This is what we call “the summer shuffle.” It is akin to scrubbing the pan that accidentally burnt the potatoes last night—slightly painful, very annoying and seemingly makes you reconsider ever cooking potatoes again. It is not about boredom; it is not about letting kids develop independence. It is about organizing coverage and large sums of money to provide childcare for working families. I am over it.
5
Single mom - one child, now thankfully grown and employed.
I used to call the first day of school "Freedom for Parents Day"!
2
I don't have kids but volunteer with after school and school holiday childcare - what amazes me is that when families get together with their kids - especially on a beach or in a park - the kids will play all day happily without a concern for the parents.
'the work of children is play' - I observe kids' free play with other kids as the most powerful life learning - how to play well with others, how to treat others, how to wait and take turns, how to make friends, how to be attacked and come back smiling, how to fail and keep trying until you succeed !
so my general observation - as evinced by others comments about their childhoods 'playing all day until we came home for dinner' - let kids play together and they'll learn how to be an adult.
1
A month before school left out? That was the mistake.
Here's what I did: before the end of December, my friend and I would meet about what we wanted the summer to be like for our boys. Both only children. Then we picked vacation weeks (we did not vacation together). Then we picked a mix of things -- some expensive, some not. Sometimes it was mostly my friend (who was the organized one) telling me what to do.
Then we made sure we signed up as soon as the camps opened. Sometimes this means staying up late next to the computer to get my application in immediately (National Zoo Camp).
Yeah, seriously organized, but it worked for us.
3
I never minded cobbling together care but was lucky to be able to afford some but not all options.
I would not support making summer vacation shorter or mandatory 12 month schools because kids who are semi-competent spend a fair amount of wasted time in schools. This fact is not a criticism of teachers but represents what is going on in many schools today.
All of these people complaining about today's overscheduled summers and adult-led activities while boasting about your own free-range summers growing up - ugh!! The difference today is that so many parents both work full-time, so for us, leaving your kids at home to "entertain themselves" is really not an option. Maybe when they get old enough to watch themselves, but small children obviously need to be looked after in some capacity.
When I was 6, my mom stayed home and spent most of the summer tending her garden while my sisters and I played in the front & backyards with neighborhood kids and chased the ice cream truck through the streets. Now my son is 6, my husband and both work and so he goes to a, yes, "adult-led" summer camp during the 8 week stint. Do I wish times were as they were 30 years ago and I could afford to stay home with not just 1 but 3 kids in the summer time? Absolutely. But times are what they are today, and as such, we parents do the best we can with the options we have. Even if I could stay home, I would still be leading the daily "fun" since hardly any of the kids on our street are out playing at any given time. When you do see them outside, they are interacting with a parent - throwing the ball, playing in plastic pool together, etc. It's ridiculous and makes being a modern day parent not much fun most of the time. I would have loved to have been raising kids in the 70s/80s instead of now!!!
8
I wish every week for my son could be like the one week we spend in Vermont, at Ohana family camp. No WiFi, no cell service, no tv. Rustic cabins; lots of kids running around together making their own fun. Lake Fairlee kayaking, swimming, paddle boarding; the lodge with good food breakfast, lunch and dinner; everything gets composted; daily camp and community activities... families just hanging out and reading or talking or playing scrabble or cards. Campfire songs. It's heaven.
4
I had no idea this was such a problem. I grew up in the 70s and 80s in a small town in Georgia. I recall playing with the neighborhood kids all summer, exploring the woods, feeding the ducks in the pond (we didn't know it's bad for the ducks), and watching soap operas. I've never been to a camp in my life and turned out relatively ok - three degrees from top unis. I realize a lot of women didn't work or had the summer off back then and can see how it could be difficult to keep kids safe today. Given that it seems to be such a widespread issue that burdens women mostly, I would like to see more public support for kids' activities in the summer.
3
@S K Amen to that!! :)
1
There seem to be a couple of issues worth commenting on here. The first one is the inordinately long summer vacation period you have in the US. I grew up in a very hot climate in Australia and our summer vacations were only 6 weeks long. The other issue is the desperate need to address childrens' boredom. My parents didn't even try, they expected us to entertain ourselves. (They were both working after my younger sister was old enough to attend school.) Of course I was not an only child, but we invented things, read books, played in the local park and our yard, went to the local tennis court and swimming pool. Don't you think your children need to really grasp that life is mostly boring unless you do something with it? I worry about the level of passivity all these camps and ipads are engendering.
3
Here in the San Francisco East Bay there are a couple of summer resources for kids. A couple of local private schools offer day time summer camp and after school programs for kids (for example Palmer School and Head Royce). The local junior college Diablo Valley college offers a "College for Kids" summer program. There is a "Roughing it" Day camp for the wealthy kids. YMCA summer programs and field trips for local kids.
