Thank You for ‘Condescending’

A beautiful piece from a world-class scholar. Thank you for explaining to NYT's audience the subtle indignity experienced by millions of Americans simply for being who they are (rural, without access to wealth, uneducated, working-class) and the contempt and mistrust that it has bred. It's not the whole story of Trump's rise, but it's an important one indeed. Why is it so unacceptable for some liberals to recognize that they hold a place of privilege in society? Why is it so easy for them to roll their eyes at an "incompetent" Wal-mart employee, yet so difficult to admit that you regard that same employee with contempt??? As a working-class kid at an elite institution, this is a social phenomenon that has simply baffled me. Thank you, Kwame Appiah.

"It hurts more to be dismissed as a bigot than jeered as a social-justice warrior. " Seems the author can't quite avoid assuming the higher ground in this condescending comment that belies the truth in the liberal viewpoint.

I am absolutely sick and tired about talking about this. This schism seems to be an obsession with the 10% on either side of the debate, leaving the 80-90% of us in the middle going about our lives. I am the prototypical “coastal liberal elite” ( Ivy League PhD, live in NJ, etc etc) and I would bet you that, outside of my work, almost no one that I interact with every day has any idea. Enough with this stuff. Let’s let those 10-20% go off on an island somewhere and let the rest of us just live.

even though President Trump was born with a sliver-plated spoon in his mouth and subsequently connived his way to at least the illusion of vast wealth and power before being elected, he remains to this day a schlub from the boroughs, strictly a bridge and tunnel guy, a poor man's idea of a rich guy. it's like this: when Ginsburg made his first millions in ladies' underwear after starting with a pushcart, he bought himself two presents - a yacht and a captain's hat, proudly telling everyone he was a captain now. but his brother-in-law, Murray, a pants presser, told him honestly, "Ok, by you, you're a captain. by me you're a captain. but by a captain, you're no captain, you're just in ladies' underwear."

I was taken aback by the first paragraph. By the author's definition, I seem to condescend, although the meaning provided is not the one I understand. To me condescension implies a faux equality, that one is being humored while being held in contempt, which is the common definition of condescension. "an attitude of patronizing superiority; disdain." Although it is the words of Republicans' and not the authors, most people do not make the choices to whom I 'condescend', often immigrants, those with less education, and the poor. I don't condescend, but I do care about equality, and I have sympathy for those that are not as comfortable in life as I, doing jobs I find unappealing. I will act a bit more considerate to people that I would not see as peers, but are members of the same space as I, or are performing services for us. Not 'condescending' to use your definition, would be rude and unkind, and would, in fact, be an element of class hostility. I don't imagine I am better than these people, but I do imagine my life and position are more comfortable than theirs, and objectively my class is much higher than theirs.

Wonderful comment. It reminded me of an incident that happened 63 years ago, the summer I spent as a laborer on a farm earning $1 a day. I was live-in, volunteer worker. On my day off at home I found myself interested in welding and went to the library and got a book about welding. The farmer, a fairly young man in his early 30s, saw me reading it. He was full of contempt and asked my 14 year old self, if I was so smart, what sort of welding rod I would use to .... I shrugged my shoulders because I was interested in the theory, the metallurgy, the chemistry, temperature and heat flow. I am sure that, under other circumstances, I would have read the book and become a welding master in a few months, knowing all sorts of stuff. He would never do that. It was indeed a source of his contempt and resentment. Ugh, I was just a kid.

It's almost certainly too late to change the definition of "condescend" back to its positive 18th-century meaning. The word has carried negative connotations far longer than any present-day English speaker has lived. It seems more promising to find a new word (or words) to convey the opposite of "contempt". How about the word "humble" as a verb? The powerful or elite may humble themselves to talk as equals with those who are less fortunate, less powerful, less wealthy, and/or less educated - and endeavor to understand their lives and concerns. "Humble" has the advantage of being linked to "humility", which most people consider a desirable trait. Maybe "humble" still doesn't convey the right tone or meaning. Do readers have other ideas for word(s) that might capture the lost, positive meaning of "condescend"?

