The author's first mistake in this article was having a Facebook account.
87
Please New York Times what is the point of this article. I never got past the headline because the whole point of somebody being envious someone else's physique is pointless.
60
A man would never write a review like this. Woman will always be their worst enemies. Try voting for a woman President instead of this idiot dialogue.
68
I don't know why you should take J Lo's slim physique personally.
Most Asian women are slim and fit well into their dotage.
Staying slim and fit does not require a degree in physics to understand, or to achieve.
34
The author's lack of self respect and confidence makes me want to puke.
48
I thought this show was awful.
The music was sophomoric, and why on earth a woman would parade around with her rear-end on show is beyond me. And this is how they want to show themselves to the world? As pieces of meat? With all the money they would ever need, and still behaving like tramps.
And in front of her own daughter? Is this how Jennifer would like her daughter to behave?
I was disgusted.
48
This was not entertaining at all. Nothing to do with race. Simply a couple of middle aged women lip syncing and doing a hoochi koochi dance with a stripper pole mixed in.
43
J. Lo and Shakira are both inspirational, and this is coming from one whi is older than either of them and yet still likes to shimmy and shake her booty too. Let's stop tearing down women for either being too fit and good looking or not fit and good looking enough. Instead, take a beat admire their talent, lift each other up, move, feel the joy and celebrate with them!
44
A big big issue in modern life is human trafficking. Jlo and her strip club pole dancing and repetitive crotch shot stuff were tone-deaf and lacked any creativity. Strip clubs and pole dancing...guess what America...there is a connection to prostitution and human trafficking? Really. JLo only gets the connection to her bank account. Period. And, calling upon her daughter's choir to follow mommy's stripper rendition just nailed it.
44
There was waaay too much leg-spreading and crotch-showing (albeit covered by tights). It was alternately goofy and embarrassing. I give Shakira a pass for the belly dancing-inspired gyrations owing to her Lebanese heritage. But Jennifer Lopez? Couldn't help but look away. I suppose my 12-year old granddaughter was watching, but to quote her: "I only hang out with the smart kids."
34
It's a super bowl halftime show, not "It's Academic".
Years ago it was Busby Berkley musicals that were sporting crotch shots. Today it's pop stars.
There's a fine line between sexual fun and objectification. It's all what we allow, ultimately. I think a lot of criticism from women has to do with wondering if their man will still be happy with them if they don't look like J. Lo. We as women have to get away from that. It's time we start appreciating beauty, just like men do, but in a healthy way, and when is dancing not healthy, even if it's hyper sexual?
Now young women growing up with instant 24/7 free ubiquitous porn, that's a completely different article. There's some issue there worth debating.
15
After all of the # metoo etc , i find it discouraging that sex still sells to this degree
18
At least when Michael Jackson grabbed his crotch he had pants on.
No matter the age or gender, I don't want to have to watch someone do that crotch move with the equivalent of a panty liner on. And I question her ability to articulate the move effectively. And for all the talk about bodies- let’s not overlook the plastic Saran Wrap effect of those nude body shapers entertainers wear to keep it all from hanging out. They are really unflattering, especially under stadium lights. At least when drag queens wear them you understand it is what the artifice demands.
I thought the show looked dated, from costumes to choreography. After all the hype of JayZ being on board, I’m disappointed that J-lo is the musical act he finds relevant in 2020. I sense it was always about the pole. In movies and music, her relevance has always relied on her looks. Hence the focus of the discussion here.
20
I am probably one of the few who was thoroughly unmoved by this performance. J. Lo is incredible, very talented, an intelligent businesswoman, a fine actor and a uniquely charming celebrity. But everything about this performance seemed painfully forced. It's laughable that people are obsessed with the tiny outfits which are not tiny at all but cover most of her body. And yes, she is in incredible shape, not just from genes but likely an extreme regiment of diet and workout. She worked for that people and she has been working on it for decades. She earned it and she looks great for any age. The obsession with her being fifty is so pedestrian, as pedestrian as the hair, make-up, outfits and peek-a-boo crotch shots at the camera. If this is really the idea of what sexy is, in 2020, I think we have a long way to go. So, no, I don't think any woman of any age needs to judge themselves by this performance or J. Lo's body. This is such outdated and rather pandering thinking. Sex is in the mind, not the body. The longer we drag this old stereotype along the more silly it becomes. I felt no intrigue by the performance which seemed painfully curated to elicit just this response..."A woman can look like that in her '50's!?". Of course some can, especially if they've been working for it for the last thirty years. It's not magic and in the end it's not even that interesting. Write a great song, sing soulfully, dance incredibly...that's sexy.
46
Why was this article written?
31
Everyone has been saying: 'Look how GOOD J Lo looks,' but I guarantee that many many women of a certain generation would HATE to have her butt and thighs and would think they were FAT. Admit it. It's only been in recent years that we gave up judging everyone for not being super skinny.
So, if you have that J LO booty but have always just thought you were FAT - go buy a skin tight Spanx suit in Nude and a shiny corset and prance around your house. Girl, I bet you will be surprise at how good you look.
Finally, anyone judging themselves should probably be thankful for what they have. In 10 years, your 60 old self will look back and think: wow, my 50 year old self looked good, why was I so hard on myself?
25
This won't be popular, but both worked hard to get where they are today - and can certainly afford to look as good as they do, if that's your thing. I'm not much for all the in-your-face-with-my-crotch choreography - or what passes for it today, and neither does much of anything for me vis-a-vis their formulaic can't-remember-one-note music. It's all so ADHD, like Sponge Bob on Broaday - lacking any kind of nuance or sophistication, but then it was for the Super Watchoutyoumightdamageyourbrain Bowl, which I didn't watch. The photo of Jennifer Lopez parallel to the stage on a pole is what made me go to YouTube and watch the whole 14+ minute fiasco. Done. That said, I've never spent a sent on either's music and wouldn't. I know, I know - Bitter! Party of One! Not really. As Dorothy Parker once said of Kathryn Hepburn, "She runs the gamut of emotions - from A to B." Natch.
6
Let's face it ladies.....if you have lots of money for a personal trainer, a makeup artist and personal hair stylist (not to mention a good plastic surgeon), you too can look like JLo or any of the other stars. They make their living with their bodies and they aren't going to look like the average 50 yr. old unless you have been blessed with exceptional genes. I don't care, personally, because I don't have to worry about wearing next to nothing in front of millions of leering men and women straining to spot some cellulite on my thighs. Just satisfy yourselves by remembering that by the time they hit 75 they will either look like the cat lady from too much plastic surgery or they will just look like the rest of us. It all evens out in the end.
14
When did hyper-sexualized pole dancing become routine and acceptable in American life? What's next, erotic dancing as an Olympic sport?
Not too long ago I attended my hometown high school's homecoming pep rally. To my astonishment, they had a booty-shaking contest among the female teachers of the school, set to a salacious 'rap' song. Oh, it was all great, wholesome fun! Isn't this great!, I remember thinking as I walked out of the gymnasium.
What kind of role models are we setting for our children? Not to mention the double standard of encouraging our young females to be both 'twerking sluts' and 'MeToo Victims' at the same time?
You can't have it both ways.
38
It was raunchy. Girls in skimpy outfits shaking their behinds, sticking out their tongues. Swinging on a stripper pole. Laying submissively for the rapper man. Its no surprise though that the women on the left who complain the loudest about being objectified are the very ones who found it fun to watch with their children and grandchildren. How can it not be obviously wrong to promote this as a role model for young girls. How do you think young boys are seeing this and your reaction? Hypocrites.
17
A large amount of men see elite athletes, have some experience with having played the sports, and have an idea of the agony and life-sucking dedication that goes into reaching that level. It only takes an adolescence of football and/or basketball to know that to reach even college athlete level requires more than most want to give. And with that knowledge, we can sit back watching games like the Super Bowl thinking "Man, these guys are great, but I'm so glad I can eat nachos and not be in pain the majority of my existence."
7
What is this junk, nonsense doing in the great grey lady’s newspaper???
14
The game of football teaches men to take land by force; the half time show offers the prize for this neanderthal endeavor.
11
I found the show inspiring, a stirring political statement, a demonstration of Puerto Rican pride and also what a woman’s body can do, given the right combination of genetics, effort, discipline and money, delivered in as little clothing as possible.
The only question I have is, her dancers -- why are they writhing around in that fashion? Is that also a stirring political statement, and so forth? Really! OK, then.
1
OMG she's not having her body *at* you.
6
And I want to look like Brad Pitt. I suggest the author get a life, one that's way less superficial.
15
To Jennifer and The NY Times:
This gushing review of J Lo is nothing more than a validation of the stereotype of The Male Gaze. Is this what women are still to aspire to, at this late date of 2020, to just have their bodies objectified and commodified by men? This piece belongs more in Penthouse or Playboy.
A new low standard for this so-called newspaper. Shame, on the both of you.
13
Most women aren’t insecure enough to care.
11
Yup, ladies, let’s kill entertainment and dancing too.
5
Objectifying women or #MeToo?
3
Say what you want about the gender politics of the whole shebang. My partner, who is a Japanese born woman one year older than JL had to look up the word to share her thoughts in English - "vulgar" "indecent" . I have my own opinion about that (OK, I agree!), but, for me, the truth of it is that I found the whole thing boring. I didn't find any of the "songs" catchy or interesting. The dancing, while quite athletic, wasn't particularly beautiful. The only charm came from the enthusiasm of the little girl dancers and JL's daughter singing. Even with the political and cultural moments, it never appealed to my heart. There was no humor, no melody, very little fun - just an aggressive energy that had no center or focus. Take away the colored lights and what is left? JL on a pole? OMG, really? Why? Zzzzzzzzzzzz.
9
Does this, er, "topic" really belong on the op-ed page? Are we really supposed to get all serious about it?
10
Looks good for whom? Looks good for whom? Looks good for whom?
According to whose standards of beauty? According to whose standards of beauty? According to whose standards of beauty?
When, oh when, will we see clearly that we have embraced a vision of female beauty that is completely defined by male desires and fantasies?
"I'm so hot, so hot, I'm so hot. Want me, want me, want me."
I'll do whatever it takes to my body, my face, my hair to make you want me sexually.
I'll dress however you need me to to get turned on.
Every detail about my appearance I will contort and redefine and disguise in exactly the way you -- the horny male -- want me to.
Then and only then will I -- maybe -- feel beautiful.
We women need to reclaim our own looks, rooted in our own values and comfort. We need to redefine female beauty in a way that makes us feel good from within, not because the way we have made ourselves look on the outside pleases some emotionally immature man.
9
It is JLo's job to look good. She works hard & spends a lot of money to look the way she does. Why be threatened by this? If you at 25, didn't look the way she did at 25, how can you expect to look like her at 50. Stay in shape, keep busy, smile as often as possible & worry about the stuff that matters.
15
The NYT picks are somewhat disappointing as usual. They are curated by a well educated, upper middle class, group of white people. They associate Jlo and Shakira's performances with sexuality when dancing and jiggling if you will is not necessarily sexual in those cultures. Belly dancing is often used to strengthen the birthing muscles and booty shaking comes naturally. Turn on some sick beats and every baby you know will shake their little booty without ever having seen provocative sites. It's just what feels good. So let them shake, jump, booty pop and realize that you're not high-maintenance if you maintain yourself!
10
I was kinda grossed out by the show to be honest.
The music was cool, the cultural aspect was cool, the idea that women are supposed to be ageless sex objects was not cool.
10
Jennifer Lopez is amazing, her performance was flawless, she's a great - extraordinary woman. Ms. Weiner you wrote a jealous inspired - stupid article.
8
Stop judging others by their looks, and stop judging yourself by your looks.
6
Get over it girl...
10
Dear Jennifer Weiner,
Why the heck are you still using Facebook?!
7
All you women who are obsessed with celebrities and how you look should get a life.
7
You can't wear a MeToo hat and support a performance like J.Lo's and Shakira's at the same time. The only thing their performances empowered is the male, Latino machismo stereotype.
And as for the NFL, if you're concerned about the negative publicity surrounding players who beat up their women, maybe you want to consider promoting a different form of entertainment besides the strip club kind.
9
Stop wasting your time even thinking about this. Did you also fixate on Barbie Dolls as a child?
9
J-LO is a female homo sapien. ANY female homo sapien can look like her. And you do not need to be rich to do so.
People always emphasis a star's money as something that gives them an unfair advantage in the ability to look so good. They can afford personal trainers, personal chefs, 24/7 nannies for the kids so they have all this extra time to spend on themselves.
All female homo sapiens will react the same way to good nutrition and exercise regardless if it comes from private chefs and personal trainers or not. It is the effort and determination that counts, not the trappings of how it is obtained or delivered.
So, anytime someone asks why they don't look like J-Lo at 50, they know the answer already.
Small wonder that women get so catty over other women who are ripped and toned and have the self confidence to show it.
7
Not you, Jen.
1
Let's have an uber-hot male celeb cavort on a stripper pole during the next Super Bowl halftime show.
9
Uhmmm… No matter what anyone writes in this "Comments" section, J. Lo just got a huge amount of free publicity from this New York Times (I repeat: NEW YORK TIMES!) opinion piece, with flattering photo. As everyone knows, there is no such thing as "bad" publicity. How ironic.
3
I remember reading the hype over the weekend that Jennifer Lopez will be performing the "Role She Was Born to Play".
For Ms. Lopez (as talented as she is as an athlete, dancer and performer) to prance, dance, squat and do whatever she did with the pole like it was a stripe joint number was the "role she was born to play" then I greatly overrated her on many levels, even her skills as an actress.
I'm sure there will always be a place for her in Vegas because apparently Vegas LOVES that look and package.
But I still love her in her films. I just thought Sunday night was cheap, tawdry and well below her standards as an incredible dancer. She can really move with such brilliance without all of the sexual overtones, undertones, and suggestive tones.
I think a lot of folks were more embarrassed than entertained.
8
Just a big fat “ugh” accompanied by an eye roll
3
How about forgetting about being JLo or Blanche and just be yourself at any age?
The issue with JLo's and Shakira's performance was that they objectified women as sex objects. Come on, people, there was a stripper pole, barely there costumes and pelvic thrusts every second. Pornhub could indeed have been the sponsor. The message was women cannot sing and dance unless they also titillate sexually. And they have to keep doing it even in middle age. The worse thing was JLo did this with her young daughter on stage.
What do you want to do when you grow up, Sally? I want to dance at the Super Bowl in a transparent Versace body suit with a stripper pole. Are we supposed to cheer that on?
It's great and inspiring for women to be fit at all ages. It's also OK to have an expanding waist. It's every woman's choice. No one should be forced into stereotypes.
Didn't the need to objectify ourselves to be seen as valuable go away long ago? Isn't that what decades of fighting for women's rights was all about?
11
Get off social media and get a life.
8
I hate to be negative about this show, but it was simply a burlesque without the strippers. I don't see something like this empowering women. To me it is horribly degrading.
10
before author jumps into what she imagines to be the "hive mind" of all men, concluding that all they think about are nachos, perhaps author should read another opinion by the Times: https://www.nytimes.com/2019/08/29/opinion/sunday/beach-body-tyranny-hurts-men-too.html
3
C’mon ladies! Dancing is a release. Watching a woman- a fifty year old one at that -give it her all should make us all want to feel like busting a move. Don’t over analyze it and get self conscious, just turn on some music and get your shake on. I like to. Even if my back might go out afterwards.
8
Totally unintelligible read that would have been more appropriate for Us magazine.
6
For what it's worth, this 47-year-old Gen X dude skipped the Superbowl because I can't stand football culture.
I've only seen pictures of J Lo's performance and I gotta say that her kind of in-my-face femininity is not attractive to me.
Save your nachos. Get that Cabernet and lets smooch and rub our chin hairs together... ; )
5
You are asking the wrong questions.
The issue isn't how good she looks or how trashy/exciting her dance moves are. She's a performer doing what she is paid to do.
The question I would ask is "What are you selling?"
In a "me, too" age, when women, even of the J-LO caliber, are struggling for gain a stronger, more formative platform, what is the commercial intent of performing a sexually explicit, highly provocative dance routine? To whom are you sending a message, and what exactly is that message?
Sure, it was a powerhouse performance. But what do the pre-teen kids take away from the experience? That objectification is okay? When a 10 year old want to lean how to undulate on a pole, how does a parent respond?
The medium is the message, and the message is not harmless.
If J-Lo wants to dance, let her. She's a grown up. But maybe someone should ask her what she is selling and to whom. I know I would love to hear the answer to that.
7
it is your problem!!
:)
There is always therapy!!!
6
Dear NYT:
I don't know what is more obnoxious -- the NFL's hypocrisy in claiming to be so woke re BLM (while hiding its dirty linen of sex trafficklng, domestic violence, and concussions) -- or the hypocrisy of the entertainment industry in promoting such grotesque, highly sexualized, crotch-grabbing "entertainment" for a "family oriented" half-time program.
Indeed, if the announcers were honest, they would have pointed out that this show validated President Trump's locker room gibe: when you are famous, you can just "grab em by the ....".
Here, the performers showed us that anybody watching TV could grab them in this crude manner ....
8
It's not about you.
4
The Super Bowl is a stupid spectacle; halftime shows with lip-syncing mall music are a stupid spectacle. There is no here here--it's all empty calories. J Lo can look however she wants, you can look however you want, the end.
6
How many 50 + year old men look like Brad Pitt??? Ladies, chill out.
4
Hahaha an inverse "me too" moment! What irony. Who could resist these amazing performers but isn't this flagrant performance of sexual messages irresponsible as role models to young girls? AND young boys. duh. This type of performance simply perpetuates an endless "Me Too" movement. Weinstein must be feeling might smug right now.
2
I think you are really just supposed to look like you and Jennifer Lopez like Jennifer Lopez. The end...
