This piece makes an excellent point—if we want to reduce recidivism, we need to understand the role that family plays in incarceration. When these mothers saw their kids, it only helped them further to try to get sober.
Many want to condemn them, but that does nothing to reduce crime and addiction. The children shouldn’t have to suffer more.
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Very compelling piece that highlights what often gets overlooked in these conversations—the children. They are innocent in all of this. They should still be allowed contact with their parents in a safe setting.
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Read Rachel Kushner’s “The Mars Room” for a painfully human take on this issue.
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RE: the majority for nonviolent drug or property offenses
The liberals gloss over "nonviolent" drug offenses. Anyone who supports the illicit drug industry is helping finance violence.
Drug gangs murder law enforcement personnel and sell drugs to children. And property crimes are glossed over as well. Have your home burglarized or you car stolen then get back to us on these crimes.
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You missed the entire point. The children are innocent in all of this. Regardless of what you the of their parents, they deserve to have a visit with their parents in a safe place.
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@Reader In Wash, DC And you and your conservative cohorts are "glossing"over the fact that this was about innocent children...they deserve to still see their parents. They should not have to further punished and denied contact.
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The impulse to punish for crimes is natural. When children misbehave they get punished. It’s normal to want to remedy a wrong by creating a cost. However, the punishment is not the end goal. The punishment is a means to an end; That being that the child learn from his or her mistakes thereby deterring them from repeating that behavior again. We do this by explaining the bad behavior and modeling good behavior.
In our justice system the emphasis is on punishment and much less on education and rehabilitation. In addition to that, we permanently mark the convicted with a scarlet letter that prevents them from reintegrated into society by forcing them to report previous convictions on job applications, housing and public service and benefits forms. This creates a permanent caste of second tier citizens isolated from the larger society and with limited economic opportunities. What does this lead to? Recidivism! More crime! More violence! More desperation!
Justice is punishment for a wrong. It’s also correcting the problems to prevent further wrongs. For the children of the incarcerated, they are 5-10 ten times more likely to end up incarcerated themselves. Not because of some genetic predisposition but because poverty and familial instability lead to poor outcomes. To prevent future crimes and to promote a healthier and more equitable society we need to think bigger than just punishment but rather complete solutions
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Prison should be reserved for people who are a threat to others.
The legitimate purpose of the criminal justice system is to protect people from each other.
The criminal justice system should not be in the business of protecting people from themselves.
But drug treatment should be available to anyone who needs it, offered in a treatment setting, not a prison.
Politicians and government officials have conditioned Americans to believe it is normal and desirable to incarcerate people as a means of social control.
This is no doubt motivated by the financial incentives involved in the BUSINESS of incarcerating and punishing people.
The symbiotic relationship between government contractors, people employed in the prison industry and politicians is nauseating.
Securus Technologies has issued press releases bragging about having paid out over a billion dollars in “commissions” (kickbacks) to politicians and people employed in the criminal justice system to “improve their lives.”
Nonsense. These “commissions” help to assure their continued acquiescence to a shameful system.
America is a vicious, violent nation that monetizes and preys upon its most vulnerable citizens.
Our drug crisis, the dramatic increase in the suicide rate, and president Trump are all symptoms of a society in decline due to our perverted policies and values.
If we want to alleviate these symptoms, we must change our mentality.
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Thanks to the Times for putting a spotlight on this issue. One of many outrages of our criminal justice system; the root of all evil in this country. Consider all the lives destroyed, the children grown up without parents, because of antiquated drug laws.
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Assuming that raising kids isn’t really women’s work, what efforts are there to allow incarcerated dads to play with their kids at children’s museums?
Why do ppl feel the need to come on every comment thread and do “what aboutism”....the point of THIS piece was talking about mothers and these programs. I have read many pieces on incarcerated fathers.
Nobody suggested dads shouldn’t have visits. Literally nobody.
You missed the entire point of this specific article.
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Hank you missed the point of my entire comment.
My question remains.
@markshumate
Nope. I know what your question was, but this piece wasn’t focused on that.
