Back to School With Narrow Escapes and a Mother’s Love

Aug 30, 2019 · 25 comments
Kelly (Maryland)
A beautiful and brave essay. You gave each other the gift of space and time. Not many are brave enough to offer or receive this gift.
An American In Germany (Bonn)
“Luckily, in a moment of inspired problem solving, they’d handed their fake ID issued under a different name than their plane ticket to my ex-husband.” I don’t get this part, what is the problem solving? Why did they have a fake ID? And why not a real ID? And a side note, I don’t think people without ID are allowed to fly? Or... shouldn’t be? Anyways, best of luck to Ezra and fam.
TMaine (Maine)
Wait, this kid was cleared to fly with a FAKE id? And the mom thinks this good behaviour?
Nellie Burns (Ohio)
I had the same reaction - both to the writing and the whole situation. But I think what she was saying was that they had handed the fake id to their father so weren’t caught with it. Having no id was better than having a fake one in a TSA screening. But no, they shouldn’t have owned one at all. And I wouldn’t be happy that my child didn’t look back - especially one that obviously needs as much help and continued guidance as this one.
Karen (New York City)
Being a parent seems really difficult more so in this moment in time than ever ..seems half our kids are addicts / have ADD or some learning disorder.. gender dysphoria/ eating disorder .. some disorder . Is this only upper middle class white kids? Do kids in the projects have these issues? Did kids always have these issues and we did not know what they were ???
Nellie Burns (Ohio)
I am a professor at a school known for being LGBTQ welcoming. I have lots of students who are transgender or gender fluid. But this student would be among my most dysfunctional. They aren’t representative of their generation.
Cousy (New England)
As a mother of teenaged twins , I can handle a lot. But I’m not sure which is scarier - sending my kids off to college or going to a science based escape room. Probably the latter!
Stephanie (Jill)
My sons are only 8, but I will save this beautiful essay in my file - for the time I know I will need it downstream. Thank you.
JS (Holmes)
Beautiful, beautiful essay... thank you for sharing the truth of your family that can help other kids like your brave Ezra...
Cousy (New England)
Returning to college for sophomore year turns out to be a pivotal moment for many young people. At some colleges, the retention rate is unexpectedly low (looking at you Sarah Lawrence!). Folks applying to college should look at that number - less than 85% is questionable. If there’s even a whiff of trouble (mental health, substance abuse, divorcing parents etc) then returning to college becomes an iffy proposition. Congrats to this parent and kid for making it work. My best wishes to them this year.
michelle J (massachusetts)
I love this writer!! More more more please!! What a wonderful piece. When is the next book??? They are all terrific and make me laugh and cry and relate completely. Thank you for publishing this writer.
Gina (Oklahoma City)
What a wonderful article! I love reading your stories!
Trey (westport, CT)
What a lovely, honest story! I've read so many taking my kid to college tales, but never one that so moved me. Thank you.
cheryl (yorktown)
Humor will help you roll with the punches. Ezra is in for so many challenges, the usual for a college freshman, but amplified, which means YOU are in for a wild ride. But their calm handling of the Zombie business impressed me with their problem solving skills.
Patty (Nj)
Sounds like a tough year for all of you and I wish you the best. I do hope that you changed everyone's name for this article. College kids read the NYTs.
Ann (Boulder)
Thanks for this marvelous, heart-warming story of a family triumph! I wish your family happiness in the days and years to come!
Ann (Boulder)
Thanks for this marvelous, heart-warming story of a family triumph! I wish your family happiness in the days and years to come!
Suzanne Rico (Los Angeles)
"And I pictured the umbilical cord, that awful feeding tube and a river of love connecting us." I love this line. Can see the author there at the airport, saying goodbye. There are no guarantees when it comes to our kids--mine go to a new middle school next week and all I can do it hope for the smoothest ride possible. Thanks for this story.
sg (nj)
"At some point, our children ride the current of love away from us. And that’s the way it’s supposed to be." Annabelle, I was doing just fine sending my twins to college for the first time this week. And now you've broken my heart. But thank you for an exquisite essay. Best of luck to you and Ezra.
David Krigbaum,DDS (Wausau, Wisconsin)
I think most parents these days have some element of "helicopter" in them. I've often wondered why? When I was a kid (classic parent statement) my parents didn't know what I was up to --nor really cared. As long as you were not bleeding or have anything broken-your good. We had to figure things out for our selves. This generation of of parent/kid bondage is wireless--never able to break away. That's why I sail----no phone.
Ann (Boulder)
@David Krigbaum,DDS This story is about the power of love, not about helicopter parenting. The writer’s being a “helicopter parent” has ensued a productive life for her son, who endured more than his fair share of challenges! Parent and child lifted one another up! A
Ann (Boulder)
@David Krigbaum,DDS This story is about the power of love, not about helicopter parenting. The writer’s being a “helicopter parent” has ensued a productive life for her son, who endured more than his fair share of challenges! Parent and child lifted one another up! A
Bob Jordan (Potomac MD)
@Ann, funny, I thought the child is a daughter not a son. I wish the mom and ex-husband lots of luck with their child and I hope Ezra finds whatever it is they need to succeed as they wish.
Elise B (Los Angeles)
I love zombies. I love escape rooms. and I love this mom and kid's story! Beautiful, funny and poignant. Thank you.
Danielle Roche (River Forest,IL)
Love, loved this! Thank you, great finish. Ezra is everyones’ hero/heroine in a anxious world where clean living is one of the hidden but true antidotes. Will share this with my three college age sons who know. I am a sober mom of 5 years.