It is a bit ironic that Ms. Hill is the first person that was caught in the crossfire of a new post MeToo movement law designed to prevent congress persons from taking advantage of their staff. Even though she does not deny or admit guilt here, that was the charge for which Congress was investigating her when she abruptly resigned.
As someone who has donated to the MeToo movement and believe in its power to help correct the 25% of women and 16% of men who have been victims, we need to understand that both Men and Women are to be held responsible for their MeToo ethical breaches.
So, just because Ms. Hill is a women does not absolve her of practicing her professional life in accordance with MeToo standards. This does mean that one should not have sexual affairs with subordinates, as she does openly admit to doing this with a campaign female staffer (shame on you Ms. Hill) and is alleged to have done it with a congressional male staffer which she does not deny.
7
I am sorry you left the office you were elected to. I wish our President would have the honor you had and resign immediately.
47
Can I, a white, older male, also be in the "we" who will not be broken? I don't need to see the sex photos to affirm your right to a private sex life. I detest the easily-flaired, self-righteous scorn so rife in our times. I sympathize with your public plight and am proud of your standing in red to say you aren't done. I hope not. We need you and people like you.
We aren't done.
It is because we can't enjoy an erotic life that we end up enduring a neurotic one. Decent representatives doing good work, such as yourself and others, fall to hyped accusations for private matters and meager mistakes, taking all their efforts, abilities, and our hopes down with them. Meanwhile, stubbornly ignorant, relentlessly arrogant representatives inflict their cruel world-view on Americans and the world, yet are ensconced partly because they haven't had their sex lives exposed.
I'm glad you lived through this hard time of your life, Katie. You've served beyond your office, and I hope that continues, be it in popular culture or back in office.
48
The US has a disease; It's called Puritanism. It's a twisted form of religion that infects our politics.
Get Over It, America.
49
Melania Trump willingly posed for nude photos and proudly made them available for public consumption. She never ran for office, has little to no higher education, served no public cause, came to this country under suspect circumstances, grew up to be a gold digger and now lives off the public trough as First Lady of the United States.
Curious why willingly putting out your nude photos ala Melanie or Kim Kardasian is dandy and adored but revenge porn causes so much havoc. I guess it’s all in the power of the motive. Katie, you had no reason to resign or leave in shame. There were plenty of us that supported you. You were simply the victim of yet another little man and gave him too much power. Take back your life; take back your power. Your only mistake was in your youth and inexperience...Stand tall girl. You have nothing to be ashamed of. That seat was yours. Put your armor on, go back and get it, proudly!
And if you need role models, look no further than Hillary Clinton, Nancy Pelosi, Michelle Obama, Professor Karlan, Ambassador Marie Yovanovitch, Advisor Fiona Hill, Anita Hill, Christine Ford and so many other amazing women. Add your name to the list.
67
"She told me I didn’t have to do this, that the country needed me and that she wished I hadn’t made this decision". Pelosi: right again.
63
This is the courage we need in Congress.
37
So glad to have read this. Looking forward tp seeing you fight in the future. God Bless!
26
Time for legislation to step up!
- No nudes allowed: if you are or work for a news organisation/internet platform, you are not allowed to publish any nudes/candids without consent of all of the depicted, no matter how you obtained the content.
- No (private) social media content & esp. no adult media content can be used for the purpose of job interviews/college admissions/hiring or as a reason to fire somebody.
So if there are a few or a few million nude pictures or adult media content out there: *Nobody*, not private persons, not companies or government orgs, is allowed to use them, publish them, monetize them, exploit them in any way without explicit consent of the depicted.
So if you are a school teacher, a congresswomen, a police officer, a President and there are pictures and videos out there? - Just keep on doing what you're doing, nobody is *allowed* to care.
- There shall be (rare) exceptions if the media content is evidence of crimes.
- Internet platforms must provide an easy way to ask permission to use your content. If anybody links to an image, you receive a notification where you can allow or deny the right to use it, including an easy option to receive a financial compensation (fixed or %) on all profits made using your content.
- Make it easier to permanently remove content from social media platforms.
HARSH financial & legal penalties for anybody who violates the rules.
Everybody has a right to his/her privacy, especial people in the public eye.
28
I find interesting the comments, well meaning I am sure, intended to console with phases such as, “we all make mistakes...” and then commentators offering forgiveness. IMHO Katie’s alternative life, bisexuality, and being naked with someone she cares about, are not mistakes, but they’re type of choices that are nobody’s business but Katie’s.
The politicians that consistently mislead the American people, resulting in horrors such as, sending troops to war on false claims, taking NRA money rather protecting Americans..... hold there jobs, but pictures of a politician being human is detrimental. God help us!
40
Katie wishing you profound healing...your decision, your speech and this Op Ed show so much honesty and fortitude. Wishing you deep blessing and that you find the right next vehicle for your courageous voice!
24
Whats incomprehensible to me is that the same people who complain about the Peloton ad are defending Katie Hill. What does she represent other than the same clueless privilege?
13
I am so sorry you had to go through this, Katie. Thank you for your service to our country.
18
Tearfully…
The public spotlight is brutal these days.
High-tech, anonymous stoning is the order of the day.
Even in real-world stoning you have to show up in person where people can see you!
I don't recall all the facts in the case - but whatever they may be, the photos and bile thrown at Ms. Hill are just plain indecent behavior.
Cowards at their keyboards.
They are the ones who we should force to cower… in shame.
Ms. Hill will be a positive presence in this world.
A person with many more years to be an inspiration and example of good works.
18
Maybe Hill resigned in order to protect a lover (and herself too) from the investigation.
15
Why quit?
Why did Al Franken quit?
Stop it.
Can we fight on.
20
She should have never stepped down that's one of the reasons so many have left the Dems. Do you think any of the Reeps would ever leave under any circumstances? Plus she did nothing wrong.
13
Katie,
I admired you from the first time I saw you speak at a small gathering in Southern California. You were the antidote to the stale oppressive patriarchy with your fresh approach, progressive ideas and charitable heart. I knocked on doors for you in Santa Clarita and engaged with your constituents who did not need much convincing to turn their voting gaze away from your opponent. You were just what everyone needed and it was thrilling to be on your team.
I wish you'd stayed in. The world knew you were being played. I wish you'd just stepped back for a bit and practiced some self-care to get through a news cycle or two and it would have blown over. You could have emerged resilient and strong and from your elected position been an effective ally for people trying to survive abusive partners. Your ex had already launched your re-branding campaign with his cowardly defamation. That was not your choice, however, and I respect that you made the tough decision you felt was best. Thank you for writing this piece.
I hope I get to knock on doors again for you, Katie. What has happened to you this past year is only going to make you stronger and smarter in the end - an even better public servant. Please wade back in. You've got work to do.
20
Katie: Thanks for sharing your story and most intimate feelings.
You have the courage to keep up the fight. Many women have gone through what you have been through yet in a more private way, due to the time, the technology and the media. They, too , have felt the humiliation and the aloneness. As you go on your journey, please know that there are many of us who are proud of you; who have faith in you; and who wait for your return. I wish you luck in your lawsuit. BUt more I wish you luck and will continue to follow your future. Hang in there, Katie, many people love you. You are and inspiration. You are a leader.
15
So I suppose I won't pass the purity test of not seeing the photos, the nudes and the clothed , the latter showing her kissing the staffer while looking into the camera ( let's not forget that this is why she resigned , for having an affair with the staffer). So , at least for those photos, she was well aware that they were being taken. To pretend otherwise is really stretching it.
As far as the thoughts that many have posted here, that they have photos in compromising positions that would be harmful if brought to light - all well and good, but it's also critical to realize that any digital content has a shelf life of eternity. Photos, emails, texts , social media content, etc. Even if you trust everyone who has your photos , and are convinced that nothing will ever change - what if a device gets hacked? Maybe the "everyone does it" argument needs to be re-examined.
So yes, it's awful that her privacy was invaded, but the hard reality of our digital life is that this is our world now. It's what parents hopefully instill in their children , to not post anything on social media that could come back to bite them down the road. I know I'm in the minority here, but feels to me like Ms. Hill is fully playing the victim card, in order to use it for a comeback in the future.
29
@OneNerd
I came of age in the era of sex, drugs and rock-n-roll, arguably a better venue than today's era of sex, drugs and social media. We did have ourselves some times, back in the day ! But there was always an appreciation
for some basic level of sexual modesty that seems to
have totally flown the coop these days. Photos simply didn't happen. We might have been wild, but we liked our privacy as well. That was a no-brainer for us.
And I have to agree, Ms. Hill must have been aware of at least some of the photos being taken. The three possibilities were : using a selfie stick, hidden cameras, or a third party in the room. One commenter stated that the pictures were posted on a 'swinger' site and that is where they were found by the media. If true, that would explain their origin and intent.
Back to rock-n-roll days for me. We did (and still do) have the best music, also, too. Ms. Hill might enjoy listening to some Janis Joplin or Gracie Slick to ease
her angst.
10
@OneNerd
I too am impure, I saw the photos. There is no way she didn't know they were being taken. I understand that people make mistakes in their formative years, but she was a woman in her 30's running for public office. I personally want someone with better judgement representing me.
18
Well said, Ms. Hill. With your strength, clarity and vision, you will rise again. As hard as this has been, it raises your already powerful voice to a higher pitch, adding tremendous depth and experience about what this country needs in these perilous times. Bravo for your courage and honesty. Don't ever give up the fight!!
9
Wow. What a courageous, honest, vivid portrait. I hadn't known much about you when you were in office. But everything you've written here makes me wish that I had. Your article expresses just the kind of poise, self-reflection and courage that is sadly lacking in government today. If you should decide to go back into office, there would be many who would want you back. I know that I would.
11
I guess I still don't understand why she did not stay in Congress. We women have to learn to stay in the fight. All the way in. I hesitate to write this, but its how I feel. We need brave, smart, and motivated women out there and up there in Congress. She fought hard to get there and I would have loved to see her fight to stay. Madam Speaker urged her to stay. No one expected her to go. I can well understand that she was depressed. Emotions come and go. I wish she would have waited on resigning until that feeling passed.
19
Ms. Hill, I feel it is an honor just to be alive on this planet at the same time as such outstanding individuals as yourself. You are at once an inspiration to your fellow fighters of the good fight, and anathema to those who have chosen to be part of the problem.
It is said that when one door closes, another is opened. I'm confident that you will walk boldly through it into the future, head held high, armed with righteousness and hardened by fire. No podium will ever intimidate you again.
17
It seems that Ms Hill is still in the fight because her husband hasn’t done what she says he threatened to do and what she says he could do: ruin her. He allegedly published some pictures of her naked but he can’t ruin her by doing that. She may be embarrassed by it. But her reputation can survive that. There must be something else that he knows that would be much more damaging if disclosed and that she hoped to keep covered up by quitting. So it seems to me that if she wants to make a comeback and stay in the fight she needs to disclose what that is and apologize for it or otherwise make amends. If she can’t do that she should just go away. Young women don’t need her as a role model.
11
As a Man on the back nine of life with daughters your age I admit Women are not treated they same as men in our Society.
The Person that released those photos will carry that stain for the rest of his or her life. I do believe you will be back. The American people for the most part are forgiving. sometimes it take longer. Your Strength is an inspiration to many young women out there who can relate to the pain you and your family went through. May the Force always be with you.
11
Katie Hill plays the martyr after a brief rehearsal. Making the story about privacy not behavior is the expected ruse of the Left. For Katie and her ilk, it is never about behavior it is about the speech at the podium, the place of exaltation, the place for misdirection and the steady stream of polemics from the playbook. Craving the limelight again and foolishly believing she has a fan base, Ms. Hill clamors for attention from the compliant media, all too willing to sweep her discretions under the rug and proclaim, “nothing to see here,” like they did initially, defaming the accuser.
Vanity knows no excess but for Ms. Hill it is over. She has been rendered irrelevant. The curtain has come down on this sad actress.
36
@Grant Trump plays the martyr after a long rehearsal. Making the story about privacy not behavior is the expected ruse of the Right. For Trump and his ilk, it is never about behavior it is about the speech at the podium, the place of exaltation, the place for misdirection and the steady stream of polemics from the playbook. Craving the limelight and foolishly stoking his fan base, Mr. Trump clamors for attention from the compliant media, all too willing to sweep his discretions under the rug and proclaim, “nothing to see here,” like they did initially, defaming the accusers.
Vanity knows no excess but for Mr. Trump, but it is far from over. He has been rendered irrelevant, but the curtain has yet to come down on this sad actor.
See how easy that was......
13
@Grant Trump plays the martyr after a long rehearsal. Making the story about privacy not behavior is the expected ruse of the Right. For Trump and his ilk, it is never about behavior it is about the speech at the podium, the place of exaltation, the place for misdirection and the steady stream of polemics from the playbook. Craving the limelight and foolishly stoking his fan base, Mr. Trump clamors for attention from the compliant media, all too willing to sweep his discretions under the rug and proclaim, “nothing to see here,” like they did initially, defaming the accusers.
Vanity knows no excess but for Mr. Trump, but it is far from over. He has been rendered irrelevant, but the curtain has yet to come down on this sad actor.
See how easy that was......
3
Katie, Thank you for your bravery.
14
Ms. Hill, we all make mistakes, but unlike many people, you stepped up and accepted yours and the consequences. Stay strong and know you have support.
13
It was extremely disappointing watching your career tumble so quickly. I don't think you should have resigned. I think you should have receded into the background for awhile and let the story just fade into yesterday's news.
You came into focus as a new Congress woman early, with your bright and eager and smart approach, working alongside the other exciting new members like AOC, Pressley and others.
I'm a voter in my 70's and I saw you and so many of the new female winners of the 2018 races as a revitalzation of what Congress could and would become. Your youth, your determination and your bravado was refreshing.
And you stood out as one of the most prominent for voters like me who re-elect old stalwarts like Danny Davis, who just get re-elected and re-elected and offer the constituents not very much beyond the same old same old.
Your new energy, by contrast, was exciting. You represented a refreshing look into the next step for Congress bringing your talent and the validity of all that that new energy represented to a stale body of legislators.
And then to be brought down over the photos and the rumors was yet another blow to my faith in Congress. Unforgivable in every sense.
Fare well, Congresswoman Hill. I hope you reconsider and get back in some contest again. California needs you and our Congress needs you.
11
Thank you for sharing your story, Katie. You are brave. You are respected. You will come back stronger than ever. I believe in you.
10
Who ever post photos of people they supposedly loved, with the intent to destroy, is the real scoundrel. The photos came from Hill’s abusive ex-husband, he ultimately is responsible. People should not use the internet as a weapon against their former loves. And the rest of us should not spread the violence when it comes our way. Katie Hill is the real hero. I will vote for her any day.
9
Katie,
It is not often I shed tears while reading a column in the New York Times, but I did while reading yours. Thank you for shining YOUR light into the darkness, onto the evil that has been turned loose in our world. In this same issue of the Times, we get to read about the new ways in which young people are being sexually abused while playing online video games, often facing the threat of "revenge porn" themselves. You have and will do so much good in our country. And you are only just getting started.
I am very sorry for what has happened to you, for the many ways you have been abused and shamed, but I am also moved by your incredible courage. Every encouraging word you have heard from family, friends, constituents, and colleagues is true. Every evil thing done to you reflects right back on those who have tried to hurt, abuse, or discourage you. Their reward may not be swift, but it will be what they deserve in the end.
March on!
7
I’m so sorry you are going through this. It is unfair and should be illegal. Please stop worrying over how many people may have seen your naked body. Everybody has one. That it is oddly taboo in our culture doesn’t make it your shame.
7
I wish you hadn’t resigned. Run again.
11
Thank you Katie for not pressing the knife harder. We are all better for you staying in the fight.
8
Talk about double-standards! For Melania it’s okay. Maybe because the nude photos of her were meant for public consumption or, worse, because no one in the Trump family has any sense of shame.
15
It’s a strange world that demands a victim of revenge porn to resign from their job. How pure the members of Congress must be.
13
We have all lost a wonderfully smart and necessary representative in Congress and yet the monster in the White House, a serial liar, an admitted sexual predator, a bigot and a racist remains the president. Thank you Katie Hill for staying in the fight.
11
What is it about liberals that makes them so weak? Al Franken stepped down from the Senate after ridiculous charges had been made that could never have been substantiated in a Senate hearing. If he were in Congress now he would be running for president and would be one of the leading contenders. But instead he is an anonymous loser living in obscurity in Minnesota with vague charges still following his reputation around because he never chose to fight them.
Katie Hill was slut shamed with naked pictures distributed by an angry and unbalanced ex boyfriend. She resigned without resisting and allowed those pictures to assume a force that they did not deserve. A real politician would have run on the issue and used it to energize her base and her district and might have been able to write laws protecting other women from this kind of attack. But now she is a powerless ghost who can do nothing but whine about what could have been and her seat may go to a Republican.
Both of these people were elected by strong majorities and they were the choice of people who wanted representation, who wanted someone to fight for them. But in each case these constituents were forgotten in a haze of embarrassment as their standard bearers withdrew from the field and allowed their enemies to gain more ground. Really, what is the point of voting for a Democrat if all it takes is a little controversy or embarrassment to make them go home and hide in the basement? One never sees a Republican do this.
13
Katie,
Run again. I bet you get re-elected.
6
I didn’t look at the photos & did not seek them out, I am sure most decent people did not.
I’m glad you are still alive and fighting for beneficial change. I’m glad you are brave and courageous. You are young and your efforts are needed and appreciated and it is ok if you need to rest first. You have survived domestic abuse and that’s a very significant thing.
15
Wow! Katie Hill is an impressive young woman. It seems she has emerged from this terrible situation strong and just as determined to make a difference.
The country needs her and her voice. She will continue to be a role model for girls and the kind of leader we need. I look forward hearing more from her in the future.
7
Thank you for a powerfully written essay.
Thank you also for your courage and fighting spirit!
8
You are brave and your life is not over! Something really good is about to happen to you because of the way that you have dealt with this unfair and horrible situation. I got thrown out of Yale University grad school in painting in 1973 in a completely unfair situation. The faculty at UC, San Diego reopened admissions for me and took me in- This was the place I needed to be and I have gone on to much greater success than Yale would have provided. However, when it happened I felt lost- like I had been thrown out of heaven. But it was not heaven! I wish you much power and strength.
8
I did not realize how much of Ms. Hill's dilemma was created by an abusive partner.
Getting away from a person like Mr. Hill, it seems to me, can be a far more difficult achievement than winning elected office.
I am thoroughly impressed by Katie Hill and I would vote for her again. And I would love to see her speak out on domestic abuse and violence.
9
Ms Hill, hopefully the time you've spent reflecting will allow you to realize that you've done absolutely nothing wrong -- nothing -- and that you should run again.
If I lived in your district, I'd vote for you in a heartbeat. You are a wonderful example of a strong, intelligent, and principled woman that I hold out to my granddaughters as someone to emulate.
The best of futures to you!
9
Thank you. For deciding to live and fight another day. For being honest. For what you have accomplished and what you will accomplish. The world needs all the strong women it can get. At 71, with a history of serious depression and a mental health advocate, I am glad to know you are there and that it never will be over.
7
I have two questions for commenters who have minimized Katie Hill's admitted affair with a 22-year old campaign aide and her alleged affair with a member of her House staff.
1. We have grown accustomed to hearing about how even a consensual affair in the workplace is improper if one of the parties has power over the other. Does that no longer apply? or does it only apply when the "powerful" partner is a male?
2. In 2018, presumably with Hill's support, the House adopted rules prohibiting consensual sex between House members and their staffers (and other cases). The rule was a response to the #MeToo movement. House rule (18. (a) states that a "Member ... may not engage in a sexual relationship with any employee of the House who works under the supervision of the Member...." Hill quit before the House could investigate the second allegation.
So my second question is, if this allegation is true, then why are you willing to exempt Hill from the rule?
39
She left office I’m not sure what you mean by ‘exempted.’
4
Didn't Ms. Hill also have an affair with one of her congressional staffer's? Wasn't that a violation of her ethical obligations?
31
I am sure Ms Hill will rise up again. She has much to contribute to this nation. We need people like Ms Hill. It's a travesty that we have a misogynist as our President who is violating every law in the nation and dedicated public servants like Ms Hill have to resign.
8
Ms. Hill, I hope you do come back. You are a warrior and did not deserve to be treated like you were. I hope that you can, over time, ignore the negativity, heal, and move forward. Our country needs more people like you in public service. Peace.
5
I admire Ms. Hill's courage and principles. She made her choices and dealt with the consequences. I would imagine her ex-husband's prospects will be slim to none as he has demonstrated a vindictive, lose-lose approach, to human relationships! The sinister motives and bigotry, of low-lifes brought out by the anonymity of the internet is truly disgusting. I admire Ms. Hill's courage and principles.
4
Katie,
You sound like a lovely person whose heart is in the right place and whose goals are lofty and admirable. That you seriously considered suicide is alarming. Maybe this horrible period of your life can be a learning. It might behove you to get what’s called a “recovery” job, while you immerse yourself in healing - spiritual counseling, therapy, AA, yoga - whatever centers and grounds you. You have been traumatized. What happened isn’t fair. You have endured something deeply wounding.
I think most people don’t care about naked photos. We have seen prurient photos of our First Lady that were MEANT to be seen, for heaven’s sake! Take some time to heal. You have a lifetime of good works ahead of you. Rest and get strong and then try again. You will contribute so much more when you have taken loving care of you.
8
Dauntless warrior queen rises from the ashes.
5
The photos embarrassed her to such an extent that she froze and then ran. Her constituents would have stood with and protected her. The problem created when a victim allows a perpetrator to "win" is that it encourages even more bullying and mysogeny. I feel tremendous compassion for her. She might try getting back on the horse now.
2
Katie, i volunteered on your campaign, and i was proud of doing some small something to flip the house. But you just don't sleep with your staff, because it's an abuse of power and because it's against the house rules. You should have known that, even before you ran. This is the reason you *had* to resign, not naked photos.
Revenge porn is illegal in California and should be prosecuted, but if you stepped down because of *that*, I'd say look across the aisle at Duncan Hunter. It took a felony conviction to bring down that unscrupulous loser, and he was guilty of actual crimes, not unethical misbehavior. You could have stayed strong, weathered the investigation, taken your medicine and hung tough. You didn't.
Because of your stupidity and lack of grit, i can't see a way to support you in future but i wish you luck in prosecuting your husband. Meantime, stop blaming others for your failure and find a new line of work.
29
Hang in there, lady!
2
Of the many takeaways from this is the certainty that we are ill-equipped in the cyber age to deal with all its aspects. I know many young people who think nothing of posting nudes or images that may come back to haunt them and I pass zero judgment on this, because at that age if the same technology had been available, I would no doubt have done the same. But Katie Hill was punished for being a sexually active woman and we have to stop this puritanical nonsense. I'd like to see bills passed criminalizing revenge porn so severely that whatever satisfaction a vengeful former spouse or partner might achieve (not to mention financial renumeration, as I suspect her husband also enjoyed) is far outweighed by the very real punishment. Does anyone truly believe her ex-husband was hacked for these photos? He tried to put her in a box - we should put him in one with bars on it.
2
Mrs. Alice Keppel, long-time mistress to Edward VII, said something like 'I don't care what people do in private - I don't want them doing it in the street and frightening the horses.'
These days, the horses are beyond scared; they've been dragged to the knacker and made into pet food.
6
She used her position of authority to get sex from subordinates, now shes playing victim card. If she was smart she would fade back into obscurity.
25
Having relations with an employee violated House rules and showed bad judgement. This is true regardless of the employer's political affiliation, gender, or sexual orientation. The power disequilibrium inherent in this situation has nothing to do with any of these other factors.
28
@EB
Just like Clinton right?
His bad judgement really got him in trouble - a continuous phase in office, a foundation, and almost back in the White House via his wife and riding off still like a hero
Lewinsky writes and book and has a couple interviews when we forget that she was actually a predator victim
Yeah, power disequilibrium has nothing to do with it
I could go on with other examples but would need to consume all the word limits of the comments to this story to get through it
5
@DMB Clinton was impeached for his bad judgement (and lying about it); even Bill likely doesn't view being one of three presidents (so far) to have been impeached by the House as a plus. I doubt that he looks like a hero to most of the country.
I agree that these rules have to be applied equally to all offenders; it's the unequal application of rules like this that is the problem, not the rules themselves. And I wouldn't worry about Hill's financial future... the Times gave her a full page in the highly visibile Sunday Opinion section to have her say, and you can look forward to buying the book that she is surely fast-tracking, to be followed by a lucrative lecture tour.
8
As a retired physician who has served in both the Army and the Navy in both peace and war I can only bow my head and say “Thank you for your service, your courage your honesty and for putting concerns for your family, friends and the country ahead of your own suffering”.
I am really glad you are staying in the fight.
