I have had many devastating losses when it comes to school, sports, extracurricular and life. School: I failed every grade in school until 6th grade. Going through defeat, and defeat, getting told that I am stupid, and going to special classes to help me, hurt me a lot. My self confidence from that was destroyed, and no wants to be friends with a stupid kid.
No one wants to invest in the stupid kid, but from that pain I rose up. I worked hard, and found myself getting A's, non stop A's. From those devastating defeats, I work everyday, non stop, until I win. I now get all A's, and I earned every single one. Now, to know I really won, and shut up the voices in my head that doubt me, and to show all the people that brought me down, and said I was stupid, and horrible, I will prove wrong. Defeat is rough, but from it you become strong.
I sing, and act, and had some defeats when it comes to wanting to get certain parts, or certain solos, but from those defeats I worked harder, and I then got much better as a singer and actor, and got singing and acting parts I wanted.
What I'm saying is, life has ups and downs, and from downs/defeats you learn, and gives you more push to work for what you want. So don't beat yourself up if you fail, because you will learn to do better. My advice is don't let the defeat get you, and try and try again. Because you for sure won't meet your goal if you don't try or dwell on the past, and I wish the best for you.
I’ve been playing sports pretty much my entire life, especially soccer. I think and I hope that I’ve gotten better at handling losing as I’ve gotten older. I believe that this is not only the result of the maturity that comes with age, but also I’ve had more experiences coping with defeat. When you’ve lost before it helps you handle defeat when you lose again. With athletics, I was able to realize that not everything was super important to me. I discovered that no one really cared whether I won or lost so I stopped worrying about it and just focused on having fun. I noticed this as I looked back at my time at a summer camp that I used to go to. It was a sports summer camp that I went to in elementary and middle school. When I was younger I got upset nearly every time I lost, even if I was playing something like ping pong. As I got older, I stopped caring about whether I won or lost. I was still very competitive but I handled losing much better than I used to.
When I do care about a sport or school, I take losing, in any form, whether I fail a test or literally lose, as a learning experience. In soccer, when I lose I reflect on my performance. I think about what I could have changed or what I could have done better. Then I try to apply what I need to do better in the next practice. If I win, I still do this, but it is not to the same extent as if I lost. So, in many ways, losing helps me improve myself more than winning does.
I think everyone handles losing a little differently and the feeling you get when you lose really depends on what your losing in. For say, if I were to play a pickup basketball game with a few random guys and lose I would not be mad or sad. But if I were playing in a tournament I would feel a lot different.
Losing is a difficult and ever-present aspect of all life, not because it comes with a complex response and sometimes lasting grief, but because it forces us to change how we think about life and even more so, winning. Now, in times like these where the earth is void of social interaction and laden with disease, it is often hard to find victorious those moments like a great high-five from a friend after scoring the game point. Losing is one of those things that gets you out of nowhere and leaves you wondering what life would be like without loss. But it’s not that simple; loss is everywhere and in turn, so is the opposing force that lightens that very element of life. When it comes to me, I think of the love and connections we have as humans to our families and friends, despite these tough times. It’s the small things: the long walks, the bike rides with siblings, the early mornings of April. Loss is something that is hard to take, but I know we can get through it together.
@Oliver Eames
I think that it's great that when you lose, you use it to reflect and learn. You said that when you lose you think of the love and connections you have with your family and friends. While this isn't necessarily what I think of, I use losing as a way to learn. I think losing actually helps me more than winning does. For example, when I study, I like to make flashcards to help me. If I know what something is and I get it right, I don't spend very much time learning it, but if I get something wrong I will go over it again and again until I know it. This is my way of learning from a 'loss'. I probably end up knowing more about what I get wrong at first than what I get right.
Also, I play soccer and I always try to examine what I did in a game and how I could improve. But this is definitely amplified when I lose. I think about a time when I miscontrolled the ball or made a bad pass and then deliberate about what I could've done better. Or I think about how I could've improved my position on the field so I could have received the ball. So I agree with you, losing is the perfect time for reflection.
Losing making me more strong to finght in my life with my problems. My strainth is my problems which makes mr to win in life. As exersies i love to do gym which make me mind fesh and makin my mind to think positive. Exercies making me to feel battef aslo my friends helps me alot whenecer i got problem.
One example I handle losing by telling myself how this is just one step on how to get better. Though defeat may seem horrific but in fact, to me, it is a blessing because I learn what I do wrong and the next time a situation comes around I try not to make the same mistake and get better. One example of this occurred when I practice for countless hours for my cross country race. I would spend 4 hours practicing trying to decrease my time more and more. However I did this every other week. I ran my race running as fast as I wanted to since I had the greed of wanting to be in first place but then I got a cramp. I limped through the race almost coming in last and went straight to my coach. I knew he would get upset for running as fast as I could instead of pacing myself but I knew he would help me and be there for me. Something that I have learned with failure is that I have established a support system that I adore and appreciate. To explain, when I always fail at something or make mistakes on a task I always go to different people and use all their advice. Why? Well all of those people take the time to help me out and try to give me solutions to my problems because they care. They don’t want to see me in a bad state. From having a cramp so I talk to my coach to having a stomach ache so I go to my mom. All of these people help me out of their own hearts.
When it comes to losing and winning, everyone reacts differently. Even in each individual person they react differently to the results of different areas. For example, I am very good at math. When I was little, I would get every math problem that was in my field correct. If I didn't know what something meant, like multiplication, I would ask my parents or find out myself. But, when I moved here to North Carolina I got multiple questions wrong since my old school had a different curriculum. I even had a meltdown when I came home. Then I improvised and adapted, then I eventually overcame.
Another example of my life is wrestling. I started my freshman year and only got like five wins. This year, my sophomore year, I went to a state tournament. Wrestling tournaments contain two brackets; The regular bracket and the constellation bracket. Everyone starts off on the regular. If you lose one match, you go to the constellation bracket. If If you are on the regular, you can go to 1st or 2nd place. If you are the constellation one, the best you can do is 3rd or 4th. If you lost a second time, you're out unless you are in either final of either bracket. I got to the blood rounds and lost. That means if I would have won, I could have been 3rd or 4th. I was a bit sad but I realized I had a 17-11 win-loss and my opponent who won had maybe a 41-9. He had more wins and he had wrestled for longer while I only had two years of experience. Everyone reacts differently on different subjects
I believe that everyone handles loss differently so therefore, you cannot try to tell someone how to feel. Losing should be an experience that you turn into something positive. Loss should make you want to become better at what you are doing and achieve greatness. You don’t always have to get mad or bent out of shape when you lose, it should just make you want to push yourself to be better.
To me, winning is like the cherry on top. What matters the most is how much effort I put into what I was competing in and how much I wanted to win. For example, when I first began playing soccer, my team hardly won any of our games. Althought it was disheartening at first, I knew I was trying my hardest and putting 100% effort in trying to improve my skills. From there, we went on to win our first game in the biggest tournament we played in that year. Another example was when my highschool cross country team faced a tragic loss my sophmore year of just barely missing the spot to make it to the State meet. What makes this scenario different is that we missed the spot by 5 points, meaning that even a fraction of a second could've made a difference. It was the "I could've tried harder" or the "I could've pushed myself more at the end" that left us all with regrets. Learning from the tough loss, though, we were able to come back and win our spot to the State competiton this year. To take away from this, the best way I handle losing is to reflect on how much effort I put in and then move on and work harder.
I take care of losing depending on if i recognize that i put my best effort. If i recognize that i tried my best but lose I would be little sad, and the reason is that i knew i put up true effort.
Everyone has different ways of handling a loss. To some, it’s natural. When you lose, think positive and try to strive for greatness. Losing is apart of life to be honest and to overcome it you have to start where you left off and continue to work hard.
Even though I am very competitive at every sport I play, I believe I can handle a loss very well. Everybody handles losses differently whether it being an important game or event, no one will be the same. You should never freak out over one setback. Just come back stronger and tougher for the next time you get the opportunity to.
