Nowadays, friendships tend to be more volatile and fragile than ever because of the surge of technology in our lives. While I believe online "friends" can be true friends at some extent , I also believe true friedsips are founded by the amount of time people invest on spending time with one another. Online friends do not provide the emotional connection face-to-face communication does. When I hang out with friends, I feel much better about myself because there is this emotional intimacy among us. I consider myself one of those few teenagers who are averse to social media. Every time I use social media and chat with people who I have never met in real life, I feel emotionally empty and unsatisfied. Thefore, I always enjoy speding quality time with my family and hanging out with friends every now and then when they are available. I think many people from old generations notice my generation has been detrimentally impacted by technology. I know many teenagers who isolate themselves in their rooms, use social media immoderately, and are hostile to people in real life. They usually suffer from intense feelings of loneliness. Yet, when people try to help them to reintegrate in real social life, they are reluctant and often refuse accepting any help. I strongly believe true friendships are founded by reciprocal loyalty and are strengthened by shared life experiences.
Yes, I'm in a dormitory school so I am always with my friends.
You know, the more time you spend with your friends, the more friendly you will be with your friends, I think.
i have a lot of friends
I Think that you can be bestfriends with people online because technology has made it easier for us to communicate with other people. It is easier to make friends with people online because you are not actually talking to that person in front of them and you are typing on a keyboard and or calling them. The only problem would be seeing each other or hanging out with each other and it would also be easier to unfriend with someone because you can just block the person.
It is true that a face-to-face friendship is better but that does not mean that if a person has friends online they are unreal. I had a friend online a few years ago. We met on Facebook and she lived far from where I lived at that time, however we talked a lot, we both knew a lot about each other and did facetime or talked by the hour, but it is true that a friendship where face-to-face moments are shared they are always better than virtual friendships, those friendships are always stronger than those that are online. I think it's normal for a parent to worry if their child has friends or not but I do not think it's that much, I think it's a simple generational difference, there are people who feel more comfortable having virtual friends than friends who see them in person. Many relatives of mine think like Mr. Asthma. I think that virtual friendships are not bad, but you have to be very careful because sometimes it can be dangerous.
friends are when you have known them for a long time. when you spend time with them.
I think that online friends are never really true friends unless you have met them before. A friend is someone who is encouraging, trustworthy and there for you at all times. I think that what this generation is losing is face to face conversations. We need to set our electronics down every once in a while and really embrace in the true friendships we have. You will always remember the real life friendships when you grow older because of the memories and real face to face conversations. You have a better chance of losing online friendships. So friendships should be those who are real,true and loving
A friend to me is having someone there for you no matter what circumstance you are in. A friend should be trustworthy, fun to be around,positive influence, and someone you can rely on. Some people have trouble with envying someone's happiness. For example, if something really exciting and good happened to one of my best friends, I should be happy for her and not pull the jealousy card and be rude about it. I feel like a lot of set of friends struggle with that and those people are just not healthy to be around. I have actually had this happen to me. Last year when I tried out for the dance team at my school, one of my good friends did not make it and I did. I understand that she was very upset because anyone would be, but instead of moving on and being happy to those around her, she decided to tear me down through social media. I was posted about, called horrible names, and just was getting verbally bullied by her. It was as if I didn't even make it, and I couldn't even be happy for myself. That's when I realized that she was a toxic person in my life and I needed to be around happy, encouraging people. All you need is at least 1-2 GOOD friends in your life. If you have a 10 "friends" and they are not true friends, then it is like you do not have any. I encourage people all the time to surround themselves with good solid people because it makes you such a better person,makes you feel not alone. Because we live in such a dark world, feeling alone happens often to most people
A friend to me is somebody that's there for me and helps me with and through my problems. I have people in my life I've met on games and social media that I've never met them in real life and I consider them my friend. We talk almost every day and encourage one another to be the best version of ourselves we can be. I think it depends on where you meet this person online, whether it's on a game or social networking. I think I would have a much stronger friendship with this person if they lived where I lived and we got to spend time together physically, but she's still a friend to me. I do believe you can have bonds and friendships online.
The term “friend” is different for everyone. But to me "friends" are people you can trust and have a good time with. To most people it's easy to make a friend. You could make a friend anywhere. I’ve had online friends before, it’s pretty easy for it to happen, you find out you have similar interests and somehow you are friends. To me friends are a huge part of my life b/c without them life would be very boring and depressing. Now kids are growing up in a world where the internet is everywhere and most likely every single one of them will find a friend online at some point which is great and no parent should ever fear that.
I think everyone sees different things in a friend. Some of us start off with imaginary friends, then we connect with real people. Some people will rather connect with online friends because they might not feel accepted with their peers they have around them and online people make it more fun because they might love the games you love and yall both can have fun together while yall talk. I don't think it's wrong to have an online friend because I met someone on Snapchat (lol) and we actually met up in person because our bond was so big we had to see each other, then we started dating (1yr 11months now) I think online friends can be fun at times because they don't know you and that gives you a chance to talk about yourself and have a conversation you probably haven't had in years VS a person who has known you for the longest and yall just run out things to talk about then yall just stop talking, so online friends rule but see who your talking to at first
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When I was around seven years old my family moved from Canada to North Carolina. I have wondered a lot about satisfying friendships or as the article would describe "deep friendships". I have a lot of really good friends right now and I trust all of them but I don't have anyone who I can say I was friends with since I was a little kid or kindergarten that I have known all my life. Most of my current friends are from middle or high school.
I think that having to "clock time" with friends is very important but I also think that there are people you meet that you can instantly be best friends with. People that you just vibe with and get you. That is why I feel like online friends can be true friends. I play video games fairly often and while I only ever play with my real life friends I think that some people have friendships online that are just as deep and meaningful as any of the ones we make at school or work.
Loneliness is a very big problem that has partially been caused by the rise of social media. Loneliness has always existed though and social media platforms can be just as much a cure as the cause for concern. All friendships, no matter in what sense they are, are important to the people affected and I don't think it matters whether its online or in real life as long as the people involved are happy.
