The tittle got my attention . My ex left me to go back to his ex wife. The different is that his ex wife is still alive and it’s a real going back together. Anyway, it’s a good kind of different modern love column.
29
The combo of poignancy and humor, the bigheartedness of the writer, made this truly a great Modern Love. May love smile upon Judith Newman again.
95
Whatever gets you thru life ... and the afterlife.
6
Judith, This is such a touching tribute to your husband and your deep love of him. It speaks to a large heart (yours) and also a certain sardonic sense of humor.
Best to you and your boys in this new chapter, from another who has loved deeply and lost a great deal. There are fantastic moments on the other side of grief! Bon chance.
56
Love this story! Caused me to flashback to a visit I made to the famous Mount Auburn Cemetery in Watertown, MA to locate the grave of a crooked Armenian judge who took a huge bribe to "fix" a case that went before him. I knew the guy who bribed the judge. Just wanted to be sure he was dead...
I was in the office at the cemetery where I obtained a map of the graves and where to find the judge's spot. Into the office came a 40ish man looking for a particular.grave. This is a huge cemetery! Packed with important historical figures. I began walking...and at some point ran across the 40ish guy. He began talking. Told me he was to visit on-the-sly his first wife's grave. Said he had remarried and new wife would kill him if she found he'd been to the grave. Said he really only loved the #1 wife. Said #2 was a pain the ass. And we parted. Real world story. Plain and simple. Amen!
51
Adore this story.
25
Judith Newman, you are my favorite writer!
16
Merely my take: our mortal remains are not us. Personalities will continue to dance their dances, souls will do what they will, everything is all. Peace.
22
Translated, I am sure the expression was:
That will help as much as cupping (bonkes) will help a corpse,
6
What a (bitter)sweet, loving and funny piece. Thank you so much.
24
What a joy to read ! Thank you !
12
And you are left with ALL the unanswered questions
6
Wonderful story, written with humor and love. Well done, Judith Newman. Those of us who have been married more than once can easily identify with your situation. You handled it well.
37
Really lovely, funny and so wise and big-hearted! Thank you! There's always enough love for all of us - past, present, and future.
21
You've been blessed with a loving husband and a sense of humor. Thank you for sharing them with us. I loved this essay!
28
Good for her. I think it takes great character to step outside herself like this.
20
Humor helps us when all else fails, I think
A deathbed confession is one thing- a deathbed request out of the blue for a special mission another.
This sounds too much like a long term relationship I have had with a "good" but totally emotionally self-centered man - the latter meaning that he doesn't listen and often cannot hear others -- the first, because he tried to do the right thing and generally did.
But I don't know if I could handle the final care for a man who was so ornery -- for him. For your sons, yes.
Your friend's strategy --hmm - brilliant.
As @ Marlon says, this could be an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
24
A laugh-out-loud and poignant piece - all at the same time. As another reader (Thomas Sanchez) commented, ‘just like life’ itself. Thank you!
19
This was the most clever, funny column I've read in a long time.
Thanks you, Ms. Newman!
32
I'm not crying you're crying.
16
This was hilarious, especially the part about John being sure you'd go first, despite the 30 years age difference. Also your son's remark that the good news is, now you get to be the favorite parent. A death story that is funny, sweet and life-affirming — thank you!
95
brilliant writing and a bittersweet story...as is life.
28
Wonderful, touching, inspiring piece ! I hope I will have the author's equanimity and sense of humor when faced with death. I am retaining the idea of keeping money aside for a party after my death : )
13
I'm so sorry for your loss. That was an excellent piece of writing. You are not too old to find love again.
19
I love this story so much. Sounds like you had a very unique and wonderful relationship. Thank you for sharing this.
33
This is heartwarming! I am not crying. Much love to all of you!
22
It's curious that Jacob was buried with Leah, not Rebecca.
7
Do you mean Rachel?
2
According to Rashi, who was the most renown interpreter of the Torah, Jacob buried Rachel where he did, because he was commanded by God to do so, so when the Jewish people were in captivity, they would pass her grave. According to the Medrash, when the Jews who were in captivity did pass Rachel's gave, Rachel came out of her grave, and spoke to the Jewish people, and beseeched God to help his people. "Rachel Me'Vakeh Al Bane'hah " (In Hebrew.).
That is the reason Jacob was not buried with Rachel, his true love. He was tricked into marrying Leah by Laban, the father of Leah and Rachel. He had never wanted to marry Leah, in the first place.
8
Lovely! I, too, consigned my late husband back to his first wife - of nearly 50 years - after his final goodbye. They rest side by side in their church’s shady columbarium, after a touching burial for which his sons dug the grave, and I had the honor of dropping a handful of the red clay and rose petals from the garden of our last home. I’m happy to think of them together again. His first wife was an old friend, whom I adored. Loving, funny, irreverent, generous, and devoted to their family. They belonged together for as long as possible in life, and forever after.
119
A lovely essay about a truly lovely man.
17
You're kidding, right? Sounds like an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm.
43
A perfect definition of true love: when humor can carry your loved one to the other side.
46
What a marvelous article. Funny, but poignant. Loving and wise. I read it three times and will read it again. Newman is such a splendid writer
71