A flicked cig
I don't dig.
Pick up your smoke,
You litterin' bloke!
38
The vignettes in this feature always, ALWAYS put me in a New York state of mind. Yo, NYTimes, never stop publishing this feature! With love from California, MG
50
Clearly, we're not in Kansas anymore.
(Exhale).
11
Here in NJ we are required to have 2 pieces of paper in our cars, at all times. One is the registration, the other is the proof of car insurance. Both of my cars have a special folder that includes a booklet about car maintenance, with a spot for these papers. They fit in the glove compartment, or more conveniently in the door next to driver's seat.
After moving the other driver's car in order to get my car parked further away from the fire hydrant, I would look for those documents that supply the name & address of the car owner. Then locate the person's apartment - it should be nearby the parked car - and deliver the found keys to the owner. If it's a building with a doorman, even better.
20
@LovesGermanShepherds, but then you’d have to cop to the fact you opened the car. That is something the driver would not necessarily know, if you just moved it a foot or two forward.
14
I lived and worked in NYC for most of my life-but now live in Florida.
Although, I love Florida, yet when I read the diary I feel this irresistible pull to come home. I visit often and when I do I feel like I never left.
22
I am sitting in an airport lounge in Seoul with everyone wearing face masks. Feeling depressed about where this pandemic is going, I open up the Metropolitan Diary and am transported. I never lived in the “City” but worked there in the 80s when it was a bit edgy. I too read all the comments and treasure the escape from a fraught reality. I think about my memories of the City with a good friend now departed. So impressed by the writers!
45
I love the responses to this column as much as I love the column itself.
54
@Pat
I do, too, Pat. The responses tell me that the people who write them are people I would like to know--smart, funny, friendly, and creative. I look forward to meeting them through this column, as I'm sure you do, also.
25
@WatchingListening - "people I would like to know--smart, funny, friendly, and creative. I look forward to meeting them through this column, as I'm sure you do, also."
Yet - People who feel fine snarking in the net can often turn out to be just lovely in person, and vice versa can be true, too, that people who can censor their baser nature in writing online (before they hit "send") might be less pleasant in real life once you know them.
Maybe that's abc clue to yet another possibility of what happened in the "Leaving" story? Could be one of those situations where you feel so in love while you're at work away from the person - then you face the reality of being with that same person every non-working hour, and it could be no one's fault! (But when it's no one's fault, doesn't the breaker-upper owe it to the other person to be kind about it, not harsh.)
5
@Pat Me too.
4
I just read EVERY comment, with immense enjoyment. Has there ever been a string with such bonhomie?
41
Being the hopeless, nah! hapless romantic that I am -- even at a superannuated 81 -- I was hoping that Miranda McCleod's elevator "Break Up" entry would have played out the way Bette Davis and Paul Henreid's two-cigarette scene did in "Now Voyager." What a missed opportunity.
21
@Jack oh, my....."Now, Voyager" is one of my favorite movies of all time.......
6
@Jack
O Jack, you ARE a true romantic. In this world of bitter accusations and strife, of relentless, marching viruses, and of tribal political anger, we do need more of Paul Henreid and Bette Davis "two-cigarette love scenes."
In fact, what we really need is Paul Henreid and Ingrid Bergman as the steely and resolute but kind white-suited Victor Laslow lights two cigarettes for himself and wife Ilse in their darkened Casablanca grotto hotel--he, off to a dangerous underground political meeting, knowing as soon as he leaves that she will be off to Rick her former lover to procure those necessary letters of transport....
Elissa
17
I moved from a small town in Texas to NYC after college graduation (1983). It was a foreign land—I felt so out of place,alone, and terrified most of the time (it was the early 80s in the city). Then I discovered this column and realized that I had more in common with this city than met the eye. Since then I’ve lived in another country, but it didn’t feel as foreign as NYC did at that time in my life. Love these stories.
29
I love reading these city stories, please keep them printing. In these stories: Well as for the found key fob of the parked car, I would have jumped in moved it and re-parked my car properly. I would then have made every effort to find and deliver the fob to the rightful owner. No harm no foul!
44
These wonderful vignettes of life in The City often evoke a deep emotional response from somewhere in my soul. Occasionally from a much deeper and sadder place. We are allowed a brief glimpse into the lives of people we will never meet, and we are blessed to know them, if only for an instant.
61
A long time ago, my husband grew up in Baltimore and I grew up in Washington, D.C.
In our 55 years of marriage, we have lived in big and mid-size cities and in rural university towns; in blue states, a swing state, and a red state.
Reading these Metropolitan Diary pieces is refreshing and a gentle joy--in the tradition of the everyday stories of human goodness and humor by O'Henry and William Saroyan (one of my father's favorites).
