Thank you, Wesley Morris! Any reason not to think of our current national nightmares is more than welcome, especially when given such careful consideration.
While they may not conform strictly to the genre, life wouldn’t be worth living without “All About Eve” (Bette has the man, dismisses the man, signs on with the man for keeps), or “What’s Up, Doc?” (Late-stage screwball comedy of the highest caliber, and I’d pay handsomely to watch Madeleine Kahn eat breakfast cereal). At last count, I have to have seen “..Eve” more than 100 times, and not one second of it wears thin!
1
Did you miss “Silver Linings Playbook” or am I missing something here?
1
Have been frustrated when searching AmazonPrime and Hulu that there are few true Rom-Coms. Really hard to find something filled with kindness, foibles, near-meet misses, and finally making a connection that is not degrading of women. Nearest are "Crazy Rich Asians" and independent films like "Learning to Drive" which are really romantic dramadies.
The Katherine Heigl films and many like them (i.e., most Judd Aptow films) the plot is narcissistic woman meets man, hooks up, feels ashamed, realizes she likes man, must change her life and personality to reconnect with man. The message is women have to turn themselves inside out to fit into the man's world if she wants a man in her life. Yuck!
IMHO it is result of bro-culture execs who do not really understand audiences engage in experiences which trigger an emotional CONNECTION. (Those that have awareness of wanting to stimulate an emotional response seek one transaction rather than creating evergreen product that forms an ongoing relationship. -- There is a reason that the Tracy-Hepburn and Gable-Lombard pairings remain entertaining today.)
1
I recently enjoyed watching a new romantic comedy called "Crazy Rich Asians." It has all the elements of a good romantic comedy and manages to seamlessly include the subject of parental and cultural expectations in a way that is both serious and warmly sensitive at the same time.
You didn't mention one English film. Love Actually, Four Weddings & a Funeral. Shirley Valentine. etc, etc.
6
I really enjoyed this essay - thank you, Mr. Morris! Would be curious to read a Part II that took a look at the rom-com in Asia... I don’t think it has died there like it has here and I have recently been watching more content from that region (especially Korean dramas) as a result. There are some particularly talented actresses that have the acting chops, comedic skills and glamor to carry off these roles to perfection. For example, Park Bo Young in “Oh, My Ghost!” or “Strong Girl Bong-soon” and Jun Ji-hyun in “My Love from the Star” or “Legend of the Blue Sea” (a kind of modern “Splash”). Others I would flag: “Oh, My Venus,” “I Am Not a Robot,” “Coffee Prince,” and “Secret Garden.” To be fair, these are series, not movies - but still, I think they are emblematic of the rom-com persisting, if not here in the States, then overseas.
2
Thanks for writing this. I really miss romatic comedies too. In fact where are comedies and satire in general these days when we so badly need a laugh?
2
Leave the two hours of aliens attacking each other to the silver screen and go to a real live theater and see a play with real people! Romantic comedy is alive and well, as is its sub-genre, "Last Chance at Romance" comedies, which are perfect for the usual demographic of local theater companies. Yeah, they can be formulaic, all those things cited in the article, but they're also about ordinary, real people having real relationships and audiences love them. Instead of "boy meets girl," it's "old geezer meets widower," adult children object and hilarity (hopefully) ensues.
I'm opening one this Friday, "Kalamazoo," by Michelle Kholos Brooks (yeah, Mel's daughter in law) and it's a hoot.
There's lots of them; The Last Romance, The Gin Game (sorta,) Southern Comforts, Squabbles,.....
Get yourself to a THEATER! And I don't mean MOVIE!...
2
Where have you been? "Ordinary people" have been replaced in America. Don't you really read the Times?
1
Katherine Heigl, her acting, her movies, are boring. Same with Jennifer Anniston, with all their sameness. Or Kate Hudson, for that matter. Yes, the sameness in their style of rom-com. (Gosh, can Heigl or Anniston even do anything else other than rom-com?) There are some rom-coms I still rewatch from time to time. While You Were Sleeping, is one.
What I find sad, is that women over 40 is basically "priced out" from rom-coms. It's not necessarily just because of age discrimination. There is certain silliness and campiness that one would allow for a 20-something woman (and man). But over 40? It vies into stupidity. It is thus that I find Something's Gonna Give so refreshing, something that Dianne Keaton does endearingly well (though admittedly Keaton has plenty of misfires in her rom-com attempts in recent memory).
Beyond the actress critique, there's a shift in attitude of younger demographics. Do guys and gals these days value courtship in the age of casual hookups? I fear the preoccupation of physical sex these days has crowded out so much chivalry and erstwhile romance. There is no more is-he-isn't-he can no longer be a question, since guys are expected to ask for permission explicitly. And then there is incel crowds who resent women for not providing immediate gratification for men's needs.
Is there any wonders why rom-coms disappear from our landscape?
3
I hear you, but I will continue to love rom-coms. Yes, there is great value in drama, and in movies that reflect where we are in our culture. There's a reason rom-coms are big when times are tough. Sometimes we just need an escape valve.
2
Thank you for this eloquent article addressing a meaningful void in our lives and culture that seems to be leading us in a destructive direction. Sometimes the answers are not so complicated or elusive.
2
I got to see Harry and Sally on tv after a number of years this week and it’s still terrific. The many classics mentioned here over an 80 year stretch are still “essential”. And funny. But why did the author of this good piece leave out Julia Roberts’ and Tom Hanks’ sweet 2011 grownup rom-com, “Larry Crowne” and the granddaddy of them all, “Much Ado About Nothing”?
Off topic but I would never describe myself as a “married, heterosexual, straight” person, even though I am......
1
It’s inconceivable that the author could write this long of a story about rom-coms without mentioning Bridget Jones’s Diary, the last truly huge romantic box office hit.
3
Woman loves man.
Man mistreats woman.
Woman hates men.
-----------------------
Romance today according to the New York Times.
Believe me Wesley, I too miss those days. But here is advice and comfort. They are still alive in Bollywood.
Watch Bajirao Mastani. Padmavaat. Koi Mil Gaya. Lakshya. All about love.
3
Watch "Silver Linings Playbook"; you'll love it if you loved "Moonstruck."
1
Too much cynicism. Too much nastiness. Too much - I'm to Kool for anything like that, & you are 5 mins old. So not happening !
1
That is what was so refreshing about much of Wonder Woman, it wasn't like that and didn't have to laugh away every decent or sincere moment for fear of not being edgy enough or being called something. Give us more of this again, more of that 80s feel.
Great article, and agreed on almost all counts. Happy to report that the romantic comedy isn't quite dead, because I just saw a screening of "Long Shot," and it is fantastic. As funny as it is romantic - I missed a good third of the lines because the room was laughing so hard - and Charlize Theron is a romantic comedy goddess. (I swear I have nothing to do with the film, I just wanted to share the love with other fans of the genre. We few, we happy few...)
2
Lovely, lovely article, beautifully written. More Wesley Morris, please.
5
I was never a huge fan of Rom-Coms. But I think we were better off as movie goers when there were still lots of Rom-Coms, and thrillers, and mid-budget dramas, and action movies, and westerns, and all sorts of genres playing in multiplexes.
Today, if it does not involve animation, people wearing tights, shooting laser beams, flying through space, or doing some combination of those things, it's Netflix or bust. I guess those sorts of films turn a reliable profit. Since Hollywood is now controlled by an ever dwindling handful of Fortune 500 companies, I expect that things will get worse before they get better.
Me, I miss going to the multiplex and watching something that involved people in realistic situations, dealing with problems that I could relate to. But I guess Hollywood has decided it can do just fine without my money.
9
The decline of the rom-com (late aughts/early teens) aligns precisely with the release and cultural domination of the iPhone (2007). People now meet, and get to know each other, via apps and screens. All of those dialogue-heavy romantic comedies just aren't relatable, nor realistic, today.
5
Uma Thurman came to mind after the mention of Angelina Jolie.
Leave it to a gay black male to come out with this long survey of movies that mostly involve white cis heteros in rom-coms. It really all comes down to money, the only language spoken in Hollywood. If another Meg Ryan film could be made without spending the hundreds of millions typically associated with movies that require ginormous special effects budgets, while generating impressive returns on investment, there'd be another coterie of Meg Ryans everyone's fawning over.
1
Brilliant piece on a genre that overdelivers even when it is grossly undervalued. Now I know why I'm getting romcom blues. It's been a while since the last feel-good one came out sans dystopia.
Thank goodness romcom is still a top-selling fiction novel category. That's where I get my fix. Although not quite the same without Katherine Heigl or Kate Hudson in the scene.
You mentioned you're a single black gay man - I sincerely hope the universe also delivers that elusive drawbridge to your life. I have a writer friend who lives in LA ...
Great piece!
Michelle
6
Add Enchanted April ( British) and North and South ( British mini-series to the list. Both are incredibly romantic.
3
I can not believe I have read in its entirety a piece about movies that I have not watched. Not a single one of them.
Mr. Morris, I salute you for your brave (and smart) defense of a genre that I thought to be entirely indefensible.
4
WHMS is one of my favorite comedies so pardon me here. I disagree that "Men are all Sally and her best friend, Marie, talk about. (And women are all Harry and his best friend, Jess, talk about.)" What everyone is actually talking about is loneliness -- as in finding a possibly permanent or even long-term mate, companion, lover...whatevs, and avoiding Being Alone. For example, Marie asks Jess to reassure her: "Tell me I'll never have to be out there again." And you might hold your breath, thinking Jess's reply will be sardonic. But it's not. Not at all. It's perfectly tender and reassuring. In my mind, Morris really gets distills where we are now: "...how disconnected we've become...".
9
I often find myself disagreeing with Wesley Morris on the small stuff. In some ways, we are nothing alike. But on the big things--geez--Wesley Morris is always right. One of the great critics.
5
I miss the demise of the rom-com, as well as the serious drama, and the light adult comedy. I'm completely sick and tired of comic book movies, ongoing sci-fi serials that should have put to rest decades ago, anything with Star in the name, and the endless flow of cheesy horror crud.
11
You you you. With your talent and knowledge and heart can write the next great rom-com. So many of us miss them!
(And if you need a casita in Austin in which to work, please let me know.)
1
Rom Coms don't work in today's world. Want to hold her hand - ask loudly and clearly for consent so that she does not misunderstand . A kiss- very clear and informed consent. Any additional touching - recorded consent, and god-forbid taking the initiative to move on to actual sex - legal agreement, verified names, ages, professions, else sex under fraudulent circumstances could be regarding as rape (see Nytimes article yesterday). Definitely a commedy, but not very romantic.
6
@Sipa111 Yes. I was reminded of Stanley Cavell's claim that in the romantic comedies of remarriage the man usually had to claim the woman. But what was interesting in Cavell's very asymmetric analysis of the moves made between men and women in this genre was that the asymmetry was also unstable. It could shift back and forth between the men and women. There was even occasional crossdressing, as in Bringing Up Baby. The love often took the form of a fight (these were divorcees, after all), a fight between men and women in all their differences. It was glorious and funny and erotic and tender and conciliatory, and it was a form of growth that depended on exploring this fight, a fight that both caused a divorce and--with time, fought the right way--could also cause a remarriage. This was utterly delightful and satisfying film, a great genre.
In our gender-troubled time, it would be very hard to produce something like this now.
3
@Sipa111
I think a great rom com could be written about dealing with the protocols of consent. And it could easily be romantic and sexy as well as funny.
1
@Nathan
Nonsense. There weren’t gender troubles in previous decades? Of course there were. The best rom coms were built around that tension.
