So was this piece about a woman complaining she was hot to trot? I am confused said the spider to the fly. Without sexual attraction we would be extinct.
9
This is the age of mass DENIAL. The right seems crazy because they DENY Climate Change is happening. When it is.
However...left wing feminism is just as crazy, because they deny the basic fact that the young male reptilian brain is attracted to curvy female bodies. And that it is testosterone that governs the process, not entirely choice. Choice comes in regarding how to act on these impulses. Respectfully (for mature men), or disrespectfully (for immature men).
You can label me whatever you want, and call men whatever you want, but you better get into the labs and start engineering new people, because men are going to chase women that are more abundantly endowed...
...as surely as women are going to chase men with larger bank accounts!
And let's not pretend that women by the thousands aren't paying to enhance their bodies so that they can connect up with those types of men!
14
Why are women athletes dressed in outfits that make them look like burlesque hall ladies? Why do the tennis players, ice skaters, gymnasts and field and track women have to wear outfits that show more skin than most belly dancers? Why complain abut "oversexualization of girls," when it seems that women's sports is only about their sex.
7
Stop. Just stop. I am in awe of the hard work that was done by athletes to perfect their anatomies and how they perform so exquisitely. There is nothing sexual about that. Puritans should not twist something artistic and beautiful into something that is risqué. What they have accomplished awes, inspires and shames those of us that live at the opposite end of that spectrum. Be inspired and motivated by them instead.
20
It’s not that women who are “objectified” are offended; rather it is the offense taken at the objectification of another woman (or man). This can be rooted in jealousy or fear. It’s a product of thousands of years of Christian tradition that we must somehow “overcome” our sex drive. That’s worked out really well, with 8 billion humans. Obviously we are a highly sexualized species, so stories like this are reliable as tabloid journalism.
“Oversexualizing Female Athletes is Dangerous.” Is that so? What on earth shall we do?
It’s such an impenetrably nonsensical statement that it would take more space to list the logical problems with it than the NYT has allotted for comments. But, I bit!
3
Racist, sexist, misogynistic. Plain and simple. I’m outraged.
2
Not only do clothes fit differently, they aren't sized to fit you at all. You often choose between a shirt that fits your chest properly but is too big everywhere else, especially your shoulders, or a shirt that fits most of you correctly but is a bit tighter across the chest than you might prefer. The same goes for how clothes fit hips and buttocks; I haven't owned a pair of pants that isn't too big in the waist for two decades.
11
It is a colored issue, but being a white girl with booty means women of color hate you because you are the threat. White women think you are fat and weird, while yes you are still objectified because of the way you look. Sometimes you have to ignore the elephant in the room to talk about the room, thank you for doing that by removing racial basis. From a white woman with an unfortunate but fortunate hip to waist ratio.
1
I was excited when I saw the subtitle of Amanda MacLean's opinion piece "The Obscenity of Curves." (Oversexualizing female athletes is dangerous.) My focus is different but related to hers. I'm troubled--no, that's too weak-- I'm outraged about the sports gear women athletes wear. It seems specially designed to negate their athletic achievements. Let's look at a few examples.
In gymnastics, the difference between men's and women's apparel is stunning. The men look comfortable in their gymnastic wear and are sufficiently covered. Why oh why are the women (often young teenagers) showing so much leg that their buttocks are almost completely exposed? There can be no possible gymnastics related reason for it. If this is not oversexualizing these athletes, I don't know what is.
(Interestingly, there seems to be much more TV coverage of women's than men's gymnastic events.)
Why do women runners have bare mid-rifts when males (sprinters especially) wear one piece body suits? Track and field female athletes have similar flesh-exposing gear.
Possibly the only reason beach volley ball exists is to see women running around in skimpy bikinis.
I've also noticed that many women athletes wear make-up that belongs to a night club, not a demanding athletic event.
It seems as though an athletic event for women is as much about their looks as their athletic prowess. Am I going to look ugly when I cross the finish line in record time?
For men, it's only about their skill in the sport.
28
Why does the headline read "Oversexualizing"? Shouldn't it be "Sexualizing"? I hope I am correct in believing there is no acceptable level of sexualization of athletes of any gender.
20
It must be something about The Times's readership that can turn a dispute between two females over a swimsuit into a fable about the male gaze.
9
Her "cross to bear"! Wow.
4
It's not about "curvier" body types; it's all body types. You can't win if you're a woman, and if you think what you've experienced is bad, wait until you get older. Saggy boobs are looked at with revulsion. Unless you want to wear a padded bra all the time, the other option is layers of baggy clothing. And if you do that, and have the temerity to also wear no makeup, you're mistaken for a man. Call it what it is--misogyny. If we lived in a man-free world, none of this would happen.
14
Please, no fighting in the war room!
2
Even though I’m well into my Senior years, one of the things that stands out from high school is both boys and men “accidentally “ touching my well-endowed breasts. I really don’t know how you ever put something like that behind you.
13
I can very much relate. Women like us, although seemingly becoming more accepted are still seen as not the norm and therefore targeted. It's a shame that sports like volleyball and swimming incorporate uniforms that are immodest. A lower cut leg on swimwear or a full cover looser t shirt and longer shorts in volleyball wouldn't impede movement and would place more focus on the actual game and not on the women's bodies. I understand the pride that athletes take in their strong bodies, but when they pose nude they do risk sexualizing sports. I am very conflicted on this issue. In Europe almost every woman of every body type and age is on the beach with buttocks hanging out, in America we're much more conservative especially when our bodies are deemed imperfect. I guess in Europe they wouldn't have even noticed this young athlete's behind hanging out. It's all societal perception and in America we're generally prudes.
6
PLEASE, let us change the leotards that female gymnasts wear. There is no reason for it and has been allowed to become overtly sexual as the cut of the leotard has become higher into the groin and up the hip. Don't give me any excuses here- the men do just fine in their shorts.
25
Just change to bike short suits when you do sport women. It's win-win-win-win. Save teenage girls from dying from embarrassment. Deny pervs.
10
I'm frequently surprised at how our Puritan heritage can crop up in strange -- and ridiculous -- ways. In this case, a young lady was disqualified after winning a contest because, according to one news story, "her butt cheeks were touching each other." They usually do, but apparently it's not allowed if they're visible.
The idea that certain parts of the body are "obscene" is one of the more preposterous concepts that religious puritanism has foisted upon our society. Well, the idea that sex is inherently sinful is up at the top of the list, too, but this case just deals with the improper exposure of a few square inches of skin. I fail to see what the accidental displacement of a garment which apparently did not fit properly has to do with her swimming prowess. Had her team provided her with a suit that fit properly, all this brouhaha could have been avoided. Had the people who wrote the rules of dress been reasonably intelligent, and not mired in prudish foolishness, all this brouhaha could have been avoided.
Many other alternatives could have avoided all the foolishness, but, in my opinion, the root cause of this incident is the unrelenting hold that puritanism still has on our society. Unfortunately, there are also other factors just as regressive in our culture. Education, reason, and the ability to think critically are needed, not only to exorcise those remnants, but to keep our society on the road to someday being truly civilized.
59
This entire situation is ridicules, whether high school, or the Olympics, the cat walk, on the job, or boot camp, these things happen and we all learn to clear a wedgie. Though what disturbs me more is the opinions expressed by the author and many of the commenters.
There is no monolithic woman, nor man, we come in many colors, shapes, sizes, and temperaments. The thing with this essay is that the author, Ms. MacLean is right about the high school swim contest, but wrong in her assumptions about her fellow women, men or just humans. Time both women and men grow up and own their behavior.
I have wondered why male track & field and gymnastics athletes compete in gym shorts, and females compete in their underwear. Skinny bodies or curvy, why do women athletes need to expose so much their bodies? There can't be a competitive advantage, or men would do the same.
And to all women; if you want men to think about your bodies less, ease up on the spandex leggings. Or, if you're going to make a point about your body, don't complain about the attention.
Thanks for letting me vent on these two points.
13
Yet the woke left sees no problem, in fact celebrates, in the overt sexualization of 8 and 9 year old boys dressing in drag and parading in front of older men.
I'm not sure why any woman makes herself attractive any longer....why shave, wear dresses, use makeup if you don't want to make yourself attractive to the opposite sex? I read where one woman was complimented on her nice legs by a man and she felt 'mini raped'. Women, why bother?
7
Perhaps you could forward a copy of this article to Sports Illustrated.
5
This really shouldn’t be that complicated: Be you man, woman, or child, parts of your body ( buttocks, belly, etc) should not be herniating out from under your clothing.
I understand that this can be difficult for the relatively few people out there who are extremely obese. But for all of us other Americans who fall somewhere on the thin-to-obese spectrum, there is clothing ( including athletic wear) out there for each and every one of us! Let’s avail ourselves!
1
I don't know how anyone is supposed to have sex if at some point we don't sexualize each other.
3
In a nation of 350 million there are always idiots whose decisions beggar belief. Many of them. The Alaska story was offensive, ridiculous, and rightly met with near universal scorn. Beyond that what is there to say? Eros, Love, and Death rule the world. Embrace it, honor it, celebrate and respect it.
3
Now please write a piece on the sexualualization of women who report news and do commentary on TV. I see women in tight fitting knit dresses showing cleavage, and I’m supposed to take them seriously?
9
Many Americans are obsessed or better scared to death by sex. Hence breastfeeding mothers or a young swimmer who fills her swimsuit differently can be judged obscene. Europeans are a lot less paranoid about sex and not necessarily afraid of the female body.
Recently, Italian world champion swimmer Federica Pellegrini wore a very high cut swimsuit revealing her buttocks during a competition. Many female European swimmers occasionally wear similar suits and nobody gets upset.
2
The solution is simple. Just do like they do on episodes of Survivor when people are wrestling in the water and a body part flops out - you have editing blur it out in post production and the heartland will approve. Problem solved!
All joking aside let's not forget that the world is full of Jeffrey Epstein's. Let us not be in a rush to doll our kids up to look like sexy little creatures.
2
Swimsuits and women - where does your mind go when you hear those words together? I immediately thought "beauty pageant" followed by "Sports Illustrated" as in their "swimsuit" issue. It's kind of like being surprised that a white male comedian would be racist, misogynistic, xenophobic and homophobic.
2
Please explain to me why female beach volleyball particpants play the game in the tiniest 2 piece suits. I swear those things must be made of carbon fiber threads to stay put during a game. No sun protection, can't be more comfortable than a pair of board shorts like the men wear.
So why the tiny outfits? To show off their physiques? To gain endorsements?
Like Sophie K says, can't have it both ways.
OTOH, these officials were wrong to single this girl out. Perhaps the entire team should wear less revealing outfits....
1
Finally this article is written. I grew up in Asia, women wear modest clothes, to wear loose clothes so skin can breath and you can stand and sit however heck you want. Wearing fitting clothes causes women to be constantly conscious of their bodies. For one, that is wrong, they should be foccused on other aspects of their life. And for generations these swim costumes and sports wear cuts are getting deeper. did athletes not perform when these costumes were modestly designed? these brands need to stop making everything look sexy. Women dont want sexy. They dont care! They want to progress and achieve.
6
perhaps if MERICANS went to I don't know art museums, or oven open a book and saw all those naked people painted for thousands of years, they'd get over this need to dominate and fetishizes women's bodies, black hair, etc. Lord, it's like living with Neanderthals here.
3
I am so sick and tired of women being blamed for the reactions men have to our bodies. If you cannot control your sexual impulses when you see a woman, perhaps you should just stay home.
14
And here you are, undermining an otherwise worthy article with a photograph of women's legs - enticingly crossed over each other.
This is "oversexualizing" in itself. What were you thinking?
8
I consider the issue more of how the coach was demonizing the young swimmer. It must be examined as to how this referee was in this position in the first place, as she did not notify the coach beforehand of what she thought of as being an infraction. Instead of properly voicing her concerns about a possible violation, she immediately was so exasperated and overcome by the sight of natural buttocks, that it led to a rash and awful personal decision. I believe it originates from the problems that the referee herself has with any element of surprise when it is delivered in the form of the human body. You should not be in sports if you are looking at the wrong part of what an athlete's body is doing, and if you are not familiar with the fact that all swimmers were wearing the same suit, then you are a feeble ref with weird body hang-ups.
Yes, curvy women get more "glares" but I don't think that this is as much of the issue as having inefficient people making powerful decisions.
2
The "sport" of beach volley deliberately objectifies women. Thank you.
8
Illustrated with picture of barely covered crotches--you;re kidding, right?
3
Women’s volleyball shorts perplex me along with Serena William’s infamous catsuit. Both command judgment in the worst way.
4
Oh I forgot. Lest we forget, the standard swimsuit for men is a Speedo, AKA banana hammock. ('nuff said) It's the bane of South Florida, especially Hollywood, where pot bellied European and Quebecois men strut around the beach in them. Disgustipating!
2
The Alaska fools who did this: put their names and swimsuit attired photos in the paper. Shameful behavior on their part. Great piece. Thank you.
1
What was her finishing time for the race?
3
The psychiatrist drew a square and asked,”What does that remind you of?”
“Sex,” the patient said.
Then the doctor drew a circle and asked,”What does that remind you of?”
“Sex,” the patient said.
“You seem to have a dirty mind,” said the doctor.
“What do you mean? You’re the one drawing the dirty pictures,” the patient said.
Seems to me that the judges should be disqualified for being inappropriate.
7
Foolish me - When I saw the title of this opinion piece, I thought, "Aha! At last someone will be calling out the blatantly over sexualized competition uniforms or whatever those ever more abbreviated competition bikinis may be called which have become the norm among women beach volley ball and track competitors. However, now I must slink away in shame for over sexualizing my impressions of the same and criticizing what I now infer must be regarded as the blamelessness of those women (their coaches, clubs, teams and, ostensibly, parental overseers) who would find my questioning sexist and demeaning.
3
It won't happen anytime soon -- attractive is just that -- and apparently different stokes for different folks. Appreciating your own body is another thing. There is such a thing as healthy.
Watching a biopic about the designer Valentino was amazed to learn that dresses are made for, designed on the nearly naked models (they wear thongs and are not too busty nor round -- as in the movies.) Is this industry practice?
I remember the horrible cotton knit swim suits we wore 55 years ago for swin class in college. Everything gapped and they were uncomfortable. I guess this young woman has an ample derriere and the regulation swimsuit did not fit her properly! (Did the judge think she had purposely taken a size smaller swim suit -- like girls roll up the waistbands on their regulation length school uniform skirts so their legs can be seen when they leave school?? My thought is perhaps no swimming suit fit this young lady properly and she did the best she could. The judge is the one with the problem -- unable to control impulses or jealousy!)
4
The way our society is afraid of women's flesh causes harm to girls - eating disorders, a lifetime of body dysmorphia. All my life as a 5 ft 9, strong, curvy size 12-14 girl/woman I was made to feel like a cow - a fat, shameful object. Clothes didn't fit - still don't, as they're generally designed for girls with no hips or behind. Don't be strong, don't be hippy - don't be a woman. Stay a child. If not, we're made to feel abnormal, wrong. The vast majority of us don't make muscle like men, no matter how we work out. Yeah, most of us have hips - that's how you get born alive. Why is a man's hipless, hard physique held up as the norm? Yeah... Just as medical studies have been historically performed only for white men, not black folk or women. Just as western 'standards of beauty' prize pale, skinny, forever-young, boyish-built women leaving out most. What about women who aren't white? Where's the Andean or Inuit woman shown as average? Thank goodness we're seeing more Black women in the media, slowly. Yet, why must we be be seen as beautiful anyway? 'Cause beauty discrimination IS a thing. We've not even started to think about it. If you're beautiful according to 'the standards,' you get treated a certain way and if you are not, a less pleasant way! This makes pain for us women! Why do you keep despising and demonizing our healthy flesh, America? When will the torture stop? When will you stop using our bodies to sell things? When will women get to own ourselves and feel free?
6
She was a girl wearing the team swimsuit. Not Kim Kardashian trying to monatize her looks. Adults should know the difference. Body shaming a young girl because of her body is beyond insensitive. I would have been mortified as a grown woman to hace this hapoen let alone a young girl not fully into her own identity. The judges should have known better. And should be fired.
7
That entire story was click-bait with people, mostly men, hoping to see a photo of a teenage girl spilling out of her swimsuit. It remains so.
2
Is there a difference between being "sexualized" and "oversexualized", such that being sexualized is OK and there's a line somewhere that gets crossed into being oversexualized and that's not OK? Why not just say sexualized? Minor point, but it bugs me......
5
Why can't girls wear jammers like the boys - no more suit wedgies.
1
As you said, the damage has been done. This strong successful athlete we can predict is thinking about this, and will be thinking about this, daily.
I don’t understand why there are so many people willing to hurt others, in such a variety of ways. How did none of these adults not see their sexism, racism, or rather why did they want so badly to rain on her parade??? Are they just stupid, threatened, mean little people? What is wrong with people??
Can’t we all just look out for each other, care about each other, love each other?
1
I am wondering if anyone can answer my question about competitive swimsuit regulations: I am under the impression that wearing the swimsuit in a way that modifies the fit to form a “wedgie” is actually deemed an illegal speed advantage? So the judge’s objection was based on that technicality, not on how it looked esthetically? Perhaps someone involved in this sport can shed some light.
1
"bringing with it the crippling awareness of the way those emergent curves shaped the way I was perceived"
Many women would kill to have that type of perception.
Some people have "the look". They get lots of attention from the opposite sex. Others don't. For those that have it, it confers a great advantage, and it invites jealousy. There's nothing sexist about the look itself, although others' reaction to it can be quite sexist.
A waist that is visibly smaller than the hips is a primary sexual attractant for women or any size or body type. You don't have to invite attention, it just comes. Some other women will be jealous, and some men will act badly because they want something that they can't have.
I'm not saying that's how things ought to be, but that is how things are (IMHO). Regardless of all this, people should behave themselves.
2
We continue to speak only of female modesty. What about males and their speedos, those leave nothing to the imagination! Perhaps male swimmers should go back to wearing baggy trunks?
4
Truer words were never spoken. And usually never believed when they were. Being curvy is a curse.
3
People who are concerned with covering women's bodies do so because they are not in control of their own sexual urges, or trying to protect men who also can't control their own sexual urges. It is the men who have the problem, not the women. Women should be free to wear (or not) whatever they choose. It is perfectly fine to expect men to be able to control their reactions to nudity. Nudity is not a big deal. Somehow Christian extremists have decided their sinfulness is something the rest of us have to change our behavior for. Just like the Muslim extremists.
797
@Paul S
No, I'm a woman and believe that people should address appropriately for the situation. In a business or school classroom setting, it's distracting for men AND women to see people of either gender dressed in clothes that are too tight or revealing. High school dress codes usually fall harder on girls because girls from an early age are socialized to dress in a self-objectifying manner.
What is important is that the dress code be fair, clear, and be gender-neutral.
And if you want to be nude, do it at home or at a nudist's beach.
116
@Lifelong Reader
I agree with Lifelong Reader. Apparel should be appropriate to the activity. Sports apparel should be gender-neutral.
59
@Lifelong ReaderThe common theme with many of the reactions to the article is that girls and women should be able to dress any way they want to and that no one has the 'right' to judge. This truly is a 'me' concept within our society. The individuals are there to compete with each and not to wear standardized attire that needlessly exposes the body. The description of 'curvy' body by both females and males sexualizes girls and women and is not appropriate for a serious competition as this.
Furthermore, this is an excuse for inappropriate display of ones' body within a public forum and allowing this is sending a negative message to the world of sports. If this was a male swimmer he would clearly be ridiculed for exposing his body and he would likely be set aside before a competition. In all fairness to this athlete she should had been told to wear a swim suit that was appropriate for her body before the competition.
6
I’d like to see retired alpine skiing champ and Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue model Lindsey Vonn’s take on this. She blithely flaunts her sexuality and seems none the worse for wear.
1
It seems the problem was the official, Jill Blackstone. It appears she had some grudge against Willis.
"ASD also seeks decertification of swimming official Jill Blackstone. ASAA Executive Director said the district believes Blackstone has targeted Willis and her sister, a fellow teammate, in a pattern unfair enforcement over the past year."
https://www.ktuu.com/content/news/ASD-reverses-Dimond-Swimmer-Disqualification-559987411.html
Ms. MacLean fairly touches a nerve when examining the psychological effect upon women of the “male gaze”. No decent, caring man would wish harm upon a woman through his actions. I’d conjecture that human males are subconsciously programmed to scan for and to notice females, even if in the male conscious minds there is no particular interest in those females as sexual objects. Ask a man to recall a woman he has met, he is likely to recall her facial features and body type. And he may categorize men the same way, but for different reasons probably related to male hierarchy. To some extent to categorize male visual assessment of females as perjorative “leering” is to attack part of the essential nature of men. There are leerers out there for sure, and their behaviour is detestable, but most men deserve to be categorized in more neutral terms. Is it just an inconvenient truth that if a woman appears before men in revealing dress or undress, her body will be noticed and categorized by the men who see her? And thoughtful women must choose to act accordingly? Rules and customs favouring modest clothing may be grounded in common sense given the role visual stimulus plays in instinctual human sexuality.
2
The Times is telling me this morning that I have to be informed about the lead problem in Paris and now this.
It's really getting to be too much.
1
Every woman in the world has felt this judgement and need for vigilance- it is not specifically curve affiliated.
This is life as a fertile woman.
Think about it- most animals go into heat and are gang raped yearly.
Human women are constantly fertile for 30 years! Human women also walk upright with all of our sexual areas on full display- available for rape for the majority of life.
It is a struggle for all.
2
Is there a right amount of sexualizing of female athletes?
5
I ought to be able to leave my keys in my unlocked car, because people shouldn't be stealing.
Howevrer, I'd be a fool to ignore how people actually behave.
I ought to be able to wear in public whatever I want, because people shouldn't be ogling or commenting or judging.
However...
1
My grandfather used to say, "The day you stopped looking is the day you die." It is a most human, and natural, fact that humans will look at the make or female sex they are attracted too... But certainly, there is an important difference between looking and staring. If anyone says adolescence was easy, they are lying.... But avoiding changes your body makes is not an option.
The op ed was odd, because the swimsuit issue was not separated from the authors continuing struggle with her own body image. The outfits that came to mind to me are the tiny ones Olympic beach volleyball players wear.... It is unfair to not expect others not to, uh, notice.
I'm a guy with, well, curves in certain places. Actually, just in one place. My response has always been to wear looser pants than I might otherwise want to wear. I'm not sure it's simply a matter of people over-sexualizing men!
There will come a day when you can eve take your clothes off when you dance. La,la,la,la,la. Zappa
I've been a competitive swimmer and Ironman triathlete for more than 50 years. I still do races that have lots of female athletes such as the Waikiki Roughwater Swim or the Kona Ironman. Once the gun goes off, nobody is leering at anyone. We're all there for one reason and it isn't to stare at bottoms.
Many (but not all !) males still make these judgements as to how women should appear or behave, or touch their bodies:-(
Women and men should not feel like criminals for having sexual interest and expressing it mildly. People who have traveled abroad - Europe included - know that white Americans have the hardest time dealing with sexuality.
2
The judges are only telling us about themselves and nothing about the young woman. One of many words that describes them is "vile".
2
I'm glad that this unfair ruling was reversed. I hope the next announce will be that swimming official Jill Blackstone has been decertified and fired. The reports were that she was targeting both Breckynn Willis and her sister for about a year. A woman like that shouldn't be working in school sports!
https://www.ktuu.com/content/news/ASD-reverses-Dimond-Swimmer-Disqualification-559987411.html
2
Oversexualize? Is there an acceptable scale? Whats over the top and whats the bottom look like? Is that even a real word? To sexualize to me means one thing...and there is nothing that is OVER. Its usually in a wrong sense. She, or he was sexualized is rarely...no...its never good. I cant think of how its a positive way to describe an approach to females or males, of any age.
Is there a thing called overracializing? Is that what Trump does, and why its so upsetting, he's taken it too far? We'd rather he take it down to simply racializing others and situations...like the majority of the population?
I'm mostly bumfuzzled by much of this essay. And no mention of the racial aspects, makes me more so.
Im a sport junkie, and long-suffering athlete wanting greater glory, but never having the skills, lack of injuries, or enough time. Been in gymnasiums, swimming centers, on track and fields around both sexes since I was a kid...and Ive seen a lot of bodies - before and after competitions, and yes, the outfits do creep into the less desirable places. And none of its sexy. That these judges went down that route with this young athlete showed their bias. Be it towards fuller built females, and/or race.
Have any of these swim judges been to a male swim meet? Uh...those guys are near naked! Those suits are skimpier then anything any female swimmers put on. They show the details of the male anatomy like few things ever sewn. I guess judges see nothing sexy and therefore bad there.
2
Firstly, the winner of the Dimond High School Broken Willis was treated unfairly and discriminated when her swimming uniform showed too much of her body. It is her inherited genes that makes her stand out in her physique. I am glad the school finally corrected their error in judgement and racial prejudice.
However, there is oversexualizing of women for a long time in every corner of our society, e.g. Hollywood, our fashion advertising industry, and in medical cosmetic industry that offers body sculpting, breast, buttock and lip enhancing,. Male fashion are also changing. A black man with a muscular body was shown in a page in last Sunday's NYT fashion magazine advertising Calvin Kline under shorts for men. The model was facing the camera one hand pulling off the top of the underwear in one pose, the other he has his hand over his "xxx".
American society has gone from being prudish to over sexualizing our bodies. In crowded situations, particularly on airplanes where passengers are squeezed tightly together for hours, when a female passensger is dressed scantily in short shorts and in a bare shoulders top partially revealing her breasts, or in a skin tight stretched leggings, a male passenger next to her will mostly likely be made uncomfortable; and vise versa for a female passenger should the man be clothed scantily in gym outfits.
Freedom works only when we embrace a common sense of decency towards each other.
1
Nudity, "nudism," is the compromise solution.
I refuse to watch women's beach volleyball; shorts & a t-shirt, appropriate for the men, should apply to women as well. Also, the shorts designed for women should have a better way to put the next ball to be used, not as is now being done. Fashion statements are not for athletic events, understanding well that endorsements paid to athletes for attire & equipment used is a source of revenue. How much more money does Serena, Roger & Raffa need...?
