how about building homes for humans that don't start falling apart within a decade? i have watched some real trash lumber getting put into houses built in my area. personally, we had to replace all the windows in a 25-year-old house but can't afford to do the doors until we pay that off. as for those 3 and 4 inch tile counters, the people who thought that was a good idea should be flogged daily. how do you keep them clean as the grout falls apart just from being looked at?
5
Why does the Times continue to encourage folks to work on their balance by standing on one foot while brushing their teeth? The bathroom is full of hard porcelain and tile - the last place you want to challenge your balance. A fall there can be devastating. Don't to it.
8
@Ms D respect for the Tiny Habits researcher, but why would anybody want to do push-ups in the toilets?
So many of these comments are humble brags! Still a very neat article.
3
For me motivation is key here. I find that having a reason to do things motivates me. I try my best to exercise, eat well, read to train my brain because I want to stay healthy for my kids. I am 78 and don't want to be in a nursing home or have to have my children be my caretaker. I had a really hard time stopping smoking even after breast cancer. Then one night, as I smoked my one cigarette of the day, my daughter who was in bed said "Mom are you smoking?" I thought to myself, "How can you do this to your kid after she watched you go through surgery and radiation?" I haven't smoked since.
The "why" is everything for me.
8
What I have learned is that you can't wait for motivation to strike. Healthy habits, especially exercise, need to be part of a routine. I attend a HIIT class 2x/week because my schedule says that is what I do, just like my schedule says I go to work, or go to the dentist on a certain day. Even if I have to "force" myself to go, I have never once come out of a workout feeling worse than I did going in.
5
Most all of my adult life I have exercised. I was an avid runner for many years and then took up swimming laps when I had access to a pool. Even after the effects of an inherited neuropathy I have kept at it. Several years ago I joined a new gym and took up weight lifting and just a few months before the pandemic I was bench pressing the greatest weight in my entire life at at 62. With the gym reopening again now, I will resume. My life feels incomplete without exercise.
4
Having exercised regularly for more than 40 years, I can vouch for many of these tips, to which I would add, have a variety of motivations to spur yourself on. One day it could be bathing suit season around the corner. Another day it could be a determination to be strong going into old age. Another day it could be that what’s good for your body is good for your brain. Whatever you gotta tell yourself to get moving.
5
The standing seven-minute workout looks doable for me (I’m 70), but how does one time oneself without a big clock or timepiece?
I swim laps but am always disappointed in the amount I swim. I began with three, then wouldn’t let myself stop until I got to six. Last summer I was swimming more due to covid and was able to increase my minimum laps to 10 without feeling pressured. Recently, I bought an Apple Watch and I am able to track my laps on the Pool Swim activity setting. Now I track my laps by the amount of time I swim, rather than by the number of laps, which has helped me to relax more about my workout. All of the stats of my workout are recorded, which is encouraging, even though I don’t concentrate on my speed. I’m not constantly worrying about doing too much or too little as long as I get in the length of workout I plan for myself to close my watch’s activity ring (one day I swam 9, another day, 12). I imagine I will increase my activity length by small increments, but there’s something about increasing minutes, not number of laps, which appeals to me more.
This is more a reframing of my workout, but I am developing new, beneficial habits at the same time.
3
"How to Build Healthy Habits". Um, put the phone down, get AFK?
I find stacking to be the most effective when building habits. I'm doing "this" so why not do "that' right after? Or to put it another way: since I'm already doing "that", why not do "this" too?
6
@sjs
The way you've defined it, I'll remember 'stacking'. Thanks!
1
Great tips, and some great tips in the comments too. Thanks all!
7
I started learning Spanish using the Duolingo app. I had decided I was spending too much time surfing the net in the mornings so wanted to do something more constructive. It's set up like a game -- you get rewards along the way.
After six months of anywhere from 2 minutes to a half hour or more a day I've learned a lot! I do 2 minutes when I really don't have time/want to do it and other days I happily keep building my points. I'm not a person who is that good about sticking with things, but for some reason I've been able to do it with this. Maybe it has to do with drinking my tea at the same time.
13
@a commenter I do Duolingo as well, for more than two years, and as many apps they are pretty good with immediate rewards, reminders, and gentle humorous punishments. They know our psychology too!
Try planking. I worked my way up from a painful 30 seconds to 30 minutes by taking the task in "chunks" (a technical term): several 3-minute planks a day to great music that I found motivating, then ganging those 3-minute planks into one 10-minute plank, and so on.
You can plank anywhere! No gym, no "outfit," no equipment, nothing but me, myself, and I.
The results have been nothing short of amazing. At 62, I'm back to high school weight. During covid, I went from a size 12 to a size...wait for it...six. My abs are there (!), my arms are toned, and I feel terrific. Lordy, do I feel terrific.
Planks. Simple. Hard, but in a good way. And effective.
Put on some music that makes you feel young, and give planking a try.
31
I always found running outside boring and unappealing if it was rainy or cold or hot. When I joined a gym, I realized I could watch CNN or a classic movie on TCM while walking or jogging, and I found I can go for an hour or more. Not to mention being comfortable inside. Made such a difference for me. And when I'm already at the gym anyway, I can do my routine and check which classes I might join while there, whether pilates, yoga, barbells or stretching. I always feel better after.
4
As someone who lost both parents before I hit 25 and spend my entire youth taking care of an alcoholic, bipolar, narcissistic cancer patient of a mother I want to commend the parents on here. I have read several comments of how they take care of themselves for their children and how lucky their children are. I think it’s amazing in light of everything we are going through that at least this conversation about health has been elevated and given a platform that just wasn’t here in the 90’s and 2000’s.
Mind body connection, self care, boundaries, health as a responsibility were not concepts (they were considered “woo-woo” in Texas where I am from). I guess in the face all the hate and ignorance I am looking for some progress and light and I’ll take it where I can! This is inspiring.
40
your grace and strength are inspiring :)
4
This was a good article to read! I’m gonna do the 28 days habit challenge.
5
Tiny workouts don’t really work for me. I like to do things that are intense enough to trigger an endorphin rush. After a while, I just NEED to exercise and I don’t feel well if i don’t. Therefore, I can ride beginner’s enthusiasm to get started and use the endorphin addiction to bypass the whole motivation/ willpower thing entirely. It just becomes something I do. After a period of relative inactivity, I’m getting back into the swing of things again and it is starting to feel good again.
5
@Lynne Richard Tiny habits only work for me if I keep stacking them up, building momentum and tracking them, which is satisfying.
2
Hey NYT! How could My Well Minute isn't enabled on Alexa in Canada? We get the other daily NYT briefings and this is one we're really interested in listening to!!
We all know that making a behavioral change is hard, but there are tools to help to make a change like the Habinator app. Progress Tracking, motivation, consistency and peer support, and all other small things support the change. You will also need these little things exactly when the motivation is NOT there at the moment.
3
I found the squats-while-brushing tip the greatest takeaway from the comments. It has transformed my dental hygiene practice (making toothbrushing, a dreary chore, rather weirdly fun or perhaps just more rewarding now)--and I can already feel the increased strength in my legs. This newfound strength, so easily acquired, then inspired me to add a few other exercises to my morning regimen (that heretofore included no exercise).
Combined with the tip of another commenter--the second greatest takeaway of the comments section--who said that mornings were the only part of his life he could control, I had a full epiphany and now exercise 20-30 minutes each morning.
What works for some of us, doesn't work for all, I guess. But one small step (or 20 squats) easily incorporated really made a significant difference, as the author of this article underscores. I've already lost a few pounds, am sleeping better, and feel better overall. Thank you, Tara Parker-Pope!
20
Every time I run, which is most everyday, I don't want to run. It is the last thing I want to do. Especially in rainy BC. But I tell myself, "Oh, just go out for 1km. Just a little is all you need to do." And so I run 1km, and then say to myself, "Well, how about 1 more km?" And I do another km. At this point, I just keep running the trails for about an hour. Every run is the same: I don't want to do it, tell myself to do just a little and then return home about an hour later.
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Your comment resonated with me. I have been going to Tai Chi classes every Tuesday and was debating with myself whether to go or not today. I will go and do my best - I really do enjoy the class but was feeling unmotivated today...... Actually, I haven’t missed a class since starting on the program.
11
@Mary sometimes it's a little hard to do these things when you are unmotivated, and it might be a great idea to try and make the time before you go to the class by looking around in nature and or talking with people in the class a little more often. I hope this helps, I use it a lot, have a great day!
4
This is exactly how I go about it too haha. I almost never feel like running and I always trick myself into it by doing exactly what you do, just go for a 1K and if it doesn’t get better just walk home, I tell myself. It usually feels better after the first 2 K and I thank myself for not giving in to how I felt before my run.
4
Will power..or lack of it...is my downfall.
If I lost a pound for every diet book or self-help article I’ve read, I’d be invisible.
Going to try the book on cognitive behavior that another commenter recommended. Fingers crossed.....
13
@Cheryl I've been doing The Whole Life Challenge which is a 6 week game-afied challenge to work on 7 habits. I was and can be in the same boat, but this has really worked for me! It makes it fun and switches things up. Doing it with an online team gives me positive accountability!