1
The movie business divides audiences into four categories, men/young, women/young, women/old and men/old. At the exhibitor level, 90-95% of all ticket sale proceeds go to the producing studio for the first week, dropping to 85/90% in week two and dropping down about 5% per week the film is in theatres. With the majority of ticket proceeds going to the studio, the theatre makes their money through concession sales.
So, to a film studio, a film that opens big - such as an superhero action film - makes the most sense, because that is where they will bring in the largest percentage. Meanwhile, to the theatre operators, a film that attracts fans that will purchase the most amount of popcorn and soda makes the most sense. The best audience for both of the studio and theatres would therefore be men/young.
This is the core of the decline of any form of production of smaller movies of people talking to each other. Studios are no longer interested in betting small. They want to go large or go home.
Studios have been trying to re-enter the theatre business to alter this situation, but so far the courts have said no to this concept. Until deals are struck that reward small movies, the motion picture landscape will remain action packed.
1
not a single word out of place here. a fantastic, fun and insightful piece. thank you Wesley Morris. I will check out your podcast.
7
Romantic comedies, I feel, and what Mr. Morris says in a very engaging, expressive way, are products of the time. And our time is romantic tragedy or romantic suspense. There's really nothing funny about trying to forge a connection when everything is accessible with a touch of a button or swipe of a finger. It's also interesting how when we think of romantic comedies, we think of white people falling in love, like its an exclusive realm for them. I have to commend Netflix for churning out their versions of rom-coms, even though the results are mixed on quality.
Like westerns, rom-coms will come back via indie studios. And like westerns, they will have to cast their gaze beyond our borders and take clues from Asia, South Korea especially, on how to create a romance that not only focuses on the lovers falling in love, but also on the lovers becoming better versions of themselves.
2
Such a well written deep dive into what film means not only in popular culture but also in our lives.
The line, “The stereotype was always that these movies were for women, but some of their value surely came from the fact that men and women both watched them, often together, everybody absorbing images of what it looked like to engage with each other” was brilliant. Surely that is EXACTLY what they did! They gave us a friendly and hopeful model of how across the chasm of gender divide, we could meet for a lot of laughs.
I’m now a huge Wesley Morris fan. My other favorite movie critic and writer of the times we are in is Sheila O’Mallay who writes for the Roger Ebert group.
Such gifted voices with piercing insights.
7
Doris Day imagining herself on a bed as she rides the elevator up to Cary Grant's hotel room. I can still watch those ridiculous movies with relish! The message was hold on to your virginity, it's all you've really got of any value to negotiate with. I can't watch any of the newer generation rom-coms. The world has changed too much and they just seem wrong.
1
As someone who's life grinds to a halt the minute "The Holiday" pops up randomly on TV I really appreciated this article. Doesn't matter if its the beginning, middle or end - this 'Loner / Loser / Complicated Wreck' will stop drop and watch!
3
Thank you! I had a lazy afternoon yesterday, nothing planned. "I'll scroll through the movies and watch one" I thought...not so fast...with thousands of free movies to choose from, there was not a single lazy afternoon romcomm suited to my mood. I made note that I must be really out of the loop, no longer part of the group that marketers turn to for numbers. I feel vindicated, thanks again!
6
Crazy Rich Asians is the best Rom-Com I’ve seen in years.
I hope they make more.
2
Ordinary people?! I don't thinks so unless ordinary people are all those who don't have super powers.
I, for one, don't find the heroines of old movies louder and wilder, I find them just fun, witty women and men, equal matches, with great scripts. Rosalind Russel and Cary Grant in My Girl Friday were fantastic, the best rom-com of all. The language! But she was between two black holes, the guy she was engaged to and the guy she walked away from. Watch her at the end walking back into that relationship, befuddled. We feel for her. That, my friend, resonated. Katherine Hepburn in Philadelphia Story and Bringing Up Baby. Both roles full of agency and the relationships were silly. Who cared?! A man and a woman fully engaged with very different points of view, full of emotional pratfalls. Made your heart beat. Pitt and Jolie didn't work, I thought anyway, because the guns took the place of dialogue.
Meg Ryan not so much. When I think of Meg Ryan in Sleepless I think of two pretty adults standing around musing in gorgeous settings. Try to think of even one line, one enjoyable silliness. The reality-meter: a gorgeous houseboat in Seattle always filled with sunshine.
Maybe the reason Jolie never made a rom-com is the reason rom-coms aren't being made: the writing is gone.
4
Not sure if they quite fit in the Rom-com category, but, the
Before series- Before(Sunrise, Sunset, and Midnight) with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy are filled with good dialogue
and witty lines.
The first 2 were so fresh when I first watched them -they pulled at your "heart strings".
Ah! young romance , sigh!!
9
Mr. Morris - Take heart! Allow me to introduce you to the wonderful world of the "K-drama". Through an app called VIKI, you will find some of the funniest, heart-warming, beautifully depicted rom-coms ever made. These are South Korean productions of high quality and often completely ridiculous story lines that are a true escape. There is nothing like them on American television because (I guess) our taste became too "advanced" for this genre. Strong Woman, I Am Not a Robot, Beautiful Gong Shim...just to name a few. Enjoy!!
6
ha! I said the exact same thing!
Wesley, Agree. I love you. Thank you.
3
A couple of years ago, I decided to watch Sleepless in Seattle for the first time since I was a teen, all ready to be cynical and jaded about it. It’s now one of my favourite movies - witty dialogue, comedy, beautifully constructed characters and relationships. It was a great genre
7
I totally agree with the author, but I fear not much can be done. Take the teenage comedies full or fomance from the 80s and 90s (or indeed any with Meg Ryan...up to You've Got Mail) versus the ones mass-produced for Netflix and the likes: today's romance is too often intertwined with (and displayed on screen through) texting/photo sharing/odd apps. Movies do necessarily reflect the current society, but I don't realy enjoy a movie that requires reading on-screen a "witty" come back in teenage spelling. And movie with older characters are not much better. People are having a hard time connecting IRL (see what I did there) that a rom-com today, even an inclusive and female-empowerment-focused one would be immensely boring because the main characters would be meeting online in a sea of other random hookups, and would probably sext while at work before deciding to settle, would procede to ghost other candidates they had been "talking" to, would start a blog about their wedding planning and one for their holiday trip, and who wants to see that movie?!
7
@Asi I totally agree! I feel like our overly "mediated" age makes for terrible storytelling, because there's always some app in between people. It's such a relief to watch shows and movies from the era of the flip-phone and prior. It feels odd to be so nostalgic for the old-fashioned pleasures of talking on the phone vs texting or whatever other sad excuse for connecting we have now. (Full disclosure: I text, and it's super useful for some types of communications...but it's a lame substitute for talking, especially about important matters!)
4
@Asi You're right, THAT movie sounds awful! You make some great points.
I thoroughly enjoyed this well-written article. I'd give my eye teeth to go to lunch with Wesley and talk shop.
3
I’ve turned to television in other countries for romance. I now watch dramas from Taiwan and Korea and they have a huge range of sub genres within romance.
2
It amazes me how much people enjoy seeing the exact same formulaic stories again and again. As a classroom exercise I gave my students five minutes to come up with a Rom-Com plot outline. They were able to do it without the slightest hesitation. Some of them were hilarious (Skunk farmer meets cabbage patch doll museum owner), but they all followed the same three-act u plot structure replete with sentimental happy ending.
4
What a fun read. I sort of hate rom coms but this rescued them for me. thank you.
4
Romance lives, if not in well written articles. Thank you for taking me back to when we actually had to ask someone if they wanted to go to a movie, in a theater. I don't think watching movies on your laptop or phone is the same. Back then, you had to make the effort to find the movie time in the newspaper, muster courage to ask someone to the movie, pick the person up, go out afterwards and talk. All of this actually made the rom-com come true in your own life. Don't know if you get this while watching Netflix on a couch.
8
What about The Big Sick?? Rom-coms are there, just takes more digging to find them.
1
I love rom coms of the classic film era. I teach film studies and women's studies. Rom-coms are a hard sell for young people.
Most young people hate rom coms, and many young women can't stand them. They find them very corny, but there are other more interesting reasons.
Young women adore horror films. Women get significantly more screen time in horror films than in romantic comedies. Young women are drawn to horror because it more accurately reflects the terror they find in navigating their lives as women as prey. That's what they tell me. They like to identify with strong women who can outlast, outsmart or defeat the monster or evil. They like to see women play the predator or monster too.
I still adore romantic comedies and women's pictures of the past, and though I wish young women could better appreciate great old romances with Bette Davis and Barbara Stanwyck, and many others, most young women find such films too retrograde for their tastes. Romance is not seen as cool: it is seen as a temporary madness.
Most importantly, many young women reject the idea that women "need" a man (or even a relationship) to make them happy.
They hate to be told that they have to find a man to make them "whole," and they seek stories of female empowerment. I don't always understand where they are coming from, but I know they are looking for films that pass the Bechdel test.
If Hollywood made rom coms that did not insult women, the genre would perhaps make a comeback.
6
Interesting. The classic romantic comedies of the 30s and 40s had actresses who were strong and portrayed strength in their characters. Their characters often fought with the men they loved. Barbara Stanwyck. Katherine Hepburn. Irene Dunn. Rosalind Russell. Claudette Colbert. These were not whiners or grievance bearers. They were tough--and beautiful. The kind of women you might want to spend your life with--or divorce and remarry, trying to get it right.
2
Thank you my dear Mr. Morris—you have hit the nail on the head. I find myself very ill with a fair amount of time, although ultimately limited, on my hands. At the beginning of my getting settled into the knowledge that my time on this earth was going to run out sooner rather than later, I debated with myself whether I should spend it watching all the critically acclaimed good things I never had time to before or re-watching the things I already knew I loved. After briefly attempting season 2 of Westworld, it was an easy decision. I find myself re-watching Buffy and Angel and Spike, Veronica and Logan, Tami and Coach Taylor and Landry and Tyra and Tim and Lyla and Matt and Julie, Nora and Kevin and Erika and John and Laurie (in the best TV show of all time), and even Carrie and Big in the admittedly bad two movies of Sex and the City. Given, these are mostly TV series and more romantic-drama with some comedy thrown in, but I think they fit your bill. If I’m going out, it’ll be wrapped up in all the fictional, mostly true to life relationships (excluding Sex and the City) I have loved over the years. And as an added bonus, it’s looking pretty certain that I’ll get to see GOT through to the end. Thank you for validating my decision in your very interesting article.
10
Yes, yes, yes! As Meg Ryan would say. This was a lovely, elegantly written gem of an article. Thank you. For that reason, I can forgive that you've overlooked Sleepless in Seattle, Jerry McGuire, and Three Weddings and a Funeral.
5
What a wonderful observation. Perhaps if Nora Ephron we’re still around we’d have RomComs. RIP, Nora, we miss your humor and humanity!
10
I'd add a few more movies that weren't mentioned.
"Pretty Woman" is not only an enjoyable movie, the call girl character is the most moral of the characters. "About Last Night" has themes of finally choosing adulthood and committment, as does the made-for-TV movie "Prince of Bel-Air". "The Family Man" lets you ponder roads not taken and how we know if we have chosen wisely. "There's Something About Mary" is filled with laughs as Cameron Diaz bewitches all the men around her. Reaching back a bit let's not forget "The Goodbye Girl", a Neil Simon classic in which the tension between the lead characters plays out with the kind of lines only Simon could write.
6
Intelligent dialogue with minimal profanity and much humor. That defined the best of the Hollywood romantic comedies. I know they were kind of corny in the 30's but yet for many years my absolute favorite actor was William Powell. He carried it off with Myrna Loy and other actresses so, so well.