It was about incarcerated mothers. There are many programs that support dads seeing their kids in prison (as there should be), but that wasn’t the focus of THIS specific article.
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It is a great injustice to keep children from their mother.
Regardless of what they did to end up in jail, children shouldn’t suffer even more because of it. As the mothers in this article pointed out, when they saw their kids it gave them hope and inspired them to continue to try and work to get sober.
Family visits have been proven to lower recidivism and mitigate some of the separation trauma, we need to see more of these kinds of programs. It doesn’t fix everything, but it is a start.
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Great piece. Some focus so much on shaming these mothers..and forget the kids are innocent in all of this. They absolutely deserve to see their mom in a child friendly, safe, comfortable environment. I hope this kind of program expands to other places.
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Excellent piece. For those who judge these incarcerated parents—children are innocent and they deserve to see their family.
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As a attorney representing kids in family court, thank you for this article! These types of programs and visits are sorely needed—children shouldn’t be denied access to their parents.
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I find if very difficult to muster sympathy for from criminals, too many others much more deserving....
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@There Except that innocent children are "deserving"...they deserve to not be traumatized even more by being denied visits with their parents...they deserve to be able to see their mother in a safer environment. Regardless of what you think of their parents, the kids should not be forced to suffer any more then they already have. And most of these mothers are there for non-violent drug offenses, they are not hardened criminals Recovery and redemption are possible.
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You missed the point. It wasn’t about “sympathy” for criminals...it was about the innocent children caught up in this. They should not have to suffer or go to an unsafe setting to have a family visit. Also, recovery and redemption is possible. If you stigmatized people forever, esp these non violent offenders, then the high recidivism rate just continues...and continues.
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As another person on here said, I can’t think of anyone more “deserving” then innocent kids...they deserve to see their parents.
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Trying to to normalize an over incarcerated society by these kind of fixes misses the point. Let's stop putting predominantly people of color in jail for mostly victimless crimes and put far more money into strong social safety nets. Yeah, I know, will never happen in this racist and classist capitalist free fire zone , but it has to be said, has to be faught.
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@Rickibobbi Yes, the problem is much bigger then just this, but no one was "normalizing" anything....we are simply saying that these visits are necessary and can potentially mitigate some of the separation trauma. No, it does not solve the deeper issues of incarceration--it is not being presented a magical solution, but it is still worth doing, it still helps these kids.
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No one was “normalizing” anything here....no, these types of programs won’t fix the deeper problem of mass incarceration, but it is still necessary to do. These kids deserve to see their parents.
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This wasn’t about “normalizing” anything...it was about providing a safe setting for children to see their parents. No, it doesn’t “fix” the deeper problem, but it does allow them to see their parents in a safer, child centered environment.
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Two and a half years for drug possession for Saunders? Years bouncing between jails for Perry because the law did not treat her medically prescribed methadone differently from the opiates she was addicted to? Pardon me but how the heck is this justice? The injustice is amplified and carried by their children, and others’ children, who are torn from their parents and forced into foster care. The emotional and social costs of locking many of these women up is the opposite of justice.
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Thank you, NYT and Ms. Valencia, for this thoughtful piece. I have had many friends who have struggled with addiction and have been separated from their kids, some in jail and some in rehab. The outcome for the family and the inmate are ALWAYS better when there is contact and children can see their parents. Kuddo to this amazing program.
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I really loved this piece. I work for a non-profit that helps preserve family connections and these visitation programs are sorely needed. I loved the stories presented in the piece, it really showed the struggle these mothers go through. Thank you for this.
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While programs of family preservation for incarcerated adults would represent progress in reforming the criminal justice system and preserving human rights, there are several things about these programs that confuse me.
First, the plainly obvious fact that we seldom if ever consider undertaking these programs for men.
Second, the documented fact that thousands of children have been separated from parents--and even adopted out permanently--for no greater offense than parental poverty.
Third, the first-impulse action of many child protection agencies is to place children in foster care.
