You totally miss the point of going away for vacation. Beside immerse yourself in a different culture, the main point is reset your brain from your routine and find yourself in a less know world.
18
That leaf flickering in the wind. The warmth of the sun on your face. That robin's chirp? Your entire life. A moment.
23
Ms. Jones, with all due respect, you sound kinda boring. Your kid could learn you something about living.
6
Last week we were informed that we and our descendants are doomed to live in a hellscape. This week we learn that that nice break we take from everyday existence only serves to highlight the futility of that very existence. Has some editor decided we’re looking too cheerful and require a weekly dose of moroseness? Are you turning into the American version The Guardian, that British bastion of holier-than-thou scolds?
12
The difference (between 'vacation' days feeling and 'work' days feeling) is 100% attitude. When you're feeling really good, it's all vacation -- from something.
7
I have a way better idea than the author of this article. How about 30 hour work weeks, AND 3 weeks of vacation. Something Europeans accept as the norm. Stop making excuses for your corporate overlords. They are living in a vacation 24x7.
44
I used to love to travel. But, lately, less so. I can’t put my finger one it. Maybe it’s the tedium of flying. Or maybe it seems like it’s far more crowded everywhere I go. Or maybe it seems like traveling expenses are higher. It just doesn’t seem as much fun or as adventurous as it used to be. Is that just me or has anyone else observed this as well?
38
One more issue with vacation time is the simple fact that it can feel like it is more hassle than it's worth. Many workplaces are short staffed by design because employees are treated as a cost to be minimized. Taking time off or getting sick or any time out means so many extra work hours on either end, that they cancel out this "vacation." In my last job, the longest I took off was two days to move because I was my entire department. Any time off left me stressed about everything I'd have to catch up on.
16
I want BOTH a 30 hour work week AND a 5 week vacation. Given the fact that more and more jobs will be done by technology, we humans should be allowed to have much more time off. This could be done with subsidized government programs like a guaranteed income and universal health care etc. After if we can squander our national resources on tax cuts for the rich and wars of choice perhaps we can start paying ourselves first.
31
We have had the good fortune to live abroad and spend significant amounts of time in countries that have humane workweeks, paid time off for pregnancy, illness, etc., affordable child care, low cost/high quality health care, and at least 4 weeks of vacation over year (as well as good economies). The benefits are enormous to both families and one’s own sense of well-being. In the US, too many people have been snookered into accepting what is a stacked deck against them. Due largely to the Republican Party’s intellectually and morally bankrupt “trickle down” and “right to work” philosophies, the wealthy are accruing more money than they can spend in a lifetime (and as anyone in the financial or estate planning area can tell you, they are busy creating even more trusts and other financial vehicles ensuring that their progeny won’t have to work for generations to come). This is paid for by foisting low wages, Dickensian working conditions, and high health care, education, and retirement costs on everyone else. In the US, unless people start voting for their interests, family vacations or quality time at home will remain a novelty, unattainable by millions of hard-pressed middle and low income people.
44
I have lived a life with vacations, when my vacation loving husband was alive, and without vacations, keeping to my budget, at home.
I realize that vacations are not just wonderful additions to life, they are actually essential.
Never mind how they turn out or where you go. The main purpose of a vacation is actually the coming back home.
East or west, home is best, my mom used to say.
And she was right.
After all the hoopla, sights, touring, hotels, and travel, what a relief to bring your suitcase home at last, and see your home and life with new eyes.
Suddenly, you are renewed. You have the energy to invigorate your life.
That is the gift of the vacation, and I have missed it long enough.
So this year, starting small, Vacation!
34
The only way you're going to change your hours or get more time off is through collective bargaining/unions. And now the Supreme Court will make sure that that won't happen.
29
When I lived in NYC, I couldn’t wait until Summer and all the snobs left to wherever they leave to. Then I could enjoy the city, but then NYC became a tourist Mecca and that went belly up.
11
lots to do so in tristate and I can sleep in my own bed... in summer, NYC easier to get around including theatre district...we do, in addition to vacay time, have every other Friday off!!!
6
Anyone who thinks family vacations are anything other than complicated, exhausting business trips might not have actually been on one.
11
Honor, you realize don’t you that there’s a travel industry mafia. Better hope they don’t read this piece, sensible as it is, for they have their turf to protect.
7
Vacation means to vacate the premises- home, office. go away, I think a change of scenery resets the brain circuitry.
12
this article is just silly. i dont have kid; i love working. but i do want more time off to travel the world and see other places and people.
what we all need is more vacation days to deploy as we choose
9
The sphere of vacations contains the densest of conflicting contentment and disappointment experiences.
The mythology of happy vacation days and Fridays is as imperfect as the vilification of Mondays. People shouldn't "dis" Mondays which represent 15% of their lives.
Wasn't it Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz, as she was deported back to Kansas, told by one of those winged monkeys or somebody, that happiness isn't about where you are, but who you are and lies between your ears.
5
One of the great things about reading a paper made by people from New York City is that you get to read pieces like this pretty regularly.
3
I just saw a car with the bumper sticker: "Save The Adverb". Perhaps, Ms. Jones, you too, could help in the effort. Adverbs are worth saving. Then your son could "snap out" of his tantrum - quickly.
3
People who get paid the minimum wage and have health insurance issues don't get vacations. This is a very elitist article. In the new Trumpian world non-billionaires are lazy and need to be worked to death. A 35 hour work week? How very unproductive of you. When the Trumpists get rid of all the farm workers, those cut and paste powerpoint jobs are going to look a lot more enticing than working the fields...presuming we haven't mechanized field work out of existence and you are allowed to have a job and not deported for being nonwhite....
17
Expressing the attitude that an ordinary native born 9-5 office worker is “elite”, is a good way to get Trump re-elected and keep Republicans in power. Have some perspective.
12
You're nuts. Vacation offers you the opportunity to explore another place, another world. Sure, it would be great to have a 30 hour work week. But I would never trade that for the ability to get on a flight to Spain, Paris, Rome, Hong Kong or anywhere else in the world.
8
Let's cut to the chase. A workaholic dad doesn't give enough time to his children. A devoted dad would have taught his daughter to swing hard, but with control, when trying to hit a whiffle ball. If you thwack at it, you'll miss the ball most of the time.
4
What kind of a backwards world do we live in when even vacations are questioned? What are we going to cry about next? The weekends?
8
Work life and Vacation life are fungible.
You want all of your stuff that you may or may not need - you work 50 hours a week.
You want to live in NYC then you work.... and so on
You don't really need that second home... that nice fancy new leased car... and so on
It is the exact same equation it has been for 50 years or more.
3
How about a compromise: a 40 hour work week coupled with 5 weeks vacation?
6
FIRE
Financial Independence. Retire Early.
If you find something you love, it is not work...take advantage of your opportunities..Invest in what you love...
Be courageous, brave and fierce in your chosen field.
Then retire and really enjoy life...
7
I love my work and find it meaningful- retire to do what? Different strokes for different folks!
2
Just do *work* instead of "work" during normal hours and you won't need to stay back and do crazy long self inflicted work weeks.
2
The author needs a reality check -- not everyone can have a job they love so much that they don't need a vacation from. Nor does everyone have a job where they can take off when the weather is nice.
8
23% of Americans never get a single minute of paid time off, ever. The United States is the only highly developed nation that doesn't require employers to offer paid time off.
I haven't had a single hour of paid time off since 2001. Not a "personal day" or "sick day" or vacation of any kind.
No, not for anything, including babies — if I'm hit by a bus, bullet, or bubonic plague on a workday? Tough. Show up to work or go broke. One job was show up or get fired — no excuses. Nope, not even a coma and a note from God got you a day off.
And yeah, I have a college degree. I have two degrees, two jobs, and literally zero benefits. I work seven days a week and haven't taken a "trip" since my brother's wedding in 2006. Thank you, gig economy!
25
This article hits a note with me. I think people spend to much time, effort, and money on vacations and therefore have too high expectations. Disappointment is guaranteed. Spend the time, effort, and money on making your everyday life better. For example, I made the decision to life as close to my job as I could (I actually walk to work and can walk home for lunch). I save at least a hour a day because of my commute and heading home for lunch save me time, money, and gives me a break in the day. Over and over again I ask myself "what would make my daily life better" and that is how I decided. In my personal life and my work, I spend the effort and the money to make things easier. I don't feel much of a need for vacations and when I do, I don't spend the time recovering from my own life.
7
I never liked traveling. As a kid I had to go everywhere, including Europe, with my parents. I always looked forward to getting home. As a young adult I forced myself to travel and never liked it. I thought I’d learn to like it. Finally, in my thirties or forties, it began to dawn on me that I may never learn to love travel. Now, I use my time off for music and rest.
