Pitbulls have been declared "A Public Health crisis" by the Ohio Medical Center. The fatal maulings and extreme injuries inflicted by these dogs increase every year and pitbull rescues continue unabated. These dogs were bred to go for the throat and fight to the death-why are they being given to families with children. Why do we have to see them on the streets at all?
18
May I ask what kind is this dog?
My next door neighbor have a dog just like this in your picture.
1
I just brought a rescue dog home with me yesterday so I am quite impressed with the NYT’s sixth sense that I needed to read this. Mine is very timid too. Afraid of everything. It’s hard not to worry they will always be this afraid and never know what fun or joy might be like. Good to read that the writer’s dog has begun to know what “a dog’s life” should be like!
22
I'd like to share a 3 min video I made with a friend for my dog, a rescue that changed my life forever. 16 wonderful years and now from the distance she continues to give me so much.
thank you my sweet mulia! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AUtUTnytxjs&feature=youtu.be
7
I love that Millie has found a safe and loving home. And I love Ms. Renkl's optimism. However, I disagree on two things. Firstly, our country is sinking deeper and deeper into a disregard for norms that I've not experienced and we will continue to sink. The GOP has now showed us who they really are and what they're really about. This past weekend, I visited my parents on the east coast of FL and driving back to the west coast of FL, I passed a stand with pro Trump flags including Confederate flags. Secondly, Millie is experiencing unconditional love - the kind of love that few of us experience. There is no way that I am able to give the kind of unconditional love I reserve for my cats, to humans, despite all the meditation and yoga I do. Just ask my spouse.
42
@theconstantgardener This is an article about a beloved dog, not politics.
10
@Carol
Give the gardener a break these are the times that fry men's souls. (Women's too.)
27
Dogs are hallowed beings.
Thank you for helping Milly.
I’ve found that the dogs I’ve been lucky enough to be associated with over the last 40 years or so, Daisy, a border collie, Luna, a flat coated retriever and now Maise, a border collie/ Australian Shepard mix, have intuitively and unerringly been able to sense a good and kind person from one who is not.
29
I cannot understand why some humans treat animals , but especially dogs so cruelly . Thank you Margaret for the love and understanding you give Millie but especially providing a loving home . There is a special bond between a dog and his person , if only some would realize how intrinsic it is . My Chi is the most precious thing in my life , he is always there ; better than all the money in the world , all the friendships there are , simply because he asks for nothing and gives a lot .
25
How is it that these most selfless, gentle, affectionate creatures, who show us nothing but friendship, regularly end up abused, mistreated and exploited? How did the human species go so wrong?
50
I took over a rescue dog from my daughter. The dog frequently growled at other dogs in the home and sometimes even fought with them. My daughter assumed it was mistreatment during the dog's early life. But I was skeptical.
In talking with my vet, we agreed that rescuers tend to falsely assume that they have rescued their dogs from bad homes and bad treatment. That didn't seem to be true with my new dog. The fighting problem lessened when the dog shared my home with one elderly dog who seldom put up a fight. And now that the dog is the only one in the home, her behavior is pretty much perfect. And she also is doing well around people now that she's been in the same home for six months.
The dog's frequent eccentricities, which we thought might be a sign of senility, have much improved since she underwent dental work, removing painful teeth. And she hadn't been groomed in a year because she couldn't sit still for the groomer. That was taken care of by use of a tranquilizer. So now she doesn't scratch her silky coat and looks younger and better..
There probably aren't millions of desperate and mistreated dogs out there. Most are abandoned for mundane reasons. And the main cause of distress of our rescue dogs is often just getting used to us.
21
Somewhat off topic but nonetheless important -- senior dogs and cats are simply the best. Often thrown away due to their age, they have so much love to give. I adopted a 18 year old kitty whose mom went into a nursing home. He's made the past 12 months some of the happiest I've ever experienced thanks to his sweetness and loving personality.
56
thank you ever so much for these heart-felt pieces.
27
Thank you for this beautiful and inspiring piece. I am struggling with the cruelty out there in the world too. Your story about Millie is a healing balm.
27
Beautiful. I've had rescued cats who went through the same sorts of traumas: hiding, avoiding me, running from everyone; then wanting to be petted, brushed, picked up. One young feral cat wouldn't let me pet him until a few years after his father died. He began his home life hiding under a bathtub, and wound up sitting on a pillow.
21
Great story, thank you!
I will never ever be able to understand how humans can mistreat animals. They are voiceless and depend upon our kindness. Just the other day I read the headline of a man who hung a Vet's dog because of its barking. I couldn't bring myself to read the article, its people like this man that makes me wonder if the human race will ever survive and evolve.
19
Thank goodness, for every monster there is an angel. Lots of my friends and family have rescued cats, birds, geese, death row dogs, and even wild animals; one morning I helped a trapped 'possum get out of a garbage can. Three of my friends do TNVR work and feed cat colonies, often risking their own lives and safety to help stray cats. These women are saints, and have even found homes for lots of these cats. My strays love their beds, pillows, radiators, and blankets.
10
Here is a sorely needed refreshment about the goodness that can be in this world. It comes in the nick of time during the difficulty to avoid seeing and hearing a so-called leader use the word "dog" to be critical, and while he is constantly enabled to live a pathological narcissist's heaven on earth.
21
@Richard Hahn
Only president does not have a dog, that says plenty of him .
20
Amazing what in a rescue dog can do for your soul. 6 years ago my partner myself's 18 year old Chihuahua who has a rescue passed and my father teo days latter. I was devastated and thought I would never get over these losses. Around 2 months later my vet Called and wanted to know if we Would rescue a Chihuahua. She was a breeder dog we found out and after they breed them 2 or 3 times they would take the dogs to the emmane societee to get him euthanize for free because their economic worth was gone. When we got her she did know what a leash was had never been locked and she was terrified. But it's amazing what a lot of love will do and she is turned in to one of the most amazing companion animals I've ever had my life She struts down the street when I walk or acting like she owns the neighborhood has her own comforter and the bed And I wish everyone could have an animal like this so you could receive so much love
28
Even dogs who show up in the worst condition show us the power of love.
21
Hank the Yorkie / Maltese came to us on an uneventful day, six months after our cocker spaniel passed. A day time adoption was going on at the mall in Kansas City.
There, he was in a crate alert, directly looking at me. Hank was his name the bundle of joy was seven.
He bonded with us overnight, was so eager to please us. Always followed me with his eyes always searching for me loved me that no one else ever could...Played soccer bounced the ball with his mouth to throw back at you.
Hank came home on 7th of August 2001, had a passion for life and love.
How it ended when 14 and ill?
In a typical Hank way...an unwanted pet, who knew how to LOVE and was loved by everyone...
I was holing him in my arms did not want him to go and then he left me. Thy syringe of the vet stated leaking made them nervous so wanted to take him inside.
“No way do it in front of me” I said holding him even tighter in my arms.
Then he left me in typical Hank way, the unwanted one, who could teach anyone how to love and loved his life...
A bill was given to me at the Vet’s office even before anything was done to him.
P.S. while driving to the vet alone, his eyes were glued to me saying “I trust you”. Made a donation to” Nashville Humane”, After a month a big fed-ex came to my doorstep, a friend got Hank was painted by an artist .
Portrait of Hank is hanging in our bedroom.
23
Making that final decision has often been called the final act of love. But it certainly doesn’t feel that way when we are going through that loss. My heart is breaking for all these wonderful pets and their human companions.
16
So sorry. Bless you.
11
Trump does not have (and apparently never has had) a dog or a cat. He has never experienced the things that a dog like Millie (or Bo or the Bush Millie or Buddy) can impart! And look what he's missed!
13
We would all take 1 dear, precious Millie over 10,000 amoral, degenerate Trumps. Anytime.
38
My one and only dog that I've ever owned, Milo, the "bestest little Chihuahua guy in the world," is a rescue, and fortunately, he came off the transport and was a love man from Day One. He's such a ham for attention from people, he'll run up to anyone to say hi and get a scratch. He's with me 24/7 - I'm a self-employed therapist - and clients tell me that they picked me to do therapy with them because of his pic in my google ad and on my website. I tell my clients he's always the best part of any session, lol.
19
God bless you both.
9
Sign in front of local vet's office:
"New years resolution: be the person my dog thinks I am."
Kind of says it all.
30
Sera writes of the “virtue signaling” of those who mention that they have adopted a rescue dog. Likens them to those who mention that they are vegans. I would merit her disdain on both counts. Became a vegetarian many years ago after reading James Rachel’s “Created from Animals; the Moral Implications of Darwinism”. Couldn’t overcome his arguments so stopped eating meat. However, I rationalized, and rationalized, and continued eating dairy and eggs until within the past year, until I realized that my intellectual dishonesty was not a good thing, so I quit those things also. But I and my wife have also had many dogs, all strays who found us, so guilty on that count too. But I want to make a point that might be unpleasant for some to read, because there are many good people who want a pure-bred dog and will buy their dog from a breeder. But they should consider the implications of this. Many years ago I worked at a humane society shelter on weekends. We would work all weekend, would be so happy when we could find a good home for a dog or cat, or maybe even a few, and then I would return home and look in the local paper and see column after column of ads from breeders, many from “backyard” breeders but others from “legitimate” breeders, who were trying to sell a multitude of puppies (and a few cats). This was very discouraging. Even more discouraging was to realize that many of these dogs would be seen later in the shelter, or would themselves be bred, with still more puppies.
28
Thank you for this beautiful piece.
14
Beautiful. This essay brought tears to my eyes. Ms. Renkl, thank you for taking a chance on this poor little one who needed you most.
13
So true - I've had rescue dogs for years - Please do not allow her to have coffee! It is highly toxic to dogs - no cough drops either!
8
Additional foods / liquids toxic to dogs (in rough order of toxicity, high-to-low:
Chocolate
Xylitol (sweetener in many products, e g., toothpaste)
Macadamia nuts (the worst!), and nuts in general
Raisins/grapes
Avacado
Citrus
Alcohol
[source: ASPCA]
14
Professor Renkl, welcome to the world of having a special dog in your home. As you now know, a household is not complete unless there is a four-legged child in it (who will usually be running it).
My late wife and our late Airedale Afghan daughter dog selected each other more than thirty (30) years ago at the local pound. As I have told anyone who cared to listen, once these two (2) sets of beautiful brown eyes saw each other, it was all over.
My wife often referred to Muffin as her easiest pregnancy!
When a dog is in a good home (as Muffin's was and as Millie's is), a dog that has been abused starts to relax. Millie learned that she is safe in her home and then something special has happened; the canine personality (unique to every dog) starts to ooze out of every pore!
Enjoy the comfort, joy, and love that Millie will add to your home for as long as she lives.
19
I, too, am the grateful mom of a traumatized fur baby - rescued from a dumpster. This beautiful soul is an endless source of love, companionship, and acceptance. Her anxious quirks are what make her Stella, and remind me every day that love doesn't have to be perfect.
30
Beautiful. May you have a long and happy life together.
14
We have rescued many dogs over the years. We lost our last one in November (on my birthday, no less). Millie reminds me of one we called Steffi (named after Steffi Graf). She was petrified of males, particularly teen-aged males. She hid under the bed whenever my son and his friends were around. She was fine with women, but it took her almost a year before she would tolerate being around my husband and son. When I would come home from work, I sang a song for her to get her out from under the bed (a parody of the old Four Seasons song, "Sherry"): "Steffi, bay-yay-bee, won't you come out tonight?" She would. The other two dogs pampered her as well. It was funny to watch the others lead her around the house and yard, as if to tell her everything was all right. She was a big lug for a dachshund; she finally calmed down to the point where she loved everyone. We knew she was in pain one day when she snapped at and tried to bite one of the other dogs. She had bladder cancer.
Our house is so silent, so very, very silent and sad with no dog in it. I keep looking down at my feet, thinking, hoping, that some little creature will greet me with his or her wagging tail, but then I remember that last November we said goodbye to our last little guy. I'm looking to rescue someone new. Maybe next month. When there's a promise of a new spring.
29
@Zander 1948:
BEAUTIFUL.
6
Thank you for your beautiful article that brought tears to my eyes. You reminded me of my recent experience in the health care system and the power of kindness. It was powerful and fresh in my mind.
After years of seeking treatment for an arryhthmia during which time I'd mightily fought off $150,000 in medical bills, nasty staff, numerous frustrations and dehumanizing experiences, I miraculously made my way to my current specialist, my 6th cardiologist in as many years.
I'd developed a guarded-businesslike demeanor in the hopes of not getting dismissed or interrupted when I first consulted with this doc, who was clearly brilliant (he invented the technology he'd use to treat me).
What a relief to experience warmth & friendliness. Joy blasted out of my guardedness when we started talking about music and what he plays during procedures. He promised he'd play Motown for me, a native Detroiter.
When they wheeled me in for the procedure he announced that they'd be playing Motown. The nurses were delighted & cranked it up on the computer. Each staff person I met was loving, enthusiastic, & friendly. It felt like a party.
This doctor went out of his way to be kind & attentive &, as busy as he is, was always fully present. He gave me his personal cell#, called me at home, and stopped by to see me during a routine wound check appt.
The amazing technology definitely calmed my heart, yet the kindness has had a profound impact, especially after so many trials over the years.
14
After my soul mate (Goose-baby) passed away at 18, I drove to NC to adopt an adult cat from a high-kill shelter. She was not at all happy about the car and the trip, and let me know in no uncertain terms. We got home, walked into the house at which point she laid eyes on my husband - and she was in love. She has eyes only for him.
Six months later, still wanting a cat (because I sure wasn't getting any lovin' from the first one) I adopted a young-ish cat from a local shelter. My first clue that he had been abused was his reaction to the carrier - he was bouncing off of walls and screaming. Yikes. But I took him anyway. For three months he hid under the bed. He made a nest INSIDE the sofa. But now, 18 months in, he is my Sir Love-a-Lot. He will let me pick him up, he sits next to me frequently, and on me occasionally. Still not big on company, but he's a happy guy when the house is quiet.
23
Thank you for this. I hope it will inspire readers to get a rescue pet whenever they decide to take one in. You can also direct some of your charitable giving to a local shelter or even to a world wildlife organization.
My rescue dog is sleeping at my feet. She is a very sweet animal w/out a mean bone in her body. When I got her, she was very afraid: she cringed when I went to pet her and cried whenever I had to leave the house. She also retained her habit of scavenging, even though she gets high quality food and has gained many pounds.
Now, she is being repaired. She trusts, she doesn't cringe, she is terrific with my 2 cats. She has given much more than she receives.
28
Thanks Ms. Renki for your experience that brought tears to my eyes. Like others, all of the dogs in my life have been rescues of abandonment, neglect and abuse. Each has come with their own story; many of which we'll never know the details. I can only surmise these potential possibilities after sometimes, months of observing them. Thankfully, most of these 'throwaway dogs' have overcome their fears with the good treatment we give them. However, I think back to one I adopted at an elderly age from running the streets of Aberdeen, WA for an unknown amount of time with a mouthful of severe dental disease, who despite years of my loving treatment, could never relax, could never trust me, and therefore could never shed the pain she endured before I adopted her. For her and others like her, I shed tears and apologize to them for their undeserved horrific life on their deathbed. It truly sickens me that such a huge population of these dogs exist today and we, as a society, need to examine our motives and the commitments we make when we adopt these animals. We are surely not doing them a good deed.
17
I once stole a dog. The dog was kept outside, chained to a post. He barked constantly, perhaps encouraged by the owner. Complaints from neighbors were met with hostility. There was no option for police intervention. So, forty or so years ago, I stole this dog. I drove him many miles and dumped him it the woods. I'm personally pretty sure we do not have "souls," but if I'm wrong, mine is probably damned as a result of this one act.
4
@Lee:
Perhaps leaving the dog in the wings woods wasn't the best choice; even so I don't detect malice in that desperate act of kindness.
You never know: it may well be that your freed prisoner was found roaming by another kind-hearted soul who managed to coax that undoubtedly lonely, hungry pup into taking a ride to a loving home environment, and thereafter experienced the kindness and love it deserved in the first place.
You at least gave it that possibility.
6
You were wrong to abandon the dog but I think you realize it now. My suggestion is that you do something to offset what regrets you might be living with. Volunteer at a shelter or if you notice an animal being abused take time to help it.
15
My rescue dog is curled up against my legs; we both lost his mate 16 days ago and our grief is still raw. But humans need to remember all living creatures can experience PTSD. I have it and to some degree my dogs had/have it as well. They are fine as long as they are with me, the way I am fine inside my home. They get anxious when we leave (are we getting dumped again?) the same way I am anxious when I leave (what bad thing can happen out here?). The three of us saved each other and all I can offer is please, please adopt a rescue. While some rescues are fostered, many live in prison-like conditions. You see their sad faces that ask "why am I being punished?" Make the world better, one creature at a time.
27
@Eli:
I'm sorry for your loss; I'm glad that you've the utterly unconditional love of your four-legged companions aa you walk yhrough your (and their) grie
6
Beautiful.....
