I can't believe self-hatred like this is encouraged. What would any sane person say if a parent was subjecting a child to binding? There is no doubt they would be considered abusive. Why should anyone support children in doing this to themselves?
im a transmasc, who has had their first binder for a few weeks now. now even when im not wearing it, my chest and back always hurt. its getting harder to breath. but, it helps with dysphoria- so idk. but it's really painful for me. i also wear it for like 10 or 13 hours each day. its not my choice, but i cant take it off on the school bus, so-
As a trans guy I’ve been binding for numerous years. It wasn’t until yesterday I realized the severe risks of wearing a binder. I was in the restroom literally just standing doing nothing and I fainted and fell on my face and fainted again. Before fainting I felt a deep pain in my ribs but I thought it would go away, with binding you just have to go through the pain but unfortunately that isn’t the right way. I am now trying to find other alternatives for a binder :(
1
I'm a teenager, and I'm a transgender boy. I've been binding for a few months now and I've alwyas been extremely careful and done it safely. My therapist and doctor have assured me that safe binding would not cause problems described in this article. If a person binds for an exaggeratingly long time, while they sleep or in the shower it may cause health problems but safe binding respects your health.
For all of those who are saying stuff along the lines of "these girls are butchering their bodies" just think. Imagine waking up with the other sex' characteristics. Everyone tells you that you're a man/woman but deep inside you, you know they're wrong and it hurts. It hurts everyday to know nobody will see you as the gender you truly are, it hurts to wake up everyday and see the wrong body in the mirror, to tell youself that the person in the mirror isn't you. This is what trans boys, trans girls and non-binary people feel everyday. Respect us and our choices, we just want to live in a way that's comfortable to us
2
As a trans man, I bind everyday, if I don’t go anywhere, I don’t bind. For the women in this comment section who think this is internal misogyny? It’s not. I don’t hate the female body, I just know for a fact that this body, isn’t the one I feel I should have. Women are absolutely beautiful, breasts are absolutely beautiful, but I feel incorrect when I know that I have them. I don’t hate my body, I just feel such a strong discomfort.
3
I wonder if I were born male instead of female if, all else being the same, I would feel uncomfortable in my body. That is, would I feel more uncomfortable than the various discomforts people feel without questioning their assigned sex.
I don’t know the answer. I first think no, that we get used to being in our own skins. That I’ve never felt super attached to being female, but I don’t mind it. I haven’t found it to be super oppressive. Socially or otherwise. I feel lucky that I don’t have strong feelings, and that my self worth, while not always stable, has not been linked to being a particular sex.
But then I think, what does it even mean, to be internally female when externally male, or vice versa? Are we still dualists about mind and body? The visible sex organs are but one part of our sexual makeup. Hormones and glands and neurons and and neural pathways shaped by and shape each other ... well, I’m not a doctor. But if I continue my thought experiment and imagine having external characteristics that don’t match some internal systems, that seems potentially deeply uncomfortable.
It seems like the term dysphoria, straight from the DSM, is giving a needed name to the discomfort, but steering the conversation further toward a problem of “mind” where it becomes the arena of armchair psychologists. We like to be able to understand others, but we can’t always do it by overlaying our own experiences.
This is interesting to me because, I have a friend who is transgender. I couldn't imagine how it felt to hate the body you were in. I couldn't understand why someone would go through all of that pain just to look different. I have never felt like had to change my appearance because of what others would think. Have never thought of myself as a girly girl, but, I have never thought of myself as a boy. I have never put much thought into my gender. I am who I am, and I don't want to change it. If i want to look "pretty" Ill wear i dress, if I'm playing sports, Ill wear sports clothes, but a lot of the time i wear what I want when I want. So it was a but hard for me to understand why someone would physically harm themselves to create a more "perfect" image of who they are. Everyones version of "perfect" is different. To me, being "perfect" is being me, but to someone else, being "perfect" is being a certain gender, a certain hairstyle,a certain personality. And I think that maybe, if the world was more accepting, or if the world wasn't as naive and opinionated,maybe more people would feel at home in their bodies, maybe people would love themselves more.
8
I have a few FTM transgender friends and it's hard to understand what they are going through at times. This article gave me insight on how binding can effect a person's body and mental health. I always thought binders were like new sports bras, they're kind of tight when you first get them but they don't hurt you. This article showed me that binders due hurt a lot and can damage your ribs and organs. I understand now why I can't convince my friends to join cross country. It would be terribly painful to run with a binder on and the amount dysphoria isn't worth taking the binder off.
The Transgender community goes through many struggles with their body image and mental illness. A lot of the time society and people who don't respect them makes their issues worst. I my not be Trans myself but I feel as if reading and learning about the obstacles our Trans brothers, sisters, and siblings have to go through would help us understand the struggles they go through while transitioning. The fact that even getting binder for people shouldn't be such a hassle, since it would helping their mental health and transition. Binders are a relief and a pain to many transitioning men and we as a people should at least due are best to respect and try to understand their struggles.