The common factor between condescension and contempt are the egos of those involved. Both seem to care what the other thinks of them.

Aug 30 at 1:22 PM Very interesting ideas, but what can we do to balance things? Trump trumps others with his powerful NO, rejections. He uses the power of NO to turn ON the media, and it works. How about using words, like, MAYBE and SORRY, more often? --------------------------------------------------------------------------- For example, I can say that MAYBE your right and I am wrong. Or I can say that I am SORRY, if I put you down, etc. Does this help, Professor Appiah?

It would be useful to have a modern word with the 18th-century meaning of "condescend". But PLEASE don't cite Trump as an example of positive condescension! Trump is a demagogue: "a leader who makes use of popular prejudices and false claims and promises in order to gain power". [Merriam Webster] Consider the first two paragraphs of Wikipedia's entry on "Demagogue": "...a leader in a democracy who gains popularity by exploiting prejudice and ignorance among the common people, whipping up the passions...and shutting down reasoned deliberation. Demagogues overturn established customs of political conduct, or promise or threaten to do so. "Demagogues...exploit a fundamental weakness in democracy: ...it is possible for the people to give...power to someone who appeals to the lowest common denominator of a large segment of the population. Demagogues usually advocate immediate, forceful action to address a national crisis while accusing moderate and thoughtful opponents of weakness or disloyalty." Sound familiar?

Indeed, "condescension" has been evaporated of its original meaning and also in practice by the efflux of 263 years of the lexicography of Samuel Johnson.Is it possible to witness now, a voluntary submission to equality with others? Please go through the contemporary meaning of 'condescension' from my references. 1) An act of patronizing superiority. 2)the attitude or behaviour of people who believe they are more intelligent or better than other people.3) as a phrasal verb,it means," to treat someone as if you are more important or more intelligent than others". When the concept of democracy,"for the people,by the people and of the people" has become "far the people,buy the people and off the people" we could say it "Demockracy". Every year, there is a celebration of "condescension day' at Guruvayur,Lord Krishna temple in Kerala,India. It is known as "Kuchela Day"signifies the day of condescending,"voluntary submission of Lord Krishna to his classmate,Kuchela who lived in poverty, wearing rags met Lord Krishna at his palace". "Kuchela Day' at Lord Krishna temple informs about the true meaning of 'Samuel Jhonson's "Condescending" but the contemporary computer template contradicts its meaning pragmatically.

Thought-provoking, though ultimately disappointing piece that ignores an option other than condescension or contempt: respect.

I admit that at this point I do view those who voted trump into office with contempt - deserving of scorn. They elected a person who is working to strip rights from women, minorities, those with disabilities, immigrants, LGBTQ people at the same time that he works to strip regulations that protect this fragile planet. They have earned my contempt. Millions of people are suffering because of them and our earth will pay a horrible, possibly irreparable price for trump.

The Democrats as a party of condescension is a phony crisis, brought to you by the same people who said in 1991 that we had a culture war. These are political tactics that have developed traction due to Republican repetition, politics of real support for the wealthy, and claims of widespread but invisible personality traits. What is a more perfect tactic than to claim that the opposition hates you,thinks that you are a lesser being and to your face they will deny it and say something to the contrary? It is also a perfect assault on Democrats because many of us will stop and examine our behavior and consciences to evaluate for any seeds of truth in the accusation. How perfect for the Republicans to get us to aim a good attribute against us, seemingly the only political party with a conscience these days. Do we want Voting Rights because it is justice or because we secretly lie to ourselves about feelings of condescension towards others? Furthermore, contempt is not the opposite of condescension. Real condescension and real contempt are practically the same, sharing motivations of meanness, manipulation, and advantage, and sharing roots of disgust. We are missing the more crucial question-- will the union be more perfect if all the state legislatures, congress, presidency and supreme court share the same world view? We are almost there, even as the Republicans cry out that the media is unfair. You had better work to get out the vote or we will soon find out.

