I can't remember which Greek philosopher it was who said words to the effect of, 'It's not how you live, it's how you die.' Fortunately, or unfortunately, while the authoress of this book experienced both (as we all must) her words will stay with us forever. Many thanks for sharing this piece so that countless others can live whatever is remaining of their lives to the fullest by always being fully in the present.
3
People interested in this book might also like to read "Cancer Without Walk-a-Thons," written by my daughter, Rachel Roisman, between the time she was diagnosed with a rare cancer and the day she died, at age 42. The book is available on amazon.com Rachel, a public health physician, wrote a blog that is funny, inspiriting, and inspiring; the book is her blog. We hope and believe that reading it can be helpful to others who are dealing with such terrible situations.
5
I am sorry for this woman's death. I just wish that you didn't have to have a soulmate and children to be celebrated and deemed having a life worth living.
5
I just finished this book and my heart is full as I cry tears of sadness, gratitude and joy, all at the same time. Thank you, Julie, for leaving such a lasting legacy with your words.
3
My best friend died three years ago from colon cancer. She survived over 5 years from diagnosis in order to raise her kids. What she put herself thru, both physically and mentally, in order to live as long as she could, was utterly astonishing. I could never, ever have done it.
3
As a hospice nurse, I have met so many wonderful patients such as the writer. It is gut-wrenching to see their lives so full and the fact that they have to leave them so soon. They have wonderful homes, beautiful children who we get to know. They have gardens and fun clothes and they make art or write or have great friends. Just like the rest of us. Because they are like all of us. They worry so much about loved ones, especially the children they are forced to leave behind to grow up without them. They try so hard to keep living. I cry just remembering all of their special lives. I still think of many often. And although I never met Ms. Yip-Williams, I am saddened beyond belief. Her book should be widely read. It is a testament to LIFE. She was wonderful. Her kids, though bereft, should be so proud. What a legacy she left to them. Appreciating all of life. Good and bad.
8
How can anyone who takes life head on not read this book? May God bless the impact of this memoir.
4
Sad story though she had a good life by coming to the U.S. and marrying and had children. She was fulfilled. She was educated and content; she led a good, admirable, life few people do especially the hateful ones who are acting like petulant children daily against our president, gov't., country and people unlike them. People who do not want socialism, infant killing etc.
1
Not the place.
30
@Lodger
Amen. Unfortunately, some folks never know where/when to draw the line. More's the pity ...
Bless her!
The Scots have a saying, "Be happy while you're living, for your a long time dead." books like this are the kick in the pants we need every now and then to remember this.
8
I just spent a few hours reading this book after I read this review. My eyes are red and swollen and my nose is congested from crying. My teenage daughters are showing me their school projects and I am making enthusiastic noises, hoping they won’t look at my face. I hope I can honor this woman’s life by living life more thoughtfully.
7
What a beautiful and heartbreaking story, and what a brave, courageous, inspirational woman!
I had goosebumps when reading this article, and felt a lot of admiration for this woman, because I was amazed to see how she managed to write and to live despite all that she went through..
She should be an inspiration for all of us, and I think I will definitely read this book!
11
This wonderful woman should be an example for many of us, myself included, as we lament the America that is gone and are forced to accept a world much more akin to that which Yip was brought into: who knows maybe we wil all be better off when we aren’t born into a world such as 1940s America that offered up a bright future for all: maybe if we have to overcome tremendous adversity we will be the better for it: Ms. Yip is certainly an example of just that, I will be one however who just wished I realized how lucky I was until it was to late; America was busy saving the world as in Vietnam and the excellent result it was for folks like Ms. Yip. Her story reminds me of two articles in the Portland newspaper a few years ago: on the front of the paper was a picture of two young Vietnamese men who found great success in something and on the back in the obits was an articl about a handsome young third generation German American Portland man, Bob Steel if memory serves me, who went to Vietnam, lost a leg, came back to live a quiet life working in a factory and died rather young: the juxtaposition of those articles left an indelible impression and I hope this is an appropriate time to share them: you never know what life is going to deal you, so get out there and enjoy every moment as if it’s your last, because it very well may be.