Excellent writing, Mr. Morris.
4
I celebrate the demise of the rom com. Even as a child I hated them.
I can't believe so many words were wasted writing about fluff.
1
As someone who prefers action movies to most other genres, I read this essay with distant curiosity. Am I ever glad I read it! Count me as a Wesley Morris fan now -- solid writing, layers of observation, and a thesis with surprising depth. Thanks!
3
As a closet Rom-com devotee I deeply loved and appreciated (I know) this article. Before you Netflix once again on your tear-stained pleather couch with a $14 Pinot Gregio (yeah, I know...sorry) grieving the genre in vain, however, have you not SEEN Silver Linings Playbook?
6
These movies definitely brought out my primal hunger to connect with people, but only by making me feel how hopeless it was to expect something human from Hollywood.
3
Thanks for the good read Mr. Morris.
Rom-Com is alive and well but my spouse and I choose not to appear on screen. I suspect that is true of many good relationships.
Have these dark political days also cast a shadow on our expectations or hopes of warm relationship?
2
What a well-written, well-reasoned piece, with raisins of wit throughout! Thank you!
2
Crazy, Rich, Asians wasn't a rom-com? because it had a little soap? Since when doe any rom-com not have some soapiness to it. The rom-com is not dead in Asia as can be seen if you are a fan of K-dramas. All rom-coms are essentialy Jane Austin novels where the female protagonist has to navigate her way through society without really having any power. What stands in the way of true love may be a job, a prospective mother-in-law a difference in age between the man and the woman, the difference in their percieved level of attraction.
A tv series that attempts a modern perspective that I think Mr. Morris may be talking about is My Lovely Samsoon. An older Korean series that got me hooked. They are not all at that level but glimpses of male and female humanity grappling with a rigid social structure is all here.
4
agree about the Korean series - Romance is Bonus Book on Netflix is a modern romcom that's bearable. The author needs to get over his US cultural model for what a romcom can/should be
1
You buried the lede—the rise of Internet porn. Who needs to connect when you have porn and its second cousin Tinder?
4
You miss them because they are filled with lazy tropes and give you your escapist American fantasy. They allow you to be stupid and let you feel good about it by filling in any plot holes or character failings with your non-nuanced brain that's been inundated with the cliche sexist stereotypes that have indoctrinated you into the patriarchy since birth.
1
Of course there are still rom-coms, they are just made for a younger generation, and mercifully by WOMEN. What was Amy Schumer's "Trainwreck," if not the ultimate romantic comedy? And "Bridesmaids," directed by Paul Feig, but written by Kristen Wiig and Annie Mumolo? There was a lot of girl-meets-boy, loses boy, gets-boy-again action in both those ultra-hilarious and heartwarming films. Even "Wedding Crashers" turned into the ultimate rom-com, once Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams got going. As for the 1980s films Mr. Morris is listing - most of them were horribly bad then and look even worse now. As for newer versions, La La Land was a bunch of actors who wanted to sing and dance but could have been outdone by people in off-Broadway auditions - it was true suffering to listen to tone deaf, bunny hopping phonies in a forgettable script. Thank the Universe we're moving on!
2
Give me a good Rom-Com any day over the blood/gore/guts movies that they seem to make too many of these days. I'm tired of watching a bunch of men fight in wars, in spy movies and just for the heck of fighting. Aren't we all up to our ears in reality at this point??? I think we all desire human contact, and even us old ladies love a cute love story to remind us of the thrill of our youth.....while your husband is in the other room watching some movie packed with lots of explosions and body parts (I'll never understand how that is entertainment. **sigh**). So PLEASE bring back the love stories! They may be sappy and silly, but everyone needs to remember that wonderful feeling, even if it's only for 120 minutes.
10
You explicitly mention The Lady Eve, which I consider the greatest Hollywood comedy by the greatest writer/director (sorry, Woody) of comedies, Preston Sturges, and with the greatest last line in movie history (William Demarest's "Positively the same dame!" beats out "Nobody's perfect" and "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn," but you need to watch the entire film to get it). However, since this whole piece is about genres, it should be noted that (while Sturges films are almost their own genre) The Lady Eve was really a screwball comedy (as were Bringing Up Baby, Holiday, and His Girl Friday, which you reference by mentioning their stars), a wonderful genre that is even deader than romantic comedy--since the '40s except for a small handful of attempted revivals. Though there is a almost always a romance in screwball there is a far different tone than romantic comedy--it tends to satirize or poke fun at romance and, very often, class distinctions and almost always is characterized by sublimely witty dialogue. Even if there was a Sturges, Wilder, Lubitsch, or Hawks around today to write and/or direct such films, today's audience probably couldn't even follow the pace of a screball or get half the jokes.
10
i just happened to watch When Harry met Sally last week. My reaction to the fake orgasm scene was that Meg Ryan seemed to have gotten a lot younger than she was last time. (It couldn't possibly be that I am 20 years older, could it?) But the premise and execution of the film were perfect.
In this day and age of DVD rentals and streaming, it seems only adolescent boys form a consistent theater audience. And that affects the choices for production.
4
It’s part of why we all loved LaLaLand - not that long ago
2
Score another vict(im)ory of the never ending social justice warrior's crusades!
2
At 57 (58 in August), I don't think that I would be super interested in watching two attractive 35 year olds get to know each other. And even less so, two attractive 32 year olds.
With age too, I wonder if being single strengthens us, and being in a relationship allows us to grow weak.
This is why all romantic comedies start with two people that are, at least emotionally, not in a stable relationship. This is when they are at their strongest.
Being single ... this is where it all starts, and it goes down from there. Not surprisingly, this is also the starting point for romantic comedies.
Richard Curtis Movies are the best. About Time, Four Weddings and a Funeral, Love Actually, Bridget Jones Diary, Nottingham Hill etc...Go to British movies when I need a happiness and sunshine bump in remembering sweeter days.
8
@PLH Crawford
About Time is a lovely movie. Bill Nighey forever!
4
I loved this article, but you forgot my all time favorite -- "While You Were Sleeping". I absolutely love Sandra Bullock.
6
I watch You’ve Got Mail every single time I come across it!
Today there are movies about dating and sex, but not romance.
Romance takes patience, imagination and hope to get to the happy ending — things that seem in pretty short supply these days.
8
Thank you Wesley Morris for a terrific article that explains what I have been feeling but unable to name!
1
RomComs are alive, well and thriving in KDramas.
1
Baby carriage....The Untouchables?
What about Potemkin?
@Greg Thank you!
Can we blame this too on Trump?
2
Who knows? Bad taste? I don't.
You're single? What's wrong with the gay guys out there? With so much insight regarding interpersonal relationships of the romantic variety, you are a real catch.
2
What a brilliant analysis of the 'Romantic Comedy' genre and all its iterations----such a brilliant, perceptive analysis that I assumed it was written by a woman! Thank you, Mr. Wesley Morris; you've given hope to sensitive guys everywhere. That it's okay to be, well, sensitive. And it's okay to be a man and still like classic romantic comedies.
In fact, one of my early role models was Cary Grant, for his droll wit and attractiveness that even a man could admire and emulate. He was joined in my personal pantheon by Rod Taylor ala 'Sunday In New York---debonair and effortlessly charming---and later, the likes of the younger Alec Baldwin circa 'Prelude to a Kiss', and Hugh Jackman, mentioned in the article for his coupling with Meg Ryan in 'Prelude to a Kiss'. Hugh Jackman, a man of such supreme warmth and charm that guys like me want to BE Hugh Jackman---much like Cary Grant always wished he WERE Cary Grant.
But the question now is, where do we go from here? I have long since stopped caring about the latest movies, but from what I am noticing lately, it seems that many today---young or old---seem to by hyper-cynically 'down with love' (a terrific send-up of early 1960's Rock Hudson/Doris Day movies, by the way). Female characters seem mostly disdainful of men, while male characters are ineffectual naifs lost in a feckless state of perpetual adolescence.
Simply put, there isn't much romance anywhere on the cinematic horizon, much less anything to laugh about.
6
@David You may enjoy a 2004 indie called "Touch of Pink," which doesn't totally work but still is a lot of fun. About an Indian-Canadian gay man, his complicated relationship with his traditional mom, and the advice he is given by the spirit of Cary Grant (Kyle MacLachlan--hit or miss with it, but likeable).
@CB
Thanks for the tip. I enjoy offbeat indie movies, along with older French films circa 1970's through to the early 2000's.
If I can reciprocate, allow me to recommend two films. The first is a 1997 film entitled 'It All Came True', starring James Spader as a publishing scion who buys a townhouse occupied by the ghosts of a elegantly witty, bickering 1920's theatrical couple, played to sublime perfection by Dame Maggie Smith and Sir Michael Caine. The bon mots flying back and forth between Smith and Caine will have you weeping over our present dumbed-down Twitter-and-Texting culture.
My second recommendation is 'La Fleur du Mal', a 2003 French romance, with a touch of typical French existential crisis and tragedy. The plot largely centers on a present-day upper-class family forced to confront past familial sins. A subplot to the story, and the main reason I like the film in the first place, is merely to watch ninety-minutes of the gorgeous young French actress Melanie Doutey. There are worse ways to spend an hour-and-a-half, to be sure.
1
Wesley Morris is like a critic in search of a topic. Rom-coms? It's still the most random thing to wax poetic/philosophical about.
1
Isn’t the underlying idea in a rom-com a guy who refuses to take “no” for an answer? Then good riddance. They give credibility to an act which should be criminal.
2
Rom-coms are alive and well in Korea. Netflix has a few, the best of which is probably Strong Girl Bong-Soon. Or you can go to Viki for Weightlifting Fairy, What's Wrong With Secretary Kim, I Am Not Robot, or 2007's Coffee Prince. And we haven't even touched on Gong Hyo-Jin's oeuvre yet.
2
Why no mention of Bridget Jones Diary?!? The best of them all.
1
Wesley Morris does it again!!
Love everything you write man, thank you for sharing your gift
I thought “Crazy Rich Asians” was a rom-com, and it did well at the box office.
1
I have spoken lately to quite a few people in their 20's about dating and the popularity of Tinder and other dating apps. What became depressingly clear is that young men and women don't know how to meet romantic partners anymore. Potential partners are identified by a cell phone app, which leads to futile one-time dates for two people with nothing in common. I have read that women think that being approached by man in a public place means he is a creep but being swiped by someone is safe. Yikes.
Maybe Wesley Morris has identified the cause of this dating malaise - there are no more romantic comedies to show young people how to meet and flirt and fall in love. I say bring back the romantic comedy as a public service to lonely young people! (Plus I miss going to the movies.)
10
Blame it on the vampires. I feel like the genre that stands between now and the romcom era is the Vampire Era (Twilight, Buffy, True Blood, Vampire Diaries). Those love relationships were more Brontean (as in Jane Eyre and Wuthering heights). They were about forbidden or problematic love (between humans and vamps). In those love came a the cost of some (Buffy, True Blood) or all humanity (Twilight). Also, of course, Buffy was BORN to kill vampires. It felt like 1997-2007 and was all about impossible love. In addition to that, there were love triangles (Jack-Sawyer-Kate on LOST, Buffy-Angel-Spike on Buffy, something similar on Gilmore Girls). In general, TV replaced cinema for romance.
2
Wesley Morris, this is why you're wonderful. ME too!! (in a good way) I can't believe it's been 30 years since When Harry Met Sally. And thank you for bringing in the original screwball/romantic comedies of the 1930s.