Therefore, should I be looking for any vestige of discrimination in these prison programs, when many people who have committed no crime have their basic human rights violated and are treated ruthlessly? Also, if living in poverty is child abuse, then why isn't exposing children to social groups consisting of criminals the same?
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You are conflating several different issues here.
In this case, these are mothers who are largely incarcerated due to drug possession, this was not a commentary on all of the reasons a child may be separated from their mother. It also isn’t suggesting fathers don’t have visits, it was simply an article about mothers. There are many about incarcerated fathers. It isn’t one or the other.
As a child who had an incarcerated mother, I would have been very happy to have a chance to see my mom in a children’s museum and be able to really connect with her in a safer environment. That was the point here, we can do better and provide a safer setting for these children.
Your assertion that children are removed because of poverty is a broad statement—I say this as a child who was separated from their mom and did live (as a child) in poverty. But we were removed because we were neglected by my mom—her drug abuse was so severe at that point that she could not care for us. Should the state have left us there? No.
The first “impulse” as you say to throw kids in foster care is also not always true. They searched and searched for a family member to take us in, but there was no one. It is required in most states to look for family members first.
I don’t dispute, AT ALL, that poverty plays a big role in how people are treated, but having grown up in the system.. and now I work in it as an attorney representing children, these issue are far more nuanced then your comment suggests.
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@William
In a way, though, it is the poverty that leads to the children being taken away from parents. The wealthy abuse drugs, too. I write this only from observation, but it seems as though they are incarcerated and lose custody of their children over the drugs far less often.
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Yes, poverty plays a large role in so many things...I am simply pointing out that the issues are far more nuanced then just saying they want to throw kids in foster care.
State agencies do attempt to locate family members first and if there are none then the children go into placement. Having been through it and now working in it, the very first question I get and check for on each case is if a stable family member could be located.
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I really appreciate this piece. Many years ago I worked with a family where the mother was incarcerated. The children asked all the time about seeing her. Visit days were only once a week, kids waited in line for hours, went through all kinds of security and then only got to see them for 45 minutes. It was dehumanizing for these little ones to go through that. I love this museum program and hope to see more of this. Family connections matter.
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Great article. I hope to see more of these types of programs. The article also makes an excellent point on the financial challenges many families experience when they want to visit an inmate and how challenging it is for them. Thank you for focusing on this issue, Well Family.
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Physical touch and interaction of imprisoned mothers with their children sounds like a good and rational practice. What about male inmates as well? Many male inmates and their families are traumatized by incarceration separation as well. Changed protocols and outside visits such as the museum visits described here should be offered to all qualifying inmates and families, regardless of gender.
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Hi, nobody is saying that incarcerated father’s shouldn’t have these visits as well, but they were just speaking to the fact that the overwhelming majority of these mothers were the primary caregiver for their kids before they went to jail, so the issues of who will take custody of them when they are gone is very prevalent and keeping contact with their mom is essential. This piece may be focused on incarcerated mothers, there are many I have read that focus on the fathers experience as well. Hopefully, we will see these kinds of programs expand to other states and other parts of NY.
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Great concept but who pays the added costs?
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@David Anderson The taxpayers. A better solution for society is not to normalize prison for non-violent behavior (e.g. "drug possession"), but to use other punishments (or in some cases not even focus on punishment) that don't disrupt innocent family member's lives.
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@David Anderson In this case the museum very likely covers some of the costs for the activities and supplies. They fundraise and receive private donations to help run many of their very worthwhile programs.
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@David Anderson
seriously?
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As a child, I was forced to live away from my mother for eight years. She imprisoned me in orphanages, foster homes and a private school so that she could work. The same abandonment hits rich kids, too, who are likewise separated from their parents in boarding schools. This is the untold story of the Trumps, the Bushes,...childhood for them, too, was lonely and needing approval as adults, especially Donald John.
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Excellent article. Motherhood doesn’t end because they are incarcerated. Children should be able to see their parents in a safe, supportive setting.
