Would never consider having an operation that nullifies one of the basic essences of my humanity. Would never ask my wife to do it either. Only beta men neuter themselves.
4
I'm really glad that my sense of self worth as a human being is not determined by my ability to take a minor part in the conception of offspring.
I can't imagine being so sensitive that the concept of responsibly making a decision not have any, or any more children, would make someone *less* than others in some way.
What is so important about bilogically producing many offspring? It's not like we are running out of humans as a species, and the resources of our planet are finite, so we quite frankly *can't* continue population growth indefinitely.
There have been other species in the past that massively dominated the global population of all life on Earth, but in the end that dominance is what lead to their downfall and eventual extinction.
If it's raising a child that you feel so strongly about, the I would argue there are many children in this world who are in need of family who's lives would be dramatically improved if they were to be adopted.
59
@W Smith "Beta" men are the ones who feel the need to lump their fellow men into categories like "alpha" and "beta."
10
@Andrew - Please, though, not adopted by him.
2
Why don't men have vasectomies:
Men don't bear the pain of pregnancy or childbirth. Men don't die in childbirth. Men don't do most of the housework, childrearing, or lose 5% of their lifetime income when they have EACH child. Men consider, "Well I might get rid of my wife (in some manner) and might want children with another woman (someday). This woman I have now is interchangeable with another woman. I can replace her and get a new one. I need a plan B (that treats my current wife like an object which is interchangeable with any other object)."
* They would rather have their partner have major surgery than have minor surgery themselves
* They would rather open up their partner to major complications than give up minor ANYTHING themselves.
* Prior to Obamacare, Tubal ligations were VASTLY more expensive than vasectomy. Tubals were STILL VASTLY more common.
The ONLY conclusion is: men are SELFISH.
Narcissism. It ugly. It's nasty. It's sick. We don't like to admit it. It's a fact. Men are more narcissistic than women.
Every day, in every way, men sacrifice their female partners for their own pleasure, financial gain, and even for the existence of their own children.
Lysistrata was right.
216
@Dejah Lysistrata didn't go on strike for any of the reasons you listed. She wanted to stop men from killing each other in wars.
12
So because a man wants the opportunity to have children he is a greedy selfish and entitled narcissist who does no housework and somehow uses only money from his wife to support their kids. There are some cases where this may be true but to make these assumptions is blatant misandry.
1
If more men did have to bear the pain of child birth, there would be a lot less kids in the world. As a man, I cannot imaging a 9 pound human being popping out me, it can’t secretly be a Party.
6
My wife and I have 2 children and I had my vasectomy last November; our youngest isn't even a year old. We're very happy that WE made the decision for me to have a vasectomy. I feel that it was one of the most selfless things that I could do for my wife (20 minute procedure, drive myself home, recovered in a day; a lot easier than a vaginal delivery). It hasn't negatively affected my masculinity one bit and probably has been a positive in our relationship.
I am an OB/GYN who has counseled numerous women on tubal ligation/sterilization, and I have also witnessed the complications that come from tubal ligation. I find myself now also promoting vasectomy even more to my patients and their partners, especially given my positive experience.
I am strongly in favor of women having choice over their reproductive options, but I agree that not enough is done to promote men taking true responsibility for their reproductive options with a vasectomy.
43
I had my tubes tied at 40. All I had to do was add 20 + 40 to come to a decision. My husband is a little squeamish so I was fine with being the one to take the step. I knew I did not want to be pregnant again and there was a chance, if something happed to me or to us, that some time in the future he might want to father another child. 26 years later we have never regretted our choice.
4
I had a vasectomy in December of 2018 and feel like the doctor vastly underprepared me for the possible complications. He said some men are back at work as early at Monday (after a Friday procedure) and that the most that I could expect was a few weeks of discomfort. Three months later I am finally emerging from a cycle of unexplained (by both the original urologist and various second and third opinion doctors) pain, swelling, and anxiety. I still believe that the surgery is a good option for couples that wish to stop having children and certainly less risky than female sterilization, but I think it’s worth heavy discussion with your physician about what to expect.
7
It seems to me that whether or not a man is willing to have a vasectomy is really a test of his love for and commitment to his partner. If he really loves her and has seen her struggle with temporary contraception, the discomfort and pain of pregnancy, the horrors of childbirth and/or c-section(s) and breastfeeding, then getting a vasectomy is a pretty simple decision. If he refuses then it’s pretty clear that he really doesn’t care less about her, as long as he gets what he wants and doesn’t have to suffer or sacrifice in any way. My husband not only refused to get a vasectomy, but he refused to even discuss it. So I got an IUD inserted and when my IUD failed having worked its way out of my uterus and into my abdominal cavity and I needed surgery to remove it anyway, I decided to get my tubes tied as well. I should say the procedure was far more painful than I expected and my recovery took around two weeks. I am still angry about it. But, the real damage is to our marriage. Because, if I was in any doubt before, I now know exactly how he really feels about me. That he has no issues throwing me under the bus. I also have less respect for him as a man. And now having had the surgery and having gained more sexual freedom, if the right opportunity ever arises I have no reason to feel remotely guilty.
39
I had my tubes tied, tubal ligation, at age 29. We had two children by that time. As a couple, we did not want more. I felt that if I were to die prematurely my husband might later want more children, an option he should not be denied. Nor did I wish to take birth control pills for another twenty years because of potential long term consequences. Tubal ligation was a pretty easy decision for me.