3
J. Lo is a superstar. Please, everyone, stop comparing yourselves to J.Lo. It's pathetic.
6
First world problems?
5
I thought the dancing was exceptional, esp. Shakira. Their bodies looked strong, that's it. No male gaze, no titillation, just great dancing and music. I wouldn't be too hard on yourself, just close your eyes and dance to the music.
6
Oh please. Are you that insecure? Grow up! You might champion someone who tries to to be a success in spite of her limitations.
5
I am so tired of self loathing my body and i dont need jlo to tell me how hot she is compared to me.
1
You just need greed. Then you will do anything on a pole to promote your pole dancing movie. Hate to think what this says to the young women of our nation. Ugh.
2
Objectification of women! #MeToo.. Swarm Swarm Swarm!!!!
1
Nonsense. JLo has the time and money. We don't. Stating you feel "judged" by her body is just beyond silly. Stop comparing yourself unfavorably to a vapid celebrity.
4
Another Pole dance. Great.
2
Shakira looked better
1
The guy dancer who is yearningly looking up to J-lo is thinking: “Hey, Mom, pretty good!” Trying to beat your age is pathetic and ultimately looks pathetic to. Give a few more years and she will look like a cosmetic surgery ghost. Pretty shallow cult of youth, physical appearance, and sex....
2
This is ridiculous. Who cares?
4
Stripper poles??? How very "woke."
2
You’re kidding, right? I mean, is this column a joke? “Feeling personally judged??!!”
I like Anna Quindlen’s description of her body as her “personality delivery system.”
Who cares what other people think about your body? Why would you even care? This obsession is stupid.
Be grateful if you are healthy, or if you are able to do what you reasonably want to do? What else matters?
5
This should be in the Onion. In fact, when I first saw the title I assumed it was going to be humorous. Jennifer, yes her looks are way above the average woman at 50, but did you ever consider how much & how hard she must work out. It is also *part of her job.* Her "brand" is to be fit, toned, beautiful, and sexy. As a dancer, but also as an actress. Are you "judged" by good Kim Bassinger looks (even older) or Anne Hathaway or Kate Hudson?
Your job is to be a writer. Whenever she inevitably publishes an autobiography, do you think her writing will be as good yours?
Also, while she of course has an army of personal trainers, you too can look great at 50. But it requires work and discipline. And, frankly, she probably has the good genes luck of the draw. But to a great, great extent, how your body looks is really up to you. Either to work out intensely or moderately or not at all. And what's in your head--how you think about yourself, physically and emotionally. Learn to recognize and counter distorted thinking.
3
Why is a football half-time show suddenly all about an obscure opinion writer?
2
Sometimes the NYT can be exhausting with these, "What about me!" articles.
5
Seriously? You worry about this?
5
Sure you should feel judged by JLo's body -- if you are foolish enough to compare yourself to a multimillionaire who has nothing to do but stay in shape. You are smart. You are pretty (from you pic). You are funny. Three out of three ain't bad.
4
Look this good?
Do you really think that's how she actually looks.
She's poured into an expensive stretch fabric that is tremendously tight at the waist, hips, and thighs. [Many other performers like her use the same strategy.]
If you really wanted to know how "she looks", you'd have to greet her when she gets out of the shower or when walking around in loose casual clothes.
3
In the MeToo age why aren’t women outraged by the cliche objectification of women put on at the Super Bowl halftime show. I just don’t get it. You don’t get to have it both ways because that is called hypocrisy.
3
I don't see what is the problem. JLO did not even get nominated for an Oscar this year for the movie she was a supporting actress. Also, JLO was not the only female entertainer in the half time show. The pole was just a reference to the mediocre movie JLO had a part in. In the end, what matters is the movie "Joker". "Joker" may be the best film ever made. And the Joke is on JLO.
Honestly, what did we expect Jennifer Lopez - or any female Super Bowl half-time entertainer - to do? Strut out onto the stage in a burqa? People, this is the beer-swilling, brain-concussing game of football.
8
So many people upset at a Latina. Did they write similar comments about Madonna, Beyoncé, Shania, Mick? Do they want to see dancing Amish women? Twirling burkas?
4
Did you look like J Lo or Shakira at 20? Few women do. Why would you expect to look like either one of them at 50?
3
Oh, were they singing? Note to J. Weiner, 'Mrs. Everything" is a waste of space.
Don't put down other successful women just because you feel badly of yourself. Women must support women, don't be so selfish.
3
Describing pole dancing as ‘trashy’ serves to show how racist and classicist this oped is, not to mention a completely worthless, self-fulfilling article. No one writes an outburst about how good Madonna looks in her 50’s while dancing scantily clad on stage. Your ‘hurt’ feelings because a woman or color is ‘better’ than you is no agency to spew the same misogynistic body shaming all women face every day. I am sorry you feel insecure but you are using your privilege on this platform to perpetuate stereotypes about women of color. JLo did nothing to you personally and she should be celebrated for her talent and power.
3
Are women really as insecure as this writer?? J-Lo is an
ENTERTAINER. Of course she should look good. No woman
that I know obsesses about personal beauty as this writer does.
4
Re “watch like a man”, No, Jennifer, you lack the portion of a male body that is most aroused by this kind of display.
Seriously. You need a reality check. Because only then you'll realize that it's you who is judging yourself.
My suggestion.
Just thank the good graces for who you are, what you have, and the fact you can have it printed in The New York Times.
1
Ms Weiner, Really? Celebrate YOU! Your education, your acumen, your talents. J-Lo is a Business! and knows how to celebrate dance, Latino music, and LIFE! Celebrate with her, and support her as one woman supports another! She gets the joke and wants to let you in on it!
1
Well, not every man is from Mars. I'm a male, heterosexual GenXer who tries to fight the jiggle, so I can feel good about myself when I go to the beach 3 days out of the year. It's a losing battle, but whatevs. (Can I have another nacho, please?) Didn't watch the Superbowl, but my GenX wife was raving about the halftime show.
1
well...you know...it's done with mirrors...but the women's lib movement has not succeeded until women stop selling sex...
1
Hey! GET OVER YOUSELF! J-Lo looks the way she does because ITS HER JOB!!! She works at being fit and attractive as hard as you do at your job. If you weren’t a journalist, and spent 4-5 hours a day working out and eating right, you could be as fit and dance as well as she. Geez, do you feel shamed by Pulitzer Prize winning journalists? People in the entertainment business MUST put a high priority on their health and fitness in order to continue to make a living. Don’t blame J-Lo because she works hard and it pays off.
3
Women need to get over themselves.
Yawn.
Whine.
Work out. Eat well. Turn off the TV.
2
Can you imagine a man writing this column? If not, why not?
2
I mean.. keep in mind she's wearing a waist sincher and about 6 pairs of tights.. its a nude allusion.. yes shes fit but she's still human.
A decisive blow against the "act your age" crowd, that says you have to act and look like your granny did.
2
This is Norm, not Susan.
But even if I WERE a fifty-year old woman and not a seventy-year old man--
--I don't think I would look ANYTHING like Ms. Lopez.
I sure didn't when I was fifty.
I sure don't know.
So--it was quite a show. But I didn't see it.
No--I went to a fabulous SuperBowl party. Where we all rooted for Andy Reid and his Kansas City Chiefs. FINALLY--a SuperBowl win for Andy Reid. After those long, dull, dispiriting days with the Philadelphia Eagles.
(But they had their moment of glory a few years ago.)
As for Ms. Lopez and her fantastically limber fifty-year-old body--
--well gosh, Ms. Weiner.
I thought the whole thing was a little lascivious and provocative. So I retreated to a kitchen, peering out every now and then to see if the half-time show was over.
It wasn't. Not yet.
But boy--
--she DOES look fabulous, doesn't she.
(Sigh.)
The Superbowl is a once a year opportunity for families to gather around the television to watch our national pastime, NFL football.
Ms. Weiner, instead, concluded this national game was an opportunity to negatively compare her body to that of some 50 year old woman (J Lo) who was fooling around with a "hustler's pole" for some reason.
The theme to remember about this once a year event, would be the young quarterback Pat Mahomes who was nimbly working his way to victory in the forth quarter of the game.
Instead, that mental picture will be interrupted by some scantily clad 50 year woman (J Lo) hustling a "hustlers pole" usually found in cheap sex joints frequented by intoxicated and horny men. Hopefully, our national pastime has not been replaced by "hustler's poles"
What in the world was the NFL thinking when they planned this half time show watched by millions of families from around the world.?
Are you not entertained?!
2
Wow! Not only are you and your friends extremely shallow, but you're also very poor judges of reality versus fantasy. Got millions of dollars to fund personal trainers & chefs, have all the time in the world to workout every day, and make it your business to entertain and look good? Yes? Then you too can be J-Lo. Get a grip - this is fantasy for 99.9999% of women 50+ years old. If you think that your friends are constantly comparing you to J-Lo, then I suggest that you need to find new friends.
4
Seriously? You feel judged because you don't have the same body as someone who is in the entertainment industry? Someone who makes her living as a *dancer*?
5
Remarkably pointless essay, a waste of paper. There has always been a wide variation in human physical attributes, and I am certain there always will be. Let's think about important things!
4
Tacky, tawdry, tasteless and terrible display.
1
Arguably the dumbest headline ever. Save it for Buzzfeed. Not even going to read the piece. Should I feel judged that Derek Jeter played baseball better at 40 than I did at any age? If you are worth a couple hundred million, have a personal trainer and a chef, then yes, go ahead and feel judged. Until then keep this kind of tabloid trash out of the Times.
3
J. Lo is J. Lo. She's beautiful, no question, a combination of great genetics and personal care.
While I felt some of the same things as Ms. Weiner, who is funny and smart in this piece, as in her other writing, after my initial "dang I don't look like that, and I'm 50 too!" reaction I feel something entirely different.
I don't want to look like J. Lo. I want to look like myself. I want to be my best self, and I know that for me that doesn't involve sequined catsuits or poles. (She's got all that money and fame, and she's pole dancing? Is that liberation, or something entirely different?)
My takeaway? Anything is possible at 50, and we won't be put in boxes. I'm not Blanche or J. Lo, and as much as I admire Dorothy, I'm not her, either. In some ways, I'm all of them, and in some ways I'm none of them.
I think that the joy of being 50 is that I'm defining myself instead of letting others define me. I dress to please myself; I'm getting better at defining what I want and not what the world wants for me. I hope that J. Lo is getting what she wants, too.
5
woman you need a life!
5
No. Get over yourself. She works hard for that body.
6
You do you. Pass the nachos.
4
She looks good?
1
Give it up, Jennifer. She's an entertainer and you are being petty and insecure.
5
Your first mistake is thinking anyone wants to see you half naked.
Your second mistake is comparing yourself to a celeb who has a personal trainer and dietician.
4
Let it all out, Jennifer.
1
"Live! Live! Live!! Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!"
You feel personally judged simply by J Lo's appearance?? This is taking victim culture to its most extreme and ridiculous conclusion. This is the PC culture that most of America despises. Please stop blaming others for your self-esteem issues.
5
"... women singing and dancing in barely-there costumes ..."
Not "barely-there" in the photo. J. Lo's costume is made with flesh-tone fabric.
J. Lo's 2013 Golden Globes gown is similarly made.
A web search for "J. Lo 2013 Golden Globes" will find photos.
1
well only if you take care of yourself, live a healthy lifestyle, and get out.....do stuff......and put down the phone.....so to speak.
Dear White Women:
It's not always about you.
Let the rest of us bask in our own glory.
Woman of color
1
What? Really? You feel judged because a fifty year old woman is physically fit? So insecure. So narcissistic. So lazy.
4
As I watched the halftime show, I wondered how is it that the NFL sanctions pole dancing and bans taking a knee.
6
Problem? I don’t look like Arnold Schwarzenegger. Who cares?
1
Silly argument. No one is forcing her to be J Lo. Furthermore, she doesn’t want to be body shamed. Yet, she’s shaming J Lo.
You had me at Eileen Fisher.
I love it! But.... the headline sounds paranoid. But.... even the paranoid have enemies. Those women are conventionally hot, bully for them! That and a token will get them a ride on the New York City subway.... please everyone, love yourself and know you’re perfect. Despite that those enemies would have you believing otherwise. EOM
"Don't you know about the new fashion honey?
All you need are looks and a whole lotta money"
- Billy Joel
1
Pulchritude will always reap envy.
Tina Turner anyone?
All this is great, and I can imagine how it’s a strange terrain as a woman to navigate throughout life but PLEASE stop trying to get into men’s heads and telling us how we think and feel about things — and especially painting a “dumb man” stereotype of “pass the nachos”. I am sure you are broader than that in your grasp of nuance if you got this published in the NYT. Please pass this complaint onto every woman, ever.
1
How would you like to be a senior citizen having to look at Jane Fonda? Yikes!
1
Why feel judged by JLo’s body. Do you feel judged by Elizabeth Warren’s intelligence?
2
"Men, meanwhile, watch a three-hour game, played by elite athletes with single-digit body fat, and most won’t feel a single twinge of self-doubt, or miss a single chip from the nacho platter."
Dear author...Uhh no. Are you kidding?
1
If Jennifer Weiner's job depended on having abs, I am sure she would find a way to acquire them.
1
DANCE!!DANCE!!!DANCE!!!!
Most likely her body was probably reconstructed by a few good plastic surgeons.
Nachos?
Just the right amount of porn- not too much, not too little.
Why do that to yourself? Forget about it.
I feel personally judged by Jennifer Weiner's opinion piece. It's so entertaining, and so much better than anything I could write! Oh wait, she's a professional writer, it's OK.
1
Obviously not. Move on,please.
The major discussion that I haven't seen, and I'll admit, it's a cynical one is this. If you had millions to spend on a nutritionist who cooks for you, housekeepers, nannies to help with the childreln, plastic surgeons, trainers and stylists, if your full-time job to was to invest in yourself physically, you could look like this too. It's astounding how many think they look like this just by virtue of who they are. Football and scantily clad dancers has always been the norm in the NFL. So on that level I'm not sure what all the fuss is about. It's always been about money, power and sex.
1
Remember that’s JLo’s job to look and be glamorous. To achieve that she has hordes of personal trainers, nutritionists and stylists. And good luck to her she looked gorgeous and sexy. Have to keep it in perspective.
Just try.
“Most mornings, things are pretty chill on my Facebook feed.”
That’s your problem, Jennifer. Facebook.
1
Two groups of armored men smashed into one another. Then, a 50 year old woman in sequins spun a stripper pole.
Meanwhile, our Republic is crumbling and the planet our species evolved on is dying. Sorry you feel judged by the trash you choose to watch.
3
Get off the couch, Jennifer. Go to the gym. Get fit and feel happy with your body.
15
I kinda liked Bea Arthur . . .
4
C'mon folks. Give her a pass. She's a woman of color. Let's not fallback and resort to privilege.
5
I suppose for me the disconnect and therefor the opprobrium is really between what women want to think about themselves and what women want men to think about them. Men want you firm and symmetric and they always will. The secret is to stop caring about what the other gender thinks and just go with what you want. The reality is of course that the other gender will keep wanting what it wants and we'll all be less happy for it.
3
There is no question that society's definition of physical beauty has been bestowed upon some and not on others. I wouldn't expect anyone else to look like J.Lo and neither should you. I appreciate marvelling in her beauty, others may not, others cannot. But make no mistake, her combination of beauty genes, diet, exercise and self-care don't hurt either. As hard as it may be for most, just try and work toward being your best you!
10
I thought that Gen X’ers we’re celebrating diversity in feminine perfection? That all women of all sizes are beautiful and we were eschewing Madison Avenue’s years of advertising indoctrination that women should all look like Victoria’s Secret models.
Lopez is worth $400 million. Yes, I am sure she works hard to maintain her looks. But $400 million buys a lot of couture gowns (designed to enhance), botox, plastic surgery, hair extensions, glam squads, ad nauseam... Lopez is supposed to look good, it’s her job.
As for me; (a former model in my youth) I just hit 60 and am finally comfortable in my own skin. Probably more so now than when I was younger and more attractive. For with age comes wisdom and beauty is truly skin deep. You go J Lo, I am not comparing myself to something completely unattainable.
16
Jay-Z is also 50 and no one says anything about how great he looks anytime he headlines this or that. His praises are sung based on the merits of his work and performance. Enough with the double standards. Note that performers ages are only mentioned when said performers happen to be a female- double edged sexist-ageist sword. Shakira and Tom Brady are the same age. The masses aren't loosing their minds by how well Tom is holding up. His performance and value aren't linked with physical beauty in relation to age. Enough already
19
If SNL considers Pelosi’s body an eight (not) then one can only image J.Lo’s body rating is totally off the scales.
5
But the problem is, Ms. WEINER, that JL does not look that good from a male perspective, and her performance was more than a trifle "ennuyeuse,"as if we were all supposed to love what she was doing, since after all she is a woman,"d'un certain age,"and sous entendu,she is beyond disinterested criticism!But for many, if not the vast majority of t,v, watchers and fans in attendance, how many would not have preferred to see the ROLLING STONES on stage rather than Ms.LOPEZ. "Hippy, a wide derrriere, and a genuine lack of talent"is the way ABH would describe JL. Gracie Slick,lead singer of the Jefferson AIRPLANE, when she reached her middle years,and had stopped touring, explained in an interview: Who wants to see a 54 year old woman,( which she was at the time,) jumping around on stage?"WHO indeed? Ms. Slick, having made the adjustment to the inevitable deterioration that comes with age, has taken up oil painting!
3
Honey, she's a PROFESSIONAL dancer. it's literally her JOB to look good.
Let's quit trying to compare ourselves to Hollywood elite who have access to nutritionalists, trainers, doctors, hair stylists, plastic surgeons, and anything else money can buy.
