A Muslim Christmas Story

It is all too bad. I don't have those experiences. My neighbors were Jewish as were a few other families up and down the block and on the next blocks as well. We saw Jay's Dreidel and Jay and his sister Naomi saw our tree. It seemed normal at the time - ours was a street filled with college teachers, just a few blocks from a local teachers college. I wish that those who were not Christian could simply look upon Xmas as one would if one came upon a folks festival in a foreign land.

You really don't need religion to find your identity or be a good person. It's really sad to read about decent and open-minded people who define themselves with their parents's religion, just because that's how they grew up.

jewish christmas: chinese food and a movie. join us?

I was raised by a Hindu mother who loved Christmas, so my Hindu-Jewish household used to celebrate Christmas with gusto -- a lit tree, a wreath, porch lights, greens. Lately, however, the "Merry Christmas" mob mentality promoted by Bill O'Reilly's war on Christmas has taken the joy out of the season for me. We've gone from having all the decorations to none at all -- two years ago, my kids rejected the tree; last year, they rejected the wreath. To participate in "Merry Christmas" has come to mean something hostile and hateful. I'm afraid this means the Christmas warriors have won, but I don't think we can enjoy Christmas again until they go back to their caves.

Well I am a Christian Egyptian who was born and raised in Egypt in the 40s and 50s. My family was subjected to worse treatment there than Mr. Eldik alleges to have received here. America has been my home for the past 60 years. My encounters with discrimination have been few and far between. I am a proud American who loves and cherishes this country and have served it in uniform here and overseas.

Our house is mixed Hindu-Buddhist. Next door is "Chinese Traditional" (a category invented I think by Pew), the other side is Christian, 3 houses down is Sikh, across the street, Christian, next door to them, Jewish, around the corner Muslim, many of the rest are Christian. Almost all have lights, some, inflatables or lawn trees, people may or may not have decorated trees inside (we do). We have a tree and lights because we like lights and decorated trees. We wish people either what we know they prefer if we know or just Merry Christmas. It isn't that hard. Most of the world doesn't even require that people pick one religion and reject all others. If people ask, there are foods we don't eat. But they don't, because they know we are neither Jewish nor Muslim. If people pray, the noble silence works just fine. Merry Christmas, Ms. Eldik.

This Christmas I'll be thinking of and praying for the Christians persecuted in Palestine.

Trust me, your high school tormentors remember.

When, for most of my young life, we were the only Jewish family on our street, I know EXACTLY what the author was going through. I think I was 13 when a Jewish couple bought the raised ranch across the street. Later there were others but my siblings and I went through hell. Some of our neighbors were friends, others friendly, but others, who moved in long after we did, were dreadful. I think, perhaps, this is why so many Jewish and Muslim congregations have not just good, but really warm relations, because of a negative shared experience. When my dad was a child (he turned 5 in 1920), his block was made up of Jewish and Italian families, while the next block over was all Irish families. The simple dynamics of 1920's working class Brooklyn was like the Sharks & Jets. The Italian and Jewish kids stuck together mainly as safety in numbers against the kids on the next block, who would beat them up if they were caught alone. 30 years earlier, in the 1890's, it was no different. In the less funny parts of "Harpo Speaks", Harpo Marx told about identical experiences. What happened to the author was dreadful and, sadly, an American tradition that never seems to die.

As one of the few Jewish families in Fort Smith, AR, I feel this sort of problem when the Holidays come around. Everyone on my street has Christmas lights festooning their house, except for ours, which is dark. Despite the fact that I am a natural born citizen of the USA, that I am a taxpayer and teacher here, I feel like a second-class citizen during this time of year. Luckily for me, there is a large Asian community here, so I can find some Chinese food on Christmas day, but this can be disquieting too, for the only people eating Chinese food on that day are me and my family, and divorced men who eye us with frank hatred.

Lovely story for anyone who has ever felt an outsider or had a wise, wise mother

I guess we all love stories, as they define us, flaws and all, and find solace in solidarity, in spite of the intolerance of folks that might not know any better, having been indoctrinated to believe in their given religion...at the exclusion of all others. And taking the liberty (license, actually) to ridicule and insult you. Even in Muslim country you encounter, unfortunately, violent fanatics that may try to harm you if not adhering to their rigid code. Mind you, there is no intention to pick on your beliefs, or lack thereof, but religion has been, more often than not, an awful source of pain and suffering...instead of the joy we want by sharing our social needs. As an agnostic, I cannot imagine creating a God at our specifications, without him/her feeling insulted by our human cruelty and avarice. Besides, we human beings are just not smart enough to 'know' whether there is a deity or not. Meanwhile, shouldn't we try to get along? Life is just too short to fight each other about something we understand even less, especially if we consider that those that wrote the Bible and Koran were primitive, ignorant, and prejudiced men. Incidentally, did you notice that women seem absent in all this make-believe ritual, that it's all male-directed? How can that be, half the population of believers hidden from sight? If there is justice in all this, let alone love, I would like to hear about it.

