When Is Sorry Not Enough? Virginia Scandals Test the Limits of Forgiveness

The culture at the time was way more forgiving of blackface back in the 80s--a couple of movies that come to mind are Soul Man and Trading Places. This isn't a defense of Ralph per se, just to point that wearing blackface 35 years ago wouldn't have stood out as blatantly offensive as it does today. The guy who dressed as the klansman however...even in the 80s there wasn't much tolerance for that.

As a nation we have a past that may be unforgivable, but must be acknowledged with the resolve to be better. At the top of the list is slavery, but there are more: the horrific treatment of Native Americans, the mass lynching of 11 Italian-Americans in Louisiana, the treatment of Mormons as they moved west, just to highlight a few. We know there are more, some existing to this day. We must face what we have done, and still do, resolve to be better in our daily lives and interactions, and yes, seek forgiveness.

There is a simple formula for judging past transgressions. A) how long ago was the transgression B) how serious was it C) what has been that person's conduct since then. (A x B) - C = how harshly that person should be judged.

First of all, it's not up to white people to decide when black people should or shouldn't forgive racist acts. I appreciate Virginia Republicans' newfound appreciation for treating black Virginians with the respect they deserve. It seems to me, though, that what would really show that respect as if Republicans join with Democrats to physically remove the celebrations of the Confederacy, and by extension slavery and white supremacy, that one finds throughout their state capital. Thye'd first need to join with their Democratic colleagues to repeal the state law forbidding this that they recently passed. Perhaps Virginians of all races and both parties could join in physical removing, perhaps to museums, these reminders of an even worse past in their state. This accomplished, they could then move on to throwing the various bums out at the next election, and prosecuting any outright crimes.

Another spasm of religious revivalism, only this time, saints be praised, within the largely secular wing of American liberalism. The ferocity of this revival, its puritanical determination to root out every single trace of racism, sexism, and elitism, appears to be inversely proportional to secular liberalism tolerance of metaphysics, which makes it comical, in a depressing kind of way. Perhaps it is a natural reaction to the admittedly maddening way evangelicals have been flying cover for a man of Trump’s character—virtue signaling in a gilded age of political corruption. It feels good, and maybe it IS good to reset the national conversation, but this preoccupation with individual sin, it seems to me, takes our eyes off the ball: the policies that govern our collective life as a nation. Leave the purification rituals in church where they belong and get used to working with the morally compromised. If Churchill and Roosevelt worked with Stalin to save Western civilization from the Nazis, we can work for a more just America with a politician who wore blackface in the moronic and callous days of his youth.

Read William Barber's op-ed piece on repentance and forgiveness in the Washington Post, https://tinyurl.com/y742oyah. If we are truly looking for a way forward toward racial reconciliation and healing in our nation, then we must reject optics and gotcha politics for deeper truths that allow for personal growth, transformation, repentance and forgiveness.

These offenses need to be judged on a sliding scale. Even in the 1980’s, someone dressing in blackface next to someone in a KKK uniform would have been shocking and offensive. A white person dressing up as Michael Jackson in the 1980’s, although now understandably recognized as offensive, might not have been deemed shocking and offensive at the time. The intent of those two situations is different. The former is making a sick joke out of the suffering and deaths of too many people. The latter is a misguided attempt at a tribute. That being said, all offenses, to warrant forgiveness, require acceptance of responsibility and a sincere apology. The amount of penitence should be proportionate to the offense. We shouldn’t be so quick to “cancel” people for past mistakes if they own up to them and sincerely apologize, but if you’re planning your comeback before you’ve finished saying you’re “sorry,” maybe a bit more self-reflection is due. We can save our “cancellations” for people, like the POTUS, who never apologize.

If these are the limits of our forgiveness, then I fear we are truly in a bad way! Our society is becoming less forgiving, and more ruthless and vindictive. There is an element of it which cannot be understated, which is that part of the public enjoys the role of being judge, jury, and executioner - one can only assume it’s the feeling of control. Whatever happened to “Judge not, lest ye be judged”?