This is an old hat. Look at it through the capitalist lens through which this all exists. Money. They sell you unhappiness so you give them money for their product. Round and round we go.
14
Tina Turner looked better when she was in her 70’s and still rocking short skirts, very high heels and packing sold out concert venues.
Everyone can set their own standard.
Stop the hating. Shakira and J Lo looked good and they are professional entertainers . It’s part of the show and it is an important part of their image.
17
If it makes you women feel a tad better, men at the gym do have some of these insecurities, and the best way to motivate them to train harder is to have fit women there.
As for J Lo - she spent 2018 learning to pole dance as a stripper for her movie, Hustlers, so why not get one more performance out of that effort?
7
This is good writing and as a 50-something, made me smile. However, let's give Jennifer Lopez a break. She is a dancer by trade and their bodies are taught and fit. She danced wonderfully and she has to look good to keep performing. Just like the football players keep themselves in shape to try to keep performing well in the football game. Can we just give it up for Jennifer Lopez for looking beautiful and fit, dancing well, being full of life, instead of feeling personally threatened? And, yes, still feel comfortable in our own bodies!
17
you are supposed to look that good all the time.
2
Author Jennifer Weiner seems to want it 'all ways'. She imagines others being unjustly critical of her body shape (as if anyone really cares) while she opines jealously towards JLo. And of course (social justice to be served) she moans about how men have it differently.
Very typical opinion piece; imagine injustice, tick the victim boxes, all the while being self-obsessed.
11
Woman being jealous of another woman's looks? Never happen. Only her plastic surgeon knows for sure.
Reminds of what a wiseguy dispensing wisdom once said: Don't get serious about a girl before you checked out her mother. If her mother is still hot at fifty, there's a good chance the daughter will be too.
Can we remember, while we talk about insidious beauty standards for women, that y'all were watching th SUPERBOWL?? You wanna see frighteningly impossible bodies flaunting their brawn, you found the right event. It's sad, but at 50, J Lo has already outlived most of the footballers themselves. She straddled that pole so you'd get lost in your own dysmorphic thoughts instead of focusing on the physic repercussions of our country's favorite sport on the men who play it.
Have we forgotten Jane Fonda? Tina Turner?
2
Weiner is putting so much emphasis on this woman's body, with no social commentary on the impact to young girls and adolescents. How is this in the NYT? It should be in Cosmo or something.
12
I checked out the half time show on you tube. Really, I found it flat. The twerking routines by both women were overdone. A little passé pole dancing and nothing else. Yes. J-lo’s body is astounding but surely there was more to it than that? No match to the show Beyoncé put on.
6
Answer: Yes. Please.
1
I love you. Thank you.
2
Are you serious? Men don't whine about not looking like Brad Pit or, for that matter, some potbelly John Goodman. It ain't a guy thing. If we say it's a girl thing we get crucified but it seems it is a girl thing.
2
We (women) are our worst enemies. This is all self inflicted: the self-loathing, the judgement, the gossip, the drama. Lighten up everyone!
12
Great article! Now where are my nachos?
As a middle aged man I didn't find J-lo attractive but bizarre looking. I wondered, "Is that her underwear she hadn't secured?" It's sad to see someone desperately clinging to their youth as they age. She's got a great figure but I'm compelled to wonder at what internal cost, a vapidity no doubt. I found my eyes drawn to Shakira like Mary Ann vs Ginger on Gilligan's Island.
5
Oh gaaawwd, get over it. J Lo is too busy taking names to care about how HER body makes YOU feel!!! Any shame you experience because of JLo's excellence in her field is fully on you. Her costumes were glorious, her performance, entertaining, and she was obviously having fun up there. Try it!
2
With discussions like this, women become their own worst enemies.
10
In the age of #metoo, and the angst of objectifying, let's write an article on a women's appearance and not one word about her work.
5
If you are worried about looking as good as J Lo at 50, it's your mother's fault.
Answer to your question: Yes. Get to work.
Regarding her outfit—
Remember SPANDEX is an anagram of EXPANDS
3
One of the joys of getting older is to finally graduate from the high school mentality. Grow up.
5
The headline really doesn't capture the column, which is a sensible relatable musing about not judging.
2
Live your life, get off FB feed: you care too much about what people think about you. Especially because no one really cares about the others in this world where people, like you, are so self centered that even a Super Bowl half time show becomes a judgment about the viewers feelings! Grow up: your not a teenager anymore.
2
Stop objectifying women!
4
Everything was fine until they sensationalized stripping and degraded woman with Jenny on the pole. Disgusting way to portray women and an affront to parents trying to teach children moral values. Not fitting for the NFL or the family hour on tv. Imagine having your daughter say she wants to ride a pole like J Lo at the Super Bowl.
10
I see J Lo for what she is: obsessed with fame and her image; obsessed with appearing young and sexy. I feel sorry for her kids. And I feel sorry for any woman who admires and wants to emulate her. She is fake and phony, inside and out. Can we please move on?
4
Would the author feel better if J Lo gained 60 pounds, developed a bad complexion and lost all her money? If anybody would feel better about that then they're quite horrible. Go J Lo.
5
And then there’s Madonna. Can you redo that Magazine cover story in which you obsess about her age?
https://www.theguardian.com/music/gallery/2008/jul/30/madonna.popandrock
1
Everyone wanting to look this good at any age, should head to the gym and spend there a minimum of 6 hours weekly lifting weights and cycling. If you don't make this investment over many years, don't complain about society, but yourself. You need to be strong and fit regardless of your sex.
Otherwise, a fun reading piece!
2
Too bad you chose to take someone else's hard work and talent and make it about you. Grow up and be happy with the privilege you have.
5
Best antidote: get off Facebook! Why are we all on this platform, led by a person who has no scruples, morals or character? Why? I got off FB a few years ago, when I got tired of Zuckerberg apologizing for the umpteenth time, about how he didn't mean to misuse our data....oh, come on. He knows exactly what he's doing, and his chummy relationship with the person who inhabits the White House is more reason to quit FB. I promise your life will be simpler and less full of these stupid distractions.
1
Really? With all that is going on, this is what you focus on? It is trivial and narcissistic.
4
“I Feel Personally Judged by J. Lo’s Body”
As they say, that’s YOUR problem.
2
i can't believe I wasted one of my 10 free articles on this. It should have been a facebook post and not a NY Times article.
4
Newsflash - nature is a indifferent, cruel monster: when she's not gifting the fortunate (mostly fortunate at being driven to achieve...) winners with spendor and riches, she's indifferently torturing the losers. (actually, nature doesn't care, the losers torture themselves)
Beautiful, sexy women are a force of nature.
This article has denigrating comments about men, generically labeling us middle-aged males as "lumpy, balding, graying, potbellied men," among other punitive asides.
I wonder how things would go over if we broadly described aging females with the slant in this piece? Don't believe me? Try switching the genders in Ms. Weiner"s article and see how it reads; It wouldn't be published, I'll wager.
Accurate or not, broad gender descriptions are not appropriate in 2020. And in the New York Times to boot, champion of gender issues!
Look, I enjoyed the humor in this article, I am able to laugh at myself, and I love comedy...it's the DOUBLE STANDARD that I'm complaining about. Not fair if biased towards men or women. I encourage to NYT authors to avoid gender-specific negative labels.
2
1. I find the meme about Rue to be disrespectful and tacky. And look at her....she looks great!
2. Jlo's bodysuits were not really all that "revealing". What looked like flesh was actually fabric and contoured/designed to enhance.
3. She's very strong, and talented, yes. Just like any other dancer who has worked to keep in shape, even at 50. Not really all that unusual!
1
It's all about context. Hot girl in lingerie on a stripper pole? Maybe in a Vegas casino, or at Burning Man. But at Super Bowl half time? We want real rock stars. J Lo and Shakira are talented, but after 15 seconds, kind of boring. Beautiful sexy women in their 40s and 50s are not rare.
5
I am going to assume that this entertaining column was tongue-in-cheek and that an accomplished woman is not comparing herself (badly) to a professional singer, dancer; athlete? After reading a lot of comments, I just wanted to say that "good health" (something I teach all patients how to achieve) shows-not just in the labwork we check; but in someone's physical appearance. Get rid of inflammation and leaky gut and your skin will look more radiant. Normalize your weight by doing just that- and by making healthy food choices, having a "good" microbiome that supports optimal metabolism, and so on. Take supplements to support optimal health, weight, and even promote collagen formation. Spend your "esthetics" budget on great skincare, not plastic surgery. It's very possible to look AMAZING over 50, over 60 and over 80/90! I'm talking about amazing---- for yourself-- and your spouse-not for anyone else. People like to look in the mirror and like who/what they see. It's part of our culture as humans and it's not going to change, despite the comments about focusing on inner beauty. I see some of the sickest patients possible and do you know what they ask me as soon as they're feeling a bit better? Dr. Crawford-what's your workout routine, your skincare routine and how can I look younger, get thinner and so on. So-I tell them. No matter how sick someone is-they feel better when they look better. Please don't shoot the messenger. And-for the record-I adore JLo and Shakira.
2
I thought "MeToo" and Democrats rejected the idea of objectifying women based on appearances.
2
Perhaps the Niners should have started J.lo and Shakira for the 4th quarter.
It might have gone like this:
Announcer #1 (Pete) – What a turnaround for the Chiefs down by 10 going into the last quarter and now they are up by three. What is coach Shanahan going to do?
Announcer#2 – (Kyle) – Wow he’s doing something right now Pete. He’s taking Groppolo and Bourne out of the lineup and replacing them with J.lo and Shakira.
Pete -Boy howdy, just when you’ve thought you’ve seen it all. Is that a regulation uniform they have on?
Kyle – At this point who cares? Ok the ball is snapped J.lo o is fading back, and the Chiefs are breaking through, Jalo shakes of one tackle, she shakes off another and now she is shaking her way into the pocket. She spots a receiver down field.
Pete – It’s…its Shakira and she’s all alone on the 30. J.lo launches a sexy sixty-yard bomb. Shakira jumps up.
Kyle – She’s got it, she got it. She shakes her way past one tackle, she’s at the 20…the 10 touchdown Forty Niners.!
Pete – Wow Pete it looks like Shakira is climbing up the goal post.
Kyle – J.lo is climbing up on the other one. And now they are dancing on the post in between.
Pete – Wow and look out as the entire Niner team are holding hands and dancing in a circle around Shakira and J.lo.
Kyle – It seems to be some sort of ancient fertility dance.
Pete- I’m looking forward to the victory parade.
Kyle – It will be the first time a Superbowl MVP wore heels.
Ms. Weiner, congratulations on coming up with a topic which is both worthless and guaranteed to get readers. Well done.
3
You know who impresses me?
Greta Thunberg
4
Her misappropriation of Bruce’s Vietnam protest song “Born in the USA“ was repulsive.
2
we literally watched the lead singer of Maroon 5 take his shirt off and flaunt his abs. Whats the difference?
I love Jennifer Weiner and this article was fun.
Jennifer; I think J-Lo has spent quite a lot of money on her appearance; I'm sure there's been quite a lot of "work" done. Most of us middle agers look nothing like her for lots of reasons.
I agree about the pole thing and the back-up dancers did look quite orgy-like. The truth is, her voice is somewhat weak and she needs to beef up her performance with a lot of other things.
4
I don't think JLo looked especially good. Women covered in paint and spackle always seem desperate. Especially when they are booty-shaking and crotch-flashing. I understand there was some intent to make a political statement but the act was so muddled it came across as an assault with deadly gibberish. The entire thing was an embarrassing anti-feminist mess. It was an insult to women and men alike, and a depressing lesson for children.
7
A sad confession...
We as women have to STOP attacking another woman because of her physical look and stature. This article is appalling: attacking J Lo because of how she looks at age 50. The answer to the title of this article is NO, author, you are not required to look like J Lo. You never were required to look like her. Look like yourself, embrace yourself and be happy for others.
I agree with drwo (from 1 hour ago) that a man would never write this article - that a many would be upset about another man's looks or physical stature and think he has to look like that other man.
STOP IT Jennifer Weiner. The article makes you sound like an immature whiner.
I am 60 years old and so I know what I am talking about. I do expect to look like J Lo, or any other woman, and if anyone told me that I should, I would disagree strongly and then end the discussion. I like myself and work on "my" areas that I want to work on.
Praise and celebrate that J Lo shows that a 50 year old woman is just as vital, powerful and sexy as a 30 year old woman. More power to J Lo! And more power to all woman embracing and celebrating ourselves and our bodies!!
1
Is this necessary? Who cares about any of this? Why is America still run by the self-conscious prudes (male, female and everyone else) forcing their moral beliefs on all of us.
How is J Lo about you J We? America is a land of people policing each other. It’s sad.
3
The show was a perfect example of why our society is so misogynistic and we have the need for the #metoo movement, simply exploitation of women. don’t I sound like a good little angry liberal. Buzzwords and all, nauseating. Jennifer Lopez has led an embarrassingly promiscuous life, “dated” countless men including basically young “boys” Compared to her age who are dancers in her show etc., some might find her appealing I find her repulsive. To each their own she’s in it for the money and in my opinion has Very limited talent, she dresses In street walker outfits and shakes her body around, beyond that her talent is questionable, I don’t know anybody who has ever said darn, have you ever heard that Jennifer Lopez sing what a beautiful voice, Whitney Houston she is not!
6
Hey, I thought she looked terrible -- and that pelvic thrusting and domanatrix (sp?) motif were disgusting and not my fantasy.
Give me Audrey, Bonnie or Michelle, please.
It just sort of summed up our Sick Superbowl Sunday: A combat sandwich with warrior women in the middle presided over by billion dollar owners who couldn't care less about how many of their gladiators will break their heads in more games every year.
Don't think everything is about you Jennifer, it's an indictment of America, or at least 100 million of us.
We turned it off so our perfect granddaughter wouldn't get brainwashed. Remember what Chris Rock use to say: "Your job is to make sure your daughter is not doesn't end up on the pole."
5
J Lo's body has nothing to do with yours. Don't compare.
Stop sweating the small stuff. This is nothing.
Love this article. Thanks
Who cares about J Lo’s body? Why are women forever obsessed with their bodies? It’s so sad and pathetic.
1
I feel offended by the title of this piece.
When I hear women looking outside themselves for affirmation I cringe. It’s a rabbit hole you’ll never escape from. I’m a 42 year old woman who loved the show and it’s enthusiastic showcasing of Latinx culture. Loved the American/Puerto Rican flag cloak. Loved seeing both male and female dance troupes. Loved it all and only felt inspired by these women who can move like maracas. I’m gonna dance extra hard in my Zumba class this week. Thank you, ladies!
1
I may be the wrong sex to comment here, but when the writer states as a common place fact - the lumpy, balding, graying, potbellied men...who eat plates of nachos watching football - who's being judged now? Young lady, get over it. It's not worth commenting on. This is not new. And it's not just now. Remember jane Fonda at sixty? Or Dolly Parton at any age? I can go on but I'll stop counting. It doesn't matter. Only you do.
Oh good God. Jennifer just let me know there were topless selfies posted on the internet!! Being a once hot blooded male, age does cool the blood but doesn't make you blind, I cut and pasted into the "Google bar", Emily Ratajkowski. She's emaciated! Everyone's taste to whichever gender attracted to varies somewhat. And if we're old enough, we've had the experience of a strong attraction to a person until they opened their mouth's and spoke. While not on par with what women feel, but this is starting to hit men too. Come to think of it, when I was young, Burt Reynolds posed nude for Cosmo. I suspect Cosmo didn't ask Ed Begley Sr.
Maybe just love yourself.
Are we not objectifying women and their sexuality ??
#MeToo
2
I had to look up Emily Ratajkowski to find out who she is. Yep. A revealing confession. ha. Dance tops the list of Alzheimer's prevention activities! Just dance. Pole optional.
Yesterday the NYT headline was a positive
"J. Lo and the Power of 50 - At the Super Bowl, she proved “dress your age” has no meaning any more."
Today this. "I Feel Personally Judged by J-Lo
You folks are in love with the sound of your own voice...it's all fantasy people, just get back to work.
1
ALL the football players, and ALL the Superbowl half time performers past and present come from perhapsthe less than 0.001 percent of our population. (feel free to add your own estimate.) In other words, one might say that everything---EVERTHING--including the ads-- are essentially abnormal. Something to keep in mind....
2
Great article, it reminds me of Marlene Dietrich's late-career stage shows.
Dietrich, alone, flawless, commanding the stage in nude illusion columns dripping with beads, no back up dancers, no pole, just pure presence.
Looking arguably better than J-Lo in her sixties (depending on your aesthetic) certainly more elegant and dignified.
Oh wait, I'm a man...NACHOS!!... durrp
2
I hate to break it to you, but a lot of us in our 50s have very hot bodies...this isn't anything new.
8
It is striking how much attention is being paid to Jennifer Lopez. Shakira is the one who is an absolutely amazing dancer and it wouldn’t matter if she came on stage in sweats because she is truly talented. Ms. Lopez is a much better actress than a dancer.
1
Yes, we apparently are. And in HD no less.
People feel judged by how beautiful and strong these women are? really? What does she have to do with you? This is what these women do and wow do they do it well-just as Ruth Bader Ginsburg and Elena Kagan do what they do well-is that intimidating as well? Are we to become a nation of mediocrity where everyone gets a prize just for being a person? Oh wait a minute I think we are already
2
My, aren't we sensitive these days?
I've always felt that women were from Venus, while men were from Mars.
Elizabeth Warren is 70, looks far better including her face which doesn’t have a vacant expression.
1
Basically it's kind of horrible. Jenifer Lopez has little to actually say besides "I got the role because I'm the best." Quite seriously, those were her words. While the art of dance is wonderful, the exploiting of a heinous issue right now by showing children in cages (onstage and glistening) shows how depraved and subliminal our marketing base national culture is. Take a closer look folks.
