As a Stacy, I have the opposite problem. People assume I a bubble headed moron. Stacy is always the bird brained idiot. She's a cheerleader who can barely form coherent sentences.
I am doomed.
18
It's my name from my mums and paps hearts
7
My father was Arthur Daley, Sports of the Times columnist until his death in 1974. He hated his name. Consequently he named his children (well my mother had some say in it) Robert, Kevin, Patricia and Katharine. He winced if a new grandchild had a "different" name or a "different" spelling.
Funny how such a thing could affect so much in one's lifetime. If it makes any difference, I don't like my name much either. This weekend I'm celebrating my 50th college reunion and I swear every other woman in my class had some variation of Kathy.
At least you were the only Arthur you knew. Despite that, every time my father called someone on the phone, he said, "Arthur Daley of the NYTimes."
14
Thanks Arthur for the hilarious article. PS my dad was Arthur and a wonderful doctor, a GP. And my father in law was also Arthur, a pilot and squadron commander in WW2 who received two DFCs. So you are in great company. Enjoy your name !!
11
I was named after my grandmother and so was my only female cousin from my father’s family. Beatriz and I were very close and we lived together for a little time. It was fun! We also have the same unusual French family name which we both kept when we got married. She died at 54 a few months ago. She was Bea, I was Bia. I am the only now and yes, I love my name!
8
I was given three last names for a name, followed by a Roman numeral. When I was young I thought it somehow made me special, but later I realized it was mainly just pretentious. I got married, hyphenated my last name and dropped the Roman numeral, so now I have 4 last names for a name. Sheesh. But I'm still attached to my family nickname, Splinter.
13
I feel a bit sheepish at how quickly I clicked on this headline.
For years I've been ambivalent about the unusual spelling of my first name - and it's one I chose! Or rather, a middle-school pretension of mine was codified into adulthood. Every few years I think: should I change it back? I've Googled how to do it, what legal steps I'd need to take. It appears easy to do.
And yet...I've lived for decades with this name, and it's how everyone but my older sisters know me. What about employment history, academic records, etc.? I torture myself about all this for a few days, then turn my attention back to more pressing matters...until the next time the question comes up.
On one level a First World Problem, sure. But as you say, names are important and inform our core identity.
FWIW, I like the name Arthur.
(David Brooks...ha ha.)
13
Since Arthur the author states: 'So if your son is in trouble after beating up another kid, it’s probably your own fault for naming him “Robin.” ' As a boy I loved my name and would read the exciting stories of my original namesake, Robin Hood. And I was proud of the fact that my father had named me after a fastball pitcher who rose to fame in the Fifties, "Rapid" Robin Roberts.
Later in adolescence when I began receiving mail addressed to "Miss Robin ..." it became almost too mortifying for a thirteen-year old boy. I never beat up an "Arthur" or any other boy because of his name, though was myself a victim of enough taunts. Oddly, in the rest of the anglophone world "Robin" is generally presumed to be male. It's only in the U.S. that the presumption is toward female. I'm not sure why, but my hypothesis is that during the world wars U.S. servicemen in Britain were exposed to the name and then came home and named their daughters "Robin." Over time I developed a list that I pull out from time to time of famous masculine Robins: Robin Hood, Christopher Robin from the children's stories, rock god Robin Trower, comic genius Robin Williams, and of course the eternal lusty archetype Robin Goodfellow. Today I proudly strive to emulate the original meaning of Robin: "bright fame."
Oh, yeah, another interpretration is "King of the Witches." So I'm good at this point.
13
"Adolf" has experienced a calamitous decline in recent years.
"Donald" is about to take a very precipitous fall.
I see good things ahead for "Ivanka," "Roseanne," "Meghan," "Kim" and "Brad."
People adopt the role models presented to them by gossip magazines,
10
A future comedian's parents couldn't decide what to name her since both of her mother's sisters wanted the honor of giving the child her name. They compromised and thus Zasu Pitts started her life. If you don't want stodgy go for antic.
Anyway, you could always have gone with Art or Artie as a grade school chum of mine did. Nothing stodgy there.
3
The only Arts I can think of are Art Garfunkel Art Donivan and the Artie being Artie Shaw. All top of their respective fields of course, but a long time ago. Lol.
5
I developed an antipathy to my name because 98% of people mispronounced it. When I corrected people during my adolescence, I was considered annoying. It got so that introducing myself caused me to inwardly cringe, as people would mispronounce my name right back at me. Eventually, I legally changed my name. I like my new name better. People mispronounce it too sometimes, but it doesn't press the buttons that 4 decades of having people slaughter the name my mother gave me do.
10
I also have always hated my first name, Toni. I am a woman, but am weary of having to correct people when they spell my name Tony--a man's name. I feel for all those with "unisex" names and am certain many of them feel the same as I. When my daughter was born, I named her a common girl's name with no ambiguity.
13
Huh? You never heard of the Kabalarians and their philosophy of names?
4
Not to be mean, because I like this piece, but your name matches your ideas if you are the head of the American Enterprise Institute.
15
Be thankful you don't have one of those idiotic "hip" names parents are saddling kids with. And sorry, if your first name has more than two sylibles I'm not going to say it, you're wasting my time.
14
I like my name. I've been called things that I prefer much less.
8
"One of my favorite onomastic studies comes from the economist David Figlio" who would not have needed a study if he had listened to Johnny Cash's song "A Boy named Sue".
9
My parents used the first initial of their foreparents and then my mother said how she would feel calling out the backdoor for us to come home for dinner
4
I don't like my name because it's not mine I was told, it's my father's.
7
When I moved to the South nobody got my name right. It's Paul with a NY accent. Pawl. Southerners pronounce it paal. And that morning drink is cawfee.
11
Arthur sounds intelligent, old fashioned and elegant. You've been spending too much time on the Internet. Just saying.
23
My father liked to joke that they were planning to name me Cornelia Otis Kenner. Thankfully, they refrained.
Instead, I was named Caroline Kenner......and I grew up in DC during the Kennedy administration, where I am older than Caroline Kennedy by less than a year.
Timing, people!!
10
One advantage to an uncommon name is that it serves as a mini-IQ test for the people one meets.
9
Winthrop D.Allen III, I went to Catholic schools to be occasionally harassed by teachers, mostly Irish. I did tag my kid with IV, but the grandbrat has not been similarly endowed.
4
In 1951 it seems the most popular names were Robert and Patricia. There were 7 Roberts in my 7th and 8th grade home room class. And there were a lot of girls named Patricia with the middle name of Ann.
I ignored all the Josephs, Anthonys, Vincents, Marys since it was an Italian Catholic neighborhood.
By the way my great grandfather's name was Policarpio.
7
I renamed myself at age 8. You could have done the same!
8
My name is Arthur, and I like it just fine. One reason might be that I don’t work for the American Enterprise Institute.
14
Don't feel bad Mr. Brooks - you could have my name. I am the third and last generation of Lucien. I have endured all sorts of pronunciations and spellings (Lunchon is one of my all-time favorites). Many people cannot tell if my name is male or female resulting in advertisements and letters directed to Ms. Dhooge. My favorite - the housing department at the university I attended dropped the last letter of my first name from my freshman housing application. As a result, the letter confirming my dorm reservation assigned me three female roommates. Ever the killjoy, my mother made me contact the university and change the assignment.
34
You don't mention if you're ever called "Art"; I always thought that was the usual nickname for Arthur and not nearly so bad as Arthur.
4
Part II:
But as bad as Arthur and George are, just imagine having, like me, an unusual given name that has to be spelled, and pronounced, for every person you meet, every customer-care representative you speak to on the phone, making your name a topic of conversations you’d rather not have.
I’ve often said that, had I the power of speech at birth, I’d have demanded of my parents — who named me for a grandfather I never met — don’t try to be cute, clever or original; call me Michael, call me David. Give me an ordinary name I don’t have to explain to people and, as I grow older, I will take care of my individuality in my own good time (which I, and probably most of those who know me, think I’ve more than done).
In the end, this is really less about names than it is about being a good parent, part of which is understanding that valid reasons for having children do not include insuring there are enough hands to milk the cows, conduct the fall harvest, take care of you in your old age, or prove to any and all how clever you can be in naming a kid. An awkward name isn’t a legacy, it’s a burden.
And if you’re about to have a child and you already have an awkward name? Don’t even THINK of calling him or her “junior,” which, even when your name is perfectly agreeable, is an exercise in unalloyed narcissism.
12
I named my daughter Freya, which is common in Scandinavian countries, but less well known here. She wears it like flowers in her hair.
13
"She wears it like flowers in her hair."
Oh, how wonderful to have that feeling about one's name!
19
Names are are integral to one's sense of self at any age, as well as how the world responds in many instances. Names don't just ID us, they speak volumes about family, good and bad and everything in between. My mother's family keeps recycling family names, while my father's family doesn't. My mother believed she'd "failed" by giving birth to a girl, so she refused to participate in naming me. After nearly a week and unable to understand her antipathy toward their newborn, a 2nd child several years after the much coveted son, my father did what he though would melt her icy heart: He gave me her name and a middle name of her mother. Fifty years later, she died without any thaw and little recognotion she had a daughter. Thus, even as a child I thought it was interesting how parents look down at their newborn and tag it with something wholly in their own head, family tree or culture. It's the naming version of Faulkner's "the past is never dead, it's not even past". It's also the only time parents really truly control their child. ;-)
13
My mother chose an unusual name for me because she sensed that I would be an unusual child. Then she spent the first 30 years of my life trying to persuade me to behave like a "normal" girl.
I think she has gotten used to me--either that, or she gave up.
Parents, think long and hard before choosing an unusual name for your new baby. Are you sure you are up for raising an unusual child?
13
My grandmother had something like thirteen pregnancies and eleven live births as well as two stepchildren. My mother was maybe the ninth baby, and her mother had by then stopped caring about baby names and let other people do the naming. Mom's never known who was responsible for naming her Beulah, and has tried to avoid the name for at least 85 of her ninety years, going by Bea to people who haven't known her all her life. She didn't even get a middle name to possibly flee to. She never tried to make the case that anyone should name a granddaughter or great-granddaughter after her. We didn't.