1
Beautiful women are just that, beautiful. It’s a shame that society judges a woman’s anatomy differently than a man’s. A adolescent man who is endowed in a competitive swim suit is deemed athletic. A woman with an equal physique is a harlot. Same on all of us.
1
Girls and women, athletes and otherwise, mostly sexualize themselves. Check out the Williams sisters tennis outfits compared to those of similarly ranked men, or the costumes of female vs male gymnasts. Wear what you want, but realize that it will affect how you are perceived, and if you do not want to be sexualized, then don't wear clothing associated with sexual display.
1
I can completely relate. I had very large breasts and beginning in middle school I was taunted by both boys and girls. I swam on the women's swim team in college and wore two or three suits at a time just to compress my breasts and make them less noticeable. As the writer suggests, getting dressed each day, deciding what to wear, what not to wear, and finding clothes that will not emphasize my breasts for fear of obtaining unwanted attention, produced constant anxiety and hatred of my body. I could go on and on. This issue brings great sadness that so many women and girls face everyday.
5
We have been on the planet for a long time. And yet we still allow children and teens to feel they are ugly and malformed.
These assessments really mess up kid's lives.
Some parents also teach their young that when not successful, to look for anything , no matter how inane or irrelevant to pull down and preferably humiliate your peers.
Adult minds are in shorter supply. Maybe they always have been. Maybe they always will be.
5
I can't help but wonder how the rules judge boys in their super tiny Speedo competition suits.
2
I am the aunt of three wonderful nieces, and the youngest one has a super curvy body.
She wears the same kind of clothes her sisters do - but she looks different.
I struggle with how this makes me feel.
I notice how people stare at her in public.
I worry about her posting glamour itsy bitsy teenie weenie bikini photos on Instagram.
It's hard for me not to stare when she wears certain outfits.
I am conflicted about this topic, but grateful for Amanda MacLean's perspective about what it is like to be the young PERSON walking around in that curvy body.
I love my niece and want to do right by her.
5
Great article. Thank you.
2
These kind of decisions about the fit of swimsuits and modesty tell us more about the male judges and the male writers of the rules, than it tells us about the athletes. Every male coach who interprets the rules adversely against a girl or woman, should be ashamed that they let their hormones control them.
1
Tattoos are IMO an effort to get attention away from bodies, body shapes and body parts. It's a good strategy. It works!! And some tattoo art is fantastic.
BTW, I wonder what the writer's reaction is to the lascivious/provacative photo used to illustrate this story. I'd like to see the reaction in the swimming pool if I tried to take this picture. Maybe if we stopped selling/writing/showing sexiness (the headline too) this would become less of a problem for young women.
4
It is ironic that being endowed with the appurtenances of desirability is viewed by some as undesirable. I think jealousy may explain some of the anger that seems present in those who condemn these poor girls and women. The Botox industry is thriving as many women seem to want to be curvier.
I am shocked to learn from Amanda MacLean that her curviness has been so negative for her. When I see these women I am filled with admiration and I am heart-broken to learn that they have been robbed of the pride that is due them.
1
This wasn't about sexuality, it was about racism.
2
I'm not sure this was only about the young lady's "curviness". If you see her pic its obvious that she's bi/multiracial girl living in a majority white area. Most non white women are naturally more curvy than white women, so I"m seriously wondering if her ethnicity played a part in her being disqualified. If a curvy white girl, in a majority white area had won would she also have been disqualified? Before we make this a body shaming issue, someone should look into the background of the judge. This could easily be racially motivated, with the judge using any excuse that was available.
Wow, to hate your body because it’s too desirable? From the opposite side of the fence let me just express my deepest condolences. Sigh, what more does the world want from me?
3
I can imagine the discussion: "We can't define inappropriate swimsuits for girls,but we know them when we see them." Sound familiar? How devastating for that young adult. The constant pressure to look a certain way,and if you happened to achieve it,you're condemned for that? As a 17 year old in high school, guys would walk around with their shirts off after lifting weights for a few weeks--"peacocking" their physical "prowess". They're allowed to be proud of their body--but not the girls.
4
Does this mean there's no more nude photos of Hope Solo or Carli Lloyd? They got paid for that, right?
The disqualifying official should never officiate anything again.
1
I saw the Movie Magdalene Sisters, one of the girls was put away as an inmate of a Magdalene Sisters Asylum school. A school for "Bad Girls" and called a sinner because she was raped by a cousin and was thus was SHE was the real sinner because she was so pretty and a "Temptation" to men. If you believe in God then you would think He made her beautiful.
What a travesty.
Ms. MacLean I have two daughters and I can understand your feelings as my older daughter's body matured much sooner than she was ready for, but I don't believe a majority of women understand or they wouldn't have voted Trump into office and this I do not understand. Our society has been pushing sexuality ever since there has been advertisements. The 1960's brought the sexual revolution whether you were ready for it or not. There will always be pigs and prudes in this world just be thankful you're healthy and hang in there.
Sorry, writer, I was totally with you until you got to “burden you with their gaze.” I feel I should be able to walk through the world and gaze where I please; I refuse to grant you the right to rope off parts of my visual environment and say, “Hey, no looking.” I'm an older guy whose eyesight isn't so great, so if I'm exceeding your internal gaze threshold, it's probably just because I'm wondering if my glasses need cleaning or trying to remember where I put my car keys. I'm totally aligned with coming down hard on people who commit actual offenses against actual women, such as the swimmer, but don't expect me to censor my eyes for you.
1
PC culture is becoming the Moral Majority of this decade. Remember them? Is the Scarlet R next? Witch hunts against immorality were not fun when they came from the right. Now it's coming from the left. Let's all lighten up.
1
The issue of harrassing young women over body shape is serious. But this article takes the reader into a zone far from the facts.
There is nothing in the case of Ms Breckyn Willis being disqualified that has anything to do with “oversexualizing female athletes” or “obscenity of curves”as the headline states.
Internet photos of her clothed in street clothes show her to have a shape entirely normal for a teenager. But she also happens to be the best female swimmer of her age in Anchorage and prior to the swim meet, a local adult had taken photos of her in swim suit, circulated them on the internet and accused her of being “immoral.”
Ms Breckyn was wearing a standard-issued swim suit. What happened is Ms Willis developed the “wedgie” during the race she won. Any man or woman knows that swimsuits can bulge in the wrong places as a result of athletic activity. When she got out of the water, she was disqualified by a female referee name Jill Blackstone. Willis’ younger sister and also a competitive swimmer, was publicly criticized by the same Blackstone about the fit of her swimsuit during the 2018-19 school year. who several weeks before had targeted.
Local media coverage strongly suggests that Breckynn was being targeted to demoralize her and remove her from competition, using the excuse of “immorality,” Local media also stated she was of 'mixed race' but have politely declined to state what races are involved. The issues are not only 'body shape.'
1
Oh boy. Let's find another way to claim victimhood and cast men as evil.
Where's is a story on women's discrimination on men's physical appearance, specially when it comes to height.
1
I’m shocked by the number of comments here (many from men) about the unavoidability of the male gaze. This is an article about a CHILD and so many of the responses are “whaddya gonna do? Men just can’t stop thinking about sex!” How is an article about bias against nonwhite girls being seen as an opportunity to justify male behavior with unsourced generalizations about “biology” and “evolution”??
And, while I’m at it: might the seemingly unavoidable male penchant for oversexualization have as much to our collective need to explain it away as it has to do with “biology”?
5
Stop demeaning female attractiveness. Or pretending it doesn't exist. If women dress sexily, Let It Be, as Paul McCartney said. Control the leering (and its sordid consequences), not the hotness. Good-looking women are a clear addition to a better world.
2
If sex was dealt with in a honest and healthy manner, they would not such obsession with curves.
This article seems to have come straight out of a time warp. "Oversexualizing" female athletes? In an era when the real controversy is about testosterone testing and transgender athletes dominating women's sports?
1
You are paranoid, assuming or projecting evil thoughts into others that are not necessarily there. Unplug yourself from social media and other forms of popular culture and think your own thoughts and leave other people to think their own thoughts. Above all, don’t assume you know what random people on the street are thinking.
3
It is so wrong to punish a girl or boy for their body. Americans have many obsessions on body image and skin. In Europe, it seems that swimmers, volleyball, water polo and other swimsuit sports offer much less coverage to curves of both sexes. G_d forbid men should show their masculine forms. Have you noticed how long men's shorts in basketball have become? They ain't Wilt Chamberlin's shorts.
If you make money via fashion and over sexualizing girls, you never get over the stigma.
I found this intriguing "I recognize that look from being a 12-year-old getting leered at by grown men, and I’m familiar with it from being given the cold shoulder by other women, deemed a lurid distraction to their boyfriends or their sons. "
This is a very deep and telling statement. If the look was from a person that was in your age cohort would it be as "bad?"
Distractions about sexuality is something that will always be with us as long as we reproduce the way we do.
I think this writer needs to have a word with all the idols teen/young adult and adult women diligently follow such as Nicky Minaj, Beyonce, Ariana Grande and Cardi B.
Overt and hyper-sexualized imagery of female body is the currency all these supposedly feminist and progressive female icons peddle in.
The central premise of your thesis has no basis in real life.
Either that or the current crop of female icons are hypocrites of the highest order.
2
My son is a competitive swimmer and for important meets wears a “tech suit” that compresses his skin. It is knee length and his preferred size is 3” smaller than his actual waist size. It takes awhile to get into. Because he has nearly zero body fat the effect is not obvious, and it actually streamlines his crotch area as well. Some women on his team also use similar suits, full body of course, some knee length and some mid thigh, for the performance value, and it is commonly accepted that is does improve performance. For slender girls the visual effect is not so different from standard suits, and because of the cut there is no exposed skin around the rear as with a typical bikini cut. For curvier girls, it looks painful, but despite accentuating what some may consider being extra body fat around the knees and shouldnobody makes a big deal of it - it’s all about the competition.
On the other hand, I watched some professional beach volleyball, and it seems, while men wear mostly loose shorts, the women typically wear teeny bikinis. They are adults and no doubt proud of their physiques, but to my eye, playing and diving to the sand in a g string seems like it would be uncomfortable, at least, and painful on a sweaty day, covered everywhere with sand. My question, as in high school indoor volleyball, where the very short pants for girls is the norm, is why that fashion is used when there is no obvious competitive advantage? Unless it is to draw a better crowd?
It's never enough or it's always too much.
Well, I've noticed that female athletes are expected to wear skimpier clothes than male athletes. Maybe it's time to treat female and male athletes equally in terms of what they're expected to wear.
In the book, "The Olympics and Philosophy", the author states:
"[W]e need to question the double standard of what's appropriate for uniform bottoms for males vs females in the sport."
1
Fuss over swimsuits is silly unless there is some sensible rule (e.g. about assistive fabrics) that was not followed. They can swim naked as far as I'm concerned if that's within the rules. In Europe (top) half-naked is normal on the beach in any case.
I do hope, however, that Peter Paul Rubens doesn't become labeled as just another ogling pervert as a result of all this.
The priorities of whats deemed a problem in cultures of extreme filthy wealth magnifies the almost unimaginable narcissism that this exclusive life brings.
Back in the Woodstock years (around 1968) women's liberation and emancipation also meant total freedom to do whatever they wanted with their own bodies. Who hasn't seen the black and white pictures of young women happily dancing and partying completely naked at rock concerts in the late 60s and 70s? Of course men were looking at the attractive female bodies, back in the 60s male biology wasn't any different from today.
The big difference is that today it the "me too" movement and all that has come with it has moved the needle too far to the other side, generating a form of toxic neo-puritanism by which any hint that a man might find a female body attractive has to be stomped out, stigmatized, chastised and vilified. The "me too" generation need to realize that this obsessive negation of sexuality is going to regress women's lib back to the 1950s, which is where bigoted puritan conservatives would love to force us back to.
There needs to be a balance between women justly pushing back against abusive male behavior a la Weinstein, and going all "burqa" on us. Body-shaming and pointless prudery won't do anything to advance the cause of women's equality.
32
@Andy:" Who hasn't seen the black and white pictures of young women happily dancing and partying completely naked at rock concerts in the late 60s and 70s?"
Yeah, the world has seen the pictures of those same 200 women.
As a scientist and a male, I looked into this once. I seem to remember the hourglass body shape is is substantially more fertile than other body shapes, thus the male interest and subsequent female jealousy.
On the flip side, I tried an experiment once, after having poor luck with dating sites. I tried everything: witty, long and revealing, short and sweet, chatty, funny, serious. Then, on a hunch, started a profile on a service I hadn't used. I then swapped in another profile, line for line, but added a one to the front of my income (which was already above national average) and said I was the CEO of a small company. Within a day, I'd received seven letters from seven of the most attractive women who used the site.
It's the flip side of the same stone-age coin.
64
What’s your point? Sexualizing teen girls by adults is to be expected oh well?
1
@Andrew
Are you - in this PC era - allow to conduct and then even write about your experiment with pretending to be a CEI and instantly generating such strong response on top of it from attractive females?
Remember: unlike men, women are not calculating, they are only looking for pure love, not money and those who can deliver tons of it.
1
Superfluous feminism loves to pretend men objectify girls, but that women never objectify boys. Give me a break.
1
Regarding the attractiveness that women are to men, consider the way that women present themselves: beautiful long and styled hair, mascara, false eyelashes, eye shadow, lipstick, exposed necklines, long polished nails, dresses expose the ankles and higher, high heels, very colorful fabrics - and this is not a complete inventory. I respect women and they are my friends. But I must say, I have to work hard to pretend not to notice this alluring visual onslaught.
19
@Bill I saved a lot of money because I never bought or used cosmetics, and I have never worn high heels. I spent my money on a good education. My future husband found me despite my spending habits!
8
@Bill--What does this have to do with the article? This athlete was not disqualified for too much make-up; she was disqualified for wearing the regulation team swimsuit, about which she had no choice.
11
I know no woman in real life who regularly wears false eyelashes and only a few that have long painted nails (I guess the rest of us need to do stuff with our hands). On TV I see these things. Sometimes it makes me sad that women in media have to look young and sexy but their male counterparts do not.
4
This article promotes the idea that women "with curves" are - surprise! - victims because they attract unwanted male attention.
But if the attention is unwanted, then why do millions of women get breast enhancements and fly to Mexico to get butt-lifts?
48
@Jack Dancer Because some people are different from others. Some women voted for Trump and some did not. That's not really that hard to understand, I hope.
6
@Jack Dancer I bet most of those skinny girls that are there would trade with the curvy ones anytime, friend. Beautiful women have a great advantage in life and being looked at goes with the territory. Be happy.
2
@Jack Dancer
because it's cheaper !?
2
It is but natural on the part of men to view women in that way in that attire. The gaze should be accepted with respect and dignity.
5
Please with all due respect:
The gaze should be respectful & dignified (regardless of gendering). One is not responsible for accepting the gaze.
27
As women, we can’t have it both ways. We can’t demand that men stop “objectifying” us and then turn around and profit from this objectification, just like every female athlete posing in swimsuits or naked, or any celebrity that is monetizing her hotness is doing.
876
@Sophie K. - that may have truth on its face but I’d argue that men do get to have it both ways. Somehow as a society we’ve learned how to treat men who pose shirtless or in underwear with dignity and respect. If we’re aiming for equality on this front, should we start treating men who appear shirtless with the same level of disdain? Or should we extend the same level of respect to women whom we currently feel are exploiting their own appearances?
280
@Sophie K, Good point, but this young lady wasn't doing that. She was wearing the same uniform as her teammates she wasn't "monetizing" anything.
480
@Sophie K Women know early on that there is so much reward in being physically attractive. The right clothes, the right makeup, the right body type, and staying on trend through whatever cycles in and out. Both men and women reward physical attractiveness in general with more social status, compliments, and whatever monetary rewards that may result. The women who profit from their objectification have decided that it's worth it.
Especially now, many women are framing this form of monetization/objectification through the lens of feminism and body confidence, and just as many are framing it as being against feminism and conforming to societal ideals and pressures.
When people stop inherently rewarding physical attractiveness in general, then we might see change. But that goes against our biology.
85
Hard to believe, but as recently as the early 1960's, in some parts of the country, High School male swimmers competed in the nude.
What causes me the most distress is the man who took pictures of another person's CHILD, and distributed them on the internet for his and his friends' sexual titillation. Why is he not in Federal Prison right now.
2
This is just one way in which females are still viewed as sexual objects in our society. For what reason other than for the sexual pleasure of men do women wear high heel shoes? The time is way past for our society to treat every person as an individual regardless of gender or non binary type.
1
It’s hard to believe something like that would happen in 2019 in The United States. I don’t see how you could hide the body of a swimmer without slowing them down. I know being a sexy curvaceous woman has some drawbacks, it also has some perks. I think most people would choose to be attractive to the opposite sex if given a choice. Plastic surgery is expensive and common for a reason.
file this under "im too sexy for my body"
the author may take some comfort in knowing that her "sexual attractiveness" handicap is temporary and much easier to adjust to than being crippled, blind, deaf, or even just plain ugly.
i say try to parlay that handicap into a benefit and walk on the sunny side of the street, and never ever "gaze" at a person who you find physically different or attractive.
“Oversexualizing female athletes is dangerous.” This is a matter of opinion and circumstances, not hard fact. They are women and you are demanding a massive cultural change that is impossible.
1
The swim meet debacle made me angry This essay makes me livid. Yes, it is just her take. But the writer gets so bogged down in her own body hangups that she loses the thread.
The discrimination that swimmer faced had to do with stupid people adhering too closely to written rules. It points to the need to rewrite those rules. A team swimsuit is a uniform. Swimsuits creep up. It’s a common thing for everyone. If that is seen as a problem, then choose a swimsuit that extends down the thigh. They are more up to date for racing anyway. And extend that rule to the male teams.
Body image is a tricky thing. A 50-ish woman recently told me that she was so well-endowed (she even used the word “perky”) as a young woman that she felt her chest “entered the room before (she) did.” The thing is, I know she has always had an average bust. She just has this image of herself as a bombshell that every man eyed with desire, always (and still). She is just super vain. I’m not arguing that the leering male gaze is not a real thing. I, too, am disgusted when men look at 12-year-old girls in that way. I had my own struggle with being trailed my gross men, even as a skinny girl. Men have always been that way and always will be. It should not affect how we females move through this world.
The body positivity movement has coopted the word “curvy.” It now means heavy. That fit, muscular champion swimmer was not sexualized for her curves. She was body shamed for her size. Get it right.
2
Thank goodness decision was reverted! It’s also interesting to see the double standard when we are ok that boys are bombarded with pornography since they are children and are so surprised when they tend to objectify women’s bodies.
Are there some negatives to being an attractive woman in our culture? Yes. But this is protesting too much.
1
A funny article, which is part of the ongoing project to overthrow common sense and observable reality. Normal men find curves on women appealing, and normal women are glad to have curves if they can.
2
Every woman who has a job in the media where they are seen by consumers of information owes their job to their looks. Not one is unattractive, and they frequently enhanace their sexuality with deep necklines and bare arms, while men are expected to wear suits and generally ties. So women do use their sexuality to get ahead if they are lucky enough to be attractive. Life is unfair. Do you want men to ignore women's looks?. Then we are accused of not being interested in the oppsite sex. Some women will never be satisfied until all 535 members of congress, nine Supreme Court justices and our president are all female.
Why can't industry make competition swimsuits and leotards that don't ride up?
2
America has about 330,000,000 million people, and I’m getting the feeling that 300,000,000 of them feel oppressed. Free the swimmers. Free curved individuals. No oppressed person left behind.
1
Your article brought to mind the character Eula in William Faulkner's "The Hamlet", set in 1930s Mississippi. Her evidently curvy body type played strongly as a factor in her tragic fate from a very early age.
And there is so much more to this. Why are parents sending their young girls to school in, basically no more than leotards? Kids don't need this. teachers don't need this. Part of my job, on the playground, is to watch for lurches who might grab a kid. a little help, here???
1
Excellent article.
Women of all cultures have been discriminated against for their bodies. While men, with over-muscled, oiled bodies have been glorified for posing in the skimpiest of revealing briefs.
I am old enough to remember when miniskirts were use as a defense for rape: "She asked for it. She was wearing a miniskirt."
I support and sincerely hope that the #MeToo movement will help put an end to this sexism and cruel method by men to "control" women.
2
Surely one day we will agree that of all of the serious problems we face in this world, curvy women are not among those.
Has anybody thought the official should be disqualified for viewing the students as sexual beings, "trying to be provocative", while judging athleticism was the job?
Who wants a leering 'official' staring down our children?
1
Your body is your destiny. You can’t fight it. It’s known as biology which deals with facts and not with whatever is PC at the moment.
1
Aren't girls instructed about such things as they get older? Isn't that part of being a human? I recognize that girls who grow up to be pretty and attractive to men can certainly be uncomfortable, even dangerous, but this is nothing new. I have pondered such questions occasionally and wonder why girls are expected to wear form fitting swim suits like those in the photo illustrating the article. Isn't that a bit of dim thinking and complaining about problems you cause yourself? Are parents afraid they will grow up to be tomboy lesbians?
Will the censors even allow me to risk triggering the readership with such provocative questions?
What exactly is the purpose of cleavage? Why do women show cleavage?? What's the point? Why do woman, and girls imitate women, wear high heel stiletto shoes? Is that a cultural holdover of Chinese foot binding?
If you don't want your little girls to grow up to be alluring sexpots before they are actually aware of how they appear to others why do you take them to Disney cartoon movies that teach them such characteristics? I didn't make that up. Parents have been complaining about sexualized Disney movies for decades.
And then there is the structure of society itself. In Germany, for example, people don't seem to notice such things. Bare chested grown women are not unusual. People don't pay attention.
1
Appreciated your column but why oh why repeat the swimmer’s name? I’m completely frustrated at the lack of deference to this young woman’s privacy.
1
How ironic the this article, which is part of an important discussion, is filled with ads for bras and women’s underwear.
Not surprised, this event is not likely to happen in Europe, in the USA issues dealing with sex seem to be 100 years behind Europe, where topless bathing in public beaches is the norm. The body is just that a body, no one give you a second look, unless of course you are a USA tourist
1
How does one find a balance, between loose clothing and tight-skinned one, between one's freedom to wear in revealing style and gaze of others?
1
This article is premised in the idea that people viewed the girl’s swimsuit as “obscene.” This exaggerates the reality. Several observers, likely women, pointed out that the swimsuit violated the dress code. The rules officials on the scene need to enforce the rules. You can’t have a dress code if marginal violations elicit reactionary responses like this article. Give it a rest!! One way to keep women’s sports from getting sexualized (water under the bridge!!) is to have reasonable limits. Reasonable people on the local level can figure this out. Also the author needs to understand that speaking and dressing in a way that doesn’t offend manners is a normal part of life, it’s how community is formed.
My son swam competitively in high school for a while. His swimming trunks almost went to his knees. Why can't girls wear swimming costumes like that?
1
How could the author forget to mention the parent (male) who had the gall to take pictures of the young woman from behind, his excuse being that he wanted to show others how "inappropriate" she looked. This guy should be arrested for child harassment and abuse. It's absolutely revolting and disgusting that the young woman (and her sister it turns out; and I'm sure others) have been subject to this inappropriate prurience for quite sometime without anyone stepping in. These young women are strong, committed athletes. That is all.
1
Since many a 15 yr old female athlete is still a "growing girl" it could be she simply outgrew the swimsuit in a little as two months. Sad that apparently nobody took notice and procured her a larger sized swimsuit.
1
I find it ironic that a curvy girl was singled out for how a swimsuit she did not choose fit her. Why is it only girls/women are sighted for these violations? What about the swimsuit for male competitive swimmers? I have seen plenty that leave nothing to the imagination. Why aren’t they singled out for immodesty too?
74
Is there a story here?
After all the attention the Breckyn Willis story has received, it should not be too hard to ask Speedo to produce a dozen custom fit swim suits for her to wear.
From what I can gather, the issue is not simply Breckyn's physique but that the cut of the suit is too risqué. Just reduce the angle at which the suit is cut in the buttocks and groin.
As for the problem of curves, we are all familiar with the phenomenon of the physically precocious girl who stands out and gets all the attention. The severity of this dilemma diminishes with the onset of adulthood--with the presence of more women like her--when the individual can choose from a greater variety of fashion options to manage her physique.
The more common source of anxiety is physical belatedness, or the underdeveloped body, typically focusing on the bustline.
I always appreciated slimness in women and men and was usually too absorbed in my books to notice. I never commented.
This brouhaha over an adolescent swimmer seems overblown, especially since, as others have commented, female athletes compete in many sports in uniforms that are tantamount to lingerie: track and field, gymnastics, beach volleyball, bodybuilding.
17
The cruel and sexist decision by a referee (apparently a woman) to, temporarily, strip Breckyn Willis of her win because of the fit of her standard-issue swimsuit, says so much more about the referee than it does about Ms.Willis.
68
Maybe it is just aging or not keeping up with the times, but I have become increasingly shocked at the way all female athletes dress. Their athletic skills compete with the small amount of fabric they wear. Most female swimmers' buttocks are exposed by swimsuits that are unnecessarily brief. All athletic garb should be design to allow the athlete to perform at their peak not to enhance their bodies. Athletics are not beauty contests. I am surprised by the apparent willingness of women athletes to consent to wearing such sexualized team wear.
29
I will just say this:only in America. Hypocrisy reigns supreme, in a land which monsieur Tartuffe would have embraced effusively.
2
Oh please, a lot of women, maybe not the author, dress in such a way as to emphasize their shapes. When they do that can you blame guys for noticing? After all, whose attention are the wearers of this clothing craving?
3
This article exposed the constant issues we have with sexuality and the racial issues that are both connected
Till we ever have a meaningful conversation and expose all of our fears we can’t move forward. Our children, everyone we know will be constant victims and we will continue to stand around doing nothing,
How much longer do we continue to be blind and allow society to burn.
1
Team uniforms for swimming and gymastics have been cut so as to be more and more revealing over the past 25 years. There is no functional reason for a gymnast to have so much of her lower half exposed. Why???
5
related, my little sister was cursed with enormous bosom at 11 years old. Males seemed to perceive that sex drive for a female was related to the size of her chest and therefore every large chested female was desirous of being ravaged, it impacted her life negatively.