To each his own. Just don’t do what you do because you think it’s the normal or right thing to do. Do what works for you.
16
No, you need vacation for the change in routine, the change of scenery, and the change in everything that defines the daily grind. Even if the daily grind is OK. We thrive on new experiences - and they don't have to be pricey - because we are wired to explore. Yes you can explore new frontiers without leaving home, but that's too abstract. You really need just to "get away," to grow a few new folds in your brain and to challenge the threatening (or actual) monotony of daily responsibilities.
9
I am not a vacation away from home person. I love time off but have no interest in travel and find it to be a waste of money. A vacation to me is time off from work regardless of what you do with it.
When I bought my apartment, I outfitted it with all of the things that I enjoy, hobby/activity wise so everything is here. Combined with a nice deck to have plants and recline in the air with a good book, I view being home as a vacation so I put my money into making it the place to be. And sure, I hang out with friends, go to dinner, have people over, etc. but I love being home. That is my vacation spot because I designed it that way. A day off from work is a day full of opportunities.
Everyone has their own definition of a vacation. For one person it may be a week off work during which time you rebuild the back deck. For others, a trip to Paris. Wiffle ball in the yard. BBQ lunches in the yard and a slip and slide. For others, a time to sit and leisure read.
The last sentence of this piece is exactly how I feel when I step out onto the deck with a cup of coffee and my e-reader on an almost daily basis. It's peaceful, quiet, private and most importantly, paid for.
17
I have integrated my vacations into my regular life by moving around the country for my work. Each time I've arrived in a new region, I've done the local touristy things that are on my bucket list: museums; wine-tastings; concerts; whale-watching; aquariums; etc. Right now I am living in a region in which I always planned on vacationing but never found the time and the money. Since I now live in this region, I am taking a lot of mini-vacations that have been on my bucket list for a long time: I have visited several museums; have been whale-watching a few times; have gone to new restaurants once a month; and have checked out other local tourist sites. I like George Bernard Shaw's quote: "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live." I see my work as when I am most alive, so I integrate a lot of my pleasures into my work.
4
Comment on Linda Jean,
Love your comment as you described life on a family farm in 1950s, in addition we had a lakeshore house with sauna within 15 min. drive by car and went there for an evening swim whenever it was over 20 Celsius and sunny, the days being long and light until 11 pm. That is how I remember my summer holidays growing up in Finland in the 1950-60s. As an civil servant in Helsinki I had 8 weeks paid annual leave of which I was able to spend about 5 annually due to hectic work, the rest was paid in cash. Today's stressful work life requires minimum 3-4 weeks continuos vacations to unwind and recharge one's batteries. Holidays always better in plans than in action. Nice opinion by Honor Jones.
3
In Europe, particularly England and the UK generally, the idea of a gap year at some point in one's working life has gotten popular. Off to the Himalayas! Do people come back more motivated and involved in work and lives or just disappointed, upset that they have to go back? Refreshed, new ideas, energy? Would be nice.
What is the purpose of work anyway? To earn enough money to pay for food and the house and to be able to go on really extra cool vacations? Ultimately, asking oneself what is work about gets to the question of the meaning of life and most people don't want to go there, being more or less bound to routines and hemmed in by parameters of family and social life. No.
So...the purpose of vacations is to trick us into believing we are having an interesting life. Seeing things, meeting people, falling off small cliffs, wrecking a scooter in Bermuda, risking life and limb parasailing in Mexico. That's the life.
There is this, too: people don't have time for sex and on vacation they do. Like everything else in busy, jammed full lives with two parents working, sex is no longer in the back seat, it often takes a back seat. It has to be planned, scheduled, fitted between a hundred other responsibilities. You and your S.O. can get "reacquainted" on vacation and hope that carries over for more than a week or two later.
Good idea: some time off about every six weeks and then one "real" longer vacation a year. Just don't forget, there's work to do between the breaks.
4
Wonderful Article Mr. Jones. Truly thoughtful. I want more days like you describe in your last line. Unfortunately It's raining here in Guilford.
JM
2
Last week, my employer sent out a survey asking our thoughts on trading vacation time for lower health insurance premiums and healthcare costs (deductibles, copays.) I can see how this trade off would be appealing to lower paid employees or employees with bigger families and higher healthcare costs, but if my vacation is cut I will either quit or insist on taking unpaid time away. I have a fantastic job, I love what I do, I'm proud to work where I work, but I will not give up a single day of vacation. We get 25 days and that's too few as it is.
3
I hope you keep your vacation. I am so weary of employers balancing the books on the backs of employees. Taking away earned time to control healthcare costs. The lack of respect for employees will impact as competition for their services increases due to demographics and the lack of a work force. Enjoy your days.
12
I pretty much enjoyed my 'work-life' in education, being around elementary children. I also enjoy my retirement, which started at 65. I have likewise enjoyed our triplets, now 22. Vacations have been like cut flowers: the first coupla days: happy. They wilt into unhappy near the end.
The lesson I am still learning: pay attention to the moment, b/c that's all there is. I've no had money, and been happy; I've had a little more money, and at times, been less happy. Playing with my kids: really really happy. (Once my son Matthew, at 10 months, threw up on me, as I held him close -- my wife said, "I knew you were a great father." I'd never been happier!)
Finding meaning in the moment. Writing, reading, feeding the birds. Rocking on the back deck. Listening to my wife's sermon (she's an Episcopal priest). Listening to my kids explain their art projects. Giving a few dollars to the guy on the street. Coffee with an artist friend. All meaning in the moment. Seeing how close I could get to a hummingbird.
You don't necessarily create happy. But you can lean into it. It's found, discovered, stumbled across, and well, maybe you can create it: listening to music, reading, visiting museums, helping others, forgetting your/self, hugging your kids, turning off whatever news channel is destroying your soul.
At 70 I am far happier, more relaxed, and attuned to life's deeper joy than at 35. I doubt I make it to 100, and have no need to. But fulfillment is what I want my kids to have. Yup!
31
Leaning into happiness - I love the idea. We are in vacation in Red Lodge MT on our way to participate in a paleontological dig which is a grand idea for a vacation and on our arrival to the small cabin in town we found three young elk in the yard and our 11 year old son way full of joy. This moment may be the best memory of vacation before it really starts. Happy moments can happen at any time - be open and lean into them.
10
Thanks for your praise of the quotidian. It's important. I enjoy getting coffee from the friendly cart vendor outside my office every morning, the scent of the neighbor 's flowering bushes in early summer, the interesting styles of dress on the city streets, my 91 wear old mother enjoying a meal I've cooked and the break for a good laugh among co-workers on a busy day.
7
You can only have the luxury of dismissing vacation if you can afford the luxury of taking one.
For anyone who can't afford the beach rental, or even the camping fee, let alone air tickets or enough time to drive somewhere, stay and return, vacation is a pretty powerful ideal.
This year, I'd give a lot just to have both the time and the funds to walk up over the dune and see the ocean rolling, inevitable, towards me. Just that first long moment of pause. But my time off got chewed up by other necessities - snow days that I needed paid, graduations, family necessity.
Vacation is less valuable than work hours only to people who don't get paid hour by hour. By people who won't lose their house if their hours are cut, or won't have to use their vacation if someone gets sick, because they cannot afford unpaid time off.
So for me? I'd take the vacation, hands down. I'd take that first five minutes of seeing the endless horizon and the waves, and box it up in memory time capsule if I could.
23
@Cathy
Yours is a particularly poignant post. Your post reminded me to stop taking my good fortune for granted. To be more grateful (I thought I was, until I read your paragraph). My hope and prayer is that you, and everyone like you who needs and craves a vacation gets one--the sooner the better.
5
When I was a kid, I overheard a friend of my parents say that Americans idea of vacations was all wrong. Americans spend 2 weeks in paradise and resent that they cannot live like that the remaining 50 weeks. He thought that if Americans spent vacation in a 3rd world country the remaining 50 weeks would feel like a vacation.
13
When I was young I worked with a woman who loved baseball so much she put in a request to take her vacation time one day per week over the summer so she could attend baseball practice. Denied. Her "trouble with vacations" was a lot different than mine — no money.
5
Another fix is to live modestly and retire early. That's what I did...at age 60. Had 3 kids, enjoyed a salary above the average but not that exceptional. Wife worked. Stayed in the same modest house instead of upgrading and "keeping up with Jones". Didn't eat out all that much...kids in good public schools and good state schools, post secondary. We'd always spend a week or two in Florida during the winter months but over the years we found that the state filled up with vacationers yielding long waits at jammed up restaurants, airports and I95. Not all that relaxing. I remember a fellow salesman in our office being incredulous when I announced my early retirement. He remarked, "I have no clue how you can mange this". Well, unlike him, I didn't buy tons of dross that finally had to be inventoried in off site containers. Long story, short. Think outside of the box and many things are possible.