We recommend joining a local swim team, a pool club with life guards and making friends with the parents. Fellow parents will look out for your kids, give them rides home, and provide helpful resources. We were able to get some great advice and referrals from fellow parents on our local swim team. We also recommend joining local babysitting coops earn points that can be used to get free babysitting from other parents.
Reach out to relatives and siblings for support and babysitting help. As a teens we were sent to Europe for summer holidays our parents got a break and our grandparents got to spend time with the grandkids. The summer resources are out there depending on where you live, how much you want to spend, and who you know.
Lack of air conditioning in older northern and western city and suburban schools is a real problem to either extending this school year or offering enrichment/recreation programs through camps. This year, the superintendent in our district dismissed school early on a Monday in June because of the lack of air conditioning. It caused a real uproar in the community and I cringed for the parents who depend on school for childcare, as I did.
2
@Meighan If children were used to the lack of airconditioning, they would be fine. It's going in and out of air conditioning that is the problem.
I'm cynical enough to think that everyone who profits from renovating and building schools wants parents to cringe when schools are canceled due to heat so the parents will push for and support money to upgrade schools. My school district didn't really seem to start canceling classes for heat until it wanted to pass a bond to do upgrades.
@Charlie Wow, that is cynical.
I have always worked, therefore my children needed to be in one place, 8AM-5PM, for at least 8 weeks where they would be picked up and returned home. The local, inexpensive recreation camps did not last all summer, nor all day, and did not include daily swimming or sufficient staffing. Specialty camps required changing every week or two weeks, and usually did not include transportation. I also discovered that unless you have the luxury of making your own hours or being home fro the summer, the only options were expensive day camps and sleep-away camps, and for those you needed to register and pay a deposit usually before March to benefit from the reduced "early-bird" rates.
7
My town offers recreation camp Mon-Thurs from 9-3 for $130 total for 6 weeks. Fee includes four T shirts that kids must wear. Kids swim in the lake, play organized games, see movies/play in the gym at the middle school on rainy days, and for a small fee kids can sign up for trips to facilities to play laser tag, play on water slides, etc. Camp is held at four parks in town, and before camp child care is available for a fee. Town has offered this since my children were little, and now my grandchildren attend. My 14 year old grandson is now a volunteer Leader in Training camp counselor after he attended camp from ages 5-13. Recreation department also offers dozens of modestly priced activities for kids such as yoga,cooking classes, rock exploration, bug identification, etc. Swimming lessons are also available for $5 a 1/2 hour group session. My town is not wealthy, but it made the commitment 40 years ago to have a robust recreation department, and they’ve funded it accordingly.
7
@Mary Ellen That wouldn't really work for working parents, though. Our community offers something similar, but we can never use it because my husband and I both work. And, when my kids were younger and I stayed home, I didn't see the need to pay for them to go to camp.
2
Our school system is still set up as if most moms were stay at home mothers and never is that clearer than in the summer. Like most families with a mother and father that both work, summer is a cobbled together mix of camps, grand mom and working from home when we can.
While I think camps in small doses can be fun, I worry about what all of this "adult-led" activity is doing to kids. When I was young (80's) summer mostly meant reading, watching TV and eventually wandering around the neighborhood to find other kids. It certainly wasn't full of enrichment. But I was able to entertain myself. One trend I see with my own kids and their friends is that they can't "just play". Even when we have a few kids over to our house, they always seem to be waiting for an adult to provide some structured activity for them to do rather than just going off on their own and playing.
6
It was long ago, but I remember agreeing with a colleague who said that August in NYC was the Death Valley of childcare.
7
The fact that summer is reduced from 3 months to 2 months is a travesty for kids. But on the other end stress on parents for even 2 months of "activity" for kids is understandable.
I am all for going back to a 9 months school system but also subsidizing summer activity ... in the schools themselves. Lots of teachers wouldn't mind the extra pay and most parents would love to keep dropping off kids at school.
2
Like a lot of other working parents, we do a mix of day camps, sitters vacations, and a sleepaway camp for our kids. I don't find it particularly stressful to plan now that I've been doing for a few years, and we can afford it, but we are lucky to have good options and to be able to afford it. I do think that an extended break is nice for the kids and the parents, but the summer break (ours is usually 11 weeks) could be shortened to 6 weeks or so and still "feel like summer". That would help with the kids losing ground academically over summer, and it would allow for a few longer breaks during the school year (so maybe they wouldn't "need" summer so much by the time it rolls around). But at least here in the midwest, most schools aren't air conditioned, and I wonder if that has anything to do with the resistance (not at the parent level but at the school district level) to year round school? My guess is that the facilities would need to be upgraded with AC before most communities would consider year round school, and although that's a one time cost, it is a big one.