We are both now in our seventies. I do not regret my ligation, nor do I resent that my husband did not get a vasectomy instead. It was the right decision for us, and for me. We all have our own reasons for what we do.
10
My wife and I proudly proclaimed we were “1 & done” after our son was born. Her OB insisted she have a ParaGard IUD implanted. What could be more safe than a non-surgically-invasive, easily reversible device that is 99.9% effective, right?
Nope. We ended up having another boy as a result of this but (whom we refer to as “the .1%”) I vowed to have a vasectomy. It was simple and easy for recovery. No regrets on my part having done it.
However, my good friend had a miserable experience with his that as drastically altered his sex life and requires ongoing weekly therapy. So, it really depends on how it’s done, and by whom.
Sort of like an IUD 😕.
12
My husband has had post-vasectomy pain for more than 35 years. When he had his vasectomy, no one told him this was a possible complication. Perhaps they didn't know it at the time. The article, which seems decidedly slanted in favor of vasectomies as opposed to procedures for women, doesn't mention it either . Another informative comment here does. The story would have been more balanced with the information.
12
I made a decision in my 20s that I did not want children, and I would find a like thinker. So I had a vasectomy at 24, and I’ve never regretted it.
16
More positive information about how vasectomy has improved the lives of those who have experienced it would be helpful. Articles and comments about the alleged selfishness of men, etc. has a negative rather than positive effect.
4
The current NS (non-scalpel) technique was pioneered in Sichuan China several decades ago. Last year, while living in Chengdu, the capital of Sichuan, I went to the premier public hospital to get a vasectomy. I was told by the top urologist that the surgery was no longer performed in China at public hospitals. When I asked why, he used a term that roughly translates to 'against nature'. I suspect however, that China's precipitous drop in births has motivated the government's decision to end what was once a common procedure.
My future paternity concerns were solved by a flight to Bangkok.
3
Because of how I am, there are a few things that people don’t want me doing; piloting a plane and riding a motorcycle are two, so I don’t do either. A third is rearing children. I had my vasectomy in my twenties, forty years ago. We are all better off that I did.
15
Elective surgery is a personal and private decision. I find this article and many of the comments to be in extremely poor taste and lacking any sort of humanistic perspective.
Do people really believe that they know what is best for all men? Do people really believe that there is much overlap between men who are potentially considering a vasectomy and men who impregnate females that ultimately make a legally protected choice to have an abortion?
I am shocked by the tone of the vast majority of these comments and the utter disregard for the innate drive to procreate, among other essential and critical human attributes.
2
The most important sentence in this piece is "men depend on women to manage birth control. To me this has always explained why we never developed a male birth control pill. Also with an exploding population and shrinking of resources, vasectomies would seem to be a no brainer after a couple of children.
11
Had a vasectomy in ‘98, on my birthday as a present to her/us,after my wife became pregnant with our third child..... and every other word out of her mouth was ‘vasectomy’. It was no big deal, and would have been totally pain free if I hadn’t decided to go for an extended ride on my Harley the next day-something I would not recommend.
8
Most masculine thing I’ve ever done. Simple procedure that required two days off work. Zero problems in over ten years and no regrets.
17
Dr Sherman Silber invented the reverse vasectomy and now vasectomies can be performed in a manner that enables a more easy reversal process with high success. There is also the fear of lifelong severe pain post vasectomy. Finally, the women's lobby and bias ensures that ACA pays in full for many birth control and sterilization procedures.
3
I am 48 years old and I have never wanted kids. I had been thinking about getting a vasectomy most of my adult life but I only finally decided to go ahead and have one nine years ago. This was the biggest mistake of my life. I am i’m among the roughly 10% of men who suffer from chronic post vasectomy pain syndrome. Sex, exercise, and even the simple acts of bending over to pick something up or to sit on a chair have become exercises in pain management. I have to wear pants that are five sizes larger than my size and I can only sit on a hard surfaces. There is not enough space here to list all the things that I have tried, from anti-inflammatories to acupuncture, finally culminating is a vasectomy reversal, which made the problem worse. While any urologist can perform this simple procedure, very few have any clue as to what to do in case of chronic pain. I am lucky to live in Atlanta where there is such a specialist, but even he has been unable to help me alleviate the pain significantly. This problem affects me every day and has severely impacted my quality-of-life. There is not enough emphasis on the risk of the procedure and on the fact that when you experience chronic pain afterwards pretty much nothing can be done. Let me close by saying that I have no political, anti-medical or religious agenda; I am a left-wing, atheist, pro-choice scientist and I support all forms of birth control.
8
I had mine done 4 months after our second daughter. My wife had already undergone two C sections and I had just found out the cost for private school in Atlanta. My mates all thought I was insane. Some people asked if I didn't want to keep going for a boy or what if I got divorced and the second wife wanted children. No thanks. I have made my contribution to the Gene pool. Plus I know for a fact that there will never be a second wife. One wife has and will always be enough.
17
A vasectomy is the most effective action in defense of planetary health that a man can take, as long as he does it before having any children.
We're headed towards 8 billion human beings, while habitats for all other creatures continue to disappear.