18
My parents had an insurance agent named Peter Rabbit. As young kids we thought this was the funniest thing and teased him about his name when he came to the house- he did not seem to mind. During the visit my younger sister, a toddler, had got out on our second floor porch and was now sitting on the edge of the balcony. When my mother saw her she became paralyzed with fear, but Peter Rabbit calmly and quietly walked onto the porch and pulled her off the railing. Peter Rabbit saved the day! He is remembered fondly.
42
Heavens. So much angst over such a trivial matter.
You could get your name changed to "Richard" whenever you wished.
10
We gave our daughter my grandmother's maiden name as her middle name. It is Mlay. (Her first name is fine and normal) Everyone thinks it is missing a vowel and asks her about it. She hates it. But I wanted her to have some of her Easter European heritage.
At least I didn't name her Apple.
21
I have 7 granddaughters and none were named after me, Hermine, or my mother, Agatha. Yes, Agatha (Dutch) named me Hermine and she named my brother Arthur. Arthur named a kid Tristram Ambrose. When my daughter (middle name Hermine), graduated from high school, her cards read simply Janelle H. When I phoned her at college her friends would say "Herm is on the phone" (it was the nineties) and Herm had a good old crazy mother meaning. I sometimes do a mini stand up when asked how to pronounce my name, definitely giving TMI (too much information). Like Laurel in these comments, my name is pronounced differently in different places and by different accents. The Dutch and the Americans roll the "r" and the Brits and Aussies don't. In grade school (Down Under) mischievous school boys would say, Her Mine. About two weeks ago there was a Hermine on Jeopardy. Alex Trebec pronounced it Hermina. She played well but did not win.
6
Mr. Brooks, I enjoyed the gentle humor of your piece until I read the mini-bio at the end of it. Did the distress of being named Arthur cause you take it out on humanity by seeking to be president of the American Enterprise Institute? Being a toady of the Kochs and big oil? Champion of anti-environmentalism and climate change denial? Proponent of low, low taxes for the very wealthy and low, low life expectancy for the very poor? It's enough for me to wish you were named Chester.
64
That's uncalled for, uncivil and a just plain cheap shot, Jeff.
13
Mary, if Scott Pruitt wrote a sweet humor piece for the Times, should everyone swoon and say, "Jeez - he's not such a bad guy after all!"? Mr. Brooks presides over THE firm providing intellectual cover for the very worst excesses of industrial scale polluters. What the man does for a living is uncalled for and uncivil - for our civilization, especially our most vulnerable.
2
This article seems to limit itself to a narrow, Judeo-Christian, angle. I'm sure a sizable number of Americans still consider Arthur a "normal" name. On the other hand, millions of Americans don't have "Christian" names, and as a result, face real consequences. They may cherish the names their parents gave them, or wish for another. Regardless, society deems their names "abnormal," threatening their professional lives and social standing. Arthur Brooks writes, "it could be a lot worse." For much of the populace, it already is.
5
What a lovely article. As a Japanese American I'm always interested in the sheer diversity of names in the United States. I have a friend whose name is composed of a Japanese first name plus a Slavic surname, like the protagonist in the TV series 'Altered Carbon'.
I'm wondering if there's any article concerning Asian names?
10
My father had no middle name. On federal forms (he worked for the FAA) he had a n, for none.
3
I have to admit I don't understand why people who hate their names don't change them. The older you are, of course, the more difficult it is. For instance if you have a body of work under your name.
Something nice about being a transgender woman in transition is that I got to choose my name myself and got rid of the horrid male name I was given, even my mother hated it and always called me by my middle name.
10
Sounds like you may have bigger issues than disliking your name.....
1
Credit to Leath Tonino, inspired by Pai-chang --
Names, names, names. You’ve not got one, then your mother screams, then you do. Then a friend pinches your nose and it’s a new name. Then you live beneath a cliff, steep rock, some mountain wall, and it’s another. This one sticks, or at least you turn your head when called. But something doesn’t feel quite right. Lonely quiet hours in the night, you remember ducks, how they flew from somewhere to somewhere. At last, age takes what was never yours to keep. In ages to come, when eager young folks come calling, your head won’t turn.
13
"Names, names, names. You’ve not got one, then your mother screams, then you do." And when your mother screams . . . and calls you "Alice Jean" . . . you know you are really in trouble. This is why I have a "chosen" name:
Jeanne (my birth middle name with a French spelling)
Marie (my mother's birth middle name)
Hannah (her mother's birth middle name)
I've had 4 legal name changes: In response to the judge's required question at a hearing: ("Why are you changing your name?") I responded: "I find the last name '__________' personally and professionally inconvenient." He, knowing my ex-husband, laughed out loud.
5
That's cool, thanks.
2
Like my name . After got a Job with an American organization overseas, almost 50 years years ago . The given Daniel is spelled in English in many cultures differently . My nickname Dan short and easy , made me more comfortable .Though, some folks continue to spell the way they know it.
1
My grandmother was an Agnes and her sister was Inez- I’m sure it sounded better in French!
7
How interesting. In Spanish, Agnes is Ines.
10
My friend's young daughter is named Edith because they followed the tradition of naming the first child born after the last relative that died, his mother.
4
The interaction of naming conventions and culture is always so fascinating.
8
I've never liked my first name, although "hate" might be too strong a word for how I feel about it. I've just never felt it suits me.
I have hated my last name, but as an adult, I've grown attached to it. It is only five letters, but they are arranged in such as way as to make the name unpronounceable (I have trouble with it myself) and unspellable for all of America (in Hungary they have no trouble with it). It is spelled wrong so often, I have an email address set up with it misspelled that forwards to my correct email. I don't even both correcting people any more.
As a adult, I appreciate that my last name makes my name truly unique. If I Google my full name, the first four pages of search results are all me (and who gets to the the fifth page?). There are a handful of other women who have my name, but as far as I can tell, they all live in eastern Europe, so we don't travel in the same circles.
I have always hated that my first and last names are alliterative (and my middle initial is A, which only makes it worse). Don't do that to your kids; nothing good can come of it.
10
My German last name is unique, too. I worked for AT&T for several years - there are only 42 of us in the United States, but thousands of us in Germany. Now you can go online and pay a company to find anybody, so I haven't paid for an unlisted phone number for decades.
3
You win with a wife from Barcelona- I love that city. My husband has Arthur for a middle name- I always liked it.
3
I hated my name when I was young, because it was uncommon. That's precisely why I like it now. While it's still not common, I've heard it more in the last ten years or so than I ever had as a child. It doesn't tie me to any particular decade, though, and probably never will.
9
I was roundly laughed at as a child, when everyone was a Jennifer, but am regularly told, “Oh! what a nice name!” now that I am grown up. My name is much more popular with young children, and I now rarely meet a Jennifer. My children have none in their classes. Strange how trends come and go.
3
I chose Veronica as my Roman Catholic confirmation name! I love that name and always found her character in the Bible to be fascinating.
3
Could be worse: what if your last name was Legend, and your middle name was Ian?
6
Better than changing it to Cephas.
2
Sometimes it's just a matter of perspective. As a child, I loathed my last name, as did my siblings and cousins. By age 8 we were all sick of being called "Trip over your toe." It only got worse when Tiny Tim had a hit with "Tip-Toe Thru the Tulips." I always planned to change my name when I turned 21. But by then it was the hippie era, and everyone started calling me "Trip" -- and that was far out!
26
My name is Timothy and it was number 11 in popularity in the year I was born. Strangely, I was named after my grandfather, who's name was Howard. Tim was his nickname.
My mother did love telling me how she saved me from my Dad, who wanted to name me Enzo or other names of famous Italian race car drivers.
17
I am seven months pregnant with my first child.
My husband & I are stuck between two names for our soon-coming boy-child. One name is exceedingly conventional (but simple, one syllable, like his father), & the other is simple, one syllable, but unconventional (also like his father).
My husband's name is monosyllabic &he has no middle name. I had never heard his name prior to meeting him. It's a nice "sound" name- pleasing to the ears, but he has to repeat it twice to every person he meets. I remember thinking it was lovely when I met him.
So what to name our son? The everyman's name, or the unique by monosyllabic simple name like (but also unlike) his father’s? His father remembers hating his name for several years growing up, but then again, I hated mine- as one Whitney among 3 or 4 others in my school in the 80s, the one and only time Whitney was a semi-popular name. It seems folks with "old" names hate them for a time, and may come to love them. It seems those with common, popular names also can hate them, and it seems unique names can fall similarly on this spectrum. As long as the name does not have an obvious connotation, or a terrible rhyme, or unpronounceable or spellable--- I think most parents should breathe easily. After all, when my husband and I do fret about our name choice, we think, its likely our child will be surrounded by Blaydes, Cash's, Jaxsons and Logans. Could anything we choose be so terrible?
21
It's true - you can't go "wrong" with a John or Jack or Paul or Ted or Joe. I knew a woman who named her son Cooper, and 18 years later, I wonder how that child has fared (romance novel name?). We went back in the family tree to name our son (a monosyllabic great-grandfather's name), and he likes it because it is unique among today's Jasons and Noahs and Ethans and Jacobs.
Thank goodness parents no longer choose gemstones as names for their daughters - Ruby, Opal, or Pearl (or Marguerite, which means "pearl" from the French/Greek). And how funny do names such as Angus, Amos, Herbert, Wilbur and Edgar sound, although there may be a resurgence, what with our increasing interest in unearthing our ancestry.
When I learned that L.M. Montgomery, author of the "Anne of Green Gables" series, preferred her middle name "Maud" to her first name "Lucy," I was surprised. The name Lucy connotes lightness, light, happiness. The name Maud sounds so...stodgy.
3
Arthur -- The Once and Future King, The Round Table, The Grail Quest --- not bad.
Richard --- The Lion Heart, Crusader or Richard III (yes that guy).