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@Cheryl read Tiny Habits, it says it’s not about willpower, it’s about getting the motivation, ability and prompt right. Adjusting one of these can make the difference.
3
@Cheryl
What book is it you plan to read? I have motivation problems as well...
2
Is it really this hard for people to put in the small effort necessary to live a healthier life? Are people really so weak-willed that they can't step away from processed snacks or move around?
Sleeping in one's workout clothes, slowing down elevators and all these other tricks seem ridiculous, but so does spending billions on weight loss schemes, year after year after year.
Either take care of yourself or don't.
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@Randy
While part of me shares your sentiment, others might need to hack their brain. Maybe they don’t enjoy physical activity as much as we do, maybe they’re busier or have a more fatiguing profession. Whatever it is, if it helps I’m for it.
15
@Randy Actually, there are a fair number of people who are not what is called "neurotypical" and thus they do not receive the rewarding shot of dopamine their body sends them every time they complete some banal task like exercising or doing their dishes. This makes these dull, often downright unpleasant tasks even more challenging. So before you strain a muscle patting yourself on your back for being a gym rat, do know that we are all different and for some of us, it's far easier to grasp and embrace such concepts of humanism than it is for others. You're either generous and compassionate and capacious of mind, or you're not, I guess.
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@Randy sometimes it hard to remember things if u have memory loss so sometimes making small habits are necessary to live. it is like the debate on cats or dogs. everyone has an opinion and most have to deal with it harshly. sometimes it's not fun and games. and it's not about taking care of yourself al the time.
5
Exerting willpower contains the sharp and shaming possibility of defeat, while the triumph of the will forever suffers from bad press thanks to Leni Riefenstahl and all varieties of authoritarian impulse.
But... in willpower is also the thrill and exuberance of energy focused and celebrated, limits surpassed, the shock of success.
7
@Kozloff your right, But you need to lose if u want to know how to win. You never really lose until u give up.
1
I agree with the many readers whose experience tells them that willpower is not to be written off so quickly. We must understand that willpower is just another muscle that needs to be developed and not something certain people are luckily endowed with. It is a mechanism that we invest in and profit from and then take possession of and then feel we "own" it. Just the same as any other ability we choose to develop, whether it be running a marathon, jumping rope, taking an evening stroll or meditating regularly.
10
The article is all about adding in a desirable habit. But what about eliminating a harmful one? How do you build the habit of not eating sweets, or not staying up too late, or not drinking?
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@David Szmyd It's generally easier to replace a habit that's firmly a part of our routines, than it is to "break" it. We're creatures of habit, so it's easier to adjust the routines we're already like and that fit into our lives.
Replace sweets with fruit or sugarfree gum. If you're staying up late to watch television or scroll through social media, replace those habits by reading a book (a physical one) before bed. Enjoy nights out with friends, but replace your wine or beer with seltzer.
It's also helpful to focus on one change at a time, rather than overwhelming your willpower with an entire lifestyle overhaul.
Good luck!
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@David Szmyd to break a harmful one I follow some variation of the 80/20 rule (where the majority of the time, I do what adds value to my life, but still leave room for the stuff that doesn't)
So 2 days out of every 7, I eat something off my nutrition plan (like a big plate of nachos or cheese-stuffed naan), but most of the time (5 days out of 7) I follow the plan
This gets me results towards my goals (in this case nutrition) while still leaving room for being a human and doing whatever feels best in the moment sometimes
TLDR; aim for the 80/20 rule
13
I tell myself I certainly can have that bowl of ice cream but first I must eat an apple, drink a cup of water and wait 15 minutes.
12
Tried and true... S.M.A.R.T. Goals...
Specific (action, task)
Measurable (time spent, distance, weight)
Achievable (will I really stick to this even on my worst day?)
Relevant (Does this really matter to me?)
Time-bound (Daily, Weekly, Monthly)
14
Don't forget to laugh, spend times with friends and younger people, and just get out there and be social. Join a walking or running club to combine these healthy activities. An active social life has been proven fairly critical to good health overall. Getting healthy can and should also be enjoyable!
7
I have to agree with the folks here who recognize the value of willpower. After tens of thousands of trips to the gym I still don't like it. But I do it. Willpower carried me through two hip replacements, and back to the gym. Willpower got me through open heart surgery, and back to the gym. I'm about to get up and go again. Not by tempting myself, and not for a reward, but because I promised myself I would do it and I WILL do it.
"To thine own self be true."
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@Anonymous Bosch Nice thought. Here for me is an even bigger one that the author has not explored. You cannot have good Will power without Great WHY power.
You went to the gym...like me, dead boring...for over two years because of your several health scares. They are Big Whys. I went because i felt bloated and plain overweight after several years. And I stuck to twice a week boring gym for nearly 3 years...didn't lose much weight but did I feel better ? Sure ! And I am still going. :)
7
@SpiroR I'm glad you are doing better and this is a great point you bring up. I'm really grateful for the people in my family that have helped me through my mental problems and they are my why power. I hope everyone gets better one day because if u can go on your a lot stronger then you think. I hope u all have a great day!
1
@Anonymous Bosch Success is 50% knowledge and 50% effort. You have to know what to do, and then do it. All the games and tricks and tiny habits really do add up, and help, but at the end of the day that's what drives the results. As you have stated here. You really are the winner.
The key is to find an activity that is truly enjoyable to that person. Without enjoyment there is no sustainability in any well-intentioned habits. I swim all the time, do yoga, and eat well be because I actually truly enjoy those activities. I make time for them...
8
@Jason Yep Jason..enjoyment ideal. But heavy research study where you feel like you are in a jungle with no daylight has no immediate rewards (think Lord of the Rings). So, we go on 'faith' reward... the 'heroes' journey...where your outcome may be...failure. But the journey was worth going on...pursuing revelation knowledge.
@Jason Here's the problem: Absolutely everything I "have" to do, ie am scheduled for, etcetera, becomes a horrible, avoidable miserable chore. Even if it's something I completely "enjoy." For me, it's always down to willpower.
Years ago, I found in a "free box" on the curb a book called "Cognitive Behavioral Workbook for Depression" by Edward Knauss. The chapter on procrastination alone changed my life and I can change any habit I want quite easily. I never miss a workout day or cheat on my "diet". But I never feel like I'm exercising or giving up something I want.
I think every American would benefit reading it whether you are the slightest bit depressed or not. Our library carries a copy and yours might as well.
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@tom harrison
Thanks for this book rec! I see my library has it.
Just FYI for anyone looking, the authors are William Knaus and Albert Ellis. :)
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@Anastasia V thank you for telling me the authors I might go look for it.
have a great day!
While process and education are important, the number one issue is will power. I disagree with you.
After all is said and done, in the end, if you wanna do something you are gonna do it and if not you will not do it.
You can go on a million diets, do everything you say but if deep down you really don't want to do it, you won't,
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@Paul Thanks... and here is your evidence. After 50 years of people nagging doctors to help them find methods to stop smoking, the experts have found the best method ...in 75% of cases... is will power alone. This is very telling.
1
@SpiroR Thank you for your reply. Again tried and true research on what is bad for you, not knee jerk quacks or even the medical industry pushing useless things on you and support is needed but in the end its will power.
1
My observation is that the best deterrent to smoking is the rising cost, in Rhode Island the cost for a single pack of cigarettes is $10. I remember when people smoked 2-3 packs a day.
The first claim of this article makes absolute sense to me, that adding in new small activities to an already formatted schedule (like in the morning) can make it easier to jump on a new larger habit. I totally agree with this because for me personally, the morning is the only thing that is the same about my days. Juggling fluctuating homework loads, extra curriculares, sports, diet, exercise, and work tends to leave me with quite unpredictable nights after school. When I decided I need to work out not only when I have time, but every day, I realized that the one portion of my day where I know what I have going on and I know what times I need to leave exactly, made it easier for me to just wake up an hour earlier to complete my workout, and continue with my normal morning habits.
5
I do a 1/2 hour of yoga 6 mornings a week. It makes me feel great the rest of the day.
5
@Maryann I'm glad u found something that works for you! doing things that make you happy is one of life's greatest surprises!
1
As the saying goes, your body wants to do what it did last. If you are a couch potato who sits all night eating chips and watching TV your body will not be happy when you try to stop. If you have a regular exercise routing (mine includes heavy weight training even at my advanced age) your body will not be happy if you do not engage in the exercise. Just get started. Continuation will happen by itself.
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@Disillusioned Ah ha!! Now I know why my husband and I at our "advanced" ages get up before the sun in the winter so that we can shovel the snow and get out to the gym. Apparently our bodies are not happy missing their weight training and cardio workouts.
5
@Disillusioned I agree with this, with the exception that my body likes to mix it up - weights at the gym, walking, swimming, hiking on successive days. It's funny that my body seems to know it's a swimming day or a weights day. If I don't feel like doing that thing scheduled because I'm extra tired from a late night, I choose something else to shake things up (often walking is easiest, if outdoors). I've never felt better since I quit being such a drill sargent and made it a smorgasbord that allows different muscles to rest.
