How to Be a Kinder Traveler

I hear this so many times, that people in the countries we visit will be “so grateful” if we attempt to use their language. I have traveled in Europe many times over the last 30 years or so, and I can get by pretty well in both German and French and will use them till my knowledge runs out and then switch to English. I’ve found that most service employees can switch effortlessly among these languages and none of them have ever evinced any reaction to my speaking their language. They’re not “grateful”, they don’t care, they’re just doing their jobs.

I always try to learn hello & thank you in the foreign country I go too. It's opened a lot of doors that the attempt is made. I always try to smile a lot. I never disparage the country I am in. If asked, I always say I am a guest in their country & guests should not offer their opinion as it would be disrespectful not living there & understanding the situation. Try to blend in & not wear inappropriate clothes. I never wear clothes that have logos on it that show I'm an American. Most countries don't wear shorts unless at a beach so that's what I do. Find out what's appropriate clothing & customs in the country before you go there. Talk to locals & engage in them. Recently we were on a local train in Portugal & sat down next to locals. We asked them about the town we were going to & they provided lots of great local information we would not have gotten elsewhere. When going through immigration I always ask the agent how they are doing & state I am so glad I am coming to their country & have been looking forward to coming. It opens a lot of doors.

Be kind, be courteous, and support local shops near your vacation rental or hotel. My wife and I have stayed in the same Kyoto neighborhood for years on end every fall. I look forward to shopping at the local green grocer who always carries my favorite persimmon variety. He appreciates our loyalty and I appreciate his produce and friendship. I look forward to seeing him every year.

These suggestions work for all areas of life. Last year my husband was in the hospital; one of the hospital housekeeping employees was especially warm and upbeat as a crowded elevator made its way down 8 floors to the coffee shop. When I stepped off I realized how much he’d brightened a difficult day for me and probably many others. I wrote a note to the hospital Human Resources about him. I later learned it had been read at his staff meeting and shared with the pastor of his church. We all need these actions and it only takes a minute.

Absolutely try to use the language, even if you feel self-conscious or worry about mistakes. After doing an internship, I traveled south to Patagonia. Our driver to the camp didn't speak English, but I had spent the last 4 months learning Chilean Spanish. I smiled and asked "Cómo Estai?" His face lit up like a Christmas tree. For 2 hours, I heard about his childhood, his family, how much he loved the land, and he even stopped to show me some wild flamingos. Using the local language can really make someone's day.

As some wise person stated "a random act of kindness goes a long way" Common courtesies should be extended to everyone - airline staff, fellow travelers etc. A smile goes along way. Works at home too! "Be kind, for everyone else is fighting a battle" - Plato

After a visit in Chicago with a friend, I actually wrote a note to the CTA ( Chicago Transit Authority) and to an Illinois State Government location to praise the courtesy of three employees who had been lovely. Those are the sorts of jobs where the employees never hear ANYTHING good. Having spent many years in a civil service position where one is frequently a target for vituperation, I held on to the occasional thanks, and how one man wrote a long letter explaining how much help I had been. The Golden Rule always applies.

Especially if I’m traveling solo I want to be on good terms, and a first name basis, with the concierge and the housekeeping staff on the floor of the hotel where I’m staying. You never know when you need another bottle of water for the day’s adventure. If I’m staying somewhere long term, even for a week, my attitude is that it’s a privilege to be a guest in another country, and that if I expect everything to be just like it is at home, I should have stayed at home! A smile and an open mind are essential!

I AM your grandmother at the next table! Yes, travel often is uncomfortable and stressful. I find I just have to adjust my attitude beforehand: I summon the part of me that remembers every single trip is an adventure - whether for business or pleasure - and everyone I meet adds to the fabric of my life. It's all about connections (thank E.M. Forster for reminding us); eye contact and a smile go a long way. I flew home on Christmas Eve day last month, with some trepidation, but sharing the holiday spirit with strangers turned out to be the perfect way to celebrate.

I frequently travel on business, and while these suggestions are very nice, it is usually a significant challenge to just get through the trip with some level of comfort and limited stress. This means conducting all necessary work and then finding some time to relax at the hotel, have a nice dinner, workout when time allows, and get a decent nights sleep. The latter is often the most difficult due to noisy neighbors. So with all that, it is unrealistic to add a list of 4-6 things to remember to make hotel/transportation/restaurant and other workers happy. Let me say that I am generally very polite and kind to people, but business travel is not easy and it is especially difficult when you're away from family and the comforts of home.

The fact that adults need to be reminded of this basic tenet of life is sad beyond belief. When my wife and I go out to eat, wherever it is, after the server greets us and asks how we are, we always ask how they are. I can't tell you how many times they seem surprised that we've asked, and they usually say "Thanks for asking." And trust me, I'm not the world's greatest person, but for goodness sake, it's easy enough to be nice to people.