I would hope lots of people from rural areas and small towns read these columns, especially those who have a dread and distrust of big cities and believe that the people who live in them are cold, self-centered, and out of touch with humanity.
Sometimes I wonder if the human connection with strangers is more likely to occur in big cities than in small towns?
78
Just a sincere piece of “ beauty “ advice to all my younger sisters:
Stop coloring your Hair. I started getting gray in my Twenties, genetics on both sides. I spent twenty years and thousands of Dollars on dyeing, and 90 percent of that was Home Jobs. Now, I have gorgeous Silver Hair. Not a day goes by without compliments.
Best Wishes.
89
@Phyliss Dalmatian
Ditto for me.
17
@Phyliss Dalmatian Not all greys are created equal. I, too, am lucky to have brilliantly white-white hair and a young face, so I stopped dying years ago. Many, however, with mousy-brown or dishwater-blonde (terrible and judgy cliches) hair have the color just fade away, not appearing clearly white or salt-and-pepper or silver. I've learned not to suggest others do as I do. Their circumstances are different.
23
@tlwags : With respect, all your post shows is that beauty is what we decide it is.
My medium-brown hair -- mousy to some, but not to me, despite the dimming, with age, of my natural reddish highlights -- is a little too light to be a great backdrop for the silver threads that now intersperse it, but I love the silver and never considered covering it:
* I don't want to be exposed to even more chemicals;
* I don't want to expose others to even more chemicals (as the excess runs down the drain at the salon); and
* I have *earned* those threads, each and every one.
So I think my hair is beautiful -- and when we signal to others that we feel beautiful, that's what most perceive.
21
I love reading this column. I have so many of my own stories to share. I lived in NYC for nearly two decades and I miss it a lot.
I visit often and that will never change.
23
@Nycgal Grew up in Brooklyn and Staten Island, joined the navy in 1985, went all around the world, there's nothing like New York, it'll always be home..........
27
@Nycgal So share them! We look forward to reading them.
17
Yo Trump! That ain't presidential!
37
I found a jacket in a thrift store. It was made of the most beautiful fabric but the style was something out of the tv show “Dallas.” I stood, looking in the mirror. “What do you think?” I asked a woman about my age who was trying on a coat. “Dated,” she said. “How about if I take out the shoulder pads?” I asked. “It will never be right, even if you take it apart,” she stated emphatically. “Gosh, it’s such fabulous fabric. I was thinking I’d wear it to the High Holidays,” I said. She put her hand on her heart as she gasped. “Oh, NO! With everybody judging you?”
71
Dear Kathryn,
I like to hope that you got that jacket, wore it during the High Holidays, and loved how you looked in it and how it looked on you.
This year marks the 250th anniversary of the birth of Beethoven. I wonder if the woman you spoke with in that shop would dismiss his music as “dated?”
Stay well.
Allen
46
@Kathryn - thanks for memories of "Dallas." I'm recalling this parody in one of our school shows 40 years back, "we reversed the the letters of this ruthless show into the healthy and more wholesome SALLAD, and as we start, a group of wealthy Texans goes digging for oil - and vinegar."
(The classmate who wrote that is now teaching law at Yale!)
31
@Freddie - of COURSE he teaches law at Yale. He’s a smartie-pants. I’m sure his students adore him! Thanks for the giggle. Wish I’d seen that show. I’ll bet it was a hoot!
10
Writer's embellishment:
It turns out the key fob on the ground belonged to the man in the elevator observing the breaking up couple.
The man had just concluded a frantic search of his apartment for the car key but had come up empty and called triple A.
Triple A told him they were having a busy day and it would be hours before they arrived, so the man hailed a cab.
The cab took him to the ballpark where he works as a peanut vendor.
Meanwhile, the key fob finder took awhile to figure things out and by that time triple A had arrived. He showed them the key and the triple A driver moved the car, then left it under the mat and told his dispatcher to call the owner at his peanut vending job.
The break up couple decided to walk along the pier and talk things over.
She met the traveler waiting an extra day for his ship to unload. Turns out they knew each other through old friends.
They are now happily together and she works as a hair stylist specializing in women who want to keep their gray.
The breakup boyfriend works for triple A.
158
@Baba, Fabulous story. Thank you.
I think the individual who found the keys, (& didn’t have his own set for his own vehicle), took the keys & backed up that car closer to his own to make it appear as though he had just squeezed in. Or triggered alarm to attract attention. Either way, fun.
Any takers?
9
@Baba Yummy story, Baba Ganoush!
5
@Baba, can you change your story a little bit so that the key fob finder borrows a fancy valet cap and blazer “just in case” before moving the car?
10
I would have rolled the car forward a few feet. And with my luck, a Smart car would have pulled in between us before I could claim the extra space.