7
Thank you for the balanced observations. It shows how biased, prejudiced and misguided thoughts can exact a price from those targeted by them, and how the damage they cause persists even after they've been successfully challenged. Only longer and unrelenting clarity of purpose will cause them to wither and die.
A "sister" article that should have been linked to this;
https://medium.com/@swimfly143/alaska-high-school-swimming-divings-inexcusable-swimsuit-scandal-33cc10f180b9
The article by Lauren Langford, a swim coach for another Alaskan high school tells how a parent surreptitiously took pictures of the student then uploaded them. This article also reveals how other swimmers have used regulation suits- exposing the body yet- no disqualification.
4
Despite being slender and flat-chested, I was deemed a threat because, I was told, I had a "sexy" face. Huh? I'm a lot older now, but I still haven't figured out what made my face "sexy".
3
Amanda: Wake up. What woman isn't ashamed of her body? Wasn't that the punishment for Adam & Eve's being thrown out of the Garden? Isn't that the raison d'être for Weight Watchers, anorexia, Spanx and America's obsession with carbs? If you think you're the only woman who wears a cardigan to cover something up, you are sadly mistaken.
That said, it was insane -- or worse -- to take away Ms. Willis' win because of the cut of her bathing suit.
4
It talks about obscenity then draws attention to itself by using a photo of legs in swim-suites (to get more readers?)
2
Just this morning I glanced at a photo in the Sports section of my local paper and wondered who decided the girls volleyball team should wear very short shorts. The girls themselves? Male athletic directors? Why not longer, looser and yes, more modest ones?
I admire how the Mormon church teaches boys and girls modesty from a young age. Big or small, curvy or straight, no one is compelled to show their stuff.
1
How puritanical can you get? There are some specious human rights complaints, but this is a genuine one.
2
"It is with me when I go shopping and lean over in front of the fitting room mirror to ensure my chest won’t be exposed. ..."
A small price to pay for living in a free country. In much of the world, a woman is only allowed to show her eyes, the rest of her sewn in a sack. Why does no one show concern for these poor women, oppressed by patriarchy and religion?
6
Yes! Finally!! Thank you for speaking on this!!
This is another of those only in America things.
4
In addition to the points made in the article, I noticed that Breckyn Willis appears to be biracial: half-Black, half-White. The hypersexualization of the Black body is another common current in our society.
Did the story have to be illustrated with a photo of girls' bodies with no faces? It seems rather to undermine the point.
1
As a male who has enjoyed looking at sexy women all my life, let me assure you that this in no way implies any sort of disrespect, much less regarding women as less than human "objects". The objectification meme is an utterly false idea promoted by some feminist militants who get a bigger following telling women how awful men are than by actually fighting sexist stereotypes.
Yes, there are a few men like Harvey Weinstein who take perverse pleasure in making women uncomfortable. There are also men, like rapists and thieves, who take what they want for themselves without concern for hurting others. There are also jealous women and puritanical men who think women should hide their sexuality. But the fact that a man is interested in your sex appeal is biology, not a sign of disrespect.
4
this is much more about race, and how women of African ancestry are judged differently!
2
She could have found a substitute suit that fit properly for her.
Mmmm. The treatment of the young girl swimmer last week was appalling. Better still, it was disgusting. Surely there was something else going on there.
But how should we dress young women - and young men involved in sport? Problem is, at a certain point men and women get bulges, curves - call them what you will. Perhaps the only way certain people will be satisfied will be if we remove the clothes of all athletes completely.
If that doesn't seem appropriate, how about having the exact same standard ill-fitting, somewhat oversized, uniform for men and women in all sports - swimming, judo, athletics, cycling. All curves, bumps etc must be completely hidden. How about shaven heads? Or perhaps a large cap to cover the entire head? Big, small, tall, short - everyone can look equally silly.
The demonization of beauty, fitness, aesthetic attractiveness, evolutionary biology, sexual attraction, and other normal parts of being a human is accompanied by the rise of obesity rights advocates and other groups that promote ill health and gluttony of all kinds.
When I was a young, athletic handsome man, and gay men and even a few females "leered" at me and even in some cases tried to forcibly grope me, I understood that they were attracted to me and that wasn't a bad thing.
What was bad is if they started trying to put their hands on me or forcibly restrain me.
The simple fact is that healthy, fit people in their prime reproductive years are attractive in many ways. Asking people not to notice that is like asking bees to ignore pollen.
4
How about when you're 72? I kid you not. Stares at the grocery, once being brushed up against (I screamed a barrage of curses at him).
Younger: being followed, stares, whistles. The emergence of feminism helped me cope. Summers are hot here. I finally started wearing tank tops. I'm Anglo: it's never been my race.
2
At its heart, this problem is generated by the widespread lack of understanding of the underlying mechanisms that produce the thought patterns at work.
All humans possess a little recognized status evaluator, a neural mechanism that is tuned to notice (in three seconds, on average) certain co-selected traits, to which a value is automatically assigned. The body part of note in this piece is one of these noticeable co-selected traits; the shape is the key to how highly it’s valued.
The metric is not sexual, but it does address reproduction: co-selected traits are stand-ins for the underlying characteristics related to nurturing ability. Nurturing is too abstract to judge in only a few moments, let alone a few seconds; most of us would be highly confused about exactly what we should be looking for in any case.
So the problem here comes down to this: in terms of swimming ability, these co-selected traits have nothing substantial to contribute; disqualifying this athlete for her apparent status as a future parent is as meaningless as any other unrelated trait.
Let’s disqualify a blonds, then test swimmers who win to see if they’re coloring their hair, and disqualify those who are found to be ‘passing’.
Not silly enough? Pick any identifiable trait and run the same exercise. Did that athlete lie about her height, slouch to get by, then use her hidden height talent to ruthlessly beat other, shorter contestants?
How about finger length? That’s real. Should we ban it? —T&K
1
A couple of thoughts to throw out. Dogs have extremely sensitive noses and most are devoted to sniffing and scent marking their territory. Male dogs are also constantly on the lookout, by scent, for female dogs in heat. It’s hard wired into the species.
Humans have pathetic noses by comparison and our species preferentially uses vision. Men are also hard wired to be obsessed with sex. They essentially use their eyes to sniff, and have to consciously think not to stare if an attractive female crosses their gaze. Where that attraction goes from there is determined by all sorts of social factors.
Also, for men, women can be considered a resource to be sought, controlled, and even hoarded. Think Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump for the extremes. Humans, like other social animals, also evolved to limit reproduction of those lower down the social order. Local resources have almost always been limited, and preserving those resources for one’s own progeny takes precedence. Why would you want ‘those others’ to breed.
Lastly, science shows women’s shapeliness correlates with fertility, and reproduction is a key driver of behavior by both sexes. Men look at beauty and whatever else, particularly socially, is brought to a liaison. Women need a long term social relationship to best produce and raise children. Women can advertise availability but within individual limits that limit harassment. Regardless, beauty is social capital and the most beautiful humans tend to win out.
4
Speaking from experience, I have found only one rite of passage that satisfies my curiosity concerning my sensual and sexual attraction to females: group nudity. I can't speak for every man, but in the co-ed instances when we were all totally naked, I found it took only a few minutes to become comfortable. I call this the demystification process, and it worked for the males as well as the females. Nudist camps, nude beaches, skinny-dipping, wild hot springs, the sweat lodge and the steam room... when everybody is naked you can hear the sigh of relief as sensuality outmaneuvers lust.
Try being a girl with no curves. You wouldn’t make it a day. The abuse is pervasive.
1
It is not the curves that our obscene, but rather our culture as to how re react to them. There is beauty in the female body. Except it, but don't obsess over it.
I always longed to be curvy. Instead I am a veritable twig and totally ignored, one of nature's losers in the epigamic attraction department. Methinks we all have our crosses to bear and I'd personally be happy to swap. For a week at least.
2
American men of their communities have been destroying American culture for ever, including with sexual violence.
But beyond #MeToo, American family policies, politics and culture have hardly erased the expectations
people bring to gender, or parenting. Women, young and old are being abused everyday starting with the guy in the White House to include the vice-president who also has no respect for women, young or old. American culture is not what Americans say it is.
Unless competing nude is allowed, the line on appropriate attire for swim competitions has to be drawn somewhere. Apparently the rules did not allow buttocks so exposed that they can be seen touching each other. I don't know if that is the right line, but I don't see that enforcing the rule as written as a problem with the official. I don't even see it as a problem with the rule, but maybe others would draw different lines than me.
But disqualifying the athlete is not the appropriate penalty. The coach made the mistake of buying team uniforms that couldn't be worn by everyone in a way that follows the rules. That is the person who should be penalized.
I was also a twelve year old who was leered at by grown men. Then in math class sitting at the round table as we worked on problems together I had boys try to lob rolled up balls of paper into my cleavage.
I also have a terrible time shopping for bathing suits, especially ones meant for lap swimming. My choices seem to be squished boob, exposed side boob or much to much cleavage. I happen to have a large cup size, and plus size suits to not work (they are over padded and not appropriate for swimming laps, also the cup shape does not fit). I have resorted to wearing a rash guard just for modesty's sake, an option not available for those on a swim team.
I really really wish sport wear companies would realized that many of us who want to work out need more than a B, C or even D cup.
2
In the original Olympics, the athletes competed nude.
Of course, they were all men, and no women were allowed as spectators either.
1
Historically, women in Patriarchal cultures have been sexualized, objectified, feared, and thus punished. Why must the curves of our female athletes titillate? Yet in so many cultures, women are punished for their bodies. In some countries, women are subjected to female genital mutilation. In other countries, women must sleep in separate dwellings during menstruation. And here in the USA, it seems an innocent young non-white woman was demonized for her curves. Sadly, this colonial gaze has had many victims over time, including Sara Baartmaan, who was obscenely put on display for curious white Europeans who flocked to view her black body. Now, here we are in the 21st century, and apparently, the colonial gaze thrives, in sports, nonetheless, sexualizing and objectifying a teenager. Unconscionable.
1
One "judge" overreacts for who knows what reason, and suddenly this becomes an issue to talk about.
From Wikipedia: Of the nearly 1.8 million cosmetic surgical procedures performed in 2017, the top 5 were: Breast augmentation (300,378 procedures, up 3 percent from 2016) Liposuction (246,354 procedures, up 5 percent from 2016) Nose reshaping (218,924 procedures, down 2 percent from 2016).
What constitutes “beauty” or “attractiveness” or “sexy” is an interesting phenomenon. You would think that in Darwinian science it would have to do with fertility and the ability to procreate more than someone who is “less attractive”. But I don’t think that is the case.
I have found that the most attractive persons have sincere delightful smiles. Even with his wide gap in his front teeth, Michael Strahan has a charming attractiveness.
I find a dour grumpy look on someone with a perfectly good facelift to be so much less attractive than an acquaintance of mine, a rolly-Polly big Italian woman with the wonderful beautiful smile. She is not afraid to smile happily and broadly, despite the fact she is missing a front tooth.
Jeeze. I'm so innately hopeful and naive that I had somehow assumed this had to do with a swimsuit that was judged illegal for inhibiting the drag or resistance that 'greater surface area' presents to an object in motion through liquid or atmosphere. Just the opposite turns out to be the case. On top of that it turns out that there may be a racial subtext as well.
Gender, hormone loads and proportions, and what constitutes a handicap v. biological mutation are all likely to become future issues for athletics if the human race survives long enough past our environmental stupidity.
2
The female form is the most beautiful object in the universe. Don't hate us for admiring it. Have you ever considered classical art? Beautiful curves everywhere. Your favorite car? Curves. The beauty of a flower? Curves. Don't be ashamed...be proud you were blessed with such wonderful curves....
Ah, them sexy legs!
This fascination has been around since women have legs and has skyrocketed since they started shaving their legs. Moreover, it is going to stay around for a long, long time.
I cannot even say that I am sorry about feeling this way.
This is an natural, Evolution-related truism. No amount of 'sexist' accusations or political correctness can alter this reality.
1
I just can't seen to respond the way I would like with any eloquence at all but in a nutshell we have done this to ourselves. We have exaggerated sexuality both in the positive and the negative. Exaggerated it's importance, it's pleasures, it's taboos. We've fetishized it, shamed it, criminalized it. We've done everything we can to avoid the simple fact that it is natural and healthy and can be expressed in a multitude of ways. We are so repressed that we are woefully ill-equipped to manage ourselves in society. But it is our responsibility to manage ourselves. Anything can become a trigger. We can see and exposed buttocks in a swimsuit and find it titillating to be sure. But we simply must have the basic understanding of the differences between a beautiful body and a sexual body. I'm sorry I'm not better at explaining my feeling. In the end it is my responsibility what to do with the information and how to manage my response to another human being.
1
Just a question:
What is the "modesty standard" for MALE swimmers and divers?
Be serious, everything about females is centered on reproduction, insuring the survival of the species. Women dress, talk, and behave yielding to the biological imperatives of their chromosomes. Politicizing,human sexuality by both men and women, to suit the manmade imperatives of civilization won't change anything.
1
The issue isn’t oversexualization, it the sexualization of girls and adolescents. Sexuality was inappropriately imposed upon Breckyn Willis when she was imbued with adult sexuality because of her body shape. In being disqualified, she was made into a thing for others' sexual consumption, rather than being seen as a person with the capacity for power, independent action, and decision making.
Disqualifying a boy or man because his shorts or swim trunks inadvertently expose his buttocks or any other body part? It isn't done. Because the clothing of boys and men has always been nonsexual. In the highly sexualized cultural milieu in which girls, adolescents and women are immersed, every choice they make about clothing, hair, and makeup is a sexualizing choice.
Even when girls and women aren’t making a choice, they’re still sexualized and punished for it. If female athletes are required to pay attention to inadvertent clothing concerns while participating in sports, this leaves fewer cognitive resources available for mental and physical focus during participation. All the more reason for judges, parents, teachers, governing organizations, and the media to monitor and examine the sexualization of girls and adolescents in sports, and proactively take steps to eliminate it.
2
I agree that stripping the young woman of her victory was patently absurd, but my reaction to this article is now the left is going to create a new victim group, "curvy women"?
Enough of the victimology.
1
I honestly don’t understand what this essay is about. That women should wear swimsuits that fit? Hmm, a good idea. That some men like curvy women? True; and some don’t. That what is euphemistically called “curvy” in the US is called “fat” everywhere else? Absolutely. I am not “curvy” but I don’t mind men looking at me as long as it does not become harassment. In fact, I appreciate a smile and a compliment. If the author does not, I’m sorry for her but why is it a social problem of any kind? The swimmer was not harassed. The issue was resolved. Maybe Americans should just let go of their obsessive Puritanism over sex and try to have a good time.
2
The writer doesn't say if her hyper-vigilance about her clothing and appearance resulted from male and/or female comments. But as a petite curvy girl I know first hand that the most rude offensive comments I've received have been from women. Me to another young mom: "Hi, are you also here for the mommy and me swim class?" Other mom gazing slightly downward: "Yes, we met last week. I mean, who could forget those."
9
As with peacock tails, lion manes and many many other examples throughout the animal world, if the human animal genotype that favors a curvy female phenotype was not advantageous from an evolutionary point of view, then it would have been selected out of our gene pool. Luckily, it has not.
5
“This wasn’t the first time she was objectified by adults on the basis of her figure. The sad reality is that it probably won’t be the last.”
Really? Seems like the judge was enforcing rules designed to help reduce the objectification of females.
Arbitrary ideas of modesty? Would it also be arbitrary to prevent competitors competing more naturally— au naturale? Should we revert to original Olympic norms?
No one knows where these lines are today. The wo rds we use and clothes we wear in public would surely have shocked the last century, if not the preceding millennia.
Confusion reigns, sure. But inveighing against “objectification,” the pangs of puberty, and the biological imperatives of what we are certainly programmed to notice wears a bit thin, and sounds like naked propaganda, however painful the author’s memories.
4
"One can only hope that the attention this story is getting is serving the purpose of amplifying just how pervasive the stigma toward the female body can be." The stigma towards the female body is as old as the female body. This story just shows that our society has reached a point where, insulting this young woman by stripping her of the win, they reinstate it. But will the insults every stop? I doubt it.
5
Here is just a broad idealistic philosophical comment. I wish males and females adopted an essentially "uni-sex" style. While everyone should feel encouraged to look nice (i.e., flatter their body, sexuality, etc.) the idea that females should slather makeup all over their faces and expose as much of their skin as possible is absurd. Personally, I'm not generally drawn to such looks. Amy Walter to me is a captivating woman who I'd love to have coffee with. (Yes, I understand the underlying issues. I don't go anywhere near there, and invite you to do the same.)
6
I completely agree that this young athlete did nothing wrong and should not have been punished. Of course, people should not be accused of sexual impropriety simply because they happen to have a certain body type.
But I still think there is an odd double standard here. Aside from the issue of sports uniforms, my perception is that in every day life, women are far more likely to wear revealing clothing than men.
Women frequently endorse fashions that invite sexual interest -- low-cut shirts or very short shorts, for instance -- and then express outrage that people are ogling them. ("My eyes are up here.")
If you don't want people looking at you, then cover up. This reasoning should apply equally to both sexes.
13
My daughter's high school cross country team collectively decided on a tight fitting outfit. For all the cross country races they wore that. But I remember no one had any thought about it being too tight or any such comments. So this column fails to point out is that the officials who made this an issue need to be publicly reprimanded and fired.
8
I don't know...every time I'm on vacation and around a crowd of Europeans in swimsuits - young, old, fat, thin, busty, brawny - I'm constantly amazed at how prudish Americans seem by comparison. It's such a feeling of freedom to accept your body, enjoy the sun and sand, and not fear being scrutinized and judged. (At least as much.)
30
The human body is beautiful. To condemn those who display it or look at it for their wrongful attitudes is oppressively puritanical.
5
I was highly angered when I read about the girl in Alaska, so I am pleased to learn here that her win was later reinstated. Nothing will take away the bad feelings she must have had at it even happening in the first place.
If a girls is seen physically drawing her suit up to make it a thong, especially after an event, then I am with the official in disqualifying her if the rules so state. I say to girls, if you pull it into becoming a thong, U R out. If it just rides high on you, it is the audiences problem if they can't handle it. That stated, school districts have to adapt, no one size fits all.
Beyond the statements above, I NEVER attend women fashion objectifying events nor the sporting events where such attire is prevalent though I think that a great fit moderate body, female or male, is a true work of art. I'm totally hetero.
Sadly some women say that they gave up because of others objectifying their body, that is such a harsh thing to do to a young girl, we need to do better.
3
This article resonated. However, reading through comments has ignited my concerns. So much blame - when a writer expresses their opinion - should they be skewered for not getting it "quite right". Remember, our lenses on life are not the same. Also, I certainly expected comments "blaming" the victims, but it still unnerved me to see them couched in such academic terms so to be acceptable instead of virulent and hateful (which they still were). Everyone, men, women, needs to examine themselves before we come together to pluck at the bones of victims like vultures. Let us stop hurting each other.
6
Glad this is gaining attention. Stop objectifying women body. My wife and I watch sports - swimming, beach volleyball, gymnastics, etc - and are perplexed. Why are young girls and women have to wear absolutely skimpy clothes while the counterpart male athletes don't show too much skin? Are these expected? Yes! There is a huge controversy when women wore shorts instead of bikini when playing beach volleyball in Olympics. Time to stop this nonsense and sexualizing women sports. May be, women can take lead and stop adhering these social norms. Take swimming or gymnastics - floor exercise. Men wear shorts and women very very little. Why? Does wearing shorts really affect performance? If it does then why are men wearing those? Unfortunately many of the routines end up showing too much sexualizing the athletes. Objectification of the bodies have been part of sports. If someone objects for objectifying athletes they are shouted down as being perverts. There ends the conversation. Glad this is published.
7
Many year ago, I was traveling with my mother, my mother's good friend and the friend's daughter. I was 21 and wore an A cup. The friend's daughter was 14 and wore a C or D cup. She dressed like a teenage tomboy in jeans and loose shirts that covered her well. She wore glasses, no makeup We were traveling in Scandinavia and the attention from men would not stop. Some of it was directed at me, but much more of it was a salacious interest in the fourteen year old. It was awful. The pain in her eyes with each encounter, each undisguised leer, each stare, each double take was hard to see. She'd avert her eyes, sometimes she flinched. One mentally ill homeless man motioned as if to grab her chest. I was shocked, and I felt so sad for her throughout the trip.
The truth is that men start leering and commenting on girls as soon as they enter their teens. It shocked me when it happened to me at thirteen. But what this family friend experienced at fourteen because of the bad luck of having a very big bust at a young age was a stunning revelation. The oversexualizing of young teenage girls is a burden that they should not have to endure. The topic deserves a real discussion.
23
The key to me has always been to look women in the eyes (and nowhere else). I can appreciate beauty but that has no place at work, in the grocery store, or (God forbid) in the schoolyard!
1
in a relative way try not caring. life then really opens up.
honestly, this is just a story of being human. As a youth, I constantly felt judged as well, and even to this day. I'm what you might call overweight, not even obese, just heavy, but my belly attracted attention, even these days now that I'm 40. this really isn't all that ground breaking or unique to "curvey women". Nobody is that special.
1
Thank you! This story upset me greatly. I am Scandinavian and still deal with men who either fetishsize my height and body to those who tell me they wish I was just a little shorter (I tell them I wish it was them who should be taller- LOL). I am not that tall- only 5'9" and am shrinking. My two sisters are six foot tall and I have seen them being bullied over this.
In high school I played volleyball and basketball. It is upsetting to see that volleyball players now have to wear bikinis and are openly leered at rather than admired for their athletic abilities.
My daughter is a fashion designer. While she was attending Parsons she would work with some of the top men in fashion in NYC. She was appalled by these men deciding that women who were of healthy weight were stigmatized and told they are fat. These are women who are size six!! We are seeing slim stars who cannot get couture made for them to attend awards ceremonies. And they are deciding how impressionable young girls feel about their bodies?!
So glad to see the trend of women taking their bodies back and deciding for themselves what is sexy; more of that please! And no child needs to wear a bikini, stop making these in children's sizes
10
Every single individual on the planet goes through your experiences (even the most beautiful), whether you are aware of this or not. It is, always was and always will be, part of the human condition. For better or worse, selective breeding is why we still don't look like australopithecus afarensis, with our knuckles dragging in the dirt. The upside is that less-than-'perfect' people tend to be nicer and more interesting. Take that and make it work for you.
1
@Sophie K NYC
I think your comment, though well-intended, is ironic and misguided. Who says women can’t have it both ways? Men have it both ways. Who says women can’t be both sexy AND respected? Men get to be both sexy and respected.
I think women can — and should — demand that men stop objectifying them regardless of how a woman dresses, walks, looks, talks... Women (and men who pose in sexy magazine shots) are allowed to be BOTH sexy AND respected. These are not mutually exclusive concepts. The onus should not be on women to change their appearance, but rather on men to change their thinking.
1
Appreciating that the young woman swimmer in Anchorage was cruelly and inappropriately disqualified because her body in that standard swimsuit "violated" the judges sense of propriety, the fact remains that the award was reinstated because she was wearing the required swimsuit. How her body conformed to that swimsuit was not within her control or responsibility.
However, in using this clear example of unfairness and discriminatory treatment, the article gets lost in a world of descriptions for which there are no accepted definitions. Specifically, what does "oversexualization" actually mean and what distinguishes "hypersexualization" from "oversexualation"?
To sexualize anything is to endow it with a sexual character. Clearly, men and women by their natures are sexualized. So, how do you get from sexualize to oversexualize to hypersexualize? What distinguishes each from the other?
This is not something that can be be written off as being pedantic since it has a legal consequence. For instance, you can use sexualize in a lawsuit but if you used over- or hyper-sexualized it would mean nothing.
Even in conversation, these words would be provocative without having any real quantitative meaning shared by the participants.
Words are important particularly so when dealing with such an important subject.
3
Face it, we are primates. We look; friend, foe or mate. We do it automatically within tenths of a second. It is hard wired and neither sex can prevent it. It's hard for men to fathom female stigmatization from being looked at by men because it's basic biology that drives us.
5
This swimmer did nothing wrong. She wore the same uniform as her team mates. Women athletes who cover up with things like head scarves are also criticized. Human beings are sexual by nature. It's time to stop shaming, objectifying, and punishing women for that. Male and female athletes have beautiful bodies: it comes with being an athlete. If people can't control their impulses because of what someone else is wearing, that's THEIR problem.
4
I am with the author 95% of the way. Women should be able to live, dress and walk around in public spaces without fear of harassment, intimidation or feeling vulnerable. Sadly in a misogynistic world this is often not true. I would personally never dream of bothering another person in this manner. But what she needs to understand and all women need to understand is that lusting after the female form is not a choice for the average man anymore than sexual orientation is a choice. Looking at women, admiring women and desiring their bodies is deep within us, deep inside our DNA. Though I always respect her, within myself I will always want her sexually. That is the way we are made.
5
This was not an issue of "over-sexualizing" anyone. It was a dress code issue. The judge who disqualified the swimmer was a woman. In fact, no men were in the chain of any of the key decisions about this.
Should she have been disqualified? No. Should there be a rule designed by make sure the teen swimmers are not, in essence, wearing thongs? i dunno, but the more suit in contact with the water, the more drag the swimmer must overcome. The entire reason for the dress code has more to do with the swimmers who do not wish to feel pressured to pull their suits up over their cheeks (and show their parents and classmates their rears) than over-sexualizing someone for whom the suit rides up naturally.
I'm pro-body-positive attitude. They swimmers can apply body-paint to cover up for all I care, but this column tries to make a point that is not part of the facts of this case.
4
Thank you, Ms. MacLean, for writing this piece. I can relate to every word. I'm 68 and can still remember the humiliation (and confusion!) of grown men leering at my 12 year old body. Being told that I should enjoy the attention made me fearful. What does a 12 year old girl know about power? Being shunned by other females kept me from making friends when I needed them most. To this day I dress modestly and was NEVER was comfortable with the idea "if you got it, flaunt it!" What nonsense to teach a pre-teen.
3
One reason we attend sports events such as figure skating , football, track, gymnastics , volley ball, swimming is to enjoy beautiful, talented bodies. The ancient Olympics celebrated naked men. Sports is much more than statistics.
1
I hate to be "that guy"...But in this case, I feel like I should point out that male athletes have been sexualized/objectified for thousands of years.