I honestly believe that everybody handles losing in many different ways. Not everybody handles losing in the right way but that’s okay because it’s an learning experience for us. There were many times in my life where I felt that I was losing. For example when I was younger I used to do swimming classes. The day before my race, I was feeling so great that I was gonna come in first. I was happy because I was practicing for weeks and weeks and thought that I was really prepared for this race. So when it was my time to swim I started to doubt myself because I saw all the other people that I was racing and they looked pretty better then me. So when the person yell at GO! I Instantly started to swim as fast as I could but there were 2 people ahead of me and when I got to he finished line, I had came in fourth place. I was so mad I didn’t talk to anybody for 2 whole days and didn’t even go to practice after and I was ready to quit but I didn’t. I kept going and continue to push my self and the next race I had. I did so much and I was proud of myself.
I think Most of the people thinks Winning is everything, but it isn’t. If you think about it, when you lose, you learn a lot of things from it. For example when you lose a game, you will learn the mistakes you’ve made in that game, which will help you improve, and will help you do it right the next time. I used to hate losing, and used to make me quit. But my coaches and parents have thought me that losing is just a part of life. You won’t get everything that you want, you will have to work for it by learning, and you will learn from the mistakes that you make. Mistakes are actually a positive thing because you actually learn from them and try to do it right the next time. Winning isn’t everything, losing can be good thing too. If you look at Professional teams. Whenever they lose, they actually show sportsmanship to other teams instead of feeling bad, which sometimes happens. But they learn from it and comes back stronger the next time.
I believe that everyone handles losing much differently than everyone else. That is okay though. As humans beings we are not perfect, so there will be a times in our life’s where we don’t get what we want or simply we don’t win. Aside from this fact, I, myself, handle losing pretty well, given a certain circumstance. If it’s say a video game I’m passionate about, I may be a little hasty, but I always bring myself back because I know that it is just a game. Say it is a game I am playing with students in a classroom, I take it well and just let myself know that I had fun and that I tried my best, whether I lost OR won.
Eventually, everyone will face defeat in their life. Especially in sports. If you make an error in a game or don’t make a team you keep working and then do better at the next tryout or during the next game.
It's a rainy track meet. I have one important race, only one that I care about, and that's the mile. Last season, I began and ended my season with a 5:40, the biggest disappointment in all of my sports seasons so far. The 45 degree weather isn't so bad, but the wind and the rain, they make it much worse. The track is wet. By the time I've warmed up and stretched, my socks and sweats are also wet. Due to some organization problems, the meet started late, and it has turned dark outside. I put on my spikes, and get on the start line. I'm the fastest runner in this heat; number 1. This is the second meet of the season, and it will either be the first race in which I make progress, or another one of devastation and humiliation. On your marks, set, go! I can't use my watch because of the rules, and there is no clock at the start line, so pacing myself will be hard. I lead the first lap, and according to my teammates, I'm on pace. By the end of the second lap, the dude that's #3 has gotten the lead. I slow down each 100 meters, I'm scared of speeding up and feeling more pain. I keep my pace, and by the beginning of the last lap I'm still in second place. But then, the runners behind me start to kick in. Each time I look back, someone sprints past me. On the last curve, I've still not gotten faster, and even my teammate passes me. It is a fact, that the results are decided in one make-or-break. I don't PR in that race. That meet, I lose. But one thing is for sure, I haven't given up.
When I was younger, I used to fight competitively. I wasn’t a boxer, I did martial arts. I’ve also performed different moves and or forms to be judged and or graded by the judges. In total, I have six trophies. Only one out of the six being for second place and the other five being first place trophies. But that second place was never considered a loss to me. For me, the greatest loss I’ve ever taken was for a trophy I didn’t receive but had the chance of receiving. While there was a year where I went to fight and there was no one else in my division, I won by default. But that’s still not the one I’m “salty” about (maybe a little but that’s besides the point). One year, I had the opportunity to win a Grand Champion trophy for showing off forms, I grew a bit cocky after I got a near perfect score the first time showing it. Unfortunately, I didn’t perform as well as some of the other children in my division and for the second round, no proof is given to the other students for participating in it who didn’t win. There was only the trophy and bragging rights. Had I been a little louder, a little more controlled and more powerful, I would’ve won. But thanks to that loss, I grew to know that first place isn’t always everything. So I believe loosing has both a negative and a positive side, no matter the circumstances.
When you fall, you will stand up stronger and maybe you will fall again but the idea of standing up stronger is what makes falls better. I can handle losing because the other person had something I did not but that does not mean he/she was better than me; that person just had a better perspective or motivation. Well this is not the case most of the time and we know it. Athletes for example; games don't rely on luck or chance it's all about the effort you put into your work. So when I lose; I simply remind myself that the other person put more effort into it.
When you fall, you will stand up stronger and maybe you will fall again but the idea of standing up stronger is what makes falls better. I can handle losing because the other person had something I did not but that does not mean he/she was better than me; that person just had a better perspective or motivation. Well this is not the case most of the time and we know it. Athletes for example; games don't rely on luck or chance it's all about the effort you put into your work. So when I lose; I simply remind myself that the other person put more effort into it.
Losing can be a positive or negative outcome. I myself am a track runner. I usually push myself to do better and better every day. I have great respect for my coaches and their patience with me and my progress. When it comes to some of my track meets where I run competitively against others I may lose or win. whether or not I win or lose the answer is the same. Do better next time.
Losing can be positive because it means that you didn’t give up with at least given it a try and motivates you to try harder the next time and you might accomplish the goal that you are working on.
I can handle my losing well because when I know I am not good at one thing when I lose. when you lose it also helps you to improve more and motivates us to work hard.
I handle losing well because I know that I can’t be good at everything. Also losing is a good way to keep yourself humble when you know you have faults.
I think I handle losing pretty well. I do tend to get pretty invested in sports and things like that however if the outcome is not what I hoped for, as long as I had fun and tried my best I am for the most part satisfied with myself. Of course it feels great to win, but in my eyes losing is not the end of the world.
I think I handle my losing pretty well. I do feel sad but then I remind myself that winning is not everything and you learn from failing .Defeat makes us stronger and motivates us to work harder for next time.
I am a very competitive person. When I lose, I take it pretty hard, but I tell myself that I can always get better, work harder, and win next time. I have played almost every sport there is, except for basketball. Losing is something we all have to deal with, at least at some point in our lives.
I have grown up in a huge neighborhood. I have most of the same sports as my neighbors who are a year older than me, and I am just as good, maybe even better than them. I struggle when I lose, because I try so hard to prove myself, and when I lose, it feels like I tried so hard for nothing. I do have good sportsmanship most times. In hockey, we go through the handshake line at the end. Win or lose, I still take my glove off and shake their hand. I will admit that I do have a little bit of an anger issue, but it has gotten better.
I have played golf my entire life, and it is mostly a game in the mind. If you get down, your ability to play goes down, and it is hard to get back up. People may think that golf isn't a hard sport, or that it is not a sport at all. I disagree, because I would like to see people who say that play 18 holes without getting down on themselves.
Growing up with friends that I play every sport with, it irritates me when I lose, and I should be driven to get better, but never show my frustration. As Kyo Shirodaira states, “Rather than the strength it takes to not lose, it's the strength to stand back up after a loss that is sometimes more valuable.”
I have never experienced a loss like that, but I hope if I ever do I will be a good sportsman about it.
we have a race of skipping rope at my chinese school every year. And when we, my classmate and I grows up, when we came to a theard grader, My teacher chosed Me and some of my classmate to be in the race. so we prectice. at first, I'm so bad at it. I felt bad because my team mate is getting better and better at skipping rope. but I did't get out of the team, I precticed harder and harder. And at last, I'm good at skipping rope. And the sad thing is, we loose the raec. But I felt proud of myself because I lerned a some thing I thought I am bad at.
