1, You are alive. Many people die from cancer and other things before they are 58.
2. Babies are born with serious disabilities (and some die).
3. There are many disabilities, serious disabilities various people have: blindness, deafness, respiratory problems, cardiac problems. memory problems, mental and intellectual problems, to name a few. Some even have multiple disabilities.
4. Get used to your wheelchair; accept your limitations.
4
I call the medical alert system around my neck "my diamonds", my walker "my Caddie" or "the Cadillac." And if I ever have to wear adult underwear, they will be my "silk panties." I refuse to let my declining health take me down! And I wear plenty of red lipstick so people remember I'm still here!
13
My trade-offs have been different in addition to a car a walker and Hakeem oh, I also have an adult recumbent tricycle. this exercise is my legs and keeps them moving like the author likes, and I like, and also gets me around town to run the groceries - hey.
3
This reminds me of the people who refuse to get hearing aids until they are recluses who drive their families nuts.
How about framing it as wow, there is such great technology out there that lets me do all kinds of things I couldn't do otherwise?
10
"Maybe people have been wondering, 'Why doesn't the poor guy take a load off--what is he trying to prove?' "
Absolutely no one is justified in entertaining this question--even just to themselves. This is Mr. Balf's call. His alone.
Thanks to Mr. Balf for this piece, and best wishes to him going forward.
5
My father was a paraplegic and a disabled vet. He got around with a combo of crutches and a wheelchair for years and I’m not sure a son can be more proud of their father. Your friends will not look down on you when you sit in your chair, they will continue to cherish your friendship and their respect for what you accomplish every day will continue to grow. A wheelchair is not defeat in the eyes of others, it is an inspiration. I can understand your inner fight, but those around you every day will not have a lesser view of you, I can guarantee you that.
4
Not a sign of weakness but strength. I was reminded of a woman at my gym - a regular with her little dog she was an inspiration to all -as you are.
1
I have CRPS. For two years I have experienced excruciating pain every day, every night. Pain woke me at 2 am Christmas morning. I’m on a lot of drugs. Because of other issues, that is what I am left with. In CRPS, one of the mantras is, “keep moving.” CRPS is a neurological and inflammation disorder. When it was suspected that I have CRPS, I did a deep dive into the medical literature. I was still in a doctoral program at the time and had free access through school. After I learned all I could, I went to a dietitian and have been on a strict anti-inflammation diet every day since, and so I have largely dodged the inflammation part. My right leg turns blue, sometimes all the up to the knee. The skin is shiny in places with weird hair growth in spots. But the pain is ever-present.
I have avoided a wheelchair and because my pain is mostly managed, I walk as much as I can every day. But it hurts. The relentless pain makes me want to give up walking, but I know that I can’t. I think a walker is next, simply because I’m falling a lot.
You never know what life will do. I am in my mid-50’s, and my life ended as I knew it. I have a new life now, a different one. I am blessed with 2 wonderful long-term partners (we are poly). I can’t imagine this falling on a single support person. I wish all a merry Christmas. I’m ok.
.
6
Wheelchairs ARE mobility. I’ve had MS for over 37 years. I have exacerbating/remitting MS, which has left it’s physical deficits over the years. The symptoms do vary from day to day, week to week, as time moves on. I use a combination of canes/rollators/in-store-scooters, and during good spells - and short distances, ambulatory without any assistance.
Another resource are Sky Caps at airports. You can arrange to have them whisk you through the airports from the front door, through the different terminals. And, have them do the same at interchanging flights. Just make sure you tip them well for their services, which are invaluable.
Most of all, simply do what you can do, and use what’s available to help you continue an active lifestyle to the best of your ability.
6
My husband has Parkinson’s and cannot walk on many days. I’m very grateful that I can still serve as his ‘legs’, running and fetching for him on those days. A wheelchair is not easy to negotiate through our house, but he knows how precarious his situation would be without one, when we’re out and about.
6
Speaking in my role as a care-giver, prior to my husband’s death in April from a type of pulmonary fibrosis, it was so evident that maintaining his independence was hugely important to him. He went from having to ask himself if getting up to do something or get something was “really worth” the exhaustion and lack of breath he’d feel afterwards. Then he got to the point of asking me to do things: “Would it be too much trouble...” To which I always replied, I would love to ....
Meanwhile for months last Fall I was suggesting I could order the transport chair (not a wheelchair, as he lacked the stamina to move a chair with his arms). And he’d always reply that it was “too soon.”
Till the Sunday morning when I decided - on my own - to go ahead and order it. I told him: “I did this for me.” I simply couldn’t take it any longer that if he needed assistance, I could not carry him but I could certainly push the chair.
Even when the chair came - and it was a lovely, strong folding one, which he actually consented to sit in to see if it fit him - he still avoided losing that independence of walking.
Till he got to the point where, once I offered or brought the chair, he’d reluctantly agree for me to take him to the bathroom or the living room or back to bed.
And the point came, of course, when he couldn’t even get up without my assistance.
Babies try to stand as soon as they get a chance. And adults want to maintain as much independence as possible. Makes sense!
7
Wonderful article. That rebellious streak is hard to dampen. I have a collection of crutches, walkers and trekking poles in the basement. Every time I see them, I am reminded of the joy of being able to stand and walk.
Thank you.
1
The writer writes, "I don't want to think about...surrender." After ten back surgeries I had to use a wheelchair temporarily. My pain was excruciating. I, too, fought my condition. Spinal cord stimulators, intensive physical therapy helped some, but not much. I fought to get back to the Me I used to be. My depression was deep and frightening.
I then stumbled across Chronic Pain Anonymous. Based on AA's 12 steps, I learned that in order to improve my life I had to do what swore I'd never do: Surrender. Accept that I was powerless over my chronic pain and that the old me was gone forever.
I didn't stop researching new technologies to ease my pain, but I came to terms with my condition and focused my life of service to others. I was tired of every day being just about me. My self-pity and victimhood fell away. I rejoined life.
Chronic Pain Anonymous saved my life. It is a worldwide organization committed to showing people who suffer with chronic pain and chronic illness that they are not alone and there is a way out. It holds daily online Zoom and face to face meetings. Go to chronicpainanonymous.org for more information.
2
i've been confined (relative to the freedom of being ambulatory) to a power chair for the last 10 years of my 72 years of life. i have two main experiences with it:
(1) the kindness of strangers offering to help me open doors, reach for items above my head, etc. i find that laborers are far more likely to offer to help me than my wealthy heighbors who seem to consider me an inconvenience or nuisance.
(2) i am not in the desired audience demographics of either advertisers or of those who create TV shows or movies (i have written countless letters to the NYT and WSJ asking them to include accessible housing in their real estate sections. they fail to do this and they don't explain why the disabled 'don't count' as their audience ). it is disheartening to always see 'active' mobile people doing things with not a single mobility device in sight (most of the disabled were once able and always being excluded is depressing).
18
At age 69, I trekked in the Himalayan foothills, traveling on my own. Back home, I hiked our local mountains several times a week. At gatherings, I could stand on my feet, walk around the room, talking with others. I was lucky, and I was grateful for it.
No more. I understand that things could be worse, but at the same time, there is a nastiness about what happened to me that exacerbates the situation. That thousands of others are suffering in the same way only makes it worse.
What took away my ability to walk, other than in the risky, painful way Mr. Balf describes, was the adverse effects of a medication. It was a medication with no proven benefit for my demographic--a medication that's vastly over-prescribed.
Some people, even friends and family members, especially those who take the same drug without severe problems, doubt not only the cause of the disease I now have, but also, despite graphic photographs (see StatinStories.com), whether I really can't walk. Those who do get it, tell me that severe adverse effects are rare: but since the US has no system for reporting adverse effects of drugs, we don't know how common they are.
By coincidence, I know seven people locally, two of them MDs, who lost the ability to walk unaided following statin use. incredibly, 1/3 of Americans over 45 are on statins.
Mr Ball writes, "Whether standing or sitting, I aspire to her energy....." Plenty of pain, but to me the most brutal statin side effect is insurmountable fatigue.
14
Watched an NBC Saturday morning show Innovation Nation with Mo Raca, about a week ago. One of those innovations was the Aliker Walking Bike, developed by a person in I think Toronto.... a bit of genius... may help get you upright instead of sitting....
4
Tho' this powerful piece ostensibly is about "walking," it is worth mentioning that author Balf - in 2006 - rode his bicycle across most of Israel. Successfully.
To show Todd's character and mindset then (disclaimer: he's a friend), as reported in Bicycling magazine: "The southern Israel desert crossing became so desperate...the author resorted to using his precious water to cool his shoes rather than to rehydrate." I have no doubt there will come a time when he may need water to cool the wheels of his "chair."
4
I'm crying in my wine. I had a horrible knee replacement surgery over 4 years ago. I have no. diabetes. hypertension, heart issues or any preconditions. I haven't walked since. 2017. I even went to the number one clinic here in Florida. Just got worse. Now I have an awful case of lymphedema in that leg. I just want to get better. Don't know who or where to go. very sad. people including my own family think I'm faking it. Who would want this life? not me, never. I always worked like a dog until this happened.i hope everyone the greatest, happiest, healthiest holiday season ever.
8
Karen, sorry to hear about your knee problem. Treat yourself like a race horse and work to reduce the swelling. Elevate your knee when sitting, and use a light wrap to help reduce the swelling. Then if you can, try to keep moving, don’t sit still too long. It’s a new year coming, try to get some physical therapy to improve your quality of life. Pool exercise is great too, check your local parks and recreation office to see if they have a therapy program. Good luck!