1
In Europe, kids have six weeks off for the summer. Maybe extend the school year, but do fun things in the summer and no homework - science labs, art, music, physical activities. School districts could hire college students who are off for the summer and assist teachers. It makes no sense to have kids off for several weeks when working parents barely get time off. No wonder we are a stressed out society.
2
My children's public school has a two-month summer break, which I fill with a few week-long camps, one week vacation and another three weeks where I resign myself to letting them watch YouTube videos while I work from home. I call it the Great Summer Cobble. Perks are later nights, more movies and week-day sleepovers. It's a pain to plan, but at least the challenge is four consecutive weeks, and I've developed a system to (imperfectly) tackle the time.
What's harder to plan are all of the new breaks during the school year — week-long fall break, Thanksgiving, Christmas, a week-long winter break and then a week-long spring break. The school calendar has me in a constant state of planning child-care, spending more money and more time neglecting my children while they watch God knows what and eat gummy snacks by the box.
6
The self righteous commenters who decree that kids need to be left alone during the summer to unwind and explore - "like we did" are completely out of touch. These days - in LA - someone would call the police on the parents within an hour if school aged kids were at the park unattended. Summer camp and activities aren't a luxury - it's a necessity or you are rolling the dice with social services or worse. The cheapest option in LA are the camps sponsored by local parks and rec centers - this is $250/week - per kid. So for all the chortles out there about a $12K summer for 2 kids - that's a bargain out here in LA when you have two full time working, commuting parents who cannot be without childcare for a day and have no family to rely on. We need more compassion and less judgment.
26
Politicians think parents all need the kids out of school over the three summer months to work on the family farm.
6
I teach in Flushing, Queens at one of the many schools which provide extra help to students. The parents spend their money to have their child sit in a classroom for three hours, five days a week for six weeks. They have homework to do every day. Their summer break consists of the last two weeks of August.
1
Being able to spend $4000 per kid during the summer is a luxury not many people have.
4
@Brock
The problem is for those who work a full day, every day and do not have the option to take off most of the Summer, inexpensive options are limited. Many spend their entire summer salary providing care and supervision for their children because quitting a job is not an option. I saw my friends who were teachers take summer jobs at day camps or sleep away camps where in exchange for working their children attended at no cost. I never had that option.
1
@Brock What other choice do you have when you work full time?
1
There are, at least for families who do not live in major (read expensive) cosmopolitan cities, camps that do not cost $12,000. To be sure, even the $300 a week camp at the Y adds up if you are not in the right income level, but there are definitely a range of options. As a SAHM, I have the luxury of not sending the kids to any camp. This summer, I took the children to a Suzuki Institute (music camp basically) and that was fairly costly after adding up the cost of an airbnb stay (airbnb $900 for the week; masterclass music lessons for two kids came up to $1200 or so). Last week, one of my children attended a four day, 9 a to 4:30 pm sailing camp for $150. (Camp's price was very favorable because it was conducted on a military base). We have no other plans for the summer but to go to the beach and the pool more. The kids will be reading books and playing in the garden. They will practice their instruments, and if they complain to me about boredom, get to clean the bathroom. We spend two to three hours a day on some form of learning (at home). It is a little lonely sometimes because most of their friends are in camps. They don't have neighborhood kids to meet with spontaneously just to spend endless hours playing with legos. But I think they might cherish this time of lazy summers when they grow up.
1
@Jackie Kim That was the one thing that bothered me about being a SAHM in the summers -- all the other kids were in camp. You could fire a cannon through our sub in at 1 pm on a Tuesday and not hit anyone because no one (other than us) was home.
1
My daughter, a working mother, is very creative with planning summers for my two grandchildren. Her 13 year old daughter spent her 4th summer at Camp Lookout, a 100 year old camp located on the pristine shore of Lake Michigan. The camp enjoys a wooded setting and the emphasis is on creative activities. My 10 year old grandson will go there next summer. He will attend a one week program for robotics and another one week Spy Camp with his cousin in Ann Arbor, MI. They entire family will then head to North Carolina for a beach vacation. The family has a pool membership at a local private pool which has hours until 9pm. All of this is very expensive but just what working parents have to do to keep kids occupied for the summer. Just before school starts, the whole family will have a long weekend visit with their grandfather in Manhattan and then back to school!
2
If I could recommend any camp to parents of kids 10 or over, it would be Camp Voyageur in Ely, MN. Ely is on the edge of the Boundary Waters. The camp is primarily for boys, but they have a 3- week session for girls. Every kind of wilderness experience, long canoe trips into Canada, tremendous gifts of fun, adventure and shared responsibility. And no one can become a counselor till they're 19, so the adventure and learning continue through high school.
My sons both told me every year how relieved they were to be away from electronics for 8 weeks, even though they never thought they would feel that way. They had spent their time learning how to be great wilderness adventurers.