2
Seeking any suggestions on how to help my husband from stopping for fast food on his way home from work. He has tried many strategies, but all have failed. Our next to try is having him leave his credit cards at work. This, however, carries risk - what if he needs gas or, as a diabetic, something with glucose? Thank you.
1
@Barbara He could take a "take home" snack to work every day, so he'd have something to quell the hunger right after work. If it isn't appetizing, it won't work, though, so it has to be something he likes that isn't as bad for his health as fast food.
5
That was last month's experiment, but we were not successful, though it could be I failed in the "appetizing" aspect of the attempt. He is leaving his cash and credit cards at work now. Day one of this protocol: success! | But please know that I am indebted to you for your reply and may try your suggestion again if the current one fails, which it may! Thank you.
1
@Barbara does your hubby eat a satisfying lunch? I try to get in both a workout and lunch after on the go or at my desk to include fruit. veggies, & protein. That holds me till dinner at 7.
Why would anyone take advice from someone who wears
their running clothes to bed? After a workout the benefit is not
is not only to my heart and muscles but to strengthen my will and
discipline.
Willpower gets such a knock these days, yet it's helped me kick some frustrating bad habits. I'm going to have to count on willpower during my upcoming orthodontia treatments, where I can only eat, or drink anything hot, during the mere 2 hours I'm not wearing trays. "Small Habits," alone, won't make the cut.
4
Stacking habits is such a simple, but doable commitment. I rarely watch tv programs in real-time, but if I do, I do a variety of simple exercises anytime commercials are aired to make up for sitting passively during the program.
4
My mantra: one minute of exercise is better than zero minutes.
Also, get a dog! I have to walk/jog our (beloved) dog day three times a day. Including this morning when it was 6 below. He's a very demanding personal trainer.
35
At age 83, I have been pumping iron, walking dogs, and doing stand up squats while I wait for the microwave to finish. My life comes down to how I can organize any activity into an exercise, such as wiggling ones toes while typing at the computer. It all boils down to MOVE.
165
@Jim Dwyer At age 93 I follow you in less degree but always with spontaneity. In addition to the physical I try to stir my mentality by playing with words that make me grin. At least grin with glee.
21
May I just say this, and I will only say it once, though I expect more similar comments are included here. | I, and I expect most others in my situation, applaud everyone who undertakes to remain physically active as much as possible as long as possible. Some persons, however, were never afforded the full extent of this privilege, having become ill with orthopedic diseases or other physically-impairing llnesses at a early age. For many of us, these orthopedic insults or other illnesses have continued from that early age to whatever age we have been able to achieve. So again, while I applaud anyone who strives to maintain a high degree of physical activity, I do beg that the role that genes play not always be completely disregarded. | And, yes, I freely admit to jealousy of those physically well enough to achieve levels of nearly constant activity in their later years. Who would not be? But please do not fall into the trap of assuming that what works for you would work for everyone and, from that position, feel it is incumbent upon you to instruct the rest of us on how to proceed. Thank you.
14
@Barbara Really? Pretty sure the article was not an instruction but an informative conversation. What you take or not take is entirely up to you.
5
I think the key is to combine the exercise with a pleasurable habit, not another chore. I listen to podcasts when I go for walks, read on the floor in alternating yoga stretches, watch tv from my spin bike, and do crunches in my nightly bubble bath. And anytime I need to pick something up from down low, I squat instead of bending over. My 100-year-old grandmother drilled that last one into me: “Stooping is bad for your back!”
16
@Amanda Would love to exercise with your grandmother.
6
As someone who in the last 3 years has went from being a slob to being organized and lost 75 pounds, the brutal truth is that in many cases willpower is really the strongest factor, especially with keeping weight off. You have to make a new decision every day to not overeat if you, like me, were always a healthy eater. It was certainly easier to form a good habit about being more organized. Hanging up clothes, disposing of unwanted mail and papers right away do become habit. But while eating better types of foods may be based on habit, portion control is brute willpower every time (at least for me).
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@AJ - I beat the whole portion thing years ago with one simple trick when I started to put on a few pounds. I switched from a dinner plate to a salad plate. I would pile the salad plate as high as I could with anything I wanted and chow it down. Then, I set a timer for 15 minutes and when it went off, back to the kitchen as many times as I wanted to as long as there was 15 minutes in between.
After 2 weeks I noticed that a lost a few pounds yet never, ever wished I could have more.
Throughout childhood, my abusive mother would slap my face at the dinner table mocking me for eating slowly while she and my brother could wolf down two monstrous plates in less time than a dog. I went back to that method of eating slower and giving my body a chance to use its incredibly ancient communication system (not 5G) to send the signal that I had enough.
Today, my brother alway wears a very large button-down shirt untucked to hide his rather large gut. Me? I always wear form fitting t-shirts to show that there is nothing to hide.
The only downside is that I can't go to someone's house for dinner. Everyone else in the room has wolfed down two plates while I'm only half a plate through. They always think I hate the cooking and offer to make something else while I'm in total heaven with the dish. So, I eat alone slowly but as much as I ever want.
8
I would like an article on how best to recover from exercise. I do yoga daily and recently took up Tai Chi.
I wake up in the early morning, achy. I use a foam roller to loosen the muscles but am still compelled to take an Advil before bedtime so I can have a good night’s sleep.
4
@Mary
When you first start any exercise habit, the sleep the day of the exercise is usually bad. Plan to sleep the day after and over time your body will adjust and will start sleeping wonderfully. Sadly it takes about 3 months. If you are doing yoga, unless it is the early sun salutations maybe, you must do savasana or corpse pose. I know, I know, but you will notice a difference in your sleep when you add the corpse pose. It should be at least 3 to 5 minutes long.
Don’t give up! The beginnings of these things are really the hard part; once you’ve overcome that, you will be very please with the results.
4
@Morgan You shouldn't have to suffer that kind of discomfort. There have been many articles in the NYT about the hazards of stretching, and yoga in particular. I gave up yoga years ago because I found the Feldenkrais Method so effective in helping with my autoimmune form of arthritis. Jane Brody wrote an article about it in this publication about a year ago. And trying to "roll out" muscles is next to useless. Find a good teacher and either do private sessions or go to class regularly. You won't be disappointed.
7
@Mary REST it is not a bad word, depending on your age you may need more time to recover than you imagine. The body (muscles, circulation etc) build itself during rest, exercise is only the stimulus.
Very your routine, don't be obsessive, there is life beyond exercise.
7
A good habit I been doing for 4 decades is to always park my vehicle far away in the lot from the stores where I shop. (And I also frequently take at least 20-30 minutes to walk around the parking and shopping area afterwards). This way you also don't have to bother with most people vying to get to the nearest parking spot close to the store, which I always view with sociological amusement. And it's easy to find your vehicle. If not the lot, then a walk around my neighborhood upon returning home from any shopping or errand. It becomes a habit within a few months And I never use elevators unless 4 or more floors.
25
@Robert Gween an amusing observation regarding this great idea is to watch the outside parking lot of a health club or gym. For some reason, people circle and circle in their cars looking for the closest parking spot, so that they don't have to walk very far before getting on the treadmill!
27
Ridiculous creatures of nonsense habits and conformities is how an alien would see much of the activities in our human zoo.
6
@Robert Gween
I do that too. I find it dangerous to get between another driver and the parking space he wants.
2
Because of an illness 3 years ago I lost a substantial amount of weight. I decided to work on maintaining my new healthier weight. I now eat more fruits and veggies each day and every morning at some point I plan what I may have for lunch in relation to what I will be having for dinner balancing nutrition and calories. This helps me maintain my current weight and just has me THINKING about the food I’m putting into my body instead of eating without even thinking about it.
25
I read recently that strong fear of exercise can be related to childhood trauma. Why do some people love to be physically active and others hate it? A big mystery.
8
@Kathleen - Hard to say. The very first time I ever rode a bike without training wheels, I rode out into traffic and got hit by a utility truck. I ended up with 9 stitches in my forehead, a violently angry mother, and no memory of the crash or the ER. Today, my bike is my car. I got rid of the car a decade ago. Go figure.
6
@tom harrison Great story and glad to hear you kept at it!
2
@Kathleen I don't have a strong fear of exercise, more like anyone watching me while I exercise. The childhood trauma was a ballet teacher. According to her, I did nothing right. She may have been right; I had never seen a ballet and had no idea what I was supposed to be striving for.
4
If my 27 years as a trainer has taught me one thing, it's that I can't help anyone change their body without first changing their minds. Habits seem to cluster around attitudes, belief systems, and self-talk. It always comes back to small shifts in mental messaging.
One helpful technique for improving muscle function and mobility is called "Greasing the Groove," coined by Russian fitness master, Pavel Tatsouline. The idea: doing, say, five squats every hour each day beats doing two sets of 20 in one bout. It's believed to help "grease the neurological grooves," improving strength and the mind-body connection over time. Slow and steady...
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Eat less Exercise daily. Do not complain.
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@NOTATE REDMOND this comment is actually a complaint.
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@NOTATE REDMOND
THE BEST ADVICE. SHORT AND NICE.
Eat less Exercise daily. Do not complain.
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The old advice from rural Vermont: "Like a beagle scentin ' rabbits, point your nose toward cleanly habits".