4
'You're faking it' is surprisingly common, in my experience. I'd say roughly 1/3 of people are helpful, 1/3 unconcerned, 1/3 unhelpful (including 1/9 rude or worse).
3
Many folks who use wheelchairs remain completely autonomous and active but, like everything else in our commodified health system, some of that independence is dependent on access to the resources needed to get state of the art equipment, modify transportation vehicles and living spaces, and maintain a regular schedule of critically important physical therapy. Another piece of the adaptation to life after trauma is the ability to develop and maintain upper extremity and core strength. For individuals living alone, on a fixed income, with insurance that provides only basic support with rare access to state-of-the-art equipment, with injuries or disease that preclude the development of the strength needed to manage transfers, or living in rural areas where transportation support is absent or minimal, the ability to continue walking becomes something beyond a challenge; it becomes the difference between living and surviving... the difference between vibrant engagement with our society and invisibility. There are too many invisible people in the United States-we can do so much better.
9
My first worry is that you will fall and cause a limb fracture of a head injury. I would suggest taking fewer risks on things like sand and slats.
3
The following is presumptuous.
You choose. Maybe, in some ways, you are fighting against your body in your choice - in your ability to choose.
But you still choose. For now, you still choose.
Walking is glorious. As is choice.
Fight. For whatever you decide and for the ability to do so.
3
I was a very hardcore runner for 25yrs. Late 90s my right leg started to not stop me on downhills and progressed to 2001 and could not run anymore. Years later diagnosed with a right leg Dystonia. Walking has gotten progressively more difficult and now walk mostly with hiking poles and a device to keep the leg from hyperextending. I found road biking 2004 and became a fanatical biker. The last few years my right leg does not spin properly, but still biking using an e-bike. I am now 77 and still fit. You have to be adaptable. My mantra for many years has been "you have to be tougher than the problem".
4
This is a quote from someone, but I don't remember whom; I read it years ago. I think it helpe persuade my dad (now 100) to use a chair:
"I'm not *confined* to a wheelchair -- I'm *liberated* by a wheelchair."
I can feel your ambivalence, nd share it, but thought I would throw that quote into the discussion.
9
Some history: I was 17 when I was injured in diving accident on August 17, 1965. It was between my junior and senior year of high school. Up until that day, I was an active guy working on my '52 Mercury, chasing girls, and playing guitar in my crummy garage band, fantasies or rock stardom rolling around in my head. The Vietnam War was a looming possibility for me and my friends. The accident changed all that. After nine months of rehab, I went home and worked at rebuilding my life from the ground up and coming to terms with the new 'normal'. I was a high functioning quadriplegic, C5-C6 and used a manual chair. Ever walking again was off the table. It was four wheels to go from 'A' to 'B' or nothing.
There is a complex relationship I have with the chair. It's much more than a piece of furniture or a means of transport. It can be a means of liberation, a prison, a barrier to relationships and employment. To me it's been all thaat and more over the years. I used a manual chair for about the first 50 years while working and driving. I was reluctant to trust a power chair for fear of having an inopportune breakdown in it and being stranded somewhere. The wear and tear on shoulders. elbows, and hands is debilitating and the pain relentless. I switched to a power chair about five years ago and chastise myself daily for not doing so sooner.
As I said, my chair is not a piece of furniture. It is an essential part of me just as my legs are. You adapt or die. I adapted.
17
Twenty years ago I was treated for bladder cancer with surgery and radiation followed by chemo. Killed the cancer, but there were side effects. I had one hip replaced and then a few years later removed altogether with no hope of future replacement. After a number of complications, I realized that life would be easier in a wheelchair. Canes didn't supply enough support, walkers occupied my hands and made housework impossible. I look at my chairs as tools to get me to the grocery store, the movies and, most importantly, the swimming pool at Gold's Gym. They have a lift chair, and I can do water aerobics classes and swim laps. I feel liberated in the water, and the easy movements keep my joints from seizing up. Plus the socializing is worth every minute spent getting to the gym. After a good water workout followed by lunch with friends and then a well-earned nap, life looks pretty good. The fact that I'm mobile because of a wheelchair doesn't seem all that important.
12
Because of the stereotypes associated with disability, accepting a wheelchair for what it is - a tool - can be a tremendous hurdle. My wife has had MS for nearly 35 years. She got her first electrical scooter within a year so we could keep going to the zoo. Then she used it to go back to school and get her AA, BA, and MSW after she was forced to give up her first career. Now she has a "fleet" of scooters - one in a ramped van, one she uses in the garden to reach into raised beds and to walk our dogs, and one that folds up which we use to travel on trips we refuse to forego. Our lives are richer because she dared to accept the first one years ago.
21
I met Todd at a bicycle time trial up Mt Washington in 2003. He kindly mentioned me and my buddy Mike Arciero in his Outside article about the climb.
Great guy! So sorry to hear of his spinal issues. Crush it, Todd!
4
After enduring countless sessions of physical therapy, multiple surgeries, and several years on crutches, I finally decided it was time to get a custom manual wheelchair. My chair arrived 2 months ago and already has significantly improved my life. I can carry things (on my lap) that I couldn't with crutches. I am no longer continually searching for places to sit down. My fear of slipping and falling on wet floors has disappeared. My independence in doing tasks around the house has increased. I can keep up with friends and family. I'm more active, social, and confident than I have been in years. I only regret the opportunities and experiences I missed (I'm in my 20s) because I didn't get a chair sooner.
I was very active before my mobility difficulties began, running 30 miles per week. Accepting the need for a wheelchair was initially challenging. As I recognized all of the ways in which I would benefit from a chair, my hesitation gave way to a sense of readiness.
Be kind to yourself. Friends and family will follow your lead. You will know when it is the right time for you to get a chair.
12
I don't want to sit either. I am still able to use a walker but walking is getting more difficult. I am slower. I need to stop. I can't keep up, and watching them wait for me is awful.
I know that one of those mobility scooters will allow me to keep pace with my grandkids and walk with my wife. But I'm afraid that once I sit down, I will not get up.
So I put on the orthotics, pull out the walker and the dog and I go, short but frequent walks. I do the daily exercise, keep up with PT but a lot less frequently. its ok for now, I just wonder for how much longer.
5
Our society does not care about the disabled. When I thought I might become wheelchair bound two years ago, I considered suicide. If you live in New York City (as I did at the time) you cannot use the subway if you're disabled. If you cannot use the subway, it is extremely difficult to get from one place to another. If you want to go to a Broadway show, you have to be rich enough to pay full price, because the discount seats require going up two flights of stairs. Many movie theaters don't have elevators. I didn't care how I looked or about the fact I could no longer run or climb mountains. I cared that I could no longer to another borough, a movie or a play. Disability works ok for the rich. I was very fortunate, when I finally got the right treatment from the third doctor and the fourth, fifth and sixth physical therapists, I started to get better, then I moved to California where it's a lot easier to get around. I was lucky I had that option.
9
I convinced my mother at 82 to move to a wheelchair (unreplaceable arthritic knees) because it gave her more mobility, not less. That is how I intend to view my mobility issues as I grow older and face any disabilities I face. Wheelchairs mean being able to participate fully when pain and disability compromise movement. I’m happy this author is coming to understand that options are being opened, not limited by his decision.
11
Dear Mr. Balf, Walking IS extraordinary; so is getting from place to place. Some take a plane; some take a train. Some take a taxi, but only if it is raining. One stick, two sticks, a walker, a chair: a choice or a habit, who cares? The journey is yours.
11
"I can’t help thinking what he will think when I finally take a seat."
I will think that you decided to take joy in what you can do, rather than suffer for what you can't.
There are so many things I will never be able to do that spending time on those lacks would overwhelm me. I prefer to celebrate my accomplishments.
I hope you find the courage to do the same.
6
When a wheelchair makes your life better, it is not your enemy. It is your best friend. I'm in my 25th year of being wheelchair-freed.
12
“Wheelchair-Freed” -What a great expression -thank you.
The author may want to look into exoskeleton technology— many with a wide range of musculoskeletal disabilities are using these to maintain or regain function. People in Japan are actually using the tech to keep working. The Wyss institute at Harvard is working on a soft suit, others are more conventional— hard suits.
3
I have some balance issues, sciatic pain and am just naturally clumsy. I purchased trekking poles, like cross country ski poles but they’re used for exercise walking. They’ve been life savers. I had a job where I commuted to New York and rather than having to take cabs or stop every half block to catch my breath, I use the trekking poles. Instead of looking decrepit and old, I can fake looking vibrant and brisk. They help me maintain balance, work more muscle groups than just walking, and they help me build stamina. I love walking in New York and the trekking poles help me keep doing that.
81
Well adapted and evolved, Gabrielle Rose .
9
@Gabrielle Rose I also use trekking poles for walking, I need support since my stroke. The poles are faster than a cane and more comfortable for distances. How do you walk in New York without whacking others with the poles? They require more space than a single person.
6
Todd, I do not know if you would remember me , but I remember you and our tennis matches at the soon to be famous "New Hampshire Hotel" in Newcastle thirty five years ago.
I have had both my knees replaced, but I am still playing tennis.
It is ironic you wrote this column today because I tangled with a broken toilet and lost yesterday. At 75 I realized I can not sail independently anymore. This was looming of course,
but realization is harder. Buck up Buddy a new day always follows a dark night. Curt
102
As the widow of a wheelchair guy, the first thing that struck me about this article was the illustration, which depicts a wheelchair like the first one my husband had, back in 1979: stainless steel and naugahyde, swing-away footrests, probably weighing fifty pounds. By the time I knew him, many years later, he was using a rigid frame sport chair that might have weighed twenty pounds. I can guarantee you that the woman at the gym (spoken of later in the article) was using the latter. I would guess that the chair that belonged to the author's mother, and now the author, is the former. Mr. Balf, do yourself a favor and get yourself a sport chair. All wheels are not created equal.