8
Katie Hill lost her job over claims of sexual harassment. She did not lose her job because she was a victim of guerilla hit jobs by Red State or revenge porn by her ex. Katie Hill was accused of having relationships with more than one staff member where Ms. Hill was in a position of power. As has happened with countless others, despite her denial she lost her job over these accusations without having due process.
The current approach to situations such as Ms. Hill"s is antithetical to fairness and justice. I don't know if she was wrongly accused or not and at this point it is no longer relevant. She has already suffered the consequences without the chance to face her accuser or have her voice heard in a fair hearing. The present standard for a case like hers is that the accuser is believed and allowed to remain anonymous while the accused is named and destroyed before ever having due process. Ms. Hill is just another in a long line of powerful, and not so powerful, people who were convicted in a modern day form of mob justice.
Many of the other things that happened to Ms. Hill are horrific and inexcusable and unfortunately, a sign of the times. However, there seems to be a lot of "minimizing" going on with respect to the sexual harassment charges.
20
It's obviously important to Katie Hill that we understand how widely recognized she is by everyone around her as a determined and inspirational fighter and leader with a terrific future. And yet when the going got tough, she quit so fast all our heads still are spinning.
Speaker Pelosi didn't ask her to resign. Her friends in Congress (tough women leaders all) didn't tell her to resign. Democratic leaders in general, including men, didn't tell her to resign. Maybe Republicans demanded it but I'm not even sure of that and anyway, who cares what they think? If the allegations of improper (illegal) behaviour with staff were false, why didn't this fighter fight? Katie Hill seems to have no problem fighting her abusive ex-husband (good for her) and she has no trouble launching a very justifiable and important legal fight against the despicable porn revenge attacks. And in her horrifying moment of suicide, the thoughts that brought her back to us were of the people she feels she was put on this earth to lead and fight for.
In the context of everything she wants us to know about her, Katie Hill did a tremendous disservice to the women she claims to want to serve and protect. She quit a powerful job she obviously had dreamed about and strived for, for years. In so doing she took from them a seat of real power that she repeatedly points out how willing and ready she was to use and how willing others were to let her use it.
Victim? Sadly, yes. Hero? No.
8
Katie, here's your antidote. Go read the story in today's Times by Karen Blankfeld about two lovers in Auschwitz. Really. You'll feel a lot better about enduring life's terrible travails and then moving on.
14
Katie Hill,
After reading what you've written here, I would vote for you for any office in the land.
6
Katie, I got into politics with your campaign. I have never worked on a campaign before, and I met you, campaigned for you, canvassed for you, attended all the debates and was elated to see you win. And, to see how well you were doing in representing our district. I was proud of your accomplishments, so you can understand how disappointed I was about this whole incident. The fact that you came out immediately, acknowledged the mistake, and resigned your position was heartbreaking for all of us who worked so hard for you, but on the other hand, we respected your integrity in doing so. We wish you the best in the future. YOU have a voice now, and you need to keep up the good work, and maybe even get back into politics again, in one manner or another. Good luck to you.
5
I am sorry that this woman suffered all of this hostility and public humiliations. It’s not fair.
Read the history of our elections and politics since 1789. Everything which this young woman has suffered so has every candidate for and high office holder has suffered. Politics is about power and there is nothing nice or decent about the struggle for it. Politics in our country has never been fair.
2
Perhaps the most moving editorial I’ve read in years. Thank you, Katie, for bringing humanity back into our dark national discourse.
6
I think you are an incredibly brave woman. We all make mistakes. I'm 68 and some of my actions when I was your age were similar to what you've done but we didn't have cameras on our phones then. You too can still change and become a stronger person. Don't despair, our country needs you.
2
The first time I saw this new, young congresswoman interviewed it took me about 45 seconds to know that she would be an important voice in the future of our country, and now I know it for sure. Keep going. Keep doing what you're doing.
8
The story, as I understand it from the media, is that she engaged in a voluntary but inappropriate relationship with a campaign staffer. If that's all she's guilty of, losing her seat in Congress and public humiliation ever since is far more than enough punishment.
It would be completely appropriate for her to run again, and for people to support her for the same reasons they did the first time around. I hope she gets the opportunity to do it and wins.
13
Katie, wish you didn't resign but I understand. Glad you remain in the fight. Don't give up. Your voice is strong and growing stronger. We need you.
4
A mature leader takes responsibility for their actions. Blameshifting essays such as this do nothing but reveal Katie Hill as too self-absorbed to be a representative of the people.
My advice for Katie is get out of politics and go back to work in the real world. Come back to us in 10 years....by then you'll be in your mid 40s and hopefully have a more rounded perspective on your behavior.
26
There but for the grace of god go you. Judge,condemn, be righteous. Trust that you can withstand you own harsh views when your ugly truth is revealed.I dont beleive in god but I beleive in karma.
4
This is the stuff hero's are made of.
3
@mark I could not disagree more. No reflection on Katie Hill, but I require more of my heroes. Or (s)heroes, as they're often called.
I don't believe being open about one's bi-sexuality is heroic. It's being frank. Nor do I think resigning is heroic. Her story is unfortunate, and represents an unfair double standard. It does not, in my book of ethics, represent heroism. That's for the single mother who cleans bathrooms every day to support her children. For the young man facing down a brain tumor with grace and grit. For the hundreds who died on the beaches of D-Day.
Call me old-fashioned. Because...I am.
12
Naked photos? You mean she wasn't born wearing clothes like the rest of us? You mean she had SEX with someone? What is the world coming to?
5
Good thing you're not male. This column would never have seen the light of day.
19
If her ex-husband is responsible for disclosing the photos and messages, he should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. His own father, when asked about his role, sounded unconvinced of his son's innocence.
9
While I sympathize with Ms. Hill and agree that no one should be subject to such an awful public shaming by their own spouse, what this really boils down is yet another example of a public servant reaping the consequences of abusing the power entrusted to them by their electorate by engaging in an inappropriate, if not illegal, sexual relationship with a subordinate. In the 35 years I have worked in a professional capacity with or for Congress, I have lost count of the number of Members—many of whom I admired for their ideals skills, and passion to serving their country—who have been brought down either by such a relationship, or by the misuse of public or campaign funds to facilitate or cover up such a relationship. A precious few I have known—Barney Frank and Marcy Kaptur come to mind—managed to survive politically when such suspected relationships come to light. Public employees, and even Members of Congress, must take training about the consequences of sexual harassment and the abuse of authority inherent in a consensual sexual relationship with a subordinate. Ms. Hill’s column didn’t even mention this most damning aspect of her own role in her downfall.
54
Yes she did and she denied a relationship with a congressional staffer; in fact she has repeatedly denied it. I believe that she had a relationship with someone other than her husband before she was elected to Congress but does that matter?
26
@DCtroid I don't think you understand what Ms. Hill wrote, or you are twisting what she said to make a point. There is no evidence that she did anything illegal, or to even suggest it --as you've done here. The appropriateness of a relationship with a campaign staffer may or may not be fair game, but that is a subjective issue--at least for when it involves we of the male species. Innuendo combined with assertion of one's own experience does not an argument make.
7
@DCtroid I think you should take a trainning in "Mind your own bussiness" subject. It will help you to believe more in freedom and democracy and left your old fashion way of thinking where it needs to be: in the cave. The most illegal and innappropriate thing here is your comment.
8
Dear Ms. Hill - considering your situation with your ex-husband, I can understand why you quit, but it is too bad you felt you had to. Nothing you’ve done is bad, especially considering the incredibly new low standards of today. You were a great rep - once your divorce is finalized I hope you run again for your seat. No doubt you’ll get re-elected. Either way, you’ll be great!
6
She shouldn’t have to resign because her ex is trying to ruin her. This seems wrong.
3
Our culture has exploited sex and demonized sex. In fact, human sexuality is the only “moral” transgression when abortion is included. Cruelty, racism, starvation, and privation of medical needs are policy under Trump. His behavior is overlooked. The shaming of women, the denial of women’s sexuality, the subordination of women to fetuses is by design.
Ms. Hill, your circumstance is made awkward by design. You can do and have done something about the victimization and shaming of women. Thank you. You have done nothing wrong. While enduring the political hypocrisy in Congress was difficult what you endure now is terrible. But you are emerging stronger and with clarity. This is not about you. This is a cause for all women and you are suited to lead the fight. Patriarchal shaming sexuality, and belittling women cannot be tolerated at all.
Good luck. You are a great example for my daughters and grand daughters.
6
I should burn out my own eyes before viewing those pictures of this most extraordinary, and courageous woman. Whatever she does in the future...she has my vote.
6
A lot of the sickness of this country can be summed up by the fact that Hill could be viciously abused and in effect forced to resign for having her private life used as a weapon against her while someone like Sean Hannity is paid millions and protected by the First Amendment for doing things that actually undermine democracy (for example, by fanning the flames of the Seth Rich conspiracy theory, by conducting worshipful interviews with Julian Assange so long as Assange attacks democrats, and by supporting every action and word of a president who is hurting farmers, children, minorities, and American global leadership). It is a sick society that hounds Hill out of office and keeps aforesaid president in place, like a kind of open sore that his supporters insist is a beauty mark on the face of democracy.
16
Thank you Katie. You are brave to speak so clearly about the pain you endure.Few are willing to be emotionally naked when faced with ugly truths of our actions. You inspire me to face the demons we all live with.
2
Naked pictures and sexual affairs are used as weapons in politics today, as we saw when Adam Schiff was recorded as expressing interest in obtaining pictures from a Russian caller who claimed to have naked pictures of Trump. Schiff even said that he would put the caller in touch with his staff. Later, the call and claim to having pictures were shown to be completely fraudulent.
This is an unfortunate aspect of our politics today.
4
Maybe I am missing something but wasn’t the issue that prompted Ms. Hill to resign the accusation of sexual harassment by a staffer? What does it have to do with nude pictures and toxic marriage? I see no reason to be ashamed of nude pictures. Sexual harassment and misuse of power, on the other hand, are serious offenses. I see that this aspect of the affair somehow got lost in the flowery language about tears and wrist-cutting, which I find insincere and off-putting. When I first heard about Ms.Hill’s resignation, I felt that perhaps she had been unjustly forced out. With this whining, self-pitting expose, she has managed to convince me she is not fit to be a politician.
21
“Within adversity lies an equal or greater benefit”
2
Katie, The best is yet to come! Glad you are here to greet it!
2
Hasn't it been Republicans in Congress lately accusing Democrats of releasing nude photographs of Donald Trump (no idea what they're talking about, and I don't want to see nude photos of Trump) like doing that is a terrible, awful, outrageous, mean, horrible thing to do to someone? Just more double standards from the male ethos.
2
Every time a woman is exposed as loose, wanton, lacking morals (the list goes on and on) I am more convinced that it's done so that women will just sit down and shut up.
You stand up for every woman who has ever lost a job because of a vengeful angry husband or boyfriend who has trashed her reputation with her employer, be it with telephone calls, physical abuse, letters, pictures.
It is my hope that you get back in the political career in which you obviously are meant to do.
6
No doubt that revenge porn is unacceptable and should be illegal with severe penalties in all jurisdictions. I am also glad Ms. Hill decided to move forward in her life.
The other significant part of this was not addressed at all: Ms Hill’s relationship with a subordinate. This is a conflict of interests in any workplace because of the power dynamic due to the hierarchy. This is the fundamental basis of the #metoo movement.
Ms. Hill won’t earn my support until she acknowledges and properly addressed this issue.
10
And if it’s false? How does she prove that to your satisfaction? I suspect she cannot, but a Republican white male legislator would be given the benefit of the doubt, especially our president.
3
She's never pretended it's false. She had a sexual relationship with a young subordinate, which is highly inappropriate and unprofessional. Countless white male Congressmen have been brought down by similar transgressions. Why should she receive special treatment and sympathy.
9
I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can relate to a mentally ill ex and being the more outgoing/successful partner. What abuse, but yours was really over the top. NOT your fault. Hope to see you back soon.
3
God bless you, Katie. Whoever posted those pictures is the one who is a failure, the one who is disgraced and who IS a disgrace. You've done the right things all along nd will continue to do even more and better things. By the way, I'm a bluegrass musician and my fsvorite fiddle tune is "Katie Hill." Check it out some time.
2
Katie Hill was not brought down by the patriarchy. She was brought down by the ridiculous sexual puritanism of the very #metoo movement which she espouses.
Of course I sympathize with her plight when it comes to the revenge porn aspect of this story and wish her nothing but the best on her personal journey. But imagine, if you will, that this same story happened to someone else. Imagine it was a married male representative caught having an inappropriate relationship with a younger female staffer. And imagine that man's wife released incriminating and embarrassing photos of the male representative. Would Katie Hill have shown any sympathy for that man? Would she have counseled equanimity? Or would she have jumped right in with the inevitable #metoo lynch mob and demanded that the male representative go away, never to be heard from again? (And, while we're at it, would that male representative have been permitted to write a column stating his point of view in the NY Times a mere weeks after his resignation?) I think we all know the answer to these questions.
So, while I do sympathize, it would have been much more admirable and useful to the country for Ms. Hill to write a thoughtful article reflecting on these ideas. But this column is devoid of any such insight. Instead, it shows Ms. Hill to be a selfish opportunist who uses feminism for her own personal ends rather than contributing to a larger dialogue that might be of real benefit to our culture and society.
17
The people behind the release of your private pictures ought to be held accountable, but you're a victim of your own bad judgement. I hope you recover, learn, and move on.
3
please run again. please!!
1
Hill “metoo’ed” her very young (10 yrs younger?) attractive staffer into a lust and seemingly drug/alcohol fueled triangle, got caught, yet still claims to be the victim. If the staffer rejected the advances of the then bright-futured Hill, would she still have a job?
What if a man had done this? Then the man sent out a sympathy request in the NYT? You’d all be calling him a creep. The hypocrisy at play here is astonishing.
19
Katey is a victim of her own narcissism and sense of entitlement. If she were a drunken Republican man who had been forced to resign because of workplace sexual misconduct, no one would be very sympathetic.
17
@SGT Ted Justy lIke the guy in the WH?
you should not have quit. Did Pelosi bully you.
she should not have nor should your husband or the evil right-wingers/republicans
But you quit
A guru once taught me that "we are the cause of our pleasure and pain." I'm so sorry you have had to go through hell and back to get where you are now. If anything, you have learned a huge lesson in the temporality of all things. Of course, had you not made the naked pictures in the first place, they would not exist to be used against you. But at the time, that was likely the furthest thought from your mind. It is said that when one door closes, another opens. So if you won't become a career politician, which means someone would eventually flip you from your seat, there are are other opportunities that may even come to surpass the expectations you had of Congress May the next part of your Journey in this life be both blessed and an adventure.
2
Dear Katie,
I salute you for your courage and honesty in doing what you believed was the right thing. I know you will be back stronger and with greater conviction to serve the country extraordinarily well. All the best. I am rooting for you.
1
Katie Hill is just the sort of honest, strong, gutsy representatives we need in government. Voters need to bring her back.
3
@Paul Wertz
Except that she thinks the rules she writes for you and me don't apply to her.
15
Thank you for writing such a bare bones courageous and powerful piece. Keeping going, Katie. We are with you.
6
Thank you for the beautiful commentary, Congresswoman. Good luck as you move strongly forward in life. I am grateful that we have not heard the last from you!
4
Katie, This event in your life does not define you. You are a brave woman and I'm so thankful that you were able to pull yourself out of the tub, put on your "battle" clothes and paint and (at least for that moment) move forward. This country needs women like you. Please continue your fight. You are an inspiration!!!
6
She wrote a powerful letter. It is a shame that naked photos of a woman in 2019 still bear so much shame.
There is nothing to be ashamed of. These photos were part of a private story and the person who leaked them should be ashamed. Not you.
Stay strong and come back. We need you.
21
Katie, I'm a big believer in "you reap what you sow" (or, as some would put it, karma)... in this case, your ex-husband has a big reckoning coming his way.
He was willing to sacrifice all of the good you could have done for America because he didn't want you escaping a bad marriage?
That doesn't just make him a bad husband -- it makes him a bad American, on the level of being a traitor.
Stay strong. Stay proud of what you've accomplished. And stay away from that ex of yours!
10
You left out one thing: you alone put yourself in those situations that were too tempting for others with smartphones to ignore.
Your husband didn’t do that. The extremist Republican operatives didn’t do that.
You did.
Sex with subordinates is never acceptable.
You were in DC long enough to know that nowhere is safe, everyone has a smartphone, and that secrets are never secret.
I applaud your idealism and share many of your positions. But your political fall was a personal failure that you still do not accept responsibility for.
25
So this is the new rule? Sex with anyone who works for you in a subordinate position is always wrong? What a sick puritanical society the liberals want to live in.
4
Nice deflection for her actions.
Great job.
13
I feel bad for Ms Hill, clearly a talented, ambitious woman who had the makings of a good politician who is grieving for being human and paying for it. However, she is also self-serving. Ms Hill was not the only person betrayed by the leak of the photos and it was not her husband. There seems to be little consideration of the effect her "mistake" had on a younger possibly more impressionable woman who was not only her responsibility as her campaign leader but also has to live with the consequences without the support network of fellow politicians or opportunity to mea culpa in the New York Times. This woman has been silenced and is not even mentioned affectionately or regretfully and with that, Ms Hill shows the same characteristics as many other narcissist politicians
12
Decent, caring human beings like Katie Hill and Al Franken are "side-lined" by unfortunate circumstances and questionable (at worst) judgement. Meanwhile, The Absurd Orange Monstrosity remains in office and our right wing friends continue to adore the joke that the Mike Pences, William Barrs, and Mike Pompeos of our disastrous executive branch call their "Christianity." Please tell me this will be over soon. Please?
13
I hope she runs and wins again. Remember she turned a Republican district Democratic. Obviously the people of her district wanted change. Let them elect her again. The Republicans as a party don't care if they destroy people, kidnap babies, let dictators murder at will, or destroy our system of government. She stands against all of that.
7
the clarity of this deeply personal admission with respect to sex - is that Americans still have a stubborn puritanical view about sex that is at DIRECT ODDS with the kind of social sex they are actually having.
Hang it on religion, i do.
7
She takes no responsibility for her misconduct. We need role models not whiners.
20
@Rachelle Lane What "misconduct?" She got naked and someone took pictures without her permission? She was accused of inappropriate sexual conduct that was never proven? Burn the witch!
1
I remain in support of Katie Hill. What a joke that our president gets defended in all the immoral deeds he has done and the damage he has inflicted on our country, while a brave, young female gets tarred and feathered. She didn’t needn’t need to step down, but just like Al Franken, she chose to step back so the people and the press didn’t get distracted from the real issues at hand. Too bad our president isn’t as noble.
Rise Up, Rise again, Katie, i stand with you.
5
I hope she runs and wins again. Remember she turned a Republican district Democratic. Obviously the people of her district wanted change. Let them elect her again. The Republicans as a party don't care if they destroy people, kidnap babies, let dictators murder at will, or destroy our system of government. She stands against all of that.
1
I hope she runs and wins again. Remember she turned a Republican district Democratic. Obviously the people of her district wanted change. Let them elect her again. The Republicans as a party don't care if they destroy people, kidnap babies, let dictators murder at will, or destroy our system of government. She stands against all of that.
1
Katie, You have a wonderful future and your letter proves it.
I cannot tell you how much your honesty stands out like a brilliant light in view of what is coming out of some of Washington these days.
I grew up in the OC and know how it needs you, Head high, girl, keep on!
Penelope Shackelford
4
All right! You're still in the fight. Now run for office again! What's the problem? You have to get beyond this part of your life, for heaven's sake. You kids don't think into the future. I know, neither did I. But folks who believe as you do that you can make tomorrow a better place for all of us, you have to get back on your horse and ride!
3
So she was naked? So? When I was undressing at my doctor's office and the nurse walked in before I got dressed and seemed a bit shocked. I told her "If you see anything here you haven't seen before let me know." I don't know what the big deal is except it was total wrong of whomever posted on line- and totally wrong of the Daily Mail (which is famous for being daily wrong about a good many things) to publish any of it - edited or not. As far as the tattoo. It was originally a Prussian medal and is currently featured on the aircraft of the German air force. And in WW1, yes, it was awarded to Hitler, as well as many other German soldiers including a number of German Jewish soldiers. Get over it. I would have one myself, but according to the Jewish religion one is not supposed to have an ornamental tattoo. Plus, I'm 75 and don't like needles.
6
There is something so very wrong about a young woman who gets blackmailed out of Congress over nude photos—distributed without her consent—while a woman who got paid to pose nude lives in the White House. Neither deserves blame or shame for being seen nude but the double standard is mind-blowing.
12
One was embarrassed, one wasn't.
2
Male politicians who have consensual sexual relations with subordinates are never supported, and should not be.
7
JT is correct. Rep. Hill was victimized here, the target of "revenge porn," then bullied by people with agendas. She should have listened to Nancy Pelosi. Her beautifully written piece takes you intensely through the emotional roller coaster she rode to resignation, but it shows a person devastated by being victimized. I hope she gathers her strength and rises to leadership again.
1
We need you back in Congress, Katie, and we need more people IN Congress like you.
Good luck.
2
Katie, they did it to you.
Now, you're immune.
Run, again. Run.
Win, again. Win.
2
She made a mistake resigning; she ought to have followed Pelosi's advice, given her naysayers the two-fingered salute, and carried on.
1
Speaker Nancy Pelosi has provided the path to redemption!
Quid Pro Quo then Carpe Diem!
1
Come back, Ms Hill. Don't give up.
2
Even though their own witnesses would not support the Democrats accusations against him as a 14-year old boy, Judge Kavanaugh was called a monster in front of his wife and parents.
Guess it matters where the D and the R falls in the equation.
7
Hmmm, attempted sexual assault versus naked photos. This guy sees no difference. Curious? Strange? Is this how men think or just Republican men?
4
Our President had an affair while his wife was pregnant. He's even joked about his conduct (grab 'em by the...), and has been married three times, having cheated on all three. He's our President, leader of the party that insists they alone have family values. I'm sick of these double values. Who is more despicable, someone having an affair or a political publication that publishes nude pictures of one of their political foes? What is more despicable, someone who had an affair, or someone who takes children from their parents and "forgets" to keep records so they can be reunited? What about someone who bribes a foreign country to smear their political opponent? If you are a Democrat and join the fight for the survival of our democracy, expect the worse, because this is a war. Stay the course, we have your back.
4
How can you “ in the fight “ if you quit the job?
4
Rep Hill, the example you set will be looked up to by sexploitation victims everywhere. I, for one, hope this is not the end of your public career. You were railroaded a la Sen Franken and the country will be worse off if you were to stop persisting.
Get it girl!
1
Personally, I am sorry that Ms. Hill felt compelled to resign her elected position, However, that is her call to make; no one else's.
I suspect that the admirable way Ms. Hill conducts herself going forward will validate her current tormentors as the driveling neanderthals they so obviously are.
2
I am sorry to read what you have been put through. I hope you are one day back in our government. I believe Bill Clinton’s impeachment was wrong, I believe Al Franken’s resignation was wrong. And I believe the calls for your removal were wrong. I do not know you, you are not from my state, but I root for your success and I hope you never lose hope as you get past this horrible ordeal.
1
I'm confused. If Ms. Hill did nothing wrong other than be the victim of "cyber [s]exploitation" or "revenge porn," why did she resign? We have a multiple accused sexual predator and sex-confessed philanderer who has received the "Good Housekeeping seal of approval" [aka a mulligan] from Christian evangelicals in The White House so why should she resign? Given how our predator president is viciously attacking those with different sexual preferences, I wish Ms. Hill had stayed and fought to defend the LGBTQ community. It's sad to see her accept the victim role and resign when Donald Trump constantly plays the besieged victim [as with "presidential harassment"], but refuses to resign. As a psychologist, I can only wish that Ms. Hill gets all the help she needs to fully recover her sense of self-worth and self-esteem.
2
@Paul Wortman because her resignation was related to the sexual harassment of a subordinate, not her hevenge porn fantasies
7
This is a big loss. I really wish the Congresswoman had toughed it out. For some reason questionable but consensual sexual behavior is disqualifying while Papadopoulous and his backers believe that a convictions for lying to Congress is not.
I guess Red State media's family values went out the window when they published the nude photos and her messages.
1
Thank-you...sometimes it is tough being human..keep going ...you can make a positive difference...this is going to turn out ok
I stopped using my real name when I was attacked and hunted on the internet by you all, the NYT’s male commentators. How do I know? Because I have to pay someone to keep me off of the internet. And I am not on social media except for this feed.
I have been slandered and worse and know what it means to be married to someone who has no other life but to hunt you as prey. Even the police could not protect me.
And this is exactly what her X did to her. She outgrew him and he wanted to keep her in his cage, and if it wasn’t such a cliche it would be heartbreaking. But apparently it is more sensational to talk about sex then the life of a victim. Even fir the New York Times.
1Maybe it is about time to resurrect stories of women who barely escape with their lives, like the women I now help whose husbands have threatened to kill them and not just ruin their reputation. The escalation is almost always a given.
