Part 1. I enjoy spending time alone, it’s often relaxing and calming having time to myself where no one bothers me. Having time to myself means listening to music or reading, talking to myself and only hearing my thoughts, having no worries in my mind. Spending time alone means a lot to me actually, it allows me to get to know myself more, explore my interests and thoughts on things I enjoy or a current book I’m reading, even a show I’m hooked onto. I often seek out these opportunities alone all the time, hoping my family have to go somewhere and leave me behind so it’s just me and my thoughts. Showers are one of these times that I find kind of endearing to me. Where I sit under the water for a good 30 minutes listening to music and relooking my past or how my day at school went.
Part 2. Though like how the article states, being lonely can be painful, sometimes your thoughts overpower you and corrupt you, ruining your mood and bringing you down. I used to not be able to be alone, it made me scared and terrified, longing to be involved in some type of human interaction. The more time I chose to spend by myself though, the more social I became and the more comfortable I was with being alone. I admire that the article mentions being alone has mental, social, and emotional benefits as well as having the ability to prepare you for negative situations. It shows that it is OKAY to be alone! It’s absolutely okay to be alone if you willingly WANT to be. There’s a fine line between choosing to be alone and having no choice BUT to be alone and that is something I can relate to strongly. I often become bored but not lonely, I enjoy being alone but I really used to not like it, sometimes I still don’t! The world can be really judgmental and it can feel like there's a million eyes staring at you and watching every move and that’s something anyone can relate to at least one time in their life. There's a distinct feeling that allows you to know rather its loneliness or solitude. Even now, I still have that feeling of loneliness. When you can tell the feeling, that’s when this whole wave of relief washes over you. It feels so rewarding and free to be able to be perfectly fine with being alone. Its a truly beautiful experience.
Being an only child, I already spend a pretty good amount of time alone. When both of my parents aren’t home it’s just my dog and I, so I’ve gotten pretty used to being alone often- but when it comes to either spending time alone or hanging out with my friends, I would much rather be around other people.
In the article it talks about how being lonely can negatively impact your mental health if you make it, but time alone isn’t always necessarily a bad thing to have sometimes. Marini Higgs writes that “...solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.” saying that time alone in some ways can boost our skills when engaging with others.
Choosing to spend time alone rather than going out is sometimes the better choice though. If you’re stressed out or not in a good mental state, being by yourself can give you an opportunity to recollect and calm yourself.
Being an only child, I already spend a pretty good amount of time alone. When both of my parents aren’t home it’s just my dog and I, so I’ve gotten pretty used to being alone often- but when it comes to either spending time alone or hanging out with my friends, I would much rather be around other people.
In the article it talks about how being lonely can negatively impact your mental health if you make it, but time alone isn’t always necessarily a bad thing to have sometimes. Marini Higgs writes that “...solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.” saying that time alone in some ways can boost our skills when engaging with others.
Choosing to spend time alone rather than going out is sometimes the better choice though. If you’re stressed out or not in a good mental state, being by yourself can give you an opportunity to recollect and calm yourself.
I'd say I spend more time alone now but not really by choice mostly just because most of my friends are busy and constantly having to work with a lot of people's schedules is hard. I mean nonetheless I still make it happen cause friendships and time with people I love is always something I look forward to too. I find it hard to be alone, I mean in a sense it puts me out of my comfort zone but at the same it's just boring and hits really hard at some points but I’ve kind of learnt to just look at things through my perspective and enjoy what I can.
When I am left alone, I’ll try to plan things like find what I want to do later in the week and set goals for myself. One way I do this is through working out, constantly consuming information from the internet and finding meals to make and little life hacks, like just little things I try to distract myself.
I like the comparison between solitude and loneliness cause it's something people might not seem to understand like its okay to be alone once in a while I've seen this a bunch definitely during the summer where you can hang out with the same people for like 3 days, people just want to be alone for a little bit lay in there bed think about what happened and process it. But being lonely like the article says is usually bad for you mental health.
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@Mauricio Block 1 I think being alone can definitely help you become a more social person I feel like its that down time that just helps you calm down and think, I definitely think it gives you a little more confidence I couldn't tell you why though because i don't even know, but it's something you kind of have to do to just understand, also when I am alone I usually plan things better and see into the future about how I wanna go about things.
I think Dr. Nguyen's advice is great, when your by yourself you can dedicate more time to yourself, people who struggle being alone I feel just need to see it from another perspective as in this time spent alone has its advantages sure it also has its disadvantages but you should make the most of what you can and work on yourself, your craft you know practice things like sports, study, plan things out. Life is what you make of it so don't let being alone stop you from doing anything, use it as a time designated for you.
This article is very encouraging, lifting, and opened my eyes. Oftentimes, we confuse being alone with loneliness. Multiple doctors stated in the article that being alone can help you be more creative, open your mind, maintain relationships, and help you to regulate your emotions. Personally, I love to be alone. I love going on walks, boat rides, bike rides, or just being left alone in my room. It is so draining to be with people all the time and it is hard to treat yourself right when you don’t have time alone to do that. My favorite quote from the article was, “In a twist on the golden rule: treat yourself as you would treat others. Don’t flake.” It is just as important to treat yourself with love and respect as it is to treat someone else like that. It can be hard to find time to be alone especially while all your friends are together but it is more important in the end.
I feel like I am alone for a fair amount of time each day which has really improved things like getting my homework done, reading, and recapping what I need to do better. Dr. Nguyen recommends, “Take the opportunity to say, ‘This is the time where I can give something to myself,’ and just endorse that. I agree with that because it can be helpful to understand and think about why it is important to spend time alone. It can open your mind to the pros of being alone.
You worded it perfectly Lola. That is exactly how I feel and I strongly agree with you. Being alone is refreshing when it's near the end of the day and you have time to reflect to yourself or spend time doing something you admire. This article truly was inspiring and encouraging! It reminded me how comfortable I am with being alone and how it's perfectly okay being alone it shouldn't be something that is frowned upon.
I’m glad the article quoted Dr. Nguyen on his thoughts when it comes to introversion and extroversion not being part of the equation when it comes to the benefits of some time alone. Being an extrovert doesn’t mean you want/need to be around other people all the time, by definition it just means you are: “An outgoing, overtly expressive person.” So, to clarify, yes it’s true that I replenish my energy by hanging out with my friends, and that I would rather spend five minutes with them than half-an-hour by myself but it’s not because I can’t be alone.
Lifting, running, homework, games, I can do or play or whatever all of these things by myself--and it doesn’t particularly disinterest me. I’d just rather have somebody there with me, because I enjoy company of all sorts. I spend somewhere between one to three hours alone every day, excluding sleep, which I think is fairly reasonable. Usually I’ll just be doing homework, or working out, or playing a game when none of my friends are online--like if I’d taken a sick day from school or something. Being alone allows you to think more clearly about things, your judgement isn’t clouded by the presence of others. To those who have a hard time being alone: Consider what was said in the article, start with “baby-steps” like maybe just twenty minutes of reading, or ten minutes just meditating/being alone with your thoughts. Sometimes it’s nice to be alone.
I love spending time alone or being in solitude. I used to absolutely despise it out of fear but now I have realized that solitude or alone time is absolutely necessary to my mental health/wellbeing. When Emily Roberts, a psychotherapist, said "In fact, getting better at identifying moments when we need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions and experiences, like stress and burnout." I agree completely with her opinion on the topic. When I am stressed, overwhelmed, or "burnt out," I love my alone time. I truly cherish and sometimes look forward to it. I think when you are going through hard times or need to make a tough decision at school, in your relationships or your job, taking some time to become level-headed/see clearly is so important.
The evidence from the article, "Choosing to spend time doing things by yourself can have mental, emotional and social benefits, but the key to reaping those positive rewards comes from choosing to spend time alone." And when Dr. Grice said, “Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are." This is so true. When I choose to spend time alone and maybe have a mental health day where I treat myself to a coffee and run errands, afterward I feel so much better mentally. I try to spend at least one day out of the weekend alone for my mental health.
@Olivia D'Anci, Block 4 I agree you cant really be a social person without spending some time alone like it comes hand in hand and I've seen a lot of people take mental health days which is cool to see as I think everyone should take a day of once in a while.
Spending time in solitude is something I prioritize every day. It used to scare me, but now it is something I enjoy over many other things. Whenever I am hit with a tough situation, spending time alone is when I think best and when I can make the most level-headed decisions and solutions.
I think the evidence provided in the text is so important and helpful. “Valuing solitude doesn’t really hurt your social life, in fact, it may add to it”, says the psychologist. I think this is so true, and have experienced firsthand how prioritizing a little bit of alone time each day or even each week can’t do much harm to your social life. It is all just prioritizing yourself over others, which is one of the most important life lessons most people have yet to learn.
Solitude and loneliness are two things that people can get really mixed up sometimes. Knowing the difference is vital to even being able to fully enjoy spending time alone in the first place. Loneliness has a much more negative tone to it, which is why people have a hard time being by themselves. Solitude is something you enjoy. Loneliness is something you almost suffer from. There is a fine line between the two concepts, you just have to distinguish it first.
@Bentley W, Block 2 That's awesome, Bentley! I agree that the most useful time to reflect is when you are alone and it can be scary at first but it ends up helping. Also, knowing the difference between being alone and being lonely is important to comprehend.
I like how this article shows understanding both ways, how some people really benefit from being alone and others feel very lonely and are negatively affected. The author gives advice to those who do not enjoy being by themselves like saying we have to CHOOSE to spend time alone, and how we view being alone as loneliness.
Personally I need to take some advice from the article since I never benefit from being alone.I feel like there are better things I could be doing with my time rather than sitting alone, and often when I am alone it's a pity party for myself full of negativity. I feel better by going out, helping others, being with others which I’m not always able to do 24/7.
Reading some other peoples responses saying how helpful alone time is for them makes me want to give it more thought and take this article's advice.
@AC
I love what you are saying about the article and how you can relate and learn from it. The article does a good job of stating that being alone is a choice that everyone can learn from. It will always seem like there are better things to do than just sitting at home by yourself, but just taking a step back sometimes from the hustle and bustle of the world can be super helpful to anyone!
There’s a very big difference between being alone and lonely. Relating back to quarantine, I never possibly thought I could be so mentally unhealthy from not being social, and I think you could say that about the majority of people. Being isolated was lonely, but being alone by choice like I stated, is a very different thing. It’s good to be alone sometimes, like the article stated there's a freedom in only having to focus on yourself, with no pressure to not have to talk to anyone. But I think especially teens today suffer from the need to be around people all the time. Most of the time it’s seen as so embarrassing to sit alone at lunch, or in class, or sometimes even walking to class by yourself. The article mentioned the common phenomenon of “filler friendships”, being friends that you mostly only hang out with because you ARE afraid of being alone. It’s flawed how much society has painted a picture that we always need to be hanging out with people, and that being alone means that you’re not cool or something.
Though I make these points, I struggle with the perception of being alone just like any other teenager. Even though I’m mostly walking in the halls alone, I’m usually looking at my phone so I don’t have to face it directly. It’s just anxiety sure, but I’m sure everyone feels this way at some point. But I think if everyone spent a little more time alone, there wouldn’t be such a stigma around it.
@KS, I could not agree more with your ending: "if everyone spent a little more time alone, there wouldn't be such a stigma around it." It's a self-beneficial activity that should be normalized, because not nearly enough people do it--or do it the "right way" so to speak. Being with oneself can help to develop confidence by becoming more comfortable with who you are, your face, your body, your personality, just you as a whole. Don't get me wrong, socializing is important but it shouldn't come at the expense of some good old-fashioned quality alone time.
“Are you good at being alone?” , a question I really have to think about because I think you can find out a lot about yourself just by being alone. Many people can just think that they enjoy having alone time, but for me I think of all the times I'm on my phone just sitting in my room in silence, to then always have those times where I just think about how it would be nice to at least know someone is there with you if you ever wanted to talk and not have to wonder if they are bored or don't get the same out of it as you do. Now don't get me wrong I also do have those times where I think about how I'm glad no one is with me, but I think really everyone has a mindset like this and it's good to have a happy medium in life.
I think quality time with people is as important as it is for having alone time. I would say I am good at being alone when I truly just want some time to just chill and not think about anything besides the time I am having with myself. So what would your answer be?
I would say I’m pretty good at being alone, well at certain times. Like any other teenager you probably have heard them use a word “FOMO” which stands for “fear of missing out” which I suffer from. A lot of people suffer with this which to me, is pretty normal. I think having FOMO can be a healthy thing to have but also extremely unhealthy at the same time. I think it’s great to want to be with your friends all the time, but you don’t want to get too attached where it seems like you can’t function without them. I love spending time with my friends, it’s how it gets me through the week. But, I also love my alone time. Where I can just lay in my bed and relax. Think about whatever and have no worries.
It was quite fascinating to read about Dr. Nguyen’s research “We have some evidence to show that valuing solitude doesn’t really hurt your social life, in fact, it might add to it,” It’s so interesting to see that valuing solitude can add to your social life rather than hurting it because you would think the more time you spend alone, the lesser of a social life you would have. But, at the same time it makes total sense because people with big social lives can get burnt out very quickly, to a point that it ruins their alone time and they almost suffer.
Spending time alone is one of my favorite things to do, when I need to have some peace and quiet. But having a social life is very important to me as well. I think the key is to just balance everything out.
@Haylee French, Block 4 I agree with you 100% I feel like we all love to hang with our friends but its also good to be able to function in life without them. Being able to just be alone and read a book or go for a bike ride or go for a walk all by yourself can make your day so much calmer and it can eventually help with your relations with your friends in the long run.
Personally, I am not very good at spending time alone unless it's for something such as homework or when I just need a minute to myself to think and relax. After a while I do begin to get bored and want to be with someone so I have someone to hangout with and talk to. I spend a few hours a day alone depending on my day but most of this time is either doing homework, eating, watching television or being on the phone.
Sometimes loneliness does get in the way of solitude, whenever I am alone for a long time it becomes loneliness instead of solitude. The main factor of me not being able to have alone time is my phone, I'm always checking my phone for messages or sports updates or calls etc. my phone is always there as a distraction.
I do think being alone can make you more confident by letting you know that you don't need anyone's help and that you can be an independent person when you choose to be. Benefits I have experienced from time alone is the ability to think about life and mistakes I have made, my future in school and in my social life.
"You are your first choice" I love that Dr. Nguyen said this, it makes me really think about the time I spend alone and how important it is and what it allows for me to do. When you're alone you are the only thing that matters in the moment.
After reading this article I do think I will take a few more minutes each day to be alone and think more about the day that I am having and how I can make it better if necessary.
@Andrew Campbell Block 1 I totally agree with this. I believe that when you're alone for an extended period of time, solitude does start to become loneliness. I know I've experienced that before because most of my time is spent in solitude. I also like when Dr. Nguyen said, "You are your first choice", this made me feel like I don't appreciate the time I spend in solitude or myself for that matter.
@Andrew Campbell Block 1 I agree with what you said about loneliness becoming solitude when you are alone for too long. I think your phone is also a major distraction when it comes to really valuing your alone time and I will sometimes power off my phone so it does not get in the way of my time in solitude.
This article definitely gave me some comfort in my enjoyment of spending time alone. Before the pandemic, I considered myself to be a very outgoing person, who always needed to be around people in order to feel like myself. I love how Dr. Nguyen says that “Enjoying the benefits of time alone isn’t a question of being an introvert or extrovert.” Enjoying time by yourself isn’t something you only do as an introvert, and I think a lot of people need to realize that.