249
@Margaret Peterson
Agreed. The difference between a modern chair and one from 40 years ago is enormous.
39
@Warren :-)
10
Walking and hiking were always my exercise and my great joy. Seven years ago spinal stenosis caught up with me. Extensive lumbar laminectomy and damage to the spinal nerves left my right leg at less than 50% strength. Rehab and exercise have gotten mt to 75%, but I still can’t use it to go up stairs. I use a cane or walking stick outside. I walk my dogs, but the distances are short. Everything I do requires a calculation of whether or not I can make it. I’m 69 and retired. I envisioned a retirement of travel and hiking. Not to be. Alas, I count my blessings. I have a wife who loves me. Two dogs who think I’m great. One cat who likes me as much as cats can. And one cat who doesn’t try to kill me. Life is good. Merry Christmas. Happy new year.
350
@RogerJ I am retired and am a volunteer docent at the Milwaukee Art Museum. I give many tours to schoolchildren while on my wheelchair. I am fortunate to have a full life!
74
@RogerJ
I too have spinal stenosis, so I can relate to your situation. Walking with my wife, or solo was always my 'big deal' in life. Well...
However, I m in awe of your attitude. I need to learn from your "life is good" frame of reference. My goal for 2020 is to emulate your wonderful perspective.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you too!
71
@RogerJ i too calculate distances to determine if i can make it. I have spinal stenosis which makes walking a challenge. i manage to get to my car, where i am completely comfortable, and then from the car to the doctor or dentist etc. of course i am going to be 92 in two weeks, One has to keep a sense of humor and perspective. I figure at this age with just a few herniated discs and a hiatal hernia, i am lucky. My cat also loves me, except when he hides to avoid the twice weekly home dialysis he gets for his kidneys. I am thankful for a sharp mind, healthy kids and each day . happy new year
68
A couple of decades ago I was driving a concrete mixer and we began to get deliveries to contractors putting ramps where curbs were at corners.
We had no idea of the mobility that was about to become a reality for millions of Americans.
As I understand it, the A.D.A. set it all in motion.
What a brilliant piece of work.
I have no insights into the industry, but I imagine it was not as accomplished prior to the legislation.
They took the impetus and created an imaginative industry that uplifts people and literally transports them to a better place. Wherever that may be for them.
I am glad I did that work back then.
105
Bush 41.
11
It is important for those of us who need a wheelchair to let go of the phrase “confined to a wheelchair”. I know, because Multiple Sclerosis robbed me of the ability to walk twenty years ago. For longer than I care to remember, I sat at home, bored and lonely and depressed. Then my husband pointed out that my avoidance of movement on wheels was limiting his life as well as our child’s.
Once I got my first wheelchair, all of our lives improved. We began to travel and to go to plays and out to dinner and to visit friends and.... I came to understand that using a wheelchair, if you need it, is not limiting. I am not confined to a wheelchair; I am freed by it.
230
@Elaine Francis For me "confined to a wheelchair" has become "freed by a wheelchair"
9
@Elaine Francis My amazing Mother, who loved life and rarely complained about compounding health challenges & handicaps that would have made most people completely give up told me, 'I've coped with alot, but I once thought: well, "I'm just not a wheelchair person!"
And then I realized, if this is the only way I can get there, if this is the only way I can be part of things and share, and enjoy, then it's a vehicle and tool, and it's not who I am!"
In short, my Mother was a wise & wonderful, utterly inspirational extraordianary, ordinary woman who left me a more real examples of what it means to face human challenges with grace and resourcefulness throughout life than I could ever convey!
Pass it on --and big thanks for those who do so here!
10
I loved this article for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that it gave me a new sense of wonder and joy about this most natural ability that I have taken for granted for the better part of my 73 years. Thank you and congratulations for being true to your own path, regardless of the mobility option you choose.
64
Most of us are temporarily able-bodied. I'm dealing with the opportunities and challenges that come with metastatic cancer that is being treated palliatively. The journey of illness and aging is a journey of ongoing loss and learning how to fall, constantly redrawing lines and trying to remain open to the adaptation that is required to keep going. We all benefit by having these honest conversations. Thanks for taking the risk.
128
Check out the Alinker Walking Bike, maybe an option to keep you moving without the chair? Not for everyone, but its been a game-changer for my wife!
18
@Jeffrey McDonald
So many people here in the comments have suggested an Alinker. It's wonderful! I've known about them since the inventor first launched her website, and it's just awesome to see them take off in the marketplace.
So happy for your wife! Did it take a long time to get one? I know they've been on backorder for a while.
4
This reminds me of the book The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge. It is an incredible recounting of research on recovery from debilitating spinal and brain injuries. The researchers he spotlighted were doing cutting-edge stuff, working with the somatosensory cortex if I remember, which is the brain's map of the body. There were some unbelievable breakthroughs, which may be unrepresentative or caused by the researchers' methods. To help find cures, we need to open the medical field to all people curious about biology and serious about healing. I think that means increasing acceptance rates at med schools.
3
Ah man, thank you, thank you, for the perspective!
I WILL stop being whiny about my plantar fasciitis and tendonitis that came from - hiking too much.
"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a woman who had no feet."
Thank you.
67
Dude you are amazing. Whether you feel you Deserve it or not . . . you are. Well written article and I will take your lesson to heart in my own life. This will be required reading not only for me but for some of my awesome patients I work with at the VA Clinic here in Windsor. You may not have chosen this path, not sure who would but you are doing a lot of good with this article.
You may not want to be an inspiration but you are now. Please keep us in the loop, keep writing and seizing the moment. The best to you, your family and readers.
55
Your beautiful essay and others comments brought tears to my eyes as I looked back. I had my SCI/L5S1 when I was 26 and and through a series of events I woke up paralyzed on my right leg. I am truly blessed as it made me look at life a lot differently and those around me. I had about 7 days of feeling really angry and sorry for myself until I discovered another in my hospital that was in more difficult circumstances than myself. My ortho doctor said up front he did not know how it was going to turn out. He said I would live... I would just live differently. He was right. I shared that phrase with my MIL when she herself had a difficult diagnosis that she did not like. And if someone said to me ‘I can remove that from your life’ I would not. It made me a better person, taught me immeasurable life lessons, weeded true friends from artificial friends, and showed me the heart of the man that I married 31 years ago. He’s been amazing and seen me through some tough times. I’ve been blessed with 2 kids, adults now, and I always said to them ‘the person you love may not be standing’; and ‘someone differently abled may be the tallest person in the room.’ In the future I may be in a wheelchair at some point and when I bought my little house years ago that was at the forefront of my mind. But for now I try to be in the now and nature. Thank you for taking me on that journey of reflection and reminding me to appreciate now. My best to you as you navigate your own path on your own terms.
64
hits home
I am 65 years old...got MS when I was about 26...had to retire on disability at 41..from a job I loved. I was a lobbyist. I exercised every other night. I was on my feet all day in different state capitols..or government buildings...and most had marble floors. I could walk..but I was very weak. I could not run, I could not ride a bike any longer. But my doc said I should get a wheelchair right away...because it would help with my overwhelming fatigue..sometimes sitting upright is exhausting and debilitating. Standing is out of the question. I finally worked through several ideas..thinking I could not/ should not give in to a WHEELCHAIR....after considering a scooter...simply took up too much space in any public space or sidewalk..a manual chair, kinda' defeated the purpose of saving energy if I'm hauling myself around in a manual chair...so I finally settled on a power chair. I am on my third one..and it's a rocker! I can position the seat to shift the center of gravity to reduce the energy it takes to sit upright, I can fly from place to place..my dog loves running beside it as I race her up a hill. Then when I'm at a store with an item out of reach from the seated position...I stand up and reach and grab it...I look around..seeing some startled faces..and I yell.."It's a MIRACLE!"..then I plop back in my chair...do a quick 90 degree turn and scoot out of there...it's a god-send...and I'm lucky to have it..!
14
This is a very inspiring article. His commitment to health and staying active are even more applicable to the millions of sedentary Americans. Other than those with true disabilities, most believe that aging implies less physical ability and just give up hoping uncle Sam buys them a scooter.
The spectre of a wheelchair has loomed large in my life since a car accident in 1986. Only those with similar issues can truly understand how difficult this is on a daily basis.
To continue to walk, I've given everything else up. My entire life revolves around daily exercise to keep my body strong and my back functioning. The pain is indescribable and I've chosen not to take nothing for it.
Most of us take walking for granted. It's only when we become injured, disabled or ill that our inner resources are tested. How you react to a potentially life-altering mobility issue reflects your true personality: give in, or fight like the dickens.
I'm still walking. But, then, I've designed my life around being ambulatory. Someday, I know that will change.
4
I know the author. My youngest child went to school with his eldest child. He is an incredibly talented author and athlete. I am saddened to hear that a wheelchair may be in his future. As applied to him, life seems very unfair.
1
When I was diagnosed with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (thickening of the walls of the heart), I was told there are two courses of action. Drugs or exercise, I chose exercise. Three years later the heart walls haven't thickened further, my swimming, walking and weight training regime paid off. Recently played beach volleyball with a bunch of teenagers who took bets that I'd stroke. I didn't, in fact, I'm 73 and still medically certified to fly my own airplane.
Where there is a will.....