1
What a beautifully written and well-observed piece. I agree with everything you're saying and I miss and continue to try to write and direct what I call the Extraordinary Ordinary stories of our lives. I think it's a great and noble challenge to find a new way to tell a story about ordinary people and the quest for love. I found with the last movie I made that Netflix was filling this void since they don't have the limited market space theatrical releases do, nor the box office pressure. I think we're in for a revival and resurgence thanks to streaming, so stand by!
9
I don’t love most rom-coms, but “When Harry Met Sally” is a masterpiece for the ages. The writing. The acting. The longing. The pining. They don’t make ‘em like that anymore.
7
Thank you very much for a beautifuly written article.
5
There are new romantic comedies in Netflix and Amazon. They are smart and realistic. I think that what you are missing are the stars, no Julia or Meg. Check some of this new movies 2018 and 2019 and you will rediscover romantic comedies.
You can also find the classic teenage romance.
The nicest thing about this sites is that is not only heterosexual, and one recent award wining movie Moonlight has all the elements of the romantic movies.
Stop going to theaters and enjoy online movies.
5
"Deadpool" contained a sweet romance. Hope is not lost.
1
If the film title has ‘dead’ in it’s not a rom-com.
1
That was the first time I've laughed out loud while reading a NYT article in a very long time. Hysterical! One of the things making rom-coms difficult to make now is that so many of their plots revolve around what is essentially harassment - one character (usually the guy) refusing to take "no" for an answer and continually making unwanted advances until the target relents and suddenly falls in love. What kind of message does that send?
3
@me - Is "romance" bugging someone into loving you? If that's your definition, then you're right about me.
2
There's a huge discussion to be had here about the asymmetries we expect in males and females pursuing each other. We are in denial about the realities of this right now because of the way male pursuit sometimes goes wrong. We are also having less sex and less marriage as a consequence. Part of the point here is that romantic comedies might be able to help us understand the difference between the right kind of pursuit and the wrong kind.
2
I can't remember the last time I read something, in a modern publication, so well written. First, please write a book! Pick your subject. Second, the connection between the rise of porn and decline of romantic comedies to the way men and women interact socially in the 21st century is waiting to be analyzed academically. Somebody needs to use this as a basis for a doctoral thesis.
10
The famous baby carriage scene is actually Eisenstein's Odessa Steps sequence from The Battleship Potempkin.
2
Thanks for your great essay. I, too, miss rom-coms especially if they are well written and acted. Most comedies today - not just rom-coms just aren't funny. As a matter of fact, I find most movies today lacking. A lot of the talent that used to make movies is now split between cable channels and streaming services. Don't forget Sleepless in Seattle as well as 13 Going on 30 which had a certain kind of charm for me.
Of course many of the old black and whites are great. I've watched the Philadelphia Story many times, along with Bringing Up Baby, His Girl Friday and many of the Spencer Tracy/Katherine Hepburn movies.
Today's rom-coms have to be smarter and more sophisticated as society has changed and cutsey doesn't cut it anymore. I do think that Crazy Rich Asians fits the bill.
Still I would give anything for a great rom-com.
2
We just watched Someone Great, billed as the 'new
' romcom. Horrible. Awful. No rom and no com -- no nothing, in fact. The best argument ever filmed for reading a book.
2
I was wondering what happened to all the date night flicks I'd sit down to watch with my wife on a Friday night. Now I know why we can't find any new ones. Hello, Hollywood, are you listening?
3
This article conflates very different film sub-genres: Pre-Code romantic comedies of the 1920s and early 1930s have little in common with traditionalist 1990s and 2000s "rom-coms." Despite being made nearly a century earlier, the Pre-Code films were subversive and often inverted gender norms in radical ways which our contemporary films refuse to do.
Case in point: One of the most amazingly progressives films I have watched is Ernst Lubitsch's "I Don't Want To Be A Man" (1918). This rom-com is about an underage girl in the Weimar Republic who has a crush on her tutor. Her tutor happens to be a promiscuous bisexual man who prefers the company of boy prostitutes and frequents gentlemen's clubs. Undaunted by these facts, the girl dresses up as rakish male bachelor and pretends to be a fellow swinger in order to be with him.
After getting her tutor so drunk that he cannot consent or rebuff her, she seduces him in a nightclub with clear implications about the non-traditional sexual intercourse that follows: The film makes it clear the tutor is only sexually attracted to her when he think she is a man, not otherwise.
I have never seen a mainstream contemporary film ever equal such cinematic bravado. And yet there are thousands of similar Pre-Code romance films that would make the current "rom-com" viewer prudishly shriek and flee back to their traditional rom-coms from the 1990s and 2000s.
It is sad to realize how much cinema today has regressed since the Weimar Era.
6
Ahhh... French Kiss with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline. One of my absolute favorite rom coms and it hasn't been released on Netflix, etc... A tragedy!
4
No real mention of the Hugh Grant epoch of rom-coms?
6
Hi Wesley! I have to commend you on your use of Pepé Le Pew as an example of an unacceptable level of male sexual aggressiveness. As a young kid watching those cartoons I always felt that it was beyond the pale for him to pursue the poor unsuspecting cat with the errant markings in the manner that he always did. Seriously. I guess we could all laugh at it, but I knew that it made the cat very afraid and even at the age of ten I knew it was not right.
As far as rom-coms go, I was reading something about male sexual aggressiveness a while ago and the author used the example that in rom-coms the male who initially or repeatedly gets refused in his attempts at courtship uses the experience as a reason to "try harder" and then be rewarded, within the context of the story. Maybe that's why they are fading in popularity. Does that make any sense?
7
Indeed...John Cusack’s character in “Say Anything” can seem like a stalker in retrospect, and the boom box outside the window ominous instead of charming.
3
I fear the death of rom-coms is also the death of other more connective joys in society-- romance with some real-life "chase" in it vs. online dating app dribble. Fizzy fun for the heck of it instead of endless self-improvement and self-only endeavors. Nick-and-Nora type flirty banter in place of stock market and real estate whinings. Rom-coms were a great lesson in how to enjoy life and human connection.
133
@Melinda Cross Also, just actual human connection that isn't entirely mediated by technology. I always enjoy movies that take place before we were texting/tweeting/instagramming ourselves to death.
19
@Melinda Cross You may have hit on something with your term "self-only endeavors." True love puts the other person first in life, making actual real life Rom Com possible.
8
"Kate & Leopold" remains one of my wife's favorites and I like the sci-fi blend with the idealistic romance. We've both wished for a sequel which would examine their future from where they started. Now a woman of the 19th Century, Kate has the benefit of both foreknowledge, as well as having to deal with the social constraints of the era. Vote? Um, nope, she can't do that anymore. Would she become an activist, marching with Susan B. Anthony and the rest of the suffragettes? Better hope she never gets an infection, no penicillin either. The so-called "good old days" weren't always what we think they were through the rose colored glasses of hindsight. But she could certainly tell her kids to invest in General Electric and Ford at their inception.
2
Check out k-dramas! Good romantic comedies are still alive there. They are refreshing and hilarious.
4
This is a very good article that captures which is on a lot of people’s mind. Both my wife and I enjoyed romcoms and frequented them in theaters when we were dating in the early 2000s. We still look for them on Netflix and amazon as mentioned by another commentator. The movies that come out today within similar genres, try to deal in more realism and try not to offend anyone. In process they have compromised the flirtatious moments where you would steal a kiss or hold hands. We have recently watched most of the movies mentioned in this article, without a concern of its rottentomato ratings. Hopefully they make a come back and continue to being relevant with the times so kids today identify with them.These were the perfect date movies when I was younger. Very good article.
9
This is a very good article that captures which is on a lot of people’s mind. Both my wife and I enjoyed romcoms and frequented them in theaters when we were dating in the early 2000s. We still look for them on Netflix and amazon as mentioned by another commentator. The movies that come out today within similar genres, try to deal in more realism and try not to offend anyone. In process they have compromised the flirtatious moments where you would steal a kiss or hold hands. We have recently watched most of the movies mentioned in this article, without a concern of its rottentomato ratings. Hopefully they make a come back and continue to being relevant with the times so kids today identify with them.These were the perfect date movies when I was younger. Very good article.
2
This is the smartest article I have read in a ling time, on any subject. The analysis can be applied to many other areas, including the politics and culture. It made me think of how the society evolves in ways that are hard to appreciate contemporaneously, and things that seem permanent (and often disturbing) are just adjustments, and reactions, to the new reality. Bravo!
13
What a beautifully written, entertaining piece. I'll be looking for more from Wesley Morris!
I, too, long for the optimism, quirkiness, and playfulness of romantic comedies. The world is a hot mess, and I'm exhausted trying to manage my small piece of fixing that mess. When I relax, I don't want to watch anything getting blown up, I want to see complex characters find one another, and I want to smile.
13
I miss rom-coms too. I was left empty by so many of the movies and TV we have produced in the last decades. I missed happy endings and joyful pairings. I was bored by the endless superheros and frustrated by an entrainment diet full of angst and depression. So, I turned to the world of Korean Dramas. Replete with rom-coms, I felt I had discovered something magical that we had forgotten in this country. For the first time in years, I felt entertained as I watched relationships build on screen! This is big business in Korea and expanding beyond her borders. Perhaps, it will happen here too. If not, reading subtitles is really not that bad and a great way to be entertained while learning a new language!
5
Could it be related to the fact that most real romances these days are made by algorithms and dating websites, and such a pragmatic process is hard to dramatize?
2
Mr. Morris is a very interesting and fluid writer. More by him please.
13
Meg, Goldie, Julia, Nora, Nancy (Meyers)...when I need comfort, I know just where to turn. Another lovely heart-warmer that gets the job done, 2001's "Someone Like You" with Ashley Judd, Greg Kinnear and Hugh Jackman. But even Ricky Gervais' 2008 "Ghost Town" had a smooth, melty center. Yes, they're tough to find, but they can still be discovered in some unexpected places...thank you Netflix, Prime, AcornTV, and others, for the ability to delve!
9
I totally agree I like Rom-Coms (the real ones) too and we do need them from time to time, I know they're cheesy and full of fantasy, but sometimes that's what you need to watch just to keep believing in love I guess.
5
I know I´m a little late to the party....As a guy who grew up in the 80s/90s, we loved any movie that had cars, guns, blood, etc...we watched rom-coms with our girls, and the guys would never admit (laughs), but those moments, and movies, were really enjoyable ..Just the other day my wife and I were talking about this.....couldn´t find anything worth the time on Netflix, until we picked up the "How to lose a guy in 10 days" DVD. Rom-Coms were actually quite good.....problem today is that people don´t watch anything that doesn´t "represent life".....Today it is all about "What cause do you support, are in you favor of "fill blank here", I have to think of myself first....instead of....What movie do you like, what kind of drink do you like, what´s your favourite food.....I mean, today, a guy has to ask if he can actually send flowers to a girl! (yes...in the aforementioned movie, the guy sends an entire forest to the girls´workplace). Great article, thanks for bringing up the issue...
5
I enjoy watching movies with witty dialog and plots, including rom-coms. One of the oldest ones I watched, long after it was made, was Desk Set.
I used to say that You've Got Mail was my favorite movie. Then, unfortunately, a movie critic explained how the plot was very cruel, as the Tom Hanks character tricks the Meg Ryan character. WHY would he trick Shop Girl? Why?!
OK, I still like that movie, despite its apparent flaws.
1
Several years ago, I stumbled upon Korean dramas, and the best are rom coms. They are life enhancing. I fell in love with the characters, and often burst out laughing. There are really dumb ones to avoid, but they are pretty obviously bad at the get go. These shows are mainly episodic TV series and if anyone is interested, I'd suggest the Hong sisters (writers), they are v funny and sly.