6
A related incident in the Hindu mythology of the epic -- Mahabharata. I will not provide the full context to keep it short. At a very crucial point of events, the god of dharma tests his son born on earth-- the eldest of the Pandava Yudhishtir (after all 4 of his brothers have died by refusing to answer some questions of the owner of a pond from which they drank water and died)-- with the question-- "what is the strangest thing in the world?" . Yudhistir answers correctly for the god-- "the strangest thing is-- everyone goes about their daily life as if there is no death (until they are about to die)" . A subsequent question was-- "what is the hardest thing to do?" and Yudhistir's answer was--"To forgive our enemies."
6
"When I look back at the past and think of all the time I squandered in error and idleness, lacking the knowledge needed to live, when I think of how often I sinned against my heart and my soul, then my heart bleeds. Life is a gift, life is happiness, every minute could have been an eternity of happiness! If youth only knew! Now my life will change; now I will be reborn. Dear brother, I swear that I shall not lose hope. I will keep my soul pure and my heart open. I will be reborn for the better." Fyodor Dostoyevsky
30
@Linda M Thank you, Linda M, for sharing this very lovely and poignant quote.
6
After reading the review, I bought the book. I could hardly get through her opening letter to her daughters without crying, well, sobbing.
While there is no "how to" book on the proper way to live, Williams's words on the utility of pain and suffering and its flip side, relief and joy, are a start.
This is a valuable book that I am glad I have begun, though I can tell will gut me as I, like everyone, have lost beacons in my life too soon. Still, this book makes clear that life is meant to be lived, meaning is meant to be found, and we are here to do good while we can.
110
@Katy K., your firsthand account of Ms. Yip-Williams's book is powerful. I can't help but think, however, that we are misled into believing that meaning is "meant to be found." Meaning doesn't fall from the sky. It isn't a matter of destiny. We might spend less time waiting if, instead of looking for meaning, we took personal responsibility for instilling it in our lives. It seems to me that is what Ms. Yip-Williams did throughout her life.
9
Ah yes, friends we are all terminally ill! I am most upset by that thought when I think of my very young grand nephews and nieces. But the exhortation of Julie Yip-Williams “Live while you’re living, friends.” resounds as the music of my life. At 70 I need at good kick every year, I hope this book will do it. Thanks Julie for your life and tome!
58
What an incredibly strong woman, leaving us with profound lessons how to live our life. I have wasted so much of my life mourning for precious time gone by, while wishing today over, and restless for tomorrow, and start the ritual all over again.
52
Sorry, but I didn't get what is the contribution this book would make on the subject of life and death. It is much more simple: life is about learning how to love and to dedicate more time and appreciate the company of those we love. This is something that we forget when we are distracted by the demands of work to pay our bills to survive. Just stay away from TV and the stupid smartphones that keep you away from enjoying our loved ones before we or they die. Death is inevitable.
6
Her end of life story sounds inspirational and amazing, in and of itself.
I'm still reeling from her having the knowledge that her grandmother wanted her killed for her disability and that her parents then took her to be euthanized.
The word indomitable doesn't do this woman justice.
14
A book that will touch many hearts - especially the words she has for her precious daughters—-
3
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
2
God bless you! You’re extraordinary!
2
A powerful sharing. Thank you for sharing it in a different type of review.Days after I was almost killed in an unexpected car accident- saved by inches and technologies-on my way to sharing a Sabbath meal with my family in Jerusalem, as I do most Friday nights, feeling helpless as the trucks lights headed towards me-( an image vividly still with me)-I thought of all those people i had not said goodby to, nor would say Hi, Shalom, Salam Aleichem to, ever again. This reviewed book, a gifting from and by a stranger, reminds many if not most of US that everyday is a gift of unexpected opportunities! Whatever their valence- - -/ . In a reality of interacting uncertainties. Randomness. Unpredictabilities. Lack of total control, no matter the types, levels and qualities of our efforts. By ourselves as we as with others. Opportunities for making choices whose processes and outcomes can be unknowable. Doing the best that each of us is able to. Given who we are. Who we are not. Who we may never BE. As well as who and what each of us may yet BE come. A daily challenge; not to be taken for granted with the time granted to US!
37
yes. life is a gift, ...to be vastly appreciated. her courage is simply to be admired and an inspiration to all.
...reading... made my day.... thank you...