2
@Catherine
The content of your post above, as well as your other numerous posts here, indicates that you believe that all who bind their breasts or have them removed are women or girls. Is that in fact your belief, or do you think that at least some people who bind their chests or have chest surgery are transgender males? Some males and females who do not identify as trans or nonbinary also bind or remove breast tissue; are mental health issues responsible for their decisions as well? What is the source or sources of your opinions regarding this issue?
4
@Catherine — this is simply untrue. Properly fitted binders do not cause harm. The deliberate misgendering is rude and childish. It’s obvious that you don’t actually care about about the health and safety of transgender people. Trans and gender nonconforming people make some people feel deeply uncomfortable and threatened, for some reason. Why might that be? I suggest posing and answering that question to yourself.
7
I’m a cisgender woman and the way that I understand trans people’s struggles is this: sometimes I wake up in the morning and my body is wrong. My face is wrong my hair is wrong my body - ugh. I imagine that’s the way trans people feel every day and it must be excruciating. I feel extreme sympathy for people who have to endure this every day so whatever they have to do to make themselves feel at peace within their body - power to them.
9
I bind as well. Unfortunately though I have IBS and GERD so I have to be careful about binding, or it can exacerbate my acid reflux. Also I have generalized anxiety disorder, and I get shortness of breath when real anxious, so wearing a binder isn't ideal either. I have a large chest and a couple years ago I decided I wanted to get to surgery. That's the only thing that will help my dysphoria.
4
As a person of a certain age, I do wonder if some of the more judgmental commentators here might have considered transitioning, had we been given the option in our youth. Just a thought.
7
It is indeed wonderful to read about people who are able to live in the bodies that are correct for them and who find relief from great psychic and spiritual pain, but on some level of the stories are very sad. They always seem to speak to the anathema of the female body. Perhaps it’s me, but the media overwhelmingly reports on the challenges female bodies present to non-binary and female to male transfolk. The stories always center on the trauma of living in a female body - not just the wrong body. I can’t help but wonder why we don’t hear more about the trauma of living in a male body. I’m a cis-gender woman. I can’t possibly understand the trans experience, but what I can see and hear are the constant critiques and attempts to control and manage the female body. I can’t help but wonder if in some layer of this there isn’t a relationship with society’s internalized misogyny and society’s long-standing fear of the female form.
6
@Patricia
Focus on transgender males and transmasculine individuals is quite new. Transgender women have been covered much more frequently, which is understandable given their greater difficulty in passing and greater violence directed against them. They are also invariably the object of many jokes and discriminatory comments. Until quite recently, the term "transgender" was almost synonymous with "transgender female". Bathroom bills instigated by religious extremists have manufactured fear of transgender women in women's restrooms while completely ignored transgender men, who also use restrooms. In the past couple of days, there have been several articles about transgender women: transgender women at Goldman Sachs, as well as coverage of several murders of transgender women.
Media coverage of the full gender/sex spectrum is on the whole a good thing, and these articles about binding can help increase understanding and acceptance, as well as providing useful information to those with gender dysphoria about their chests. However, there is a danger that the comments section will be overrun by those with a clear anti-trans agenda, such as One Milllion Moms; the NYT should be aware of this and provide responses to some of the commentary.
10
@childofsol
I don't think it's reasonable to decide someone is "anti-trans" because they are struggling to understand this. Some women (I'm one) are disturbed at the notion of hating or feeling disgust for breasts, feeling you have to hide them or eliminate them, or you can't go out in public because people might see them - whichever sex you are. (There are men with breasts, after all.)
That's, yes, disturbing. Is it so hard to see how those of us who HAVE breasts are disconcerted to hear about people who find the very notion unspeakably awful?
I think those feelings and questions are legitimate, and it doesn't mean we're anti-trans.
15
@DW
1st reply not posted, so will try again.
No one is accusing you of being anti-trans. But there are individuals who are virulently anti-trans and they are active. As LGBTQ people have gained more acceptance, these individuals have learned to frame their beliefs in ways that are harder to identify as hateful or discriminatory. "Concern for children" plays well, which is why these individuals work hard to paint the youngest cases as the norm.
It is valid to have feelings one way or another. That doesn't mean that expressing them in ways that are harmful to others is okay. Whether some of the derogatory commentary stems from hurt feelings or something worse, the effect is the same.
Particular feelings are almost always influenced by the individual's prior experiences and beliefs as much as the facts on hand, which in this case are about others' personal choices. The majority of trans people are women, which if we use your argument, would indicate societal disgust with males and male equipment.