Being alone is something that I really learned to love over the past 2 years. People mistake being alone for being lonely, and in my opinion, there is a huge difference. Being able to identify when you need time for yourself is a skill that not many people have, but it’s significant to making yourself a better person in another relationship. Sometimes, you need a break, and spending time alone helps you learn how to communicate with others in what you need at that exact moment. I don’t have a lot of free time, but when I do, I usually prioritize myself over hanging out with my friends just because I know I don’t get that chance often.
This article gave me so much insight on just how many proven benefits there are on being alone. In the end, I do believe I’m good at being alone, but I wouldn’t consider myself lonely. Being alone teaches you how to be appreciative and grateful of the company of others, which is why I think everybody should at least try to prioritize alone time sometimes.
@Rahi, Block 2 I think the line that says "Being alone teaches you how to be appreciative and grateful of the company of others" is a great way to show your point. I do agree that you can see the little things we take for granted when they are gone, especially having the company of others. Prioritizing yourself and your mental state over others is such an important thing that people really do forget about nowadays.
I am actually pretty good at being alone. I can always find something to do and keep myself occupied when I’m alone. I think that everyone needs some time to be alone. I think that being alone has many benefits. I also feel that being alone for too long is not great. There are times where it’s good to be alone but I don’t feel that you should be alone for too long. Personally I think that being alone all the time can impact your mental health negatively. Assistant professor Thuy-vy Nguyen said “It’s not that solitude is always good, but it can be good” and I completely agree with that. There are times that it's good to be alone and times to not.
I enjoy most of my alone time but I also like being out with friends and family. I think that finding a good balance in between is super important. I don’t like being alone for too long but I feel that some alone time is necessary. Thuy-vy Nguyen also said “We have some evidence to show that valuing solitude doesn't really hurt your social life, in fact, it might add to it”. I completely agree with this, I never really thought about the benefits that being alone comes with. Even with all the benefits of being alone I do sometimes feel that I have too much alone time. Overall I value my alone time but I also value my time not being alone. I feel that I am close to finding a pretty decent balance between alone time and time with other people.
When I was younger I didn't understand how beneficial being alone was mentally and physically but because of covid it helped me to find a new part of my life that I was in much need of.
Before covid I felt like any chance I got I had to be with my friends hanging out going to the beach, mall, skate park etc but once covid hit I was stuck and it was really hard for me because the only people I could interact with was my family. “Being alone hurts,” said Micaela Marini Higgins and it really does. Being alone, having to do school work and occasionally going outside took a toll on me and it did in fact hurt me to be alone.
I figured out a way to be alone but not to feel lonely because that was the best way to cope with what I was going through at the time and a way for me to feel less alone was basketball. My alone time helped me to love basketball. Whenever I needed a break from whatever was happening during online school or quarantine I would find a way to shoot hoops and it helped me to find who I really was and I became really reliant on it.
My best advice to someone who doesn't enjoy being alone is to try doing something you love and it will help to feel less alone. If that means when you are in need of alone time and don't quite know what to do with your time just read a book, if that's your thing or draw, if you're into that sort of stuff. Ultimately, In order to use being alone to your advantage you must find a way to feel less alone just by doing the things you enjoy.
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The article really struck a chord when it mentioned “filler friendships”. I am someone who really values and enjoys being alone, and it’s sort of crazy to me that people will just hang out with their friends all the time, even if it’s boring, just because they can’t stand being alone. Don’t get me wrong, I’m super outgoing, and love hanging out with my friends, but I honestly can’t stand hanging out with someone and then doing absolutely nothing, as I begin to think of all the things I could be doing myself. Like the article said, you don’t have to be an introvert to value and make use out of alone time. We live in a day and age where it is so easy to drown out our thoughts, and many people can’t stand to be in their own head a little.
I wouldn’t necessarily say I am an introvert, but being alone really helps me to feel more recharged, and be a better friend. Like they say, you can’t pour from an empty cup. I can easily get overwhelmed, and when I am extra busy I just feel like thoughts are racing around in my head, and I can’t pinpoint any of them. That is why journaling, working out, and walking are so important to me. I absolutely love walking in my neighborhood, as it is so peaceful, and I’ve started praying or just thinking, instead of always listening to podcasts when I walk. I am able to think in a much more positive manner when I am outside and moving my body, and I look forward to my daily walks.
Part 2 in comments:
@Miia B, Block 4
Part 2:
Many of my hobbies/things I love to do are things that I do alone, like working out, singing, playing piano, walking, and reading. Although I love chatting with and being with my friends as often as I can, I’ve realized that I am much happier and more at peace when I take time to be alone and do things that I love. I will never just have “filler friendships”, and I know I’m much happier because of that.
I thoroughly enjoy spending time alone. Whether it's sequestered away in my room, on a quiet walk with my dogs, or blasting music while in the car, being alone is a time for me to relax. I can breathe normally and be calm without the disturbances of outside forces. I know a lot of people, especially extroverts, have a very large social battery, and can hang out with others constantly without getting drained. I am definitely not like that. I love my friends, and I cherish the time I spend with them, but sometimes I just need to be away from the world.
This is not to say that I’m lonely, or that I enjoy feeling lonely. Being lonely is a terrible, terrible feeling, and it’s an easy emotion to fall into if you don’t correctly spend time by yourself. The phenomenon in this generation of “FOMO” is incredibly damaging to the wonderful effects of being alone. I found Dr. Grice’s take on this really insightful; “It can also help you re-evaluate “filler” friendships: relationships you maintain because you’d rather do anything on a Friday night besides staying at home by yourself, even at the cost of spending time with people whose company you don’t enjoy.” The fear of loneliness drives people to make themselves suffer. One of the most important things you can do to remedy this is to overcome that fear of loneliness and embrace the solitude.
@Avery Braithwaite Agreed. You need to correctly spend time with yourself in a healthy way without the anxiety of thinking of others in order to really reap the benefits of being alone.
I was surprised by how many benefits solitude can have, when you’re choosing it for yourself. Emily Roberts made a good point, which is that identifying when we need this time alone is something we should all become better at. She also stated how this can help with stress, which would be very beneficial for me. The author did a good job of describing the difference between loneliness and simply being alone, which made me less hesitant to spend time in solitude.
I don’t spend much time alone, simply because my busy schedule won't allow it. Between school, work, homework, sports, obligatory family dinners, and plans with friends, I don’t get much time alone, let alone free time at all. However, when I can make the time for it, I can really appreciate some alone time. Walking my dog in the neighborhood or reading a book in a quiet place are perfect ways to distance myself from others and clear my head. Driving is another great way for me to clear my head; putting on good music on the way to school or work helps me relax. I do like to limit this alone time, though, just to prevent loneliness or FOMO that often takes over my mind.
The article also mentioned how spending time alone can help improve relationships. Based on my experience, I agree with this. I think being alone makes you more appreciative of the company of other people. Overall, I believe everyone could benefit from some time away from other people.
@K, Block 4
I relate to how you talk about how little time you have to yourself. I feel like my life in general really restricts the amount of time I have but being able to spend time alone definitely helps me bring my mood back up.
I find Dr. Nguyen’s study extremely interesting. I like how she touches on the pros and cons of having alone time, but most importantly how to do it correctly. The article states “If you’re just getting started, “take small steps,” Dr. Grice suggests. Time spent alone is a great opportunity to explore new interests, but it doesn’t mean you have to totally push yourself outside of your comfort zone. And if the thought of spending time alone is especially stressful or triggering, that could be an important sign that you may need professional support, Dr. Grice adds.” There is nothing wrong with alone time as long as it’s healthy, I love that this article gives tips on how to start for anyone who may be at a loss. There are so many great things about having personal time. Higgs writes “solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.” There is nothing like taking some time to yourself and then coming back to your friends feeling refreshed and calm.
@Ava Ornowski Yes! I love when I can have my alone time to take some time for myself, and then go back and hangout with my friends all refreshed!
I enjoy being alone, though I have too much alone time sometimes.
I spend the majority of my time outside school by myself. Marni Higgs's states that being alone benefits your life is something I agree to disagree with.
At one point in my life, I was so reliant on my friends making me happy rather than being content by myself, outside of them.
There were changes in my life that caused me to be alone, whether I wanted to be or not. The article says “It’s not that solitude is always good, but it can be good” the amount of time I spent alone became that “not always good. “ It went from being alone to being both alone and lonely. I had begun to lack the dopamine that you get from your friends and had too much time in my thoughts, making me spiral. Lately, I have begun to find that perfect balance of alone time and extrovertness. I also realized that I am the source of my happiness and it should only be me, which is something I see is lost in not only teenage relationships but relationships as a whole.
So yes, I do believe that I'm good at spending time alone.
I believe I have found the distinct difference between being alone and lonely alone is not bad in moderation. I also realized you need to accept yourself to enjoy the simplicity and silence of alone time.
I can definitely see why being alone is a double-edged sword. It can be both good and bad for me even at my worst, depending on how the day is going.
I love to do a bunch of things by myself. I spend plenty of time on my computer. My focus gets very intense into my hobbies.
I have friends who are okay with that. I mean… they’re still my friends, and I haven’t changed how much time I spend alone during the time I’ve been friends with them.
During worse moments, however, when I’m extremely lonely, I desperately need my friends. We have a Discord server I can message, and people are usually online over there. I haven’t always, though. And one time, they made a mistake that threw me off for longer, but it wasn’t their fault. It was just an accident.
It feels horrible to be the only one in the world sometimes, when you can’t escape it and it feels like it’s going to consume you.
Most of the time, it won’t consume me.
When it does, I need to do a better job of understanding who’s with me. Because there’s many.
When I’m alone, I’m me. I love not caring what other people think. To get away from the eyes. I care far too much what people care about me.
I wonder what it’d be like to just be truly alone. For twenty-four hours. Me and my computer.
… Yes, with my computer. I won’t get far without being able to work on hobbies, okay? At least give me a notebook, if I can’t have my computer.
I would say that I’m good at being alone. Even though I love to socialize and chat with lots of friends and other people, I tend to sometimes just wanna just sit In my room, play a story or campaign on a video game or play guitar and make up a song or something. Being alone to me is not something that is necessarily bad, but It’s something I don’t tend to do a whole lot, I’m just more of an Extrovert than a Introvert.
Being alone can be a time where I can really get my mind off of something and just sit back and relax and forget about it. I enjoy it because of that and I will continue to do that when I need to.
While I was reading this article it got me thinking that any alone time I have to myself, there are always distractions. When Im alone my phone is always going to be near me or I’ll have the tv on or music playing. There’s never a time where I am simply alone with my thoughts.
I am a very busy person with barely any free time. I think this makes me appreciate the relaxation of being alone more but after thinking about it, Im never truly alone with my thoughts. And what if the reason I make myself so busy, and pack my schedule back to back, and always hang out with friends is because I dont want to face my thoughts, I dont want to be faced with questions and thoughts I dont want to answer alone.
So I guess I enjoy the relaxation of being alone but in reality im never alone and thats something I really want to work on. Like it said in the artitle I could fit into the category of people who dont see a difference in being alone and loneliness because it wasnt my choice to be alone in the first place. If I dont choose to be by myself I feel like I’m not good enough for people to be around. This is a toxic trait but I think the more I choose to be alone and face my thoughts a new idea of being “alone” will adapt over time.
1
Sometimes I’m good at being alone, sometimes I’m not and that’s okay! A lot of the time I like being alone, drawing, reading, or writing. It is hard to get away from everyone though, I live in a small house with thin walls and a LOUD little brother. So I usually pop on my noise-canceling headphones and listen to music or a video essay. So I guess even when I’m alone, I’m not really by myself, I still have someone talking or singing to me, I just don’t respond! Could you call that being alone? I also like having a TV show in the background while I’m relaxing, sort of a white noise since I’m so used to being around others while trying to be alone. That probably isn’t a good habit though, my brain needs a break.
There was a time in my life where I would rather have an electric shock than be alone with my own thoughts like “ a quarter of the women and two-thirds of the men in a University of Virginia study”. This was before Covid happened when I spent little to no time alone, I was hanging out with people all day during school and then talking on the phone after school. Being at home almost my entire freshman year made me realize it’s okay to be alone, to not let everyone hear you talk on and on about nonsense. That’s where my writing really started, when I had no one else to talk to but my paper. For that I am grateful for my “aloneliness”.
The fear, and discomfort that some people inherit from spending time alone, is an emotion which I don't necessarily feel often. I believe that there are differences from being lonely, and spending time alone. I know that having time spent by myself is very important for my mental health. Although I love my friends, and spending time with them, my mind gets drained and I become exhausted. I have learned how this affects my behavior towards others negatively. I start to give off an attitude, or make others upset with me because my actions aren't up lifting. Through these years of COVID, I have learned the importance of time spent on your own. Taking a break from friends, or a night to focus on yourself is important, and as the article states, “can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations.”
Part 1 of 2
I have gone through phases of being alone. Recently I have hated being alone. I feel unproductive, gross, and lazy, but it's not always been like that. Last summer I couldn't handle being with people. Hanging out with friends made me feel even more lonely because I didn't understand how to be happy when I felt so sad.
The article states that “Choosing to spend time doing things by yourself can have mental, emotional and social benefits, but the key to reaping those positive rewards comes from choosing to spend time alone.” Last summer it's not that I couldn't hang out with people, but I felt guilty. Being with friends felt as though I was pulling them down with me. I didn't choose to be alone, I felt forced.
After my lonely summer passed, I have been scared to fall back into my old pattern. I try, though I’m not always successful, to be with people every weekend. I don’t think this is a poor choice however because I don’t believe in hanging out with people on school nights. The week is for my studies and extracurriculars. This type of alone time is probably burning me out more than my friends are.
@Nicole Beesley
Part 2 of 2
The article recommends that people spend time with themselves to reflect and recharge. In this day in age, everyone needs to. We are moving so fast, always working while balancing our social lives. People are scared to be alone because they have FOMO or are all in all scared to be alone. Being alone as Dr. Nguyen said can release stress, it's a time when we aren't forced to do anything or talk to anyone.
I think I'm good at being alone, while being surrounded by people. This may sound off and the exact opposite of what the “Golden Rule” states “Don’t Flake”. I get my alone time when I swim, it offers me a time to be alone with my thoughts, and pain, allowing me to think about past events and how I could’ve or should’ve reacted. It also helps me to think of ways I can change or helps me to throw around ideas in my head. But sometimes there is a downside to having upwards of 10-12 hours a week of mental “alone” time, you get in your head, you’ll become anxious thinking about the next bad thing that could happen, a detail you missed, or a secret you let slip. I find myself having to take a day off to swim every once in a while, not because my arms hurt or I don’t feel good, but because I know that if I swim I’ll get caught up on something I don’t want to.
@Maxim Mejouev, Block 2
Hey Maxim, as you know I used to be a full time swimmer and in that time I too would have to somedays just not come because of my mental thoughts and I would go home and I remember very correctly that I would forgot all about it.
@Maxim Mejouev, Block 2
I can relate to this on so many levels. I see how alone time can be good but its not that you don't want to but the fear o0f being caught up on something you done want to.
@Maxim Mejouev, Block 2 I also have some days where I need to take breaks from my sports practices, right now especially. I have two practices back to back everyday and somedays I just need a break to myself.