1
With a likely terminal diagnosis probable in my near future (completeandtotalloser.blogspot.com, if interested), I find that it's not enough to say that Kübler-Ross’s stages of grieving are visited and revisited, sometimes out of order: they also overlap. This is especially true of depression and acceptance. Whether that's described in Yip-Williams's memoir or not, I'd bet she knew it.
3
I read this review while staying at a friend's house, on her couch, recovering from pneumonia; and for all intense purposes one of the millions of homeless seniors seeking a place to live, yet not retire. Two weeks ago I was alone in a motel room far away feeling like I was dying as I couldn't catch my breath, trying to cover my angst for those who seemed to care. I had felt this way many times before as a child; struggling against all odds to combat asthma and pneumonia, to find the extra breath of life. Back then my mom was there to hold my hand and worry for me, it was a time when I didn't know to worry about the outcome. We all can't win back life when death creeps to our doors, but we must carry on as best as our strength can endure and live a meaningful life. Julie Yip-Williams has left her mark to help each of us take an extra deep breath and enjoy what we have in the moment. Time is all we have, and time is running out; find the joy and the purpose in each of your moments and offer your grace to others. Thank you Julie; I felt the energy of your life, not the fading of your breath.
72
@L Holley thank you for your comment— as someone who struggles daily with cervical dystonia, you somehow gave me the encouragement to keep on going. Your grace shines through in your comment.
7
"A word to the wise is sufficient."
1
Julie Yip-Williams sounds truly wonderful.
I would like to offer my two most beloved quotations, both on death and dying:
"Nor love thy Life, nor hate; but what thou livst
Live well, how long or short permit to Heav'n."
- John Milton
“One should part from life as Odysseus parted from Nausicaa-blessing it rather than in love with it.”
— Friedrich Nietzsche
6
What a beautiful human being......
9
This book hadn't previously been on my radar, and I’m not sure if I have the courage to read it. But something the reviewer mentions regarding the author's perception of the Kubler-Ross stages of grief jumped out at me.
During the death of a loved one, I recall feeling resentful of the Kubler-Ross grief rubric as explained to me by a hospice counselor because it was presented as so neatly linear. You entered a stage, completed your task, exited, then entered the next stage.
I had no time (nor inclination) to read about grieving trajectories in the midst of caregiving, so I’m not sure if it was Kubler-Ross’s idea or Ms. Yip-Williams’s, but I’m knocked out by:
“Describing the ways in which terminally ill patients cope with their own deaths, these stages weren’t meant to delineate a neat sequential progression but rather the various emotional states a dying person might visit, leave and visit again.”
Here the author or reviewer is talking about the dying person herself, but the stages of grieving apply similarly to the caregiver (in my case the significant other and I would imagine our children).
Regardless, it was just an observation. Ms. Yip-Williams sounds like a remarkable woman. I’m sorry for her suffering. I offer my sincere condolences to her husband and little girls. It strikes me as such a cruel blow for young children to lose a mother. I find it difficult to discern a grand plan in the motherlessness of a young child.
11
The undercurrent of every tragic story that exhorts people to live every moment like it’s your last is that Americans don’t know how to live, and there’s truth to that. I’ve been to Europe. They live life on its own terms, whereas we try to cheat death by moving at breakneck speed and accumulating ephemera. The best way to live a long fulfilling life is not to think that you have to jet out to Hong Kong on a whim, which is typically American—make a splashy gesture, but to strip down and simplify your life. Forgo the toys, the big house, the baubles—all the things that feed your ego. I only own a TV and a car. It’s freed my mind to pursue a lifelong dream to be a writer and to fill my head with ideas, not worry about protecting and displaying my things. It’s been liberating.
29
Beautifully written review. This made my day.
8
What I have learned is that all of us are blind at birth. Most of us with well functioning eyes never learn to see. But, then there are those like Julie Yip- Williams whose eyes do not function yet learn to see with the clarity of a saint.
36
Yes I'd love to read the book, thanks so much for publishing this piece and her obituary, so moving.
3
We are all star stuff. And the mystery for me is wondering about the spark that ignites each of our souls – and wondering where our soul goes when we die. I love you. Yes. You.
13
Very sad ...