51
Too many of us work too long, are paid too little, and have too little time off. We have no job security or sick time. Our private health insurance stinks. We have no pension and can barely put any money in the 401K. We are forced to relocate when our company moves to a "no state tax" town that spends little on public schools. We use what little vacation is left to see grandma in the nursing home miles away. Ever notice how many vacations the boss takes? The boss leaves everyone else in charge while he or she suns in Hawaii. If there were actual labor rights stemming from old fashioned ideas like unions, maybe we could have better vacations. But for most of us, we are simply borrowing from" peter to pay paul", charging our time off to a credit card at double digit interest rates, and staying somewhere we would rather not be, just to get away from the depressing state of our middle class.
29
When I was working in NY I found that 3-5 day extended weekends distributed through the year were a lot more restorative than one full week or two. I guess I got all the road-trip and extended international travels out of my system in my twenties. After cashing out of NY we live where we would want to travel to.
10
Beautiful. Summer afternoon with Dad and whiffle ball. Beautiful.
15
Had few vacations as a child aside from the very occasional brief visit to see grandparents “out West” or four or five days at the beach. When I moved to France at 22 and discovered that five weeks paid vacation was the rule, it seemed strange and wonderful.
When my own children were growing up here, we generally spent that vacation time in the summer with my parents in the U.S. - mainly just hanging out and enjoying the summer and each other’s company. Ironically, despite living on the other side of the Atlantic, those five weeks enabled my children over the years to develop the kind of close bond with their grandparents that my brothers and sister and I never had with ours. There just wasn’t time.
Once you’ve lived in a society where generous paid vacation time ( like healthcare) is considered a basic human right right for all employees, you realize very quickly that it’s how things should be in any civilized society.
73
“Would you rather work more than 50 hours a week but have five weeks of vacation a year, or would you rather work 30 hours a week and never go on vacation again?”
Well, none of the above. I’d just stay were I am, in The Netherlands (capital: Amsterdam, not Copenhagen...), work 36 hours a week, spread over 4 days and have 25 days of vacation. Yes, it is pretty normal over here. Americans like to talk about how exceptional America is. It is, also in the twisted balance between work and private time which most Europeans would consider very unhealthy.
59
@Barteke Wonderful city, Amsterdam (visited last year). As for 'American Exceptionalism': whenever people brag how exceptional they are, it's always a wind-up to commit an outrage on other people. If my fellow Americans really want to see how exceptional they are, look at OECD rankings on dozens of metrics. They'll be stunned (not in a good way).
10
@Barteke. I just love your country and your city, Copenhgen. Belgium is a beautiful country, I agree, and the people, with their bicycles seem to cute and fit. DO you agree then with Trump that since your standard of living is higher, as you've described, we, Americans, are fools to subsidize your defense? If we didn't, maybe, just maybe, we'd have more vacations too?
1
I live in a place where people go on vacation so supposedly according to you I have no need to travel more than commuting distance for recreation, enjoyment.
That's not true.
I want vacations. Even staying in my state or within the Salish Sea won't work for 3 hour weeks. Going to the Washington Coast is now a four-hour journey (distance plus JBLM traffic or ferry trips and two lane highways slow it down). How about the San Juan or Gulf Islands? That requires at least one multi-hour ferry (from Anacortes or Tsawwassen) each way. Rushing to our National Parks? Why bother? (Olympic, Mount Rainier, and North Cascades all require multi-days to truly experience their wonder).
And the idea of everyone taking off August makes no sense to me unless an entire plant shuts down (and people have no choice when they take their vacations). Having underage children means you have to structure your life around their schedules and needs, including vacations. I don't have children and I really don't want to take my vacations when everyone else takes them. Lodging and travel cost more and everything is so crowded, mostly with people who have no idea how to respect where they are. I take my vacations (including the local ones) in the off-season when the rates are as good as I can get, the pace is more manageable, and the people I meet are far more pleasant.
I find four days being away is the minimum I need to really immerse myself in where I go. I like my job but I need the time away.
7
Luckily I live in "Vacationland," that is Maine, printed right there on the license plate.
No need to "get away from it all," we have four seasons, love them all (except when temp climbs up past 70 degrees!).
Maybe we need to be "doing something(s) different" and not simply lucrative?
6
The excitement of booking a vacation is beyond exciting for me and my family. We look so forward to the trip and just knowing you're going away someplace fun and interesting is 50% of the experience. I get all tingly just thinking of it all, I really do. After I select flights, I get immediately, naturally high. I only wish I could afford to go away more often or with more days, (weeks?). People who bring their work with them on holiday are missing the entire point of it. I don't travel with any phone or computer. Just go freely without the electronic attachments. Discover places without reviews. And get lost at least once or twice.
16
Sometimes you need to look for things that can make the vacation easier. Hating to bring home the dirty clothes? Go for disposable underwear and take old clothes that can be tossed after a day or two. Easier and will also discourage pickpockets.
Find opportunities to really get away. A cruise for a week puts you out of touch with the office - unless the boss gives you a sat phone.
At some point you will be able to discover that sweet spot when the kids are old enough to be left with the grandparents and the grandparents are young enough to handle a week or two with the grandkids. Take advantage of that.
And don't let vacations put you into debt. That just takes away from future vacations.
4
@Ken how does disposable underwear discourage pickpockets? I am intrigued and excited: I am going to try it out now.
1
@Yulia Berkovitz
I think Ken means the wearing of your old clothes you throw away and not bring back to wash rather than wearing newer nicer clothes that may signal pickpockets.
Many people I know, at my age, get a full four weeks Vacation, but we usually take two weeks.Like many Americans, we are afraid to take too much vacation. If we do, we might get fired. Ample European vacations depend on job security.
20
The problem is that if you can't enjoy your vacations because they end, or because it's foggy, or because you spend it in a funk ruminating on your opinion of marriage, redirecting the money and enthusiasm isn't going to help. You'll just be instead ruminating on the trouble with lovely New England weeknights. You need to instead change your very outlook on life - which is alas a lot harder to do. Meditation, maybe? Our spend the money on counseling?
18
This has been what has worked for me so far. Being a teacher is a job that often has a noble and fulfilling purpose (not everyday is rosy, of course), often allows you to join a union, and the choice to have summers free. Airbnb is an easy solution to help people travel for cheap. No, it is not always like a hotel but you get to see neighborhoods where people live and meet the local (and in my experience, always friendly hosts). This year has been the best so far. 3 weeks in 5 European countries for 2 people. We will have spent between $4500- $5000 in total by the time it's over. (Flights, lodging, meals, souvenirs, rental car, literally everything.) Plan and book early! Save $50 a paycheck per person and put it in a jar for a year or more. Then start buying 6 - 10 months in advance. Happy travels!
11
@Robin R. And here it goes for the teachers complaining non-stop about being under-appreciated / overworked. I have always knows that not to be true (just look at the amount of applications each teaching position here in NYC attracts), and the most unfair thing, of course, is that their high-flying European-vacationing lifestyle is being subsidized by Jane the Taxpayer, who could never in her wildest dream conceive of going such places for economic reasons.
2
Poor Honor - His Holidays are a chore .
I’m Happy I love my Holidays and hope to soon retire to a place I have holidayed in my whole life.
8
Vacations are wonderful, especially if you spend in rural France, e.g. Bourgogne. Coming home again ia also wonderful. As Dorothy said, there is no place like home.
2
@Helmut Wallenfels
Especially if it's our home!
When my children were young, someone shared the secret with me. Vacations are the time you take without the kids. With the kids, they are just trips.
11
I have not had a vacation in 26 years. When I think too hard on that fact, I weep. If I had the funds I would go straight to the ocean and breath in that briny air for a week solid. Every year I hope that next year will be different. Hope I don't die before I can afford a week off.
19
@Artemis Hudson. Kudos to you, Sir. Do not begrudge, but rather enjoy and be proud of the fact that you are a hard-working American who makes the world go round, our economy be strong, and our forefathers' believe in hard work making one free a reality! I salute you.
3
The author complains that people rely on vacations to take them away from their humdrum lives and exhorts them to do something to make those lives less humdrum or at least to find more satisfaction in them. I don’t understand what one has to do with the other. Everyone leads lives of varying degrees of humdrumness and everyone who can goes on vacations. Vacations in and of themselves are neither good nor bad, as a general proposition. People lead their lives along a continuum, from abject poverty to some degree of humdrumness to extreme fulfillment. Those who have the good fortune to be able to take vacations should be able to enjoy them without worrying about what an opinion writer thinks about it.
4
The company I work for gives us an hour for lunch and it still blows my mind that most of the people just sit in their cars, staring at their phones (they also run their cars the whole time in the summer and winter). Some people there actually wish for a shorter break! I think people have lost their creativity.