43
New Yorker's manners: directness with a considered approach.
32
I once stayed in an opera teacher's apartment in Manhattan.
I knew nothing about opera, but the experience of hearing those voices training in another room was memorable.
Only in New York. Or maybe Vienna.
38
@Baba On the street where my daughter lives in Berlin there is a voice coach for opera students. It is such a joy to walk past while hearing their voices drift down from the windows above!
16
@Baba : Or any city with a major music school. I live in one, on the East Coast, and had the pleasure of many such public moments and even more of the private moments, because one of my housemates -- earning his master's degree at the school -- practiced with his viola daily. Heaven.
10
This column is the highlight of my Mondays. Thanks for stories of the small moments where real life happens.
74
@Lauren Mine too!
19
I enjoy reading Metropolitan Diary. It makes me wish sometimes that I still lived in a real city.
44
@D.J. McConnell
Odds are, you will.
14
Re: "Reassurance" -
It was my hairdresser who, nearly 20 years ago, convinced me to stop dyeing my hair. I was gong very short, which would have necessitated more frequent touch-ups. She said, "Let it grow out and see what it looks like." I did, and it was glorious! I had no idea what was under that auburn dye. So I went gray and have never looked back.
82
@JoanP I am in the process of growing my hair out to gray. Will be another 6 months. Until then it looks very strange and no amount of comments about the stylishness of two-tone hair can convince me otherwise. Just have to grin and bear it.
25
@JoanP Someone I'm close to has, over the past few years, switched from dyeing to her natural grey (she is young for having grey hair). It looks great!
21
Carole - I went sparkly haired many years ago. When I decided to stop coloring, I cut my hair short and went in every 2-3 weeks to get it even trimmed more. I also bought some kind of spray that I would use for special evenings that kind of softened the hard edge and would just wash out. Hang in there. You will be so happy you did!
26
This is an odd request, and a tad off topic (although someone did mention Cheever), but can anyone here help me find a short story that I remember reading in The New Yorker Magazine, many years ago? It was Cheever-ish in feel. The story was the inner musings of a middle-aged or older man standing in front of his suburban house, contemplating the death of a grand, old tree that had succumbed to a beetle infestation. He recalls many things about his life, and I think a cocktail may be involved (clinking ice cubes, very Cheever). Ultimately, he collects some of the beetles and infects his neighbor’s tree. It was a perfectly crafted story. Does this spark a memory for any of you?
16
@Passion for Peaches
Cheever was the Chekhov of suburban angst. He published 121 stories in the New Yorker. Go to the magazine's website and search for them under his name, then read their titles. Click on the title of any story that seems likely to read the story. Persist and you'll find it.
19
@Passion for Peaches
"Emperor of the Air" by Ethan Canin.
18
@RMC : Brilliant. Thank you!
5
Dropping Anchor
Great book is Two Years Before The Mast. Young attorney left Boston in 1840 for two year sailing trip around Cape Horn to California. After two years also dropped anchor, outside Boston. Can’t imagine waiting another night after being away for two years.
15
Film treatment for “Leaving”:
Scene opens with Miranda in a small apartment bedroom. The door is closed, and she is grabbing items from drawers and the closet, cramming them into a wire rolling cart. Ana Nalik’s “Just Breathe” plays. Cut to montage of arguments — a man yelling at her, pointing a finger, accusing; she looking defeated, then defiant. Crying, anguish, thrown items. She finding proof of his infidelity. He grabbing her arm: a line crossed. Cut back to Miranda, gazing at the full cart. She surveys the room, pulls on her coat, squares her shoulders, rolls the cart out, looking straight ahead. Beneath the music we hear the man yelling, “Don’t you dare walk out!“, but she proceeds down the hall to the elevator, which arrives immediately (because movie). She boards, head held high. The man in the elevator looks startled. Miranda wheels around to see her ex looming. He blocks the door, yelling at her. Camera zooms in on his face, which diffuses into a blur.
Miranda and Elevator Man step onto the sidewalk. They both stop, facing the street. He peeks at her, shyly, takes out a pack of cigarettes and offers her one, then lights it. They smoke, wordlessly. The music soars. “Just Breathe.” Camera zooms out, and up. He flicks his cigarette into the gutter and walks off.
8
@Passion for Peaches - that's a twist with a stronger plot on one of Julia Roberts' first films as THE star, "Sleeping With the Enemy." (And the two cigarettes on another reading sounds very "Now Voyager.")
As to "He flicks his cigarette into the gutter and walks off" - she chose to use the riots "flicks his butt."
The stories feel different as more people comment. And then they look different once again when they're part of New York Today, and we get viewpoints of readers who hadn't read it on the weekend.