I was thinking about a book that explains what and how difficult it
Is about the couple (wife, husband ) feelings and sadness through the process of losing ones dear one.
Does anyone know of a book like that ?
Maybe I should write one.
2
As a senior citizen, I was afraid to read book review. Once I read it, I can only hope that I can remember and leave my own children and grandchildren a legacy of how to die with dignity.
8
I was 28 until last December when I turned 66 and started thinking about the fact that my old feet won't allow me to walk the Camino Santiago in this life. There are things a person can not know before having the experience of it; death is the final one. Pondering it can help us prepare by embracing life. Ms. Yip-Williams helps us in this, remarkably.
14
@Rachel Hoffman
Rachel I don't know your condition, but want to tell you that it is possible to walk the Camino near the end for only a day or two. Could you manage that? Or simply visit Santiago? Don't deprive yourself of such an experience because you can't walk the whole thing.
11
There is a young millennial, Zac Greenberg, 28 who is a brilliant composer, musician, film maker living and working in New York, LA, Cincinnati.
He and his grandmother are founders of "Musicians for Health". He has composed - 3 years ago - a four part jazz composition, along the lines of Kubler Ross's 5 stage description of denial, anger etc. His composition is entitled "Unexpected Journey". Proceeds of their events go to the Barrett Cancer Center in Cincinnati, Ohio. The idea for Musicians for Health came from his grandmother Joyce Elkus, who also founded AFTA, an organization that enabled Veterans of the Iraq war to go to sports and arts performances free using unsold tickets from organizations like the Reds, Bengals, Symphony etc.
I cite these achievements to illustrate the great hope that comes from connecting older generations with the consistent brilliance of the millennial generation. It is this incredible humanitarian drive of many of these millennials that will ultimately lead us to a better world.
2
If carpe diem is loading and unloading the dishwasher, then maybe cancer really is the existential answer to the meaning of life. At least it gives us these memoirs.
(I say this as someone who has just been treated for high-risk prostate cancer.)
1
I went to college with Julie in the mid-1990's. I didn't know her well, but we had casual conversations at Baxter Hall over meals Freshman year and then randomly across the small campus that Williams College has. Though I never took the time to truly know her, I can say for certain that she was a Good person, someone who deeply cared about anything she set her mind to. She was both earnest and intense, never wavering in the sense of importance of that which she was focusing on. She certainly had a light in her, but like most high functioning people, it was focused and purposeful. I remember she had a playfulness about her that you didn't expect...she was always watching and thinking, and then darting in and out of a conversation with precise insights, never content to settle or rest on gentle comforts. Quite often she surprised, riled, and then carefully pulled back. There was never any mean intent, but a determination to get at the truth of a moment, a debate, or a critical thinking point. She was a great person to spar with and watch her mind work. She taught me a lot.
-Brian Mullin
24
What can I say. After reading this I want to get "more out of life" but, really, I don't know how. I would like to qui my job and enjoy "the things I want to do" but, even if I knew what they were, where will I get the money so that I can have the time to do that, if I don't keep my job. So, I read this, I weep for Julie, I weep for myself, and turn back to my computer to work.
10
@Ajs3 Maybe the "more" out of life that we seek doesn't require money or months of time. Maybe it starts by more closely observing the people around us, and possibly interacting with them more. There is a kid at a library who isn't so good with their math homework who needs help. There is an elderly neighbor who could use a smile and maybe a cup of coffee. There are all kinds of ways of finding the 'more'.
11
I knew her. This book is exactly what she wanted. And deserved. Courageous, that was Julie, though she would never think like that....
5
One of the nicest human beings I ever met was a woman in her 30’s, living from a box, an artificial heart device, in the hospital while awaiting a real living heart from someone so unsuspecting.
How could she be so nice I kept thinking. She had already lived through one transplant, and who knows when a second relief would come.
Can we ever understand unless we’re close?
9
This beautiful woman serves as a reminder that one's contributions to our collective consciousness are not determined by the number of years that we live but rather by how we live those years.
16
This is the kind of inspiring and life-affirming story I wish there was more of in our daily news cycle. A beautifully written and captivating book by a remarkable woman.
