What Driving Can Teach Us About Living

So, I’m the only reader who was totally put off by the abrupt ending. Wow. Never knew I was so unique.

Rachel Cusk is so good writer and so adept at describing the driving experience. I felt a strong connection to her perceptions as a driver and appreciate her perspectives.

Every time you get in your car and turn on the ignition, say a little prayer for future generations. Ask them to forgive you for what you are about to do: to burn up some more irreplaceable hydrocarbons and to add more carbon dioxide to the already overburdened atmosphere. Your driving, considered collectively, is a selfish act. If you must do it, and most of us must, then be humble and apologetic.

My high school driver's ed teacher from Westfield NJ without a doubt did the best job of passing along three key points to driving defensively that prove to be a metaphor for the bigger issues of life: Give and Take: You will mess things up if you don't read the behaviors of those around you. On and Gone: Pay attention to the person in front of you and make sure they are on and gone before you take your shot. Beware of the Johnny Come Lately: Put plenty of space between yourself and the driver who shows up outta nowhere and takes over. You know, like Trump.

Arguing that the elderly should continue to drive until their demise is completely bogus. In this day of the Uber and Lyft there is no compelling reason to permit a doddering person with or without demonstrable health issues, many of which are fatal in the elderly, to operate a motor vehicle. This is one of America's greatest examples of pandering to a demographic because who among our craven political class is advocating taking Grandma's license away at age 75? The human body is not devised to live forever and its faculties very obviously diminish with age, especially those vital to the safe operation of a motor vehicle. We must find a way, humane and comprehensive, to approach this intractable problem in our often dimwitted and backward society.

You lost me in the 6th paragraph, when you state that drivers who actually follow the rules of the road are "sanctimonious" people who are deliberately "distracting" and trying to "draw attention to themselves." That paragraph, along with your frightening experience when you rented a car, tells me that I never want to be on the same road as you. Do you really think that people who follow the rules are more dangerous than those who don't? And based on your car-rental description of the way you responded to other drivers, please don't ever drive again, anywhere.

May your travels be briefer and more purposeful than this article. And let the BMW drivers pass, only to be stuck behind another car, a few years further up the road.

Insightful and well written, but did she stop for wreck at end...

As an American driving last summer in England, I strongly identified with the notion that "I couldn’t get a sense of the shape and size of my vehicle, and the interface of the foreign motorway was at moments unintelligible." I should have taken the train.

What driving can teach us is that some people are selfish, reckless, and outright dangerous. Those who believe that all people are inherently good have blinders on. People have the capacity for good and evil. We need to encourage the good and punish the evil.

Having spent much of June and July in the British Isles, I found the "fast lane vs. slow lane" portion of the article to be contrary to my experience. Here on the Eastern Shore (DelMarVa) we take great delight in being what I call "left lane lounging lizards"; driving at exactly or slightly below the posted limit in the passing lane. On the "M" routes in England, to the contrary, I found the passing lane to be quickly and briefly occupied by most drivers. All in all, traffic seemed to flow much more freely and swiftly.

As a former Brit, I can empathize about the struggles of driving on overcrowded country lanes. What strikes me more are the incredible local variations of driving. I thought this article would discuss them, given the way it was framed by the editors. The most fascinating driving environment I know is Washington State, where I lived for many years. It has (or had) the most polite drivers in the US. My sister was visiting from Wales and, when two lanes reduced to one, she couldn’t believe how people would merge at the earliest possible time, leaving one lane open for those who are either in a real hurry, or those who want to brave the disapproval of the waiting drivers. In addition, there’s a law there that says a vehicle has to pull over if it is holding up more than 5 other vehicles. Such a law works well when you’re driving around the Olympic Peninsula or climbing into the Cascade Mountains and get behind a logging truck, but in more densely populated areas it might banish tractors and motor homes for good. And then there are the awful drivers here in Wisconsin where few have been outside the Midwest and so they don’t realize that you should stop for pedestrians on crossings. Whenever I return to the UK, I steel myself for the transition to driving on the wrong side of the road. I’m always struck, though, that Britain has such a low road traffic death rate. This essay shows us how, in a land where no simple laws will suffice, drivers have to become more thoughtful.