I sense a diabolical plot by the metro editors to keep us interested and happy, to get us coming back to the page several times during the week. :)
9
I had to smoke a cigarette after reading 'Leaving'.
24
What did he do with the keys after he moved the car?
20
@Zejee, I was wondering the same thing. You’d have to be cryptic if you left a note on the windshield. “I found your keys” wouldn’t do. Anyone who found the note could claim the car. How about , “I have something you need”?
17
Back when Yankee Stadium was affordable I used to delight in going to a game and calling out "Beeh heeh!" as the suds vendor passed by. My put-on New York accent never drew any reproof, and the beeh was always forthcoming!
23
@CKent - after a BIG snow many years ago, I was standing at a bus stop on the Upper West Side. It was quiet, as it is after it snows really hard in NYC. A fellow came along. He too stood waiting for the bus. We were there together in silence for awhile and then he said, “It’s a regulah wintah wondahland!” I agreed that it was.
27
Have others noticed that the Agnes Lee illustrations accompanying the Met Diary vignettes have become increasingly larger and with far greater use of black -- both thicker, heavier black outlines and very pronounced use of black filler -- over the past 5-6 weeks.
Perhaps this is a comment on or a reflection of the grim times we appear to be navigating through that have led Ms. Lee to set aside her more nuanced drawings. But perhaps she is merely experimenting and expanding her visual style. Either way, her drawings are wonderfully expressive.
I did find the first, Everything I Needed..., to show a remarkably determined (and angered) woman who must have finally had it with a dreadful relationship and a dreadful, unchanging partner. You can just see both her sadness and the steely determination to leave for good in the sad slope of her shoulders, the grim, resolute cast of her profile, her clenched right fist.
How sad I thought at first that everything she chose to take with her/salvage from that relationship could fit into that little shopping cart. Then, from Ms. Lee's illustration, I realized the lady had everything she needed. She set off on a new course with belief in herself and her dignity in tact.
I wish her happy landings and better relationships in future.
Elissa
46
@els - That could be it. But the suggestion that the guy was clueless before she left that she had even been thinking about ending the relationship and the great anger he had COULD also suggest something else - She may have found someone else and just wanted to go, as it seemed nearly 100% clear that she already had another place to go to.
6
@Freddie
Hmmm, Freddie. Well, of course we both are fabricating. Still, it is amazing how we envision entirely different scenarios.
First, I think it's reasonable to note that there are no children (perhaps old enough to be away at college) or pets involved, which is nice to know. From there, however, I suppose our viewpoints diverge.
First, I don't follow how you assume this rupture was planned on her part--she left while he was there and didn't avoid him and obviously rather abruptly with what appears to be only a small handbag, laptop, small backpack and the trench coat on her back. Who preplans an escape using a broken-down shopping cart rather than a rolling piece of luggage??
This feels more like a spur-of-the-moment act to me. Maybe she came home to confront him because the day's mail brought a notice of a (forged) $75K withdrawal from her 401K that he needed to cover his gambling debts (again). Maybe he had resisted her desire to have children for years, and she just found out that his girlfriend on the side (a former good friend of hers) was expecting twins in 3 months. Maybe he raided their joint account designated for a home down payment and treated himself to a reconditioned Maserati...
Maybe he made a habit of emotionally abusing and embarrassing her with public tirades very like this one in the elevator.
Whatever her reason, this lady was fed up, realized she deserved to be treated better, and decided to get out while she still could.
Elissa
27
@els, I suspect that the illustrations are bolder now because so many people have been posting here, every week, about how wonderful they are. So the artist has been allotted more space. And that is a good thing.
39
Hi Benecia,
Small world indeed. I never heard of the place, but I visited a few months ago when my retired sister moved there with her husband. Lovely town!
7
My location speaks for itself!
4
Of course he moved the car. The universe was not just calling out, it was yelling.
As I remember from 40 years of growing up and living in NYC, one risked not only a ticket for parking too close to a hydrant, one could have the car actually towed on top of the ticket.
So. . . Move the car, look in the glove box for the registration which would include a name and address, return the fob.
As for telling the owner the car was moved. . . nah.
119
@Len I agree. Although in my imagination, he didn't start the car. He just put it in neutral, made sure the hand brake was off, stood by the the open door and rolled it forward four feet.
35
@Humanist
Ha! I admit I like your version better. . .
10
@Humanist
Safer to start the car, and have it under his control...esp. brakes!
5
Does the NYT have any idea how many individual readers this feature attracts? And where we all live?
I am amazed and delighted by the range of hometowns and the thoughts of my fellow readers. I have a feeling that we would all get along.
103
Benecia...OOPs..no spellcheck on this one!