PART 1
This article was extremely insightful, and I really enjoyed reading it. I used to be someone who had to have my free time completely booked up with spending time with friends or family and considered myself someone that feeds off of others’ energy and had trouble spending time alone. The pandemic really changed that for me. Where I was once spending most of my time outside of my house and with lots of different people, covid forced me inside and to only be around my family. It was really hard for me at first, and felt like I had gone from full speed to full stop way too quickly. Because of the time I had during those few months completely locked away, I now SO appreciate my alone time. Slowing down to recognize that sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to be by yourself is so beneficial to one’s mental health, in my opinion.
@Sophie David, Block 1
PART 2
Now, I make sure to build in time alone and find that if I don’t, I end up anxious or in bad moods. Even just going for a 30 minute walk by myself helps me relax and rejuvenate. In the article, Dr. Nguyen suggests, “Take the opportunity to say, ‘This is the time where I can give something to myself,’ and just endorse that, in this moment, you are your first choice.” This is incredible advice. Just as you would give your time to a friend or family member or a stranger, you have to give back to yourself. Although it can be hard and intimidating to be alone at first, it can be life-changing to discover the benefits of it. The article also mentions how it can improve your creativity and confidence. I resonate with the fact that spending time alone allows you to think and your brain to develop more creative ideas, and that spending time alone gives you more self confidence because you learn to love yourself even more.
@Sophie David, Block 1 I found your comment incredibly insightful, and I agree with all of it. I need my alone time to regenerate and recharge my social battery. Your story of your experiencing diving head-first into alone time is really interesting. It's always hard to transition, but from your writing I can tell you have no regrets.
@Sophie David, Block 1
COVID I believe changed how a lot of people viewed their alone time. Some do love being alone, they like having time to themselves just to relax. While others now hate being alone. They feel as though they are being isolated again.
Many people as soon as they were told they didn't have to be locked in their house jumped at the opportunity to be as far away as they could from their bedroom.
There are as many people that hate being alone, as there who love to. Since they were alone for so long, their social battery dies faster they become over whelmed with people.
1/2 The article begins with “Being alone hurts,” and that's exactly how I feel. I am very bad at spending time alone and avoid it at all costs. It makes me feel so lonely rather than just alone. I’m hardly ever alone. Admittedly, I sleep with my mom so I’m not alone at night. I wake up and get ready with her then go to school and am with all my friends. After school, I either work or go home to do homework. While I am alone doing homework I either play youtube in the background or play music through my earbuds. I listen to music in my shower. Then my mom comes home from work at night and I am with her again. There is rarely a time when I am alone. When I am alone, I made sure there is no silence, no time for me to think. Being alone with myself makes me sad and I know it is something I need to conquer one day.
The article talks about experiencing burnout and how moments of solitude can teach you ways to destress and prevent burnout from happening. I feel so burnt out more than not, and I don't know ways to fix it because I refuse to spend time alone to reflect.
1
@ZZ, Block 4 2/2 What has definitely made me realize that I need to take a break from the noise is the book we began reading in class, “Fahrenheit 451,” by Ray Bradbury. Montag’s wife, Mildred, is portrayed as conforming to society like everyone else. Electronic obsession. She wears “Seashells” in her ears 24/7 playing music and stories so that it is never quiet. She is always using technology whether it be TV or her Seashells, which never gives her mind a break. A scene shows Montag coming home from work and she is sound asleep, still with them in. I realized shamefully I relate to this. I go to sleep with the TV on and I wake up with it on. I go through my school day with one earbud in listening to music at all times. I have earbuds in while I made waffle cones at the ice cream shop I work at.
This article and this story have really made me realize how scared I am at the thought of being alone. I really love this article because it brings awareness to this and shows the positive and the negative sides. It also provides steps to learn to spend time alone and explore new interests. With so much going on in life it is so hard to find time to take a break and feel a sense of peace, but I do want to work on more ways I can learn that it is okay to be alone.
1
I have always been an extrovert, and always tended to avoid alone time as much as possible. But as I get older, I have started to gain an appreciation for having some quality alone time. Some days I find it quite scary to be alone, others, I could use a few minutes to myself. If I were to spend time with myself, it’s either with my thoughts through meditation, or letting my mind wander as I read or go for a walk. Being alone is mostly just a mental break from the stress of the world…only for a few minutes at least.
I have always been scared of being alone, and find it quite hard to distinguish loneliness and solitude. But the few times I decide to help myself with meditation or whatever I choose, it totally recharges myself and my social battery. I love to be around people, but being able to put yourself first when you are typically a selfless person (like myself), it feels almost wrong but right at the same time. People deserve to have this time but are too focused on looking out for others so much so that they don’t take any time to ensure their happiness.
Seeking alone time is definitely not my first choice, but by far not my last. I may need to reconsider taking those few minutes for granted with exams coming up.
@EG, Block 4
I definitely agree with what you said about putting yourself first sometimes. It feels a bit wrong, but we are going to be better friends when we take time to recharge and be by ourselves.
@EG, Block 4
This is really interesting, because I'm the opposite. Over time I've become more of an extrovert and valued alone time less and less. However, it is definitely something I could benefit from in order to really relax, especially with the end of the school year and exams approaching. The article also mentioned how it can prevent burnout and limit stress levels, which is something we could all use right now.
I think I am quite good at spending time alone and will do it every once in a while. I can see all the positive benefits that being alone creates but I realize when I am alone I will normally go on my phone. As Ms. Roberts says, you should try to stay off your phone and away from social media. Sometimes when I am alone I will get bored, so trying new things or things I enjoy is what I should do more often. I personally enjoy spending time by myself. It is a time where I can get all my thoughts and relax. Especially after a hard day, it is nice to relax by myself. Although being by yourself is good for you it is important to socialize. There is a balance between these that will create the best of both worlds. It allows you to decompress and create your sense of self. On the other hand, socializing allows you to create a better social life and spend time with others.
I think this is great advice when Dr. Nguyen says, “Take the opportunity to say, ‘This is the time where I can give something to myself,’ and just endorse that, in this moment, you are your first choice.” You are the most important and need to take care of yourself before anyone else. I believe if you can't be by yourself it will be hard to be with others. Being alone allows you to reflect and see who you really are which will allow you to see you should be with when around others. After reading about all the benefits I am going to try to spend more time alone and try new skills or do things I enjoy.
@Jack, Block 1
I agree with everything you said. I also enjoy my time alone because it allows me to relax, but I like how you brought up the point that there is a balance and how it's important to socialize as well. I find myself on my phone more when I'm alone so I need to work on that too.
@Jack, Block 1 Words cannot describe how much I can relate to that. You have to be able to care for yourself first before even thinking about caring for others. You must be able to be with yourself and love yourself to have a better approach and outlook on life.
Part 1:
I have always enjoyed spending time by myself and I love how this article looked at the positives of doing so because I know some people think that I have no social life due to the fact that I like my alone time. It’s interesting that there are psychological benefits and by spending time alone, which is the opposite, can actually add to your social life. Everything the article mentions about how alone time is positive such as there is no pressure to talk to anyone, do anything, or feel obligated to make plans and how it can raise your confidence makes sense and I can relate to it.
For me, spending time alone allows me to think about things whether it be a situation at school or golf or just to let my mind wander and relax which gives me time to reset my thoughts and have a clear mindset for the next day. I also feel like I have gained confidence knowing I can be independant and make decisions on my own without having to rely on others actions and behaviors.
This article reminds me of the short story we read in English class called “The Pedestrian” by Ray Bradburry, in which we discussed the difference between being alone and being lonely. The main character walks alone in nature while everyone else stays inside surrounded by people, but are numbed by the artificial lifestyle and stimulation. The article supports this theme of the story and could help explain why the main character is much happier than the people around him even though he is alone.
@Grace C, Block 2
Part 2:
Dr. Grice said, “Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are” which rings true for the main character and for myself.
@Grace C, Block 2 Yes, I completely agree! I love how you related this article to the Pedestrian and what can be interpreted from it. Being alone and being lonely are two very different things; you can be lonely without being alone and you can be alone without being lonely. Learning to find comfort and joys solely in yourself is an amazing thing.
@Grace C, Block 2 I completely agree with you. There is nothing wrong with some alone time. I also tend to let my mind wander when I'm alone. I love how you connected your response to "The Pedestrian" and what we learned about it.
Personally, I think I am pretty good at being alone. There’s honestly so many things that come to mind that I can do by myself and just let my mind float and enjoy its solitude. Something that I used to do so much when I was younger, was to put on some headphones and just go outside onto my trampoline. It didn’t matter what I was doing, just jumping, flipping, or even just laying down on the shady part of the trampoline. I could just unwind and just have an enjoyable time doing whatever.
Going back to what Emily Roberts said, “In a culture where we often confuse being alone for loneliness”, I strongly believe that there is a massive difference between the two. While being alone can be lonely, it doesn't mean that all the time. Being alone can be so useful and therapeutic. A time where you don’t have to worry about what others think and you can just relax or self-reflect. Of course, like anything else, there is a balance because too much of anything could kill you. Whether it be mentally or physically, always look out for yourself.
@Mozzarella Sticks
I love your statement about how too much of anything can kill you. I agree everything should be in moderation, especially with personal time. Whether it's going out too much or being alone more than needed. Both can be detrimental to your health.
1
The author distinguishes between loneliness and solitude. Does the fear of loneliness ever get in the way of having meaningful experiences of solitude? What other factors get in the way of your finding quality alone time?
The fear of loneliness never crosses my mind or gets in the way because I don´t usually think of topics like that while relaxing or out. Factors like being mad or anxious can ruin my alone quality time. Being mad or anxious leaves something on your mind so you can´t fully clear your mind off things that bother you.
@Mariah Loneliness definitely gets in the way of having solitude within myself. When I am alone I always see it as that I feel lonely, rather than looking at it as a time to think and focus on myself. I love that question that you brought up. I also feel like loneliness crosses my mind a lot and sadness affects me quality time I try to spend alone.
How good are you at spending time alone? Do you enjoy spending time by yourself? Or do you find it hard to be alone — becoming bored or lonely?
I am pretty goddd at spending time alone. It gives me time to sit and reflect peacefully about myself and my life. I enjoy spending time by myself but it also depends on the situation sometimes.
How often do you spend time alone? What do you generally do with this time?
I usually spend time alone on the weekends. I love binge watching Netflix shows with snacks when I am alone. It's more peaceful when you're by yourself because you are more concentrated on the show and not bothered.
i think i'm good at spending time alone because most of the time when i'm alone i mainly get some things done like homework and stuff like that. i do enjoy spending time with myself but sometimes i would want someone with me because i like having company at points to though.
I also think I’m pretty good at spending time alone, it allows me to have a longer attention span and focus more on the things that need to get done such as homework or chores.
Although I’m good at spending time alone I do also love to be around people such as my friends or family. I like to have company and have fun with other people.
The fear of loneliness gets in the way of me having solitude because I always fear that if I’m alone others don’t need me a lot of the time my phone can keep me from having complete solitude due to my friends texting and usually planning something to do and the fear of being left out
@Travis I understand how being alone with really just your thoughts can cause fear. As you said you might miss something or won't be a part of it but spending time alone has lots of benefits. As it mentions in the article, you should take small steps to make you feel less lonely and can make your time with your friends even better.
I feel like it does resonate with my own experiences because I feel like I am more social when I have spent time by myself. I also get more ideas for crafts that I can do. Some other benefits I have experienced from time spent alone are wanting to go more places, wanting to get stuff done, and feeling happier/less stressed.
Spending time alone can put me in a good mood or in a better mood than before. Spending time alone gives me the opportunity to take time and think and relieve all stress. I often stay in my room and take time to think about things and that will help me move through my day and talk to people better.
I spend a lot of time alone after school and on weekends. I usually read or go on social media when I’m alone. I like cleaning my room and listening to music as well and if I’m up for it, watch television.
It depends, if I already spent some time with a person for like 4 to 5 hours, then I’d probably want to be alone the rest of the day. So I would say I like spending time alone but not for the whole day or else I’ll become bored and lonely. This results in being on my phone the entire day, and I don't like doing that because it's bad for your eyes/health.
Seeing as I’m an introvert, I get all of my energy from being alone. Spending time alone clears my head. I think better when I’m by myself.
I personally love to be alone and have my “alone time.” I find it extremely relaxing and peaceful. I can see why some people might not like alone time as when I have too much alone time I can get extremely bored. I still love being alone even though I can get bored after a while.
I often spend my time alone scrolling through my phone, watching tv, listening to music, or sleeping. I also enjoy reading while alone and tend to get consumed in it. To fill up time or to not get bored I organize things around me and find it peaceful to look at when done.
I think that I am pretty good at being alone and I don’t find it hard, but I do prefer being with someone. I think that I will seek both because it is good for you to be out with people or with someone but it is also good to have some alone time because I think that we all need that.
I think for many people the fear of loneliness gets in the way of having meaningful experiences of solitude. We have this general idea that being alone is the worst thing that could happen and you are missing out on things that could be happening. I think another factor that gets in the way of having alone time is not being able to find time to be alone. For many people, they have a sibling or parent that is constantly in their company, so finding time to be in solitude is not an easy task.
I think that statement is true because being alone in your own mind helps you become more comfortable with yourself and I think that helps in any social interaction. I have also benefited with knowing that I do not have to go out every night to be happy.
Everyone is afraid of being alone. It doesn’t matter if you are an introvert (get your energy from being alone) or an extrovert (get energy from being around others) people are afraid of loneliness. We all crave acceptance and when we are alone sometimes we wonder if that means people don’t like us. The things that get in the way of our alone time are normally school, work, clubs, and people. The best thing we can learn for ourselves is how to say no and take time for ourselves.
I think I am good at spending time alone because I can keep myself entertained while I’m alone. I do enjoy spending time by myself, though not as much as with other people but every once in a while I’ll just want to be alone. I don’t find it hard to be alone, as I don’t get bored because when I’m alone I’m usually watching TV and I don’t get lonely unless I’ve been alone for several hours.
I am very good at spending time alone because I think it is necessary for me to feel like myself. Sometimes I am surrounded by too many people. And it's really nice to be alone too.
Being alone has let me review the social interactions I’ve had. It makes me more in tune with my emotions. I’ve also had plenty of time to get creative with being alone. Drawing, reading, and daydreaming. Being alone has also given me the time to deal with my pent-up stress and not take it out on anyone.
I enjoy spending time alone, I enjoy having time for myself to decompress when I can not having to worry about anything or just getting simple tasks done on my own is relaxing for me, and I just love being independent and not relying on others.
I personally will not seek more alone time after reading this article simply because I do not see any issues with the way my time is spent now. I go to school to learn, I go to work to earn money, and I see friends and my girlfriend to enjoy my extra time more than I would if I were alone.
I try to have alone time whenever I get the chance. I make an effort to find time for myself on certain occasions. They are always random. Ex. If I get off work at 6:30 pm and have nothing to do, then I might watch a movie by myself or paint downstairs away from my family.
I spend a lot of time alone, more specifically everyday. After school or getting back from going anywhere the first thing I do is go into my room and be alone. I usually listen to music, read, watch videos, and sometimes just space out. It helps me a lot. If I’ve been alone for however long I need to be, I will be better. Better mood and I won’t have a problem talking to people and I’ll be able to talk to them without an attitude. My experience being alone gives me the benefit that I don’t need people to be talking to me every second of the day. I like being alone and by myself.
I like spending time alone. I am always alone when I am reading in my room and I enjoy it a lot. Sometimes I watch videos on YouTube alone and I do my homework alone.
I spend a good majority of my time alone playing video games and contemplating life it is not hard to be alone and I don’t get bored or lonely when I am alone.
I tend to spend a lot of time by myself.