The way I handle losing is I say to myself try again and you'll do better, and I keep on trying. if that dose not work, I will go home and tomorrow i will try again with a new positive attitude.
I handle losing pretty well. Although, I do have high expectation for myself. Whenever I lose in anything, I always plan that next time I will win. This motivates me to train harder, so that next time I would come back stronger in hope that I would win.
I handle losing depending on if I know that I did my best. If I know that I tried my best but still lost I would be a little sad but not so sad, and the reason why is because I knew that I put up a good game.
I have not yet experienced a defeat in my life yet. But if I had, I would have kept trying to accomplish the goal and not give up until I did it.
How I handle losing mostly depends on who I play. If I lose to someone who I know is better than me I just feel a bit sad but if I know I am better I am super upset.
How well I will handle losing depends on how much time and energy I spend on this event. If i would spend minimum of my time and energy and then i lose i wouldn't be as sad as if i would put my maximum on something and then lose. I can say that for me defeat is not that harmful as for my other friends. I'm kind of used to being 2nd or 3rd in everything I do but then when I finally win something with the first place it becomes something really special for me, something that I'll never forget and tell everyone about. Defeat is not a bad thing. It makes us even stronger than we think we are now. The only thing we all need to know is that we don't need to be afraid of it. Everything will come eventually you just have to not give up.
Sometimes I feel like people take losing too seriously and at times they don’t realize it could be just as good as winning. When you lose it allows you to recollect your thoughts and see where you went wrong or where you made a mistake. It also allows you to reflect on how you can fix your mistakes for the next time. Doing this can ensure you progress and good results.
How well i will handle losing depends on how much time and energy i spent on this event. If i would spend minimum of my time and energy and then i lose i wouldn't be as sad as if i would put my maximum on something and then lose. I can say that for me defeat is not that harmful as for my other friends. I'm kind of used to being 2nd or 3rd in everything i do but then when i finally win something with the first place it becomes something really special for me, something that i'll never forget and tell everyone about. Defeat is not a bad thing. It makes us even stronger than we think we are now. The only thing we all need to know is that we don't need to be afraid of it. Everything will come eventually you just have to not give up.
I love competition because it pushes me to be better than I expect myself to. Now I won't go with all the "I lost one time and I know it will make me better next time" because quite frankly, losing pisses me off. It makes me realize that I'm not yet on the same level as the people I'm running against and that the hours of training I have put in aren't enough. Running is my passion and the only way for me to truly lose would be to stop running altogether.
I keep the defeats in my mind every time I compete. While racing, I repeat in my head "Don't let this chance pass by." In the days between my weekly races, I watch film, I study racing tactics, and I make sure I am prepared for the next race because, winning is the science of being totally prepared.
In the end, losing does change you for the better but only if you accept the loss. Now I'm not saying that you should just turn to numb acceptance, but you should know that you can't change the past but you can write the future.
I'm a very competitive person. My father has pushed me to be a competitive person, and to hate losing, whether it was in recreational basketball, baseball, or even getting lower scores than other people on tests. Playing lacrosse is a game of getting beat, but it's also a game of how well can you make up for getting beat. That's why I love it so much. Because I play defense, we are constantly getting beat by faster and shiftier attack-men. But, just because we are beat in the beginning does not mean the play is over. We must bust our butt to get back in front of our guy, because lacrosse is not a game where goals are scored easily. Losing these one-on-one matchups against attack-men (excuse my French) pisses me off. It pushes me to go harder on the next rep, next play, etc.
I'm driven by the agony of defeat. It motivates me to work harder, because in all honesty, no one likes losing. Who wants to be known as the loser, or the worst at something? We should all strive to be the best, even if it means being the most competitive and heated person in the room. Losing pushes me, and it should push all of us to be the best version of ourselves we can be.
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I am a very competitive person and I hate losing. As I have gotten older I have learned that winning is not everything and there can be valuable lessons learned when you lose. The minutes and hours after a loss are always bitter and tough to get through. But reflecting on your loss is always important as you can look back and see what you can improve on.
Losing is hard. Especially when you have worked so hard to get to a certain point and then everything crumbles and it feels like everything you want to do is out of your reach. When it comes to losing, I believe that you have to face a defeat to truly understand the importance and pride that you can get from a big achievement. It's all about adversity. The experiences and hard work will eventually pay off, and you never know when, but if you put the effort in it will come back to you. With your defeats, you will grow as an athlete, as a scholar, or as a person in general. It takes a lot of mentality and effort to overcome a big loss, but in the end it is all worth the pain to experience a true win.
I personally have faced many losses during swim meets. I am a naturally very competitive person, and I do not like to lose a race. Although I don't like to lose, I have lost a race numerous times. It gets me riled up, but I have to take a step back and understand and learn from my defeat, as it is not the end of the world. Losing is painful, but it allowed me to take on a new perspective on my sport and everything around me.
I don't handle a loss well. I'm the biggest sore loser I know, well after my mom, I take after her. Losing can be one of two things. A barrier blocking you from succeeding or a lesson to make you better. The way it sways from one to the other is if your mind is focused on the disappointment or the next step you need to take. But in high stakes like described in the article, I definitely understand how important being good enough is, but I’d rather have fun with an event than actively try to be better than everyone else. However I do try my best to not be a sore loser.
I handle losing depending on how much it matters and if it’s over a period of time. If I try to achieve something that I’ve invested a copious amount of time in and fail, then I’ll get pretty upset at myself. If the thing is trivial, then I don't feel bothered unless I get trounced time after time again. That’s my initial reaction anyway. Afterwards, I use that emotion as a motivation to push harder so I won’t lose the next time. Because the win you’ve been looking for is so much sweeter after facing defeat time after time again. It’s better to view your losses as a learning experience, that all it means is that there is more for you to learn and improve.
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Defeat is what i'd say is the ladder you have to climb to achieve success and can't be said otherwise. It's thought to have been looked that if you fail, its gods way of saying the time of success isn't ready for you yet. Failing builds knowledge on said task or goal and the more you fail the more progress youre making to inevitably your succession. Don't let failure discourage your progress though, because you are given endless chances and to quit on that will only build the habit of quitting more. At that point will you lose progress.
Defeat is what i'd say is the ladder you have to climb to achieve success and can't be said otherwise. It's thought to have been looked that if you fail, its gods way of saying the time of success isn't ready for you yet. Failing builds knowledge on said task or goal and the more you fail the more progress you're making to inevitably your succession. Don't let failure discourage your progress though, because you are given endless chances and to quit on that will only build the habit of quitting more. At that point will you lose progress.
Two years ago, my lacrosse team qualified for a high-tier competition. This was a tournament of strong teams going head-to-head. My team was accustomed to winning, as our typically opponents were not difficult competition. We came in headstrong and confident. It was little surprise to our wiser parents when our expectations were dashed by better-coached, better-trained, and better all-around teams. We lost every game that tourney. We felt utterly defeated. When I was disappointed afterward, my mother consoled me by saying, "Losing is never fun, but you have to go through it to truly enjoy winning." She was completely right.
My mother's wise words, that losses were necessary to enjoy wins, resonated with me. In order to bask in the glory of victory, one needs to undergo chilling defeat. Losing is part of most games. In an ever-competitive world where everyone is looking to come out on top, there will be so-called losers. However, losing is, in a way, subjective. The only way to truly lose is if one gives up completely. If a person is strong, does not allow themselves to admit defeat, they will persevere. They may not win one battle, one race, one game, but they will win in the long-term. It is easy to assume that those who lose once at something are inferior than "winners". However, only if a group or individual undergoes crushing defeat can they develop the mental fortitude to come back next time completely prepared. Losers can become the real winners.
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@Sean Hession
I completely agree with what your mom was saying "losing is never fun, but you have to go through it to truly enjoy winning." It is such a good lesson to learn early on in life, as it will carry with you through a numerous amount of experiences, games, and defeats. It takes a lot to overcome a loss, but what matters is how you personally take the defeat.