Athletes have always been viewed with a 'gaze' of admiration and lust. They are seen as perfect human machines, and depicted as such in art, pop culture, etc. as well.
Young women developing curves and being treated differently, objectified, sexualized, and stared at because of how their bodies are is a different issue entirely.
Meanwhile men seem to have become more and more self conscious. A speedo-style racing swimsuit, an unremarkable staple in the'70's, has become a scandalous garment that generates nervous derision.
4
Males, keep in mind that we are more attracted visually to the female form than vice versa.
If society dictates we are not to consider the female form, males will be at a disadvantage to females who are free to dress in a manner that emphasizes the female form while maintaining that doing so is not relevant.
Males, are you that gullible? Wake up.
In fact, this is a power move by females, to the disadvantage of males.
3
Two words: Serena Williams
It's sad that we are still in a world where a body defines right/wrong or good/bad. Serena has fought this nonsense her entire career. I am stunned that she wasn't mentioned in this piece. She should have been. Unfortunately, she earned the right.
2
Although the article hits the nail on the head, it neglects to mention that larger men face similar problems with athletic apparel. I was a fat teenager and remember being deathly ashamed walking on to the basketball court in shorts that barely fit.
And if that wasn't enough, I dreaded games of shirts and skins. It's sad women face sexualization, but men are bullied and body shamed just as much.
3
What a silly reason to disqualify a woman from winning a swimming race! However, I sympathise as I’ve often had problems fitting swim suits and I’m very aware that because of my curves clothes fall differently on me. For instance, business shirts are a no-no because they’re never generous enough around the chest, even if I could do the buttons up they will always pull open. I’ve always avoided certain styles that didn’t provide enough coverage around the bust and hips. When I was younger I had a slim hourglass figure and I hated all the attention. I felt like my body was all people saw, that they didn’t hear what I was saying (or like this woman that I wasn’t appreciated for what I could do, in her case her swimming). I felt like I wasn’t taken seriously as an intellectual. Now, I’m older and I’ve got a bit more weight, I enjoy being invisible, but I still feel that my body takes away from my being heard and appreciated for my mind. I’ve won prizes based on my writing, but I knew people were disappointed with my appearance when I spoke and actually gave my award winning paper in person. Then I realised it wasn’t my figure or my body shape that was the problem with being heard and appreciated for what I can do. It’s simply being a woman whose value is in relation to what I can and can’t offer men, rather than any other contribution I might make, or my existence for myself. Strangely, that was a very liberating realisation.
74
I see women in the gym who work out to compete in sports. The result - a sexy body. I see women work out in the gym solely to get a sexy body, and will never use it to compete in a sport. Because the intent is different, how each woman reacts to the attention she gets will be different. Others (men AND women) don't react to the intent, but to the results.
5
I have a young daughter who is still prepubescent. I have casually warned her or elluded to the fact she will be judged by her body because I am not entirely sure what else to say or do. it's entirely unfair and I see it from other men (I never thought about how a woman might sexualize another woman). But I have also assured her with a father's love she will always be perfect to me.
7
I was a late bloomer so fortunately missed many of the rough spots like these in my formative years. Once post mid forties though, the author may find that women tend to become invisible, another challenging transition for many.
10
@D Rose: Do they become invisible, or just normal? Attractive women are more visible than other people. When the attractiveness fades, they have to get used to being no more visible than the crowd. That might feel like invisibility, but it's not.
I for one like the look of older women who manage to keep their looks.
5
This was a wonderful article. This is an issue that does not receive the attention that it deserves. The idea of admonishing our youth because of their body shape is very upsetting.
11
What about the responsibility of the parents and school of this young person? Why have they not made sure she is swimming in a comfortable and acceptable ( to the standards of the sport meet) suit?
11
@Shaila Jhangiani
Why don't you read the article more carefully? It says that the winner was wearing the same type of swimsuit that her teammates were wearing. All aspects of competitive sport. -- including sportswear -- are governed by codes; THAT'S what is deemed acceptable. As for comfort: competitive swimmers dress not to be comfortable but to win!
20
She was wearing the same swimsuit as all of her teammates, as was required by her school and team. So what exactly would you would have the parents do? If she wore a different swimsuit then she would have been disqualified for that.
3
When my daughter was 15 she developed into a D cup. She was a cheerleader and wore two sports bras to make sure she didn’t bounce too much. I was called into the principals office after an exciting football game and told that some mothers complained that my daughter was a distraction and maybe we should reconsider if cheerleading was an appropriate activity. I suggested that the principal bring the woman’s husbands in and ask why they are so distracted by a 15 year old. My daughter is now completing her residency on the way to be being a pediatrician. I have watched both men and woman judge her based on her thick long blond hair and curvy shape. When she announced that she was going to med school, other parents expressed shock that she was bright enough, even though she was the valedictorian of her high school class. I have watched men and women sexualize her since she was 15. She is a strong woman but she has learned that to be taken seriously she has to hide her curves.
71
@Carol M
Thank you. As someone who went through similar experiences over forty five years ago I sympathize. I had to stop jogging because it hurt due to the lack of sports bras, and the ogling I got. Which is why I swim (hooray for rash guards!).
Only I majored in engineering. Which had its own issues with women. Which included the assumption that intelligence goes down as the cup size goes up. Um, no... that is not how it works.
40
I wish I had this solidarity growing up. I’m 45. High school was nightmarish as comments from teenage boys were bad enough, but I recall sweating and being out of breath in my room (before a cross country meet) pulling on two sports bras and trying to tape myself. My coaches and male dean would call me in/tell me I was inappropriate and would be penalized. The shimmery required shorts weren’t made for anyone with a waist either. I quit senior year, I played the organ in a church to save money for college and the priest/head of women’s guild said I had the wear a choir robe because I distracted male parishioners. I was 5’4 and 135 lbs. I still
feel shamed when I recall these incidents. Today I still get, “you don’t look like a school administrator.” I respond, “what does one look like?” Good for all the parents who wrote in; Carol, the dad who
openly communicates with his young daughter..I didn’t have parental support but would have felt like a powerhouse (and clearly you’ve empowered and shielded your daughters...good for you!)..that support is life sustaining.
12
I think I already wrote in a comment to another NYT piece in the past about this, but a few years ago in my company we hired a young woman that was a former fashion model. Of course she turned heads; of course every single man in the office tried to ask her out for coffee or dinner; and of course she was perfectly aware of her stunning beauty, and totally comfortable with it. Fact is, we hired her for her business management skills. She had a degree from a top university and she aced her interview; her beauty was not a factor in the hiring process.
A few years later she started up her own business, which I helped her set up, and today she’s a successful CEO and a great friend (but nothing more - she’s happily married with a child). The cliche that the “pretty girl” should hide her beauty in fake puritanical modesty to be taken seriously is outdated and pointless. Let beautiful women be justly proud of their bodies. Their brains and professional skills will always emerge anyway.
1
As a male, I am infuriated that anyone (judges) would even consider anything but the athletic ability of women competitors in swimming or any other sport.
Judges should never never even consider anything but the individual physical talents in athleticism. If they qualify to compete then consider only their physical gifts they have developed over the years prior to the competition they perform in.
Everything else, including body form and uniform fit, is absolutely pure bias.
23
And this was a female “volunteer” judge, who’d done the same thing to her sister in another meet. This two sisters, no swimmers of any other race, or body shape.
So glad to be 65. Women my age sometimes feel bad about becoming "invisible." I love it! Glad not to be watched anymore.
19
@Lynne Spreen
Let me ask you, do you wear the revealing clothing you see on the majority of young girls in the US. Why? I have to ask myself why you aren't and they are. I keep coming up with the same answer. Bear in mind that young girls in other countries don't feel the same necessity for short shorts and G string bikinis.
Actually she’s muscular. And biracial. Race had nothing to do with it, close to a majority of kids in Anchorage are partly minority or multiracial. The official, who is female by the way, thought the swimsuit violated the written high school competitive swimming standard. Now she was wrong on two counts she should have talked to the coach first and anyway it was a team swimsuit so the athlete should not be held liable. But to twist this into something about curvy bodies and the male gaze is actually totally backwards.
17
@Paul. Your points are well stated regarding the official’s failure of judgement. That said, the author’s sharing of her lived experience of being objectified and blamed for having a particular body “type,” that in turn exposed her to unwanted attention and shaming by others, doesn’t reflect “twisting” of the teen athlete’s swimsuit issue. The author simply shared her related experience which reflects, by the way, a common life experience of puberty and adulthood of many women.
5
Race had plenty to do with it Paul. Many athletes are muscular, male and female. Why was this swimmer, along with her sister in another meet, both singled out, and not another white “muscular” swimmer?
1
In the early 2000’s, I was a visiting professor at a major university in Nigeria, another African American professor and I noticed that we never saw Nigerian men at that campus staring at women the way men do in America. I asked a Nigerian professor about that, and he said “we try to act like we have seen a pretty woman before.” The ideal is to glance, and then take a picture in your mind. That is a bit of wisdom we need to apply in America.
22
Last year I wrote to a number of gymnastics organisations to ask why female gymnasts' outfits are very tight and revealing while male gymnasts are allowed to wear modest and comfortable-looking clothing. No one replied.
34
They should be allowed to have swimsuits that fit.
With the money spent on other equipment items, it is absurd that they should have to wear an ill-fitting swimsuit.
19
@srwdm
And for women they should be sized based on actual bra sizes not just dress size or the completely useless Small to Extra Large.
I feel sorry for the embarrassment that this young lady experienced. But I hardly think it embodies -- pun intended -- attitudes toward women athletes. I can remember when the stereotype was to see women athletes us unfeminine and unattractive. Then we, i.e., men, were encouraged to see women athletes as attractive, just as many women find men athletes attractive. It is this author's delusion that there is any kind of crisis of oversexualizing women athletes. And even in this episode, the point behind this strange rule seems to be to desexualize women athletes.
10
I read this as a guy and I wonder what was the motivation for the Judge(s) disqualification of the swimmer? Were they attempting to suppress their own feelings of arousal and the associated shame by denying this young woman her deserved victory? Seems so. Usually when something like this happens, it says more about the judges than the swimmer.
Brecklyn Willis was wearing the exact same suit as the other swimmers on her team, she just filled it differently, having matured into an adult sooner than the rest. I thought swimming was an athletic competition, not a swimsuit competition. Guess I was wrong.
16
@LaPine
The referee was female, an evangelical according to comments on the Anchorage Daily News articles. So
her issue was with 'feminine modesty'. (Apparently.)
I wish the referee had been named, as the 'adult' in the scene, rather than the young, minor, woman.
3
The official was female, not male. Interesting that so many have assumed the call was made by a man. Policing women's bodies is pervasive in our culture and lots of women participate, e.g. by blaming sexual assualt victims for their attite.
It was one female referee.
We can't change what we are. Many have tried; none have succeeded. The mania to remake mankind without "the bad parts" never ends well.
Progress, of a limited sort, seems possible but underneath we're still hunter-gatherers built for the savanna.
Girls and boys need to be educated about their bodies. Women's bodies have an effect on men that women need to be made aware of. This is - of course - not fair. But it's not going to change.
11
Agreed. Oversexualize, undersexualize.. who is the authority on what our culture needs? It seems the pendulum perpetually swings.
These are timed events so I really do not understand what the fuss is all about.
he judges should be looking at the fingers touching the side of the pool not anything else.
8
@Areader
I might add I just turned 81, but when I was in high school we had a swimming pool and part of our gym class was swimming laps.
Our class was all male and we swam without any suit at all. I do not think anyone thought about it as that was just something we did. At the time I thought is was just a way of not having a wet swimsuit to worry about.
6
I attended an all male private jr. high school in NYC where were told to swim nude. I thought it was strange back then - the early 1970's - and even more now.
6
@Marshall J. Gruskin
I was in HS in the late 1950s and I must admit I never wonder about it.
I first became aware of this problem when I worked as a surgical orderly. The surgical suite at that time did a lot of cosmetic surgeries. One of those surgeries performed on women primarily, and to my surprise young women even in their teens, was breast reduction. I had a conversation with an older nurse about this procedure in reference to a young teenage girl, and she explained it was done because her breasts "pulled" on her neck muscles and gave her headaches! Many young girls grow up wanting to attract boys attention. Many young boys grow up admiring shapely girls. Yet, girls, women, with curves as attention getting as they are, the curves can bring real physical headaches and pain! Focus on body shape can blind us to the content of her character.
7
@craig80st Women and teenage girls also get this surgery to stop the leering they get from rude men.
In a lot of ways, back in the 70s during the sexual revolution - we were bolder then. I remember the captain of my gymnastics team walking out to begin floor exercise at a big meet, and because her leotard kept riding up at different points through the meet-she decided to take matters into her own hands. She yanked the back of the leotard right up her behind in a full-blown wedge. We all laughed and cheered, and she did her routine dressed exactly like that. The judges gave her the highest score of the meet.
We've regressed in too many ways- we didn't become a society that elected Donald Trump just because of Russian election interference and gerrymandering. There's a subset of society that demands that women heel to male authority, and behave more like June Cleaver. There's nothing about that that's great for America, and nothing I ever want to see or hear of again.
For all curvy women out there - particularly women of color who get judged more harshly - I'm sorry, and it stinks. But we have a ridiculously powerful tool at our disposal: vote for people who represent us.
45
The big woman being treated as abnormal by physicians during my lifetime exactly reflects their attitudes towards fat men, they see them as people who create their own problems by overeating. Walk into a physical exam overweight and feel like a dead person walking.
7
Perhaps some background on this topic. I am a parent of competitive swimmers and referee. The teenage girls like to push the edge. They buy swimsuits which are too small. Looks like the Aussie's decided to get strict and disqualify. This has been going on for years.
12
@Matti
Aussies? Anchorage is in Alaska, northwest of you. Part of the United States.
And as the article pointed out, the entire swim team was wearing the very same swimsuit.
Perhaps that is the background you need here.
Yea that’s not what happened here.
“...her team swimsuit...”
Thanks for this essay. It brought up difficult memories. When I reached my full height at age 12 and looked older, my mother pushed me away. She would not discuss menstruation and the changes I was going through. Just when I needed her most she dropped the ball. I did not feel close to her after that. She wasn't able to guide me, and I developed a hard rind to discourage the overwhelming attention I got from men. It's still on me.
18
@Nina Rose I'm sorry for what you went through, but there is a bright side: It turned you into a really good writer.
If one omits the mainly syntax and grammar components from this piece, what remains is mainly a long list of euphemisms: blooming early; hung differently, burden of anxiety, filling out your swimsuit, cross to bear, crippling awareness, burden you with their gaze, unspoken judgment, de-weaponize my body, and the like. There is no lack of people who write this kind of narrative believing as they do that such conveys meaning and fact. It is not dissimilar to some of the writings of Simone Weil. And you can be sure about at least one thing. That nothing in this piece supports the contention that the initial disquslifying factor stemmed from an arbitrary modesty code, much less actual discrimination. Such results are common and happen all the time in communities, and only by the farthest stretches of a mystics imagination can it be proven to be racism or sexism. Otherwise, the writer of this piece needs to cite at least one valid source to validate the claims found therein.
12
@Dan Holton
Yeah, that's the rub. Writers' job is to produce words, sensational words, attention-arresting words. Writers who are not genuine experts on their subject focus on producing the most convoluted language they find in their repertoire. Do not even try to find a trace of solid analysis in the essay and evaluation of the evidence. The point is to impress, not to research, compare, explain.
2
@Dan Holton Well the poor misunderstood referee now has a strong and - might we say - very erudite defender! Perhaps we can re-open the case and re-disqualify this brazen (if athletic) young woman in defense of the principle of ... no visible bodies on swimmers? Yes, that sounds like a PERFECT standard. Burqua market here we come!!! Lol
2
@Dan Holton
I can't speak for everybody who writes "this kind of narrative" (to use your words), but Simone Weil's writing in the vein that you complain of is far from being devoid of meaning. She was an incredibly rigorous thinker (albeit digressive in her style)! As for Ms. MacLean's piece needing to support a particular contention: she has no requirement to do so, since one of her "contentions" about what had happened has been documented extensively by the press.
1
I guess we can all go back to the time honored principle of;
See no evil.
Hear no evil.
Speak no evil.
But, sooner or later, the tech giants will come up with a device that can be implanted in our brains that acts to damper inappropriate thoughts.
5
While it is normal, it also problematic. Can your children take the bus? If the child happens to have talents, who will be hitting on them. Athletes are market tools. How does that impact on their lives? It is a social norm and it also is an out of control sickness. How much does it contribute to destruction of a persons moral well being and of the family. It isn't nudity but the perception of it by those who objectify it for $.
2
A physical deformity or disfigurement is a stigma, a curvy body is not. Does the latter draw minor forms of sexism, yes. But don't complain about it as if it is the former. Which would you choose to have?
14
John, I would choose for you not to look at my body and form opinions, even if you think your opinions are positive or welcome in any way. It is not a stigma, but it can feel like one. It makes "non-stigmatized" women cross the street when they see you.
16
@Maria
I assume you mean "voice" opinions since that behavior can be modified.
Forming opinions cannot.
1
I sympathize with the author’s point. Every person struggles with body image while growing up, and people are judged, and judge others, for all kinds of elements of their looks...men and women.
Do your really want to be completely de-sexualized in how people view you? What are those consequences? If the intention is to always have the world meet us with comforting eyes, then we’re all in for a rude awakening. The challenge is getting ourselves and our kids in the space where they don’t identify so extremely with the outside world’s perception, both good and bad.
17
@Mike Cos I think this article provides the perfect opportunity for men to ... be QUIET.
36 years old and still worried enough about how people look at your body to write a NYT op-ed?
Men gaze at women who are attractive. Women gaze at men who are attractive. Women gaze at women - etc. Many people like the attention, many don't. It's the next step that matters - when people act on their curiosity, it is wanted, appropriate, mean-spirited, and so on.
People also look at others who are different in some way (too tall, too short, too many tattoos, too few piercings, physical disability or deformity, green hair, dark skin, light skin, mottled skin - the list is too long to fit in the character limit).
An important developmental accomplishment is to become comfortable in one's own skin in the context of cultural stereotypes and social discourse. I have never met a person who didn't perceive some characteristic that attracted unwanted attention in their youth - most of us figure out how to get on with life. Spending time complaining about one's own particular difference gets in the way of the true goal - to live your life with honor and confidence.
There will always be people who do stupid things (some of which are centered on physical appearance). Address the issue with the people doing stupid things, not by raising false causes (e.g., curvy women need special protections) that are not the root cause of the problem.
39
I think you have lost sight of the fact that she was disqualified after winning the race because she wore a team suit. If the ref had an issue with how she looked, (s)he should take it up with the coach, not penalize the young woman.
1
@RS The author is referring to the cultural hypnosis where even little boys have learned, often by first grade, to see girls as bodies, and as inferior in mysterious ways. That's not primarily a matter of stupidity.
Has anyone taken a look at men's swimwear? Little more than a fig leaf but not a mention. I don't get it.
25
Recently I've learned not to comment on people's bodies-not to praise, not to disparage, not to point out to fat people that they are--obviously--fat, not to encourage slender people to eat, not to admiringly tell tall people whom I mostly envy how wonderful it must be to be tall, or to sympathize with my shorter colleagues who may not mind being shorter as much as I do. I really should know better, and so should all the people who harassed me and all girls and women parsing all our body parts. My sister developed quickly when she twelve and I always admired how well she managed to call out all the starers. Her large breasts may have been sexy to some, but they also caused her real back pain leading to surgery, trouble finding clothes, and a lack of participation in athletics. I still think we need better sports bras that don't cost a fortune and simple sports wear for girls and boy's teams.
18
The most infuriating thing is that it is ALWAYS the women who are are forced/expected to modify their clothing and behavior - never walk alone at night, don’t wear short skirts, don’t confront harassers, etc. Why is it not expected that men change THEIR behavior?
53
Why all this talk of sexism? It was a female official who disqualified the swimmer.
2
Because my family was always telling me that I was fat, as a young girl and through the most vulnerable teen years as my body matured, I hated my body. The truth I later learned was that I was "chubby", not fat. And my body was not disgusting, even though that was how it all made me feel. I dodged phys-ed in high school every chance I got and by hook or by crook I never put on a swim suit whenever pool use was on the schedule. What we put on girls about their looks is beyond excuse. Stop it. Just stop it.
25
So, let’s cut the umbrage and appeal to the rules. The following is the FINA regulation on swimsuit fit:
“4.1.1. Design
Decency: the wearing of the swimsuit shall not offend morality and good taste (in particular, but not exclusively, because of the cut of the suit and body parts exposure whether covered or not).
Surface covered (shape):
For swimsuits used in pool swimming competitions:
Men’s swimsuits shall not extend above the navel or below the knee. Women’s swimsuits shall not cover the neck or extend past the shoulders, or below the knee.”
Oddly, the only specific body coverage requirement is that the swimsuit not cover TOO MUCH of the body! Therefore, “morality and good taste” are left to opinion, and “body parts exposure” is undefined.
I find it hard to believe that a vague appeal to “morality” and “taste” is allowed to stand as the official regulation for a competition sports garment. It is rationally indefensible and thus must be rewritten to be measurable and not open to personal interpretation. Maximum coverage is defined; therefore minimum coverage must be defined as well. As written, this “morality” regulation is useless and must cease to be invoked.
21
If the ref had a problem with the suit, he should have said so before the race. If the suit malfunctioned, it was not her fault. Regardless, the ref was out of line.
2
Watch a few fashion walks this season. I believe that what you see will see is a more androgynous lean.
Since the early 80's most clothing designers no longer design for females; they design for the androgynous figure. Why? Because it is much easier to drape a male figure than a female.
So if you don't have an androgynous body shape then choosing to dress in a female form is going to make you appear 'lust worthy'.
But since this is not about a fashion rant but rather about unfair standards regarding a chosen team uniform; yes, women's bodies look different. But you know what guys? So do men's bodies look differently.
Personally I do have my favorite male body type and if the guy hitting on me doesn't have he had better be able to make up the difference with a good sense of humor, some idea of current events that doesn't involve professional sports, and be able to converse as an adult or a matter of subjects.
I finished putting up with males who simply didn't measure up to my standards when I was around 50. I wish I had made that decision when my mom bought me my first bra.
7
The issue with Breckyn Willis of Dimond High School seems to be more an issue of misplaced modesty on the part of the official rather than sexual stimulation concerns. And men who play soccer, even American men in the Olympics swimming competitions have had similar things happen they just don't make the news. Those officials need to be educated!
When I look at the the famous Renaissance sculpture of David created between 1501 and 1504 by the Italian artist Michelangelo I dont see sex I see fit muscle tone.
This issue comes up on various vegan social media sites where women who have become fit and healthy and show photos of themselves in garb that shows off their fit abs, thighs, upper arms, backs often get comments about how they shouldn't try and look so sexy. Yet men shows off their fit abs, thighs, upper arms, backs simply get positive comments on how very fit and toned they look.
Noted scholar Marilyn Yalom explores twenty-five thousand years of ideas, images, and perceptions of the female breast in religion, psychology, politics, society, and the arts in her excellent 1998 book History of the Breast.
12
S, M, L, XL etc
Choosing and wearing the right size may go a long way to resolving the problems detailed in this article and the accompanying comments.
5
I’m that skinny girl, who people sees as needing that extra helping food. When I was about 11, I was told by a school official that my skirt was too short. It wasn’t it, my mother even measured the distance from the hem of skirt to my knees. However due to my long thin legs all my skirts look extra short. Now at the age of 44 and weighing what I did in high school, I still cannot comfortable wear any that hits right above my knees.
8
As a man who enjoys swimming, I choose not to wear the Speedo, but I am sure if I had to join a team I would get used to it, although the viewers may object. As a biker, the bike shorts can shift in unfortunate ways, but I have gotten used to it, and the intent is to make the biking process more efficient and not to titillate. Intent and context makes all the difference, for example, I don't wear bike shorts to teach my classes in computer science, but I have worn them when teaching a spinning class.
7
The comments by the women who gave up a sport or dance when their bodies began to change reminded me of something I saw last year. Our local school district has a very ambitious and "aggressive" performance program. While watching a high-school production of "Chicago," it occurred to me that the dancers, mostly women, were putting aside their body issues and just going out there and "doing it." It was inspiring to see young people leave their inhibitions backstage, put on a roaring 20s dance costume, and let it happen. Perhaps performance art is one answer to the body issues of young people, as discussed in this fine opinion piece.
8
It is hard to know where to start here. Ms. MacLean seems to resent her body, herself, the people who look at her, the society around her, all men and all women. Maybe there are a lot of women like her. I don't know.
When I was much younger, I learned that the world isn't going to change but I had to learn how to live in the world as it is. It almost seems as though one should say to her that it's long past time when she had to grow up.
People stare at others for many reasons, often far more problematic than having a specific type of body shape. Some people are disfigured from birth or from trauma. Some (for the same reasons) lack a limb, or have a particular genetic variation (like albinism). It would be very hard to conjure up a lot of sympathy for Ms. MacLean's angst because of her body type in comparison.
I still come back to my original thought. She needs to grow up, accept her body as it is or change it however she wishes. But the one thing she can't do is to change the rest of the world because of the way people look at her.
22
@Marcy
A couple of weeks ago there was an article here by a psychologist titled "Beach Body Tyranny Hurts Men Too" about all the body image issues which men deal with, too, and the responses from women here were highly illustrative. I'd describe it as some mix of sneering contempt and mockery.
But, of course, now we're back to discussing women and so men are supposed to have this Pavlovian response of shame, sympathy, and resolve to be better and do better.
I think your response echoes well what a psychologist would tell to a man or woman. At some point you must work on healthier attitudes about yourself, self-love, and some acceptance and tolerance regarding others instead of demanding conformity.
6
@Marcy
Hold on. Are you thinking through the implications of what you're saying? MacLean's primary issue, from my reading, is that a girl or woman's body type---something they have little to no control over---often leads to character judgments based on utterly arbitrary prejudices---from men AND other women alike.
Are you saying this is something she needs to "grow up" about?
I don't understand why you place the onus on people to adjust to a problematic mindset that victimizes them, instead of placing the onus on the mindset itself.
10
Thank you. Men used to hold whole conversations with my breasts, and when I was younger, I couldn't understand why people thought that I was sexually active or dumb as a box of rocks just because I had a good figure. Now I know it wasn't me, it was them.