6
The goal is to remain as active and independent as possible. If walking is not be the best way to do this, insisting on walking may only limit your life. You probably don't resent needing to take an elevator to the top of a skyscraper, you shouldn't resent using a wheelchair if it improves your life.
I became handicapped in my 40s. I'm grateful that I can take my mobility scooter in my car and go nearly anywhere. I'm grateful for all the remarkable gizmos that let me bike, kayak, drive and otherwise live independently. The gizmos are only tools. If I resisted using them, my attitude would limit my life as much as my physical handicaps do.
12
Todd, your friend Brad will support your choice to take care of yourself.
4
As someone who has to use a wheelchair for long distances but can get up and out of the chair so my husband has an easier time of lifting it over obstacles like restaurant doorways, I get tired of people who judge me. I have had people say, "So, you CAN walk. What are you lazy then?" Or, "So you are not really disabled, right?" Not everyone who has to use a wheelchair cannot walk, it means that they cannot walk long distances or perhaps they can walk only a few steps. When I get those looks or comments, I want to shout out, "None of your business!"
18
Todd, I bought a minivan after having my third child. I reasoned purchasing an SUV, to be the cool mom, would cost me at least a year of retirement. Energy is like money, you have to budget and invest it wisely. The energy you are spending on this wheelchair thing is wasting your energy.
4
thank you
when i can’t run, i walk
when i can’t walk, I walk slower
i can’t imagine not walking
Right now, I’m 64 and running 35 miles a week and walking about another 20.
So far, so good. I’m grateful for every day I get to walk.
10
I urge you to check out an Alinker walking bike. These mobility devices are a game-changer for anyone loathe to use a wheelchair. You CAN be mobile and feel like yourself, too.
It's a shame it's taken so many decades for a device like the Alinker to be invented — a mobility aid that considers the whole person (body, mind and spirit) and not just the disability.
5
I am 55 and was diagnosed with inclusion body miosotis and know that I will end in a wheelchair in 10 years or so unless a cure is found, I manage currently with a mechanical booster to lift me from chairs when attending parties , I also look for tall chairs in restaurants and in Starbucks or cafes. I am not sure how I will handle it but having a caregivers is one of my main worries
5
Thank you. There is a fellow at my gym who straddles the world between walking and his wheelchair. I've always admired him for his grit. Now this article helped me understand some of what he is going through.
4
Hi Todd, I think I remember reading your articles in Bike Magazine or some other publications in the early 90s? At any rate, only you know what is best for you. Best wishes that your road is of your choosing. I admire your persistence AND perspective.
4
Mr. Balf; only those with severe illness or disability can begin to understand how all-encompassing ones health is, when you don't have it. Life rewards the young, the healthy. We see those beat down to nothing because they have fought so long. Outsiders lose sympathy and many can't empathize. The fight is all that is left for those with life ending illness, the fight to die in dignity with as little suffering and burden to those who surround them. Just look at the typical hospice benefit; capitated at barely enough to provide care. Even insurance companies have moved on.
Good health sir, nothing else really matters.
8
Keep perservering! 15 years ago I woke up from surgery to remove a brain tumor with total paralysis of the right side of my body. I was confined to a wheelchair during the weeks of rehabilitation in the hospital, and could only walk with 3 people surrounding me and holding me up. I won't go into the details of how difficult and demeaning the rehab program was, except to say that I was determined to walk again, unassisted. The hospital staff of course insisted that I bring the wheelchair home with me; my reply was that I was never going to use it again.
Being the stubborn person that I am, I never did use the wheelchair again. I hobbled along with a cane and leg brace for several months, falling many times. I was ultimately able to resume normal activities, including snowboarding.
Best of luck in your journey.
9
Will it never end, around the holidays the Times ramps up its publication of cancer and related conditions stories; to what end? to pump up charitable contributions, have folks not so afflicted feel glad temporarily, they have dodged what, in one form or another, awaits us all. Or maybs - only a guess, here, the Editorial Board, or whoever rubber stamps these pieces, thinks it should induce in Times reader feelings of gratitude and/or sorrow for those so afflicted. Whatever the reason or the season - enough already! Some folks draw the short straw and shuffle off way before they should. Sorry, but the rest of us have to get on with our lives and toss back sone spiked eggnog . Cheers!
8
@heyomania - So don’t read the articles that make you so irritated, already. Every news outlet has “Christmas baggers” with no specific time connection to be used over the holidays when there’s not much hard news because people are on holiday. My trusty perennial was always the Boxing Day international bird count. Totally reliable. You can’t always count on the police and fire checks to have anything worth reporting.
When you are the reporter who gets stuck with working the Christmas shifts, you have to fill the time and/or space somehow. Give the poor reporter a break!
2
Dude, no offense, but if I were you, I’d be on the lookout for three ghosts tonight.
6
@heyomania
I have heard many complaints about the NYT but, frankly, yours is the only complaint I have heard about printing sad stories around the holidays and the possible motives for doing this.
I am intrigued by the originality of your complaint. When did you first realize that the Times was issuing these sad stories around the holidays? You would have to be a patient man because you could only collect your data once a year. BTW, how many years have you noticed the Times doing this?
1
A great article. Thank you.
1
I’m with you. I would never give in either!
You give in if you can’t walk on your own
yes it is amazing how little we appreciate what we got, until it starts to go..I am a life-long long-distance world traveller and walker but at 62, just had five level spinal fusion..As far as I am concerned, I have to go with the Grateful Dead, "if unable to walk, i'll crawl: if unable to walk I'll crawl." I've had great days, a good l ife - there will always be so many that are so much more needy than me..and have never had one second of the western luxury I have grown up with..If unable to walk I'll crawl.
6
Please take a look at the A'Linker as an option.
4
@Clint I checked this mobility device out. It's a great improvement on a walker or WC
1
My YMCA is chock-full of men and women doing everything but
somersaults in the air in their wheelchairs.
Pinned to the earth with just two legs as I am, I marvel at them and sometimes envy them.
7
Thank You Todd.
Todd, Thanks so much for your story/article. I broke my neck at 18 and have mostly stayed up on my legs though i now use a scooter to roll w the pooch, whom i got 5 years ago to teach me more about walking while i was still at it 100% of the time. I'd love to offer you a gift, inclining your bed can alleviate some of the neuriologic sequelae you undoubtedly have to deal with. www.inclinedbedtherapy.com. I put my bed up in 12/18; aside from getting off meds and on cannibas it is the single best thing i've done for the crippled body. Do it and you'll never sleep flat again. And, if you love it as much as i know you will, share it with your old tennis buddy Curt!
8
Every disability brings with it a set of new abilities.
8
@Bruce DB Nonsense. Unless you suddenly become a mathematical genius or can play the violin or suddenly have some other talent that comes when you lose your legs, your only new ability is figuring out how to cope. I hate the differently abled propaganda. I find it condescending.
6
love this article and the reader replies! yes walk walk walk and when that's not possible totally a wheelchair, crutches or anything to get you moving! as the who sang GOING MOBILE!!!!
6
Years ago a quadriplegic friend emphasized to me that she was not “confined to a wheelchair” but, rather, liberated by it.
8
Please contact the Service Dog Project. They train Great Danes to be mobility dogs for folks. Lots of people out of their wheelchairs. Maybe you can too! Great organization located in Ipswich, Mass.
4
Thank you for your thoughts on this, the next stage of life’s journey I’m about to take. I see it as a loss of independence, turning inward to a house - bound prisoner. I’m going to keep going as long as I can still drive and walk with canes or rolling walker from the VA.
5
@Trevor Bower Please reconsider the driving if any (or all) of your family or friends question your ability. It took us almost seven years and multiple "interventions" to get my father-in-law to stop driving at 92, despite multiple near-misses of pedestrians, running stop signs and red lights, complaints about "rude drivers honking" on the freeway (because he was going 25 mph or veering between lanes). All of the children refused to ride with him or let the grandchildren do so; still, he'd insist "I've been driving since I was 12" and continued on until one of the kids finally took his keys and car and dared him to call the police to get it back. All of the kids had offered to pay for taxi services, 24/7 private driving services, and he was living in a retirement complex that provided buses, shuttles, and private taxi service as well. With the advent of Uber, Lyft, and the like, many young people don't bother to own cars anymore. Embrace technology and don't endanger others when you can no longer drive safely.
3
Walk everywhere. As one gets older, the best exercise. Do it.
4
I agree. The physical therapists are strong advocates of walking for physical and mental health.
4
In flat Pebble Beach SC, 5 mpday by wheelchair is easy. In hilly Seattle WA, Atlanta Loganville GA it is very challenging.
Dancing riding a wheelchair is fun. So far dancing with an above the knee amputation prosthetic is an exercise in PLFs. (Parachute Landing Falls.)
In a kayak an above the knee amp prosthetic is just plain dangerous. So, needed. Good design for carrying heavy prosthetic by wheel, secure locks for seat cushion, wheels, and frame for leaving wheelchair to walk or run on prosthetic.
National and International Seattleite Paralympic kayaker Dorian Taylor, spinal wheelchair is free as a kayaker and as a paratrooper.
Now raising money for her sky diving competitions.
Water, kayaks, flatly centerboard sailboats, are compatible, and wheelchairs with balloon wheels seem just fine for the beach and to carry wooden peg leg prosthetic with fins for swimming.
Now get us exoskeletons that are affordable.