I don't handle a loss well. I'm the biggest sore loser I know, well after my mom, I take after her. My parents have always taught me the value of hardwork, and with that comes my own desire to always be at the top. Of course I can't always finish first, but that drives me to work harder.
I used to be in a slump when I thought that if something didn't go my way, it never would and I should just move on. But when you've worked so hard for something and you're so close, you know the right thing to do is to keep on pushing. Linden knew how close she was, how much time and effort she put into her training and she didn't want to fall short. Unfortunately, this was her last shot, her last opportunity to compete on the olympic stage. Although she missed her last chance, she didn't have regret because she knew she worked hard. I want to be able to look back at what I've done and be pleased because I know I've put in my best effort, and that's all that I can do.
Facing failures is a huge part of learning and growth. Setbacks make you work that much harder the next time because you don't want to face that same feeling of defeat. Don’t dwell on the failures, but use them to motivate you with no regrets of what you could've done differently.
I don't handle a loss well. I'm the biggest sore loser I know, well after my mom, I take after her. My parents have always taught me the value of hardwork, and with that comes my own desire to always be at the top. Of course I can't always finish first, but that drives me to work harder.
I used to be in a slump when I thought that if something didn't go my way, it never would and I should just move on. But when you've worked so hard for something and you're so close, you know the right thing to do is to keep on pushing. Linden knew how close she was, how much time and effort she put into her training and she didn't want to fall short. Unfortunately, this was her last shot, her last opportunity to compete on the olympic stage. Although she missed her last chance, she didn't have regret because she knew she worked hard. I want to be able to look back at what I've done and be pleased because I know I've put in my best effort, and that's all that I can do.
Facing failures is a huge part of learning and growth. Setbacks make you work that much harder the next time because you don't want to face that same feeling of defeat. Don’t dwell on the failures, but use them to motivate you with no regrets of what you could've done differently.
I find it sad how often ideas of winning and losing can cause conflict between people, or make a person less confident in their own abilities. I’m not very competitive and I don’t want to be, it isn’t fun to lose but always winning isn't as engaging either. In high stakes like described in the article, I definitely understand how important being good enough is, but I’d rather have fun with an event than actively try to be better than everyone else. Something that would put me down for losing definitely has to be how people who win can treat those who lose, mainly their lack of companionship if they take too much pride in success. Success is a good thing, but I can’t say that if the winner doesn’t treat it and others well because of it. I think I handle losing well because I’d rather something be enjoyable, but if I don’t take a loss well I need to remind myself of that. The heat of the moment can make something much less fun if you’re only focused on winning.
For my whole life I have played the same sport year after year and each year I have faced a new challenge and obstacle that I have had to go though. Some of the losses that I have felt aren’t just from one game but from a season in general. I lost one season when I broke my hip bone the day before the season started and it kept me on crutches for months and kept me off the field. Due to that situation I ended up not getting a lot of playing time that year but I knew that I needed to make the most of that season. One of the biggest points I can remember is working my way onto the field in a tournament and to the finals where it came down to penalty kicks and we won. Being apart of that team and being such a big part of that victory was an amazing feeling especially after feeling as though my season was over.
Another defeat I faced was a coach who played the game with a different mindset than I did. I can be a vocal and intense player but he wasn’t like that and no coach I have had before ever really had a problem with this except him. It was frustrating to play with someone who put down the way I played and wouldn’t guide me to using my skills for the better. All I ever really got from him was calm down, don’t be so aggressive, you don’t need to be so loud.
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And when he made comments to me they really hurt sometimes but I would not let his words keep me down he wanted to suppress me and make me play his way. I wouldn’t, I would be loud, I would be aggressive, I would communicate with my teammates and I played the way I wanted and in the end I did benefit me and my team. I can accept defeat but I don’t like to and it's not always graceful. And I don’t like to be held down or back when I know there is so much more I could be doing.
Losing can be one of two things. A barrier blocking you from succeeding or a lesson to make you better. The way it sways from one to the other is if your mind is focused on the disappointment or the next step you need to take. Without a drive to be the best you will never give it your all and you will never truly succeed. If you strive to be the best and you give it your all and you get one place below qualifications or you get second you won't see this as a loss you'll see this as a win because all it does is give you more drive. More of a reason to keep going and never give up.
I have chosen to do a sport for 2 years in which I lose every single race I will ever be in. I come back season after season though, so it obviously doesn’t bring me down too much. Running doesn’t come easily for me, in fact its extremely difficult, but I enjoy it for so many reasons that have nothing to do with the actual sport.
I love the time with my friends, the exercise, and the challenge. Many people question me about why I do a sport that I’m not really good at and the answer is really hard to explain. I think it’s because part of me doesn’t mind losing. I like not having the competitive pressure, and love cheering on the many people ahead of me.
I don’t think I’ll ever understand what it feels like to be so close and not win. The devastating moment for many, when they realize that all their hard work preparing is lost when someone else is just slightly better, must be agonising.
For most, cross country is just a race against yourself to improve, so I don’t know what it feels like to really lose. For me, its about knowing my best and working towards running faster than that time.
I feel for all those incredibly talented men and women who worked so hard to get to the Olympic Trials, and just barely miss their spot on the team. I would say, “Oh, you can try for next time!”, but for these athletes, it was last time they’ll have a chance because 4 years later, they'll no longer be at their best.
@Mollie Brinker I like what you said about it being easier to lose when there's less pressure. If there is always someone pushing you too hard or that you know will be frustrated if you lose, it takes all of the enjoyment out of the activity. With cross country, since you're not always under pressure, you're able to enjoy it because you get to exercise and spend time with your friends. You think of it as a competition against yourself which I feel like is how the sport should always be.
Losing is only as bad as you make it out to be. If you treat losing as a sin you’ll never win, if you treat failure as a learning experience then you’ve gained something. Back in the day I used to be on my school’s tennis team (rad, huh) and our first game against another school was not the greatest experience. Boy did I get trounced hard, made me feel quite inadequate in my playing capabilities causing me to almost quit the team because of “lost honor” or something. Then I stopped caring about the fact I lost and more on how to not lose again which made me a better player in the end. I never got that fated rematch, but I don’t think I need it anymore.
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@Joe Keller In the moment, losing is one of the hardest things for me to deal with. I would definitely consider myself a sore loser, especially when I am going something I care about. However, losing has always been my biggest motivator to get better.
Like you, I play a sport that I care a lot about and losing is never an easy thing to deal with. I can definitely say that I have gotten better as time has gone on, but the feeling of failure always hits pretty hard.
I think it's important to be able to look at losing as a learning opportunity, otherwise you will never get better. And if you never get better, you will never win.
@Joe Keller I hate to lose. Whether it is a silly spat with my brother or a competitive sporting event, I want to be the winner. When I am involved in something competitive, it consumes me. At my house, we Dad and I play ping pong. He has played longer and I’m still learning. Losing should not be a big deal, because I’m a novice. Nevertheless, I absolutely hate losing to him.
When you are defeated in something you put your heart and soul into, it is demoralizing and frustrating. After getting over the initial wave of frustration and anger, I try to look at the bigger picture and how that experience is minuscule in the grand scheme of things. It is also good to appreciate the opposition and the way they performed in order to beat you. This often inspires me to improve and better myself. On the bright side, when it is time to fill in college essays, I’ll have lots of examples of learning from failures.
I think losing is more beneficial than winning. Although I believe this, I am in no way saying I like losing. As someone who understands putting in time and hard work into achieving a goal, and then failing, I am never happy after losing anything. If looked at from the right perspective, losing and failure can be a great teacher. I try to stay in the mindset of “how can I make sure that never happens again” as oppose to “man, that really sucks” and analyze my failures to my benefit. Specifically, in sports, I am fortunate enough to have the ability to review film. This tool allows me to break down my own play and analyze it play by play, specifically my mistakes and the events or actions that led to it. By using it the correct way, losing can be the key to winning
@Waz, I can’t even count the amount of times I’ve lost a race or a game and it hurts every time. I run track, specially hurdles and I come nowhere close to winning first but it’s my teams points which count in the end. If we loose, I can’t help but blame myself mostly because I know I can do better.