Everyone decides what the term “friend” means to them. You don’t need to have an extremely valuable relationship with someone to consider them your friend. I had a talk with a close friend of mine the other day about friends. He’s a very well known person and so i was telling him that there’s probably a lot of people out there that consider him their friend, but they are just people he considers acquaintances. I’ve had online friends before, it’s pretty easy for it to happen, you find out you have similar interests and somehow you are friends. Worrying about something as small as your child having an online friend he’s never met and probably will never meet is ridiculous. I know tons of people who have played with the same people on video game forums who they’ve never met but they consider each other friends. Post-internet kids will not be restricted to online friends only. You are forced to meet people in real life and communicate with them, and it doesn’t ever cross your mind you can friends. Physical human interactions will never end due to how structured our society is, where we grow up talking to people and becoming friends without wanting to.
I have never had or made a friend online. However, I can say that friendships made virtually are generally bound to be shallow. This is because of the lack of intimacy and loyalty required to maintain the online friendship. Mr. Asma has a right to be concerned that his post-internet child is not participating in the same kind of close friendships he had once formed. Bonding over funny memes, victories in games, or bonding through “likes” and heart-eye emojis on posts, should not be and is not what validates a friendship. True and lasting friendships are not those that have experienced an ideal and utopian encounter, but those that have endured heartbreak, remorse, and real-life human struggles. There is a reason why those who have the privilege of having a family hold such strong values and have such deep connections with their relatives. These siblings and parents know each other inside and out. They each know the other’s flaws, but they are willing to love them unconditionally. Families, marriages, and friendships are extremely difficult to manage, but those that last never face an easy journey.
One of the basic human needs is companionship. Humans require these small things being support, someone to talk to, and social interaction of some kind. Being that as it is, people don't like to sound vulnerable and admit to their inner weakness of being lonely. I believe that everyone needs a certain genre of friends, but those who value the quantity of friends over the quality, don’t truly value the people they classify as “friends”. In the new digital age there’s an extensive amount of opportunities to make, so called, new friends, but in reality to truly forge new friendships one must have shared experiences and interests that help bond them together. This doesn’t mean every person online that you meet is the “Scuzzball” in many ways the connection you make with people online can very much help strengthen in face-to-face relationships you already have. Altogether we as humans don’t like to ever really think of ourselves as weak, but when the time comes we all really need someone just to call a friend.
While Internet friendships can be just as genuine and uplifting as a "real" one, a mixture of both is the most healthy option for a teenager, provided their Internet friends aren't creeps. The friends I see everyday at school and sleepovers lift me up with their smiles and jokes. We give each other candy, we help each other with homework, we joke about our flaws and talk about our insecurities. It's true many of these are important experiences online friends can't share.
But when I look around and listen to the digital relationships my friends talk about online, I hear something that provides benefits that physical friendships don't. An online friend can't spread gossip at your school, because they don't go to your school. An online friend can't use prejudice against you, because they don't know what you look like unless you tell them. It's true many online friendships are shallow, but when two emotionally mature teens meet online, something beautiful blooms.
Teens DO sacrifice for their friends, digital or otherwise. I see it in the way one friend excuses herself to help her British Snapchat friend through a panic attack, in the way another invites his Canadian friend into a chat with his real friends. I see it in the way two people can meet and fall in love online --not just teenagers.
The quality of a friendship, in the end, depends not through the medium in which it is expressed, but rather on the people themselves.
Friendship, is very important and it runs as a big part in our life because we make friends with strangers. In my experience, i never had friends like that because i used to be shy. I choose to be around with people who want to be successful in life. How you keep friendships is by communicating with them and keep in touch with them, always be there for them when they need help . I am the type of person that has just a few really close friends.
No, most of my friends aren't like me. So i'm trying to drop a couple of friends before they affect my performance in school. But it's hard to drop friends that have been with you since middle school and they took a turn for the worst and I didnt. And real friendships are hard to come by.
I spent the majority of my middle school years with most of my friends online, one of whom I even got to meet 'irl'. To this day, I have friends who live in my city that I have only ever talked to online, and friend's online friends that I chat with. These interactions have always felt genuine, and they are one of the beautiful things about living in an age where anyone in the world can contact you at any time. It allowed me to talk to people with a vast range of experiences, and provided me with at least some degree of human interaction when I didn't have many close friends in real life.
But while those relationships were and are very important to me, now that I am lucky enough to have an array of real life friends who I see often and consider close, I realize that there really is no substitute for the real thing. Life in the real world is fast paced, and the people around you see your screw ups and hear you speak in real time, see your body movements and posture and everything else that makes up your authentic self. No matter how much we say we don't, everyone's online presence is manicured and put together to portray a certain image of ourselves, at least to some degree. It's harder to find real authenticity in that hand picked image than it is face to face.
Having friends who I am close with is very important to me. I live my family, but they aren’t always the people I want to talk to and spend all of my time with. My friends are who I go to first for advice and when I’m in need of comfort.
To me having a friend online isn’t the same with a face-to-face friend you see everyday. Being a on a sports team, joining a club or a youth group, are better ways of making real friendships that will last much longer than virtual relationships. Like it says in the article, “The kind of presence required for deep friendship does not seem cultivated in many online interactions”.
I also believe that the lack of interaction can be detrimental to someone’s social skills. Being in person to talk to someone takes more courage and is more beneficial to the person, than if they just talked to someone online. The article also states, “Real bonding is more biological than psychological and requires physical contact.” In reviewing this information this only strengthens my point more.
I one hundred percent believe real friendships can be founded online. I found a random person my age online about three years ago and I still talk to him. I also think doing things online with friends can be a good bonding experience if the people doing are invested in what it is. Maybe it's making music or playing a game or making art. The online world is for everyone so if there's something your interested you'll find people with similar interest.
@Patrick Temple I agree with you. I also met a person online in a video game and He was around where i was from he seemed like a chill dude and he liked the sport i liked . Therefore, we hung out by playing basketball . Furthermore, our friendship escalated and now we are somewhat close friends . I believe you can meet really good people online .
I don’t have social media and I’m sort of introverted so it’ll be very rare for me to make an online friend. Furthermore, I wouldn't want one either and I don’t think they’re honest/truthful. Just like how online relationships can be unhealthy, making online friend can be the same. I believe the most healthiest friends are made from a hand on hand experience.