But one thing that the hurt feelings over breasts illustrates is that we have constructed a reality in which the role of breasts goes far beyond feeding of young children. It should come as no surprise then that cisgender and transgender males and others identifying as other than mostly-female, would desire to minimize or remove their breasts. To be clear, the fact that our world of fetishized breast tissue has been constructed in no may negates the reality of that world.
4
My daughter 15, binds a few days a week since she only has 1 binder (a friend bought for her) & it's been a journey for both of us this past year. I don't like it but I see that she trying to figure herself out. We have had private conversations and I told her I would help navigate whatever it is she's struggling with. She also wears "high impact" sport bras and a few regular bras. I observe from a distance and so far, I see a straight A, musically gifted (piano) kid who loves her friends, her PT job and enjoying summer. I also see a teen who is ashamed of her body, binds & hides w/ sweatshirts & long pants in 80 degree weather. I'm not sure where this journey is going, if this is normal teenage awkwardness or true loathing her body. I check in with her often ...because I know how easy it is to have a teen switch and suddenly close off a parent. Even the subject of shaving is taboo because both of my teen daughters snap back "why do i have to? I'm not ashamed...are you?" For those reading who do NOT have a tween/teen at the moment - this generation is different. It just is. Teens have an entire viral life that we aren't apart of. What they read & view, who they're communicating with...& that's a powerful force against parents. All I can do is hold on, help her navigate these years safely & forget the "when I was a teen" stuff because it's just not applicable anymore.
23
@Anne I don’t have any words of wisdom for you. Just keep supporting your child and trust that the love and acceptance you show her now will help her grow into the person she’s meant to be...whatever that means for her.
8
@Anne. You are a great mom. And I agree with you, there is a whole virtual world our kids navigate that we do not know. I actually do like it that girls feel they do not have to shave. How liberating.
2
@Appalled Physician
1. Any number of children or adults - including perhaps Anne's child - who are struggling with their identity or identify as transgender are reading this article and associated comments. I use the pronoun "they" when gender identity is not clear-cut or the person's desired pronoun is unknown.
It is interesting that the only part of this exchange you found worthy of commentary was the use of pronouns, rather than family dynamics, adolescent development, or other topics a less-appalled physician might find of relevant.
3
Sorry to see that folks are still wondering why trans folk need to bind. Here's a simple explanation. Imagine you woke up tomorrow knowing exactly who you are but in a body that was the opposite of the gender you knew yourself to be. All attempts to return to who you know you are, are met with derision and criticism. Every visible part of society tells you who you should be based on their perception of your gender. Your parents, friends, teachers all do the same. You are rejected by those that purport to love you when you express that you need to be who you are.
What would you do? How long could you live this way?
Now you may have some idea as to why the completed suicide rate of trans folk is the highest of all groups.
AND, Gender identity has nothing to do with sexual attraction. They are two different continuum.
14
Did you know that in the 1920s, American women by the millions bound their breasts to get that 'flapper' look. My mother who was a young woman of that era must have known that and agreed to sew a vest-like binder at my request (see my comments above). That was almost a hundred years ago. So each generation had their reasons for binding.
7
But what exactly is at the root of this? What does it mean when these individuals say they are experiencing body dysphoria? If gender is a social construct, does that mean you are not comfortable with the roles of your assigned birth gender? But women (and men) have been challenging these concepts for decades without the need to transition. If you're sexually attracted to the same sex, then you're simply a homosexual. But alot of these individuals push back on usage of the term "gender dysphoria." Why can't we simply call things what they are? What is really at the root of someone wanting to look like the opposite of their birth, god-given sex?
14
@Elvis Why is it any of your business? You’re not entitled to a full explanation of why people are the way they are. And in the scheme of things, hiding one’s breasts seems pretty low on the list of human sins and strangeness.
17
@Elvis
...and I would further ask, "what is at the root" of so many murders and beatings of transgender men and women?
Perhaps you could provide an explanation?
9
@Kimberly Most of the people quoted in the above article are NOT teenagers or children. It’s awfully convenient to write this off as the behavior of misguided children, but it is untrue.
Female-bodied people have been binding their chests for hundreds of years, for various reasons. Among them: flappers, suffragettes, athletes, soldiers, and yes—trans and non-binary people. Also, there are plenty of accepted forms of body modification that I personally find repellent and suspect, but they are touted as normal and even “empowering” by many third-wave American feminists. Where is the handwringing for breast augmentation, push-up bras, body con dresses, stripper heels, and the many millions of women who contort their bodies in a desperate bid for male attention and validation? Ask yourself: why is the sexualization of female mammary glands accepted as normal and healthy? It’s actually quite odd if you take a step back and think about the obsession adults have with breasts.