1
I love this article and all the comments! Made me smile and laugh. After watching this mess of an impeachment, it was uplifting. Now someone needs to teach our dear President some "good-dog" manners - or maybe it is too late. Thanks for writing this.
11
The worst dog is better than most people, which is why I have so much hope for your dog and almost none for the country. Cutting right to the point, even those who don't like Donald Trump's character, are willing to look the other way because they claim that the economy is humming along. Dogs would never behave this way. They would not excuse lying, bullying, cheating, race baiting or any of the things tRump does on a daily basis, for any reason. We have so much to learn from our canine friends. Good luck with the pooch!
25
My oh my, our two unmanageable rescues are sleeping happily at my feet right now. If the organization we rescued Dodger from had told us it would take more than three years for him to feel comfortable (mostly) we might have made a different decision. But then we wouldn't have Lucky, who we adopted as Dodger's "therapy dog." Who turned out to need a lot of therapy himself.
I just want to warn people not to get carried away and adopt a dog when they haven't thought through how it will feel to go months without having your loving care reciprocated, aren't prepared to get plenty of costly professional help, and perhaps go through a long period when you can't have people to the house. Our guys are fortunate that my husband categorically refuses to inflict any additional trauma on our dogs, otherwise they might have been given back. This is the man who did not want a "project dog."
Dog ownership is wonderful, and dog love is awesome. And, and awesome responsibility.
26
What a beautiful story and encouraging reminder. After this week, I was feeling completely hopeless. MLK was so wise....yes, I’ll remember that the arc will shift towards justice. I do believe that.
7
I just adopted a little white feral dog who I’ve named Lily down here in Mexico. I can’t imagine what she has been through in her young life, but but now she has a home, our home, and thriving, always aims to please, especially when treats are involved. Incidentally, feral canines are so smart down here, they look both ways before they cross the street, which is more than I can say about most humans in Seattle.
16
Thank you for this, and for giving an abused dog a forever home. This piece should be passed on to all new rescue parents. When there's a will, there's a way.
10
Beautiful.
4
Delightful! This little dog picked-up my spirits today after following all the evil cynicism of shallow Republicans in Congress. Thank you little Millie!
17
Beautiful writing. With pieces like this I will never- ever feel alone and isolate myself while this Monster Trump is in the White House. I’m definitely part of a resilient and very strong community for which I am extremely grateful. Thank you Universe for these dogs- our adorable and trusting sentient beings!
19
If you spend your time caring for animals, please at least make sure you support policies that afford the same basic care to human beings. Republicans, don't expect saving some dogs to weigh with St. Peter.
6
@sedanchair Why? The Bible itself tells us that God loves and cares for his animal creations also. Remember the falling sparrow?
2
If only humans could undergo the same transformations based on all of the positive interactions they have experienced with their fellow humans.....and feel the kind of love and gratitude that would enable them to show empathy and concern for everyone. I think it is both fascinating and horrifying that Trump doesn't appear to like dogs or any other animals, and can only relate to people who make him feel good in some way.
10
@Leslie I agree. On the other hand, it's one less thing animal lovers have to worry about - an animal who has to survive in that family.
6
We too have experienced the joy and satisfaction of bringing an abused animal into our home and watching the fear and distrust begin to melt away. Our beautiful young black cat Simon came to us about two years ago after having been taken away from its prior owner due to neglect. Not treating severe flea infestation with open sores and poor nutrition led him to be very unhappy. But over time with love and gentle attention he now at last will sit contentedly in my lap and quietly purr. It makes me so very happy and I know he is happy too.
22
Wholehearted applause to Ms. Renkl for rescuing the dog. I love dogs, some of which are easier to get along with than certain people.
13
beautiful... thank you! the tenderness of dogs and their willingness to love and forgive, as well as their ability to overcome such difficult beginnings is maybe the most important life lesson ever.
12
Our family never had a dog until our adult son adopted Bix Beiderbecke 4 years ago. Bix, a Yorkie-Silkie, was brought to NYC with other abandoned dogs from South Carolina, shaven, skinny, and shaky. Within a few months he was well adjusted, had overcome his anxiety, and became the sweet, loyal, loving dog we adore today. We never really understood the bond between humans and dogs but we sure get it now. What a companion, what a gift!
24
What a wonderful essay. Thank you for sharing and thank you for giving Millie the life she deserves. Emotionally, a dog is a no-risk investment. Show them a little love and they will love you back tenfold.
24
It takes great compassion, persistence, and setting aside of ego to work with a someone--four legged or otherwise--who has lost her trust in the world. Millie is in the right place. She's now a lucky, lucky dog.
22
Thank you so much for such a beautiful piece. I have had many dogs over the years - all of them rescues, some I picked up blindly off the street as strays (one turned out to be pregnant and gave birth to nine puppies three weeks later), some were given to me, I've fostered a few, while others I found at the shelter. All of them transformed my life. I am very grateful to a Universe that even though there is much suffering and hardship in the world, has also produced dogs, they have been my greatest loves and companions, such remarkable creatures, every one. I say that I've rescued many dogs, but in truth, it is I who has been rescued, and many times at that.
31
In that process, alas, none of us human creatures will become as cherubic as the average dog, even those that soil the floor or chew up our stuff, as our own skittish rescue dog still occasionally does after 7 years.
6
Cesar Millan famously said, "Humans are the only species that will follow an unstable leader."
Congratulations Margaret, you and your husband are stable pack leaders. And way to go Millie! All of my rescues, send air high five paws to you. The journey back is a hard one, and it requires a ton of trust, a lot of consistency, and calm leadership.
Not so much for us, the human species. We will follow a leader who betrays our trust every day, is as inconsistent as Wi-Fi download speeds, and is about as calming as a house on fire.
19
I’ve had have a lifetime of rescued dogs. My first dog was rescued, by a family friend, from some horrible boys who repeatedly placed their family pup in the garbage can. That kind woman whisked the abused puppy away and brought her to our door. I’ve adopted dumped dogs who ran into my arms with joy, and dogs who where completely shut down. Two of my dogs were terrified of men — a common problem with rescues. One traumatized dog had a deep, enduring fear of flashlights. The things people do to dogs are behind imagining.
Decades ago, my ragtag pound dogs were the exception at the dog park. Now people brag about having “a rescue.” It’s wonderful to see the change is attitude toward second-hand dogs: they are now valued and even coveted. But the mythos of The Rescue has gone too far. Everyone wants a dog with a good backstory. For some unscrupulous or perhaps just misguided people, rescue dogs are now just another business. Dogs are being scooped up from pounds and hoarded — sometimes in horrible conditions — trucked across the country, sold for outrageous sums. Some weeks ago a van full of rescue dogs was stolen from a hotel parking lot near here. The dogs had been transported from another state, in stacked crates, to be delivered to their “adopters.” The driver had left them in their crates in the van, overnight. The person who stole the van had sold some of the animals before the van was found. Poor dogs.
Please adopt locally, from the pound or a vetted rescue group!
17
I call my street cats rescues, too. Some are eartipped, former colony cats; lots of strays are abandoned pets.
3
Ms. Renkl, you're my idea of a hero. Thank you for this wonderful column. Our best dog ever - tho I would never say it in front of the other rescues we had -was a dog my husband kidnapped one night from a shockingly abusive situation. She was smart and loving and everything else one would want a dog to be. Five years later her loss is still painful. Dogs are loving and devoted to kindness. It is no surprise that trump has never had a dog, and only uses "dog" as a pejorative.
23
Thank you for giving her a loving home!
10
Lovely. Thank you. We need more pieces like this. My family and I can totally relate to this at our home right now. We have a little sweet terrier we rescued 2 months ago and he is a slow work in progress but has already come a very long way. He too has a horrid past but everyday, little by little, he is letting go of the peeing, the hiding, the cowering, the whimpering and so on. Underneath all that fear and trauma we are seeing that there is a loving, cheeky and playful little guy. He has gone from heartbreaking to inspiring. What a joy to watch him blossoming!
12
Well, now I'm crying.
Thank you, Margaret Renkl.
12
I’ve had many rescue dogs over the years, 18 and counting, because I’m a sucker for a gray muzzle. For an old dog, trying to survive a shelter experience must be excruciating. If a rescue has emotional or fear issues, I have a loving trainer who helps us work through it. I know when old dogs come home with me they likely won’t live long compared to those cute puppies, but there’s nothing like the gratitude they express for a soft bed, two squares, too many treats, and long ambling walks around my property. I do all I can for them, and when nothing more can be done I have the vet out to administer a sedative first, so they fall asleep in my arms before the pink solution takes them away.
When my son was four we had to say good bye to a particular favorite, and as I was weeping he gave me a hug and said don’t cry Mom, Tory isn’t gone, she just took her body off. That has become how I look at death, and I have no fear of it.
610
@M. Greider You are a beautiful person. Thank you for such lovely words and even more lovely actions.
93
@M. Greider - crying as I write this. Watching beloved animals be euthanized made me understand death. I know this understanding helped me when both my parents died in hospice at home. I wasn’t afraid. Out of the mouths of babes. Your son got it just right. I’m glad he shared his wisdom with you. Now you have shared it with all of us!
70
@M. Greider
". . . don’t cry Mom, Tory isn’t gone, she just took her body off."
Such clarity and wisdom out of the mouth of a 4 yr. old.
That is probably the best line I have ever read about death. Remarkable.
Why this comment is not a NYT Pick is a mystery to me. This is one of my all time favorites because it speaks of incredible kindness and a heart the size of a continent because how could it not be when someone "is a sucker for a gray muzzle".
Thank you for giving these seniors some joy, love, happiness, comfort and a sense of warmth and belonging during their last laps in this life.
You are an awesome person M. Greider!
109
I admire the fact that you vision to imagine the dog could recover and hung in there with the Millie. I probably would have written her off as a hopeless cause.
4
Let her be a wee bit spoiled. No creature likely deserves it more.
8
Just thanks for that.
5
Thank you!
4
We have always had rescue dogs. Ellie our current baby was just like your Millie. Two years later she is the queen and allows us to live here,
6
Thank you for this. We had a traumatized rescue French Bulldog. The first time we heard her scream was at about 3:00 a.m.; she stood in our bedroom doorway and wailed like a full-grown woman. It was terrifying. She did it a couple other times in the four short years we had her, before age finally caught up to her and we had to put her to sleep. We were (and still are) heartbroken, but spoiling her for her remaining years was our pleasure. We now have a traumatized rescue pit bull; a small, gentle little girl who still hides in the bushes when it rains and crawls under the bed if the wind kicks up even just a little (we suspect she was displaced during the Texas hurricanes). We're pushover dog parents, but, again, it's our pleasure to spoil her rotten.
18
spend the same amount of time with a pig, a lamb, a cow or a chicken and you could write the same touching article
11
I have always rescued shelter dogs. I have two now, one 13 and the other three, and they both endured significant trauma before I adopted them. The older one was five when I brought him home. He had spent his life until that point, tied to a tree. He was a mess. He screamed, he growled, he wouldn’t eat. But now, eight years later, he’s sleeping at my feet. Content and comfortable. He is a very good boy.
633
@Lisa
You done real Lisa!
The screaming, growling and refusal to eat is a clear and sharp indicator of just how terrified and scared and lonely for love, safety and kindness your dog was at the time.
That look on Millie's face reminds me of a dare as if she is saying with her eyes, "I dare you to NOT love me."
31
@Lisa
Obviously his Human is pretty darn good, too.
197
You should all meet my Sammy, also a rescue cum-poodle who we adopted in October, 2018. He too had behavioral issues and still is highly suspicious of a kinds of things, especially on our walks. According to the adoption folks he was on the street, this 14 lb. fluff ball, for perhaps months. He’s become a love bug and a cuddler, although I’m his “human” and it takes a time for him to settle in with other people and animals. I discovered, after all the difficulties we had with him from the start that he is, after all, just a dog.
Your writing encourages me in my daily trials and tribulations with Sammy. He is a good dog and we love him to excess. And yes, it does take our minds off of the news of the day. That’s the best thing about it all.
5
Most of us know how good dogs--and other animals--can be.
The more difficult task is to cultivate canine qualities in humans.
Olaf Stapledon, "Sirius" (1944).
452
@Andrew Shin I do believe mankind's long association with canines has tempered our nature--giving us discipline, nobility and teamwork not usually seen in the monkey tribe.
22
Anyone here who yearns to rescue an
animal but is unable (due to living conditions, health, etc.)
should consider donating to a
farm animal sanctuary. It isn't just dogs that deserve our compassion; we should extend the sentiments expressed in this article and these comments to all creatures.
Farm animal sanctuaries (my favorite is Iowa Farm Animal Sanctuary) could sure use our resources to help the aid, medical care, to provide homes to such loving and deserving animals as chickens, goats, turkies, cows, pigs, ducks...
16
Thank you for that story . We have a dog like that. Born in Kansas and brought home by our daughter who was teaching there. We named him Ozzie and because he would pee in kitchen we nicknamed him “the whizzed of oz” he is fiercely loyal dog, a little too much at times. He is now 14 years old and spending his sundown days dreaming of his youth on the doggies bed. We should all be so lucky!
5
We have had three rescues: Noodle, who was self-contained to the point of cat-like diffidence, but friendly and always nearby if you were sick; Milo, huge and scary until you knew him for 10 seconds, especially of you were a woman of a certain age (we brought him home from the shelter and he farted continually in the car, and when we got to the stairs he looked at me like "you're kidding, right?") and now Swiffer (she is a little dust mop). Swiffer was like Millie, badly damaged and also totally afraid of men. Somebody dumped her in the country and my sister-in-law brought her to us. It took more than two months for her to not run under the bed whenever I walked near her. She is still afraid of my feet. That just makes me so angry.
But then something unexpected happened. Swiffer was diagnosed with heartworm. One day I looked at her and I realized she was dying. The vet was rather discouraging about the treatment, since so many dogs get almost all the way through it and die suddenly of a stroke. But my wife never wavered. It took several months and a lot of money, but we kept her quiet and now she is okay.
But, really, she is more than okay. She is grateful. She gently asks for attention and she looks completely happy with her life most all the time. We are completely happy with her.
Even the cats are happy. Sometimes.
Rescue a dog. You will get so much out of it.
12
Margaret Renkle- your writing IS that tender touch
6
She’s such a good doggo!!!
2
In moments of extreme affection, I use the words
Doggo and Doggita.
5
Sometimes reading your columns is like therapy, and today was one of those times.
14
Dog is God
9
@Eric The only one.
3
I read this extraordinary column as I sat with my rescued dog, Mimi, on my lap, in a big wad of blanket. She looks a lot like Millie and is my heart. Mimi was taken off the street, pregnant and tender hearted. She had seven pups who were adopted and then her foster mom let go of sweet Mimi and we found each other, much like my husband and I did on a dating app 11 years ago. Somehow, amid the maelstrom and heartache of life, we three were meant to be together. To love and cherish; life is indeed good.
12
Our rescue dog, Flip, is a beautiful Australian Shepherd/Cardigan Welsh Corgi. Our local rescue lady routinely drives to the shelter in Yakima to find dogs. When Kim took Flip out for a behavior assessment walk he literally flipped out, winding himself around her legs, rolling over on the ground in a panicked state, thus his name Flip. When she took him back to the shelter she said, No, I don’t think so, and the shelter lady replied, We’re killing him tomorrow. Flip went home with Kim.
Flip spent the first 3 months under her stereo cabinet. When we met him 8 years ago Flip had been with Kim a full year. He was still so fearful the first week we had to pretend we were looking at the clouds and not noticing that he was peeing. It turned out that we had him just 10 days then had to go on a previously arranged vacation. Flip was devastated when we temporarily took him back to Kim, thinking we were rejecting him. Our vacation turned out to be less than fun (we both got miserable colds) so we said, forget this, let’s just go home and get our dog.
When we went to pick Flip up he was back to his old anxious self, smashed up again the screen door wanting back into Kim’s house. Driving up our long gravel road he stopped hiding and looked out the window. We pulled up to the house and Flip raced to the front door. In the house he joyously ran through all of the rooms, up the stairs and down. It still took a year of daily gentle massages to convince Flip he was really home. Forever.
14
@Maura Callahan
They often know when they have found their forever home.
3
August 7th, I buried my Springer Spaniel; 16 years one month, and 6 days after I found him running next to Hwy 101 on the Olympic peninsula, between the Klalock NPS Ranger Sta., and Forks, WA; a road frequented by fast traffic and log trucks, 35 miles of forest and clearcuts, virtually void of humans.
Seeing his danger, I found a pull-off, dashed back 200 ft on the edge of a through fill, and scooped up the little guy, no bigger than a shoebox, having rolled over and peed on himself. He was mange covered and had a underdeveloped defective little toe on his right front paw.
Rudy occupies the screen saver on my phone. I tear from his memory, as well as this comment. Rudy looked you in the eye, as he was looking into your soul to see your goodness. He grew very social; connecting with every dog and person he met. People just loved him.
