I have a similar technique to you. I do the nightly throw out. Then in the morning, when my kids invariably ask where their pieces of art are (they’re actually pretty good some of them, certainly time consuming), I say mummy must have put them in the bin. As my kids are yelling at my wife and my wife is yelling at me, I head upstairs for a shower.
24
I find the approach of this writer incomprehensible. Yes, the stuff coming home from school never ends. I once told my daughter to inform her preschool teacher that we would be purchasing a second fridge so we could continue to hang her stuff up.
As another commenter noted, though, nearly every adult has a vast collection of useless clutter that should be discarded first. My wife and I actually want to save the kids' creations. Not all of it, obviously, and much of the useless stuff we threw out, but only in consultation with its creators. But discarding indiscriminately behind your children's back? Why would you want to? What message are you sending them? "Here, mommy, I made this for you!" Oh, let's throw it out when s/he's not looking? It is not only a slap in the face to your child, it sends a message that they shouldn't trust you (behind their backs? Really?), and deprives you of keepsakes later on.
My oldest drew some pictures at age three, which my wife then framed. Those pictures are now hanging up in the house to which we recently moved, and my son can see them when he visits from college. We are very happy that we kept what we did. Plenty of other creations are still in the file cabinet, which we run into on occasion and enjoy every time we do. Which is the way it should be. No regrets.
Your child made something for you, and you would throw it out behind their backs? I find that mind-boggling.
110
Sounds like an elaborate way to ruin all trust with your children but okay
It might just be a scribble to you, but it could be a victory to them. This just seems like something that didn't need to be said.
74
Why not just photograph key drawings with your phone? Then you have a record with a method to build a collage (only if you wish). Just a thought.
36
I store all of my kids art, projects and learning in trovvit (www.trovvit.com). It's great. We create a "record" (think post) with photos, videos and/or documents and reflect and describe the work. These records can be share privately in a feed with others (family, friends, mentors) and are all organized in their own private "trove." When they are older and want to apply to selective schools, jobs or colleges they can curate these records to tell their story with a public facing portfolio and profile.
The best part is watching my kids go back and reflect on their successes and struggles. For me and my wife we are better able to advocate for our children by really "seeing" them and removing our own biased about who we think they should be.
26
Whenever I visit my mother I am reminded of how talentless I was as a child by the few drawings she still has hung up.
36
I’ve got all pictures my kids drew from pre-k up. They’re 21, 23, and 24 now. Digitizing won’t work for me; it’s not just the image- I like to touch the paper they touched as children. Call me crazy. But they bring me joy.
82
My ex used to throw away all of our kids' artwork.
Did I mention she's my ex?
I think there's value in showing kids that their productive output is important, even if only to me as their parent, and it's hard to do that if their output is in the circular file. I'm not saying they should get a participation award for some scribbles, but I feel it sends a pretty negative message to simply toss their artwork, particularly when it's done in an underhanded way as described here. If it's done with the child's input on which pieces are no longer important to him or her, as part of a lesson about keeping things tidy, that's one thing, but unless it's absolutely necessary, simply chucking it when they're not looking seems like a missed opportunity, at best.
63
The kids and I toss their art together. I let them pick absolute favorites (like one a month) and then at the end of the school year they get to pick a few of those to toss into their "memory" boxes. Everything else is recycled or thrown out. No secrets no surprises! We've done this for years.
93
There was no way I as going to throw out any of my kids' artwork/schoolwork. (I'm not a monster...) But there was no way I was going to keep it either.
I am happy to say I came up with the perfect solution about 10 years ago, when my oldest (of 3) was just 7. Everyone I've told now does the same thing:
Each month, we would compile all schoolwork, homework, poems, drawings, projects, etc for and then send them in a big envelope/box to the grandparents. (Each month, we alternate which side gets the care package.)
It's a win-win: grandparents get to feel connected, in the loop and ooh and ahh over their brilliant grandchildren ("100% on his multiplication table? He's clearly a genius."), I get credit for being a thoughtful child, I don't have to lie to my kids about where it went ("We sent it to grandma and grandpa so they could see it too!"), and then my parents have the dilemma as to whether or not they are big enough monsters to throw out the artwork/homework of their precious grandchildren... Win. Win. Win.