Not worry... Mueller is on this too. Better hope there’s no unpaid parking tickets.

It seems to me that we’ve created a secular religion in which all have sinned but there is no clear path to redemption.

I understand the Times has moved on from this aspect of the debate, but I don't think it's entirely settled in many people's minds that "blackface" that bears no resemblance to a minstrel show racist mockery is truly blackface (e.g., a non-black person dressing up in a costume of a person that is black and darkening their skin for the sake of a realistic physical portrayal -- like those Met actors in Othello).

I don’t agree with viewing Governor Northam’s behavior as a question of what he did thirty years ago. What concerns me is what he’s done since and who he is now. First, he has refused to take responsibility for the racist photograph that appears on his yearbook page. He claims that it was placed there by mistake, even though the process by which photographs were submitted makes that highly unlikely. He also claims never to have looked at his yearbook page in all these years, which is also highly unlikely. And he admitted to being in the photograph, then retracted his admission. All of this casts serious doubt on his honesty today. Second, rather than bring the photograph to light himself and apologize for it, he appears to have hoped that it would never become public knowledge. That suggests a reckless disregard for what might happen to Virginia and to other Democrats there if this ever were exposed. It was never just about his own political fate, especially when he decided to run for Governor. So this suggests an unwillingness, over the years and continuing to this day, to put the best interest of others ahead of his own. It also suggests a lack of political courage. These are not the qualities of an effective leader. So I think he needs to step down based on who he is today, not who he was in 1984.

As a country, we haven't figured out how to atone for past egregious behavior and actions. Many aren't to the point of accepting that we need to do so. Some countries have figured it out and I don't understand why we don't try to learn from them. But, this zero tolerance policy that the Democrats have waded into is going to bite them in the butt. Due process is a thing and they need to remember that.

Is “smirking” the new blackface???

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone Not only that, but with everybody going through life so aggrieved, always ready to be wounded by every real (or perceived) slight, where has our strength gone? Could it be that a refusal to forgive is a sign one is not prepared to relinquish their victim status? And why is that? What builds character more, a willing to understand, empathize, and forgive, or dedicating one's energy to point a perpetual finger at those who have displayed poor judgement? Which keeps you stuck, which helps you grow? I shake my head at the current state of affairs and the outrageous blunders of our leaders, I do — and I wish I myself could be more forgiving at times. Maybe just remembering that forgiveness is an option is a good place to start.

In the current climate of pc hysteria, no apology is enough. No amount of groveling is enough. Only humiliation will do.

As many have written - grow-up, because many of us have. We don't elect 20-year old Governors, Senator or Presidents precisely because, although a 20-year old may 'know everything' - they really don't. They may know right from wrong but they likely don't know fun from harm. Ideally, we seek out and elect those who have lived and learned - and grown (with the occasional exception). At 60, do I really want to be judged by the decisions and beliefs I held 40 years ago? Do I even need to explain that I have changed? Granted - some people never leave home; still hang with the same crowd from high school; still have 'beliefs' carried from childhood - but clearly these politians in Virginia (from both parties) do not fall into that category. I will go so far as to say that making and overcoming mistakes is a noble quality. However, I do not understand why these politicians have not made that case for themselves: "there's no excuse for my actions, but I have since grown to know how offensive they were. Please forgive me." Now, can we please move on to the next scandal?

Yes, this blackface business is in very bad taste and insulting, even 35 years ago, even if you were brought up in small-town Virginia, even when you were young and did dumb things. A week ago no one was calling Northam -- who won 87% of the African-American vote when elected governor -- a racist. Now you'd think he's the grand wizard of the KKK and has a history of lynchings. He's got plenty to apologize for, but if you look into every politicians' closet, there are skeletons galore. Northam should remain in office -- he's otherwise been a highly regarded governor -- and make amends. We're having a teachable moment in Virginia and America.