49
"The damage has been done"? For Breckyn Willis, far from it. More likely, Ms. Willis will gain strength and confidence from this episode in her life. She has learned a valuable lesson: She matters, and she can overcome obstacles through strength, determination and pride.
15
@pspiegel
We HOPE that's the lesson she's learned. We certainly can't KNOW that.
I'm a guy, but when I imagine something like this happening to me, I feel like I'd spend at least the next year hiding under the bed. Nobody wants this kind of attention if they weren't seeking it, let alone that attention turning into a minor national brouhaha.
Hopefully that won't be how Ms. Willis processes and handles this. But I'm saying it's a mistake to just assume she will.
5
As a women who has worn lots of different style swimsuits ( classic Speedo-brand racing style, bikini, tankini, etc, etc...) in a lot of different settings ( pool, pond, ocean with rough surf), I can attest that it is pretty difficult - impossible? - to spontaneously suffer a wardrobe malfunction in a pool while wearing a one-piece regulation style suit. It just doesn’t happen. Those suits are cut modestly ... and you are literally swimming in a straight line in water that has no waves or current.
7
In this case the issues were twofold. First, the coach wasn't notified before the race so the disqualification was unfair. Second, why is what she wore and how she wore it allowed to be deemed more important than her performance. This is what keeps women down.
29
I completely disagree with you. I have had two swimmers, one now swimming in college. There is no regulation style suit. Suits are all cut differently, for both men and women. Speedo specifically have cuts for women ranging from what they call “conservative”, to “moderate”, to high cut-which show a great deal more of the glutes depending on body types.
Athletes wear the smallest and therefore tightest suits possible to reduce drag. For women, that means the suit pulls on the shoulder. During an actual race, an athlete will be actively swimming—not warming up slowly. From the dive, to each stroke, as the body rotates from side to side, not to mention the flip turn.... that suit will move. Even if an athlete chooses to size up, if the suit is cut high, and that athlete has very developed glutes, the suit will not cover them.
Better the school default in choosing a conservative suit so that it fits everyone modestly if those are the rules.
24
Tangentially, this article reminded me of something I've noticed lately: Some women (usually above the age of 50) have the unconscious habit of continually adjusting their shirt and/or skirt or dress in order (I assume) to make sure they're "covered up" properly. Ironically, these actions are so repetitive they end up drawing (my) attention to their chest and/or legs. I can't say that I've noticed that these adjustments are "necessary" except in the cases of women (usually younger) who are more scantily clad to begin with. My guess is that this habit was formed by some at a young age so as to ensure that nothing improper was "showing". You certainly don't see men or boys doing this sort of thing! Am I off base here? Just an observation, nothing particularly significant...
20
@Steven Hecht I've notice this as well. As soon as most women stand up or get out of a car they are doing the tug.
1
I've noticed many of the teenage girls and women I do psychotherapy with -- those who, I am "educatedly guessing," believe they will be attractive to men -- are wearing short dresses or short-shorts, low-cut blouses, etc., and will sit in revealing ways. That is, until maybe halfway through the session when it will have occurred to them that I have not even glanced at their "wares." (I am a man, but have gotten very good at this neglect.) At that point, they will suddenly begin to sit in a more demure fashion, or pull up their blouse. I can't read their minds exactly, but my sense is that they realize they need not or should not be their sexualized version of themselves in my presence, in the session. That's a good therapeutic lesson in itself.
32
I used to have a psychologist who conspicuously displayed her wares during sessions, and gyrated suggestively in her chair to the point that it was quite distracting. I wonder what was going on there?
6
@Fred-Thank you for teaching, through your behavior, that these teens and women can be vulnerable and valued and be safe and protected. This the principled approach expanded on in the book. "Sex in the Forbidden Zone: When Men in Power, Therapists, Doctors, Clergy, Teachers, and Others Betray Women's Trust" by Dr. Peter Rutter. Great book hat should be a required read for anyone in a role with authority and power over others.
https://www.amazon.com/Forbidden-Zone-Peter-Rutter-M-D/dp/0449147274
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/10/6/1578544/-The-Untold-Story-of-Trump-Model-Management-A-Daily-Kos-Exclusive-Part-1
1
@John Moore What was going on was someone who possibly needed some "re-education" or to lose her license.
A disqualification should only take place IF a swimmer displays unsports[wo]manship behavior - jumping the starting gun, interfering with another player while swimming - that sort of thing.
Members of the swim team were given the SAME SUIT in different sizes so Ms. Willis did not select her own suit. Perhaps she needs a larger size or tailoring of the provided suit. Apparently NO ONE noticed the fit of the suit until after she won her meet. She did nothing wrong. She's a lovely young woman; their treatment of her was disgraceful.
39
Am I the only one who finds a portion of this piece's perspective rather -
I am not sure how to express it exactly, but a not minuscule component reads as another version of -
Don't hate me because I'm beautiful.
At the least, as a woman, I find the author's projection of envy and petty malice upon other women unfortunate.
49
Disagree. I had a similar experience to the author’s growing up. Some people—male and female—treated me differently and/or assumed things about me because of my body. But many girls and women were perfectly lovely. Some boys and men treated me like a human being, not an object (sadly these were the minority). When I get really down on the world I try to remember there are at least few good people. I don’t think the author is trying to paint all women with the same brush, and indeed, with your comment, you are doing precisely what you accuse her of.
25
@SL I don't think she's doing that -- certainly not intentionally. She's accurately describing her experience, and it was painful. The issue is she can't get beyond her own perspective, even now. Unfortunately, almost all teenage girls are unhappy with their bodies and obsess about possible "defects." As the author notes, a curvy girl might be leered at. But -- a willowy girl is often mocked for her lack of curves; and, yes, she feels bad, too. Upshot: Both girls feel terrible about themselves -- and that's a problem, which continues right into adulthood, as this op-ed demonstrates.
4
@SL
I'm a guy and that's not the vibe I got from this at all.
My main takeaway from this is checking myself to wonder if I've ever been guilty of making the kind of baseless character assumptions she describes. I honestly can't say. I would like to think not, but perhaps on a subconscious level without thinking about it? It's possible.
I will certainly be more mindful of this going forward, at least.
7
I waited for this discussion. As a woman with a very curvy shape I knew what the problem was for that young athlete. Someone picked out those suits. Everyone was given one. No one else had her no doubt healthy, well exercised but curvy bottom. I'm pretty sure she was worried about the fit and the comfort and the exposure but she went out and did her job and won.
They need to make competition suits that are more than a V shaped shred of navy elastic. Athletes should have a choice of high coverage if they prefer it.
I'm a high school teacher. The next day, after reading about the decision, I surveyed the halls. We have a lot of young athletes. They train hard; they are beautiful young women practicing several sports. Almost none of them would be covered by the suits offered that I saw in the picture. I don't see this as their fault.
For me to buy a bathing suit has been torture for 50 plus years. Because a lot of them expose my bottom-which has never been fat, has always been toned, has often been complimented, but is not small. Now that I'm old one is allowed to wear an old lady suit without shame and it is such a relief.
What happened to her should never have happened. First of all she should have been offered a suit that fit. Secondly she won-fair and square. This should never have been rescinded so capriciously and publicly. I know a lot of resilient young people and hope that she is already overcoming this debacle.
61
If the suit did not fit her, she should have spoken up. She’s not a child. She should have taken responsibility for herself and requested another suit.
6
@DB You were never in a swim team. Key word here is Team: you do what your trainer tells you to do for your team to win and you wear the team swimsuit (and swim cap) you are given. Also, do you know the price of a race swimsuit? Often, some kids on a team can’t afford one (and one rarely lasts a season) hence fund raisers.
32
I agree. As an educator and swim team mom the suits have gotten smaller and smaller over the years, uncomfortably so for some of the participants and parents-- boys and girls alike-- give them a few style choices in swim team colors, with modest cuts available too. I did not see suits cut above the hip bone on girls 10 years ago as we sometimes see suits such as this fitting on some girls now. It's become like women's beach volleyball where they are forced to wear tiny bikinis whether they want to or not. This is about athletic department decisions-- nothing this female athlete had any control over. She did not deserve to be disqualified-- glad they changed that decision.
12
I'm outraged. If all others on the team were wearing this suit that allowed them to feel the water better, then treating her different is just wrong.
25
In our culture, beauty (female and male) is source of power, and athletics are just one of the training fields where it's deployed (particular in preparation for advertising and post-athletic careers, where it is weaponized); female beauty has long been conscripted in the process, but male beauty is coming up from behind in that regard.
I do wish that there were uniforms that revealed much less and didn't hinder performance in the process.
9
@Karl: Here's the solution: The swimmers compete nude but the entire audience and judges wear VR glasses that cover the participants's bodies with virtual bathing suits. Any attempt at streaming would either be blocked or similarly covered - get that AI stuff going.
Heck, they could be the kind of suits you saw in the early 20th century.
I saw this young woman on the news, working out with a coach. She is MUSCULAR and her coach said she is an incredible athlete. Every one of those muscles are hard earned and help her compete and win!
I hit puberty at eleven and after that, no man ever looked into my eyes. Their gaze went elsewhere. Being objectified surely takes its toll on women’s spirits. I hope this young woman knows that out of this infuriating incident has come important awareness about objectification, body-shaming and uninvited sexualization of the female form.
Whoever disqualified her should themselves be forever disqualified from judging athletic competitions. They obviously have complex issues about bodies and should focus their efforts (and their eyes) somewhere else.
59
The "proper attire" rule is the problem. When I was in high school I had my last growth spurt and grew 5 inches over 1 school year. The regulation school swimsuits were ordered probably once per year. And what is an athlete going to do when he or she shoots up a couple of inches overnight, and the suit no longer fits "decently?" This is what happens when adults try to impose adult rules on the growing bodies of childern. Adults sexualizing children.
38
@Isabel
Men sexualizing infants and girl children, female teens, adult women.
It seems like America -and the world- is becoming more prudish. It might be the rise of religion and rise of traditional "moral values" in the wake of Ronald Reagan, and fall of communism?
17
Americans have always been extremely prude. There’s nothing new happening.
The sexualization of other adult human beings is a brain-stem deep characteristic that all humans posses. Do we really need to go into why? It’s a stronger aspect of human nature than even our tribalism impulses that give rise to racism, probably by orders of magnitude. Therefore the implicit admonishment embedded in this article, that women shouldn’t be so judgmental of how other women dress and men should override their impulse to look at women, will forever be a fruitless endeavor because no amount of consciousness raising can overcome the strong feelings that most people on the planet feel about these things. Of course, don’t be mean or a creep, but it is self evident to most that the female form invariably elicits an unconscious response in both men and women despite how much polite society would like to reign in such impulses. Dressing will always be an exercise in pleasing, in negotiating how much attention one will or will not attract. The author might be more acutely aware of this than most but it is also true of everyone.
I don’t think I disagree with the authors intended thesis, I guess I’m confused why she deliberately left out the role biology plays in all of this.
I understand she might be borrowing a page from the consciousness raising activities that largely abolished racism, but fear of the other tribal impulses quickly fade after a handshake and a few jokes around the campfire. The propagation of life in the universe? Good luck with that.
48
There can be another element to this situation when it involves high school athletes [though not present in this instance], the selection of some uniform styles. As a Track & Field official at all levels (youth through international competitions) I am regularly disappointed by the decision of a coach to order uniforms that might be a good choice for some members of a team, but are a poor choice for others.
Over the years the NFHS had to add to its uniform rules that: "Bare midriff tops are not permitted.... (and) ....Closed-leg briefs are acceptable for girls. French or high-cut apparel shall not be worn in lieu of the uniform bottom..." (Rule 4-3-4-(b)-3 and 4, 2019 NFHS Track & Field Rules Book) Those additions came from coaches choosing uniform styles that are not compatible with a school-based activity.
17
Thank you so much for shining some light from your perspective on female body shaming and stigma. I believe it's all about educating our young early that sexuality is natural, that shame of one's body is not, and that we as a society and as emphatic human beings have to respect certain rules that distinguish us from animals. On a related issue, I am wondering why it is that Islamic women who wear the burqa with full face and body coverings, which seem to be layered, do not at least choose to wear white burqas in the summer, or any other color than black to deflect some of the worst heat.
9
Ms. Maclean,
I agree with your points, but I disagree that curves are obscene.
In the wonderful, but now undoubtedly politically incorrect, movie. "Venus," Peter O'Toole's aged character tells the way too much younger female object of his affection, in sum and substance, "that nothing is more beautiful to a man than the female form."
The most beautiful thing to a woman? Well, you'll have to watch the movie to learn what his achingly wonderful insight is.
13
You clearly missed the point. As men who use the word "achingly" to describe a woman's body, particularly when the woman is describing situations where she is made to feel uncomfortable with her body, often do. Women's bodies do not exist to be judged as "achingly" beautiful by you. Ew.
4
It would be great if this issue could be addressed at the design level with input from competitive swim teams whose members are required to wear one-size-fits-nobody styles that are cut so that the suit rides up or must constantly be pulled down (or up) for comfort. Imagine trying to focus on your swim event and being distracted by a suit that may get you disqualified. Not fair.
35
It is extremely important that young ladies compete in and/or learn to participate and enjoy sports. My daughter, when she was in high school, asked me if I thought she should become a cheer leader, or compete in sports. I told her that it was foolish to cheer for the boys, when you can choose to participate, compete and enjoy sport activities yourself. The act of competing is a life changing experience, and good for everyone, - not just boys. My daughter, who is in her 40s now, has always been grateful for my advice.
40
What a uniquely American dilemma that is for a girl.
Isn't there an entire sub industry in the apparel industry that caters to larger and more ample women, at all ages and stages of life, with quality, fashionable outfits designed to fit their figures properly, comfortably and, if desired, modestly?
And that includes swim wear, even competitive sport swim wear?
And the same question applies more appropriate sizes for larger men, also.
2
This was standard issued uniform and the school should have though about that subcategory. In any case why should the school athletes really care and adults shouldn’t either if everyone else is wearing the same thing.
6
@Paul In my experience, there are not enough "quality, fashionable outfits for larger and more ample women." I wish I were a good seamstress.
@Paul She didnt get the bathing suit from shopping, it was a school issued uniform that she had to wear.
How in the world did we get to a point where we have a hundred times as many stories and as much media coverage on each of the following - victimization, micro-aggressions, racism (and Trump craziness), essentially the same story over and over and over, just packaged a little differently, as we do on, by far, the most pressing issue of all, climate change.
That one issue, if unsolved, will have a much greater affect on every single human on Earth than those I mentioned, and could one day put an end to civilization, yet we hear little about it.
We need to decide - is it a desperate situation or not? If so, we need FAR more coverage and focus on climate change - what's being done about it, what we can ALL do about it, etc. etc.
32
@Rich It’s because Identity/Grievance Politics is basically the religious obsession of the prestige media now. They just have to write about it in all its myriad variations.
11
@Rich Fair point about more coverage of climate change, but please note that this piece appears in the opinion section.
@Rich they are all related. They all refer to acts of the more powerful agains those who are weaker, and they all have implications for human survival.
The women being raped and killed don't have the luxury of being anxious about climate change. Their life spins on the edge of their aggressors ability to rip away that life. The girls being body shamed in school are the rape victims in university; they are the ones who get to see "high achieving young white men" get token sentences while their own life is ruined.
The devastation of our natural world is related to the devastation of society's most vulnerable.
1
For females, it isn't just extra curves that are on the receiving end of unwanted judgment and scrutiny; it is pretty much every body type that a woman can possess. For those of us whose curves "never grew in," the teenage years in particular were an exercise in mortification! We felt "less than" and left out--and spent hours dressing to hide the lack.
29
@BHB - I was a teenage boy and had it just as bad. I shot up to 6'3" overnight and weighed 145 pounds. And if that wasn't bad enough (bean pole with no muscles), I sang in the a cappella choir...as a first soprano. In my junior year, my voice dropped a bit so the teacher put me in as a second soprano.
18
How dreary. Feminine beauty is as indisputable as any other kind of beauty. It has been celebrated for thousands of years by people of all sexes and sexual orientations. The problem is not beauty itself and it cannot be addressed by a puritanical response. The problem is what goes on in the minds of many (not all) men when they respond to this beauty. They cheapen it, brutalize it, scheme to control it. That impulse ultimately comes from out-of-control capitalism via its aggressive "ownership" of all forms of nature. Moving beyond patriarchy will not happen until capitalism itself is left behind. And socialism is not the answer. The answer lies in finding a way to transcend the commercialism which turns everything into nothing more than "product."
17
I think, rather, it's the animal in us. We can try to rein it in a little, but we can never get rid of it. Just as well. Without it, we'd have trouble reproducing enough to avoid eventual extinction
1
This article brought back many memories for me now that I am past 75. I was a competitive swimmer (and then rower) most of my life, also endowed with an abundant chest that I had to camouflage daily. Sweater sets were my choice, although that didn't work in the pool or the boat so I resorted to all sorts of things including almost deadly dieting to try to tone and lessen my supposed sexuality. Leering, whistling men were the enemy that I dodged whenever I could. Now that I'm old (yay for old age!!) I'm almost invisible and loving it! Hang in there, at some point you won't care what anybody thinks nor care that they don't notice you, it's pure freedom!
61
@Krismarch
Isn’t being invisible another form of body shaming?
I’m almost visible when I cruise around in my top down Miata. Body shaming when entering adulthood and on the way out. We’ve come a long way baby!
2
@Krismarch
Isn’t invisibility another form of body shaming?
I’m almost invisible too except when I cruise around in my Miata top down!
@Agent 99
No, it is nowhere near the same universe as female body shaming.
Even when still just as attractive as when young, there is such profound freedom in female aging out of the omnipresent and oppressive leering, obnoxiously intrusive male gaze. Older and no longer held hostage to that male predatory behavior doesn't stop the discrimination, emotional, spiritual, mental, and/or physical harm, unfortunately.
I understand your pain and frustration, but ultimately this is less of a women’s rights issue, and more of a reality issue. All men, straight and gay, are hard-wired to intensely respond to visual sexual stimulus. Is it fair? No. Does it place an ridiculously unfair and cruel burden on “attractive" people, especially young people who, through no fault other own, trigger these intense reactions? Absolutely.
But the most effective way to protect our children is to teach them the real facts of life, and not what we wish were the facts of life.
All men will gaze, all of the time. But that doesn’t mean that all men deal with their desires in the same way.
Good men will keep their urges in check until the woman is fully on board. Shy men will tentatively make their move and retreat at the first hint of rejection. Charmers will flirt with a certain joie de vivre. Seducers may or may not stop with flirting. Evil men will do whatever it takes to satisfy their darkest urges.
We need to teach our children that their bodies will, fairly or not, always be subjected to gazing, but we also need to teach them that it has absolutely nothing to do with their worth as a person. We need to teach them that all external beauty fades, and that what remains is the true measure of a human being. Hard lessons for a imperfect species, living in an imperfect world.
Life will never be a safe space. We need to plan accordingly.
87
@how99 - You put it perfectly: "...ultimately this is less of a women’s rights issue, and more of a reality issue." Evolutionary biology is a fact and the "male gaze" is not a malevolent creation of modern society. It is the ingrained product of our biology.
The key, as you explained, is what we as a modern society educate, encourage, and allow our young and old males to do. We can and must do better, but denying biological reality is not an auspicious place to start.
13
@how99
Communists failed not because they were cruel or severely restricted freedom but because they fundamentally misunderstood human nature, starting with self-preservation drive and self-interest, deeply seated urge not to be just a number and outdo others starting in acquiring wealth.
Communist real human-unfitting ideology of "equality" at any cost killed capitalist motivation to produce in order to profit and - in 1989 - masses without a single shot deserted communist system in exchange for much more attractive, glossy capitalist free market, plenty of goodies producing system.
2
We need to teach respect.
2
No matter how we feel about it, the elephant will not leave the room: libido exists. Although the objects of attention vary some by culture, among us it men who gaze at certain scenic views and the urge or its curbing or redirections is not a matter of personal cultivation or choice.
No discussion can usefully proceed without acknowledging that starting point. "Having it both ways...", freedom of choice, empowerment relative to past injustice, and so on. Funny, you never hear a good word for libido, not even an acknowledgement the elephant is in the room and won't go away.
Final thought about libido: it may be a case of regretting getting what you are asking for. Our society is as much suffering from diminution of libido as from excesses.
24
@Ben
By the value of good "libido" in the last paragraph, I had in mind the urge that makes individuals want to live together as intimate couples and as families and communities, and not only the physical expression of love. The growth of living alone is a terrible trend.
12
@BW Yes, the style of swimsuits for competitive swimmers are influenced by what female athletes want, which is to have the least resistance in water so we can swim as fast as possible. Thanks for taking the sport, and female athletes seriously!
15
@Ben
It is a matter of getting what you asked for. I remember years ago feminists would show this photo of a woman in a bathing suit in the early 1900s, and she was almost completely covered, and it was used as an example of how men require modesty and try to control women.
Women's "liberation" brought us recent trends and now they don't want to deal with it, choosing instead to blame hardwired biological urges that almost all men possess (not just the "bad" men).
A uniform is going to be, well, uniform, and right now the one style settled upon is largely influenced by what women claimed to want.
9
A reasoned piece, but, like much of our culture's religiously repressive tradition of denial and discomfort about sexuality, concentrates on policing reactions rather than first building accepting knowledge, healthy equanimity and inducing responsible behavior through emotional integrity and maturity.
There'll never be a world without a (primarily but not exclusively) male gaze and female instinct to be attractive - those modes of behavior and roles are hard-wired biologically. The key's to be honest and authentic about ourselves, not in denial (which always fails one way or another, often destructively). (And let's be honest - the lack of the male gaze or effort to attract can cause ire, too. See Sarah Silverman's bit on insecurity, telling of hearing a male whistle, turning in anger, and being told, "NOT you...")
The author only glanced at people being "little equipped to handle emotionally" sexuality and all of the potential interactions it presents - some fraught, some joyful, many somewhere in between - but that holds the key: our culture needs to be more emotionally enlightening and supportive to every stage of human life, particularly pre-pubertal through young-adult. It starts with body comfort, knowledge and acceptance. It starts with all of the non-sexual aspects. It starts with being frank about functions, differences, positivity. Being honest about the absurd exploitation of sexuality by commerce. Confidence through knowledge and acceptance. By having agency.
20
I gotta say that, about 20 comments into the reactions to this piece, I am impressed with the level-headed and sensible reactions by almost all NY Times readers.
If this were representative of the norm in our society, we wouldn't be having a problem.
I think it's pretty simple. We have to acknowledge that we are all sexual creatures, that athletic, exposed bodies are attractive, but that it's up to adults to keep a lid on it and focus on the task at hand (in this case, swimming) --especially when we are around teenagers who are still in the process of forming their personalities.
Carry on, good people.
42
Generally, people should wear looser fitting clothes. Both men and women. They're more comfortable, last longer, and avoid advertising the body shape. Many cultures adopt this perspective and at one time we did too.
16
@John - and what exactly is wrong about "advertising" one's body shape, especially if one is justly proud of all the hours at the gym, of the healthy diet and lifestyle that has been required to achieve such a good looking body? Pointless prudery and negation of basic human biology won't go anywhere.
19
@John
Ever try swimming in a sweat shirt and sweat pants? Or in other baggy clothes? It does not quite work.
Though if you ever fall in the water with your street clothes on, the best thing to do is to remove your slacks (after you kick your shoes off), sweep the waist band to catch some air, then hold tight to keep air in. It is good as temporary flotation device, and your legs can propel you better (a frog kick or side kick is your best choice).
Just a random tidbit I learned and practiced in a lifeguard class I took decades ago.
4
@John If one is trying to swim fast, a loose suit creates drag in the water and affects performance.
I'm disappointed that this article ignored the blatant racism regarding Breckyn Willis. Everything that Ms. MacLean says in the article is true, and I'm grateful to her for pointing it out, but the article doesn't discuss how, when girls and women of color happen to be "curvy", their body shape is weaponized against them for purposes of racial discrimination. It's clear from the context that Ms. Willis was singled out above all because she was nonwhite and had dared to compete in a sport that many white people see as "for" whites, and her body shape was the excuse to discriminate. The sexualization of the "curvy" and racial discrimination are regularly used by white people to oversexualize nonwhites, treating ordinary adolescent girls as if, merely by existing, they're dangers to public morality which "we all know that those sorts of people are". A double dose.
655
So was the reversal due to recognition that the issue was about embarrassment about sexual associations or racial ones? The injustice was reversed.
4
@Stephen Merritt As a POC, I tend to think there are unconscious biases in a lot of situations, but can you explain how it is clear from the context that this is the case here? Also, "weaponized" feels weaponized.
32
@Casual Observer
From another article I read, I beleive the reversal was simply due to the fact that the issue should have been raised before the race and not after.
20
Attempts to publicize sexuality or what men and women do or don't think about the appearances of the human body are self servicing at best- victimhood is probably a lot more likely the motivation. If you are a woman with attractive curves or if you are a woman without what possible good does it do to whine about it? Of course in an athletic event or any other event one should not be punished for either condition; but rewarded only on merit or athleticism. But to try to teach people that "the world should be fair and here is where we need to change how others see us is an incredibly negative approach to life. Stop that.
6
I’ve always been small chested, but when pregnant and breastfeeding, my chest for huge and full. It was fun, but also for the first time I was sometimes self conscious about how clothes fit me. I normally just throw on a tank top or scoop-neck dress without thinking too
Much about it, but with the larger chest, those clothes suddenly seems so inappropriate for a lot of occasions. Even a sniffer-fitting T-shirt makes it look like I’m intentionally flaunting the goods.
It’s hard to find clothes that strike the balance of looking like I have some figure (don’t want to loom like I’m wearing a sack!) without looking like I’m going for unwanted attention. One more thing to have to spend precious mental energy on.
12
@Itsy And have to spend more money on (for better-fitting clothes).
The fashion industry could help us out here a little, too. Fabrics seem thinner than ever, and clothing seems designed to make us feel uncomfortable, revealing more than we choose.