Do yourself and everybody else a favor and get the cut.
I'm 55 years old, had a vasectomy 29 years ago, and have never regretted it for one second.
13
This article didn’t mention an important point: there are no non-permanent birth-control methods for men. I don’t think a vasectomy has anything to do with how masculine that I am, but making a choice to choose something I can’t un-choose later is daunting
5
Another key factor. There is one solitary outlier of a study (from nearly 20 years ago) that associated (not correlated) vasectomy with cancer. Pure balderdash. But I image it scares off some individuals.
1
This article doesn’t talk about the complications that can happen from a vasectomy. I had a vasectomy 8 days ago and ever since, I’ve been experiencing a lot of swelling and pain. My urologist says it is Epididymitis, which is fairly common after a vasectomy. So now I’m on a regimen of antibiotics and my stomach is churning in pain from those (I normally avoid antibiotics like the plague but when you are faced with an infection down there it is pretty serious). The wound from the vasectomy is also still bleeding. Would I recommend a vasectomy to a friend? No way. I really wish I knew about the potential side affects of this procedure!
1
Easy peasy. When women get their tubes tied they take control of their reproduction. When men get vasectomies, they surrender their reproductive abilities. The reproductive burden of women is completely different from men. The heavy burden that women bear must be balanced with the greatest possible control over their choice to reproduce or to not reproduce. I would further extend that to the right to adequate pre and post natal care including child care and early educational support for infants and toddlers. The investment in mothers and infants will pay back ten times over. It's money well spent. If we ever figure out the huge benefits to enabling equality for women then America will truly be Great Again.
5
Why fewer vasectomies? Because many more men are not sexually active. Studies have shown men are having much less sex than previous decades. Depersonalizing technologies, medications, and lower testosterone levels may be causative. This includes married men. So no vasectomy needed.
2
I remember the precise day I got the vasectomy nearly 39 years ago. I got ridiculed because the recovery was not comfortable. The doctor thought it did not work because I had a sperm count for quite a while afterward. We had three bright, healthy children. Initially, I. thought it would improve our relationship; it did not. My ex had serious psychological problems that led her finally to seek counseling. That was enough. I do not regret it.
Happy to have done it. Way easier than advertised. Happy unaffected life now - if anything, more “special time” than before. Snip snip for the win.
4
As this article acknowledges tubal ligation reduces the lifetime risk of ovarian cancer (by at least 30 per cent) however no mention is made of the possible increased risk of prostate cancer post vascectomy.
1
When I was in Family Practice residency, we had a lecture by a urologist who encouraged us to learn to do vasectomies. One good reason, he told us, was that "Men who have vasectomies are the nicest guys."
7
It’s telling that so many men are unwilling to spare their wives or partners from having a more serious surgical procedure in order to preserve some strange sense of “manhood.” Back in the mid-seventies after fathering four children, my tough Marine father had my mother cancel her appointment for a tubal ligation and opted to have a vasectomy instead. His reasoning was sound: she’d already gone through the pain and emotional strain of three-years worth of pregnancy, four births and all the physical burdens associated with bearing children, so why should she suffer yet more pain? He’d had only the “fun part” of creating the children, so the least he could do is experience a small amount of temporary discomfort. If folks want more children later on, why not adopt? Seriously, if fertility is the mark of masculinity (or femininity), what should we make of the creatures that produce large liters of offspring — are these animals more masculine or feminine than humans? And is a man whose infertile less of a man? From this woman’s point of view, there is nothing more “manly” than being responsible and having a vasectomy.
15
I would like to see more men take responsibility for birth control and raising children.
I have too many friends whose husband or boyfriend (often now ex's), glad-fully took the 15 minutes to father children but then help with chid care or pay child support, and reneged on paying their half of college tuition.
If you don't want the responsibility of raising and paying for the care of children. Certainly, take the snip.
7
Why did they even ask this question? Men just do not like the idea of someone fooling with their equipment. They are scared.
4
Really simple, men don't get pregnant. When a woman has her tubes tied she is liberated... not merely from taking birth control pills or using other forms of contraception, but from any fear of unwanted pregnancy (whether within her marriage or outside it!)
3
If I could get another vasectomy I would. It’s an solutely painless two minute procedure for a lifetime of peace of mind. Two days of doctor prescribed taking it easy on the couch watching movies and reading wasn’t bad either.
5
A good friend of mine would have been an excellent mother. Alas, he husband had had a vasectomy twenty years ago. She has been a very good step-mother, but the world has been denied children of her own.
RIck makes it clear that here there is a major difference between sterilization of men and women.
3
Christina...our bodies, ourselves. Hope that helps.
3
I noticed several comments from men opining on the fact that men can father children until they die. Maybe that is true, but just because you can become a father at 50, 60, 70, or 80 doesn't make it good idea.
16
"Looking ahead 20 years, will he and his wife still be married? Will she even be alive? 'Maybe I meet a younger woman or something like that and she wants to have kids, and then I can’t give that to her,' ” Mr. Lopez said.
Mr. Lopez sounds like a real romantic.
19
In the days after my husband's vasectomy, he laid in bed with a little bell which he would use to summon me for snacks. It was the least I could do...
5
I’d say generally men are wimpy when it comes to vasectomies. It first I thought lazy, but wimpy is the more accurate description.