5
An alternative to a wheelchair exists for many people. Have you ever heard of the Alinker? It's an award-winning, unique, self-propelled, non-motorized, three-wheeled, stylish mobility device that enables many to "walk" while sitting. The Alinker keeps you at eye-level with other adults and is allowed in indoor public venues. It easily fits in most car trunks and travels free-of-charge by plane. Search online for it! By the way, I am not related to the company at all--I bought one due to painful plantar fasciitis and other foot problems that made bearing weight on my feet excruciating at times. Check the website to see if it could help you or your loved ones!
7
Thanks for sharing this beautiful column. As a Physical Therapist, I fully understand what you are expressing, in your desire to “fight” the need for any assistive devices. This is the human condition that we all share to some degree. We want to deny any perceived weakness in ourselves and in the eyes of others. The truth is that a walker, crutches or a wheelchair can ultimately make it easier and less laborious for you to navigate your environment. To say nothing of making it safer and thus prevent a potentially catastrophic fall. Please consider the possibility of having more energy to actually do those things you want or need to do, more safely.
6
Powerful storytelling by a powerful man.
6
I had 40% of my miniscus removed in my early 40's. Three decades later, I keep waiting for it to grow back, or for doctors to discover some miracle cure - but my left knee is now bone on bone. I can walk slowly, but cannot run. I keep forgetting this, like when I have to run for the bus.
So, I can be grateful for what I have - one good knee and a "fair" left one which benefits from intensive exercise. Or I can be angry at this. Whichever I choose, I can't grow back the removed miniscus. So most of the time, I choose to be grateful that, while not as mobile or young as I once was, I am still mobile. And that is enough.
7
@Joseph Hanania My husband had a meniscus transplant almost 20 years ago, returned to running a few years later, and is still running and skiing approaching 60. Several of his peers have had the same successful operation. Find a good orthopedic surgeon, it's not too late.
2
What a caterpillar taught me on Christmas Eve - All through Fall I had been bicycling through a mid-Ontario woodland paradise on paved rural road, wondering at the sight of thousands of black and orange caterpillars making their way over a paved road. Seemingly purposeful, hundreds had been squashed by passing vehicles. Nonetheless, they were back every day that I went out. forward two months plus, snow lying everywhere, my wife calls me to the front porch. There, in a snowy footprint is one of the "buddies" struggling his way up the toeprint of a boot's imprint. It is below zero, and he has endured several nights of over 25 below zero in this part of the world. Before him lies what, in relation to his size, is an eternity of snow. He moves on, at his own excruciatingly slow pace in a south-west direction. Undaunted, his march is relentless, even though without hope of achieving his objective, and with his own death an imminent certainty. He marches to the beat of his own drummer, encapsulated in a furry self that cannot weigh much more, or even an ounce. This is the strength and fortitude of a creature of nature, seemingly unrelated to me. Could I ever muster this kind of strength in the face of all adversity? At 72 years of age, and the perils of aging beginning to appear, I may yet find out.
18
I’ve been a complete T-6 paraplegic for almost 30 years. I ejected from a Navy A-7 over the California desert and overnight went from ace of the base, to a four man room in a veterans rehab hospital. I remember asking the old guys how long it took them to get used to being in a chair. They said, you never do. In short it’s hard, but they weren’t quite right. Life goes on, and it’s a precious thing. Early on I discovered wheelchair sports. I ride a hand-cycle and play wheelchair tennis. At sixty two I still compete and travel to tournaments around the country. My biggest problem now is not my disability, but figuring out how to play and win against men half my age and younger. It’s challenging, but a lot of fun, and I’m not going down without a fight! I would suggest you give it a try. There’s probably a wheelchair tennis group in your area that would love to help you get started. I have a feeling you’d be a pretty good player.
26
To the author: Feldenkrais Method!!! Try the Feldenkrais Method - regardless of how much time you do or do not end up using a wheel chair. I do not have paralysis and I've never had a stroke. However, I did break my back and I do have a spinal fusion. For years, I focused on pilates to maintain good spinal health and it did get me up and hiking and cycling again. However, 13 years after my injury, I found myself with chronic nerve pain in both my legs and chronic lower back pain. I had stopped pilates and thought this meant it was time to return to it. I did - only pilates made the pain worse not better. What eventually brought me relief and increasingly greater mobility is The Feldenkrais Method. It also made me realize how I had been living with low-level chronic pain all those years (pilates notwithstanding) - because for the first time in memory, I've started experiencing increasingly longer stretches of being pain free. And all this is happening as I turn 50. I totally agree: walking is extraordinary. When I got out of the hospital post-spinal fusion at age 33, I had to start by walking a few steps with a walker. Each day, I had to walk a few more steps. For months, my main purpose in life was to walk a little bit further each day. Feldenkrais has at its heart compassion and ease. Blessings for your journey ahead - may you connect deeply with compassion and wholeness.
10
I'd say accept the inevitable but I can't. Why? Because I kept on looking for a job out of pure orneriness. I've had a miserable 6 years since I was downsized 3 months shy of being 55. No job has lasted due to financial problems on the company side. Each loss occurred as I was getting older and less desirable. But I kept on looking. I finally found 2 jobs not at once but one after the other. I left the first one because the second one was a better fit and more money. Sometimes giving up isn't an option, not because we're smart or better strategists. We simply can't imagine not working or, in your case, not walking.
Good luck no matter what you decide. And whatever you decide it has to work for you.
11
I have had an assortment of leg injuries from youth to my now older stage and have gone through long periods of limited mobility. I'm currently rehabbing my latest joint replacement. I have always, very stubbornly, parked quite far out in parking lots. Some people think it is me, just forcing myself to walk but that's not really it. I walk further because I can. And I don't want to ever give in to anything less. Because. I. Can.
10
@PaulaC. i doubt there are many people on this forum who can truly understand what you mean, but i can. I have Multiple Sclerosis and its slowly robbing me of my ability to walk, so whenever i come across stairs, up i go, whether there is a lift or not, for me its the stairs, i may be slow, it may look painful, but while i can still manage the stairs, they are always my first option, why? Because. I. Can....until I really cant anymore.
9
@Bob Tonnor Yeah, it's that when I can't that really keeps me upright.
2
I understand, Todd. Walking is amazing! I broke my back ten years ago and was very nearly paralyzed. During the long, slow weeks of recovery, I marveled at my visitors' ability to....walk. To simply rise from a chair and start walking. As if it were nothing. And I promised myself that if I walked again, I would not take it for granted.
I not only walk now. I run. I run races, and I win. If I'm ever too tired or feeling lazy, I remind myself of the woman lying in the hospital bed, her body and spirit broken. And I haul myself out and run. Not just for me, but for all those who never could, or can't anymore. I carry them with me.
Meantime, you'll be a force in your wheelchair, if it comes to that. I know a fighter when I see one.
34
Certainly helps to have adequate medical care and financial security. Unfortunately a large proportion of those elderly and disabled don't have either, nor relatives willing to sacrifice their own lives.
6
My mother, who refused to get a knee replacement until it was too late, used a walker and refused to use a wheelchair. Her attitude changed drastically when we went to a museum and borrowed one to get around. Suddenly, she didn't have to struggle, could easily go places she couldn't get on her own, and could concentrate on appreciating the exhibits. She still walks most of the time, but when there's a willing "pusher" she enjoys more freedom with the chair. Unless you can't walk at all, it's a useful, part-time tool for specific circumstances. And for exercise, there's swimming, which can be done in some fashion with almost no leg strength. Loss of mobility is terrible. But there are compensations to make it more tolerable.
13
Finish near the top of the 65-69 age group. Sadly. my age group is getting smaller, and it's never been so easy to finish near the top. The plan is to keep it up until there is no keeping. Have always wondered what happens if I have to drop out. For now it's out of the question. I hope it will remain that way in the face of any and all obstacles. Can't remember when I took my first step. But stepping along is all I know.
1
I too , in my eighties, have faced the same challenge and have responded by making "friends" of my rollator,mobile scooters,and electric bike. They have kept me mobile and on the move. Furthermore, I wrote a book, "Keep On Moving! An Old Fellow's Journey Into the World of Rollators, Mobile Scooters, Recumbent Trikes, Adult Trikes, and Electric Bikes" that might be of some use to those who wish to keep on the move despite the aches and pains of old age. Everyday, at age eighty-nine, and despite hip and back surgery, I try to walk at least a half-mile supported by my trusty rollator. We can't let that old rocking chair and tv conquer us!
11
The ability to walk is something most of us take for granted. And yet we are a society reliant on motorized transportation, complain if the walk from the car to the store is farther than we want. For a multitude of reasons, it is time for us to celebrate our ability to walk and bike to places and lessen our dependence on our cars. It would be beneficial for more people to read this article. How valiant this man is and how he makes me thankful for my two good legs.
23
I learned long ago from my cat(s) that when they're hurting, they go 'off-feed'. You feed a cold and starve a fever, because the latter has historically been a serious symptom, indeed.
My own best friend, who can walk only with great pain, is fighting off the wheelchair by fasting. The revolutionary recent discovery by Dr. Valter Longo that fasting induces autophagy, and then sends in the stem cells to rebuild from scratch is the ultimate strategy for body-wide restoration we all must come to appreciate.
To know that fasting has such a profound and wholesale effect on human healing - perhaps the NYTimes can do a study of it?
24
I had to use a little scooter for a while before I had my liver transplant. I was too ill to walk more than around the house. I must say, I loved that scooter. I could race people, and do almost everything I wanted to without becoming too fatigued.
Plus, you get to go to the front of the line at airports.
It was great fun for me during a difficult time.
4
@Susan T I think it was because you knew it was only temporary. Knowing that is for ever takes on different meaning.