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Powerful piece. Children are innocent in all of this and should not be denied contact with their mother. Safer, more child friendly visits is imperative.
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It’s part of a much larger problem with corrections: when you punish an individual, you punish a family. He or she may “deserve” it, but they don’t.
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This piece really touched me. I represented several incarcerated mothers in the past, those were the hardest cases. Knowing children would be separated from their mom was soul crushing. Thank you for this thoughtful, compassionate piece.
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This article really touched me. Thinking of parents forced to see their kids behind a window or only over a video chat is cruel. Thank you, Misha Valencia, for writing such a poignant piece on such an important issue.
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@Stella Maleni
RE: Thinking of parents forced to see their kids behind a window or only over a video chat is cruel.
The parents were not forced. They chose to be criminals.
@Reader In Wash, DC Nope. Drug addiction is way more complicated and nuanced then your trite response. Does a person choose to get cancer? NO. Addiction is also a disease.
And you so conveniently forget that this is about the children--who deserve to still see their mom.
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@Reader In Wash, DC
And? Your "point" is irrelevant--this was about the CHILDREN. It is cruel to make them to see their parents like that. They should not be further punished. They deserve to see their mom is a safe place.
If they choose to be "criminals" then you are choosing to be willfully ignorant of the impact on kids having to see their mom behind a plexiglass window.
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Excellent article. The trauma of being separated from a parent is very real. We must do whatever we can to heal this. Children deserve better then seeing their mom through a plexiglass window.
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I really appreciated this piece. Instead of just a bunch of stats, it let these mothers stories speak for themselves. Courtney and Meghann’s stories were very powerful and heartbreaking.
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Loved this piece. Very touching and powerful. We must recognize the importance of children being able to see their incarcerated mother, family matters.
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I also wanted to add that for those who have had an incarcerated loved one, they know how incredibly hard it is for children to navigate these situations, having a program like the one at the CMOM is a game changer. It allows kids to feel safe and parents to connect with them. Hope to see more of this in other states and in other parts of NY.
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Having had family spend extend time in prison throughout my youth this article has particular relevance to my experience. Some of my relatives who were incarcerated spent years in federal prisons as far as Georgia. Planning a trip to visit them was perversely like planning a vacation. With maps and hotel rooms booked and organized along with bags for over night stays. It’s surreal to think of the effort required vs the hour or so spent during the visit. So much money and time was devoted to such a brief and traumatizing experience. What stands out to me from my recollections was the unspoken threat of danger implied by the artifacts of imprisonment; guard towers, tall and imposing barb wire fences, armed guards and thick concrete walls, bars for doors and orange jump suits. I remember feeling guilty by association for having and knowing incarcerated family. I don’t think my experience is unique nor do I think it was necessary. If the goal is to prevent crime and reduce the prison population then we need to rethink what a prison is and what its role should be in the larger society. Are they warehouses for the convicted or are they institutions of education and reform that prepare individuals to rejoin society in a healthy and productive way that benefits everyone?
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@Marco Valencia Thank you for sharing!
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Where I live, prison is to stare at the walls and contemplate the poor choices that brought you there. Missing your kids? Shouldn't have done x,y or z. Lose parental rights? Why weren't you thinking about that before decide to do x?
Any rehabilitation of any sort is on you once you are out. True rehabilitation efforts are doled out in dibs and dabs to keep prison reformers at bay.
The prison system is nasty for fathers, so I'm surprised anyone reading the article who be shocked mothers access to children would be any different. How many men at Rikers, doing time for low level drug offenses, would love to see their children?
Until society's attitude toward incarceration changes from let them think, rot and sort themselves after release, to how can we keep parents (fathers and mothers) involved with their children and keep some sort of family unit going, nothing is going to change. There will be little pockets of good programs here and there, while the rest of the prison population watches their bonds with their kids disappear.
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I don’t think anyone is “shocked” by this at all. We are just glad to see some programs aimed at letting let these children see their moms in a safer setting. No, it doesn’t solve the deeper problem, but it’s still worth doing.