And the people who direct this camp are some of the finest people I've ever met.
5
As a teacher, I caution people about using the difficulty around childcare as a reason to change the school calendar. School's purpose is educating children, not babysitting. That being said, I agree with many comments that the school calendar should be changed to accommodate for shorter but perhaps more frequent breaks. The structure that school provides is important for most children, and the long gap of summer vacation usually results in inefficient use of time in the classroom.
6
@suzanne,
Sorry, I disagree with the role of "educating" only for schools. With so few parents who don't work, the school (or rather the school building) should be a place where children can spend their entire day in a safe environment.
The building is a sunk cost (already paid for) to the community and as such should be used 12+hrs a day 7 days a week. But it should be used by the children, not some community group.
You don't have to staff the "off" time with teachers, but with people who can offer enrichment - arts, sports (not all urban schools have them), tutoring and just plain childcare. And they should also be going on field trips to learn about nature, communities that are poorer or richer than their own, etc.
In the summer, you might use it for camps.
All this, of course, is happening somewhere in the US, but it should be required by law. The cost of these programs, perhaps, could be shared by the government and the parents.
In NYC, the after-hours use of buildings is another (legalized- crime) story.
3
Children are the parent's responsibility, if some of you are wealthy enough to afford all these expensive camps why in the world would you think the government shroud subsidize YOUR children's activities. I was a working mother, for part of the summer my sons went to their grandparents, they went to camp several years and OMG, I hired a qualified baby sitter part of the summer. It takes planning. I do agree that schools could be utilized for summer activities. Why not get involved with the school board to learn how this could be accomplished and at what cost to the consumer. It seems we want the government to solve our problems and at the same time stay out of our business. Congress can't even solve the country's problems!!
No matter the type of school schedule, parents gripe. Too much summer break! Too little! Year round school is a mess with few activities available! It starts too early! School starts back too soon (Aug 1 around here, in Georgia heat/humidity!)
Your children are your responsibiltiy to plan for, folks.
1
I favor year-round schooling for K-12, with a reasonable summer break (i.e., 2-3 weeks off from school).
It's my opinion that an entire 12 weeks off from school doesn't serve kids or their families well. Kids forget what they have learned during the school year because many aren't working on these concepts during the summer. Thus, they start the school year "behind."
12 weeks off in the summer also disrupts the structure that kids need to thrive - i.e., getting up early; studying; working in groups; having PE/Art class (if available); and having lunch.
The school-free summer is also incredibly tough for working class families. The wealthy are able to afford enrichment activities and camps. But that's out of reach for many families that are left scrambling for day care.
A friend of mine has three kids under the age of 8. Her family is working poor. She's a stay at home mother; her husband works full time. They're barely making it. Camps and vacations are thus out of the question. But she got creative. She limits the kids' use of electronics (and TV) to 30 minutes a day, only after their chores are done. Once a week, the kids go to the library, check out books and write book reports. Each night after dinner the family plays a math game for 30 minutes. During the day, the kids do volunteer work in the community and help their neighbors with chores. They visit museums (on the "Free Kids" Day) and parks in the nearest city. They play sports in the yard. They make it work.
13
my guess is that long summer vacations had to do with farming. as a future ski dad, I'd rather have 6 weeks off in the winter and 6 weeks off in the summer. I had the good fortune to attend tennis camp in the summer and to be taken on ski trips in the winter. therefore, to me, summer = tennis and winter = skiing. in the future, when I have kids, I'll hope they spend their summers playing tennis and riding horses and their winters skiing. I don't think vacation is too long, unless the kids have nothing to do. I believe that physical activities (tennis, skiing, horseback riding, soccer, maybe hiking) are as important as mental ones, which means kids need time to be out under the sun and sky as much as in the classroom.
3
@Josa I would love to meet your friend. She sounds like an amazing mom, and is a true inspiration!
4
@Josa That is one very good mother.
2
As in other societies summer vacation is too long and should be shortened to 8-10 weeks.Its not only a question about ones economic situation but also about education.The more children learn the better they will manage in adult life.And besides,vacation should be a time of joy for the whole family and not an endless worry during 12 weeks.
5
@Hank My grandchildren's summer break is 9 weeks. Having 12 weeks seems to me to be too long for any efficient learning.
I went to camp one or two weeks per summer. Otherwise I went outside.
3
We start planning in February. We are guided by our work schedule, our commute times, our middle schooler’s growing ability to get around independently in our large urban shed on public transit, by cost, and by her interests. We get in one to two weeks of sleep away camp each summer. We come I. Around $3000, pretty good in our part of the country, we have only one kid, but still steep for us. Thank god for good(enough) free public schools!