It's easier than talking to people for me and my creative juices flow best when nobody's around to distract me.
I’m very good at being by myself. I do enjoy spending time by myself. I don’t find it hard to be by myself.
Sometimes I like being by myself but sometimes I would like to be with a group of people. It's not that I hate being alone I just want to spend time with other people as well.
I spend a lot of my free time alone. I enjoy spending time scrolling on tiktok or watching youtube. When I'm alone it's quiet and I can’t be bothered.
when im alone I use that time to get caught up in school.
Aaron
I'm okay with spending time alone and always spend time with my dogs.
Well I certainly have spent a lot of time alone and I am very confident when I’m with my friends or other people in my age group or just having one on ones with other people in general. I also have lots of fun when I spend time alone so that’s great.
It does. I always find myself getting fresh ideas when I’m alone. Or, I am coming to realization about friendships or things I have experienced that benefit me in the future.
When I am alone, sometimes I realize something I hadn’t realized before. I think quite a bit and it gets the mind moving. I do also believe that spending time alone helps my creativity grow.
When I am alone, sometimes I realize something I hadn’t realized before. I think quite a bit and it gets the mind moving. I do also believe that spending time alone helps my creativity grow.
I like spending time alone. I think I am good at it because I do the things I like to do when I’m alone. Sometimes too much alone time will make me bored, but usually it calms me.
Aaron ill
For me, the fear of loneliness doesn't get in my way of having meaningful experiences of solitude. My dogs distract me from spending time alone.
I spend time alone everyday. I set aside time for homework, art, the piano, and reading.
I think the fear of loneliness does get in the way of solitude. This would tie in with loneliness but fear of missing out. I know from experience missing out is another huge factor in alone time because you never know what is going on outside of your alone time and it could be something you would enjoy.
Yes I think I would spend more time alone because it does benefit my social relationships and makes me have an open mind and improves my creativity,
I feel like since spending more alone time I can really cherish my social time with others better.
I think that being alone helps improve your creativity. When you're alone you can think about so many creative things.
Well ever good to be alone
In order to be open to creativity, one must have the capacity for constructive use of solitude. One must overcome the fear of being alone. My creativity functions much better when I don't have to speak to people.
In my teen years, alone time has become essential to my emotional wellbeing. Under normal circumstances, my life is one never ending social circus, juggling extra circulars as well as family and friends. As much as I like spending time with those I love it gets to be too much and it's overwhelming. My much needed alone time is spent on ways I recharge my social battery, things such as listening to music, writing poetry, or making my own music. If there's one positive from coronavirus in my life, its that I've got to enjoy the quiet and more simpler things in life. I think the whole country has also gained an appreciation for these things, seeing as we've been forced to find creative ways to spend time inside with this pandemic.
@Grayson
Wow we have a lot of the same interests! I also need to recharge my social battery a lot, I sometimes do this by sleeping though. Kind of just plugging into my subconscious to charge my social battery.
House arrest. That’s what my sister and I are under, right now. It’s all for good reason though. It’s 2020, the Coronavirus has reached the United States and threatens the health of people, mostly older citizens. We have two weeks off from school, but it’s not that exciting unless you have something to do. All my after school activities are canceled. So that means a lot of free time
Usually I would love to have some “alone-time.” But too much of it is boring. The article states “Time spent alone is a great opportunity to explore new interests, but it doesn’t mean you have to totally push yourself outside of your comfort zone.” If I push myself to pick up on my old hobbies instead of just staring at my phone all day, I can learn something.
For me, I need the right amount socialization and solitude. It’s important to find this balance for everyone. People need to find some time to relax and focus on refueling for the next day. Being around people all the time could be exhausting, it is for me. I’m not an extreme introvert, but neither am I an extrovert. From my two years in high-school, I’m trying to find that balance. It’s not easy, most of the time I’m stuck in piles of work. In the end, choosing to be alone is different than being lonely.
House arrest. That’s what my sister and I are under, right now. It’s all for good reason though. It’s 2020, the Coronavirus has reached the United States and threatens the health of people, mostly older citizens. We have two weeks off from school, but it’s not that exciting unless you have something to do. All my after school activities are canceled. So that means a lot of free time
Usually I would love to have some “alone-time.” But too much of it is boring. The article states “Time spent alone is a great opportunity to explore new interests, but it doesn’t mean you have to totally push yourself outside of your comfort zone.” If I push myself to pick up on my old hobbies instead of just staring at my phone all day, I can learn something.
For me, I need the right amount
I love to be in touch with myself more than anything and being alone allows me to do that. I definitely agree with what Dr. Nguyen said that ``its not solitude is always good, but can be good.¨ As it can be difficult for some, personally it's perfect. When I'm alone I can focus on myself 100%, just relax and don't have a feeling of having to converse, but that's just me. I´m not saying being alone all the time is good but finding a happy balance between solitude and socializing is great. I wouldn't want to be lonely, I believe loneliness is different than choosing to be alone.
I spend a lot of my time by myself after school, and that can definitely be a good thing but also become a bad thing with enough of it. I enjoy that time but I can end up feeling lonely and bored depending on how I spend that time. I don't feel old enough or I'm not old enough to do everything by myself and I'm not used to going out alone to spend my time somewhere away from home. The solitude I experience, in my opinion is not a bad thing, it gives me time to be more creative and truly think about and do what I enjoy most, but when I do get lonely, it is nice to have someone there to talk to. I do not think the article is wrong in stating that spending time alone has benefits, but I see why extroverted people may not come to the idea of being alone easily. I can say I am definitely an introvert, but that is okay, and that is just what I need to enjoy my life with myself. This is the time that I can give something to myself. I try to focus on other people more when I'm in public, but it's important to think about yourself too. This article does help me know that I'm not in the wrong to spend time alone like I do, and it will definitely make me enjoy that time to myself even more than I do. If you have a hard time with loneliness, keep in mind that it won't last forever and it can be something to help you grow and learn about yourself.
How Good Are You at Spending Time Alone?
https://www.nytimes.com/2019/10/31/learning/how-good-are-you-at-spending-time-alone.html
Draining. Dead. That is my social energy level. One second, I can enjoy my friends’ company and the event. However, I will soon realize the enormous energy power I’ve diminished to sustain this social interaction. Micaela Higgs informs her audience of overwhelmed teens that being alone is a “choice” that is beneficial for even the most social individuals. This independant time of growth is very influential in my own life. Although I am not being very social in that time, I do benefit “socially”, like Higgs writes, when I take alone time. My best friend and I are constantly around each other. While it’s very influential on my happiness, we can both go through our bickering fights. I would rather go home and think about why I like her than let my current beliefs get in the way about how much I care that she’s in my life. Taking time away from social interaction can promote my social well-being in the long run, because it gives be time to reflect on the good times and influential zest my best friend brings into my life. The choice to relax and reflect have prevented retaliation and have encouraged sisterly-bonding. Therefore, I choose to take time for myself.
I love being alone. It makes me feel good. I don’t have to worry about what other people think about me because it’s just me. See, the thing is I like being by myself than with others. I will say I have something to do even if I don’t just to not hang out with people. It’s not that I don’t want to hang out with YOU, it’s that I want to hang out with ME. They say that teens feel more self-confident when they are by themselves, and I can totally agree with that. The reason why I don’t hang out with people is because I’m afraid of what they think about me, and when I’m by myself I am a lot more confident in myself. When I’m with other people, I feel like I have to hide some part of me, but when I’m with myself I can be whoever I want to be.
@Anna I agree with the whole comment. I believe spending time alone makes me more confident for the when I do socialize. When Im alone I can think and focus on many different aspects of things, typically in social settings. Spending time alone really relaxes my mind and focus on whats important. I also agree with the feeling of having to hide a part of yourself somewhat, not hide but subconsciously pull away.
I hate spending time alone I get bored very easily and must find something to do quick. I always have to et up in move or play games to engage in to my entertainment. I usually spend time alone on school weeks and it results in me either doing my homework, playing video games, or just doing stuff on my phone.
“Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are,” Dr. Grice said. Being a person that doesn't like being alone and now that my season is over i can try this method and see if it will help me know who I am better. Personally I have a good creativity and more than enough confidence to when I barley spend time by myself. I feel If you hangout with more people you can learn from others people experience and gain creativity through them.
Spending alone time can prove beneficial in many ways, but some people think that being alone is harmful. Being alone and lonely are two different things, one with negative consequences. Personally, I love spending time alone in my room. I enjoy listening to music, singing, dancing about, and making bracelets. On a lazy day, I tend to spend two hours or more a day to myself, while on busy days I tend to only take short breaks. While I am not lonely, I enjoy the alone time as it gives me the chance to just relax and not worry for a short amount of time. According to studies, “Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are,” Dr. Grice said. Knowing oneself makes it easier to find other people who share your passions, and can improve your empathy” (Engle, 2019). I believe that spending time alone can help people find their real interests and find out what they want in life. By being alone for even a short amount of time, you are able to rewire your brain and even realize the toxic relationships you may be in. Getting out and exploring the world is good, but getting in and exploring your head just might be better.
If I ever get a chance to be alone, I take it. I’m constantly around people due to school, work, and/or family events. Because of this, I do not get the chance to spend much time alone, so if I get a chance to be alone I take it. Spending time by myself makes me happy. Sometimes I just need a break from everyone and everything going on in life. I do enjoy spending time alone very much. I feel happier when I get time alone. I feel less stressed or less pressured to do things. Spending time alone “can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations”(Engle, 2019, para. 1). I’d like to have more time to spend alone, but it is hard because of the activities I have going on outside of school. I’d say that I get like one day a week to myself. With this time I like to listen to some music and lay down to take a break from everything. Spending time alone is important to me because it helps me clear my mind and become more relaxed.
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I spend time alone at least one day each weekend. Whether it be on a Saturday or Sunday, I use that time to prepare for the next week. I will clean my room, do my laundry or just relax and catch up on the T.V shows I am watching. The article states, “solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others” (Engle, 2019, 4). Being alone helps people to relax and focus on themselves so that when they speak to others, it will be in a positive manner. I feel that after a long week, some me time is just what I need. Being alone is beneficial because I am able to do what I want to do with the time. When I feel stressed out, it is refreshing to be able to spend time alone to regroup before speaking to others. Spending time alone is crucial so that I can start the week feeling relaxed.
Throughout my own experiences, I do find that being alone can benefit your social relationships and improve your creativity and confidence. I have noticed that for example, when I drive alone, shop alone, or even just spend time alone in my room I find myself happier and more relaxed. There is “no pressure to do anything, no pressure to talk to anyone, [and] no obligation to make plans with people” (Engle, 2019). It gives me an opportunity to be myself and to do the things I like to do without the judgement of others. It also gives me time to self-reflect and explore new opportunities. My time spent alone allows me to find out more about myself and who I am. This will eventually lead to stronger relationships with others as well. This article has brought all these aspects to my attention, and has made me aware of the positive effects of being alone. After gaining more knowledge of the positive effects, I will be devoting more time to doing things I enjoy alone. This is an inexpensive, easy, and simple way of improving mental health and overall happiness.
Having a time where you can relax and destress is very important. Having alone time has greatly impacted my social relationships. Thuy-by Nguyen, an assistant professor in the psychology department at Durham University, shed some light on the subject. She says, “Solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others” (Engle, 2019). This has been my experience with solitude as well. Whenever I feel overly stressed by a situation, I take at least an hour to myself to sort out my thoughts and calm myself. This has helped a number of times to not make situations worse for myself. Although I do love my alone time, I do have a fear of missing out on events. Sometimes I need to take a Friday night to myself after a long week, but this means sitting out on all of the fun plans my friends have. I usually feel bad about missing out, but I always know that taking the time to think about the week is beneficial to me. Alone time has had a great impact on my life, and I plan to continue to spend time by myself.
I tend to spend a lot of time by myself. I am a very introverted person, so I gain energy and rejuvenate by having alone time. I make sure I have at least a half hour a day when I know nobody will bother me. It is very important to be occupied while you are having alone time. “If you’re having an especially hard time listening to the thoughts inside your head, journaling can be a great way of working through and evaluating those emotions.”(Engle, 2019) This is very true, I often use this as a way to put down my thoughts and feeling that I have had throughout the week. I also use this time to find new music because I have found that it helps me enjoy my time more. Listening to a song that relates to your life is also good because it helps you know that there are other people reflecting on the same things in another creative way.
I often don’t get a chance to spend very much time alone. I don’t get this time alone since I have work, bowling, and school. When I am alone I spend my time watching movies which helps me relax after a stressful day of school, work, and bowling. There have been “people who value solitude and who tend not to ignore their own desires in the pursuit of pleasing others will find time alone more enjoyable”(Engle, 2019). This quote is explaining how those who like being alone have a better experience when they are able to spend the time alone that they need. This is able to help support my claim because I don’t always enjoy being around people so when I get the chance to just relax by myself I am able to be happier then if I was still around a larger group of people. Also being alone helps me not think about anything which also helps me relax when I need it the most.
I do not like spending a lot of time alone. I am extremely extroverted and I tend to find myself happier when I am around other people. Most of the time, my "alone time" is on weeknights after volleyball practice. After I eat dinner I go up to my room and clean my room and shower and get ready for sleep, that really the only alone time that I personally need. I do think that introverts and extroverts are very alike in their likenesses. While introverts receive their joy from being alone, extroverts receive their joy from being with others. It really interests me how in the article Emily Roberts says that choosing to have alone time has many mental, social, and emotional benefits. I think that that is interesting and I may try and give myself more alone time and see if it benefits me more. I do agree that being alone is very different from being lonely, but it just brings me more joy to be with others.
Being alone is very different from being lonely. Loneliness usually means you’re feeling isolated from the rest of the world, even in the company of other people. I spend almost every waking moment outside of school by myself and I personally have never had any problems with feelings of boredom or loneliness. Usually, I’ll spend this time writing and organizing my thoughts, which is really refreshing after long hours of school each day. Alone time is essential in my daily life because I often find myself exhausted after being around people for a long time to the point where I can’t even function.
I definitely agree with the article when it states alone time boosts creativity and confidence. I feel that you wouldn’t know your true self if you spent every minute of every day around other people. From personal experience, too much time around others caused me to feel the loneliest I’ve ever felt. Taking time away from others has really helped me with individuality and finding confidence within myself instead of through other people. As for social interactions, I believe as long as you’re spending the right amount of time to yourself, that aspect will become easier as well. Everyone deserves time alone to recharge and find comfort within themselves.
@Eliana D I don’t really know how alone time could “boost confidence”. If you’re alone and recharging what would make you feel confident. If confidence is self assurance around others and there is no one with you why would you start being more confident?
Although I enjoy hanging out with my friends, I tend to feel more free when I am by myself. I love getting home after school and having a couple hours to myself to re-evaluate school and my choices, to calm down after a long day, and to start my homework without distractions. When I spend time alone, it tends to make me happier and more energetic the next day, which benefit my school day and help my relationships with my peers. The difference between spending time alone and being lonely is astounding. When it is your choice to stay alone, that is not loneliness, but when you feel a need to have interactions with other people, but can't, then you would feel lonely. For me, loneliness hard and boring, but choosing to have alone time is refreshing.
I strongly agree that it’s important to learn how to spend time alone just as a general life skill. I spend quite a bit of my time alone, so I don’t experience a fear of loneliness that compels me to seek the company of others that I don’t enjoy. Being alone provides a comfortable space away from manners and societal expectations, which helps one decompress but in my experience also severely hampers my productivity so I’m interested to try Dr. Nguyen’s advice. Spending time alone does improve my relationships because I don’t feel as fatigued from constantly being in social situations, so I look forward to being with other people.