Dad said my middle, Matthew, was for a Saint. Did not make that grade.
So what's in a name? Ask William.
Could have done worse -- ask any kid from Follywood,
2
Arthur, for what it's worth, I have always adored your name!
6
My parents were particularly diabolical. They chose to label me with such a common girls name that in the 7th grade my teacher was forced to call the five of us by last name to avoid all of us responding, but chose to spell it so that no one knows how to pronounce it. I've had people ask me if my name is short for Amelia to which I respond that no, it's long for Amy. After years of being annoyed that no one gets my name right when reading it for the first time I've finally developed a sense of humor about it. Things could be worse, I almost got named Martha after my great grandmother and then I would be stuck with a name that would age me much like Arthur.
9
@Ami, Portland, Oregon: I like Ami. When I see your posts--usually with gold or many recommends, I smile and think "friend."
10
I have always liked my name because it is symmetrical. Even my middle name has 5 letters. I am sure that my parents did not do this on purpose, it just happened.
6
I had a rather uncommon name which is pronounced differently in different regions of the country. I moved around a lot as a child. Laurel was my mother's favorite name so I liked her southern way (rhymes with Carl) and it felt 'wrong' when people said it the other way (rhymes with coral), about half the time. Much of my childhood was in the Northeast where folks often seemed to prefer calling me my last name. I let go the irritation due to the frequency but didn't develop any pleasure in the name until mid-life. Its uncommonness has advantages and I lived thru treatment of a stage 4 cancer which left me inclined to own one meaning of my name (victory). Still, the longer I live, the less I believe there is anything in a name, despite all the power attributed by Dale Carnegie et al to calling a person by their name. When I fell in love, it wouldn't have mattered a fig to me what name that soul was given or whether a number was assigned! And for all the names of God that wars are fought over, I doubt seriously that Divinity needs naming -- many beautiful sounds apply :-)
6
Growing up in the '70s I didn't hate my name, but I wished for a more common name (Jennifer or Elizabeth), something teachers didn't pause before saying and mispronounce or misspell, something with a lot of nicknames. Now, as an adult, I LOVE my name, I am usually the only "Jordana" in the room, the only one my friends know; when I call into a conference call at work, I don't need to say my last name. When I meet another "Jordana" we have an immediate bond (which I doubt the "Jennifers" or "Elizabeths" feel when they meet other Jennifers or Elizabeths). My name has never been on the social security top 1000 baby name website, and now, 40+ years after wishing I had a more common name, I'm so happy I don't!
10
I was supposed to be named Laura (which I love!) till my mom heard that a cousin was also naming her baby girl the same name. I got named something different. Unfortunately, it is a much more common name, and I am not fond of it, because of that. My younger sister got my name! Laura. Sigh..
6
Arthur is a noble name and the name of one my favorite characters, Lord Arthur Goring, in my favorite Oscar Wilde play, "An Ideal Husband". It'd be great if we all liked our name but we should likewise feel free to change it if we do not.
8
When I came to the US as an 11-year old, very shy, girl, I was stuck with a name that was hilarious here, and I knew I needed to change it immediately. I went by my new name from day one, and changed it legally when I became a US citizen. Never regretted it for a minute, and it's strange that when I go back to visit family, I'm the old name person again.
7
Not so bad? Arthur is one of the most renowned and honorable names in the history of Western civilization. Maybe it's just that the American Enterprise Institure despises anything that comes from Western Europe.
6
Names can be funny in what they conjure. Yes, Arthur sounds old on a little boy. But Arthur C. Brooks sounds awesome, frankly.
When young I hated my three letter name because it couldn't be abbreviated into something cute like Sandy, Joanie, Callie, Dee - all friends of mine. And I was the only one I knew with this name until well into adulthood. Inelegant, nondescript I thought; It was flat, no lilting or rolling off the tongue, just boring. Many decades later I now find people's immediate reactions to my name surprisingly pleasant, and while I still wish I were a willowy Casandra or lovely Amera, I've realized there are worst names I could have than Joy Breeze. It did, however, put a stop to my youthful dream of naming a baby daughter April. Having sons only put another damper on it. At the time Courtney was still a boy's name, and I would have chosen it for my first son. During that pregnancy Vicki Lawrence of the wildly popular Carol Burnett Show had a baby girl and named her that. By the time he was born, Courtney had become the #1 choice for girls' names. Whew!
I was the 3rd child and Mom was at a loss for a name. I was a surprise but come on, she still had nine months to think of one. I was three days old before I was named, and only because the hospital was pressuring her to name me so she could go home. Because Dad laughed so hard at the funny faces I made as a newborn, Mom went with it. I'm still facially animated, to put a nicer spin on it.
10
I love the name April! To me, it is timeless and beautiful. Also Averil.
2
Joy, your story made me smile and thing of how my youngest sister was named. Dad had just been sent home by the Navy--near the end of WWII--because he had three children at home. Mom got pregnant again. They decided to name the baby after Dad, John Fredrick Schmittgen, because, after having 3 girls--all about one year apart), they were determined that this baby would be a boy.
But she wasn't--a boy, I mean. Trouble in River City. Having to come up with a girl's name on short notice, they named her Jill F. Schmittgen. (They could think of a female name beginning with "F" and thought she could choose her own middle name when she grew up.)
So I (age 5) went to Kindergarten and during Show & Tell, stood up and proudly announced: "We have a new baby at our house." After, prompted by the teacher, I said her name, the teacher asked me: "What does the "F" stand for? I am told that I put my hands on my hips and announced indignantly: "Well, "finished," don't you know?" [Obviously, I'd been lurking and heard an adult conversation.]
That story got home before I did.
5
Call yourself Jocko. That will solve it!
6
There's a wonderful story about "Arthur"- My grandfather, born before 1900, was named Percy LeRoy Hicks. He hated it.
As child, writing letters to him I was firmly instructed to use:
Roy, Grampa Roy.
When he needed to become registered for Social Security, he needed his Birth Certificate. He would have been at least 70.
He found in town records, his birth, and to his (and all) surprise, his name was Arthur Hicks.
Story was, at birth, his Dad was instructed to go register him.
His Mother favored Percy LeRoy. His Father couldn't/didn't-- and entered Arthur, his Mother never knew.
So he spent a lifetime of dragging around a name he hated, and would have preferred Arthur!!
26
My glory, that sounds a bit like the denoument of 'The Importance of Being Earnest'! A great play that is perhaps the definitive exploration of Juliet's question, 'what's in a name?'
5
Go by Art or Artie; makes it sound a little younger.
1
I've got to feel for other's like me who are on the far end of the spectrum, with a name so unique that one lives a lifetime trying to figure out what to do with it. Many simply go for a nickname or eschew their given name entirely. I'm not sure why I didn't go that route. Perhaps it was out of a sense of loyalty to the father I lost at age 9. I am, after all, a Jr., named after him.
I used to find some solace in Johnny Cash's tune "A Boy Named Sue," wherein the father names his son with the idea that making his life difficult will in some way help him grow up without a father. Even though it's a funny song, there is, of course, a core of truth at its center.
In a variation of Dale Carnegie's observation, there are times when my name can sound sweet to me. It happens when I am called by name by a good friend. Perhaps sweetest of all, though, is when I've heard my name from the lips of a woman who desires me.
9
My mother always hated her name, so it was very important to her that each of her children have names that were easy to pronounce and spell, hard for strangers to arbitrarily shorten, not so common there would be three more in our class at school but common enough that people would have heard the name before. She did a great job on all of our names and I've been grateful to avoid the pitfalls of constantly having to repeat, remind and correct people about my name.
5
My mother named me Melissa in 1947. This was not a common name then and my grandmother (born in 1892) hated it at first because she grew up with a Melissa who was what we would now call "a mean girl."
My high school graduating class had over 600 students and I was the only Melissa. I never met another one until I was 31. I am now 71 and Melissas are everywhere. When I go to the grocery store and some mother yells "Melissa, get over here!" I immediately spin around in response. If she had added my middle name, Jane, that would have been the topper.
And the spelling has evolved to reflect perhaps an attempt at making the name more unique: Malissa, M'Liss, Melisa, etc. The one thing my mother would not tolerate was the nickname "Missy." I tend to agree with her on that. I wish she had been as firm with my older brother when he used his favorite appellation for me. "Butthead." Oh, well. Can't have everything.
8
It is funny, though, how changing one letter can change one's impression of a name. Perhaps this is just me, but - just to use a couple of examples - I dislike the name Melinda, but if you change it to Malinda, I see and hear it in a whole new light. Remember when many Linda's suddenly became Lynda's, Robin became Robyn, etc.? I am very fond of the name Catharine, but if you spell it Catherine it is totally different and unacceptable. (And Katherine - never!) Isabelle - no. Isabel - yes. (Isobel, definitely no.) Natalie - terrible name. Nathalie - very cool name! And so forth.
And then there's the whole cultural pride angle - a British friend once informed me that it was a terrible crime to spell the distinguished name "Siobhan" "Chevonne," or to change the venerable "Sean" to "Shawn."
4
You are lucky to have a name with one of the most beautiful songs ever written in the rock era, by Gregg Allman.
2
My name's Arthur, and I like it. It was the name of my grandfather, too.
6
My husband wanted to give a tribute to the brother that died in infancy before my husband was born. He told me that the brother's name was Frederick. So if our child was a boy, his middle name would be Frederick. I told my mother-in-law this, thinking she would be pleased. She said that her deceased son's name was Ferdinand, actually. My husband decided against honoring his brother by inflicting that name - even as a second name - on our child. He said, "Ferdinand would understand".
9
I like the name Fernanda for a girl.
3
I hate my name. I hate my nicknames even more. I hate that there is a doll with one of my nicknames. Even my mother says that she regrets choosing my name; she and her sister agreed to name their daughters after each other. The other name is beautiful.
Every time I have moved, and as military, I've moved lots, I have insisted that people call me by my full name, not any of the nicknames. It seldom works.