You’ll be able to determine what kind of personality this person has by making “fully realized friends.” While online you guys are just chatting through an electronic device, your emotions can hardly be shown. Also, online friends wouldn’t be there for you when you need them, especially during school. Let's suppose you don’t have any friends in school and you get bullied, no one would be able to stand up for you. The most your online friend can do is to comfort you.
I personally don't believe real friendships can be created online, but I do believe it can help strengthen them or even keep them alive. I have friends that I still talk to that live in other countries thanks to social media. My friendship with one of them specifically has gotten stronger ever since I moved, and the last time we saw each other in person was three years ago. Through text messages and calls, we’ve found out we have a lot more in common than we thought and we’re able to share different experiences and how we feel about different things. However, we’ve met in person before, we’ve shared experiences together and we know each other’s personality. There are certain things you simply can’t learn about a person online. When you talk to an online friend, you can’t surely tell their emotions or their facial expressions, or even their personality.
In our day and age, many teenagers create friendships through social media or gaming. I think friendships can be made through technology because of similar interests but I do not believe these bonds could be as strong as bonds in person.
Having deep friendships is an important part of my day. I find comfort in my close peers after a tough day and my friends tend to cheer me up by lively interaction which is face to face. I think being in person creates a deeper bond by being able to sense emotions and are able to physically respond to them.
I have nothing against gaming or social media relationships yet I do not believe they can create the deepest bonds of a friendship.
I believe that friends made online can certainly qualify as true friends. I believe this because I also believe that the criteria for friendship is not necessarily affected by the environment in which that friendship is made.
My criteria for friendship is that the friendship be based on mutual trust. This is where online interface begins to suffer a bit, however. Mutual trust is already hard to achieve in real life. When you add the layer of anonymity that most online platforms come with, as well as the caution that most people approach online interaction with, it becomes much more difficult. Therefore, while most online friends can qualify as true friends, they often don’t due to the Internet’s nature as a whole.
As a result, people separate their online “friends” from their “real” friends. This serves to keep the “friend” at a certain distance that acts as a safeguard for unforeseen circumstances. After all, the Internet is not necessarily trust-conducive, and people can easily say that they are who they aren’t.
In conclusion, it is possible to make true friends on the Internet, but it is often improbable. It’s easier, and sometimes safer, to keep online friends at a distance.
It seems to me like a lot of friendships do seem to take place through a screen lately. I've heard numerous people mention how they follow all these people on social media, yet they've never spoken to them face to face. I even found myself being able to relate to this comment and it's a realization that surprised me. It's true that people spend more time talking to others through messages and calls and while this can be meaningful in it's own way, it could never compare to the importance of face to face interaction between friends. And sometimes even when people hang out together they end up on their phones, which really bothers me because it's like why bother coming over to just isolate yourself and be sucked back into the screen that tends to separate friends in the first place.
Online friends shouldn't be a problem, as long as you know exactly who you're talking to so you aren't putting yourself in any danger. I think that a real connection could be made through a screen but it shouldn't be the only form of communication, especially if you live close to your friends and could just as easily get up to see them.
Ah, yes, it only makes sense that the author initially attacks games, it is common knowledge that video games rots your brain. I have been playing video games for years, and with the birth of online play, I do have online connections. However, while I have a few “Scuzzballs,” those aren’t the main connections.
I’ve been joining, leaving, and increasing the size of my friend groups. As a huge introvert, gaming is a platform in which I can regularly communicate with friends. With busy high school schedules, sometimes the most face-to-face interaction I can get with certain friends is a casual head nod in passing classes. I can still know I’ll be able to talk with them later.
I have two older sisters, and one of the things that just boggled my mind was that they could just sit there and talk with their friends. For hours. Whether it’s on the couch next to me, or across town, common interaction needs something to make it bearable for long periods of time. I’m probably just boring, but I’d rather play AND talk.
Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy, sometimes prefer, in person interactions. The non-virtual field is where I create bonds. The digital interactions is where I continuously strengthen these bonds. My closest friends, are the ones I met in real life and the ones I follow up with through, both, the internet and face-to-face.
Having meaningful friendships is very important to me, so I don't understand people who are satisfied with having online friends. My brother has a lot of "friends" that he plays games with on his Xbox, but just like most online friends, he's never actually met them. He also has absolutely zero connection or interaction with them outside of his Xbox. I stopped playing all video games when I was about 12 years old, but if I had online "friends," I definitely wouldn't consider them real friends.
In order for someone to qualify as a true friend, you have to have a real emotional connection with them, or else they're just an acquaintance that you don't think much of and probably even take for granted. I think it's very possible to have long distance friendships as long as you frequently interact with each other and continue to maintain that emotional bond. But, at the same time, I agree with Asma when he says that physical contact is very important in having a real friendship with someone, because long distance friendships can become very hard to maintain, to the point where you don't talk to the other person at all. Overall, the most real friendships are the face-to-face ones.
When comparing a physical friend to a gaming or social media "friend", technology falls short. Many modern day teenagers have been let down by face-to-face interactions, and fallen back on the unending "love" of an icon on a screen. Friendships are complicated. You fight, compromise, and sacrifice, but the ends surely justify the means. Asma wrote, "The kind of presence required for deep friendship does not seem cultivated in many online interactions.". This statement explains why teenagers choose online friendships over true friends. Kind and uplifting comments come from every direction, and there is no effort put in to receiving them, but there is no depth or connection.
When my grandmother passed away, I was an emotional wreck. I didn't want to leave my house, let alone talk to other people. Noticing that something wasn't right, my friend Samantha dropped by my house, and soon learned the reasoning behind my sudden disconnection. She stayed with me, talked, cried, and laughed with me, until I felt okay again. You can't receive that type of relentless love and support from a screen. When you need a shoulder to lean on, all you'll have is your laptop. No data connection can fill the shoes of a true friendship.
Using the internet to stay connected with friends is great, but a face to face connection is even better. Having a good bond with someone is one of the greatest feelings, but you really have to experience it face to face to see how truly good it is. I have many different friends and am close with each and every one of them in different ways. They all portray different aspects of what I want a friend of mine to be like. I value my friends very much because some people aren't as lucky as me and don't feel a connection with as many people as I do.