How much of this is the man/men, and how much is this the place or culture of a place? Aside from all the monuments and memorials (see James Comey's piece in the WaPo), what does it mean when a state has a "Jefferson Davis Highway," "Lee Highway," "Lee-Jackson Memorial Highway?" (All in northern Virginia) Or, schools named after these people and their compatriots? Gov. Northam and the Atty General absolutely should be embarrassed and ashamed, but, so should the entire state. These roads and schools are the next layer of the racist onion that needs to be peeled away from Virginia. Perhaps once these and other symbols of racism are removed from Virginia, young men and women, and even older ones, can examine their inner beliefs and attitudes, and learn to judge people not by their skin color but by the content of their character. Focusing on the governor and/or attorney general may remove the immediate, but, it leaves the underlying, further delaying the reckoning that this Commonwealth/State badly needs.

I was born and raised in the African Methodist Episcopal Church. My faith was the first Protestant church created by free Africans in America. White Methodist banished their black congregation members to the back door then the balcony and then out the door in Philadelphia Pennsylvania. Richard Allen and his fellow free blacks founded their own church. My faith taught me that forgiveness was due to those who sincerely apologize, accept responsibility for their actions and ask for forgiveness. Forgiveness serves to cleanse your own heart and mind and soul. Forgiveness is not forgetfullness. Forgiveness is earned.

Doing and saying things that are reprehensible, off-color, or rude are off-putting and require a sincere apology, but they don't rise to the level of having to resign. Let the voters decide how they feel about any and all of these individuals in the next election cycle.

Two words: glass houses.

Count me among the Virginians wondering: If we disqualify from public office every one of us who's guilty of having been young and stupid decades ago, how will the two remaining people run the whole government?

With the goalposts always changing, forgiveness becomes significantly more complicated. There seems to be little consistency on which actions cause outrage and which are excusable, especially on the left. It is simply exhausting to figure out and does benefit our country.

By this politically correct repression movement currently in vogue, the Founding Fathers would have to apologize and resign.

This is all starting to feel like a revival meeting.

Do we take the entire arc of someone's life, including their service to others, into consideration? It depends on the nature of the crime. If he or she murdered someone 30 years ago, that cannot be forgiven — although it should never be punishable by death. If someone wore an offensive symbol 30 years ago but has done a great deal of good since that time? Virginia's governor did something offensive. Joe Biden promoted and voted for a bill that incarcerated thousands of black people, mostly young men, for essentially trivial offensives. Perhaps we are barking up the wrong tree?

I think one question is at what age are we expected to be 100% politically correct? I believe there is general agreement on the extremes (I.e., at birth is too young and age 99 is too old), but feel we should be more forgiving in between. Having said that, the idea that a black-faced individual and pseudo-klansman would be pictured ina medical school yearbook is beyond my own comprehension. There is no excuse for the individual or the institution, despite the school’s claims of non-involvement. Both should be chastised. But, in the end, I still feel that education, rather than punishment is the appropriate way forward. How else are we to continue to mature as a society?

As we have had to learn over and over again, there is the indiscretion and then there is how the indiscretion is handled. Does the apology reveal true repentance or merely an attempt to place blame elsewhere? Does the apology demonstrate growth as a human being or mere self preservation? Governor Northrop’s press conference on Saturday revealed he had little comprehension of why wearing black face is offensive. Don’t use shoe polish because it is hard to remove?

Oh, please! Nothing says “irreverent” more than a college party. I remember in the late 70’s hearing about colleges having Jonestown parties where they mixed grain alcohol and purple Kool-Aid in a big container and led people to the container to drink a cup. And, of course, college life in that era was heavily influenced by the irreverence of the zeitgeist of the time: SNL, Animal House, music (e.g.: ‘Some Girls’ by the Stones), punk rock (e.g.: The Dead Kennedys), etc. Wearing blackface at a party back then would not have stood out from the background noise. No need to apologize, it just encourages more outrage. The only beneficiaries of any of this are the news media whose advertising revenues must be going through the roof.

Forgiveness and redemption must be built into teaching about racism, misogyny and homophobia or there will be no reason to learn.