I'm out driving pretty much every day, and every day I see cars running red lights, ignoring stop signs, swerving across lanes while on the phone, speeding in parking lots, etc. And on the highway I see people who don't know how to pass or change lanes safely and who exit from the middle and left lanes. It's supposed to snow this week - can't wait (sarcastically stated). Driving is serious, but too many treat it casually. Wish there was a way to keep the innocent safe.

The ambiguity, subjectivity, and confusion with which it is written so well mirror what it is to be a human trying to get through life anywhere, no matter how much education and thoughtfulness with which we may be endowed, that I loved every word of it. A beautiful piece.

What ultimately is the only point of this article? I struggled to discern what the author was really writing about and why it belongs in the NYT.

A wonderful and thoughtful essay; writing such as this makes me glad to have subscribed to the New York Times.

Stay home. Problem solved.

That would never happen in America. We have eminent domain. So we would have, by now, torn up whatever obstacles to traffic flow that exist in these little towns, and the Devil take the hindmost.

Fascinating commentary.

I am the driver that gets angry when people drive slowly in the left lane, fail to use their signal or take their phone call more seriously then driving their vehicle. I rage and shout to nobodies detriment but my own. It's as if I'm personally offended that other drivers don't seem to know there are other drivers on the road with them. Despite efforts to curtail this behavior it usually raises it's ugly head eventually. I'm like Pavlov's dog when it comes to driving. It's my worst personal feature. My only remedy is to drive as little as possible, stay off highways and be a passenger as often as I can. I don't react when I'm a passenger for some reason. "Anger is the punishment we give ourselves for somebody else's mistake."

So many themes to be explored. What happens to our psychology, our relationships with each other when we don a several ton automobile like clothing? Is it hubris to travel faster than a human being can on legs or on a horse? is the automobile an example of our refusal to accept our mortal limitations? How do we destroy our world, the natural one and the social one by such self-insistence? ~beautifully written, thoughtful essay

The headline got my attention. And I was thinking this writer was going to talk about driving in India and in Mumbai in particular - and what it says about a society here. The headline aptly applied to folks in India - they value human life next to zero. I spend winters in Mumbai, India. I am pushing 70 and have never driven here not do I ever want to. For Indians driving s vehicle is still a big time status that tells the world they have arrived. Their very first act of driving is honking before they release the brakes to get moving. And keep honking as if the horn propels you. It's their way of telling - get out of my way. Just yesterday, my neighbor challenged me while I was crossing and he was driving. He was upset that I was crossing at this junction without ltraffic lights too slowly. He told me that it was his right to go first because he had arrived there first. And so, it goes here. Driving here tells me why India remains firmly in the third world where everyone is always trying to get ahead while breaking laws. Heck, some Bollywood celebrities are known to attack traffic police. Drunk drivers routinely get a slap on the wrist with a "firm" warning not to repeat. If folks cannot obey simple traffic rules or be vorteous to others on the road - to me, it says a whole lot about society. If traffic laws can be so easily trampled - what's the use of other laws to make a society civil??

The writer assumes a knowledge of what drivers are thinking and feeling, and in her mind, expressing through their driving. I'd have preferred fewer judgments and more facts based on the science and study of driving.

Good article, a little irrelevant at first with it's description of the English countryside, but more so as it related to their larger motorways, attitudes and anonymity. As a professional driver, I have been shocked by the actions of a small minority on our roads. Here in New England, it appears that there is no longer a speed limit on the Mass Pike and other Interstates, as well as parkways in CT and NYC. I want to drive in the left lane, too, but at the highest speed allowable, at a speed at which no other driver should be passing, except official vehicles. I have accepted the reality that the flow of traffic now proceeds at 75 mph. However, there's always someone who wants to drive a little bit (or a lot) faster - tailgating, weaving in an out and generally sticking out like a sore thumb. Where is the State Patrol? Also, the author is spot on about truck drivers. Most are courteous and safe (I have a CDL-A), but some are driving in a way that would have them fuming at a driver of a passenger vehicle who drove the same way not too long ago. OK, three more things: 1) stop rubbernecking when police are on the scene, in other words, curb your Schadenfreude, and 2) enforce signage including speed limits (or raise the speed limits) or pluck those metal eyesores out of the ground! Finally, don't tailgate! An opportunity to break or steer out of trouble will be greatly enhanced if you follow at a sane distance; conversely, don't cut into another driver's safe zone.