"We can share experiences with a person online, but the experiences seem thin when compared with face-to-face experiences." This statement lays it out perfectly how important it is to make memories with your friends and share experiences through face to face interactions. You get the true meaning out of a friendship.
you can use the internet to make friends, and the person you meet on the internet could be the same kid you met at school, so I see no difference. A person is a person if they are in person or if they are online. If you truly do connect with someone over the internet what separates them from a friend. I see no reason to worry about what type of friendship it is, you both clearly have common interests, and connect on a level to continue talking to them, because it is very easy to just ignore them or leave them, so if they feel compelled to continue talking then there must be some sort of friendship going on.
I think that with the popularity of the internet this will keep becoming more and more common, and I think that is perfectly fine, it is a great way to meet people you would of never met before, and potentiality make new friends.
Using the internet to maintain friendships is healthy and strengthening. One of my best friends moved away the summer before seventh grade, and we would go months without any physical interactions. It was very hard on our friendship at first, but being able to overcome the distance has made us closer. It allowed us to cherish the time we spend together, and we began to text so much more. We've become really close over the past few years because our devices provided a means of communication.
Even so, I had known her before we had used texting and social media to keep in touch. But new friendships can also be created through the digital world. Asma argues that "friendship requires 'being with' and 'doing for,'” but simple friendships can be created by simply finding something in common or making each other happy. A few months ago, my mom embraced her love of photography. Facebook gave her a group of people from around the world who share her passion; they share tons of pictures daily. They work on photography themes each week and encourage each other to continue the art. Having friends over Facebook gave her motivation and new ideas for her photos. I'm extremely grateful for the communication services that the internet has provided us with. Whether it strengthens preexisting friendships, or forges new ones, social media is helpful when searching for friends.
I've known my best friend for 11 years. Which is a crazy long time. We text each other constantly and communicate over the phone when we aren't together, but a good 80% of our friendship is seeing each other in person. And I'm not saying you cant be friends with someone online for many years. My mom has had the same friend since 7th grade and even though she lives in another state, and they only see each other once a year, their friendship is still incredibly strong. And although you can text or call a person and give a short summary of how your life is currently, I believe the stronger friendships occur when you regularly see the person and you can experience the same things. So sure the internet can hold the bond of a friendship and make sure you don't become distant. But I think those moments that you experience together with a person emotional or not is needed in order to form the strongest bond.
It’s so easy for young adults to get carried away talking with someone online, not knowing the other person’s true self. It’s so easy to lie and believe lies when you’re behind a screen. I think to be a real friend you have to experience things together, encourage one another, and be there for one another. What would happen if you’re going through a tough time? That online friend would not just show up to your house to be your shoulder to cry on. It would be awkward because you’ve never met them and interacted with them in person. There’s no way to truly know a person until you’ve been around them. I do think you can have a friend that you’ve met in person be an online friend as well. For example a close friend has moved far away, so you don’t see them often, instead, you text them and call them to keep in touch since you’re unable to see them.
I agree that a true friendship consists of “shared experience, loyalty, and shared intentionally, or mental connection,” as said in the essay. Loyalty is what I value most in a friendship. If your so-called friend isn’t loyal than they will be difficult to talk to and be there for. If there’s no loyalty in the relationship, there wouldn’t be much of a connection because they’re unable to be trusted.
There is nothing better than a good bond with someone. But you never know how good it truly is until you experience it. The more friends that you make the more you can see which people are really there for you, and who is your friend for the benefit of themselves. I think friendship value comes from the type of person you are. I am a very outgoing person who will talk to everyone. But some people are not like that. For me friendship is something I value very much. I have experienced the good and the bad of friendships and having a good bond with someone is worth going through all the people who are not there for you. But that is how I feel. I can see how someone else could be a little more introverted and think that friendship is not comfortable and a waste of time. And that is okay too. As people we do not need to be defined our friends, but the people who you are friends with can shape someone else's view on you.
As a teenager this isn’t a surprise to me, but I can relate to the parent who says their son would rather be online than talking to people face to face. I have a brother just like the son where he stays up till around four in the morning playing with people online he barely knows. It makes me start to worry about his well being, but he seems to be happy. However, he has only a few friends outside of the internet world and they come from talking online, so is online a good thing? He is apart of the 90% of 18-29 years old that are on social media if you count talking online on any platform, but I’m actually surprised the percent isn’t higher. I don’t use social media, but many people do and would never let it go. But I would never let go of my friends. They have helped me get through my rough times in life and I love them. I would let go of social media any day to keep my friends. Now should we get kids off of online to make friends? Yes if they don’t have even one friend and are very anti-social. The only thing not making friends would do is hurt them in the future with talking to others and making real friends. Having at least one best friend in your life is all you need to help you.
I personally don't think internet or online friendships are really friendships. I don't think you can have the same connection with an online friend that you could have with a real friend. I agree with the article that having the face to face interaction is very important in a friendship. I also agree that being able to tell their mood of facial expressions is also very important. I believe you cannot truly fulfill a friendship without face to face talking and interaction.
If I couldn't see my friends I wouldn't be able to see when something is bothering them and ask if they want to talk about it. I also couldn't tell whether they are happy or excited about something, just the little things that make being there for a friend worth while.
I don't have any online friendships. If I did I would want to meet them in person and talk face to face.
In the words of Abigail Brinner “ friendships multiplies the good of life and divides the evil,”. To me having a good friend triumphs all of the other important objects. Friends are the ones to help us grow and flourish into the best versions of ourselves. They push us out of our comfort zone and into a new found light.
Although we are ultimately the ones who dictate whether we blossom into an improved version of ourselves, our friends affect our growth too. I remember discovering my first real friendship. My friend, Amanda had wanted me to go to a baseball game with her, but i had wanted to stay home. Later, Amanda had bribed me into going to the game, and ultimately it was an amazing decision. I was pushed out of my awkward shell and ended up meeting many of my amazing friends today. going into the game, i was shy, and awkward, but when i had left that game, i was confident, and together. I owe most of that to Amanda, because she was the one to push me to do something that would help me. that was a true friend
“The emotional entanglement of real friendship produces Oxycontin and endorphins in the brains and bodies of friends — cementing them together in ways that are more profound than other relationships,”Stephen T. Asma writes, in “This Friendship Has Been Digitized,”. Asma is explaining how true friendships will forever be more important than any other relationship. After all, finding someone who can knock down boundaries can lead you to your best victory.