But at least my mother did not choose the other name under consideration: Tammy.
9
Dear Arthur,
As a Matthew (sometimes Matt, or even Matty), I, too, have had my ups and downs with my name. Let me give you a few reasons why I love yours.
Arthur, starring Dudley Moore and Liza Minelli, the only movie I ever sat through twice in a row, paying separate admissions.
Arthur in the Afternoon, a bouncy love song (of sorts) by Kander & Ebb, of Cabaret/Chicago fame.
And while he may not be your favorite historico-mythical figure because because he's the odd (old?) man out in a certain love triangle, the Arthur of The Once and Future King and Camelot has quite a hold on my heart. Which is why I urge you to acquaint yourself with Arthur Phillips (born on Shakespeare's birthday), whose splendid Chinese box of a novel The Tragedy of Arthur (2011) included an entire, very believable "rediscovered" Shakespeare play by the same name, as well as a narrator named for the author.
And let's not forget the futurist Arthur C. Clarke, perhaps best remember for that space odyssey 2001. And you and he even share an initial!
You're in good company. And to think your could have been David Brooks instead.
10
I have always believed that our name can have a profound effect on our psyche, and hearing it over and over evokes something.
For this reason -- for almost spiritual reasons -- I changed my name. Legally. Yes, it's a bit of a hassle with all the paperwork, but I don't know why more people don't do this.
I later found out that the name I had chosen was the name my mother had wanted to give me, but my father -- who was emotionally abusive -- talked her out of it.
We have a right to decide how we want to be addressed.
27
I'm with you, Jessica, and unfortunately my last name is so unusual (Geerman) that most people - not even friends - can spell it. I seriously considered changing my name to Clare (my middle name) Connor (maiden name of my father's maternal grandmother). It's a lot of work and I commend you for doing it. My oldest sister and I didn't speak for several years, and when we reconnected I learned that she had changed HER last name to the maiden name of our maternal grandmother. L'chaim, right?
7
What would the NY Times do if both you and the other guy were named David Brooks?
31
My last name is Goodsell and I work in sales. Every coworker and the vast majority of my customers feel the need to comment on my last name. To have the same conversation over and over and over again has been my special little slice of hell.
18
I have a very unusual German last name. (If you ever get into an antique Mercedes, the analog clock bears my name.) Etiquette demands that you do not comment, and I would never say a word to you about your name. When I was in 4th grade, I had a wonderful teacher who taught us that if someone spells their name "C-A-T" and pronounces it "Dog," you must honor that. I've never forgotten that lesson.
12
just think - he could have named you Sue!
6
This would explain why the guy named "Girley" some years back in Oregon was in so much trouble and eventually. Became a murderer.
Why didn't you all change your names?
2
It is a lot of work (costs $$$), and also very difficult to get people to adjust to a different name. I knew a Debbie in college who decided she wanted to be Deborah "from now on" when she was in her 30s and it took me about 15 years to remember, kind of like remembering the married names of your female friends whom you knew by their maiden names for decades.
5
I've always liked my name. And that includes the years of my youth, many moons ago, when the Menace was attache to it on an obnoxiously regular basis. If I didn't, I would have changed it a long time ago.
Now, Arthur, I don't know if you know this, but back in WWII, many men named Adolph changed their name. One such person was Adolph Marx. The World knows him better as Harpo Marx. I'd say you were in pretty good company.
Accordingly, if my name were Donald, I wouldn't hesitate a New York minute. I would immediately change it.
History will see the name Donald gradually disappear. It will become as obscure as Adolph. You just wait and see.
DD
Manhattan
55
We're glad you're not David Brooks.
One is enough.
20
I work in a high school in CA. The vegetable soup of given names is a sad state of affairs. Arthur is lovely in comparison.
6
My parents wanted to give me the Hebrew name of Chaim, but the nurse at the hospital didn't understand my father, and wrote Herman on the birth certificate.
12
Then there's those who get stuck with not very well thought out (or spoken out loud) names. I have known a Cary Paine, a Les(lie) Moore, Rose(mary) Bush, Rob(ert) Banks and a few other unfortunates that begin with the name Harry.
9
If you do not like your name, first or last, change it. Lots of people do. More than we know.
3
People do change their names and not just transsexuals. A problem not addressed is a name so popular that it ceases to be an indicator of identity. See the short story by Hemmingway about "Paco" in Madrid. "Arthur" doesn't suffer that problem. The very very worst are names that are flights of imagination and also unpronounceable---so naming a child is abuse.
5
I was a Debbie until my forties, when I matured to become Deborah. I like “Deborah.” It has all those extra luxurious letters: “orah.”
The popularity of my name peaked in the 1950s. Reason? Debbie Reynolds.
Oh, but pity my poor husband, Hugh. The popularity of his name peaked in about 1885. Nobody living outside Britain understands that Hue or Hew or Huu could be a name, and if he tries to spell it, most people look both patient and insulted.
So, Arthur, would you rather be Hugh?
5
This isn't an article about names, it's a piece about first world problems. Worse, according to Mr. Brooks, there are people being paid to "study" this situation. Poor Artie.
1
At least you're not one of the Senate, Parliament or Cabinet brothers. I'm not making that up.
David Brooks is a fine name, but you'd have to spend some time telling us about how Maverick is at least as old fashioned as Arthur, or maybe just assert that "Arthur" is now pronounced "Maverick", so it's only old fashioned when written but not when spoken. Find some way to equivocate, is what I mean.
Why don't you call yourself Art? Thats pretty cool and maybe feels more comfortable? I understand though as I don't feel like my name fits me.. it even has two ways to pronounce it and i don't know which one is me!
4
“Gretchen”. (no, we aren’t ethnically German). I get Greta, Gretel, and , weirdly several times over the years: Bridget. always hated it and still do.
6
Me, too. The worst is being called "Gretch". I still cringe.
I could have switched back to my legal (but unused) birth name at some point but it seemed too much trouble and too confusing, so I stuck with Gretchen. I am always asked if I am German or Dutch. I've been called "Gertrude"................
I regret I never went back to my very pretty French birth name!
1
Gretchen has a sweetness to it but is an outlier in the U.S. of all the versions of Margaret, which also over the decades is much less common than it once was. You'll also rarely see a Peggy these days. However, we'd all be rich if we had a nickel for all the Megan/Meghans we run into.
3
If you hate it --- change it. End of discussion.
4
Dweezil and Moon Unit goes perfectly with Zappa, don't you think?
14
I never liked my name growing up, it felt too girly and weak, (I am a girl). If anything it did help that Ashley used to be a boy's name but I was born at the peak of Ashley popularity, despite my parents' claims of ignorance. I grew up watching the TV show Recess and was always repulsed by The Ashley Club. I couldn't relate to them. I wanted a strong name. I always rather like Anya or Jane but they don't feel right, nothing ever did. I relate the most to my first and last name together and will likely never change it, even if I get married.
Also, my mother changed her name when she was 16, and I always thought it was strange to grow up being called one thing only to be called something else when an adult.
There is certainly something to a name.
2
Greetings from the World's Oldest Living Alyssa. It was a club-foot of a name in the 1960's, but after Alyssa Milano made it more popular in the '90's, I didn't get as many odd looks. It fits well now that I am an adult and professional, but on the playground it was ripe for mockery.
2
What a great article! I, too, hated my name when I was growing up in the 1970's because it was not a common name. I desperately wanted to a "Tina" since two of best friends had that name and I thought the world of both of them. However, once I got into high school and realized how rare my name was (out of 1600 students, I was one of three Sheilas), I wore my name proudly and still do.
3
Gaye, my middle name. Named that per my mothers tale because I smiled at her repeatedly with in minutes of my birth. Fast forward to the mid to late 70's living in the Bay Area - now a teenager and gay had a much different meaning. Hmmm, do I hate it or love it? Finally I decided it was a good name, especially when linked to my first name, Colleen, "Happy Girl". As I have aged I have grown to love my name, and I love my favorite nick name too - Colleenie Wahine". Seems I lucked out.
5
I renamed myself at 14. I wasn't in love with my name, Susan. My mother named me after an actress named Susan Hayward. My mother told me that she had hopes that I would grow up to look like Susan Hayward and be as smart as Susan Hayward. Actually, my mother very closely resembled Susan Hayward but without the money to afford straightening of her teeth.
I don't look like Susan Hayward and only vaguely resemble my mother.
I was 14yo when I changed my name. There was an art show/sale in the local city park and my art teacher made sure there was a space for aspiring artists. Once we had volunteered we were given the amount square feet allowed to us. I took this as an opportunity to test my theory that all that really matters in art is the name of the artist. I made several small watercolors the size of a postcard and then I signed every 4 differently and I made plenty so that should any one of my works sell there would be another to replace it. Every single one signed with only Susannah sold. Not one signed with my actual name sold and a couple of others sold that were signed with just initials or just my family name. From that day on I've been who I am. I finally had my name changed legally when I was 32. Yeah! I love my name!
10
That's a very interesting experiment you did with your art. I wonder if it's been replicated elsewhere. Names mean a lot in marketing. It would make sense if they had a measureable impact on marketing people themselves. How many resumes get tossed in the round file based only on the name?
7
My name is Susan, named for a great-grandmother. I like it; it could have been Sarah - I am grateful that was not the choice. People try to call me Sue but I correct that most of the time. Lately I have noticed an effort to call me Suzanne, or spell my name Suzan. Susan was fairly common in the 40s and early 50s - I was born in 1946 - but I wonder what is driving the fashion to use the z now.
2
I have never liked my name and seriously thought about changing it after my parents were gone. Now that has happened, I still have it.
Another reason for disliking my name is that all of my siblings, my parents, grandparents, and every one in my generation have/had middle names. But not me. And everyone that I have ever met has a middle name. If I had a better sounding middle name I could at least refer to myself by that name, like many people do.