I agree that loosing can be the key to winning and Iook forward to training and our next track meet where I can test out my new skills.
Losing is one of the most important building blocks of life. Losing helps us learn what went wrong, what could’ve gone better and teaches us how to improve. If everyone was a winner, or completions didn’t exist, society would never advance and no one would learn from their mistakes.
Now personally, I am a huge baby and sore-loser. Gosh I hate losing, I mean, who doesn’t? I’ll be a hypocrite however, since I do believe that losing shouldn’t be a negative thing necessarily, instead it should be looked upon as a valuable lesson for growth. Unfortunately, I most certainly am a sore-loser. I cannot stand getting bested in a game, activity or other, I love to win.
I am extremely competitive by nature and more often than not, I find myself in the losing position. But, just cause I lose doesn’t mean I get less competitive, in fact I’d even say I get even more competitive. All the losing I’ve endured has helped light a fire under me to help motivate me to keep learning and trying things over again.
I love my competitive nature because it helps me become a more humble person. I believe that if more people embraced their losses instead of showing them off as a chip on their shoulder the world would be a better place- a cheesy and cliche sentiment, but one I believe I nonetheless.
I urge anyone reading this to start actively counting their loses as valuable as they they count their wins- go out there and strive to learn and grow.
@Ani I used to be a sore loser as you describe yourself. However, in the past two years, I greatly improved my grace in losing. The way I was able to do this was through not focusing on a singular defeat, but on working toward the next chance for success. If you focus on the journey, the practice, the training, more than the destination, you will become a much less of a sore loser.
What you must look at is how the outcome of a loss can actually be good. A loss is necessary to inject the desire to win. If a person or team only won all the time, they would never appreciate it. However, if a person is defeated, and then steels their mind to rise back up and win next time, they have a true winner's mindset. The fourth-place runners in the article will likely be the ones who work hardest before the next Olympic games and they may qualify next time. Because it is only after this loss that they can enjoy winning and understand how badly they want it. As Emily Dickinson said in "Success is Counted Sweetest", "Success is counted sweetest by those who ne'er succeed."
Losing can be one of the worst feelings in the world, and I think we all must lose at some point in our life. Losing is a humbling experience that helps us take another look at how we are living. It allows us to reassess our goals and view life from another perspective. Although this may sound very existential, this truly is a positive thing about losing.
@Molly Howard
I completely agree with you. Without losing you will never step out of your comfort zone. You'll never challenge yourself and life is the complete opposite of this. Losing teaches you so many life lessons and ultimately gives you a win at the end of the day.
When I was younger I was extremely competitive and would do anything in my power to not lose, whether that meant that I studied extra or went to dance practice sven day a week instead of six. As I went through puberty I started to handle my many defeats more than well, because I didn't care as much and I was tired of being so competitive all of the time. Today, however, I feel like competitiveness is coming back stronger, as I am going to start applying to colleges soon, and I am about to start my eleventh dance competition season in a week. Therefore, the answer to the question on whether or not I handle losing well is it depends on what state or situation I am in. I usually don't handle losing well when I have overly worked hard or when my competitive personality kicks in. However, if I lose over something that is little and meaningless to me or is something that I know that I didn't put my all into than I don't let it bother me. Overall, though I feel like I have learned to handle losing a lot better over the years because it shows that you are truly humble and not bitter towards others winning.
As a very competitive person, I strongly dislike losing anything. When I lose it makes me think about the person that one and how I want to be in their place. So because of that losing also fuels me to strive to be the best version of myself in all aspects of life. Some losses I can brush off pretty quickly and they don’t, but the big ones manage to stick with me for a while as motivation and that is what makes me so competitive. I feel when losing I can keep my composure on the outside usually and for the most part on the inside as well, but there is always something in me that makes me strive to win at all times. I want to win at all times because even though you learn more from your losses, the wins are the ones you will cherish forever and make you feel that you have succeeded.
Personally I have a 50/50 opinion about losing. Sure there’s always the argument of “oh it’s just a game it’s not that serious” and there’s always something that can be learned by losing. To an extent a lot of that is true but there are times where there’s just things you can’t learn from losing. Like if you get completely destroyed without any chance to react or process what’s happening you aren’t learning anything. Times like that it’s like what’s the takeaway? However there are times when facing defeat leads to growth. If you can find faults in your own play and your team depending on the game there’s room for improvement which couldn’t be seen by those who always win. Due to many losses people who capitalize on adapting to their faults can become stars and rise and become amazing players. Ultimately I feel like there are times where the result can seem unsatisfactory, times where I can learn new tricks, techniques, and counters to my opponents moves, and times where a couple losses can quickly turn into a fast adaption to the reason why I lose. But the most important thing is to not give up on what you’re passionate about because if you do you only lose to yourself in the end.
Many face defeat in their lives that ultimately cause them to feel worthless and weak. However, whenever I face a lose, I find it as an experience full of lessons. Loosing isn’t a bad thing. Though it might suck, it provides many valuable lessons that one can take with them and better them in their future. There has been many times where I faced defeat in school. For example, test scores that don’t go the way I hoped. I find these kinds of experiences as something that will build my character and my preseverance. It will push me to learn from my mistakes and do better next time. I find progression very important in my character overall. I just keep working on myself and find the positives out of my defeats.
As a child, I felt that losing was a terrible thing and it was something to be ashamed of. It felt like an awful thing which often had me feeling very down and sad for which I could not find a reason as to why. As the years went on, I’ve worked to avoid losing through hard work but though I have experienced losing significantly less, I still have experienced it. But as time has gone on, I’ve realized losing wasn’t the worst thing in the world. Sure, it would leave me feeling bad for like 5 minutes but then afterwards I would look past the experience and look for ways to improve myself in whatever experience I had just lost in to avoid future defeat. Sure it’s not as easy to look past big events and I’ve personally experienced this in tournaments in which I’ve come up short of 1st place on a few occasions. But overall, I’ve grown to accept losing as a demonstration as a need for improvement or to work harder for my goals and that losing comes with the experience of learning.
Losing is apart of most sports seasons, but it is important to handle it the right way. I hate losing, and I do not hate many things. But, I feel I come back from losing the right way. Something I hate as much as losing, is people who lose the wrong way. I feel losing is important to come back from, those who pout and become angry do not lose correctly. Losing needs to be an experience in which players come back from and learn from. I learn more about my team and myself from losing rather than winning. I take losing as a motivation, I hate the feeling of losing and I want nothing more than to start winning again. Losing makes me check my effort, if my team loses, I know we didn’t play to our best ability. I make the top priority to work even harder to get better and make sure we win the next game. Especially, when a season ends on a loss, my team and I come back hungry for the next season. We work hard over the offseason because it depicts whether we will win or lose games the next season. Losing happens, but it’s how a player comes back from a loss that is really important.
Losing is a feeling that is highly circunstancial to the situation, as a little kid growing up I would hate to lose and would always give 110 percent within all aspects of my life, and I still do to a degree, but nowadays I always look for the lesson to be learned in all losses to prevent that one from occurring again in the future, you will now encounter new losses which you can learn even more lessons from and there will always be a battle to be fought. Sometimes though I struggle really hard with accepting a loss, sometimes it’s something you have no control or responsibility over and the lesson gets harder to search for, but I promise you in all negative situations within life a ray of light will always manage to shine through.