My favorite quote of Ms. Yip-Williams is what she said of her hopes for her children (in a CBS interview before her death):
`I want them to expect that no life is free of hardship. Embrace it and know that you will come out on the other side stronger.`
11
Sadly, many of us live this experience due to a terminal illness diagnosis. I have a stage IV cancer diagnosis and trying to live while dying is (I really don’t have the words) challenging, life-altering, poignant and at times exhausting. And honestly this is an experience that you can’t really understand unless you experience it, but maybe these books will give some insight and help to guide others on how to treat others with a terminal illness. I’m torn on reading this book as it may hit too close to home for me right now. What really helps me is appreciating every day life the best I can and being in the moment - easier said than done.
44
@Katy
You are thought of, you are loved, you will live forever in our hearts. Remember that.
37 years ago, I was given a terminal cancer diagnosis with a dozen specialists in NY, Chicago, Boston, and TX in agreement.
I remember calling friends and relatives, passing on my news, and telling them I wanted to go out to lunch with them before the end took place. The hopelessness that runs through a mind when faced with such news is indescribable.
Luckily, my father found the one doctor that felt there was a chance of curing me, and that combination of experimental drugs for one year, in 1982, worked. I will definitely read this book.
God bless Ms. Yip-Williams for writing her story.
23
I am grateful to her husband, friends, and family for encouraging her to share her story and for the gift of her writing and her courage. Her gifts will live and we are all the better for it.
"In the next galaxy, certain planets will have true blue skies."
Poet Ruth Stone
20
Wow! What a punch in the gut! Powerful stuff. Yes - TIME is THE MOST PRECIOUS ASSET! Forget money. Don't waste it!!
150
Not sure how the writer of this article could have omitted the recently published LETTERS FROM MAX: A book of friendship, co-authored by Sarah Ruhl and Max Ritvo, in citing books on this topic....
14
Bless this woman. Wherever she is now, bless her.
198
Have you read The Last Lecture by Randy Pausch? Important issues, these. Yes, living is a terminal condition. Sounds as though she did her best to squeeze out every last drop....
56
Ive heard this comment/exhortation before that we all better start living because we're all going to die. But what does that mean? Should I start flying around the world or what my Buddhist friends/teachers say. Live each moment with mindfulness and slow down. What do u think?
73
@James Schmittdiel
Listen to your Buddhist friends and teachers--live or attempt to live each moment with mindfulness, so that you will not regret the end of your life, be it long or short, because you will have been an active participant in it. Be present in the present. So often we miss the only moment we really have--thinking, planning, worrying about a future we have no guarantee of seeing. As for traveling, as much as I enjoy it, a wise man (my pastor husband) says you get to know all places well by knowing one place well. You get to know all men or women well by knowing one well (we've been married 52 years.) I am a cancer survivor; it's amazing how a death threat focused my mind. Other problems and petty irritations suddenly faded into insignificance or, rather, I wanted to live to deal with them in their proper perspective which I was then able to see.
Have I lapsed back into lackadaisical-ness? Yes. Once a threat passes, we (I) tend to revert to previous mode BUT not entirely. To really appreciate life in all its messy glory, we must keep a constant awareness of our impending death, and I do.
15
@James Schmittdiel live each moment with as much mindfulness, as present to being, as you can muster, whether you're flying around the world visiting whatever there is to visit or taking out the garbage. Life is always and only right now, and the opportunity to be present to the miraculous gift of life is always right there. And, in my experience, what a challenge that is. Good luck James!
6
For me, it is to live life with no regrets. If you died tomorrow, would the people you love know you loved them? Would the people who helped you realize your impact on them? Are there any major things you wanted to do you have not done? Do you stress over things that really would not matter in a year? Being in healthcare, I have learned a lot from my patients.
13
This brings to mind Emily's monologue from "Our Town"--
“Good-by, Good-by, world. Good-by, Grover's Corners... Mama and Papa. Good-by to clocks ticking... and Mama's sunflowers. And food and coffee. And new-ironed dresses and hot baths...and sleeping and waking up. Oh, earth, you're too wonderful for anybody to realize you.”
“EMILY: "Does anyone ever realize life while they live it...every, every minute?"
STAGE MANAGER: "No. Saints and poets maybe...they do some.”
306
I think of this and quote it so often. I find this scene to be one of the most poignant and moving pieces of art. I’m so glad someone else thinks of it too.