I have always been fascinated with names. I think that parents should be careful when choosing a name that a child will carry for perhaps a lifetime. Two cases in point: At a professional association convention some years sago I met two young women. One is named Psyche and the other...believe it or not,
Vengerflutta. I have wondered just what their parents were thinking. I feel that Vengerflutta spent some time as a child just learning how to spell it. I am sure that she continues to be asked to repeat and spell it to people wherever she goes. And of course there are the questions.
One more. I have a fraternity brother whose first and middle names are all girls names. So he has spent his life signing his name and introducing himself with just his two initials and last name. He has spent a lifetime of ridicule and snickering when he has to say what the first two initials stand for.
Yep, parents should think of a child's future, not what they think is best for them in the present time.
12
I share your pain. I was named Constance because my parents thought it sounded "elegant" and every other Constance I have met said their parents also gave that exact same reason. Over the years I have come to enjoy being part of an Unusual Name Club. Once, I was waiting for my order in Panera and when they called out the name "Connie" 3 of us went over. We all looked at each other and immediately asked "What kind of Connie are you?" and... we were all Constances. In first grade, we were seated alphabetically and the girl who sat behind me was Constance Morton. I was born on Christmas Day and I am happy my parents chose Constance rather than their holiday name ideas of Merry, Holly, Noelle- and I am forever grateful they decided that naming me Andrea because their names were Anne and Andy was perhaps really not that good of an idea. I too made my name issue worse by marrying a Guenther. Which even in his Munich birthplace is no longer common for anyone under 50.
We have a neighbor named Arthur and on of my son's former teachers is an Arthur.
3
I knew a Connie whose name was short for Conaire.
1
The ancient Romans had a phrase for it: nomen est omen, a name is an omen.
10
Arthur,
Consider yourself VERY fortunate: my first name is Darryl; my middle name is Gay. To quote Marshall McLuhan, "The name of a man is a numbing blow from which he never recovers." He was correct: I've passed my 66th birthday and I still haven't recovered!
20
My parents gave me the name Melvin in 1946. They had no clue that Jerry Lewis would soon begin a sustained mockery of the name on early TV. Some 45 years later, I took my wife's maiden name as my middle name, and while I was at it got rid of the "vin." So I am legally Mel, and I toss any mail addressed to Melvin. No such guy.
10
We should assign people numbers in the order they were born. Like a seniority system for earth.
3
I am mostly tolerant of my name, but I loathe having to say it. There's something about the "and" in Brandon that requires more effort to articulate in order to not sound like.. shudder... Brendan.
3
I went to college with a guy who scratched out the name on his dorm room door and that's how he became Scott-not-Brandon.
2
I tell people my name and immediately get asked, “so which nickname do you like?”
Anything longer then two syllables seems to require shortening.
2
I agree. The only people who can actually pronounce my name correctly and use it with appropriate are the French.
When any one calls me anything else I simply ignore them. I've had people ask me what my nick-name is also. I just respond with 'My name is Susannah'. Because it is. I changed my name and this is who I am.
3
At least they have the decency to ask
5
One more person who doesn't love her name. It's a complicated name that starts with a P.
As a result people call me Penny, Penelope, Priscilla, Pamela, you name it. They're kindly searching for my name and missing it. I'm nice to them when it happens and tell them, "It's okay. I've had this name a long time. You can call me anything but Late for Dinner."
My name is ugly to my ears for the sole reason that I was the third of three girls. My name is a feminized form of my father's name. In my life I've met several women who were the third girl among three. They all have a feminized version of their dad's name, as if the parents gave up on getting "their boy."
Every time I hear my name, I know that I was a disappointment as I entered the world.
Kids should have wholly their own names.
15
My name is Penelope..... Many people tell me I am the first person they ever met with my name. Many others call me Pamela, Priscilla, any thing with a P. I don't like to be called Penny but tolerate it from folks who knew me from elementary school...I actually like my name. I'm happy that I grew into my name.
4
I spent my adolescence telling people my name was "Jennifer." Oh, how I wanted to be a Jennifer or a Cindy or something that wouldn't cause adults (it was always adults) to either start singing an old folk song or ask if my parents were hippies.
4
I'm an Eve. I've always been rather lukewarm about my name because whenever a character on television or in the movies is named Eve, she's always a "bad girl" e.g. a femme fatale or prostitute or a product of a science experiment (sometimes both).
7
FWIW, I think Eve is a lovely name.
5
My name is Margaret and I hate it. That is all.
8
My name is Margaret and I always wanted to be called Maggie. But since I was named after my Mom, and her nickname was Margie, I was told I had to accept that name. To be referred to as "Little Margie" in high school was plain awful. Some special people in my life now call me Maggie, including the Starbucks barista (where everyone can change their name.) But most important, for my 97 year old mom with dementia, I am the only person she connects with the correct name -- Margie -- since we share it. She always remembers me. I now see the true honor of being name after her.
15
I'm Margarita and so was my mom, but everyone called her Margot (Spanish style - Mar-GO) and I was always called Maggie.
1
Oh, Maggs, I feel your pain. My mother did not allow nicknames. However, if I love someone, I let them use the nickname they choose, and it's usually Maggs or Clare (my middle name, for the county in Ireland where my mother's great-grandmother came from, early 1800s). One girl in every generation got the middle name Clare, and the tradition will die with me. p.s. When in college (1977) I lived with a Margret. Phone calls (no caller ID then) were hilarious. Still BFFs today.
2
My birth first name was Cindy. Easy to spell and pronounce by people from my heritage where the “th” sound is not native (nor is it in many languages, including western ones). However, I was in kindergarten during the height of Cyndi Lauper’s fame and I HATED being associated with her (I mean, she didn’t even spell it properly!). I came to like it in middle school and high school when Cindy Crawford was an “it” supermodel. Then, in university, things changes again. I felt that Cindy was too immature and cutesy, so I legally changed it to it’s full version, Cynthia. Sure, many people cannot pronounce it and Starbucks baristas always misspell it, but it makes me feel more professional and has boosted my confidence!
3
I have struggled with this all my life; theoretically, my name should be no-nonsense and phonetic, but absolutely no one- and I mean no one (besides my family)- pronounces it correctly. It's LESS-lie, not LEZ-lie, and that small, seemingly insignificant difference has become hugely irritating over the course of my life. Additionally, every Leslie I have ever met is also a LESS-lie, so I know that I'm not alone.
I do make an effort to correct people (my parents always did, too), but they often don't hear the mistake, which I find strange. I also don't feel like I should have to; it's an S, not a Z.
The fact that I have to constantly point out this error has really made me hate my name at times, which makes me sad.
Pronounced correctly, it's feminine and melodic (and MY name, as it was given), but LEZ-lie is so harsh that I cringe whenever someone says it.
However, as the author notes, it could be a lot worse and I don't want to complain.
Having a weirdly unpronounceable but typical white-bread name has made me put more effort into learning names that are foreign or truly challenging, and I find myself coming to their defense and correcting others on their behalf.
6
This sounds like Liza Minelli's famous "Liza with a Z, not Lisa with an S" song.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWURas7fYwk
4
Pity poor Leslie Howard, who played Ashley Wilkes in the movie "Gone With the Wind." Both names are now firmly in the female camp, and Leslie is a beautiful name - either pronunciation! I had a great-great grandfather named Francis Marion ___, and the feminized versions in the 1920s were Frances Marian. Not confusing at ALL.
4
At least you have Arthur the rascally elephant, from the Babar books. That's something.
10
I don't really associate a name with personal traits unless (and as to why I couldn't tell you) they're female names that end in -ie (Annie) or -y (Daisy).
Without fail, names like these make me think of friendliness, and down-to-earth attitude and I'm predisposed to like someone with a name like the above.
My own name, I really like. When I reflect on it, it always comes as a nice surprise to me since I tend to not consciously think of its significance in day to day life.
2
Although most of my family is Italian-American, the one grandparent who was Irish-American was my paternal grandfather, leaving me with an Irish last name.
As a result, when I was born my father insisted I have a good Irish first name to match it. He wanted the Gaelic form of "James," which is spelled "Seamus."
Luckily, my mother quickly identified a nickname I would be tormented with if I were "Seamus" (especially if you try to pronounce it like it's spelled--i.e. "See-mus"), so they compromised with "Sean" (the Gaelic spelling, naturally).
Despite some very brief and mild teasing in grammar school (kids pronouncing my name as "Seen"), I've been thankful for my mother's intervention all my life.
As for my father, it took twenty years, but he did finally get to bestow the name "Seamus" upon someone: his dog.
17
I have a reasonably ok name, pretty common with no bad associations. But my mom was hypercritical and every time she called me by name it was because she disapproved of something.
The first time I heard her call my name with joy was when she was dying. I came to see her in hospital without telling her I was flying to her town. She saw me unexpectedly and lit up with joy. That's when I realized why I disliked my name. So parents: call your children by name with joy and love. If they do something wrong: call out "Hey kid!"
57
memosyne, you beat me to the message. The only time I was called my given name was when someone was beyond angry. That followed me to school, I cringed every time the nuns called attendance and used Patricia.
I grew to like my name. But, as with others who have commented, people help themselves to nicknames for me. I introduce myself as Patricia, and I hear Pat (not terrible, but also not my name), Patty (which was what my family called me, and some still do; not horrible, but much worse than Pat), and a distant third, but very much alive and MOST distasteful to me, Patsy. I am NOT a Patsy, but some people actually act offended when I say, “I really like Patricia.”
Now, as an older adult, I’m hearing Trish and Tricia. Arthur, I hear you.
What is so hard about saying someone’s name, especially the name a person uses?
15
Also a Patricia here. As a child, my family called me Patty, but the other Pattys at my school were short, bouncy, and had curly hair, while I was a tall, skinny, introvert. By third grade I was uncomfortable with Patty. I tried to change Pat to Tricia in college but it didn’t take. In business I always used Patricia, but people always ask what nickname I go by, as if no one would use that full name. About ten years ago, I met a Patricia who goes by Patra, which I find much more interesting than Pat. Wish my parents had thought of that when I was born in the 1940s!