Teachers don't often condescend.... they teach..... However, some 'students' are not teachable..... And some actually take a measure of pride in their defiant ignorance... believing, perhaps, that if they can defeat reality they can transcend their own short-comings and misery.... for which they often blame others....

The essence of condescension is feigning love for the sin but despising the sinner. Gushing about their wonderful ‘culture’ as justification for not letting them in. Reminds me of ‘Gentlemen’s Agreement’ in which Gregory Peck, pretending to be Jewish, is refused admittance to a country club because, he’s told, Jews ‘have their own lovely country club’. So elites effectively exclude others by saying that they have their own lovely culture. 'Don’t try to join us: be yourselves! Affirm your own culture.' Everyone wants to be upper middle class: it is the summum bonem on this earth. But most people don’t have the resources or the know-how to get in and resent their exclusion. I detest the ‘culture’ of the Deplorables and don’t want people like them on the face of the earth. So I support cultural obliteration through social mobility. I want to see them have what it takes to be upper middle class, to join us, to be us.

I’m reminded of this from Ambrose Bierce’s The Devil’s Dictionary: POLITICS, (n.), A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

While attending business school, students participated in personallty tests, one of the sets came back unfavourable, suggesting that I was arrogant, patronizing and condescending. I asked my team members if this was true and they replied, “No, you are condescending, arrogant and patronizing.” I thought I was merely strong and direct. The finding became a wakeup call, and I worked hard to temper my behaviour. It is a rarity when my tongue shoots daggers at someone in a meeting, and I am better for it.

In the 1970s I encountered a man who was a great enthusiast of "swifty" puns as in "'Pass me the shellfish' he said crabbily" or "' We just struck oil!' he gushed." Out of desperation I created my own: "'Take the prisoner below' said the judge condescendingly."

Learning from some wise men and women, I have seen that the idea of overall superiority of one person to another is an illusion that should be discarded. We are all good and evil, and the best thing in any person is better than the worst thing in us. And when we look down on another we are at that moment being less than the person we feel superior to. Feeling superior is evil. Could we have murdered so many Asian people in Vietnam if we saw them as fully as human as we are? Could the Nazis have tried to exterminate the Jews if they saw them as equals? Could sexism exist if men and women did not look down on each other? Racism is based on this illusion, and so is religious bigotry. In the meantime, as a teacher I only have the right to teach others about a subject if my knowledge is superior to theirs. Rembrandt was a superior painter compared to Grandma Moses. But that does not make me superior to my students or Rembrandt superior to Grandma Moses. When I am teaching I think it is right to welcome any student seeing a particular concept I am teaching better than me. If I do not want our students to be the best they can be, and that includes seeing our subject better than I do, then I am not a good teacher.

I note the early synonymity with "affable", meaning friendly. A revised appraisal of the term might substitute"empathetic" or "particularly observant" to highlight the virtuous nature of paying attention of the feelings of those who are more likely to experience economic or political hardship. The ability to observe (objectively) and empathize is something persons of any class or religion ought to be able to be taught and learn from early childhood if only we can extricate ourselves from the narcissistic tendencies of our "#me too /me first"! consumer media culture...

"Educated liberals" who " are inclined to disavow hierarchy" are not educated.

Patron. Patronize. Patronizing. Every op-ed you people write. Really? OK, again: I speak in my local parochial vernacular, gender preferences, class, language, culture, age and cohort biased, religious, ethnic, IQ, and achievement bias. The onus is on the writer to make the above the only topic to discuss. No other topics allowed. If I didn't know better, I would think this was a Republican/Russian propaganda, meant to divide us. Did I say us? I meant us/they. Did I say us/they? I meant LTBQAC? Did I put those letters in the wrong order? Should it be GLTBQCA? Oh my gosh! I have nothing more to say, with 40 days until the Dem voting ballot comes in the mail. Did I say mail, homophone for male? Oh my gosh! Did I mean something derogatory by using homophone, when I could have used a more neutral, 'sounds alike'?

I don't know what geography has to do with it. I live in Indiana, and I'm surrounded by idiots.