19
I have a beautiful daughter with a mature body for her age, and I myself developed early with unwanted attention. No one should be shamed for how they choose to present themselves in sports. However, my daughter, 14, plays beach volleyball, where girls as young as 11 are encouraged at tournaments and by beach vball associations to play in bikinis. I've frequently seen bikinis given as prizes and vball association-branded bikinis presented to girls at tournaments. I was grateful when the Northern California Volleyball Association instituted new rules about junior player dress, to help remove the peer pressure and bikini beach vball culture. Most girls in that age group do not understand the issue enough to make the dress choice themselves. And I'm sorry, I have never considered myself a prude, Puritanical, or the other adjectives used in these comments, but as a mother, I believe it's a legitimate issue--it makes me very uncomfortable to see young kids bodies spotlighted in this way with adult encouragement.
49
For better or worse the male interest always was and will be there, whether females try to either hide or exploit the way they look. Sad for young girls confronting this obstacle as they try to focus on their growth and dreams. Pole vaulter Allison Stokke's story comes to mind too. Sad too for women who are put in burkhas because men can't trust themselves. Nice article to call attention and create a dialogue about civil order. But the underlying interest is there no matter what and it's unlikely to change. It's what guarantees the survival of our species.
18
No matter what, whether the point of focusing on women's bodies is to say they shouldn't be sexualized or they should be sexualized if that's what the woman wants to do, we're still talking about women's bodies. Not a word about the work and talent it takes to be, for instance, a competitive swimmer.
With men, whether we think a man is attractive or not (speaking here as a heterosexual woman) the main focus of almost every encounter is on what the guy is doing. Is he helpful? Is he funny? Is he irritating? Is he going to-- serve the dishes I ordered? Give me a traffic ticket? Give a midterm test that actually covers what he lectured on in class?
Personally, I'm old enough and married enough not to care what men think of my body, as long as they're willing to pay attention to what I'm saying or doing that concerns them. As far as the swimmer in Alaska is concerned, the only relevant fact any one should have paid attention to was, SHE WON THE RACE. Nothing else mattered.
41
Wow. Wonderful writing. Thought provoking for this man.
10
Thank you for this piece. Reading through the comments confirms how necessary these conversations are. It confuses me that people, women especially, argue that “modesty” or, in the case of this teenager, somehow finding a new school suit uniform to cover her body is the answer. Regulating what women wear isn’t about sex/attention in the same way that sexual assault isn’t about sex- it’s an exercise in power and enforcing social codes. I remember my sister getting sent home from middle school for wearing a tank top with too thin a strap- she was 11 and looked very much like a little girl, with pigtails, jellies and blue jeans; there is nothing sexual, distracting or “unprofessional” about a little girl’s shoulder. As women, in most spaces, we are constantly reminded we are objects. There are also cultures where nudity is completely acceptable. I hope that readers will question the social norms at play here, rather than asserting that it is somehow inappropriate, “asking for attention,” or naive simply to exist in a body with noticeable sexual parts.
28
The ancient Greeks competed in the Olympic sports in the nude. I wonder how some modern rules makers would see that? Of course, women weren’t allowed to compete, so I guess they would be happy with that.
8
@HKS: That would make for some interesting wrestling matches.
Why should early adolescent girls be forced to wax or shave to participate in school activities in uniforms selected by their coaches? Does anyone have any say in this? At what point are the parents and teachers and players themselves complicit?
16
One aspect lacking in the AK swim meet debacle is how ineptly the disqualification was handled by the ref & coaches
If the disqualification decision was discussed with coaches & other officials before announcing it during the meet then the issues of body shaming, racism, etc. might not hide the basics of human interaction, decisionmaking & conflict resolution.
If we strive to improve the fundamentals then we might learn to minimize the impacts of poor adult behavior on children. From now on this HS athlete will carry the burden of an electronic reputational taint that was thrust upon her by an unnamed ref.
IMO the ref should have withheld & delayed her ruling until she met with the coaches. This could have been done before blowing her whistle.
Clearly the swim suit was a team issue. She had to wear it likely practiced in it under coach’s watch.This was not her burden to bear.
During the ref discussion the coaches should have convinced the ref of the above. If the ref was adamant then the coaches should have insisted that the race not be called until further discussions with other officials that evening or soonest. If the ref’s opinion was upheld then either the coaches could have made some tough adult decisions like calling a tie, disqualifying entire meet, etc.
Anything but blaming one innocent person. One of the pivotal teachers involved in the wrestling incident admitted that she should have spoken to the student in private. How’s that for an idea?
7
I see this issue (Breckyn Willis' DSQ) quite differently. There were standards that were known to the team and the school as well as the swimmers, before the start of the race (and at the beginning of the season, when suits were issued). Those standards of "modesty" were intended to encourage athletes and spectators to focus on the athletic capabilities of the racers and to create an environment in which people are not judged by their body or their suits.
When a racer does not meet those standards (defined by specific rules on coverage) in competition, should the judge not call them out for it? That would support fighting against sexism and unhealthy body-type comparison.
While it is true that the judge did not inform the team, as required by the rules, I think both the athlete and the school bear responsibility in ensuring that the outfit they choose meets the regulations, especially in light of the fact that a single size or style may not fit all body types the same. If two or more sizes have to be made or a suit has to be tailored so that it stays in place during the competiton, so be it. What was stopping the team from issuing a suit that was properly sized or even one that covers the thighs, like men sometimes wear?
Nobody -- I doubt not even the judge who disqualified her -- was out to shame the athlete. It was called out in the interest of enforcing a rule that was intended to protect the athletes and sport.
3
@Marc If the intention of the rules really was "to create an environment in which people are not judged by their body or their suits" then I think the enforcement of those rules was much more harmful to their intent than an ill-fitting swimsuit could ever be!
18
@G
This is the logical mistake I see in many comments, and the basis of my (rather unpopular) comment. In a competition, you strive to play by the rules. In a discussion about oversexualization of female athletes, you strive to make the appropriate rules.
I agree with the decision to reinstate the win to Willis, because the ref did not follow the procedure. However, I also agree that the referee was right to raise the issue, if in fact there was a rule violation. A swimsuit can be tested by the athlete prior to the race, to ensure that it does not ride up, in a manner that violates the modesty rule. If in fact it is inevitable, due the nature of the sport, then the rule should be contested by the school and athletes -- prior to the competition, and when the suits are being designed.
1
@Marc As a female competitive swimmer, I can assure you that no swimsuits will pass a pre-race test for not riding up. The standard cut of swimsuits ensures the risk of a wedge at any dive, turn, or kick. The point of the article is that this fact of swim life is deemed immodest on curvier bodies, while being ignored on others.
21
I, my daughter and my granddaughter were born with what became very curvy bodies. None of us felt ashamed of that.
We just refrained from letting that become an issue for our own selves. We were taught to stand up straight and to walk proudly, not to look at those who were objectifying us. We have all achieved in sports. I believe one should be taught that what body shape one has should be just fine.
20
My adult daughter is quite remarkably beautiful, thank you, and always has been. My wife and I coached her through these issues, in a healthy way I think, specifically including swim suit issues as that appears magnified with life around beaches and a pool (in Hawaii, at the time).
I think this author is in error, and a very unhealthy error. She seems nice, and I am sorry she never got the proper help when growing up.
I taught swimming and lifesaving in my time, including plenty of young girls. I was with my daughter at many of those beaches and pools. Thus, I know that swim suits are not one size fits all for either sex, and especially not for girls and young women.
You don't ignore that and pretend it isn't so. A boy who fills a tiny racing swimsuit in an especially large or small way has the same sort of issues, but girls have more. They need help. That is part of being their coach or teacher or parent.
Bodies send signals. They do. They always have and always will.
No woman is ever entirely happy with how she looks. She's too large or too small, but never just right. Surprise, in a very touchy way boys are the same.
Let's be real. Girls deal with boys by attracting attention. Boys deal with girls by attracting attention. For both, body is a big part of that. Don't pretend it could ever be any other way.
Yes, they must be aware of how they look. So as their teachers, coaches and parents, we must help them with that, with a healthy and accepting attitude.
90
@Mark Thomason Well said Mark. Sexual attraction is deeply imbedded in our DNA, and of course the fact that this attraction can not be willed away is the justification to allow LGBTQ people to pursue their interests. The only group that is not permitted to discuss or act on their impulses are men. One can't pretend that some attire arouses attention, one needs to be mindful of it.
15
The problem is how the signals are perceived by the viewer....
1
All women aren’t happy with how they look?..again, even how you view/perceive how you look is the issue.
Hear it out before judging: In general, it seems that fashion that used to be worn by “Ladies of the Night” to advertise their bodies has become the norm, it’s what we see in the summer streets of NYC. Teenagers with their parents are nearly nude and it seems to be OK. This type of fashion does its job: it calls attention to body parts, not their SAT scores. But, the visual message is what we see first. It’s difficult to ignore nude arms, legs and the tightness of garments. On TV, from anchors to reporters to pundits, all fallow the same “show body parts,” clothing. That was Fox Cable’s Roger Ailes model. Use glass top desks so that the camera could zoom on legs; of course, that didn’t end well, but the practice continues and women continue to comply, even on non-Fox Cable. Why? Specially since the this model dictates shelf life of women’s “attractiveness” which is relatively short. Post 40, many women are put to pasture. Why do women acquiesce to this model that is not beneficial?
People in general have different body types. Men, often have to have it tailored to fit their bodies. So do women, thus the “curvier” aspect. Glad to know that the teenage swimmer reclaimed her hard earned prize, this was an issue of ability. Though, the question remains weather a guy under the same circumstances may not have been sneered at, at the very least
15
@Ted - I live in the hooker section of my city and it is pretty hard to tell which women are just waiting for the bus to go to work and which are working the stop. After years of living in this neighborhood, I have learned that it is all in the shoes. The "ladies" own those heels and work 'em. And most of the time, the hookers are showing less skin these days.
The men aren't much better all walking around with their pants down to their knees showing their undies.
Unfortunately, most women get this kind of unwanted attention at some (or many) points in their lives. I come from a very tall and slender family (both men and women), took up distance running as a preteen, and hit puberty in the mid-70's, when very slender figures were in vogue. I remember men of all ages commenting on my figure, often lewdly, and asking me on dates or flat out for sex - starting at age 14. I had (and still have) a 34A bust, hardly "curvy." Starting in the mid-90's on, curvier figures came into vogue, and now I have had 30+ years of being called a "stick insect" or worse by both men and women, even though I'm pushing 60.
24
I have a daughter who attends a school that requires uniforms. Girls can wear uniform shorts, slacks or skirts. By far, the majority of HS girls choose skirts. Length of skirt is not regulated. Some of the uniform skirts worn are so short that they ride as high on the girl's leg as a swimsuit bottom. My point is that even a "uniform" can be manipulated. I don't care that the swimmer talked about in this article revealed more than the other swimmers on her team. But it is true that a uniform can be tweaked to reveal less or more. But telling the difference between a tweak and a natural fit would require a Solomon.
8
The solution of course is obvious. After decades of far too much freedom in what is allowed as appropriate attire for women to wear in public, we need to return to the modest requirements of the fashions of the Victorian era. Women’s dresses need to extend well below the knees, skin should not be shown other than the hands and face, etc. Any bathing costume needs to cover the entire body, with only hands, feet and head exposed. The 1960’s were the beginning, leading us to the deplorable and immoral situation we find ourselves in today. If we as a nation could just return to sensible norms of modesty, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.
4
I have been aware of this issue from girls and women since I was a boy. It’s worse in other cultures, much worse. I think that society may address some of it by changing attitude towards sex and treating all equally, but at the core people’s sexual attitudes are related to sexual reproduction selected through evolution. Culture verses nature, and it will always remain an issue.
5
This article is very well written. My granddaughter was 14 years old and already looked like Marilyn Monroe, complete with beautiful long blond hair. However, at 17, she's seriously considering having a breast reduction. I would like her to be proud of her body and that message should be reinforced by articles such as yours celebrating the allure of buxom women. Isn't it ironic that young women all over the Western world are having breast augmentation?
But my pet peeve is seeing women at the beach, young and old, wearing bikinis that leave nothing to the imagination, and men wearing the most awful looking baggy bathing suits covering their body from waist to knees. The only reason I can come up with is that men don't like to be compared and that women like to be looked at and admired.
7
The author's framing of the female body and men's attraction to it is fearful to the point of mental illness. Evolution has made reproduction one of humans' strongest appetites. That men automatically notice an attractive female form does not, for normally civilized men, mean that they can ignore social conventions and respect for the integrity and wishes of the female. I see very young females celebrating their developing womanhood with tight or revealing clothes. They mean to attract males and get the best date for the prom. They don't mean to invite aggression any more than a man in a nice sports car intends to invite robbery.
The proper reaction is caution but not paranoia and shame. Curves are not an obscenity.
41
My son is a swimmer and has been since he was young. As they hit high school, some of the young men and women experiment with smaller and smaller swimsuits. Part of it is trying to get an aerodynamic advantage in the water, since no water or air should be between suit and skin, which leads to a desire for smaller and smaller swimsuits.
But there is also an element of testing of limits by some young swimmers going on, both male and female, as they become aware of their bodies, fitness and attractiveness. In fact, on my son's high school team, at least a couple of times a year the female coaches would have a chat with the girls, and the male coaches with the boys, about the need for respect and reasonable decorum in their swimsuit choices. Often the coaches would ask them to think of the swimmers of the opposite sex as like their brothers or sisters, since they spent so much time together, and to ask themselves whether they would wear what they were wearing in front of a sibling. That seemed to do the trick.
13
Bet an official would never disqualify a boy for wearing a jammer that was too small and barely covered anything... and as a swim mum I’ve also seen plenty of too small suits on teenage boys. Women always seem to be the victims of body shaming.
5
When my daughter was quite young, we were approached by an agency that photographed young girls as models for the local stores.
When we saw what they did with those kids, we got her away from them.
It is the adults, not the kids.
This incident was the adults too.
First, they failed the kid in getting her into that. Then they failed her by going all sexual on her. She was just swimming, doing as she was told.
Teach a kid pride, and modesty, and how to accept what she has and live as she is with dignity.
Don't sexualize her. Don't teach her shame either. Those are two aspects of the same adult problem.
Love and acceptance and joy, they are the ways to teach kids.
17
A young woman’s attractiveness represents her rising power in society. Her athleticism and physical strength even moreso. That scares some people even as it excites and impresses others. Can’t have any of that...
8
The unfair removal of the honestly won prize was reversed. So what is the point? The issue is about how human sexuality is addressed by cultures, human societies’ rules of the road through life. Our culture is changing how the appearance of our bodies are considered by our society. It’s changed and not everyone has kept up with the change, but most have.
At some point in all of the reaction to changing attitudes about people’s appearances or diverse ways of being according to nature that disappoints society and the treatment of people accordingly, people with some sense of anger towards injustice want to end liberty and to replace it with strict controls over thinking and behaviors to eliminate all unfair experiences of all. They are promoting totalitarianism in place of liberty.
5
Does anyone find it a bit odd that the thing that came to the author's mind was "oversexualization"? "Over" how much? What is the right amount of "sexualization"? Let me guess: this is a call for new administrative positions in schools to teach us Proper Thought on gender, body image, etc. Applicants with degrees is actual disciplines (e.g., math, science, literature, etc.) need not apply.
7
The problem is not the suits or the bodies, but the 18th Century Puritans that still lurk among us, still in positions of authority.
68
Another reminder of schools abject failure to teach what's important. Reading and writing are essential but more important is how to relate to others. Even more basic is how not to abuse others.
If decency is taught, a few might be unable to learn, as a few are unable to learn to read. Bullying and body shaming would be an aberrant, sad behavior to be ignored or pitied, not affecting a child or adult self esteem.
13
@Oreamnos Speaking as a taxpayer, I want the schools to teach reading and writing and science and math and maybe home economics. But "how to relate to others" should be taught a) by their parents b) their day-to-day interactions with their teachers and fellow students c) our culture (books, plays, movies, TV) at large. In other words, through life.
I don't need it in the curriculum.
3
@Hobbled Well, it's pretty clear that "life" is not doing a good job of teaching people" how to relate to others" in a proper manner, so it's high time we looked for an alternative.
You may not feel that you need it in the school curriculum, but others do. In fact, sadly, the greatest need is often to counteract what children are picking up from their parents, teachers, peers, TV, and popular culture in general. In an ideal world, such would not be the case , but obviously this is not an ideal world.
4
Yes. Yes. Yes.
Now in my fifties, I still fight warring impulses between covering up with a cardigan and wearing the comfy dress that can do nothing but expose cleavage.
Your column made me realize I do both, and reminded me why.
Not long ago, I and a colleague intervened when a man persistently and creepily flirted with student-baristas who were neither interested nor felt empowered to tell him to back off (the curse of the dutiful service worker is to always be nice). They are not here for that from you, was our message.
31
@Clare
Good for you, Clare!
I have a true story for you. Friends of a friend.
Three women were meeting in a coffee shop. Nearby a young woman was trying to deal politely with a man, clearly a stranger to her, who seated himself at her table and kept talking to her in such a way that everyone could sense the creepy vibe. (What could she do? She later said she was wary of antagonizing him. If she were to leave the coffee shop, she would leave a zone of safety.)
Well. One of the women, thinking on her feet, went over and said “ OH my gosh! How good to see YOU again! Do you remember me? I’m Jenny’s MOM! And that’s Katy’s Mom! Oh, come on over and join us!”
The young woman gratefully joined the womens’ table.
Women, people, look out for one another!
1
I agree that female athletes should not be discriminated against based upon appearance. I wish however to talk about Title IX, which was a godsend to women’s sports and education. Athletic scholarships need to be available to men and women on an equal basis.
Some universities have embraced Title IX. My alma mater is one of them. I can say there is much to learn by watching women’s sporting events. The women’s basketball team of my alma mater lost in the Final Four. I had gone to pre-game events and noticed the women team members were very involved with the rallies, something, I never saw when I went to the men’s team prior Final Four events.
When the women began to walk off the court after their loss, the fans stood up, stomped, clapped, and cheered. The women stopped, looked back, starred at us, and we clapped more. In defeat they were our champions.
I also recall a track and field race when one of the women runners from my alma mater fell after someone stepped on her ankle. She got up, was cut and bruised, but ran and finished the race. The photograph was an internet meme that finishing a race is victory itself. That photograph has been an inspiration to many young women AND men to overcome adversity because a male police officer sent me that image commenting on how inspirational it was.
I don’t know how best to combat discrimination, but I respectfully suggest we push for more progress in Title IX.
15
This essay holds up a mirror to show how our cultural attitudes can rob people of their humanity and individuality. To paraphrase the brilliant Maya Angelou, as we know better, we must do better.
22
@New Jerseyan
"If you always do what you've done, you'll always get what you've gotten. ~ MA
1
The solution is putting women in control of athletic organizations, corporate boardrooms, the media and government. It probably wouldn’t eliminate the hyper-sexualism of our culture, but women would be a lot safer emotionally and physically as a result.
14
Huh. The judge who disqualified was a female.
1
Good points made, and well-taken, but the omission of the tremendous oversexualization by the news media, popular film and internet is glaring.
21
@Sage
"the omission of the tremendous oversexualization by the news media, popular film and internet"
Not glaring, this 'omission' because it's been the standard, ongoing, never-ending, all-day every-day NORMAL for CENTURIES.
Well before all the mere technologies you cited existed.
4
Thank you for writing this. It brought tears to my eyes. My daughter is a strong, curvy girl, who has been leered at since elementary school, so I understand.
She is also a club and high school swimmer, and I have to say that within the community of swimmers, buttocks and bodies of all types, exposed or just obvious under wet swimsuits, of all ages and sexes, are basically ubiquitous and normal. Swimmers care about being strong and having a good attitude, and for the most competitive among them, speed. This is healthy.
Some parents, officials, and inexperienced coaches, however, do a lot of damage by body-shaming and sexualizing the athletes.
I suggest they get out there in their Speedo’s themselves, every day at 6 am for 5 years, and then see if they can refrain from judging other people unfairly.
724
I agree with you. The swimsuits are designed for when they’re in the water. If it’s modesty they want and not speed, then they can create/buy “modesty” racing suits for both genders and risk losing meets. But no swimsuit will fit any two bodies the same way, and if someone needs to think about that, it’s the person ordering the suits not the students.
89
@Susan Thanks for this. With a son who was on the crew team it was a wonder to see how quickly the kids get used to seeing each other in their rowing unis and look upon their opposite sex teammates as fellow athletes.
18
Thank you for writing this - for sharing your insight and your experience. It made me remember at age 11 or 12 having my swim coach tell me off-handedly to 'have one less hot dog' - even though I was at a healthy and normal weight. Saying that to me -- a pre-teen girl, and dedicated swimmer (competing in the 50 yard freestyle and butterfly) -- was wrong. It was the opposite of what a coach should do. And it would have been wrong whether I was at a normal weight or not, and whether I was female or male.
It was discouraging and dispiriting, and has somehow stayed with me all these years - I'm 55. Our parents, coaches, teachers, and other leaders and authority figures have immense power over us when we are children. And the effects of their behavior and beliefs shape us into the adults we are ~ in many cases shaping how we experience life throughout adulthood.
24
I respect and appreciate Ms. MacLean's experience. At the same time, I wear a self-enforced uniform as a rule. I choose very conservative clothes that suite my body type and job function. I wear a variation of the same exact thing every single day. Fashion is not an issue. I'm adhering to an unspoken dress code.
Guess what? It works. I don't have to think about how I look or care how anyone looks at me. I asked my current boss on the first day, "Is this attire appropriate?" The answer was "yes." Not my problem anymore.
This is perhaps a product of wearing school uniforms as a child and teenager. However, I learned to make the uniform fit any social situation. The clothes conformed to me rather than the other way around. The crisis MacLean is describing is a crisis of confidence rather than body type.
Trust yourself, not the parental in-fighting of teen sports.
3
This is a fantastic approach to one’s wardrobe, unless you find a sense of joy in visual self-expression. I have sewn a great deal of my own cloths, unhappy with what is offered by the mainstream market. I also love colorful jewelry, typically seeking out inexpensive older pieces that suit my idea of beauty. In all, I’m something of a human magpie, in love with patterns that feel good on my body. That doesn’t give anyone the right or reason to dissect my shape into sexualized parts.
18
@Andy
I'm curious about why you think "very conservative" clothes suit your body type? And who has constructed the "unspoken" dress code to which you adhere? Saying that the clothes conformed to you seems the complete opposite of what precedes it...
3
@Jo H
Typically? A comfortable pair of work khakis a colorful undershirt and a polo un-tucked. My only sacrifice is wearing closed toed shoes. I would prefer sandals but that's a step too far. That's "very conservative" outside senior management and important meetings.
@Danielle
Good for you on being creative. I'm not creative in that way. I want to feel comfortable too. I feel perfectly comfortable in wearing the same thing every day. New York taught me that.
Blue, black, or grey. You can dress yourself in the dark and still come out well dressed. Your closet will be one-third of the size. Space is sometimes at a premium.
I have specialized clothes but I rarely use them.
1
Why in my high school did the boys have to shower in one large open shower room, while the girls had individual stalls?
Another query: Do girls or women ever wear some outfit to attract someone or to draw other women or men’s attention to themselves deliberately?
Another ?: Are women’s bodies thought of as being more sensual to both men and women as opposed to a man’s body?
13
We had an open shower for the girls too. Nobody ever voluntarily took a shower for that reason. If the gym teachers made us, we showered with towels wrapped around us.
1
As a sixty something heterosexual male, my heart goes out to women who must deal with the leering looks of men. Although a curvy woman has enormous power over men, it has long been obvious that they often, if not daily, must deal with attention they just don't want. Women can rightly expect that men not ogle them.
That said, as some readers have noted, the physical attraction of the sexes to each other is how we all got here. Men's eyes will be drawn to the sight of a curvaceous young or woman in revealing clothing. While women are entitled both to enjoy the power they have to attract men and to dress as they please without having men ogle them, they cannot be surprised to catch men's eyes when they dress provocatively. And on that note, as someone who works at a public university, I see that many young women these days wear pants so tight that they leave little to the imagination. I am in no way offended by this, but again, they cannot be surprised if they catch many men's eyes, at least for a second.
49
I support Ms. MacLean's points but would like to suggest that coaches, athletic directors and parents consider their choices of team swimsuits and gymnastic leotards to recognize the over-sexualization of all young female athletes and young girls in general. It would also be appropriate for adult female athletes to show more sensitivity with respect to the issue and set a new standard. Since when does prowess in beach volleyball require that the ladies wear the skimpiest of bikinis that surely can't offer much protection when taking a nose dive into the sand?
36
@teachergirl. Thanks for this sensible approach!
2
Okay, so since the motivation for the original incident was the "modesty" rule that swimsuits not be excessively revealing, whatever that amounts to, and since that causes you, Amanda MacLean, distress, because the whole implication is that there is something shameful in a body, isn't the obvious solution to have all athletes compete naked, or as close to that as is consistent with the demands of the sport and what preserves the health of the participants?
2
The news stories I could find suggest that the OFFICIAL team suit ( which Ms Willis was required to wear) doesn't provide much side coverage ( i.e., the legs are high cut). Also, this young woman, and her sister, are not only swim but weight lift for strength, and they are failry muscular. It really looks as if she was singled out for some other reason, and that the ref handled it badly. She swam in a later even the same day, with no problems.
If there had been a problem the time to deal with it would have been before the event started. Not after she won.
The big issues: this is not about denying our sexuality, or attraction to men or women.
It's about inappropriate attention paid to certain aspects of women's - and girl's appearances. It isn't flattering - or appropriate - to judge female's bodies as if they existed for your entertainment, especially when this involves public attention. A lot of us - who may be perfectly happy with our bodies now, have taken hits from inappropriate men since we were 8 or 9, and had no power to respond or sometimes to escape. This was very threatening.
In this case, the injustice was singling out a single female swimmer, not for breaking the rules, but because of how she looked in that suit. It shamed her, and over an issue she did not control.
27
I was thinking the same thing when i first heard this story. The young lady was penalized for something she had no control over.
20
@Craig But that initial wrong decision was reversed.