When I travel, I try to learn at least a few basic words of the local language. They are always appreciated, even when imperfectly spoken, and even though the response may come back in perfect English (how do they know?), it comes with a smile. With Google Translate, it's easy to pick it up. The effort can sometimes start a warm conversation. And yes, some of my fellow Americans can be so loud, even in places where most people would find it fairly obvious that loudness isn't appropriate, that I sometimes want to say "we're not all like that".

My tip: Be FLEXIBLE. Channel your inner bliss, even when you might be tempted to get peeved, and even when it might mean a change in your itinerary. This attitude adjustment has worked wonders for me when traveling (though I admit that I do keep needing to remind myself).

My husband I try to bring some nice chocolate to give to people working at the airport (especially TSA agents who were working during the government shutdown). It’s a small gesture that is always much appreciated.

I find if you only ask a few benign questions of your concierge or desk clerk, you open the opportunity to real person to person connections. My husband and I were in Paris this past October and the concierge asked where we were from. On giving San Francisco (our city of departure) as the general area, the Frenchman replied that he had lived there in the 80's. We talked the music scene of the 80's & when I mentioned that I had been the recently deceased Eddie Money's account manager in the early 1980's, the man was in heaven - he loved Eddie Money! What are the odds? It made for one of the best memories I'll keep from that visit and reminded me how funny Eddie could be when just being himself.

These are the same rules that apply at home and can be summed up in three words: Be a mensch.

ALWAYS leave a tip for the hotel room maid/service providers, especially here in the US. It’s generally a minimum wage job, and they work hard for that money. Also, pick up/straighten up the bathroom before going....

Years ago my husband visited Romania after the fall of Ceaușescu. He was there for business. He took the time to learn their language. The citizens were honored and surprised he did it.

Points well-taken, but this author doesn't know my grandmother. LOL

I live in Ireland on a VERY high trafficked tourist route: the Ring of Kerry. I also travel extensively here in Ireland. I see so many rude travelers it boggles my mind. I’m a Yank and when I first moved to Ireland and heard people talk about “loud Americans” I was a bit peeved. I’ve now lived here six years and trust me: MOST Americans are LOUD. Ridiculously so! Quiet down and that will help around the world, trust me. Driving a rental car? When 3, 4, 14 (!) cars start piling up behind you, pull over and let them pass!! DON’T speed up when you finally arrive at a long straight stretch of road that allows passing! Know/learn the local “rules.” Bars close here at midnight (usually). Dinner stops being served in many restaurants at 9:30. Know this, learn this, instead of getting mad at purveyors when you can’t find dinner at 10:30 pm and the sun is still high in the sky. Saying thank you? I can’t believe how many tourists ignore the people that serve them. They certainly aren’t thinking about THANK YOU! We were invited to a waitress’s house once, after dining at a French restaurant 4 times. My friend was a great chatter and she hit it off with the waitress after so many visits. She invited us to girls night out! You don’t get that if you’re rude.... Just my “expat in Ireland” rant. ;-) Susan Waterville, Ireland

Be kind and don’t take photos of the locals while they do their shopping at the weekend market. Or sit in the local café. Happy to have you visit and even happier if you just enjoy participating in local life!

I have a photo of myself, circa 1968, aged 5, thanking and shaking the hand of a Disneyland tram driver/tour guide. That's how my grandmother raised me, and I continue to thank and respect those who provide a service to me.

Nothing greases the wheels of human interaction like kindness!

Courtesy is right and smart. We often think of the French as rude, but they’d never walk into a store without saying “Bonjour” before engaging in business. And nothing gets a traveler more credit than being able in any country you visit to say “hello”, “goodbye,” “thanks,” “please,” and “Sorry, I don’t speak [local language].”

I am quiet, neat and polite. I smile at the receptionist when checking in and leave a good tip when I check out. But it seems that hotel workers do not consider me a good customer. I am an introvert, and when I am on vacation (with intention to rest), I do not want to be talking to strangers or initiating small talk. I guess I should stick to AirBnB.

For Americans traveling overseas, I would suggest that one of the "kindest" things that can be done is not to shout when talking with each other.

Be nice. Don't throw trash in streams. Learn how to say "please" and "thank you" in the language of the country you're visiting. It is appalling that people need tips on how not to be awful travelers, isn't it?

Be kind. Make sure management knows about great service. And tip generously. While on a cruise ship, I discovered that the man looking after our cabin was in the middle of a six-month stint at sea, and his wife back home in Cambodia had given birth to their first child two months earlier. This is a common scenario. Knowing what many good people have to sacrifice to survive makes you look at your own life differently.