The Wine Thief

And I'm supposed to feel sorry for this guy why?

I knew Nick at Vassar. He was complicated. People usually are. He did have the stuffed animal, the BMW and the camel coat. He did want to "fit in," but so did we all. The description of Nick in this article, and the description of 1990's Vassar, are surprisingly and, to my mind, unfairly negative, especially when described by Mr. Bernstein, a fellow Vassar '90's grad who probably knew Nick personally.

I'm sure the moment he jumped he thought to himself "Uh oh. I should have just done my time and moved on with my life."

Mr. Bernstein, an intoxicating article that reads like a thriller. Well done!

I met Nicolas in August 2018 and stayed at his home twice. We became close and I won his trust and respect. I tried to show him the art of modest living, which he seemed to really appreciate. I got the feeling here was a boy pretty much misguided by his upbringing, depressed and sort of lost. He sent me cryptic messages the last hour of his life that I might have been provided the context for but wasn't. I do not buy the smile-and-jump story. Nicolas sent me a song called 'Condition: Critical' sixteen minutes before his death, after I'd asked him whether I had appeared in his life too late, or just in time. I'd repeatedly told him how I loved him naked and vulnerable, and there he was, waiting for my response. I was two minutes late. Not sure how I'd feel having strangers break down my door in such an intimate state, for all I care he may have simply been scared off balance. Or was he actually aiming for the balcony that split him in two? He may have placed himself in this particular situation, but I believe part of him really wanted to be saved. He'd asked me several times. Literally. His death may have been surreal, the real absurdity started after he died. I was banned from the obituary (for which a 20-year old photo was used) for painting an all-too-complete picture of Nicolas, and not allowed any information regarding his cremation. This should provide some insight as to his upbringing, a world of appearance that part of him was desperate to break free from.

Why in heaven's name did he confess so prematurely? That was so purposely destructive! It seemed like such an empty life, void of any real meaning or need for accomplishment. And how gauche prison would be!

So the “victim” is the ultra-hip DJ Bankster, spared from his own well-earned jail cell, who accumulated much more expensive wine than any over-indulgent functioning human could possibly imbibe. The avarice here begins with him. Wonder if club drugs played any role in their relationship and not noticing $150K worth of vintage had gone missing. Sad.

So much drama over grape juice. The rich man had more than he could drink. The thief and the buyers and sellers along the way were just making money not enjoying the wine. Is wine really worth this much fetishizing? If you like wine, buy a bottle and drink it. Don’t hoard it, profiteer or kill yourself, it’s just a beverage.

Jacob was in Nick's class at Vassar and should have disclosed this in the article.

This makes me extremely sad. We all develop strategies to soothe whatever trauma is inflicted upon us. Drugs, alcohol and sex are the primary methods, but only because they are easier to moralize. More "accepted" strategies are the drives for success, wealth, and power, although those are no more successful in filling the hole trauma creates (exhibit 1: Donald J Trump). This sad, poor young man falls somewhere in-between. And as entertaining as this article is, it leaves me a little sick.

Sounds like a "$3 dollar phony," to me.

I have read that a smile without one's eyes crinkling is a false smile. Try it. If your smile is honest your eyes crinkle and people may warm to you. It's what I see in two photos here. It's not a big sampling here, but of the grifters I have known I have seen it used to effect. Here is someone who seemed to live the good ( and fast ) life while trying to escape some inner turmoil. Who really understands the thread of another's life ?

He was a wannabe, a common ordinary criminal, a thief, a liar, a fraud, pretentious by default, self centered, and a sociopath...and because he is White, he is granted this elaborate telescope into his pathetic life, with a wink and a grin. If he were a person of color, he'd be behind bars and all those people he rubbed shoulders with, went to school with, worked for and pretended to be, would have been wagging their fingers and chastising THOSE people for "trying to cheat the system" I think that's what "they" call it. Those people in glass houses.

Typical grifter, he would have gone far in the Trump adminstration . . . perhaps even Chief of Staff.

The obscenity to me is that the CEO of Goldman Sachs can have over 1 million dollars of wine stolen ….. and not notice.

"a haven for worldly artistic kids who were too urban for Kenyon and Oberlin but didn’t have the grades or scores for Brown or Yale. What students at Vassar lacked in drive, they made up for in black eyeliner." Did Bernstein not get into Vassar? What a snotty snoot!

An Andrew Cunanan in the making.