5
This started off interesting but then just got repetitive and boring. Couldn’t make it through to the end.
1
I published two romantic comedy capers in the early 90’s under the name C. Clark Criscuolo. Yes! I am a romantic comedy aficionado. I will flick on one of those over pretty much anything else on cable, which is where the American audience at this point. Cable will attest to the fact that romantic comedies are programming cash cows, but still they don’t invest in them. Hollywood? Don’t even knock on the door. Hollywood has assessed its market as live action comic books. And they are losing audience share at a spectacular rate.
At the same time Romance is the most popular fiction genre in the United States and I can name 10 authors whose books should be in production as we speak. So why is no one making these?
In my opinion, it is because men have the green light power. At this point they are corporate executives, not filmmakers and numbers impress corporations.
A splashy comic book movie that takes in $180 million on opening is the goal. Never mind that it cost $300 million to produce, another $300 million to promote, it’s those numbers. It’s machismo.
By comparison, a romantic comedy may only take in $50-$80 million on opening, but then, it only cost $20-40 million to make. The romantic comedy hit may do $500 million after worldwide release -an incredible return on investment- but it will be an eternal audience getter for years to come.
Until there are more women producers, directors and money people, this isn’t going to change.
Have to go, Desperately Seeking Susan is on.
83
@Catherine
'Until there are more women producers, directors and money people, this isn’t going to change.'
They gave A Wrinkle in Time to a black woman with money to burn. It was a a comic book success that had all the special effects to go with it.
She lost them 200m+.
It's not the genre, it's the movie.
Blaming men for this is the same as blaming women for something else, just kindergarten talk.
And I really miss a good 'chick flick', like You Got Mail, or Hope Floats. Would take those any day over 'Ugly Dolls'.
10
@Catherine
I understand where you are coming from, yes there are more men (a lot more) than women in the movie business, but let´s not forget that we have today Kathleen Kennedy as head of Lucasfilm, and Stacey Snider as head of 20th century fox, and they also greenlit Sci-Fi/Comic book (not to mention the glass- ceiling-shattering Serry Lansing) budget-busting blockbusters....as you mentioned, the studios go where the money is....and many girls from this current generation don´t like rom-com as they see those movies as representing women as someone who is only out in life to find a guy....(which is no true of course)...I believe the reason is deeper than simple machismo, otherwise not even the older Rom-Coms would have been approved...
7
@Catherine: Streaming is a big reason that most feature films are now kids films. For kids, the freedom of going out to the movies is new and exciting. Adults would rather do it from their living room. So, as you say, there is a big untapped market for direct-to-streaming rom-coms.
This article was more interesting and insightful than I expected.
4
I grew up in the 60s when movies showed hard working farmers, military, inventors who got the girl through their hard work and humility. I tried to emulate those movies just when the rom com came out in the 70s. All of the sudden the "slacker" with a sense of humor got the girls, and guys like me were like the hard charging striver that lost the girls. I worked hard for good grades, did track and field, got a grunt engineering job and seemed out of step. I finally figured it out and now have a family with 2 successful girls, wife, paid house etc but for 5 years I was tearing my hear out. I shed no tears for rom coms and long for the movies of the 40s when the hard working humble guy got the girl and the "slacker playboy" lost(think Philadelphia Story)
2
Great article Mr. Morris. I too have noticed the absence of romcoms - which is probably why I spend more time watching old movies over again rather than new ones (that the thing about the genre - you can watch them again).
I suspect you are right, I hope so anyway, that we'll see a revival of the form soon.
Let me disagree with just one thing:
"So maybe it’s the most featherweight of genres"
Seriously? Romcom could be lighter weight than movies based on comic books aimed at teenage boys? I don't think so. Maybe the problem is that to do a romcom right you need real acting, not just green-screen and special effects theatrics.
14
I viewed Harry/Sally for the first time recently at the TCM flm festival and was totally underwhelmed. A few witty quips but otherwise, how on earth did that become a classic?
2
@Earthling, not my favorite movie of the rom-com genre, either.
There's a funnier movie, with Meg Ryan and Kevin Kline, where she loses her luggage [I think], and somehow keeps her pristine white shirt completely clean while wandering around Paris.
Actually, this is almost a spoof of a rom-com, with both characters being somewhat stereotypes.
OK, I just looked it up. The movie is French Kiss.
3
@ Earthling, surely you jest, that movie was out of this world - sorry, but I must defend it! Nora Ephron crafted a set of well observed and hilarious vignettes, the dialogues are lively, witty and true, and there are quotable quotes in almost all the scenes. Add the impeccable comedic timing of a cast of superlative actors, and When Harry Met Sally reaches near perfection in the rom-com category. It’s a small masterpiece...
@ Wesley Morris, great article, many thanks for an enjoyable read and for voicing so well the longings of so many of your readers!
2
What an insightful article! We’re in a strange new land where smaller (read: human) stories move to streaming and big cinema becomes one popcorn superhero flick after another. Writers have always controlled TV content whereas film was solidly the world of the big name director. Writers have broken free into streaming and gone wild w/ their freedom... the darker and dirtier the better now that we’re no longer tethered to the restrictive network format. Writers will eventually grow tired of shocking the system and will find their way back to the simplest storytelling pleasures. Anyone out there ready to start our new RomCom renaissance? Start writing!
15
@LisaW, I'm fortunate to live near a Landmark cinema, which mostly shows what I guess you'd call independent movies.
Plus, there's the Cinema Club, which several times a year will show a movie, followed by a discussion, in a beautiful old theater. While I don't often go to these, it's interesting to see a movie when they don't even announce the title, before you walk in the door!
The same theater has a series of movies from Israel, Czech Republic, etc.
The Hallmark Channel and Hallmark Movies and Mysteries is capitalizing on this void in feel-good flicks. The quality of the films on both channels varies, but they have increasingly diverse casts and the female leads have their own careers, goals, and interests apart from men. They're not big budget movies, but many are entertaining and offer a great escape from our current somber reality.
7
@JG, a couple of years ago, I had a free subscription to Hallmark Channel.
Their Christmas themed "feel-good flicks" were very entertaining.
OK, sure. It's 99% certain that the couple will eventually resolve their differences and get married ... and the decorative snow never turns grey.
So yes, they can be "entertaining and offer a great escape from our current somber reality".
2
"But I’ve yet to find any comparable exploration of what we might get out of romantic comedy — an entire genre about people coming together, as opposed to one that prefers your coming alone." BRILLIANT.
16
I don't think I've seen any of the movies that are referenced in the article as Rom-Coms (and I watch a lot of movies), so obviously don't miss them. It appears they've been replaced by a multitude of Superhero movies, so perhaps the craving for bad movies can be satisfied by those?
Essentially gone? I saw two just last month (It’s So Romantic and What Men Want). I do love a good romantic comedy; many are merely tolerable.
1
I love many of the movies mentioned - When Harry Met Sally, You’ve Got Mail and Something’s Gotta Give. I bought the movies in VHS, then again when the DVD format came out. These movies are my treasures.
9
Since you mention “Sex and the City”, what about “Castle”, which ended only three years ago? Stana Katic’s Kate Beckett and Nathan Fillion’s Rick Castle were one of the most delightful couples ever to come out of Hollywood.
6
I like the disclaimer: I’m a single black gay man, and therefore an unlikely champion of the American romantic comedy: What’s in these movies for me?
For that matter how many romantic "black" comedy stars have there been? Perhaps some Tyler Perry movies? And how many mainstream gay romantic comedies (lesbian or gay) have there been in the history of Hollywood?
1
Ugh to romcoms. Hurray for Preston Sturges. The romcoms that came out of Hollywood starting in the 1990s pretended to advance women's causes but did just the opposite. Go see "The Lady Eve," with the incomparable Barbara Stanwyck, and "Double Indemnity" to understand how diminished are the roles of gals in romcoms.
6
In about half of the rom-coms I've seen everyone has a superpower: The ability to know all the lyrics to a twenty-year-old pop song and sing it along with a large table of people. In reality the only songs that would be true of are "Happy Birthday to You" and "The ABC Song."
No mention of "Four Weddings and a Funeral"? Goodness!
4
Hugh Grant. That is all.
19
Yup, you're absolutely correct! Current movies labeled rom-coms don't measure up to past ones oldies but goodies! How about asking AMC or TMC having a recurring scheduled night or week showing them. They're never tiring . They give us relief and diversion from all the 24/7 grim and disappointing political news cycle from the current administration. I really miss the witty dialogues so overtly lacking in current ones.
80
@Fe R
Witty dialogue springs from an assumption of shared cultural experience.
There used to be enough money in catering just to the white middle-class experience to risk narrowband plotting. Two generations of incompetent immigration management has resulted in a society full of moviegoers who resent the white middle class (a demographic which has also shrunk due to increasing income disparity).
Diversity is inefficiency. This compels corporations to focus more on pursuing the easy money by appealing to the interests of the lowest-common-denominator consumer.
4
@Len Arends
I grew up in India and love the classic films on TCM though I'm not really a fan of the romantic comedies of the 80s and 90s. I'm not sure you need to be white or middle class to enjoy films.
3
@Fe R, these days we have more Cersei Lannister and Daenerys Targaryen, and we celebrate strong female characters (even the diabolical ones) like that more than damsel in distress. It all started with the very successful Aliens franchise from Ridley Scott in which female leads can just as easily and readily carry a movie, so much so that even the flint between Ripley and Hicks must be suppressed, lest it become a distraction.
While I would not want us to go back to the 1930s world where, as the writer has rightly noted, the end game for the girl, is to secure a guy (yes, a handsome, rich, white dude). Life for women is much more than that. That's why movies like While You Were Sleeping so interesting, because it illustrates perfectly the "drawbridge" that the writer has aptly penned, without any distraction of fabulous wealth or gorgeous people (as Maid Of Honor did, for example) that is total fantasy, even for the one-percenters.
3
Great piece, great memories, thanks!!!
7
One of the knocks on rom-coms has long been that they promote "unrealistic expectations of relationships," but the magic of a classic rom-com like "When Harry Met Sally" is that it does no such thing. It just brings us inside a very real and very funny process by which friendship and romance are formed over time.
It also demonstrates that a great rom-com requires great sidekicks. That movie simply would not have been the same without Carrie Fisher and Bruno Kirby (and man, is it sad that both these great actors are no longer with us) falling in love on their own adorably accelerated schedule.
34
I adore "You've Got Mail" and "Working Girl" and seem to watch each at some point in each year of my life. Even more than the romance in them, I love the stories of the protagonists rebuilding their lives after some horrible setback.
With all the mention of Meg Ryan and her work in the Nora Ephron movies, I have to share a lovely - if bittersweet - discovery. Last week I got an audiobook written by Delia Ephron and narrated beautifully by Meg Ryan called "Sister Mother Husband Dog: Etc." In it, Delia Ephron talks about her life and career, and especially her time with beloved sister and collaborator Nora, during the years when Nora battled with leukemia. It's smart, and tender, often moving and sometimes funny. If you love Meg Ryan or Nora Ephron, you'll love it too.
15
There are no more enjoyable, escapist films. Just brutal gun violence, sexual degradation (or meaningless, sad sex), comic book avengers and horror films. Why? I now love TCM. I watch films from the 30s through the 90s and wonder why Hollywood now has zero creativity. And what happened to love? What happened to psychological thrillers? What happened to light, fun, heterosexual love stories? Honestly, I think our society has become desensitized to anything other than the grim and the gritty. Oh, and if I see one more show or movie about dying teenagers or the dull reality of child rearing, I might puke. Show adults who don't have children! Show older people! Show teens who are not sick and are just normal.