4
This is a tough subject for me. Since my teen years (am now mid-60s) I walked not less than 30 miles a week at beaches, hills, parks, etc. in Los Angeles and a lot of places, while maintaining a 60+ hour workweek, with national travel to boot, and an active family life. But my weekend mornings were for my walks. My beautiful, glorious walks, selfishly guarded.
Walking was my mental, emotional, physical exercise and release and time for solitude; thinking freely.
But, alas, you know what I am going to write next. For a variety of medical reasons I am now with cane and on a "good day" can make it around the block twice.
I do not want to graduate to a wheelchair, not yet anyway. I'll hold off as long as I can. But I know one is coming and soon.
So I go to PT twice a week hoping against hope to hold the baseline as long as possible. Like others, I carefully calculate daily what I can do, possibly do, maybe should not do, not going to happen today. Conservation of energy and pain management controls.
Like many others, I don't want to be invisible in a wheelchair. I already know how some people stare at those of us using canes or walkers.
I have learned to accept the inevitable as time passes and health mandates it anyway.
But, like I say -- it's a tough subject.
33
@Paul Young I encourage every body to incline their beds; the health benefits are countless. www.inclinedbedtherapy.com (I'm going on 40 y walking after an SCI, other than cannibas, the inclined ned has been most helpful of everything i've done/tried/used)
1
Very well-written response, my story too.
Grade 5 SAH ruptured aneurysm in 2005 left me with multiple permanent disabilities. Outpatient Lokomat and Lokomotor assisted gait training with Physical Therapist and 5 therapy Aides r taught me to walk independently in 2011 I use my wheelchair in airports and for long distances. A neurologically centered rehab hospital has been my best recovery tool. My therapists carry an 85% neurological caseload. i still attend outpatient therapy as needed and I always will.
8
Certainly disability from childhood is a different circumstance. Nevertheless, perspective can be gained from observing the way that many people raised using "assistive devices" incorporate them...needed but not dominant, necessary but not defining.
Lessons I learned at home.
11
May I ask a question with some self-interest?
If someone in a wheelchair (or seeing one in their future) wanted to buy a house where changes such as accessible bathrooms, smooth floors and doorway widening had already been made, where would they look? Are there places where such listings can be found? The MLS appears to have only "accessible" as a label, without further specification. Are there places where such home listings appear with more detail?
3
@ejb Caseworker at Magee Rehab Riverfront helped me find suitable housing. Magee Legal Clinic for the disabled can help with mortgage and legal guidance. If you are not in Philadelphia try a caseworker at your local rehab Hospital.
1
Be careful- a contractor's idea of what's accessible may be very different from what is actually accessible. Even a low threshold between rooms may require more effort to get over than the person can muster, the bathroom may have bars but is the area big enough to turn the wheelchair to get back out or must the person figure out how to go in reverse.
Easiest and quickest option is to sell the old- time house and go into an independent living apartment, everything will have been done already (wide doorways, bathroom with walk-in shower, grab bars, high toilet with bars, elevators). Next option- remodel your home ONLY if there is room on the first level to put in a ramp, widen the entry door, put in an accessible bathroom. Next option- if there is a family member who is willing to have you come and a yard big enough to build an addition, at your expense, studio-size with a bathroom, small kitchenette if code will allow, place for small fridge and microwave if code will not. When you die or need a higher level of care, they have a nice improvement to their property for their own future use or an added feature for potential home buyers
2
All the efforts and fights to walk are fine untill you can't walk no matter what you do. Then, wheelchairs turn out to have been a great invention.
16
Mr. Balf, it seems as if the fight itself has great value for you.
Carry on until the day when it's lost its assigned value.
Regardless of what, how and when, no one can question your decisions.
13
To all of those saying that Mr. Balf should ignore what others think of him, I say -- you don't know. I was in a walker trying to navigate on one leg for many months and then using a cane for many more -- not nearly as disabled as Matt Balf. People on the street, in stores, on the steps to the train would separate around me and continue their conversation over my head -- as if I weren't even there. It took me a long time to realize that my invisibility to them was a statement about their own fear of disability. I walk unaided now, and even run occasionally. But those months were long and painful and not just in the physical sense.
23
I couldn't be invisible with my cane, because I kept whacking people with it. Oops. Sorry, folks. It was really useful one day, when I got a senior discount on the bus.
1
My two years with a cane made me the target of muggers and purse snatchers. I am now an “incomplete” like the author and dread the inevitable. I don’t care what “people” think of me, but the visibly mobility disabled are targets, and that I care about very much.
6
A wheelchair is just another way to get from point A to point B. For a person with disabilities, like my mom, the walker and wheelchair are critical to enjoying her life. She is 93 and partially blind. In the eight years since dad passed away, mom has taken two European river cruises, numerous trips in the states, and is averaging two cruises a year. The wheelchair and walker is an solution not a problem.
34
Sounds like she is quite wealthy. That helps quite a bit.
6
@Anna Base She isn’t. My mom and dad lived a very frugal life style while raising three kids and serving in the US Army. My parents saved as much as they could and dad made sure mom would be taken of should he pass from the scene. But mom is wealthy with good health and great friends.
Instead of spending so much time ruminating about losing your ability to walk, I'd instead suggest thinking of substituting flying for walking. In your case, flying would be swimming. Focus so intently on your swimming stroke and how to get your body to move through the water as efficiently as possible, that it becomes the main focus of your life and doesn't leave you with a lot of time to think about walking. If somehow your health improves or a new medical technology becomes available in the future, this time won't be wasted as your leg muscles will be in their best possible shape.
8
I don’t think you understand semi-paraplegia. It means the muscles in your legs don’t work, land or sea. It is infuriating to be told I should try swimming.
4
The tale, and the comments will all be passed along to folks I know who are on the cusp of using this particular technology. In the meantime, it reminds me to be grateful for being able to walk unimpeded -- for the present.
I think that Margaret Peterson's suggestion is on target: take the bull by the horns, and prepare by picking out the sharpest, lightest, most maneuverable sport chair. You don't have to give up on walking; you can maybe figure out how the quick moving woman at the Y got so fast. It still requires athleticism, and some muscles in new places.
It's just a tool.
9
Yes Todd Balf, walking is extraordinary in many ways and so keep walking. Try using wheel chair like a walker since you don't like sitting in it. I have done that when there are long walks at some airports and I had leg injury.
6
This is all a testimony to a culture which elevates ambulance over all other bodily states.
Ambulance is good. But it is not all.
7
I have the perspective of the spouse of a man who struggled to walk...although I admired his denial of his limitations and his determination to overcome them, I also considered him selfish in some ways. I, and his children could only stand back and watch in fear of him falling and hurting himself, and yes, sometimes embarrassment as he attempted to do the impossible.
By all means, keep up the hard work, but if you have family, think of them, and consider using a scooter or wheelchair when on family outings...it will make your time together much less fraught with fear, anger, and helplessness.
30
Thanks for this essay on the joys of walking, Todd, and your struggle to regain that most mundane of human movement. Long walks and hikes are a mainstay of my workouts (along with swimming), now that a knee condition prevents me from regular runs. Walking keeps my lower half strong, and at 60, I can still ski and cycle to my heart's content. BTW, we were at UNH together, Todd!
1
Todd, you sound very resilient and strong in every sense, and that bodes very well for your ability to make things work as time goes on. I noticed that you expressed concern a couple of times about what others would think about you, and I respectfully suggest that you not waste much energy on that. I've always found that most people are so wrapped up in their own concerns that they are actually much less judgmental of others than you might expect. Best wishes for a good new year.
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The NYT is very concerned about the unfortunate: poor, disabled, victims of everything from true oppression to other peoples disapproval. And here we read about this guy's vacation on Martha's Vineyard.
Don't the editors realize that for most Americans a vacation on Martha's Vineyard is as remote as a Harvard education (not just financially, but sociologically)? Perhaps everyone they know takes vacations in places like Martha's Vineyard. If so, they are really out of touch with how most Americans live. Idealistic sympathy with the "people" is no substitute for understanding them.
This is the attitude (that of "limousine liberals") that defeated Mrs. Clinton in 2016. I wish this writer the best, and would not trade places with him (were that a choice), but this sort of thing is very off-putting. Perhaps not in the NYT bubble, but to everyone outside it.
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@Jonathan Katz
I think you have a distorted view of Martha's Vineyard, Jonathan. While there are a few $1200/night accommodations, there's also the entire spectrum of hotels/inns, right on down to the inexpensive. Same with eating options. And the stunning nature/wildlife preserves cost a few bucks each to get in to. Vacationing on Martha's Vineyard does not make one "elite", a monster, or both.
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Martha’s Vineyard sounds like a tourist trap to me. But anything with more than a few people leaving a few fast food wrappers laying on the ground bothers me!
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You can take a train / bus to Cape Cod, stay cheap in Hyannis, and take a day trip on a ferry to Martha's Vineyard. My income after taxes is about $33,000 a year, and it was even less the year my friends and I went to Cape Cod (2005). I think that was my last real vacation; it was wonderful.
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I'm so sorry to learn about your health issues and dilemma. I wish you well and that you'll triumph over them.
You might want to investigate the Egoscue method. (www.egoscue.com). It may not solve everything, but it is a powerful method of controlling pain and maintaining mobility. In fact, its goal is to keep you active by correcting posture alignment.
The exercises are relatively simple but remarkably effective.
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Todd: I love the way you are driven to keep on walking.
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Thank you Todd! You are an inspiration.
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Roger Sperry, 1981 Nobel Prize laureate for Physiology or Medicine, was a notable brain researcher who advanced our understanding of how the brain works. Dr. Sperry claimed that greater than 80% of our brain's activity goes to "just keeping us upright in gravity."