5
“Studies have shown that men who receive vasectomies in the United States are typically white, non-Hispanic and live in the North Central and Western regions of the country. They also tend to have private insurance.”
And, if may add, these are typically self-confident, intelligent men (as are men elsewhere who take the decision).
6
I am 69 years old now and have had have had health challenges all of my life. My ex husband and I had 2 children, and by our late thirties had decided that we couldn't handle any more. My doctor told me that he should be the one to have a vasectomy as he was robustly healthy and I had already had multiple surgeries. The coward refused, actually telling me that if I should die he could remarry a younger woman and have more children. Ugh! I decided to have my tubes tied anyway, (fortunately with no negative consequences) and eventually when the kids got older and I could stand on my own 2 feet, I divorced him. So glad that I got rid of this pathetic wus, and I am now remarried to a wonderful, kind, loving man.
20
My late, great husband described his vasectomy as his “surgical enhancement”.
11
Umm, this is a no brainer, men can't get pregnant and don't suffer the side effects of birth control pills.
1
There's a vasectomy season? Who knew?
3
It's just that I am reluctant to have any Black & Decker products near my nether regions, even though the latter have never been, and are not intended to be, used to impregnate anyone.
Geez. Even after a vasectomy, men can have it reversed or have their sperm harvested. It's not the end of fertility. A man who wants his partner to undergo a more dangerous and invasive procedure so he gets to feel like a "real man" is not much of a man in my eyes.
13
Got to love the illustration you used for this article!
1
Men don't get pregnant. That's why.
4
Imagine a man expecting you to take hormones for decades or go through a far more invasive procedure just because he's insecure about his masculinity...no thank you.
14
How are you supposed to start a second family with a new partner at age 60 if you've been snipped?
6
There is a non-trivial risk of long-term pain from ruptured testicles and epididymis and granulomas in men who have been vasectomized, in turn requiring further surgical intervention up to surgical castration and a lifetime of hormone-replacement therapy.
From Wikipedia:
“Backpressure from blockage of the vas deferens causes a rupture in the epididymis, called an "epididymal blowout", in 50% of vasectomy patients.”
50%.
Post-vasectomy pain syndrome is real and very difficult to treat.
Why don’t articles address this significant risk?
2
So I guess we’ll contnue to breed ourselves into extinction. The collapse of the natural world—with its variety of glorious life and some human excellence—can’t be allowed up interfere with, among so much other garbage, trophy wives and drooling dads.
6
A friend of mine begged her husband to get a vasectomy... he did, and afterwards she confided to me that since the procedure she hasn't found him sexually attractive due to his infertility.
1
Whether a man or woman takes the serious decision to have a reproductive procedure is their own private decision and no one else’s but possibly their spouse or partner. It certainly is absolutely no business of Ms Caron’s or any of the NYT comment peanut gallery. New York Times keep your self righteous mitts out of our private lives!
4
Studies have shown that as man age, their sperm do not produce healthy offspring. Us guys have our own limitations, too.
7
My. dad had. an idea for what he called bypass sterilization. A guy would get shutoff valves installed.
1
After my spouse's second pregnancy I got a vasectomy. It was cheaper, safer that tubal ligation and I did not like the idea of my wife being sliced open to prevent something I could prevent with a 20 minute walk-in procedure.
But this "men versus women" approach to a steriilty discussion shown here is completely removed from reality. Such an approach is brought on less because of valid steriltiy options and more because of an ideological "rah-rah for those with a vagina vs evil, selfish men" approach.
Women generally have tubal ligations because they are either considerate of their husband (or only partner) but more so because of their intelligence.
A man with a vasectomy knows he is safe with all female sex partners. If, as the author implies, men should carry the major burden of sterility a woman who is counting on the man for protection from pregnancy, can not be assured of that source protection from pregnancy. But a woman who has the operation is assured of that protection.
Men never get pregnant, women do and smart women think of this Sure everybody should be responsible but until we live in a perfect world (which by the way we do not) women are too smart to buy into this feminist approach to avoiding pregnancy.
I'm sorry woman are smarter than the author of this piece but there's a difference between reality and ideology. Like so many approach's by 21st century feminist this score keeping and not solving anybody's problem.
4
Many years ago, one of my veterinary clients was interested in neutering his dog, but only if I replaced his dog’s testicles with prosthetic implants. (This is a real thing—the product, called Neuticles, comes in several different models, with the deluxe version offering “incredibly soft...natural and lifelike firmness.”) My client wanted the implants because he was concerned that his dog would suffer emotional harm due to the loss of his testicles.
This posed an ethical dilemma for me, as neutering confers major health and behavioral benefits, but elective surgical implantation of a foreign object is an unnecessary health risk. I ended up telling him that he should only do the implants if there was no other way for him to feel OK about neutering his dog. He ended up deciding to do the surgery without them, but it was a very difficult decision for him.
I learned something from that client about how some men think about themselves and their masculinity. If some men can’t even bear to think of their dogs being neutered, it’s probably impossible for them to consider making a similar sacrifice for their partners. The trouble is that women are always the ones left holding the bag.
8
When a 35 year old woman gets her tubes ties, she’s eliminating 5 to 10 years of fertility. When a 35 year old man gets a vasectomy, he’s shaving 50 years off his fertility. It’s much easier to look 5 years into the future than 50. A lot can happen in 50 years, including divorce, remarriage, even death of spouse or children. Men sacrifice many more years of fertility and options by having a vasectomy.