I feel like this needs to be said to everyone who isn’t optimistic about technology and its capabilities: it is possible to maintain a true friendship online! Sure it isn’t physical, and yes you may not get to spend time together all the time, but the memories, the inside jokes, and the bond itself are just as valid as those in a face-to-face friendship.
I’ve been friends with a girl that I met online for 3 years: 3 YEARS, and to be honest, I sometimes feel she’s a closer friend than some of my others. We FaceTime and text all the time (for all those wondering how we know so much just from meeting online) and we’ve had some of the best, the worst, the funniest, and the most memorable conversations of all time. One time we were on FaceTime, and she was playing “Die Young” by Kesha and other songs that were popular in the 2000’s. We were coming up with some of the funniest dance moves and lip sync impressions; we couldn’t help but laugh at each other. We were almost breathless once the call ended. I can’t even get moments similar to that with friends that I see everyday.
Online friendships are possible with effort, loyalty and communication. In fact, any friendship is possible with those three key parts. Friendships can provide the light when we are facing the rainiest moments, and I’ve seen a beautiful rainbow of a bond formed with my online friend.
100% yes, online friends are true friends. I've met some of the greatest people in my life over the internet. I have numerous people online that I frequently talk to, and talking to them feels the same as talking to my best friend or my school friends.
I do think the parents concerns are valid, though. Making friends over the internet is easier. Theres this wall between the two people online which may be why his son feels its easier to make friends virtually. In real life, social interaction can be difficult for many. I believe that its perfectly okay to have online friends, but its still important for people to develop those face-to-face social interaction skills that are needed.
I believe that having friends who you can talk to in person is so important. You don’t get the same emotional connection with friends who you only talk to online there’s no real bond there.
“I wonder whether the pre-internet, face-to-face experience of friendship that I knew growing up will be lost to our post-internet children.” I agree with the statement in the article because as we advance technologically we have become less social. Children use to beg their parents to let them play outside with their friends, now instead they ask if they can stay inside to play on their phone or Xbox.
I personally don’t have any internet friends. All of the friends I have I met in person and we hangout because there’s a difference of texting someone and actually talking to them in person. I believe parents should watch who their children talk to online and encourage them to spend time with their actual friends in person.
In this day and age, where young adults like me are more likely to communicate through text rather than letters, online friendships are a saving grace. When I was in second grade, my class had pen pals with another school in Montana. Knowing this person without actually meeting them is a fun experience. Now that I'm older, I can meet people online who have the same interests I do. There are artists and tv shows that none of my "real" friends follow. Through online friends I can find someone who shares this interest with me. Online friends are definitely different from the people you actually know. You might not tell them the same things, or maybe you tell them more. Either way, its still a real friendship.
Meeting people online is a fun part of gaming. You get to meet and learn about people from different parts of the world. You get a taste of their culture. Mr. Asma's concern for his son is valid, but having conversations with people across the world creates a connection that just isn't the same as being friends with a next door neighbor.
Loyalty is one of the biggest parts of friendship. I'm there when my friends need me and I hope that they'll be there for me. Online friends are available to talk through messaging services whenever you need them. Its the same support you receive when you text your friend during a rough patch in life.
My cousin lives in Hong Kong, making it extremely hard for us to communicate. I do not often see her, so I depend on social media to talk to her. She is my one of my best friends, even though I have not seen her in six months. I don’t necessarily think that you can make friends over the internet, but you can successfully maintain a friendship with someone who has moved away through the internet.
The problem with forming a friendship over the internet is a lack of trust. It’s difficult to trust someone who you have never met in real life, and trust is the most crucial part of any friendship. Also, like the article discusses, friendship is tough. When friendship get hard, you need face-to-face communication to work out your problems and move on.
In my opinion, I don’t think that people can truly be friends if they’ve never actually met. I don’t really take the concept of online friendship seriously, just because you play Xbox with the same guy every once in a while doesn’t mean you’re actually friends. To me it comes down to the fact that there’s rarely if any real bonding taking place during the games. With friends that you’ve actually met, you feel comfortable talking about what’s important to you, your plans, hopes and dreams- but the deepest connection I’ve ever seen through “friendship” online is talk about how to win the game.
As someone who has an online friend that I have never met before, I can attest to the fact that online friendships can be just as valid as regular friendships. About four years ago, I met a random girl online, and we bonded over our shared passion for nail art, and it has turned into one of my favorite friendships. What started with a few comments and direct messages turned into frequent FaceTime calls and eventually to telling each other everything, just like normal friends.
Even though she lives in Louisiana and I live in North Carolina, we know all about the highs and lows of each other's lives, and after four years, our friendship is stronger than ever and we have never left each other, which proves that the authors statement “when the going gets tough, wouldn’t my disembodied online friend just retreat to frictionless virtual friends who have few needs and make few demands,” is incorrect.
The article states that the “the most defining feature of deep friendship is “doing for,” and they give the example that a true friend would “bring me soup or medicine when I’m sick.” What matters more to me than a friend bringing me soup when I am sick, is a friend who will listen to me while I rant about being sick and provide emotional support when I need it. I can get my own soup, but I need someone else to be my support system because that is not something I can do by myself.
In my personal opinion I believe people you talk to mostly online can be the best friends out there. Now someone you met strictly online and only know them from a game, I think they can definitely be your friend but your best friend? I’m not sure, eventually most definitely but right away, not so much. There are millions of people in the world so to say that you have to limit yourself to being friends with the people that you can physically see and talk to seems very unreasonable. I have a few personal experiences that validate online friendships, one of my own includes me going to a different school than someone so we mostly talk online. Though we have met in person I would still consider us online friends because we never see each other in person and I would have to say that friendship is stronger than 90% of the people I see in person daily.