8
@TexasBee love that play...
6
@Jo Ann--My teenage grand kids put this play on at their school in October. My husband of 42 years had died in June. This monologue was particularly heart wrenching to watch because of that, but I'm so glad I attended the play.
7
As someone who somehow lived through melanoma and colorectal cancer, and watched both parents die from incurable, untreatable cancers, I appreciate her bravery. I understand her need to communicate. But I would rather never read or hear of another person’s dying journal. I fear it is of much more interest to the healthy than those of use who live with the spectre of this disease.
160
@Laura Borders No way - I live (and my partner lives with) serious mental illness, and the courage and wisdom shared in her diary is something I find very inspiring and powerfully motivating.
8
@Laura Borders, I agree. Thank you for stating your position so clearly.
3
I started reading Julie’s story on the web site entitled “Colon Talk,” and disovered one of the most exquisite writers that I have ever read. There are so many things I could write about this work, but my words could never adequately her heart-breaking story
Read this book. It will change your life.
100
@Banjokatt: Thank you! Will do.
1
I will read this book.
41
"She became a mother, cancer patient....writer." Please do not rob her of her personhood because she had cancer. She was a person with cancer not a cancer patient. As consumers of the medical system, it is incumbent on all of us to fight for our humanness as the medical system is programmed to rob us of being a person with a condition, an illness, a whatever. With the strength Ms. Yip-Williams demonstrated throughout her life, I would think it would be in her character to prefer that designation as a person with cancer.
95
@Janet As someone who has had cancer with recurrences, I really do not care whether I am referred to as a cancer patient or a person with cancer. I do not feel dehumanized in the least by the first designation -- how does "cancer patient" take away my humanity? And though I do not presume to judge whether Julie Yip-Williams would have preferred one label or another or neither or both, I am pretty sure she would rather have had more days than this semantic argument.
6
I’d say it would be in her character to urge we the living not to make such a big deal out of trivial semantics and just live life to the full no matter what names they call you!
2
Ms Gottlieb. I have read your columns in the Atlantic and the words you use and the way you say things at times makes me feel like I have received a body blow- because the truth hidden in your words strike at my core.
So I read your review with anticipation and I wasn’t disappointed. I would have liked more quotes from the author herself so that I could get to know her more intimately; but your comments moved me again. You are right when you say we can mindlessly stroll through twitter and move our goals to next year because we like to think we have all the time in the world- when in reality we don’t know how much time we have. I have read and been told so many times to make the most of my day- be present for loved ones, live mindfully and not to clutter my mind with vacuous thoughts that have no real impact on me. I shrug them off and say to myself ‘I will work on my internal to do list tomorrow.’ You gave me another body blow by implying in blunt language - are you sure there will be a tomorrow?
61
@Nina
Dear Nina, It may be wholly liberating to realize there WON'T be either a next year or a tomorrow or a later, for it is always now. I cannot remember a time when I didn't exist and have been living, not dying for 89 years, glad and grateful to love, care-for all who appear during this here-now shared with all beings and things which, so far, has been endless....
8
@Nina~ I have always found it a bit silly to "Live like there's no tomorrow". There likely WILL be a tomorrow, lots of them. It would exhausting to try and live that way. IF we knew there were not to be a tomorrow, then we could pour ourselves into it with everything we had ... but you cannot possibly do that EVERY day for years, decades or a century. Indeed who would even want to? Not me.
Do this: From time to time write your own obituary. Answer questions like "(s)he wished (s)he'd done the following: ..... (S)he hated that (s)he did this: ..... and more of the same. That will wake you up to what you 'ought' to be doing. And then decide if you're up to the task(s). Wait some time and then do it again. And again. If the same things keep popping up ... then you have your answers. No need to look any further.
3
What a beautiful story! She accomplishes more that most people without her health issues ever accomplish. What a beautiful woman.
39
@hettiemae ~ Indeed. Having life so exposed by knowing death is soon likely is a great motivator. Those who are super healthy don't have that. It's not good. It's not bad. It's just the way it is.
Near death experiences are a good thing for many -- it gave them some strong perspective.
I burst out in tears as soon as I read that the herbalist refused to execute Julie as an infant. So heartbreaking.