21
By your math you deserve the option to be a divorced/widowed new dad at 85 with a max 45 year old woman? Hope you fully support all those kids (and ex partners) in your next 50 years of “virility”
11
@Rick
Seriously dude? I have a 53 year old co-worker whose 26 year old girlfriend, that’s right- girlfriend, not second wife, just had his baby. He’s so bummed, and we laugh at him all the time.
It never ceases to amaze me that a guy would think that having a baby after he is 40 is going to be fun. See ya on the golf course- oops, sorry, have fun at the second grade play!
Ha ha!
17
@Rick
a 35 year old man sacrifying 50 years of fertility - do you have any thoughts for the child that may have this old guy as a father? Get real, it is not only the adult male and his egoism that matter.
14
My wife and I made the decision to not have kids this year. After many open conversations about the potential of being parents, we decided that life was not for us.
In January, I had the procedure and since have been cleared it was a success. The procedure was simple, with only about 1-2 weeks of taking-it-easy before being back-to-normal.
I'm very happy it was me and not her, as the procedure is much less invasive and the risk of complications is almost zero. And, let me assure any male readers, it does not take away from being a "man".
96
Good for you! I think “manliness” has more to do with taking responsibility for your reproductive decisions and not expecting the woman to bear all the weight of birth control — especially since if birth control fails, she will also be the one to bear the children. My father made the same decision you did to spare my mother surgery, and I can’t imagine anyone considering him — a 6’2” Marine — to be less masculine than anyone else...
25
That's odd. I know more men who have vasectomies than I do women who are sterilized. At least three different generations too. The only women I know who have been "sterilized" had the procedure due to cancer screening or some other health related risk. I've never met a woman I'm aware of who had her tubes tied as a form of birth control. It seems odd to me the data doesn't bare this out.
Of course, we should probably wonder why there are n-teen different versions of female birth control but no pharmaceutical company bothered developing a male equivalent. When you hear "male prescription birth control," you think of Alan Turing. Not exactly a positive association.
Condoms are a pain. So is reversing a vasectomy. Why haven't medical practitioners developed something in between? I imagine many men would be receptive to the idea. It simply doesn't exist. Why not?
13
@Andy
I recall reading about male birth control in 1970's. It failed because the men could not be bothered with taking daily pill.
My husband, at the time, told me "No! Only a man can get a woman pregnant so no!"
At the time I thought, and still think so today, sex for man is all about changing someone else's live but not his own.
3
There was a trial for a male contraceptive pill or injection that was terminated I believe because the study subjects couldn’t tolerate the side effects.
@Andy there are some serious side effects to oral contraceptives- ranging from mood swings to increased risk of stroke. Sadly, women have endured these for decades. Every time a male birth control pill is being tested, the decision is that the side effects and risks are too great - (for men! ) You will find a lot if you google, but here’s an example from the Atlantic - the different stakes of male and female birth control: https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theatlantic.com/amp/article/506120/
5
I’m not sure about the cost figures cited here. My husband and I plan on him getting a vasectomy once we are done having kids, but there is the looming cost of no insurance coverage and an out of pocket price of $5,000. And from talking to friends across the country, (apologies for the anecdotal evidence), this was their experience as well.
3
@Steph $5,000 out of pocket is a whole heck of a lot less expensive than the 18-22 years of child related expenses that might result otherwise.
2
Insurance almost always covers vasectomy. Much cheaper than pregnancy and birth.
Even out of pocket it is less than decades of other birth control
1
@Steph I would have to check my receipt for the exact number, but I believe mine was right around the $1000 mentioned in the article out of pocket without insurance or other assistance. I had it done at a Planned Parenthood nearby, so if there's one near you, it might be worth reaching out to them for an estimate. Hope you are able to find something that works out for you and your husband. :)
I take no position on vasectomies. At age 67, my spouse of 40 years and I are very happy, and unlike Doug Wilder, I’m not interested in 20-somethings. But what mystifies me is the imbalance in the options for contraception. Modern science has come up with many ways for women to keep from getting pregnant, but for men it’s either a condom or abstinence. Surely there must be some clever biotechnicians out there who could bring more balance.
21
@Ockham9
There have beenattempts to make a male contraceptive pill/shot, but the method has to reduce sperm counts by 99.9999% AND be totally reversible within 1-3 months AND be free of nasty side effects ( mostly). Still working on it.
here is an old article from NYT on this:
https://www.nytimes.com/2011/07/24/health/research/24contraception.html
No, you can get a vasectomy, but if not, condoms properly used, work.
One issue that was overlooked in the article: men are potentially fertile until the day they die, making it far more difficult to plan that far ahead. A 40-year-old woman planning sterilization knows she would be infertile within 10 years anyway; a man of the same age has to bet that he won't want a child for the next 40 years.
In other words: "Who knows, maybe I'll divorce you when I'm 60 and remarry a young woman who wants a child." Not something that a spouse will ever confess, but I am sure that it is part of the equation.
13
@Girard
Study stats on old sperm and defects.
3
@Girard "Potentially fertile" is the key term here. The reality is the viability and motility of sperm drops rapidly after age 35.