I used to hate losing. It made me feel inferior to the person I was trying to beat. But as time progressed I realized that as much skill goes into winning so does luck. Now I’m not saying that you are going to beat every single person in a competition solely on luck, but sometimes you can be undeserving and still win because of luck. The most distinct memory of this for me would be when I played football. It was my 8th grade year with the Carol Stream Panthers and we had a terrible practice week, the entire team was sluggish and unmotivated. We can to our playoff game with little spirit and even less readiness. The other team was pumped ready to go excited while we were anxious. When it came down to playing we made dozens of more mistakes then them, play call errors, memory mistakes, incorrect blocks, arm tackles, the whole situation. But we still won, and not because of the other teams inadequacy but because we were lucky. We got a miracle throw and made an unbelievable play that we had not practiced, then got a the extra point to win the game. Did we deserve the win, no. We played worse, we practiced less and we overall weren’t ready to perform, but we won because of sheer luck. This taught me that you can put everything you have into an activity and it still might not work, you still might come up just a little short. Not because you are inferior but because you weren’t as lucky.
Defeat is often a big blow to anyone’s confidence, motivation, and attitude, I myself have experienced all of those things. I am a ballet dancer and while many people think we just twirl on stage, what they don’t see is the grueling hard work and competition that goes on behind the scenes. Since the ballet community is so small you have to be the best of the best to make it into a company. This year alone I have traveled to 5 different countries and numerous states for auditions and intensives in hopes of being accepted into a world class company or school. Unfortunately defeat has accompanied me along the way and being differed has taken its toll on my dreams and confidence, but as much as it has hurt me, it has also forced me to learn to trust the process and have faith with where I will end up. No matter the outcome I am always inspired by my experiences to continue to push myself.
In 8th grade I tried out for my town’s middle school travel field hockey team. I had been playing for a year, was super invested, and because I was one of the oldest, I figured I was likely to be on the team. However, similar to Linden and Korir, I was just shy: I was the only 8th grader to be cut from the team and I was told by the coach that they really wanted to put me on but they simply didn’t have enough room. This was a major setback for me because I wouldn't be other girls my age, and beyond that, everyone knew I was the only 8th grader to be cut while a 6th grader had made it on. I remember going to my mom and telling her I wanted to quit. However, once the shock and sadness had passed, I decided to play for the lower team with newer field hockey players. I ended up being put in for every game on that team and was one of the highest scorers. While I was still upset I didn’t make the travel team, I realized that by being on the lower team I got more playing time and experience than I would’ve had they made an exception and put me on the travel team. I did end up quitting come high school because of conflicts with other activities I wanted to participate in, but being cut taught me to overcome my setbacks and to take them as opportunities to learn. I know I’ll face similar experiences throughout my life and I’m grateful I had the opportunity to make that choice — stick with it despite being upset or to quit — because it set me up to be optimistic when I face impediments
A couple months ago, my skating team got last place at a major competition. It absolutely crushed us and made us feel hopeless. It was our first time competing in a higher division, and losing made us feel like we didn’t deserve to be there. However, after a day or two of sulking we were all angry because elements we had executed perfectly in practice did not translate to the ice in front judges. We worked the hardest we ever had for the next month because we were so motivated, and at our next competition we got 1st place! This is why I believe losing is an important experience to have. Losing is just a learning experience that motivates you to succeed the next time.
I have been playing sports for my whole life. I’m a two sport athlete in hockey and lacrosse, and have had my fair share of losses. I have lost multiple championships in both sports. The past couple years my hockey team has had an early exit from the state tournament and after the final horn sounds is one of the toughest feelings watching the other team celebrate as you realize your season is over. Even worse than having an early round exit is seeing the other team throw their helmets and gloves up in the air after a championship game knowing that you came so close, but failed to be in that same position. But what you do after a big loss is what really matters. How you act after a big loss truly shows your character and who you are as a person.
Everybody in counters lose eventually. Either in sports, school, or real life. When being faced with these you need to not think of it as a lose up as a learning experience. Being dyslexic and a two sport athlete, I have in countered plenty of loses in my life time. Instead of being sorrowing about this loss, I have learned that you need to push yourself to get better and not let the same mistake cause that lose. In this process there will be obstacles of people telling you that you cannot succeed, you won’t make it but you have to take this and us it as motivation. My whole life people have been telling me that I would ever be able to start, or being able to get good grades. But I push myself and prove them wrong, not looking back.
Have you ever experienced a devastating loss or disappointment in some aspect of school, sports, extracurriculars or another area of your life? What was it like? How did you bounce back from it, if at all? Did it change you profoundly, either for the better or the worse? What advice do you have for someone who falls short of a life-defining goal?
I remember when my team lost a game. We were sad, but the next day we had another game and we won!! However, it still wasn't enough for the team because we never lose. That was our first time losing and I remember when I got out of the team, it was so sad. I will never forget those days. I had fun when I lost my grandpa I went crazy for like 5 days it has hard for me.
I am a two sport athlete. I have been playing soccer and tennis throughout my life. I was never the best on my varsity tennis team so I was used to loosing a lot in matches. I would never beat myself about it because all I know is that I tried my best. If I hadn’t tried my best, then I would feel sad. Losing is not fun, but sometimes I think losing is a great learning experience. When I lose I think about what I did wrong and how I can improve for the next tennis match or soccer game. Attitude is a huge factor when it comes to losing because people will get sad and don’t want to try again, however, that should not be the mind set. Get back up and learn from your mistakes.
Last year during my junior track and field season I faced many defeats and losses. My iron level was extremely low, making it hard to keep up with the fast paced and intense workouts my coaches gave me. I would finish a race completely gassed and found my times to give getting worse and worse when they should’ve been getting better and better. I was doing everything right yet wasn’t seeing the results I wanted. People who I’d consistently smoked in workouts were beating me by what seemed like minutes and I felt like my times were always the slowest. When it came time for state series I was told my times weren’t good enough to be in the relay. This absolutely crushed me and as much as I tried my best to deal with the harsh reality, it still hurt. Luckily I was given the chance to run at sectionals and prove my spot on the team. I was prepared and focused going into this meet and it payed off. I ran my fastest time yet and got to run at the state meet. I think losing is important because it teaches you to work that much harder to prove yourself and eventually get what you want. I read Shalane Flanagan’s post the other day where she emphasized that everyone will get their moment. She encouraged athletes to work hard and face setbacks with determination because everyone has a chance to shine at some point and I thought this really made a lot of sense on the topic of losing and growing from that.
Nobody likes to lose, but losing is an essential part of society. If losing wasn’t a thing what would drive you to be better? Personally, I see losing as an opportunity to prove to others your worth and show all why you compete. Losing could be the poison in your life if not taken properly. A loser cannot sit around waiting for a win, one must work to improve until losing isn’t an outcome. Losing will always be a thing, but it doesn’t have to be a bad thing.
Losing sucks, you play to win not to lose. I have always been known to be extremely competitive whether it’s backyard basketball or organized basketball I want to win every single time. I jut prefer knowing that I’m better or that my team is better than the other. Although the sad thing about sports is you can’t always win, you can try but one way or another you will find a way to lose. More times than not you aren’t defined by your wins but your losses, they examine what the team did to beat you and how can you grow from that. A lot of the time losing is the best thing that can happen for a team because it gives them a wake up call that you aren’t perfect and you need to improve. I will never be ok with losing but I will always take a valuable lesson from losing because you must learn where to improve
Losing is never fun. I—a student athlete—have played many sports throughout my life. I can describe firsthand the hardships that comes with losing as well as the satisfaction that comes with winning. Although every athlete prefers to win, there are some circumstances when a team or individual loses. The feeling of losing usually depends on your attitude throughout the game. For instance, if you were doing your best and playing your hardest, losing would feel dreadful. However, if you were to play without caring about the outcome, losing would feel acceptable.
I used to play basketball and one of the teams I played for had made it to finals. We were playing for first place and lost only by a few points. My whole team and I played our heart out into that game. We were devastated that we did not win first place, however, our coach was able to cheer us up by detailing all of our achievements throughout the season. My advice for anyone who has experienced losing is to keep trying your best and work your hardest as hard work does pay off in the long run.