The desire to control and define female bodies and human sexuality is very tired, backwards, and helps no one. You are correct about that, but who is trying to control whom here? Think about what you’re saying: girls and women must unequivocally love, accept, and flaunt their breasts; if they don’t, they are mentally ill and/or misogynists. How is this a feminist line of thought? Seems more like plain old fashioned sexism to me—deeply concerned about the heterosexual male gaze and what it deems attractive.
3
Whatever happened to the all-important principle of accepting yourself, loving yourself as you are? Attempts to change one's body go against that, especially surgical changes. It strikes me as a first step toward suicide. One assumes an unreal identity and then expects others to understand and accept that, when it is going against Nature. I understand that there is a mental condition underlying this, but what happened to learning to live with it? In the movie, "Nasty Habits," there's a wonderful climactic conversation between a nun and her Mother Superior, where she says, "what do you with a paradox?" and the Mother replies, "You live with it." It seems to me that the professionals who provide services to trans-people have gone overboard in facilitating what amounts to self-mutilation, and particularly in those too young to understand what they are doing.
11
Much as the title of this article states some trans and non binary people commit suicide without being able to change their bodies into what it SHOULD be. Saying it’s not natural and they should just deal with it is extremely discriminatory.
1
It would be interesting to know how many people have actually committed suicide because they couldn’t bind. If anyone knows if and where those statistics are available, please share. Thanks.
9
@Robert M I'd think that specific statistic would be roughly impossible to find. It's not like people who die by suicide fill out a questionnaire. And there's often not one cause. However, we do know that transgender boys are at greatly elevated risk for suicidal attempts: the American Academy of Pediatrics published a study last year which found that over 50% of male transgender adolescents report having attempted suicide, compared to 14% of adolescents over all.
9
I'm completely accepting of any sort of person, my first lesbian friends were in 1976, my first trans friend 1984, only to say familiarity and acceptance is not a struggle for me, I have no conflict. I both know it is right to enjoy diversity, and have had as I say, friends. Friendships matter a lot, nobody can convince you of a thing more effectively than a good friend.
My observation is that all the qualms of youth, the identity struggle, the angry young man struggle, and in modern context the sexual self identification struggle, are just a flash in the pan and indeed in the long run a huge bore compared to career/work struggle, relationships, sickness, deaths, luck, hardship etc. - the classics.
It's a huge mistake to centralize identity issues & minority issues. So many people are never fully comfortable in their own skin that discomfort is practically normal. The ultimate minority is each of us alone as an individual human. These popular culture focus points simply do not compare to shared struggles that all individual humans suffer in common, and it's borne out by literature, music, and art. Sexual relationships are a huge factor in the human condition, but there it's the interplay between two human psyches that dominates, not physical form or self identification. Gender identity is kid's stuff.
19
What a dismissive comment. Your “friends” must be so pleased to know that you view them primarily as tokens and evidence of your own “tolerant” worldview.
10
@CK I say reread this story if you think that "the identity struggle" is just a "flash in the pan" and a "huge bore." If it's "binders or suicide" well, I say this is a serious issue which ought to command more attention and understanding.
6
I submitted my story to the original request, but since it was not included I wanted to say a few words here. I bound on and off from around 2008-2017, when I had top surgery. Back in 2008 there wasn't as much information on binding available, but I followed the guidelines that were out there. Although I did try bandages, they don't stay up so I only wore them a couple of times. A few years into binding, I started having breathing difficulties, but I didn't make the connection, since I thought that I was binding "safely". It's only in the last couple of years that I've realized that my ribs are warped- I noticed that they didn't look "normal" and on inspection it's clear that they've been damaged by binding.
Although I believed it was "binding/top surgery or suicide" for a long time and spent much of my teen and early adulthood depressed about my gender, I recently found a different perspective. Yes, I have true gender dysphoria (diagnosed), but I've gone back to living as female because of personal (not religious) values. Since doing so, I have a pretty negative view of binding, considering my situation. I bound safely and still ended up in the situation I'm in, and as it turns out, it wasn't as life-or-death as I genuinely thought at the time.
Unfortunately, this is something of a contentious stance to take. I don't have any negative feelings towards those who bind, but I do think we romanticize them by calling them life-saving when they are just objectively harmful.
48
@Andy, I'm sorry you had this experience and very sorry your story was not included in the article, which seems to glorify the very harm you experienced. I wonder how many other stories of binding harm were omitted?
8
I know the last thing these people want is my sympathy, but reading these comments made me enormously sad. Top surgery is expensive, and many can't afford it--and yet for so many, it's so important. My heart breaks for these folks...
14
Sex and gender identity are too different constructs.
Kudos for breaking down the gender barriers, but it seems self mutilation like binders described here just reinforces societies biases for what men and women ‘should’ look like.
If you never learn to love yourself for what you are and what you look like you will never be happy, never be able to love another and always chase an elusive ideal.
An extremely painful existence.
Let’s treat the problem here, not the symptoms.