I’m pretty good at knowing when I need to have alone time, however I feel as if I am happier when I have others around. I don’t spend a lot of time by myself, but I feel like it is a healthy amount for me. I’m constantly busy, but when I have those small chunks of time where I have nothing to do, I’ll take a moment for myself. I find it hard sometimes to get that free time because I’m constantly at school, tutoring, work, or with friends. My tutoring place is super good at knowing when I need a moment to myself, so they let me go on a little walk either alone or with a tutor. I have started to appreciate the quiet moments in life more, as my life is getting busier and busier. I do fear that if I spend too much time alone that I’ll start to isolate myself, but I don’t see that as a problem now.
I think, as a teen, that having some alone time is healthy but too much can cause us to become disconnected with the outside world and might have us develop poor social skills. Spending time alone can help people focus on work that they might have procrastinated on and they can have time to relax and de stress. I think I spend the same amount of time alone as everyone else on normal weekdays, in my room either on my phone trying to just pass the time or working on the never ending stream of homework. On the weekends, I admit, I spend quite a lot of time by myself, I think it’s comforting. Its comforting only if i know that i can easily have access to someone else if a problem may arise, so I don’t like to be left alone for super long periods of time. Being alone helps me clear my mind of worries and anything else that may be plaguing my conscious/subconscious and lets me just live in the moment worry free. Being bored is not a problem in this current age, with immediate access to the internet and other forms to keep yourself occupied. Being lonely, however, is a very real factor in today’s society that more and more people are claiming to experience. Because we can access people on our phones we have less of an obligation to go out and actually interact with people or form relationships with strangers, which causes people to feel lonely. I believe everyone feels lonely at times, but others are just better at dealing with how they feel and how to combat this feeling.
@Sarah
I think that being alone can be comforting as well and it can also put my mind at ease. Although, on the weekends I love to hang out with friends. While sometimes being alone on weekends is nice once in a while, I really love hanging out with friends on the weekends and makes feel as if I truly am living my best life.
I feel like when I spend time by myself I tend to get lonely and bored. I love to be out and be social, often when it is just me and my family at home I get restless and want to go out and do something. I always love just waking up and having my day perfectly planned out. Sometimes I do get tired but if I want more sleep I just plan my activities for later in the day, this makes it so I can sleep but still get to do something outside of my house often making me feel better.
I'm good at spending time alone, I do it quite a bit, but most times I need to turn on YouTube videos of people just ranting or talking so I don't feel like I'm by myself. If the whole house is totally quiet, it seems kind of scary and it doesn't feel right. I do enjoy spending time by myself and I want to keep it that way sometimes, but other times I just want somebody to talk to. In quality alone time, it's a little hard to have your own time when school, homework, chores, and responsibilities in general are holding you down. In my time alone, I unwind and find myself happier. I sometimes text people in my alone time, but that's so I can let people know what I'm dealing with and it helps me feel like I'm not alone and I'm not all alone in my problems, and people deal with the same stuff too.
I love time to myself but not for elongated periods of time. I'm like a cat. Don't leave me alone? I'll hurt you. Leave me alone for too long? I'll hurt you.
@Isabel Ferguson personally I hate being alone. I get bored very quickly and must find a way to hang out with someone. Whenever I am alone by myself i tend to just get on my phone or my ps4. Anything possible to entertain myself. The reason I play 2 sports is to keep me entertain throughout the entire day whether that be practice or weight training.
I enjoy being by myself and going out with people. It depends on my current mood at the time. I do enjoy being able to escape reality for a moment and enjoy some alone time by reading, watching movies, or playing video games. But sometimes it feels good to go out and get some fresh air for once and do stuff with friends. But not for to long as I get bored easily and usually zone out or if I was at home all by myself I can get lonely and wish I was outside. For me it’s all about moderation and keeping a balance of enjoying some alone time and going out to do stuff.
I enjoy spending time by myself. I enjoy being able to take a breather from the world and have some time just for me. When I am alone I usually do what Dr. Coplan suggests; I make sure I am off my phone away from the judgemental world of social media and I take time to play my guitar, be with my dogs, or even attempt to cook for myself. It is important to be able to stop and breathe with no one interrupting you.
Although I agree with Emily Roberts a psychotherapist who states that it is good to have time alone to reflect and handle your emotions, I believe that it is also important to go out with friends and talk to people in order to get out of your own head for a bit.
For example, one weekend I went on a two hour road trip for the day with my mom; I quietly focused and drove the whole way there, but I was unable to drive the two hours back. I was in my own head for a whole two hours, and after an hour and a half of only hearing my own thoughts I felt as though I was going crazy. I love spending time just for myself and treating myself, but I also think it is important that I don’t spend too much time with myself. Something I have struggled with is trying to balance time for myself, and time for friends. I believe it is very important to have both in order to have a healthy mind.
I am all right at spending time alone, I am usually home alone after school every day. I can get bored of being alone, if it is for a really long time but I like some time just for myself. I just really like to just get in my own head and think about everything by myself because that is just nice and calming to me. If I am alone for hours and hours, then that's when I start to annoy myself. Which is not a good thing for me because I start to get scared of random things and I am home alone so that is even more scary.
I am ok at spending time alone. I am able to entertain myself and have fun. I achieve this typically through the playing of video games and watching internet videos. I find that the internet is able to entertain me past the capacity of other people. The internet has allowed people the ability to remain alone for larger amounts of time: I can talk to friends over the phone, play games with them, and watch youtube videos all from the comfort of my home. However, I feel that being alone has its ups and downs as does being with other people. I do get bored of being alone after a while and friends can bring annoyance to your life. In conclusion, being alone is ok and not being alone is ok too. I am Brent.
I am great at spending time and I do love it from time to time. However, what I have learned is you can spend time alone without feeling lonely, there is a balance that you have to find. For me, I am an extrovert and I thrive off of interactions with people and spending time with people however that does not mean I don’t like alone time. I enjoy being alone in my house, I could be alone in my house for ages, however, I do not like being alone out in the world I would rather be with someone. Even for extroverts it is still important to spend time alone and let yourself be independent sometimes. Typically when I spend time alone I watch tv or cook or something like that and both can be very relaxing and a nice breather from the typical hanging out with friends all the time. I usually look forward to this time where I can just be with just myself and relax.
I would say that I am pretty good at spending time by myself. For me, it allows me to really analyze how I'm feeling. It's almost like a time of reflection. It helps me develop further what my feelings are on a multitude of situations. It clears my mind.
I am great at spending time alone, it is one of my favorite things to do. While I love spending time with my friends, girlfriend, and my family, I need a certain amount of alone time in order to not be grumpy and to unwind and relax. I will usually go into our "Xbox room", close the door and watch Netflix and be on my phone and not worry about school or homework or what anyone else is doing in this time.
For me, the most peaceful time of my day, is after I get home from school, or practice and can lay in my room in total serenity. For me, I enjoy spending time with other people, but I always feel the most relaxed by myself. Having this time allows me to just relax and decompress if I have mad a stressful day at school. Doing this never gives off the feeling of loneliness, it is more solitude, peaceful reflection, where I don’t have to worry about pleasing anyone or holding up to anyone’s expectations but my own.
I personally like spending time alone. It can be as simple as taking a nap on a day off or just reading a book. Being alone gives you a chance to be self-aware about yourself, and gives you time to prepare for your next social meeting. I personally, like staying home where nothing is there to judge me. I can have the comfort of being in my own home, where I can have complete relaxation. Some days, where I don't have the best day at school, I cannot wait to get home because my home is my safe haven where nothing can touch me. However, there is too much time alone, you need to be with people in order to function properly in this world. There is always moderation in everything. There is moderation of time that you spend with your friends and Vise Versa with spending time alone. The thing that we can do is that we find our balance of what is normal for us. Some people may be more open to hanging out with our friends, and some people need to reflect more on what we do in social circumstances.
I wonder if time alone is freedom or confinement; every moment spent on a couch ten feet from the door prevents a collision of paths outside it. But what if each moment on the couch develops a greater understanding of oneself and enhances self-awareness, opening doors to the best version of oneself? I believe when we dwindle away time, the pause button of life is subconsciously activated by the switch of the TV remote or the click of a never- ending stream of YouTube videos. Throwing away a minute of one’s life provides a quick sense of relief, but that sense of relief is often followed by the feeling of having no direction or purpose. Directionless. This is a branch that has caught my ankle, dragging me toward the ground to be swallowed by quicksand. And when directionless clouds the image I have of myself, doubt follows, leaving me tangled in uncertainty. I have found that once I hesitate to trust my ideas and desires, my ambition diminishes. This does not mean I cannot handle the silence of an empty room, it means I must create alone time, deliberately and with a purpose. The outcome of isolation is entirely dependent on the way we enter it. Self-exploration leads to a greater idea of one’s individuality. Take a dip in the thoughts you may not ponder in public, or dance freely alone in your kitchen. Dig deep and find the version of yourself you want to be, and take the time to show yourself that you are unique, smart, and a force to be reckoned with.
I think everyone needs time alone to reflect and heal. It’s not possible to be able to spend every waking hour being social and surrounded by people, you’ll burn out. While immersing yourself in the crowds and party-life, you might find that it is actually a very lonely thing. Who am I? What do I want? It’s all been lost in the concept of fitting in, the overreach of ideas and opinions of others, the need to conform to society.
Dr. Grice advises the positive effects of time along: filtering the real from the unreal, the friends from the strangers, finding the truth about yourself and your interests. How would you be able to not adapt some thoughts and interests as your own if you are surrounded by them? Through time and because of the harrowing fear of being lonely, feeling solitary, the true self has been lost somewhere under the mask of society.
I really appreciate alone time. Time that I can spend doing what I want, time I can spend on my own terms and my own rules.
This time lets me realize what I really want and gave me the courage to come to terms with my thoughts and ideas. It allowed me to realize that maybe guitar wasn’t my thing, no matter how hard I tried to learn because it was “cool” when I saw others do it. It allowed me to think about my future and how I really didn’t like the atmosphere that my competitive swim team began to have after a series of changes in management ideas and how it wasn’t something I would consider putting my future on.
I personally see myself as an introvert, but I still fear loneliness. Being at school forces me to interact with others in my community. It’s a way to find friends, or, at the very least, get to know the people around me along with their perspectives of the world. For me, friends are very few and far between, so I cherish any time I get to spend with them tremendously.
When it comes to finding solitude, I tend to achieve it mostly at night. Nighttime is when I get to authentically be me, since I’m not actively engaging with anyone else in my household. I don’t get much privacy at home, so I try to enjoy it during this time. Sometimes I’ll take out my acrylic paint and mindlessly fill a canvas, or write pages upon pages of words in my journal. Other times, I’ll simply turn on my favorite playlist and let the music lead my thoughts. These activities help me to process my emotions through art. Even if I’m not particularly skilled at these things, I still take pleasure in doing them for myself. While the world goes on outside of my window, I create my own little bubble of my ideas. It’s a perfect time of reflection concerning myself as well as the people I have around me daily
I am not someone that spends much time alone. My schedule is very busy between school, dance practice, and dance team activities. When I finally have some time off I like to spend as much of it with friends as possible. However, I do always make time for myself to be alone on Sunday nights. After an extremely busy week and weekend, I like to have this time to myself before starting another busy week. I like to have time in my room cleaning, organizing, getting my dance and school clothes ready for the week. I like to have this time to relax, think about the fun I had over the weekend and think about what I need to do the next week. This small amount of alone time I take for myself is really necessary for me to regroup and unwind. If I don’t take a little time for myself, I find that I carry around way too much stress.
Spending time alone can be a difficult task for a social butterfly, a name I’ve been called many times. However I enjoy sitting at home in my room by myself. Sitting by myself in my room may make it sound like I’m lonely or that I don’t have a social life, but this time is something that I choose to have. Jane E. Brody even writes in the Impacts of Loneliness On Health, that loneliness can impair health by raising levels of stress hormones and inflammation, but my alone time doesn’t make me feel lonely or increased amounts of stress. Being a student athlete in AP and concurrent classes makes for a very busy and intense schedule. With such a busy schedule and attempting to maintain a social life, it can be very hard to have time alone. So I use the few moments of time I get to focus on de-stressing or calming myself after a long day. According to Dr. Angela Grice, “Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are,” Higgs cites this advice to emphasize the importance of alone time in development.
I have spent time alone both willingly and not. I think the feeling of loneliness is completely tailored to a person and how much they can handle. In my mind I separate loneliness and being alone. Loneliness seems more constant to me and doesn't mean you are physically alone, different from being alone which seems more willing and as if you just needed some time. The fear of loneliness that the author mentions can become toxic can have the opposite effect as intended. I am okay with being alone, I think it is important for self-understanding and growth. But there comes a time when some people shouldn't be alone with themselves and they need to be absorbed into the world around them. There is a balance that is needed with being alone and having the ability to go out. Without this balance I feel that people can get absorbed into their own mind, which doesn't always have a positive outcome.
I feel that I am really good at spending time alone which does sound kinda sad. When I am stressed out one thing that immediately relieves that stress is singing to music alone. When I am by myself I don’t have to worry about impressing people or running out of things to talk about. Like the article says, I feel free to do whatever when I am by myself. Liking alone time does not mean i don’t like people. When I am with some of my best friends I feel like we could go on talking forever. It did not surprise me when I read that having alone time may better your social skills. I think giving emotions their own time helps people to feel more positive which therefore makes people like you more.
@Emily Vogt
I do not think it sounds sad at all to be good at spending time alone. I think that it is a necessary skill that many people lack. If you are always living for and through other people, your life will be hollow and unfulfilling. Everyone needs personal time and I think that it is really good that you feel comfortable taking that time for yourself.
You mentioned that you like to listen and sing along to music when you are alone. I too enjoy doing this and find that it helps me to escape from the outside world and truly be by myself.
I am usually always hanging out with people whether its my brother or my friends. I also enjoy spending some time alone, getting a break from reality. I could spend a full day alone and be just fine and I could also spend a full day with friends and be happy. “No pressure to do anything, no pressure to talk to anyone, no obligation to make plans with people,” i feel like I can just rest, listen to music, or even go outside and go for a bike ride. Being alone just helps me clear my mind of all or the stress and negative things. I don't usually think of being alone as a negative thing but my parents think otherwise. I just tell them that I need a break they usually listen but then i will end up with friends later in the day.
Being alone is my go to. Some people may get sad when their alone or feel like they need to be with somebody. I'm completely opposite. I like being alone. I feel secure. I know that nothing can bother me or at least try not to let it bother me. Spending time alone just gives me time to think about the different things in life. It also makes me feel like I don't need to please everybody other than myself. Just feelings.
I actually enjoy being alone, mostly in my room with music blasting. It actually helps me gather my thoughts together. I know a lot of people that are scared to be alone but I honestly think everyone needs to have time for themselves. Its these moments that help you heal.
Personally, I enjoy spending time alone because I’m very good at it. I spend time alone, about 2 times a week, because life can become overwhelming. But, too much alone time can bring on the fear of loneliness and take away from solitude itself. I believe that being alone does benefit social relationships because everyone needs a break from time to time. This time allows us to gather our thoughts and help us to come back to reality with a more positive mindset. I have benefitted from this and many other things that come with being alone. When I’m alone, it gives me a chance to reflect on a lot of things that are going on in my life. I get to reflect on my decisions and on what I plan to do in the future. As mentioned in the article, time alone is good for mental health. I agree with this 100%. I often practice self care when I’m alone, overwhelmed and worried, which helps me relax and clear my mind. However, in reality we as people living in today’s society are never completely alone. We have technology, which stops us from being completing alone.