3
Ms. Hill, you've looked death in the face. You now have nothing to fear. Absolutely nothing. The vengeful, tacky behavior of your ex says everything about him and nothing tawdry about you. In fact, being betrayed and "outed" in this horrible way makes you a more authentic public figure. Give us, your admiring public and those that are lucky to be able to cast a vote for you, another chance. We need you.
2
It sure is a shame that only Democrats feel the need to resign from Congress when there is any type of scandal. Just look at the republican party and all of the fraud, cheating, lying, obstructing justice and so on and so on. Too bad. i am sorry you had to go through that, your husband should be jailed.
4
Ms Hill: come back, run again. The country needs your passion and representation. Don’t let the fools and lowlifes dictate your future. I would vote for you if I could, just to get you back in the fight.
The websites that published the photos without consent should be investigated and charged for crimes against you.
1
The nasty people who have tried to hurt you have only humiliated themselves. Be grateful that you have beauty and intelligence and passion. Life's truest lessons are not the ones that are fun and easy when they confront you. Only you can allow yourself to be shamed. Walk proud in your accomplishments and be strong!!
It’s a shame to lose this woman from Congress, but I’m glad she’s still in the fight. It’s strange. Many of us liberals tout our unconventional sexual morays, yet we buckle so readily to public censure of erotic impropriety. Conservatives, on the other hand, make a big public show of erotic rectitude, and yet when they are caught, they seem to thumb their noses at such public censure without shame. What gives?
People try to humiliate others because of some inexplicable and deep meanness they feel toward themselves. There is nothing you did that should make you feel humiliated or ashamed. Most of us who know what you were subjected to wish you the best. We all hope you put this in perspective, which translates into understanding the shameful behavior belongs to those who slandered and defamed you.
Why is showing the female body full of shame. If these were pornographic photos, well yes, beyond embarrassing. So to all girls of all ages, first don't let boyfriends and husbands or anybody photograph you nude in this digital era. if a photo of you nude does appear, because you forgot the rule, OWN YOUR BODY. Yes, this is what I look like nude for fatter or thinner, younger or older. Why is there so much shame over the female nude body? We need to put this on the to do list of changes in attitudes. Look, an ex who is mad can draw or otherwise depict a woman (or man) nude . We women will be blackmailed until we say, SO WHAT!
1
I wish you had not resigned and stayed to fight back.
find pix poster and get him a long prison sentence!
The one man, the President of the United States, is far more morally ambiguous, not at all loyal and an incredible liar. He knows it and we know it, yet his party sticks to him like glue. He is purposeful and mean in his sexual attacks, while Hill and Franken were caught off guard for a moment but know right from wrong and try to do what is right. The wrong people are going, because they are capable of shame and are moral. Trump, not at all. We’re stuck with him until Republican voters realize what they are supporting.
This will not be a popular comment.
Of course what happened to her was wrong. Revenge porn is ugly and illegal. And her bisexuality is irrelevant.
But there is a grandiosity and self-importance to her telling of the tale. I suppose it is an inevitable aspect of her attaining a position of public power at such a young age. The self-important tone in the column is probably related to the factors that led a 29 year-old to run for Congress in the first place.
I do have sympathy for her. What happened was unquestionably painful. But it is not among the most important or tragic tales of this era.
10
So how many charges of bad sexual behavior have been brought against the male person now serving as our President? Some awfully crude behavior of his was revealed before the election and still we voted for him.
Let Ms Hill’s experience be a guide to every female reading the article - once you allow your picture to be taken or words written, you have lost control of your Self. If you are in public life you are more vulnerable than you ever knew. And, truth and reality are irrelevant as technology allows words and photos to be manipulated.
Are we so important, we weaker sex, that the attempts to keep us in Our Place must grow in lowness and manipulation? Barefoot and pregnant was a sort of joke when I grew up in pre birth control days, but I wonder.
I wish you hadn't resigned. I think you could have survived this.
2
She’s working overtime to rewrite what actually caused her downfall. It wasn’t the pictures
8
The attacks on you and your family by right wingers is unfortunately not surprising given the substantial evidence of their unmooring from any moral or ethical behavior,
I am sorry that you have suffered as a result and wish you the best.
Okay, my question is why do women (and men) send naked pics of themselves to someone else? I don’t get it. Anyone?
4
Once again I'm sorry to read in these pages unsubstantiated allegations. ("I believe ... is the source of the images.")
2
shouldn't have resigned
I thought Ms. Hill had left office because she abused her power with a subordinate. As I understood it had nothing at all to do with the leaked nude photos. Unless I'm wrong (quite possible) this article is misleading and maybe inappropriate.
10
Now that Katie Hill is gone, Nancy Pelosi can ensure integrity and dignity are restored to Congress. Good riddance.
4
How quick these readers are to excuse an improper sexual relationship with a subordinate as “private.” She would have been crucified if she had an “- R” by her name. Hypocrisy and partisanship at its lowest.
10
There's nothing wrong with what Katie Hill did. It used to be against the law for any two people of the same sex to be physically intimate. Should people have followed that hideous "rule" as well?
Having said that, this is blowback for the over-the-top -- though not all -- aspects of #MeToo and OK Woke. Too many noses in the privacy of others leads to these kinds of insane "rules." To paraphrase William Burroughs, Americans are incapable of minding their own business.
3
I contrast Ms Hill’s actions and words with those of Rep Duncan Hunter, to name just the most recent example of a male politician who engaged in extra-marital sex. It’s never the right thing to do, but what a difference. Thank you for this brave piece Katie Hill. You’ll be back!
Two lessons:
1) When everyone is high, and someone pulls out a cell phone and starts shooting pictures, stuff that you may not want other people to see often gets captured.
Therre are laws that govern revenge porn; it seems that they should be applied here. Still, put a basket at the door for cellphones at the party entrance, guarded by someone who will put it away for security and return.
2) According to Wikipedia, Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi said Hill made "some errors in judgment that made her continued service as a Member untenable."
Untenable, huh ?
But it was just fine when Bill Clinton dallied with his intern.
That, is all you ever need to know about Nancy Pelosi and her moral high ground.
2
This weekend we commemorate the slaughter of 14 female engineering students murdered only because they were female. A lot has happened in thirty years since. We still have many problems but sexual behaviour is not a problem all we ask of our elected officials is honesty , integrity and your best effort.
We are humanists and we have laws to defend our humanity. Sex is not our original sin and as long as it involves only consenting adults it is not a sin at all.
We just outlawed overt religious garb and symbols on teachers and other civil servants precisely because of the legacy of shame we endured for centuries. We are under attack because we outlawed skullcaps, crucifixes , burkas and turbans for those entrusted with our public welfare.
I don't know what to tell you. I was born in ultraconservative Catholic and Theocratic Quebec and we were taught to feel shame for being human. We thought America was ultra permissive. Last year we threw out the best government we had ever had because it had become corrupt but there were no sexual scandals. A sex scandal is when your lover has foreign lovers and you forget classified documents. The shame isn't getting high it is getting high and carrying around classified documents.
When will we stop shaming the victims? When will victims not feel shame.
Maybe banning religious symbols on authority figures (Quebec Bill21) is a good beginning.
Your country needs you desperately that ole time religion don't work and God ain't helping.
1
So much victim-blaming...
Should any of us lose our jobs or be judged so harshly because someone takes and shares nude photos of us without our consent?
Many of the commenters here blame Ms. Hill for what was done to her, just as other women and girls are relentlessly and persistently blames for being victimized in this way. No one deserves to be the target of revenge porn.
I am confused. Ms. Hill did what was not expected of a mere woman, she won. She had to be tough. She had to go toe to toe with the manhood of chest beating and dirty pool and she won. She was an inspiration to women who should have at least half the voices in our polity. Given that, I am so disappointed that she resigned. I agree with Pelosi, if that was her advice and wonder why not just fight the fight, like the campaign and wait it out? Who cares if you are naked, lot of people are naked. Who cares if you get a ding for an affair in the campaign, lots and lots of people have affairs in campaigns. The voice would have been amplified.
I feel the same way about Al Franken. I had hoped that he would gird up and take on Trump. He has the PR chops and the hutpah to pound Trump, but what happened? The Dems have an orthodoxy of zero tolerance? or does the ambitious just like to kill the opponent who stumbles, even as they get up and gallop past you. Or is the whole thing just Kabuki?
1
Katie Hill, keep on going. There is work to be done and you are equal to it. You have done nothing wrong.
Also, someone should "out" your husband, publish his name. Let him feel the harassment you have been through.
1
Dear Katie, you should get started laying the groundwork for your campaign to replace Senator Feinstein in 2022 next year while campaigning for the Democratic Presidential nominee. I’ll commit to working to get you elected now.
That will fix the haters real nice and you can do the most good for California in the Senate.
Good for you Katie Hill. I’m so glad you have refused to slink away. I’m sorry you resigned too. Run again. Win again.
Hmmm... has this sort of attack ever happened to our lusty male politicians?
1
Laughable.
This person resigned from her position. Nobody forced her. Nobody threw her out. She resigned.
Now, in some bizarre form of logic, having voluntarily resigned, she wants to claim “victim” status, and we’re all supposed to feel sorry for her.
Apparently, in liberal America we celebrate those who engage in stupid acts, and then run away from their responsibilities when things get tough. No thanks.
7
If it’s proven that your husband released those photos, it should be a criminal act if it’s not already. Only a truly terrible human being would do such a thing. Karma will bite them back.
Until Republican men who are adulterers start resigning, I don't think anymore liberals, male or female, should.
1
Wow! Though I didn't follow this case very closely, it was a bit too tabloid for me,but knew how this young woman was slandered and persecuted , this is a remarkable young person. From a jaded,cynical old white guy, this is inspirational.
1
Although cyber exploitation (revenge porn) is a horrible crime, it is also one easily avoided by never having such bad judgment as to take compromising pictures that can then be used to exploit you
Had Rep Katie Hill not resigned, that would have, could have, should have served some important purposes. The House ethics committee would have been forced to investigate and to render a verdict. And if guilty, then to sanction her. If she had resisted the pressure to resign, then the public and her colleagues in Congress could have better understood the official process and its punishment.
Even after reading Hill's description of her suicidal ideation, her toughness in her campaign and now after resigning makes me suspect that she knew that there was something an investigation would have revealed that could have been sanctioned with dismissal and barring her from holding future federal offices. Or uncomfortable facts that the public would have learned from the investigation that would have made her re-election too difficult. Alas, we will never know, because Hill chose to resign.
6
Thanks, Katie, for sharing your experience and having the courage to keep on with the important work. You write so very well and will, I am sure, provide important leadership in the years ahead. As a 74 year old male (humanist/feminist), I admire your stance and wish you the best. Life has a way of punching us down like bread dough so we might rise again. Shine on!
To paraphrase a line from some book I've read - "those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones."
In today's world of internet bots and databases mining information about everyone and everything, virtually anything one has ever done - from an 8th grade science project to a high school debate class argument to a photo in a college year book - is fair game for an opponent or enemy to dredge up and use to defame someone.
I truly feel badly for Ms. Hill, and what she has endured - shame on those who have no respect for decency. Further, I am ashamed of a media class that would seize upon the exploitation of Ms. Hill and any private portions of her life or lifestyle. Was she wrong to engage in a relationship with a subordinate? Probably - but, more importantly, that's not for me or you or the media to judge. If there was/is an ethical violation there is a process to discover it, contend with it, and, if necessary, punish it.
I feel sorry for the voters in her district who backed her, and supported her run for Congress. They deserved more than they got. From all indications Ms. Hill had a strong future serving her constituents, and that's been taken away. I don't blame Ms. Hill for that - I blame the shameless purveyors of indecency and amorality that brought her down.
Ms. Hill, keep you head up and walk proudly! You have talent and before long the ugliness will be forgotten and you will be able to move on. Best wishes.
She resigned because she inappropriately had a sexual relationship with a junior staffer of hers - that was fair. The “revenge porn” aspect of her story is a disgusting violation of her privacy and whoever leaked those photos should face civl and/or criminal liability.
Both are true. But are also independent of each other. Please stop conflating the two.
10
How completely predictable that, in her last speech in Congress, Katie Hill would claim that she quit because of a "double standard" and "misogynistic culture" in Congress. Yeah, right -- the old boys' club made me do it!
Hill was accused of having an affair with a male staffer. That was a violation of House ethics reforms that were implemented in 2018 in response to the #MeToo movement. It is Hill who is guilty of the double standard.
Hill also admitted to an "inappropriate relationship" with a 22-year old campaign staffer. Haven't we all had it drilled into us ad nauseam that such behavior is wrong because of the "power imbalance" between Hill and her campaign aide? Pseudo-feminists made the bed, but they refuse to lie in it!
Nothing that I have said is intended to to minimize the outrageous invasion of Hill's privacy by her former husband and/or others unknown. I hope these events won't end her career in politics. But before her comeback, I hope she will seriously ponder her own hypocrisy and will resolve not to play the victim card again for mistakes for which she has only herself to blame.
10
Katie Hill's experience is alarming. The Puritanical response, harnessed and used by vile critics, is unrelated to real life.
Millions of young people have been unknowingly setting themselves up for similar denigration.
We need to oppose malicious attacks, whether by cyber, or fists, or weapons.
Our culture is incredibly prudish. We even impeached a president for a sexual liaison.
Her private sexual behavior was and is hers personally.
Whatever happened to "Live and Let Live"?
1
I wish Al Franken hadn't resigned either. He would make a great Democratic presidential candidate.
1
This appears to be very personal issue that Ms. Hill has contributed to making it very public, over and over again. No blame here just stating that if one wants to lead a quiet, maybe dignified life then they need to step out of the spotlight and not run full bore back into the headlights like a deer at night on a dark, desolate road.
Politics is a dirty job and there is no limit to what others will do to bring someone down. Ms. Hill's story is her own and for many it was not news to begin with and for others it is old news. She should focus on the future and let a messy past die.
4
This is a powerful message from an emotionally available and strong woman. Our society is so full of hatred, it’s frightening. To think about how weak and damaged the people that attacked Katie and her family, for personal choices among consenting adults is so beyond hypocritical it’s hard to even process. Her ex-husband is a sad man that needs serious help. I’m so thankful for Katie for writing this and for still being with us after that dark moment of reflection.
1
Former Rep. Hill sadly still doesn't "get it". Her resignation from Congress was not a consequence of "revenge porn" but of her inappropriate intimate relationship with a staffer.
House rules forbidding such relationships were enacted in response to the #MeToo movement. Accordingly, an investigation by the House Ethics Committee - chaired by Ms. Hill's fellow Democrat Rep. Ted Deutch - was opened on October 23rd.
Upon Ms. Hill's resignation, Speaker Pelosi - a fellow Democrat and fellow Californian - invoked "a climate of integrity and dignity in the Congress" and said that Ms. Hill had made "errors in judgment that made her continued service as a Member untenable". The Speaker strongly and properly condemned the "revenge porn" episode in which Ms. Hill was victimized, but correctly kept that matter separate from Ms. Hill's own actions, which were the only actions that were responsible for her departure from the House.
9
You are so strong. Hang in there. I can't wait to see what you will do. You are the future.
1
There is literally *only* one good thing that might come out of this horrific illegitimate presidency.
And that is a recalibration of what kind of behavior is a deal-breaker for a public figure. He has swung the pendulum so far that we can't even see it; and while we do need to come back toward civility and standards, maybe we can make progress on deciding what matters and what is none of our business.
When it swings back, I hope it allows for the mistakes of fine and thoughtful people like you, Katie Hill.
Hill was the victim of a rancid political assault by Republicans who specialize in it. That's how they roll, with Trump as their leader. If you want to punish it, begin to put a stop to it, vote. I hope she goes across the country next year to spread that message.
Here is the answer, Katie: Run again for the seat that you resigned. It is the right thing to do.
1
Why is it that this violator of present-day workplace sexual ethics gets a platform to "show courage" etc. while so many other similar miscreants (properly) do not?
6
Katie Hill, you should not have resigned so quickly !
But, you are young and have a lifetime to come back to the political arena.
Has trump resigned, No.
1
First of all, my sincere thoughts and love to you. But please don't think anyone seeing the photos of you will think less of you. I haven't seen them. People see them for all sorts of reasons. But for sure, you shouldn't be embarrassed by them because Katie, you are gorgeous. For eg The First Lady has her nudes everywhere. I don't think less of her because of her nudes. Only for her character. And, by God, Katie, your character is far superior than hers!
We have Republican congressional felons who don’t leave until thrown out. How about thieving Trump cabinet secretaries. Clinton had an affair with a much younger staffer.
And here we have this wonderful woman, who chose to help the homeless, leaving voluntarily on allegations from a garbage rag. I wish she’d fought it out. What a loss to our country Hill’s resignation is.
Come back, Katie. As soon as you get a chance.
I truly respect you, Katie, and I am filled with white-knuckle indignation at the attempt to shame you with non-consensual publication of explicit images. I hope you pursue justice and be the change we all want to see when it comes to revenge porn and the sexual demeaning of female public figures for political and patriarchal ends.
However: I do feel your choice to have a relationship with a member of your campaign staff displayed questionable judgment. I will not infantilize the woman on your staff -- she was old enough to consent and consent she did. However, she was barely out of college, and this was among her first big steps into the corridors of power. I feel that the potential for exploitation in a relationship with someone (male or female) in those circumstances is substantial, and that you, as an older adult, should have recognized that potential and chosen differently.
For this reason, I feel it was right that you resigned -- in recognition that this relationship (which you have never denied) was a misstep exhibiting dubious professional judgment. At the same time, I urge you to fight back with all of your considerable smarts against the falsely claimed relationship and the photographs.
And, lest I be accused of gender bias, please know I supported the firing of McDonalds CEO Steve Easterbrook for the similar relationship -- consensual but potentially exploitative -- he chose to have with a member of his staff.
5
Keep fighting the good fight Katie. You are awesome. Let no one tell you different, ever.
So a congresswoman who's privacy and trust is betrayed by an ex-partner resigns, and a president who boasts of grabbing women's private parts remains in office. OK, mind, keep boggling...
1
You should never have resigned. It’s sad how democrats and women in particular get hounded out of office for actions Republicans like our President ride out and benefit from.
I understand your personal concerns and this isn’t a criticism. I don’t know you but I’m sorry you left Congress in this way. My god , we have men in Congress sitting in judgment on patriotic Americans who have come forward to tell the truth who enabled child abuse. It’s appalling.
Believe me, your husband will suffer much more -- and for longer -- than you ever will! We reap from our sowing. He will have a hard time ever having a career or any kind of respect.
1
A septuagenarian has over twenty accusations of sexual assault, charges of spousal rape brought against him, has publicly revealed that he sexually assaults women, calls women "pigs" and other dispicable names, has children from 3 different wives, but he's elevated to the status of god by his party and by trump-christians.
The front-runner for the Democratic race for president, also a septuagenarian, challenges men to push-ups and fist-fights, manufactures this faux machismo, bar-brawler persona with "hey, man", and "jack," and all sorts of laughable posturing, and he's presented as the best we got.
Katie Hill is the target of a crime, and she's relentlessly, criminally attacked. Sure, there are no double standards. Sure, women don't need an Equal Rights Amendment.
No, Ms. Hill, you may NOT leave this fight.
3
Why are we allowing far worse and more dangerous offenses to succeed, in this case the "revenge porn" put out publicly by her ex-husband (sounds like a real catch)? Donald Trump was rewarded with the US presidency despite Russia's illegal hacking of DNC emails, voter rolls, and their social media propaganda campaign, and again, it was a woman who just had to take her lumps and be the one shamed and scorned. When Bill Clinton was impeached by Republicans, what Republicans did to him was far more dangerous to our democracy than was a sex lie. Funding a meritless civil suit to harass a president for seven years, even creating the Arkansas Project to try to find something on which to pin on him, or even make something up if necessary, and then abusing impeachment, a serious matter, over ill-gotten means, is much more dangerous for us, as are "revenge porn" pushers, and foreign corruption of our elections. Those things cause far more harm and are much bigger threats than anything their targets did. They should not be rewarded with giving them the ends they seek.
Rock on Katie! I too suffer from depression and have thought about taking my life hundreds of times. Please don't let these people put their values on your values. You are beautiful, smart, and an amazing public servant. Don't let these evil people take that from you. You're an inspiration to me and I'm sure many women. You got dragged through mud because you are a woman. Please rise up from this and continue to make this world a better place.
I'll take a flawed Democrat who cares and has a heart over a 'perfect' hypocritical soulless Republican any day of the week. Good luck and best wishes.
1
She did nothing wrong. Nothing. Hope she runs again.
1
I wish her well but let's be serious, resignation was ineluctable. The affair with her staffer was idiotic, and the whole scenario reveals choices that call into question her sound judgement as a politician and leader. Were I in her district, she would ave certainly lost my support, if not my actual vote against a Republican.
She'll find another path. The same smarts and hustle that got her from the edge of nowhere to Congress will serve her well.
4
My goodness.
As a mom to kids her age.......
I remember coming across “my space “accounts years ago where my kids were partying w friends and acting out crazy stuff a Human Resources professional might tell them to squelch for employment purposes and reputation maintenance as adults.
I never understood why folks in sexual encounters photograph the shenanigans. Just regular people using grossly poor judgement. ??
I am disappointed in Ms. Hill’s former spouse and her for not using more prudence.
Most importantly we see the glaring double standard for the male/ female status. Trump is at the top of the list of horrible disrespectful men accosting women and using and abusing them yet continuing to show up as media darlings. Ms. Hill and women everywhere deserve a better outcome to equality. Ms. Hill you are at a very important juncture in life. I think it is time to serve the women and men that have also had careers and lives destroyed by nefarious trolls revealing private human behavior that brings pleasure and fun at the moment. It wasn’t abnormal or sinful it was PRIVATE. Now it isn’t and someone destroyed an important advocate for women. Only a woman president can save this country. Help us now with that Ms. Hill. And stop being embarrassed by the encounter. Those dissing the threesome party are hypocrites. Human sexual pleasure between consenting normal spectrum adults is not a linear behavior.
Thank you for sharing this story of struggle. It will help others.
1
Here is how we come into the world, naked. The world of adults, Those king's queen's leaders of all kinds, Need to get together one of these days for their 3 times a year, mass gathering.
All of them have to show up Born Naked. No coverings to hide the parts they hide in normal events. This meeting isn't videoed. You do hear their voices though. They must all endure this, so that they will make more informed rules and regs for everyone else, and to cut to the quick this I am Holier than thou attitude they so often develop wearing outfits and such.
I wonder what that would do to our long term attitudes about civil discourse, and standards.
Just another Thought experiment from @BioWebScape and the #FreeRightNow political Party.
You are my hero.
1
Dear Katie, I guess what I'll write will seem like a "duh" moment. I personally dont care what you do on your own time. I dont care about the photos or your personal life. But, what I truly can't understand is that how people in the public eye so often lose sight of the fact that they are no longer able to go about their lives as if they were ordinary everyday people. Its particularly sad when Democrats act as if this isn't the most important battle we will face as Americans and perhaps as humans. Anthony Weiner, Elliot Spitzer, Al Franken, you, have lost America the election, and perhaps the life of the planet with incredibly stupid actions. We needed you to be smart, tough and focused. It's why Democrats always lose. And the planet and our species will lose.
EWS
1
I still don’t get what she did wrong
She admitted she had sex with an employee and was credibly accused of having sex with another employee.
Men are fired (and never allowed to work again) for such behavior.
The same should happen to people like Ms. Hill who abuse their power that way.
7
If you did nothing wrong why did you resign and avoid the Congressional ethics probe?
7
You made a choice. And are surprised that other people used it against you.
You had a wonderful agenda, an admirable platform, and you made it to the House. You were someone to watch.
But....you didn’t learn that the higher you go, the less you can trust others.
Blame the patriarchy, blame your husband, blame The System.....but none of them put you in the situations that eventually brought you down.
You did.
Sorry. That will be unpopular here.
But before you run again and ask to be trusted with TS-SCI level material, practice your judgement on the rooms you choose to walk into.
5
Apparently, it’s all about her. Let’s not conflate things here: she resigned from Congress because her affair with a subordinate constitutes ‘sexual harrassment’ The publishing of her photos is terrible, but she did a wrong thing (sexual harassment) and revenge open doesn’t excuse her behavior. If you are still confused, replace the name Donald Trump I’m place of Katie Hill and then it will make sense to you
6
I wish you had kept your seat in the House. You did not have to resign.
You have my sympathies, obviously.
But why do you young people, you young women do this? Allow yourself to be photographed digitally while naked (and doing whatever)?
I am utterly baffled. Utterly. Especially with dreams of being a politician or you already are one, why would you do this? It's like playing Russian Roulette. Time and again, we see it, over and over. and every time I'm like why? why? why?