We will look back on this period as morally wrong and will have damaged a whole lot of kids by offering extreme body shaping or surgery or as an alternative to accepting and developing the ‘self’.
32
In theory, I agree. But what my trans son has highlighted to me is that so many of my middle-aged Mom peers are struggling with the same thing only in the prism (or prison) of their gender identity as they engage in relentless hair dyeing, Botox, breast lifts, makeup 'fighting age every step of the way' et cetera. And yet where is the collective tsk-tsking for that behavior? Am I incapable of having a loving relationship because I can't accept what my teeth would have looked like without braces?
My son is happiest when wearing a binder. As a toddler, most at ease wearing his favorite boy shorts. As a young teen, delighted to have his hair buzz cut short. As a late teen, he wears a binder most days... It is who he is.
14
You cannot seriously compare a girl destroying her breasts and health with a binder to a woman dying her hair (which is temporary), having botox (which disappears after a few months), having a breast lift (which does not damage the breast) or using make up (which can be washed away at night).
3
I'm a non-binary, transmasculine person who binds. Unlike a lot of these folks, I really struggle to bind consistently, as the fear of long-term damage, and just constant discomfort (I overheat easily and have claustrophobia exacerbated by tight clothing) discourages it. As an alternative, I wear unpadded sports bras and very loose men's/unisex-cut clothes, and hope for the best on days I cannot bind.
I wish more people understood that this dysphoria is deeper than just disliking your body shape. It's not a feeling of dislike, it's a feeling of wrongness. Of disconnection. I desperately want to be able to wear tight shirts and dresses comfortably, and I cannot. Not because I think I am ugly, or unattractive, or have unrealistic standards for my body, but because I feel like I have been born into the wrong body from the start. Because people cannot see my body as anything other than a woman's body, and neither can I. But i want to be able to embrace my body and grow to love it, and bonding and top surgery is a step towards that. You would not shame someone for building more muscle, or cutting and dying their hair to feel happier in their body. Please do not shame me for getting rid of breasts I never asked for, so I may be happier too.
19
No it is not normal or "the human condition" to feel like you were born into the wrong body and have no sense of connection with your physical self. I am a cis-gendered woman (born female, never felt like anything else) and, though I may have felt unhappy with my appearance at times, I never felt like I was living in the wrong body. Your comment is dismissive-- you are not listening to these folks and their stories.
4
Not agreeing, is not the same thing as not listening.
5
Thank you for sharing and helping readers understand that binding can be a life-saving measure.
9
I am interested to see that all the examples in the article and all the comments in the comment section seem to be from females who want to appear male or non-gender. As a heterosexual female with uncomfortably large breasts, I wish something as simple as binding were available for us. I have never been able to wear "fashionable" clothes, even though the rest of my body is completely average. Do designers rely on binding for their models?
7
@arjayeff There's nothing to say a cis woman can't use a binder if she wants to do so! (And just for future reference--trans men and nonbinary folks aren't female, and don't just appear male/nonbinary--they are! A commonly used alternate term would be "assigned female at birth," or AFAB.)
6
@Emily Male and female sex are OBSERVED as a scientific reality at birth (in most cases). There is nothing arbitrary about such an observation. The term "assigned" is not used correctly and this practice should be discouraged/ removed from any description of the reality of sex.
20
@arjayeff
RJ, maybe you could work on saving your money so that you could get a reduction mammoplasty from a plastic surgeon? Nothing prevents normal heterosexual women from having their breasts made smaller and their lives more comfortable.
4
I'm not particularly confused or questioning about transgender - but I am when it comes to the following from one person featured in this article (R.J. Russell)...
..."I’m currently training to run the New York marathon for the second year in a row, and I’m starting graduate school at Columbia University in the fall. These are things that I would not have been able to do without a binder."
Marathon training and grad school at Columbia are entirely reliant on a $14 binder (three for $49 on eBay)....?? I'm at a loss to even begin to deconstruct this. The suggestion here is that I should assume the immense talents of the late Stephen Hawking might actually be attributable to his wheelchair?
31
What does the price of a binder on eBay have to do with anything? I’m perplexed by this illogical comment.
Stephen Hawking’s intellectual gifts had nothing to do with his wheelchair, but I don’t doubt that the wheelchair made his life much easier. Saying that X makes doing Y possible, does not mean that Y is solely the result of X. Any significant goal or breakthrough is the result of many different factors.
My advice? “Deconstruct” less, and don’t worry so much about what other people are doing with their own bodies. Peace.
11
@Wilson1ny
It's simplly a question of confidence. He couldn't have done these things without the confidence to get out into the world, and the binder has enabled that.
9
@Wilson1ny I think what the person is trying to say is that the psychological effects of their body dysmorphia would stop them from being able to focus on academic or sporting activities, not that there is a direct correlation.