58
If you have to throw it all away, why not take a picture of every little creation and keep them in a file on your computer. Just the act of throwing away says a lot about how you don't value their creativity, making it worthless in their eyes. That unintended perception may come back and bite you when they get older. I understand the storage problem but you can make a big deal out of each little piece of art by making a big deal recording it, you can even teach them how to take pictures of it giving them a sense of value.
29
@Sally Larson
Great ideas. Your ideas would also eliminate the deception.
7
@Sally Larson - Come on! Parents can’t save everything. Just because they throw stuff away doesn’t mean they don’t value their kids’ creativity. (And I’m sorry, but a scribbled page or yet another crafts project that is mostly glue that day care/nursery school sends home is not art for the ages and parents shouldn’t treat it like it is.)
Saving special items or projects of value should be done, but saving everything? No. There’s a fine line with this stuff. My parents saved my report cards, some of my writing from school, some drawings, and college things: I think what they saved takes up part of a drawer in each of their dressers. I’m glad they saved that stuff because it was meaningful to us all. They still save cards I send them. But did they save every half-baked artwork? No. Their house would look like an episode of “Hoarders” if they’d done that. I remember I caught them throwing away a sample of my cursive handwriting that I’d brought home when I was learning cursive in elementary school. The teacher had sent us home with a sheet of new letters we’d learned so we could “hang them on the refrigerator”. It had been in the house only briefly when I caught my parents disposing of it. When I protested they said, “We can’t save everything.” I was eight. I survived, and never once thought they didn’t value me.
It’s one thing to value your kids’ creativity. It’s another to live in a house so cluttered with kids’ artwork on every surface that you forget adults live there.
51
I must confess I save a lot of drawings and more so their writings. Like the time when my 5 year old son wrote books and books of one line stories, with exotic spellings, like.....'The shark rood a moto byke. He looked at the see..and died.' Death seemed a really convenient way for him to end the story rather quickly. A faint scratch...the first my daughter ever made. And her elaborate, adjective filled stories of girls. A progression of drawings from crude scratches to elaborate cartoons or birds. I must confess though, we have a shed in our garden that has countless sterlite boxes filled with just this. Some day I will sit through and sort out the kudzu. The question is how do I know what is important to the kids? I mean if I throw out silly connect the dots or colorings, it's possibly useless for me, but it may be a significant memory for them. My suggestion since you lack the space and seem awfully more efficient than me :-))....why not scan all the drawings and keep them in the omnipresent cloud? Then you would have them all and could guilt free throw stuff out.
Slime....try vinegar? You need an acid to break the crosslinks between borate and polyvinyl acetate in the glue. If it is cellulose, then too an acid will help.
7
It's ok to be the monster mom, when you love your child, hug and kiss them, be for them in times of need. Attend to their health, security, and happiness. Listen to the same jokes over and over again, and laugh each time (I have a particularly funny 10 yo, whose life aim is to be a stand-up comedian). We changed three houses, in two cities. Most of my 10yo preschool art got lost. 1 or 2, I framed. So, it's great to see another mother unapologetically loving their child, and trashing piles of paper. Yes...piles of single pages that can take over your house. The "creative monster" age will continue until they leave for college, so don't worry about memorabilia.
10
Random disposal of their early work without at least proper documentation could adversely affect your child’s future career as a famous artist. This is a wonderful opportunity to educate both of you on the strategic import and professional value of a catalogue raisonné.
44
I am sorry to read so many negative comments about the writer as mother in these comments. I thought she offered an honest response to a real problem (the stacks of Moana pictures with three scribbles CAN take over!), after which she provided some useful and kind ways to address it with one's child/ren.
I am lucky. My daughter's school encourages children to keep their *best* work, the work *they* are most proud of, and that is what comes home. From there, she and I talk about what she would like to keep longer (or forever). If that were not the case, I would initiate that conversation myself. There is something to be said for learning discernment, too.