Friends are extremely important and emotionally and mentally can be as close or closer than some family members. They lift you up when you feel sad and you can tell them anything and expect honesty and support. To me having friends is the key to maintaining an emotionally happy and healthy life. I have moved around all my life and have made many close friends over the years. Through the years, the challenge of making good friends and creating bonds has been easily lost with every move. Although I’ve kept in touch with many people, the bond and friendship is forever changed by things like the distance created by the move and the difficulty of being able to express what I’m going through and them understanding it. With the negatives involved in moving and growing apart from friends, this separation allows me to grow, and to meet new friends and create new bonds. As I grow and move through life, I hope that I will meet lifelong friends. So I can always have someone who can be there for me and where I can be there for them. No matter if your friendship is through a video game screen or across the country. Friends should be what makes you happy and what makes you feel like you .
The most powerful friendships I have formed is by physically being with the person and interacting. I am not saying that you have to meet in person to become amazing friends, I just believe it builds more of a real relationship which creates a stronger bond. With all of the technology and different ways to interact with people, you begin to see more “friends” popping up.
What defines friendship for me is when you fully trust someone and enjoy each other's company while feeling completely comfortable. Although the internet is changing how society views friendship there is one way the internet has saved a friendship for me. One of my best friends sadly had to move to Raleigh several months ago. We thought our relationship would deteriorate with the lack of interaction but texting and video chatting have helped sustain our friendship. If I had a choice between meeting a friend in person or online the obvious answer is in person. Friendship should be real, not digitized.
While I agree that true friendships cannot be solely online as Mr. Asma suggests, I believe online relationships can be immensely valuable in youth. Often, children or teenagers reside to social media or video games to escape real world pressures and bask in these online pleasures, which ultimately leads to encounters between total strangers. Some may find these encounters menacing, but I believe online relationships can have sincere, positive effects.
To provide a personal example, I once encountered a boy in an online game’s voice chat who was several years younger than me. At first we merely talked about the game itself, but as our conversation flourished, the boy revealed some of his insecurities, allowing me to respond with knowledge I’ve learned growing up. We’ve continued to chat other times, so I feel valued for having this opportunity to support a fellow gamer while my online friend potentially gained worthwhile knowledge -- and I don’t even know his real name (or any personal information for that matter).
I would not consider this encounter to be a “fully realized” friendship as the bond doesn’t meet Mr. Asma’s criteria, but this friendship isn’t worthless simply because it took place online. Of course, one crucial aspect of friendship is trust, and the internet allows anyone to hide behind a digital persona, so I do not believe a true friendship can exist purely online, but we should not discount the value that can be found in online interactions.
Over the years I have learned that friends do tend to come and go. For example, when you transfer schools it is bound to happen that you move on from friendships from the previous years. Although what really keeps us in touch is through social media. I do end up using most of my free time on social media which is not ideal and this is why I do agree to some extent when Mr. Asma says that we spend too much time on social media. However this does not mean that it weakens the friendship AT ALL. From a kids point of view I use my social media as a way to stay in contact with my friends all the time. Now of course if my friend is hurt or needs help I would come over to their house but sometimes people do not want to be with people so because of our technology we are able to use facetime to connect.
When I was younger I was never surrounded by kids who wanted to befriend me. For the most part, I was never anyone’s first pick when it came to games or groups.
However, as I’ve gotten older I’ve come to realize that the smaller the group the stronger the friendship. Asma describes this as, “deep friendships” which are not easy to come by.
To me, a quality friendship is when two people can count on each other even when they are in a disagreement.
My best friend and I go to different schools, have different political opinions, and different outlooks on life in general. However, even with our differences we have always been there for each other through the good, and bad.
When it comes to long lasting friendships the distance should never matter, and neither should the way of communication. The only thing that matters is that both parties support the other when it comes to their hopes and dreams.
I don't think there are just "real life" and "online" friends, but instead a vast spectrum of the types of relationships we have in this modern age. The listed factors - shared experience, loyalty, and mental connection - generally qualify a friendship, but are also only some of a multitude of factors that define it. Shared experiences can be forged in any environment and under varying conditions. Loyalty can have directions and extents. Connections can be through anything from a casual interest to specific core values.
There's an infinite number of unnamed conditions that define a relationship, beyond these three things. Some people are more familiar to you (maybe you see them more often). Others may seem highly interesting or likable. Internet friends are restricted to online communications, and far away friends can't be visited frequently. Some are great to share deep conversations with, and others are trustworthy with gossip. You might like a friend for their dependability, humor, or creativity. Some friends are new, and others are from childhood. You bond over different activities with different people.
I have friends at school I adore, internet friends I talk to regularly, old best friends I miss, and close friends I confide in. Each friendship is different. "Internet," "real," "close," and "best" are all just loose labels we try to use to describe our relationships that go beyond words.
Online friends, their interesting. Personally, I can't think of one person I know purely through my phone, computer, or other device. However, I do believe that online friends can meet the criteria of a real friend. The NYT’s said that,”shared experience, loyalty and shared intentionality, or mental connection,” was what made people friends, or their crieta from what makes a friend. In the article they use the example of a kid playing with someone he met on his Xbox. Through playing video games together this kid and his online friend, whose handle is scuzzball, have met the first and forth crieta. Playing videos game they both are creating shared experiences together and strengthening their mental bond by spending more time together. Finally loyalty I believe would be created the more time these two online friends play other, eventually forming each others schedule around playing together.
While you always have to be careful with who you meet online, online friends are definitely possible.
My bubble is small, I am not the person everyone knows or everyone talks about. My few friends are people I can count on, no matter what they are always waiting to support me. People with many “friends” normally have one or two true friends if that. “These examples suggest that friendship needs three criteria for full realization: shared experience, loyalty, and shared intentionality, or mental connection.” Shannon Doyne gives a perfect definition of what it means to be a friend. Friends are there to grieve, laugh, smile and fail with you. The good or bad you can count on them online or not if someone is there for you, that's a real friend.
I’ve only met my best friend once in person. She lives in California and I live in North Carolina. two completely opposite sides of the country but we talk to each other everyday. My friend is someone who I can always count on to be there for me and I’m always there for her. One of my favorite things about having an internet friend is that I can talk to her about all of my drama and I don't have to worry about my gossip being revealed to everyone. That’s just one perk of our friendship but it’s far from the only reason why I love my friend who’s 2,500+ miles away from me. I know more about my her than I do myself or my irl friends.