6
I had breast cancer in my late 60's. After my double mastectomy, I was told by my surgeon and by the hospital's plastic surgeon that I had to have a series of extremely painful surgeries to implant fake breasts. Extenders would be inserted with a pump that would stretch my skin; and after months of torture, the fake breasts would be added. I was appalled at going through this agony and advocated hard for them to leave me alone. My occupational therapist told me that if I had had those extra surgeries creating deeper scar tissue, it would have made the lymphedema I now have unmanageable.Chest reduction surgery is simple and painless by comparison. How hypocritical that top surgery is considered inappropriate when women are shamed into reconstruction they don't want or need, because of the cultural monopoly on what females should look like.
70
@Ellen - If you felt shame, that's on you not doctors who offer alternatives. You are playing a blame game.
4
@CK
Those doctors did NOT "offer alternatives"- they forcefully insisted that I HAD to have those cosmetic surgeries and were furious when I said no. It seemed obvious that money was the issue.
22
@CK
Ellen had cancer. She couldn't just arbitrarily decide not to go to her doctor appointments. When you are sick, you need to trust doctors to help you get better. I think it is quite credible.
12
Dysphoria--a word I had to look up, though I kind of figured out the meaning by reading the letters here: either a feeling of joylessness in general or a great dissatisfaction with one's body and/or gender.
Maybe my story isn't relevant, but I can relate to the stories of dysphoria because I was unhappy with one aspect of my body all my life. I hated the nose on my face. From early childhood on, a family member had teased me about my unattractive nose. So, when I finally had the money, at the age of 32, I had surgery to reshape my nose, a rhinoplasty.
The surgery changed my life because it changed my perception of myself. Looking back, I wish that I had possessed the confidence, the chutzpah, to not need the operation. I did need it, however, and I don't regret it. For forty years, I have felt pretty, and that has been important to me.
Now, I have a beautiful, teen aged granddaughter who is convinced that she is transgender--that she is really my grandson--and I am trying to accustom myself to think of "her" as "him." I'm not totally there yet, but I am working on it. Just today, I mentioned to her/him ("them' is what I'm supposed to say) that I had to put on my bra before I drove her somewhere. Usually, around the house, I don't wear one. We had a laugh together about the similarity of bras and binders.
Like I said, I'm "working on it," because I love my grandchild.
61
@Cassandra
Thank you for this reply that is full of so much I can explore.
I am, understandably, filled with doubts about the path my granddaughter is on and concerned that whatever I do or say, even with the best of intentions, will be the exactly wrong thing. Even worse, though, might be failing to do or say the exactly right thing.
Now, at 15, she is making choices that can harm herself for years to come. Most of the time I think of her situation as a kind of mental illness, which is not a PC view, I know. But I don't care. She is my grandchild, not some celebrity's kid that I'm just reading about.
Almost everyone goes through adolescence hung up on what it means to be the gender we are. Why does it seem as if now, at this particular point in history, we are seeing so many young people viewing themselves as transgender? I like your term, "a social contagion." Maybe so.
Whatever is going on, when the circumstance hits close to home, it throws us onto an emotional roller-coaster. Thanks for reaching out.
1
I feel bad for anyone who feels the need to do something drastic like this. People should be allowed to do whatever they want-- but I think doctors should do whatever they can to get these people to to accept their natural bodies-- maybe that's easier said than done, but body-modification probably isn't going to solve their root psychological problems. And I'm sure there are plenty of people who have used these techniques and procedures and been unhappy with the results, so doctors have to be really careful with this stuff.
24
@The Last True Liberal
You seem very confident that doctors are experts in this field.
8
@The Last True Liberal
I am a therapist who has worked with many transgender folks and every single one of them has felt so much better after modifying their body that they no longer need therapy. Some people continue to have issues regarding the reactions of family and other people in society. But for themselves they are happy at last.....
10
@Emma Nora
We do need more rigorous independent longer term studies, you are right. But your theories of longer term effect aren't reliable either.
3
Thank you for asking readers to share their experience with chest binders. As a child I was sexually assaulted and as I grew into maturity I too felt the need to diminish my breasts. I wanted no one to look at me as a sexual object. While different then the experiences share here, the feelings of being out of sync with your body is similar. My heart goes out to them.
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I’m proud to say that several years ago, former students of mine at the Boston University School of Public Health and BU School of Medicine developed a survey on chest binding that wound up going viral and international. See published article by Peitzmeier et al. http://transfigurations.org.uk/filestore/binding-project-postprint.pdf
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@Candice B
Nice to read your comment - just as I was (also proudly) posting a link to my student's work, above. Of course he cited Peitzmeier et al!
Thank you for printing this addendum. I hope these narratives serve as a helpful lesson to the reporters at the New York Times, who failed to get it right the first time around. Relying on sources of bigotry for 'facts' is seldom the right approach and encourages the spread of misinformation.