There's a state park down the road, a mere 10 minutes roundtrip ($30 annual pass pays for itself in literally 3 days). When I tell people I hung out in the woods on lunch or swam in the lake they look at me like I'm crazy. Yesterday I went to a garden nursery down the road, looked at plants for about 30 minutes and then had to figure out what to do with the other 30! It felt so liberating and I don't understand how people have forgotten to enjoy themselves. A job is a means to an end, and the end is not more work or guilt. Vacation time is earned and nobody should feel guilty about using it!
81
@Eric You used "I' 7 times in a paragraph. Is it all about you? You didn't have a single positive thing to say about your co-workers. Perhaps, that is the problem: you, and not them?
3
There's a moment when you realize that you've come thousands of miles only to hear English being spoken on every street corner and where you find a mob at the top TripAdvisor restaurant. Throw in the hassles of the airport, the total breakdown of manners onboard the airplane ("Could you move your Kung Pao chicken bowl? It's making my dog's eyes water."), and we'd be crazy not to ask, "Why?" I used to lament I missed European travel in the '50s, when an American and his dollar could bestride the continent. But now I wonder if travel itself is over. Thoreau said, "I have traveled a good deal in Concord." Maybe that's the right idea.
17
If you approach vacations like the holidays, having to be extraordinary, of course you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Because Americans have limited vacation time it is hard not to make the most of the time off.
5
Problem is, you're more than likely in need of an extra vacation after you return from vacation. They are so exhaustive, especially with kids. I think this is why cruises are becoming so popular.
Sit in the same deck chair for 7 days doing absolutely nothing, who cares?
9
Y’all should move to Australia. Here it’s the people who DON’T take time off from work st whom people look askance.
A few years ago I needed a hernia repair. I had a consultation with a surgeon colleague. (I’m a doctor, born and trained in the US.) He said, “I can either do the operation next week or in May, Every April I take three weeks off to go surfing at G-Land in Indonesia.” *Three weeks!* And it was an annual thing. What’s more, he did it by himself, taking still more holiday (vacation) time to travel with his family. What’s so remarkable about it to my American eye, is that nobody here thinks this is at all remarkable.
36
What a depressing article and it highlights the main reason I can't move back to the US before I retire. I have a well paying white collar job with 100% job security (thank you union). In addition, I have seven weed vacation and limitless paid sick leave (plus quite a lot of other benefits including paid medicine).
Technically, I work 40 hours a week but it's not really work since I enjoy what I do...
But none of these benefits are as important as my seven weeks vacation... which I use... every year... there is nothing more important in the world than not working.
59
@Equality Means Equal, I think I'd enjoy a seven 'weed' vacation!
4
From my earliest years, my summer vacations were in Maine. Leaving NJ @ 5AM to avoid the traffic. Very happy memories going to the same house, year after year, from the 1950's to the 1970's.
Having kids and my own family, I drove them to Virginia, NC, GA,
up and down the East Coast, as well as back to Maine.
Vacations are for making memories, and here's the tip I've given every bride to be: Try to give up something and put that $30-50
a week into a box for a year for a chunk of money to be used for vacations. I'v done it for over 30 years, and it is well worth it.
My sons both remember giving up pizza and breakfast out for a year to get to the 1996 Olympics, and they'll agree with me.
18
well I would not trade any of my travels for the world. They are part of my lifestyle and are part of what has shaped me. The "vacation" is not about the destination it is about the journey. I am sorry to hear that so many people just want to get back home to there comfort zone. travel is not for everyone though. It really just depends on where your life is focused.
I am a RN in a hospital and you cannot beat the schedule. my average workweek is 32 hours, 12 hour shifts with full benefits and I regularly have between 4 -9 days off without vacation time. It only takes a few vacation days to make it a few weeks off so I realize I am not the average American. 48 hours of work a week and a few weeks of vacation on top of it sounds too unbalanced. Hopefully people will continue to be happy with less so they can have more time off to enjoy life.
In my time off I enjoy everything form backpacking with my guy, to enjoying music, kayaking, biking, skiing, friends etc...
Get out and do what fulfills you and remember its not about the destination but the journey you take to get there. that may be spending time raising a family or enjoying life in the many other ways that you can. be present with each day!
11
Thank you for this reflection on how the work-week fits into your newly-found father's life.
Life has blessed humanity. If only knew how to control our collective greed, we could all live deeply satisfying lives. The Earth has been incredibly generous to us, but that must end when we take too much.
We can talk about "the man" or "the corporation", but in the end, everything comes from the Earth.
9
Last fall we took two weeks, 14 days to be clear, off. The first time off since the previous June when we took four days, which is typical. The last time it was as long as 14 days was 2003. By the 9th day the love of my life wanted to get back to Los Angeles and his career.
It wasn't a bad vacation choice; we were having a wonderful time with friends, and exploring wetlands. The lure of work was stronger. We all insisted the commitment to vacate the daily routine be kept.
1
Can't we do both? I wouldn't give up my travels around the world for anything, but I don't consider them "vacations" either; they are deep experiences that each have a place in my soul. Even my sister and I vomiting for 12 hours at a hotel in Ireland after eating bad oysters was an experience-- we laugh about it all the time. On the other hand, so do many of the moments with my family and friends doing rather trivial things hold a place in my heart. Both are important.
What you are calling "vacations" sounds more like a break. And being at the beach with your children creates bonds, particularly if these breaks at the beach are ritualistic.
Don't stop going to the beach. Ever.
12
I worked at a job I loved 50-60 hours would have been a short week mostly 6 days a week. I took 3 day weekends, took the family to Maine for a week yearly we did short vacations to Disney. Since we lived in a vacation destination I never felt shorted. However, I put off the one thing I wanted to do; travel a few times to Europe. As I still have family in England, Italy and France it would have been great. I waited and turned down so many chances to go from my time in the Army to international conferences. Now my healthy has turned bad which I never considered would happen having been a dedicated gym rat. So I guess the moral of the story is do what you really want, don't wait.
42
Americans work long hours and have little vacation time. Other modern countries have decided that people are betterse served with shorter work weeks AND more vacation time, much more. They believe their people are investments and national resources and that family time, time for developing hobbies and passions and the opportunity for regular leisure travel and vacation the goal of better happier society.
23
@Jane Gundlach I want to add that as Americans we pathologically base our self worth on what we produce and have guilt or discomfort in enjoying ourselves when it has no "purpose". We also have the highest mentality illness, addiction and suicide rates in the modern world. "A world of made not a world of born" and our culture sets us against our natural selves to be extensions of machines.
18
The thing to let go of, IMO, is ambition. I don't mean that one shouldn't aspire to do good work or find a situation where that work is valued and respected, but I decided long ago that I would never stay at a job that didn't allow me to have balance, not just in the year, or month, or week, but in the DAY. I need time to spend with my family, time to indulge in some hobbies and creative endeavors, time to cook, time to work out -- even time to watch a little TV! I like Steve Martin's advice: "Be so good they can't ignore you." If you do that, but set boundaries and not compromise on balance, you'll find satisfaction and validation in your work without "ambition" and all that it costs.
19
Honor! You saved the best for last:
“...where every now and then there is a day when the air is such a perfect temperature that it feels like no temperature at all, when it’s impossible to imagine that anywhere could be better than right where you are.
This summer, I want more days like that.”
Pure poetry. We all want time like that, working or not!
Thank you for the burst of fresh air!
11
I work roughly 30 hours a week. I have manageable debt (which I've accepted into my life) and spend my days with loved ones, work 6 hours outside, and get plenty of sleep. It may be simple, but I've never been happier. I am not rich. I chose not to have children. I have a master's degree and while I apply it to my work, it's not necessary for my work.
I hope to see more people spend time in their lives doing things they actually love (even if that just means sleeping!!). I hope we can get to an economic place where all folks can actually have a good life. But for now, I recognize my life as a privilege. But if you have the resources to get out of the rat race, do it before it's too late!
57
This essay essentially sums up the Buddhist philosophy on life. Live in the moment. It's become a tired cliche, but if followed mindfully its guidance for living a meaningful life becomes apparent.
In February I traveled to Thailand where I encountered Buddhism up close. I now practice Buddhist principles every day.
Would I like to take another vacation to Thailand (or some other interesting destination)? Of course. Am I able to create a sense of meaning when I am not on vacation? That's what I am learning to put into practice! A life pursued in the moment is a perpetual vacation.
17
America has trained its citizens life is something you get through. It is American to be productive; on the way to work, at work, on the way home from work, at the kid’s soccer game, in bed, while sleeping. There is an ad for Pannera where to worker steps slightly away from his desk to get his lunch delivered to him so he can eat while working. In Spain where I live part time, people work from 10am until 2pm then have 3 hours for lunch! Eating there is enjoyable, not something that is shoved down as if we were back in a middle school cafeteria. Life should not be the purgatory one escapes from on vacation although the Spanish also have 5 weeks of vacation. Americans are virtually put on a treadmill at birth and fall on upon dying.