2
@Caroline Benicia! California's capitol for a hot second. Everyone I've known who lived there pronounced it "Be-NISH-a."
8
@Caroline : You are very much right. We would certainly get going harmoniously. I simply love Motherlode and Metropolitan Diary. Unfortunately Motherlode is no longer there. I am missing it badly. I have very fond memories associated with it and even developed a kind of friendship with some wonderful fellow commentators. I am missing them and don’t find commenting here. I don’t know what they are doing now. May God keep them healthy.
19
Of course he moved the car. He’s a New Yorker!
68
@Ron I born in brooklyn 1962 move the car , double park it , leave key in , and take spot.... life is cruel !
4
@Ron I born in brooklyn 1962 move the car , double park it , leave key in , and take spot.... life is cruel !
Although I have never lived in the city, I absolutely love visiting there. I look forward to this column every week-thank you!
39
1. If I get a ticket for parking too close to a hydrant, then I would've gotten it even if I didn't find the key. So not using the key doesn't put me in a worse situation.
2. When I first picked up the key, I didn't know it was for the car in front of mine so my intention was purely to do a good deed. So,
2a. I won't want to sully the good karma I'm earning by using the key for my own benefit, and
2b. I feel iffy about getting into someone else's car without permission, let alone driving it.
26
I'm thinking he moved it, but did not want to admit to it just in case. If it was only a foot or two, the car owner would be none the wiser unless, a la Seinfeld, an odor was left behind (unpleasant or not).
13
When I asked my late mother why she continued dying her hair well behind they years when it was believable, she said her natural color was not an “interesting” gray. She kept up the coloring until she died, at almost 90.
Some of us do it not to “look beautiful,” but to feel a little bit more like our young selves. Our true selves. Not that old lady we keep seeing in the mirror. (I don’t know who that old girl is, but she follows me everywhere.)
148
Dear Passion for Peaches,
I think I know who that old gal who keeps following you around and standing behind you when you look in the mirror is. She’s the girlfriend of the geezer who keeps standing behind me when I look in the mirror saying “hey, you’re too old to still be singing along to Ricky Nelson’s “Waitin’ in School” and Dion’s “Runaround Sue.” Like fun I am! This “Poor Little Fool” is still “A Teenager in Love.”
Have fun Passion for Peaches; stay among the very young at heart.
Allen
30
@Passion for Peaches
Just an FYI note, folks: It's "dyeing" your hair when you're talking about changing its color. I don't color my hair (no need), but if I did, I wouldn't want it to die.
17
@CKent, I admit that I depend on spellcheck far too much these days. As do we all. But I assure you my hair is dying along with the rest of me. It has morphed into some sort of sea moss. You should see it when it’s foggy out, or when I’ve been caught in the rain. I scare the horses.
55
Dear Rebecca,
I’ve read your Diary entry several times about the conversation you had with a fellow passenger on the train who sought reassurance about how she would look if she simply stopped dying her hair.
Did she ever smile at you, I wonder, either with her eyes or with her mouth? Did she seem to believe your affirmation that she would look beautiful with gray hair after you told her twice that she would?
I like to hope that, whatever decision she made, she is with people who love her and see her beauty, the beauty of the human being whose hair color—either chestnut brown or gray—matters not one whit in their eyes.
Thank you for a most interesting story Rebecca and stay well.
Allen
68
Re: the Hydrant Hassle - he moved the other guy’s car, then moved his car a comfy distance from the hydrant, then left a note on the other guy’s windshield with the necessary info. His wife likely debated all the “what-ifs” he had been “caught” moving the car - i.e., the owner returned just then, accused him of trying to steal the car, flagged down/called a cop, and our Hydrant Hero ends up in a holding pen. Being a paranoid always-hurrying New Yorker, I would_not_have_picked-up_the_keys in the first place! No good deed goes unpunished!
Re: the woman on the long, lonesome gray way: I have silver hair that people always compliment. I would have absolutely urged her to go gray. Maybe would have given her my hairdresser’s #.
Re: the Breakup Breakaway: if a guy tried to hold an elevator open on me while I was trying really hard to get away from him, I would have dialed the police. Been there, done that.
19
Benjamin Marcus and his wife would not be arguing months later had he not moved the car. The alternatives, either that he keeps telling her he **wishes**he moved the car, or that she keeps telling him that he was a sucker for not moving it, both seem unlikely; and, frankly, would there not be something much more worth bickering about in any relationship?
13
@SRW - regarding "would there not be something much more worth bickering about in any relationship?"