I’m adding my thoughts and feelings to the Jewish commentators here: There are many ways to be Jewish. There are branches of Judaism as well. Many Jewish people attend synagogue for community and ritual, not necessarily belief, which is why attendance grows during the High holidays and Passover is the most widely observed Jewish holiday. You can apply the same feeling to Christmas, as I do. I love the twinkling lights as much as I love the glow of the Chanukah candles. I love the scent of pine as much as I love the aroma of latkes being fried. I love all the Christmas specials on TV, as much as I love singing the silly dreidel song. My faith is Judaism; I call myself an eclectic Jew. But that doesn’t negate my love for Christmas, or any holiday for that matter, that isn’t a part of my religion. I can sing “Oh come oh ye faithful,” and in my mind, God, if there is indeed a God, is the same God for all of us, no matter how we chose to worship. Is it a shanda (Yiddish for sin) to love Christmas? Do I think that God cares what I love as long as it isn’t harmful to others or to myself? So fa la la la to latkes and ho ho ho to whatever you love.

Very nice. Thank you. I'm sorry you were bullied by ignorant people. I've learned that the story of Jesus and Mary is even more interesting in the Qu'ran. For me the highlight is Mary, in labor, shaking fresh dates from a date palm with her back. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.

Blessings to you and kudos to your Mom. "Throw it behind you" has such resonant wisdom. That's the true spirit of a reflective spiritual season. Thanks, neighbor.

Your well-told Christmas story is lovelier than any holiday display and authentically sweeter than those red & green M&M's. It inspires me to tell one of mine. My brother and I are the offspring of a devout Catholic and a nominal Protestant. Already religiously confused children, we were happy to receive annual Hannukah gifts from the Leibowitz's, our next door neighbors. Despite the anti-semitism of our parents, we grew up believing Jews were just nice, nonconformist people who couldn't wait to open up their presents on Christmas. We therefore liked them. My first and favorite Christmas card to arrive always comes from my gay rabbi friend and his adorable husband. They send it during Hannukah, even though I've never remembered to reciprocate during their holidays. To this day, I still tend to think of Jews as a more tolerant, humorous and generous version of most people who label themselves Christians. Thanks to your story, and influenced by a charming Iraqi named Mohammed, I'm more than willing to extend this positive prejudice to Muslims. And I will try to practice more tolerance toward my Christian friends, red & green candy and all.

Jesus was a dusky- skinned dark-haired left-wing socialist community organizer revolutionary who was executed for his crimes. Jesus was born in spring as the lambs were born. Christmas was buried in a Roman winter festival for Saturn. Jesus was not a fair-skinned blue -eyed blonde gun toting, beer swilling tobacco chewing frisbee tossing, NASCAR watching American military service evading, white supremacist nationalist misogynist xenophobic capitalist male European American Judeo-Christian bigot. What's the matter with Christmas is too much love and worship of money along with too much human greed, hubris and pride. Too much St. Nicholas aka Santa Claus. Too little St. Peter and the Three Marys. Too much St. Paul and Martin Luther. See Matthew 25: 31-46.

I’m sorry your family had to live through the cruelty of your neighbors that you describe. How ironic, when you think of Christ’s message of compassion and “do onto others.” And what a loss for your neighbors not to partake of the sharing of the good food your family made, which is such a big part of Arab hospitality. I know about that from my own Syrian immigrant family. “Please, sit down and eat some olives!”

We need articles like this. Thank you. I believe we are stronger together and this story of tolerance in the face of bullying and the grace of acceptance/forgiveness is so powerful. In Cleveland we just produced a performance about "HOME" created by an ensemble of Muslims, Christians, and Druze. The play was in English and Arabic and it was a great kick off for the holiday season--reminding us all about unique traditions and the shared meaningfulness of home.

Sorry you experienced such bullies around this time. As a Jew I always was fairly neutral about Christmas, but grew up in a very Jewish area on the coast and always loved the lights. It was pretty lonely over the years as I traveled the country. I am now married to a non Jew and happily celebrate their very secular Christmas with them. My family celebrates Hanukkah and Christmas with gatherings of friends, Muslim included. Our house is full of lights. I think it is just the spirit of getting together and enjoying company or doing good works. If it wasn’t for the ridiculous ‘War on Christmas’ it would be perfect. As a Jew I am very aware that those whole notion is crazy in so many ways and that those are the very people ruining the spirit of the season.