One day, nearing the end of a 10-mile hike in the Colombia Gorge,(Rudy was 13) we took a short cut through a campground, Rudy was immediately attacked by a pit bull, who grabbed him by the neck and started dragging him like a ragdoll. Rudy was baying and I immediately covered the 20 or so feet, tackled the pitbull, shoving my right fingers into it's right cheek, forcing it to bite itself, until it released Rudy. Rudy was fine, shaken, but ok. I went to the hospital for stitches in my hand, but was ok as well.
I read about protective mothers, I became one. Thank you
24
Who do my eyes get wet every time I read Ms. Renkl's columns?
7
August 7th, I buried my Springer Spaniel; 16 years one month, and 6 days after I found him running next to Hwy 101 on the Olympic peninsula, between the Klalock NPS Ranger Sta., and Forks, WA; a road frequented by fast traffic and log trucks, 35 miles of forest and clearcuts, virtually void of humans.
Seeing his danger, I found a pull-off, dashed back 200 ft on the edge of a through fill, and scooped up the little guy, no bigger than a shoebox, having rolled over and peed on himself. He was mange covered and had a underdeveloped defective little toe on his right front paw.
Rudy occupies the screen saver on my phone. I tear from his memory, as well as this comment. Rudy looked you in the eye, as he was looking into your soul to see your goodness. He grew very social; connecting with every dog and person he met. People just loved him.
One day, nearing the end of a 10-mile hike in the Colombia Gorge,(Rudy was 13) we took a short cut through a campground, Rudy was immediately attacked by a pit bull, who grabbed him by the neck and started dragging him like a ragdoll. Rudy was baying and I immediately covered the 20 or so feet, tackled the pitbull, shoving my right fingers into it's right cheek, forcing it to bite itself, until it released Rudy. Rudy was fine, shaken, but ok. I went to the hospital for stitches in my hand, but was ok as well.
I read about protective mothers, I became one. Thank you
4
Speaking of politics, I brought my current rescue home during the election of 2016. One of those wonderful dogs delivered out of the South where so many are neglected and abused. She was very fearful and the sound of anger sent her running. I had to temper my yelling at the television, and have learned so much from her trying to curb my temper and tendencies. And right now there is sooo much to ne angry about.
Stella has healed to an amazing degree, navigating the chaos of Manhattan like a pro. She still has her triggers though. She still recoils at a voice of anger. She HATES Trump and panics and runs under the bed if his constant raging comes on over the television before I can mute it. Dogs never forget anger.
15
Margaret, your columns are always such a pleasure to read and a safe harbor from the day's outrages. Thank you.
In November of 2108, we adopted a dog that had multiple health issues, and was found alone, wondering through a Bronx rail yard. She was just such a mess and terrified of being left alone. After extensive vet care, she is healthier than ever - though she does have cancer that we are treating with chemo.
Emotionally, she's almost a different dog. Much less nervous and able to handle a closed bathroom door without freaking out. She's loving, snuggly and as we like to say, "living her best life" every day. It's amazing what a secure home, regular meals, and a lot of love can do.
7
What an uplifting story of very kind people who saved this poor dog who was beyond difficult with the screaming. You made my day.
3
My husband and I acquired a rescue greyhound 6 years ago...she is a completely different hound today. She too was frightened of pretty much everything. Now she lays splayed out, totally relaxed on the sofa..in a thunderstorm...or with fireworks booming, etc.
Still a little unnerved by loud truck sounds though.
Thanks for this, great diversion to the depressing politics of the day.
10
Peer into a Dogs eyes, you’ll see her Soul. Keep looking, and you’ll see Yours.
16
@Phyliss Dalmatian
I LOVE that!!! And so doggone true PD!
8
Love this story! Just please be careful with what she steals. You mentioned cough drops. So many things have xylitol in it now can kill a dog fast! A dog died last week cause it ate a piece of gum that fell out of a pocket.
7
Dogs want the same things people do, strong, stable leadership. They get confused and fearful if they sense things are out of balance in their world. They freak out if they feel their leader is not in control. I sense the metaphor in that.
163
@Lynda Demsher
I completely agree, even if my first name is NOT Lassie or Bandit for Fluffy.
14
@Lynda Demsher Nonsense. The "pack leader" model for dog behavior is a myth that domineering people cling to to justify their overly assertive behavior. I think the true metaphor is now more readily visible.
13
So much of the human/canine relationship comes down to trust. If trust is developed and nurtured, both lives can be enriched.
Suspicion and an unwillingness to cultivate trust has always distinguished human/human relationships from those of people and their dogs.
3
I am blessed -- truly -- to have been adopted by the sweetest, smartest dog on the planet. And in this there is more than a large dose of irony . . .
As a child I unceasingly yearned for a dog, but my parents couldn't be bothered: it would somehow be a burden and major inconvenience.
Mine was a violent home -- father physically abused my mother; mother, being mentally ill and extremely angry, both provoked dad and passed his abuses onto me. I am sure I saw that having a dog might be a safe companion -- which I ached to have.
After escaping home by means of college, a unconditionally loving golden retriever puppy came into my life - a Valentine present. I was thrilled!
Yet raised this amazing creature the way I was "disciplined" - extremely harshly. One day in the midst of a particularly severe beating I had an epiphany: the absolute cruelty I was inflicting on this utterly unconditionally loving creature. I was sickened; in that moment I committed to never abuse him again. I kept that promise; it took years but Strider eventually healed & honored me with his trust - a miracle of love.
Twenty years after his passing, a rescue came into my life (against my desires), a 12lb Chihuahua mix. Me: "not a small dog fan . . ."
Within 24 hrs I knew this innocent pup was badly abused - I knew the symptoms via my own sordid past.
My heart broke; I knew I was being gifted with a chance at redemption. Today Danni is my fierce protector and love; she heals me, as I do her.
22
Excellent. We have had a similar experience with our rescue dog, Piper. It seems they train us well in our efforts to help them recover from the trauma they experienced.
3
Thank you so much for this lovely, lovely piece, and thank you for saving this amazing dog. Our dogs, much loved and completely spoiled, and 100% family members, occupy a huge space in my heart. We lost our 17-year old Flat Coat Retriever a couple of years ago, and we are slowly getting through our mourning period, and thinking of adopting another dog. Arthur was a rescue dog (rescued by my sister who was starting college, so we became his parents), and your essay reminds me of the importance of rescuing a dog from a shelter, rather than buying from a breeder. Thank you for your kindness and love for Millie - how wonderful that at the end, she is now a lucky dog!
3
What a beautiful-beautiful column, Ms. Renkl. Your taking this little abused creature into your life reminds me of a frequent saying of the late- great Mother Theresa. She said: “I cannot help them all. But those that I can help, I do.” Bless You and your spouse for giving this little dog a safe, soft landing in her Forever Home.
10
I read this just before my volunteer shift at the Humane Society. At the shelter we accept surrendered dogs, cats, rabbits, ferrets, and hamsters. This wonderful shelter regularly gets transfers from Puerto Rico and other states where they have “kill” shelters. I am fortunate to work in the area where animals go home with their new families - their big hearts never cease to amaze me. They may be frightened, but most are so willing to trust again and take a chance on love. Human beings have much to learn from these big hearted and very intelligent creatures.
9
A very beautiful piece, Margaret. Thank you.
4
I also have two rescues. Both were a little under a year, when adopted . The terrier had already had a litter and was dumped on a Miami street. I am proud of the fact that even though I live in an affluent gated community, most of the dogs here are rescues ( rather than designer dogs ). After watching a documentary that reported that 4 million dogs (out of 6 million) strays are euthanized every year, there will never be another dog in my life that isn’t a rescue!!!
10
@Lori Feinman
I have one Rescue, and one Designer Dog (so called) . They don't have that prejudice. Sometimes you just fall in love with the characteristics of a breed. With a rescue, it is always a process of discovery. Love them both.
5
Beautifully written and brings tears to m eyes for all the abused animals out there needing someone to love. Millie was lucky to have found you.
8
Beautiful essay. Beautiful thing to home a fearful animal. And a beautiful linking of this process to our own, we can only hope. Thank you for all of it, and especially for sticking with this gentle life that is still unfolding.
4
I rescued a puppy raised in a barn with I suspect little human contact .
Bit me twice and the trainer once.
Working hard on trust and resource guarding .
Unable to handle him for ear drops . Often doesn’t want to be touched. And yet there have been small improvements.
Don’t know his future -he’s 5 months old and I’ve had him for 3 months.
I do know I’m doing everything possible ( trainer , meds to go to vet, assessment with vet behaviorist who offered humane euthanasia as option ).
My point is it may not end up rosy and happy .
Although I certainly saved him from a very uncertain future , in his case love may not be enough .
One day at a time .
12
@BSJ
Hang in there. Even if you ultimately don't get the job done, it is worth it.
7
@BSJ
I agree.
We adopted a beautiful malamute who was rescued from a puppy mill. She had spent her entire life chained to a tree, giving birth to litter after litter. In the winter, the litters would freeze to death.
She was a mess when we brought her home. Didn't know from a car, or a garage door, or stairs, let alone toys and treats.
We had her for 4 years, and she came a very long way. But then our other dog developed diabetes, requiring a lot of special attention and disrupting the family/pack dynamic. She turned mean. When she started snapping at little kids I knew we had to put her down. We took her to the vet after hours where the vet was waiting with a baby quilt spread out on the floor and soft lights. Oh, how my husband sobbed! We scattered her ashes in a lake where my husband used to take her for her walks. Spirit Lake in Juneau.
Sometimes they are just too damaged.
On a happier note, the guy that owned the kennel where she was mistreated ended up getting his karma burger in a very big way.
10
I love animals yet I love my fellow human beings more. Sentiments like those expressed in this article should be extended to people all around the world who need to be "rescued" from unbearable suffering, traumas and tribulations and beg to be restored to physical and emotional health, safety, education, economic well-being and acceptance. This is my personal dream. It goes beyond my adopted pet.
6
@HMP Yes, the most effective things that Americans can do to help the world is to get our own house in order, become educated about poverty, the futility of endless wars and educate ourselves about other cultures.
5
Beware! You’ll be branded a flaming liberal by those who mistakenly consider themselves self made women / men.
2
Just before I read this my cat JB came prancing in, walking between me and the computer, demanding *all* of my attention. You know, being a normal cat. So I pet him, cuddled him, laughingly pushed him out of the way. He settled against my back for a few minutes before getting up to check the food bowl or to do his catly rounds.
And then I read this and remembered the *other* JB, the cat of five years ago. His former owner (a neighbor) thought that he was a b-a-d c-a-t (we spell that phrase around here now!). Nothing he did was right: he got yelled at for killing *mice*, he got put into a cage for growling at a stray cat in his yard, he was "unfriendly" and "antisocial", he was wild and uncontrollable. His owner was convinced that he was half wild cat--she had a complicated theory about a former wild animal park in the area.
We took him in when his owner went into a nursing home. For the first two weeks we couldn't touch him and he cringed away if we "caught" him playing with a cat toy. Then one night he came into my room and put a paw up on my bed as if to ask if it was allowed. I invited him up and he let me scritch him, but he was still unsure about the whole thing until I got to the magic spot between the shoulder blades, when he melted all over my bed. It was like the first hit of an addictive drug and he's been a love junkie ever since.
We joke that he's not antisocial, he's Uncle Social.
30
Thank you sharing. Your metapor for your dog vs what we are currently experiencing throughout this country was beautifully written. As you said you hold out hope that the nation itself will will live up to its own promise...and the arc of the moral universe will always bend towards justice. The question is how much brutality will we all have to go through before we stop screaming. I fear the price will be too high and I am frightened that we never will recover unless we can remove the present government in power.
13
We rescued our 12 year old Belgian sheepdog mix from a horrific hoarding situation ehen he was several months old. At first, he was afraid of everything and eveyone. He is now the most loving dog you can imagine. We did not give up on him when it would have been easier to do so.
13
"Lord help me... to be the person my dog thinks I am."
14
I had one such rescue dog, Cutter. I adopted him when he was about 2 and terrified of everything. He crawled whenever he was around people for about a month. The sight of any long object, like a leash, sent him howling upstairs to hide. It was a year before I could bend over to pet him without him flinching. He was bone thin, with a belly full of parasites.
Luckily, my lab, Lucia, won him over. He loved and trusted her, so her trust in me helped change him. After about 6 weeks I heard a strange noise--he'd finally gotten his nerve up to play with her. When he saw her sit by the door when I took out a leash, he tried it too. He stopped crawling. Whenever he was scared or didn't know what to do, he did what she did. The Oriental rug they ripped to shreds? Who cared?
Cutter lived to 15. When Lucie passed 4 years earlier, his depression disappeared when I rescued another female lab.
He was a brave, brave boy, intelligent and resourceful. After a few years, 99% of the time you'd never know he'd been abused.
I've been rescuing elderly dogs since. I lost one in October and another 2 weeks ago. I'm retiring this fall and looking at an elderly bonded pair because i want to travel and could never give up a dog. But it's hard knowing I'll probably never have a young adult dog again. It's hard to keep losing the seniors, having lost 4 in the last three and a half years.
27
Us dogs who need help love you, Margaret.
10
We need more folk like Margaret Renkl, who hold out hope for so many damaged animals who need kindness and patience to become whole again. I hope the parable will hold for each day the Liar in Chief brings new woes to our country; yesterday it was 'who cares about birds accidentally killed by drilling, least we make less money, the God I worship!
What will it be today?
9
Thank you, Ms.Renkl.
3
You just described our rescue, LOL! Glad to hear there are others as you state, “becoming.”
4
We, too, own a rescue, a husky girl I found shivering and starving on a Los Angeles street. Someone had shaved her hair to the bone, and she weighed barely 35 pounds (today, healthy, she weighs 55). When ewe brought her to the vet, she desperately needed to sleep, but was too fearful, and would only relax if I had my hand on her, calming.
Leilei had never known the dog-human bond. We think she was chained outside, and she was bred many times. She was shakingly afraid of stairs, bowls, noise, and every human but me (and, slowly, my husband). At one point six months or so in, walking, she was attacked by two off-leash bulldogs. I had to pry their jaws off her while the owner apologized helplessly. She came home and huddled in my lap, crying and peeing, and I thought we'd lost all progress - but she bounced back in a day.
Today she's a fluffy white ball of joy (a BIG ball), tail up like a semaphore, endlessly loving to all around us. We joke that her breed is 'attention hound". And every time we see her gleefully prance to the door, fawn on a visitor, or sleep as she does on her back, snoring, all four paws waving unconcernedly in the air - it's a reminder that healing really happens and that joy is always hiding somewhere just around the next corner.
Thank you for this, Ms. Renkl.
457
@Elizabeth tears of gratitude for the goodness humans and dogs possess--and for your witness of it. thank you.
27
@Elizabeth Beautiful !
22
@Laura Weisberg thank you so much! I feel this article has brought out so much goodness in its readers...it's wonderful to read <3
21
What a lovely article - but it reminds me that the current occupant of 1600 Pennsylvania Ave has never had a dog.
Lucky for all dogs!
20
@Ranger Rob
There IS a god, after all.
3
What a beautiful story!. One of my rescue dogs was thrown from a truck as a puppy and the other was surrendered by his family. During these terrible and scary times, I cling to them almost as much as they cling to me.
9
I don't think it's an accident that canines go by the name of dog since we all know what that spells backwards.
These four-legged treasures give the kind and degree of love, empathy and joy that seems like a gift from above.
On more than one occasion, I have said to my husband, our perfect and sweet Abby was a gift from heaven. I believed that when she was alive and more now than ever because I often times feel her by my side. She continues to be our gift from heaven.
9
I always wondered what John McCain would have been like as President- he having led a life unlike the pampered.
Our rescue dogs seem to know something about life and that makes them better dogs.
My personal hope is to continue to rescue dogs, and when my kids are gone, to rescue a person- by fostering a child (shhh, don't tell my wife).
9
@Robert Sweet. I hope your wife will agree and love you for it.
5
Ah, the joys of helping a living creature heal and flower, especially a pooch. Made me cry and touched me deeply. Having a hard time finding that "moral universe" Dr. King spoke of here in America these days.
11
"It would be absurd to turn this one little rescue dog into an analog for a troubled country, much less for humanity as a whole"
Not absurd at all. Irrational fear and rational fear are very real. We also have a rescue who would scream at the least perceived threat. She is now strong and trusting.
We all adapt. It is good to have these examples of what can happen when trust is reestablished. It is a process, it can take a lot of time, but it can and will happen. We just must be stronger than the abusers.
As MLK said: "Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend" It can also transform fear into strength.
9
There are great stories of adoptions that went very well and I admire them. But I have encountered not a few rescue owners that didn't turn out so nicely. Often people find out why the dog was put in a shelter. But the breed-specific adoption agencies are in a class by themselves. For a border collie I had this real world conversation:
"Why do you want a dog?"
"Because I work at home and would like the company. Also, I have an 11 year old son and I would like him to have a dog to greet him when he comes home from school, and play with him."
"Those aren't reasons."
"[dumbfounded] Well.....I have had problems with other adoption agencies too....I guess I'll have to buy a dog."
"You can't do that."