If you get any bickering energy out of the way only with something NOT really worth bickering about, it's much easier to say "Let's put this aside and enjoy our dinner" and then somehow you end up not coming back to it, at least that night, and not going to bed mad. This article from the "Well" section back in 2012 explained there's science to it.
https://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/01/30/really-the-claim-never-go-to-bed-angry/
"THE BOTTOM LINE Going to sleep upset or disturbed preserves the emotion, research suggests."
7
@Freddie, thank you for your comment and the interesting reference! Also, I realized after posting that my characterization, "bickering," did an injustice to the writer's term, " debate," which is so much richer in potential.
4
Any woman is better off without a guy selfish enough to hold the elevator door — arguing with her — “for a really long time,” while another elevator passenger cooled his heels. That’s controlling behavior. A red flag for something worse.
The kindness and companionable smoker flicking his cigarette butt kind of ruined the mood of the story for me. But I’m one of the people who picks up cigarette butts on the beach. Californian to the core. Cigarette flickers are reviled here.
As for the “would you or would’t you” car question, I think I would have moved the vehicle. I would have been nervous about the owner maybe showing up and thinking I was stealing the car, though. So maybe a friend or spouse acting as lookout would have been called for. You’d have had plausible deniability if there had been a confrontation, because you were holding the keys to the vehicle behind the other driver’s car.
I’m curious whether it was the writer or the other driver who parked almost touching the other car’s bumper. That is very rude behavior. Moving the car is better than key scratching it. If the key dropper is the one who parked practically on your bumper, he or she would have no leg to stand on, where questions of propriety are concerned.
The Gray Lady story is sweet, and relatable. I dye my grays.
11
I’m reading this while sitting on my bag on the platform at Rockaway Blvd, waiting for the A train to JFK, once again leaving this wonderful contradiction of a city. But for the first time I’ll be returning to the U.K. changed, no longer an EU citizen, due to small minds and closed hearts.
I’m always a little melancholic when departing here, and I can’t pretend the political situation has nothing to do with it (also the two Negronis from Fanelli’s), but does anyone else feel an unusually strong current of romance running through this week’s Diary?
Goodbye, New York.
Keep an open heart.
126
@Andy
I suppose you will read this in Scotland in the morning. Hope the sun is out.
It is easy to picture you sitting atop your bag, waiting on the platform at Rockaway Blvd., quietly consumed by gusty emotions.
I’ve found myself carefully studying airport lounge carpets, taking deep breaths, while exalted notions overtake me.
Is there something about being in transit that leaves us a bit vulnerable?
As I see it, there is a theme that dominates week after week when it comes to the stories Metropolitan Diarists want to tell. So many are about the kindness of strangers.
I share your glumness over state of politics in both the U.K. and U.S., but won’t go on about it. You had turned to the best feature of the paper for Sunday morning reading on the platform.
If you haven’t already read it, you might look up Roger Cohen’s latest Times column. It’s about Brexit and was published Saturday in the print edition. You will find a kindred spirit.
Good luck.
59
Miranda: a mini John Cheever masterpiece.
minimalist yet deeply moving. well done.
18
@Frank, not Cheever. He isn’t emotional enough for the story. I see it as more of a “girl finds her mojo” indie film. I have been trying to post my film version here, but the system keeps refusing to accept it. The mod bot hates me.
5
I don’t know where my comment has disappeared. As such I am writing again.
Relationship breaking up is very tough to handle. Only time will heal the affected persons. It’s too awkward for a third person to be sandwiched between sparring couple that too in a lift. It’s nice of the gentleman to look the other way as if he hasn’t heard the argument. This is what briefly mentioned in the story “ Leaving “. It’s very nice of the gentleman to offer a cigarette to Miranda McLeod to cool her nerves and having not tried to talk to her. It speaks volumes about the gentleman concerned. I feel this story is this week diary’s highlight.
Benjamin Marcus must have handed over the fob and car to the owner. I feel he didn’t move the other car by using found keys since he might have considered it as some kind of offence even though he might end up paying penalty. As such it might have resulted in endless arguments with his wife as mentioned in the story “ Near a Hydrant “.
I hope the co passenger followed the advice of Rebecca Kalin not to dye the grey hair as mentioned in the story “ Reassurance “. Applying certain chemicals on face and hair will harm the skin badly. It’s always better to keep safe distance from chemicals to the extent possible so that we can be healthy.
“ Dropping Anchor “ story has reminded me only one thing i.e It’s too near yet too far. This sort of a situation happened to me a number of times whenever the train in which I travelled stopped near a signal.
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Sivaram: please don’t worry. Your lovely comments have landed and we New Yorkers are enjoying reading them. We hope you will come visit NYC soon.
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@Checker : Thank you very much. So kind of you. Hope to visit New York some day.