No way.
You should see my great aunt, age 103. You will never recover.
1
Is everything about you? Is it possible for you to experience anything in life that is not immediately judged in relation to your expectations and experience? I suppose not. That is called "narcissism."
2
Get over it, and put that phone down.
"You won't believe number 8!" LOL! This was a fantastic column.
Good grief lady. I've never looked like JLo, never aspired to, and never cared. I'm 69 and healthy and happy.
Did you ever consider her looks are her occupation. What she chose to do with her life. No one is lining up to hear her views on world peace, or what's on her mind. I can almost promise she works out every day, has to carefully watch what she eats or drinks and worries about every gray hair, facial sag, extra pound and everything else she thinks might detract her from being cast aside by a newer, younger, more fit version.
(Presumably) you've been living, and earning a living based on something other than your looks. Or is the paper going to cast you aside when you can no longer do pole squats.
Get a grip
1
“...look this good,”?
That’s part of the problem: defining that type of appearance “good” and different body shapes and sizes and texture (winkles or not) “bad.”
Jennifer (both of them) should know better.
Hmmm... I just felt impressed and liked the shininess and enjoyed talking with my husband speculating about lip synching and wow, she's 50... why is this such a cataclysmic event that people think that they need to change their idea of age, or judge JLo for not being Elizabeth Warren. They are both impressive for different reasons, why measure them against one another? Or say snootily that J Lo can't write a novel... well I can't sing! Wouldn't it be a boring world if we all aspired to the same pursuits?
You’ve made quite a few generalizing “women do dot dot dot” statements that do more to reinforce limiting stereotypes than to provide any amount of insight. There are MILLIONS of women who do not concern themselves with the laundry list of petty minutiae you claim women en masse obsess over. Perhaps shifting your gaze inward would help?
1
Yes, start exercising.
I love how the Victoria's Secret show was canceled, but this is okay. I do find the hypocrisy funny. It's either body shaming or glorified. It's either impossible beauty (attained by many surgeries, not Whole Foods, mind you all) or girl power.
Personally, if you have to find validation to continue living through the Botoxed millionaires on a halftime show, your life is missing a lot more than looks. Why is it always the audiences that never watch football unless it's the ultra-commercial Super Bowl that are the ones to force their ideologies onto it? If you can't name a player, don't watch.
The thing is, J Lo doesn't look that great. She's still fat after all those workouts and surgeries.
1
Maybe women should stop caring what a half time performer looks like. I'm a 30 year old man and I'm fatter than every non-offensive lineman on both teams Sunday. I haven't been feeling existential dread over it.
1
I hope Jennifer Weiner doesn’t let the pendulum hit her in the head, it will be swinging the other direction soon enough. The worst message that can be passed around that we are victims, that others can judge us and we should judge ourselves by others. This is like the Kurt Vonnegut story, “Harrison Bergeron” where anyone who has a some special quality is handicapped so everyone matches the lowest common denominator.
1
The Super Bowl is one of the most unhip affairs in the world of entertainment. J. Lopez is wonderful, we all agree, but the dinosaur called American football is one of the few venues that would showcase a half-time burlesque that even Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin could easily recognise. Women. American women, don’t trash yourself over the likes of the Super Bowl. Any critical thinking person will see the half-time show and the football game that’s played every five minutes or so, for what it is; a pathetic circus of endless advertising, laced around a thuggish game of little or no consequence.
5
The short answer is yes!
Just to reassure the author. Bodies don't judge. That is what the person J.Lo would be doing by using her brain. And no, you are not supposed to look in any way good or bad, now or later. But you are supposed to think about the message you are sending out to men and women by posing this question. I thought women are waking up to their independence from this nonsense. This feels like back to the dark ages.
It is so sad for me to think of all the thousands and thousands of little girls watching this and thinking that this is how they should dress and act. I found this show incredibly sexist and disappointing. Jay Lo and Shakira didn't have to expose their bodies completely giving the message: you(meaning men) will like me only if I bare myself and act like someone's toy.
3
Women are evidently incapable of supporting and celebrating other women without some sort of judgmental qualifying statement, and in my opinion, women are the largest barrier to other women's success. Very sad.
4
Only in America would there be a column like this. Just proves the joint is about celebrity, celebrity, celebrity.
1
Two words: Billie Eilish. SHE is the future, not these two. No matter how good a show they put on or how "good they look" (for 50 or 40 in Shakira's case). Bring on the talented youth that propels the art of music forward, not stagnates like these two. When you're a musician and you're doing a MEDLEY of your work instead of new, dynamic work, you're done.
2
Wow, who cares? I'm fat and going to be 55 years old this summer. I stopped artificially comparing myself to female celebrities a long time ago. I'm happier now than when I was younger and more insecure about how I looked to other people. Plus, no one was clutching their pearls when Tina Turner made her 1980's comeback looking hotter than ever and she was in her 40's then. Enough of these ridiculous comparisons to female celebrities. It's their JOB to look the way they do, they get paid to look that hot. So, good for you, Jennifer Lopez, and Selena, for showing us how great we can look regardless of our ages, if we want to put in that much effort, time, and money into looking that way. As for me, I'm relatively content being my average American woman overweight, lazy couch potato self!
1
Did you see her costume? So provocative!! The way she was playing with her hands around her crouch was phenomenal. All this makes you think she is more than she is. But hey, don’t get me wrong. I loved every second of it.
Like a physical trainer in a gym, this is her job. Be kind to yourself.
2
If your body is an integral part of how you make your living, and you have JLo's resources to devote to its care and maintenance, and you have her genetic make-up, and looking "good" to you means looking like a highly sexualized Barbie, then, yes, you are.
When oh when are women going to stop comparing? Geez, the best thing about getting older is I stopped doing that! Watching teens and pre teens doing this comparing stuff breaks my heart! And where did they learn to do it? Come on people, stop comparing and judging. Such a waste of energy and time, enjoy being happy in your own skin, be kind to others and teach that to young women.
1
I don’t understand how a topic like this gets real estate, even for the Opinion section, rather than issues of actual import — problems in dire need of a spotlight and/or thoughtful analysis. It’s no wonder newspapers are dying.
1
Helen Mirren!!!!
3
Really, Ms. Weiner?! Do you always take public performers as your role model?! Take a lesson from the male fans of football: do you hear any of them whining that they don't look like the pros?!
2
Most things too good to be true usually aren't true. Look at Lance Armstrong. I'm regularly subjected to women going abroad for all varieties of plastic surgery. Why they feel compelled to undergo unnecessary surgery in a foreign country is a serious question. Why they feel compelled to speak about it in my presence is a personal question. I don't need to know about your 25 year old daughter in-law's unexpected trip to Barbados. My day would go just fine without that information.
I feel the same way about J.Lo as I do about Tom Brady, Brad Pitt and George Clooney. We could throw in Paul McCartney, Bob Dylan and the entire Rolling Stones to boot. Go away. Youth is for the young. If you can't figure out how to be respectfully old, you really don't belong in the spot light. Jimmy Carter is a man who knows how to age gracefully. Nice person. Philanthropic. Keeps to his own business. No one would ever expect him to pole dance at any age.
Ms. Weiner hits upon the stranger thing though. Men better accept aging whereas women feel more judged by it. Despite being unfair and unhealthy, the contrast is curious.
I'm perfectly okay watching 24 year old Patrick Mahomes accomplish athletic feats I will never accomplish in my life wearing basically nothing but a jockstrap and shoulder pads with women sitting next to me.
Watching a 50 year old woman pole dance basically nude makes me strangely uncomfortable though. Like really uncomfortable. Attractive? Sure, I guess. But should she be?
Seriously, just keep dancing and eat vegetables. Forget the angst.
1
Missed it. Had better things to do.
Why are we talking about women's bodies in public performances? Guess the MAGA folks really love beauty contests and judging women by their looks and body type.
Judged is not a feeling.
Il faut souffrir pour etre belle--I really doubt most people are interested in suffering what she does to look like that at 50
I read the headline and laughed. Over 2/3 of Americans overweight, over 1/3 clinically obese. What a nice distraction for everyone. Blame the whole thing on someone who looks after themselves.
5
Great last paragraph. Gag-inducing headline- what gives? Sarcastic jokes don’t really translate, maybe?
And BTW - I aspire to emulate Bea Arthur too, but I believe she was 66 when she won her Golden Girls Emmy, so saying she was supposed to look like 50, whatever that means, seems unfair.
- Grateful for the opportunity to stay healthy, active, and engaged.
1
This article seems to be written by a 12 year old. It's ridiculous to feel "Personally judged" (which is different from feeling bad for not looking as great as X person does) by a woman's body, a woman that has invested a large amount of effort, energy and money to look like she does.
1
I immediately image-googled Emily Ratajkowski.
No one should be intimidated by how J. Lo or Brad Pitt look. The bigger picture is just being the best you. That means healthy diet, exercise, don't smoke cigarettes and go easy on the rich desserts.
Are we really supposed to look this good at 50 now? If at all possible . yes! Signed: all straight men
I have to start lying and tell everyone I'm 70. That way people will think I look AMAZING too. ;)
2
I see an excellent R&B performing artist. Why put it in a solely sexual context? It speaks more of the writer, and their hangups.
Really, good for her--YOU do not live off your looks and voice as those two Latinas do--
ask them--its a huge job to look like that, even if you have the genes to start with
By 50 you should know how to handle your insecurities, don't you think
Why do women do this to themselves?
Stop comparing yourself to other women. I guarantee JoLo has a fitness coach, cook, nutritionist, hairstylist, makeup wizard a god knows what else, to make her the illusion she is.
If you saw her in the morning without makeup chasing the kids off to school, you would feel better.
Just be you. I'm a married man, but if I had to choose a Jennifer, I would take the author, Jennifer Weiner. Your beautiful.
Brad Pitt looks way better with his shirt off than me and I never woke up feeling bad about myself. Woman need to stop this kind of comparisons and thoughts. Celebrities look like this because it's there jobs to do so....Are you a professional athlete? Do you feel bad that you dont look like a NFL player? No! Wake up...
....yawn.....and when she pays my mortgage, or helps raise my children, I might give her a second thought.
2
Oh please! I feel no envy after hearing her speak.
3
This is why women shouldn’t govern, all they care about is looks.
Well, if you want a sextravaganza in the USA today, this is it.
Jo Lo to be commended for agility, but the whole thing stinks of male perspective, and really makes one wonder when all these talented women (not just J Lo) will say "enough!" and perform using their talents pretty much clothed as most male artists. Sure, it's not what sells, but if we don't start, it never will.
(Can you imagine the mail artist of your choice wearing skin tight, revealing clothes, shaving hair in lower areas ('cause you can't wear the revealing clothes otherwise), plucking their eyebrows, wearing a garment around their chests that's about 3 inches less around than their chest circumference (the tight band is what hold up those perky breasts_, wearing shoes that tip their center of balance and make them walk/dance on their toes, and I could go on, but geesh, it's so tiring.
1
Really--you believe that any woman should compare herself to a wealthy celebrity? Lopez has undoubtedly had plastic surgery on every surface,and is covered in entertainment grade Spandex.
If I could afford what she can afford, I would look better than old JLO.
I will throw in that I am truly appalled that she dressed and performed pretty much like a stripper, and then surrounded herself with little girls in white dresses,including her own child.What a sucker punch of a message to those young girls.
1
Give me the money, I'll get you same body like she got. From same store, even.
That dance was in Miami, where Latino and Carribe cultures have melted together. These cultures encourage their women to be ecstatically rhythmic when in a celebration dance, and because they're women, they look sexy. I assure you both JLo and Shakira were thinking one thought when their dance was done: "Thank goodness we made it through, signaled all the important signals we wanted to, and can eat now." Only dirty or narcissistic minds believed that was about older women feeling sexy -- no doubt, JLo and Shakira will be shaking it in your face when they're 80! It's not about you; it's about their beautiful, expressive culture. Time for white America to grow up.
Funny how a white woman writes a column about how judged she feels by the body of a latina woman, when latina, black, asian, native american and women from other communities of color have always felt that their bodies are judged by white standards of beauty.
Well what about Jane Fonda? She is over 80 and still has a better body than most Americans, male or female. She could still rock those striped leg warmers and thong leotard from her book cover from the early 80's.
2
Her face (and figure) is/are her fortune -- so she better work to keep that in great condition. And she is professional about it.
I am 53 years old -- I get mistaken for a 43 year old. My secret -- I never worried about my skin, or wrinkles and didn't slap my face and clog my pores with every advertised aging cream or with make-up. Or perhaps it is this thing called DNA .
I don't think my joints are quite as limber as J Lo's ( that's my DNA for sure) but I am slighter built, yet strongly believe tunics are the way to go at my age.
She is a gorgeous looking woman, but that's why she gets the headlines -- nothing new here.
Anatomy is NOT destiny. Or so it was said.
Why are women so afraid to compete and commit to self-improvement? Men don’t look at Jason Momoa and fret and worry that they can’t compete. Men hit the gym and improve themselves the best that they can. And if they’re lazy and whiners then they’re losers. Women need to learn from men that competition and self-improvement is an American value and provides one’s life with purpose.
1
There are no ugly women. Just poor and timeless women. So, JLo's not 50: JLo's a cyborg. 50 is my mom. And it is sad we get to consider looking old as some kind of flaw and the cyborg as a desirable goal. The author nails it here: "I can acknowledge the time and money that went into their creation." That's all there is to it.
Anyone can make anything an issue. Seems more like projecting her self doubt.
1
First of all, inner beauty matters and it shows. There's a price to be paid for all this unless you're incredibly blessed in other ways. Nature abhors going away from homeostasis and it comes at a cost.
That said, I've seen Prince in concerts and I used to admire how great he was at movement, like Mick Jagger. Then I later found out it was all due to drugs. I then found out why Michael Jackson couldn't do all those moves he did in his 20s without drugs, etc.
Now Jagger does seem to be healthy. But he does look worn out. Again, luck and I think some skill - there are certain ways of moving, etc. that make you look younger/faster without exerting yourself. These people learn the tricks of the trade.
Again, I will state that what people show on the outside isn't necessarily what is happening on the inside. I really hope J Lo and Shakira both feel as good as or better than they look on the outside (purely healthwise, no aesthetic comments here).
You think you've got it bad at 50. Wait until you see the bodies (and minds) of the men earning a living on the field before and after JLo got to DANCE on it. Hint: they won't be "lumpy and balding", but they'll be broken.
How come there were no 50+ yo male dancers in her entourage. I found the show boring - how many times are we going to be subjected to these acts of (mostly) young people gyrating around the stage simulating sex acts? These acts and the commercials seem to send the message that the path out of the low-income trap is by being good at a sport or at singing and dancing. Most young people will never make it in either. Why not have role models tell the kids to hit the books rather than think that they can make it if they try hard enough. In sports, if you aren't the best in your high school, you have very little chance in the pros. Even then, you'll have to have a second career (selling cars?) when your three years are up.
2
J-Lo and Shakira broke the Bowl! As a 60 year old woman who has been athletic most of her life, I see J-Lo as both a reflection (with somewhat better hair ;-) of myself at 50 and an inspiration at 60. At some point joints wear down, hormones wane, and the effort of staying in-shape escalates. And granted, Ms. Lopez has a lot of incentive and no doubt a stable of support to help her stay athletic and limber and in performance shape, but you can't deny that she is a force and an example of what's possible. Does she look great? Yes. But it's the grace and range (of motion :-) and dedication that inspires. Do women feel intimidated by female marathon runners? Distance swimmers? Those women at the tennis club with worn and sagging skin in their skirts who can still serve an ace at 70? Don't think so. So get off Facebook and get onto the treadmill, to the yoga class, on the bike, on the horse, on the skates - whatever - just get moving. And thank the women who got you moving.
1
So before the game they play the national anthem and it's all serious as if some great patriotic event were about to occur. Then at half-time they turn things 180 degrees and it's all erotic dancing girls. Football is a fascinating and addictive game to watch but imagine how bewildering it would all be to an extraterrestrial who happened by.
3
Are men also permitted to publish what “women think”, without the fear of a “sexist” label? I thought the writer captured it all well!
You really should be watching the Puppy Bowl with the kitten halftime show anyway.
Looking like that is Jennifer Lopez's full time job. If it were your full time job you could probably approximate it. Do you feel equally judged because your tennis game isn't as good as a professional player's or because you can't cook dinner for 100 people at a time the way a professional chef can?
Jennifer Weiner seems to be living in 1957. Her whiny, ridiculous comments about basically "giving up" as she turns 50 are appalling; I assume she lives in 2020 and knows that women are remaining sexy and vibrant and groomed as 25 year olds...I find all of her columns to revolve around her own issues of weight and aging, etc. and she's mired in ancient dogma. Which is why I've never read her chick-lit light books. Jennifer Lopez' job is to maintain her body and face, and she's had ample plastic surgery, injectables and body work that bear this out. She's a lazer focused performer whose ambitions are outsized....bravo to her but for Weiner to whine about how she's making "real" women look bad is just pedestrian and the equivalent of "mom-jeans"... Ugh.
1
Take heart, though, good chance that at 50 most of us will be/are secure enough not to need to wind ourselves around a stripper's pole wearing a leotard requiring double-sided tape to stay in place. It's impressive to look so good at 50, and dance so well at 50. But what's more impressive is being secure enough not to feel the need to be an exhibitionist.
2
Nobody will be watching. ;)
I would have loved if the Super Bowl halftime extravaganza was a dance off/shimmie off/strut off amongst Jennifer Lopez, Shakira, Mick Jagger and Bruno Mars. A little something for everyone!
Why would you care? It’s not like your her BFF and she’ll be at your 50th Birthday!!
BESIDES her body, I'm jealous of her stamina and her memory! I'm 52 and in decent shape, but I could not execute that choreography - requires cardio and memory skills that I no longer have.