Mr. Asma mentioned something saying that REAL friends bring you soup when you sick which he used to back up his claim of why internet friends can’t be true friends. It’s the thought that counts when you bring your friend soup when their sick, so whenever me and my friend are really missing each other or lovesick or sad, we try to send each other something, maybe a slice of cake from UberEats or sending clothes to each other. I understand Mr. Asma’s concern, but it’s just not necessary, friends are friends. While I would love to see my best friend again or live closer, our Skype sessions are the highlight of my day.
I’ve never been one to have a lot of best friends. I don’t think it’s even possible for one person to have more than three actual best friends. If you do, your best-friendships are probably pretty weak.
From a young age, I’ve always been content with having a small number of close relationships. Over the years, I’ve found that keeping my circle small grants me the ability to build what Asma describes as “deep friendships.” I totally agree that these strong relationships “require a lot of time, work and effort” because, once one person in the relationship isn’t able to (or doesn’t want to) put in the time, the relationship takes a turn for the worse.
Friendships are a key to success. Although some people are very independent and like to work by themselves, it is always good to have a friendship with someone. If you have a friendship with that person, then you could always talk to them about personal issues or even just gossip around school. In my generation, a high school student, I advise students to have a very friendly and strong relationship. Boy or girl, people need to be open minded towards the world and be open to new friends. Wherever you may go, you will always see new people. By being open minded in high school and making friends, it is like a jump start to communicating with the outside world. It is better to practice talking to people you are with all day rather than a complete stranger off the street. So teens in my generation must keep an open minded, strong, and honest relationship with a person or even multiple people. Meeting people online is very challenging because it is hard to know if people are robots or not considering the technology nowadays. But anyway, the youth needs to promote good relationships with friends, relatives, and people around the world.
I believe online friends can be true friends. Although you have never met them in person, it doesn't really matter. If you still talk to them the way you talk to your friends then they can count as one of your friends too. Its just like talking to your friends on the phone.
Mr. Asma does have a valid point. Although people spend too much time online. At least some are still socializing. The article states, "Classmates and workmates can become friends, as can fellow members of sports teams and musical groups, spouses, religious or military colleagues, and so on. These examples suggest that friendship needs three criteria for full realization: shared experience, loyalty and shared intentional, or mental connection." but sometimes you can become friends with someone by just talking.
A friend to me is someone who you like to be around and trust to be there for you. In an online gaming world you have so called "friends" but are they your friends? you've never met them before you don't know how they act or really anything about them. In my opinion I think you can be mutual friends with people online but there not gonna be your best friends. The people you confide in and fully trust.
Although I see where Asma is coming from saying that teens and young adults spend far too much time online, I do not believe that having online friends is entirely bad. Although I spend most of my time outdoors, I do also occasionally play XBox. I just see it as a fun way to socialize, and I do not believe in any way that it affects my relationships. If anything, it brings me closer to the friends that I play with.
Asma is, in my opinion, correct in saying that we spend far to much time on devices. However, I do not think that this has a very strong correlation to the weakening of relationships. Online friends are still friends, whether you call them "Scuzzball" as the kid mentioned in the article did or not.
As someone who has a lot of friends and likes to make friends, I think that having good online friends is great. I do not believe that you can only have friends that you meet in real life. In fact, I happen to have a lot of good friends who I only talk to through the Internet.
I have lived in three different places in my life. I currently live far from all the other places I’ve lived before, and I have friends who still live in the places that I used to live. I do not think that just because you don’t physically talk to them doesn’t mean you can’t be “real” friends.
The article states, “We cannot really touch one another, smell one another, detect facial expressions or moods, and so on. Real bonding is more biological than psychological and requires physical contact.” I completely disagree with this. I have one friend, whom I made friends with over the summer, and he lives far away from here. He and I talk to each other everyday, and send goofy pictures to each other. We have bonded really nicely and I would consider him one of my best friends. I don’t think that just because I don’t make physical contact with him doesn’t mean that we don’t have a bond, but I would say that there is something lacking, because I can’t tell him everything in person and see his immediate reaction.
A friend, to me, is anyone you can trust. I personally don’t think you can trust someone who you have never met before, but so many kids these days are playing video games which are introducing them to many people around the world. The issue though is that you don’t actually know who is behind the computer or TV screen, and this creates a very dangerous situation for the child.
I agree with this article in many ways. I think that virtual friendships are creating a isolated social world. People aren’t going out and meeting people like they used to. I believe that if you have a good friend you should be able to share everything with them. Whenever you are going through a rough time they should be there for you. A online friend won’t always be there for you. If you get into a fight there is an easy solution the block button, in real life there is no block botton. My best friend is by my side through thick and thin. I know I can trust her, and go to her whenever I’m feeling down, but with a virtual relationship that just doesn’t exist.
Virtual relationships aren’t necessarily a bad thing. I think it’s definitely easier to make friends online because you can put on different personalities to fit in, but in face to face relationships you can’t pretend to be someone else. There is no hiding behind a computer screen in a real relationship. Friendships need real interactions, and I think kids and teens, including myself, are losing the ability to do that.
I believe to have a consistent and true friendship you would need to know more about someone than their battle strategies and a simple username. I believe to be a real friend, you have to smile at them in the hallways, work with them on a project, high five them when they achieve something they're proud of, and be an significant influence in someone's life. On a phone or television screen you just don't get the same experience.
"...I don’t recognize any sense in which Scuzzball and my son are real friends. And that concerns me. I wonder whether the pre-internet, face-to-face experience of friendship that I knew growing up will be lost to our post-internet children." writes Asma about her 15-year-old son. She isn't wrong, You have no clue who could be behind that username, and even if they appear friendly you could still be wrong. The possibility is always open. Kids in this generation are trusting and placing their time into a virtual "friend". These kids will never get to see their face, hear their voice, or know their personality. The only clue they have is in an online avatar in an online world.
