I'm a woman. No man dressing up in heels knows anything about it. When I wear pants am I expressing maleness? Someone who is male and feels like a "girl" knows nothing about it. I think it's insulting that being female to some male who decides that's what he really is, is thought of as "I always loved putting on dresses; or I don't like rough sports" or some other nonsense.
43
I know I will be vilified as intolerant, but as a born female, I feel like what it means to be female has been diluted and devalued, reduced to a "feeling" or make up and high heels. There's something safe about being around all-females, whether it's in school or at an all-female gym. I like men, don't get me wrong, but there are times when it's nice to just be among other females. The new inclusion is probably great for transgender students but radically alters the dynamic for girls. Being a girl naturally and being a transgender girl are not the same things. They are two different experiences and I'm not sure why mixing those two experiences is a good idea.
96
My daughter has attended since 5th grade, an all-girls private school in Pasadena, CA established in 1913. She will graduate in 2019. Our school community is similar to Brearly in this article.
Over the years and as the transgender rights movement has expanded, our school has had to grapple with the issues of a few students transitioning into male identities. One left the school to attend a co-ed high school, and a couple others have remained, fully embracing their male identities. I expect there to be a few each year from now on, but who cares?
This has not impacted the school's focus on providing the dynamic that comes with an all-girls school. It has, instead, strongly underscored the school's mission of teaching the students tolerance, acceptance, courage, individualism, community ethos, and service to others.
As a parent, and someone similarly unsure, like you, about how all this would play out, I've been inspired and enlightened by what has happened. The environment of girls empowering one another through their actions and behaviors is incredibly moving. These young women are poised to move out into the larger world full of strength, compassion, fearlessness, and kindness. They embody the best of what it means to be an enlightened human, regardless of how they identify sexually. In the end, that's exactly the kind of education we signed up for. I can only wish for other families with girls or boys, transgender or not, to experience that.
31
Hi, atb, I would point out that since you are in a big city -- Chicago -- you have probably encountered transgender girls and women already and just didn't know it. And it's likely you treated them as regular women and vice-versa. That's why I see the point as women feeling "less female" because of transgender women as sorta moot.
For me -- a person who was born as and is a woman -- knowing transgender women (they told me so: this is not a guess) has not altered who I am and how I feel at all. Above being female, I identify as human. Do you actually know any transgender women? Knowing someone personally might alter your views. Different is not dangerous.
9
Like you, I will not allow the many new pseudo-philosophies to undermine reality. But it is challenging.
15
In 1970 Ray Davies of The Kinks wrote a song which seems prescient. In Lola he wrote:
"Girls will be boys and boys will be girls
It's a mixed-up, muddled-up, shook-up world
Except for Lola, lo lo lo lo Lola"
How did he know?
6
I attended a women's college decades ago and my daughters attended an all girl's school in Manhattan.
The institutions I came to know fostered girls' and women's strength and independence, a sense of safety and freedom from social pressures of co-ed environments and deep bonds of friendship. My son had the same experience at his all boys' school.
But at a time when gender is self-defined, does it make sense for institutions to jump through hoops to figure out who qualifies as a girl or a boy?
My alma mater has a ten page explanation of who can apply for admission. Perhaps single-sex education will soon be a thing of the past.
9
What is the raison d'etre of a girls' school? Why do families choose to send their girls there, and what is the value, to the girls, of being at such a place?
Would it affect the girls' experience if it admitted a small number of boys? Would it change the character of the school? Would it make a difference to the experience or character if the school admitted students who identify as girls but at one time were boys? Would it make a difference to the experience or character if some of its students come to identify as, and have the appearance of, boys?
Trying to put myself in the place of a woman who chooses to be at a women's college and then finds that some of her fellow students either have been men or now identify as men, it occurs to me that such a policy may not be fair to the woman or serve the needs that she chose the college for. But what do I know? Do any women feel that way? I suppose it depends on why anyone chooses an all-female school in the first place.