1
I love my name Anne (with an e). Simple, easy to spell and pronounce, first in the alphabet, not cutesy or trendy, has staying power. So glad not Hortense or Tiffany.
18
My husband picked our daughter's name, Anne; most of her female ancestors in Germany were named Anna, so the "e" at the end was a compromise. I wanted a Heather. Our daughter was always the only Anne in her class, and sometimes there were several Heathers. Anne loves her name, and so do I. Can't even imagine her being a Heather...
7
Thank you. Often a Catholic nun will call me Anna, for some reason. Only problem I ever have with the name Anne is when I overhear a conversation where someone says "and...." I think someone is calling out to me....
1
My friend Charlotte told me how she struggled so learning to write her name. Thus, she named her daughter Amy. Not only short, but printed with straight lines (at least in caps).
4
Born in Canada at the start of WWII to a father of German origin and a mother from a secular – beyond secular, atheistic – Jewish family, my father’s first choice for a name, Kurt, was deemed unacceptable by both. The compromise: Each picked their favorite movie star. Ronald Gary resulted. I go by Gary.
I leave it to the reader to figure out which actor named Ronald appealed to women in the late 1930’s. As to Gary, that should be an easy male choice. Yup, that one.
Now, at my late and totally non-believing age, I’ve been honored (tasked) with performing the aliyah at my grand-nephew’s bar mitzvah. Apparently as part of the proceedings I am to be introduced by my Hebrew name. Gary in Hebrew?
Yup.
11
Very interesting article, especially regarding one's name being a component of how you see yourself or the career you chose.
While I think my personal name has a lovely sound, the unusual spelling has been most annoying throughout life. The most common spelling is "Jeannine" and I have watched this form being written down by others on forms, records, etc. even as I stand there spelling it the way it appears on my birth certificate. NB -- do not coerce a Hungarian priest who knows no English into baptizing your baby in the hospital, as that is how this all started. I thought this spelling was mine alone until the internet came along and I found two others, one being, not a human, but a feminine hygiene product, the other a woman with an online boutique of plus-size lingerie, so I am in good company. I have often heard parents say that unusual name spellings are a special gift to their children, but I can tell you from experience that this quickly wears thin and correcting your misspelled name invariably makes you sound like a huge priss. There's a reason my two children have simple, single- syllable names with straight-forward spellings.
23
My parents, Herrell and Inez (pronounced EYE-niss, with her parents’ German accent) had two kids. Ten percent of my classes in school shared my name, and my brother Jim was similarly blessed.
Later in life, mom told me that they didn’t want us to have to constantly be spelling our names for everything.
10
The same three male first/middle names and two female first/middle names have been circulating in mother’s family since at least the 1850’s. With at least one per generation and as we expand sometimes many per generation.
When I was younger they sounded “old” and boring to me. But now I can see the names as a way of connecting us all and showing love and appreciation to those that came before us. As an adult, I feel very fortunate to have been given one of the names for my middle name.
15
My parents thought they would give me a memorable name -- and boy did they ever! While I'm not comfortable revealing my name here, I can tell you that when I went to summer camp as a kid, there were three of us girls who were in for some ridicule. Their names were " Billy Bills" and Kandy Kane. I also worked with a woman whose daughter was named "Kelly Green."
Why would our living parents do such a thing? I honestly don't know.
When I got married, I was happy to take my husband's last name so the embarrassment would stop.
14
We have friends who named their daughter Kelly Green. Obviously, their last name is Green. We told them it was a crazy idea, but they did it anyway.
4
I knew a young woman in collage with a first name of Kandie. You can't imagine the sexist comments she had to endure. I had a lot of sympathy for her.
8
I think "Lance Boyle" was pretty rude, too.
4
I was given the exact same name as my father, so I had to use Jr. to avoid confusion. I hated using Jr. - a child should have his/her own name.
29
The same with me, I completely understand. Worst of all, my father refuses to change to "Sr" so I can't drop the "Jr". I would never name my child after myself. It's so conceited, and causes way to much confusion.
6
Growing up, I would have killed for a name like Arthur (but Harolds don't do that kind of thing). You want to hear laughter? Tell a teenage girl that your name is Harold.
Yes, I think my name helped shape my destiny,in A Boy Named Sue kind of way (YouTube Johnny Cash if you don't know it). But remember the final verse: If I ever have a son, I'm going to name him . . . Bill or George or anything but Sue.
37
Just use the nickname Harry and all the girls will think you’re a prince ;)
21
I had a really hard time with my name as a kid––Altoon––named after my Syrian Sephardic Jewish grandmother. It invited a host of terrible nicknames, including loony tunes and tunafish. But as an adult, I love it, its uniqueness.
11
My name is Darlene and I've never felt comfortable saying it. It just doesn't have a flow. People who know me well shorten it to 'Dar' and then I know we are close friends because they feel comfortable doing that.
Secondly, I wonder if people take me seriously as a Darlene. Does it stand up to the fluff test?
I asked my mother why she gave me that name and she said there was some movie star she named me after (fluff confirmed). Funny, I never heard of that movie star.
I've always thought of changing it but never did. At this point in my life I'm sure I won't. There are worst things I could be called and more important things for me to dwell upon than my name.
10
Your name makes me think of the original Mickey Mouse Club. I can still hear the Mouseketeer Darlene shouting out her name - it seemed like such a glamorous name to me then!
8
I suffered for years with my name, Gerald. It helped a little when at age 13 I discovered that etymologically "Gerald" means "spear-wielder."
10
I know it means "spear-wielder", but to me it means I was being criticized. So for years, I introduced myself as "Jerry". Until I entered a profession that required me to use the real thing. Oh, well.
3
My parents called me "Jerry," and I thought that was my name--until I started grammar school, where the nuns called me "Gerald." "But 'Jerry' is my name," I said--or words to that effect. Sister Mary Stanislaus replied that "There is no saint named 'Jerry.'" So "Gerald" it was--although to my knowledge there's no "St. Gerald," either.
1
My grandmother was born in Austria in 1888. It was the tradition to name the child after the Saint whose feast day was celebrated on the day of the birth. She had the misfortune of being born on March 3, the feast day of St. Cunigunde.
As much as I don't like my name, it could have been much worse. If my mother had kept that tradition, I could have been named Walburga.
58
Yow!!
5
A couple I know were about to have a child, a boy. The husband wanted to name the child something common and simple. The wife however preferred an unusual name, something very distinctive. They argued about it. Exasperated, the husband said why don’t we name him ‘my-mother’s-ego’.
42
Chester Arthur? Wasn't he a President?
One of my aunts was named Ester. She was born about 1899 (we're not sure of the exact date), and died in a typhus epidemic around 1918.
13
I always find it amusing there are studies that show we look like our names. In high school, and part of middle school, I was consistently told that I did not look like an Amanda (what does an Amanda even look like?). One kid named Matt called me a different name everyday in an attempt to find which one 'fit' me: Melissa, Carrie, Sidney, Madeline, Amber, etc. Others gave me nicknames to hide the fact that they really didn't like my name. Even my parents have a nickname for me that they use often instead of my name!
One memorable language teacher gave us French names, mine was Estelle. After the first semester everyone switched back to their own names and she called them by that name, except for me that is. For two years she called me Estelle. Turns out that she thought that was my legal name! She even referred to me by it in a college recommendation letter. When I explained to her that my name is Amanda, she was shocked and said I didn't look like an Amanda at all.
Another teacher also couldn't decide what to call me, he really didn't like the name Amanda for me so he just called me by whatever hair color I was sporting at that time. I was very often referred to as simply "that blue haired girl." Another teacher once pointed out to him that I did have a name, but he told them that he didn't like my name for me.
I suppose what I am trying to say is, I definitely sympathize with you Arthur. Having a name that doesn't quite fit can be rather frustrating.
36
I find the name Amanda enchanting.
My name is the unimaginative Mary, a less than ideal moniker for this atheist. But to feel oppressed by it requires energy better spent elsewhere.
14
Whatever its origin (and I'm an atheist too), the name Mary is venerable. I always wanted to be named Mary.
1
I never really liked my name but never felt seriously compelled to change it. My mother originally wanted to name me “Alice” after her favorite aunt (and mine, later), but was dissuaded from doing so by that same aunt as she hated her name! I was given the middle name of Allison, instead. I would have preferred Alice or Allison, and even tried using Allison but it never stuck and I gave it up. My chief objection to Debra is that almost every time I introduce myself as “Debra,” I invariably get the response, “So nice to meet you, Debbie.” To make it worse, try and correct them saying that the name is Debra, and the person is frequently insulted and/or wounded that I should be bothered by what they think is a gesture of friendship. It drives me mad! Debbie is a name that was always too cute for me, strong willed as I am; and now in my 60s, it is beyond cute and ‘precious’ for an aging person!
11
I'm right there with you. As my 60th birthday approaches, I have finally found a graceful (I hope) introduction: "I am Deborah. I am so happy to meet you, insert name. People always ask if I want to be called Deborah or Debbie and I tell them that I love my name Deborah and hope they will also. But, if Deborah is too formal, you may call me Deb."
This gives a 2 out of 3 chance for the person to pick a name I don't hate and stick it in their memory.
17
I never liked my name either. But, I am eternally grateful for not having been named after grandma Augusta or great-aunt Hortense.
19
Kathleen is my favorite female name as evidenced by wife Kathleen, daughter Kathleen, and another daughter Meredith Kathleen. Diminutives include Kathy, Kate and Katey. They all go well with Kennedy. Other daughters are Kristin and Kerry and my sons are Douglas and James, of course. I do a great Bond, James Bond. Although I can blend with Irish Catholic, mt father was born in Scotland of Presbyterian faith. And please, skotch is a whisky, and humans are Scots or Scottish.
6
Art is what I would use, (Art)hur. E(art)h, and he(art). And lots of people want to be famous (art)ists. I have had fun with my name. One Example: If I ever meet Madonna, the pop singer, I am going to say: "Hi, I'm like a prayer, Kim, as in Kymn instead of Hymn. I'm also a feminist, that doesn't spell Hymn, as in Him. ----- Soulmates? Wish me luck.