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I’m not sure that starting small is effective for everyone and in every situation. My experience is that stopping is easier when one has not too much invested yet.
Years ago, I began small with a whole-foods, plant-based diet, but never really progressed too well. I had to go cold turkey too get it done.
Becoming a non-smoker also worked for me only by going cold turkey. Starting small with gum, patches, smoke-free hours always failed. (I know that it’s different with addiction to a substance.)
Four months ago, I developed hip bursitis and had to break a lifelong habit as a side-sleeper - right away. That’s a really hard one!
Breaking old habits by starting new ones works when the situation is urgent.
If it’s health related, perhaps we have to create the sense of urgency about future consequences. If it’s not urgent/necessary, how important is it?
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@CJay Creating new habits is a different behavioral mechanism than breaking old ones.
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@LMB True enough, but we replace the old with new ones.
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I'm delighted to see all these voices for positive change highlighted in a way that can truly help people. Tara's combined the work of many for the good of all --well at least those of us who are looking to fine-tune our lives a bit further.
Tiny Habits has helped me personally. At 35, I'm leaner and stronger (ahem, even 1 year post-partum) than I was when I was 18. Maybe more importantly: I know how to make the changes I want in my life without all the guilt and putting myself down.
...excited to try My Well Minute!
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Avoiding surgery and staying healthy as i age was my motivation for changing diet and exercise habits. I had gallstones and did not want the surgery — both sisters had had it and had continued problems afterward. I began cutting down starchy food, meats, and sweets, and focusing on eating more veggies. Gallbladder problems went away (at least no symptoms) and I lost weight. Eventually I found the Nutritarian eating plan and lost more weight. For me, this plan is easy and a lifestyle, as I love veggies and have gradually lost my taste for sweets. Nothing is off limits, I just choose to eat better because I feel better. Exercise, I have always walked on a gym treadmill and have three days a week that are my gym days. Recently I signed up for a yoga class twice a week to improve my posture and strength. I love it! Over the last 2-3 years I have lost 80+ pounds.
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Several years ago Charles Duhigg came out with a book called The Power of Habit. He made a lot of money from it. Several other authors come to mind who have sold us their books on how to make small changes in our habits that will accumulate to big changes in our lives.
I'm skeptical. The ideas in books like these, and columns like this, are not bad ideas. But they just don't help. They don't work. The whole self-help industry is the same. People buy books. People click on stories. They try, and fail. And on to another book, another story. The cycle continues.
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@John Smithson - Interesting. I found a copy of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Depression by Dr. Edward Knauss on a curb one day and it changed my life. He had a great chapter about procrastination, why we do it, and ways to change it. It was super easy and I didn't have to chant or hug a tree or send good thoughts to Marianne Willamson or anything. One could probably find a copy at the library and peruse it.
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@John Smithson I'd like to respectfully note that your statement can really only apply to your own experience. These books don't work on *you*. I've had great success with them but then I am coach-able. Are you coach-able?
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@John Smithson Often people get stuck because they suffer from depression...sometimes very low-grade and they don't realize they are depressed....
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Is anyone else sick of native advertising? I don't Amazon anything.
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The only way to stay fit: don’t buy bigger clothes as you put on weight. It has worked for me. I have exercised everywhere: bathroom. Elevators. Kitchen. While watching tv. A few minutes here and there count.
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Loved reading all of the comments as much as I loved reading the article. Truth be told, I needed to hear all of it, article and comments. And also very refreshing to see overwhelmingly positive and supportive feedback.
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They missed the social aspect. I'm a Masters swimmer and it is my swimming friends that keep me honest. When I want to blow it off, I remember that they expect me there. And when I'm missing too much, they are there to push me along to make sure I'm swimming consistently. For me, there is a tremendous overlap between exercise and the social life I get as an adult.
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You are absolutely right and this why in my opinion fitness culture is a failure : there are no strong social connections in a « commercial » gym when you can come anytime
Old school sports clubs with scheduled lessons tend to create a community and social interactions
I am in a boxing club, we have the lessons a week, have a drink after practice twice year club diners, the wise men cake... a real social club : I met my husband there 20 years ago, we already celebrated 3 weddings, a few babies, strong friendships
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So true! My husband calls hikes "play dates for adults."
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@LexDad you hit on an excellent point. I am personally more of an introvert, but the one thing I would never want to do is "let my team down." I know walking daily is good for me, but for some reason I'm ok with disappointing myself from time-to-time. But I will never disappoint those counting on me. So for me, the social tie-in to all of this is a very strong motivational factor.
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My daily gym exercise is tied to a game I play -- I never ever get on a scale with one exception: A paid individual at my gym knows my weight, has it written in a notebook somewhere, but does not tell me. Every five weeks or so, I get on the scale and he makes a thumbs up (or thumbs down). I've never gotten thumbs down over the course of six months so I do not become fixated on a number. I just become pleased with my progress and it is motivating.
He knows what I weigh. I do not.
I'm also one of those incredibly fortunate people who fell in love with a gym at first sight (smile). I can hardly wait to get there!!
A very unpleasant medical experience led to weight gain over two years but once I pulled myself out of the funk I got cracking.
I am a very, very resolute person so once I make a decision for whatever reason I'm not deterred. I don't keep bargaining with myself every day about whether to eat salty food or fatty food or drink or go to the gym. I decide, then carry it out. Got too many other things to enjoy in life and cannot waste the time.
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@HotGumption, my late sister did something like that, her personal trainer wrote down (presumably ) the number from the scale , she was not allowed to because she would be focus on those numbers , according to the personal trainer. Then nothing happened when she put on clothes, didn’t feel loosen or tighten. She checked her weight herself somewhere else and she knew that all those thumbs up where lies .The point is you don’t need numbers from scale to know if you lose or gain weight: your clothes would tell you. You feel it right there when you get dressed.
She got fake thumbs ups!
I was never a committed exerciser until about 2 years ago, when I went through several big life changes and needed an escape. It also helped to have a routine and a mental challenge that kept me engaged and not thinking about any other personal challenges going on.
Part of what worked for me was seeing exercise as a fun experience and completely divorcing it from food, eating, or 'punishment' for overindulging. I don't count calories, and don't think about how many calories are burned when I workout.
It's a complete 180 for me -- just exercise, however much you can do and whatever you enjoy. Diet culture has really turned exercise into a horrible punishment, and I realized how fun and enjoyable it can be when you keep them separate. The ironic part is I also lost 20lbs when I stopped tying the two concepts (diet and exercise) together.
On a smaller scale, I also recently became a daily flosser. My commitment to that new habit was a lot easier -- I just leave floss containers all over. In my bag, on the bathroom sink, in my drawer at work. It's in sight, so it's in mind. Worked for me!
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Helpful article. My tips...
We have a treadmill in the house that I neglected forever. Now I’m on it daily. The trick - I picked a T.V. show to “binge watch” but only am allowed to watch while on the treadmill.
I also wear a fitbit and slowly but steadily increase my daily goal. Was 10,000, now 15,000... adding the treadmill, I hit the”impossible” 20,000 almost everyday. Don’t forget good walking shoes!
I pack lunch daily. It saves $ and calories. Our office kitchenette is full of goodies. Instead on trying to self-forbid that, I allow myself anything I want - after I eat everything I brought to work. I rarely finish all the fruit and chopped veggies I pack and discovered that was a very effective reminder that I didn’t “need” anything more to eat.
One last good trick is to ALWAYS read the calorie count before you reach for that snack food. You’d be surprised how often you can derationalize eating those little calorie bombs.
And finally, give yourself a break. Healthy and skinny are not synonymous. We’re all build differently. Being more accepting and healthfully respecting of yourself the way you are is the best health-habit of all.
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As it gets nicer outside, keep a set of weights on your porch or patio. While you're out enjoying the spring, you'll have them at your immediate access.
Associate the outdoors with your local farm market, after lifting--- head out for some fresh fruits and vegetables.
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Rewards are important.
When I started swimming, I saw a swimsuit I really wanted and was about to purchase it to start my new commitment. Instead, I told myself that when I got in the pool ten times for at least 1,000 yards, I would earn the suit. Fortunately, it was still available when I achieved my goal.
These kinds of rewards are powerful motivations and serve as medals at the finishing line do.
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Although doing squats while brushing your teeth sounds like a good way to get toothpaste all over yourself and the bathroom, I did begin standing on one foot while brushing (right at night, left in day) a few years ago to improve balance, and now can do two minutes with no problem. I swear that since adopting this habit, I’ve avoided some falls e.g. tree roots while out walking in the park and the dreaded lettuce leaf dropped on the floor of the produce department at the supermarket, and it has the added advantage of making sure I brush two minutes, which I’m sure I never did before-so win-win.
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@Susan Good for you - but really, it's very dangerous - the bathroom is a very bad place to lose your balance.
This will get negative comments from the health zealots but can we become human again, with all our faults, weaknesses, and normality? Everythng in moderation - wellness as well.
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@Benni
People who value their health to the penultimate are not, in my opinion, zealots. Most are people who want to remain more than functional; they want to always improve or maintain their well-being into older age to the degree that's humanly possible, and they do not want to accrue a host of drugs in late life rather than good habits. Poor health is not only hard on our bodies but costs a heck of a lot of money.