The first statement made by the judge who DQ'd this swimmer was that she makes decisions "on a case by case basis." This is exactly the wrong way to apply rules. If everyone does not have rules applied in a similar manner the end result is almost always discrimination. Having lived in Anchorage for 25 years, taught in Anchorage schools, and had both of my sons attend Dimond High School I followed this story fairly closely. I was pleasantly surprised that the school district administration did not simply bend over to the discriminatory behavior of the judge, but called her out for her discriminatory way of judging. In addition, in her zeal to punish this young woman the judge neglected to follow the rules of high school swimming in Alaska that prohibit a judge from DQing any swimmer without first informing the coach so uniform changes could be made if that is possible.
15
The smallness of the outfits required for the sports I might have been interested in high school kept me from participating. I imagine many girls, especially those of us with curvier bodies, stay away from sports where one is required to wear small/revealing clothes because we know how people will see us and treat us.
45
@Kate True, although sometimes the more "covered up" the clothing design, the more it seems to call attention to the curves. You need a talented designer to make it comfortable, reasonably attractive, and performance-enhancing for many body types.
4
@Kate
Good lord, I had forgotten that, it was so long ago. I was one of the premature developers, and suddenly felt overexposed and didn't want to attract attention -- plus so many sports required jumping around which is plain uncomfortable without the right bras - - and so basically stopped sports . . . . until my 20's, when I found things I liked again.
4
Eloquent. Beyond the puritan/prurient culture of US culture and its weird double standards and politicization of personal appearance (usually focused on women) it is also worthwhile for each sub-community to examine its own approach to this issue. Religious and Ethnic groups hyper-sexualize women each in their own way. But let's also not over-react. The concept of "modesty" has value for many of us but it is important to embrace a more easy going and less judgmental response to this "virtue", recognizing that cultural expression varies.
Best admit that the human body is beautify and requires no mystification or exploitation. Sacred temple but also something to laugh about. Let's celebrate it, yes, but not obsess or commodify.
2
About thirty years ago, an older friend was bemoaning that she had become invisible to men. I wasn’t clear about what she meant. Now I know.
I was walking down the street with a girlfriend my age, both looking good, in nice clothes for the evening, and approaching a throng of men standing in a group in the sidewalk. My gut tightened in anticipation of the inevitable looks and comments—and they didn’t happen. We were invisible!
I love having attained the age of invisibility to men. It is freedom.
37
I too am there except for the occasional leers of 60 men. But how sad that it’s only when men decide they are done with us that we are free. Still underscores the problem.
20
The importance of this content cannot be emphasized enough.
So many girls stop participating in athletics when they hit puberty because they feel awkward in the uniform — even sports where the body is more covered up, like softball. Puberty should not be a game changer for girls in athletics.
I personally quit dance classes when I hit puberty because I felt awkward in the costumes. Something I loved — ballet, tap, and jazz — I gave up. My mother tried to get me to stick with it, but even her encouragement was not enough. We have to stop letting society tell our girls to feel ashamed of their curves. I’m so glad Amanda MacLean wrote this!
714
@Corrie So true!, I gave up Ballet for the same reason, even though I loved it. In my case, it was a mom making comments about my body!! I was 13 when I stopped going and I still remember this other girl´s mom, a mom nonetheless, commenting about my looks in a leotard and how she thought I was too big to be using the standard pink leotard that all the other girls in my class wore. I never told my mom about it, I guess I was ashamed of the whole situation that I did not want to talk about it.
86
It was ballet for me as well.
34
@Lera
Consider it a blessing that you avoided all of the injuries associated with an activity not meant for normal people. These days it's hip hop that sets a standard by means of an exceptionally high bar that most people can't clear. You would think we live in an age where dance can be somehow woke instead of a joke.
5
"Oversexualizing female athletes is dangerous." How annoying --- and part of the problem. How about "sexualizing" female athletes is dangerous.
Even the title is stuck in objectification and the "pervasive"-ness the author speaks of.
And: "Although the issue of clothing may seem like a mundane one, in reality it can become a daily anxiety." Ask any woman —clothing is not mundane.
277
@Barb
I agree with all three of your points and I thank the author for her piece.
My experience of puberty was the opposite of the author's; late and not producing much of a chest. As a young adult it amazed me how complete strangers -often, but not exclusively male- felt the need to comment on my body and tell me what it was lacking. Now, in my fifties, I still receive strangers' review/critique of my body on a regular basis. I'm slim and on the low end of tall, which apparently gives anyone the right to tell me what they think about my body. I guess these strangers do not realize that their unsolicited comments about my body have made me feel self-conscious and ashamed of what they see as my good fortune.
My heart goes out to anyone who has felt or feels judged because of their shape.
102
@Barb I would go even further - sexualizing women is dangerous. Also, isn't part of the ideology that involves woman's curves tied to fertility? - which again reduces women to baby making machines.
2
@Barb
These complaints regarding "sexualizing" or "oversexualizing" are more germane to semantics than to the world of biological reality.
*Biology dictates that human beings ARE sexual beings. Full Stop. Complaining about this fact will do nothing to *change this fact.
If one wants to "change" sexualizing, or even "oversexualizing", these are things that must be taken up with the *creator of human sexuality, i.e. Biology and Mother Nature.
Mother Nature has but one Prime Directive. To maximize the number of offspring from ALL species on the planet.
Nature does not care what is "politically correct". Nature does not care what is "fair". Nature does not care about who appreciates, who applauds, or who is otherwise even "happy about" her work. Nature does not "answer to" piddling humans.
Nature simply *maximizes the number of offspring on the Planet via whatever means *work ! So, humans are *born to grow into sexualized beings. Period. It is not a conspiracy invented by "the Hierarchy"; it is the PRIME directive of Mother Nature, enforced by the her Laws of Biology.
Bemoaning the DICTATES of Nature is like "whizzing into the wind". It makes little difference to the overall Plan of Nature.
Society *must protect both genders of our young during the early ages of *becoming "sexualized" beings. But to pretend that "sexualization" *will not, or somehow *should not eventually happen, is to rail against the natural and *inevitable propagation of the species.
1
None of this hyper sexualization of women can be separated from many centuries of religiously-ordained shaming of women and their supposedly sinful bodies. That is the underlying reality that has created the situations described in the article.
40
Luckily I worked in Oman for years where I had my clothes hand made. As an Islamic country, all women's clothes were to be loose. This was an advantage to my curves and my comfort.
Having an hour-glass figure was negative while young because I had little understanding of men. Plus my top was two sizes larger than my hips so buying dresses was difficult. I also had to stop running because of discomfort.
I still prefer loose clothing. It is comfortable and more logical than skin-tight clothing. Ever notice jeans on men and women? Most women's jeans outline the legs and hips while men's jeans are loose and comfortable. I wonder why???
20
@Alice
When my wife brings home a pair of jeans for me to try, they'll be snug. When I look for a pair to work in the garden, I prefer loose and comfortable. That's a partial answer to your question. But your main point is spot on.
6
@Alice most men’s jeans now are not loose and comfortable but skinny or straight fit
8
@Alice
Just guessing but, anatomical differences???
As an adolescent and an adult female I wasn't even "curvy"--in fact I had more of an Audrey Hepburn-type body (and look how Ms. Hepburn was persistently paired in film with much older men!) but that seemed to be an invite for the male gaze and for constant male attention, uninvited and unwanted based on how "I looked."
And yes, girls and women were often hostile toward me, without even knowing me (!) just based on their being jealous of "how I looked"--that was the really painful part!
To be cast in a certain way by male values based on my appearance, and then to have it permeate through the society in which I belonged, affecting females in how they treated me and depriving me of an honest understanding of who I was/am. So dreadful actually to be affected in this way--and that's what the male gaze is about: power over the female.
When we say that "it's society" that measures and values women in certain sexualized ways, what we should say is that it's the male-dominated society we live in that casts women as ONLY viewed by how she presents herself physically according to the understood "desirable" standards applied to her by males.
As women we need to tell ourselves that we don't need approval on this level--instead we need to boldly set it straight when we are confronted by men or women who "size us up" based on how we seem "to look".
This takes courage but it's the only way we're going to change the power structure of being female.
15
@Cate I agree with your analysis. I am more of an Audrey-type myself, and it does nothing to stop the judgment of others about my body. Men still ogle and we have the extra fun of having people comment on our lack of curves which, as some of the rather strange men in the comments keep noting, are viewed as synonymous with womanliness.
5
@Liz: Thank you Liz for your reply to my comment--that really means a lot to me. And yes, I see your point about some of the male comments you mention. Let us be together in our womanly strength no matter what we look like!
1
@Cate People look at other people and judge them based on it. This is the norm, and you can't socialize it away, just the appearance of it.
For at least one guy, the article, and the comments, are eye opening. As I read, all I could think of was the stress injected into the most simple of decisions: what to wear today?
70
yes. I had a sudden real life realization a few years back about how much judgment comes with being a woman and trying to wear appropriate clothes in a business setting. If I wore no sleeves I would worry about my underarm hair; or is it a bit to much skin? If I wore a skirt -was it too short, should I wear hose, should I shave my legs, should I wear flat shoes or a heel? Can I show my toes in a sandal or is that against the rules? Is the dress I am wearing cut to low? Is this dress to form fitting. Might it be to sexy...and on and on....and let’s not even go into hair care and make up. ( in the early nineties I was reprimanded at my job as a leasing consultant for not wearing enough make up to work. )
Then I realized how easy men have it and I started wearing regular khaki or black pants, a long sleeve button down and a tie. And a jacket just in case. I no longer spend so much time worrying about my clothes and no one can accuse me of wearing inappropriate attire nor do I ever get uncomfortably cold in offices or conference rooms. Minimal make up. Problem solved.
4
A very timely and important chance for men and women to learn and address how we as a society treat women; young and old; as something much more than sex objects. It is both a challenge and an opportunity to honestly come to grips with how much of a burden it is to deal with becoming less than a human being; and turned into an object of fantasy/ scorn/ and judgements they don`t. deserve. It is part of human nature that sadly has been used to promote and sell thousands of products in the not so subtle message that if you want a beautiful women in your life; buy this. Now we learn that women have become so immersed in this culture they feel powerless to do anything about it except to hide and deny who they are naturally. I do not pretend to have the answers. Like most males I must plead guilty to the charge of instantly being focused to women with curves. I do try to remain respectful; and am trying to always remember to be a gentleman. But this is simply a fact of life that women need to take the lead on; especially teaching young women how not to be ashamed of who they are. This is the world we live in; imperfect as it is.
7
I haven't seen this mentioned here, but the swimsuit this young lady wore was the same suit that everyone on her team wore, and was the required suit. It appears to have fit her differently, as a slightly curvier young woman.
Ms. McLean is right. The punitive action taken against this young woman was nothing more than punishing her for having a fuller body type.
Even within a healthy weight range, women have a wide range of body types. Some are curvier, others have more angular figures. But they are all normal. Not to be sexualized or punished. I'm just saddened that in 2019 this kind of behavior by men is still so rampant.
67
@Donegal
The volunteer referee who DQ'd her was female.
I am not the least bit curvy - being one of those skinny types - but even I have consciously or unconsciously ‘dressed down’ in a variety of ways (and no makeup) for much of my life to avoid attention. I’d only felt safer to ‘look good’ when other women did as well, so that I wouldn’t stand out.
28
Curves in a woman serve a biological purpose. A woman needs large hips for childbirth and breasts for nursing. These same features also attract the male of the species. It’s all very simple until you muddle it with politics.
26
how is this political? This is about women being in danger. both physically, socially and emotionally, by men, and to a lesser extent other women, because of the appearance of their bodies.
17
@Edward
It isn't politics so much as religion. Somewhere around the third or fourth century C.E., a monastic movement began in the Christian Church. This movement included the ideas that sex is inherently sinful, and that women are evil because they excite sexual thoughts in men. (Note that no blame was placed on the men.)
Unfortunately, those ideas became a basic building block of the Christian faith, leading directly or indirectly to such things as executing witches (mostly female), and the foolish concept that nudity is something shameful.
Adding politics to the mix has exacerbated the problem, but that happens when politicians try to legislate things which they don't understand (a very large group of themes), and are not really amenable to legislation in the first place.
1
@Edward
I'm not sure this is true beyond a generalized sense that women and men's bodies develop for sex and procreation. But you really don't need large large hips for childbirth or big breasts for nursing. You can have very wide hips and require a C-section; very slender and deliver vaginally with no problems. The way you look on the outside says nothing about fertility.
1
My feelings on this article are mixed. I can understand the difficulties of being especially attractive or endowed for young girls. But I also know that those especially attractive enjoy substantial advantages and opportunities in life. Jobs come easier. Interviews go well. Teachers are more inclined to promote and give extra attention. And the choices with selecting a life partner are far greater.
The most prominent example is Allison Stokke. Perhaps 10 years ago, the high school track photographs of her went viral online. At the time, I am sure she and family were terrified. We are going far beyond being stared at in a shopping mall. Today she is a model engaged to a professional golfer.
I really am not trying to minimize the challenges described in the essay, and certainly not for young girls. But between those whose physical beauty draws stares and those not very attractive, I know who comes out ahead in life.
100
My thoughts as well. Over half the young women in high school and college are scantily dressed every day regardless of weather. They know exactly what they're doing. My mother always shrugged when it came to "oversexualization" (a superfluous modern word for what was always just called staring too long) and told young girls "Use it while you got it." I think many empowered and independent women are doing just that.
14
While beauty factors into the topics you brought up you're still taking about 2 different things. Something can be a blessing and a curse and how much of it does depend on the person and culture. I'm a conventionally attractive woman that has definitely benefited from beauty privilege. But the scars of constantly being objectified when I didn't want it means I have a lot of issues trusting the intentions of men even when I tended to get a long better with them than other women in the past. I don't mind if men find me attractive, I mind when they interrupt my life with lewd comments, ignore obvious body language that emphasizes discomfort and then get violent or upset when I tell then I'm uninterested when I'm just trying to go to Target.
26
@Richard
"But I also know that those especially attractive enjoy substantial advantages and opportunities in life."
You are supposed not to state such obvious, by milenia and billion instances-proven fact. The narrative should be: women are always, one way or another, victims ... and males the villains.
2
So well said. I'm over 60 and still shuffle through some of the same check points when getting dressed or shopping for clothes. I also developed quite early and experienced the comments and attention you've mentioned from early on. I felt so much empathy for this athlete.
As I got older, my thought about the the eyes of others became "this is my busty, curvy body, grow up, get over it." I've become more at ease wearing what feels good, especially in the summer.
But I still think about how my curves will be perceived more than I want to, even though I'm at an age where there's less attention.
Thanks for the thoughtful article.
32
The fashion industry has been using the body structure of a European woman for the construction of their clothing for decades. I am a 120 pound woman who, over the past 50 years, has never been able to find a pair of pants that fit. If the pants are comfortable across the hips, the waistband is drooping. Off-the-rack clothing has been a way to get merchandise to the public quickly, but prior to the 20th century women made (or commissioned) custom clothing that was meant to fit. We have the tools to return to that model. Scanners can quickly size, and those measurements can be used to modify the pattern digitally. The updated pattern can be printed wherever the garments are made. Maybe the receipt of the garment will take more time, but this can be done! And the added cost may be less than having "band-aid" alterations done locally. Ladies, we can gain great confidence when our clothes finally fit our bodies!
18
When I dress I also try to attract the least amount of attention. I am 100% successful.
18
I can’t imagining that having a nice figure isn’t more of an advantage than a disadvantage. I understand that there are both pros and cons, but am I missing something?
42
@Obviously Confused man I guess it´s an advantage if you are an adult, but the problem arises when we sexualize the bodies of pre-teens and young teens simply because these are very young humans who are still un-equipped in every sense to cope with that kind of attention. A 12-year-old, or even a 16-year-old don´t have the emotional maturity to deal with that, so in their case, it can actually be traumatizing.
18
Agree, but having an early developed figure is still easier than missing half your face or living in a wheelchair. That’s what I mean.
The story of the girl with the bathing suit is ridiculous but being forced to live your life with an admired body isn’t exactly a crown of thorns.
As someone who isn’t burdened with said problem, I may not understand, but the author seemed overly burdened as an adult with this predicament.
3
@Obviously Confused man-As an attractive young woman who's much older now I can say that it's startling and weird to be the object of unwanted stares and overtures --from complete strangers, acquaintances and work colleagues. Imagine how creepy it is to sit in a 1-on-1 meeting and the guy next to you is getting a hard on? Consider what extremely beautiful teens and women go through-- experiences like these in the thousands. They have to learn fast how to protect themselves, or be shuttered and shattered.
6
Objectification of females has and will continue until women become a more powerful force both vocally and in stature.
The sexual "norms" in worldwide cultures promote it. The issue has impacted my teenage granddaughter, and will continue doing so through school and further.
You can discuss this matter logically, but social media as well as the subtleties of eye to eye contact are forces that are preventing solutions.
I have and will continuously seek a way to help her reduce the psychological impact.
9
Adolescent girls need to be treated with total awareness of the maturational phase and vulnerable nature of growing up. There is nothing sexy in a twelve or sixteen or eighteen year old girl whatsoever and they need institutional protection, peer respect and friendship and parental love and devotion. Adults should view teenagers with awe and amazement as passing through a period of time that matters greatly to human character and adult heartiness and worth. Normal, uneventful and hopefully a reasonable period of maturation is what all teenagers deserve from the adult world,
18
The first rule of my high school swim team, 20-odd years ago, was "no comments about how ANYBODY looks in a bathing suit."
964
the second rule was what?
Reading these comments it becomes clear to me that shame is the problem. Women should not feel shame at their own beauty. Sex is not shameful. Physical attraction is not shameful. The human body is not shameful.
Our entire culture has been poisoned by this puritanical outlook. Re-reading yesterdays article on German nudists would be a good start.
71
@Sean
when the way you look generates a response from other people that is perceived as menacing , or is more than you can handle, then you naturally try to mitigate the situation by the way you dress.
Add in the way that women are sexualized and objectified in advertising, also pressured to always look good, then you get distortions of what should be acceptance and enjoyment of your healthy body
1
@Sean-Consider when young developing girls, teens, and older women get unwanted stares and attention--how confusing, demeaning, and even frightening it can be. That any teen or man has the license to leer, to make suggestive remarks, to physically touch and exert his will--possibly to the point of rape. I'm older and recall the culture's message that we're responsible for this unwanted attention and anything that comes of it, if the guy "loses control". That message is still alive on our college campuses, in our court systems, and in places where powerful men have gotten a pass for predatory sexual behavior. Reading this article would be a good start:
https://www.dailykos.com/stories/2016/10/6/1578544/-The-Untold-Story-of-Trump-Model-Management-A-Daily-Kos-Exclusive-Part-1
2
And part of the problem is the fashion industry, especially the cynical targeting of young women, with hairstyles, makeup, clothing and high heels, etc, designed to draw attention to those body parts that society sexualizes in women.
28
Maybe one size fits all isn't the best idea when it comes to swimwear. School districts have budgets and use these standard issue uniforms year after year that are naturally pegged to the average body type. Not exactly bespoke tailoring. A coach should have solved this.
12
@Frunobulax
So you put her in a modified suit--but she is then singled out, and everyone knows why! The problem isn't her body, or her body in the suit; the problem is the attitude that ascribed "a lack of modesty" to her--that is, the attitude that sexualized her.
The article reads as if written by a pudically hypersensitive, or hypersensitively pudic person. The human body exhibits the beauty of many mathematical curves. To wit, how long did Cubism last in visual art? In my humble view, excessive angularity is useful in some articles of furniture and the economy of space utilization in buildings, but one does not admire it at all in the shape of the bodies, be they human or animal.
20
@Tuvw Xyz
Telling someone who is expressing real experiences from which she has suffered that she is "hypersensitive" shows a real lack of empathy. Cubism? Space utilization in buildings? Somehow, I don't think the comparison is any consolation.
88
@CW I completely agree with your response. Every young woman's experience is different and valid FOR THEM. When I was nine, I was cast in a school production as the Cheshire cat in black leotards and tights. As a curvy, tall 9 year old, boys whistled at my body and I was intimidated. Luckily, my Mom counseled me about being proud of my emerging curvy body. It was an early lesson in body awareness. I was acutely aware that I would have to dress modestly for many years to come.
12
Sorry, but angularity is quite functional for sports and even attractive in a male. Curves are not. The Greeks understood this, and so did Michelangelo.
She obviously needed a larger sized swimsuit that would have fit in a way appropriate to the setting.
22
@Anne Competitive swimmers are supposed to wear their suits as small as possible, as it reduces drag and makes them move through the water faster. Making bigger swimmers wear oversized suits would give them a competitive disadvantage.
120
@Katy Bigger swimmers already have more "fluid drag" but they also have more flotation and probably more muscle. A bit more suit isn't even significant compared to the waves about them.
6
Nope, a larger suit would be baggy. She was not inappropriate; her suit fit; but she is curvy. That's all. She can't wear a skirted suit because of the drag. There is no easy solution to this, because the suit size is not the problem.
4
The "official" who meted out the penalty was a female. While the young swimmers ethnicity may have played a part in the initial decision, the fact that females have bought into the sexualization of norms imposed by Male Patriarchy in athletics (or otherwise) is beyond comprehension. This is simply an extension of "not dancing too close" as some sort of "standard" that has, as its effect, the regulation of conduct based on subjectivity...or worse.....outdated norms. Women need to take charge of their own lives and quit following the lead of "men".
16
These people would not even be in the world if their parents had not in some way "objectified" each other. What do you propose, a contractual agreement whereby objectification is allowed for a set period and then renewed if needs be?
14
@stan continople I don't agree that love is always objectification (though Sartre did argue on this point). I think it is possible to love without objectification but it would have to be rather unconditional. I've seen and experienced it so it's possible but pretty rare. In any event, you don't know the state of the mind about her parents at the time of her conception.
7
We are sexual beings. Who decides what is "over sexualized?'
Being insecure about one's body is a normal part of puberty and adolescence for both boys and girls.
But the remainder of Ms. MacLean's piece is contradictory to my own observations: I have a curvy, beautiful 17 year old daughter. From the time she became curvy she has specifically dressed to flaunt her appearance: buttock hugging shorts, bare midriff, and tight blouses. Many in her high school do the same. Why? Because it allows them to use their sexuality as power! When I pointed out that older men were looking at her, she shrugged and said, "I know." When the occasion requires her to dress modestly she does so. She is not uncomfortable with her sexuality.
As Al Franken's character Stuart Smalley observed, "It's better to wear slippers than try to carpet the world." Ms. MacLean would have us erase an evolutionary drive millennia in the making. Maybe the problem isn't society, but her her own lifelong discomfort with her sexuality.
155
There is a key difference in what the author is talking about and what you see in your daughter: choice. I remember being 13 and having boys and men start ONLY seeing my body and the boys ignoring who I actually was. This is what made me uncomfortable. I'm glad your daughter seems to embrace her sexuality. But I and so many of my friends needed boys and the women that constantly hounded us about modesty to see and respect that we needed more time to process this change. And for so many of the women I've met and talked to, this was the norm. That's not to say something is wrong with your daughter. It's to say that there are billions of girls and women in the world and boys and men should respect us enough to see our discomfort if it's there and back off.
39
@A Doctor
It's wonderful to hear your daughter has had an excellent experience with her life.
Is she also athletic? Jumping, running, or exercising, is different than walking around. Also, your daughter can choose her own clothing for school. The girl in this article and any on a sports team must wear a uniform.
Not every girl has the desire to flaunt (in your words) her body. Everybody is in a different place in life, and it's not necessarily being uncomfortable with one's sexuality.
In regards to your question - who decides what is over-sexualized - the official in this case punished a student for her body type. The official deemed it provocative. The entire article points out how girls (especially) and women with curves are over-sexualized - all over the place.
12
@Uno Mas
Healthy and statistically normal people, that includes post-pubertal girls and women, building on Homo sapiens makeup, result of untold milenia of work by wise Mother Evolution are rather early and then increasingly profoundly aware of sexuality-related forces to a great and in complex ways ruling over human behavior including the facts that female bodies,starting with "curves" have on opposing sex.
Doctor's daughter seems to have self-confidence and smarts to "play the game" of subtle or less subtle, hopefully sophisticated game of this part of life. She doesn't need to declare self a victim as she is indeed empowered.
6
I am so sorry. I was fortunate, didn't have a period until almost 17.
4
Leave the decision to the individual athlete. None of us can be responsible for what others think.
5
I had some trouble once oversexualizing mangos.
10
A dear friend of mine is beautiful, and quite buxom, beyond DDD, and she developed at a young age. It seems to me, as a result of years of fending off unwanted attention, she has a very resilient gutsy personality, and I wager that very few men would hazard a second uninvited inappropriate action. Not everyone's response to "adverse" circumstances are the same. Some of us endure the flames and are forged ever stronger.
25
@Jeanne Prine
Why in the world would you want to have a young person have to battle the leering eyes of men when she should be left in peace to focus on trying new things and her own real accomplishments?
5
As a woman with amble bosom and a beautiful figure, I was pawed, solicited, gawked at my entire life. My intelligence was ignored. I was never safe anywhere from inappropriate behavior from men and the envy and pettiness of women. I have written in my memoir that men asked my breast out for a date, not me. It was degrading and humiliating and caused me great emotional harm. I am 67 years old and a clinical psychologist. I will never fully recover from the experiences of being objectified. Thank you very much for this insightful and important discussion.
252
@Raye-I have been fat and ample most of my life. The thought of even going sleeveless fills me with dread. I have not worn a bathing suit willingly at any time in my life and am still traumatized by the comments made when I wore a leotard to mandatory ballet class (thanks, Mom). Even writing these words makes me shake. I have never been and likely never will be comfortable in my own skin, in anything less than clothing that is generally too much for the weather. Look at me? Please don't. Look me in the eye, not below the neck. I am married, I have children, but my body is a private, hidden space. This article is all about people like us.
43
@Ellen Private, yes of course, but why hidden?
1
@Raye-If a male asks a girl or woman's breasts out, say, "They don't speak." And either leave the room or put a fist out and say, "but this does."
4
I had the opposite problem. I entered puberty at 16 and afterward still had a figure like a boy. Shopping for a bathing suit was a nightmare. wearing it to the beach was worse. I looked like a 10-year-old boy, while the girls in my class looked like women. And when I gained weight, I still looked like a boy, only a "fat boy" as I was called by my sister. I always said to myself, "in my next life I'm coming back looking like a girl". I still feel the same way. It's that we expect women to conform to what society wants us to look like.