58
@DO5 On the other hand, the Spanish live in Spain, land of Cervantes, Picasso, and Pamplona. They live where other people vacation.
1
@DO5 Spot on. And we Americans have the highest mental illness, addiction, and suicide rates in the modern world. Number one, indeed.
1
I haven't had a vacation since 2009, and that really didn't count, since I was just traveling to see a friend who was dying of cancer. I've only had "staycations," which were housecleaning, or contractors repairing the house, and continuing to work online. When you haven't had a real vacation in over 10 years, you do think that one vacation might be nice. I also think that asking people who live in poor, crowded or violent neighborhoods, wouldn't it be great to have a vacation away from urban blight, noise and trouble? Maybe rich, privileged people who moan about vacations should donate them to people who really need them.
62
@Stephanie Wood, so sorry to read about your friend.
In my last *paid* employment, my last vacation was in 2005. I had a "vacation" in 2008, in December. It was a retreat, and I stayed up every night until 1AM to work on the departmental budget.
Then I got laid off in January.
Sorry to complain.
9
I work in healthcare where I was lucky enough to get to choose which weekly schedule I wanted: the five 8-hour days, the four 10s, or the three 12s. I chose the 8-hour days. Because I not only want to see/feel the sun before I go to bed, I actually want to enjoy my job, which starts to feel rather like a job after eight hours. The younger folks like their three 12s, but I've done those, and I don't quite know what to do with myself after two days off. But that's just me.
6
@W - Wise choice in my opinion (I've worked 8s and 12s - much prefer the 8s).
4
My husband and I are both scientists and professors. We love our work, but we do work all the time, typically 60 hours/week.
Our son - now looking at colleges - wants to major in something that will give him marketable skills and allow him to work less than his parents.
20
Most of my vacations are working vacations (not all, however), so that I can enjoy and learn about a new place, but also be engaged in my career. Other vacations are devoted to visiting family and friends; either way, I find vacations a good mental and physical break that often leave me refreshed and ready to tackle the more mundane and everyday aspects of my life.
4
I don't think the meaning of this article is that we shouldn't enjoy vacations.
Rather we should enjoy day to day life as much as we enjoy vacations.
Try to put some of the same effort into that.
54
We are on the last day of our summer vacation. We’ve been traveling and taking vacations with our 3 kids since they were born. Some big or expensive or far, some small, close or cheap but always carving out a space where we are present in the moment for days, not hours. I wouldn’t trade them for anything. In real life, even on the most attentive days of parenting, weekends, or holidays, I don’t get to spend 7 straight days, 24 hrs a day, with just us. I love the inside jokes, brushing teeth together, deciding what to eat together, the memories of debacles, and of travel successes (small though they might be in comparison to regular life). On vacation I can remember individual days from sun up to sun down; what a treasure.
15
So true. I live in the US but take the month of June off every two years to travel with the whole family. Those days in a hotel room or Airbnb with shared dinner and experiences are the opposite of our home days where everyone is in their room, on computers, chatting with friends, and going to school/work/sports/scouts. Every dollar spent is precious but worth it for that long, common experience with the whole family. I am blessed to be able to do it (but the off year has only a few short trips) and I wish everyone had that European vacation policy.
5
For many years I worked in an office where I interviewed
thousands of people. On the rare occasion when I had the opportunity to speak to people in the ninety-year range, I would ask them what were the most memorable moments of their lives. Without hesitation, they always answered their vacations.
30
Nineteen years ago I took a vacation that literally changed my life and the way that I see the world.
I made a new friend who also stretched my comfort zone. My life is richer because of those experiences and the people with whom I shared them.
If the author prefers to whine, so be it. I am glad I won't be sharing my next vacation with such a self-centered person.
4
@sanderling1
I didn't necessarily see the article as being conflicting with your experience.
Rather take what you learned on that life changing vacation and apply it to everyday life.
Are there ways in our day to day life we can see more of the world and become richer for it?
I am in high-tech and working with people from India. I just learned their language in Southern India is Telugu and researched it.
16
@sanderling1
I find it delightfully interesting how the author is perceived to be whining and self-centered after having written such a thoughtful and nuanced piece. I wonder what reception a truly whining and self-centered piece would've gotten.
1
I think you are half right. The important thing is to integrate recreation into work and vice versa. Whether you take vacations or not, you need to work on the balance between work and recreation. You need to nourish the spirit - how you do that is up to you and your family, if you are lucky and love the work you do, that is halfway there.
All work however tedious, will be improved by a strong inner spirit, all recreation will be improved if you work at it. Most times you have to work at having fun, and that means giving yourself over to others.
4
Where I work, people spend a LOT of time bragging about their vacations. Comparing notes on which island is best or which resort has the best food or their favorite Las Vegas hotel. I find that incredibly boring. When I go birdwatching in a local metropark, no one wants to hear about what I saw, and they are baffled that I am excited about it. Cerulean warbler!! (huh?) So, I don't even bother telling people what I do in my free time. The interesting books that I read are always one-upped by their favorite TV shows. Yawn.
87
@CatPerson - we are as one. I don't like to travel that much, although I've done it. (And I have zero interest in Las Vegas.) Most people are unimpressed that my idea of an "exciting" time is walking around the local park enjoying the lake and the trees and birds. (BTW, I was very excited to see a green heron, a pair of great blues in flight, AND the resident bald eagle all in one morning! :-)
3
@CatPerson
You sound like an interesting person. If I worked with you, I would want to hear about the birds. And especially the books (I don't watch TV, unless there is a tornado warning or a national election)
2
@CatPerson...its all so commercialized so people get seduced into thinking this is how it is....but this concept of vaction lacks depth and presence...nothing more boring than self centered tourists
2
I completely disagree. Vacations are some of my fondest memories. I love vacations. I like inexpensive ones where my family and I camp near the beach or the mountains. I also like more expensive vacations where I travel someplace new. I also like to pamper my family and myself occasionally. For me vacations are fun. We also like visiting our parents and letting our children and parents bond. Finally, my work is usually better if I have occasional breaks of two weeks or so.
27
The vacations I enjoyed the most were either playing on the beach with the children, watching them build sand "structures" and learning to body surf or as they grew into adolescents, introducing them and, sometimes myself, to new places and experiences. These didn't have to be far away necessarily, just new and interesting with access to junk food.
Once they were grown up, I've found very little interest or enthusiasm for vacation trips. I'd rather be at home. Fortunately for me the grandchildren are now vacation age and I will get to start all over again.
9
In my experience, vacations get better as you age. With three young kids, I'd make the 30-hour-week trade, too. But now, with them grown-and-flown, I'd much rather work hard when home and travel as much as I can as often as I can. A lot of the drawbacks (incontinent kids, jealousy of others' milestones, low budgets etc) disappear, and suddenly travel is a ton of fun.
So... take heart. Your time to truly explore (and relax) will come!
19
The question is, how does one measure in money something that is purely non-remunerative pleasure? Spending money on going to the movies, theater, books, vacations? If one feels a need "to get away from it all for a while", then do it, and do not gripe about the expense after the fact.
2
I connect to the sentence about the perfect air temperature. It is hard to count on during advance planning of vacations. As I waved off my daughter's family this a.m. on their way to Bethany Beach we did not get know that a deluge of rain would be pursuing them all the way to midweek!
6
How deeply depressing that someone considers 3 weeks off a year a proper vacation. And describing France's 35h work week and normal 5-6 weeks vacation a year as some kind of utopia.
You do realise it doesn't have to be a dream? Use your vote to elect people who would make it a basic human right, and realise there's WAY more to life than work, you know, actual living. Instead of dedicating your life to making your employer richer, spend it doing things that really matters, being with your loved ones, traveling, going on adventures with your friends and enjoying life. No one lays on their deathbed thinking "I wish I would have worked more".
138
I find vacations are hugely cost prohibitive. For example, five nights in NYC, a couple of shows, food and I'm easily looking at $2000 . I went to London in 2013. It was fantastic. But 17 days was $7000. It wasn't high off the hog time either. Some of us complete inane tasks at work usually prompted by a supervising go-getter in advancement of their career not for the value of the project itself so I relate entirely to that observation. Much like my favourite line in "American Beauty" the main character says his main task is hiding his contempt for his boss. So I need I break from the people I work for. I'm not going to somewhere, I'm leaving somewhere. I think vacations are for those with surplus cash which I don't have. So it's sleeping in, homemade meals, going to the gym and Netflix. A respite from suffering fools gladly.