Maybe some of the other parents responding here have older children? I can assure them--the sheer volume of art coming home is far greater than the amount I produced as a child. We cannot hang on to everything.
37
A monster? Well, maybe that's a stretch. Maybe. But you are definitely acting like a monster.
My mom did what you are doing. Over half a century later I still miss my art and cherish what little I have left (it's very, very little). Whatever you think, you are hurting your children. Does that make you a monster? Your kids may wind up hating you. I know lots of artists who do hate their parents for this reason. Monster or not, that may be in your future.
Do yourself and your kids a favor, use your {insert computational device name here}'s camera. The biggest danger is that as digital formats change the pictures may no longer be viewable - so keep up with the times before you lose it all. A 4 TB drive is really small. Buy two. Use the second as a back up for the first one.
Stop acting monstrously.
19
@Mike - If kids grow up to hate their parents because they threw out their artwork, those kids need to re-evaluate their lives. Many people would give anything for that to be the worst problem they ever faced with their parents, or simply in their lives in general.
Most people do not grow up to become even modestly successful artists, and parents shouldn’t be expected to save every messy craft project on the off chance that their kid grows up to be another Picasso. (And with kids who might travel down such a path, the talent is often evident early. Even then, the parents can’t possibly be expected to save everything so that it can perhaps one day, when they’re long dead, compliment a future MoMA retrospective of their child’s professional work.) While I’m sorry that it’s half a century on and you are still hurt that your mom chucked your art, it’s not monstrous for parents not to save every scrap of paper their kid takes a crayon to for five seconds. Pick the good stuff, the meaningful stuff, and the stuff that brings good memories and save that, not some frazzled piece of macaroni glue art that daycare sent home because it was a Tuesday and the sky was blue and the kids had to make something to celebrate this momentous occasion in their lives.
17
I think the commentators aren’t familiar with the current situation in which early childhood centers send home scribbles every day. These are not art projects. They’re a PR strategy and used to keep parents feel connected to their children, similar to the automated text message photos parents can receive throughout the day.
In fact, saving each of these pieces of paper on which a child spends 3 minutes to crayon sends a profoundly bizarre message that their every scribble should be catalogued. Very different than saving an art project a child is proud to have made.
86
Also an evil tosser-outer. I empty backpacks once a week into little plastic drawers that we have for each kid. When the drawers get full, we keep some stuff and toss the rest. At the end of every semester I fill those clear vinyl pockets and put them in a binder that each kid has for keepsakes from that year of school. Keeps it manageable.
25
I do this, too, and the stream of stuff never stops. If I think something is particularly precious after it’s spent a month on display, I either put it in the filing cabinet, or I take a picture of it. I get just as much joy seeing an image of the “masterpieces” as I do the real thing. Also, anyone who might accuse the author, who stated that she lives in an apartment with no storage, of gathering “piles” stuff of her own as if it’s selfish of her, needs a reminder that she is allowed to have a pair, or two, of shoes that she doesn’t wear every single day. Are children are precious, everything they bring home from school is not. And, Mommy should have her own closet.
9
I don’t have a single piece of art from my childhood. My mom chucked it all. Of all the disappointments I’ve suffered in my life, this is negligible.
As for my own children, I saved certain things that touched me. Very few things. They are adults now, neither of them seem concerned about the paper plate with macaroni glued to it that I disposed of. The idea that you could possibly save every thing your child creates is ludicrous.
71
This is just plain evil. Your children will never trust you and with good reason.
Also you are missing the opportunity to teach them to edit and evaluate their own work.
18
I think this is really funny. I also worry, just a little bit, about the "cool mom". This is the mom that goes against political correctness for the sole purpose of being considered alternative or somehow cynically wise. Rebellion can be cool, but after awhile it can also look a little pathetic.
5
Surely you can find room for one banker's box per child? Each semester help the kids decide what to keep. Photograph what is disposed of.........but remember to send things to grandparents, etc, too.
At my grandma's house, I found a "book" I had made when I was five years old. I had cut and pasted pictures from magazines, including National Geographic. When I didn't know what something was, I asked grandma. With a picture of the Exodus, grandma explained it to me. I captioned it "Lost People", because, well, grandma's story was too long!