40
@atb With the rapidly increasing number of people who are in their 50s, 60s, 70s and 80s in this country, it would be amazing to see some movies that show romantic love for people in those age groups too, minus the icky jokes about Viagra and Depends.
17
@EmGee
I'd recommend checking out the movie "I'LL SEE YOU IN MY DREAMS" starring Blythe Danner and Sam Elliott. I saw it sometime ago and absolutely loved it.
5
This is why I consume Jane the Virgin with such vigor - while not a rom com in the strict movie sense, it is still a terrific tv show centered on relationships, between and among both women and men.
3
just watch European (notably French) and Asian movies : you will get stories of ordinary people connecting
8
The Awful Truth. The Awful Truth. The Awful Truth.
5
@Michael Gorra A thousand upvotes for this. My daughter (9) LOVES old screwball comedies like "The Awful Truth" and "Bringing Up Baby" (even "It Happened One Night," though a lot of the innuendo goes over her head). On deck: "His Girl Friday."
2
The big studios want to sell billions of tickets all around the world and romcoms are a hard sell in countries where English is not the first language and people don't live in American cities or suburbs with American customs and mores. Maybe there will be a place for them on places like Netflix or Hulu or the Sundance Festival but any romance out of Hollywood is more likely to be a Disney Princess movie or something involving the Antman and the Wasp.
3
Rom-coms are alive and well in Asian countries. Netflix has produced some enjoyable ones and there are many streaming sites that bring you a world of rom-coms.
7
Hear, Hear! I so agree with everything you've said in this brilliant, insightful essay, Wesley Morris. You said it all for me and I thank you. I hope those out there who think about making movies that move us, that connect us, that leave us wanting more are listening.
16
I love this article for a million reasons. But I wanted to add that Female Friendships are the new frontier in ordinary people relating to each other. No more women pitted against each other, jealous and scheming to win a man. Now it's about how women lift each other up and that's as important now, if not moreso, than romantic relationships.
LONG LIVE MOONSTRUCK. LONG LIVE HARRY AND SALLY.
9
Amen and amen! The idea of that most basic and wonderful aspect of life, connecting meaningfully with another until death do you part, is not light or fluffy, but it is rather essential and core. It unites us, across religion, gender, politics and socioeconomic castes into being happy - joyful! - when it happens to any of us. In this miserable time of polarization, amen again to anything that gives us joy in the universal human need to be understood, loved and committed to.
17
Delightfully and skillfully written! Yes, please, true romantic comedies are missed. Your analysis is excellent and enjoyable to read. Thanks
14
I've loved Morris since his Grantland days, and he's a phenomenal writer with so much to say about pop culture, but I don't think I'm totally convinced the rom-com is dead! How does "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" not have the drawbridge?! Or "Set It Up," as well? Characters grow together, have tender moments of vulnerability and intimacy, and seal it all with a kiss. These are classic romcom tropes!
We definitely have a dearth of good romantic comedies, and low-stakes movies in general. But I find the rumors of the genre's demise to be a bit premature.
1
I miss romantic comedies too. Perhaps if they still existed it would be easier to imagine myself in an old-fashioned relationship.
5
The really great rom-coms were from the 40's. Things like You Can't Take it With You, Gay Divorcee, My Man Godfrey.... those were really great films. The later ones are shallow and trite in comparison.
2
Typical rom-com is fantasy about a serendipitous matching of mismatched souls. A more diverse audience has a harder time suspending disbelief when they don't buy into the social contract.
A more diverse country means that movies about "human connection" either appeal to a particular cultural background (and therefore have a limited market and are neglected by big studios) or are so broadly written that they are drained of real humanity (hence the superhero movies).
The reason movies about middle-class white people having middle-class problems worked in America-past was because lower-class white people aspired to have those lifestyles, too.
In a world built for men where women are expected to fend for themselves, the new fantasy is "my loyal bodyguard". The Shape of Water. Bumblebee. Even a recontextualized Beauty and the Beast. "Man as obedient exoskeleton." "She's the brain; he's the brawn." This is the fantasy that more women from more cultures can engaged with.
36
@Len Arends
One more example of the "loyal bodyguard" ... Danaerys, mother of dragons, on "Game of Thrones." A waifish beauty, invulnerable to fire and possessing the ultimate destructive power in her universe (Cersei and the Mountain being a corrupted reflection of this).
4
@Len Arends "The Shape of Water" -- worst picture to ever win best picture. Stereotyped working assistant, cliched bad guy with bad face; and a repeat look of The Creature of the Black Lagoon as the monster. Cliche after bad cliche. The academy must have been dozing off when they voted that best picture.
C'mon, RomComs were FUN. Maybe they weren't politically correct for today, but I know a bunch of minority men and women who enjoyed this genre. Does everything have to go through the culturally correct prism?
16
@TRS No, but as a Latinx person who has finally become middle class there's no way I would spend money on these movies. There are more of us now and since we don't relate to this genre and won't buy tickets, why make them? I do like the love story of Missandei and Grey Worm (GoT), though; and Jack and Sally (Nightmare Before Christmas). Also, as poor people my husband and I struggled so hard to make a life together. I don't relate to the princess thing at all and those idealized relationships don't compare to min with my real life husband who has had my back every day for almost 20 years.
12
I miss romantic comedies. I miss them a lot.
18
Mr. Morris - This is one of the best pieces I've read in a long time. Bravo. And the implication that rom-coms might just be an antidote to, rather than an expression of, sexism and inquality, is brilliant. Well done.
27
Or perhaps we should call Diahann Carroll and James Earl Jones. Claudine was a rom-com if I ever saw one. In the DVD's commentary Jones explains why Roop is a court jester. Perhaps our definition of a rom-com needs more exploration. Consider, too, Barry Jenkins' Medicine for Melancholy, which offers an inside joke on why a man can't get into a woman's bed without showering. Many African American black women would know why this is funny. And without the wearying black-splaining. And yes, I am a big fan of Working Girl, Something's Got to Give, French Kiss (I could go on and on). This article is so dizzyingly narrow it is painful to read and regrettable.
Wesley, when is your book of film criticism essays being published? It's now on my Amazon wait list. This is film criticism at the highest level: erudite, opinionated, fun and original. Pauline Kael is somewhere right now reading this article with envy, not least of which because your broad humanist understanding of why we watch the movies we love.
My only minor quibbles have to do with your under-appreciation of "Annie Hall" - this film turned the romantic comedy on its head - boy lost girl, boy meets girl, boy fails to get girl. And your mischaracterization of "Shampoo," which was less a romantic comedy than it was a brilliant hybrid of sex comedy, dramedy and dark political satire.
Still, anyone who invokes Preston Sturges, who I believe is one of medium's greatest but largely forgotten, and prototypical, writer-directors, has my complete admiration.
14
What a beautifully written and well thought out peace. I truly miss this style movie as well, and the fun easy-going date nights that used to go with them.
I think the reason these movies aren't made anymore is the obvious: can you just imagine the flak the studios, writers, actors etc. would get in today's age of the easily offended?
One couldn't possibly imagine a plot, a cast, an ending or anything else that could possibly avoid protests, attacks, boycots & you name it for any one of any conceivable reason, real or imagined.
Work and the dating world are hard enough these days, and that's just as a single individual. For Hollywood movies which are no longer so much as viewed and enjoyed, but scrutinized and judged for ideological "purity" by millions, making a romantic comedy must no longer seem even worth the risk.
Better just to make movies based on preposterous science fiction and fantasy plots that are tedious and dull, stuff them with generic actors who match diversity quotas, (or force great diverse casts into mediocrity through generic screenwriting), and then allow the special effects to carry the message - one vague enough that they mean nothing at all and thus avoid any judgement or offence.
8
What I've always hated about romantic comedies was that they never showed how people truly fall in love -- by hanging out, talking, getting to know each other. Instead there had to be the "meet cute" -- one crashing into the other's car or another type of at least symbolic collision. There's never any exploration of why this person loves that person -- it's all chalked up to sexual chemistry.
The only recent movies that have shown falling in love (and then staying in love) the way that I have experienced it myself are the three "Before" movies made by Richard Linklater, Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy. All three of those movies are both deeply romantic and deeply comedic, but as far from a rom-com as you can get. The characters feel real and inhabited, with acres of details about who they are both as individuals and as a couple. That's the kind of love story I want to see.
16
Thanks for this insightful piece. It made me reflect that, besides letting us see how two human beings connect, rom-coms also frequently show us friendship and family and community, often sitting around a table: think of the dinner in Notting Hill, Harold Ramos talking to his son in Knocked Up, the family meals in Moonstruck, the travelers around a table at the B&B in Leap Year, the celebrations (of life & death) in Four Weddings and a Funeral.
34
Drew Barrymore said in a recent interview that she very much would love to team up with Adam Sandler again for another romcom. The two they already made (Wedding Singer and Fifth First Dates) were adorable, because these two stars are adorable. So let's hope this happens.
9
@Nb Don't forget Blended, also a really charming one with those 2.
4
Thank you so much, Wesley Morris, for hitting the nail on the head: it's about how intimate relationships develop their intimacy! One of my favorite books of my 30s was Denise Chavez's "Loving Pedro Infante," a novel about a group of Mexican American women in N.M. who were obsessed with Pedro Infante movies--old-school, black-and-white Mexican romance movies. While the characters argued about which movie was the best, they also figured out how to move forward in their own romantic lives.
When I met Denise Chavez and raved to her about how much I loved her book, she told me that Hollywood had been interested in making the book into a movie...by adapting it and making it about white people. Of course, she said no. But this is a loss for everyone: we want all kinds of love stories, from and for all of the rich communities in our country (and the world). So maybe it's Hollywood that needs to grow up and get what we really want as viewers.
114
They're not gone. Check South Korea, the Phillipines, the Punjabi, Keralaian and Bengali regions of the subcontinent, Pakistan, and Bangladesh.
21
@heath quinn Great tip! And add Nigeria, too. And a really lovely one from Saudi Arabia from a couple of years back...what was it called? The two leads had the same name...
You forgot to mention Boomerang, Booty Call, Deliver Us From Eve and a whole slew of silly, but awesome black romantic comedies of the early 90s before Tyler Perry took over with his soapy dramas and religious overtones
6
@VJO
Booty Call is a fun movie — as classic as an esteemed French farce.
Maybe not a pure romcom, but just as funny as any!
@VJO I was thinking that Black romantic comedies have kicked in. Though there's also a lot of focus on female relationships and I think that's the new frontier in ordinary people movies.
@VJO The writer forgot to mention that People of Color Do EXIST in Rom Coms at all. There are so MANY that deserve note that I was surprised by the Absolute WhiteWashing of this article.
2
I'll get the film snob out of me first by pointing out "Tootsie" is essentially a modernized remake of Billy Wilder's "Some Like It Hot" with Marilyn Monroe, Tony Curtis and Jack Lemmon.
More generally though, I'd suggest rom-coms fell out of style because they represent a reality which never truly existed or, at the very least, no longer exists. That is fully adult couples finding young romantic love.
With few exceptions, that was always a myth served-up to assuage sexual propriety. As a practical matter, there are also few young actors capable of carrying a 90 minute or 2 hour movie as one of two central characters. At some point Hollywood gave up even trying to use age appropriate actors.
You're left with teen romance of varying production quality and high budget films featuring big names. Given the choice, I'll always err on the side of teen romance. They are often surprisingly adult and often very well made.
You might consider "Sing Street." Basically anything from Michael Cera's romantic resume ("Juno," "Nick & Norah," "Scott Pilgrim"). In the more 80s mold, anything John Cusack and the surprisingly durable "Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead." The 90s are hard to cover but I'd choose "Empire Records" maybe. I don't know.