And don't get me wrong, you should be able to do this without these kinds of consequences. Toddlers should also be allowed to run around on the highway without fear of risk. But there is the world we want, and the world we live in.
So why are you young women allowing naked digital photos of yourselves? What is the payoff?
Utterly. Baffled.
.
8
Let's be clear. Katie Hill was the victim of sexual assault. Revenge porn is tragic. It is repeated, public sexual assault of victim that will live on the internet in perpetuity. Her husband and the individuals who published those photos at Red State should be held criminally liable. I'm disappointed she resigned. She could have led the fight for legislation to protect victims from this horrific form of abuse in the future.
I'm also glad "it’s not all over after all". America needs good people and, simply put, you are one!
1
You are exactly who we need in Congress.
When nothing is certain, anything is possible.
I, along with millions of others, are so glad you live to fight another day.
After her resignation, witness the abhorrent example of the Republican congressman from California who, although now a confessed felon, refuses to vacate his seat. I guess that speaks volumes about his constituents!
3
What an eye opener. Katie, be the fighter that we all need you to be. How despicable that someone would do this to you out of spite or because they disagreed with your politics. We need your voice to overcomes those looking to destroy America. Keep up the good fight. America loves you.
Why is Ms. Hill a heroine? I don’t care that she had an affair. I care that she had an affair with a subordinate. In any job, that is a fireable offense. As a Congresswoman, she was liable to blackmail. Simply put, her behavior was reckless.
7
Ms. Hill: I haven't seen the pictures. I wish you hadn't stepped down but I understand why you did.
i don't understand why she resigned. yes, i "understand", but sex shaming is so 1950's. even if she slept with one of her staffers, it would be inappropriate but i don't think she should be shamed into resigning. after all, if every member were held to the same standard, probably half of congress would be out on the street
The story of the vindictive spouse and two-faced, vituperative townspeople is an old one, repeated in culture after culture. In the bad old days, and in some contemporary cultures, the story ends in stoning. In our culture, right here and right now, we've made internet abuse like this the modern equivalent of stoning. Whoever threatens the patriarchy, or the dominant power structure, is now stoned via the internet. Don't stand for this abuse. Call it out when it happens to you, and when it happens to those you know. And if you know the perpetrators, shame them.
Regards Duncan Hunter supporters/many Republicans, is your character an issue in other areas? Mine is .
A very unfortunate situation. Your voice was needed.
That which doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.
Be strong, Ms. Hill!
1
Well...Hmmm.
Okay, a few points. SOMEONE released those photos. None of them showed former Rep. Hill "naked" in any obscene sense that I saw. She was "naked" but sensitive parts were blurred or blacked out.
There were two scandalous things:
1. She was clearly having an affair with a campaign staffer and her husband.
2. She was also holding a bong in one photo.
Imagine if, say, a presidential candidate, oh, maybe one named Gary Hart or John Edwards, had been found to be having an affair? Hart was torpedoed by reporting on the affair and a photo of him fully clothed with the woman in question. Prince Andrew was torpedoed by a photo with his arm around the waist of a 17-year-old and her completely unsubstantiated accusations of an affair.
I honestly don't care about Hill's sex life. I'm okay with her and the congressional staffer her husband seems to think she was fooling around with. I care about her politics.
But until some of these politicians stand up to all of this, completely refuse to resign, they are paving the road for these efforts to destroy them to continue.
That said, had the photos merely been Rep. Hill nude with no accusations of the "thruple," there would have been riots in the streets to support her. The photos were evidence. The uncomfortable sexual politics was the knife that cut her career short.
2
The moment that I first read about this, I was struck (not for the first time) by how ridiculous the reaction was to the naked photos. Why do we as an advanced society still display such hypocritical - and fake - "moral outrage" about a person enjoying their sexuality? Ms. Hill seems like a kind, intelligent, and well-spoken person. She will continue doing big things throughout her life.
1
The moment that I first read about this, I was struck (not for the first time) by how ridiculous the reaction was to the naked photos. Why do we as an advanced society still display such hypocritical - and fake - "moral outrage" about a person enjoying their sexuality? Ms. Hill seems like a kind, intelligent, and well-spoken person. She will continue doing big things throughout her life.
I’m reminded of a wry, and perhaps wise comment someone posting here at the NYT made at the time of Ms Hill’s ordeal. This person said something to the effect that they wished Ms Hill had said “Yes, that’s me in the picture. And I had an affair. And I’m not stepping down.”
Of course, it’s not that easy.
Well, actually, for some it is.
If I was still working as a therapist and mental health center director I would share your essay with my staff and suggest it would be something they ought to consider giving to their clients who find themselves in similar situations.
As a teaching tool for therapists working with those who find themselves about to make irrevocable life changing decisions, like you did about resigning, I would use it to explore alternatives they could review with their clients.
The worst time to make a decision, like you did, is in the midst of emotional turmoil. If it was at all possible to take a hiatus instead I believe that might have been the best decision, and one you may come to regret not making. I do not mean this to be critical of what you did by resigning because I can see how desperate you felt to remove yourself from the spotlight and do what what the crucial thing to do, i.e. to engage in healing yourself.
I am glad you had the support of family and friends, but I want to emphasize that as a therapist I would have encouraged you to put your resignation on hold and get yourself into therapy. If you came to my old MH center as the supervisor I would have assured you had the most appropriate therapist who would start by seeing you immediately two or three times a week.
I hope you have or will get into therapy to deal with your feelings about what happened. Consider exploring re-engaging in the political battle again as someone who has healed from a traumatic experience.
2
Coincidentally, I just watched the movie Long Shot with Charlize Theron and Seth Rogen last night. Pretty spot-on.
1
Katie, thanks for your honesty, which will hopefully give strength to other women who are afraid to leave toxic relationships. I wonder how many older women who are finally released from these toxic relationships....traded in for younger women to abuse and control, are living in poverty, forgotten by this society that only seems to value youth and beauty.? I believe there are many. Many of us tolerate these toxic relationships because we have been convinced that breaking up the family should be avoided at all cost. It’s very complicated, but having had my own experience with a narcissistic, projecting, gas-lighting, controlling husband and now being free for almost a decade, there is life after a toxic relationship, it’s not without pain and growth. And there can be real joy. The difficult part is to trust again and more importantly to avoid becoming entangled in another toxic relationship. For me, it’s about having good females friends and maintaining a close relationship with my son. Katie, I think in your Op-Ed piece you may find your new purpose...advocating for the many women who have fallen between the cracks, who are weary and broken from years of abuse, and are forgotten, all because of a toxic relationship.
3
The real losers in this are your former constituents, because clearly you're a very good leader with strong ideals who would have accomplished much for your district and beyond. But you're very right: no bets are off, many other doors surely will open for you in time, and Congress isn't the sole battlefield in which you can make a big difference on behalf of the public.
Best wishes to you.
2
Lead this fight Katie! The world has changed so much since I was your age. Cameras have captured private moments of so many who never imagined a future in which those images could be used against them through threatened or actual widespread distribution. As a woman, as a mother of a daughter your age, I'm with you in this fight against cyber bullying and exploitation. It's a ticking time bomb for too many.
2
Hill comically overestimates her wonderfulness and appeal. What, precisely, is at all unique about her political appeal? She's had her 15 minutes and got caught in the same meat-grinder as so many other budding politicians, from Weiner on down. I wish her well in her new career, whatever it might be.
7
Ms. Hill explored her sexuality with another consenting adult. There is nothing wrong with that, nor is celebrating one’s sexuality I’ll advised, far from it. Publicizing intimate moments of her life was an invasion of her privacy. Her courage and grace inspire me.
4
An elected public servant admits to an unethical and likely illegal relationship with one subordinate. He is then accused of another inappropriate relationship but resigns before the truth can be investigated. He tries to blame his immaturity and ethical failings on his ex-wife, who he says is neurotic and was threatening to ruin him. He can't explain why he lacked the courage to end this relationship or explain how the ex could ruin him absent other unethical behavior that she could disclose. After resigning, he paints himself as a victim. What do you think of him?
7
Ms Hill is no longer in Congress because of cyber exploitation?
3
I am confused - if the photos were taken without her awareness or consent, what did she think her husband meant by his threat to ruin her? I wish she would explain how the photos were taken without her awareness. Personally, I’m a little skeptical of this claim (though regardless her sleazy, vindictive husband should go to prison for 10 years if he is responsible.)
4
Who was it that said to an angry mob to look into their hearts before casting that first stone?
I hold the Nazarene’s story as a soothing fiction, a balm for the open wound we call the human condition but I know wisdom when I see it.
Hold your head high Ms. Hill., love, truth and beauty are still yours to have.
I'm not sure what the "crime" was here, and I'm getting tired of one party playing by a set of rules that includes lying, bribery, indictments, assaulting reporters, repeating the nonsense spewed by trolls, and the other party holding its members, or in this case holding themselves, to a much loftier standard. You are not the same at 16 as you are at 30, and your choice of partner should be allowed to change without destroying your life. As for affairs with staffers, can we PLEASE get back to the "consenting adults" standard of behavior, at least when both people agree that was the case? Ms Hill is guilty of nothing except opening the door for Red State's revolting trolling.
The attorney general of the USA has just decided to throw a $30,000 party for himself in his boss's hotel. While no one wants to see any nude pictures of either of them, it's still a far juicier scandal than a young congresswoman trying to separate herself from a man she has struggled to be free of for years...
3
Meanwhile, Duncan Hunter plans to resign from Congress. Soon. After the holidays. Or whenever he gets around to it.
3
I have not seen and will not endorse a swamp dweller's actions by looking at the nude photos. What I can assure you of by seeing you fully clothed, is that it could have been much worse. You could have had a figure like me. My dear I too have a swamp man attached to my life. Millions of woman do. We will never give up the fight. One could easily win the debate that every woman in the world has a swamp man attached to their lives now in the form of the USA President. The whole world admired the USA. We strove to be like the USA. It has devastated many lives to experience the truth of the USA electoral college Swamp. God bless you in your fight. The whole world is fighting alongside you in your fight and every American who recognize the real swamp now in power. Vote people! Vote in 2020 and forever after! Get up and vote!
2
One of the greatest — and to me, most disturbing and counterproductive — consequences of the internet age is the rise of lynch mobs wielding figurative pitchforks and claiming purported moral purity.
On both left and right, righteous judgment has become a coin of the realm, a stone hurled in anger and blindness to one's own moral failings. This, I believe, is cancerously exacerbated by online anonymity.
I'm not a Christian, but one of the more valuable things Jesus of Nazareth is supposed to have said is, "Let him who is without sin cast the first stone."
1
You're a strong young woman Katie and you've already made things better for other people. Maybe you won't be in Congress but I know you'll keep doing good work and making peoples' lives better. Thanks for what you do.
After reading this, I'm not sure why Ms. Hill resigned. Naked pictures? So what? My understanding was that it was related to an inappropriate relationship with a co-worker. I'm confused!
6
I was saddened to read that Katie glossed over her suicidal thoughts and actions in the bathtub with a downed bottle of wine to match. Katie you have been through much trauma. The behavior which led to your resignation whether politically legally or morally wrong —it is all irrelevant at this point. You owe to yourself and the people that love and support you to find a professional to speak with. I hope the pain lessens with time and your fight continues. I wish you good health.
1
Clearly, Katie Hill sees herself as a victim. However, I do not.
If she did not pose for nude photos and if private correspondence was hacked, why not stay in office and open a criminal investgation and clear her name?
The fact is being a Representative is a difficult, demanding job. She had a tremendous opportunity, which she squandered, by her illict, dramatic personal life.
Elected officials are subjected to far greater scrutity than the average American. Why do or say anything (including cheat on your husband) or send illict texts that you wouldn't want public?
With all the sex, texts and high drama, how could she have stayed focused on her job?
It is hard enough to have a healthy work/life balance without all these juvenile, illict scandels going on.
Sue to organization that published the photos, press criminal charges against your husband, fight back; instead of playing the victim card. As a member of Congress, hacking your accounts is a major criminal offense. It should be traceable.
At the end of the day, she squandered an exceptional opportunity to make a significant contrubution to her constituents and the County.
No sympathy here.
6
Aren't 'Smart' phones nice? The Stradivarius of acumulated human knowledge as well as signs suggesting our species is periously close the Darwinian natural selection that thinned the groups of our hunter-gathering ancestors. The inattentive unwittingly saved the rest through making it easy for predators. Perhaps religious and secular thinkers can agree that anyone's 'God' is wherever attention spends the most time. It is heartbreaking to see couples, families, and groups of friends in diners and coffee shops staring or pecking at their own phones; Who hasn't watched an aquantance experience visible withdrawal as minutes pass without obeying that ping - our dog whistle? It screams 'Your company isn't as interesting as my personal world of messages, texts, 'likes', dating apps, etc'. Maybe 999 out of a thousand are on-call trauma surgeons. Smart Phones are a miraculous tool for those who use it as intended. Is it narcissism that documents what immediate and future descendants will access fairly easy? Did folks commonly use tape recorders or 8mm wind-ups to record their sex life? Kinda distracting? Every key stroke, photo, video, text, etc. is accessible to anyone. I hope Katie continues transforming this painful lesson in part by perhaps suggesting smart phones have zero entitlement or place in the bedroom. I don't like gender comparrisons but I wonder to what extend the tar and feather folks would have taken this were it a male - stupidity swings both ways.
2
You did the right thing in resigning. Who wants to live and work in an environment that relishes destroying anyone on the other side? You are young, intelligent, clearly capable, and hard working. There are many, many ways you can just put your head down, work hard, and make a difference in the lives of others. So go do that. I get that your ex likely did this: it had to be someone who could get access to you in private moments. On the other hand Donald Trump 'repeatedly denies'. If the affair absolutely did not happen, say so. 'Repeatedly denied' is , in my book, a way of making it look like something that did happen didn't. Face the reality of your situation: Those on the left are evil. Those on the right who do the same, exact thing you did are 'misunderstood' and the left is out to destroy them. You will always be wrong. they will always be right. Katie Hill...time heals all wounds. Yours included. So move on, do great things, and always , always completely finish what you started before beginning something new. And don't look back. Only ahead.
1
Katie Hill sounds as if she thinks she was elected to university student council instead of the United States House of Representatives.
Her bisexuality is not the issue. Having sexual relationships with subordinates in the House is.
Other representatives have resigned after naked pictures are put out on the internet. Even heterosexual men cheating on their wives. Why should she get to hide behind 'woman', 'bisexual' 'revenge porn'?
If a Republican man were caught in the same situation with the same accusations, Katie Hill would be the first to the barricades.
Katie Hill is of the generation that seeks no consequences. If they break rules, its the rules that are bad. If they are punished the same as others in the past, they are still the victims. Somehow. Always.
I shudder to think anyone in her generation will ever lead this country.
10
Why does society still make such a big deal about the naked human body? A puritanical sense of shame has surely fuelled the hysteria about nude pictures on the internet.
However, having a sexual relationship with a subordinate at work is probably post-Weinstein unacceptable for any gender.
2
Ms hill - you lost me at the bath water and candles. I started reading hoping to learn why you wanted to be in Congress, your priorities and what you hoped to achieve. But no - all I heard was woe is me. I don’t think you are ready to hold this high office.
9
" . . . I wasn’t done — I was just moving to another battlefield. I closed my speech, saying: “We will not stand down. We will not be broken. We will not be silenced. We will rise, and we will make tomorrow better than today . … I yield the balance of my time for now, but not forever.”
Fighting the current cruel crop of brokers who now have "power over" so many common people is about to change.
This is a new day for our planet and America.
Their time is up --- from Putin to Assad to MBS; from Trump to Erdogan to WilliamBarr --- and beyond . . .
November 2020.
1
This reminds me so much of the Al Franken situation. Back then I thought two things. I thought that he had not done anything at all horrible and I thought that he needed to resign promptly. Why? I thought there would be a number of Minnesota voters who had voted for him before who would not agree with me about his behavior and would not vote to reelect him. Minnesta is a bluish purple state these days. Tina Smith (D), who was appointed to succeed Frankel, ran as incumbant and won the special election for the seat in 2018. Maybe Frankel would have won his next election, maybe not. He apparently did not think it was a chance worth taking.
I have the same view about Katie Hill. By all reports she was doing the job she had promised to do. Nude pictures maliciously made public should not terminate a career. However, she won her seat in a hard fought battle and could lose it if enough voters see this as a reason to vote her out. I think she did the right thing for her party and moreover for her couuntry.
Can you imagine if a male House Representative in a similar situation had the compunction to write this?
Sadly, it’ll never happen.
3
Katie did nothing wrong at all. I'm sorry she felt the need to quit, although I'd have probably done the same thing. Life is too short to be harassed by hate-filled Internet trolls and the vile cowards in her home town.
The best and only good news in this is she is still going to fight. Happily, she is a powerful woman who will make her mark in the future as well as now.
"...taken without my knowledge and distributed without my consent..."
I don't often have my picture taken, but when I do, I smile and wear clothes. Stay dressed my friends.
Ms. Hill, it will be awhile before anyone takes you seriously.
6
I watched Katie on a Vice News special as they followed her around while she campaigned. She represented the district where my wife grew up. We even followed her results, not living in California.
But, I really cannot believe some of the material in the photos. When men are eviscerated and removed from public life, the same machine should engulf everyone equally. No one gave Louis C.K a column.
5
In two of these photos, you are looking directly at the camera, so taken without your consent - I don't think so. It's a bit scary to think that a member of Congress with a seat on the very sensitive Armed Services Committee could be so deeply thoughtless about the potential risks your carelessness might have caused. What might have happened if, instead of the photographer having posted your nude photos online they had sold them to Russia to blackmail you?
6
If a Congressman was caught sleeping with his staffers, the rest of Congress and the media would have called for his head from the start. Doubly so if he's a Republican.
6
Katie, for goodness’ sake, don’t let this destroy you. You will undoubtedly sink to some very low lows - but you will also rise above them. Someday this will be history, and you will be making your mark again. My advice: Let this go awhile, then run again. We’d like to see you in Congress again someday. There are people there now who have done a lot worse than you have - remember that. They are MEN, and you must show that women can be human and can keep their power. Go for it. Get it together, then RUN, RUN again. Go for it, dear friend.
Katie, committing suicide over this isn't the answer.
Respectfully, I don't agree with having our elected leaders doing anything seen in those photos, frankly.
But the fact remains that you're a human being too, and in any case you should have the right to decide who gets access to your body and who doesn't. That right should never be taken away. Don't ever think for a second that you deserved this. You didn't, and nobody does.
The response you got was horrifying, but not unexpected. But that doesn't mean that you deserve such treatment. Nobody does. But it's a reality in this world we live in that people treat each other horridly, especially women in situations like this.
If anything, there's probably a number of young women who can relate to you, and for many reasons I would say continue to inspire them. There's a lot more young people who have been through events such as this, and yet they will never get the chance to prove themselves worthy past the harassment. Some of them kill themselves. Others overdose and society forgets.
Beat the curve. If anything not for your own sake, but for every young woman out there who sees this and can relate to what you've been through.
If you had killed yourself, how many others would have too?
This op-Ed has some important lessons and nobody deserves to be victims of revenge porn - it’s reprehensible. That said, I couldn’t get through the whole thing because of her self-centered attitude so typical of the political type. The time the word “I” is used is out of control. And how many times does she need to remind us of her “great” accomplishments. It would have been better if she used her experience as a jumping off point for a wider conversation. And if she has some humility as she did violate house ethics rules.
4
Katie, I’m 60 now. When I was 30 I left an abusive, controlling husband. There was no internet or cell phones and my world was smaller than yours. But my ex reeked havoc on my life and friends and family. My world came crashing down. I had no privacy. I was humiliated. I ended up hospitalized for a few days. Like you I had to decide to move forward. Thus began a transformation. I shed my old life. It took time. I had flashbacks of the humiliation for years. Countless women have walked this path and will light the way for you. Good luck on your lawsuit. Let’s smash the patriarchy!
644
Thank you for your honesty and bravery. Unfortunately politics is cruel and so many forget civility matters to many. What knocks genuine souls down makes us stronger, and those that harm only smaller. I know little about your journey or this hardship, yet trust that more respect is present than the voices that just react.
Katie,
I am a woman in my 70’s who thinks what happened to you is disgusting and unfair. You are exactly the kind of person this country needs.
It is galling that others including the Trumps have been able to get away with past behaviors that were ignored by those who would attack you. Double standards don’t concern them and you did not seek this undeserved notoriety.
Please continue to stand up to those who want to hold women back by exacting standards of conduct they themselves don’t keep. Many of us are behind you. You should not rule out seeking election in the future.
519
@MG
The Trumps get away with nothing. What they do is they never quit and they never surrender.
Katie quit and gave up the most powerful job she will ever have. She quit when she could have used this episode to make gains for women everywhere. If women are not going to fight for themselves what good is it for anyone to fight for them? Do women really think that a bunch of nude pictures are all that bad in 2019?
9
You shouldn't have quit, but I understand why. You showed great grace and class by not naming your ex-husband in this article. He didn't deserve that, but you recognized his humanity and showed your mettle. Good luck.
Ms. Hill paints herself as a victim, yet she is the one who victimized a staffer. Shameful.
10
@LB
Yep, while she has denied the affair with the Congressional staffer, she had a sexual relationship with a campaign subordinate worker. She has admitted this. It’s just the sort of predatory act that MeToo has rightly called out.
5
Have not seen the photos of which you speak. While tempted to I want to honor your moral decision to do the right thing and trust that you have learned from your mistakes--hope to see your name again in politics.
Congress was lucky to have Rep. Hill. She’ll be back in some way, shape, or form, and I cannot wait to support her when that happens. She gives young women like me hope.
I also do wonder what our future elections will look like as younger people run for office. Many young people have taken nude photos, how will we as a society prevent revenge porn in the political landscape and how will we react when it happens?
Your president has done worse and he’s still in his job.
@Gazbo Fernandez
Yep, and he should suffer for his acts. As should Hill for having a workplace sexual relationship with a subordinate working on her campaign.
4
Comebacks are good!
This is a smart and dedicated person who got caught in something that 90% of those in the same place get to shrug off, apologize and get back in the game.
To say that scenario is harder for women doesn't begin to cover it.
So, Ms. Hill, shake it off, take a walk, reconsider your options, take a hike, gather your friends around you.
And C'mon on back.
I am so often reminded of Ginger Rogers. Yes, indeed, most women today are doing what the guys do. But in high heels and backwards!----and often with a toddler in hand.
(writing under my husband's subscription) I can not see what you did wrong. Affair or not (I don't think any unattached man in your position has ever been publicly shamed for having an affair). You were victimized like so many women before you. I've never seen a man's nude pictures posted on Twitter unless he posted them himself! So once this blows over, you can run for public office again. Luckily you have a supportive family who cares about you. This silly scandal (although so painful for you) will soon be forgotten.
I am sorry you resigned. The country needs more people like you.
There is a Jewish word for a strong moral person, Mensch. You embody that word to your core. Your travails will not bring you down, only make you stronger. What a shining example for all of the other women who will be confronted with the misogyny you have endured. In doing so you are indeed carrying on with the fight.
What an absolutely terrible thing to do a person. I can only hope that her husband or whoever did this to this woman gets mental assistance as soon as possible.
Brava!
Run for Congress again!
A lot of comments seem to miss the point that what happened to Katie Hill was not her fault--and was not something she could have prevented. Many seem to believe that she violated House ethics rules--she didn't. Others seem to believe that she was forced out by House leadership--she wasn't.
There's no fun to be had in having your naked image published for the entire world to see. Nor was Hill posing for the camera. Her estranged husband caught her unawares, then claimed that his computer was "hacked" by someone who gave the images to Red State and the Daily Mail.
Revenge porn is a serious issue in our interconnected world, and it affects mostly women of all political persuasions. Laura Ingraham was famously the victim of revenge porn when an ex-boyfriend posted an intimate photo of her much younger self on the internet. It's impossible to get rid of these images completely, so it may well be viewed by Ingraham's grandchildren.
We need to stop finger-wagging and take the issue seriously. What Katie Hill did wrong was to have an affair with a campaign staffer, and she's apologized. Because this occurred before her tenure in the House, it was never the subject of an ethics complaint. Her estranged husband claimed that she had an affair with a House staffer (which she denied) and the House Ethics Committee was investigating. However, this is the same angry man who published the photos and threatened to destroy her.
It is over, actually. You exhibited serious lack of judgment in your position as a then-sitting member of Congress. You've resigned. And now it's time to move on to something else in your life and career. Good luck to you, Ms. Hill.
7
There is one good solution to what they did. Go back and run for Congress again. You did nothing wrong. Run and I bet you win.
To paraphrase former Idaho senator Larry Craig, chastising Bill Clinton during the impeachment drama of the 90s, "Katie's been a bad, bad, bad, bad girl."
This, from a man who was arrested in the Minneapolis-St. Paul International Airport for soliciting gay sex in a toilet stall.
Hypocrisy abounds on Capitol Hill, Katie. Hang in there. All the world's a stage and the people merely actors.