@Asha Amin I really like what you said about losing, and specifically, what you said about attitude. I believe that mentality and attitude are detrimental to the outcome of a situation and how you handle it. I can say that I am guilty of not taking my own advice, and have ended up sour and mad after a loss. It is easy to get discouraged when you lose, especially when you know that you've put in time, effort, and heart. The key is to cherish the work that you did, and how much you grew along the way, not the outcome. Use your loss as motivation to take a breath, work hard, and come back stronger. There is always something that we could've done better. There is always a room for us to regret some decisions. The key to losing is not to put yourself down, it is to smile, be proud of all of your hard work, and try again.
I used to have a very flawed way of thinking when I used to lose. While I'm not in sports like the people in the article, I'm involved in music which is arguably just as competitive as sports. Whenever I didn't get accepted to perform or wasn't offered a solo, I used to be really hard on myself. I thought I wasn't talented enough or I wouldn't ever achieve anything in this field when I got rejected. Fortunately, after many rejections, I've realized that it's not always my fault.
Most of the time, one failed competition or audition shouldn't determine your abilities. There are many factors that can attribute to you not getting in or accepted to something, and jumping to the conclusion that you're just bad at what you do is ineffective. Failure is inevitable in life, and accepting that it's okay to fail will help you to be better. How is someone supposed to learn and grow when all they do is win? That failure should push you to work harder, and when you finally do win, it'll be that more rewarding.
I remember a day, 2 years ago, like no other. I was participating in the state science fair at NC State. Somehow my partner and my project made it all the way there even though we thought that it wouldn't even pass our school's judges. It was kind of surreal and shocking that I was at this event. I was very excited to be there. The day passed as I looked through the building which was very clean and pristine. Waiting for the judges to one by one come to my project was more heart-racing than speaking. I tried to temper my excitement because I knew that the project wouldn't win but I still had some hope. And hope sure is an annoying feeling sometimes. Of course, that hope turned into defeat but it wasn't soul-crushing or anything. I was still a little bitter even if I didn't admit it back then. However, I think I left that building, left Raleigh, NC, a more confident person overall.
Losing sure does suck but there is a feeling on the hope that persists afterward. It doesn't go away even when defeated. That hope is what pushes you forward to even greater heights. Unlike the 4th place finishers in the race, a wasn't thought close to winning. If I were, I would probably be raging knowing my attitude. Although, I do hope that those who did come close to finishing don't give up and can find true success.
I’ve experienced many losses, but I’ve learned to embrace those as reasons to be better or stronger. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten out of the water after a swim meet with a less than ideal time or a DQ and beat myself up over the “what if I didn’t take that breath” and “if I had just done that instead.”
Losing never feels good, but that can serve as a motivation. If I got second this time, I’ll just make sure to practice harder next time.
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@Francine Wei I have the same mentality. Whenever I lose a game I think about what I could have done better but in a positive way if that makes sense. I don't just harp on my mistakes because I'm mad at myself, I try and take something away for next time when the same situation presents itself. I definitely take losing as a motivation rather than a time to get mad at myself or my teammates because that will get you nowhere.
@Francine Wei I try to use my losses as motivation to work harder and improve as well. It's hard not to regret what may have cost you first place or the score you wanted, but I have learned the difference between dwelling on my mistakes and learning from them. For me, especially since I participate in team activities, knowing that a mistake of my own could cost the whole team a win can be petrifying before we even start. Thinking of a past mistake would only hinder me further and cause me to "get in my head" as people like to say. I find that it is best to teach past mistakes as learning moments. I avoid thinking of slip-ups before a big performance, but I keep them in my mind when I'm in the middle of an intense workout that may seem too hard. That motivation to prevent a similar occurrence can be some of the strongest motivation you will ever have. That’s why I think it is essential to remember our losses, but not keep them in the forefront of our thoughts. The key to handling a loss is to use it to your advantage and not give it the power to be a disadvantage.
@Francine Wei I somewhat agree with your way to handle losing, I try to learn what we could’ve done better as a team, then I think what I could have done better. It’s hard to handle losing for me, when it’s a physical sport, or I’m on the spot I want to give it my all. When you lose after giving it your all it’s hard. Nobody is undefeated everyone knows what losing feels like, some deny that. It sounds cliche but it is how you get back up after losing, it’s coming back and winning. I despise when people make excuses after losing to make it seem like they didn’t do anything wrong, I’ll admit I’ve done it before as well, I try not to, but it’s hard to see that person win, when the couldn’t step up and take responsibility. This is where we disagree maybe, some say losing can teach you more than a win. Personally when I lose a big game, I can’t go back so what can I do, sit there and think about the loss, it’s not fun, I get frustrated randomly, I’ll think about it later at the dinner table and become angry over something that happened hours ago. When I lose I try to take responsibility, when I win I learn from it and remember the feeling.
Losing is never fun. It’s really sad to find out you have lost, after all the hard work and time you spent on it. Despite this, there are many things you gain from losing than you would have if you had won. In life you will be winning and losing many, we won’t be able to win at everything in life so it’s best not to dwell in our defeats. We should try to use losing as a way to learn what we need to improve on and as motivation. Losing provides good feedback on how we are doing, it gives us specific things to work on which can be hard to point out, use this as a learning experience for the future. Of course losing will always be awful- especially with something you worked hard on- always strive for the positives of defeat, and success will be near.
@Ema Thorakkal Sometimes, I believe dwelling on defeats can be good. Not to an unhealthy extent, but a defeat is a constant reminder of something you could have done better and thinking of it motivates you to become more. No one was ever pushed to go further by a win; in fact, I would say that wins create comfort and complacency. A loss on the other hand shows you what your flaws, making the steps you must take to fix them very clear. For example, I play soccer and my team had a great season last year in which we earned a bid to the national playoffs. Coming into this year, we all thought we would waltz back into the playoffs and now are sitting closer to the bottom of the table when we were top three all season last year. Although the losses we've been taking aren't also the most fun, they have highlighted the weak points of our team and have allowed us to become better than we were a year ago. Our record may show a mediocre team, but we've grown from last year due to the use of our failures as fuel to become better players. A winning season would have been great fun, but would not have shaped like our current one has, which is why I think losing, and sometimes dwelling on those losses, is important.
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Defeat always stings when you let it sit in after the fact. You just have to learn how to bounce back. I’ve always been told that it’s all about how you get up after defeat. Losses have always been tough, but for me as a baseball player I’ve learned to have a short memory because when you dwell on things for too long you get distracted and it takes away from the game. I also use the same mentality in basketball and it works great because once I make a mistake I just move onto the next thing, so it doesn’t affect my performance. Anytime I fall short of the goal I just tell myself there’s a reason this happened and I need to work harder for my next opportunity so that I don’t feel this feeling again.
I believe the best way to appreciate success is to have failed before. Just like Emily Dickinson explains in her poem “Success is Counted Sweetest,” it illustrates that those who have tasted failure can truly feel the real essence of success. I think the most disappointing loss I have faced was when my club volleyball team lost every match we played during our season. We worked hard and trained hard but failed to perform well come game time. Yet I ended every tournament with a smile on my face. Although the score sheets show we lost, mostly due to self errors which is the most difficult part to deal with, I was still beyond happy to be able to have the experience of playing club volleyball along with traveling to different parts of the region. The best way to move past a defeat is to put yourself in the right mindset to understand that you cannot control the outcome of all situations you’re put into. If you had that control then your life would be boring and you’d have nothing to build your character.
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In the article it mentions that US marathon runners only have one chance to get to the olympics. One race makes or breaks their career. One of the many things that makes losses beneficial to life is getting to try again after you learn what you did wrong. These runners are not getting another chance to prove themselves!