4
I started a summer music camp in Austin, Texas in 1991 in order to teach kids to play rocknroll in groups by ear. I got a lot of grief for calling it a 'camp'. It's amazing how completely that model has come to dominate summer activity, in so many areas! Managing our kids' learning is evolving again, it seems, away from large institutions and towards kid-centric cooperatives year round. I think it's a great thing. I still remember the day one of my private piano students came in and told me about Yahoo! I think it was 1994. I laughed and said, well, there's the end of public schools!
2
Year round school with maybe 3 weeks off for family time. Great idea. Beneficial to kids and society. Would provide time for subjects like PE, music, art. Oh, but wait. Get back to me after you talk to those parents in OKLAHOMA who won't even pay for kids to go to school 5 days a week during the regular 9 months.
11
Here in Helsinki, all of the play parks have activities and free lunch for children under 16 every summer weekday. Yet another example of socialist oppression, I guess!
45
1) To the author- you need to start planning way before March. I'm already thinking about next summer. Some camps give discounts if you put your deposit down before the end of the summer.
2) To the folks who say "when I was a kid I just stayed home..." great now a days if you left your 7 year old home while you went to work all day some nosy neighbor will call DCS.
3) Now that my kids are all 10+ and I work from home it is a little less stressful. When they were younger I had spreadsheets for who was going where each week of summer because I needed the child care and it was a balance between "affordable" one or two enrichment camps that they really wanted to try. This summer they each got 2 weeks of overnight camp of their choice (one went to debate camp to prepare for his school's competitive debate camp, one is doing Space Camp (Black Friday sale made it more affordable) and one is doing YMCA camp. They also all got some travel time. However, even though they don't "need" camp at this point they do need some sort of daily structure whether it is "mommy homeschool" with mandatory reading and math time or a shorter enrichment camp in the morning and the pool in the afternoon.
4) the fact that upper middle class families can afford enriching camps for their kids only widens the gulf in schools. I do wish there were more options for affordable camps. They are out there but space is usually limited and you have to dig to find them. Maybe, the school year should be longer.
9
I grew up in the 80s / early 90s in rural Minnesota. My parents never had the option to take time off work, so my sister (four years older) and I fended for ourselves. We were tasked with weeding the garden, doing the household chores, helping my dad with his business (long hours of sweaty outdoor work) and were turned loose to ride our horses in the state park near our home for as long as we wanted. There was no money for "camps" -- it wasn't even spoken of as an option in our home -- and no one to drive us anywhere anyway. We stayed on the farm. I read a lot of books and played in the grass with my dolls. We mucked stalls. In the evenings my dad might suggest a swim at the lake and a trip to the DQ, which was a big great. It was enriching in a different sort of way than we think of enriching our children now, with so many structured activities. I recall being a little lonely and missing my parents -- but we turned out tough, and I hope to raise my own son in a way that he appreciates time to be free to entertain himself and make his own enrichment activities.
10
I believe many parents choose to enroll their children in these camps because they don't want them "in their hair" or "underfoot".
Why not assign kids some chores to do in the morning, and then let them develop their own interests in the afternoon? Weekends can be spent doing things together.
5
Not sure it's about not wanting kids underfoot... I think it's more about the parenting rat race - a competitive society and women feeling unreasonably feeling guilty because they aren't the "ideal" Mom.
I understand the sleep-away camp tradition if it's so urban kids might get some fresh air, more access to sports/recreation.
But I had to chuckle at the woman who was spending, at the higher end, $12,000 for day camp and sleepaway camp for her two children, writing, “it is a serious struggle for us to afford summer camps. I don’t know how working class or poor families manage it.”
Uh, we don't.
On the bright side, check out any comedian, actor, singer, writer.. Chances are they had a lot of unstructured time during which they had to entertain themselves.
4
So you're saying I should give my 5 year old daughter a list of chores when I leave the house at 7:30am and wish her luck until I get back at 6:30pm?
You seem to suggest there are somehow parents hanging out in the house all day who don't want to be bothered by their children so they ship the kids off to camp. Do you really think that's a widespread practice?
And obviously not all kids are old enough to be left on their own for a 10-hour stretch.
27
Summer might be a good time for NYC kids to study for the Stuy test.
1
This isn't even just about the 60s vs. today. I grew up like this in the 80s, and the kids in my family all still live this way, because they can't afford these camps. It's just plain silly to pretend having too many camps to choose from is a "problem." These folks should be grateful instead that they can afford even one camp and not bother to get any others, and those who can't afford camp should not feel bad about themselves.
5
My team at LitWorld and I created a program called "LitCamp" that is now being used in schools across the United States! It is built on my dream of bottling up what I loved most about summer as a kid: the learning that comes from joy and the reading that comes from passion and what we see across the world that our LitKids really want. Kids love it! All those kids who "have to" go to summer school are now clamoring to join! I wish we could make sure LitCamp is in every school across the US!