Not only was my little book a treasure of my own making, but it was a treasure of time with grandma. My own mother threw things away almost as soon as I came home from school.
14
My husband is a retired package designer with a BFA in lithography and photography. His solution was to have a portfolio case for each of our two children. At the end of the school year they would select the best pieces for their portfolio and any terrific 3D projects were placed in a clear container to be stored away. Everyone was happy, felt validated, and learned to evaluate their creative output. Today our son is a successful writer/director and our daughter a successful celebrity stylist/costume designer. Tossing their work gives the impression that one does not value creativity. Whether your child grows up to be in one of the arts fields is irrelevant as creative thinking is imperative in all fields. That’s how medical research, computer coding, and advancements in all sorts of fields happen, because the successful people are creative thinkers!
31
Anything my daughter created from scratch that can lay flat, I keep in a box that has layers of artwork like a geologic record. Three pieces have been framed. Any pieces involving straws, rocks, foam cutouts, coloring book pages, etc. get discreetly tossed. It winnows the bulk considerably. Now that she is in 4th grade, the daily deluge has slowed in favor of math and spelling homework and I’m very glad I have her early creations to look back on. (I often think of the millions of art projects produced each year for a moment of enjoyment going into landfills to rot for thousands of years...)
28
I guess my biggest question is; Do you purge their “art” as part of a genuine pursuit of decluttering? Or do you purge it to make room for mountains of your own worthless belongings (dozens of pairs of shoes, a closet full of seldom-worn clothing, that bread maker you last used in 2003...)? Purging is a necessary, but it should be done even handedly. One thing I did when my kids were little, before any big purge, was take pictures of or scan some of the cuter stuff before it went away. Digital files take up no space.
20
Yeah, I remember having my efforts being thrown away which led me to the conclusion that they weren't important. What about a filing cabinet? What about scanning or photographing the work itself? You don't need to save everything but taking pleasure in this process, one that makes most individuals feel a twinge of guilt, makes me wonder what other empowering messages you are sending to your children.
14
My parents saved 1 box of my artwork from all of my school years. I have it today. I became an elementary Art teacher and love having access to my creations from childhood. However I plan to eventually take pictures of most and toss them. For my own children, I have a large art portfolio that I keep their favorite pieces in. From preschool I would clean it out every once in a while to make more room, but now that they are older I ask them to select what they want to save. We take pictures of some pieces before we throw them out. There are companies that you can send your pictures to and they create books or save it in a cloud. As an Art teacher I see how hard my students work on their projects, and of course some children are more engaged than others, but I would recommend asking your children which pieces are meaningful to them. They should understand that you can't hold on to much, but photograph what they like and hold on to a few over the years. Portfolios are easy to slid in a closet or on top of a bookshelf.
24
Thank god my mother saved quite a few of my early paintings and drawings, and even wrote dates and my comments on the backs. I still treasure them 50 years later.
27
Funny, I find myself practically incapable of throwing out my kids' artwork, but they couldn't care less. I guess I'm weird that way...
10
You are doing the caring for them. They don’t have to be concerned because you show such respect and caring.
They feel safe.
17
My sister-in-law uses an old ipad and scanner to keep artwork and still avoid clutter. Scanning the picture is treated like a compliment- "this is so nice we need to preserve it". The kids will often ask as soon as they show their parents their work "can we scan it now?" Then it's put on an old ipad which is now a dedicated picture display in the family room. No need for fridge display.
10
I collect my favorite ones and plan on cutting the most interesting bits into shapes to make a cool collage.
Of course, that's the plan when I can find "free-time", whatever that is...
4
Fortunately for me, my mother saved many of my best works and I still enjoy them many many years later. The apartment situation is tough however. Why not take a photo of every piece, or the ones you think are great? This way when your daughter asks to see something you will not disappoint!
10
I find this weird...why wouldn’t you just put their art work away, saved in a drawer or envelope.....for the sheer pleasure it will be to look at decades later.