And I'm pretty sure babies do better without 80-year-old fathers.
2
@Girard. I suppose there must be some — I know a few men my age who have young children — but at 67, the last thing in the world I want is (a) losing many nights’ sleep, (b) changing diapers, (c) parent-teacher conferences, back-to-back sports competitions and the rest of juvenile school activities, and (d) being on the hook for $300k worth of college costs. Already did that. Now I get to see my lovely grandchildren, but at the end of the day, they go back to their parents.
3
It is not hard. It removes a worry, and is easier for my wife. Of course I did it.
Maybe the March timing concentration will shift as the next generation of men are ready to do this - they probably have heard of things like Netflix as an alternative to watching basketball.
26
I had my tubes tied after my second child. It was simple because I had a c-section and it was done right then and there. I, personally, was done with having children. So I made sure. No regrets.
12
When considering a vasectomy, men (and women who live with them) should be aware of the very real risk of post-vasectomy pain syndrome. This is a real phenomenon that is not heavily studied but impacts a minimum of 5% of all men getting vasectomies (and may be as many as 30%). Statistics are not great because men are taught to just "tough it out" on anything, regardless of long-term health impact. So while the majority of men are reportedly fine after a few days and frozen peas "on the boys," a significant minority can have long-lasting impact (unless they can afford a vasectomy reversal).
Insurance covers the cost of a vasectomy but does not cover the cost of vasectomy reversal. Thousands of dollars more.
Can totally understand women not wanting to be on pill long term but vasectomy is not worth it. You are permanently changing the body in a way that nature did not design. Just use old-fashioned protection.
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@GRH
Hmmm, you claim it’s not “heavily studied”, then, with 100% certainty you state a minimum of five percent of ALL vasectomies lead to pain syndrome.
Me thinks you are bluffing to boost condom sales.
I say, get a vasectomy and have glorious fear free sex for a lifetime!
1
@GRH And I supposed birth control pills, pregnancy, and childbirth don't bring pain and a permanent change to women's bodies?
Guys, step up to your responsibilities too.
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@GRH
All surgical procedures have risks, but my wife is allergic to latex. It was a no-brained for me and one of the best decisions I’ve made.
1
Guys... find a doc who specializes in vasectomies. It's way easier than most dental or other medical procedures like the silver snake. My insurance covered it completely. The post op part was not bad, a good excuse to binge watch something you like. 40 years later everything still works just fine. Hope that lays a few concerns to rest.
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The information you have about tubal ligation and ectopic pregnancy is misleading. Just like with IUDs, tubal ligation decreases the incidence of ectopic pregnancy by the mere fact that failure (and therefore pregnancy) rates are so low. However, if either form of contraception does fail, the percentage of those pregnancies that are ectopic are higher.
I am an OB/GYN with UT Physicians in Houston
25
MD to MD, pretty sure risk of ectopic pregnancy is still the lowest when the male gets a vasectomy.
6
I felt that it was a very masculine thing to have a vasectomy. I was taking care of my family financially and being a full partner in my wife’s reproductive choices.
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I was so desperate to find at least one male commenter who was not mansplaining why a woman should have abdominal surgery in order to ensure that the father of her children would still be fertile after he found another woman he liked better.
And here you are! Three cheers for you, Dave!
18
I got one. It was the least I could do after my wife carried four babies to term.
132
We have 2 kids and have discussed birth control options. My husband is extremely hesitant about vasectomies, mostly because he thinks it will take away from his masculinity. I act calm, but it actually ENRAGES me that he doesn't want to get one. I am the one that has had my body messed with for years, whether it be through BC, pregnancy, birth and breastfeeding. I feel like I have done 99.5% of the work in preventing/creating our family and he has done the bare minimum. And now he wants to balk when he can take the load? UGH.
We need to talk about men taking responsibility more - it is ingrained that preventing pregnancy is a women's job, especially in established relationships - so why should it change now? Vasectomies should be offered to every man at every doctors visit. Society needs to applaud men who do it and speak out about its benefits.
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This is very hypocritical. You complain about the work you supposedly do which you understandably say is unfair if true but then suggest that your husband do the same thing that you protest against.
3
He thinks it will take away his masculinity? How about he does a bit of research and get some facts
8
@Anne tell your husband the truth. Stop “acting calm”. That much resentment is not healthy. I would be hurt if my wife “acted calm” about an issue to my face but then vented to strangers.
10
Oh no, to get snipped, men have to make 2-3 doctor's visits over the course of 6 months!
I have two friends, both 38 year old women, child free by choice, who spent 15+ YEARS trying to find doctors who would grant them hysterectomies due to horrific endometriosis. Because they might change their minds about not having kids (they both would have preferred to not require transfusions for excessive bleeding, or have their bowels perforated with endometrial tissue).
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@Griffin
Getting a post “we have all the children we want” tubal ligation was difficult into the mid 1980s (at least) because many church funded hospitals would not allow voluntary sterilization surgical procedures. I have nothing but admiration for the many Sisters who helped open up the midwestern frontiers with their schools and hospitals in prairie towns. But this often meant their hospital policies limited safe access for women and their families, causing women to travel many towns away. Or having more children.