1
Heaven forbid kids get two or even just one week to chill at home or in their own neighborhoods, play outside with kids in their neighborhoods, maybe even, I don't know, READ A BOOK?
Summer planning was never such a big ordeal when I was a kid, but I guess that's because we were too poor for these camps.
Meanwhile, I tutor some of these privileged kids, and some of them are behind in independent reading. They do well when we discuss things— because, presumably, books are being read in pieces and discussed at some of these camps— but they can’t just sit and read independently and then explain without any help what they have read. Because kids don’t do anything independently anymore. Every second of their lives is micromanaged.
Don’t even get me started on the disappearance of “make-believing”/“playing pretend.”
Kids spends 9-10 months per year studying and participating in after-school activities. Is it really the end of the world if they spend one or two days during a free summer week playing video games and eating cookies in their PJs? Then another one or two running around with neighborhood kids, and a final one or two reading books and making crafts?
That’s a pretty cheap week right there; all you need is $15-$20 per hour for a sitter, and that’s assuming you don’t know ANYONE who would watch your kids for free for one or two days at a time. (Most of us do know such a person— a relative, the neighbor’s teenage daughter, your kid’s friend’s stay-at-home mom…).
3
I can’t imagine a teenager offering to babysit for free. I certainly didn’t when I was babysitting in the 80’s and early 90’s. I also wouldn’t foist my kid on a stay at home parent from 8 am to 6 pm unless I could do the same for them on another day.
1
Interesting that many of the parents send their kids to specialized camps, that are separate, causing them to shell out individual fees! Aren't they aware that there are fine sleep away camps, that offer a smorgasbord of activities, under the same roof, sort of speak?!
2
A dad here writing from Asturias. We’re on a road trip to show our kids Spain’s northern coast. Today we played paddle ball on a family friendly beach called Poo which made us laugh. We booked a room in a rural hotel and I walked up the street with my kids and asked a dairy farmer if we could take a peek inside at the cows. He led us to a second barn where calves were feeding with their mother. After dinner my daughter asked if she could see the cows again so she went with her mom and saw a baby bull. Before bedtime my daughter was asking what animals produce milk and at the beach I hear her singing Adel to herself which she hears in the car. These are memories and bonds that last a lifetime.
5
The situation for parents is ridiculous. It worked when adults were home during the day, when grandparents lived nearby, and when family farms were the norm. Now, when millions of parents are in a dilemma about summer months, doesn't it seem like we could go to a different school schedule? I've seen lots of options that work elsewhere; six weeks in school, two weeks off, all year long, among others. Why do we put up with this?
9
We put up with it becauses the tourism industry has deep pockets and keeps the politicians in line.
3
Starting n June my mother would open the back door after breakfast and tell us to check in at noon and not to go on Donahue's farm unless we had permission. We made our own entertainment which usually included a hike of some sort of hike in the hills or a game of touch football Then we would go swimming at the community pool nearly every day. Well that was in the 1950s when kids got the summer off, most mothers did not work and it was of course the pre-digital world. I would not trade those days for what my grandchildren do now (as carefully planned by their parents to assure their success in the world of course).
7
@RBS I was a child in the 1960s and had a stay-at-home mother. I remember being bored out of my mind and riding my bike (which I cannot imagine being without) in search of something, anything, to do and in search of someone to "play" with. There were many encounters with creepy men and many other dangerous situations.
My kids are grown and moved out . My guess is kids today are probably engaged with activities parents deem important. With that said when I am out and about as they say every kid I see is staring at his smart phone. So wherever they go what ever activity they are involved with the smart phone is their companion. I also notice seniors glued to their phones so one would assume everyone in the mix , the so called parents are with their phone 24/7. Pretty handy gadget.
2
My wife is a teacher and I am a Professor. So we are both home all summer with our 15-year-old. Have been since he was born. He goes to day camp for two weeks (more when he was younger) because we can afford it.
If we couldn't, he and we would be content doing, well, not much. Expect being together.
No wonder he wants to teach.
7
I hope your 15 year old had or has friends that he can hang around with, exploring, playing, inventing, during the summer months as well. Spending the summer in the company of parents sounds painful...for any child. And should be.
3
Truly the ideal summer--and childhood. I did all of this still in the late 70s, early 80s, and there is no better way to grow up.
4
My parents are (retired) professors - that's how my childhood summers went. (Plus long trips to my grandparents.)
It was great.
Everyone wants their kids engaged in meaningful activities, the solution seems to (according to those interviewed) a longer school year.
Yet, at the school I teach in, parents don't want to respect the calendar and yank their kids for random vacations--the summer would be horribly scattered.
Yet, everyone seems to agree that kids are too scheduled, but the solution (according to those interviewed) is a single entity (local public school) creating a program for everyone.