"Noblesse oblige", though a fairly rare term, and obviously of french origin, carries a positive connotation somewhat akin to the archaic meaning of condescension. I doubt this will ever catch on for wide use, but it's worth remembering this term.

One piece is missing when measuring the power of the "condescending, coastal liberal" and "working class whites": the affirmative action granted by our electoral college system. The working class whites who populate the center of the country enjoy a more powerful vote than the elite liberals hugging the coastlines. This is where the disdain comes from when liberals talk about their less educated conservative rivals. And let's not forget the disenfranchisement of poor liberals (often of color) who are concentrated in cities. Who really has the power?

Read Dostoevsky's "Notes from Underground" to see the prophet of resentment in the modern world. We now drown in a world of economic, power, and publicity superiority. Capitalist consumer society is essentially a morass of inferiority and the impossibility of human adequacy. "Condescending" from the OED: 1. That condescends; characterized by, or showing, condescension. Now, usually, Making a show, or assuming the air, of condescension; patronizing. 1707 I. Watts Hymns & Spiritual Songs iii. 185 How condescending, and how kind, Was God's eternal Son? a1748 I. Watts Improvem. Mind in Wks. (1813) VIII. xi. 82 A very humble and condescending air. 1780 W. Cowper Table Talk 138 Standing as if struck to stone While condescending Majesty looks on. 1881 G. Smith Lect. & Ess. 199 The condescending manner of a German prince. 1883 J. A. Froude Short Stud. IV. ii. iii. 199 He was never condescending with us, never didactic or authoritative. So at least from 1883 on "condescending" is essentially pejorative. I don't think Prof. Appiah's sense of the word reflects the modern meaning , use, and overtone of "condescending." His version might have worked in the early 18th century, but that was long ago. Condescending can usually be seen and heard as polite contempt.

We humans are by nature inclined to pecking orders of all kinds. Yet, being liberal often comes with a belief in a "classless society," a trust that one can truly view all human beings as equal, and a delusion that the liberal does not judge people or look down on them or need to feel superior. That has always been hogwash. The best we can do is try to continually recognize our own biases and to do what we can to fight against acting upon them. Human beings go through life with different natural gifts & skills, with a range of economic and social advantage/disadvantage, and a wide variety of bumps and rough spots in this road we call life. Despite the inclination of those who do well to believe that their success is mostly their own doing, much of where we end up in life is dumb luck. Yes, effort is involved, as are good or poor choices, but there is always that luck element. What we ought to feel is lucky and grateful to be doing well, not superior to others whose life path has led them to a less successful and/or less powerful place.

"It’s no surprise, then, that contempt and resentment have become the alternating currents of American political sentiment." Would that the antipathy that currently pervades our political discourse could be reduced to dictionary definitions. No concept, political, religious or sociological, remains pure when the human id takes over. In religion it is called sin.

I'm not sure that condescension was ever quite the innocent or noble, or even just natural, concept you suggest, sir. While I might feel happy or even honored that a higher-ranking or accomplished person would eat or talk with me, his or her feeling that as an act of generosity would not be welcome. if I spoke to you kindly as an act of generosity, a favor I was granting downward, I would then be due your gratitude. It would be such a fundamental transaction of my greater merit as to be near an insult to you. Even the linguistic roots mean "down-climbing." The word may have been used as a synonym for kindness, coyly even then, at one time. But I suspect it had a bit of sting even then. It surely does now.

An example of what Fowler in Modern English Usage calls a "worsened" word, meaning that what was once a compliment is now an insult. So if now condescension and insult mean the same thing, we have lost a valuable concept--the willingness of people to treat inferiors as equals.

Thank you for this piece. I am reminded of Swinburne's "To a Cat," which begins, Stately, kindly, lordly friend, Condescend Here to sit by me, and turn Glorious eyes that smile and burn, Golden eyes, love's lustrous meed, On the golden page I read.

Re: Condescending........ Just wanted to thank your for your words. Another ray of light into the dark corner of the American evolvement. " Nothing is so contagious as contempt" ...... A contemptuous White House with a petulant plutocrat. Good lord Charlie Brown.