3
When I was little I came home and cried. I wasn't one of the popular girls, had not been invited to a birthday party like so many others. I wasn't pretty enough I sobbed and complained about how unfair life was to a nine-year-old girl.
My Grandmother sent me to my room. She asked me to think about my future, she asked me to write down what I would like to see on my tombstone in a faraway future. "If all you want to be is being pretty then go for it."
I thought about it for a long time. I still wanted to be beautiful one day, but I wanted so much more. Intelligence, humor, being loved and respected just like Grandma. All of a sudden beauty was no longer important.
Today, also in my 50's I am beautiful, at least in the eyes of the only man who counts. I love myself unconditionally -inside and out and take care of myself.
Still, I would feel terrible if people would judge me by the look of my bootie, or how pretty I am. It's just not for me. Do I feel imitated by beautiful ladies? No, I assume it might be the other way around.
1
My 10 year old grandson asked me to turn the channel because he thought the performances were too provocative. And they were for children his age. Most folks over 50 will not have opportunities to wear bikinis and such-but we can admire from afar those who can.
Shakira's smiling face was youthful and joyful and full of love, and the children in cages part was meaningful. I also liked the Latin jig near the end. Otherwise there was not much joy in the music or dancing and a lot of posing. They practiced a lot and are in good shape, but I wasn't transported or changed or moved or uplifted, which are the sort of things I look for in art, dance, and music. Too many snippets. But good people. And yes, maybe I was transported to the gym.
2
take care of yourself and develop good habits in your youth , stick with it, and chances are that you will look and feel pretty good through all stages of your life.
Many people look much older than their years due to habitual neglect. There are plenty of 50 and older! women who are as toned and fit as JLo but just without the hair makeup wardrobe lights action discipline work ethic and talent !
I thought the Shakira JLo performance was fabulous and a reminder that most of us have way more potential than we realize.
1
I think the author misses a key concept, Lopez is a product, designed to sell music, part of that product is looking like she does. Think of all the women entertainers, 99% of them look fantastic. She would work hard for that body but that's part of her job description. Most other people have different priorities.
1
No doubt we'd all look a lot better if we had to, the way performers do, at least women whose careers have been built by extremely good looks as well as talent. We'd all look a lot better if we spent the time and money on trainers, machines and plastic surgery. For the rest of us - life intervenes and we have better things to do with our time and money than worry about how young we look. No "civilian" wins this game.
I sometimes reflect...two hundred years ago, and more recently, many women had never seen a beautiful person. Attractive, yes, pretty, yes, but beautiful women are very rare and unless you travelled or lived in the relatively small number of big cities, beauty was rarely seen. Now it’s everywhere on mass media. It seems normalised, though in fact it still remains rare in the general population. Whereas once you might have compared yourself to people in the neighbourhood, now you compare yourself to Scarlett Johansson or Lupita. It’s not a fair fight. The same applies to men, but even now women’s looks are more of a commodity than men’s looks. Men are still valued more for other attributes - intelligence, courage, place in the hierarchy. Even recognising this at an intellectual level doesn’t always stop the disappointment and the dissatisfaction. The bombardment is so relentless.
2
Whatever you think of the music and/or choreography (merely ok creatively, fairly well-done executionally, definitely athletic, but nothing special overall), Ms. Ripoll and Ms. Lopez clearly eat well, prepare assiduously, and work very hard. What's wrong with those values? Good for them.
1
No big deal! I’m 62 and look just as good, if not better, than the subjects of the column thanks to going to the gym regularly, meditating, and eating for optimal health (my adult life). I’m always amazed by persons who are amazed at what it takes to stay healthy and fit. Quit complaining, and do the work if you don’t want to look/feel like a train wreck later in life. PS. And no, money doesn’t buy it.
2
It's soon after 50 when it becomes really difficult to maintain. Menopause does on a number on you. Of course, more money spent on one's looks than you or I can afford will do wonders! But still, only up to a point.
1
I know plenty of 50 something year olds that are very fit and trim, even more so that Lopez who is more of a curvy type, and some who are a bit broader. Lopez has one job as the saying goes. What else do you expect?
1
Keep in mind J-Lo has been kept like a well cared for pet. Her body is her moneymaker and that moneymaker is tended to by trainers, chefs, and assistants.
I can never understand why women obsess so much over their or other women's looks. I would hope that by age 50, most women would realize that there are so many more meaningful things on which to focus their time and energy.
1
I think Americans assume that w age comes inevitable weight gain but that doesn't have to be true. I was thin in my 20s and I'm as thin but actually more fit now in my 50s -- and not because of cosmetic procedures or insane workouts or crazy diets -- but because I've found exercises I love and I eat mainly a simple but yummy whole foods diet. Portions matter too, and restaurants often way overdo it on these, so try to stop when you're just about full, you can always take home leftovers and enjoy them later. Getting enough sleep and water, and even meditation to calm anxiety, also help. This prob all sounds harder/more awful than it is...but maybe start w one good habit, then add others in as you go. It's worth it...and so are you :) Hope that's helpful...
2
Yes, you are supposed look that good at 50 IF you exercise, watch your diet, sleep well, etc.
2
If everybody looked like JLo (or ARod for that matter), JLo wouldn't be a star. Marlene Dietrich was a knockout in her 50s too. If celebrities don't look better than we do, they're not doing their jobs!
1
The author of this piece is experiencing what is called "compare and despair". However, she seems to believe this phenomenon only happens to women. Trust me, there are many men who are not reaching for the "nachos". Millions spend hours in the gym, thousands of dollars on personal trainers, protein shakes, weight-gainers, and fitness magazines in an effort to slim down and/or bulk up to get the same body as their favorite celebrity or athlete. Some resort to using steroids. Some develop eating disorders or bad habits around dieting and exercising. This is not just a women's issue.
1
Regarding the comments about staying in shape, exercise routines, etc. that people like JoLo and pro athletes do.
It leaves the impression that we are all built on the same frame with the same stuff and if we just exercised more, or worked out the same, or had the same toning, diet, etc. we'd all look like JoLo or Tom Brady and if we don't look like (fill in the blank) its our fault and we deserve to be ridiculed for it.
Somehow genes and the fact that our frames and forms are different are lost. We can't all appear as the highest form athlete or performers no matter what we do. My frame and form are different from JoLos and nothing is going to change that. My genes for appearance, hair, and aging are different.
We are all different. That's just the way it is.
Back when I was 69, in the spring 16 months after my quadruple bypass surgery, I looked at my 40+-pounds overweight body and decided I had to do something about it.
A spring, summer, and fall of mountain bike riding, focusing on longer and longer uphills starting from 7,000 feet elevation, where the air is already short on oxygen, and I was in far, far better physical condition than JLo is at 50, and 52 pounds lighter, at 153, than I was when I started.
And I still could not have competed with the hard-core mountain bikers up here. Yet, JLo could never have dreamed of keeping up with me.
However, I had the time. I'm widowed and work only part-time. It was easy to set aside the four to six hours, three to five times a week, for the cycling and at least an equal amount of time in extra sleep.
And how do you think JLo spends her time? I'd bet hours per day on exercise and practicing the physical parts of her routine, probably 5-6 days a week.
Because that's her job.
Go ahead and envy her if you must, or focus on being sexually appealing to younger men. But it seems like a silly use of a good mind to me.
My guess is that there were a lot of, ahem, "props" and good makeup, as well as a personal trainer and hair extensions to help Jennifer Lopez. More power to her. I had heard about the show, and was looking for the empowering piece but never really saw it; it seemed the same version of what always happens--shaking hips, skimpy outfits....If these women want to perform that way, ok, but I hope not many kids, especially young girls were in the crowd. The point of being female is not to "shake your booty". Now go ahead and wear stage makeup, "shake it", and do whatever you want; it will not influence who I am as a woman. The point is that we each get to define that for ourselves.
1
I loved the show. JLo and Shakira are amazing women. They obviously work hard.
I feel that our country has so many amazing women, I pray that in my lifetime, I will see a woman president.
I am 65 so there is not a ton of time left for that dream to come true for me.
1
Upon reading the title of this article, it was clear to me the author would likely present an argument that blames men for her feelings regarding J. Lo’s performance. I knew I was right when I read the line “The answer, I think, is to watch these types of performances like a man.” And let me clear that’s not entirely wrong. It’s true that men have largely shaped the institutions in our society to benefit themselves and ultimately place women at a disadvantage. This includes pushing women to adhere to unreasonable body standards. HOWEVER, the male perspective Weiner takes is extremely problematic. Belittling men down to simple-minded, nacho hungry spectators who lack the ability to have self doubt is the reason men feel emotionally unsupported and sheltered. Throughout history, men have been taught to hide their emotions which perpetuates a society where men are significantly less likely to reach out for mental health support. Weiner’s article correctly displays the unfair body standards women face, but does so in a way that swiftly disregards the feelings men have.
2
Yes, J. Lo is rich. Yes, she has personal trainers, nannies, and cooks. But let's not forget who she is and where she comes from. She's not just a pretty face and a pretty body. She's the Bronx-born daughter of Puerto Rican immigrants who were not wealthy and who actively discouraged her from her chosen career path. I think it's a safe assumption to say that her family could probably could not even advice her on how to succeed in American society, without even speaking of the world of entertainment. This is a woman who had to overcome tremendous barriers to Hispanics in entertainment and who probably had to put up with a lot of racism, sexism, and discrimination for being a Puerto Rican woman from the Bronx. Despite these obvious obstacles, she rose through sheer determination and hard work to become one of America's wealthiest and most influential women in entertainment -- to the point that people seem to forget where she came from and what she represents for many Hispanics in this country. J. Lo is the personification of the American dream. She's not only a performer but I would say has an uncanny marketing and business sense -- without even having a college degree. She not only mastered the playbook against all odds but now she's subverting it by being 50, gorgeous, and still successful, and by using her fame as a platform to highlight injustice and inequality. She's doing it in her own terms and there's a lot of power in that.
5
One problem with the women's movement is crystalized in Ms Weiner's contrast between the expectation for women past forty and those for the "lumpy," "balding," "pot-bellied" men. Not one woman in a hundred will see anything wrong with this observation. I do, though. Women feel free to mock men's appearance on any pretense. But if a male writer in one of the world's best newspapers said something analogous about everyday women (maybe with a "sagging" thrown in), it would be condemned. There's the justifiable demand for equality, but with the semi-conscious proviso that women most be treated more gently.
By the way, I'm not very interested in Jennifer Lopez's well-preserved body (though it does make her more pleasant in some movies) than in what people who have to deal with her say. I don't read fan magazines, if they still exist, but even I have read how disdainful she is of the hotel help (she won't speak directly to them, using her assistant as a sort of English-to-English interpreter right there in the same room), and she won't talk to the help on movie sets. It makes it harder for me to appreciate her in a good movie like "Parker," where her appearance is pleasant and just a little sexy but, more important, her character is engaging and charming. Knowing she isn't really LIKE that distracts me.
1
Yes, she looks amazing for a 50-year old (woman or man) but I bet she spends what I make in a year on trainers, meal prep and skincare. I'm just jealous.
1
Why are otherwise excellent women writers so often reduced to writing about body image? If we women can't move out from under this frivolity and stop comparing ourselves to one another every time we turn around, we simply cannot advance.
I started to read this oped, then decided to watch the entire show for myself. I found it a tour de force of entertainment. I also didn't feel threatened, but enjoyed the power of female sexuality in truly adult women. But what I also felt that Shakira and J Lo were trying to make a statement entirely missed by media. Singing "Born in the USA". a Springstein quote, while interspersed with a medley of Latin American music and dance themes, and spanish language songs, can only be interpreted as a statement for latinx civil and cultural rights. In the contest of a failed impeachment, and an about to be failed democratic caucus, I felt like cheering for their energy, liberalism and skilll, not feeling inadequate that I can't compete.
3
This year I celebrated by 10th consecutive year of watching The Puppy Bowl at halftime. Given the absurdity from both sides in wake of this halftime show, I intend to continue watching The Puppy Bowl at halftime for many more years to come.
I may be able to swallow an article about how this kind of imagery is concerning when exposed to children who are learning what is "normal".
But no, I don't think grown women should be especially affected or distressed by how other women choose or happen to look. I am far more inclined to judge the woman who complains (for weak-mindedness) than the object of her complaints.
I would point out to Weiner that I'm sure there are quite of few 50-year-old writers who have jealous feelings about whether they should have accomplished what she has by her age, but that feels like a pep talk suited more for a person closer to 15 in age than 50. Why would anyone compare her body to a life-long dancer's unless they are also a life-long dancer? And then furthermore imply that not looking like a life-long dancer at 50 is some sort of act of feminism.
She's supposed to be better than everyone else. That's why she's the halftime show at the Super Bowl. And don't think that men don't have twinges comparing themselves to the superhumans playing with that ball. We just don't think we can do anything about it.
My first impression of this variety of dancing is it is corporate. The overtly aggressive, muscular fast pacing feels like being punched around. It's like so much else in the media and our collective behavior. Loud noise and flash. The commercials and the game atmosphere are exact replicas. The message is subliminal, conform by purchasing what we're selling or else you lose. JLo is a perfect messenger.
1
Yes, I feel the same...I'm near 71, a male, and yet I'm always prejudged by my appearence.
I know, I look as good a Jay-Lo, but I can't keep all my wife's friends husband's hands off me! I never had this much of trouble, back in the army, serving under Custer, whilst he was still a Colonel.
The key is to not focus on how JLo looks, but rather how she acts. She is absolutely 100% full of life. Aim to be vital. Aim to move every day -- she does. Aim to dance and enjoy it -- she does. Aim for vitality, not beauty. That's a pretty great way to live.
These women are an inspiration to everyone to get in shape. Walk or run farther and faster, do hundreds of squats/lunges/pushups/crunches each week, swim, dance and yes, skip meals here and there in favor of a piece of fruit and plenty of water.
1
Folks, the comments here that show contempt for Jennifer Weiner's lament miss her point. She's not telling people to stop exercising or not to care about their looks or health. She would never have written this about any ordinary person who happened to be blessed with good genes and an iron will to work out. Rather, she's pointing out that the irony that the history of impossible media and cultural standards for women's beauty -- which, I hope no one here will deny exists! -- is not, in fact, redeemed by the media spectacle of a 50 year old who can exceed them, but in fact are in many ways intensified by that. It's an excellent point about the exhausting messages women and girls constantly receive in the media. No one is telling you to get fat.
1
Mrs. Weiner,
If your title's prism was the one were ought to measure life by, after reading your resplendent article readers would have to tell themselves the following:
"I feel personally judged by Mrs. Weiner's copywriting. Are we really supposed to write this good when we are adults?"
The answer to both your question and my invented quote, is a plain no. No we are not supposed to look or execute anything like anyone else.
20 years ago, maybe no 50 year old lady looked like JLo. But what's more interesting to me, is that 20 years ago, the tendency to feel personally judged was non-existant compared to what we can find today within our communities and country.
Nobody is judging us, specially because we are too busy judging ourselves.
There is no denying Jennifer Lopez’s celebrity status from all the different mediums her talents and abilities have taken her. I would argue she is an elite celebrity covering that wide variety on her resumé. But when so many people are so heavily invested in her success those people in the back and front office keep cranking her productivity and expectation levels to peaks we as plebeians think are impossible! Let her Super Bowl performance showcase what an elite mentality, an elite work ethic and elite belief in yourself could give each and every single one of us. Time is the arbiter of our age but our actions are the ultimate arbiters of our future.
Pop culture rules all. The deep thoughts of a Gen-Xer.
There is a very practical side that may help with your perspective. People (male and female) whose job is to look that good, be that fit, etc., as their professional duty and path to success will. "Beauty" might be a bit trickier in that maybe we once could have or did look that good, but truly maintaining the optimum health of every muscle cell, hair, pore, brain cell, etc. is just not the first priority of anyone that is not paid to do that. Likewise, men don't watch football players and think I once was or could be strong and fit like that. Well, not most of us. So, cast your envy, remorse, shame, or whatever aside and enjoy the fact that you've excelled at whatever you chose to do, and dip another chip with abandon!!
J.Lo is a professional dancer. Just like ballerina Misty Copeland.
A professional dancer is going to put in 30-45 minutes on weight training, 30-40 minutes on cardio training, and then four to five hours a day of dancing.
I don't hear people complaining that they feel judged for not playing piano as well as a professional pianist, so why feel judged for not looking like a professional dancer when that is not your profession?
Does J.Lo. feel judged if she can't string words together with the skill of a professional writer?
There are only so many hours in a day for us to devote to our professions!
1
That says more about you than anything else.
I never wished I was Jennifer Lopez. Not her looks, not her singing or dancing, not her partners.
When I was a preteen I envied other girls for their looks and bodies. I outgrew that, thank goodness.
Now I admire strong, intelligent women that can change the world.
Finally, an honest thought about who drives women's looks and women's clothing and the judgementalism that comes along with all of it.
Women do.
What fabulous insight- men watch 22 other men who are in peak physical condition and yell "bravo- kindly pass me another dozen chicken wings."
Does this mean that I should feel awkward at the sight of anyone who does something much better than I do?
This is supposed to be a humorous article I know, but it does get at the root of our problems in America today.
The Super Bowl epitomizes all that is wrong in our country from casual violence and loud mouth hyperbole, to mindless consumption.
It’s too bad that the author is trapped in her “social media community” like someone in The Godfather family that cannot escape.
Peer pressure is an incredibly strong force and if you do not learn to get over it in college you are lost.
People from my generation learned a way out from Bob Dylan’s song To Ramona.
Unfortunately they did not take the song to heart and the people who went to Vietnam and to Woodstock became the people who voted for Reagan.
We still live in the Age of Reagan and we are doomed until we can get back to the economic and personal freedom that FDR gave us in the New Deal Era.