"Actually, I think I can!"
Anyhow we've had my delightful Pembroke Corgi for eight years now. The son's in college. I've never regretted my decision.
6
Millie is a lucky dog, and you are a wonderful writer. Thanks for brightening my day.
8
Thank you. My Rescue dog, Sparky, is just entering the mischief stage. Now, when he does something like tearing up the garden beds, well enough protected from former. dogs, he stands right next to me and apologizes profusely. Before, when seeing that he had offended, he hid in the farthest corner.
2
Animals teach humans compassion and empathy if we allow it. Sentient beings. They just want to live and be loved just like most of us. The cruelty in full expression today by head office is inexcusable. It's telling why there's not a dog living in the big white house on the hill. Thanks for this heartwarming article. NYTimes: please give us more of this type of content.
6
Thank you, once again, Margaret Renkl. My rescue cat and dog (both with considerable problems) sleep peacefully at the foot of the bed. Making the rest of their days happy and safe is a promise I’m going to keep.
7
We have always adopted rescue dogs. Because as much as we give them, we always receive more.
10
God bless everyone who acts for the best in all of His creations no matter our limited understandings of the gift of life.
9
Please get this dog to a professional trainer! I am so happy that Millie has gotten to the point where she feels comfortable misbehaving; it's clearly a big deal for her and it shows how far she's come.
But it's not an excuse for a badly behaved dog, and the longer you indulge her, the harder it will get for her to break these bad habits. Dogs need routine to feel safe and stable. If her routine means that she can demand food from you by physically misbehaving, it's going to continue to happen until you do something to break the habit. Relatedly, dogs who feel the need to ask for food or a walk don't trust their owners fully enough to relax and wait for us to care for them. It's the #1 thing our trainer drilled into us for our own little dog. She needs direction from you in order to fully trust your authority. Rewarding bad behavior makes it a lot harder to reach that goal.
Badly behaved rescue dogs turn people off from adopting. Please don't let Millie scare people away from putting in the work to save a rescue.
2
I have a plaque above the bed that holds me, my wife, and our rescue dog of three years: "Rescue is my favorite breed." How true.
8
@CS
I LOVE that - "Rescue is my favorite breed."
I want a bumper sticker and a coffee cup with that on it.
3
With both of our U.S. senators making pretty despicable headlines in recent days, many of us here in the Volunteer State are woefully embarrassed to call Tennessee home. Margaret Renkl's gracious and generous writing goes a long way to salve our shame. She is truly a treasure.
17
Ten-pound Lucy, found in a California field, still looks behind her when walking at night, just to reassure herself that nothing’s going to sneak up on us. After four years, she finally understands toys.
Our dear departed Isaac was terrified of grass. He’d scream and spin until we picked him up. We surmised he’d been raised in a cage.
Having healed up some canine babies, I’d like to believe that this metaphor applies to our traumatized nation and its people. However, there are some wounded animals that do not get better, no matter how much love is showered on them. Seeing all the damage that our country has gone through, I fear we may be broken beyond healing and repair. There is more damage yet to be inflicted.
An ineffably cruel man has just been given more power than any President before him. He has now been unleashed. He is free to do as he wants and I fear we have only seen a small sample of what he is capable of. There will be no stopping him now. We should be frightened.
I, too, want to believe that our nation will heal with time. But, even with Trump gone, won’t his angry followers still remain? Will they continue the cycle of evil and cruelty Trump has modeled? Or, will goodness and kindness prevail.
Living in the not-knowing is wounding in itself.
13
@Kathryn
One day at a time. Consider the alternative: you could think that our national nightmare is "normal".
4
@jumblegym - LOL. I need all the laughs I can get:-). Thanks!
3
I agree. We all have PTSD and we all need someone to stroke our back. Peace.
11
Thank you for all you're doing for Millie! We need these stories today to remind us what's good in the world. However, one word in this article haunts me: kibble. If you want to see Millie blossom over time, banish dry dog food from your house. Dogs need moisture in their diet to thrive: fresh food. Canned with water added, freeze dried, or raw like their ancestors ate. We adopted a cat whose life has blossomed thanks to a raw food diet and the changes in her behavior (not to mention soft fluffy coat, increased energy, and healthy stool) have been mind-boggling. She would hide behind the stove for days when we had guests but today comes out to rub on their legs for attention!
7
Thank you so much. This really is thought provoking for so many reasons. If only we could be so patient with people when they act differently. I’d love to see more tolerance and kindness to each other. Our rescue, Daisy sure has taught us a lot about love and kindness. Reassuring her when she barks at every new thing. We learned to say “Thank you” to the dog for showing us something new. So many times she has alerted us to some beautiful scenes in nature we would have missed. Just the other night she began a low growl. I turned off the lights to see what she was seeing. Just behind our fence and hedge was a buck with huge antlers laying down. Another buck approached and they began to tussle and clack with their antlers. It was so beautiful, I woke my husband to watch. Yes, we are so blessed by the sixth sense!
7
I love everything you write and write about. You are an absolute treasure.
And yes, rescue dogs... We all have our stories about the strange things they do when they first arrive in our homes..
Mikey, one of our rescue dogs and a terrier, did not bark for several months after we had him. We were concerned there might be something wrong with his vocal cords! Until one evening I heard a strange sound coming from the kids' bedroom. I went to investigate and there was Mikey, jumping around on my daughter's bed, up and down and in circles, blankets and sheets a mess, yelping with happiness. It seemed that all of a sudden he had an epiphany, realizing that this really was his forever home, and that he was safe. It was the sweetest sound ever!
The next day at the sound of the doorbell, Mikey barked like a pro, asserting himself as a full member of the family.
20
For goodness sake... Time and effort - years of - better spent helping a child be fed, teaching an adult to read, caring for a sick person who can't stand up safely on their own... Some people will understand this, others will just yell at me. Please don't do that. Do call me when your dog gets up at 2 a.m., fires up the snow plow, and comes and pulls your car out of a snowbank before you, your pregnant wife and crying daughter, all freeze to death... Be wise. And, be well.
1
@Johnny Woodfin
And why couldn't saving the life of a rescue dog or cat not be included in the wonderful, thoughtful and kind acts you described?
If this article was about altruism in general, then I think your point would be spot on. However, it's an article about one kind and compassionate person who could have turned her back on this poor little thing, but chose to take her into her life, to save her life.
This remarkable and loving article sparked the kindness and generosity of others as witnessed by their comments.
I think your comment, Mr Woodfin, is an important one because there is always room in this world to help provide food for those who go hungry every day, or to teach an adult the value and gift of reading, or to help care for someone who is so sick, cannot get out of bed, much less make something to eat.
And by the way, many a dog and a cat, have notified their "pet parent" when someone tried to break into our house, or when a fire started in the back porch in the middle of the night, or when my husband passed out and stopped breathing and I was in the other end of the house, completely unaware.
And by the way, the only reason why our perfect chocolate lab did NOT fire up the snow plow was because my husband always beat her to it.
12
@Marge Keller
There is also the "lack of thumbs" problem.
8
Just wonderful. Thank you
2
This is a wonderful piece about the potential we all have--with courage and love and support--to heal from the worst of our wounds and, while we are doing this, to move the boulder of Goodness forward a tiny bit. I have rescued two dogs in my adult life, and each had real pain and angst within when they came to me. Their healing was all tied up with my own, as I made my way back from two bouts with cancer, my husband walking out, my father dying suddenly and financial destruction. Animals have a great deal to teach us. Especially right now.
15
"A stumble in the dark may elicit a yelp, but a tender touch will always bring Millie back to us now. When cruelty is all the news ever seems to hold anymore, I try to remember that too."
A beautiful piece, about so much more than just dogs. We could all use a little more kindness right now.
16
My dog came with some fears and skittishness--not nearly as much as the author's--and she has similarly gotten over most of it, and I've learned a lot from helping her get over it.
Dog is love.
13
Beautiful story for our times! I’ve had rescue animals my entire life, and we’ve definitely enriched each other’s lives. Thank you.
8
About 16 years ago, I accompanied my ex to an animal rescue fair, giving her moral support as she adopted a cat. Then I saw a pure white cat, about nine months old, in another cage. When I let him out, he sniffed around the area, exploring it like a reporter, my profession. So I adopted him.
I lived in a second floor Santa Monica apartment, accessible through a public walkway, and took out part of a louvered window so the cat, named Buddy, could roam freely. Afterwards, whenever I got home, Buddy ran up to me - literally ran. I felt undeserving of this - I had not brought him any special treats - but Buddy kept doing this for the rest of his life: a one-cat welcome committee. His affection and trust in me in virtually all things changed my life. In time, my girlfriend became my ex; Buddy remained my best friend. Although he is gone four years now, I still think of him every day - and smile.
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@Joseph Hanania Buddy probably has a cousin out there who also needs a home. Just a thought!
6
It is a wondrous thing, to see a little creature suddenly drop all their fear and begin to blossom in personality. They utterly conquer our hearts. So it is with our Turkish rescue kitten (one of 2 we brought with us) whom we called "Hissy Missy", for her warning hisses. When her brother was killed suddenl (he darted out after a squirrel) only 4 months after the very difficult trip to bring them here, it ripped a part of our hearts away. We didn't know if his sister would think we had something to do with his death, having likely seen her littermates killed by dogs or cars. We entered into a world of animal psychology for which it's possible decades of caring for numerous pets in our 5- child household prepared us. But nothing prepared us for her waiting for his return at the window, leaving food in her dish, calling for him. 3 months on, she still leaves food for him, waits at the window or sleeps in the sink where they would cuddle, but it is less now than it was; she cuddles with us, plays with our old dog, watches birds and squirrels from inside the house. When struggling then, with the decision of whether to show her his remains, I wrote to Tammy Billups, author of a beautiful book on our Animal Companions. She wrote back but wisely left the decision to us.That was not to show our girl her brother' body, since trauma was to have been a part of her past. Now, each day we see her sweet, funny personality emerging, and I feel her brother would be very glad, indeed.
26
Here's one for the analog for a troubled country: my rescue dog developed glaucoma in one eye, which had to be removed. When glaucoma in the other eye set in, I figured I'd have to euthanize her. No sight? No problem! As long as I didn't move the furniture and parked in exactly the same spot, Lucy bounded through the house, out the door and leaped up into the back seat as she had in her sighted days. Going deaf? It only meant she didn't bark at the mailman. My point: resiliency in the face of setbacks, seemingly unsurmountable. We'll persevere as a nation. Just remain diligent that no one moves the furniture on us.
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Thanks, you are the only op-ed writer that I read. The rest of them are a waste of time (not interested in their politics). I have shared my life with many dogs (most adopted) and none of them has ever screamed although my little boy now is somewhat shy. Thanks for being so lovely and patient. Life without a dog is a life not worth living. But my best friend would probably say the same about her cat!
21
@Carol you may not care about politics but they inform all aspects of life...including how animals are treated.
7
Thank you for this beautiful article. Our rescue dog, Peter, has gone through a similar transformation. I'll always remember the first night we brought him home. He was sitting in his dog bed, trembling, and my husband and I decided to sing to him. Peter looked at my husband, then at me, then back at my husband. Finally, his body relaxed and he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep. It's one of my most treasured memories.
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@S.R. Now that was a touching tale!
6
@S.R. Lovely! Many years ago, our first rescue pup, Maggie, used to come lie under my baby grand piano whenever I would play. My husband traveled a lot for work at the time and Maggie was my companion and protector although only 35 lbs. She lived for 16 years and, even after all this time and other dogs, I still shed a tear when thinking of her. Dogs are wonderful!
6
Love your storytelling. Double love your comment that if we as a nation are also ‘becoming’, perhaps this upheaval is a necessary part of creating a whole and just Union for all citizens.
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Thank you so much for sharing a beautiful story. So glad Millie found a loving home. I've adopted problem animals and know how much patience and love it takes to care for them - a lot.
And, yes our country would be much better off if we practiced these lessons and kindness towards others.
14
We have our own Millie. From a sound sleep or simply walking across the floor, Olive used to scream and jump as if being shocked. Any light touch needed to be announced beforehand, and we invested in multiple night lights.
Many years later, she loves shoulder rubs, doing tricks, hogging the pillow, swimming, and us. Our motto is "We have to let Olive be Olive."
I want to thank you for the reminder that the arc is long and courage is obtainable. Just ask Olive.
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Once I look into the eyes of a rescue dog or cat, it's all over because they're coming home with me.
A magical moment has occurred in which instantaneous love from their mug to my mine has been exchanged and a permanent bond has taken root.
There's something about their eyes - they hold such empathy and love with merely a simple gaze.
30
Thank you for an article of such sweetness and hope -- not unrealistic hope "the thing with feathers".
19
Beautiful! Thank you so much for helping me start my Monday morning with some hope in my heart.
24
We were Chance's third home. We know nothing about his original owners, only that they abandoned him to the streets. Friends cared for him until he came to us, a quivering mess afraid of every man he saw, every stick-like object he saw, every sneeze. The strange scars on his body suggested a frightening previous attack.
It took him almost two years to stop running away. When he did, a neighbor commented on his changed behavior. "He's got nowhere to run away to any more. He finally knows he's home."
A lot of rescue dogs have been mistreated. They're in shelters for a reason. Patience, compassion, love and a stable routine (and treats) can change the outlook of many dogs. It's important for us caretakers to let them recover from past trauma for as long as it takes.
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@kim murray
As I read your comment I was struck by the semblance to the caged, abandoned immigrant children in our country. Who will love and nourish them enough so that they can grow from frightened children into adults who can love and trust others? The wounds of hatred will remain forever, but surely there must be some way we can rescue and heal them if we can only care enough - soon enough.
11
Thanks for a heartfelt article. As I am writing this our rescue, Lucy, is nudging for attention and letting me know it is time for
her dinner. She knows all about time, affection, patience, compassion, and being in the now and always shares it with us. I bet she could win the election against the un-Dogly POTUS.
23
When I open the NYT, I always look to see if you have written an article. When I see that you have written an article, it is always the first article that I read. Thank you for your beautiful words and your wonderful insight. I am glad that you and Millie found each other.
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The article made my day. I think I will skip all the news about our political woes, possible pandemic flu, travel bans, immigration, etc. and just savor the good feeling I have after reading Millie’s story.
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if we were just the owners all dogs need - present, engaged, consistent, open, understanding and physically active - we would be much better people.
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Here in Manhattan it's not easy to approach people you don't know. I've seen a woman walking a dog in my neighborhood for about a year. At first her dog was unable to go three feet without stopping, whining, clearly uncomfortable, scared, anxious. Still, every day this woman patiently walked her dog, distributing treats at all the right moments while training. Now, nearly a year has passed and her dog is calm, well behaved, and adorable. Last month I mustered up the nerve to stop her and say hello, tell her how I've noticed her hard work and ask about her dog. Sure enough, it's a rescue. I told her I was so pleased to see her dedication pay off, that I admired her training skills and passion for her canine companion. Now when we pass one another we just nod, smile and keep moving. It pleases me immensely to see her dedication pay off...and I'm sure her dog knows she's one lucky pup.
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@jimmboy Oh, she knows. Rescue dogs are the most loyal and gracious of pets once they're acclimated to a loving friend.
7
I marvel at you patience and kindness and am happy it was so well rewarded by a loving and grateful dog.
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@Jsailor :
I would restate your well meant statement. Thank you for working so hard to bring this frightened, abused dog back to a more normal life, which is worth living.
2
God bless your carrying heart for bringing your precious Millie through her traumas. I too am just now rescuing a cat who came from similar circumstances. What an uplifting story - thank you for writing us and thank you to publisher.
21
One of the many blessings of canine love vs. human love is that the window of forgiveness is always open, my mistakes never come back and bit me, and dogs never hold a grudge.
The only human exception to the above is my husband - he is as perfect as all of our dogs and cats combined. He is like my canine best friend, only on two rather than four legs.
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I'm very glad to hear about your kindness to Millie and her recovery. I imagine (or sure hope) that the vast majority of people would choose kindness and compassion over cruelty. Let's please also remember the millions of farm animals who experience unspeakable cruelty every day, right here in the USA. They are no different than Millie, or any other beloved dog or cat. Leaving animals off your plate, and also eggs, milk and cheese, is the easiest way to create a more compassionate world. There are many resources for moving towards a plant-strong lifestyle, which is also much better for the planet.
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@Harriett
Our culture is moving away from eating meat. It’s easy to drink oat milk instead of dairy milk, find vegetarian dishes at restaurants and we finally have fast food meat free burgers! My meat loving husband has cut back drastically over the past couple years.
Almonds and cows take too much water here in California.
We all know that. Time to move on from the past......
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@Susan C
Cats have to eat meat. Otherwise, they become very sick.
7
@Harriett Thank you for your astute comments, Harriett. It is sad that many who claim to love animals restrict their love to some, not all animals.
5
I woke this Monday morning with a heavy heart. The thought of hearing of a deceptive senate acquittal, my son making his masked way home from Southeast Asia, and an anticipated 73 degree drop in temp over the next 48 hours here in Denver. Everything turned upside down. But your essay brought clarity to what is important, Ms Renkl.: to trust in the power of kindness, the arc of moral justice, and the slow healing that comes from unconditional love and support. Thank you for this moving essay.