68
@Liz O'Connor Good lord, travel doesn't have to be quite so expensive! I was just in New York City for four nights and spent less than $500. I've found that alternative means of traveling - using Airbnb instead of hotels, for example - allows you to save enormous amounts of money and get more of an authentic feel for the local culture along the way.
1
@Liz O'Connor. I was just in London, with my two grand-kids, and we managed to swing the entire trip for less than $2000 (for a week). In summers, you can sleep on a bench at any public park for free, shower at a public beach for free, and buy cheap canned food at local supermarkets to devour cold. we loved every minute of it!
2
If Ms. Jones were in Phoenix, she would surely have a different view. All us Phoenicians take our vacations in the summer and vacation is about what you escape as much as where you escape to. For every day you spend in a cooler clime, that's one less day at 110. No matter how much money I spend in Phoenix in lieu of vacation travel, it will be much too hot, much too sunny and -- during monsoon season -- much too humid. I can vacation with family I can't stand and still come home and check off 7 summer days on my calendar. Did you know that there are 91 days of summer and we're more than a 1/3 of the way through?
8
I'm an American who moved to France. I have a French housekeeper, young woman, who had problems finding other houses to keep because we live in the country. She just didn't want to drive into Paris to clean someone's house. I can understand that because driving 1 hours to get 3-4 hours of work, and the back again doesn't seem to be very productive. So she found a job working in Versailles.
Versailles!... I know. Right?
Versailles is about a 35 minute drive for her or a 45 minute drive for me, maybe 50 if I don't want to be going there.
Anyway, she promised to continue working for me 3 hours every week. Actually, I don't care if she cleans anything because she helps me with my French which is priceless.
A couple of weeks passed I asked her how many hours she works a week.
"I work 35 hours a week, Susannah. Why? It is the law all over France. It is normal." and that is a quote.
Let's change the subject.
The reason US citizens are working 47 hour-weeks is because is because so many people didn't believe they didn't need unions anymore. Well, so many people believed they didn't need to vote anymore either. Now look who is sitting in the oval office tweeting at 3am.
You don't have unions but you do have the 0.01%. How does that feel now? I wonder how many Americans are astute enough to gaze ahead an see what it will look like 50% of current jobs are moved to robotics? Still, no one seems to be planning for that moment when the 98.9% are homeless riffraff.
206
@Susannah Allanic
I also read that while the GDP / person for Americans is higher than for French, it comes out to the same when you look at the GDP / person / hour.
On the other hand, Parisians seem to be a pretty grumpy lot. And they have 35 hour weeks, 6 weeks vacation, healthcare, good wine, good cheese, good bread, good chocolate, good coffee, etc.
Seems like they would be much happier :-)
8
@Susannah Allanic that's why france is changing with new president they can't afford - lazy socialist ways !
1
I was lucky enough to figure out how to work from home, part time, when my kids were young. We didn’t have money for vacations, but we took lots of long weekend trips to cheap places within driving distance, usually staying with friends.
Now we have money for vacations, but no kids, and while the vacations are nice, I miss the simplicity of enjoying a “staycation.”
9
When I tell people “I’m not a vacation person” almost no one gets it. But the fact is I’ve never been anywhere no matter how wonderful that I’m not happier when my foot crosses the threshold to my home. And maybe I’m especially lucky because I like my job.
18
I'm self employed now, but when I was a full-time employee, I loathed vacations. So much work planning them and it was always quadruple the amount of stress when I got back, so any vacation relaxation was negated as soon as I got home. Like, the stress was nearly instantaneous as soon as the airport had to be navigated. UGH. Now that I'm self employed, I don't feel the need to travel or get away from the life I worked so hard to craft for myself
11
Having pets makes coming back home post-vacation far from bleak! Seeing my beloved furry friends run to greet me at the door made the return more than worthwhile.
13
True, Americans work to death, an escape no doubt for some (workaholics) but a necessary drag for many...so to feed the family. No wonder we are so anxious to get away, however long it takes to get out of the city, traffic-allowing. I am in full agreement that we need more time every day to do something creative, use our imagination, making us more productive at the end. And, last though not least, enjoy what we are doing, knowing we are contributing to a team effort to deliver goods or services to the community. This is not to say it's easy and frustrations will evaporate, but being able to be in charge at least part of the day may make the difference. Guy Lombardo (an orchestra director) used to say: "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think". Now, having all that free time for yourself (on 30 hours a week), let's plan that vacation...but not as a relief for unrelieved chronic stress, reason we dig into alcohol and drugs to cope. There is a saying that, supposedly, is the root of happiness: 'doing not only what you like...but liking whatever you do'.
2
Best advice for traveling is what Peter Matthiessen tries to follow in “The Snow Leopard”: Expect Nothing.
6
The thing about vacations is that while, no, they don't always pan out as planned, they do give us perspectives which we don't see when immersed in our daily lives.
For instance, I have a job that can be demanding, deeply frustrating, and is far from lucrative. But when I (finally!) took a vacation two weeks ago, I was looking for souvenirs to bring my coworkers. And as I thought about each person and what they would enjoy, I found myself missing them and looking forward to seeing them. When I got back to work, I also saw how much they had taken on in my absence and, overextended as they already are, no one complained. They helped make my getaway happen.
So now, post-vacation, even with the same situation, I can better appreciate the opportunity to work with people I consider friends.
34
Thank you for this essay - it expresses my thoughts exactly. Family vacations for me inevitably end up being a huge annoyance and I invariable end up counting the days, hours, and minutes until I am back at the office. Yet my dad, who had a fraction of the success I do, was able to take us on simple vacations that I think we all enjoyed. I still remember staying at a Motel 6 in Barstow, California and and visiting what seemed at the time to be exotic places in the Mojave Desert. Why did that work yet spending a ton of money on a fancy hotel in Orlando does not? I am still trying to figure that out.
23
@Marc Krawitz
I think what you write is the answer!
The Mojave Desert vs. Disney World.
@Marc Krawitz The expectation of the event. When you spend a lot of money you expect more; when you spend less you are more open because the investment is so much lower.
1
This is exactly what's been on my mind lately. I'm of retirement age but don't see myself ever really not working. I have no desire to travel far from home. Instead, I want to spend time getting to know the places that I drive past every day, and spend more time with friends and family. If I travel, it's not for adventure or novelty - it's to deepen connections that will continue to sustain me throughout my years.
15
You can visit almost any country on earth now on google maps, for free. Well, not technically free - you still have to pay your electric bill - but this notion that you have to pay thousands of dollars to "see the world" is less true every day. Pretty soon you will be able to view these countries in real time from feeds from the drone vehicles that will be traversing their roads.
India, China, and the Middle-East are off-limits, probably because their governments don't want us to actually see what life in those places is really like, but you can now "go" to most of South America, Europe, Japan, and even Russia. I think it's wonderful: not everyone is rich enough to be able to afford to travel the world. It's one of the few good things Google has really done.
2
Ok. Confession.
I always dreamed of living at the beach. A few years ago, we splurged and bought the most perfect summer home at the beach. We spent all our spare time there. We loved it, until we didn't.
For a few years, we kept a secret from each other. Our beautiful beach house had become an unstimulating obligation. Took us a lot of courage to admit out loud that our luxury was a big giant snooze fest.
Anything amazing, but in excess, eventually becomes the ordinary. My family and I are (ready for this) sick of the beach.
So we sold it.
.....and this summer instead of spending all that money keeping that beach house afloat, we are taking all American road trips to places we've never visited. And we all love it. Ever weekend we go somewhere mundane, but new. New pools. New mountains. New roads.
New. New. New.
Turns out what we crave is novelty. Novelty is what makes vacations so rewarding. So we are going to try (I said try!) to bring that approach with us into Fall and Winter. Will see how we do.
137
@GWE Road trips to the "flyover" parts of the country are becoming a lot of fun for me and my husband. We've done 3 in the past 2 years and I plan many more. I don't have to love the politics to enjoy many many things about these places - e.g., Minnesota, Missouri, Kansas. Next stop - hmm - Ohio? Pennsylvania? Wisconsin?
1
@GWE
Exactly! I don't own a beach house, but I do, however, enjoy going to the beach. I don't own a mountain house, and guess what? I like to go to the mountains - to hike, to enjoy the nature up close and so on. Neither do I have a Europe house but I enjoy going there. To enjoy, you don't need to own it - that I have realized. I see my neighbors packing an unpacking every weekend and every holiday to go back and forth to their lovely beach house. To me that's bo---ring! They seem to enjoy it though and good for them. Me? I want to experience new things without having to own them. Owning stuff is burdensome.
1
It is true that many people dislike and even hate their jobs. But is worth considering that someone thinks it is important enough to pay for it, so it is not BS to them (with the possible exception of some defense contracts that stipulate headcount, even if there is no work).