Once you predate the 80s, the genre doesn't exist much because teenagers didn't really exist. Everything bleeds into melodrama and coming of age stories. Admittedly, almost all teen romance comedy overlaps with coming of age. That's the genre.
4
@Andy
yikes !! I ( and social historians ) posit teenagers gained a place in society in the '50's - prior to that you pretty much had to " grow up " after leaving high school .
TV and radio provided entertainment for youth and off we go !!!
" Blackboard Jungle " anyone ?
3
I miss them dearly. I watch alot of 90’s movies for this reason. Goldie Hawn romantic comedies are my favorite. And Kirstie Alley. There was just a Pop Culture Happy Hour along the same lines.
I miss romantic comedies! By the time How to Lose a Guy and Failure to Launch came out I was already nostalgic. They are not the same as the early 1990s ones. I have started a DVD collection for this reason!
6
This is a lovely article. I recently found You've Got Mail playing on cable and made my husband watch it for the first time (probably my 10th time watching it). It was a fun experience and we had so many thoughts on relationships, compatibility and internet dating. So basically still relevant today!
I think Netflilx is doing a good job filling the gap. There are a lot more higher quality rom-com style stories coming out of Netflix than anywhere else. With far more diversity too. Will it be the same? Likely not but it's something. (I dislike most Hallmark movies and I'm not sure why or how to explain it.)
10
@Niche
You've Got mail is my favorite romantic movie <3
4
Rom-coms are not entirely gone but there are far fewer of them. Maybe the best writers have moved to TV but it's probably mostly because movie makers don't see money in them. Harvey Weinstein and his brother made many rom-coms but that's not happening, and sadly, Merchant and Ivory and Nora Ephron are long gone. Maybe Netflix could fill the void and maybe this article will inspire them to make some rom-coms; if they do, new actresses will emerge to follow in the steps of Sandra Bullock, Angie McDowell, Reese Witherspoon, and others.
6
So glad these movies are over. Even as a 12 year old in the 90s I could see they were painfully old-fashioned, harmful to relationships, and not funny or interesting.
6
@Claudia Gold Sorry you're so narrow minded. There's great value to escapist films. Check out "Shop Around the Corner" with Jimmy Stewart. It's not harmful at all. It's actually hopeful and beautiful.
16
Just last night, I watched The Cutting Edge. Yeah, I could’ve watched a more current movie but I just didn’t feel like it. The Cutting Edge covered all the elements that the author wrote about in this article- a real bond being formed between two people and really good character development. I miss rom-coms and I think a lot of young women and men are missing out on them too.
9
@Carmen R I ADORE "The Cutting Edge." (And while we're on the subject, clearly so did Will Ferrell, given that "Blades of Glory" is a delightfully spot-on spoof of it.)
1
@gmg22
Yes! I cracked up so much when I saw Blades of Glory. The Pam-Chenko Will Ferrell style!
What can I say, except, I miss them, too. I am often hoping that no one looks at my netflix account to see that I am such a big fan of rom-coms. Having said that I have always wondered what the effect this genre had on generations of women regarding how relationships actually work and the way in which men and women interact. Their disappearance does leave a void, but maybe makes some room for more realistic goals.
5
Oh what a lovely article. Wordsmithing at its finest. I miss Rom/Coms every day as I search Netflix for something to watch. How many times can I watch Leap Year, or Brigitte Jones? Bring them back. We all need more romance in our lives.
237
Mr. Morris, this is an insightful, beautifully written piece about a subject that many people likely want to brush aside as inconsequential. In confusing, dark, difficult times, stories of hope and love are even more important.
While "rom-coms" may be lacking on the screen, they are not lacking in books. The romance genre as a whole is growing and continues to. Nowadays, one can find romances (with all types of pairings) that are funnier, crazier, browner, and gayer. Hope, love, and that eternal search for meaningful connection are all alive and doing well in books.
There is an engaged audience waiting to see more of these stories come to the screen. One can only hope that more studios and streaming services will see the immense potential in bringing these existing stories to life.
91
The Hundred-Foot Journey is a wonderful romantic comedy for lovers of good food and crosscultural interaction, with pairs of young lovers and older lovers equally complex and fun to watch!
31
@Alicia Lloyd fabulous reference. And great little film.
6
I was just lamenting the loss of easy Jennifer Anniston physical comedy laughs to a friend... she’s my favorite Rom Com actress and I don’t have to suffer through the rest of the cast of Friends.
7
I miss them too! And the great thrillers of the late 90s and early aughts...like "What Lies Beneath". I am sick of all the comic book movies and I can't watch horror...yet apparently they make the studios money so that's what we're stuck with. Sigh.
24
@MJ This bears repeating: I am also so, SO sick of comic book movies. I hardly see anything anymore. With all the struggling writers out there, surely someone has an original story? Anyone?
15
@Abby Morton
I too miss the good psychological thrillers like "What Lies Beneath," "The Hand that Rocks the Cradle," "Double Jeopardy" "Malice" "Jagged Edge" and "Sliver" "Fatal Attraction." Were they great art? Maybe not, but engaging plots, attractive production values, no shoot-em-up scenes or car violence.
Why can't we get a decent thriller without a "franchise character" or stomach-turning gore?
9
If Crazy Rich Asians is not a romantic comedy, I can’t imagine what is.
8
Its not, though I can see how it appears to be one. It is more soap opera/fairy tale-ish with the Cindarella and her rich charming prince. Rom-coms have a bit more equality and every-day relatability to them.
18
@Steven Roth I barely even thought it was a comedy.
1
Add "While You Were Sleeping" to you watch list. Endearing.
35
Four Weddings and a Funeral and Groundhog Day are also great.
53
@Talbot absolutely. And, Groundhog Day is a philosophical musing/treatise on time and humanity, disguised as a rom-com. In the script, the day is repeated over for over 100,000 years before Murray's character "figures it out." That's heavy.
9
@Talbot
Yes. I would nominate "Crazy, Stupid, Love" also.
2
Great article. I will watch Harry & Sally tonight. The 4th time.
4
@PaulN
When my husband and I were dating, he sat down with me to to watch my FAVORITE movie-When Harry Met Sally. I chuckle now to to know what a man interested in a woman will do to please her. He’s never watched it since. I, on the other hand, have watched it at least once a year for the past 20 (and that doesn’t include the many times I watched it in my 20’s) Glad you watched it again. Keeping the rom-coms alive!
5
Thank you for this insightful chronicle on rom-coms.
In the mid-nineties, my wife and I were (and still) charmed by "The American President", with Annette Benning and Michael Douglas. Released a quarter century ago, it oozed of romance. Yet also written into the script of this old film were real facts about global warming and the need for an assault weapons ban. There were also character assassinations by this President's conservative nemesis who questioned his “family values”. Sadly, nothing's changed today, except the validity of facts, true Presidential character and perhaps how young people romance these days.
But ahhh, that grand ballroom dance scene with the dashing President Shepherd and his beautiful (and smart!) lobbyist-sweetheart Sydney Ellen Wade, whirling about to "I Have Dreamed" from the "King and I". Thank you, Messrs. Sorkin and Reiner, for one of Hollywood's best!
50
I always resented being dragged kicking and screaming to Rom-Coms in the 80's and 90"s by well meaning girlfriends. May they (rom-coms) rest in peace for all eternity.
Think I'll watch Zero Dark Thirty or In the Company of Men again tonight. :-)
2
Nice piece of writing. Really well done. Thank you!
9
Where is there room for these movies with all the comic-book garbage out there?
I really miss Jill Clayburgh most of all.
15
@Plennie Wingo Clayburgh was GLORIOUS in An Unmarried Woman.
3
I find it interesting that you mention "Russian Doll" but not another significant Leslye Headland project, "Sleeping With Other People." I think the latter is the modern-day successor to "When Harry Met Sally" in many ways: It's a great New York movie, it continues the discussion about whether men and women can be friends without attraction, and we watch the couple grow and become improved versions of themselves so that they are better equipped to become mates to each other. This warts-and-all approach feels more genuine to our current existential climate, yet the film pays off in hope and joy like all good romantic comedies should. I felt great at the end because I knew the couple could weather whatever challenges lie ahead, and they would have to give up none of themselves or the clever dialogue they would need to combat it. Wise and fulfilled characters at the end is more satisfying to me than the blissfully ignorant couples swollen with requited love at the end of most rom-coms.
4
One of the things that Superman Returns (2006) and Black Panther (2018) had in common was a strong romantic-comedy element. Superman Returns harked back to the Donner films of the 70s, with a Lois Lane who could hold her own with her male costars, even the superpowered one. In an interview, Lupita Nyong'o enthused about how her character Nakia's relationship with T'Challa in Black Panther showed audiences what a mature relationship between equals looks like. Black Panther was much more than just a superhero movie, and I think the romantic comedy aspect was one of many reasons why it became the highest-grossing solo superhero movie ever.
4
All so true! So agree, Mr. Morris. I think love is out of fashion. No, no one is supposed to waste time on any frivolous pursuits---like romance! There's no sophistication in "hooking up" ... it's either Looking for Mr. Goodbar or the stories of the arranged marriage (and that includes people making strategic choices about marriage)... there's very little wit or pleasure or nuance in those kinds of stories.
13
Absolutely! In this dismal Trump era, with its opiod crisis, political extremism, and general apathy, we have a rom-com emetgency! Where are those sweet, silly films when we so desperately need them?
14
Rom-Coms = Chick Flicks = lack of appeal to about half of the potential audience, men. They’re essentially gone because no one can make money on shows that lack broad audience appeal.
2
@Mon Ray Truth! Without gunfire, explosions, lubriciously detailed rapes, abuse, and an atmosphere of casual insult and contempt toward women, what's the point of movies?
15
Fantastic article. Such a thoughtful take on the genre.
24
Dear Mr. Morse, Thank you for this lovely article that made me laugh and remember. I too hunt for what I would call a real story with real people. One I found on Amazon is "A Bird of the Air." If I knew your address I would send the DVD to you. Thanks again, Beverly
9
Insightful, graceful, fantastic writing. Thank you for this article. I will look for others from the author.
26
Great article! I want to mention a few more rom-com’s that are also enjoyable. Daddy’s Little Girls (Idris Elba and Gabrielle Inion) , Coming to America (Shari Hadley and Eddie Murphy) and The Preacher’s Wife (Whitney Houston and Denzel Washington.) All of them are humorous, but have situations where the two main characters have to change to find happiness.
11
@J W Merchant "Coming to America" is one of my all-time favorites. I don't know if it stands alone as strictly a rom-com, because there is so much going on there (the "fish out of water" plotline, the impressions/different characters played by Murphy and Arsenio Hall), but it is a straight-up classic comedy.
6
This was a perfect read for a movie fan who discovered Halliwell’s film guide at age 13 back before IMDB could be imagined. My contention is that since Hollywood abandoned those mid-level, adult themed movies, they have migrated to the small screen. Streaming and binge watching has allowed the viewer to watch the character arcs and drawbridges coming down. For instance Zachary Levi in Chuck is on the classic rom-com journey. His acting charisma is up to the essential necessary ingredient provided by a lead like Cary Grant or Jimmy Stewart. The writers have to love Love and they all seem to work for TV. My Favorite Rom Com? The Philadelphia Story. See it today if you never have.
19
I’ve always loved romantic comedies, but they’ve been a pleasure I’ve felt guilty about, persuaded as I was by the idea that the movies’ prioritizing of getting together over staying together left their audiences with the impression that all the fun and drama in heterosexual romances happen before the altar. But I am moved and touched by Morris’s recasting of this dynamic, which is to describe romantic comedies as showcasing two ordinary people working out what it means to connect.