1
At my local Planned Parenthood, they work with two well-known providers who travel the state performing this minimally invasive procedure. Groundwork is laid ahead of time with website questionaires that challenge especially the young and/or childless men to confirm their decision. Vasectomies take 10 minutes and a partner is often present. Those who choose not to be present are often in the waiting room with two or three children, smiling the quiet smile of being spared difficult childbirth or distressing side effects of contraception
28
And here all this time I thought Planned Parenthood was only about abortions (not really) I always knew that Planned Parenthood, was about just that planning to be a parent, abortions are just one of the functions, and a last resort. I would hope that neither women, or Planned Parenthood, would use abortion as a means of birth control. But, I believe in the rights of women, they must make the decision to abort, then live with it. Men, cannot understand the emotions that must run through a woman’s mind, when she’s made that decision, women, naturally don’t want to abort, they are nurturers by nature. Thus, Planned Parenthood, is a needed in our society, so that young people will hopefully not be faced with a truly life changing decision, to abort a child. It’s got to be like a ten ton boulder that is carried for life, regardless of the reason for the abortion.
1
I'm getting snipped next month. My partner (49 and she already has a 27 year old daughter) and I (54 years old no kids, really never wanted any) made that decision recently. She can't handle most forms of birth control and condoms are pain. I'm looking forward to it and so is she.
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There comes a time in a man's life when he needs to go to the vet. You'll be glad you did.
Don't do it because of commenters' man bashing. Do it because, at a certain stage of life, it is a good idea. For you and for her.
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I got mine. Easy in-office procedure. No more birth control. Everyone wins!
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So exactly what we already knew and saw earlier in the year with the Gillette commercial: that the men who scream the loudest about what "manhood" is supposed to be are really the most insecure about their own.
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I used to know a commercial fisherman, really over the top masculine, but he was always saying that every guy that looked at him, was either gay and wanted him, or thought he was gay and and still wanted him. He would berate gays, then one day he got caught, in bed with, you guessed it, another guy.
When I asked him about it, he said that he didn’t want anyone to know he was gay, because he wasn’t sure himself, so the easy way to deflect anyone thinking he was gay, to his way of thinking was to say, every guy that he ever interacted with is gay, that he wasn’t. I told him, if you’re secure in your own manhood, gay or not, then it doesn’t matter what someone else might say or think.
1
Mr. Lopez as quoted in the article seems badly educated and not very nice. What if his wife dies? What if he meets a younger woman? Wow. Also, someone should inform Mr. Lopez that if his wife does die, leaving him available to impregnate a younger woman, he can get his vasectomy reversed!
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@AE And, of course, no woman would ever find a man who cannot produce sperm desirable, right?
2
@AE
Right, and someone should inform Mr Lopez that what is attractive to younger women about older men is the length (and girth) of their portfolios...perhaps he should be investing....
6
@AE. Agreed. I felt sad for his wife and kids when I read that. No one really knows what goes on in a marriage/relationship, but based upon what Mr. Lopez is quoted to have said for this article, he is not considerate and pretty ignorant. Sad.
7
Another plus is that vasectomy prevents abortion.
118
What a no-brainer. Men in this culture and most cultures want to control women while making sure that they personally can do anything they want. Despicable. (and yes, I had a vasectomy)
135
Feminine birth control is designed to make sure women are ALWAYS available to serve men’s desires. Being pregnant, nursing and raising children take a woman out of her husband’s sexual orbit. A side consequence is that birth control gives women sexual freedom to choose multiple partners, which I am certain was not entirely foreseen by the male inventors of most contraceptives. I have two children and had my tubes tied after an unintended pregnancy, due to a broken condom, was followed by an abortion. No regrets for either procedure. My husband never seriously considered a vasectomy.
1
Agree that the question needs no response as the answer is self-evident. My husband never went back for the sperm check after. The old fat guys pile in for their Viagra prescriptions, though.
32
The same issues are always at play here:
- Women are expected to be the ones who 'deal with' birth control, whether it's by ingesting hormones, getting devices implanted, or getting sterilized. Condoms and vasectomies are 'nuisances' that many men can't be bothered with.
- Childless men are now surveyed as wanting children more than childless women, so are less likely to want to eliminate the possibility of their having them.
12
“I’m just really unimpressed with some of the men I meet.”
Understatement of the century.
A man refusing to get a vasectomy in case his wife dies or they divorce and he finds a younger woman is a salient reminder of how some men can be truly terrible. That anyone would give air to that thought, much less publicize it in the New York Times, speaks to the entitlement of men and inequity between genders.
221
Of course it seems terrible to think this way (very dark to plan for breakup or death) but if you read carefully they both won’t alter themselves and are perfectly happy with this decision.
2
Yet more evidence, if such were needed, that masculinity is overrated.
19
It's interesting to juxtapose this article with the article on conservative states restricting abortion, also from today. Wouldn't it make more sense for all the anti-choice activists in those states to just push for more male vasectomies to ensure fewer unplanned pregnancies? Oh, wait, is that somehow interfering with bodily autonomy?
146
@Theodore Yup, no interference allowed with bodily or any other autonomy, except women's bodily autonomy, which is fair game.
35
Seriously, I wish men could get pregnant. I love how so many feel birth control is only a woman's issue and responsibility. It takes two, you know.
57
Having gone through this discussion with my partner, I would say that American men are less informed and more fragile...and happily so!