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@Benni
I agree with you. Too much emphasis on self improvement is socially isolating and benefits advertisers, not most people’s actual wellbeing. What about empathy, humor and connection? Of course it’s good to be healthy but everyone gets sick. After all it’s part of what makes us human. It certainly doesn’t make us bad people.
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I love the tips here - especially the story about the two friends in different states helping each other get moving through kindness and persistence. Two things: 1) I read that when we decide what to do, we are also deciding what we won't do. 2) When it comes to health, there is no such thing as stasis: if you're not getting healthier every day, you're getting slightly less healthy, every day.
Deciding to carry out a positive habit can be a win-win-win if it knocks out one that was harming you. You get the benefits of the new habit, the well-being that accrues from dropping the bad habit, and the knowledge that you are capable of helping yourself to change.
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Some things that have worked for me: Set micro goals that can be achieved every day, rather than bigger, long term goals. Then, just check every once in a while whether long term trends are in the right direction, and adjust the daily micro goals if needed. At the end of the day, list "what went well and why". It's all about finding out what works for you and building on success instead of beating yourself up. Also, for me, doing positive things is easier than trying not to do negative ones. So, I have a goal to eat at least 8 servings of non-starchy vegetables each day, and a serving of nuts, and lots of protein, maybe a serving of fresh fruit, and drink lots of tea and water. When I focus on that, it becomes much easier not to overeat, and to skip the sugar and starch most of the time.
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Before the day of "neighborhood" health clubs: as soon as I walked in, beeline for the bedroom and change into exercise togs. Allow no distractions. Before Nike "Just do it".
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"Packing your gym back and leaving it by the door is one example of this."
What is a gym back?
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@ejb gym bag
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@Miss Mare
I prefer gym back - the back up plan for avoiding the gym...
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@ejb My club offers free water aerobics five days a week. My goal is three. On those days I put on my swimming suit the moment I get up and put the stuff I need in the car before even having coffee. That way there's no turning back without undoing everything.
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Squats while brushing teeth? If we have to "stack" hygiene and exercise to do at the same time, rather than giving each our full attention, then there are indeed some questions of well-being to consider. Now, off to have a run in the shower . . .
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@Rose Liz
how very funny!
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Hinduism is the world’s oldest and largest religion. Here are the Top 10 Health and Fitness Habit Tips from Hinduism:
Achieve Balance in Health, Body, and Spirit Hindus strive to achieve balance throughout their lives using self-control, meditation, yoga, and a clean diet.
Structured Dietary Code – Followers believe that showing care for what you eat can save your body and mind. Food is believed to be the source of the body’s chemistry, which means Hindus believe that what you eat can affect your mood and thoughts.
Practice Yoga – In Hinduism, yoga is primarily spiritual. The physical aspect comes second, and is meant to be exercise in purification, allowing man to work toward achieving a higher spiritual and mental state.
Tulsi, or “Holy Basil” is widely used and revered in Hinduism due to its many medicinal and religious purposes.
In Hinduism, it is believed that the mind and body can be trained to resist and overcome cravings or harmful behaviors such as addiction.
Intermittent Fasting Fasting depend on a person’s caste, or social ranking, and is usually done during holy days, moon days, and during festivals.
Hindus believe that through meditation, we have the ability to evolve into higher beings through mental focus.
Karmic Belief – Karma is a facet of the Hindu belief system, means “deed” or “act”, and often refers to the accumulations of your actions and determines each soul’s unique destiny.
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Sleeping in clothes that are required for working out for women of certain shapes, including a very sturdy underwire sports bra (required for any type of exercise in public) and spandex/biker style shorts (thighs rub together, can't wear loose shorts), is not an option. I always wonder who that advice works for. Would love to do it if it were feasible. Just mustering up the energy to put on a sports bra can be a psychological barrier to working out, sometimes. Even the high tech/high quality/expensive great fitting ones are nightmares to put on.
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@Sweetie Darling This advice works fine for me and my girlfriend.
It's almost like not every suggestion will work for everyone, so each of us must find our own path to success.
Personally, I decide every day that I'm not going to work out (or run, or whatever). And then I do it anyway. Contrary to this article's subtitle, it really is all about willpower.
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@Sweetie Darling I’m glad you weren’t playing hockey the next day..thank you
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@Michael-in-Vegas
I agree!!! It is ABSOLUTELY all about willpower, resolve and self-regard. I give no credence to any other philosophies about goals, including health.
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I have to disagree with just 1 point in this article. If you listen to an audiobook (or listen to music) while walking or running, you're less likely to hear something important, like a car horn.
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@R Lynn Barnett
why do some people alter their experience by listening to music,etc?or driving a car in traffic?
there was a book written years ago called the “zen of running.” It was written by a runner on how to be mindful in the moment,
to be one with his mind and body,to be aware of your heart,legs,breathing feeling the different weathers.
That always reasonated with me.
Once a tragic event occurred near my home.a young teen listening to music thru a headset,as she walked across the train tracks while the conductor blew the horn,but she did not hear the warning.
Thank you for your important comment.
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@R Lynn Barnett
There are many earbuds that have a function that allows sounds to filter in to raise awareness of your surroundings. Or just use one earbud. If someone needs the motivation of music or books to exercise then there are ways to make it work and still be safe.
The rewards part of this makes sense, but it can also be the hardest part. I think that's why it's so hard to get in the habit of doing something that I really don't like to do. I really, really hate washing dishes and, ironically, I lived most of my life in apartments that didn't have dishwashers. After getting fed up with piles of dirty dishes in my kitchen, I formed a habit of always, without fail, doing the dishes before going to bed (building it into an existing routine) and the reward was I never had to wake up to a sink full of dirty dishes, which was enough of a reward to keep me going.
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It's hard to believe this article did not mention Gretchen Rubin's book Better Than Before, in which she pretty much cracks the code with respect to habit formation. Not only does she discuss the strategies presented here (and many more), but she deftly and thoroughly addresses that pesky question the article poses in the first place: why? Why is it sometimes hard to foster the good habits we want to adopt? It's a fascinating book.
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Excellent book! Love Gretchen Rubin!
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A nice article, as always! I'll try the challenge tho.. Thanks :)
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In the article, it wasn't clear, "He began by, after a bathroom trip, dropping and doing two push-ups. Now he has a habit of 40 to 80 push-ups a day." Does this mean that Dr Fogg increased his bathroom breaks to 20-40 a day?
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@annec
Perhaps a liquid diet accompanied by a prescription for a diuretic?
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@annec It sounds like a math problem. I had a great laugh. Thank you.
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Don’t see a way to sign up for inbox dailies. Only Alexa. Help
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@Susan try this
https://www.nytimes.com/programs/healthy-habits-challenge
The article mentions listening to audio books while running. Our group, "The Walking Book Club," listens while moving and discuss in our virtual group, engaging the mind and body. Our members are encouraged to celebrate "Cupcake Moments," small, personal bite size victories, like recognizing completed small habits. It's the small victories that build to lifetime healthy-body happy-mind habits. Great points @TaraParkerPope
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My appearance changed dramatically in big ways and small from treatments with a new "normal." And what parts of my body from soles of feet to endless tingling and aches and the challenge of pathological fractures from cancer as residual and permanent effects do not discourage this former runner's spirit to at least get to the park, at least do a lap of walking on the green fields, not worried if someone ever had the time or inclination to view my slowness and lack of elegant stride I had just years earlier as possibly due to being a "horrible example of sad limping impaired older people." Even after work in this fast paced and complex city, people are in parks with children, dogs or by themselves, mostly no cell phones, and smiles for and from passing strangers as the sun quickly fades with the rising chill of darkness. Another day ended with humanity and well being.
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Years ago I got pneumonia and was sidelined for weeks. when I returned to my daily aerobics class I worked hard to get through a class, and was completely exhausted by the end. I kept at it for a couple of weeks with no improvement. Then I read someplace that I should not try to get through an hour, but only as long as I felt good, even if it was only a minute or two. I reduced my workout to two minutes. Seriously. Within a week I felt good at 15 minutes, and after the second week, I was back to an hour. I now apply this to anything new I try.
My takeaway: baby steps, tiny bites.
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@soozzie sounds like you will love the Tiny Habits book!
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I'm signing up for this because the sugar challenge worked so well for me. But I already have some healthy habits like walking my dog every evening and taking my gym bag with me every day even though I don't always make it to the gym. So I'm hoping the next challenge will be the "Breaking Unhealthy Habits Challenge." Unhealthy habits would include things like eating every time one sits down to watch television in the evening regardless of actual hunger.....
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Two tricks that worked for me...
1) I wanted to start going to the gym more regularly, but I realized that my exercise clothes/outfits were very 'basic'...like 'sweats' that I might wear to be comfortable around the house. I decided to invest in more attractive exercise clothes...clothes that were more fitted...had a bit of spandex...and in cool colors and patterns. Now when I put these outfits on, I already feel more pumped, more fit, more energized. It has really helped me in finally going to the gym with more regularity.