As to Brearley, they can say as firmly as they like that they are remaining a girls' school, but I don't see how they can be one if not all their students are girls.
23
I firmly believe that children should not be allowed to "decide" such things as permanently changing their gender until after they have reached puberty (at the very least). I remember for several years while growing up (1960s) desperately wanting to be a boy. I played like and even looked like a boy. A few years later (in high school) I was perfectly happy being a girl. It was only a brief (tomboy) phase for me. I understand that for some children it will become permanent when they become adults, but they should not make that decision UNTIL they become adults - not have it forced on them by their parents or society.
46
Have you ever spoken with, read interviews with, or read about a transgender person under the age of 18? Or over? Please take a few minutes and do so. The fact that you're comparing your situation with that of a transgender person says everything: you're not one; they are. It's that simple. It's not about you.
19
From roughly age 3 to 4 -- late 1950s -- I decided I wanted to be a cowboy -- cow-BOY -- not a cowgirl. The cowgirl outfit they bought me went straight back to the store! I wanted boots, and a six shooter and PANTS. I slept with my gun and holster. I wore the plastic cowboy hat so much, it left a permanent dent in my forehead.
I also claimed I was a boy, and called myself by a boy name I got off of a TV western series. If anyone called me "little girl", I got really mad at them.
Fortunately this was about 1959 and people were sane, and my parents thought all this was hilarious. There are old B&W photos of me in my cowBOY getup, frowning and pointing a very realistic looking metal gun at the camera.
Of course, today....hysterical parents would have had me at the psychiatrist's office! claiming I was TRANSGENDER! and needed a sex change operation -- or drugs to prevent puberty!
By roughly age 5, this phase had passed. I still liked westerns and horses, but was very sure I was a girl. I wore dresses and went back to my real name, and played with dolls.
Thank GOD my parents LEFT ME ALONE.
16
Simple, they need money. Nothing more, nothing less.
7
These school are highly selective, turning away hundreds of students each year. Plus they have huge endowments...so they don’t need transgender dollars Maybe admitting transgender kids is just the right thing to do.
27
No -- they are very wealthy with huge endowments. This is ALL entirely about "political correctness".
12
Wait. So if you change your mind after you have been admitted and decide you’re not a girl, you still get to attend a school for girls?
I must be missing something.
46
It's important to note that no person "changes their mind" about which sex they want to end up being. Transgendered people often report feeling trapped in the wrong body, or have feelings of being awakened to their true sex, which is not the one they were born with. It's an incredibly fraught process that takes a toll mentally, emotionally and spiritually, on a person. It sometimes takes years and years of therapy to make peace with the decision to identify with the sex they were meant to be. It's extremely callous and disrespectful of you to classify it as "changing one's mind" . Perhaps read up on the subject a little more. Many transgendered teens suffer eating disorders, cut themselves, and attempt suicide on their way to finding their sexual identity. The least the rest of us can do is be a little empathetic about their struggle.
1
If you identify as a female , then decide to go back to identifying as a male, then yes, you are in fact changing your mind.
I’m sorry if the truth is callous.
18
Or does it mean that someone who identifies as a female and has male anatomy will be admitted as a female student?
Without some central philosophy founded on actual existence, pure intellectualism achieves its paradise: chaos.
23
Honestly, such schools ought to have to admit boys too. Isn't gender discrimination illegal?
7
Apparently you didn't read the word PRIVATE.
12
When I brought me daughter to interview there they didn't even want Jews, big change!
11
Al, you must be really old. I graduated from the school more than 50 years ago, and one third of my class was Jewish.
17
Gender has become pointless.
5
Well, according to you. Many differ.
7
Perhaps "meaningless" is a better word. Apparently we can now choose to be a different gender based on what day of the week it is.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2017/05/23/fluid-gender-policeman/
I misunderstood the meaning of your comment. Sorry for sniping.