How to encourage more zen and less zoom on our highways? My response was extreme: to write a book (RoadWise). Perhaps the introduction is a useful expansion of Rachel Cusk's superb investigation. It begins: After 100 years on the highway, humanity is forgetting not only how utterly dangerous it is to drive, but also that our freedom to do so is unceasingly bonded with a responsibility to and respect for each other. At the core, driving safely must be a trust among us all. It must include neighborly recognition of how well we allow one another to move through our days -- going to work, rushing to a doctor, taking children to school, finding a new place to live, or simply rolling down the highway, enjoying the ride. It’s often a fine line that we cross without thinking: one moment we are driving safely, the next indulging in unnecessary and dangerous habits, ones we often ascribe only to others. We abandon caution for recklessness, respect for arrogance, consideration for presumption, and common sense for carelessness, each tradeoff risking a sudden end to our intended journey. We have become profoundly thoughtless on the road, indulging in numerous practices, some obvious, some subtle, which invite instant tragedy for others and ourselves. I Driving has become, in essence, a public right held too tightly and too carelessly in private thrall.

Riding a bike and walking definitely can help that same person when driving to slow down and consider the possibilities that others might need more space, patience, and respect. I strongly suggest everyone get out of their cars whenever possible and see what it’s like to ambulate or cycle amidst motorists. At the very least we would see a surge of popular support for sidewalks and protected bike lanes everywhere.

We’ll done and thanks in spite of my disagreements with some of your insights. Living on a coastal island as I do leads me to agree with most of your comments and adding to the mix we now have legalized road worthy golf carts slowing everyone. Oh well. My concern is the braking distance required for pickups and truck-based SUV’s. At 70mph most of those vehicles require 175-190 feet to stop. Do the math-do any of our drivers know that?(better designed and equipped cars require 150 feet +/-) I admit to being fearful to ride my bike outside my neighborhood despite the law that cars and bikes are required to share the road. Does anyone know that? Yes it is about how to live.

If we cannot go to mandatory bicycles, how about mandatory speed governors? For most short trips around town, a difference of 20 mph less does not drastically affect arrival time. But I bet it would decrease fatal accidents. By definition, it would give drivers more reaction time to unexpected events.

Driving reveals as much about ourselves as analysis - except that we rarely want to heed the messages. In the US for certain, in general people tend to react to another's drivers rudeness, or display of power, as if it was a personal affront. Someone who wrote about mindfulness and stress suggested using brake lights as a signal to remember to breathe and relaxed. Driving patterns reveal society norms, in terms of what behavior is tolerated, encouraged or frowned upon. On the whole - it is quite amazing that most people seem to drive pretty much by the rules of the road --- considering how little it takes to throw off traffic flow, or to set a drivers hair on end, there's still a lot of cooperation. The dead animals around here are mostly white tailed deer; occasionally smaller ones like opossums, whose instincts to hide doesn't serve any purpose in the roadway. And squirrels . Innumerable squirrels. There's an occasional crow or larger bird, such as a hawk - - I wonder if they get overconfident in their ability to fly off at the last moment as they clean up other road kill. A nice meditation on one of our most communal experiences.

Driving is essential for seniors only because the current crop of seniors refused to support public transport when they were in their prime. They didn't care about urban sprawl or the cost of providing parking spaces either, just about public transit. I've never drove due to an anxiety disorder and I don't feel bad about it. In 1918 it wasn't essential for life and it shouldn't be today. I'm also a lot fitter than most people my age from a lifetime of walking. I will never be an "age in place" big baby who can't do a thing without a car. I'm not scared of the big city, taking the subway and crowds. I'm never going to be driving with dementia or bad eyesight and I never will be isolated. I feel sorry for the seniors who care more about their driving then their health or their life. In my area we had a big hospital built in the outlying part of town just to have a giant parking lot, not to be near people. The seniors complain about the parking lot being too far to walk. The local bus has 3 stops, one on each corner of the building but none of them would ever think to use it. The bus, what is that? So sad.

I am still trying to wrap my mind around the concept of someone with children choosing not to drive so they more fully experience parenting, and presumably the children have more meaningful lives. A First World solution looking for a problem.