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For anyone interested in gaining some insight into what a child with a mom in prison might experience, I would like to recommend a wonderful realistic fiction book, called: Ruby On The Outside, by Nora Raleigh Baskin. Kirkus review: "Ruby’s most prominent concern is her need to keep the truth about her mom secret...Ruby has kept her life compartmentalized, establishing a strong distinction between the “outside world” and her “inside world.”... A deeply compassionate exploration of an experience underrepresented in children’s literature but overrepresented in the real world. (Fiction. 10-14)" Though this is a middle-grade book, I would recommend it for anyone who would like to take an empathetic step into the shoes of a child with a mom in prison.
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This is such an important issue to discuss, very happy to see it in the NYT. I worked with incarcerated non violent mothers in a state prison and when they had contact with their family and were able to see their children, it dramatically improved their outlook and hope for when they were released. Meghanns story really touched me.
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Excellent piece. Courtney and Meghann's stories really touched me. I loved hearing about the museum program and would love to see this type of program begin in other states as well. Mothers and children should have contact with each other as much as possible to help mitigate some of the profound trauma of separation.
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This piece really touched me...having had incarcerated family members, I know how painful it was for them to be separated from their children, regardless of the circumstances that caused them to be in jail. I appreciate the writer sharing these mothers experiences and speaking about the families without the undertones of judgement and scorn. Ms Valencia also makes a really important (and often overlooked point) about how challenging it can be for families to get to the prison where their loved ones are. Thank you for writing this.
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Very thoughtful piece. It is time we recognize the importance of family connections and what happens to the children left behind. Meghann's story was really a powerful reminder that recovery is possible. Glad to see this up in Well.
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This is a really powerful piece. Years ago I worked for a non profit agency and took a small child to see his mother in prison. It was an experience I never forgot and I kept thinking "there has to be a way to do this better"...having these kids see their parents outside of the prison, like the museum program mentioned here, is an incredible idea and really promotes healing. Thank you, Ms. Valencia, for writing this. I hope to see more on this important issue.
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Great piece. I loved the stories that were featured. Meghann's experience really shows how hard many mothers fight to reunify. As a retired journalist, I remember the days when nobody wanted to cover these kinds of issues, very glad to see this up in the NYT.
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Very glad to see the NYT cover this. I have worked with incarcerated mothers and when they have contact with their family, it changes everything. Thank you, Ms. Valencia, for bringing attention to this.
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First lady McCray would be well-served to include the non-profit, Hour Children in her work connecting incarcerated mothers and their children. Hour Children has experience that would be invaluable, they have been doing this work for over 25 years and they are right here in NYC!
Additionally, I do want to acknowledge how this article, by Misha Valencia, used humanizing language. Unfortunately, this is too often the exception, not the rule. So I would like to acknowledge it and have it noted that it was truly appreciated
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@Jill Becker: Just wanted to add that if anyone wanted to take an empathetic walk in a child of an incarcerated mom's shoes, I highly recommend the realistic fiction book: Ruby On The Outside, by Nora Raleigh Baskin.
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Thoughtful piece, but it omits discussion of Hour Children, led by Sister Tesa Fitzgerald. HC has been helping NYC children stay connected to their incarcerated mothers for 20 years and supports these families as the mother adjusts to post prison life . Sister Tesa is without a doubt the premier expert on the topic and the driving force behind this caring and compassionate organization.
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@Donna Hi, it’s very possible it may have been included but space issues in these pieces often force things to be cut out. Or maybe they tried to secure an interview and didn’t hear back. There is often a ton of work behind the scenes that we don’t know about as the reader, before a piece comes out. I really liked how they highlighted real mothers experiences and allowed their voices to be heard, instead of just a bunch of stats.
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@Eliza Very true, Eliza. I worked in a newsroom for 20 years and so many things had to be edited out due to space or people not responding for a request for an interview, it is a lot of moving parts. I loved the story at the end, reminds me so much of a women I interviewed years ago who was fighting to get her children back.
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@Jay **woman**
Excuse the typo.
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