Her mistake is that she made a pact with Old Scratch: the Democratic party. The party of supreme "virtuousness" demands a pound of flesh from all those who show any signs of impurity. Come over to the Republicans where we will welcome your imperfections and human frailties. Next time take a page from the Trump book and never apologize for being flawed - double down the scorn for your hypocritical accusers.
1
If I as a man had my phone hacked and naked pictures of me published, I would be angry at the infringement but otherwise they helm with them.
It is wrong that that is not true for a woman.
Let us all enact a law that publication of unauthorized ‘indecent’ photos should be billable, as if it were a major advertisement, to everyone who published it. Let ‘porn’ pictures commonly run to multimillion dollar Billings and I guarantee you it will become rare.
A nude model gets paid. She or he signs for permission to use it for a given fee each time or forever.
Let us bill every revenge porn photo at full ‘value’ wherever stored or published. $ speak better than laws.
2
I encourage you to run again for the same seat.
Reportedly there are many more nude and sexual photos. But, in a way, you've already crossed that bridge. Let the rest of them come out. OWN them. You're a sexual adult that was in a relationship with other adults. So what?
You smoked pot. So what?
People have seen you naked. Welcome to California.
So run again. Let the voters be the judge of whether you should step down. This country needs good people like you.
So, where's the other side. She wrote ethics rules for relationships with staffers. She then broker those rules, her own rules and decided to step down. The revenge porn had nothing to do with resigning. Always find out all the facts.
7
@Warren
Well, she denies having a sexual relationship with a Congressional staffer, so the Congressional ethics haven’t been violated if she’s telling the truth.
She’s HAS admitted a sexual relationship with a campaign subordinate worker. Not under Congressional rules, but still a violation in today’s MeToo world.
2
I believe Ms. Hill should have looked straight into the camera and said "You peeping Toms had your thrill, now get over it." Then walk back to her office and continue working.
1
I'm sorry, Ms. Hill, I watched your last speech on the House floor on C-SPAN and it only angered me as you portrayed yourself as a victim, much as you do in this article. In this #MeToo age, women should be held to account for their actions the same as men. You were having a relationship with an underling on your campaign staff; while it may not be illegal, it is certainly unethical. Then you were accused of having an affair with an underling on your congressional staff. Despite your denials to reporters, you decided to resign rather than testify under oath before the House Ethics Committee, where you could have faced a perjury charge if your denial was found to be untrue. I'm sorry your nude pics were published so that others could see them, but this should be a good lesson to other girls and women not to allow such pics to be taken in the first place. I know you say they were taken without your consent, but I'm dubious about that since you don't look shocked in any of the images. These will be forgotten in time; they probably already are. As for your political career, you're mistakes in judgment led to where you are now. No one else is to blame. Good luck to you
6
Please. If you felt so much a victim, why did you resign?
The truth is, you represent the moral rot that exists in far to many dark corners of our political organizations.
Steven Covey said it best - your private morality eventually becomes your public morality. And you try to change everybody else's sense of morality to make your own seem acceptable.
5
Katie: you deserve a whole box of bright red lipsticks!
The fact is that a number of you sitting in judgement of Ms.Hill posting mean spirited commentary are likely hypocrites. You might want to be glad that walls cannot talk the cameras were not rolling when you were engaged in similar untoward behavior.
Frankly as they say when Clinton lied no one died - people will generally get over a sex scandal. Should she have resigned? Does her acts and the result make her tragic or just stupid? I don't know. I do know people should mind their own business and do unto others as they would prefer to be treated. Obviously she was married to the wrong person.
Only a few get elected to the House — but the rest of us are in the fight too, without the pulpit of The New York Times.
1
Like most women under 50, my husband has intimate photos of me. If you're over 50, perhaps there are some Polaroids you'd rather never saw the light of day. When a married couple trust each other that completely, they aren't contemplating what might happen 5 years later when their marriage falls apart. No one plans for divorce when they're in love.
So for those calling her "reckless" or suggesting she's shown poor judgment, is it reckless to trust your husband?
We'll never know who is at fault for the failure of their marriage. And frankly, it's none of our business. But we DO know who is at fault for destroying Ms. Hill's career with revenge porn. And it wasn't Ms. Hill.
We absolutely can not allow ourselves to start making exceptions or justifications for that behavior. No one gets to say, "But he/she deserved it." Most people reading this have shared intimate photos with their husbands and wives. Are you comfortable with the idea that they can be used to chain you to a broken or abusive marriage? That an ex-husband or ex-wife will always be able to bring you down if they choose? That this threat will hang over you for the rest of your life?
If not, then support Ms. Hill, and other victims of revenge porn. Ask your representative to sponsor legislation that puts an end to it.
479
@Revelwoodie
"Like most women under 50, my husband has intimate photos of me. "
Taken with, or without, your knowledge or consent? Ms. Hill said those of her were taken without her knowledge.
Perhaps we need a new term: marital privacy rape.
39
@Revelwoodie Revemge porn is a felony in Washington State; Hill is clearly a victim.
36
@Doug McKenna
Men and women being the emotional creatures that they are, these kinds of pictures will always be made. But what we can all recognize is that revenge porn is an attack on reputation and a violation of intimacy that should reverberate back on the miscreants who do this kind of thing. There are laws on the books and there are laws yet to be written, but if women don't fight these things those laws will never come about. Its all about the fighting, not the pictures.
22
Stay strong Katie! There are too many double standards on sexual behavior in this country. You don’t deserve the scarlet letter. Women are still taking the brunt of sexist social “norms.” I am so glad that you did not take your own life. It’s heartbreaking that you were in such a low place. Clearly you have regrets—many do. You have a purpose in life and you deserve to be here. Keep fighting!
256
@Cheryl Howard
She could have kept fighting by staying in Congress. Now she is just another what's her name.
Very powerful and so proud of you you shared this ! The best is yet to come for you warrior !
Your remarks confirm your fine intelligence.
Please walk into your future with confidence.
There is no doubt that you have important contributions to make.
1
Please run again... Please... We need you, your leadership, now more than ever...
1
Run again.
1
I think you made a mistake resigning. You should have stayed. You made some errors in judgement but what did you really do wrong? I am very glad you are brave in describing your thoughts of suicide. Maybe your story will help others.
2
Would you please take responsibility for yourself? Yes, people did you wrong. But you made a number of mistakes for which you are paying a very high price. They are your mistakes- nobody else’s.
Many men today also have paid a high price for sexual indiscretions. Just read the newspaper.
Stop whining about the consequences of your actions. You’re still young. Move forward with your life.
Many of us are simply sick and tired of people playing the victim.
7
Katie, my kids went to high school and middle school where you did. One is 5 years older than you. The other is 4 years younger than you. We lived in a nice suburban house off a street called Rainbow, near where you grew up. That community is in the heart of what was your Congressional District. Respectfully, though you were elected in Simi Valley-Santa Clarita-Palmdale you clearly did not understand the level of Republicanism, anti-Semitisim and anti-LGBTQ sentiment in your own District
It's a Congressional District where extreme right wing Republicans have been knifing more moderate Republicans for 20+ years. It's a Congressional District where Democrat women elected officials, like our mutual acquaintance Lyn, have been under seige by paid Republican thugs and wackos for more than 20 years.
The local Repubs were incensed when you won with huge outsider funding of your campaign
There's a saying in the 25th District that a woman politician has to behave like a nun to keep her elected post. One of my kids, a US Senate employee, was smart enough to know that said you were toast when your bad press started.
Perhaps you were too naive to know all that when you ran
The Daily Mail likes sleaze & won a lawsuit like yours just a few years ago. Republican operatives knew that and took you out with little effort. You should have better handled your high school boyfriend/husband's feelings and not left yourself and your parents open for such embarrassment
You were a fool
I feel bad for Ms. Hill. given her ex husband was taking pictures I can't think of a sicker puppy.
Ms. Hill cancelled herself out too quickly i believe but the pressure of revenge porn i can only imagine is devastating.
1
Grow up and behave like an adult and don't have sexual relationships with your subordinates. It's not really that hard. Men and women should be held to the same standards.
Your judgement was poor and you are in a job where your judgement needs to be good. End of.
8
You should have listened to Nancy Pelosi and just toughed it out. You are simply shaming yourself with your own sense of guilt and you don't need to do that.
2
Grow up!
Sexual harassment of a staffer is wrong no matter what shape it takes!
5
I know that dark, deep place of perceived humiliation, utter and bleak. It is a black hole with no walls to support a climb out of it. You "thought about what [you had] lost" and that your "own mistakes had led" to the blocked road fork.
We weren't born with a warranty against mistakes. Nobody escapes them. Your rising above them to continue onward shows a level of integrity and grit qualifying you as a dues fully-paid member of the human race. You are finding the other, unblocked fork.
It is the people knawing at your ankles, behaving atrociously who have failed to make the humanity cut. There are many more of them than there are of you. This is why the organized nastiness of political extremism finds it so easy to recruit lemmings to give shape to their sorry malcontentment.
This is why we have a president whose daily comportment would fail the test of a mother's discipline of an errant child. This is why we should be more afraid than Europe was in the early 1930s. This is why we need you back in the fray, Ms. Hill, wherever you deem fit to serve.
2
Quite a but if husband blaming. I'd like to hear his side of the story. I understand he declined to comment, and the Times probably isn't all that interested in publishing him anyway. I'd like to see a man talk this way about his toxic spouse and the Times print it. This newspaper is so grossly gender-based. I'm glad she resigned, she was too immature for that position. If Al Franken needs to go, so do you......Sen. Gillibrand, where are you now?
3
Katie you are brave. It's astonishing how many comments are questioning her so called lack of maturity.
2
I am so glad you wrote this peice, it is so honest and inspiring. I am still livid you had to write it and are not in congress right now dealing with impeachment. What a bunch of stupid, shallow haters your furies are. I loath them. Your private life is just that, private and no one's business, you broke no rules. And I am glad you will use their hideousness to make yourself even stronger.
What a terrible country we live in now. It is truly like Arthur Miller's play The Crucible. Do you know the Miss America scandal about the actress Vanessa Williams? She has had a great life as will you.
3
Perhaps she might contact Monica Lewinsky for some advice.
1
Can't you do some kind of, and sorry for such a pitiful lack of better words, a penance tour, and run again?
Ms. Hill is a brave, smart and strong woman. She's a bright light, to me unscathed by the detritus of right-wing cowards, criminals, hypocrites, misogynist males and self-hating women who've found a home at the bottom of a red-colored sewer.
2
If you were say a certain US male president in the 90’s or our current male president, you’d of course be still in office despite the relationship
Or say a male talk show host who paid for a prostitute with a check and later was able to become a mayor of a major US city
there’s no currency in seeing those idiots naked and they are men so they are doing what men do according to our stupid rules that men wrote and they get away with it
I do hope over time that naked pictures of people are completely de-commoditized as a threat against women in the sense that the next generation doesn’t care
Good luck and you shouldn’t be ashamed of anything
3
In this day and age of corrupted and empty morality ala Trump, what Rep. Hill did was meaningless and in no way necessitated resigning.
She went the way of Al Frankenstein, another important democrat who shouldn’t have stepped down.
Democrats, enough with the purity tests. Your country needs you.
I think of the liar, grifter, thief, and white supremacist who is our President. I think of Roy Moore who abused underage girls and still ran. I think of Re in Nunes who is intimately involved with the criminality of the Ukraine scandal while simultaneously leading the Republican contingency of the very hearings for which he is a suspect.
Come on, democrats. You deserve better. You deserve to stay. You’re good, honest people. Which is why you’re so hard on yourselves.
But in a way, your unflagging personality morality is out of place in this political climate, and to this liberal frankly comes off as a little selfish. “Oh, Woe is my and my wicked ways. Let me flog myself”.
Let me take the whip away. And give you a high five. And thank you for your service. And plead with you to get back to work. We need you.
2
apparently she misses the point of it all. you cannot have a sexual relationship with a subordinate in the workplace. over the last few weeks we saw two careers come to an end over this. instead of accepting responsibility for her actions she wants us to feel bad for her. it's a two way street young lady not a one way going your wsy
6
Fight, Katie, fight!
1
Trump doesn't quit. Republicans don't quit. Democrats scurry off like roaches when the lights are turned on after being forced out, wait for it, by their own caucus colleagues, even before the ink on an accusation is dry. You want to be in the fight, then be in it. But don't run out of the ring the moment you get caught by a punch, and then cry about how unfair it was that you chose to leave. Dems don't have weak chins; they have no chins.
1
Where is Melania Trump telling her husband’s supporters who spread this revenge porn to “be best”? Oh wait...
1
Go Katie!!!!!!!!
Congresswoman Hill, I love your piece for many reasons, partly because it signals a positive and beautiful change in the younger generation toward destigmatizing personal pain and struggle, of taking the shame out of walking authentically through life. Please I hope you do not take to heart the few truly shameful judgmental comments here. These mindsets are on the wane. We are not disqualified from jobs or public service, our value is not diminished because our lives include drama that people find out about or we're willing to acknowledge. The criteria of always maintaining a stable or "normal" or at least hidable personal life as a marker for maturity or "leadership" or morality or even productivity ...is repugnant to equity and social justice. I applaud your decisions now to take care of yourself and your decisions to share in this way your harrowing experience almost as it's happening, with honesty, authenticity. it is a gift to me and so many of your readers whose lives are not always easy or perfect. "Drama" and struggle, and grappling in real time with a present personal tragedy should not disqualify a person from leadership; otherwise we are disprotionately disqualifying women, people of color, LGBTQI, the not wealthy, and of course young people. Please do not take to heart the snarky and judgmental comments here. Thank you for helping our society to grow by sharing with us in this way. I hope you are feeling better. Please take care. In respect and support, ...
1
thank you Ms Hill,
you're a fallible human being.
just like the rest of us.
i'm hoping you stay on a path of service and keep shining a light on what is wrong and how to keep moving forward when curling up makes sense.
peace & love to you!
1
Thank you, Ms Hill for your honesty and integrity. You are at the beginning of the race with much hard training behind- and ahead of you. We look forward to hearing more from you! Onward!
2
First, I want to thank former Representative Hill, for her courage in and out of office. I can't imagine going through that.
Second, we just need to accept as a society that these types of photos are normal. Taking them, and sending them to loved ones, is normal. Spending time naked with loved ones is normal. We all have cameras on our pockets. These kinds of photos are inevitable. The victims are under no fault of their own, even if they gave the perpetrator the pictures. Enough slander campaigns.
310
@RMurphy I agree with you. While the picture may be normal and sharing them with the "loved ones" is OK, when that "loved one" decides that it is OK to trash some one with that picture it is not OK. It really says nothing about people like Katie Hill but it speaks volumes about the person, in this case her ex-husband, and what a louse he is. I mean he really needs to grow up and act like an adult. She is fortunate beyond measure to be rid of some one who would do this to her, although it may not feel that way at the present time. I hold her in the highest regard for meeting this very difficult situation head on.
27
@really fishy lady A louse is really too mild a term for her husband. And it is beyond belief that his computer just happened to be hacked by someone looking for nude photos that could be published by right wing ... I am not able to use the word I would like to.
25
@RMurphy Courage? When the road got rough, sh instead of staying the course and fighting she runs away. That is cowardice in my book.
Onward, Katie! There is not a person on the planet who has not made mistakes - some of them big mistakes. I watch AC360 every night and always enjoyed hearing your compassionate and intelligent commentary and seeing your sensitive face when answering questions. The joy you feel when you find a new path will be commensurate with the anguish you have felt dealing with the loss of your position in Congress. You can find a new path and I believe you will - we'll be happy when you do.
2
Meanwhile, while cheating on his pregnant wife with a porn star Donald Trump continues to hold the presidency and Bill Clinton keeps on giving speeches and holding court as an influencer. Double standard. She should have kept her seat.
5
I would just like to expand on your comment by saying that both the men you mentioned also cheated on their country and one of them, Trump, is still doing it.
The fact is it's far harder to unseat a president. Dozens of Congressmen have been brought down by affairs, which are especially damaging when they are with a subordinate, which hers was, since that is an abuse of power. Why should she receive special treatment or sympathy? She behaved very inappropriately and unprofessionally. It's the young subordinate that she had a sexual relationship with, and pulled into her very toxic unstable marriage that I feel sorry for. The young woman is only a student, and according to the texts that were released she has struggled psychologically to deal with the fallout.
1
can we please get a trigger warning for this article?
3
Give 'em hell, Katie. I mean that.
2
This is a difficult story. Most of us have seen or read parts or all of it in the media, and some may not want to revisit it.
But Ms Hill has earned the right to submit her experience to the public in a way that can be quietly considered-- there are some lessons here. Women feel they must tolerate abusive partners when they know that retaliation can bring devastating consequences, even death. Ms. Hill felt she had to reliquish her seat in Congress after her husband's base, classless behavior.
She stepped through those fires of hell and survived her husband's wrath, but not before a suicide attempt ,started, that she stopped herself from carrying out. (There is no air-brush on this story.) This seems to have been her defining moment: she is a survivor. Ms Hill appears to be building what looks like a truer sense of self-respect and resilience.
This is a nice profile in courage, honesty,and humility ... I hope Ms Hill gives her constituents another chance.
1
Your X is a horrible person, I hope karma visits him with little mercy.
You are an extraordinary human being, I hope you will serve again.
2
As a society, we need to stop victimizing others, especially about their private life. We have taken freedom of speech fro destruction and any one can say lies and damn lies without consequences and claim right free speech.
Look at the press, when Biden called a liar a liar, the press went after and said he cannot handle pressure and need to explain his sons being Burisma director which is nothing burger, why? For the press to dissect whatever Biden said into shreds.
When a person cooks up lies and accuses another, they must be held accountable, regardless who they are and made to pay, especially news media. I don't believe, the founding fathers put in freedom of speech so that anyone and everyone can lie, lie and lie.
As far as Katie Hill is concerned you should have left the creep of a husband at 17 and never looked back. He is a scum and will remain a scum. Take him to court, take Daily Mail to court and make them pay for their lies.
1
Rep. Katie Hill's story makes me recall a very painful moment in my life. At work we were asked to bring in baby pictures. I brought one in. It was me at 4 months old, with cross-eyed and a onesie outfit.
Next day I get called into the boss's office. HR is there and all. "You know that baby picture ... it's obscene. Bring another one."
My mouth dropped to the floor. "What? Obscene? I'm four months old."
"But your mouth is open."
"And?"
"It looks like you could be giving a blowjob."
"I AM FOUR MONTHS OLD."
"You're never too young to start."
I was too shocked to say anything. But the misogyny and double standards women face every day knows no bounds.
1
I hope to God you are no longer working at that company. What the heck is wrong with that boss of yours? And HR? Disgusting thoughts being projected onto you, as an infant. If you are still at that company, move on.
@Rita Schmidt I left that company several years ago. To this day I'm shocked that a woman who considered herself "highly educated" would say such things.
1
The one whom sent your private photos for public access is the real scumbag in this story. Your infantile trust in this person was your error and you are paying the price for being caught. You flew too close to the Sun.
The good side is that by standing straight in the glare of publicity, you have defanged those would seek to use it in any future endeavours. Lots of us have undiscovered records which show another side. You have given an alternative to retreating quietly to a corner. Ream out anyone whom you perceive to have betrayed your confidences. Keep on rising.
1
Katie: You are so many of the young women I've taught in my career as a professor. You're brave and beautiful. I'm so glad you're speaking out. I hate that you were harried into resignation. I understand coercive control & deplore how it was leveraged to crush you. Please stay with us. We need your brilliance & passion.
Your experiences are legion - and that's a harsh indictment of our misogynist-to-the-bones society.
I've presided over a classroom while male student-athletes tried to monopolize the discussion by joking about "dick pics." Those pics are only funny if you're the guy who sent them.
Men are not humiliated when they send unsolicited nude pictures. Yet the women who receive them are pummeled by internalized shame.
The men who share nude pictures of women and girls are not shamed or called to account. Indeed, girls under 18 can be prosecuted for producing "child pornography" in most of our states. Most schools and workplaces penalize the girls and women who are victimized while ignoring male culpability.
Women's sexuality is deployed as a weapon.
Were you born female? Let's mock you as unfit for any leadership position! Our voices are too shrill or too nasal. Our shape is too curvy or too androgynous. If we fulfill the beauty ideal (which used to shift every decade but now flips at the speed of Instagram), we're not smart. When we hit middle age, we're invisible, and if we don't fade into the wallpaper we're harridans.
Courage and solidarity to you, Katie!
258
@Patty You speak the truth. Thank you.
15
@Patty did you already forget about Anthony Weiner? I'm not defending him nor am I insinuating that there is equal treatment, but to suggest men are immune is dishonest.
7
@Patty I am a retired high school teacher. Several of my male students were caught disseminating nude pictures of girls who were former girlfriends. All three of them were charged with child pornography. One was a junior; the other two were seniors. None of the girls were charged—why would they be?
9
Ms. Hill could have stayed. No one told her to leave. Many male politicians have faced public humiliations and stayed as their ambition outstripped their mortification. Other than sexual images is there any
difference on the revenge tactics of Jenny Sanford after Mark Sanford's affair or Ms. Hill's husband? Mrs. Sanford got rounds of TV interviews and even a tell-all book out of it. I agree with Ms. Hill that personal lives should be off the table but the media loves these stories and both dems and republicans love to weaponize people's personal lives. [Think Gary Hart & John Edwards.] Unfortunately for Ms. Hill tbe issue for many isnt the sexual details but the power details. The story includes a younger staffer who reported to her. We are now living in the #metoo era. And because of the influence of women, rules are changing and these sorts of boss-underling relationships are understood as inherently problematic. Had Ms Hill been a man the same rules would apply and the photos and story would also be all over the internet. He, however, might have defiantly stayed.
4
Ms. Hill has few assets and no children. Resigning significantly reduces the issues and litigation surrounding her divorce. Being a woman has little to do with it. She can get that divorce wrapped up, return to work and return to politics in a couple of years. I am sure most advisors would have encouraged her to resign. She can use this time to keep her profile high by talking about her humiliation and working on her inevitable book. Being a woman gives her circumstances an attractive narrative that will only make her return easier. She will be OK. She is smart to keep her head straight and follow this low risk strategy.
Learning how to deal with the stress of life is as important a lesson to learn as reading, writing and arithmetic. I applaud Katie for sharing her turmoil. That was a brave and necessary thing to do and it begins with self reflection. Writing ones thoughts down and tackling that abyss head on is key to maintaining a healthy life. I wish her great success and know that she will be a stronger person as a result.
Youth is the best thing this young woman has going for her. I wish she would have thought the issue through before making the decision to resign. Others in Congress have done worse things and survived to maintain their seats. She didn't commit a crime.
Her ex-husband is the one who bears the shame. Private items between adults should remain so.
6
You are so brave, and your story is healing in letting other people with this experience know that they are not alone. May we live to see the day when safety and kindness are revered. When predators see consequences and meet justice. When the most vulnerable among us know protection. Until then, anybody with an ounce of judgement against you can take a hike.
4
On one hand, some will congratulate the former congresswoman for her “courage” in gushing out every bit of her inner life and listing every one of her bad life decisions, as if she were on Oprah and we were the audience. Those would be the people who believe Joy Behar is a political genius. Everyone makes mistakes, it’s true, but not everyone learns from them. It helps a great deal in genuine inner healing, I have found out, to throw off, once and for all, the victim label. Remaining a victim, as the former congresswoman remains, as is clearly evident in her piece, ensures her healing is yet to begin.
6
You and a brave and thoughtful person. And you are the same age as my daughter. Thank you for so clearly and beautifully describing an experience that is all the more tragic today, in a supposedly better world for women. It’s not.
3
I have never commented on NYTimes before but feel the need to now because I assume you are reading comments. I admire your courage. I wish you hadn’t resigned because you were a great representative and the US needs more of you. (And many men have done worse w/o consequence.) I look forward to your next steps and hope to continue to hear your voice.
9
It's not that what she did was wrong but it was unwise. That 'others do it too' is hardly an excuse. Firstly, not all others do. Secondly, some of us would like our representatives to exhibit a certain level of wisdom and discretion. Also, the very fact that she had to resign is an admission that what she did in her 'private' life was a skeleton in her closet. And that such skeletons could be used as a tool to manipulate her. One the one hand some progressives appear to be unyielding purists while on the other hand the very same progressives appear to rush out with excuses for behavior that may undermine the effectiveness of a politician.
5
Sorry you made that choice--although I am sure I'd have done the same. Best of luck to you.
4
And yet Duncan Hunter, despite multiple affairs, multiple counts of misusing campaign funds, etc.., is allowed to resign from Congress on his own terms instead of being forced out by the Republican Party or expelled by the House.
18
I am so impressed with your courage and awareness. I once faced and overcame a recall effort from my city council seat in Missoula over a controversial policy issue. I just put one foot in front of the other and proceeded. I wish you all the best.