Yet, many schools have programs, with subsidies, but our children prefer this or that short-term program and we race to satisfy them to keep them happy (or, at least, quiet).
We want options without commitment, by our families or our children. Make public school mandatory and parents can be free of raising their children while the school fills the role of the killjoy.
7
My kids are playing video games,
playing on their phones,
eating candy,
staying up late,
sleeping in.
Well, my kids are interning at the museum,
taking a computer code class,
re-reading Lord of the Rings,
painting a mural on the fence,
and learning Japanese online.
6
Mandarin's the way to go! Japanese is so twentieth century!
PS Unless one is in southern Brooklyn, then it's Cantonese!
1
I cannot believe what I am reading about parents' expectations about themselves and their children these days. In the 1960's when I was a kid there was no such "problem". We entertained ourselves! All the kids in the neighborhood would pretty much hang out together playing tag, hide and seek, red rover, kickball, baseball, or even "army" (with toy guns no less). We went fishing in the nearby pond. We took long bicycle trips (over 20 miles) to nearby exurban towns and swam in local rivers. Camp was one week at boy scout camp ($25 per camper per week). Mom's involvement might be driving us all to the beach for the day on her day off (with the mandatory stop for ice cream on the way home).We built models, and blew them up with firecrackers. board games occupied rainy days. And of course, there were all the books I read. Simply heaven. I am quite sure I would not want to be a kid today. If we depended on our parents to provide activities for us, all they would come up with were chores, so we quickly learned not to ask. Maybe some helpful ideas here for the open minded.
27
@Ben I remember that too. However, in a lot of the houses of the kids that were running wild all over the neighbourhood, there was a mother... who was at home all day.
Quite often she didn't want even her kids in the house, let alone the whole crew, but she was there, and there was another mother in the next house and the next... there were many adults around.
That isn't the case today. Because those mothers were home, they generally knew each other and knew who all the kids were too. Today, I think most parents would be hard put to name 1 in 5 of the kids or their parents that live in their area.
The solution is civic run day care using municipal/church/school/other community spaces. It won't happen for the same reason that any cooperative venture that benefits the middle/poorer classes, like universal healthcare, doesn't happen.
2
Much of my generation (I’m late 50’s) grew up in summers completely unorganized by parents (except for the perennial but very frugal off-to-the-relatives family vacation). It was wonderful. Those endless summers playing and exploring from dawn to dusk with our pack of neighborhood boys and girls (plus some dogs and cats) are the fondest memories of my childhood. Granted times have changed, but just a suggestion — let summers be summers and kids be kids.
31
I am disappointed by this coverage. How millions of families provide care for their children for almost one-quarter of the year is a serious issue, with economic, gender and educational implications. For children of privilege, it can be 12 weeks of enrichment, with a hefty price tag for parents. For those less fortunate, summer results in lost learning and a growing knowledge gap when school is back in session. And for women (who do most of the schlepping), patching together care over the summer can mean more lost productivity and yet another rationale for work-place discrimination. These are real, serious issues! Instead of treating this like bubble-gum topic, how about taking a hard, critical look. Just because it has to do with women and children does not mean it is not important!
59
In Germany, where I am from, summer holidays last a mere six weeks. Schools now stay open at least three of these six weeks to offer kids all sorts of activities at a very low cost.
In Italy, where we live now, summer is ten weeks. Most people rely heavily on granddads and grandmas who whisk the kids off to the sea as soon as school finishes. Alternatively, kids go to (fantastic but expensive) day camps. And then, for those better off, there is always the au pair and / or the tata, the nanny.
My husband and I both work in education so we have these wonderful long weeks off too. I assure you, however, that by the end of them we are well aware why there are species on this planet who eat their offspring alive.
21
@Isabel
This might be the case in Milan which is also where I brought up my children but Milan is not representative of Italy just as New York City does not define the States. Public schools stay open until the last week of July and many churches propose a day camp program. Companies who are geared towards their employees offer an array of day camps at reasonable costs. Not everyone has a house by the sea and not all grandparents (some of them still working and others too old to adequately care for small children) are willing to keep a child for a 3-month stay over. I suggest that you take a trip outside the Milan area and see how approximately 90% of Italian kids spend their summer vacations.
In my suburban Boston community, my summer planning starts in December or January when the popular private camps open enrollment to past campers. We often do one two-week session of one of these more expensive camps because of their terrific facilities, programs, and staffing. To balance cost, we usualky send our kids to less expensive camps for most of the rest of the summer - either town-sponsored camps or camps run by the YMCA or JCC . The town camps are the least expensively, but these are very popular and some fill up within minutes of registration opening in February. We’ve gotten spots in some of these camps by being competitively prepared for the insane online registration process. I set up my online account days before, put the date on my calendar, add lots of alerts, and get to my computer to registers online at least 15 minutes before the enrollment opens. I’m grateful to have so many public and nonprofit camp options as these help to keep our summer costs from being absolutely crazy. Despite the stress and headache of all the organizing and cost, I’m glad that my kids get to switch gears in the summer from academics to creative, athletic, and outdoor activities. I also think that it’s great for them to be able to get away from the social scene at school for a period of time. In an ideal world, camps would be available for all kids and families at no cost for poorer families and at low cost for families with the ability to pay.