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Your columns about Millie are so touching and your timeline with her is similar to ours. We adopted a Beagle from Korea through Seattle Beagle Rescue. He came to us in Sept 2018, 4 yrs old, not house trained, terrified of everything. Noah was definitely a challenge, but now he is a happy boy. One lingering fear - our walk is a loop in the neighborhood. For the first half, he pulls me back toward home. As we round the loop, he pulls me forward to get home. I hope that eventually he realizes that this is truly his furever home. Thanks to you and the commenters for an inspirational start to the day!
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@Karen O'Shea Sounds like he already realizes it. Not a perfect canine lifestyle maybe, but it's the one he wants, the one that far exceeds his past ... your home is his chosen universe. (one of ours is like that)
3
I just completed my morning walk/run with my rowdy rover Aziza who also happens to be a rescue. And I can’t tell you how much I enjoyed reading your lovely essay. Thank you, Ms. Renkl.
"I think dogs are the most amazing creatures; they give unconditional love. For me, they are the role model for being alive.” — Gilda Radner
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I believe what you write is correct. I hope the promises are fulfilled sooner rather than later. Hanging on isn't easy...
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I shudder to think what Millie endured before you rescued her. The amount of cruelty in this world saddens me. All the PSA and videos may help but overall abuse continues with children and pets. I applaud your humanity and steadfastness in caring for Millie. The world needs more people like you.
37
Bravo to Ms Renkl, who has discovered what my wife and I waited to discover until the third trimester of our lifespans ... that rescue dogs, especially special needs rescues, can enhance our lives like few other things. The 9 rescues we have had included 6 tripawds, there was 1 missing eye, 1 suspect eye, and one whose mixed DNA disguised the fact his Mohawk hairdo said "part Rhodesian Ridgeback" rather than "omg, his hackles are up!" HE was 100% fully equipped, but those faux hackles had no one adopting him, week after week. Dogs 2 through 9 owed a thanks to Muffin, our first adoption. We took her because we were finally ready for our first dog, and a friend was a serial "Foster" for a local rescue group. Only 3 feet or not, it was love at first sight, and the potentially progressive disease known as Rescuing Dogs set in after that. We reasoned that if we were going to rescue dogs who had no home, we might as well rescue those less likely to be adopted by other people. We have never looked back or regretted it, we have instead always been grateful for the choice we made, aided greatly by ol' Muffin (RIP) back in 2001.
One word of caution raised by something Ms Renkl said about gumdrop-stealing dogs: the sugar in some gumdrops, chewing gum, and similar products may not be good for dogs, but it is not fatal. The sugar-free versions of those products otoh usually contain Xylitol, which can be fatal to dogs. Be careful about what you leave laying around dogs.
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@David
You guys are the best. Thanks for being rescue parents and the excellent advice about Xylitol.
30
@Lynn A We had tried human kids, but they had 2 legs (each) and were not special needs. What we have now is Stage 4 Empty Nest Syndrome.
6
@David I have been told many times that the animals least likely to be adopted from shelters (besides the sick and senior) are black cats and dogs. Peoples' strange superstitions (I wont attribute racist bias) apparently exist to this day. I've had three black cats and dogs and I can attest to the fact that they're just like any other cat or dog; they're just black - and beautiful! Please give one a home.
10
Thank you for rescuing Millie and thank you for such an uplifting article during these difficult times.
33
When our first miniature schnauzer, Valmont, nearly 16, drowned in the swimming pool of our friends who bred him, we took in a rescue who had been returned, traumatized, to his breeder. Django was 4.5 months old when he came to us, and we realized something was wrong within two days, at which time we loved him and provided him with a great home (and four trips to Europe!).
We did well by doing good.
We were distraught when Django suddenly ran a high fever and was lethargic. Our car was packed and ready to drive to winter in Florida, so we cancelled the hotel reservatons and took Django for evaluation.
It was a form of acute leukemia, and we chose to keep him with us at home, as we knew that hospitalization and separation for a few months more of existence would be taken as abandonment by him. When the time came, he let us know of his pain, and we took him to the vet's for a painless death for which WE felt all pain. My last words to him: "We'll always have Paris." Yes, he loved the quiet of the Place Vendôme for his morning walk there.
We are now on our third miniature schnauzer. I cannot see living without a dog.
40
“Maybe we’re all creatures in the process of becoming.” Beautifully said, and so true. We have so much to learn from our canine friends. Indeed, they become family as our own did, There were times I considered our little Timmy my son with two big sisters. There were other times when his gentle reactions and tilted head made me wonder if he were the parent and me the child! Our pets are little gifts. We witness the results when we love and nurture them. And in return we receive an unrelenting loyalty with licks and “smiles” of affection, too. At 74, I am still “becoming.” I wish my Mom and Dad were here to comfort me as I journey through the pain of a husband of 53 years battling advanced Parkinson’s. But, oh, how I would love to come home after those daily visits to my empathic and compassionate Timmy. I guess, though, his memory urges me on.
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@Kathy Lollock, I wish you small comforts on your journey.
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@Kathy Lollock
Kathy, comfort to you.
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@Kathy Lollock
I simply adore your comment.
Much love and tenderness are being sent your way Kathy via my heart and thoughts of you. I wish you and your husband inner strength as you both continue down that painful road. Some how I think Timmy is around, especially in spirit.
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I awoke this morning concerned with cruelty, past and present. Your story about Millie was just what I needed.
40
One little pooch saved from the tyranny of another species, us.
Billions of birds killed, by us. Forest fires caused by us kill millions of forest creatures and disfigure, so utterly cruel are we. trump, (why does his name always come up? Because he his utterly cruel.) This week he eliminated laws that protected birds from industrial wanton slaughter.
When a dog or cat or any animal is rescued, so is a bit of us.
88
Thank you to all who open your hearts to a damaged rescue animal. The rewards are amazing, for both the animal and the rescuer.
26
Thank you for saving sweet Millie!
16
Your writing elicits tears of hope Margaret Renkl, tears of hope.
27
and yet republicans continue to support their deplorable president
20
Margaret, will you please adopt me? Also maybe run for president.
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Thanks. Needed this this morning.
18
Rescues are the best. They are a delight and a joy to have as part of the family.
Too bad rescue organizations make it so difficult to rescue dogs!
I love boxers and when my second rescue mix breed boxer died, I was looking for a third. I sent a lengthy application to NY Boxer rescue (I got my first dog from them.) I paid (donated) $10 to have them evaluate my application. The letter thanking me for the application has a p.s. “Don’t be surprised if you never hear from us.” or words to that effect. Eighteen months later and no word.
Out of FIVE rescue organizations, lengthy applications and repeated calls and notes to them, only two would seriously talk with me. I had to provide names and numbers of people to recommend me, which is fine, but letting them know who I was providing their name to and what each rescue wanted to know was annoying to the folks doing the recommending. The rescues would not keep my info and would call the folks again for each individual dog I was interested in. I was really not picky, I dropped the idea of a boxer mix and wanted a young adult female dog which would walk about 5 miles a day and be kind to cats. I went through the application/interview/video of my home process and then was told to wait.
After about 3 months of back and forth, I got fed up and went to boxer breeders and adopted a dog which had an emergency c-section and was no longer a good breeder. I drove 10 hours each way to get her. She is a joy!
Sound of silence from NY Boxer
40
@SZ This happens routinely with rescue organizations. Out here in California, having an actual job is an inescapable barrier to adopting a rescue, because you can't be at the dog's side 24/7. (No one has disclosed how you are expected to maintain a house or buy dog food if you're not working.) By this measure a homeless person would be the idea adopter, except for paying the fees.
You can meet this standard? But it's not the only one. They want pictures of your yard and house. They want a "home visit." If you are over 65 you are shut out because you might die. (No one seems to worry that younger people, too, die of various causes.) One I talked to wanted the right to make surprise visits - indefinitely.
So rescues are a good idea in theory, but not so much in practice. Rescue operations, mostly run by volunteers, apparently get a big thrill out of controlling your life forever.
I bought a puppy. From a good breeder who cared lovingly for the pups until they were 8 weeks old. Then we took over. She was never traumatized and never will be.
Sorry for all the rescues, but I could never qualify. I have a huge yard (10 acres) and being retired we're almost always home, but we're in our 70's and we would have been disqualified. (Not to mention my unwillingness to allow strangers to "visit" my home for years to check up on my dog.)
16
@SZ I went through the same lengthy process. When the foster mother delivered the tiny pooch, she wouldn't let me near him. She finally burst into tears: "I can't leave him. He's not ready." She had already told me the dog had bonded with her husband. As they walked out the door I said "I think it's you that's not ready. This dog has already found his home."
I ended up adopting another wonderful pooch (not from the same agency). I think about that aborted adoption sometimes, imagining that tiny little thing curled up on her husband's lap. Foster parents really are the unsung heroes of most of these adoptions.
6
@Susan
I am 76, and just adopted a rescue. He is a bundle of bad habits, but such a charmer when he apologizes. Lots of work, but another 10-15 years with such a companion is worth it.
5
Margaret, you complete me. And who got the better deal, you or Millie ? Who was really rescued ?
There are very few things in life that cannot be cured with a Dog. Or Two. There is a reason Trump hates Dogs, they are excellent judges of character. They know to steer clear of rabid animals.
I really needed this, after the sordidness of the
“ Impeachment “ Trial. Thank you.
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@Phyliss Dalmatian
I think there is a little "Millie" in many of us right about now.
I also think Margaret Renkl's column is not only the best part of Monday but also an emotional shield that is much needed to take on the each every new week, especially now more than ever.
11
I recently rescued a bully dog from a wonderful group in Dallas. She was covered in mange, her little teets nearly scraped the ground after years of being used to breed, and her teeth were so infected that the vet pulled a hair ball out of her jaw bone during surgery. My dog is now happy, healthy, and the hit of the neighborhood. She has forgiven the world for her mistreatment and loves all people and animals, even cats. But I'll never forget what one of the neighbors said when I first brought her home, a sad, pathetic, hurting, scared, creature with a hopeful future: "She looks exactly how she's supposed to look now that she's home. Beautiful."
43
I am snuggling with my own rescue Bear. All I have to do is run my hands over her thick black fur and we both are comforted.
We have both been through our traumas in our earlier selves, but now...she trusts me and I trust her and in that, there is love.
23
17 years ago I stopped for gas on my way to work. There was a bit of a kerfuffle at the side of the road. An 'Animal Control Officer' (i.e. dog catcher) was scooping up puppies to take to who knows where. I opened the car door and in jumps a black and white mutt. Cowering on the floor on the passenger side this fluffy half breed looked up at me, scared and confused. And needed a soft place to fall, A safe place to fail...Just like me. I had been through a divorce. Just starting an iffy relationship, etc. etc. SO, I took him to work. (BIG HIT there!) And he has been my constant friend ever since. He's nearing the end now, wheezes when he sleeps, sometimes has 'accidents' in the house (but shows true remorse afterwards). He has been my best friend through weddings and funerals and the births of all my great nieces and nephews. His name is Bandit. Because he stole my heart.
763
@C.A.Perich
"His name is Bandit. Because he stole my heart."
Best reason for that name - EVER!!!
My husband always said that every cat and dog that graced our lives are professional thieves - because of how skilled they are at stealing our heart.
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@C.A.Perich Best name EVER!
30
@C.A.Perich
Try some big dog pads where he sleeps (if you are lucky enough to have him sleep in one place, as mine does in a closet)....he should not feel guilty and it makes life far easier...They are fairly cheap.
30
Lovely essay. And it’s unsurprising that the current occupier of the Oval Office doesn’t have a pet and hates dogs.
39
I too adopted a scared and reactive dog....and he was blind. Kyle turned into a joy of a companion. And yes, even a nephew who had been the objective of his scared barking could pet and feed him later. He commented "this is not the same dog!" Love and persistence payed off...for both of us!
24
No accident that the pet industry has exploded! We are desperate for the unconditional love that our beloved furry soul mates give us. My mother welcomed into our fold, our pack, any dog who wandered onto our suburban yard. Stinky, disheveled and diseased, we took them in. The legacy continues and we have rarely been without a rescued companion. What a lovely piece, Ms. Renkl. Thank you for this salve for the soul!
28
Wonderful to read a story about the healing salve that is love, care and affection. But it’s hard to forget that in the time before this story began, Millie must have been badly abused. That she was able, with patience and care, to recover trust is marvelous. What is sickening is think that another human being inflicted the damage that instilled terror.
25
Tears and smiles for this Margaret. These pups need us and a lot of patience and time.
If you all have a rescue animal you won’t regret the love you will share.
Millie will have a good life now.
13
Margaret, you have a gift. Thank you for sharing.
22
I too rescued a very scared and damaged pup. He could scream and wake the dead. He was on prosaic and so fearful. Today, almost two years later, he and his sidekick are the happiest pups around. My original dog is like a therapy dog for dogs. She gently and lovingly brought the little one out of his shell. They give me hope in the world and in mankind.
26
When we rescue animals and change their lives, we are rescuing ourselves.
29
"Lately it’s been dawning on us that we might have turned Millie into a bit of a brat. " Dogs are not brats. They just do what they're taught to. They love food. Who doesn't?
9
Beautiful! Just the lift I needed this Monday morning after looking at the news. We too have a rescue dog who gives us more hope and joy than I can put into words. Brava to you and all the kind people who care for unwanted animals!
16
Thank you for this tale of hope.
12
So sweet. Ah, yes, but do we do the same for people?
8
@former MA teacher Animals are defenseless creatures who depend on the whims of humans to thrive in this world. We humans are uniquely capable of finding our own resources and aid that help us improve our lives.
6
How beautiful thank you for sharing.
7
We have two rescues, I think you got your dog to return to being who she was before she was traumatized, which is difficult to do. I think people are the same way.
10
Rescue dogs always have a history, even if you don't know it. Millie was HIGHLY "reactive" and that takes lots and lots of patience and reassurance--which is why she's a little spoiled now, not that that's a bad thing!
Right now there's a need for both foster and forever homes for Bahamian "Pot cake" dogs--dogs who lost everything but survived Hurricane Dorian. We fostered one for a few weeks--he had been abandoned in the Abaco Dump, horrible scars yet was sweet as could be with people and dogs, but had lived, in part, on feral cats and saw our 2 as food, so he had to move on. Other than garbage and wild pigs, feral cats are about the only food they can get on Abaco. He's now settling in his forever home in Middle America, with another dog, a bunch of kids, and no cats.
We have since rescued another shelter dog (not a "Pot Cake") and he, too, is a bit reactive, but still a loving dog--a lot bigger than Millie! He's clearly a "puppy mill" dog, out of Eastern Pennsylvania, too.
"Pot Cake" is what mixed breed dogs are called in the Bahamas, and many were transported out after Dorian.
12
“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” Attributed to Plato and can be applied to animals as well.
27
Wish we could elect a rescue dog as president. Since we can’t, I’m supporting Senator Sanders.
Bark for Bernie!
12
@Zareen Glad you were able to get something out of Ms Renkl's essay.
Jim
When we picked up Chauncy from a Westie Rescue organization he was so terrified he tried to bite me, then to squirm out of my hands and run. He had been left outside, covered with mud, and beaten with brooms which also terrified him. He relaxed little by little with our other 5 dogs, but never played or walked up to people. But when he was about 14 he began to sniff little children going by, let himself be pet, and began to play with toys. When we had to put him down and the Vet's needled entered his body he jumped up, grabbed a ball in his mouth, and fell asleep happy.
13
@Julie Prandi I have a rescue Chauncey too but fortunately he never experienced the same things your Chauncey did. However he barks at everything and I think that he is trying to alert me to dangerous squirrels, dangerous trucks that are two blocks away and the occasional blast of wind. However I can't imagine my life without his protective love. My sympathies for the loss of your Chauncey. I'm glad he knew what love was as he crossed the rainbow bridge.
3
Thank you for sharing this. Wiping away tears while typing.
What was that song, "Love is all you need?"
171
@dc Me too..........
7
If you adopt a cat, please put a bell on it if it goes outdoors. The birds remaining would appreciate it.
13
I adopted a cat from the Humane Society in NYC. The cat was rescued from a hoarder in the Bronx that had 32 cats living in a two room apartment. When I saw the cat at the Humane Society he was in a special area for neglected cats. He was emaciated and his teeth were rotten. The vets had to estimate his age because his teeth were so bad. He had to be hand-fed because he didn't know how to eat out of a bowl. When I adopted him and brought him home he was very afraid and hid in my closet for two days. He finally got the courage to come on the couch and sit on my lap. He learned to eat out of a bowl and started packing on the pounds and my vet pulled his bad teeth. He looked like a little black bear. He became so affectionate and he loved to sleep on my head. I just loved the little guy. I named him "Boo" after the character in "Too Kill A Mocking Bird." When he died I had him cremated and his ashes are in a special container on my shelf. After over ten years I still miss my "Boocat." Forget the pet stores. Go to a shelter and adopt a cat or dog. You won't regret it. I guarantee it.