6
Thank you Katie for your courage in running for Congress against great odds, serving with honor, and sharing your personal struggle with the public. You are a survivor, someone all women who have faced adversity in their careers can look up to and from whom we can draw inspiration. We are so fortunate to have you in the fight!
7
Sharing nude pictures of any woman without her wish, should be punishable by prison. Please advise me as to sharing nudes of men (probably they would go unacknowledged).
it is important to protect the different roles that men an women play in our society. That does not mean that we should be allowed to take any advantage of either gender, specifically on the basis of those differing roles.
3
@slowaneasy
Yep. She was treated abominably by her husband. And she admits she had a sexual relationship with a workplace subordinate. Both acts are exactly what MeToo is trying to end.
2
I read this piece and then read through it three more times.
There are over 150 "I's" and nearly 100 "me's" or "my's".
There are only about a dozen "we's", five of which appear at the very end as Ms. Hill quotes her final speech in the House.
Is Ms. Hill a victim of a vicious bully? Yes, and I have genuine empathy for her ordeal, having gone through something similar with a neighbor who harassed me for years with no consequences.
Is Ms. Hill a leader? No, she is not--at least not yet. Effective leaders do not proclaim themselves leaders or talk about I, I, I, me, me, me ad nauseam. They are discovered through their relentless and positive actions for change.
Stacy Abrams is a leader, who following her defeat in an unfair election established the Fair Fight initiative to make sure disenfranchised voters will have a voice in future elections.
AOC is a leader, who jumped into Congress and came up with the Green New Deal right off the bat, working with her Senate partner Ed Markey.
Winning a seat in Congress was a huge accomplishment, kudos to Ms. Hill. And she may yet become a true leader, I wish her the best. But she needs a lot more "we" and a lot less "I" to get there.
10
More we and less I? This is an article about HER, about how she was a victim, about how she, as a woman, was exploited by men and forced to resign when there are men who are not forced to do any such thing, about how someone distributed photos of her against her will and how she is the one to pay the price instead of the person who destroyed her.
Of course, this article is peppered with I and not we. If you think it should be otherwise, then you are part of the problem.
16
@Victoria Morgan The article (opinion piece) is all about HER. Precisely. "Peppered" with I? No, saturated.
Yes, she was a victim. A fact. Yes, she was (presumably) abused by a man, presumably her ex-husband (men?).
She chose to resign when faced with a House Ethics Committee inquiry, she was not "forced" to resign.
Yes, men in even higher places of power have done and are doing worse than what she is alleged to have done, as she proclaimed in her last speech to Congress.
But those men are not real leaders. And we all know it.
Expressing what happened in terms of “I” , “me” or “my” is a truthful recounting of a horrible invasion of her not others. The effect of those pictures did not ever effect the “”we”. I admire her ability to begin to work thru this hateful episode in what I hope proves to be a very successful future. I am certain that as she works to heal herself, helping and supporting others will again become a central focus.
1
Ms. Hill, Thank you for your service on behalf of California - we look forward to your return in that same area or in many other fields. As you regroup to continue the fight, please know that your impact upon those who are also in the fight is invaluable. For those who diminish or taunt you openly or here in some of the comments, seek out those they can torment and dispose of. They are simply small angry people who need to hold double standards for some, while granting no empathy for others. They are deeply flawed in their actions and are detached from the real world and do not understand what it means to be a human being. Best wishes.
6
For me the issue is not nude photos or sexual orientation but rather a question of whether there was sexual relationship with a subordinate.
18
Katie Hill made some poor choices, but then again, haven't we all? Even though I don't support what she did, no one deserves to be shamed and humiliated by the release of photos that were meant to be private. I can only imagine how devastating it must feel.
11
@Sophie
Exactly. I hired a supercomputer to count all my screw ups - and it crashed!
I don't see the big deal with nude photos being made public. (Female) actors frequently appear naked in movies, etc. Nude beaches are popular in certain parts of the world. We all have bodies, and are frequently nude.
I just don't see the scandal, nor the need to contemplate suicide. Additionally, I don't see the issue with or with not having an affair. That's a private matter, and few (if any) care.
Are women held to higher standards? After reading this, it was Katie Hill that held herself to a higher standard.
I may be accused of being callous or needing to walk in another person's shoes, but Ms. Hill should take it easy on herself. As far as I can tell she's done nothing wrong -- certainly nothing that warrants suicide. Don't take yourself so seriously -- the best advice I was ever given.
I'll conclude with the advice that Ms. Hill should reclaim her seat -- one she should never have relinquished.
17
Please remember, Ms. Hill, you’re not out. You’re just getting started. Comebacks can only happen after setbacks.
8
Dear Ms. Hill:
Thank you for sharing the intensity of your experience of public shaming. It took you to a dark place, and, I believe you made the right choice to keep living.
I hope you use this opportunity to also see those who tried to hurt you so badly in a different light. They are not worthy of your attention. Anyone who seeks to remind you of your naked photos is now shaming themselves, not you. You could take the worst and have moved on. They will stoop to the worst to gain a cruel pleasure because they have no better sources of happiness.
Hold your head high. I hope you run for office again and win. And if anyone tries to ridicule you again, turn it back on them, shining your light on their ugliness.
The worst “mistakes” can be opportunities for the most profound healing and transcendence over what you formerly found important.
6
That photos of her spread around is deplorable. That shouldn’t happen to anyone.
That’s one relevant issue. But there’s another, completely separate issue.
She admitted having a sexual relationship with a female campaign staffer, a workplace subordinate. It’s exactly the kind of taking advantage that MeToo has done such a fine job bringing into the light. Lots of powerful people have rightly lost jobs and reputations for this kind of predatory behavior. Some have gotten away with it, but more and more are being called to account. We have MeToo to thank. No one should be able to get away with such behavior. Including Hill.
14
Katie Hill demonstrated how an honest an honorable person. behaves. I agree with Nancy Pelosi, she never should have resigned. Given the level of moral hypocrisy and crimes committed by Republicans such as Chris Collins, Duncan Hunter, and Devon Nunez, she demonstrates true integrity. Rather, what I would have preferred her to say publicly would have been something like, " I will resign when President Trump testifies under oath in front of the women accusing him of sexual assault or extramarital affairs. Also, he must finally release his tax returns, and must learn to respect the oversight of Congress and testify about his alleged crimes. If he does these things then and only then will I resign." This I would have liked to have seen, but this remains only a fantasy, as I have lost faith that any Republican will behave this honestly.
6
I fail to see the reasoning behind the apparent presumption bu virtually everyone writing comments that if people engage in consensual sexual activity, and consent to having pictures taken for private use, that this is activity that justifies condemnation and punishment. I consider that view narrow-minded. If the photographs that are taken are without the person's consent, that is very wrong, obviously, and making them public without the person's consent, in order to harm them, is criminal. I completely sympathize with and respect Ms. Hill's painful agonizing to resign, and no one is in a position to second-guess her on this. Nonetheless, it saddens me that she did, just like I was saddened by Senator Franken's resignation, because she was well on her way to being an excellent representative, and democracy suffers.
5
It is very distressing that those with principle and integrity resign while those with none of the above stay and further corrupt.
14
Thank you Katie. Your story has many more chapters yet to be written, and - it's going to be great.
4
Your strength and your willingness to push on despite the abuse and torment you’ve received puts me at awe. You are a force to be reckoned and I, for one, can’t wait to see what you do in the future. You are loved, you are wanted, don’t let them get you down. You may have been a victim but now you’re a survivor.
1
I say all the best in the world to you. Run for office again. I hope you are victorious in your lawsuit. Our privacy laws are broken or non-existent. We need to protect everyone from online abuse. Our bodies are our vessels. Just because people may have seen your nude body, it does not mean your soul is in any way diminished. I thought you should have not resigned, but understand why you did. Run again. I will support you when you run for office again.
2
Thank you for your honesty. For my part, I don't know what you did so wrong. Funny, I've blanked out every single time your situation comes up. And I'll be honest - it's because I'm sick of the hypocrisy of the Senate and the House these days. I think the men fell on you like a ton of bricks and I think it's sexist. "The responsibility" and "better than that" blah blah.
I have watched and listened to the hearings. Two weeks of sometimes riveting testimony and then this Friday I listened to the voting rights hearing. I cannot believe the men with their shouting, their posturing, their telling of barefaced lies, their gas lighting, distorted "facts" their adoption of accusations and slinging them back in hopes it won't be noticed what they're doing.
Those same men use sex for power and for control - A LOT of them. But, yeah, you are/were made "an example."
I wish you well. We'll see you around. I'll look for you.
5
All best to you. When this is settled and you are at peace with it, I hope you consider another run for Congress. I suspect your constituents still love you.
1
I'm a highly intelligent and caring man in Canada, 100 % behind you. The world needs you.
1
At some point, I hope we can discuss the right wing propaganda press that decided to use nonconsensual, salacious photos. Some of these outlets could not even be troubled to hide the photos behind a link, but they all chose to sanction and magnify the impact of an abusive act. These photos were not newsworthy. Any outlet that chose to publish them engaged in outright misogyny and should be shamed.
5
I'm so angry that this happened to Ms. Hill. For me, the bottom line is that there are too many out there so filled with malice and self-loathing that the only way they find their self-worth is by the dehumanization and destruction of a woman with a healthy libido and the self-confidence to explore her sexuality. It's about the cruelty and the vicious taking down of a very smart, talented newly elected politician with a potentially brilliant future because if her abusers will never be what she became, they will take it away from her at all costs. Find me one person who hasn't made a morally ambiguous decision in their 20's. Anyone who feels comfortable sitting in judgment needs to be a bit more self-aware. I hope she gets her power back.
1
"There comes a time in your life when you stare into the abyss, and the abyss stares back. It's in that moment that you find your character." I admire the guts it took to run for public office with a threat like that hanging over your head. Most wouldn't, which is what makes you exceptional.
3
Putting aside some of the other issues, from the moment I first read about this, I was struck (not for the first time) by the ridiculous reaction to the nude photos. Why do we as an advanced society still put up with the hypocritical - and fake, by and large - "moral outrage" over a good person safely and healthfully enjoying her sexuality? Ms. Hill seems like an intelligent and thoughtful person; I have no doubt that she will continue to do big things with her life. This courageous article is an example of that. I'm hopeful that we can continue to move towards accepting our basic biology.
2
I find it astonishing that so few in this comment feed look at the courage it took to admit publicly that not only did this attack make Hill depressed, but also considered suicide. That took a lot of guts.
I really hope we will see more of her in the future in government, preferably in a Warren Adminstration. I wish her well.
3
This piece sums up the difference between Democrats and Republicans in Congress Under these circumstances, Democrats gracefully resign while Republicans arrogantly stick it out, let it blow over and even get re-elected.
In the Age of Trump The Chosen One, this is part of what I mean by “taking off the gloves”: Democrats, stick it out. Don’t resign. Take the heat from the Republican hypocrites and stay around long enough to make that difference you wanted to make when you were first elected. Let the voters decide if your indiscretion was bad enough to warrant expulsion from Washington- they were the ones that put you there in the first place. Ms. Hill seems to have been a bright star. (Maybe, if she should take advice from some respondents to her article, she will be again.) We’ve already lost Al Franken over charges that a Republican would have laughed at. We as a party have to develop a far thicker skin if we are to collectively withstand the hot air being constantly blown at us from those on the right. It’s way past time for that.
2
To the NYT and The wonderful Katie Hill. The raw writing in this piece is absolutely stellar! I felt as though I read both an obituary and a birth notice. As a woman, I just don’t see why Katie resigned and I truly hope she runs again. I too had a vindictive partner I couldn’t leave. I know with great certainty that they will lie and take those pictures. They will betray any sense of decency when confronted with splitting up. Please collect all of these messages of understanding and wishes for you to continue to do good work, and use them at the times when you are faced with more challenges. He may have hurt you? He may have succeeded in “ruining” your political career? But he did not succeed in any way to change how any of us feel about you. He did not succeed. And while he likely has few friends these days. Have comfort in knowing that millions of people are holding your heart in their heart. Millions have common sense enough to understand and be able to say so what! Millions of us want you to just find your center again and when you’re ready? Do something even bigger!
1
I’m tired of Democrats resigning from their offices for so called poor judgment scandals that republicans would surely ride out, to above all, keep their seat and maintain a majority in the legislative branch. There’s too much at stake to succumb to your personal failings. It compounds the mistake.
2
It does not matter whether it was a campaign worker or a staff member. What matters is her narrative is absurd. She full well knew her behavior had the appearance of impropriety before she decided to run, then pushes out an opportunist’s hair-splitting excuse anyway, but even that only after she got caught. Does that remind you of anyone we know with a last name beginning with T? And her ex’s behavior is irrelevant and has nothing to do with this. Now it appears to have begun a fight of some sort, but with whom, about what, or where I have no clue because the writing ignores such altogether. Importantly, there are serious and deeper issues coming out of this angst. Young people need to learn that handling relatively benign situations effectively needn’t involve a fight, much less the setting of battle stations, e.g., no psychic energy needs to be expended on who loves you or who does not love you. Clue to young people: People are going to betray you and set you up for failure many times in your lifetime, and if you care about it too much, you will be just as conflicted as the kindly and intelligent person who wrote this article.
2
@Dan Holton Except justice matters. Holding abusers to account matters.
Great article. Keep on fighting. People who have done much worse things, including our current president, are adored and admired and envied for them. In a country as morally corrupt as ours you are a very minor sinner. Believe me.
Thank you for writing this. Here is Santa Clarita, I miss you. We miss you. You need to fight to make whoever posted those pictures to pay for what HE did. I hope you can come back to politics. Boy - that would be a great story!!!! You are amazing and were amazing in your job. I finally got hope for the future since HE got elected. Please get help if you need it. Stay well. Fight on and hard.
Thank you for sharing your story. You have taken the first steps on your path to a good life, don't let the bumps in the road upset you.
It is my feeling that Katie and Al Franken made their decision too hastily. They were both good people, who have a lot to give to our country, that were caught up in an embarrassing situation. Most likely, because of their sense of shame, they made irrevocable decisions that may of gotten rid of the initial sense of self guilt but left their aggressors winners.
It is easy to second guess difficult, especially personal, decisions but in both of these situations we as a society have lost valuable human resources because of the cruel selfish actions of bullies. As these bullies win (djt and his republican cult) we lose.
For those upstanding public servants who will face similar situations in the future, I would urge that they seek counsel before giving into their bullies. You will be surprised how forgiving the American public can be of personal transgressions. It is not the sin, it is the reason for the sin.
These bullies need a good swift punch in the nose.
2
Run for the same seat again.
1
I hope Ms. Hill gets over the damage this experience has inflicted on her. We need this type of woman in our leadership. My heart and my support go out to her in whatever she decides she wants to do next.
1
I don’t understand what’s so wrong about being naked. We all do it. If pictures were taken without her consent and published, that’s the fault of the photographer and publisher, not of Katie Hill. She has absolutely nothing to be ashamed of and owes no one any apology. The fact that this even became an issue, much less one that could end her congressional career, just shows what an unhealthy society we live in.
2
Social media, according to today's NYT headline has brought about huge army of child predators, Donald Trump and the fall of an inspiring, bright and articulate woman like Ms. Hill. Do I need Facebook to know that my sister scores high on Candy Crush? Do I care? Social media is killing all of us and until people are smart enough to forsake it, we can look ahead to stories like this forevermore.
2
Katie Hill, you are one of a kind, a unique individual blessed with the gift of making a difference in the lives of people for the better. You have proved that you can do it, and you will prove yet again that you can do it with even greater impact. Your story of returning from the fatal brink of despair will lift the hearts of millions around the world fighting the same unfair, sexist and cruel battles everyday of their lives. You will rise and with you will rise millions who have read your heart-felt piece. You have shown that hope can triumph over despair and courage over nihilism. Don't let the hatemongers define you. For every such hatemonger, know that there are at least ten who want you to press on and who want you to be an inspiration. May you have the faith and the resilience and the nobility to rise to our high expectations. I, for one, know you will.
2
Katie,
As a resident and voter in your district, as you know, it took me some time to be convinced that you were the one for the job but convince me you did. I am so proud of how you represented us and the Nation. I am proud to know you and I hope and trust that your next chapter is just on the horizon. The people that slammed you are very small people. You are not!
Personally, I don't think she should have resigned. The haters won.
3
I saw you on Chris Hayes and then read this. I hope that you continue in public service and in a leadership capacity. Chin up. Stare straight ahead. Get it done.
Suggestion: Descriptions of suicide and contemplation of suicide can be triggering to vulnerable individuals. Please put a warning at the beginning of this piece so that people sensitive to this can choose to avoid it.
1
wish you hadn't done it.
resigned, that is.
3
Well said Katie. This is another example of what strong women have to put up with. Keep fighting, people around the world have your back.
1
Sorry to see you leave the House. You had already emerged as a leader and you will continue to lead. I saw one of the first news segments about you shortly after you launched your campaign and I thought you were terrific.
The House sexual misconduct rule enacted a couple of years ago probably doesn't really apply to the relationship you had; it seems Kafkaesque to me and I'm so sorry.
You will rise above this. Millions of people are on your side.
1
I think that some day in the future Ms. Hill will re-read what she has written and be mortified.
3
Hear! Hear!
1
I don’t think Katie or Al should have resigned, particularly Katie. That was a private matter that someone else took public. I’m so tired of Democrats shooting at each other over personal issues or the slightest of questionable behavior while we have Republicans who appear to be actual criminals in the WH, Senate, and House. Rick Wilson got it right when he said there are traitors amongst us. And here are the Dems getting rid of good people for making mistakes that they own up to and for which they’ve apologized.
Mixed feelings. Her personal life was apparently a mess, but overall what damage she did was not to our country.
Compare Hill to pled-guilty-to-a-felony-to-avoid-going-to-trial-on-sixty-counts-of-corruption Duncan ("additional allegations emerged that the congressman used campaign funds during the course of five different extramarital affairs with congressional staffers and lobbyists") Hunter.
It appears he was hoping to keep his job despite being a convicted felon, but not even today's version of the GOP thought that was a good idea.
Katie,
Thank you for sharing.
I feel hurt when I realize that I have been taken advantage of. It is my hope that one day internet pornography viewing is stopped in the United States as it is tool that just seems to continually hurt each person who seeks intimacy.
Breton
Thanks for writing the article, Ms Hill. And for your service in Congress. I’m sure you’ve heard this a few times since those photos were published, and it may not provide great solace, but as someone who is not a political junkie and who is living outside of California (who didn’t know you from a bar of soap prior to those photos), it was your graceful reaction to a horrible harm done to you that drew me to you and gave me reason to want to see you succeed as a leader, political or otherwise.
And also, so you know, in the internet age, where someone’s breaking sex tape is always a click away, most people (even heterosexual males) aren’t interested in clicking that link. Not so much out of respect for your privacy, (which should naturally be the primary reason) but just cuz we’re so inundated by such images today. While you will never be granted anonymity again, you luckily have a form of apathy working in your favor. And that apathy grows with time.
Good lord. I’ve seen her on CNN, MSNBC and now this. She broke House rules by having an affair with a staffer. One would think after trying so hard to win an election, she would be more careful not to violate the rules. But no. She is the victim and everyone else is to blame. If there were nude pictures of me floating around, I wouldn’t leave my house let alone pop up on TV. Doesn’t anyone have shame anymore?
8
The relationship broke the rules but resignation became the only option after she was tormented and needed to withdraw to save her mental well being. If Pelosi said she didn’t have to resign it means it wasn’t a definitive fireable offense. As far as the photos, she didn’t consent to taking them or consent to their distribution. The one who did that should feel shame, not her. I’m more concerned with a lack of compassion than I am with a lack of shame.
Congresswoman Hill, Just so you know, I’ve never seen the photos of you. Nor have I seen “naked photos” of anyone else on the internet. I’m sure I’m not the only one who considers these things private and none of my business. I’m sorry that you, like Senator Franken, resigned so quickly, before investigations could be concluded. Meanwhile, Jim Jordan and Trump are still in office and Roy Moore says he will run again in Alabama. No justice. Best of luck in your future endeavors.
2
I wish she hadn’t resigned. We need women like her in public office.
3
Run again. Men come back from things like this all the time.
3
My daughters need you to stay in the fight.
The rest of us do to.
1
Ms. Hill: you should not have resigned, just as Al Franken should have not. Your indiscretion with a subordinate was consensual, and the aftermath was a crime that should be prosecuted. Your generation has grown up on social media, it is inevitable that every youthful dalliance is recorded, every bad decision goes viral, every personal sexual preference gets preyed on. The President of the United States has committed far worse indiscretions and has yet to be held accountable. So regroup. Reset. It’s not how you fall, it’s how you get up.
1
I hope no other woman has to go through this. Posting private nude photos online should be a crime. Full stop. We are all vulnerable and those who cross this line should be prosecuted.
1
I donated to your campaign. I was happy you won and sad you resigned. I'm horrified to learn you came so close to suicide.
As humiliating as it was to have these photos published, like all blackmail the best thing is to turn the tables and try not to care. After the first wave of photos I think the press and public would have lost interest. I hope you will campaign hard for your successor as we can't afford to lose your seat to the GOP.
1
Katie - I followed you on VICE. You're 31 years old = you're young enough / you should know better than to EVER have ANYTHING potentially embarrassing photographed +/or recorded. I'm not saying that what you went through, and what will undoubtedly haunt you in one way or another for (probably) the rest of your life, was / is deserved by any means but ... hoping you (AND MANY OTHERS) learn from this debacle. I really do wish you the best.
Look, you are fine and respected.
You will carry on.
You are so young.
Life will greet you.
I grow weary of being asked to overlook power abuses of staff by female politicians while the same people condemned Senator Franken to permanent exile for far, far less that didn’t involve abuse of power.
7
Read the article. She did not have a relationship with a staffer. The relationships was prior to her election and was with a member of her campaign staff. Improper? Perhaps. But she should not have resigned. Her ex husband clearly was abusive and that is the issue here that is not addressed
@Rachel
Campaign staff isn't staff?
Are you kidding me?
Stop changing the subject when it is a woman who abuses power.
#MeToo, sister!
1
This piece feels manipulative to me. She is talking about her emotions after the photos were released. But that’s not the reason she needed to resign. She had a relationship with a subordinate. She broke the rules—if not legally, at least ethically. She acted in ways that are unbecoming of a United States Representative. (For those who say, white men Republicans get away with it all the time, well, tough but women and LGBTQ and other minority groups and Dems are held to a higher standard.)
The problem is her own conduct. To provide cover for that with an op-Ed about her own emotions is disingenuous at best and deliberately manipulative at worst.
9
All I want from a Congressperson is someone who knows how to do the job and keeps me informed only about their work in Congress. My sincere thanks to Rep. David Price.
5
@Crossed Swords
We don't have wind-up robots for representatives. We have actual human beings.
Thank God.
The representative system of government puts too much power and responsibility on the shoulders of people who can only be immature. Obvious with Kathie Hill, just as it was obvious with Trump, Obama, Bush, Clinton, etc. The problem is not one person, but the system.
4
@Patrice Ayme I guess I don't understand your comment. Are you saying that Barack Obama was "immature"?
1
I'm sorry but no sympathy here, just as there wouldn't be if it were a male member of Congress. She had an affair with an underling on her political campaign staff -- maybe not illegal but certainly unethical. Then she is accused of having an affair with a member of her congressional staff, which is against House rules. She resigned soon after the House Ethics Committee announced it was investigating. She could have stayed and testified under oath that she was innocent before the ethics investigators. She did not. She made the right decision to resign and avoid having to testify under oath.
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@RRM agree wholeheartedly unfortunately. She is just not mature enough to be in Congress whose members should be held to a higher standard.
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@RRM
Yes, but that stuff was triggered by her own decisions, and nobody's saying she didn't deserve the ethics inquiry.
But the photographs released by her husband were not within her control and it's hard not to feel sympathetic about the way things that started when she was 16 ended years later.
21
@RRM Except that male members of Congress have been sleeping with staff or sexually harassing them for years and few of them have had to resign and in the case of my former Congressman Pat Meehan, only when he compounded the error by paying the sexual harassment settlement out of taxpayer funds while sitting on the House Ethics Committee. One of the potential primary candidates to replace him, a State Senator who had to drop out before nominating petitions could even start circulating had sexual misconduct allegations of his own and had to drop out (Google Daylin Leach). We ended up with 14 people who filed, 10 of which were still on the ballot by the Dem primary and the GOP put up a woman and Mary Gay Scanlon won our primary so the election to replace Meehan had 2 women running against each other (Google Pearl Kim vs Mary Gay Scanlon). My point is that male members of Congress have done at least as bad as Ms. Hill or worse and only some have resigned and in the local case I know about, there were compounding factors. However, these cases are leading to voter backlash when they do come to light.
5
I have read the story.
I am uncomfortable with the accusation against the former husband. True or not, it is clear that the good lady was just not ready for leadership and/or public life.