Getting in touch with the value of the job to the organization is the first step in adding more value to your work. And people who do that usually find themselves doing more interesting work over time and getting paid more for it.
As for vacations, the average US worker gets only 10 days, half or less than most industrialized countries, which might be why so few ever leave the country to see how other people live their lives.
Costa Rica, which is a major business center for Latin America, is also known for "pura vida" literally "pure life", where anger is socially unacceptable, food should be simple and unadulterated, life should be enjoyed every day and walking is an important part of it.
Vacations can provide a new perspective on the lives of others and ourselves. Maybe that is why more companies are adopting unlimited vacation days.
11
Upper- and Upper-Middle Class Problems.
There are millions of people in the U.S. who get no sick days, let alone paid vacation. Some people must hustle to barely survive.
Wouldn’t it be great if EVERYONE got paid vacation, by law, to spend time as they wish. We would be a happier country.
235
@Anne Hardgrove
Yup. I'm a retail pharmacy tech. I get 40 hrs sick time, 40 hrs vacation time per year. That's HOURS. And I end up not using any of it, because we're understaffed and they need me there. I can't relate to articles and speeches about how much better a 25-30 hour work week could be for well being, when a 25-30 hour work week, at my rate of pay, would put me on the street.
6
@Clint
America is a brutal country and most Americans accept this because they don’t know any better. And they vote for people who will not improve their lives.
2
@Anne Hardgrove
Then vote for the right people !
Only someone sated with vacations and travel could write something like this. Someone with the means and the opportunity. We all have the motive to vacate, but many of us (some would say the majority, if you locute like trump) are too busy working on our everyday lives.
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The logistics of taking a vacation with young children are daunting, especially if a partner sees it as earned time off without regular routines. For any wife and mother, keeping the family happy despite long days driving or sitting in an airport, weather delays, poorly digested meals, or discovering that the phone/camera was left behind at the last rest stop, means working double overtime and asking, "are we having fun yet?" My older sister used to call a vacation a "change of sink."
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@Fran B.
What you said about traveling with young families is absolutely true. With young children, a week at the beach with a rented cottage is probably a vacation that everyone would enjoy and not much stress. There is something to be said about being away from the usual scenery to take our minds off the stress of work. We didn’t take our kids to interesting places until they were preteens. Otherwise, they just would not get much out of it, not to mention they couldn’t lug they own luggage and handle other travel related logistics. Moreover, they can be involved in planning and choose activities that they would enjoy.
´A change of sink.’ Love it!
First world problems, jeez.
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@dwalker I thought we retired this phrase. Most of us, in fact, aren't living in the rainforest. It's not that rainforest problems aren't interesting or meaningful; they're just not our problems.
9
I think the thought experiment is built on a faulty and dangerous premise: that all of those 47 hours are actually needed to accomplish the work you do in a week. Some forward thinking companies and even European countries are experimenting with a 4 day work week and are finding that employees become more productive when they enjoy the benefits of increased productivity. In other words, the 32 hour work week is just as productive as a 40 hour week and that is on top of 6 weeks of vacation per year. They find that employees are more creative, energetic and focussed during a shorter week. The problem is not with vacations making your life look colorless, but with us allowing our professions to strip mine our time until we are exhausted and depressed.
Fight the corporate ethic and reclaim your time for yourself and your family! We need to break the American mind set that what is valuable is work and that anything we are not paid to do is valueless.
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As they say on the Interwebs: "Vacation, you're doing it wrong."
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Where you travel and what you see are secondary to who you do it with. The key to a happy vacation is doing something, anything, with people you love and enjoy. For people with limited vacation time, I recommend mini local vacations on the occasional weekend. They do wonders.
And I'd like to discourage the fairly recent fantasy that we should all love our jobs. While you're certainly lucky if you do, people tend to be happier when they acknowledge that your job is intended to be a source of money, not happiness. Find a well paying job that you don't hate, and ideally is even satisfying, and then pursue your happiness outside your job.
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@Jim "Where you travel and what you see are secondary to who you do it with. The key to a happy vacation is doing something, anything, with people you love and enjoy."
I have to respectfully disagree. The travel industry, with its "per person double occupancy" pricing, would indeed have us believe the solo traveler does not exist. But many people nonetheless enjoy happy vacations traveling, seeing, and doing what they love and enjoy all by themselves. For some people (mainly women), traveling alone is, in itself, a freeing, empowering, and even deeply spiritual experience. For others (including me), going somewhere interesting alone is preferable to staying home alone waiting for "people you love and enjoy" to be available.
That said, my most memorable trips are ones I have taken with people I love and enjoy. But if I only traveled when I could go with someone I love and enjoy, I'd seldom get to go anywhere. If you would prefer to stay home unless you're with someone you love and enjoy, that's entirely fine. But I'd rather do things and go places alone than let life pass me by while I'm waiting for a companion to join me.
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The short workday concept sounds wonderful, but there are kinks.
More and more people are contracting in this economy. Tell a gig worker to only put in 2, 4 or 6 hours a day.
Not going to happen.
If they’re forced to work short hours, they’ll find additional gigs to fill the gaps.
Take a step back and see the classic gig worker: the entrepreneur, who is looking for gig after gig after gig.
There are some entrepreneurs who own retail shops. They cannot realistically work 4 hours a day—not unless they want to dramatically lower their income. And on top of their shop’s open hours, they put in even more time after closing time on the books, cleaning up, etc.
That’s the life of an entrepreneur, which is similar to a consultant. I would prefer to rely on the dry cleaner or coffee shop that’s open 8 hours a day, rather than 4.
As the tech companies vacuum-up and consolidate whole industries in our economy, the lucky and resourceful survivors are probably “running their own business”. They become consultants and entrepreneurs. Your essay relies too much on “jobs” supplied by “employers” who should require less hours, while the acutal ecomomy demands more hours.
In a world where big corporate employers are shedding employees, the short workday obsession makes no sense. As soon as people are competing directly with each other (and their overseas competitors in China and India who can get by on lower wages), they can never work enough hours to survive.
7
30 hour weeks with no vacations is 1560 hours a year. The same number of hours at 50 hour weeks is 31 work-weeks (not 5 weeks of vacation, or 47 work-weeks). So most people would choose the 30 hour weeks --- just because the total hours are much less.
Would you rather have no vacation with 30 hour weeks, or have 50 hour weeks --- but only 26 of them. So 4 weeks on and then 4 weeks off -- at the same salary? I'd go for the 6 vacations a year!
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I would take the 50 hour week and the extra vacation time.
A major life draining, soul deadening part of work is just getting there: waking up, shower, shave, make lunch, commute, then commute home. It does not matter if you work 45 or 50 hrs/wk. Once you are there, you are there.
Having 5 weeks vacation means over a month of completely avoiding the 2-4 hours per day doing the things needed to get you to and from work. Add to that the roughly 2-3 weeks of holidays many jobs offer and you could avoid the "rattiest" part of the rat race for two whole months.
The other problems the author has with vacations involves choices she made: having kids and going to exotic "it" places for vacation.
31
OK, a reasonable opinion, but I am left wondering why this was published in the NY Times and what I could possibly expect to get out of it. We all have different interests (as well as jobs) - is there some point in trying to get people to stop taking vacations? Would his life be that much better if he traded his 3 weeks vacation for an extra 2.5 hrs off a week?
6
Wow, that was oddly negative. What I don’t want is a country house or to “get away from it all”. I love NYC - “it all” is why I live here. But I’m also going to enjoy tramping ove, the Derbyshire countryside next month and ending up in a perfect country pub. And then I’ll enjoy coming home. If you can’t enjoy traveling to cool places....I don’t know. Maybe it’s you?
34
In my growing up years my family only took one real vacation. My dad was working as a salesman then and he must have had a very good year because not only did my sister and I get to go to summer camp for several weeks, we also drove from Winnetka to Grandview Lodge on Gull Lake in Minnesota. About 40 years later I went back with my husband and a couple of his Minnesota relatives and it was still there with the wonderful main building and family sized cabins. Such a joy when some places continue to be special.
15
This is not a fair comparison to make at all.
50 hours x 46 weeks/year = 2300 hours of work, whereas
30 hours x 52 weeks/year= 1560 hours of work.
The rational answer to this choice has nothing to do with how the time is distributed
2
There is no "trouble with vacations".
The trouble is with a culture like the US that lives to work, as opposed to others that works to live and to enjoy things other than work.
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Vacations were very formative experiences for me as a kid. In my day, kids were generally raised in "free range" style. I fished and crabbed with family - and by myself. The VERY best memory I have of my parents was being crammed in a tiny 12' boat, exploring a bay. What adventure!