6
When I divorced, I did not want to keep my husband's name nor go back to my birth name. I even hated my first name since it ended in a "y" and it sounded to me like I should be in a playpen. So I went to court and changed it - all of it. Yeah, my family groused a bit, but I was happy. When I remarried, my new husband was a little aghast that I refused to take his name. I told him: I like this name, I paid for this name, and I'm keeping it."
I've been "me" now longer than my childhood name, or my first marriage name. To this day it's been the best decision of my life. But it has made me wonder, why don't more people do this? If your Patty Pumpernickel and you'd feel better as Ann Simpson - do it. Before anyone else, you belong to yourself. And the basis of who you are is your name.
82
When I divorced I took my middle name, Leslie as my last name. I love it, it’s all mine.
11
My Aunt had a sister named Candy Kisses. Could you imagine? Your Patty Pumpernickel reminded me of that. She had it changed when she was 18.
10
Try " Edna". another name not heard since the 1890's. Yes there's a famous author and a poet with that name. But mostly, still rarely, it's a terciary character who's a joke in some way.
20
Personally, when I think of the name Edna the first thing that comes to mind is Edna from the Incredibles. Probably one of my favorite supporting characters of all time.
14
You'll never believe this one. When I was a graduate student, I worked part-time for a family-owned funeral home. The owner's last name? Graves. Bryan Graves and Sons writ large on the welcome sign. Naming really is destiny!
42
I was raised in western NY, and conventional names were the norm except for some of my Italian classmates where a Vito or Guido would pop up. When the Air Force assigned me to the Deep South, I ran into names like Billy Bob, or Bobby Jo and was astonished that these were their real names, not nicknames. I also noted that southern males tended to by their middle names.
24
I changed my name several years ago, and since then, haven't felt any of what compelled me to change it. There was a lot of family stuff that landed on me as I was the last one with that surname. Rather than that being an honor or privilege, it was agony, an unbearable burden that has since dissipated.
Mr. Brooks, you can call yourself anything you want. You can change your name to another first name, or use its equivalent in another language, say, Arturo, which I personally do like. It's not that expensive to change one's name, and the relief is great. Just do it.
14
Run of the mill in Scotland, but in Baltimore, at my Lithuanian grammar school during WW2, a real stand out.
My dad had his name, complete with our shared middle name of Ross, painted on the side of every car we owned. Only bothered me when I got in trouble and dragged his name along for the ride.
9
The story goes in my family that our grandfather would choose the name of the child by blindly pointing his finger to a random page in the bible. And that's how my father got tagged with the name "Theobold".
As life went on in Dorchester, MA in the 1920's he had to learn to box well, always getting in fights with kids joking about his name. Finally his Dad gave in an changed it to James
10
Why didn't he shorten it to Theo? It's a nice name.
5
One of my favorite lines in the movie Hard Day's Night was when a snobby type asked George Harrison "What do you call that haircut?" & he said, "Arthur".
41
I loved my Uncle Arthur and the music of "Uncle" with Arthur. A Cherokee teacher taught me the "ah" sound opens the heart.
30
Arthur, you are not stuck with your name. My "real" name is still on legal forms, but I only have to answer to it at doctors' appointments. My middle name I simply, and legally, erased; I no longer have a middle name.
10
My name is Arthur. I️ can relate. To this day, I️ have ran into only 2 other Arthur’s. We’re a rare breed.
8
My late father was also Arthur. He was named after his late grandfather, Avraham Leib (and this was indeed the Hebrew name my father received but never really used). Somebody must have told my grandparents that Arthur was a good English equivalent of Avraham, which would have really been Abraham in English. They might have decided that this sounded too Jewish for the 1920s in Rockland County.
I am sure that they did not know that the name Arthur derived from the Roman clan name Artorius, meaning noble, courageous. I am equally sure that they would not have known who king Arthur was.
They probably just wanted my father to fit in and Arthur was better than Abe or Abraham, although they were hardly fooling anybody. My father's much older brother-in-law Al was really Abraham. He was not fooling anybody either. But I guess he too did not want to be Abe.
My father seemed to be happy with his name Arthur. My grandparents gave him only a middle initial, "L" (for the Hebrew/Yiddish Leib). My mother much later made up his middle name, Leslie. In those days you could do things like that and the bureaucrats did not care.
19
What fun. Thank you Mr Brooks. My mother named me Debra, which I hated. So, when I was an adult, I changed the spelling to Deborah. I was a lawyer, so I guess it fits. Yet I cannot get many people to stop calling me Debbie.
16
Very interesting Mr. Arthur. I have a cousin named Arthur whom I just adore and love. As a result, I’ve come to love his name as well, although it may not have been on my original top 10 list of names to love. Another thing Arthur - I have a sister Hannah, and when we grew up this was a name associated with relatives of our grandmother’s generation - an elderly and not very stylish little sub-niche of Eastern European Jewish immigrants, if you get my drift. I believe Hannah may have also suffered from your affliction of autonomomisist(ism?) because as an 11-year-old she bought a giant gold letter “M”, put it on a long gold chain, wore it around her neck and told everyone the “M” was for “Madeline”. Anyway, as we all know, the name Hannah eventually came into great vogue, perhaps partly due to a certain unmentionable filmmaker.
10
I have despised my name my entire life. I started out with "Mary Winifred", got rid of "Mary" when I got married, and later, legally amputated the "-fred". The only reason I keep the remaining "Wini", is that I have built a career known by that name. Here's a tip: if you don't notify Social Security, then you have not completed the name change process.
I will say this: growing up with a name that I hated made me put a lot of thought into my 2 kids' names. I picked good names for them that they both claim they like.
20
I do plenty of genealogy and many countries have naming practices first born son named after the fathers father the second after the mothers and so on down the lineage. It’s an honorific way of naming. I never even knew the proper pronunciation of my own name until recently
It sounds quite a bit more elegant said properly.
10
I never liked my name either, but it's mine. I'm named for my great-grandmother Elinor (in the US)/Leonore (called Lorelei in Germany). However, all the Ellen's on TV were the moms, and never exciting in any way. They were stable, secure, strong. I hope I've grown into that persona, but maybe with a dash of Lorelei as well!
10
I'm also Ellen (Note: Nelle is Ellen backwards!). I HATE my name! It sounds frumpy and old. When I was a kid, I told my mother that I wanted to be called Lenny. That really gave her a good laugh. So, I'm stuck with Ellen -- named after Ellen O'Hara from "Gone With the Wind" -- an estimable, saintly woman, nothing like me!!!!
4
I have always liked my name HOWEVER my husband Jimmy absolutely hated his name for probably the first 7 to 8 years of his life simply because he had trouble pronouncing it. Although he wasn't a big fan of being "James" in parochial school, at least he was confident in being able to pronounce it & being understood. For most of his young life, he wished his parents had named him either Kevin, his next older brother or Thomas, his next younger brother. The good news is that for the past almost 60 years, he not only pronounces Jimmy really, really well :) he takes enormous pride in having this same name as his dad.
10
I'm not sure that for me like or dislike is the issue, but I have had issues - particularly with the hyphen. In 5th grade the nun decided she didn't like it, so circled it in red on all of my papers. My mom, being a not un-typical Catholic parent of the 1950s (i.e., intimidated by the nuns), instead of standing up for me, wrote a note asking the nun to have patience until I unlearned using it. Then I started using it again the next year.
Since the advent of computers, that hyphenated name gives me endless trouble. Some systems disallow it. Other systems (I'm looking at you NYTimes) simply run my name together "Annemarie" not allowing either hyphen or space. Early computers' forms did not have room for my full name (so in high school standardized tests I was "Anne-Mari") I have had to change my name on financial accounts because some other financial outfit's system did not allow the hyphen when I tried to transfer funds, etc. etc.
So, why not drop it? Because it is my name and has been my name for almost 7 decades. It is distinctive. Now, if I could only chose a last name more to my liking ;-)
56
My birth first name was hyphenated as well and I loathed it. Unfortunately, each of the first names were extremely common, so going by one of the them didn't help. Finally, in high school, a friend found a combination of my names that worked as a new nickname that I loved and when I went off to college, I just used that name. I finally had it legally changed at 22 and I have never, for a single second, regretted it.
My mother, to her credit, finally admitted my birth name was awful and paid for the lawyer to have it changed, though she still calls me by the nickname she's always used for me. It's a fair trade.
17
Not sure what you mean my "un-Catholic" parent - no Catholic I've ever met stood up to nuns. In fact, as systematic abusers of children, especially in the 1950s, Catholic hierarchy was hard to beat, all over the world. Pardon the joke.
I like Hislop.
8
While in Roman Catholic school in 2nd grade, I corrected the priest who mispronounced my name when handing out report cards. The teacher punished me for correcting him, which was the least of her offenses. (She pulled my hair, she made me stand outdoors with snow on the ground with no coat, etc.) My parents removed me from that school with two months left in the school year, and I still remember my father yelling (because the school would not fire her) on the phone, "No child of mine (I was #4) will EVER attend a Catholic school again!" He kept his word.
11
I have the name that few little kids have, and doesn't really suit an old lady either. I am a living salute to a talking doll. I could be young as a Katie, or old as a Kate, but Cathy is just so 1960s.
Luckily I generally don't think about my name, and respond to it about the same percent I respond to "Hey you." Mostly I have been conditioned to respond to Mom. I am me, and my labels vary.
We tried to choose names for our kids that would not get them beaten up, but also had to yield to family pressure on naming our son, the last and male in his line of surname. Friends have taken his not particularly up to date name, and shortened in; they have called him by his middle name which makes him sound like the rich guy on Gilligan's Island. But his name ages well, and he will be dignified at 50. Good news, right?
15
My Mother once told me I was named for a king. I must have been three or four at the time. i have loved my name since. I run into a few Arthurs from time to time. My name is not unique or rare, but I like to think distinctive.
34
Could be worse, they could have named you Chester A. Arthur.