84
Very sad and beautiful
23
As Warren Zevon said “Enjoy every sandwich”. They are delicious.
116
Beautiful book review. I'm so glad a friend in my family posted your writing about her moving memoir.
You know a lot of angst over our extinction from climate destruction is really people wondering if they will be alone. You won't be alone.
Create your own memoir and write about your incredible journey. Part of waking up and having the gift of a long life is simply learning to appreciate every moment. At least we have wise teachers - some younger like Julie Yip-Williams to help free us from our fears and make our own deals.
Peace of wild beings to you
Tim Colman
Peace of wild beings to you.
17
This is a poignant description of a remarkable life and I look forward to reading this memoir.
I have a unique view of death, I suppose. I believe that the actual term is a misnomer as I do not believe we die, but transition. In my pantheon, and everyone will have their own to live by, we choose our life and our circumstances to gain the greatest growth for our spirits. We choose our parents, our family, our lovers, our children and when we have accomplished what we set out to do, we transition.
As nature is cyclical in her seasons, so are we. There are no guarantees that we are going to live to a good old age, as this article eloquently points out. Living well, loving well, living passionately, living our truth and our authenticity to the best of our abilities, is really all that matters. At least to me.
62
@Jennifer
I agree - transition is an appropriate word=
the word Death to most people means the end, it's over finished, nothing more.
yes it's frightening since we don't know what Death is like, what awaits us. and we can't control that. We have no choice.
but if we think in terms of it's just the body that gives up, the breath and heart stop but the flame that is the Spirit, the Soul. our Essence goes on and never dies perhaps we can be at peace with Death.
I too believe we choose our parents, friends etc. to learn from and love in this "life" -
Reading books from people who have witnessed death/on the other side and came back to describe their experiences (blissful, pure unconditional Love)
has helped me to overcome my fear.
As someone who has had cancer, I try to think in terms of being curious when the time comes and not being afraid.
Don't squander your time or your mind.
Be thankful and present in each precious moment we have in this Life and Love one another. Don't look back with regret, have fun, enjoy Life~
5
I would have loved to have met this person, if just for a few minutes. I will buy the book.
34
So true, how death galvanizes the best in us, a funnel and a sieve. When I had a hypochondriacs certainty that I had cancer , in 2010ish, I sat in my car for an hour before a dr appt , feeling poignantly LOVING towards all the people who had hurt me in my life. Those consigned to eternal banishment . All I wanted to say them in that moment was, " I'm sorry ! I'm not mad ! I love you !" - before that it seemed almost irresponsible to let them off the hook after maiming me in some way ...but as the spectre of departure loomed, my soul demanded one thing only;
I LOVE YOU !!!
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If the book is as good as this poignant review, it is a must read.
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Yesterday, at 57, I quit my career of several decades. After agonizing for months about whether I should continue to put up with the things at work that I, financially, don't have to, I took the plunge. It's kind of scary. There's a loss of external prestige and also a kind of "survivor's guilt" (why can I afford to have exactly the life I want, when so many people can't?). I have a second "dream" career in mind, but it's in the arts, which means I will likely fail. Still, I will enjoy the process of trying, and after reading about this book (and vowing to get it from the library), I'm glad I took the steps I just did.
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Asher Taite,
Best wishes to you in your pursuit of a career in the arts. As an artist myself I predict that you'll be a success. You are brave and wise (and it also sounds like you're motivated).
Success can be measured in many ways, not just with a high-paying prestigious career. If you're happy in your work you'll be a success.
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What's failure? If you are able to do what you enjoy that is a success. Don't go by someone else's notion of success, whether it is money, fame, etc. I work with elderly patients: they teach me a lot about life. We're all going to die just a question of where when how. Keep in mind humans only remember 0.000001% of all the humans who ever lived. Do you know who was the richest, most beautiful, or smartest humans in 1850s Paris? Almost all do not and yet they were renowned in their time. Even famous people's great great grand kids may not know much about them. Consider the poem Ozymandias.
Enjoy your seconds on this planet. If you can leave it or a person one iota better, that's an accomplishment.
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@Asher Taite great comment. I have survivor guilt from my previous job. I have a recurring dream where I beg for my old job back but there's only one position open, a new one: in-office barista. I don't know if I will ever recover.
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