134
Right. Cause all one has to do is look at the the other 435 House members and bask in their mediocrity. If you’re going to bemoan Katie Hill’s lack of readiness, then apply it to her colleagues with the same scrutiny. Under that measure the House would be filled with lots of vacant offices.
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@Full Name (required) Thomas A. Baker
When you say you were uncomfortable with the accusation, I can say I was, too. Still, on rereading, I saw that she said "I believe my husband was the source" and I realize that I had judged that a hack into the husband's phone would also mean he was the source.
Importantly, believing he was the source may only have meant that (1) she didn't think there was a spy camera planted in the hotel suite, and (2) she did think her husband's camera took the pictures. That someone else may have gotten then and used them.
And (2) the report that the husband is denying that he distributed the pictures seems to balance against the accusation that you mentioned. That seemed fair.
I that we should keep in mind that those points are unproved, as you say.
5
Not ready? On the basis of what? Having married an angry man who sought revenge for rejection? Well, of course we don’t know that. What we do know is that her career ended because some unknown and cowardly creep sent nude pictures of her to an unprincipled news source. These were apparently taken by the husband at some earlier, better time in their lives and possibly before the nearly ubiquitous threat today of internet exposure made allowing anyone to take privately intended photos risky. Other than her choice of a mate when she was 16, I don’t see any lapse of judgment in her behavior. Few 16 year olds exercise mature judgment about anything for the very good reason that they’re not yet mature.
I do see, on your part I’m afraid, a tendency to judge others with a regrettable lack of empathy.
25
If Ms. Hill had an 'R' after her name while in Congress, I wonder if we would see a similar outpouring of support & empathy here. Of course the answer would be 'most assuredly not'.
30
@John I emphatically disagree, John. What happened to Ms. Hill goes beyond partisan politics. Anyone with an ounce of humanity should be able to see that, and treat her with empathy.
35
@John If Ms. Hill had an 'R' after her name and she served her community and country as Katie has (and I hope will again), my appreciation of her, my anger and sadness about her abuse, and my best wishes for her future would be no less.
I believe there are House members with an 'R' after their name who are, like Katie, patriots, and who serve their community and country with passion, intelligence, and devotion, as Katie has.
Thank you, Katie, for your service to CA25 and our country. I look forward to having you represent our community and country again; however that will be.
11
@John I guess you've forgotten about Joe Barton, a Republican congressman. When this happened to him, all of us, Republicans and Democrats, were united in sympathy and support. I'd have hoped we could do the same here.
7
In a world where serial sexual predators sit not only in congress alongside Ms. Hill, but at the highest level of every branch of the government; and bribery, both legal and illegal, pervade the halls of our democracy; I have a hard time getting worked up over a purely hypothetical conflict of interest stemming from a consensual relationship between a female congresswoman and one of her campaign staff.
It is good know someone is still following the rules. But on some level this feels deeply unfair. The unequal application of the law undermines its efficacy and legitimacy.
Perhaps we should expect better behavior from our legislators than what Ms. Hill exhibited. But how could we deny that she was surrounded by many far, far worse men who will get up in Washington tomorrow and go to their jobs at the capitol?
8
Thank you for your strength and courage. It is desperately needed in these sordid times. Thank you for standing up for truth when so many in power lie and manipulate. You give hope that honesty
is still the best policy. I'm sorry for the pain it brought you, but you still have your dignity, the love of your friends and family and the respect of many. Thank you for not going quietly.
3
What a brave woman you are, Katie Hill! To choose to stay in the struggle to be alive, recognizing that there is a world of people who would suffer greatly without you. And to make this so struggle so public, to delineate it so well, I applaud you.
2
A public servant needs to put public service first. Even if that is no longer the norm. There are no good excuses for not doing so. Live and learn.
81
@Sage I agree. I know I'm in the minority, but there is something self serving about this piece. This is not just any public service position - it is the United States Congress. I think candidates seeking to become a part of this select governing body need to not only have their personal lives in order before pursuing such an important role, but also have the emotional maturity to handle the pressures and scrutiny that come with it.
31
@Sage
Having a consensual affair, if it is true, does not prevent a person from serving in public office admirably. Can we ever know all that goes on behind the closed doors of anyone’s life?
35
@Sage and @Ellie, excellent advice and character requirements not only for public servants but also for the highest office in our nation's government.
It's December 8, 2019; still, the double standards are more firmly in place than ever.
Where is HIS accountability?
69
Thank you Katie Hill for writing this article. I live in your district and voted for you and all members of the family voted for you. I have daughters and a son close to your age and everyday I get to understand the world they live in. I am always their supporter. Continue the good fight and wish the best for you and your family. Hopefully your experience will help all the young girls around the US and the world to continue to fight in spite of the odds.
291
These cases are really hard for me to judge. I do think it's important for Democrats to try to maintain the moral high ground and really make the case that they're the party of moral decency and respect of the law. However, I also get worried that it will hurt in practice when reasonably good politicians who are effective in pushing the country in the direction it needs to go (e.g., Hill and Franken) resign after fairly minor mistakes in their personal lives.
Republicans seem content to join in the castigation of Democrats for their fairly minor mistakes while giving full support to members of their own party who do much worse. For instance, it seemed for a while there that Duncan Hunter wasn't going to resign despite the litany of actual criminal charges against him.
487
@Hans
Correct! Moreover the duty that Katie Hill noted to her supporters, staff, the Democratic Party and the American voting public outweighed her sense of...what, personal shame? Maybe a little counseling and a short leave of absence would have boosted her morale after the shock. But don't give up your seat in the first rush of feelings! And, Hans, you're right about Franken too. Maybe he owed someone an apology, like the women who came out later and claimed he had touched them while being photographed. But it was also a GOP smear job too. Don't quit over nothing; we need you! Every vote is important in every election unless and until the Republicans start voting for the country and not themselves.
20
@Hans Anything that consenting adults do in private should be considered moral. No one's getting hurt and it's perfectly natural. We all do it; in one way or another. But now we have smartphones and the Internet. So these photo leaks are inevitable.
By the way, the GOP is the party of children in cages. I assure you, we would've maintained the moral high ground if Katie stayed.
But you're absolutely right about the hypocrisy of the Republicans' selective outrage.
20
@Hans Sorry, Hans, but Democrats cannot maintain the high moral ground because they never held the high moral ground. Republicans don't hold it, either. Both parties have huge moral Achilles Heels--for the Democratic party, it's abortion and for the Republican party, it's capital punishment. There is no political party that holds any sort of monopoly on high morals.
1
Rep Hill's private life should have remained private. When it was revealed in a ghastly manner, she deserved to stand strong and tell people it was none of their business. Instead, she punished herself at the behest of judgmental, politically motivated, nameless individuals. Had she remained in Congress, she would have been working towards a better country; she would have been occupied. Instead, she is living a nightmare by doing what hateful people wanted her to do. I encourage all people attacked in this manner to make a statement saying it is private business and immediately moving on to get the work done. Just the same, I have great empathy for this suffering woman.
541
@Colleen Sullivan, PhD i agree with you completely. But did you feel this way about Mark Sanford when his wife went on her public revenge tour? Sadly it is always politics not principles that define us.
6
Yes.
I still don’t understand what she did wrong. She was wronged with the release of the photos. Hill was victimized. And the consentual relationship with her staffer was just that: consentual. There have been neither claims nor evidence of predation. I wish her well.
22
@Colleen Sullivan, PhD she was having an affair with a staffer 10 years younger.
9
Remember this: for all that you have been through, all that has been said and done, most of us in America have never seen those photos, and only knew of you as a freshman congresswoman who was part of a marital melodrama and affair, heard there were such photos, and the flap resulted in your resignation. You have and will survive this, and it will fade into its proper place in your history. Summon your strength and fulfill your potential - for yourself, as much as for all those who care about and support you.
848
Jane is right. That’s all I knew of your story and I’m so glad you are telling your own story. I believe you and I hope you will continue to work for a better world. Best wishes.
41
@Jane Conrad I agree. I will never see those photos, didn't follow the situation except to just know vaguely about it. Millions of us out here!!
17
Unfortunately, the most obvious lesson learned by everyone from the travails of Katie Hill is that honesty may be the best policy, but it often comes with a terrible price for the honest person in this imperfect world.
Katie Hill never hid who she was and is, but she did make some bad decisions – chiefly her decision at a young age to become involved with and ultimately married to a vindictive bully. Hill’s decision to resign her seat in Congress was also a bad decision, though understandable in the moment.
We are used to men in the public eye who lead secret lives, which then are exposed by someone, usually a woman, whom they have victimized. We do not and should not have much sympathy for such men.
Here, in Katie Hill, we have a woman who became something of a celebrity, but never lied about her sexual orientation and never victimized anyone.
It is typical of the disparate treatment of women in our society that Katie Hill is now being punished. As an old man, probably older than her father, I deeply resent the way Ms. Hill has been treated.
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@sdw
Well said for the most part except for one thing:
"but she did make some bad decisions – chiefly her decision at a young age to become involved with and ultimately married to a vindictive bully."
Don't blame the victim.
19
@Jeremy
It was definitely not my intent to “blame the victim.” I was observing that very young people make decisions which, as they mature, are clearly seen to have been mistakes. This was precisely what happened with Katie Hill, as she wisely realized that her husband had become abnormally possessive, manipulative and threatening.
Ms. Hill, as you surely must admit, Jeremy, had the courage to break free. Some women are never able to summon that courage and resolve to escape their tormentors, and none of us should "blame" them.
11
@sdw except sleeping with a staffer was the mistake that led to her resignation, not marrying a vindictive loser.
13
Men have been using women to gain and hold onto power forever. They do not let go of power without a fight. They fight dirty, give low blows and have no regret for the pain they cause women who try to step into leadership. This has been proven to me many times in the world news and in my own life. Ms. Hill was railroaded out of politics by a hypocritical power-hungry men and women who fear power and think it should stay with the men. I don't want to add to her pain, but she had no reason to step down. I am glad to see she will stay in the fight--perhaps teaching young girls and women about what happened to her and how much persistence and courage it takes to lead in the face of hostility and resistence.There is much talk about gender parity & balance, but this is still mostly symbolic. I encourage Ms. Hill to stand up for herself and talk about what hapened to her. Men will try to shame her and shut her up and there is a giant double standard-- these are givens and there is no way around them but through. Good luck to Ms. Hill. I support her efforts to take back her story and do make positive change happen.
15
I will forever think of my mother as a thoroughly “modern” woman. She was first in her family to attend college. Her father was supportive but mused aloud that a college education was moot if a woman graduated with a marriage proposal. She did indeed fall head over heels for a senior in her freshmen year. He went to seminary. She took post graduate courses at Columbia, sold tickets at Grand Central and was met at the subway each night by her protective father when she arrived back in Brooklyn. She married after my father graduated from seminary having known him for four years and by all accounts she was a virgin bride. They had seven children, my mother being the able manager supported by my father who kept busy attending to his congregants. They moved to Germany as my father was picked to lead the Lutheran World Federation’s pastoring in post WWII displaced persons camps and to link DPs with sponsors in the US and Canada. Meanwhile, my mother was teaching GIs how to read and teaching kindergarden at US bases. After their return to the US when her youngest turned 5 and she was 45 she became a 1st grade teacher. She taught for 30-plus years retiring at 76. She became the first woman elected to the school board.
Both parents served their community. No affairs! Lifelong lovers. I came across old birthday and anniversary cards one in which my father wrote, he loved her as she uniquely was.
Every person is unique, man or woman. Their character, values, their choices, their own.
3
@L
Nonsense. The photos of and revelations regarding Ms. Hill were not your ordinary variety of sext messages and nude photos released by a vengeful boyfriend or husband. Instead, they fall more on the exploitative sleazy side of the scale and as such, reveal poor judgement on her part, in addition to TMI.
Joe Barton, the GOP congressman from Texas, was forced out of office for being similarly exposed—as he should have been.
2
Ms. Hill, your courage and your words remind me of what Victor Laszlo (Paul Henreid) said to Rick Blaine (Humphrey Bogart) at the end of “Casablanca,” “Welcome back to the fight. This time I know our side will win.”
20
Thank you, Ms. Hill. I’m so sorry for all the mansplaining, sympathetic and otherwise, in the comments I’m reading. You have shown astounding courage in your response to this trauma and wisdom well beyond your years. You are a hero now not only to everyone who believed in you before but to anyone who has ever suffered the crushing humiliation of abuse and the pain and self-doubt that inevitably follow. Your strength is a beacon and your power, because you have embraced it, formidable. You came back from the brink because you understood the world needed you. We do, and we owe you unending gratitude.
25
Dear Katie, I don't do social media, so this message is the best chance I have of communicating with you. I've read some of the articles about you in papers and magazines, and watched some of the stories on the news. Your failings have been very human ones and almost everyone in the US has done similar things and not many people around made a big deal about them. Unfortunately, you got run over by the media, and that has to be a terrible, horrible thing to go through. I don't know how we can get some reasonableness back in the news process. Everything is blown way out of proportion especially if you get caught up in a partisan firefight. Long story short, I just want you to know that there is one old man in Rhode Island who thinks you got a raw deal, and is thinking of you and wishing the best for you. Hopefully, there are many of us anonymous folks who look for the best in people and understand that there is lots of imperfection in the world. People make mistakes, but they do good things too. Go do good things. Wishing you the best.
103
@Leo ....your post is exactly what I was going to say to Katie.
Katie....there is nothing wrong with being HUMAN. You have so many people who care about you and love you. You have so much to offer to the world!! Stand strong, brush yourself off, and move on with life. You've got this!!!
1
She should not have stepped down. Neither should have Sen. Franken.
The dems are being too quick to decapitate their own team. Sure they want to make the distinction between them and the other side, republicant as they are, but these heads were not justified.
I would hope that Rep Hill would get back on the horse, Franken too.Win that next election, and pass some legislation if need be. Apologize for the conduct to the extent it is needed and then move on.
More serious acts are another matter of course. But this bloodletting is not warranted.
55
Katie Hill, our world needs more like you. Now more than ever. Speaking truth to power is hard and getting harder. Thank you for choosing to stay- and stay in the fight. Your strength inspires.
31
Thank you for sharing your story-life is difficult and political life even more so- your courage is inspiring and I wish you all the best and hope to see you back in the good fight soon.
21
Thank you Katie Hill. I look forward to hearing good things about all you will do and achieve in life. Stay strong. Think of all those who care about you.
26
Deep respect to Katie Hill and her courage in sharing this. I am sure she will come back stronger and has a great future in public life once the corrosive elements are removed from US politics. We need more women like Katie in government in US!
30
Kaie Hill showed courage and principle by resigning, She shouldn't have to suffer more, nor should she still be in office. The country needs responsible, mature people to sit on both sides of the aisle, people who are able to focus on their office and all the responsibilities that come with it. Ms Hill, I would welcome back if you can learn from this, stabilize your personal life and win another election.
10
@kglen I too hope Katie Hill will run for office again. She doesn't need condescending admonitions to "learn from this." Her description of coercive control rings true for anyone familiar with its dynamics. One massive red flag: She had been with her ex since age 16. He's about four years older. I would never claim to inhabit her experiences, but a sizable age gap between a teenaged girl and an older man is a familiar pattern to those of us who work to mitigate intimate partner abuse and violence.
22
@kglen As one of her constituents, I disagree with your assertion that she shouldn’t be in office, or that she needs to learn or gain stability. I respect her choice to resign, but feel she was doing an outstanding job in our community and sorely miss having her represent us. We would have her back in a heartbeat.
15
@Elisa
You're free to elect her again.
Thank you for walking back from that edge. Thank you for continuing to fight. You are an inspiration, and I believe your future holds many more victories for you and aided by you.
As for your ex...may he get EVERYTHING a just universe would bestow on him.
38
If everyone who has had a relatonship with a subordinate on a campaign or with a staffer (and she has denied that she had a relationship with a staffer) turned a green color, it would be like St. Patrick's day in the halls of Congress.
I still don't understand why Al Franken had to resign over jokes he had made that were offensive--but seriously, he was a comedian--including work on SNL--and MN voters KNEW that when they elected him, twice. It wasn't like one could seriously be surprised that Al Franken had made (probably more than a few) offensive jokes during that time period. The GOP had tried to use this as an issue back in 2008, when Franken first ran for the Senate. Moreover, he wanted to defend himself in front of the Ethics Committee, but Schumer wouldn't let him--he was going to be removed from committees if he didn't resign.
I respect Hill's decision to resign (and I'm glad she clarified here that Pelosi did not push her out)--she was by her own admission going through a personal crisis, albeit one created by those who circulated and then posted the photos. But a world where Hill resigns, but DUNCAN HUNTER STILL HASN'T RESIGNED--though he pled guilty to a felony--and he cast two votes in the House this week--well, that's a strange world.
47
The biggest question remains not fully answered: why did she quit? Leaving under a cloud is usually an exclamation point that taints the rest of one's life and career. That would be unfortunate and unfair, especially in this case.
In the past, some members of Congress, particularly in the House, have resigned in order to avoid further investigation. I am not suggesting this was a factor in regard to Ms. Hill, but the allegation of involvement with a member of her staff does raise a doubt.
It seems we need to create a higher standard for what is a career ending mistake. The nude photos being published were no fault of hers, other than, perhaps, failing to make certain no one was taking any such photos or had the ability to retain once taken.
Another thing that struct me about her story is she mentioned she had "no Ivy League degree" when seeking her seat in Congress. Is this kind of credential now considered a minimum for being considered for the House or Senate? If it is, we are losing a lot of good people who were not accepted, or chose not to attend. I wasn't aware that anyone who did not was somehow considered a second class citizen. Heaven forfend. (We have an Ivy grad in the White House who...shall we say...isn't doing so well.)
7
@Doug Terry I appreciate your point that we should have a uniform and reasonable bar for what constitutes a "career ending mistake." I think it was foolhardy and wrong to hire a romantic partner into a subordinate position.
But let's be clear: victims of revenge porn often don't know that they were being filmed. And if they were? Pictures and video are common ways to connect erotically among young people today. I am old(ish) - born in 1963. I hate that this new norm exposes women (but not men) to slut-shaming and blackmail. But I refuse to blame the victim here.
Let's blame the real perpetrator: The person who leaked nude pictures without consent. This is a massive violation that should be treated as a criminal sexual assault.
Ms. Hill makes it clear that the Speaker not only didn't force her hand, but promised to support her if she decided not to resign. But she did anyway. I can understand her angst, but it was her choice to make, and she made it.
12
@HKGuy This was an overwhelmingly overdetermined "choice" - that is to say, no choice at all. Whoever holds the pictures threatened to release more of them. What would you do?
Now, for the men reading this: What would you do if you were a woman and subjected to global shame and humiliation? A woman naked is a woman reduced to her sex and sexuality, whereas a man in a similar position (*cough cough Anthony Weiner*) could survive politically until it was shown he'd interacted sexually with a young teenager. Don't @ me with the Al Franken story; I agree he resigned too soon. I'm just asking you to consider how sexualized shame is borne by women in ways that will never be visited upon men.
Katie, thanks for sharing. Your story moved me. I wish you hadn't resigned, but moving forward, the world is your oyster. You have the love and support of millions.
21
From this article, it sounds like the only thing she did wrong is let her ex-husband have power over her based on basically nothing, or maybe having a body? The Speaker was right. I think adults who heard the story did the adult thing and didn't open the photos. If quitting isn't an option, run again!
21
My mother had wise words when I was growing up. "Mind your own business." I remember reading about what happened, and I did what I had learned to do from a young age, I thought to myself it was none of my business and just moved on. To me, it wasn't a big deal, maybe because I am a child of the 70s. I understand you felt the need to resign, but had you stayed, it would have blown over.
16
@Katie_Hill, I was among the many called your office with support and hope that you would not resign. You have been treated unfairly and fallen hard, and shown courage and resilience in publishing your story. You have survived to mightiest blow that anyone could strike, and you are now free.
Though the circumstances were embarrassing and the perpetrator was appalling, they have provided you the support of a national constituency and a even larger voice. Please continue to speak out and to carry on your work on behalf of our country and our people. We need your leadership and strength more than ever.
25
Thank you so very much for sharing this. I am so sorry about all that you have gone through, but am so happy that you are committed to staying in the fight. You are such an inspiration to me and to so many. I'm hoping for healing and light for you. Sending so much light your way.
14
Thank you for sharing this. I’m a psychotherapist and I think that making this a conversation is one of the most important steps toward personal and collective healing. My sense is also that you are indeed helping women and continuing to lead us all in deep way. So again thank you and I’m sending you wishes for a good next chapter.
39
This piece shows amazing courage. There are many paths to success. Use your energy, anger, intelligence and experience to find another way to create positive change for people. “Never, never, never give up.”
31
Rep. Hill, you are saving lives with this essay. On the brink and back from the edge, you are providing a lifeline to those who are about to end it all. Thanks for writing this. I hope you run for office again.
35
We are all glad that you were here, telling your side of the story, taking control of a situation that was designed to run you down, and looking ahead to the rest of your life.
Everyone, famous or not, has been touched by moments of hopelessness, feelings of powerlessness, and fears that our efforts will have been in vain. That’s universal. That’s why we know the adage that ‘this too shall pass.’
And when those dark moments do pass, we may or may not find ourselves where we had hoped. But so long as we are still here, there is potential in every day, and hope for a rainbow after the rain.
25
So sad to see the negative comments.
Didn’t we have a president who had an affair with a very young staffer, taking advantage of his position of power, who lied before the grand jury, yet he escaped conviction and kept his job?
Ignore the trolls and kudos to you Katie for keeping your head up and for moving onward and upward.
28
@BronxJon Yes we did have a president who did the same thing. Unfortunately that doesn't make what she did was right and she also admitted that it wasn't right in her resignation letter. Quoting her letter, "I know that even a consensual relationship with a subordinate is inappropriate, but I still allowed it to happen despite my better judgment,” Michelle Obama said the right words here,"No, our motto is, when they go low, we go high.” If the Democrats are going to be the ethical and moral gatekeepers, we're going to have to take the higher ground. I think Ms.Hill did the right thing and I applaud her for it and I hope we see more Democratics take the higher ground.
12
@L. Colorado
I understand and I am not questioning her decision.
My point was that it is unfair to pile on her the way many people have been doing.
7
@Bronx Jon I agree with you. It's hard to read some of these negative comments. Ms. Hill is taking control of the situation and sharing her story which in my view is courage that many people (like the negative commentors) do not have.
2
Carpe Diem Ms. Hill, a powerful article, and your will and vision is what the country needs, in any capacity, to fight the evil that has taken over our country.
20
Not only inspiring, but beautifully written. The best for you girl.
28
I followed the coverage at the time of Ms. Hill's resignation, and have read this now, yet I still don't understand what happened. I am missing something, and perhaps someone here can assist, but what would have happened if she had remained in Congress as many of us wish she had?
24
@Paul I think it was just too painful. The controversy, the humiliation, the unrelenting misdirected hatred, the fear, the inescapable mortification that attached to her and everyone she held dear. You live in Brazil, Paul. You may not realize how far Americans are from accepting the fact that everyone is sometimes naked. If I'm ever spread naked across the internet, I could only hope and pray I'd have one tenth the courage that Ms. Hill has.
1
@Paul. The investigation into whether she had an affair with the Congressional staffer would have continued.
1
@Paul ,
Nothing. She could have stayed. I think, she was traumatized.
What she will learn in life short term trauma is just that. Standing on a stage naked ...... One can move forward and just put clothes on.
It's a learning experience. She's still young. And it seems she's recovered from being naked. She'll do good things or try more than most.
Brave words. I wish you all the best moving forward, Ms. Hill - I hate what happened to you but I have every expectation that you will continue to grow as a national leader and that many good deeds and good years lie ahead for you.
17
I see folks having affairs in workplace left and right and I don’t think it’s wrong. We are all human beings and have feelings for the people around us.
But it’s important that such affairs should be appropriately declared so that there is no conflict of interest and there is no power play. I don’t do want to know the specifics of other people affairs as these are private matters.
It’s unfortunate that we are still a backward society and I am sorry that you have to resign. Also, anyone violating privacy of others should be prosecuted.
I wish you all the best for your future!
14
@Kapil
"But it’s important that such affairs should be appropriately declared...."
Affairs in my experience aren't declared-- that's why they are called "affairs".
"Declared affair"-- a new one! I hereby copyright it! Now I need to figure out what it applies to....
3
I’m a democrat. I liked Katie and beloved she had a huge future in Congress. I do not wish what happened to her on anyone.
But her version of the reasons she resigned do not square with the Speaker’s official statement.
28
@JRSmith No such conflict or contradiction exists - the Speaker assured Ms. Hill of her support and urged her not to resign. Ms. Hill opted to resign. The Speaker issued a statement of support for her decision, saying she made the right decision. To do otherwise, to criticize her for resigning, would be inexplicable, inappropriate, untoward and unsupportive
21
Ms. Hill you have a lot of talent. I hope you can learn from this very painful experience, forgive yourself, and eventually return to public service.