2) While I have a shared office space (and small locker) available for my use at any time, at my company's office in midtown, I have a bad habit of being lazy and working from home, and where my work PC is always at-the-ready on my kitchen table. However, I recognize that this is a bad habit for me. Living alone, it ends up just being me and the 4 walls of my small apartment. I'm not getting out...no fresh air, no sunshine, no interaction, and... well...it can be easy to not leave the apartment for 1.5 days at a time...and then I feel stir crazy...finally venture out...but then repeat the same bad habit.
So when I DO make it into the office, at the end of the workday I lock my PC in my office locker, thereby Forcing myself to go back into the office the next day (for I cannot get my work done without my office PC). I'll often repeat this same thing, locking my PC up again that night, so I get a few days in a row of working at the office...
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Very nice article. It is indeed easier to start build a new habit into an existing one than do something completely new and different. Progressive, small steps are more realistic than a giant, drastic one. As far as making it easy, I get everything ready the night before: my work clothes, my gym bag, my lunch and the coffee is set to brew for when I get up. This way, I just need to get ready, grab coffee, my stuff and I'm out the door.
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Having the habits you want to maintain on a daily basis, does depend on the environment where you live.
Mine changed. Where once I rode my bicycle no less than five miles a day and more often twenty, and swam at least one hour five times a week, changed radically when I moved to a municipality that just doesn't have the money for public pools to be maintained year round (as do other municipalities - by government code in California) and its streets are dangerous for pedestrians and bicyclists.
Now I have an indoor rower which just doesn't work as well as the gym ones, and I purchased weights to carry up stairs every time I ascend to the next level of my dwelling.
I carry ten lbs or twenty-five lbs one in each of my hands while walking upstairs at a good pace.
A ten things to do a day routine, and two of them have to be unpleasant is something I have just started to do.
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Most habits are not the result of intentionality (which may be why intentionally trying to create a habit is difficult).
Most everything we do either creates or reinforces a habit, e.g., the use of verbal commas. Given that, perhaps the best thing we can do is worry less about intentionally creating (often unrealistic) habits and work on eliminating bad habits.
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These comments are inspiring to me.i needed to hear what you had to say.
I have always been active even through ten surgeries in ten years.
These past few months I have got into a bad habit of watching politics on the internet,that has replaced my exercise routines among other routines.it leaves me mentally exhausted.
I feel stuck.i will take the advice I’ve read today.
I continue to eat healthy,take long walks with my dogs,
I just need to replace the internet with activity,starting when I wake up.
I know what I need to do,
Thank you all for your comments.
A very positive read.
George
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@George very often do I find the comments more inspiring and entertaining than the article itself. Thank you for sharing your experiences and commenting. It feels like therapy.
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You can transition by listening to podcasts while exercising, and perhaps pick just one favorite show.
I go through bouts of anxious news-grazing, myself, and I find that a good one-hour show covers most of the key events in a day. Tying that hour to a beneficial activity, or a beloved one (in my case, knitting) can get you more balance.
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i'm nearly 83, female, tennis player for 40 years (which, to be candid, isn't wildly athletic--i always say it's just a shade more active than sitting, though i do dash about in my doubles games, singles not finding me as fit as needed). i walk every day, "every" meaning about 360 of the 365, b/c sometimes a plane trip keeps me from a walk when we arrive at midnight, though I often cheat and walk around the hotel floor inside. the big thing is to do it daily: a DEDICATED walk, even if verrrrrry short. no setting records, tho my fit bit is fun to have as my conscience, even w/o my being a slave to it. plus stretching ex. at home, stretch class and light exercising classes. taking stairs. none of this "i'm a perfectionist" drivel, extremely self-centered and Look At Me-ish. But I do think a whisper of willpower enters in. Maybe it's not that I want to do all this; I just don't want NOT to have done it (chiefly, the daily walk). And early in the day always for home exercises, truthfully not too arduous, but that's why I keep doing them, adding a few items to my reps every 6 mo. or so. Wish all this helped w/sleep; alas, no.
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@ele6 Tennis isn’t wildly athletic! It’s just a shade more than sitting?! That’s the weirdest comment I’ve seen all year! You must be a golfer.
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"We’re all creatures of habit. We tend to wake up at the same time each day, brush our teeth, have morning coffee and commute to work, following the same patterns every day."
Is this how most people experience life? Sounds like a pretty handy way to have one's brain function. Sounds... downright reliable. I'm so hung up on this opening line sounding so alien, not sure how the rest of the article will go (I'm laughing out loud, in my head)
At least I'm original and a problem solver. Almost makes up for my inability to catch on to routine.
But habits are SO hard.
Probably also why I never learn but that's another story.
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@M H That first line was a killer for me. I wish I could develop and stick to a morning routine!
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What has worked for me is was to redefine failure; or more accurately success. I couldn't do what I felt was the required 10 reps of any weight lifting set so, failing wasn't fun and I never stayed with it. Finally, I decided that even if I did 2 reps that was success. 2 reps for the day's exercise was success. The next day or a few days later 3 reps then 4 etc etc. I've applied that to all aspects of exercising and it is working great! I can dead-lift (something I never thought a guy in his late 50's could or should do to any extent) 275 now. It has taken 18 months but that has been 18 months of weekly success.
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@Michael
Different words, different mindset!! It does help.
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Our very systems of belief and knowledge are a form of habit. Striking to me that the notion of habit here is the usual dumbed- down individual psychological one, when William James's view was far more subtle (James was the founder of American psychology). Alongside other pragmatist philosophers and thinkers (Peirce, Mead, Dewey) he provided a theory of mind based upon a developmental logic developed from Darwin. Habits are not just individual therefore but embodied in society and individuals from the environment we inhabit. In starting from the individual, and not from the group and society, the approach here has it backwards. You don't explain language from a starting place in the individual, why would you do so with habit?
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@G Rayns Some good points. Our habits are influenced by our lifestyle, which is a results of the society we live in. So, if talking about how I can overcome some of those tendencies and respond appropriately to my environment despite friction is backwards, what is the language to help - someone or everyone? all of us? - with - something or everything? life? - using a societal basis of behavior and habits?
Don't have long distance commutes or office jobs? Eliminate factory farming and processed food? Replace our economy entirely with manual labor and family-based sustenance agriculture? Establish and maintain forests covering the entire country? I mean I'm all for that, no joke, but who accomplishes this and how, in your Darwin-based philosophical approach?
A world government that establishes a system which supports healthy behavior and teaches people to be happy and productive?
1
After retiring from a high stress job involving being on my feet most of the day, running up and down stairs several times a day and eating lunch at my desk, I was suddenly faced with a day filled with unscheduled time. Sitting around was not an option. I have built a day that begins with walking at least a mile rain or shine, targeted exercises to keep muscles in good shape and weight lifting. I volunteer two days a week and socialize as much as possible. The structure of this routine has kept me energized and so far healthy at 78.
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I’m working on a habit of not using smart devices where I can easily avoid them. So no thank you to Alexa.
Otherwise, as a freelancer I don’t have a built in routine to work around and have struggled to build my own. Last year I joined a group doing Julia Cameron’s The Artist’s Way and was pleasantly surprised to find that the act of starting every morning with her prescribed “morning pages” had the unexpected bonus of settling a routine in motion, which in turn has helped me build habits to which I have long aspired. For over a year I have been journaling, meditating, doing yoga, and taking long walks every day while also being more mindful of my eating and sleeping schedule.
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Wow. The lights came on. Tying good habits to current habits is genius. And doable. Thank you. This article was worth my subscription. I just had an minor stroke and I am in need of change, obviously.
This will make it happen.
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@JDH Yes! I have been meaning to stretch my shoulder regualrly to regain range of motion after a bout of adhesive capsulitis. I think giving it a stretch everytime I visit the bathroom just might do it.
5
I would add social pressure to this list. Tell everyone you know that you are giving up alcohol and it is much harder to go to the fridge and grab a beer. Schedule (and pay in advance) for personal training sessions; you are less likely to skip the trip to the gym if it requires you to call the trainer with an excuse. Announce at work that you are on the keto diet and it will be almost impossible to sit at your desk and munch on chips.
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@ML Totally re: training sessions. 2 yrs ago I never imagined paying for a trainer but guess what. a trainer costs less than all the wine I was paying for....
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Sounds good if it works for you. Everyone is different. For me, I have found that anything that adds stress or shame ends up being counterproductive.
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@ML - :)) I think every woman in my apartment building has told me they are on the keto diet. I couldn't resist. On Thanksgiving I delivered a loaf of warm homemade bread and homemade hot-chili pepper oil to one apartment. The other got a homemade sweet potato/walnut pie (still warm). The next day the one lady told me she ate the entire loaf of bread in one sitting dipping it in the oil while her mother kept harping about keto diet:))
They all look the same after 6 or more months of dieting while I dropped another 10 pounds over the holidays..eating bread, potatoes, etc.
While technique is important as to which one is the best for the individual the bottom line is if you must really want to do it.
If you do you will, if you don't you won't.
It is as simple as that.
That is the bottom line imo.
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Yoda said it better! Do. Or do not. There is no try.
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@HistoryRhymes
Better what John Mason tells Goodspeed
about trying from the movie “The Rock”
Get a “habit buddy.”