Human balancing on our remarkably small pedal base is unique in the animal kingdom and a reflection of our superior mental capacity. Not everyone achieves ambulation in the same way, but the ability of our brains to adapt to necessary changes to accomplish it demonstrates walking is primarily a mental function.
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Yes, it is a mental thing, friend. Scientifically. It certainly doesn’t feel like that to me when my muscles don’t work. Generally, humans can only understand when confronted with the situation.
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@TLL
Greetings friend,
Thank you for your kind correction of my earlier post. It was written from the article's perspective that the neurophysiological components for walking were functional. For those many which this is not the case, then a different perspective would be necessary. Having grown up with a wheelchair bound aunt, and associated with many more non-ambulating friends, I understand that the mind cannot always overcome our physicality. Being 76 years old is a daily reminder of forced limitations. But, I'm encouraged by the likes of Indian sage, Sri Aurobindo, who tells us "We are consciousness, not life and form." Upon first reading this wisdom, my mind went back to my childhood aunt, the happiest person I had ever experienced. Cheers and best wishes to you for a joyous and prosperous new year.
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Have you checked out the Alinker? You can sit and keep walking at the same time. It's a life changer for people who want to keep moving.
Wonderful essay - so honest.
I was coping with a life-threatening respiratory illness some years ago, and as the disease progressed and decreased my lung function dramatically, walking became a challenge. A wonderful nurse educated me at one point that coping with my illness involved managing my energy, and that I should dedicate my energy to the precocious things I loved the most in life, and get assistance with the other stuff. It would be easy to take that as an argument for using a chair, and I did when in the hospital for appointments. But as I reflected on that piece of wisdom, I realized that walking was one of the precious things, and well worth the dedication of my energy. When I got my lung transplant, it was a blessing that I had kept my legs strong in terms of recovery.
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Keep going.
Mine's not as serious, but I broke both legs at 63 in an auto accident. After surgery and weeks on my back waiting for my bones to heal I was discharged in a wheelchair to go home begin outpatient physical therapy, to regain my balance and learn to walk again. I lived in a 3-floor townhouse. My kids fussed the whole time in the med transportation vehicle; how was I going to make it up the stairs? What did I think I was doing? All I needed was to get in on the bottom stair. I pushed backwards, scooted, rolled, whatever I needed not only up the stairs but across the floor to get to the couch. I sent both of them home that day knowing I could fend for myself. I did outpatient P.T. 5 days a week and walked on other for strength. I recovered and went back to work unassisted.
Five years later, I'm still paying for the accident; my knees have started tightening up from arthritis. Some days they ache so much I can barely get out of bed. Despite that, most mornings you'll see me in the supermarket parking lot, walking 50 mins minimum. Once I loosen up and get going, I keep going.
It rained so much the last 2 days there raindrops still hanging off the trees. I love it. Being out, fresh air, observing nature is wonderful. I'm trying to stay off assistive devices as long as I can. I was relieved when the doctor told me the aching was "just" arthritis. I can live with that.
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To walk is to live. As any stroke survivor can tell you. I know, as I'm one.
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Sunaura Taylor is a painter, writer and activist who has to use a wheelchair. It hasn't stopped her from being very active and very successful.
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Many years ago, I read a book (Perhaps _Karen_ by Killilea) in which a young girl at some point had to decide whether to choose walking or wheelchair. Apparently, the wheelchair would mean she'd never walk. She chose the wheelchair, because it gave her a wider world to see.
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You are not just walking, but running ahead of the pack with your mind. Boy, I am half out of breath simply following you on your journey of self discovery. Please keep discovering new ways to walk. Not because humans who walk think better, but simply because your way of thinking might give way to innovations for tomorrow. Why do they not design better support implements for unsteady walkers? Every cane I try to pick for our elderly parents comes with a laundry list of terrible defects. Surely folks who design fabulous prosthetics, segways, electric cars etc. can come up with a cool device. Maybe wheel chairs with monster wheels. Then your eyes would be at the right height instead of staring at various widths of bums and crotches :-)).
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I suspect the first of our ancestors to walk on two legs instead of four was a woman, who realized it was a great way to carry an infant or tired child and still keep pace with her tribe.
As far as I know, we are still the only mammals to tote and carry, a chore still done primarily by the females of our species.
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The article is interesting, but I’ll admit I was more eager to get to the readers’ comments, as I knew that this topic would resonate with others struggling with similar, life changing accidents, diagnoses and/or surgical outcomes, and prompt them to write in. I am ALWAYS hoping I will somehow cross paths with others like me, but after more than 8 years, hope runs thin.
Medical doctors take an oath to do no harm. My surgeon was careless with me, and permanently damaged the femoral nerve that allows bipedal perambulation. I have been irreparably harmed, and am, like others here, forced to make the daily calculations about endurance and pain that others have alluded to, and for which we are judged by the (temporarily) able bodied. I, too, must take the stairs one step at a time, never carrying anything upstairs or down. Running, swimming, hiking, dancing, jogging, skipping, horseback riding, jumping, squatting, kneeling, and lifting and carrying are all now just a memory I revisit only in dreams. I feel assaulted daily by the cult of fitness.
I have learned that my injury, at the hands of a licensed professional, is actually an opportunity for that surgeon to learn from his mistakes. Financially, I would have been better off to been injured by a drunk driver who took no oath to first do no harm, than to have been treated by a negligent surgeon.
Is there ANYONE out there who, like me, had an “unexpected outcome” after a routine hip replacement?
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A friend of mine was also disabled by her hip operation. She drives a lot more than I do and never leaves her handicapped parking hangtag at home.
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Warren Schlosser just completed a 159 day, 5,200 kilometer wheelchair journey from Calgary to Mazatlan. Congratulations to you sir, you are an inspiration. And thanks to the author of this piece and good luck to him. At 69 and super-healthy, I know how fortunate I am to be able to keep up with the 20K steps of my daily walking routines. But it is comforting to know that if and when the averages catch up with me that there is still hope in life.
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My MS put me in a wheelchair 6 years ago. It's been a struggle I still cannot fully accept. I cling to hope that someday I will walk again. Hope is very important. Not being able to do so much of what I love is very hard, but the worst part of being in a chair is not having people acknowledge you. Most look to the standing person I am with and ask them the questions that should be directed at me as if I am not there. "Does she want...?"
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@Marian
Hi Marian, I’m also an MS person who uses chair and mobility cart at times. That’s what I really notice too, when you’re not at the same physical level as other people they usually ignore you. Really noticed it at a high school re-union where people mostly stood and socialized. It’s a subtle loss but yet another reason folks avoid using a chair.
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@Marian
My experience is from the companion chair pusher's point of view. I got very tired of saying, "Why don't you ask her?" In the last years of her life Mother had an electric cart with a seat that could be elevated when stationary. It got her up to where eye to eye contact was natural. It worked great for her because a lot of her socializing was in the main building of the CCRC wherre she lived. Her apartment was in that building.
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@ Carol Goldstein: that piece of technology that you mentioned, the elevation seat contained on a doodlebug or whatever you call those little mobility chairs sounds like a great idea.
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As a child, I variously used a wheelchair or crutches because of polio as a baby. My brothers would hang on the chair for a free ride, and I could tote all kinds of toys. As an adult, I've used a chair intermittently post-surgeries, and now at work mostly use a cane for balance. Chairs -especially light, folding chairs - are great! Also, here's a tip: ALWAYS say "yes" at the airport when asked if you want a chair. Trust me. You do. You'll never miss a flight again trying to hustle down to your gate.
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I walk with two prosthetic legs, but cycling is my go to activity. I've cycled over 5,000 miles in the last few years. Even NYC is an awesome place to cycle. It makes me feel "normal". I spent 30 years in a wheelchair and went to the gym to keep my body somewhat in shape. I was very good at exercising at the track in my wheelchair. I have great arms that are very useful for kayaking, which is my other sport. Using a wheelchair is my second favorite way to tour a city. I feel safer self propelling in the city of NY in a chair, rather than walking slowly and carefully on my legs. Get a good chair, and make friends with it. It's my freedom vehicle, on days I can not walk.
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Thanks Todd for sharing this. Walking is top of mind for me too. I'm 66 and have been battling sensory peripheral neuropathy for twenty years. I've spent the last ten years working with personal trainers to maintain the strength in my legs but this is a battle I'm slowly losing. I fell (while participating in a strong stability class) last April and broke my left leg. After three months in a wheel chair I was finally back on two feet with just my cane when I fell and bruised my hip so I've been on my walker for the past month. My goal now is to walk again with just my cane. I can totally relate to your feelings about a wheel chair, and I'll put it off as long as I can too.
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This well written essay is excelant. And reminds me of my late Uncle who was wounded severely in WW!!; and fought wonderfully when he had to use a wheelchair. I was a teen-ager at the time when he was struggling to go without it. He was successful for many weeks at a time. How much I learned from that man.
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Yes, my mother was reduced to tears by her need for a walker. It was pride, and that is important.
So was not breaking her hip again.
It is all painful, emotional pain that is very real.
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I have been studying the role of nervous systems in locomotion for more than 50 years.
Long ago I realized how complex the steps are from rolling over to crawling to walking and then running is for bipeds such as humans.
We are not the only bipeds. Most birds walk on two legs and an ostrich can outrun most animals with the notable exception of a cheetah. Interesting that some birds have given up their prinicipal mode of locomotion which is flying for walking. It would even be handier if they had hands like we and other primates.