Isn’t it clear by now that Christmas in America is a nearly secular holiday?! Blinking lights are not a celebration of Christianity...Anyone who wants can string lights on their houses without insulting their personal beliefs...Join in!

Not only Muslim families but all families who are not of the Christian religion will carry on in their own manner. Jews in NYC will dine out at Chinese restaurants, as will many all over the country. Hindus will follow their own customs. Those whose families resemble mine, a hodgepodge of Christian, Jewish, Hindu, atheist and agnostic, will also gather in their own way, mostly to honor our Christian relatives and because we have the day off work. Let us respect the customs of all and honor them when they are honorable. Peace on Earth!

What a lovely essay. Thank you for sharing your story of hope, love, and resilience. We desperately need this right now. Thank you.

You, Mr. Eldik, are what this country ought to be.

Well, I'm not a Muslim, but you won't find any Christmas trappings at my house. Maybe its because I don't have small children or maybe its because by Halloween I'm already sick of the Christmas junk in the stores, but I'm pretty well done with Christmas. Too much money, too much time, too much crazy. Having said that, I'm fine with everybody taking as much or a little as they want from 'their' holiday or anybody's holiday. The guy I knew who loved Christmas carols more that anybody else in the world was Jewish. He called them Winter Songs, but hey, he was happy.

You could do what American Jews have been doing for years on Christmas - go to a movie and then eat out at an Asian restaurant. Sometimes, we also help at a shelter or soup kitchen in the morning to help make a joyous holiday for those less fortunate. This situation is not new at all for Jews. It looks like we share our feeling of being left out with American Muslims, too.

I happened to be visiting India on Holi, and although not a Hindu, enjoyed participating in the celebrations, letting, no encouraging Indians to throw coloured powder at me. I was in Kerala, and in one majority Christian neighborhood, it was children who "attacked" me, the father trying to stop them as I was obviously a western tourist. I waved him away, it was fine, I said. One of them told me, "We're Christians, but..." Shrug. It did not stop the kids from enjoying themselves. Every culture has festivals, often originating in religion, but that do not require belief to enjoy, Xmas being the most popular around the world because the most enjoyable. If your beliefs forbid you from enjoying the non-religious aspects of your neighbours' festivals to which everyone is invited, who is being bigoted and non-inclusive?

Thanks for sharing. As a Jewish person the season is fraught for me. It helps to hear the experiences of others and know I'm in good company.

Thank you for this. My family were secular humanists and we didn’t really participate in Christmas. We had considerable experience with bullies though. This current “tribalism” is unsettling and is bullying on a greater scale.

I loved this piece and it’s message of we, and our lives, are what we make them to be - and also how what begins as a sad story of intolerance blossoms into an uplifting message. The only part I’ll never understand is the basic human compulsion to pick on others who are not the same as us. Our differences are what make us beautiful!

This daughter of an Egyptian immigrant father can identify with what it is to straddle two worlds. It feels especially harsh when you are growing up, as kids and teens tend to be intolerant of differences. I am glad that you came to be comfortable as yourself (as did I). Whatever faith one does or does not follow, maybe the Christmas story can remind us to be mindful of welcoming those who have been outcast and even rejected. Merry Christmas, everyone! Kol sana wentom tayibeen (many happy returns).

Growing up as a Jewish kid, I attended Jewish schools, had Jewish neighbors, lived in mostly Jewish areas. I always saw the decorations, thought they were pretty, and moved on. Now, as an adult, NOW is when I feel the outsider- when the office gets decorated, and the gifts starts coming in. On the upside, I know my boss relies on me to keep the office open On Christmas, an that gives me loads of " Brownie Points" with him. So I guess that is MY Christmas tradition! Happy holidays everyone!

As a Jew, I relate completely to what you wrote. Christmas is a lonely and sometimes strange day for Jews, as the rest of the world celebrates and you do not. However, I've always enjoyed Christmas movies, the smell of pine in the air and even some of the music. The Christmas season, this year, though, feels heavier knowing the tides of white (and largely Christian) supremacy are rising in this country, along with antisemitism and Islamophobia. It is more obvious that I am a minority-- an outsider-- for not believing in or celebrating this holiday. I've also started to notice the way people speak about non-christians with regard to christmas, i.e. 'how could my Jewish neighbor [a child] ruin Santa for my child' has tones of anti-semitism.. and does not consider how it feels to be the outsider. All of that said, I still appreciate the season, and my funny little non-Christian Christmas traditions.

Terrible that you and your family have had to endure what you have. God bless, Yaseen.

Although as a non-believer I do not celebrate the birth of Christ, I consider it my duty to give back to new generations the pleasure I got as a child from our neighbours' Xmas decorations. They made the season magical, and I feel the need to pay it forward. For the same reason that I give out candy at Halloween...