18
I’m a pretty cynical person and hard to move. This piece moved me a lot. You are absolutely right Katie Hill. Quitting is not an option. We fight to the end.
40
If quitting isn't an option, as you say, then why did she quit?
1
We lost a good representative. Score one for those who lack a moral compass. She did nothing wrong, it’s her prerogative to choose her battles, and you’d have to have pretty thick skin to stay on after this.
28
@Dee. Your conclusion that she did nothing wrong suggests that you did not read the stories concerning the nature of her relationships, including the texts between her and the young female staffer, texts between her husband and that staffer, and some telling texts concerning her alleged relationship with the male staffer.
14
@ehillesum All of which, needless to say, is none of our business.
"...since my relationship with a campaign staffer was exposed, since naked photos of me — taken without my knowledge and distributed without my consent..."
I was taught at an early age to never put myself in a position to be made an example of. And that sage bit of advice has served me well throughout my half century plus of life.
I'd imagine it's decidedly difficult to learn that life isn't at all about having fun. In fact, it's the 'fun' that without fail gets one into trouble.
Oh well, live and learn. For some at least.
27
@Raven
Feel better now that you’ve had your judgemental,say? Glad you’ve got it out. I’m sure when she was working in those non-profits before becoming a Congresswoman, indeed when serving as a Congresswoman, she realized that life was really all giggles and frippery, which led her to try to do more for others.... sarcasm intended in case you were unsure.
I can’t speak to the legal implications of her relationship with her staffer (I can’t remember, tbh) but people exploring and enjoying their sexuality is part of humanities birthright. Sex should be pleasurable and fun, and it is often complicated. Safely exploring desires and proclivities should not be used against someone as a mark of their character or as a means to shame, embarrass or exploit them. And you certainly do not see the type of public uproar her story received when the sexual escapades of her male counterparts come to light.
1
@Lulu
I'm sure your soothing words are of great comfort to someone whose lack of judgment cost them all that they worked hard for. Although, how hard members of Congress work is debatable.
After all, Mark Twain did accurately point out that a flea could be easily taught anything that a congressperson does.
And as far as being judgemental. Well, that's easy. Because when your own judgment has kept you out of trouble criticizing those whose lack of judgment got them into trouble is de rigueur.
Well said, and all best wishes for your future.
17
The first thing Ms. Hill, is to learn from the experience, then forgive yourself. Then get back in the game and figure out how you can best serve those in need. The haters can only hurt you if you allow them to.
I believe Monica Lewinsky gave a wonderful TED talk on how she took back her personhood, and the struggles she went through. Also wrote a wonderful article. Check them out for inspiration.
22
Ms. Hill, Thank you for this powerful column. You are a strong, talented, intelligent woman and I look forward to your return to public service.
45
Ms. Hill, you shall return. I know it.
semi-retired physician, M/66
Speaker Pelosi gave you good advice. You have survived the maelstrom, Ms. Hill. Think of all the remarkable women who are working to transform our world right now. As the father of women about your age, I must insist that you a.) do what you love; b.) do it with all heart, your soul, your might. The Creator has given you many gifts - Creation commands you to use them for the good of Creation, to heal the world. Please do! I look forward to hearing of your exploits soon!
57
Thank you for the honesty and the vision. Every day, make it yours, and new.
We’re told the best warriors win without fighting; they induce others to fail. Have at it!
15
You should not have surrendered.
If the fight was as unfair as you say (and I agree) then it should have been fought.
24
@Mark Thomason Your support is appreciated, Mr. Thomason, but a little less mansplaining would be in order. We'll have the right to give Ms. Hill our opinions about her decision when we've walked a mile, bare naked, with the cameras rolling.
@Mark Thomason Fight an unfair fight?
@sthomas1957 -- Yes. It is harder.
retired attorney F/71
"Too soon old. Too late smart." PA Dutch.
Here is how I see this beautiful smart desperately trying to be honest woman, especially knowing how my life and relationships unfolded at her age: She's getting to smart fast. Spkr Pelosi knew that too.
We learn from our failures and mistakes, not from our successes.
She has amazing company. Start with the man that the Coca Cola Board fired because he created and unsuccessfully marketed New Coke. He failed.
Anyone know how many years later and at what wage, this company's Board hired back this man for an immensely important and successful Coke turnaround? Last name begins with G so you can land on the right CEO when you read his story.
I see that future for Katie Hill. And there is no reason that she cannot choose Congress if that is her passion. That said, she may choose to not become a public figure again. Nothing limiting her contributions from whatever platform she chooses.
I turned down a top HHS policy Deputy's position during the second Reagan term. Just filling out the first round of vetting forms gave me the chills so I honored that reaction. Nominated another woman who was approachable and brilliant in that position and for a lifetime of contributions after.
Be well my friend! And do listen to your gut on what may seem like casual life decisions, but come snarling back to whack us and those we love.
28
Ms. Hill, your voice is much needed. Thank you for continuing to be in the fight. You've already made it through the worst of times, don't let the haters win this one. Thank you for your courage and for sharing your story.
22
This is a tough one.
On one hand, releasing private photos should be illegal.
On the other hand, people in power should not have affairs with staff members.
45
@Jane :
Shoulda, woulda, coulda... People will always have affairs whether they should or not. Does the punishment fit the crime? And who is being punished for releasing the photos, something that indeed should be illegal?
30
@Jane
retired attorney F/71
hmmm? What choices did you make at Katie Hill's age? Possibly, like me, before the evil whacks of the Internet were everywhere?
My rule for a lifetime with private and public persons is simple: I observe. I do not judge.
That keeps the nasties at bay--at least when I share my observations and thoughts. Build? Instead of tear down, especially where there is a pained sentient being involved? From our pets to people?
13
And meanwhile male politicians have affairs left and right and go unpunished, with a hearty slap on the back for being so foxy.
4
We were big supporters of Ms. Hill. Still are. Neither she nor Al Franken should have had to resign. Bright, well-intentioned, passionate members of the House such as Mr. Hill are our only hope against the stodgy "same old same old" attitude of the majority of the House.
101
@William Fordes
Al Franken and Katie Hill mentioned in the same breath?
I feel Ms. Hill's pain, too, but, as any #me-tooer will tell you, sex between a House member and a staffer is, by definition, non-consensual.
Not even in the same ballpark as Franken's stupid joke.
And the loss of his future accomplishments is much the greater, too.
2
@William Fordes Must be Karma in action. Both Katie Hill and Al Franken are collateral damage from #MeToo. I'm sorry folks, but a movement must be careful not to be so excessive that it eats its own young
2
We need better laws (actually any laws that don't protect the perps and platforms) so that women (usually, women) have real recourse when these attacks occur.
95
I am an attorney so I admit I am obsessed with words. And sometimes with this obsession I make a mountain out of a molehill.
However, does anyone thing it’s interesting Ms. Hill says she has completely denied the affair with the confessional( not campaign which she has had to admit) staffer? She doesn’t say it didn’t happen.
That is a big difference, especially since she resigned when an investigation was trying to uncover the truth about the alleged relationship.
50
@Mark. The point you make in your last paragraph is an excellent one. Resigning effectively ended the investigation that—based upon texts between her husband and another person Concerning the affair with the male staffer, may well have supported the allegation against her.
11
@Mark Ms. Hill denied the affair with the Congressional staffer; so did he. That affair, had it happened, and she said it did not, would have been in violation of House rules. To clarify, using your words, she DID deny the affair with the Congressional staffer, and she DID say that it didn't happen (i.e., consistent stories), so not sure what a-ha moment you've uncovered.
She did not deny the affair with the campaign staffer - which took place before she took office and was not against House rules.
She also had hundreds of intimate photos of herself published online. That, too, led to her resignation.
10
@Charlemagne
I think I said as much in my comment. And certainly the photos played a tremendous role in precipitating her resignation.
My point was in this article, she references her previous denials. She doesn’t just say this is made up. This is a lie. I never did this.
She also notes she thinks she husband was behind the leak of the photos( I tend to agree) but doesn’t say he made up that she was having an affair.
All of this is telling.
3
Don't read any of the negative comments here. I read them all; they say nothing necessary. Thank you for writing, for trying, and I hope you can come back.
78
@kschwrtz
But how will she see this one? The NYT comments don't have a positive/negative button...
1
We will repeat past mistakes to the extent we fail to tell the truth to ourselves and admit our mistakes.
20
@Rick Taylor, I'll bite. What was the mistake? Filing for divorce? What was the falsehood?
She apologized for her affair with a campaign staffer, which she's taken full responsibility for. However, that's not a House ethical violation since it happened before she took office. She denies that she had an affair with a House staffer, and I believe her.
10
@SandraH. But as another commenter pointed out, her somewhat surprising resignation ended the investigation into whether that 2nd affair occurred. Which is why some reasonably don’t believe her.
8
I’ve seen some of the photos of Ms. Hill. They don’t look like they were taken without her knowledge or consent to me.
I’m sure many others were taken surreptitiously, but at least some weren’t. And when she says in her essay that her husband threatened to ruin her, and she knew he could— I interpret that as she knew about at least some of the photos. I mean, she was looking clearly at the camera.
No, that excuses none of her husband’s behavior or society’s, for that matter. What happened wasn’t fair. But it couldn’t have been a surprise.
39
@Matt Does she say that ALL the photos were taken without her consent? Come on, you’re nitpicking.
2
@Matt Why did this need to be said at all? There is absolutely nothing immoral or suspect about having nude photos taken. The only important points are that those photos were leaked without her consent, that there WERE photos taken without her consent, and that she was threatened.
2
@Matt. in her interview with Chris Hayes, she says that she had posed for intimate photos for her husband during happier times (which of us hasn't?) and that she knew he could publish those.
How did you happen to see the photos?
2
Short version: A lot of us are glad you're in the fight and grateful for your voice. Thank you.
86
Thank you. Be strong. Your strength will carry you on to great things. There are many of us behind you. Good luck.
52
Thank you for your honesty. You still have much to give and I know you will find your next path.
Your strength will give hope to others. Know that others wish you only the best.
55
I thought her decision was very brave at the time. I think this article is even more amazing. I do not think that we have seen the last of this woman. She may well be the embodiment of the phoenix, that is to say obtaining new life by arising from the ashes of its predecessor. Good Luck
77
@Ken
So that's what phoenix means!
I was an avid and enthusiastic supporter and campaign volunteer for Katie Hill. I can’t claim to know her, but she probably would recognize my face. We spoke a few times at campaign events and I developed tremendous respect for her intelligence and gravitas, especially for someone so young. I’m not sure that I had a right to do so, but I was very proud of her and felt honored to work on the campaign.
From the very beginning she told people that she was bisexual and was very open about it. Like most people I was horrified when the pictures were published, but they only depicted behavior by someone who she had always made clear she was. Her involvement with a campaign staffer is questionable, but men running for office get away with this and other behavior far worse. The candidate and staff build a camaraderie and close knit bond, so these things happen, it is understandable. It happened before she was in office. She broke no congressional rules. Her husband betrayed her in the worst possible way, but he was also exploited by Republican operatives.
I am deeply disappointed in her that she didn’t have the strength to stay in office and fight this out. Obviously after reading this piece she was in tremendous pain, but she had extraordinary support in her district. She would have gained much respect if she had. Unfortunately her district and the country lost a potentially great leader.
51
Katie- thank you for your thoughtful piece and service. Please run again and continue to fight for what’s right. I’m sorry you resigned, but I understand your unselfish decision. I’d vote for you in a nanosecond!
59
You have so much more to give and are an inspiration. Don’t stop now. All women should support each other so that we can fix our country.
32
Thank you for this honest and searing summary. I'm sad for what Ms Hill and her family and others impacted--went through. I hope some kind of justice and remediation for the cyber threats and criminal breach of privacy -- will yet occur. These heinous acts need to receive prosecution and laws made.
38
I still do not understand why she resigned. So she had an affair. We have a guy in the WH who is accused of rape and myriad other laws with an entire political party providing cover for his crime spree and their argument against impeachment is “let the voters decide.” Then why couldn’t we let the voters in Ms. Hill’s district decide?
75
@JMM I don’t think you truly understand how much more heavily this sort of thing falls on women compared to men. Personally, I mean. She’ll have gotten the political equivalent of Gamergate in terms of online, phone and in-person attacks. Men do not come in for the same sheer volume of personal malice that women do.
Yes, she could have stayed in her role. But it clearly was impacting her life in a way that she couldn’t see continuing. It’s not always the brave ones who keep going - sometimes the ones who endure are just plain psychopaths, while the ones who correctly assess the limits of their endurance and change their course are the brave ones.
32
@JMM Do you think she would have defended her seat against a Republican in 2020 given what voters now know about her combined with all the innuendo and lies that would be spread about her?
That is why she resigned, no matter how many nice things her party leadership may have to say about her.
1
@Felicia very good and interesting take on this. I’m an almost 60 guy, and I’ve always disagreed with and chose to not abide by the double standards in our society. I am offended and completely discouraged by the attacks on young women, for being young women.
1
I voted for you, Katie Hill, and I would do so again. I kept your bumper sticker on my car far after you had already won, to make sure everyone in Santa Clarita and Los Angeles knew exactly who I supported.
45
You need a big ego to find the exhausting travails of modern political life tolerable. Only an insatiable delight in soaking up attention and flattery suffices to overcome the exhausting absurdities of existence in the public fish bowl. It is surely not a job for a sensitive or introspective soul.
On that level, Ms. Hill was obviously a highly qualified candidate. Is there a Guinness record for the most intensive use of first-person pronouns -- I, my, me -- in a confessional essay? If so, Ms. Hill would be a serious contender.
But even the sincerely and innocently self-absorbed need to exercise some degree of caution once the pinnacle of political celebrity is attained. You're swimming with the sharks, make no mistake about it. The belief that your aura of celebrity will protect you from harm is hopelessly naive.
No doubt Ms. Hill's fall was attended by shabby and reprehensible treatment. And hearing her describe it makes for an interesting story. But this reader came away with the impression that her penchant for reckless foolishness made her demise inevitable -- not a question of whether it would happen but simply when and how.
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@woofer
If she were a he, her actions would not be considered reckless...but would be applauded by many men, and easily dismissed by many women.
That she trusted people was probably her greatest failing. We are all human and make errors in judgement.
It's interesting that we have a president that is far more immoral, vicious and without any basic human decency than Ms Hill, but gets a pass from 30+% of this country...including alleged christians.
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@woofer When people are married, they tend to trust each other. Most married couples have taken intimate photos of one another. No one ever thinks ahead to the possibility of their own divorce when they take out loans together, become parents, buy a home, or share intimate photos and our deepest secrets. In those times, no one is thinking, "What if our marriage disintegrates, what if I have an affair and he finds out, what if this person I love so completely becomes my worst enemy, committed to my destruction?" Is it "reckless foolishness" to trust someone that completely? If so, we should abolish marriage as an institution.
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@woofer. one mistake--which she's acknowledged and apologized for--is not a penchant.
She's telling a very personal story about her own painful experience with revenge porn. I don't know how you tall that story without the first-person pronoun. I know a few self-absorbed politicians, most notably the one in the White House, but Katie Hill isn't one of them.
Thank you for taking the high road. Your baring of soul made me cry for its honesty and insightfulness. I have 4 teen granddaughters and I already worry about the choices they are making that may come back to hurt them in the near future. I hope they will learn from your experience.
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Maybe I missed it in some prior article. Why did you resign? The photos themselves did not seem to big problem. Probably a billion images of naked bodies are looked at by Americans (yes, 99% of the lookers are male) each day to such a point that it is no big deal anymore. Your images did not seem particularly outrageous and did not seem shameful. I am not sure that you made a mistake of any kind. If you run again and I am in your district, I would certainly give you consideration for my vote as if this incident never happened.
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@David Binko After a little research, the sexual relations with someone on her campaign staff was one of the reasons Ms. Hill stated she felt it was correct to resign. Probably the added pressure of an alleged sexual affair with someone on her congressional staff which is forbidden under Congressional rules also led her to believe it was best to resign. I don't know when it is the right time to stop apologizing for one's mistakes and repeating the details of why they have resigned. I think it would have helped with this story if Ms. Hill or the NYT's would have added the context of why she resigned, because it seems to me it was mainly the sexual relations with the campaign staffer and alleged affair with a congressional staffer that was the reason, not the alleged crime perpetrated on Ms. Hill of her husband releasing the explicit photos.
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Peace and courage, Ms. Hill.
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This shows quite clearly we need to put laws around the internet.
Every ISP and VPN provider should be required to, with a police order, provide the name of the person who posts something.
Posting naked images of a person without their consent is a kind of assault and needs to be seen as such by the law.
And my thoughts go out to you: a brave lady.
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@psi The name of a person who posts “something”? Sorry, that is way too broad. Opinions and substantiated facts should be permitted. Libel and photos taken without consent should not.
I hate it for her that she had to go through this, and I don't wish anyone this kind of pain and humiliation. She seems like a very bright and capable young woman, so it's a waste. But it can nevertheless serve as a warning to other young women (and men) to protect themselves in vulnerable moments. In the age of cellphone cameras and social media, it pays to be cautious.
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Speaking as a person who lost a sibling to suicide. I am glad you did not take your life. Suicide inflicts a pain on the survivors that I would not wish on anyone. Life is hard, and sometimes unfair. But suicide is not the answer. I wish you well in your future endeavors.
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Revenge porn is a growing problem in our interconnected world, and it affects primarily women across the political spectrum. Years ago Laura Ingraham was the victim of an ex-boyfriend who shared an intimate photo of a much younger Ingraham on the internet. These images can never be fully erased.
Some years ago there was a young gay man who committed suicide after his roommate secretly filmed his encounter with a lover in their dorm room. I'm grateful that Katie Hill had the strength to avoid that kind of despair.
These images are used to humiliate their victims; no media platform has the right to publish them, anymore than a media platform would have the right to show video of a rape in progress. Even public figures have the right to expect a degree of privacy.
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Stop making the videos.
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Revenge porn is a growing problem in our interconnected world, and it affects primarily women across the political spectrum. Years ago Laura Ingraham was the victim of an ex-boyfriend who shared an intimate photo of a much younger Ingraham on the internet. These images can never be fully erased.
Some years ago there was a young gay man who committed suicide after his roommate secretly filmed his encounter with a lover in their dorm room. I'm grateful that Katie Hill had the strength to avoid that kind of despair.
These images are used to humiliate their victims; no media platform has the right to publish them, anymore than a media platform would have the right to show video of a rape in progress. Even public figures have the right to expect a degree of privacy.
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This young woman must have some hustle and brains to maneuver herself in to Congress at such a young age. That’s the good news. Unfortunately, she also seems to have some alarming blind spots concerning her judgement. Frankly, I don’t care if she wants to get a little freaky at home on her own time, but doing it with junior members of her staff -and photos? That’s a time bomb waiting to go off. (I don’t believe she didn’t know about pictures being taken, either.) With that being said, I do think she’s been punished amply and publicly. She made some mistakes, but she also certainly took her lumps for it. She needs to let it go and move on. And so do we.
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@JT, I disagree that she needs to let it go and move on. She's addressing an important issue that we've ignored too long. She's exactly the articulate, intelligent woman to do this important job.
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@JT Breaking news: it is entirely ok to consent to have nude pics taken of you. What is NOT ok is for anyone in possession of them to post them without your permission. So let’s all haters drop the bogus “gotcha” moment of “You knew they were being taken.”
Personally, I wish she felt more free to defend her sexuality.
This was an unequaled moment to say (even if resigning the office) that her sexuality is none of the public's business and furthermore that she is not ashamed of her sexual exploration.
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It took a lot of courage and fortitude to write this article. Those are two virtues conspicuously lacking in Congress. This person's departure from Congress has been our loss.
I hope that she can find other, much better ways to lead a meaningful, happy life or re-enter public life in some capacity if that is what she decides to do.
It sometimes happens that the storms and tempests in life steer our ships to happier ports than they otherwise would have known. May that be true for Ms. Hill.
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Katie Hill: "People have speculated that Speaker Pelosi or the party leadership asked me to resign because of the photos and the allegations about me. That could not be further from the truth."
Nancy Pelosi (official statement): “Congresswoman Katie Hill came to Congress with a powerful commitment to her community and a bright vision for the future, and has made a great contribution as a leader of the Freshman Class. She has acknowledged errors in judgment that made her continued service as a Member untenable. We must ensure a climate of integrity and dignity in the Congress, and in all workplaces.”
It sure SOUNDS like Mrs. Pelosi and the party leadership asked her to resign for those very reasons.
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@Peter Blau No, it sounds like there was something else. Most likely there was something to the affair rumor.
Like most here I completely support Ms. Hill's politics, find her husband's alleged behavior despicable and understand her decision to resign rather than be dragged through an ethics investigation that many would have used to crucify rather than censure her. I am also heartened to hear she is healing and moving forward. I think she will have a great 2nd act.
At the same time I would ask many of those commenting here to examine what their attitudes and reactions to this piece would have been if the sex of the people involved had been reversed. I can't help thinking that the support for a man in her position would be much less sympathetic.
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@Chas. I would never support anyone in power having an affair with a subordinate. It's that simple. The husband, the photos - terrible and not something for which she should have resigned. There has to be more to this.
@Chas. Bill Clinton finished his presidency. Obviously, support for him was MORE sympathetic
ms. hill, hang in there. none of us are perfect. the values that you have and your family and friends will get you through this dark time.
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There is a need for those who are "all in." Please do not fade into oblivion, but do something great for those who have been bullied and made victims for just being human.
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Katie, I am so very proud to have been, & still am, a huge supporter. I knew early on in this race that you were the one there, was no denying it. In fact, I had to eat a bit of crow with Emily's List for opposing your candidacy before I had an opportunity to sit with you & discuss your plans. Boy, am I happy that I did sit with you that day, & so many days since then! I've come to admire, respect, & love you and your family. To this day, my daughter continues to look up to you. She believes in you, & the woman you inspire her to be.
I'm standing by what I wrote in May 2018...
As a local leader, & party official it is pretty easy for me to pledge my support for a person that stands true to our values, & stands up for the constituents of the whole district.
Good leaders rise up. Great leaders launch.
Great leaders are never self-serving. Great leaders see their role as being of service to others. Great leaders draw strength from diversity. Great leaders lead by example with an overriding guiding vision or purpose. Great leaders know how to be themselves and are proud of who they are. Great leaders have the ability to inspire confidence in others. Great Leaders learn to lead by following. Great Leaders know when to take advice. Great leaders SERVE ALL members of their community. Great Leaders NEVER GIVE UP.
Katie is a great leader & I am proud to stand behind her.
I'm looking forward to seeing what's next.
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That photos of her were spread around is deplorable. That should not happen to anyone.
That’s one relevant issue. There’s another, completely separate issue.
She has admitted having an affair with a campaign staffer. Seems like just the sort of power-position taking-advantage situation that has been rightly and increasingly decried lately, costing lots of powerful people their jobs and reputations. People—men and women—who do this must be help accountable. Including Hill.
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@Franco51
It appears (and she admits) that she had the affair prior to her taking office - therefore not a violation of the congressional rules. So what? It's none of my business, or yours. That is the only relevant issue here. Perhaps those who judge and misjudge her here based on their on biased morals are the ones who must be held accountable. Not her.
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@Franco51: She had an affair (maybe). This tidy and very incomplete little group of champs, some stellar some execrable, slept around all the time and the living amongst them are probably probably still quite active: Jefferson, Gingrich, Giuliani, Trump, William O. Douglas, Kennedy, Johnson, Clarence Thomas, Clinton, Strom Thurmond, and Brett Kavanaugh. Who amongst them has paid a price?
These men were and are our leaders. Katie Hill should still be in Congress.
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@Mark Shyres
I of course never suggested that it was while in office it that it violated Congressional rules.
Read what I actually wrote. It clearly is exactly the kind of abuse of a superior over a subordinate worker that has rightly drawn the ire of all of us thanks to the MeToo movement. That’s not only my morals, but those who want to protect people from having their bosses take sexual advantage of them.
Do you disagree with MeToo calling these abuses to our attention? I don’t.
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I so wish Katie Hill had not resigned.
She ended her relationship with the woman working on her campaign as soon as she knew she had won the election.
She was aware of the rules of the house on relationships with staffers and respected and abided by them.
When she ended her relationship with the other woman. she wasn't even yet a congressperson and not yet subject to the House rules, but still ended the relationship before her swearing-in.
So what if people saw her nude. Having a personal life and a sex lifestyle that millions of other couples enjoy is not a crime and really no ones' business if it did not affect her work.
How many male politicians have affairs and aren't intimidated into resigning. How many male politicians are homo or bi-sexual? It doesn't matter.
If it did matter, then Trump should resign for having an affair while his wife was home pregnant with his son.
I hope Katie Hill will run for Congress again because I think she'd win again by an even great margin.
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