Worry more what your body can do and what your metabolic panel looks like than whatever you look like J Lo or not.
Exercise is good for any age and gender.
I turned the game off sat halftime. That is not football- that is Panae et circuses.
of course, football is too, but it was the title game.
Think of it as a health choice, not an appearance choice. Eating heathy and getting exercise will at 50 make you feel very good. As a by product you’ll like what you see.
I understand that there is some sarcasm in this piece, but I also loathe people who are constantly looking for excuses to not try and take care of themselves. They spend so much effort demonizing those who do put in the work and effort. Looking good and staying in shape has become sort of an anathema in the United States these days; people seem much happier eating their chips and ice cream and crying about the unfair advantages others have. We have embraced mediocrity and wrapped ourselves in a blanket of self-pity.
1
Ms. Weiner, you wrote, "We’ll wait ’til the crowd goes home, and we’ll dance like nobody’s watching."
You should tell your twitter followers to quit worrying. At our Superbowl Party with about 30-40 men from 17 to 76, half time was for eating, drinking, lining up for the rest rooms and wringing our hands about the 49ers mediocre performance. I did not watch it and if any of the men did, no one talked about it. Itw as all just noise.
Just so its not lost on women, Jennifer Lopez is an entertainer and having a fit body is her personal goal. She could have decided to slow down and take on a different segment of entertainment or marketed herself as older entertainer and not try to compete with younger women. Or she can continue to chart her own course like Madonna did and ignore the comments.
In my opinion, women should quit worrying about Ms. Lopez and move on.
1
The performers might have been offering up alternative takes on The Little Engine that Could, though in both cases their cabooses appeared to be driving the train.
You are giving her more power than she deserves. I'd take a brain or the opportunity to write in a newspaper (not about this) over that body. The fact that these shows have to feature entertainers that highlight their bodies or specific body parts is actually bad...
Please remember she’s a celebrity and needs to look good to keep her in the public view. I think all things change when women go through menopause and Jo-Lo is almost there....
It's not that hard to be fit and trim at any age. It doesn't require that much time, good healthy food is cheap and easy to cook, and sports and exercise are fun. It's just that most people are really physically lazy.
1
It seems like a lot of commenters are making a mountain out of a molehill. They have to put Jlo down because she looks so fabulous and is so fit. It's true that she works hard at it because entertaining is her business, and her genes have a lot to do with it. She has always looked fabulous. The criticism is bordering on pettiness.
1
33% of Americans are obese, and another 33% are overweight. We are in an obesity crisis folks. Someone feeling "personally judged" by Jennifer Lopez's body, and comfortable enough to express that in an article that will be read by millions, is a clear symptom of just how far away we are from learning how to actually deal with this health crisis. Suggestion: turn that sentiment into action and become a healthier person. Don't let this sentiment go to waste.
She is a bit on they heavy side but looks great at 50.
I feel personally judged by Jennifer Weiner's Facebook feed. It's way cooler than mine. My Facebook feed is mainly filled with last week's comments about Charles Lieber's arrest and new recipes. Why? Chemists rarely overreact.
Why would you even think about this? Who cares? I told my daughters, while they grew up, you can not judge yourself by media standards. No matter what you do or look like it will never be enough. Don’t let them control you. They just want you to spend money and be subjugated to what they say, is the male ideal.
If J-Lo takes the stuff A-Rod took, there should be no surprise in how she looks. That's the cruel take, the truth is there is a world of substances and treatments that the elite class has access to that regular folks don't.
If you think it ends with a private fire fighting unit hired to keep away the flames that are burning up a middle class neighborhood down the road you were probably dazzled by the halftime show.
I’m waiting for early 60s style to come back.
In any case, most posts here sound like the excuses given at an early weight watchers meeting! If you’re way over weight and under sports-ed, it’s because you’ve chosen to be that way! It’s not your age or the kids or the busy day and lack of money—you just feel better fatter!
Jennifer Lopez and Shakira were absolutely phenomenal. And I’m a fifty year old female. Rock what you got.
I just wonder how much JLo was paid compared to the accompanying dancers
I remember Tina Turner's star turn at Live Aid- more than 30 years ago, now. She made 50 look pretty good, too. Better than Mick Jagger did. But it doesn't last forever, you've got to enjoy what you've got, when you've got it. Because it doesn't last.
I truly hope that Jennifer Weiner was smiling when she wrote this column. Because anyone near 50, or well past it, as I am, *has* to know that somewhere is someone smarter, cuter, funnier, better at cookiing, dancing and math than they are, or anyone they know. And if not today, then tomorrow.
I've outlived Mozart, and Hendrix, but they were better musicians than I've ever been, or probablly ever will be. I still love my life, I still practice. I can somewhat control what I put into it. I have much less control of what I get out. Thus passes the glory of the world.
She is a star, an actress (whatever). It's her job to look good, do you have any idea how much money, time and hard work goes into this image?
This is not about your body image but hers.
Let it go... we have other things going for "us regular folk" like time to spend with our families and friends. A nice quiet life without having to go crazy over an extra pound gained or a wrinkle! As far as I am concerned, she can have it.
The article is well written and argues perfectly plausible opinions and conclusions. How unfortunate the title is, however. It sends the message that it makes sens to feel personally judged by an accomplished professional performer doing what they are best at.
Do you also feel personally judged by Michelangelo's talent when you look at its Pieta, or by Jeff Bezos's success in business, or by Stanley Kubrik's film-making, or by Alan Turing's brilliance?
I LOVE THIS ARTICLE!!! At age 48, I thought exactly the same thing when I saw J Lo. Really? I was prepared to try to stay in some sort of shape, but don't I get to stop fighting cellulite and the 10 extra pounds and -- oh come ON!!
And my husband with his 50 extra pounds definitely watches Matt Damon and other 40-somethings without an ounce of guilt! (And secretly thinks he is actually hotter than they are)
Hey - you can look that good - just work at it. You don't need fitness consultants, and you don't need the plastic surgery. Just exercise and eat right. If you can't do it, just appreciate those who can and set an inspirational model for all us: J-Lo at the Superbowl or the bare chested 56 year old Brad Pitt in Once Upon a Time in America. If you feel personally judged, it's only you doing the judging. (And for the record, we men do care about how we look. We're mostly just at peace with how we are.)
I am much older, but look on this woman (J-Lo) as tasteless and silly. Lots of plastic surgery there. I had my own tummy tuck at 45- it felt good to have a flat tummy, but I didn't share it with so many people.
Part of the tastelessness is the only need to dress like that is for men.
2
Get off social media & look around you. Or better yet, if you have a spa in your area where ladies are naked, go there. In the Seattle area there are a couple of female only spas where women basically walk around naked. It's a great place for females of all ages to realize that our bodies come in all shapes and sizes. Age is only a small piece. Genetics and the experiences of your body also matter.
Personally I think J Lo is awesome. Has been really fun to see her on Saturday Night Live and Hustlers recently really seeming to enjoy herself. Good for her.
JLo isn't the first to prove it can be done. Jack LaLanne beat her by decades. It's a simple formula: two hours of sweaty exercise a day, perfect sleep, don't smoke, don't drink, and don't eat garbage food. Every. Single. Day. No exceptions.
This reminds of the Roosevelt quote,
"If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit here by me."
Not sure on attribution.
Assuming J.Lo found a Tibetan doctor, fixed any health issues using Tibetan medicine and adhered to Tibetan Health Science in terms of diet and nutrition, it is quite likely her body would look healthy and vibrant at 50, to wit, the Dalai Lama. It's quite a simple system that works.
That said, she's likely on Keto or Atkins or living on salads and chemical cocktails that are are available from the twisted world of reductionist Western Bioscience.
Unfortunately, all those roads—while seemingly short-circuiting mother time—lead to the same destination and outcomes: heart disease, premature aging, diabetes, etc.
It doesn't take a rocket science to note the obesity rates in America correlate to an increased spending in diet fads.
Anyone can have J.Lo's body at 50. Everyone has the programming in their DNA for vibrant health at 50. The problem is a trillion dollars of advertising and misinformation designed for extracting profit from the confused.
Here is achieve you're best J.Lo in a matter of time:
Stop eating out. Eat three hot, wholesome, homemade meals every day. Drink warm boiled water before and while you eat. Don't drink for an hour after you eat. Axe the sugar and alcohol. Eat very little meat. Eat a variety of healthy foods. Stop eating cold food and salads. Learn how big is your stomach and leave 1/4 empty at each meal.
No "diet" necessary. Just change your habits.
Do all that and you'll be looking as good a J.Lo in a matter of time—guaranteed!
Don't be J Lo. Don't be Blanche. Be you.
Halftime was terrific entertainment. A celebration of women, girls, Lebanese and Latina culture, and dance. Why does everyone get crazy when women celebrate their sexuality? They've been doing it for centuries.
1
I might try harder to look like J-Lo, if the guys would try to look like Brad Pitt!
But that's never going to happen. I recall my fave Cathy cartoon from decades ago:
Cathy and her girlfriends sit on one side of a pool. They're reasonably sleek and fit in their bathing suits, as they giggle at the guy across the way--a bucket of lard in a speedo, who is ogling them. "Euuu, eek! He makes my grandpa look good!"
Meanwhile, we see the bubble, showing what the ogler's thinking: "Hmm, that blonde one looks tasty! I might date her--if she'd just lose ten pounds!"
Face it, women. Guys will always think denial is a river in Africa.
1
As a male watching these amazingly talented performers is was less sex than sexy and more virtuoso dance than exhibitionism.
Whether this is anything to emulate or feel denigrated about I think misses the point. It was a performance by pros whose very jobs relate to physical excellence and skill. Just like the guys on the field.
In any event wether they deserve a respect beyond physical admiration depends on who they are innately and what will be said when gravity takes over with age. As for "shakers", Ive seen enough of them taking selfies of their booties in the gym every day. I hope their is more to them and the males who do the same, flexing as they slow walk through the equipment
As for admiration and sources of emulation, after my wife, I'll take the notorious RGB and Tina Turner, any day....
Thanks Jennifer. My sentiments exactly, especially the contrast between mem and women's reactions to the show! Now pass the Nachos and hand me a Stella!
Were those toned thighs? They looked spandex-trussed to me. Either way, JLo was marvelous.
I cannot believe that the NYT has allowed the publication of a text like this, of course, everyone has the right to feel or think whatever they want, but honestly this "article" seems an expression of a personal and mental problem, if the success of another human being makes you feel judged, it is time to seek help. On the other hand I did not know that the NYT could also be used as a psychiatrist chair for the alleged writers. Can't she not only say "yes, what a great achievement for a Latin woman is to perform such a professional show looking such an incredible figure" ?, it seems that it simply was not possible.
"I Feel Personally Judged by J. Lo’s Body
Are we really supposed to look this good at 50 now?"
No more than you're supposed to sing as well as J. Lo.
Good grief. I do not feel personally judged by J.Lo's body. Or by Einstein's brains. Or by Van Gogh's art. Or Beethoven's music.
But I do feel personally and globally threatened by climate change deniers, deregulation on all fronts, and the current GOP administration and the conservative Supreme Court majority. I could go on.
Get some proportion.
Well said. Great article. Thank you
In America we are so insecure about our body and looks. I just met a woman in Barcelona who was the poster girl in her late teens during the Spanish Civil War for the Republican uprising against the fascists. She has grown careworn and had tremendous stresses, but I think she is beautiful and confident even at her age.
If you are well off, and you have little stress, hire nannies and trainers and eat well, you too can look like Ms. Lopez at age 50 or 60. Men are just as vain as women just that it isn't permitted to show as much off.
Shakira and J Lo wowed me with their performances. Both are older than I am, and as a 5’10” , size four woman, I know I will not look like either of them at any age. It’s not in my genetics, and that’s okay.
I’m also okay knowing I won’t win a Grammy this year. Let stick to celebrating what makes each of us great and focus on fitness for health’s sake.
I’m also pretty tired of the trope that living without constantly berating oneself is somehow masculine. Self respect, like diet, are choices available to everyone.
1
If a very fit person makes you feel "judged", how does a very rich person make you feel?
Did anybody miss the part where Shakira sang, danced, played the guitar and played the drums to what were mostly songs she herself wrote the lyrics and music to?
And here we are discussing JLo's body?
Talent is gender-less. Our inability to appreciate it is also gender-less.
1
Do you feel judged because you didn't look like J-Lo at 20, or because you did, but you didn't take care of yourself?
If you didn't look that good at 20, you won't look that good at 50. But if your picture at the top of the column is any indication, you have nothing to complain about.
Perhaps then the question is how much you want to put into maintenance and improvement. Staying fit enough to remain healthy and avoid becoming overweight is a good idea even if you don't care a whit about your looks. Anything more is optional: effort in = results out.
By the way, I always liked looking at Bea Arthur (not the character she played in Golden Girls). I would have dated her in a heartbeat.
You choosing to watch a game where very large grown men spend several hours trying to give each brain damage between advertisements for beer and you're bothered by how little clothing the half time entertainment is wearing and how good they look in it? Football is a ritualistic form of combat celebrating masculinity, the patriarchy and capitalism. You can watch or not but I don't really think you get to complain that it makes you feel bad about yourself if you buy into it. I would think as a woman accomplished enough to be a contributing writer for the NY Times, you'd have gotten to a point of maturity where the chatter on Facebook doesn't ruin your day but I guess social media reduces everyone to jr high school students.
As we get older, many of us, and I do mean me, appreciate the fact that women with darker skin have won the aging lottery. We palefaces wrinkle and crinkle a lot faster.
But on the bright side, it's empowering the elderly.
1
The Super Bowl is a bunch of men who exercise every day (yes, yes, because it’s their job) making money from the televised use of their bodies. The half time show is a woman who exercises every day making money from the televised use of her body. And yet all I’m seeing from so called feminists in this comment section is how unfair J Lo’s performance is to women. I haven’t ever seen comments like this about men. Shouldn’t we be celebrating a woman who is succeeding? I’m sure many of you complaining about J Lo also complain about women’s value in the entertainment industry decreasing as they age. The fact that some of you have the audacity to call yourselves feminists while putting down a woman who hasn’t done a single thing wrong because you don’t like looking at her body is astonishing. And those of you upholding the stereotype that any good looking woman must not have good values, must not be as smart, etc. should be especially ashamed.
Go ahead, feel judged. Thanks to you and your column, I got to tell my wife, who is also 50, that her body looks that good. You teed me up, so that kind of truth didn't even sound like a lie. I think I'm gold for at least a week, maybe two.
I will say as a gay man who attended an all gay superbowl party, everyone one of us was staring at the athletes like - wait? They are 25? We are supposed to look like that? I promise you, while straight men might not notice the body fat of the athletes, there’s an incredible amount of men who found the athlete’s bodies astonishing and reveled in the two women.
As if the 21st Century needed any more ironies:
Big issue:
How many 50-ish American women are as fit as JLo?
Bigger issue:
How many 15-ish American girls are as fit as JLo?
I didn't view the half-time show through the lense of "what does this say about me?" Some parts were very risque but worse has been seen in primetime, uttered by the current WH occupant and shown by his wife for that matter. I really enjoyed the Puerto Rican/US Flag, the African and Latin inspired dance and the incredible athletic effort put forward by all. Not everything is about you.
FWIW, "J-Lo" does NOTHING FOR ME, looks wise.
Oh, also, talent wise.
Just, nothing there.
I saw the halftime show as the celebration of the objectification of women as sex objects. I'm not saying I don't enjoy seeing Shakira dance, just telling the truth. Guess which gender reliably watches the super bowl? Hint, it isn't women. That the decision to do this kind of a show was reportedly made by women makes no difference .
1
Should J. Lo feel personally judged by the author's writing ability? J. Lo's profession is entertainment, other's cooking, other's writing, science, etc. Be great at what you do, appreciate your abilities, and appreciate the abilities and skills of others.
In 35 years, JLo will be 85. She will not look as good.
In 42 years, Shakira will be 85. She will not look as good.
In 36 years, Scarlett Johannsen will be 85. She will not look as good.
In 42 years, Charlize Theron will be 85, She will not look as good.
It just a matter of when. You can't stop time.
2
I go to zumba. It is the first exercise class I've ever stuck to in my life. When I dance in those classes, I feel like I look and move like Shakira and J.Lo, even though I am a far more Rubenesque and miss half the moves, who cares? I walk out of there having had a good laugh and I feel fantastic. I think dancing has saved my life.
Seeing JLo and Shakira dance gave me joy. They are two women so obviously doing what they love.
Being sexy shouldn't be something we pick on. Just as being born athletic or highly intelligent is nothing to put down. J.Lo and Shakira have kinesthetic brilliance at the Mensa level.
You're not supposed to look like that at 50.
But, you can look like that if YOU choose to eat well, exercise intensely and live a healthy lifestyle.
It's a choice.
It's a lifestyle choice.
You made yours, Jennifer Weiner.
And, Jessica Lopez made hers.
2
She has tons of money for personal trainers, dietitians, massage, body sculpting, nips and tucks. No we are not supposed to look like her. Just enjoy the show.
Yes - you can look this good even if you are not a celebrity. In Santa Monica I see plenty of regular "moms" that walk around in their lululemons walking their kids in strollers looking just as taut and toned as these women. Being "older" or a "mom" doesn't mean you have to be overweight, saggy or out of shape.
Would you rather see an 500 lb male or female instead? Then the SB half time show would be accused of exploiting/making fun of overweight people. Let's be realistic. Humans are visual creatures...we like to look at attractive people.
And the twerking and scantily clad outfits are not new this year. Did you forget what Lady Gaga wore, or Beyonce, or Janet Jackson's nip slip, or even Adam Levine's bare chest and stomach. Don't forget NFL cheerleaders themselves wear booty shorts and crop tops. Why are folks suddenly so offended OR is it because they are Latinas?