1
As a single self-employed mother of two, this is a major stressor!
I start planning in February and I probably spend 20 hours trying to figure out how to make this chaotic puzzle turn into a
Picture of me earning money without losing
My mind, while my kids have an enjoyable summer experience.
I wish there was 3 hours of school every morning during the summer, 9am-12pm and then a long lunch and recess followed by arts, music, outdoor games and swimming, at the school. Pick up at 4pm. With 2 weeks off after memorial day and before Labor Day.
I totally believe that this is an untapped market and cannot understand why this isn’t happening in our communities? Why is every camp only one week long?? In Vermont if someone was able to provide this summer long care, I bet they could take a long holiday after the summer with their earnings!
9
@Sarah And how many parents could afford it?
1
@Sarah I was thinking the same thing. Great business opportunity.
Is summer really three months? Where we live it seems more like two, or a bit more: mid-June to mid-August.
8
Our daughter went to a year-round school through 5th grade. It was designed for working parents. It was FABULOUS! 2 weeks off in late August, 2 weeks off at Christmas, and one week off in spring. And, NO HOMEWORK! They did not see any evidence that homework in elementary school got kids ahead. Just Read, Read, Read.
When our daughter completed sixth grade and had her first traditional summer, she thought it was way too long. Would Have preferrd a month—for a soccer camp and a little down time.
BTW, she was so excited to finally have homework in middle school. Bonus, a joy of learning. Now a rising college junior majoring in math.
13
"So many ideas"? I'm a little taken aback by the breezy, upbeat note at the end. The school year was designed for a time when women weren't supposed to work outside the home and hasn't changed. The current summer situation is a total disaster for working families who are already stretched to the limit after using their vacation days on a snow day here, a half-day there during the school year. Let's call it what it is -- a major driver of inequality in the workplace.
46
Here's how we did it:
1. Homeschooling - our child spent an average of 3 hours a day, every day of the year.
2. There was no question of 'summer camp' as such, since he participated in tennis, swimming, basketball, soccer, gymnastics, art, science, piano, violin, trombone, drums and percussion throughout the year. Of course, he did not do all the aforementioned simultaneously.
3. And yes, we are not addicted to the mainstream opiates - religion, TV and entertainment.
6
Here's how I did it:
1. Plan very early. I started my spread sheet in mid-December.
2. Coordinate with friends, so that you have carpool options. I was lucky in that the six adults in the three families had different flexibility in their work schedules, so we didn't have to rely on the (expensive) after-care at the camps but could instead let the kids hang out at someone's house.
3. Did I say plan early?
6
Yes to #1. Our local camps start sign-up in January, so we figure out the summer then.
This.
"“My dream would be for the kids to be home most of the summer, scheming with the neighborhood kids, learning how to get around safely, like taking the bus — which I did at a fairly young age by myself".
The only reason we DON'T do this is imaginary fear in our own minds. Disproven statistically over and over yet we cling to the fear mindset and stick them in front of screens (infinitely more trouble esp with kids getting online in early elementary).
16
That's pretty much what my kids did when they were younger. I can't believe the angst and worry. Let them be kids! I also understand that big cities pose a problem..... I live in a town of 65,000 folks. There's lots of folks that would have/would call us "free-range" parents.
4
My husband is a teacher so my kids can run around the neighborhood. No other kids are home. They are all in camps because their parent work. There also isn't the same density of kids that there were a couple decades ago.
26
Wow, 12 weeks! I felt like it was difficult enough to organise six. The flip side of the shorter summer is in London kids have a break every six weeks, which seems sensible as my five year old is quite worn out after six weeks of school but is a bit of a nightmare in a family where both parents work.
This summer we have a carefully choreographed schedule of vacation care clubs, grandparent visits and family time. I think my son will have a good time and it will fly past.
2
We are very lucky here in the suburbs east of Sacramento. My 10-year-old attends a summer day camp at a private school most weeks. The camp makes full use of the park next door, includes two field trips every week, serves great lunches an snacks, and has great supervision/behavior/discipline policies, all for only $250 per week. This year, we also mixed in sailing $345/week) and two weeks of Academic Talent Search classes ($350 week, 2 1/2 hours per day) for gifted kids as the state university. I’m home this summer but we’ll carpool with friends next year. We pickup friends when needed. Summer break is only 9 weeks for us, and we start planning and signing up for camps about 3 months before school ends.
2