20
I had a vasectomy a few years back. My now wife was very certain she did not want to have children biologically and I didn't really care to either. I try to be open about having had a vasectomy whenever related topics come up, and it's always interesting to me to see how many other men will chime in about their own procedure when someone else brings it up first.
Both of our families have plenty of mental and physical health issues and neither of us feel a strong desire to pass those traits on to another generation, and I can definitely understand my wife not wanting to deal with the pregnancy and birth itself.
I'm strongly of the opinion that if we do decide we want to raise a child or two, that there are plenty of kids who need fostering or adopting long before more need conceiving.
114
Wonder if there an inverse relationship between a male who clings to male specific attributes (those assigned by the culture) and the number of vesactomies? Cold War politics
1
@Suji44
Not entirely on topic, but I wonder how the percentage of NRA members with vasectomies compares with the general population. Would be an interesting study to see if the “manhood” thing comes into play for both. I have a hypothesis...
1
There are many documented cases when women want to have a tubal ligation, if they do not already have children, they have a difficult time finding a physician who will perform the surgery.
There are so many men out there who want to control a woman's choice regarding reproduction, but will take no responsibility themselves.
70
We were told my wife, if she got pregnant, would likely die. She already had multiple cancers and surgeries. Her experience with hormone drugs didn't end well either. Thus, an ooforectamy or birth control pills wouldn't be an option.
That left us using condoms, which aren't 100% and quite frankly, as you get older, become more of an issue to use.
Vasectomy was the best solution. Hurts for a day or two. Only required a consult and the operation. The test was mailed in. No more worries about pregnancy, or if a condom will break. Better sex, and more of it. One of the best decisions we've made.
109
Why is this phenomenon seen as a negative? I see it as women taking control of their own reproductive destinies.
9
@janeqpublicnyc
Good point. Also, since abortion rights are under such serious threat and the rate of women being sexually assaulted is not trivial, there is a lot to be said for taking control of one's own destiny as much as possible.
I knew I didn't want to have children and at age 27 (in 1972) I permanently ended my fertility and have never regretted it.
5
I got my vasectomy after my wife and I had twins.
I was already considering it when my mother joked that "next time you could have triplets!"
I drove straight to the urologist's office, handed him a pair of garden shears, and said, "Do it! Do it!"
He did it (without garden shears) and I was sore for a couple days, no complications.
Not having to worry about making more kids has made my life much better.
The reasons against vasectomies given by the men in this article (and in this story's Facebook comments) are just silly.
88
I wish this article had discussed the possible risk of autoimmune disorders linked to the procedure. Decades of dumping half sequences of your own DNA into your body has never been fully studied.
12
Then this article should also talk about further health risks involved in the female sterilization.
35
Your body metabolises the unused sperm after a vasectomy in the same way it does when you just don't have sex for a while. There's plenty of long term cases of people not having sex, and vasectomies have been around at large scale since the 1950s.
46
@MMR
This may not have been fully studied, but there is no evidence of any association between vasectomy and autoimmune disorders. Yes, anti-sperm antibodies are produced as a result of vasectomy, but no bodily harm has been shown to result from this production.
I am an OB/GYN who informs high school students on STI's and birth control in Health class. Here is how I explain it to them:
What procedure is most preferable:
One that I can do on a table ( pointing to the teacher's desk) under local anesthesia in 15 or so minutes, cannot hit vital structures ( necessary for life) with low complication risk, excellent efficacy, and a test of cure ( post-procedure semen analysis) for $1000.....
Or one that I have to do in a hospital ( more cost, at least to the system) under general anesthesia ( greater risk), CAN hit vital structures( bowel, blood vessels, etc.), low post-procedure complication risk ( ectopic pregnancy being possible but rare), excellent efficacy ( similar to vasectomy) but with a awkward and not always informative test of cure ( dye study of fallopian tubes or HSG) for more cost ( at least prior to 2013).
Bilateral salpingectomy at the time of sterilization procedure, with the benefit of lowering ovarian and fallopian tube cancer rates ( along with the lower cost to patients thanks to ACA), may swing the argument over to female sterilization....but vasectomy still has a place and is being underperformed ( IMHO).
23
Tomorrow is my one-year Vasectoversary! (Completely coincidental timing; I'm not that into college basketball.)
I'm 34-yo, white, two kids. Procedure almost completely covered by insurance. (I think I paid $200.) Got lazy on that final semen analysis, after the first one cleared me. So, I do say a tiny prayer once in a while that for-sure I'm clear.
Very happy with the decision and experience. I never had to deprogram myself from believing my masculinity hinges on an ability to procreate. (And great post-vas marital sex life.)
79
@Scott You give me hope for Texas.
18
Is the title of this column a serious question? We don't need the NYT to tell us the answer to THAT one!
11
If the opposite were the case--if tubal ligation were the far easier procedure compared to vasectomy--how many of the Chris Lopezes of the world would present ligation to their wives as a no-brainer?
These guys need to get over themselves (as well as their irrational fear of a safe, simple procedure).
86
At risk of being a male chauvinist pig (at 72, I don't care anymore,) do you think the difference in pregnancy rates between men and women could be part of the explanation?
31
So you’re saying men are more selfish and irresponsible when it comes to procreation? Yeah, that sounds about right.
61