16
it seems to me you have missed the best way to "save" these masterpieces. Take a photo of them and organize the photos in you computer or even on the cloud. Some items like clay alligators and puppies you will want to keep. (trust me) But most things can be archived and even printed out if desired in the future. Pretty painless all around if you ask me.
8
Been doing this for years!
We’d be up to our eyeballs in literal reams of paper by now if we hadn’t. We’ve got chalkboards and whiteboards and a good old fashioned sidewalk to draw on, but as soon as he has enough cash, he’s out buying himself another 500 sheets of paper to share his thoughts on.
Now cue the outrage in 3...2...1....
10
So agreed. From these comments, adults seem to think their children will emerge as superstars whose trail of papers should be memorialized.
10
"Because I am a monster, I delight in throwing my children’s artwork away while they’re sleeping" ."
That doesn't say much about you as a mother. You are betraying your children's trust in you.
When my father died, I discovered that he had saved my childhood haikus, which he had run off on his mimeograph machine at work. He saved every birthday card and Father's Day card that his five children had created for him ,along with our report cards, standardized test results, etc .I was very touched to discover that my father had treasured my and my siblings creations such that he had saved them all those years.
If the rest of our creations had made it past my mother, I imagine that he would have saved them. Had she cleaned out his bureau, rather than assigning the task to me, she would have trashed that which my father had treasured such that he had saved it until the day he died. She couldn't dispose of every trace of him fast enough.
I created a folder for each of my four siblings, and gave each their artwork, cards, report cards, and so forth.
Naturally ,my father had been the more loving parent to his children, who treasured his children along with our artwork.
I have saved the artwork and cards that my ten nieces and nephews gave me. The eldest is 38. I live in an apartment. It's about the space in one's heart, not one's living space.
64
Bravo....!!!
Yes....that’s what it’s all about, it’s not clutter, it’s loving memories!
21
The point to me is that these things belong to your child....not you.....so you have no right to discard them. Childhood souvenirs can be very important to the child and the parents also. When my son was in eighth grade he built an electric guitar,now 36 he has no interest in it so it hangs on the wall in my den. You can never tell what will be important to your child so don't try....just enjoy the memories.
14
If that is so, then the child should rent their own storage space. What’s up with this parent police mentality? My God! Go stand up for actual travesties happening everywhere but not from urban parents struggling to keep up the output of their children’s paper creations.
13
And my guess is that’s your only child.
I had 5 kids in 8 years. All “artists.”
They don’t judge me for tossing their art in the trash. They know I love them. I tell them their art is beautiful, I love it, I give them a hug and then toss it when they’re not looking. Busy kids with a lot going on and good family dynamics don’t care where their art finds it final resting place.
14
Just take a photo before you toss them. Bonus - you can make them all into an awesome photostream for maximum embarrassment on their 21st birthday.
12
Yes it can be overwhelming but this flood of fledgling masterpieces are a window into how your future think tank founders once saw the world and themselves. Let me propose an interim step between backpack and dumpster. Take a photo with your phone.
Dozens of easy self-publish photography book companies have popped up recently to suit all aesthetics from Snapfish to Artifact Uprising. Send these snapshots to the care of one of these companies and weeks later slide your child’s time capsule onto the bookshelf for them to one day lug to college and years later discover in a basement box in their first home and plunk down on the couch to page through with a glass of wine and a head full of memories.
6
Embrace all your children's creative output. Let it infiltrate your space and life like a good meal. Put aside a room just for that purpose ... or a nice big wall. Change it or layer the artwork over time. Their art is definitely not a mess it is a gift to the world. An expression of creative energy that must be preserved and embraced in a time when children are literally addicted and controlled by iPads and smartphones. Embrace and encourage your child's wonderful and creative vision. Please don't throw their artwork into the garbage ... that is both an insult to their wonderful inquiring minds and an expression of your ignorance.
R. Mutt
10
This is a constant battle in our household, and as the author described we do the same - out in the recycle bin while the kids are sleeping!
7
Key is 'while they're sleeping '. Nothing worse than having your child somehow discover their work buried in the bin.
4