This is an incredibly nuanced look at a driving culture that is about to undergo fundamental change. Sheer gridlock will soon all but collapse the present day auto-centric system of transportation in many of our cities.

An enjoyable essay with many thought-provoking insights on most of the most common road misbehaviors, but I would have liked one more: how does one explain the driver who insists on maintaining a 70mph following distance while waiting in line at a stoplight?

Some of this sounds like texting behavior. Over the years I've noticed a large increase in erratic low-speed driving and cars sitting in odd places while running. It's extremely dangerous for pedestrians because the drivers are so unpredictable and they certainly aren't looking for anyone on foot.

I had to read the part about making a right hand turn, twice. Yes, and I had problems trying to catch a bus in England as I tend to wait on the wrong side of the rosd!

Beautifully written but I'd have liked to see a few facts in this. Like ones on how much of road rage can be explained by the ever increasing number of drivers on the nearly static mileage of American roads. The heavy traffic never stops. When I came of driving age in the mid 70s, night drives in my Philadelphia suburbs could be done with high beams on most of the way. That would be impossible now. You're a little hard on people who drive properly, calling them "sanctimonious." They may possibly be asking themselves a simple question I ask myself when driving: If I lived on this street, how fast would I want drivers to go? I've been driving like a geezer since 1975. I've never been in an accident and never had a speeding ticket. I've killed just one animal, a rabbit when I was 17, and I still feel bad about it and drive accordingly. My phone stays off or at home on every trip.

Interesting. I am always amused by people who sit cursing in a traffic jam, blaming others for their predicament. In Southern California hours are spent crawling along super highways alone, next to thousands of others who are also alone, going to essentially the same place. Cars isolate us, make us cyborgs of our own conceits. “The more you drive, the dumber you get.” -Repoman

When driving a car, the problem is not in the vehicle or the road, but in the knowledge and experience of the driver. More than 95% of road accidents are due to errors by road users, almost all of which are avoidable if the same users have a little more knowledge. Most drivers are unaware of the most frequent causes of road accidents, although they are well aware of almost all the causes: poor observation of the road scenario, increased driver reaction time, non-compliance with minimum safety distances, 3 times more accidents, than the excesses of speed, not always well controlled by the authorities, even in England. Also on the safest (usually the most efficient) procedures are the lack of knowledge of most drivers: good driving position, good handling of the steering wheel, correct adjustments of the mirrors, tire control... World institutions, the United Nations, the World Health Organization and others are failing in the global commitment to halve the number of road deaths on our planet. And the main reason is the poorly executed work to improve the skills of road users, to the detriment of the construction of major road projects and other infrastructure, as well as the call for the acquisition of new, supposedly safer vehicles. Unfortunately, this is a reality much overlooked by the great leaders, despite being the most preventable death of all, more than 1.35 million a year, which generates brutal costs of more than 1.85 trillion dollars, according to the World Bank.

The car, like the cellphone, texting, facebook, is another method of distancing one from another. Under the guise of connecting, the opposite is accomplished. Why is it when I'm being tailgated the other driver is an idiot in a rush, but when I am running behind, the person in front, more likely than not driving he lawful limit, is the idiot. Yup, everyone else but me. It is said people regress when behind the wheel; not reassuring. I know, as I approach 66 years (51 behind the wheel), I wonder what is the big rush! With exceptions in New England, the United States has been built around the car, quickly surpassing rail as the primary mode of transport. Yet, we have reached a population density, on our roads, affecting our airsheds, slaughtering our wildlife, pets, livestock, and humans, where the rugged individualism, independence (both myths, actually), are no longer justifiable to destroy our planet and each other. I do not believe driving is essential, nor should we test once at age 16 or 17 and somehow magically retain all driving knowledge for the next 60-70 years. The population of the US has doubled in my lifetime, and more than doubled on the road; 48 million vehicles in 1953, currently 264 million cars and light trucks. This increases now by an average of 4 million vehicles per year. We have run out of space and are running out of climate. It's not hopeless, but we all need to change; not just the other person.