However, a follow-up in the Reader Center hardly garners the attention a front page story receives. Perhaps next time, the Times can focus on these voices in your leading story rather than giving undue and overweighted attention to the sensationalized 'concern' of those that seek to repressively control the lives of trans people.
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@Amelia "Failing to get it right" is an offensive way to describe a story you did not agree with.
Personally, I enjoyed reading today's story (which I had no trouble finding, as it was served to me on Twitter) and learning from the men directly about their experiences with binding.
But the idea that there is only one correct way of thinking about the binding issue is a symptom of the bullying that too many trans advocates engage in. It's counterproductive.
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Mine is a story in contrast. In the forth grade at age 11, I started my period but my breasts never developed past vacant parking lot stage. Two years earlier I had broken my upper right arm...
my chest was wrapped and bound tightly to my upper arm for months. I have always wondered whether this was one of the causes of my breasts being so small and gender identity conflict in later life. It is certain that it diminished my self confidence.
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A good read for those people who need to be reminded that transgender is not a life style choice. The physical and emotional pain that these people go through is just terrible. It is a privilege to be born into a body that feels like your own.
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@Jane, Well, a lot of us think it is a choice.
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@Ryan a lot of people used to think the earth was flat, as well, but most of us have since moved on
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@Ryan it’s not a choice. It’s scientifically proven.
Breast binding isn't new. My mother routinely did it at the beginning of the 20th Century. She wanted to be flat-chested and wear those dresses that flappers wore when they danced the Charleston. It was the style then.
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I'm glad we have safe and effective surgery to remove breasts.
It might be really great if we could move on from our compulsion to look at everyone's chest.
But that might not ease the dysphoria these folks are describing.
Certainly we could try to keep from commenting on any breasts.
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I am truly humbled by learning about the myriad ways that my fellow human beings can suffer that I never heard of and can't imagine. Your own hell can be a very private place. It's heartening that people are connecting, learning they're not alone, and finding practical solutions to feel better about themselves. Peace to all.
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Ambivalence towards one's breasts is not confined to people with gender dysphoria. I struggled to find bras that offered comfortable support and didn't seem to make me too overtly a sex object all through my teens.
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Are these people receiving mental health counseling and treatment as well as unhealthy physical constriction devises?
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My nephew spent much of his adolescence binding in the face of intense negative messages from his mother, my sister. He had health problems the whole time (unrelated to his binding) but maintained it as much as possible throughout serious health crises including surgery. He saved all his money throughout and as soon as he turned 18 paid for top surgery and started hormones.
The difference was dramatic, astounding. He put on weight, started exercising again, and looks totally different- calm, confident, strong, at peace, healthy. He is succeeding in college in a demanding course of study. My sister, who was beside herself, had to admit he had essentially saved his own life and was where he needed to be.
I hope as time goes on, people will not have to struggle so hard to live the life they must. I feel intense sadness thinking of all the talented generations of non binary, trans and dysphoric people lost to societal disapproval and prejudice.
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I can relate, but in a different way. As a heterosexual female born flat-chested, I had my share of self-loathing, until I got augmentation surgery in my late 20's. Women with this type of surgery are often ridiculed. The surgery, many times considered frivolous. Perhaps that is so for some, but certainly not for all.
Before the surgery, I felt ashamed and less female in intimate relations. Afterwards, there was no major change in my personality or life. Never did I have a need to flaunt the results with low-cut or tight outfits. Instead, I just felt normal.
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I have been binding for a year and it's legitimately one of the best thing I've ever chosen to do for myself (I'm in my mid-30s). For the first time in decades, I feel at home in my body most days! My GC2B binders are more comfortable than most of the sports bras that I'd previously used for compression, and far more versatile.
My only wish is that the stigma against binding might be lifted a little, to allow for more self-expression in the market. I'd love for people to start creating cute binders that I actually want to show off a little bit! So many of the current offerings are so ... medical-looking. Hopefully articles like this one will get the attention of creative people/companies who will take this interest and run with it!
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I didn't realize that the discomfort and risks that come with chest binding, as with binding there can be complications with breast removal. It's not risk-free. Developing breasts can also be hard for cisgender girls. Bras aren't very comfortable. Everyone has the right to feel good in their own skin and comfortable too.
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@Lambnoe: ask any woman who has HAD to have a mastectomy for health reasons how "easy" this is.
It is major surgery, with serious scarring and pain.
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If anyone still thinks that trans people make their choices lightly or frivolously — they should read THIS.
This is not a « life-style choice. » Surfing or fitness is a lifestyle choice, Nobody contemplates suicide for a lifestyle choice!
This is serious — and tough — business, as serious, for many people, as it gets.