No dummy, as an adult I negotiated the best hours at work, probably averaging about 42 hrs/wk. And I insisted on more and more scheduled time off. When I retired, I was getting ten weeks vacation per year. If my career suffered I am not aware of it; I live better than most of my peers, notwithstanding that I have little formal education.
Don't be a doormat!
14
No. I would not work 30 hours a week if it meant no vacation. My job is fulfilling and pays fairly well but we need to get away from routine from time to time.
A better choice would be doing something about it and supporting candidates and policies like national health care and free college at state institutions so that people could have better jobs and could quit jobs they hate more easily if they didn't have to worry about losing their insurance.
138
A couple of thoughts on this piece:
1. Agree that vacationing with young children can be difficult, and to some degree, not a vacation at all. Traveling with older children is much easier and they get more out of the experience as well.
2. I think it's important to think through what you REALLY enjoy doing, or what constitutes a real vacation for you. Just because all your friends are traipsing through museums in Venice doesn't mean that's a good vacation choice for you. I've come to realize that my favorite vacations have been in remote areas with beautiful scenery, such as a multi-day rafting trip in Utah or Idaho.
23
I love my life, but I don't think there's anything wrong or 'telling' when choose to travel and see how others live their life.
15
In our 70's now with 9 volumes of photos covering 50 some years. The ones that make us smile were the ones with our 3 boys in them. A Saturday at the beach, or a weekend with our camper, or playing touch football in the backyard.
Precious times, no big vacations, just being with family.
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A much bigger question is why does the US still have a 40 hour work week? The 40 hour work week is ONE HUNDRED years old.
Why are we tied to that? Work that was done with a shovel is now done with an excavator. Technology has changed everyone's work, but our working hours have not changed.
But I guess a government tied to big business is not going to look out for the working man and woman.
184
I imagine you saw the recent article about a New Zealand company successfully experimenting with a four-day workweek (regular days, not extra long days). During the depression the Kellogg company (yup, the cereal guy) put people on 6 hour workdays so that more people could have jobs. Worked great. I'm retired now but would have loved a shorter week and, like the folks in NZ and in Battle Creek, I probably would have been more efficient - for sure happier and healthier for it.
5
I'd gladly trade all the time I waste reading more beautifully written pieces like this one.
13
You are absolutely right! This culture is backwards. We work to die. Wouldn't it be wonderful to create a culture that is not based on more money but on more peace of mind?
44
This reminded me of one of our first trips to Florida with then toddlers. After hauling two portable cribs, two strollers, a mound of diapers and sand toys, and toddler boys for two days so that we could shop in a grocery and then cook in a kitchen where we didn't know where anything was, I sank down and said, "This is vacation?"
That said, I would not for a minute give up our annual treks to places which became traditions for us or our many hikes and explorations of the outdoors and cities of this continent and Europe. Exhausting and expensive, yes, but so much life to be found sharing space with people of other cultures and getting to know this vast and varied land.
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@Mary Craig
Vacations, like Christmas and Thanksgiving, are no fun for Mom, who still has all her usual tasks to do, plus the responsibility of making sure everyone else is having a magical time. Learned my lesson...
37
I think they're a LOT of fun. Being a mom of a young family is exhausting work no matter what, but also fun.
One night this June the air felt so perfect as you described. I was having a chat in the living room with my 84 yo mom. We were relaxed, the windows were open, and it was sublime. Rarely do vacations near or far live up to the combination of things that make up the sublime. Quite often it's the opposite.
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@Alexia Vacacations are not necessarily about having a "great time". They are about opening yourself up to other cultures and other ways of life. Seeing that the way you do things is not the only way to do things. My parents traveled a lot when I was a child / toddler. That really changed my life and made me who I am today. I'm so glad they didn't just take me to some lake house every summer.
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@Ryan
Indeed. My mom is from Germany and I spent most of my childhood travelling to Europe and NYC. Most people in this world don't get to travel though. You don't need to go far to connect with others and learn new things.
1
I enjoy new places and learning about other cultures. Travel opens the mind, as does breaking routine.
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Most folks I know work twice as hard the week before a vacation to free themselves up, and then twice as hard the week they return to catch up!
That being said, the point of a vacation can be simply not to get away, but to see a new part of the world, have different and refreshing experiences, and otherwise refresh oneself . . .
One can find moments of idyl and repose during the week (such as the author's childhood memory of playing whiffle ball with a parent) and also benefit from vacations.
Sadly, what is truly disappearing is the summer-long vacation by the lakes - simply escaping for a couple of months with plenty of time to read, walk, swim and life live at a slower pace . . ...
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@William M. Palmer, Esq. The summer at the lake sounds lovely, and I live in Maine so I'm not complaining, but that is a very 1% kind of idyll. Most people get a week, maybe 2 in the summer, and most people do go to the lake or the shore, if anywhere at all, not on mind-expanding, eye-opening sojourns. The water (the sun, the stars, the negative ions, the endless ice cream) is change of routine enough.
26
@William M. Palmer, Esq. Exactly. Its important to get yourself away from your usual surroundings. Not necessarily to experience something much "better" than everyday life, but to break from routine. Our brains basically shut down when we do the same thing every day. Getting away to someplace strange and unfamiliar, makes all those dead brain cells light up again, and gives you a new perspective on your "regular" life.
7
I love to go away.... And, I love to come home. One of the benefits of travel is putting your life in perspective and seeing the great things at home and away. Like everything else the best thing in the world is balance. And, for me, travel is a way to achieve that.
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@Robert Yes its all about the perspective you get when you get away from it all. it makes you appreciate your "normal" life as well. The author of this article doesn't get it, but I understand the sentiment. We can't just keep running away from our miserable 9-5 life.
5
It’s interesting that many people think that their job is pointless. But they should be glad that someone wants to pay them for pointless work because, really, what is the alternative? Pointful work is probably much harder. The most useful is probably farming and, guess what, it doesn’t even come with weekends off. Next time you are feeling sorry for yourself, I suggest that you try to think of that time when people not only worked at pointless jobs but staying home meant cooking 3 meals a day pretty much from scratch, cleaning house involved buckets and brushes and sore knees, and doing laundry meant getting your hands wet, hanging it all from suspended ropes to dry, and then ironing everything. Indeed, maybe we should all be good grateful for our pointless jobs, modern conveniences, and lovely evenings.
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Linda Jean caught my thoughts exactly. While it isn't (exactly) Honor Jones' point, her citing Graeber's book about how most jobs are thought to be "pointless" should think about how almost anyone more than 75 or 100 years ago would have thought about their job. Robert Gordon's "The Rise and Fall of American Growth," whatever one might think about his guesses about the future, lays out the utter tedium for most of history of "work" (whether in or outside the house). Why is today's work more tedious (or "pointless"), given that then, as now, it allowed one to live?...
1
@Linda Jean
Crop farming is probably not as much work as you think.
Dairy cattle, on the other hand, is.
Growing up, I had a paper route from 10 to 15. Seven days a week, Christmas, Easter, Fourth of July, Thanksgiving. And 4:00 in the morning in January when it as 20 degrees on a good day :-)
@Linda Jean, please don't take this the wrong way, it is not a criticism. Pointful work can be fulfilling and a tremendous endorphin boost to the system. You feel as if you are accomplishing something that will advance the company's (if at a for profit enterprise) or even at non-profit operations.
I hasten to add that rote work day in and day out could be tiresome but even there doing a good job can be satisfying. I was lucky in a few jobs and on my own startups that I was and am so involved with the work I would dream of it while asleep.
The rush is something to be experienced. It is a drug.
Thanks Honor for a well written piece. I will laugh all day about half of your army being incontinent. I remember traveling with our kids and it was comparable to a land invasion. I am surprised to learn that I am outside the box. I work part time in a job that I couldn't bear otherwise. I live very low on the grid --100% of the people I know would not live in a trailer but I love it. my neighbors are fellow refugee's from the rat race....we don't have a lot of stuff but we have time. I am going to NYC this
Wednesday . Its a treat that I give myself every 2 months or so. nice hotel, a dinner out, maybe a private tour of the Met.
The independence from the 48 hour work week is worth every single compromise when I tell people I live in a trailer. oh, the look on their faces.......
18
I live at the beach, I can see it from my living room but have not been on it in 3 years. I bought a new car and drove from LA to Mendocino to Crater Lake, Yellowstone, Niagara Falls, Maine, Florida, New Orleans, New Mexico.
Could not wait to get back to work. I hated hotels and sleeping in "guest rooms" and trying to use funky toilets in truck stops. I am so glad that vacation is over.
I guess I just like to work. I get tired and sleep well in my own bed and use my own facilities. Now I know why rock stars trash hotel rooms!
My "retired" neighbors cut their lawns and wax their cars. Please shoot me when that's the highlight of my day. I like to go into " the office" and engage with customers all day. I will do it until I keel over.
15