I like spending time alone and in fact spending time with myself is something I do often. I enjoy staying in and pampering myself wearing a face mask and getting my nails done.
Spending time with myself is something I do quite often. There are many different reasons I spend time with myself like when my homework is stressing me out, im mad at my sister, sometimes I just hope on my golf cart or my bike and I go for a ride to get out.
The quoted article says “we have some evidence that valuing solitude doesn't really hurt your social life.” I didn't see this from this perspective until after finishing the article. I thought if you overvalued solitude that you would turn yourself into an introvert. The article goes on to say that solitude actually has very many health benefits.
I think everybody needs solitude whether it be to “recharge” from a busy or social weekend or they just need some alone time to be with themselves. With having a sibling I think having solitude is extremely important. Sometimes i just need a sister detox.
Throughout my life I have always enjoyed being alone. I feel refreshed after I’ve been able to seclude myself for a bit of time, and usually look forward to doing things with my friends afterward. Usually I spend my time painting or drawing, doing crafts, playing with my pets, or just scrolling through social media. These simple single-person activities allow me to learn more about myself without the pressure of other people’s opinions.
In today's society, I don't think it's possible for us to truly be alone. Whether it's messages from friends, advertisements, or even companies like Amazon and Facebook mining your information to sell to advertisers, someone is always interacting with you. Technology has erased the ability for us to be alone, and I think this is one of the great faults of technology.
In the article, it is mentioned that time alone is good for mental health, and perhaps this lack of alone time due to technology is what is causing the increased rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide in teenagers. As we constantly chat with our friends or interact with people, even strangers, online, we are eating into time that used to be spent completely alone. Perhaps if we cut back on the social interaction, unplugged, and completely sealed ourselves away for a portion of the day the general state of American teenagers would improve.
To remedy this state of constant technological saturation, I like to take time out of my day, as often as I can, and write letters to people. It is a habit I picked up from a friend of mine and I find it to be a great way to reflect on that has happened to me and decompress. I never mail the letters or show them to anyone, but it is a way of expressing my feelings and talking to people, without having to deal with responses. In my opinion, this is the essence of alone time - doing something for you.
I personally love spending alone time. Mainly because I am what’s called an ambivert, meaning I am both Introverted and Extroverted. While I am happy to spend time with friends or family, I’m also just as happy to have some time to myself to unwind. But too much alone time can make me feel lonely or slightly depressed.
I spend my time really well by myself. I like enjoying sitting outside by myself and looking at nature and how beautiful everything really is. I will always find something to do when im by myself including working out, running, video games, and enjoying nature. Sometimes I feel like I would like to hangout with people at sometimes because I enjoy time with my friends and by myself. I love swimming in the summer and sledding in the winter.
I actually like free time every once and a while, it's good to take a break from people, to just unwind and clear your mind of stress. Even though you definitely should be around people so that you don't go crazy, plus it's good to hang out around people to get some interactions. I do like to be by myself sometimes because I think that it helps me unwind I can just enjoy the silence for a little bit and think about everything that is going on in your life.
There are some points where I do like to spend some time alone. I normally like to have a day where I spend time alone when I have had a long or rough week. I do enjoy spending time alone because sometimes I need a break from everybody and being along can help me focus on school work or things I need to get done.
I'm really good at spending time alone and I like it. My parents both have job so sometimes I spent time alone when I was little age. I can enjoy spending time by myself. Because I can do whatever I want. And also I don't have to pay attention to other people.
I think spending time alone is very important for me. I like hanging out with friends but I need to be alone sometimes. I like to just sit there and enjoy the quiet because I don’t get very much of it. As I’ve grown older it’s become easier to get some time alone which is a very big plus of becoming an adult.
I am really bad at spending time alone. One thing is that I get bored really easy and I am less bored when I am spending time with someone and doing something. Another thing is that I am a very huge talker and just love being around people like for example if I ever get a chance to spend time with my friends or my family I make sure that I can do that.
I love spending time alone. Although that might sound weird, but I love having time to do what I want with no one around. I often spend a lot of time alone, which is great. During the week it’s normally more since I lock myself in my room, but I spend a lot of time alone while driving. Spending time by myself gives me time to step back and take a breath of fresh air to get away from the world.
I think spending time by myself is nice and relaxing. I don't prefer to be alone all the time but sometimes when I come home after school it is nice to be able and relax alone in a quiet house. I don't like to spend my weekends alone as i am always with someone and doing something. I think that most people value alone time, especially if they are always around people. Some people though do not like being alone and even fear it no matter how much they are around people. I think it's good to have a balance of being around people and having fun and being alone to relax by yourself.
I love spending time alone. It gives me time to relax and refocus. When I'm alone I will redecorate my room or take a nap. I'm usually home alone about once a week so I’m pretty good at finding things to do. Also when people are alone it gives them time to reconnect and think about things.
I am good at spending time by myself. I am usually home by myself because my mom works late. I usually just play video games or watch YouTube. I enjoy being home alone because it is quiet and my brother isn’t there to drain my sanity. I do chores so I don’t get scolded for being lazy.
I enjoy time by myself. People are often uncaring and selfish. They only want good for them. I spend time alone whenever I can get it. Sometimes I need freedom from society. I generally play video games or read. I love alone time.
I love to spend time alone; It clears my mind and helps me to calm down. Most people think its wierd, as most people in the west do, but its really quite nice. The article talks about how most people percieve poeple who like to be alone as wierd but I see people who like to be alone as more inelegent as they dont give in to social convention; their spines havent been broken and shaped to conform to society. People who dont like to spend time alone, as the article talks about, are always in need of attention from others, confromation that they are doing the right thing. They can’t think for themselves. The article talks about people who like to spend time alone like to do what they want to do, not what others tell them to. I agreee with this statment completly as its true for me; I like to do what I want to do. I like to be myself. Independent.
I think people who dont like or haven’t spent much time alone should try it. It’s enjoyable. If you want to play video games or watch videos or just sit there you can. No one tells you what to do. It’s like working for yourself; no one to tell you what to do. Realxing should be just that, relaxing. Others shouldnt be telling you what to do or how to have fun. Fun should be spontanious. If you want to listen to unpopular music then you can; if you want to play a borad game from the 70’s you can. If you want to sit in the grass with a stick you can. You are free to explore; the world is your oyster.
For me, I find it hard to see the side of people who don't find alone time enjoyable. I've been using alone time as a way to recharge, get new ideas, and relax for as long as I can remember. I can also atest to the article that using this alone time has prevented me from developing filler friendships. In only spending quality time with the friends who mean the most to me, spread out over a period of time, it prevents me and my friends from burning out, and stops clingy and sometimes possessive friendships from ocurring.
I'd much rather spend time by myself where I can do what I'd like, instead of having to do what people around me want. This time for me is often small due to my schedule, but I believe it's very important to dedicate some time every week to focus on just yourself, and be selfish in the best way possible. I'll often spend this time outside on the trampoline, walking my dog, riding my bike, or any other way that allows me to take some time to just think. Or, I'll spend this time watching Netflix, reading a cheesy book, or listening to music to help ease me of my stress. After my alone time, I feel as fresh as ever, and I'm ready to take on what life throws at me next.
I walk into my house, drop my bag, go to my room, and breathe. That moment of falling not so gracefully into the comforting smell of pillows and blankets is my favorite time of the day. For ten seconds, I don’t have to think about others or what I have to do next. I can sit there and do absolutely nothing.
Being part of the introvert community, I know how being exhausted from a long day can be. I rarely want to spend tons of time with the outside world, and when I do, I’m so tired I could fall over? That never sounds fun to me. I love my moments of being alone with me and my thoughts.
So when reading about how some people are unable to take a step away from everyone, baffles me. The fear of being seen as weird for knitting, playing a ukelele, and having my interests that might not be the number one choice is always there. Still, the idea of letting my thoughts wander alleviates the constant social pressure I face along with so many others, no matter how social you think you are.
Being alone doesn’t mean facing loneliness. I can have a moment not to be pressured into liking a sure thing just because all of my friends think it’s cool. No amount of people-pleasing will compare to the fact that when I think about my wants and hobbies, I can be myself and figure out how to be in this world.
As a generally creative person, I relish the opportunity for some alone time. Its when I’m able to create and ponder future ideas undistracted. In all reality, I dislike painting or creating in general when people are nearby. I like to take my art in myself before I present it to others. Even though I love having time for myself I still am social and enjoy spending time with others. More importantly, when I do go out to hang out with others I know personally that the relationship is important to me and I genuinely want to spend time with this person.
This idea separating my perception of loneliness and time alone came from my years in middle school. I danced at a high demanding level ( six days a week ) through most of middle school and couldn’t go to many events after school. So I had to pick which events I found most important for my day off. Most of the time I saw dance as something that killed my social life but after a while, I found it gave me time to develop my creativity in dance and painting. Not only that but I found a community at my dance studio as well.
So I still have ample time to myself because of dance but I know how to appreciate it and use it.
I love hanging out with my friends and family. They bring me joy and help me grow as a person. I enjoy going out and doing things around town. Despite this, I do enjoy alone time. It’s not difficult for me to be alone. When I have time to myself (a few hours per day), I usually spend it either listening to music, doing homework, browsing the internet, or going outside. Occasionally I’ll read, cook, or clean.
In the article, the author mentions mental heath and feelings of loneliness. I think having time to yourself is essential to a happy life. Some people, though, tend to fear loneliness, therefore not spending time alone, which can be detrimental to their health. I think that other factors such as school or other time-consuming things can get in the way of this alone time.
Spending time alone is also very beneficial for your social life. Being around others constantly can make you feel burnt out or start to put a strain on your relationships. I also seem to benefit from alone time by growing as a person. It gives me time to reflect on myself and think about my day. After reading the article, I would definitely tell extroverts the benefits of alone time and that gradually giving yourself more and more of it can benefit them in the long run while getting rid of the lonely feeling. I will also give myself more alone time and fully utilize this time to better myself and my relationships with others.
Being an only child, I already spend a pretty good amount of time alone. When both of my parents aren’t home it’s just my dog and I, so I’ve gotten pretty used to being alone often- but when it comes to either spending time alone or hanging out with my friends, I would much rather be around other people.
In the article it talks about how being lonely can negatively impact your mental health if you make it, but time alone isn’t always necessarily a bad thing to have sometimes. Marini Higgs writes that “...solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.” saying that time alone in some ways can boost our skills when engaging with others.
Choosing to spend time alone rather than going out is sometimes the better choice though. If you’re stressed out or not in a good mental state, being by yourself can give you an opportunity to recollect and calm yourself.
@Kamryn Queen I am not an only child and can still agree with everything you have written. I love spending time with friends but I also spend lots of time alone when my parents are at work.
I believe we have the same view on the article when it comes to our views on what alone time dies to you emotions and mental health.
@Kamryn Queen
I believe that we have the same views on the article; that spending time alone to recharge is good for your mental and emotional health. However, as someone with two older sisters and one still in the house, I prefer to spend more time alone than with others. I think this is because I'm so used to having people around, that it's hard to get alone time. Since you're an only child, this might be why you prefer to go out with friends rather than stay home.
I love having time to myself. I get to relax, do homework, and watch my favorite shows without having to deal with the drama in my life. I had never thought that other people are forced into alone time and I was a bit confused when Thuy-vy Nguyen mentioned it. She explained that a person who is forced to be alone would rather hang out with people they don’t like then stay at home by themselves. This quote made me look back and think if I chose to be alone or if I was forced to be alone during certain times in my life.
Other than being in time out as a kid, I've never been forced to be alone. For this reason, I view alone time as being a good thing. Being able to be alone allows me to relax from a stressful day at school and not have to worry about the drama of that day. I get to recap on how I was feeling throughout the day and not have to worry about what others think. Of course, I don’t want to be alone all the time, but I make sure that I do get me time now and again.
When I am alone I know that in reality, I’m not truly alone. I have my family, friends, and pets around me all the time, so I never feel lonely. Just because you’re alone, doesn’t mean you’re lonely.
@Kyra Schwagerl I agree with the points you're making, until I read this article I viewed taking time alone as something good to occasionally have.
But then reading about how some are forced into time alone gave me a different perspective. Someone saying they would rather hang out with people they dislike rather than spending time alone is probably an indicator they are alone too much for the wrong reasons. I do agree in the end when you said that just because you may be alone in the moment, doesn't mean you're lonely.
I definitely benefit from solitude to recharge. Take this weekend I was babysitting my younger cousins while both of our parents went to a wedding. It was so draining having to be around people all day and talk and play games and think of things to do. On Sunday when I got to go home and have 3 hours to myself I for some reason got in a really productive mood and basically cleaned my entire house. I was so excited to have a couple all to myself that I couldn’t sit still. I did everything I needed to do and then after that I took my dog and went on a run. Being alone and having my only responsibility be myself helped me recharge after a weekend of being drained by little boys. When my dad did get home Sunday night I was successfully “recharged” enough to talk to him about both our weekends and have dinner together and watch tv.
Many people are not able to spend time alone, they are too caught up in the “social world” to be able to enjoy spending time alone. I am not one of those people. I do like hanging out with people, and I do prefer to do that but I can be equally as happy alone.
Living in a society that never slows down I find it healthy to log off from the social world and enjoy a good book or watch a TV show. When spending time by yourself you can learn so much about yourself and you can become better grounded in the real world.
My favorite things to do alone range from skiing, reading a book, going on a walk, hunting, or even just relaxing at home. I try to take one weekend a month where I don't hang with any friends, or go on social media. Factors that disrupt my alone time are things like social media. When I go on social media I see everything I'm missing out on, whether it be a party or a get together with the homies.
When spending time alone I feel it does help my confidence, creativity, and social relationships. People will wonder where you are and want you to be there, your brain opens up to new ideas because you have nothing else to do, and you get to know yourself better which will make you more confident.
Emotions. The magnitude of things we feel as we go through daily life, especially in mine. I am very much an extravert. I love being around my friends and having fun. However, it is being alone which allows me to feel these emotions.
Each day I go to school and talk a lot. Then I go home and just stay in my room alone. It’s quiet. Silent. Peaceful. I am allowed to just think about whatever I want, daydream. To be honest, daydreaming is probably my favorite pastime. Sorting through my mind for all the things that piqued my interest that day. Even though, I am the loudest person I know, I can’t work, read, or think without absolute silence. That is something my room offers the most. Enclosure from the world. I can lay in my bed, close my eyes, and visualize. Spending time with myself is the only way I can know who I am. How I feel about a situation. How I figure out my homework. The article says that spending time alone can, “regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations.” That is precisely how my brain works. All the things I do throughout the day have no meaning if I can’t think about them. Loneliness is truly a “calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.” An effect that prepares us to engage with our inner selves.
@Akye Nixon-McCray
The article says,“It also helps us discover new interests and ideas without having to worry about the opinions of others”. Therefore this adds to your statement, “Spending time with myself is the only way I can know who I am.” I agree with this statement entirely.
Solitude, leaves us to ourselves and only ourselves. We are free from the minds, and judgement of our peers. This is the only way to truly understand who we are. Without this time alone, we will be lost in a series of identities, and frustration, unable to ever describe ourselves as unique, or different.