Recently, I have found who my true friends are, and I didn't do that by staring at a computer. As strange as it might sound I feel it's best to just leave the internet friends behind, go out of your room, branch out, and make a friend that will stick by your side even if the screen flashes GAME OVER.
Everyone has a slightly different definition of friends, but most people define friends as those who share the same interests and are loyal to you. Much like Mr. Asma, I define friendship this way as well. But, I believe that online friends can be true friends. As a personal example, a close friend of mine recently picked an entirely internet based friend up from the airport so that he could visit our state. The two had played video games online for a long time, and finally decided to visit one another. However, they didn’t visit one another to become friends--they were already friends before they had ever met in person. Friends don’t have to constitute a physical relationship. Being friends isn’t one big thing, it’s several little things--things that can be accomplished over the internet. You don’t have to be in the same room as someone to laugh, or play, or share your experience or pain. I agree that friendships require shared experience and loyalty and mental connection, but I see no reason as to why those things can’t take place online. Of course, having friends physically near you is important, but that shouldn’t discount friends that you have online. I assert that Mr. Asma simply has an older worldview that doesn’t include the understanding of the online world that the newer generations have. You could see it negatively, but I prefer to see it as a new avenue for discussion and sharing of experiences in the most diverse community imaginable.
I think that while you might have some sort of relationship with an online friend, it does not qualify as a friend. I think the relationship between friends need to be physically present, so that you can develop a bond that is mental and emotional and takes place while playing a role in one another's lives, where you can provide support by being physically present. I think that it is a valid point to be concerned that technology is damaging the relationships of our youth, but I also think we need to accept the new standards of a relationship in the modern world. The author seems to be concerned about what his son considers valuable in a friend, and similarly what activity's he considers bonding, but I think that the criteria for a friendship varies and is not comparable for every relationship of middle and high schoolers. I think that shared experiences, is a relationship where interests and time can be spent together. I personally value relationships where I have "inside jokes" or shared memories that we reflect upon, and help us bond. Loyalty is a relationship that withstands the highs and lows of a friendship, and does not sink to the level of talking bad, or speaking about a "friend" in a derogatory manner. A mental connection is often emotional for me. It means to be able to share opinions and feelings without being degraded or not accepted. I think the fundamentals of high school friendships should be on the basis of respect and trust, as well as shared interests.
Of course you can make friends online and on video games, but are they really your friend? You have most likely never seen them or met them in person so you can't assume they're telling the truth about their identity. It is too easy to lie through the internet these days so you can't trust someone you've never met, especially when you don't even know their real name.
Digital friendships are not true friendships in my opinion because you are not physically interacting with them or sharing those emotional effects of a friendship. You are seeing who can get the new high score or most kills. A friendship is about making memories, laughing with one another, and having physical interaction to create a real bond.
Stephen T. Asthma writes, "They refer to one another as 'friends,' but to me their bond looks very tenuous. I don’t recognize any sense in which Scuzzball and my son are real friends. And that concerns me." I personally have played video games and made friends online. There are a couple of them that I continue to communicate with online and it is fun to have a new friend playing games with me, and even though I don't consider this to be a real friendship, it creates a sense of ease. I don't have to worry about what they think of me because they have no idea who I am, and I can be myself without having to feel pressure from society's eyes of 'normal.'
I still don't consider this a real friendship, but digital friendships can have both good and bad effects.
@Alex Lee I can see where they may think that online friends aren’t what they seem, and how easy it is to hide your true self, but you don't need to have a physical relationship to have a real and true bond. Yes There are a lot of people out there that act like completely different people, but not everyone is trying to hide something. There are those few people you can meet online and have a real bond with and grow a friendship with them. Online friendships are real in my opinion, but with the right people. You have to take your time to grow your bond with them to really know.
I completely agree with you in many ways, but I also see many things different than from how you see them
I personally believe that online friends cannot quite become true friends, because it is very easy to fake an identity online. It can be hard to determine if that sketchy Apex Legends teammate of yours is really 17 or if he's secretly a creepo in his mid-40s.
I believe it’s okay to have online friends, but they’re not actually friends. You can’t get to know them on a personal level because of two reasons, the first being safety. People can become whatever they want to be with the power of the internet in their hands. A 40 year old man can don the mask of a 7 year old boy and vice versa. You don’t know the truth about anyone and must assume the worst about everyone. Stephen T. Asma brings this up in his article, saying, “However, the online “friends” may be little more than dopamine-dosing tools and easily replaced without much dissonance. Indeed, one doesn’t even know who Scuzball is, or where he lives, or if he’s a he, or if he is a person or a bot.” If you share sensitive information with someone online, they can use that information to hurt you.
My second reason is that there’s no true friendship in the first place. Friends online are made by sending friend requests, an empty message that’s the same for everyone. These people may be labeled as friends, but they’re anything except that. Real friendship is made from spending time in the physical presence of a person. It’s making memories of a trip to the mall, a sleepover at a friend’s house, or a time when someone laughed so hard water came out their nose. Those are the memories that make a long lasting friendship, not the number of kills you make with someone online. There’s nothing solid about a high score; it’s numbers that can easily be changed and quickly forgotten.
@Hannah Jackson i believe in what you say on how online friends aren't actually friends is true, but some people don't have any friends so they consider online friends their true friends.
Having friends is important because loneliness is real. Having one good friend that you can true is also important and it sometimes takes effort to maintan a friendship.
I believe that online friends can be friends. However, the friendship or bond I share with them isn't even close to that of a friend who I have met. Friendships formed online are less important, because losing a game of Call of Duty, isn't nearly as important as winning a playoff game. Many of my friendships have grown in important, high intensity situations on a sports field, where you and your teammates need each other, which helps strengthen these bonds.
I would say that Mr. Asma has a genuine issue because even these days, our younger generations still experience friendships with people who we meet face to face. Personally, I would take a friendship with somebody I know and have met any day over a friendship with somebody who I share an online connection with.
"These examples suggest that friendship needs three criteria for full realization: shared experience, loyalty and shared intentionality, or mental connection." This is a statement I firmly believe is true because how can you truly trust someone as a friend, if they haven't proven their loyalty, or if they haven't done things in high stress situations, allowing you to fully judge their character.
@C H i agree