A die-hard runner and gym rat my whole life, I ended up laid up for months following a serious injury. When I finally got released to exercise, I was so weak I’d get winded walking to the mailbox. I spent a few more months barely leaving the house, feeling sorry for myself. Going back to the gym or out on the trails was out of the question because I didn’t want people who knew me feeling sorry for me. Finally my best friend, whom I’d pestered for years to get in shape, made a pact with me: he’d go for a walk every time I’d get on my treadmill at home (he lives in a different state). Every evening, he’d call me to coax me into my running shoes. I’d say I was too tired. “Just put them on,” he’d say. “Okay,” I’d say and not budge from the sofa. “You’re talking to me and not doing anything else, just lace up the shoes to humor me,” he’d persist. “I don’t know where any of my running gear is,” I’d grumble. “Just the shoes,” would be the reply. Eventually I’d put them on just to be able to change the conversation, and go downstairs in my bathrobe to get on the treadmill at a snail pace to show him how out of breath that would make me. But after a few days, of course, I’d be less out of breath. After two weeks, the bathrobe was in the way of my stride. And now, two months later, my now-5-mile daily walk is turning into longer and longer sections of running and I know I’ll be running a marathon this year again.
It started with a treadmill walk in my bathrobe.
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@Samantha
Lovely story. But it sounds as though it really started with a really good friend.
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@Samantha What a great friend! Thanks for sharing your story.
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@Samantha Why does it have to be running? It can be hard on your joints and you might not be able to do it all your life. If you don't have a gym, try walking and then walking with weights.
If you can go to a gym, try pilates, yoga, barre, elliptical trainers, step mills, rowing machines, spin classes. Being in a class is a great motivator without being competitive.
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Thank you for the great tips!!!
5
My Mother told me at a young:’make good habits when you’re young, then your good habits make you.’ I hope it woks on my kids.
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I'm a daily morning exerciser, and it began really through sheer will-power. Several years ago, while we were both working, my husband and I would go to the gym at 5:30am. Now retired and living near the mountains, we are still morning exercisers, but fortunately we don't need to begin until it's at least light outside. Any will-power aspect is now largely unnecessary, as after so many years of this practice neither of us feels quite "right" throughout the day if we didn't hike, kayak, walk, lift weights, or do yoga (me) at the start of the day. I feel fortunate to have this habit now so ingrained.
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I'm an 86 year old who's lived a moderately physically active life: long time jogger and about average road racer in my forties and fifties, lifting moderate weights most of my adult life, etc. I utilize reasonable eating habits and belt down a couple glasses of wine almost every day.
At 84 I heard of Senior Olympics and since events I thought I might do halfway well in were scheduled close to where I live, I entered. I did quite well and have gotten very motivated.
The same folks come back each year and it's very enjoyable. I'm a weak looking ectomorph and dress for no success at the events. But having trained very hard, I almost always compete successfully.
Lots of widows who compete are shocked by my 98 lb. weakling appearance and and are shocked think I'm 'SO STRONG'! Good thing I'm happily married.
It's fun and well worth the hard work. I really do feel fifteen or twenty years younger and can't wait for this year's events.
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For the past 3 weeks I have been going to my local Y before work (so waking up at 4:30am) 5 days a week doing a fitness program that was created by a woman I watch a YouTube. I love working out at the gym, for some reason I can't bring myself to do it at home, and I don't have the proper equipment either. It was a big change to start going so early in the morning, for a few months before this I was going after work, but going after work stressed me out and it was easier for me to get out of doing. But now it is nice to know by 7am I have already completed an hour of weight training and it gives me a nice boost of energy in the morning. The program is 8 weeks but I hope to continue going to the gym in the morning after that program is completed. Haven't seen a lot of physical progress yet but the increased mental clarity and boost in mood is desperately needed for my depressed brain.
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I think there is good advice here. But will power is nearly always needed too, to change or create new better habits.
I'd say the statement "we make bold resolutions to start exercising or lose weight, for example, without taking the steps needed to set ourselves up for success" ... needs an addition.
It takes some will power to take those first steps needed for some measure of success, however small, and will power to keep taking them.
In my experience it's rare to accomplish something of significance without considerable will and self effort, but starting with small goals and attaining a thousand little victories helps with our confidence when a big challenge is tackled.
Start small and build, but the will to persist is also needed.
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Can we use this to stop climate change? Because we ALL need to change our habits here--walking instead driving, taking the train instead of flying, bringing your own bag/cup to the store, etc. Perhaps if we can have good habits towards the earth we can make a small dent in our headlong rush into self-destruction.
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@Hazlit even better, introduce the small frictions of carbon taxes, toll roads, and end free parking then using the money to make public transit free.
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@Hazlit
No.
The only way to stop climate change in this country is VOTE BLUE no matter who in RECORD NUMBERS despite the republicans gerrymandering, voter suppression and Putin’s interference.
It may be too late anyway.
10
@Hazlit Your intentions are good, but your advice is misleading. Big Oil loves that ordinary people feel responsible for climate change, feel guilty about flying, feel guilty about using a plastic bag, etc.
All noble goals, but these small changes are meaningless unless we seriously ramp up our efforts to fight the corporations and political systems that are actually destroying this planet.
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Peace of mind is the most important habit to have.
Why?
Because a peaceful mind will "automatically" grow and nurture the psychological "desire" to establish more physical, mental and spiritual habits designed to encourage and establish peace of mind, and thus a less conflicted life.
A peaceful mind is the first habit to establish.
Because no matter how well we develop habits that help us to exercise, diet, do well at work, do well at home, do well with our friends/enemies and family, we will always see and respond to others and ourselves with "conflicted mind habits" and thus without peace of mind, unless we make peace of mind a habit.
Peace of mind is the habit that leads to the release of habitual conflict in our daily lives, which is the most important habit to undo.
In the world, as Tolstoy wrote, there is either "War and Peace." In the mind, in our "everyday life mind" there is either "conflict or peace." No and. Only either.
Which shall we each choose?
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True, but not everyone is built to have peace of mind, be it owing to our nature or early nurture. For those of with unquiet minds, other healthy habits can bring some relief. I run, for example. It brings me peace. Because I run, I also eat healthy and practice yoga as both are necessary for me to run my best, and things that keep one’s body healthy also help bring about a sense of mental well-being.
Others here have posted about connectedness, which is also crucial to feeling more grounded and thus more at peace. In today’s world of hectic lives and careers that take us around the country, being connected to people may also depend on first forming a habit of reaching out and meeting potential friends.
I’d argue that finding peace of mind for most of us starts first with a host of small habits that we nurture and which, in turn, blossom into larger positive changes.
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@Samantha
Hi Samantha,
Thank you for responding to my opinion.
I would suggest considering that "everyone is built to have peace of mind." But because of our early nurture, or I would phrase it, early lack of love from others, we have forgotten that we are built for love, or for its twin: peace of mind.
All other forms of healthy habits, including yoga that you mentioned are good, excellent, in and of themselves.
But it is in yoga that the definition of "peace of mind" is defined. The definition of yoga is "union." And without peace of mind, the union, the purpose of yoga, is not possible. And to it physically is just the start.
We all know, including myself, that we can have a wonderful hatha yoga class, go out in the car, get one iPhone call, and all the hatha peace we acquired is in pieces.
Raja yoga, the yoga of meditation, is the one yoga method that helps us directly make peace of mind a habit. And is necessary to help us remember: we are built for peace of mind, we have just been conditioned out of it, we just have forgotten. You may want to see yoga sutras 2 and 3.
Robert
4
I had spent some years engaging in vigorous hatha yoga and usually walked away with little but, well, short-lived invigoration. You are correct that the practice needs to reach deeper. A couple of years ago I started putting all those mastered asanas to better use and, with the help of a wonderful teacher, began learning targeted kriyas in pursuit of that elusive inner quiet, the nirodha you indirectly mention by referencing the 2nd and 3rd sutras. The road to peace varies for each of us: both in length and difficulty. Rediscovering the unity of body and mind we were born to have may take a lifetime.
A note on the meaning of nirodha: In Theravada Buddhist writings, much emphasis is placed on the mastery of fire. Modern translations of yogic texts invariably render ‘nirodha’ as ‘cessation,’ but the Buddhist sources point more to its literal meaning of ‘ni’ (‘down’) and ‘rodha’ (‘earth bank’): sheltering oneself from the fire behind a safe barrier, or containing it; not necessarily extinguishing it.
As I get older, I appreciate yoga for the tools it gives me to make peace with not always being at peace. It’s the earth bank from behind which I can watch the fire burn, and can even harness it for my own ends.
Sam
2
It’s difficult to define ‘willpower,’ but nearly every remedy described here requires desire from the onset. Perhaps discipline and regimen are important for the continuation of good habits, but they can only begin with a dose of willpower.
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@Spencer
A vast majority could agree that willpower comes first. The minority with severe ADD might say memory comes first. To remember your goal. That you have a list. Where you put your list. What that timer or alarm going off indicates.