50
What vast relief I feel reading this deeply moving piece during a difficult time, politically and personally. Sometimes it feels like there isn’t a kibble of hope in this world.
30
@LI Funny !
1
I always have mixed feelings when I read articles like this. I am happy and comforted to hear of Millie's later in life good fortune in finally finding peace and joy in her forever home. I am then prompted to tell my rescue dog he is loved and give him the gentle back scratches he adores (he even resembles Millie a bit). I am still not free though, however, of the concurrent angst and disgust this article brings to mind of how many humans can treat companion (and all) animals so badly in the first place. We all share this planet and need to do a much, much better job of that sharing part. Everything is not all about the human.
33
Dear Margaret,
Congratulations! All of your patience with Millie is being rewarded.
You have not turned her into a brat. She now trusts you enough to be impatient for that bite of scrambled egg and to know that her impatience will be tolerated.
I joke that I am putty in the paws of my rescue dog. I buy her treats at Trader Joe's that come in bags with a zip lock. Any time she hears a noise that resembles the sound of one of those bags being opened, she comes in expectation of a treat. She is generally rewarded even if the sound she hears is the opening of the bag of chips. She enjoys her treats as much as any child does with theirs.
Bless you for taking her into your home and transforming her life.
17
@Marla I have two rescues, Chauncey and Shemper. Shemper is my "Millie". He was rescue from a puppy mill and I think must have been treated horribly. He wouldn't let me pet him and would run away from me when I tried to give him treats. Chauncey begs for affection on walks, Shemper would shirk from every touch. Slowly he has start taking treats out of my hand and now begs for the treats I give them both when I leave in the morning for work. He now flips on his back to get his belly scratched. And he is now finally accepting scratches from my neighbors. My mom tells me I'm spoiling my dog. I think I'm giving them the love they didn't get before.
6
Animals like this cherubic dog have seen the worst and the best in humanity. They know the cruelty and indifference alongside the love and devotion. And our power to heal is ultimately the strongest force, something we should never forget.
15
Ms. Renkle,
Your essay makes me want to rush home and snuggle with my sweet Egg. Thank you for speaking to the hearts of doggo rescuers and reminding us that we have lessons to share, lessons this fractured and angry nation needs to learn.
Wag more, bark less :)
25
Margaret Renkl is a very good dog. I say that because I love dogs and consider her to be a leader in the pack I strive to belong in. Another great essay.
21
I just want to thank you for your writing. I love the way you weave the everyday into the bigger worldly picture. I look for your pieces and save them for last reading of the opinion section. You help me reframe the view.
273
Thank you for another inspiring, heart-felt column. Your op-ed and Antiques Roadshow always make me look forward to Mondays.
I have always had cats, and I've found cats who have been homeless and hungry never stop being grateful for their care. They are always appreciative. But our current occupants came from a loving mother and a safe home, and invariably point out our daily failings regarding food, grooming, and attention. Yes, they love us, and I am grateful they never had to endure the trauma your Millie did before you found her.
And I'm so glad you found each other. May you have many happy years together.
16
One of our rescues, Bodie, is a cattle dog mix the pound picked up in Oklahoma, seemingly living under a banged up pick-up truck.
We have the exact address of where he was captured and with Google Earth were able to see the type of squalor he lived amongst.
The dog catcher listed his condition as 'fair' on the paper work.
I'm proud to announce that my wife and I have upgraded his condition to 'spoiled'.
I need his permission to join him on the couch.
Bless all who rescue animals.
It says much about who you are.
57
After our rescue, Ariel, died, my husband said he couldn’t go through the loss again. Four years later, our daughter volunteered at an animal shelter and brought home a young lab mix with a broken leg. He was ‘just staying with us to recover’ but we were foster failures. I’m so grateful for the healing our ever-running, energetic boy brought with him.
38
Millie is a lucky dog. Does our country need luck to become kinder? What will it take. How about a leader who brings out the best in all of us. One can dream, and then vote for that person.
34
@Patsy
This is about rescue dogs.
I think that you can judge a column by its comments. Granted, most of the people who read a Margaret Renkl piece are probably thoughtful, sensitive, and curious to begin with. Nevertheless, and despite a few contrarians, Ms. Renkl always provokes comments that are nearly as insightful and kind as the column itself. Writers like Renkl and animals like Millie (and my own lifetime of cats) are antidotes to cruelty. So thank you, dear commentators, for responding to kindness and compassion with equal measures of the same — and, @Ann O.Dyne, thank you for quoting Emily Dickinson so aptly!
45
As someone who has experienced multiple traumas over many decades as the scapegoat in my dysfunctional family, this beautifully written piece reminds me that change is possible. The hurt does not go away, but maybe it can live alongside the potential for healing, growth and some measure of forgiveness.
Dogs can teach us a lot. They are in some ways a gentle mirror of our own humanity.
51
I have two rescue dogs - Henry and Joni - both from the shelter. I got them at the same time and the shelter actually gave me a discount! Joni was very starved at 3-6 months old. Henry was 2, extremely anxious, barked continually and could not sit still. Two years in, they both look good and Henry has calmed way down. They love each other and sleep with me every night. "Adopt, don't buy, while shelter dogs die." This goes for cats too.
58
@M.K. Ward Amen !!!
I've been fortunate to have several rescue dogs rescue me over the years, including my beautiful Nala lying near me know. Dogs know when you are their forever companion - and so are their forever home. Maybe we are all just creatures in need of rescue.
47
Great viewpoints. Rescue dogs have improved me.
Made me more patient, better understanding and a bit more fit.
These animals show in their humble ways great love in return.
32
@The Chief from Cali
A beautiful and so accurate comment in many ways, especially your closing sentence.
7
We need to stop displaying our status as rescue dog owners like tattoos.
I have a rescue dog. He's an incredible creature who constantly delights and amazes. Who, I often wonder, once had this animal, and why would anyone ever let him go? He snuggles at night. When I come home from work, he behaves as if that moment is the greatest thing that ever happened, charging to and fro, getting up a head of steam, then jumping up against me like a quarterback celebrating a touchdown catch with a receiver. We wrassle and play. He follows me around the house, never an intrusion, just a shadow that keeps me company, just in case.
He is a dog, but he is my dog, and so he is the best dog in the world. There is no deeper meaning.
The rescue dog cult, as I call it, would have us believe that all dogs are like my dog, and that all dogs will turn out like Millie. I am glad that Millie adjusted and became, well, a dog. But neither dogs nor life is so simple. Lots of rescue dogs are rescue dogs for reasons. Rescue organizations, I think, are too prone to pick low-hanging fruit, putting small dogs up for adoption that have wide appeal. But such dogs often have health or behavioral issues difficult to overcome. Having been burned by a so-called rescue group, I speak from experience. No elderly dog with huge health issues should be passed off as much younger and fine.
We all should enjoy our rescue dogs, but we should not pretend that we are Mother Teresa. We got luckier than our mutts.
31
@August West Years ago a “rescuer” paired my family with a dog she swore was both housebroken and ideal around small children. Sadly, we discovered she'd misrepresented his attributes and after he destroyed the carpet, broke out of our fenced yard, attacked the neighbor's toy poodle ($400 in vet bills) and bit my youngest child we had to rehome him.
Beware of any rescue operation that won't allow its placed animals to be returned if their personalities don't blend with those of their new families.
6
I understand you general point but don’t see it as a relevant response to this lovely column that implied no level of self-aggrandizement.
19
Due diligence is necessary.
What does dog size have to do with adoption?
1
Lovely story to start a Monday, Margaret. Please do a better job of hiding those cough drops; they may contain xylitol, which will make poor Millie very ill. Chewing gum was the culprit in our case. Fortunately, the animal hospital managed to save the dog, but it was touch-and-go for a whole week.
19
The only thing that brings more joy to my heart than this particular Margaret Renkl article, are the beautiful and heartwarming comments from her many, many followers.
Thank you everyone. Some how Monday doesn't seem so gloomy and overwhelming after reading, laughing, and crying over so many rich and generous comments!
I love you all.
54
@Marge Keller I totally and whole-heartedly agree with Marge Keller and love reading Margaret Renkl, every single time her articles are published. Just saw a video about fishes; that they are sentient creatures who feel pain and have emotions. What a joyful world this would, could be, if we stop killing all of the creatures in the sea, on the land, and in the sky.
Don't shop, adopt.
Thank you all for your comments.
5
@Marge Keller
Ditto.
3
A lovely column. It brings to mind the saying on a coffee mug my wife received as a gift at Christmas: "Try to be the person your dog thinks you are".
47
@Jim Buttle HA! I have had 9 Rescues, and 2-3 times as many dog-oriented tee shirts. Your coffee mug message appears on one of my shirts. Dogs can hit your wallet in so many ways.
1
In 1999 two dogs were dumped in the alley behind our small, inner-city church. One was an old German Shepherd mix we named Popeye, because one of his eyes had been injured and was white, distended and blind; the other was a 6-week-old puppy we named Peep, because he stood between Popeye's front legs and peeped timidly out. Peep's manage was so bad he had no fur. Popeye had belonged to someone once and his training and good nature were obvious. He had taken a tiny, mangy puppy into his care. The dogs had to spend a month at the vet, where they were a staff favorite because Peep would climb up on Popeye in the kennel they shared and curl up. There, we treated Peep's mange, Popeye's heartworms, and rid the dogs of countless other parasites, fleas and ticks. When he died 6 months later, he died with a recovered coat that had regained some luster, a full stomach, a warm bed, and knowing someone loved him. When Peep's fur grew back, we discovered he was a beautiful golden retriever/sheltie mix. He was a sweet, happy and optimistic companion for many years. We adopted his successor, Wallace, at the local humane shelter, and walks with Wallace make every day better for both of us.
142
My beloved sidekick of a corgi finally needed to go after 16 adventure-filled years in Nov of 2017. In May of last year, I was drawn by the photo of a cat on the local animal shelter website.
The Lion King was described as a "spirit cat" by the people at the shelter (in other words, don't expect much in the way of a companion as it may never come) and spent the first few days behind the washing machine.
Even today, nine months later, he's not much of a player and spends his days mostly on the bed or at a window, but the interactions he's comfortable with - jumping up on the work table when he decides it's time for a few treats, sitting on my keyboard when I'm trying to read or work, walking over for comfort when a noise happens that he's not sure about, or curling up next to me when I go to sleep at night - are a treasure.
Adopting an animal in need of a gentler life is surely well worth it.
114
@RKPT We, too, have a "spirit cat," and his presence fills the room. The sense of his comfort and contentment after being rescued as a frightened feral kitten trapped in a storm drain enriches our lives every day.
40
our two dogs are rescues, one was born in the shelter and the other one came from Alabama. we were baffled after rescuing our Alabama girl because she was so well behaved, such a kind, good dog, we could not understand why someone would give her up. in our minds we decided it must have been a housing situation. our other rescue was born in the shelter, one of eight pups born to a 30 pound terrified mix of some kind. we named her Bella and we nurtured her and her pups at the shelter until every one of them was adopted except the one that we reluctantly brought home on Christmas Day over two years ago. he has turned out to be a blessing to our family and he is one of the most loving, kind, happy dogs I have ever met, most of all our other dog, the female from Alabama has accepted him and enjoys his company. please always consider adopting a rescued dog before buying one, you may be surprised and rewarded to no end.
75
@Rosa When we adopted our terrier mix, Wallace,from the local humane association, he was the last puppy in his litter. Wallace has short fur and looked like a white version of The Tramp (from Lady and the Trump); some of the other puppies were fluffy and cuter. He has been my cheerful, good-natured, spirited, playful and fun daily companion for 5 years now. When he's gone, I'll adopt another rescue, probably an adult, since I'll be in my 70s.
36
@Katz :
fyi: some shelters have programs that allow older people to "foster" a pet or pets in their home, with the option of being returned and rehomed......the shelter pays for vet costs and food.
6
@RLiss Good thing, since rescuing a dog is impossible in my neighborhood unless you are an unemployed person in her 20's or 30's.
I love this story because it is such a great metaphor for where we are today. Some people think that “animal rights” activists are crazy. After all, they’re just animals.
But in today’s world of advanced science we know that those animals are sentient beings. They have a very full emotional life. They feel emotional pain just as we do. They bond, they lovingly care for their young and the suffer terribly from our indifference.
Animal rights is simply an awkward way of saying that we need to actually experience the interconnectedness of all life on this planet. One way of experiencing this simple but profound principle is by treating dogs and cats with compassion and love.
Then we need to look on our plates and ask ourselves would we kill our dog or cat and eat it, simply because it tastes good?
Most of us would be horrified at that prospect. But the cow, lamb and pig has the same nervous system and same emotional life as our favorite dog or cat.
I’m not an absolutists on this. Some people with serious conditions need the simple protein of animal flesh to survive. But most of us don’t. And I suspect that deep in human history their sacrifice for our well being lies the real meaning of the religious right of animal sacrifice.
They have indeed sacrificed for our human development. It’s now time to repay them so that our still developing human race can take its next step forward.
Compassion and love ultimately have no boundaries.
37
Wow! Your point is made so so well. Yes there is much truth in what you say about the amount of trauma that exists and the cause being a lack of kindness. Even if the kindness rules the day sometime, the healing could take many many years.
31
@JePense Speak to your neighbor, calmly. Mention you love dogs even if you don’t.
4
@JePense
Sounds like a conversation should ensue, rather than harboring resentment.
9
@ jepense, really, that’s what comes to mind when you read about this traumatized animal?
5
I took a dog off the streets of Moscow, Russia that was on the brink of death. A medium-sized terrier mix, he was so emaciated that I could lift him over my head with one arm. The first three days at the vets were touch and go as he couldn't walk. One vet thought he had distemper and should be put to sleep. On the fourth day he stood up and his second life began. He was such a wounded spirit that he looked like a tired old dog when he wasn't even a year old, but lots of vet care and food put the weight back on, and two months of TLC returned his spirit for good. He turned into a happy, feisty, playful terrier mix who became my rock for the next 14 years. He loved me more than anyone, and just as much as his thrice-daily walk. I could do no wrong in his eyes, which made me nervous. I could tell that I was the world to him, which made me try and do better. He was the perfect, ultimate companion in every way. He was the dog personification of joy. He always wanted my affection, and he was a good listener. We both "became" together. He died in my arms at the vet clinic just before his 15th birthday. He was a tremendous gift, and I was so lucky to have him.
402
@Teedee And he was equally lucky to have you!
38
Crying, because your pal just became a beacon of hope in my own time of trouble.
Lovely essay. Kindness heals us.
84
Lovely essay. I have worked with an animal rescue (no-kill) in the past, and it is amazing to see what basic kindness and routine can do for these bruised animals. Two of those animals came home with me. They became the most wonderful friends. Our present dog is a rescue, altho having spent only one night away from his former home. Was given up due to health concerns. Even he has had his issues. Now has us perfectly trained! Ms. Renkl -- you live so close to Old Friends Sr. Dog Sanctuary. Consider visiting and see the wonderful work they do in providing senior dogs with care. Thank you for your words, and pats to the very lucky Millie.
32
My rescue dog had similar issues. He did not want to go for walks, too terrified.
Today he LOVES his walks, he has a big smile on his face, and our walks are the best part of my day.
Please, folks, adopt at shelters.
94
About a year ago I rescued a terrified little dog that couldn’t go outside without shaking like a leaf. This past year has been a huge lesson in patience. You can’t force a scared dog to anything and expect it to go well. We had to let her get through things on her own terms with a whole lot of love and an alarming amount of treats. With the exception of busses (who isn’t afraid of a city bus?), my dog loves going for walks now! We can get through anything if we are patient, gentle, and kind to our dogs, to each either, and most importantly to ourselves.
57
"She is not yet the dog she is in the process of becoming."
"Maybe we’re all creatures in the process of becoming."
Years ago, when I was 55, I made myself a t-shirt with the phrase "Flawed and Improving" on the chest. Still applies and probably will for the foreseeable future.
52
As a volunteer at a high intake city shelter (Genesee County Animal Control in Flint, Michigan) thank you for this lovely essay, and thank you to everyone who adopts a dog or cat rather than shops, and especially those who adopt animals with challenges, who suffered neglect, abuse, trauma; the ones who've been returned to the shelter and need patience and love that will stick with them. These dogs don't need "rehabilitation." They need to recover.
81
@Trish Marie
Rosemary the calico came into my life through the shelter, my home being her third. She'd been returned twice. Growler who jumped on the couch two weeks in and nipped me.
One month in, after another incident, I grabbed her by the scruff and said, "Quit it. You're stuck here forever."
One year in, she was crawling BENEATH the bedcovers to snuggle up with me every night, purring.
Fourteen years later she died in my arms, after a lifetime of learning and teaching me, that in the presence of love we can all become real.
53
@HotGumption Thank you!--a home like yours is what we at the shelter hope for every dog and cat that comes through our doors, most especially for the traumatized and / or returned ones. Patience, love, commitment. They work miracles.