36
@Kathryn Warren Yes, but technology is part of it. The smartphones won't let us connect. It's hard to not take them out - even when sharing dinner with a gorgeous, intelligent human being sitting across from you in a beautiful restaurant. The movies reflect our lived experience. This addiction to phones is sadder than the demise of this "genre."
7
I've been thinking about this in economic terms...since the "man-cession" w so many jobs lost in manufacturing, construction, finance, and other fields, add to that more competition at work between men and women for fewer jobs at lower or stagnant wages, maybe it's just harder to bridge the gap in real life and in film. Add to that the economics of film, the need for global markets where nuance is tougher to sell, and we're left w literal comic book characters. I do miss the good old days... :)
27
@sue denim Yes what is a guy to do these day? it is a sort of odd double bind on the male side, to be derided under extremist feminism for wanting to consolidate economic stability while simultaneously being expected in real life to have it! Truth is, we're all scrambling for crumbs and there are fewer and fewer of them.
Tough to feel the way forward towards a life together/raising a family...
Clearly a big part of the solution lies in expanding the pie: a much better bargain for most workers: single payer, student loan cancellation, parental leave, etc, and true efforts to drain the swamp, end government waste and corruption (MTA construction practices), and/or bring down/better use taxes.
6
THANK YOU for this piece, such a lovely retreat from the depressing news of the day. Yes, Rosalind Russell could do things with her posture that made shouting unnecessary, and that is such a great observation!
113
Thank you for this wonderful romp through decades of romantic comedies. Gweneth Paltrow was also a player with Sliding Doors, Shallow Hal and Shakespeare in Love. Movies before YouTube and the internet and social media were more about fantasy. No matter how ridiculous the plot, you could get away with a lot. But now the curtain has been pulled back and we are left with a cynical and skeptical viewing public that never really believed in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny. I can only hope that 30 years from now we will be able to find enough movies that will inspire this type of nostalgia.
24
Romance, with a little bit of comedy still lives on TV, Netflix and other series that rely on the possibility of romance that culminate in marriage to keep their audience loyal years after year... The Good Wife, Grey's anatomy, Victoria, Blacklist, Bones, Strange things, and of course Downton Abbey. It's unfortunate that the Male leads are routinely killed off because they do not want to continuing to play second fiddle to the female lead, but there is always another promising male lead over the "rainbow"
8
You're so right. In fact, my wife and I were just lamenting the disappearance of the rom-com last week when we sat down to catch some netflix.
22
Excellent writing!
22
And where are the tv comedies like Everybody Loves Raymond, Golden Girls, Seinfeld, and Curb Your Enthusiasm? I watch the reruns when I need a good laugh!
7
@Carole I vote for Frasier for its wit and sophistication and Sex and the City for its bawdiness and memorable love of my favorite city. As anyone ever noticed that it hardly ever rains in NYC? And don't get me started on Everybody Loves Raymond. I don't know how many times I've watched all 222 episodes. Like you, I keep going back to reruns when I can't stand all the dreck that passes itself as comedy nowadays.
@me I think the lack of older-looking people in films/tv set in contemporary times is because all of the middle age men are playing superheroes a la Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible, Denzel Washington in The Equalizer, Liam Neeson in Taken, and all the middle age women are still "hot". Even women like Helen Mirren make sure that photos of them in a bikini appear every once in awhile so the world doesn't forget that they still "got it."
No one wants to be branded as old.
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Who is this person and why am I only now reading him?! Besides omitting any reference to a star is born (a grave sin not to be quickly forgiven) this is the best movie/cultural criticism I have read in years.
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@Big Cow "Star is Born" reference is in the last paragraph.
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@Big Cow he did mention it, in the last paragraph. I second your last line. I was just wondering myself why there are so few films anymore that elicit laughter and explore relationships of various kinds - it is not just the rom-com. It is that middle budget film that is missing. I do enjoy superhero and other big budget films but I am often disappointed. I only started to watch them after the first Avengers, which I loved - because it was funny and it dealt extensively with (non-romantic) relationships.
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@Big Cow Well, he did win the Pulitzer Prize. :-)
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Curious how readers think Silver Linings Playbook fits into this schematic?
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@ZoomC
Good point. The drawbridge as mental illness.
Thank you. What a wonderful, insightful article. I look forward to more of the same.
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I loved this. I started the first sentence, expecting to give up in boredom after a few seconds, but was instantly hooked and read to the end. Now I want to watch old romantic comedies. I also want to read more Wesley Morris. He writes like an angel.
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I was about to write the exact same comment then I read yours.
Thanks Wesley, loved the article, can’t wait to read more. 🔥🧠 ❤️
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@John
Totally agree - more writing from Wesley Morris please!
And a big huzzah to Katherine Hepburn, Rosalind Russell, Claudette Colbert, Veronica Lake, Lauren Bacall, Jean Arthur ... all the women of rom coms who had a snappy comeback, a healthy personal identity, a sense of humor - and pursued men who liked that about them : )
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@John I couldn't agree more! Both the breadth of the article and the beautiful writing knocked my socks off ... thank you Wesley!
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Mr. Morris, I love this piece. A woman of a certain age, I re-read Jane Austen just for the pleasure of the complications ending with that drawbridge you so neatly grab from that wonderful David Denby, whom I miss so much. I think I'd add Overboard with Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell to your lovely list. Look, these movies don't make me think very hard. They're candy. But when I need comforting familiarity, I will take When Harry Met Sally over Rashomon. Don't fret. Julia Roberts isn't done with us, I bet, even if the others tired of the genre -- or if Hollywood deemed them too old to fall in love.
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@Martha
Yes. Thank you, Martha. Jane Austen anytime. Because she writes some very funny characters. But most of all, she treasures how people come together. Elizabeth and Darcy, Emma and Knightley, Anne and Wentworth. There are times we need reminding how people "come together" and so Tennyson's words about spring are worthy here. We all turn our thoughts to love. I agree that there are times I would prefer to watch When Harry Met Sally over Kurosawa. Not because Kurosawa is unworthy but more because a little bit of romance gives me hope. It is really that simple. I don't have to be in love myself. But the hope of love makes me live.
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@Martha
Overboard is an absolutely silly delight....
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Ah, "The Lady Eve," one of my all-time favorite films -- elegant and funny, and still saucy. One of that burst of wonderful Preston Sturges films in the 40's, it made me a fan of Barbara Stanwyck.
See also Stanwyck in "Christmas in Connecticut."
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@Tim in Michigan Palm Beach Story is another Sturges winner.
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@Talbot
Don't forget Gary Cooper and Barbara Stanwyck in Ball of Fire, directed by Howard Hawks
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@Tim in Michigan
"Christmas in Connecticut" is one of the most underappreciated films ever. Stanwyck was great; Dennis Morgan - a revelation; Sydney Greenstreet- a hoot; Uncle Felix reminds me of displaced people back in Akron.
Romantic Comedy back when nice people inhabited this country.
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What about Ang Lee's The Wedding Banquet? Romantic comedy with a twist starring two gay men. Please comment!
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@SAQ Wonderful and enjoyable and very real.
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@SAQ The Wedding Banquet was released in 1993. Twenty-six years ago!
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I Love the Old Rom-Coms such as "Notting Hill" and "Moonstruck" . Unfortunately many of the more recent ones are formulaic and stiff. Get back to basics and write a solid well written story with dimensional characters that are Real. If you do that I can guarantee you will have a blockbuster hit. Women especially want great romantic comedies, and will go to see them. They just aren't being made. Please make a solid well crafted Romantic Comedy and the audience WILL Come.
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@Dem in CA
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Oh, my. Nottting Hill is old? Yes, well I did admit to being of a certain age, but it doesn't seem old to me. However, I do agree with both of your examples of good romantic comedies, especially Moonstruck, but I'm also a sucker for Hugh Grant. I guess we need some star power again.
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@Martha
He was good, Cher, not for me. My favorite silly movies of late are the two Paddington ones, Grant is in that (as is Kidman)but by no means is either the star—that’s the bear and the mom.
1
Self love has replaced romance.
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@God: Woody Allen anticipated this. That seems appropriate now, somehow.
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I miss ‘em too.
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Gone because they are "sexist". This is the new reality, welcome to 1984.
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@William Stuber
Mr. Stuber, how is When Harry Met Sally sexist? Or even Pretty Woman? Both female leads end up being chased by the men, having taught them a thing or two about sensitivity. I'm usually the first person to cry "sexist," but I don't think the modern romantic comedies are sexist. They are just corny. On a bad day, I can cuddle up with corniness.
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@Martha How is a movie about a prostitute falling in love with her wealthy client, who showers her with fancy clothes and experiences and remakes her into a more acceptable image, sexist?
I don't know where to begin.
But I don't think it's a modern film, either. 1990 was a full generation ago.
I love many rom-coms, despite their issues. I long for a focus on character and connection, in film and in the world, and I appreciate the optimism included in rom-coms. (Ahem. In romantic comedies.)
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@William Stuber I love it when a man tells a woman what is "sexist." Irony much?
The “romcom” category on movie streaming services is a barren wasteland. Barely any rom and forget about the com. I dig out my Meg Ryan DVDs, or watch TCM for gems from the 1930s-40s. In current productions, I actually think The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel comes closest to a romcom.
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@Patricia Sears
Paddington.
Good essay, thanks. You write really well. You should try writing a romantic comedy yourself, I bet it’d be really good.
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I miss romcom....and I miss chick lit. I miss stories made for and about women. I miss stories that focus on human connections instead of human destruction and suffering.
Netflix is starting to address that market....but it’s a market that is greatly underserved.
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Check out “The Chaperone” by Laura Moriarty. This book will become PBS’s first full length movie, as I understand.
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@Gwe Yep. I miss good old fashioned contemporary romance. Today so much romance tries to hard to be edgy.
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@JE - Yes, it will be released in theaters and then on PBS itself.
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I miss them too. Although, probably the best reason for the demise of most of my relationships, but hey.
Is there a new Meg Ryan to take up the slack?
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I love this essay. It's so well-written, and so true.
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Seriously? No one's commented on this?
There are romantic comedies happening now. The genre continues to be nurtured by the Hallmark channel and some other cable networks. Usually not Hollywood production standards, but some of the scripts are whip sharp.
There's a bit of a parallel in how country music is now the genre that concerns itself with family, children, nature and ordinary working life, mostly. At its worst it's a collection of big-hatted fakery, but at its best there's sweetness at its core, and it is brave enough to risk corniness.
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In general, movies made with intelligence, grace, good acting and substantive plots are gone. With a few exceptions, they've been replaced by flash, gore, deafening special effects, aliens, zombies, lowest-common-denominator writing, woeful predictability, sitcom-level jokes, and acting out of a high-school talent show. I'm not sure what demographic they're meant to capture, but it certainly isn't one that thinks (except, perhaps, about video games).
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You have to get a 10 ticket pass to your local art house theater. That is the last bastion of non-mass-market-formula movies.
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@Olenska You're so right. That's the dreck I was thinking about when I posted an earlier comment.
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@Olenska - Netflix has some wonderful films, mostly from other countries. It's the movie theater chains that so rarely have anything worth paying for. My own device it to follow Michael Phillips, film critic for the Chicago Tribune. He has his own page on the Rotten Tomatoes site. In ten years I've only seen one recommendation of his that disappointed me. Find a film critic whose best reviews seem to align with what you look for in film, and find those films - usually online for streaming or purchase.