Personally, I really enjoy spending time alone, and in fact I think most of my time is spent alone. I think it is important to have time to yourself and I don’t really think there can be too much of it. Spending time alone is perceived as this bad thing because hanging out with other people is considered more “fun”.
The article states that spending time alone doesn’t always negatively affect your social life, that it adds to it. The writer says that it is important because it helps regulate our emotions and better prepares us to engage with others. It touches on the fact that some people experience loneliness in a bad way because they aren’t choosing to spend time by themselves, they just are. When you are choosing to set aside that time for yourself it is healthy, but when it is a common occurrence for you, it can have many negative effects on your mental health. The article also says that people who tend to compromise their desires for others enjoy spending more time alone than others, which I found surprising. Those people need more time alone to find themselves, so when put in situations where they have to compromise their desires, they aren’t always getting the short end of the stick. Finding yourself also allows for you to discover your interests and find people who have the same passions.
I don’t always like to be alone, but some days I need a breather too. Especially right now; It feels like I’m never alone. I just want to grab a giant bag of chips and sit there in my room binge watching my favorite show on Netflix. I want to eat ice cream, and dance to the sound of silence. I am so looking forward to the day when I can do that. Instead, I’m walking into the house late every night, eating dinner, doing homework, and going to bed. What kind of life is that? Weekends are taken up by family things, and outings with my friends, and of course, more homework. I’m always surrounded, and that just doesn’t feel like a good thing all the time. I love them, but I love me too.
It’d be like a mental health day. Like the article says, I could process and decompress everything. I can let go of my thoughts and just relax. I would have no obligations. The article goes on with Dr. Grice saying, “ making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are” , which is so important. The more I get to know myself, the easier it is for me to be with other people. Dr. Nguyen says it can even have social benefits because it’s calming and can better prepare you for social situations. I need that so much. With my busy life, it’s so easy for me to lose sight of who I am. I could use a day to myself to just be me and do the things I want to do.
@Shivani Patel, I agree with your opinion on alone time and how it may be beneficial. I find it relieving when I'm finally alone after long eight hours of school and I even find it calming when I'm able to see my friends after my social break. There are days in the week when I'm unable to rest because of my homework but when I'm able to, I also want to grab a bag of chips and wind down. Lastly, I agree with the fact that we can become unappreciative of our free time until we can't have it anymore. From now on, I'll take all the opportunities I can to take a break from my studies and stress and have my self care time.
My favorite thing is to spend quality time with my friends, and I try not to pass up on these opportunities. However, my weeks are non-stop, even on the weekends, so by the end of the week I am exhausted. This is a result of playing a sport outside of school and not getting enough alone time to regenerate.
I truly value my alone time, because I don’t have much of it and it’s important so that I can relax and recharge. Like the article says, “choosing” to spend time alone allows for “mental, emotional and social benefits.” I agree with this because my alone time allows me to get my head in the right mentality to continue doing my best.
I like my alone time, it gives me time to do what I want instead of having to do what others want to or entertaining someone. My alone time also is a chance for me to relax and care for myself which I think is important because I'm always doing something whether it's swimming or being at school all day. When something bad happens being alone gives me time to think or let out my emotions. Like the article states solitude can benefit your emotional health and even regulate your emotions. Ms. Roberts said “It also helps us discover new interests and ideas without having to worry about the opinions of others.” Like the article says that being alone is not a negative thing but a good thing and can improve your health, which is one of the reasons I like being alone sometimes.
I am a highly social individual. I crave time spent with my friends. But, I have found that I need to take time during the week and the weekend to decompress.
Being alone isn’t what makes you lonely. The term lonely is defined as having to friends or company. So, when I’m alone I couldn’t possibly lonely because I have friends whom I just cancelled plans with so I could have some personal time.
When I have “me time” I spend it processing my thoughts and doing self care- or I’m napping. Nevertheless, it doesn’t matter how I spend my time, because to simply put it, it’s for me and me alone.
I would be lying if I said I liked to be alone all the time. In fact the majority of the time I want to be with other people. I'm an extrovert. When I'm not around people I often feel sad and lonely. I think of everything I'm missing out on. But lately, I have noticed that being alone isn't always a bad thing. I need my privacy and time alone. A few nights a week I have free time and I often want to sit in my room alone but my parents call me down to hang out with them. Those times of forced interaction cause me to value the time I get to be alone and have to myself. I like how the article says “it's not that solitude isn't always good, but it can be good.” I agree. You shouldn't spend hours on end alone but alone time is important.
@Grace Trimpey-Warhaftig
I believe that spending time alone has different effects from person to person. An introverted person might feel stress in social situations and be more calm when alone. On the other hand, an extrovert may gain energy from being around people and become bored with too much alone time away. Personally, I find myself becoming drained and bored when I am alone. This is in contrast to my brother who values his time alone in his room where he can focus on one thing without distractions.
I agree with the article that suggests it is not healthy to be alone when you feel sad or emotional. Being alone lets you focus on the sadness and wallow in self-pity. Time around other people can help you cope with your emotions and also distract from sadness.
I feel that our society is plagued by busyness. In America especially, people rush from one activity to the next without a single moment to themselves. I'm only 16, and I have already found myself falling victim to this detrimental lifestyle. I wake up every morning at 7:00, arrive at school by 8:15, leave school at 3:30, go to work from 4:00 to 7:00, go home, eat dinner, do homework, go to bed at 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning, and do it all again the next day. This is not including the extra activities that arise each week, like attending sports events and youth groups.
Recently, I have found myself burnt out. This past week, I took two days off from school simply because I had pushed myself past my limit and I was in desperate need of a break. I spent two days at home by myself, relishing my alone time and realizing how unhealthy my busy lifestyle is. I have decided that spending time alone is necessary for my personal health.
My pastor recently shared a quote from Dallas Willard: "Hurry is the great envy of spiritual life in our day." I am religious, so this quote went to show me the importance of quiet time in regards to my relationship with God. No matter your beliefs, however, I feel that alone time is vital to our personal health. In the midst of our relentlessly busy lives, spending 30 minutes a day alone meditating or reflecting can keep us grounded and prevent us from getting too caught up in the neverending tasks that come at us every day.
@Jackie Booth I can really connect to this. I feel that social media has consumed my life without me even realizing it. Having to stay "in the loop" all the time is very time consuming. On top of school, which is nonstop. So having time alone or taking time off is a really healthy idea, maybe I should consider doing that.
(Part 2)
This article reminded me that alone time is more than just something that’s nice to have every once in a blue moon, though. Even directing my thoughts away from others for a short run or shower could help recharge my social battery life. This is the year my stress level has really drastically increased, and I remember how much healthier I felt last year when I had more alone time. I’m sure carving out time dedicated just to me would help me cope with the stress I face and also improve my relationships (with myself and others); after all, as the article says, we ought to “treat yourself as you would treat others,” and I sure hope I treat others with respect and care. In the future, I really hope to relearn alone time.
(Part 1)
The people who know me best know that I can be outgoing with my friends, but eventually, my “social battery” is exhausted and I crash. I’m an introvert who values social interaction, but my social stamina is already pretty weak. That said, I really value alone time. I suspect part of the reason I crash is that my alone time is cut so short by school (like it is for many students). For example, I love reading. I used to read all the time just for fun, but now I hardly even have the time for my assigned school reading. The bottom line is I’m not good at alone time like I used to be because there are not enough hours in the day and stress is a chronic illness common in teenagers. Taking even thirty minutes out of my week is sometimes difficult, and even when I do succeed in taking that time, I’m distracted. My to-do list is always there on my phone and the lives of the people I surround myself with bounce around in my head. I’ll open a book to read (just for me, not for any class), and I’m too tired to make it even thirty minutes before drifting off. Other times, the words on the page go uncomprehended because the thought of something unfinished is too pressing. And, on those rare occasions where I do find spare time, I usually end up spending it sleeping or being with the people I love but see so little of.
I really enjoyed this article because I am someone that enjoys time by myself I did not know about all the benefits of being alone, I never really thought of that. Now that I think about it being alone really helps me think about who I hang out with and what I send it.
Being alone is not something everyone can do despite what the room says I don’t think that some people can spend time alone it wouldn’t be healthy for some people for people like me who enjoy being by themselves, I think I need to be pushed to go out more. for those people who do not like to be by themselves but want to try this will be a lot more difficult to start.
I think everyone needs some alone time no matter how long or short. When you’re alone and you have conversations with yourself you feel like you’re solving the world's problems it helps you change the way you act with other people and with yourself.
If you are someone who is very stressed a lot than being alone will help you don’t feel the stress of other people. Overall being alone is very good being alone all the time well you need to go and socialize it is a very important part of life.
I do not like spending time alone. I always like to hang out with my friends, no matter what I am doing. Whenever I am alone, I feel very bored and lonely.
Whenever I am with my friends too long, we start to get on each other’s nerves. When I go home and spend time alone, I do feel like I am able to refocus and center myself. I feel similar to what Thuy-vy Nguyen said in the article, “Solitude helps us regulate our emotions, it can have a calming effect that prepares us to better engage with others.”
I disagree when Dr. Grice said, “Cultivating this sense of being alone and making the choice to be alone can help you to develop who you are, your sense of self, and what your true interests are.” I feel like when I am with my friends, I am more apt to try more new things and find new activities that interest me.
@Hogan Meiser I agree with certain aspects in your last paragraph. Just like you, I feel like my friends influence who I am and what I try to do. Even though my friends have a big influence on me, I don’t allow them to define me. I think that from time to time people need to be alone just to exist with their thoughts.
I like spending time alone. It makes it easier to relax. It´s hard for me be alone though because I am a very busy person. Plus I have a twin so I have even less time to be alone because we share a room.
@Renee Regnier I am a busy person also and I agree that this can make it difficult to find time to be alone. Family can also make it hard to have true privacy. However, I believe it is important to make the effort. Having time alone helps to relieve my stress and deal with problems I may be having.
I find being alone pretty nice sometimes, it allows you to think to yourself. When you spend time alone thinking, it allows you to be more interesting when having social interactions. If I spent all of my time being social, then I would feel a lot more drained when talking to people.
The article says that "being lonely hurts" but if you can find something positive out of being alone, it can make time well spent. I tend to stray away from being alone, because even while I'm at home by myself, i'm talking to people on discord. However I find that if I spend time sitting alone just listening to music, it makes me much more enjoyable to be around, when I talk to people again.
Being lonely isn’t good for you, but sometimes you need to be alone. Sounds crazy right? Those are the same things you might think, but in reality there are very different. That feeling of loneliness can “negatively impact your health,” but solitude can be helpful to you. Solitude can help you recharge, it can help you regulate your emotions.
It is important that we all take a little time to ourselves. It is important that you learn to “treat yourself as you would treat others.” we have to be able to be there for ourselves and take care of ourselves, so that we can be the best version of ourselves for those around us.
Outside of school, I'm a very social person If I’m not hanging out with people I tend to get bored. I like to have plans every night on the weekend but after a full busy weekend, I like to spend Sunday alone catching up on homework or spending the day with my family rather than my friends. In the article it talks about how people view solitude negatively because it has been used as a form of punishment and has been related to sadness or depression but despite all of this spending time alone can allow for some positive benefits,“experts say it can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations”. I think it’s important to spend some time alone every once in a while to reflect upon and understand yourself more.
@Chloerose Ratcliff I agree with you that every once and awhile to take some alone time to reflect. I think that you saying that while you are a very social person, you do make sure to take a day to stay on top of things shows how you can be sociable and have alone time.
I also like your statement about how people view solitude negatively since it has been used as a form of punishment, but then you back up how it is not always bad. I like your reference to the article and how it says that time alone can be beneficial to your social relationships.
I am usually pretty good about having my alone time. I usually spend some time alone but I don't particularly like to spend a lot of time by myself.
I do not fear loneliness as I like to have some alone time some days as I think everyone should. spending time alone can provide many benefits like they said it can help social relationships as well as it can help you relax better and not have to socialize at all times.
i think that this advice from Dr. Nguyen is very good i think it is important to value this alone time and to treat yourself. some good things to do to help spend quality alone time are to do things you like to do like reading or anything like that to help you focus and enjoy your time.
I consider myself to be a very outgoing and energetic person. With my sports that I play and my friends and family, I am always on the go! I love to be able to have fun with the ones around me but at the same time I don’t mind being to myself at times.
Within the article it makes great points about how being to oneself is actually very healthy for your mental state of mind. “Identifying moments when you need solitude to recharge and reflect can help us better handle negative emotions such as stress.”
I believe this is so true. With our generation and the things we are a part of as a society we are always doing something. That quickly leads to being burnt out and getting stressed out rather quickly. As teens we need to learn how to better manage our time and that it is okay to take a break for a while. It’s okay to take time for yourself so you can recharge your batteries to go 100% again.
@Jadah Armour Also being a student athlete, I can relate to how you spend your time. Like you said, we are always on the go and sometimes need time to catch a break. I spend the majority of my time with my friends, either in school, or on the soccer field, and I love this time with them, but I do value my alone time. It’s always good to have time to relax and recharge!
There are definitely pros and cons to being alone. For me, I love to be with my friends. We always go biking to Publix or Harris Teeter and buy some candy and drinks and then we head to one of our houses to chill and relax. We also love to go to the pool for hours and later we go to the park at night just to talk about stuff.
and yet, being alone can be fun. For instance, today I was alone at the house. My sister was at a sleepover while my mom was working and my dad was on a golf trip. It was just me. So naturally, I slept in late and went to the gym for some exercise. I had a lot of energy but I was hungry so I biked to Publix for some sushi and items to make a sandwich. I then went home to relax and watch The Office with my dog. It was a busy but fun afternoon.
Thuy-vy Nguyen said that solitude is good for our emotion and can even help in your own social life. I totally agree with this because even though being alone can be boring, it also can show you who you are and how you act. Personally, I like to be around people but it's always good to take a breather.
@Soen McCormick I have to agree with you in saying there are pros and cons to being around other people. As I have gotten older I have had more of a need to have some time to myself. Being around people all the time is quite exhausting. The quote you had at the end also makes an interesting point. Being alone gives you time to reflect on who you are and can help when it comes to being social. For the earlier part of my life I had to be around other people or I was bored. Spending some time with myself allowed me to see how truly annoying I came off to other people. This gave me a chance to improve...well...try to improve. Things take time.
The act of being alone. Something I often don’t know I need, and something I crave on a daily basis. From such a young age, our parents put us in as much extracurricular activities as possible, school, and social events because they never want us to feel lonely. But is being alone one and the same with being lonely? Honestly, I don’t think so at all. I think that the time I spend alone, is the period of time where I can begin to feel the most in touch with my true self.
Being alone. I think it’s good for me to be by myself and even sometimes, be bored. When I am alone, I get creative. I become imaginative. I learn how to better every aspect of my life. My mental and physical health improves because during that time, I think about how I can improve as a person.
“But the mere act of being alone with oneself doesn’t have to be bad, and experts say it can even benefit your social relationships, improve your creativity and confidence, and help you regulate your emotions so that you can better deal with adverse situations.” This statement makes me feel confident that when I am alone, I am growing into the best version of me that I can. And for that, I am proud. When I am alone, I can give myself pep talks and think about the past and future, and learn to focus on the now. I learn so much about myself when I’m alone. I learn that I am enough. I have always been enough. And I will always be enough.
Spending time alone is a crucial part of my mental health. Especially during school, after spending seven hours with 2000 other teenagers, I need a couple of hours to be by myself and relax. Socializing and spending time with other people can feel like it takes away a lot of my energy, but being by myself can help me rejuvenate.