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I am just so stoked that MSM is finally talking about transgender men. Most media present the stories of transgender women, and almost all conservative media focuses on is transgender women because that is the best way for them to spread their agenda of fear.
As a transgender woman, I've welcomed the new focus on us by liberal media and been appalled at the focus on us my conservative media. However, I've been disappointed with liberal medias lack of discussion of the issues and experiences transgender men have.
I think if more people understood that gender dysphoria can affect anyone, then they would be more accepting of transgender people in general. Conservative media will never care about transgender men because they cant use trans men to create fear. However, liberal media does care, and I applaud the focus of these articles on the experience that transgender men have!
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I had my mother make me a vest, which was essentially a binder, because I was developing breasts too big for ballet. When Gerald Arpino (coming to visit from NYC) praised me that I looked great, I knew I had done the right thing. But when Bonnie Forrest said that people who bind their breasts were damaging them, I was embaressed. We were daily students at Mary Ann Wells' studio in Seattle. Later, I asked my parents for breast reduction surgery. They said absolutely not. Obviously I didn't become a professional ballerina.
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@ms Theo Nassar
I ws also a serious dance student for many years, and greatly admired the flat chests of MOST major ballet soloist dancers, from the great companies of the world. However...the informal rules changed way back, and for several past decades there are have always been a few dancers in the corps and beyond, with noticeable breasts. Costumes are constructed to minimize this, but it is there. The Joffrey Company has had a few full breasted women for many years. Don't blame your breasts. Maybe Giselle was not for you, but Kitri and many other roles could have been.
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My response to reading this is that it’s helpful to me as a cis male older than 70 who is trying to understand the struggles of transgender people. I’m mostly failing to understand and I apologize for that. But the usual process I take is to search for commonality as I try to imagine what the people in this article have to go through. My own struggle In puberty was due in great part to the sex averse Catholic upbringing and the total lack of sexuality information in my home. I remember trying to hide spontaneous erections with my schoolbooks as I tried to make it through the day as the hormones took charge of my body. I felt great shame at this natural occurrence but at least it was fleeting. Trying to hide breasts with bindings seems overwhelming, as does the psychic pain that must accompany it. I salute the bravery of these folks.
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Finely-graded or custom sizing is crucial for chest binders, just as it is for other potentially constricting or injurious clothing items like bras or shoes. We strive to expand access to all sizes of chest binders, so that no-one has to bind with something that's too tight for comfort.
Eli KCG
Shapeshifters
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The pain is real. The solution sounds like mitigation if a healthy body tonquiet an unwell mind
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Many of the writers said they could not afford top surgery. Is it generally paid for in other countries' national health programs? In America, it's no surprise that it has to be paid for out-of-pocket, but I'd hate to think that it's universally written off as elective plastic surgery based on vanity and not necessity.
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Seems a very important first step with dysphoria and possibly underserved technologically. I hate the idea of anyone needing to bind their torso with such intensity and wish that science and medicine had easier solutions and better support pathways. Nevertheless, these individuals are stalworth souls to understand their needs and take measure to important ends. I'm impressed with the resolve and fortitude.
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I understand gender dysphoria as a very real struggle requiring several remedies and ameliorations, not least among them greater understanding and fully realized equality and acceptance from cis-gendered members of society. I know also that any approach to who we are and why we are is a sensitive subject. Reading of the deep pain and longing associated with reconciling physicality with identity, I do hope that the scientific and medical community will investigate and responsibly advocate should evidence be found that exposure to exogenous chemicals/endocrine disruptors contributes to dysphoria.
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for me binding is a matter of leaving the house or staying in. anytime i am out, i bind. its as simple as that. i bind when i am at home alone when i need to, but i also view it as time to take a needed break. both binding and not binding are compromises. but i dont view it as a choice anymore - it is what makes my life livable until i can get top surgery.
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I have huge appreciation for everyone who contributed to this piece. Hopefully eyes and hearts will be opened. Thank you for your courage in speaking about your experiences.
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This is my introduction into binding. I’m an heterosexual woman ignorant of these practices and of the lengths transgenders go to pursue their true selves. This was most enlightening and sad. I wish we had a health care system that made these surgeries more reasonable for those who need them to live a real life. I’m amazed and glad there are companies producing products to help those in need.
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My child has been binding for two years, since age 14. He leads a very active lifestyle and doesn't report any problems. While it may be hot and tight at times, I have not a doubt in the world that it has been better for his self image. Passing is a big deal.
Top surgery later this summer - hooray!
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@Cousy
Seems to young to me.
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@Cousy, you are giving a 14 year old a double mastectomy? Wow, kind of young maybe? Not for me to judge.
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@Debbie And yet here you are, judging.
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Thanks for sharing these stories. I have never tried binders but have thought about it for years. These real life experiences give me a lot more specifics to think about...
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