I am sorry that you were bullied and abused as a youth. I am reminded of a hymn sung at my mother's funeral: Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me.

Christmas is a bit of a bummer for Jewish families too, especially kids. But at least I grew up in a 99% Jewish suburb, so the pain was shared. My brother and I begged half-heartedly for a Christmas tree each year. We once got an improvised Hanukah bush. Well, childhood ends eventually.... I was tormented by my peers for nothing more than my family's decision to move in fifth grade. It hurt a lot and still stings a bit. A lot of kids are big meanies. Oh well.

As a middle aged, middle class, white, Republican, veteran, I'm both deeply touched (and more than a little embarrassed) by your story and glad you and your family are are our neighbors (however distant). And, for what it's worth, Merry Christmas, however you choose to observe it.

Christmas isn't shiny paper, tall trees and gifts we won't remember 10 years from now. They're the moments we share with family and friends. The heartfelt, little moments that pass so fleetingly that we only appear in them in hindsight. They almost become just as sacred as the actual events themselves. Precious memories indeed.

I grew up in a neighborhood where there were many families like us, Jewish. Obviously there was comfort in number, of families just like us, and no external means to distinguish us from any other Caucasian residents. Even though having an undecorated house wasn't an oddity; there still remained an outsider-ness feeling amidst the Christmas festivities. But- we did hand our stockings for Santa. My parents' post war (1950s and 1960s) logic was that Santa had become so devoid of religion and was so commercialized that they did not want my siblings and me to feel Santa did not like Jewish children. 15-20 years after WWII this was a true dilemma for them. We knew Santa was imaginary (in fact we were responsible for telling gentile classmates) but participation made us feel more included than not.

Thank you for sharing your story and as a Muslim-American, I can relate. Christmas is certainly a special time in a city like New York. It is only natural to get drawn into all the festivities. Tonight, we’ll be watching "It’s a Wonderful Life" and tomorrow, I plan to take my daughter to see the big tree. Merry Christmas to all who celebrate. God Bless.

I used to feel like an outsider every Christmas. This all changed when I started to wish my Christian friends & business associates Merry Christmas, it says I respect your beliefs, even though I don't share them. It goes a long way to breaking down the wall that separates us.

thank you for this wonderful read. I thoroughly enjoyed meeting your family. my experience as a Scottish immigrant in school here age 7 to high school was very similar until the bullies sat next to me copying my exam answers senior year.

I still count the houses that aren't decorated on my block, probably to reassure myself that we aren't the "only ones." Enjoy your ful medames. I can almost smell it!

New Christmas tradition at our house: Just printed out this column, laminated it to a piece of pretty holiday paper, and hung it up. We will read it every year to remind ourselves that the meaning of Christmas derives not only from this one day but from the way we treat our neighbors the other 364 days as well.

Something else Muslims and Jews share: my homes is conspicuous every December for the absence of lights and decorations, though we very much appreciate all the work our neighbors do to make the winter nights bright and beautiful.

Thank you for your painful and beautiful story. Believe me, from NH, until Barack Ohama was elected president, most of us naively did know there were SOO Many prejudiced people hiding away in this country. And until Trump, how deep the bigotry, xenophobia and chauvinism went. Wish we could apologize for all f them, but they wouldn't want me to, and itdoen't work that way. Our best to you, and what an example of strength, patience and understanding you are.

Incredible to me that that kind of thing goes on. It’s so sad that so many Americans are so sure that their way of life and beliefs are the only valid ones instead of realizing that there are so many different and intriquing cultures in the world. Of course, historically, we’re by no means the first culture with that problem. But in today’s world with so much communication you’d think we’d finally become less entrenched in our ignorant beliefs. Yaseen, can I come to your home for Christmas next year!?!

Human beings are hard-wired neurologically to be afraid of anybody who is different because they pose an emotional threat to our station in life. Kids are particularly susceptible to the need for maintaining approval and belonging to a group which prompts them to pick on outsiders. Cruelty is part of human nature just as much as love and fidelity. This is true the world over regardless of ethnicity, religion, geography, or education. This season's stories are fundamentally about forgiveness. We all need it because we have all bullied others or have silently consented to it. You show us that moving beyond resentment as an innocent victim heals yourself and others. You remind me that sometimes I am unkind and I hope that others forgive my weaknesses as well. Thanks for sharing.

Charming, insightful, touching, inspirational, dignified, and needed. Thank you.

Thank you for this. It opens the spirit of the season for all of us, regardless of religion, and helps us reconcile with each other.

Lovely. Thank you for this, on a day when we can all do a better job at embracing the true meaning of the season.