I find it easier to keep my temper with other drivers if I ask myself why I would do what they are doing. Are they driving slowly because they're having trouble seeing? Looking for a turn? Car trouble? Did they forget their turn signal? Maybe it's been a hectic day and too many thoughts are going through their head. Maybe it''s just a momentary slip--I've had those. I stay calmer, my drive is more pleasant and I get where I'm going just fine. I also like to add a few extra minutes of time for my drive; that way a few seconds one way or the other won't stress me out. It's also useful for getting places on time when there's an unexpected delay for roadwork or an accident.

Very insightful article. Little did I know that slow drivers in the fast lane was not only a problem in the U.S., but elsewhere. And now what was intended to be the slow lane has switched functions w/ the fast. Never is a cop seen pulling over these slow drivers nor signs placed to suggest doing otherwise. Also, drivers getting as far to the right and going as slow as possible before turning left, and it always seems to be drivers of large SUV's. Hey, look at me, I want to be noticed!!

You have a terrific and wonderful power of observation and I do believe you must have driven in Florida.

In America, driving is essential, even for older people. When you drive up to most houses in America the first thing you see is the garage, which shows the importance of driving. I just recently moved from a rural area to a big city environment, what a difference. In the rural area if there was a car behind me that showed their urgency, I'll say, I would pull over as soon as possible to allow the driver to continue on, then I could resume my relaxing drive. There were times when I, too, had the urgency of driving, and was always amazed at the drivers who wouldn't allow my passing, thereby creating a hazard. In the big city I find the drivers hugging my bumper, as it were. Not that they were in anymore of a hurry than I, but that's the way they like to drive. When I learned to drive, 55 yrs ago, you allowed 1 car length for every 10 mph you were driving. That changed to a 3 second rule, i.e. the car in front of you is 3 seconds away. Lately it is a 2 second delay, if you can imagine, this combined with all of the driver's other distractions. I can only hope for good reflexes. I see so many drivers not wanting to get into the turning lane until the very last second. They must be very important people, or just rude drivers. Sadly, the later. Driving a car is NOT a mind numbing exercise, this is a potential life and death situation. Please drive carefully, and with consideration for your fellow driver. Your life, or someone else's, may depend on that consideration.

Beautifully written. A timely essay after living through the fury of holiday driving.

The key to driving safely in the United Kingdom is to understand that most of the driving there is cooperative between drivers - even really fast drivers will usually slow down to let a slower driver pass an even slower driver on a motorway. If it was not for cooperative driving, it would be impossible to get around northwest Scotland on single lane roads with bi-direction traffic, or an ancient town street with one of the narrow two lanes for two-way traffic completely filled with parked cars. In the United Stated, many drivers seem to think that their car, like their home, is their castle, and by extension they are the lord of the road they are on - an attitude that leads to aggressive driving with minimal attempt at cooperative driving. Thus, the key to driving safely in the United States is defensive driving with the assumption that other drivers will drive as if everyone else must yield to them. These differences between US and UK driving seem to reflect larger societal differences. In spite of a stubbornly persistent class system, in the UK there has been a strong communal sense that all its inhabitants have to work together to survive on its islands. In the US, rugged individualism, which is often needed for socio-economic success in the US, tends to be valued over cooperative communal skills.

Rules of the road are designed for the safety of all and everything that may come in contact with a moving vehicle. They go against the primeval desire of man to be able to propel itself with a velocity as close as possible to the speed of sound in the Earth's air.

Thank you, Ms Cusk, for another insightful essay. What you say of yourself is true: "I worry I don’t see things the way everyone else does, a quality that otherwise might be considered a strength." It is a strength, indeed. Your essay provokes in my own mind a comparison between driving and talking on cellphones, which nowadays often happen together. For me, the 3 banes of modern existence are cars, phones, and cameras. Having treated of cars, can you now bring your same revelatory analysis to phones and cameras?

As a non-driver: The author assumes that a car SHOULD be moving at a high rate of speed. But in most places if everyone drove at 20 mph (that's twice the average speed of a cyclist) they would still get the shopping done, still be able to pick up the kids, still get to the doctor. But they would cause far less havoc; kill far fewer creatures, four legged and two legged. And a smaller, much lighter weight and cleaner town/station car would become more feasible. Most of the trouble can be chalked up to the selfish willfulness of drivers. Like the one who killed my friend, Lauren