40
@anonymouse
I had exactly the same experience - my mother cautioned me to have patience as I would still look youthful when some of the curvy girls would eventually become curvy women - with all the attendant issues of looking good without dealing with male judgement.
I would say that I have had multiple discussions with my daughter - who is actually physically very beautiful. She is noticed wherever she goes.Interestingly she seem to believe that only 'worthy' men should look at her and is insulted when a construction worker is checking her out instead. Many many discussions about public appearance and the reactions that might not be welcomed - and how to deal with that.
Also booty shorts should be banned - for everyone.
7
Interesting take on this situation. As I followed this story last weekend and this week in the Anchorage Daily News, never once did I get the sense that the disqualification by the female official was because of hyper sexuality. It seems that the official didn’t follow the process (talk to the student’s coach before disqualifying the athlete), and may have been a more personal dispute.
11
Well, when a swimsuit, women's or men's becomes obscene, the wearer and her team management NEED to be called out.
Otherwise, why opt for swimsuits in the first place...
Oh, that's right...Specially designed swimsuits these days means that second-place finishers can now win using technology, not talent.
4
Ms MacLean, this article is much appreciated.
=> "Although our society holds a standard that romanticizes the hourglass figure, the truth is less romantic than it is salacious. You learn quickly that you will receive the attention that you don’t want, haven’t invited and are little equipped to handle emotionally."
=> "Adults will also burden you with their gaze and all of the unspoken judgment it contains."
=> "... it was easy to learn a paranoia about the male gaze, and the threats that could come along with “inviting” attention."
I think every parent of a female child needs to read above and prepare the girls for these horrible truths: they'll encounter it.
And just maybe Men, in general, will pause before they carry that glancing look into a "stare at the female body."
As a young girl, I became aware of this by age 11. I felt exposed. I hated it when men stared, I knew that look had dark, deep connotations, without even knowing what it meant.
I've never worn form-fitting clothing, much less, any clothing that exposes skin. As a physician, (wear slacks always) I'm always covered in a white lab-coat while working at the hospital/clinics: all buttoned up. One time a colleague of mine said off-handedly, I've never seen even a quarter of you, you're always covered up... this from a colleague of 5 years, married with kids, considered a decent man.
This taught me, there is no getting away from the scrutiny of the 'male gaze'.
I can only place a barrier between us.
94
When I heard about the girl's disqualification based on her swimsuit, my first thought was, 'How infuriating!' It was also my second and third thoughts. How dare those prurient officials take away something she had worked so hard for, just because they didn't like how her suit fit? (In fact, what they did showed how obscene their own thoughts were, which is why I hope they get fired. They should not be allowed to work around girls if this is any indication of their mindset.)
1149
@Liz
as a swim and water polo official I consistently see the female swimmers pull the suit up to make them basically thongs.
this is against the rules that we are instructed to enforce.
don't blame the official, he was doing what the people in charge demand.
think the outcry would be the same if another parent complained that the referee didn't disqualify the swimmer for not being appropriately attired?
read the rules. follow them. if you don't like them, get involved and work to change them. just don't blame the officials for enforcing them as written.
58
Well that’s the problem, assuming that the gal must have pulled it up as opposed to the suit riding up or not covering particularly well in the first place.
Also, like the wrestler with the dreadlocks that he could have worn the hair net over...they are supposed to address these issues *before* the kids get out there. How about reading *that* rule?
167
@Di I agree - the swimsuit fit should have been addressed PRIOR to the meet. The suits are worn every day at practice - if there was an issue why was it not addressed then. The Coach deserves the disqualification not the student.
27
This article touched home and it will have a life long lasting impact on the female athlete. All of us women undergo self sabotaging scrutiny over our bodies, harshly judging ourselves as we are harshly judged by a society and sculpture that hypersexualizes our bodies. As enormous amount of money is to be made by the ads and reaction of men to our bodies, the cosmetic, makeup, underwear and clothing industry.
14
So true! My tee shirts are always (to this day) larger than they should be so that I can wear them as a disguise. I'd rather look bigger than I am than show my body....shame instilled from an early age.
27
I think another issue, not posed by this article is the constant advertisement for women's clothing that pushes sexuality. Top fashions and styles that best work for for less curvy women only.
16
Odd that the article on “curvy bits” is illustrated with a photo of women’s crotches, which in most public circumstances are well covered.
And I am still not clear what was supposed to be objectionable about Breckinridge Willis’ bathing suit.
10
Is it now wrong for men to experience pleasure from looking at a woman's body? I don't know if this is a reaction that can be controlled.
36
@catlover
Two of the central tenets of modern hard-left feminism are:
- women should love and empower themselves, no matter what
- men should learn to hate and disempower themselves, no matter what
Arguing for the complete elimination of sexuality in human beings is arguing for the end of humanity itself. Stop being victimized by a reality you cannot change.
1
The issue is that women are being held responsible for controlling that reaction by hiding themselves. Men should just be figuring out how to keep those reactions from being an issue. It just seems so obvious to me.
4
@catlover
It’s very wrong— when the “woman” is a 10/11/12 year old child. An adult figure doesn’t always indicate an actual adult.
2
Let's face it: for all that women enjoy a lot more education and social freedom today, they are still regarded as sex objects. A threat to men. A temptation to me. Women must learn how to cover up or else. Recommending using East Indian outfits is not practical. We live in a western society. The author of this piece is at least analyzing social factors and calling for our awareness. She is to be commended. Unfortunately it takes more than one educated voice to deal with the problem. But, let's keep trying!
16
The Adams in this Garden ask for nothing more than God's greatest creation: well made Eves. And such creatures should recognize the power they have to rule and never complain about their lives added complexities.
6
My own feminist daughter helped me understand this whole topic better. She helped me to understand that no one "invites" rape, harrassment, or judgement by what they choose to wear. It is no one's business why a girl or woman chooses a type of clothing. The clothing is not the problem, it it the sexualizing of girls and women that is the problem. Women need to stand up for each other, and teach the men and boys in their lives that women are not an object put there for their visual enjoyment.
30
@MJ - Dress as you choose, but don't ignore basic biology. Yes, we must all practice good manners, but is it mannerly on the part of the woman to purposely wear an 'outfit' that leaves nothing to the imagination? She will get looked at. It is the natural way of things.
And she knows it.
17
@MJ: I would agree that nobody should ever be taken to be "asking for" being raped. But the implication you draw from this is absurd. Consider another example: A insults B using a racial epithet. Should we say that it is no one's business what sounds A chooses to make, that the problem lies entirely in what interpretations B and others wish to place on those sounds, and on their sensitivity?
No, that would be absurd, because it would ignore the fact that A and B speak a common language, and that A knows full well how B is going to take the message.
It is a plain fact that people choose the clothing they wear partly on the basis of how they will be regarded, looked at, or "judged" by others, of the same or the opposite sex. To deny the legitimacy of such reactions in the face of that knowledge is an interesting kind of inconsistency.
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@MJ
There are 2 million years of evolution that are proof of the exact opposite of what you say.
Women objectify men exactly as (or more than) men objectify women, only in a different way.
They are both equally as real, and will never go away.
2
"In my youth and still somewhat to this date, I learned to view my body as a threat, both to myself and to others. Taking care to cover those bits that act as a sexual signal felt like a necessary step to de-weaponize my body."
Where on earth did this notion of body as a threat come from? Certainly not men. These ideas come from gender studies that obsesses with female bodies and sexuality.
Instead of liberating women, is seems that Feminism is designed to make them hostile to their bodies and male attention.
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@Matt
With all due respect, you are really wrong.
Speaking as a man who grew up in a household of women (my father dying when I was 4); Fathering and bringing up 2 daughters, again as the only male in the household; and finally as the grandfather of 3 granddaughters, it certainly Was men (and boys).
I remember in the 1940s and 50s when female cousins would come to the house to learn from my mother and grandmother (both of whom had to work outside the house as widows with children) how to try to stifle the unwanted advances and actions of men. They were already wearing girdles in High School (and steel tough bras) but needed to know how to avoid the almost constant sexual abuse attempts they faced when going to work after high school.
Older women might tell you about how it was, if you ask in the right way. You'd have less luck with older men though. They usually are willing enough talk about their (real or imagined) sexual triumphs, but not so much about the bullying attempts that usually accompanying them.
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These are the kind of fights that take away energy and sympathy from far more pressing issues in the realm of women's rights.
@Matt
Hoo boy. I did not choose the attributes that I inherited from my mother. I did not choose to be catcalled and whistled at while I walked to school when I was fourteen years old. I did not choose to be sexually harassed at work.
I chose to become an engineer, and I did not need that kind of "attention." I am hostile to male attention when it is not about me, but just how I look.
Grow up.
4
"Although the issue of clothing may seem like a mundane one, in reality it can become a daily anxiety. You are free to dress as you like, sure, but never distant in your mind is the fact that how those clothes hug your body can be tantamount to a scarlet letter. " --
In his sports column in the New York Post yesterday - Phil Mushnick made the following observation at the end of his piece --
"Judging from Serena Williams’ Barney the Dinosaur outfit in the U.S. Open final, Nike played a dirty trick on her."
https://nypost.com/2019/09/13/roger-goodells-cowardly-leadership-betraying-nfls-true-fans/
Maybe if observers started making public comments like this about men - and the way they dress - people would begin to pay attention --
But when we still have major retail clothing outlets with names like "Men's Warehouse" - and - "Today's Man" - geared towards the macho image - it seems like we have a long way to go...
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@Howard G
Not sure what world you've been living in, but women judge men far more critically in the way they dress than men do women. You may not be aware, but every day there are women who size you up for who you are, how important you are, how much money you have, and how desirable you are, in an unnoticed heartbeat. My wife does this all the time. But, women reserve their harshest criticisms for each other. As Van Morrison wrote: 'All the girls go by, dressed up for each other.'
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@Howard G...
Well, surely no one in the room is going to comment about Cam Newton's looney outfits.
What a waste of really good cloth.
1
We are sexual creatures. We often pleasure in looking at and being looked upon by others.
We sometimes advertise our selfs. If you ride the subway you see many displays from both male and female.
This is an age old problem that requires sensitivity to place, time, customs and the particular activity.
One size does not fit all.
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@Richard Fried...
One doesn't not fault the peacock...
But having one fan its tail on a rush-hour subway train (oh, the image) is not the most appropriate use of the display.
9
Contrast this piece and the flap over a swimsuit with the de rigueur ensemble, a brightly colored, skin tight, sleeveless dress with a plunging neckline worn by every female newscaster, meteorologist and sportscaster in the US every day from April to October and beyond.
And that's fine. If you have to sell your body along with your mind to make the big bucks, that's every woman's prerogative.
I just wish that the cute weatherman on the Dallas CBS affiliate would do the weather in bicycle shorts and tank top. Seems only fair.
I mean what's good for the goose, right?
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@Julian Fernandez - the female on-air presenters are told by their producers what to wear and the producers' bosses tell them what to put into wardrobe. If you want to be a tv meteorologist, this is the price you pay.
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@Julian Fernandez
Your comment is not only smart but funny too.
1
Whiner culture, tangled web reasoning. Ere long this sort of thinking will have all of us looking like the cast of "THX-1138".
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You are allowing your puritanical morals to interfere with your judgement. You can't de-nature Nature. Females have curves to attract a mate but we pretend that we are not animals because we are civilized now and we must ignore the impulses that our natural instincts give us. Why not celebrate the female body the way they do in France? It's not dirty or lascivious to do so.
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@Jason Bourne An replying to Julian Fernandez earlier, you should see what TV presenters in France wear!
[[A simple T-shirt over an ample bosom is rendered obscene, and you mustn’t be too tempting. Dressing becomes an exercise in people pleasing, and trying to attract the least amount of attention.]]
Nonsense.
"Yoga" pants are now the default attire for women...almost none of whom appear to be going to or coming from a yoga class. Women appear to be putting as little effort as possible into getting dressed, to the point that you can not call it "exercise."
Imagine if a man wore bicycle shorts to work in an office...I would have questions.
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Not one person is going to have an appropriate counter for your correct viewpoint. Many women love to show off, some do not. If anything women have more freedom in their professional wardrobe than men.
2
In all probability it was a woman who blew the whistle on this 17 year old girl. The real tragedy around these issues is the hurdle that other women often present as they feel responsible for maintaining feminine “standards”. The brutal irony is that those “standards” were made by men for men.
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@Tony Francis
You are correct. The official was a woman.
1
@Tony Francis - And those "standards" made by men for men need not be adhered to by women. Certainly they are smart enough to know they're being "played"...right? So REJECT those standards. No one is forcing you to objectify yourself. This is 2019 after all. Women have the freedom to be whatever they want...to present themselves however they like. What would you say about the many women who actually love being the object of men's attention and fantasy? What about all those women who are absorbed by it?
I clearly remember being in fifth grade at my elementary school with a classmate who had the unfortunate fate of being quite cute and who had the developed the ample breasts of a fully mature woman.
She was a celebrity of sorts amongst her male classmates. We all thought she was lucky to have won nature's lottery, so to speak, and were too tone deaf to realize the hurt the unwanted attention to her figure would perhaps cause throughout her teenage years and beyond.
Being beautiful with an attractive figure is not an invitation to being hit on for sex, as my wife of 40 years and my 29 year old daughter will attest to.
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I have the exact same memory. I’m 57. I can still remember the 6th grader you’re talking about, and her demeanor. She was trying to sink into herself. I saw it then, I understand it now.
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Excellent description of our adolescence and beyond. This specific case should spur swimsuit designers toward innovation.
19
My daughter fought with me, in tears, when I tried to get her to let me buy her bras that actually fit her. "I'm not that big ! " But she was, with a beautiful figure. What a shame that we can't accept who we are. Most girls would've loved having a 36C bust at that age. She also thought she was ugly. Her pediatrician asked her if she'd taken a walk through the mall lately. And, he asked her if she'd thought about modeling. She really is quite good looking and photogenic. My daughter thought his comments were creepy, and maybe they were, but it just proves beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and it's too bad we can't accept ourselves as we are.
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@sehoy
Interesting comment. Maybe a little too proud, and insufficiently empathic of how your daughter feels.
What I find interesting is the idea of being "photogenic" or a potential model.
To me those are both very sexist categories, and filled with potential abuse from male photographers and modeling agency owners.
My daughter needed a 34DD at age 12. It made her teenage years very uncomfortable, and changed her self-image (for the worse).
Her interests could lead to her to L.A. someday, but she told me she's worried about the Harvey Weinstein types.
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@priceofcivilization. M'y daughter is 28, and her first baby, a daughter, is due any day. She worries about how her cervix looks, and that her obstetrician may be prettier than her. She calls me every day from Buenos Aires, but she hasn't sent me one picture of her while pregnant. She is very pretty--she didn't get that from me--, and God knows I've never criticized her looks or size. I can only surmise she got her insecurities from her dad, her classmates, or magazines. I don't believe your suggested criticism is warranted. My parents stressed brains over all else, and my daughter has that in abundance, too. I just wish the body image thing would go away. Kudos to the Alaskan mother who stood up for her daughter.
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@sehoy I'm with your philosophy. We have to accept and love ourselves, no matter what shape or size. That's what matters. What others think doesn't matter and while you seem to have learnt that, your daughter unfortunately hasn't been able to absorb it innately. That's unfortunate IMO.
As many comments here indications, for some these experiences are a forge - they make you stronger. For some, it becomes a life long piece of baggage. I wonder what makes for the different reactions and if there's a way to let go of the baggage and become "free" mentally at least.
10
Thank you for writing this and for speaking up for this young athlete. You describe something real and burdensome in a very clear and sane manner!
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Reading this piece brought me back over 40 years to my early teen years when I was convinced my early blooming was turning me into a freak. My supportive older sister, bless her, did her best to reassure me that I was not an oversized mutant but in fact, very lucky to have a beautiful figure. Alas, she was not enough to erase what I felt were the constant looks that made me so self-conscious I tried to disappear under oversized and loose clothing choices for many years. I still have those self-conscious feelings when I put on clothing that I think emphasizes my body curves. Some things do stay with you for life. Thank you Amanda, for writing about it so clearly.
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@Karen
We are all sexual beings, attraction is what insures survival of the specie. I can imagine that there are more than a few women who wish they had your problem. As a boy growing up I envied the athletic looking guy with a six pack and revealing speedo that exposed all of his curves and that drew the attention and gaze of nearly every girl at the pool. I was a skinny kid and intentionally wore loose boxer trunks and a T-shirt. As to Breckyn Willis yes it was stupid to disqualify her and I hope this does not adversely effect her athletic career of feeling of self worth.
2
I agree with you, especially your conclusion. We shouldn't be sexualising human beings (and yes, girls and women bear the brunt of it more than men from both men and women but there's a lot of it that goes the other way too). There's a lot of judging that occurs based on physical appearance. One thing I've fortunately learnt in life is that you can't control what others think of you: you can only change your perspective. By this I mean you spend an over amount of time obsessing over what others/society thinks of you. I'd say "don't care."
I agree though in the end we should raise our children and especially boys/men to not objectify other humans and even other living beings. Human beings are prone to such behaviour. Refuse to be objectified. That's all you can do. Sartre I believe had some of the guidance on this subject.
I also wonder about the extent to which Breckyn Willis case was more than sexism.
10
Thank you, Amanda, for sharing this. As the father of a wonderful little girl your observations are very relevant. You really made me stop and think.
Given all the irony in this Great Land, my daughters safety along with careful and thoughtful social engagement is always on my radar (along with her Jiu Jitsu lessons :)
The sexual assault rate here is higher than any other place in the USA. Combine quasi-religious backwoods conservativism with very little peer validation and you get ideologies - like the one that was applied to Ms. Willis - that run rampant on a statewide basis. I would also point out that 2 in 5 school kids (grades 3 through 9) are considered proficient in math and English/language arts, one of the lowest performing of all states. It is a shameful situation.
Focus and priority are obviously misplaced, and ignorance is encouraged.
Thank you again for the perspective.
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@mark
I agree with you that adolescents should focus on real accomplishments, including academics. They should also cultivate and celebrate through Athletics, their young healthy and strong bodies
@mark-Thanks for pointing out the sexual assault rate. Compounded for native teens and women who've brought their claims to the police
In small Alaska city, Native women say police ignored rapes
https://www.apnews.com/7f7546c65c474e97a0414488827ccd8f
https://www.washingtonpost.com/national/religion/in-alaskan-hometown-native-women-say-police-ignored-rapes/2019/09/14/ff1d138e-d6a7-11e9-8924-1db7dac797fb_story.html
1
Thank you for putting into words what I have spent a life time experiencing - as a female athlete, as a girl growing up and as an adult.
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@Denage
Don’t worry. I, too, was a “curvy female athlete” many years ago and truly suffered as a result. I came to welcome the anonymity of older age. How sweet the freedom from the male gaze!
2
I thought for sure when I started reading the article it would mention the several women of the US Women’s national soccer team that posed nude for the ESPN body issue. There were other women athletes as well.
As a grandfather, I can tell you swim meet attire and volleyball shorts as usually worn I don’t find to be appropriate but I’m 59. The young women and their mothers don’t seem to mind however.
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@Shamrock
And what if they did mind? My daughter was on swim teams beginning at age 5 and into college. There was never a time that the swimmers nor we parents were given a voice in the selection of team suits. I think it’s very likely that an athlete who felt uncomfortable about wearing the attire chosen for the team would be told to wear it or leave the team. By the way, Shamrock, you write that you assume the young women and their mothers don’t seem to mind wearing what could be deemed inappropriate athletic attire, what about the fathers?
18
@Shamrock The Soccer team members are adults who made a choice. I was a student athlete who was what was called "well endowed." The uniforms never fit right, sports bras had not yet been invented, and running was uncomfortable. Oh, and people called me "the chesty" one.
18
@TeriS
The swimming events I attended had all women coaching staffs and women administrators. It was not a high level of competition.
Excellent piece, and it hits close to home (I have a young daughter who has developed quite early). In talking with her, I let her know that modesty is a state of one’s character (the kind of self-forgetfulness that comes from focusing on a good goal—like winning a swim meet!—or serving others with love). Modesty isn’t how one’s clothes fit. It’s sadly ironic how a focus on modesty-via-clothing-control actually makes women have to think MORE about themselves (all that anxiety in front of the mirror), instead of letting them go on with their lives and use their own bodies joyfully as the subject... instead we are forced to continuously see ourselves as an object before others.
105
I love you that- modesty as a state of character!
5
The excellent reporting on this issue by the Anchorage Daily News appropriately kept the young woman's name private.
This author should have followed suit (so to speak).
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@irene What is the shame, and where is the need for privacy? The shame is with those who denied her and punished here at the event. The need for secrecy further suggests that the girl should be rendered invisible.
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@Apps
Keeping her name private is not about shame, and the need for privacy should be obvious, given the fact that the young woman is a minor, and (to my knowledge at least) has not made any public statement about the incident.
No one is trying to 'render her invisible' (except perhaps the official at the swim meet). The decision of whether or not to publish her name publicly should have been hers. You've heard of choice, right?
Young people her age who have committed crimes have their names withheld from/by the media. This young woman should have been extended at least that same courtesy.
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@Apps She’s a minor who is already being leered at by coaches and judged by swim moms. It’s not about shame vs pride, it’s about protecting her.
45
It is for all the reasons outlined in this piece, I quite admire some Islamic womens clothing and Indian saris.
Although I am neither a muslim nor Indian, I am curvy and can see the practical and freeing nature of the clothing.
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@EC Yeah, even the male clothes are very freeing - I think they work well in hot environments. These days, going the western route has become the norm for better or worse.
13
@EC
Travel to a Muslim or Hindu country (or even to Redmond, Washington, home of Microsoft) in the summer and you will realize that these clothes may seem practical because of coverage, but they are hot, especially where women are forced to wear black, and because of the layers. Not the least bit freeing!
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@Susan in NH
Of course color and fabric make a difference, but in some places it is so hot that taking off clothing does not make you cooler. And sunscreen literally melts off your skin. So covering up is not just for modesty, but to protect the skin from sun, insects, and dust. This was my friend from India's advice when travelling to India, and boy was she right.
36
In 1981, I lost a battle with my high school athletic department when I requested that my tennis team uniform (a mini dress with underpants), be changed to that of the boys’ tennis team uniform (t-shirt and shorts). 10 years later, the uniforms were changed.
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@Patty
The same should be the case with track uniforms. Even in international meets, women wear bikinis, whereas the men wear loose shorts and t's.
237
@mirucha the same with indoor volleyball and sand volley ball.
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@mirucha
Female track athletes could wear looser, less-revealing clothing, but feminists would accuse men of requiring modesty and trying to cover girls up. Many girls who like the attention would not prefer the new uniforms, and competing teams without such rules would laugh and point out that the competition looks frumpy in comparison.
These trends evolved for more complicated reasons than "men bad".
10
Our culture favors infantilizing girls, and currently, even preferring "androgyny" whereby, often, women with curvier bodies are seen variously as inherently sexual, attracting and soliciting attention, older, more mature, less youthful, lusty, even unattractive, and not as fun. They are seen as less active, and way out there. As a suburban mom, I get this feeling from mostly other women who have more traditional athletic bodies that they hone at the gym. It is more horrid if you are a woman of color with a curvy body- then you are also regarded as not classy, poorer, un chic, and so on. Out fashion industry, currently celebrating and hawking designs, further celebrates the bustless, thin waisted, angular girls and boys. For all its celebration fo diversity and wokeness, it is largely uncomfortable with female girth, and curves. It likes rigidity not soft lines. Even models of a certain age, are all extremely "sporty" in a very traditional sense. No-one has extra flesh, a normal aspect of aging. This is the hypocrisy of our culture, and it seems no one is challenging it. The unsaid , yet well absorbed message is wear minimizers, girders, Spanx to contain that body. We are still controlled.
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@Apps
Dear Apps, for what it's worth from a total stranger, I'm with you....and I can tell you that someone is challenging the hypocrisy -- my own body, and it sounds like yours. Maybe we have more power than we think? I was a true athlete for many years, and probably had the sort of shape you describe, but with age the extra flesh has materialised. Will I starve? No. Will I train more? No, I choose to spend my time in other ways. Will I go back to eating very few carbs and having high cholesterol? No, thanks, I'll take the extra weight, and I'm honoured to do so with people like you.
3
@Apps
really , to realize the woman who " invented " Spanx ( aka modern elastic corset ) has become a billionaire pretty much proves your point -
@Apps Right. The body type of the “Friends” women!
Compare this story with the rules of competitive women's beach volleyball, where, until the 2012 London Olympics, there was a stipulated MAXIMUM number of square inches of cloth area that was allowed for the bikinis. Not sure there was any minimum.
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@David Adams
It would be interesting to see the names and ages of the author(s) of those rules.
109
@David Adams as I recall, the Olympics was considering removing wrestling from the games because it's not a telegenic sport.
The rules were set to drive TV ratings and money. Similar ideas have eliminated figures from figure skating competitions. So now we see only the the most stimulating events. It's about money and what attracts audiences.
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@David Adams
Exactly. I was recently sent a youtube of a young woman's track event. It was truly eye opening. The outfits would make a hooters waitress blush. People can wear whatever they want and they shouldn't be shamed one way or the other, but you can hardly get upset if people stare. They would need more material to be a thong.
54
Excellent piece. Thank you for writing it. This applies not only to female athletes, as you say here, but women in every aspect of their lives. Women commuters must dress for work in a way that they hope will keep them safe and attract little attention. It is an exhausting way to go through life and, unfortunately, a task that many women are given from the time they are 12 years old and, as you say, this caution and awareness never really goes away.
417
@lainnj ...and don't forget, don't make eye contact with men in public, look at the sidewalk. I remember being told this in the 1960s.
4
@lainnj
As a woman, I find this comment ludicrous. Women *don't* actually dress as if they want to attract little attention. If we are honest about the way the world operates, women dress (the vast majority) as if they DO want male attention. Heels, short dresses, makeup, push-up bras, and endless attention to how we look and how we are perceived - we want male approval and attention. Let's stop talking out of two sides of our mouths. If I saw my female reproductive-age women covering up their bodies, cutting off their hair, and not trying to be as beautiful as possible, your post would make sense. Of course women don't want to be harassed. But use your logic - women are not trying to hide themselves!
4
@lainnj..If women do not want any attention, why do they go to all the trouble of applying various layers of makeup to their faces?
3