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@Sivaram Pochiraju I have been to Hyderabad several times, and it is a lovely city. I remember the Tank Bund, not sure I'm spelling it right. It's sort of a lake, with a statue that has a funny story behind it. I believe the statue was lost for a time, due to its weight? But now the statue can be seen. Also a museum, Salar Jung that holds the treasures of the last prime minister to the Nizam of Hyderabad.
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Dear Benjamin Marcus,
O.K., I’ll bite.
Here’s what you did: You made use of the car key and fob to move the car in front of yours a few feet forward, and then you moved your own car up so that it was away from the hydrant. You left a note in the car with your contact information so that the owner could get in touch with you. And then you made sure that the car was locked.
You had thought about locking the key and fob in the car, along with an explanatory note, but you decided against it for two reasons: (1) If the owner did not have another key, she or he would not be able to open the car door; and (2) if that car was like my Toyota, it could not be locked because it detected the key and fob inside.
You and your wife are still debating this issue months later because she believes that you should not have moved the other car. She thinks that you should have left a note on the windshield.
And there you have my two cents.
Dean
Feb. 2, 2020
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@Dean I also wondered what happed. The possibilities are endless. I like that the writer left the ending open to interpretation. Here’s what I imagined.
Scenario #1: I wonder what would have happened if while moving his car he hit the other car leaving a dent, thus having to leave a note which read, “Hey there, luckily I found your keys! But, unfortunately I also dented your car. Did I mention I found your keys?”
Scenario #2: As he’s moving the other person’s car, the owner, having realized the keys were missing and wondered if they were left in the car or dropped nearby on the curb or sidewalk, comes running down the sidewalk towards her/his car. Upon seeing a stranger behind the wheel fears it is being stolen. As there is a police officer nearby, the Good Samaritan is arrested for attempted car theft. Not so happy, this one.
Scenario 3: Same as scenario #3, but instead of calling over a police officer, engages with the driver who explained that he had found her keys and was just moving the cars so they would each have more space to get out. They struck up a conversation. Met for coffee, starting dating, eventually got married. And they still debate the endless possibilities of what might have happed, but are happy and content that things worked out exactly as they have.
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@Dean
Ha Ha Your third choice had us in stitches.
Whole tv sitcom episodes could be devoted to it. Imagine an episode of the Odd Couple with Oscar/Jack Klugman annoyed and moving that car up so he could fit into a parking space and Felix/Tony Randall NEVER letting him forget it, constantly badgering and criticizing him throughout the episode, which, of course would involve an arrest of the pair by an irate car owner who would of course turn out to be the new boyfriend of Gloria, the ex-wife Felix was trying so hard to win back...
Or, as a major episode in a full-length movie, I see Walter Matthau and Elaine May in A New Leaf carelessly bashing the stranger's car as he moved it to make more room for his absurd sports car that was prone to "carbon on the valves" (and leaving no note). She will badger him constantly into eternity for this, and it will be his punishment for marrying her under false pretenses just for her money...
Elissa
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@Gare59 Scenario #4: He pulled the other car into the street, then moved his car forward into that spot, then put the other car behind his, so if anyone was going to get a ticket, it would be the other guy. A complex maneuver, and could probably only be done in the dead of night, but a scenario nonetheless.
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"Yo peanuts"? Glad to see that. I have been afraid that "yo" was dropped from our vocabulary here in NY. I use it, but don't hear it too often.
I have been told that it originated in the military, or prison yards. But if that were so, it would be utilized in all fifty states, which does not seem to be the case. So it must be both colloquial and parochial to New York. "Hey yo, New York Times! Glad to see it here."
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@Billy from Brooklyn "Yo" is alive and well in Philadelphia also, though slowly losing out to gentrification.
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@Billy from Brooklyn
I've heard construction workers everywhere use "Yo!" to attract attention for the purpose of warning the others that something was about to be tossed or dropped, or to ask that some tool or other be passed to the "Yo!" shouter. It's useful and fun to say, especially when pretending to imitate Sylvester Stallone's "Rocky."
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@Billy from Brooklyn, I’ve heard it at many different sporting events, circus, etc. It’s reserved for special situations & occasions. Good fun & effective.
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It’s very tough to have break up in a relationship. It becomes extremely awkward for the third person if he or she were to overhear the heated exchanges between estranged couple. The same is explained briefly in the story “ Leaving “. It’s so nice of that gentleman to look the other way when such an exchange took place in a lift and then offer a cigarette later. He simply kept quiet without uttering a single word. It speaks volumes about that person. I am not sure how I would have handled such a situation. I can say only one thing. He has done it outstandingly and so did the writer Miranda McLead.
This story indeed is the highlight of this week’s diary.
I feel Benjamin Marcus must have handed over the fob and car keys to the owner. HoweverI feel he didn’t use the car keys to move the other car because of which he might be having endless discussions / arguments with his wife. He has done nicely by keeping the suspense in the story “ Near a Hydrant “.