Hypocrisy at its best.
"or miss a single chip from the nacho platter" - JLo is also nacho yo mama!!!!!!!
That is on you. Don’t let other people tell you how to live or what matters to you. And it isn’t J-Lo saying “Being sexy at 50 is possible: look at me; if u don’t look like me, it is a fail.” That message comes from people who make money convincing women to buy into that. In reality, women don’t have to have a really fit body and long silky hair at any age to be attractive or sexy. Let’s reclaim our right to be seen as people.
1
I am a fit but wrinkled 65 year old. I didn’t for a second feel judged by the bodies of these women. I thought they were superb performers. As for the male gaze....women don’t try to look great for men...they want to like what they see in the mirror. The female gaze is much more unforgiving than the male gaze.
Anyone can have a thin body if you practice discipline with your portions. Everyone can become fit. Facts!
We are not supposed to look like Jennifer Lopez at 50 or at any age. I didn't look like her at the age of 20, 30, 40 or 50. Neither do my daughters at 30. There is much more to a person than their outer appearance.
41
These things aren't all or nothing, and that's a mistake in thinking about this stuff that so many people make. I'm a guy, I enjoy some nachos, beer, etc., and I realize my body isn't going to be perfect. I also admire the elite bodies of some pro athletes and people like J.Lo. I know that partly reflects their privileged situations, genetics (and often their temporary perfectionist dieting right before something like a big performance or movie part).
I also try to exercise at least 20 minutes a day, at least 6 days a week, and make it a point to eat vitamin rich, high nutritional quality foods. I make some effort to keep my body healthy and somewhat toned and controlled on body fat, even though I have to accept that it's never going to be perfect or superlative in any category like strength or speed. What matters is that I've made and kept myself significantly stronger, faster and fitter than I otherwise would be, and kept myself significantly healthier by having done so.
4
This is the way Ms. Lopez earns her living --- singing, dancing, acting so it is very possible she works on these skills daily and has done so for years with the SuperBowl "look" and routine being the result. And show biz dwells in convincing us we are seeing someone who just naturally looks like she looks. So untrue. Lots of work; lots of makeup and couture to hide or emphasize what couldn't be done at the gym or dance studio; lots of money thrown at that performance.
That the show was embarrassingly not screened for its impact on children was a major issue. Much more than how toned and young Ms. Lopez looked.
22
As I wrote on another thread about this same topic, I have no sympathy for people who think it is perfectly okay for children to watch grown men pulverize each other and give each other brain damage but think that sexy dancing is off limits. I love football, but it is a blood sport. Priorities, people.
Screened for its impact on children? What is the impact on children of watching perhaps the most violent team sport in the world? Of watching gladiators in an arena pulverizing each other and giving each other brain damage? Sexy dancing is dangerous to young minds, but concussions aren’t, perhaps. I love football but I find the whole idea of it being family friendly outrageous. Only Americans are more comfortable with their children seeing violence than sex.
@NextGeneration "for its impact on children" LOL, join the Pearl Clutchers
one must put the equation of real life to-do's. J-Lo does not have to clean, cook, shop etc. has a personal trainer, chef, housekeeper and all the other staff for support. She can 100% focus on her looks and workouts. Don't be hard on yourselves, advantage of precious free time is a gift she has.
15
@toddy merrill
what JLo doesn't do is make excuses.
also, she doesn't drink alcohol.
@toddy merrill
And let's not forget her access to plastic surgeons who have no doubt assisted in the final outcome.
1
@toddy merrill
J-Lo also earned it. Nobody just gave her fame. She worked really hard to get where she is today.
Good article, best writing from it (and I'm a male, so I appreciate this):
The answer, I think, is to watch these types of performances like a man.
Women watch a 15-minute show featuring elite entertainers and, in some cases, end up feeling bad about ourselves.
Men, meanwhile, watch a three-hour game, played by elite athletes with single-digit body fat, and most won’t feel a single twinge of self-doubt, or miss a single chip from the nacho platter.
______________________
I've never understood women constantly comparing themselves to other women, even unattainable ones. I know a lot of guys, not one thinks they should look like Brad Pitt and be athletic as LeBron James ... yet, they'll watch Pitt movies and James' basketball games and enjoy it. What's the problem, gals?
39
@TRS
We're all under the impression that you want partners who emulate women in the looks department, like JLo
3
“The world is designed to take the wind out of a woman’s sails. To fill her with fear about all the ways she is inadequate. We each need the focus and determination of warrior women to fight the tide of self-hatred that comes from living in a culture that devalues us.”
~Regena Thomashauer
Much respect to both these hard-working performers for putting themselves out there and facing the criticism, and for participating in shifting outmoded paradigms.
14
Bette Midler said it well many years ago, when she hit middle age.
"Let's face it. After 40, it's just patch, patch, patch."
JLo is very well patched together.
This was a fun read. Thank you, Jennifer.
12
I've never watched the Super Bowl half time show. I grew up in an era when marching bands complemented the game at half time. The show didn't compete with it. Somehow the shows, which feature scantily clad damsels in provocative costumes seem incongruous with football, but I'm an old guy set in my ways and running far behind many changes in our culture.
So these shows are fine with me. I just take a half hour break.
5
This is a very immature mindset. A grown adult knows that Ms Lopez looks like she does because it is her job, and it's unrealistic to expect the average 50yo to look the same, unless they also have a team of people around 24/7 helping them like she does.
Remember the old saying how nobody can make you feel inferior unless you let them? So the real story here is why you let them.
35
Give the women some respect. They worked hard at a number of tasks to prepare for the physicality of that performance. They're pros and they showed it. Since when did having a great, well-toned body become a sin. Most Americans are, to say it kindly, overweight and out of shape. And besides, it was their job to be fit and ready to perform. They showed what hard work and discipline look like. More power to them.
22
Somehow female ballet dancers manage to showcase their hard won bodies and skills without resorting to pole dancing and crotch shots. It was a trashy performance; cheap and low class despite their phenomenal bodies.
The only people who look that good at 50 are the people whose job it is to look that good.
20
Amen!!
When I was 23, I read an article in (what I now know was) a ridiculous magazine for young woman. In the article it said "you know you're getting old when you watch a college football game and realize that you'd be the older woman in the life of most of the athletes." It's funny ... I know it was daft perspective, but when I occasionally watch the NFL, I often have the thought "you know you're getting old when you watch a professional football game and realize that you'd be the mother figure in the life of most of the athletes." I'm ashamed of myself for remembering a daft line from an article we would now call click-bait. I'm ashamed of myself for thinking "But I can't look like JLo. I have a more than full-time job." Is this an American phenomenon? My friends from Spain, Sweden, France, Australia, India, and China don't seem to have this disease.
8
Loved the women's perspectives. Surprised however that there was, um, a little unnecessary guy stereotyping, though. Nachos, really? We're that shallow? Aw, it hurts. When someone asked me today if my team won the Superbowl, I said, I don't even know who was in the Superbowl. Typical? Yeah, actually. For guys like me. Kudos for realizing that you, as a woman, any woman, at any age, with any body, can be yourself. Me too.
1
Didn't watch the game or the half-time show. Don't care.
However, I've been fascinated, amused and frustrated by the discussion everywhere about women's bodies. Why we waste out time endlessly fueling this fire about age and looks when character is the only thing that should matter?
Shame on us.
6
I fell asleep at half time. I missed the provocative J-Lo and Shakira show and suddenly wondered how the Chiefs got so far ahead of the Niners. I had to turn the channel because I couldn’t stand to watch the inevitable.
I wish that is all that mattered, but male biology holds us all hostage.
My boyfriend, who is a really good guy, can't help himself from looking at women's boobs. All hetero men do even if they won't admit it to you. Sigh.
1
Shakira and Jennifer Lopez and Demi Lovato-made great statements-and they were all wonderful and inspiring. Anyone who feels intimidated or some other nonsense go see a shrink. Why are ppeople comparing them selves to any of them. Think of the inspiration Demi Lovato is to the thousands fighting the same battle and the statement JLo and Shakira made about the beauty of woman and feminism and ageism and celebrating Hispanic and Caribbean culture and Puerto Rico and statements about children in cages etc etc etc -Remind me again why this is a problem?
7
If you seriously feel you are being judged by her body, consider requesting a change of venue...
5
If you think J-Lo looks great, check out Marie Osmond and Sharon Osborne. They're certainly on to something.
How dare some of us look good! Such an insult to the general junk-food-eating public.
The guilt suddenly feels unbearable. All this time I've been going to the gym thereby offending so many! I'll stop eating healthy, will get obese and develop a bouquet of weight-related health issues just so that you, dear Jennifer Weiner, no longer feel judged.
Thinking ahead, I'll go burn my MA diploma since it surely offends many of those who never went for a post-secondary education.
10
Jane Fonda is 80 and looks 40. Every time my wife tunes into,her show on netflix I am reminded that there exists a world where if you have enough money and the will, you can embalm yourself while still alive. It can only be called creepy to watch her perform.
11
@Don peterson Jane Fonda in no way looks 40. What she does look like is an 80 year old woman with a truck load of plastic surgery.
2
Some people are just gifted. I will never have the build of Duane Johnston. I could never throw a 100 mph fast ball, let alone pick the corner.
Do the best you can and admire those whose gifts allow them excellence in performance
3
maybe focus more on real life, less on facebook.
10
Oh for heaven's sake. If you've got it, flaunt it if your career depends on it or if it makes you happy. If you ain't got it, focus on something more important. Jeez.
7
Stop watching the shows. I caught a glimpse the halftime show and as usual, it was boring, uninspiring and frankly grotesque. I personally have little interest in this type of music and/or performance. It does not elevate you in any way. Why worry about what these artists are portraying? Just live your life the way you want to.
7
My wife is 67 and looks waaaaaay better than J-Lo. 48 years with that amazing woman and she still makes my heart skip a beat when she walks into the room.
16
At 50+ years old does it honestly matter? I'm overweight and out of shape and it gets harder to lose every passing year. When I see someone in their 50s, 60s or 70s jogging, working out or playing a rock show or try to dance like they did when they were young I don't feel judged- I feel inspired.
10
JLo is an entertainer
Part of her history is appeal so she maintains her talent and her fitness not to make the author and other women feel inferior, but because it works for her.
With a healthy diet and active lifestyle you can have a physically fit body at any age, it just takes an investment of time and effort.
You have to work for such things and writing this story tells me the work may be too much effort for the author.
8
I do a pretty intense workout 6 days a week. I run for two miles on a treadmill, then I do 10 sets of exercises like burpees, jumping jacks, push ups, etc. I do each exercise for 1 minute intervals with 20 second breaks in between sets. I then lift weights for 20-30 mins, light to moderate weights, one or two body parts (chest and triceps, back and biceps, etc.) each day. I then do a 60 minute cardio kickboxing class. The whole workout takes me about two hours and I burn about 1600 calories in that time. I do this Monday to Saturday, taking Sundays off. I've been doing this for about 5 years. I'm going to be 51 this year. I'm only sharing this to make a point. Just because someone is a certain age, why does that person have to "slow down"? Who dictates what a 50 year old person should or shouldn't be doing? Who gets to decide what type of body a 50 year old person should have? I've been very physically active my whole life and I like being muscular and lean. Why should I give that up because I'm 50, or 60 or 70 or 80? And I should add that I do my workout after I leave my 8-5 job. I get home in time to make dinner for my wife. We're at the point in our lives where the kids are out of the house and we can do more for ourselves. She gardens and works out 3 times a week. I spend two hours at the gym every evening.
Do what you want people. Don't let anybody tell you that you're too old to do what you want, or to look how you want to look.
15
AllI have to say is: One, I'm so glad I spent the afternoon outdoors with a friend, and the evening with my husband watching, in DVD, amazing musical athletes-classical singers and musicians. Two, at 73, fit, healthy-no more fussing about looks.
3
Well, Jennifer, why not look that good and feel that good. As women we should allow ourselves the pleasure of enjoying our own strength. J Lo and Shakira are terrific performers. Their talent and professionalism is outstanding.
3
JLo no doubt has to work very hard at what she does. To me the most revealing moment of the Superbowl performance was at the very and, when Shakira and JLo embraced. The expression and gesture on JLo's face said it all! She had survived a very tough challenge, quite different from Shakira's expression.
3
I don't understand all the negativity in many of these responses. These two women are astonishing, athletic professional dancers (and singers) and they work very, very hard at their craft. Yes they are beautiful, but they are also talented and practice and work out for many hours every day and are careful what they eat. Being able to afford nutritionists, stylists etc. enhances their considerable natural beauty but only their own effort results in the ability to dance as they do. Musicians, ballerinas, athletes all invest most of their waking hours in their craft and we don't condemn them for it or compare ourselves to them. Lastly, they are entertainers; comparing them unfavorably to admirable women in public service or diplomacy is as pointless as comparing ourselves to them.
7
Any level of fitness doesn't require money. It requires commitment. You either want it or you don't.
5
Iyer also requires time and women still shoulder the majority of work at home, even when they work full time. Men need to step it up!
I'm a 35 year old man, and I read this article and thought, "I guess I have way more in common with women than men." But I already knew that. I don't see pro athletes and ask, "Are there more nachos?" I struggle with comparing myself with popular and famous and beautiful men. I know I'm a minority. I'm reminded of it every time I go to a party and have to make small talk with guys I don't know. They bring up sports, and I'm clueless. But I bet there are more men like me with body image issues or who feel like failures because they compare themselves to others for various reasons.
5
Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder.. everyone is uniquely beautiful. Find the person who appreciates that and your insecurities will cease to exist. Own what you have, carry yourself with pride, get fit(at least try to), live healthy (eating fries once in a while is good too :P), drink, workout, spend time with friends, family and loved ones.. learn to laugh wholeheartedly, be kind..
few words of wisdom my parents shared with me. Tried to follow them and met my most beautiful wife who meets every single thing above.
Just saying we all don't have to be someone else..
peace
Except that J Lo’s beauty is in the eye of everyone... not only in the eye of the beholder!
Jennifer Lopez didn’t look amazing. She looked 35. We can all get there but our priorities are not the same. As for the guys, they enjoyed it while it happened and then went to work the next day and moved on to other things.
1
As a 53 yo man I feel great. And I greatly enjoy the company of lovely women my age. We are nowhere near Brad Pitt or J Lo but we still look and feel fine. It takes a bit of work to keep fit but it’s worth it.
Is 50 the new 40?
J. Lo's physical fitness is a combination of very hard work and good genes. maybe after 500 years of genetic manipulation all humans will be as physically fit at that age or even older. but for now no one should be ashamed if they dont present as good a look at that age. having said that it is also clear that no one should revel in the fact that they are 20, 30 or more pounds over weight and dont do a lick of exercise.
1
My wife goes to the gym a number of days a week.
She says maybe those of you feeling inadequate should go to the gym too.
Might not look as good as JLo at 50, but, it’ll be better than nothing.
1
Mick Jagger works out some two to three hours a day. Probably J. Lo isn't far behind if not right on par with the same time commitment to her exercise regime.
Look, if you are willing to put that much time and effort in you will get the same results.
4
Yeah, he once said:” if you wanna move like me, you’re gonna need 2 hours of intense practice per day, and some yoga...pilates etc”. Calm down everyone.
@Illuminati Reptilian Overlord #14 I have to say that scrawny wrinkled Mick - sorry to sound unkind - isn’t a great advert.
Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers were better dancers.
6
My two cents' worth:
Call me a purist, and old fogie, or both, but when I watch a football game, I want to see a football game, period. Does everything have to be a three-or-more ring Roman circus now? I haven't watched a "super" bowl game since the last Lombardi-era Packers team won it. I despise the hoopla, which has grown to nauseating proportions. For the same reason, I gave up attending major league baseball games.
And don't get me started about the SEC now allowing all the piped-in, high-decibel, eardrum-destroying recorded music at college football stadiums. Leave all the music, during the game and at halftime, to the colleges' own marching bands.
As for displays of female beauty at such events, the college cheerleaders should suffice; surely no 50 year old woman should be expected to resemble or feel threatened by a healthy 20 year old woman's appearance. For the record, I think Linda Rondstadt is still beautiful, outside and inside. :-)
4
I found the half time show really enjoyable ... Wow what talent those women have and how they took control of their sexuality on their own terms.. To me that is empowering...As a fitness person I can appreciate the hard work it takes to maintain a body like that and its not just because they have the money. They put in the time because they choose too and kudos to them..I don't look like JLo but I I felt inspired and plan on working hard as well to look good for MYSELF and more importantly stay healthy at 62...
5
I suppose the male equivalent would be Lenny Kravitz. At age 48, I feel inspired and challenged, not judged.
3
JLo is an empowered, talented, gorgeous superwoman who is an inspiration to both men and women. Compare yourself not to others, but enjoy the talents of others. We all have something the other doesn't. I loved it !
4
My takeaway from J.Lo's look is that no one else should dictate what any of us should look like at any age (within reason, of course), which is also your concluding point. No, you're not "supposed to look this good" at age 50 if you don't want to (but if you want to, go for it). You're also not "supposed" to look like a stereo-typical "well-seasoned" person at age 50 if you don't want to. J.Lo looks awesome, because she wants to, and realistically, because she has the money, personal trainers, and time to do so. (Contrary to what some wealthy celebrities say, wealthier people DO have more time in their day than the average person does, but that's a different topic). As a celebrity, J.Lo's image is part of her job. However, we should not internalize someone else's accomplishment as a failure on our parts. I commend her for how she looks, and I commend every woman or man who is happy with how they look, so long as they are healthy.
5
There are some days I wish I could put this old mind in a young body! At no time have I wished to fool Mother Nature or seek to contort my body and will to the task of fooling both Mother Nature and Father Time! I thoroughly enjoyed this essay! Aging is at least somewhat about Acceptance not Acquiesce..