Why does this remind us of Versace's assassin?

While well-written, and thoughtful in places, there are numerous things I object to with this article, but chiefly amongst them is a question for the New York Times and Jacob Bernstein - oughtn’t you disclose that you were a classmate of Nick’s and that you knew those you were interviewing?

Informative and well-constructed, but not really illuminating.

“avaricious class aspirational indentured servitude” is my new band name.

He has all the classic hallmarks of the typical con artist, and somehow because his mark was wealthy, he’s quite possibly a good guy? This peculiar angle shows strange and shocking bias. Con artists hurt the rich and poor alike, and the American voters,too. Compulsive liars are always a problem, no matter whom they lie to. Years ago, we had a babysitter to whom our young children were deeply attached. We paid her very well, but she suddenly abandoned our family (devastating our 3 year old to whom we could not explain what happened). She abandoned us for a richer family with a wine cellar— she said the wine cellar was of particular interest to her because she could put on her resume that she had experience managing a wine collection. I begged her to reconsider, I offered her a substantial bonus to stay and warned her she didn’t want to be caught up in a world of conspicuous wealth, that she needed to stay grounded — but she was too fascinated by the appearance of status and instantly shut out our kids whom she had helped raise. The biggest loser in the whole scenario was our sweet and vulnerable toddler (who is now nine and still wonders what happened.) Please, let’s not romanticize the cold-eyed, status-obsessed social climber. There is NOTHING good or charming about this kind of person.

"people would have embraced him because the whole city operates on avaricious class aspirational indentured servitude" it shouldn't be true. regrettably it is (sometimes) true. there is a grifter like this i ran into out west, constantly spinning stories of his family legacy (partly based on truth), constantly scamming people into paying for things, constantly luring new people into his orbit with the promise of something edgy, on the high side, and famous. some people eventually see through him and sever ties with disgust. it doesn't matter: new gullible people move right in to take their place, hoping for a taste of what was promised that never was real. (one lady risked her marriage and children and still didn't want to come to her senses.) in between there is rage, guilt, and promises of chaos, harm, and self-harm. when you've been run through the rails by one of these types you have to question your own judgment. i hope David Solomon does, because Goldman Sachs owes the public better.

It's a tragedy. He should have owned up to what he did, served his time - no more than 18 months, with good behavior, and then rebuild his life. Very sad.

Poor guy was way more boring than he assumed he was.

How can anyone even think of referring to this person as a 'hero' - he was a thief. And Mr. Corcoran ("... people would have embraced him...") and Mr. Windsor's ("...the beginning of something far greater.") statements are, in my opinion, delusional.

to "...charming and elusive.." Mr. Windsor can add "phony, shallow and deceitful."

“Mr. Fitzpatrick, who Mr. DeMeyer mistreated all those years before, mostly agreed.” Alas, the objective case pronoun “whom” has gone the way of honesty and integrity in public life!

An amusing, albeit sad, story of a gay grifter that shines an unflattering light on the shady world of parasites of the upper class. The ending left me both glad for the brief but bright life of this young fraud as well as nauseous at the thought that so many people lead such meaningless but flashy lives. His life was certainly in the mold of Ripley but without so much success and intrigue. My heart goes out to his mother who certainly didn't deserve to lose her son over a few bottles of expensive wine. It makes me wonder if there was some other long-term handicap that would keep this young man from finding happiness. Suicide is the refuge of desperate fools (I know from experience). Don't romanticize it.

He was a thief- plain and simple. If you can't do the time , don't the crime. No sympathy here. Whatever happened to the world of "I will not lie, cheat or steal or tolerate those who do". When we get back to that maybe society will be better.

So, because this 40-year old man “had no Facebook, Instagram or Twitter account”, he “always seemed to be hiding something.”? We indeed live in a strange world.

This also highlights the elaborate coping and adaptation strategies that gay men develop to survive and cope with the unbearable emotional pain and loneliness of feeling that they are unworthy of love- a feeling that was wired in them by family and society from birth - aka the trauma of growing up gay. Suicide is tragic and my heart goes out to his family and friends.

The world is full of characters like him. He just got more luminosity than most. There are lots of quiet unassuming people who live their lives humbly and endeavor. Guess which one of the two is more content?

Why give light to a story like this in the bleakness of winter. It does little other than highlight DeMeyer's suicide. By contrast, the feature on Eddie Tipton cracking the lottery was a multilayered gripping read.