I hope co passenger of Rebecca Kalin listened to her advice of not dying her hair as mentioned in the story “ Reassurance “.
Many women think that applying make - up on face and or to dye hair will make them look better. What is of utmost importance is to avoid harmful chemicals to the extent possible so that one can be free from skin diseases and remain healthy. Ageing is natural. We must graciously accept it irrespective of gender.
“ Dropping Anchor “ story reminds me only one thing. You are very near yet too far.
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First time reading this column. I'll be back.
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@Mel Yes you will.
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I envy you Mel. You can go back and read hundreds (dare I say thousands?) of Metropolitan Diary entries for the first time! (Including a few of my submissions). When you run out of digitized entries, you can go to the library and look through microfilm of Monday newspapers in the Metro section. Bliss!
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@Mel Yes, you will! I first found out about this section a few weeks ago and then spent an embarrassingly long time reading through the archives. Now it's something I look forward to every week!
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Regarding “I’m terribly sorry,” he said, “but it’s too expensive to have our cargo offloaded on a Sunday, so we’re going to remain anchored here in the bay till tomorrow morning.”
A very wise Pennsylvania lawyer told me this about disappointment and conflict: "It's always about money. Even when it's not about money, it's about money."
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@Freddie oh no sometimes it really isn't about money, although much too often, it is. So much better when it's about love, or feelings. Like how you remember your grandmother preparing a special breakfast for you, when your parents were away & thus a stay with grandma was necessary. Or when your dearest proposed marriage.
Memories can be so much better than money.
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My high school Italian teacher, Mr. Barsuglia, was from Italy. As we were practicing our dialogues, he would improve our pronunciation and intonation, etc. In a dialogue about a restaurant experience, we learned the phrase: "Cameriere! Il conto per favore!" which means "Waiter! the bill, please!" In the classroom, we were speaking quietly and tentatively. Mr. Barsuglia told us that we had to yell, so that the waiter would hear us. The waiter was not going to come over to our table with the bill automatically. So, each of us had to yell in the classroom, PROJECTING OUR VOICES, "Cameriere! Il conto, per favore!" I haven't travelled to Italy yet to try it out.
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To my dear former student:
I am gratified that you remembered my lesson so well. But did you forget that other lesson I taught you?
“Questa è la sezione dei commenti”
(This is the comment section!) If you want to submit your story to Metropolitan Diary, you must email it to “[email protected]”.
Con affeto,
Mr. Barsuglia
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@Checker Just when I thought I could not love this column and the comments any more...there's this!
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@Checker and Lynn -
Regarding "If you want to submit your story to Metropolitan Diary"
But he didn't want to submit your story to Metropolitan Diary, he wanted to submit it to the Comment section, and he did that. The moderators then decided to include the story in the comment section. It's a different threshold: for the actual newspaper and getting an Agnes Lee drawing et al (whoever Al is), they choose 5 out of a gajillion entries which then become part of the actual newspaper as well as online. For the comments, there can be close to 200 in a week, and I don't even know if Agnes Lee reads the comments.
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All lovely, engaging stories today. Thank you, Metro Diary authors, for sharing your vignettes.
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I would have looked in the glove compartment for any clue as to the car owner's i.d.
And since already in the car, I'd move it forward.
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Sometimes the best expression of empathy is just being silently present. What a great guy that man was! Thanks for sharing this story.
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@Hortencia :
Your observation could equally apply to several of this week's stories, and that's a beautiful thing!
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Loved the break-up story. Great empathy, well told.
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It felt like the diary writer precipitated the break-up and the boyfriend was surprised by her leaving and didn't want that to happen. Am I reading this wrong?
Or maybe: She says it was "our building" - that they both lived there and presumably had a life together with responsibilities to each other even if not married. She must have had a place to go, and had thought this through for a while. Was she leaving him with financial responsibilities. in addition to his life being suddenly upended?
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I remember attending the Ice Capades at MSG at the age of 13 with my whole family. My mother asked me to get the attention of an ice cream vendor. I stood up and screamed “ Yo, ice cream”. She was mortified. She didn’t realize that all those nights in the blue seats at Ranger games with my father had taught me the proper MSG etiquette.
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I’m not so much interested in whether or not Mr. Marcus moved the car, would rather know if and how the fob and key were returned to the rightful owner.
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@Native Houstonian I think he didn't, and I think he was wrong.
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@Native Houstonian I think he did move it. He earned the right, and it saved him from a possible $125 ticket or something. Then he left a note under the wiper.
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I love Metropolitan Diary, please when did it first appear...I am 85 and I seem to remember it since I was a teenager.
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