17
What a lovely story and I'm so thankful that you saved/healed this wee soul. Becoming? Yes. I agree that we are all a process in work, including our great country. I just pray that the meanness and cruelty so prevalent now will soon be gone. Blessed be.
51
Three years ago we adopted an 8-month old cat that had been brought up from Georgia and fostered in the Boston area for several months. He spent his first two weeks under a couch and was terrified of basically everything, including my husband. My friends thought he wasn't real as he never showed himself to company. Now he calmly observes guests from a nearby room, and sometimes saunters past friends he seems to recognize, and has even let a few choice friends pet him. It is a continued evolution, much to my surprise. He continues to make progress on a daily basis. I have to say, I have had many cats over the years, but he tries the hardest to communicate his needs to us and I believe he is exceptionally devoted to us.
43
Kota, the wonderful Great Pyrenees rescue dog in the picture here, now 13 years old and originally from Tennessee, still gets a 3 or 4 hour walk almost every day, but some days that isn’t
enough, so lately she has learned to open the gate latch all by herself and take off on independent strolls of the neighborhood.
I had a fence man out here yesterday to install a more secure latch and am waiting to see whether the next time she takes off it will be to visit her momma and poppa and brothers and sisters back in old Tennessee.
23
Thank you, Mrs. Renkl, for reminding us that the love of, and the love for a good dog translates to the empathy we feel for other creatures who suffer, including the two legged ones.
60
Thank you for the reminder that kindness and patience and acceptance of dogs (people?) as they come to you can heal. As a foster mother and dog rescuer, too, I know your truth, that the trauma lives there, no matter what. But I also know that gradual healing can manifest (not always) only with slow, kind, actions. Hurt children came and left less frightened. My current rescue didn't eat for 8 days upon arrival. Even though he is now fully part of things here, when visitors stay he stops eating and goes to a corner of safety. I'm content that it will always be thus. I have no idea of his history, but, like the children, I know that the kindness was deposited in the bank. Perhaps the interest will be realized down the road. Hope is my superpower.
35
@Mary Taylor that last sentence in your comment has moved me to tears & I'm still weeping; didn't realize how deeply I believe in hope for all of us, doing the daily work of small kindnesses to all creatures, knowing that we may not see the payoffs but sure in their eventual coming in the future.
10
Ms. Renkl, Thank you for all the love and patience that you have given Millie. You truly saved her in more ways than one. Almost all of my pets were rescues and every one of them made my life better every day, including the one sleeping next to me now.
57
@Olivia Agree-dogs make us more loving, more human. All our rescue dogs are and were special and beautiful friends.
18
Lovely piece. I have one from Rat Terrier Rescue. Challenging days in the beginning. Within the first 12 hour at home she took off after a runner, having slipped her leash, and put her less than one year old teeth into woman's leg. They were like pinpoint into her leg and the woman sensibly needed to see if I had shot records (yes, thankfully from shelter's vet) and went to doctor. Animal control showed up and told me I needed to keep her quarantined for several weeks in the house. I was ready to give up and say this is not for me, but the Animal Control officer, who was very nice to Twiggy, said give it some time. She was just anxious and probably trying to protect her new home. Five years later and no other incidents (thankfully, or a 2nd offense and I don't know what would have happened). She is a wonderful dog, who I get to walk with in mornings and afternoons. And as a rat terrier she has been keeping the rodents away from house. She is small enough that we refer to her as a "cat terrier" as she likes to be on laps.
24
Always nice to read these stories of love and compassion,They are truly needed after reading some of the other stories of man’s inhumanity to others that are a daily occurrence.we as humans can learn so much from dogs and their unconditional love.
42
Rescuing dogs from cruel conditions is great and I applaud those that can commit to this. Just a couple of pet peeves (no pun intended):
- I’ve known caring, loving families who would provide a great home to a dog that have been denied by adoption agencies because they couldn’t meet one of a hundred checkboxes. Case in point: One family was denied because they owned a dog that broke free and was hit by a car. C’mon! If you've owned a dog it has gotten away from you unexpectedly at one time or another. Sometimes I think it’s easier to adopt a child.
- I know I’m writing to a largely urban audience, but dogs are outside creatures. Some conditions which some consider cruel (e.g. tied up outside) are fine provided the dog has ample running space and access to food, water and shelter. I wish people would not confuse human comforts with humanity.
That said, I want to thank all that take the responsibility to adopt a rescue dog (or cat)!
17
@Dave tied up outside? All day...all night? That is abuse. Dogs are social and need contact. Whats the point of having a tied up dog. They are not outside “creatures. “. My dog is at the door to come inside and be with us after he does his business. We walk him and take him to dog park and then he wants to be inside with us. Sounds like you don't have a dog....lucky dogs.
14
@Dave: Not sure I agree here. We had a foster, a beautiful German/Australian shepherd mix. He was not openly aggressive, but he bit everyone he came into contact with, hard. I was bitten five times, my husband more times than he could count. We couldn't have guests over; we had to walk him at off hours so we wouldn't have chance encounters with anyone. We worked with the shelter, a trainer, and a behavioralist for seven months, hoping he would eventually stop biting, but even though the incidents dwindled, they never stopped. Worst of all, the biting was unpredictable. He would be sitting there, seemingly content, and then suddenly, wham, he would strike out. It took a while to find out about his previous life; they had to track down his records, because he'd been in the city pound prior to the no-kill shelter. In the end, we discovered that he'd spent the first two years of his life tied up to a post outdoors! He had had food, water, and a bit of shelter - all you claim a dog needs. But when he was with us, it was clear that he hated being outdoors. His behavior was evidence of what happens to a dog who spends his days tied up outside, with no human companionship, no socialization, no love. I am furious at whoever neglected him like that, and find it hard to forgive that kind of callousness. Human stupidity ruined a perfectly good dog. We had to put him down after nearly a year of trying to save him, and are still heartsore over that dog.
9
@Sharon :
He didn't say "tied up all day---all night"......before we got a back yard fence our dogs had to be tied out as well (for short times) as well as given long walks. No choice.
People are very judgmental.
Dear Margaret,
When I was a young mom, and network television was a thing, I looked forward to turning on Mr Rogers. Not for my kids...for me. His calming voice was an anchor in the midst of the whirlwind that is the parenting of young children. You have also been such a voice for me. And especially in these days of toxic and abusive masculinity screaming with such aggrieved abandon, your beautiful missives from a heart of compassion grounded in harmony within the natural world are a balm. Thank you.
240
@Carol Weiss Well said. Very tired of all the masculine negative energy in the news. I am surrounded by peaceful 4-leggeds!
14
Thank you for expressing so beautifully what I feel when I read Margaret Renkl’s columns.
6
Another great story. The author shows the kind of patience and loving stick to itness that getting a rescue dog often requires, but some of us are clearly tried by. I waited 4 years before getting another dog this summer. Turned out she wasn’t what they said she was and had been returned a couple of times already. Probably good I didn’t know. For the first two months I wasn’t sure either one of us was going to make it. She was a wild animal. She not only shredded shoes, gloves, cans, and clothes but sometimes while I was wearing them. I was knocked flat and drug thru streams on hikes. People gave us a wide berth on the trail as our stumbling rodeo went by. But at ~ 3 mos she decided that maybe I wasn’t taking her back and maybe this could work. Instead of watching the game last nite we xc skied in the dark. She hopped in the back of the truck- which previously had required the dog suitcase lift and we headed home, obviously a team. Probably no great metaphor for life, but being on a team always feels good.
111
@AL - thank you for having the patience that others did not. That dog will stick to you like glue. You’ll have loyalty that knows no bounds. You did a really good thing.
8
@AL My newly adopted one year old dog had been adopted and returned twice, and she was a lot like your dog. She hadn't been trained to do anything, and she did the type of damage to my belongings you'd think could only be accomplished by a being with fingers. For example, she shook and scratched my Bob Marley album out of it's cover and shattered it on the floor. And she was horrible on the leash. I was 22 years old, and I read every dog psychology book and training book I could because she was not going back to the shelter. I started training her and made sure the sessions were short and fun. I felt that I was in way over my head with her, but she loved to learn, and she started loving me. She became dependable in every situation. I had her for 17 years and I adored her. It's a hard storm to walk through, educating a nervous dog who has never been loved and doesn't know what's expected, but I am so glad I stuck with it because once she was no longer burdened by her past she became wonderful. I loved the part of your comment about realizing that you and your dog are now a team. Thank you for your comment. It made me think about my own dog, and it made me very happy that your dog was lucky enough to be adopted by you.
12
Love is the universal balm for our troubles, fears and scars. Animals respond just like humans when love is served up with no thought of reciprocity.
Wonderful essay. Now, I need to prepare breakfast for my dog and three cats-all rescued-and begin a day filled with promise.
62
I have had three rescue dogs--a springer spaniel, a portuguese water dog and now an Irish terrier. They have all returned our love in abundance. And they have all been so grateful!
41
Rescue dogs are so special!! To see them grow into a well adjusted companion is beautiful to see,and mine is spoiled as well!!
35
Our Pomchi is from Nashville Humane is a beauty, we got her when a few weeks old but they already neutered her telling us she is 6 months old.
Ever since then she is a bundle of joy now almost 15, still with thick silky coats but now struggling to survive.
This the hardest part for us, I don`t stay away more than two hours from home, and stopped travelling with no regrets.
We have an excellent Vet and a great groomer close from home.
Now it is touch and go, main concern for us is to continue having Her pain free and stay happy.
37
@B Sharp
The prime way to avoid pain in life is to avoid love... as you already know.
May this final leg of the journey be as blessed as possible for all of you.
6
Great job. We should all be so lucky.
2
I recommend Dr. Villalobos' quality-of-life scale referenced and discussed at https://vcahospitals.com/know-your-pet/quality-of-life-at-the-end-of-life-for-your-dog. The hardest gift we might ever give our animals is the final one - a cessation of additional suffering. Watching them move through Dr. Villalobos' scale can help to guide us when our love, bonds, and emotions demand just one more week, one more day, one more hour.
Thank you.
5
We adopted a dog directly from an owner who could no longer care for her. That we looked for a companion for Poochie, the sweetest dog in the world, was because I had ankle surgery, and could no longer play with him as I did; which unfortunately is still true today. We were presented with "sweet" Peaches, a two year old mostly Shi Tzu. She started out terrified of everyone, but finally warmed to the women in the house, but never to me. She would bark continually at anything and everything I did, for many months. When she finally stopped that, she would bark continuously at play time, ultimately ending play time permanently as Poochie was totally put off by it. Ultimately, she discovered that I actually understood some of her needs, and would come and purposely bark at me until I addressed them. That was the turning point. No, things did not get better: they got much worse. Having found she had some control over me, she tried to assert authority and take over the house. Although Poochie had been very patient with her constant aggressiveness towards him, he started to bark at her when she would get that pushy with us. She would just get in his face and bark back, essentially telling him to stay out of it. That was enough for my wife too: neither of us liked what Poochie was becoming. After 8 months we found a new home for her, with a single woman who wanted a Shi Tzu. Poochie came to us at 8 weeks old from Cockapoo trainer, and we trained each other. No rescues for us again.
5
@Steve Borsher, one advantage of adopting from a rescue group is getting a dog who has been assessed and screened. A responsible group would not have adopted out a dog fearful of men into a situation bound to fail.
19
The real question is why are their so many rescue animals to begin with? No one wants to address the fact that apparently it is too easy to get a pet and just as easy to get rid of it leading to overflowing and ever expanding shelters. Something has to be done as it is no different than the ever growing homeless.
I have not heard a single person in the last few years say they bought a dog from a breeder, which is good, but someone must be buying them in mass and loading up shelters with their discards.
The biggest problem I have with dogs and cats is with the owners who leave locked in a house (or worse in a cage) all day. If your lifestyle does not allow someone to be home with a pet then do not get one. It’s not fair to the animal.
41
@JimH —sadly, where I live I see far too many dogs that were breeder bought.
5
@JimH
Hi Jim: I have what most would consider too many cats. 5 inside in fact. When I am not home, they keep each other company. Cats are a bit easier that way than are dogs. Which is why I don't have a dog. When I retire and am home more, I will consider it.
People who are not home constantly shouldn't be discouraged from having pets.
The pet population problem is not just breeders, but people who allow their un-neutered pets (dogs and cats) to roam and breed randomly and prolifically. If people were not willing to offer these animals a home (even if it is imperfect) then they would end up by the 10's of thousands in trash cans, euthanized at the local shelters.
11
@JimH, Or do what my brother's family did years ago. Get two cats that are brothers when they are kittens. They kept each other company during the day.
10
Thank you for this. I am currently working on rescues 3&4. All of them have helped me become a better person. It is not easy sometimes as their trauma can really takes center stage. That is certainly the case now with #3 &4. But as I have learned to meet each one more or less where they are, things always get better. They, and we, are much more than our trauma. When I keep that in mind my relationships with dogs and people invariably improve. This I think is the biggest lesson for me.
22
Thank you for your parable.
We need to be reminded that bravery has to be regained again and again. But it’s not only the bravery of the dog but also the bravery of the rescuers who dare to help even at times when perhaps a majority says „you can‘t help them all!“ , when cynicism or fatalism prevails. In times of outrageous unaccountability it needs bravery to hope for the better.
Let’s dare to hope!
58
Our rescue beagle lost 32 pounds after coming to live with us. I still get a thrill of joy when she naughtily runs and launches her smelly dog self up, up, up onto our bed. Something she literally never could have dreamed doing of at 61 pounds!
We can't fathom why she was returned to the shelter twice, but we are glad she made her way to us. She's the ideal dog, and all it took was the love and discipline to not feed her everything she wanted, and do lots of walks. Transformation is a beautiful thing, for her, and for all of us.
47
The reasons so many of us who have rescued dogs for years go beyond being proud of how far our dogs have come. Because there is such a huge need we want to see more dogs adopted rather than being euthanized or languishing in no kill shelters. We want to echo how love can turn a dog who wouldn’t come inside despite a pouring rain into one who can’t wait to snuggle in bed. We want people who do adopt dogs with a troubled past not to give up after only a few weeks, as it can take a year or more to turn a dog who chews the woodwork out of anxiety to one who gives more love than he gets. And yes, we do want to share our love of our precious ones with everyone just as much as sharing pictures of the grandkids.
35
I moved to the South 10 years ago and got involved with the enormous rescue community helping an endless population of homeless dogs. It has literally been a life-changing experience. There is no therapy that helps you understand true compassion, patience and forgiveness like working with traumatized animals. And when they ultimately share your lap and coffee on a quiet morning there is no greater gift.
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Great story. I began to notice that my rescue dog seemed to find comfort in his observation of how I reacted to things that scared him. Eventually I learned not to reprimand him for what I thought was needless barking but comfort him instead. By the time he passed away at 14 I can't think of anything that scared him.
I think we humans share that same ability to observe other's reaction to fear and let it guide us in our own reaction. Too bad the Democrats haven't taken advantage of that. Trump rules by fear at every step and is rotting many people's ability to overcome it and lead more peaceful, productive lives.
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@Jack Hartman This was a happy article about rescued dogs. Why did you have to drag Trump into it? Please adopt another pet and get over Trump.
2
@Olivia: For many people, Trump not only smbolizes the hatred and fear that is dividing our country and robbing us of our ability to be kind to each other, but he is a major instigator of hatred, cruelty, and unkindness. A man who cannot respect or be kind to those weaker than he is, is not fit to lead this country. Our rescue dogs counteract that kind of hatred and remind us of the power of love and kindness, and make many of us long for leadership that does the same.
12
@Olivia
The resilience and love that dogs (cats, too) bring us is a wonderful thing. It will be a long time before we " get over" living under a human who has neither. The contrast is both stark and appropriate.
8
Oh the lessons we learn from your sweet Millie, and from all our rescue dogs. Thank you for sharing them, and her, with us.
Our sweet little Millie whom we adopted just a scant few months before you adopted your passed away at the end of last year, but there's not a day that goes by that she doesn't touch us deeply in our memory.
36
@P.Law
When my wife passed away, my long-time buddy Mojo spent months with his head on my lap. He is gone now, too, but he was the staunchest friend I ever had.
3
I succumbed to the impulse to save a dog. It has taken her a few years to become a "real" dog but here she is loving me and her sweet little life after enduring goodness knows what. Patience and tenderness mixed with disciplined routine were the keys. A special friend, now gone, urged me not to give up. I am grateful I did not because, like you, I have learned a lot about myself and other mammals.
52
This is the most beautiful thing I have read in a long, long time. Thank you so much for sharing Millie’s story. My Bullwinkle is a shy, introverted, sometimes terrified little guy who came to me three years ago from a shelter in CA. We continue to gently and lovingly guide each other through heartache and fear of what life may throw at us next. We are both learning to be brave. Who rescued who? Indeed.
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@Nan
You are having Rocky times with Bullwinkle, but it will be worth it. When we go through that time, we are improved by it too.