This is exactly what we are fighting against every day with our teenage girls. They live in comparison culture which does nothing but decimate their self worth. I want them to look at models and film stars and YouTube influencers as just that: professional artists. So when I see women MY age comparing themselves to J Lo’s body, it makes me want to scream “grow up.” Why does she make you feel any more inferior than a concert pianist? Why can’t we just appreciate someone’s talent/body/clothing/voice/star power without putting ourselves into the equation? If 50-year-old professional women fall prey to comparison culture, what hope fo we have for our girls?
5
Nobody except twins have much chance of having bodies that look the same, but anyone can have their bodies looking their best but they have to work at it like professional performers like Jennifer Lopez. That is a lot of time and effort every day, but it's their job so they must do it. For people in other kinds of work, devoting that effort may just be not possible. So it's best to consider your own situation and decide what fits.
1
Are we supposed to look like that at age 50? Of course, and at age 20, 30, and 40 as well. We're not supposed to sit on the couch stuffing our faces watching someone else on the tube get up and move. We're supposed to be eating well and finding some form of exercise that helps us look and feel our best. We can do that at the same time we cram our head full of knowledge.
I never ever looked better in my entire life than the day I turned 50. And with a $10 box of "Just for Men" and a gym membership, so can you:)
p.s. A while America stuffed their faces and drank beer watching the Superbowl yesterday, I pulled my big garden wagon a mile-and-a-half each way to a sporting goods store at age 61 to buy a new weight bench for the living room. I'm trying to look 50 again:)
5
I have been watching Super Bowls for a half century and never watch the halftime program. When I returned to the second half my wife said you won't believe this - she replayed the performance. We are liberals, we are open minded, and pro-right and especially Pro-Me Too. After decades of women and men pushing for women's rights; equality; less objectifying and to stop all the sexualizing then at half time producers, choreographers and performers promote Brazilian wax. Really?
4
This 51-year-old rewatched the show on the elliptical at the gym last night and then, inspired, lifted weights and did yoga to a JLo and Shakira playlist. I sang along in Spanish, danced a little, sweated and smiled a lot, enjoying the music, charisma, and athleticism of these performers. I may not look as they look. I may not be able to do what they do. But I do what I can and feel fabulous. ¡Ândale!
7
Several years ago Cher performed in a sleek, semi transparent body suit. My mother in law was horrified and asked me if I would ever wear something like that. My response was, “if I had a body like hers, YES!” BTW, I’m the same age as Cher and I never had a body like hers or JLo’s even in my 20’s. I survived.
5
Totally possible to look that good at 50... if you're very wealthy, have an army of personal trainers and aestheticians, and nothing else to do but to look great...
most of us don't fall in that category?!
2
I turned off the sound and occupied myself with conversation and nibbling snack items. That whole spectacle didn't appeal to me at all. Seemed like a joke.
2
Take a deep breath! Both JLo and Shakira work incredibly hard on their craft! And part of that hard work is appearance! Kudos to both women on their hard work and for having the stamina and skill to give such an amazing performance....
3
I’m not in a position to comment on the writer’s opinions. However, I can say that I watched the Super Bowl at my best friend’s home, with his wife (Ms. O) and family.
Ms. O is in her 50s. I’d rather be in Ms. O’s company any day versus being with J. Lo. Ms. O made us all feel special because Ms. O is the epitome of genuine kindness.
1
If you can afford the army of make up artists, nutritionists, lighting designers, dermatologists, plastic surgeons, life coaches and servants relieving the stress of the daily grind, you should look that good at 50. (and at 60)
A fantasy to look through seriously filtered camera lenses.
1
Taking a wild guess, but I don't think either woman was throwing down the gauntlet for the rest of womankind w/r/t our bodies. They’ve also both been flashy, sexy performers for a couple of decades now. Brava they still have it! There is no competition here. We’re all beautiful and in bodies able to do a wide spectrum of things. If you want to look like JLo go for it!!’ I’ll be cheering for you from the wine bar.
2
Jennifer, that may be true, but it’s unfortunate that you feel this way. You are a highly successful and accomplished author,etc. When I was a boy,I wished that I was a muscle bound guy and not the short and skinny 100 weakling who was picked on.I realized this was ridiculous by early adulthood. But, I know it’s the Sun,Moon, and Stars for many women-regardless of intelligence and profession. I have been lucky to be married to my wife for 38 years and I have an older sister. If your kids are healthy and you are an accomplished person you have a good situation. Be kind to yourself.
1
Really? Since when is J-Lo relevant to any woman of any age is beyond me.
Some women have too much time on their hands. Live your life, take care of, and enjoy the body you have.
I didn't even watch the Superbowl, much less the half time performance.
I had more important things to do.
2
JLo is muscular, strong and beautiful and an example to middle aged women everywhere. I am inspired by her refusal to wear elastic waisted pants, move to a bungalow to avoid stairs and dance around in ads for adult diapers. I am a still a competitive athlete at 59, and I have no intention of giving it up just because most women my age have hung up the towel. Good for her.
6
This is exactly why women should unite and challenge this type of demeaning objectification.
It also illustrates how difficult it is for the Why Me movement to challenge sexist stereotypes in all sectors.
The NFL has refused to acknowledge that on the field concussions lead to brain damaged.
I am not particularly conservative. I do though have a child, and I believe that there should have been advance viewer notification that the 2020 super bowl acts were completely inappropriate for anyone under the age of 18. Triple XXX.
4
If we have someone else to raise our kids, cook the meals, personal trainer , plastic surgery....of course we can look like this at 50. What does the man have to look like?
1
You shouldn't.
And like most things in show biz, what you see is NOT the real thing.
1
Celebrities, unlike we mortals, have to maintain their popular presence, which is their living and existence and their burden. Be thankful, you'all, that your own physique is not critiqued by the rest of the world. Meanwhile, go on trying to make a living and find some pleasure among us other creatures also struggling along.
My takeaway from this piece is that there is literally nothing that women can do that will not be scorned by someone. JLo is fit, talented, hardworking and, yes, sexy. So if she hides her body she's giving in to the patriarchy, if she doesn't hide it then she's shaming other women, if she tones it down she's not owning her sexuality... No matter what she would have done, someone would have been criticizing her for it.
JLo and Shakira are not mirrors for everyone else's insecurities, so maybe we can treat them as the talented people that they are instead of making them something else.
7
Life span is longer now... at the beginning of the 20th Century it was 49 now its 79 and going to become even more in the years ahead.
Put another way J Lo at 50 is what a woman at 30 would look like at the beginning of the 20th Century.
1
I made a comment early into the halftime show about how "feminists won't like this," referring to the sexualization of the performances. My 25-year old daughter quickly read me the riot act: "Mom. Being a feminist is about celebrating being female and embracing our bodies and sexuality," she scolded me. "So what if they are wearing skimpy clothing and acting sexual; men would never be criticized for that the way women are! Women should be able to do what they want without being shamed for being female and sexual." I was silenced and have been contemplating the wisdom of her perspective since Sunday night.
2
@M. Staley
Young feminists are very confused about these matters, imo. They don't have the perspective to see how their definition of empowerment via sexiness is all deeply rooted in what men want, what they have always wanted; what/how men want women to be, what/how they have always wanted women to be.
Plus ca change, plus c'est la meme chose.
And everyone ends up with lots of orgasms but as lonely as ever.
2
1. Do not look down on people because they dance on poles. Teach your kids to respect everyone, no matter what "lowly" profession they're in.
2. Why are we afraid of letting our kids view Jennifer Lopez as a role model? You should be teaching them that beauty is skin deep and people shouldn't be judged by their looks. Just because she dances in stage outfits doesn't negate all her philanthropy and strong female empowerment, something I think should valued by all people.
3. Take a moment to question why you're so appalled by this. Like really. Were we this mad at Gaga? Madonna? Britney?
4
Get used to it. We septugenarians have Suzanne Somers urging us to be hot ...and have sex every day.
13
Amen. I’m 72 and have had to learn how to live my life as an “older person”. It can be empowering since there’s clearly no point in wishin’ and hopin’... I am so proud of J Lo for her performance and sorry the Academy didn’t give her a nod for Hustler. Rock on J.
2
I find Marie Yovanovitch's courage much more appealing than J Lo's physique.
2052
@Enrique Hernandez both are good for women. strong minds, commitment, dedication, strong moral fiber, self care, care for others. what's wrong. j lo's physique is not just a body; it's a mind set. yovanovitch's mind set is also great. we need strong mind, morals, heart, bodies, to protect america against the president who is weak in all of those categories. and the Senate - slimy cowards to a one, female and male.
77
@Enrique Hernandez why are people always pitting women against each other? Nobody every feels the urge to let the whole world know that they find Alexander Vindman's courage much more appealing than Henry Cavill's physique.
123
@Enrique Hernandez
Good comment and so true.
30
Ridiculous. The chances that we will ever see a column written by a man agonizing because he doesn't look as good as Tom Brady or Brad Pitt are about zero. I can't remember any column in a major newspaper asking whether Elvis Presley and his pelvic thrusts or Michael Jackson with his crotch grab were age appropriate. Jennifer Lopez is an entertainer paid to put on a show and it is probably safe to say that if she didn't look great and couldn't keep up with her own dancers, she wouldn't be headlining the Super Bowl. Phooey on the family entertainment issue - football is about men using brute force against other men and, if that's ok for the kids, then why worry about dancers?
1587
@drwo: Believe me, there are plenty of men who agonize about not looking as good as {fill in hot man here}, but men are socialized to keep their mouths shut. I've certainly seen a rise in precisely this over the last several decades as ideals of male beauty have become as common as only ideals of female beauty once were.
But, to answer the question in the teaser line, "Are we really supposed to look this good at 50?," the answer is, and always has been, "No," for the vast majority of us.
I don't know why, exactly, its so hard for people (all people) to accept that the vast majority of us are never (and did never) look as good as whomever we idealize. That's the nature of ideal anything, it's unattainable, but that doesn't mean one should just give up and slide to the opposite extreme. Most of us are somewhere in the middle of the Great Bell Curve of Pulchritude.
68
@drwo we won't see a column written by a man agonizing that he doesn't look as good at Brady or Pitt because society tells women MUCH more than men that our worth is based on our appearance and desirability, when we are much more sexualized, objectified, and pressured to adhere to beauty standards.
71
@drwo i say "ridiculous!" but for the opposite reason. There are millions of males (young and old) aspiring to be as strong/tall/good looking as professional athletes and actors. Ask the males in your life if the overweight boys got bullied growing up.
Take a look at the bodybuilding or combat sports community if you think body insecurity and hyper scrutinizing is exclusive to females.
Elvis Presley was shown from the waist up on the Ed Sullivan show for being too provocative.
It would seem the difference could be in a willingness to discuss it openly. In general men seem to understand the sacrifices necessary to achieve those goals and either make those sacrifices or quietly appreciate those who do (and maybe wish to downplay the roll of the genetic lottery on their own lives)
TLDR, average men feel similar pressures when compared to professionally good looking men, and complaining about someone else's work ethic ignores the agency you have over your own standing, and dismisses the hard work that person is obviously putting in.
24
I watched the half-time show with my 5-year old granddaughter. We talked about how much they had to practice to dance so well and to make a difficult dance look easy and how fit the dancers are and how they work even harder than the football players to be able to dance like that. We discussed how strong J Lo's arms are to be able to hold herself up sideways on the pole. We talked about how many stagehands it took to put together the stage, lighting and effects so quickly and then to take it down. Then we went back to coloring while 22 well-toned men in tight pants pushed each other around on the field for another 30 minutes.
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@Heather She's so fab anyway - not sure why we needed quite such a narrow gusset.
Imagine the 22 well-toned men blasting around in little g strings.
The mind boggles.
19
@Heather Thank you!! Everyone has lost their minds over JLo's performance, her outfits, and her body. So much sheer hostility toward a performer ....performing. Displaying her enormous skill at dancing. So much self-righteousness that is itself so misogynistic in tone. What are we so afraid of here? (I do think she could have skipped some of those camera angles).
Spare me the ranting about her personal trainer, chefs and assumed plastic surgery (actually she doesn't appear to have had any work). She gorgeous now because she was always gorgeous and took care of herself.
Spare me the ranting about her outfits, hair, and makeup. She was on stage. Not at breakfast or school drop off or a business meeting.
Most of all, spare me the spectacle of all these hateful comments toward Jennifer Lopez not being family friendly when these people were all watching the Super Bowl. Is it even ethical to support football - at any level - anymore? The inevitable brain damage (and the depression, rage, and dementia it brings to these men and their families), the exploitation of college players and the NFL of their players, the disgusting display of utterly fake cynical patriotism by using the military and our anthem as props for their dirty business practices, the tax money subsidizing the owners, and the black listing of Colin Kaepernick. Family friendly?
Yeah, right.
Some introspection is in order about such strong hateful reactions. I'm 52, in case it matters.
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@Heather
How great to focus on the hard work and talent of the performers and other workers needed to put on the half time show! Thank you for your comment, it's a viewpoint that is positive and missing from many conversations on this issue. Your granddaughter is lucky to have you.
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I do find Jennifer and Shakira awesome role models. Not because of how they dress while they perform, etc. But as role models of a great work ethic who have persevered during career downturns.
It is simply not realistic to expect women of any age -- let alone 50 -- to compare themselves physically to superstars. If anybody does compare you (ie men, other women) perhaps you can ask them to perform a Jennifer routine complete with perfect hair and make=up and while wearing heels. Would be surprised if they came close.
Also, encourage celebs to share more pix etc of them without makeup, in their regular clothing etc. I do appreciate that Jennifer posts photos of herself at home that seem to be realistic. Yes, she still looks amazing. But looking that way is part of her profession.
6
I don’t know ... I am about to turn 42 and just started learning my fifth language (I speak 4 fluently and teach one of them, my second mother tongue). I find knowledge way more of a turn on. It is also much harder to achieve than working out. As long as I fit in my size 10 after my 3 kids I am good.
5
Congrats on your intellectual efforts, but don’t kid yourself about the hard work of fitness buffs and athletes. It’s hard work! And there’s nothing wrong with doing both. I train 5 days a week and also study Spanish and take a part time course in nutritional science while also working full time. If you don’t want to work out, don’t. But don’t dismiss people who do as if they’re inferior to you.
2
I suggest all the women out there focusing on how Ms. Lopez looks, whether their own looks measure up to hers, and whether or not her performance was intended to titillate male viewers or celebrate women's empowerment might better spend their time and energy focusing on issues like the lack of affordable child care, wage inequality, the cost of post-secondary education, and access to jobs that pay a living wage that affect the majority of both women and men in this country.
7
@West Texas Momma I think all the women out there can do both. You've read this column and took the time to post a comment, but I'm sure you are focused on the issues you mentioned. Being rather judgmental, no?
Yes you are supposed to look like that if you are 50, and a successful professional dancer, entertainer, millionaire who's brand is defined by her looks.
The rest of us are adults and can explain to our daughters the the expectations are set by ourselves for ourselves - not by others who lack self esteem.
12
I appreciate the author's expression of her experience as a woman and her thoughts about how her experience falls within the spectrum. However, the author goes too far, and diminishes her greater point, by trying to paint men's correlative experience as monolithic and puerile. The author writes:
"Men, meanwhile, watch a three-hour game, played by elite athletes with single-digit body fat, and most won’t feel a single twinge of self-doubt, or miss a single chip from the nacho platter.
Women see inspiration or goals we’ve failed to attain....Men see entertainment, athletes who exist on a different plane than mere mortals. Their inner voice whispers, Are there any more nachos? I don’t even think it would occur to them to feel bad, or try to emulate what they saw."
This is not a zero sum game, and one's struggles are not enhanced by diminishing another's.
As an American male in my early/mid-forties who is not in the shape I was in my teens and twenties--I cannot run as fast, throw as hard, weigh as little, or look as good--I am faced with this every time I watch a sporting event. Every game I watch, every Olympic cycles that comes around, even every new batch of students that arrives on campus, leaves me thinking about goals I've failed to attain.
There are a number of culturally-imputed reasons we (men) express this differently than women, but that shouldn't be confused with shallowness. We are not so different.
6
Are women (or men) supposed to look that good at 50? The answer is no -- unless (1) like Ms. Lopez, you are lucky enough to have the genes, and (2) like Ms. Lopez, it's your job to look that good, so that you can devote much of your time to make-up and physical fitness. Few of us fall into that category.
I'm an amateur musician. One of the music magazines for people who play my instrument once made a helpful point about all the great players the mag liked to profile. "Just remember," the editors pointed out. "Those guys can't do what YOU do."
I refuse to lose sleep over J-Lo or, more important in my case, any of her several male equivalents. I may not look like them, but it's not my job to. And they can't do what I do.
4
Relax, people! Yes, she obviously works hard and has good help. Yes, most 50 year olds don't look like that. Yes, life is challenging to maintain that type of physique. However, it is my observation that many people also have "thrown in the towel" on physical health. People that look good at 50 years old are determined and committed to a process- that seems to be something that many others have forgotten or simply refuse to adhere to. Most people I know around 50 are still eating like they are 20, give or take a meatless entree or two lol
3
I think the fact that we are even discussing this is strange. JLO has the means to maintain that look, most women do not. I wonder what people would have said if she had come out in workout clothes? Either way it is her job people to maintain that body, to live up to that image she has made for herself and to the people that pay her. For me I found it inspirational, here is a woman who has worked hard and achieved her goals and loves what she does. I am trying to do the same thing aren't we all? Why do we as women compare ourselves to other women. We are each unique and have a special gift to offer this world, so let's celebrate each other.
2
Do not despair. Unlike most women who have compassion, wisdom, tolerance and other great qualities, we men are just oblivious to the surroundings, including but not limited to athlete body shape...