In the article, Marini Higgs writes about how being rewarded for spending time alone most often occurs when you choose to be alone. For me, this is very true. When I decide that I'm going to spend my day doing nothing and hanging out in my room, it can set my next few days up to be more productive. However, when I have plans that get cancelled or I don't have anyone to hang out with, I do not feel more relaxed by being alone.
Dr. Nguyen says that spending time by yourself can end up adding to your social life, and I can relate to this. When I spend my entire week and weekend socializing, I can end up tired and grumpy. However, when I have a day or two in between to rest, I'm more productive and more likely to stay social.
@Hayden Carroll , I also can relate to this. Sometimes spending time alone helps me think clearly and when I get back to the real world I am definitively more productive. We all need our time to spend with yourselves and retain our energy again. We all need a break sometimes and that is good for our mental health.
I consider myself to be relatively successful with finding time to dedicate to myself. It can be hard to put alone time as a priority on the long list of things needing to be done, especially during the school year. With this in mind, I try to give myself time to relax, reflect on my week, think through situations, and do some self care. I think self care in and of itself can be one of the most relaxing things to do; it also gives you time to just sit and think.
When I was younger, I believe it was a lot easier to spend time alone without thinking of what others are up to. Having a phone and social media has definitely impacted my alone time. I think social media can bring a pressure that you need to appear as if you are always up to something. This used to bother me a lot more than now. Now, I don’t really feel like solitude is something wrong or out of place at my age. I think it is very important in order to keep in touch with yourself and how you feel.
After spending time with myself, I feel more tuned in to my emotions. Sometimes it is difficult to distinguish where they’re coming from, but after time alone, understanding how I feel is easier. I definitely think that having an opportunity to reflect on yourself improves your social relationships. After all, how can you communicate with others well if you can’t communicate with yourself? Taking time alone really is a sacred thing, and this article helps motivate me to continue prioritizing it.
I look forward to time alone. It’s a time where I can gather my thoughts and take a second to breathe without the pressure of social interactions. Just because I choose to take time to myself doesn't mean I'm lonely while doing it. After a long day of school, I tend to want to go home and be alone. Sometimes people assume I am sad for wanting this, but that isn’t the case.
In the related article, it agrees with the points of how alone time is a positive thing and discusses the many benefits it can have. Some of these benefits are help with social interactions, regulates emotions, improves creativity and confidence, and help you better deal with adverse situations.
I believe time on your own is healthy and natural. I hope everyone has some time in their day to sit with themselves and just be present in that moment.
I spend the majority of my time alone. Doing homework, studying, occasionally playing video games or watching a show alone. Just this very moment, I’m home alone writing a comment for the New York Times. I enjoy the time I spend alone, though. It gives me time to think, reflect, and get stuff done. It’s refreshing.
With that being said, I spend most of my alone time thinking about people besides myself. I plan ahead and think about decisions I’ll make. I do homework with the hope that my teachers will approve of it. I practice piano to impress my teacher. I think I’ll try doing that less. I’ll take more time out of my day to focus on my own thoughts, my own interests, and my own hobbies rather than those of the people around me.
Spending time alone is something that I tend to enjoy. My alone time usually consists of decompressing from the stress faced on the day. The main source of stress in my life mostly comes from the plethora of schoolwork. School assignments take up all of my nights and good chunks of my weekend. Weekends are supposed to be a time of peace, but it tends to be the opposite. The article states that being alone can “negatively impact your health,” but goes on to say that it can “improve your creativity and confidence. When I’m alone I tend to forget all the stresses of my daily life. My time alone tends to be when I’m most productive. Trying to do homework or other daily chores with others around tends to make the task ten times more difficult. My alone time is something that I cherish very much and wouldn’t sacrifice it for anything.
I do enjoy spending time alone on occasion but I find myself feeling more comfortable when I am around my family or a close friend. As Dr. Grice said in the article making the choice to be alone can actually benefit you. Within the time that I have spent alone I have grown to know the passion I have for writing and reading. Although I do enjoy the beneficial time that I spend alone I also enjoy the time that I get to spend with Austin, my older brother. When we are together we are always making jokes and just having fun together.
I do agree with what was said in the article regarding the need for everyone to find time to spend alone as it is beneficial. I think spending time alone can allow you to think clearly about things that may stress you out or just give you a chance to relax.
I really enjoy alone time because I feel much more productive without a lot of people to distract me. Being alone actually makes me more productive, thus allowing me to be more creative. Sometimes I can get overwhelmed with school or other stress, and being alone gives me an opportunity to manage that stress or channel it into something productive. Alone time is what allows me to truly focus on the things I need to focus on.
@Layla Loew I agree that being alone helps me to focus and be more productive. I don’t always notice how distracted I can become with others around, but I definitely get more things done when I’m alone. I never thought about how being alone could affect my creativity. I agree that it would make me more creative to think without distractions. Without the distractions of other people, focusing, working, and just thinking is a lot easier as you said.
Personally I don’t mind being alone but I always enjoy spending time with others, I feel that I could spend hours on end with people and still feel fine afterwards, to the point where if I really want to, I could hang out with someone new for the next continuous hours. Though I have had my days where I just want to lay down in my bed all day, and have a staring contest with the ceiling, lately I’m always cover in homework and don’t do that anymore. I really do see the effects of being alone the “no pressure to talk to anyone” really helps me “recharge” and kind of rehabilitate in a way. I think it’s really important for each person to be able to get a chance to relax and think.
It depends what mood i am in, or how my day turned out. If my day wasn't the greatest, I tend to be alone because when I'm upset I don't like to upset or put anyone else in a bad mood, so usually I stay by myself and think about stuff. Other times I can be sad, and want someone to be with, like I said really depends on the mood, but most of the time I prefer to be alone.
Part 1-
Having some time all to myself has been part of my routine for as long as I can remember. Typically, my alone time is when I am laying in bed, mulling over everything that has happened during the day. During the regular day, I am either at school, at an activity, or busy doing homework. Being able to receive some time to cool my mind from the busy routine of life is something that I need to feel fresh. The time that I decide to devote to myself is at the end of the day, before I go to sleep. The only thing I do during this time period is lay in bed, letting my thoughts go wherever they want.
Even though I normally keep night time as time for myself, sometimes I feel the need to be alone during the day. Normally, I wish to be around my family and friends and socialize with them. There are moments, however, when I do not feel like socializing with anyone and just need time to sit down all by myself. During these moments, I just sit in a place and think about whatever comes to my mind. Often, I will sit down on a couch and read a book. I find that I enjoy these moments by myself, primarily because I choose to spend the time away from others and am not forcing myself to be isolated.
Part 2-
I think all people should live by the advice the article gives: “treat yourself as you would treat others.” In the attempt to try and please other people, we often forget to pay attention to ourselves. Spending time alone does not ruin your relationships, but in fact, makes your relationships stronger by making you a calmer person. In addition to this, having time to yourself reduces levels of stress and anxiety and as the article states, makes it easier to cope with negative emotions and experiences. Whether they want to admit it or not, all people need time to just sit and reflect, away from the routine of the busy world. If everyone was willing to let go of the urge to please others and devote some time to themselves daily, the world would be a much more peaceful and happier place.
Spending time alone can be perceived in many completely different ways. As the article points out how being alone can “negatively impact your health” but also states that being by yourself can “benefit you're social relationships.” Personally I very much enjoy the time I get to myself to just take a break from everyone else's thought hammering into your brain. I just think what I want without worrying about how other people are going to respond. Time spent alone can cause me to be the most productive and calm. As they state in the article time alone helps us control our emotions, causing this time to be very beneficial during stress or other strongly expressed emotions.
I am able to set the perfect amount of alone time aside to be able to clear my mind but not get lonely. To long alone is when it starts negatively impacting your health. Lonely and being by yourself are constantly seen as the same thing when in reality they have two completely different meanings. Being lonely has a negative connotation around it because it's a feeling while being alone is an action that may lead to that feeling but isn't necessarily there yet. A person being lonely is what causes the negative impact to your health. I enjoy being alone sometimes but I am able to keep it to the point where I never feel lonely.
Being alone really and just listening to my own thoughts isn’t really an option for me anymore. But whenever I can salvage that time for myself. I value it. Whether it be in the shower or just walking slowly. Not saying that I love being alone, but sometimes I just need “me” time to give me a push to get me through the last stretch of day.
At the end of the day, I need to get my thoughts out of my head and sometimes just be mindless. Not think about anything else. Not think about what other people might be doing. Just thinking about me and what I am going to do next. The article says that solitude can help regulate your feeling better, sort them out. You can think through your thoughts and feelings and sometimes ask yourself, “Was it worth it.” In the end everyone can benefit from getting away, not thinking, being mindless for a short period of time. Sometimes people use that time for thinking or just enjoying the beauty of life.
@Priya Patel I definitely agree with you Priya. With the amount of homework, extracurriculars, and time spent with our family and friends, it is very difficult to salvage that time we need. I enjoy being alone, so it's interesting to see how people who don't necessarily love it as much need it too. I've always known how much I've needed it, but never really considered how much others needed. I love the fact that you think about "was it worth it." It's something I probably need to do more when I get that time.
@Priya Patel I completely agree with you. Having time to be bored, and really sit with your feelings and be alone is often more crucial than we can fathom. Most of the time it’s too easy to get caught up in the busy schedule of school, homework, family and social life, and extracurricular activities that we often forget to take time to just be by ourselves. When we are by ourselves, it allows us to appreciate all those small aspects of life that often go unnoticed.
I for one, also need alone time in order to mentally function properly. You’re right, when we can be alone, we can enjoy the mere beauty of life instead of worrying about what comes next. It allows for us to slow down and live in the moment.
@Priya Patel I relate to what you said about valuing the little time that we have with ourselves. Between school, homework, and extracurriculars, it can be really difficult to find time to be alone.
You also mentioned being able to find solace in the shower, and that's also a place that pushes me through the end of the day. If I'm stressed out about homework, sometimes I'll take a break and shower since it's a place where I can be by myself and relax.
My alone time is possibly the most important part of my day. I spend almost all of my time around friends and family and am always thinking about something to make someone laugh or impress someone, but I never really think about myself. When I’m alone, getting lost in my thoughts is easy. I can sit and think about what I did that day and what I can do in the future and just what emotions I feel at the time.
Spending time alone is like when you eat something salty and eat something sweet right after. I know; it sounds really weird. But think about it. When you eat something sweet after eating something salty or sour, the sweetness is amplified because you just had the “opposite” taste. This is like when you spend some time by yourself and then talk with friends again. After spending time alone, you feel much happier interacting with other people because you don't feel like you're drowning in other people's thoughts instead of your own.
Alone time is the most important part of keeping healthy relationships, and I plan on keeping that time in my life, even if it means giving up some time with friends and family.
Alone time. Everyone needs some of that time every now and then. I enjoy hanging out with friends, but sometimes you just need a break. I love being with people, but you need some time to decompress and relax. I personally like to use that time just to sit and think.
Being alone doesn’t mean that you are lonely. Lots of people associate those 2 words together. Sometimes I just want some time to myself, that doesn’t mean that I have nobody to hang out with. I have plenty of friends to hang out with, but I don’t want to always hang out with them.
@Perry Troutman I couldn't have said it any better. Sure, most everyone has friends that they value and wouldn't trade for anything, but we all need a break from our friends at some point. Even the most social and outgoing members of society can benefit from solitude because of how well it allows us to process our emotions. In this day and age, it's easy to become overwhelmed with all of the people we have to meet, things we have to do, and requirements we have to meet. When given a bit of alone time, all of those requirements disappear; everything we have to worry about in the company of others can be brushed to the side. With this empty time, we have the ability to reflect on our lives and internalize everything that is going to or has happened to us, which can be far more valuable than any time spent in the company of someone else. So even though I love my friends and I feel like I can trust them with anything, I can't always spend time with them. Sometimes, all I want an empty room, myself, and my thoughts, because here, I have peace. I have no one asking how my day was, no one letting me in on the most recent gossip from school, and no one to disturb me. Here, I get to be the most authentic version of myself, and that's something I'll never give up.
I would say I’m pretty good about balancing my time alone and with others. As the article states, it isn’t healthy to spend time alone when lonely, but it’s still important to have time to yourself.
I often find myself alone, but I like keeping to myself sometimes. School is a great way for me to get out and interact with others, but my interactions with friends often seem limited during school hours. Even though I’d rather have the year off, school helps motivate me socially. Even when it’s not necessarily school, it’s good to find something that makes you have interactions.
I would say I’m pretty good about balancing my time alone and with others. As the article states, it isn’t healthy to spend time alone when lonely, but it’s still important to have time to yourself.
I often find myself alone, but I like keeping to myself sometimes. School is a great way for me to get out and interact with others, but my interactions with friends often seem limited during school hours. Even though I’d rather have the year off, school helps motivate me socially. Even when it’s not necessarily school, it’s good to find something that makes you have interactions.
@Aiden I also feel that schools can limit our social interactions but I'm also glad for it, I don't need to feel the pressure of having to socialize with others or to have to experience that moment where everyone is talking to someone except you. Though I love my friends, I also do find myself often alone and that people really can help bring the extrovert out of me
I love spending alone time. It is critical for me to have alone time to recharge and reflect. I often journal or read a book when I spend this time, or just listen to music while looking out my window. This is a daily thing, mostly in the evenings, since I have many other obligations during the day to my family, friends, and schoolwork.
Interestingly enough, I love alone time but I am afraid of being lonely. I don't let this fear get in the way of taking that time, though. I want to be able to have deep relationships with people, but I don't want to be with them all the time.
My creativity goes up when I am alone. Writing ideas pop up everywhere and are able to fill whole notebooks. In addition, one of my relationship with one of my friends got better when we spent more time away from each other. We started reflecting on the things we had done wrong to aggravate one another rather than all the things that the other had. This alone time helps us get away from the world and analyze our own actions.
I agree with Dr. Nguyen's advice. Life as a teen can be overwhelming- we have so much school work that takes away from any free time we have leftover after hanging out with people. But listen- it's okay to take that time. We don't have to make every hang out with people. Don't worry about this party being your only chance to "get in" with "those people". If they really cared about you, then they would respect your need for alone time and continue being your friend regardless.
@Gracelynn Whitaker
You and I are much alike. I value my alone time just as much as I value the time I spend with my friends. Being alone doesn't make me lonely. I'm content with how I spend my time alone. My creativity begins to flow and I can't help but paint whatever comes to me. I'll begin a scenery then I look at my clock and 3 hours have passed. Or reading a book, I center my focus around the book and I come up with new understandings and ideas. Walking my dog at 6 in the morning, a chill in the air and the sun is still down. Surrounded by darkness and a faint pant of her catching her breath, its calm and stress free. the world is still asleep and my time to myself is infinite. Time where I get to think to myself, without interruption. I don't make scheduled alone time quite like you do,
but the time that I do have to myself, I cherish.
I completely agree that having alone time helps you relax and decompress, as well as build confidence. I personally don’t get that much alone time, having two siblings, one that I share a room with, but I wish I did. On the occasions that I do get alone time, I do feel like I can truly relax and decompress. I don’t feel lonely when I am alone, because it is only occasional that I am alone. I use alone time in a variety of different ways, ranging from relaxing and reading a book or watching something, or getting something done, because it is easier to focus when I am alone.
Seeing all the benefits of having it, I think it would be a good idea to spend more time alone. Time alone is the best chance to be free of social pressure and helps you take a break from social activities. That is why the time is so valuable.