People forget that our upper limbs are the evolutionary gift of upright bipedal locomotion and that using a wheelchair is a wonderful asset (uniquely human invention) that allows much of our primary motor skills that can be used to maintain the dignity of independence. Not everyone is born to be a ballerina or acrobat. Take advantage of the real gift that nature has given us which is the ability to do more than one thing with our remarkable nervous systems. Darwin emphasized this for life in general by focusing on the role of 'adaptation' to meet the novel and unexpected exigencies of the world (eg. global warming). That's one of the many lessons I have learned by studying what an effective use of our nervous system can give us if we can recognize it.
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@Jon
" Not everyone is born to be a ballerina or acrobat. "
There is a big difference between not be a ballerina or an acrobat and being unable to walk, or having great difficulty walking.
You have trivialized disability.
"Take advantage of the real gift that nature has given us which is the ability to do more than one thing with our remarkable nervous systems. "
I'd consider being able to walk to be a real gift of nature.
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There are millions of us, and as the population grows older, many more will join us. I wonder why with all the computer technology, someone. can develop some sort of support for the lower body that mechanically moves the legs to walk. I have become interested in children's toys that "walk". It may not come soon enough for me, but it is bound to be available for you.
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@S B Tyger and all:
Have a look at the Alinker: https://www.thealinker.com/
This "walking bike" is not inexpensive, and it's not (yet) covered by insurance. I suggest exploring the whole website and watching the little videos. I discovered it through the TreeHugger blog.
"Wheelchair-bound" or "Confined to a Wheelchair" are not only offensive and inappropriate, they are misnomers! My wheelchair gives me freedom. Without the wheelchair I would be stuck in a room. I had a spinal cord injury caused by a rare autoimmune neurological disorder, transverse myelitis, 7 years ago. I walk as much as I can using a variety of assistive devices, including a manual wheelchair. (I am most happy to be able to walk at all since I was paralyzed waist-down.) I am grateful for the ADA and that more and more places are accessible, and we are out in the public on our wheelchairs, living full lives!
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@Mauree What about "uses a wheelchair"? Is that okay? As I get older, it's hard to keep up.
(I expect to be in a wheelchair before I die; arthritis varies but doesn't seem to go away.)
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@Mauree
I was so relieved to get an electric scooter so that I wouldn’t be constantly worried about falling. Yes, of course, I would rather walk but I am so thankful to have the use of my scooter.
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@Bonita Kale
Yes. "Uses a wheelchair", "On a wheelchair" and "In a wheelchair" are all considered appropriate and inoffensive in "people-first" language. Wheelchairs today range from high-tech sports chairs to fancy power ones. There are many choices.
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Thank You for sharing your story with us.
I appreciate so much the opportunity to understand your experience.
Happy Holidays and best wishes to you.
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Thank you for sharing.
I am not using a wheelchair yet, but I know it will come eventually. I don't use any aids for short distances or around the house, but I love my cane and rollator for errands or events that will require more time on my feet. Saving some energy and reducing my pain on the mundane stuff helps me keep it for the good stuff. I have small kids to try to keep up with, so any energy I can hold onto is essential!
I have rheumatoid arthritis, primarily in my feet, knees, hips, and lower and mid back. Perhaps it's because I work in disability advocacy and I see what happens when people try to "push through" the pain and end up hurting themselves more, but... I have zero qualms about using the aids that are available to me.
That said, quality matters. The rollator I have now is a hand-me-down and is a bit more industrial than I would like. It doesn't transport well. I don't need it enough yet to justify the expense of getting a new one, but I did some research and asked other people with mobility impairments, and it's all picked out.
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@Claire A couple of weeks ago I bought a Drive Medical RTL Nitro Euro Style Walker Rollator for $200 on Amazon. It came fully assembled. Weighs 17 lbs. and folds up easily. I love it. Now I can take a walk around my community. People stop me and want to know all about it. It is great for using outdoors since it has 10" wheels. Looks more like a scooter than a walker. Highly recommend it. Hopefully, it will keep me up and about for a long time to come. (I spent three years in a wheelchair recovering from an accident.)
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As a post polio, it has taken decades to accept that assistive devices are our friends, not our enemies.
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@AW A friend who had polio as a child used crutches until increasing disability caused him to switch to a chair, then eventually a powered chair. The powered chair gave him more mobility and freedom than he had had for years.
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Post polio. You should be speaking to those wack job anti vaxxers that think vaccines are a bad thing.
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I had a spinal cord injury over fifty years ago, left with various muscle weaknesses in hips and below.
Although for many years I "passed" as normal (slow walking, no jumping, hopping, running, water-skiing), everything has gradually gotten worse (weak muscles and compensating ones), plus joints going (6 ortho surgeries since 2012) I now am VERY slow, poor balance and always use at least one crutch.
Of course I have been able to adapt gradually, but now I welcome wheelchairs sometimes.Airports were the first place and boy do they whiz me through everything; I've had people react to my then walking onto the plane with crutch and railing as though I'm cheating.
My point: it's not either/or --sometimes wheelchair, sometimes one crutch, sometimes two, but it's my choice consistent with my figuring out what I want to do and how best to do it. At times when I am in two-crutch mode, creeping along, we carry a transport wheelchair in the trunk of the car and it is reassuring, whether or not I use it.
It certainly is likely that if I live as long as my parents did, I will be almost exclusively in a wheelchair, but hopefully I will still be able to get to the bathroom at night on crutches!
I wish you fortitude in figuring out what is best for you, day by day and minute by minute.
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Such a complicated issue. My son has an invisible disability - he lives with severe chronic pain. I wonder if the author would feel differently about using pain medication to help him cope - something no one can see - than he does about an aid that's visible. I suspect so.
But the anger of living with pain is just as real - you're losing your life and changing your identity and WHY WHY WHY?!
Most people in chronic pain have to deal with the rehab part of it if they want to take back their life. Meditation, exercise, diet, mental discipline - that's most of what works. If pain meds actually worked for everyone the pain wouldn't be chronic and lifechanging.
At least for my son, throwing himself into rehab makes him feel in control and active. Maybe like that act of rebellion the author describes? Meds don't - and people are often angry at having to take them. But boy he'd use them if they worked.
So I agree with the commenter below. Get that sport wheelchair - they're pretty awesome. Fly in it. Build that body and - more importantly - that life. Whatever it takes you to hold on and keep going.
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Thank you for sharing your story, Todd.
People see 'disability' as failure: physical failure, and moral failure. To be disabled is to be seen as 'giving up' on the struggle to stand, and to walk.
Disability frightens us because at some level we all know how fragile our bodies are.
I know about this....because I was diagnosed with profound nerve damage in my legs, over 10 years ago. My Immune System attacks the nerves in many parts of my body, but my legs are the most severely damaged.
For years I struggled to walk, which was harder and harder, and to avoid falling due to 'foot drop' which meant my feet didn't clear curbs and obstacles. In addition, the nerves in my feet and legs send 'garbled' messages, which make walking even scarier. I would suddenly veer sideways (ataxia) or my feet would involuntarily cross. Very scary.
"Finally' I started wearing braces, which were a blessing! I could walk much faster. But I knew I would never hike, dance, run, ride a bike, ski, run up the stairs ever again. Acceptance has been very painful for me.
But alas, even braces weren't enough. Now I use a walker, because I can move so much faster. And the stress on my back is relieved. Back spasms are no fun at all.
But I know people see me as 'less' and as 'weak'. I exercise in the gym and in the pool. My muscles are very strong, by my nerves will never be repaired. And so every movement I make is a struggle.
I am grateful for my walker.
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@elained - I used work out at the Duke Fitness Center in Durham, NC. They offered cardiac & respiratory PT fitness programs in the same gym space. Also folks from the Duke weight loss center for obesity worked out there. I was slim, middle aged, a former dancer, in pretty good shape. I loved going to the DFC because the folks in these special programs, who had to fight for every bit of progress they made, were inspirational. They never gave up; they quietly tried their best to do their best, and they became my heroes. It was an honor and a privilege to witness their determination. I learned a lot from them. Please don't assume that people see you as less or weak. You may be very wrong, indeed.
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“What makes humans unique? I believe that what makes us unique is transcending our limits.”
Whenever I see and hear Hawking, my spirits fly. I bet you have already inspired many others in much the same way.
Thank you for everything, and merry merry merry holidays to you and your family.
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@Dr. Stephen Hawking I read Hawking while recovering from a spinal infection and surgery and gave "A Brief History of Time" to the neurosurgeon who saved my life as well as commending him formally. Stephen Hawking was a unique and inspirational individual--so is his wife.
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Thank you for discussing disability as we are sad my 45 year old son will be in the hospital over the holidays, the fallout from congenital urinary tract and kidney dysfunction. He managed to be the father of 3, and can, at times work from home, but this was the first time I heard him say, he was hoping for one more year of work and then disability. He may have to have machines overtake some functions. That this is possible for him and not other people is a new source of hope, just like the use of the wheelchair, hearing aids and other devices. Thank you again. We remember those many people with disability and we hope for a government that provides support.
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Thank you for this -- I applaud the author, and the Times, for a different take on the world. We all face unique obstacles, and few of us are able to articulate the ability to deal with them standing, sitting, or otherwise bracing ourselves for day to day existence.
I have a cousin, my age of 71 now, who has had a 'dysfunctional' left arm and leg since childhood, likely due to polio (back then, such things were never spoken out loud). He played a horn in the school orchestra, bowled successfully, and worked a hard job all of his life. Nothing stopped him.
In this Age of Impeachment -- it's healthy to reflect on the personal things that have universal appeal. Thank you, Mr Balf.
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