Losing is something important that you have to experience in order to grow. It’s disappointing but necessary. I’ve lost a lot in my life but I’ve also won many times! Yes losses can be devastating but they are for your own good and you should focus more on the wins more than the losses.
Life is full of losses, sometimes even more than wins. I have experienced many losses and some of them have affected me deeply and some just a minor inconveniences, overall I have learned from them. I take losses as something I can learn from than rather it slowing me down or putting my life on hold.
For example when I was playing basketball, my team and I made it to the championship . In the championship game we were playing our rival team. We ended fighting really hard and losing. Instead of getting upset when we lost we congratulated the other team and later talked about how would improve our game and what we could learn from losing. We did not let that loss effect our team.
@Hannah Krier I'm sorry to hear about your basketball team losing the championship game to your rival team. Anyone who has played a sport before knows it's one of the worst feelings to go so far, to be so close to victory, and end up short of the win. It sucks to lose, and there is really no other way to put it. It seems we face more losses than wins in our lives, but isn’t that why a victory feels so great?
Even though nobody wants to lose, it’s those losses that shape who we are as people, not our wins. How we handle a loss and the decisions we make will define who we are as a person. A majority of people will choose to quit when things get too hard, give up when they are pushed to their limits, and that’s fine to them. Most people will accept their defeat, but by doing so they have been defeated twice. Those who become extremely successful never let their loss define them, but rather use it as a stepping stone to success.
I really liked how your team used your loss as an opportunity to grow. Every defeat gives us a chance to learn and develop, and hopefully become better and stronger people. Your defeat gave you an opportunity to see the flaws in your basketball team, or simply what you did wrong in that one game. Whatever the reason may be, your loss became a chance to grow as a team and as a player and hopefully next year you can win the championship game.
I’ve experienced many losses in my life, and many of those quite serious losses. However, I do not try to dwell on them. While it does hurt to lose of course, I never let that pain stay for long. I try to use losing as a way to learn what I need to improve on and as motivation. If one is constantly winning all the time nothing is there to motivate them to keep going, there is no revival they’re trying desperately to beat, because they beat them all the time. Furthermore, losing provides good feedback on how you’re doing, it shows what your competitors are doing and how they are doing that thing better than you. It gives you specific things to work on which can be hard to point out if you don’t see someone doing better. Of course it will always suck to lose—especially on something extremely important—we need to make the best out of it and use it as a learning experience and as motivation to be better.
Being an athlete, it definitely isn’t easy losing to another athlete or team. I was part of the basketball team in middle school and while we did have our wins, we also had losses. It sucks to be on the losing side of things but it can also be something that teaches us a lesson. In order to be successful, you need to fail. Otherwise you’ll never know what it’s like to feel accomplished with your successes. I’m now a part of the track team in high school, and while it is an entirely different sport, both sports teach you that it’s okay to make mistakes, you just need to be able to learn from them and improve so the next time you get out their and compete, you’ll shoot the winning shot or run a second faster.
@Umaimah Syed, I definitely agree with your point about losing. It sucks in the moment, especially when you've worked so hard, but it ultimately helps you more than many wins. Thomas Edison said, “Negative results are just what I want. They’re just as valuable to me as positive results. I can never find the thing that does the job best until I find the ones that don’t.” If we didn't lose sometimes, we wouldn't be able to learn how to succeed and be at our best.
This is a good time to remain optimistic, as well. We can't afford to be too hard on ourselves when we lose. So long as you gave your all and are willing to learn from the experience (or who knows? Maybe you had an enjoyable experience just participating anyway), it's not truly a complete loss.
Losing. It’s not fun is it?
I remember the feeling. We were at the World Championship. My team’s name flashed in lights after making it all the way to the semifinals in our bracket. I remember what it took to get all the way up there. I was standing there, watching and cheering until my vocal cords gave out. Then it went black. Emptiness. My throat closed up. My whole body tightened. Something is wrong. We’re not moving. It’s over. We’re out. The lights turned off. I’m down. I sat down and buried my face into my hands, and it was silent. The other team erupted in celebration. Good for them… the announcer started paying a tribute to our team, but it was just a nicer way of saying “goodbye, you’re out.” But, not too long ago, I knew what it felt like to be them too. We won the whole competition, strutting down the aisle with a giant blue banner, the only thing a team could ever want, and we had it!! In our hands, we held the symbol of victory. It was their turn to be victorious. I got up and I started clapping. The cheers poured out of me again, and in that moment, I learned a very valuable lesson. And, that same lesson is what those athletes felt after being rejected from the Olympics. They know the feeling of losing like the back of their hands. They trained and worked as hard as they could, but that was it. They got back up, and that’s how they’re going to win the next time around. Everybody loses, but some take the loss, and some let it bury them. It’s your choice.
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@Shivani Patel, It is so sad that you lost after all of the hard work you spent during the season to get to the World Championship. All of the long nights and laborious work seemed worthless as the rival team knocked y'all out in the semifinals. I can tell you were left mentally and physically reeling as the other team trumped yours. All athletes and mathletes can relate to the unexplainable pain that you experienced. It hurts us all and the wounds only heal with time.
However, it appears to me like you have gained more from losing the competition more than you would have if your team had won it. You learned the struggle of sports and competition in the real world. Life is one massive competition where only a few can win. You won't be able to win everything in life so it is best not to dwell on your defeats. Instead, cherish your commitment to the crafts you pursue and the small victories you experience on the way.
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@Shivani Patel
Wow I actually got sucked in by your storytelling. I loved how you expressed exactly how you were feeling in the moment. Comparing your experience with Liden and Korir’s, you’re right, they’re very similar. You were at the stage right before the finals. They were competing to enter the Olympic finals. But both of you couldn’t get what you came for. I’m so glad that you decided to be a good sport and not storm off the stage like Korir did though. It shows a lot about your character.
Like you worked tirelessly, both Linden and Korir trained their lives away yearning for a spot in the Olympics. By losing, they’ll have to wait another four years of training, and then, what if that’s not enough? What if they’re not enough? At 36, Des Linden shouldn’t have been doubting herself. She worked for years and needed to channel all her willpower to win a spot in the Olympics, but she doubted her capability and lost because of it. What the article didn’t mention though, was that Linden has already competed in the Olympics, just like you said you had been at your competition before. That’s why I think she was such a good sport about the whole situation, like you were. Both of you had already tasted victory and felt that it was alright for others to get a taste for it too. Korir on the other hand hadn’t. He had everything he needed to win and still lost with only 3 seconds. I get why he wouldn’t want to speak, but that still doesn’t make it okay to be a bad sport.
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Sometimes I feel like people take losing too seriously and at times they don’t realize it could be just as good as winning. When you lose this allows you ample to time to recollect your thoughts and see where you went wrong or where you made a mistake. Not only does this make you more conscious of the mistakes you’ve made, but it also allows you to reflect on how you can fix them for the next time. Doing this can ensure you progress and good results. Even though it might not ensure a win for the next time, reflecting on your loss sure will allow you to get closer to a win for the next time.
@Nico Spadavecchia
I agree that losing can facilitate personal growth, but it can also be discouraging. If someone hits a losing streak and nothing they do really helps to end it, they’ll eventually stop trying if they don’t start winning. Some people think that if you just work hard and do your best, you’ll progress and overtake those around you, but everyone is trying to do that, and some people’s best is just a little better than others’. Losing hurts, and when it happens over and over again, it’s like being told over and over again that you aren’t good enough, and some people will start to believe it.
I’ve definitely experienced a lot of devastating losses in my life, whether it be from sports, school, or even sometimes in video games. I usually am able to move on from losses, as I believe one loss won’t completely change my life, but even though I can get past some of my losses, most of the times I just can’t. This usually happens when I am very passionate about something, and so losing really hurts. I end up getting very angry and upset because I just don’t want to accept that I lost. As I have gotten older though, I’ve started to be less angry about losing, and have instead started to work on improving on why I lost.