No one familiar with my highly detailed work would ever imagine that this is a constant battle for me. I figure 8 or 9 times I have forgotten that I have quit smoking, a weed or a year prior. Then someone reminds me and I get to start all over. Nonetheless I will do my best with these suggestions.
6
I already have a very good diet and probably exercise more than I should. I also spent the better part of yesterday with my mother helping her to the doctor. So, I did my "connecting" part. Not sure what else I could do but I appreciate the offer of help. Not to change the subject but I do hope that the next administration will have some ideas like this for the nation.
9
@Ron A Your hoping the next administration has ideas like this for the nation presumes that there's a different occupant in the White House. This one exudes toxic habits.
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@notjustmary :
I would really like to see some testing on the effect of someone as toxic a head of state as Trump has on the body politic.
I will be 86 years old next week and in my lifetime he wins that dubious honor.
5
When forming habits, we often think first about diet and exercise, but research tells us that, after getting sufficient sleep, the most important contributor to our wellness is connection. So building a short video call into your morning routine (perhaps during your coffee ritual and not when you’re in the bathroom!) or a brief email to a friend would be a good way to put the advice on habit formation to optimal use.
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@Lynne Everatt
I had a similar thought regarding the elevator story. It seemed to me a good opportunity to have a conversation with a stranger. Who cares about the stairs.
9
@Lynne Everatt You've hit on the exact motivation for my saying "good morning" to my Dad every day -- no matter where I am, or the medium (text, phone).
It's not just the greeting -- it's the daily connection, and the feelings of gratitude it inspires as I start the day.
Habits of eating well and moving more are great. But habits of practicing social connection -- especially meaningful ones (parents / children, good friends) --
also require practice.
4
Exercise for its own sake has always been difficult for me. I enjoy team sports, especially on the water, but I needed to get in better cardiac shape for these sports in the off season, and I can’t bear exercise machines or chlorinated pools. The ultimate motivator was thrift. I wanted to save money commuting, so I got a citibike subscription and started biking a 30 minute portion of my daily commute to work. Since I was getting the rental bike, the freedom to ride only once a day and not have to commit to the full round-trip door to door commute, with a heavy lock in tow, made it biking a habit I quickly incorporated into my day. Now three years into the habit, I usually ride both ways to and from work, logging 10-mikes a day, or more if I bike back and forth across midtown for a mid day appointment. I have 2 backpacks, one for fair weather and one for rain, ready to go with my rain pants, raincoat and warm waterproof gloves, so its never a big deal to get ready. On days when I’m tired or not feeling well, I still ride because now thats just what I do.
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@Another NYC woman I'm now 75, but when I worked, I walked 3+ miles to work year 'round and took the bus home. It was a great way to begin the day and despite often looking somewhat bedraggled (After all, it IS Maine and the winters can be fierce.), I always felt energized and downright accomplished. These days I swim laps a couple of days a week and walk all over my neighborhood. Like you, I just do it.
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@Flinty
Agree!
I’m lucky, met a great woman from North Dakota,
Her routine was running at the harbor where I walked my 6 year old dog. Everyday I would say my hello, this went on for over a year.
We both stopped one day and exchanged numbers. We found community in many things.
The best was exercise, Be it walking,hiking,
or biking. The dog and I were a package deal.
23
From the book “The Practicing Mind” -
Slow
Small
Simplify
Short
(I add “steady” to do it every day )
If we do the 5 “S’s, we build a habit and as time goes by, we will want to expand it more.
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@Mary M. I love that book and yet forgot about the five "S"s. Thanks for the reminder!
3
my favorite "self help" book. thank you for that 5th "S"!
Whenever one uses a microwave oven, one has a timer going to build a healthy habit. The example given of push-ups could be performed during the one-minute zap. There are plenty of body-weight exercises that can be started small and slow that can be done during the one-minute zap: a plank, crunches, lunges, squats, walking up and down the stairs, leg lifts, those push-ups, and so on. Cooking oatmeal for breakfast in three 1-minute zaps with stirring in-between and an exercise during embodies all the advice written in the article.
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@ Jim in Texas
Yes, Jim. I can attest to using the microwave as a nifty timer... even today.
My pasta had just 5 more minutes to go. While the bubbling water was doing it’s magic,
I engaged in various stretches, while listening to some favorite music.
Stove turned off, the pasta remained in hot water.
Exercised 2 more minutes.
Results: I consumed the pasta with less guilt and increased satisfaction.
Perhaps I should rename this particular pasta dish: “Sublime Al Dente Stretches”
:::::
1
When I start a large project, I plan (always a plan) to do it "four or five days a week." I recently started a memoir and pledged to do a page a day, four or five days a week. This lets me off the hook on busy or lazy days, but makes it easy to accomplish. Soon the pages pile up and when I'm hot I might do two or three pages. At this rate I will have a full-length manuscript in a year. I've written and had published several books this way. As for exercise, to get me walking, I got a dog. I've put in several thousand miles in the past seven years I might have spent on the couch.
32
It ALWAYS takes willpower to overcome inertia, reluctance, noncompliance or whatever "friction" might exist. Also rewards are powerful and withholding something is also effective. Like no coffee (o no!?) until you do a few pushups or balancing on one foot. Or maybe you can't sit in pet your dog, jump in favorite tv chair- withold what you love most.
7
When I lost 25 pounds almost 15 years ago (and have kept it off), not only did I get strategic - I tracked my food, looked at portions, etc.- but I got laser clear on my "why". Why did I want this? And why did I want this to be a lifestyle rather than another diet I would fail at? My father died when I was very young and I did not want to be responsible for a weight related health issue (diabetes, heart disease, etc). It stays with me today. I have three children and I want to know I am doing everything I can to be healthy for them.
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@Heather I think this is THE most important part. 2 year olds ask it all the time. It's the actual motivational piece that will keep you in check!
5
@Heather
Heather's memoir is the exact opposite of the point made by the article. It is Heather's wishful thinking that the article says is unhelpful, at least as compared to setting up habit formations.
2
@Ben it's not "the opposite," it's just a different point.
Heather is talking about motivation (the article wasn't about motivation). She's right that the best motivation is *positive* ("I want to be there for my kids"), not *negative* (i.e. "I don't want to be embarrassed by my weight at my HS reunion").
There's room for both points. Good for you Heather. I lost 60 lb ten years ago, and have kept it off, with much the same strategy.
13
I'm a big believer in small and steady on building new habits. As an executive coach I suggest to people that before a meeting that will be tense or an interaction that could be difficult, add time for a few seconds to stand still and take 2 - 3 deep breaths.
Better still for habit building - take those few seconds before every meeting, tense or not. Then it's a habit when something tense comes up.
24
Conscientious people with high executive function have an easier time developing good habits. Some of this might be baked in, but it is also linked to parental style (parents listen up). Authoritarian or laissez faire parents don't fare as well.
I must have good habits since at 70 I have eaten well, had a regular bedtime, and exercised for 50 years. It has served me well. I function like a 45 year old. I do slip occasionally, but my biggest driver is that I know I must stay healthy because my youngest daughter needs me. I can't leave her parentless. My other driver is my love of a younger man who could have pretty much anyone. I would say knowing (and caring ) that someone else needs you plus wanting to stay sexy keeps me in a healthy groove. Not to mention looking at the horrible examples of sad limping impaired older people at my gym. That should be enough to keep anyone on the straight and narrow.
65
@Mary Rivkatot I sighed deeply when I read this. I too was in terrific shape at 72 (I'm 74 now) but was unlucky and contracted a virus that attacked my cranial nerve and has left me deaf in one ear, with double vision and bad balance. I was determined though, after years of good health and high activity, to get as much back as I could. And over the course of two years I have, but still have to deal with the permanent damage. I'm thankful that I had all those years of daily strenuous exercise (not formal -- taking care of animals on a farm provided it). It means I have the habit to try to get back in the best shape as I can. Now when I reach for a can on a high shelf, I call it one of my stretches!
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@RWP Exactly—The "meta-habit" of habit-forming is an important life skill for aging. We often have to create new sets of habits over and over in response to expected and unexpected circumstances. I've got several sets of habits (for example, the after-travel, jet-lag recovery cycle; the recovering-from-an illness cycle; and the barometer-is falling-and-everything-hurts cycle.)
I'm still learning how to recognize the subtle prompts from deep inside that signal I'm ready to go back to the gym, or maybe just go on a short walk and see how it goes. The appetite finally shifts back to smaller portions and healthier food, but in the meantime I'm constantly trying to find healthier snacks for that other, harder-to-control appetite.
It's a moving target: eventually further limitations will need to addressed. I find the ongoing challenge of manipulating my behavior towards health and strength to be fascinating in itself.
4
@RWP,
Oh, yes, I call putting the dishes away from the dishwasher “kitchen yoga:” Bend down to the dishwasher, reach up to a high cupboard, twist and turn — gently. Repeat until done.
Cooking is somewhat similar; perhaps that’s why it’s called light to moderate exercise. Pull out the pans, utensils, ingredients, wash, chop, stir, meanwhile moving here and there.
I hear you about the sighs. Disabilities can drop in at any age. There are no guarantees of perfect outcomes. We do the best we can with what we have. Give yourself a pat on the back; that’s what I do. And do it often.
21