3
On that special morning when a Margaret Renkl column appears alongside a raft of others in the Times, it is without fail the first to be read. Reading about life’s lessons drawn from the topic at hand, painted In such clear, commanding and moving prose, is a wonderfully thought-provoking way to begin one’s day.
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@Dale Irwin
I do the same thing when her articles appear. For me, it’s like reaching for a bottle of nerve tonic. I was in great need after the thrashing our democracy took last week. I nearly wailed like poor little Milly.
97
This is a gem of an essay.
I can't wait to share it with my students, so many of whom have been deeply scarred by warring parents, neglect, or abandonment. Millie's story will resonate with them, and Margaret's insight will show them that all is not lost. They are lovable and worthy just as they are, despite their silent (and not so silent) screams for someone to understand and accept them.
135
A sharp gush of tears midway through this beautiful piece reinforced your point. My rescue dogs and I have always had a lot in common, but I don't think I saw it this way. Patience, and overwhelming amounts of compassion may get us all through this time in history, and hopefully make us less bratty and more beneficent.
39
Adopting a rescue dog is one of life's greatest emotional pleasures. I know. I'm 2.5 years into a beautiful relationship with the most loving creature in the world (that's my opinion!).
One adopts a best friend. One buys a possession.
It's far more rewarding to have a friend than another possession.
55
A lovely story. We have three dogs at the moment and have had several rescues in the past.
I was thrown however by the connection that was made to our troubles as a nation.
Until we can get past our own individual hubris, selfishness and ego, our healing as a human collective may take a long time indeed.
22
Whenever I meet someone and my instincts send off a small alarm, it's always for a good reason. And often times, one of those reasons is because the person hates (not fears) dogs. I have a difficult time being around someone who hates dogs because that says more about the person than any canine.
I used to think dogs and cats need love more than humans. But over the years, that's not true for we ALL need love. Dogs just have a better and more honest way of showing and giving their love.
And to my sweet, perfect chocolate lab, we love you and miss you every day. You are always in our hearts and thoughts. While you are playing, please remember to wait for us.
51
@Marge Keller - on the first date with my now husband, I watched him interact with someone’s dog we passed on the street. He was so sweet and gentle with that animal. I made note, believe me:-)
6
@Kathryn
Trust me - I believe you. The scenario you described may prove to be an effective litmus test for any relationship.
A lot of folks think or assume my husband is this tough "Harry Bosch" like of guy. Not really. Actually, not at all. I think when his insecurities surface, they take on an inaccurate impression.
What will bring my husband to his knees and cry like a baby in a New York minute is the sight of ANY animal that has been abused and/or neglected. He is at his most tender and vulnerable at those moments. That's one of many reasons why I love and adore him and think he is perfect. Anyone who feels and reacts like that has a heart and soul made of nothing but good and love.
6
@Marge Keller
A keeper.
4
Seeing a column of yours automatically lifts my spirit. This was no exception. We’ve had Siamese kittens for years from breeders. After the early death from a fatal disease from our last cat, we decided on a rescue cat. We came home with two little Siamese rescues deserted after one of our many hurricanes. They are the sweetest ,best cats we have ever had . They came from 2 different litters, but the same age. My husband told them in the long car ride home that they were ,”the luckiest cats in the world”. We live on a jungle like acre on a lake with a large screened porch. The boy , named Bamboo was in good shape from the beginning. He was brave and adventurous and immediately began exploring everything. The girl, named Cocoa was frightened and sick and hid . After lots of visits to a good vet , and much tender care and coaxing, they are masters of the porch, watching birds and squirrels and once a bobcat only a few feet away. She’s a big lump of love now and has trained my husband to give her 2 luxurious brushings every day. We want to feel this safe and relaxed after the election. And I’ll be knocking on doors for whoever the candidate is who opposes the current threat.
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@Marilyn Roofner
Years age, taking a walk in a snowstorm in the evening, I nearly stepped on two little black kittens flowing in the gutter. I put one in each coat pocket and took them home. Flotsam and Jetsam were with us for quite a while.
There's got to be a special place in Dante's hotel for people who just let animals die.
8
Here in Hove, I meet on the sidewalks so many dogs who have been rescued. Each has such character, and some are still nervous; others have become well adjusted to a good turn in their fortunes. Another splendid article here by a wonderful writer.
69
My adopted border collie just earned his first dog agility title a few weeks ago. I took 3 days for him to sneak eat. He spent most of his 1st 3 years in a backyard and while not extremely traumatized, he spent the first year with me under the bed. It took me a year of calming exercises to get the little fellow ready to learn, a year to transition from basic exercises, and a third year to teach him dog agility. His confidence level from when he arrived is remarkable. Patience, kindness, and of course a lot of yummy treats, worked wonders.
61
Thank you for your wonderful article. My wife and I have been adopting rescue border collies for the last 30 years. We have seen so many broken hearted and abused dogs come into our home. So much casual cruelty had been perpetrated against them. But over time, they inevitably blossom into happy optimists.
We learned to be patient in responding to their trauma, with the knowledge that they will heal in time.
We also believe that America will evolve back to sanity and stability over time. We are trying to be patient and not lose hope. But so much damage is being done in the meantime.
256
Halfway through your article I thought--I know a lot of people like your dog, Millie. All animals deserve kindness and tolerance. Thank you for reminding us.
36
Whenever I think times are bad, I remember that my parents lived through the Depression and World War II. It was worse then.
As for rescue dogs, we have adopted many over the years. They all adapted quickly. Except for our current Pyrenees; he’s terrified of everything because of his brutal past.
We’ve tried meds, food, toys, training. He wants to be happy, almost wagging his tail when we’re near him, but he can’t get past his fears.
He improves a tiny bit each day. Our other senior dog thinks he’s daft. Someday perhaps he’ll be the dog we hoped for.
41
@David G We had a cat like that for many years. She finally got to the point of letting us touch her head, and I could clip a mat or two off her fur while she slept, but she could never tolerate the gentlest petting.
She died last year, having spent her long post-shelter life hiding under beds, behind chair ruffles, and on top shelves I'd have thought impossible for her to scale.
I hate to imagine what her pre-shelter life was like, but I know her life with us was exactly the way she wanted it. And that helps.
70
May the universe reward both you and @David G for the contancy of your love for these anxious souls.
For cats, we have used Feliway diffusers with success, but any nearby air conditioning intake vents must be completely covered for them to be effective. We use Saran Wrap. And the area above the diffusers must be unobstructed. Regrettably, this information is not provided with the product, but the product can work if one considers the pheromone to be fragile. The liquid pheromone must also be replaced every 30 days without fail, but this the product literature does address. Rescue Remedy Pet in the drinking water can help if tolerated but only as an adjunct.
For dogs, calming pheromone diffusers are also available, but someone else would need to speak to their efficacy.
Thank you to all who work to ease the suffering of these vulnerable and profoundly hurt souls.
10
@David G Protocol for Relaxation. Worked wonders for my last 2 dogs.
Writing as one who lived for years homeless, in rescue missions, and mental hospitals, around lost and despairing human beings, I just loved this article.
But then, I understand the brutal truth that true mental illness is rare, that most dysfunctional behavior is learned from trauma, and without safety and companionship, trauma kills hearts and then lives.
Our culture is a jungle, for the poor and the powerless, a life and death struggle for both survival, and for a reason to get up in the morning, and it is getting worse, not better.
You won't see a Super Bowl commercial discussing that, you won't hear a champion of cutthroat capitalism brag about that, but it is the truth.
The Tigers really do come at night.
Hugh
466
@Hugh Massengill,
You are brave, indeed, and generous of spirit to be so vulnerable in sharing your experience and your wisdom.
Sadly so true that many of us are deeply affected by trauma we may not have been old enough to remember that shaped our hearts and minds.
113
@Still Lucid
Hi. Actually, sharing is healing, for we learn to survive by hiding our true selves from even ourselves, and standing and telling our truths hurts, but it does heal.
A good fourth grade teacher could probably come pretty close to predicting the course of the lives of their students, just by understanding how alive or broken the kids are.
Hugh
74
Your comment is so eloquently stated and true, the majority of people have no concept of the difficulty people with handicaps have in dealing with the mundane tasks of daily life, and often, even less sympathy or empathy.
How much more difficult must it be for our four legged friends with the language barrier separating us.
Our three rescue dogs are adjusting to a normal life with us with the exception of Minnie who still suffers terribly from her long ordeal of homelessness and persecution from various humans. We still after two years have to comfort and try to calm her whenever a storm or other weather related events occur which seem threatening to her. The most upsetting thing is the use of fireworks, she simply trembles and hides, we can only conjecture what she must have suffered at hands of someone.
We have a photo of Minnie taken when she was at the point of rescue; it is harrowing, almost hairless and feral, with a ferocious expression in her eyes.
Minnie has come a long way on the road to recovery but I don’t know if she will ever become the dog she could have been given the chance, we have hope and the opportunity to do our best to make that happen for her,bless our little quadrupedal friends.
54
I want to add my thanks for writing this. Very well timed.
I keep learning over and over again that when one is down about the world, open your eyes and help someone else.
Love your writing!
89
Ms Renkl, your columns always interest me, usually move me, and often fill me with hope, as this one does.
It is the power of an abused dog to recover, the power of people who care enough to bring that about, the power of a great writer to tell us about it.
As always, thank you.
61
Emily Dickinson wrote a poem about this; it's called "If I Can Stop One Heart From Breaking".
If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.
If your life needs an infusion of meaning, read and heed this.
401
@Ann O. Dyne. Thank you so much for sharing this. I have a feeling that I'm not the only one who teared up in response.
55
@CateS
I did too!
9
@Ann O. Dyne
Thank you.
3
Its hard to comprehend how another human being can be so cruel to animals that would so traumatize your dog but there it is. It makes it easier to understand how our country is in the mess that its in. Kudos to you for taking in a rescue animal and making her part of your family. The world needs a little more love.
123
@podunko Andy Rooney said "the average dog is better than the average person."
11
We are too soon old and too late smart.
We are all in the process of becoming.
We are all Millie.
249
Indeed, life for all of us is a process of becoming. Your story shows the true value that helping an animal who has had such a terrible time can, in reality, give both to the animal and to yourselves. I admire your willingness to take on such a troubled animal. It is no small thing to put in that kind of effort with her. Thank you.
52
Years ago I helped create a tiny, local rescue organization, working to reduce the number of stray and feral cats in our villages. I've moved to a new state now, but hundreds of animals later, my old friends are still doing the hard, rewarding work of showing compassion and fighting back against the cruelty of the world, one cat at a time. When so many of the world's troubles feel too big and intractable for one person to make a difference, rescue work can be a lifeline for both animals and people.
69
Thank you so much for sharing your lesson! I needed to read this now! We are all "becoming" including our tender world, this country in particular! If we anchor in kindness and respect we may make it! Blessings to you and yours, especially Millie!
34
Nothing says hope, trust and love like a rescue, regardless if that rescue is a dog or cat or some other creature that has been saved from an exisitence of fear, neglect, abuse, hunger or cruelty.
Thank you to everyone who has saved a creature. I love your generosity and kindness.
286
@Marge Keller
Thanks to you for your care of animals. I had a neighbor who, with his family, took in a number of animals in need. He would explain it by simply saying that he believed in second chances - that says it all.
Incidentally, one such creature he adopted was a three legged cat. That guy got around like no one’s business and was so sweet and trusting, he got into my lap the first time I met him, just walking by his yard!
I appreciate what you wrote. Be well.
25
@Marge Keller - it’s a cliche now but worth saying yet again. It’s hard to tell sometimes who rescues who!
6
@Kathryn
Funny, but I never saw that phrase as a cliche but rather the rhetorical question than continues to answer itself.
It's the perfect "every body wins" scenario.
8
I'm happy for Millie to find a lucky twist in her fortune thanks to your kindness.
I hate to point this out, and I'm sure people will say it's off the topic but it isn't: there are millions of creatures that endure brutality and fear, and I'm not talking about dogs and cats. You can't save everyone, but if you really want to cling to kindness, there's an easy way how stop participating in the brutality and fear imposed a cow or a pig or a chicken on an intensive farm. Just because it's behind the wall, it doesn't mean it's not happening. A cow can be turned into a wonderful bit of a brat, if given a chance. And I'm not a vegan.
187
@kornel
Thank you for this comment. We recognize the emotions of cats and dogs but throwaway that notion of compassion for pigs and chickens. They have personalities, they experience fear and pain. Factory farming is brutal and cruel. We have so far to go with respect to how we treat these creatures. Your comment gives me hope we may get there.
3
Having had my own share of trauma, adopting traumatized animals (and children) who have learned to trust and thrive, has helped heal me.
88
Thank your for sharing Millie's story. Years ago we adopted a stray cat who was very close to starvation but loving from day one. She settled in nicely but never, never did she allow the food bowl to become empty without protest even if she was not actually hungry. She just had to see that it was full.
110
@Logical The cat I have, Bibi, was adopted after I fostered her and her kittens from a hoarding situation. I was told she was the runt of the litter and was pushed away from the food by all the others. She would attack her food bowl and eat at speed here even when there was no competition.
Now she dines like an epicure. She takes only the juiciest pieces leaving the rest. The neighbour's cat takes the remainder. She does get me to refill, like your cat, before heading off to the garden, just to be sure it is it will be there when she returns.
11
It seems cruelty and pain always get the headlines, while kindness, civility, diplomacy, or wonder, rarely do. The bleeding leading headlines are rather what got us in this mess in the first place. Led by media moguls looking for the cheap fix, who opt for “reality” television “stars”, or the crashing pop of world wrestling federation sham fights, we end up with a loud wearisome phony leading the country into a ditch of his own unconstrained making.
Our little rescue dog was a runner and a biter, darting out the door at every opportunity, and snapping at anyone who tried to grab him. How we were able to turn him around still mystifies me a little. Firm, loving, consistent attention to his needs has made him the loyal trusting companion he has become.
If rescue is a metaphor, and kindness its core, I would add that consistent attention be the vehicle for making it happen. Democracy will not fix itself. This is the long game, commitment over the years, well past the 2020 election.
144
"She will always carry within her the life she endured before us. The brutality, the hunger, the fear — they will always be there, deep inside, just as they are for any other living thing who has suffered terribly. The body remembers pain. The brain holds on to trauma. But we also cling to kindness."
It's the kindness of others that offers the most hope.
Everyone of the abused, neglected and dumped cats that have come into our home and life made our life better, richer, more filled with love than we could have imagined.
But they too have those emotional scars and reminders on occasion - when a sudden noise happens or if I laugh too loud.
Neither my husband nor I can envision our life without our cats. And if another injured, scared and/or abused one showed up this morning, we would welcome him or her into our home and into our hearts.
Thank you for another beautiful and touching article Margaret.
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All of the dogs I've had over the last 30 years have been rescue dogs, including the two inert shapes in front of the Monitor soaking up the heat as I write this. A couple of them had been badly traumatized before I got them. Fortunately, pairing them with non-traumatized pups helped them overcome quickly and each became wonderful members of my family.
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Thank-you! I hope you, your family and Millie have a long and very happy life together.
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My family got all of our pets from the Humane Society. Mostly cats, wonderful cats, and later two dogs.
I always thought that it was we who were rescued. From loneliness, boredom, and lack of random love.
But I'd love to meet someday, somewhere, a person who happens to have acquired their pet this way who doesn't feel the need to advertise their virtue withing two minutes of meeting me. They really give vegans a run for their money!
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@Sera Aw com'on Sera. Sharing pet adoption stories can be like talking about the weather. Something safe and happy. Something people on the right, the left and the middle have in common. My neighborhood has people at opposite ends of the political spectrum and we mostly talk about our dogs and the weather. Sometimes these conversations lead to other, more important issues. And that sometimes leads to offers of help. So much better than not talking at all. Why not just share in the joy of having accomplished something worthwhile and positive with these people you meet?
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@Sera We adopted a rescue dog two months ago. She is frightened by other dogs (behind doors and fences, to say nothing of dogs on leashes). Her fright is exhibited by huge deep barks, lunging, jumping, and carrying on. We patiently drag her away from the bewildered toy poodle or whatever dog has stimulated this behavior, while attempting to keep our footing (she weighs 50 pounds) and calmly correcting and comforting her.
It is quite a circus, and a loud one.
We explain her rescue status so that people know we do not abuse her and are working with her and a trainer.
I will claim my sainthood now, but can't wait until she decides that she is safe with us.
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@Sera
Cut them some slack, they may be educating those who still don't know about the extent of animal cruelty.
Years ago, I had a lovey little puppy mill sheltie who survived 7 years living in a bank of outdoor cages. He had facial scars, broken teeth and a partly missing lip, likely from trying to chew his way out of the cage. He shook continually when it rained, violently when it thundered.
You bet i trumpeted his prior life to anyone who would listen so they would think twice about buying an animal without knowing its origin. I live in the state that was until recently known as the puppy mill capitol of the U.S.
Through the efforts of loudmouths like me, we were finally able to garner enough votes to legislate against the most egregious animal abuse in MO. Even then, the law was watered down by rural interests who run the state house.
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