I like my name, although it is so long. When other kids had filled in their names and were starting their tests, I was still writing mine in the blank that was never quite long enough. Can't tell you how often old school computer forms with blocks for the letters cut off the last t and/or e.
16
I really love my name, it’s unique without being too obscure. My mom also named my brother, Shane, and I names that cannot be shortened or have common nicknames because she wanted us to go by our real names haha. We also all have the same initials, SMR.
I feel a lot of pressure though to pick out good names for my future children that they’ll love and appreciate like I do. Doing some family history research is a great way to find meaningful, unique names, so maybe I’ll find some that way!
8
Whenever I hear “Shane”, I always recall the western gunfighter portrayed by Alan Ladd. Of course, I flunked the test for being considered an intellectual. I don’t know who originated the test, but an intellectual is someone who can hear the William Tell overture and not think of the Lone Ranger. I am perfectly happy with James or Jim, but cringe at Jimmy. But then, Dale Carnegie once punched me in the mouth.
The golden rule is not to name your child something that will embarrass him or her.
21
I don't suppose a parent ever thinks of a chosen name being passionately whispered into the child's ear 20 years hence, or Gad!, called out at an intimate moment.
I also find it interesting that uppity parents name their sons Hunter, Fletcher, Chandler or Cooper--professions they would never want them to adopt.
Clare Nevsky (I kept typing an 'i' in 'Clare') of San Diego: 'I also find it interesting that uppity parents name their sons Hunter, Fletcher, Chandler or Cooper--professions they would never want them to adopt.'
Moreover, people name their children with WASPy Snooty McSnootface names regardless of the ethnicity of their family surname. Thus one meets Caitlin Rabinowitz, Megan Wu, etc. (For some reason, it's more likely for girls.) Usually there is an ethnic given name to accompany the name supposedly more pronounceable to us clueless WASPs. But it never goes the other way. You never meet a Rivke Thurston Howell III, a Song-li Worcester, etc. Thus the class system perpetuates itself .... so far. As the Third World cultures rise, it may eventually flip, and WASPs will race to name their children Krishna, LaTeesha, Xian, etc. :)
In 1960, my parents gave me a name that at the time was cute and trendy. There were always 2-3 kids in my class with my name. These days, I rarely meet anyone with my name, and it sounds rather quaint. I can’t imagine changing it though, or calling myself a more modern version of my given name.
8
I have never liked my first name. I named my daughter, Angela, and she goes by Angie however I always call her Angela. My parents never asked me if I liked my name. Assumptions are made and you live with them. I wasn't given a middle name so in my mid sixties I gave myself a middle name on Facebook. Colton. I like it.
17
My mom gave me a very common name. So common that I was in a class in high school... 11 women in the class, 9 with the exact same name (one of them was me). Once I was an adult and on my own I spent the $50 and changed my name to a unique and uncommon name that held meaning for me. Dealt with flack from it when I was younger, but nowadays unusual names are more common. A bonus: NOBODY forgets my name.
45
I did exactly the same thing after going through high school with 5 other girls with the same name. At the age of 25, I legally changed my name and have never regretted it.
5
My grandmother tried to persuade my mother to name my brother after both grandfathers, which would have resulted in Howard Bernard or Bernard Howard. My mother, with her usual tact, said, "Wouldn't that be awful!?"
We all ended up with reasonable names, not too ordinary and not too weird, although mine has become so popular in the last couple of decades that I wish I'd stuck with Sally.
6
I've always rather liked the name Arthur.
15
My Dad was Arthur. His sisters picked the name for a famous mythical English king. His friends called him Artie. I always liked the sound of Artie because I remember him laughing.
1
I love the name Arthur. It was my grandfather's name and he was a kind lovely person. I think the name sounds intelligent and noble. My name is Anne; I hated it when I was young. But I've grown into it and very much feel like an Anne.
25
What a lovely name you have! My mother chose "Anne" over "Ann" for me because she thought it looked "more finished that way."
7
My mother loved weird names, so she named some of her children with names that I will not write here, for fear of being identified (no other family in the WORLD has all of them). Seems that when my time came to be named she was tired after giving birth to her eighth child, so she named me with a not so common, but at least quite inoffensive name. When the time came for me to give names, along with the father of the children we opted for common garden variety names that have not been a burden to my children. I had in my mind the face of one of my poor siblings when he was asked for the third time what was his name and who had named him. Certain names should be considered cruelty to children.
61
My name is Ralph Isaac. I was named after my deceased uncle Isaac Ralph, my father’s brother. I asked my mother, probably after my father had passed when I was 8 years old, what Uncle Ike wears like. Her response, classic for her, was “I don’t really know. I never liked him”.
This left me for decades with a less than positive feeling about my name.
However, after doing some genealogical research, I found that uncle Isaac Ralph was named after his Grandfather, Isaac who had fought for the Union in the civil war. And a generation or two before him was our mutual direct forebear, Raphael, who lived in the US in the 1700’s.
I am now proud of the name of my unliked Uncle. A little context is a powerful cure.
51
When people first meet my husband Arthur they quickly say, "nice meeting you Art." This bothers my husband, he hates the name Art. When we make reservations, he uses the name Bill, he says it's just easier.
11
Only my wife and my brother call me Arthur. Though sometimes, they and my best friend call me Artie. To everyone else, I'm Art. I like Art much better than Arthur, but at 70 maybe I am the old man that Arthur Brooks thinks everyone perceives when they hear the name. It is a dignified name, however. King Henry VIII became the monarch only because his older brother Arthur died. And Henry married Arthur's wife Catherine of Aragon because the marriage had not been consummated. On the other hand, I married Katharine. I wish I could dance, so we could emulate Arthur & Kathryn Murray. Lighten up, Artie!
11
What's in a name?
EVERYTHING.
32
Chester Arthur, of course, as a presidential ring to it.
25
Funny!
14
I'm an immigrant with an unpronounceable first name. Not a touch off, like Arthur, just completely unpronounceable. It took me six months in this country to realize that it was a severe disadvantage - folks at work wouldn't talk to me for fear of insulting me.
I was stuck with it until my green card came through, but then I changed it, for $50 by deed poll in MA. Best $50 I ever spent.
You don't have to be stuck with the name your parents saddled you with. Especially when people are afraid to reply to your resumé. You can always use your birth name with your parents if you so wish.
87
I would prefer to call you by your unpronounceable first name....if you don't mind.
23
I never did like George Jr. I always wanted my own name like everyone else because the purpose of a name is tell a person from others isn't it? If I had three boys I'd name them Tom, Dick and Harry.
5
Hey, if you don't ... change it!
8
There may be all kinds of reasons we don't. I just couldn't bring myself to hurt my father, though I did tell him once it was a good thing I didn't know which of my parents had chosen my names, because if I knew, I'd never speak to *him* again. (Because he was born on 11/11/1918, the day WW I ended, he was named Franklin Martin, after Granddad's Army commander. Grandma said if he'd been a girl she'd have named him Victoria, in honour of the victory ... but he was a boy. Naming Dad 'Victor' didn't occur to her. Such are the vagaries of the naming process.)
4
A lot of parents don't put nearly enough time and thought into it. Make sure you think about the sound of your child's likely nickname in conjunction with your surname, think about whether the three initials spell something embarrassing, and ask a musician to check whether the syllabic rhythm of first, middle and last name is pleasing. The kid is going to have to live with it for a long time.
70
My husband and I put a lot of thought into our children's names. When we were still working on the lists, we visited his mother in the hospital at the same time a friend of hers was visiting. My mother-in-law, her friend, and I are all teachers. At a lull in the conversation, my husband commented that I refused to consider a name that I associated with a former student who was a terrible disciplinary problem. Nice name, but bad association for me. Without skipping a beat, my mother-in-law and her friend chimed in simultaneously that of course, you couldn't name your child the same name as a problem student.
21
Before saddling your kid with a name think hard about what it will be like going through middle school with it.
12
My name came from my late father (I was the third son), but I'm not sure where his parents got it from. I only use the "full" version when I sign my name, WITH middle initial since my father had no middle name. I haven't been called Arthur since I was in high school in the '70s.
I don't mind my name. I've run into some other folks named Art or Arthur along the way, though off the top of my head I can't recall any who were much younger than me.
10
I have two uncle's named Arthur, and a cousin. I have a name that was uncommon in my cohort and is incredibly popular now. Makes me a hipster...cool before my time.
13
My late father, who immigrated to the US from Egypt, always said that a child’ name should be appropriate for the society in which they live - which actually would have created a conundrum for him, as his name, Mohamed, worked better in his country of origin than in his ultimate home. He was emphatic that there would be no more Mohameds in the family!
15
@NM -- there is nothing wrong with "Mohamed", dear friend. Your father may have had a premonition about the right turn this country has taken over the last 30 years.
6
My given name means foreigner. From the Greek, it meant anyone who didn't speak Greek. My original last name (birth name) is Russian and means foreigner. Another meaning was "mute," probably referring to people who didn't speak Russian.
My parents had no idea of the meanings of either my given or family name.
My father had an explanation for my given name. They knew they wanted to name me Gail but couldn't decide what other name would work with that. Dad said that one evening when he was driving to the hospital to see Mom, he passed a burlesque house where the headlining stripper was "Barbara Gail." He liked that, as did Mom. And he always told me that I was lucky. The other stripper was named Conchita Murphy. (Apologies to my Hispanic and Irish friends!)
14
Haha my parents also almost named me Chester. They decided to name me Jake. Now my name is Jacqueline.
You know what's funny, I've met a TON of transgender women whose birth name was Jake. Heck, there is even a movie about a transgender person called "A Kid Like Jake." My transgender wife's birth name is Jacob.
24
If its any consolation. I like your name.
84
My first name is Leonor ( Spanish last name) and although I don’t hate it, the majority of people do not get it right- Lenore, Elenor , Lenora and Leonor with an e at the end. I get tired of correcting people and just let them call me Lenore. I joke I want my tombstone done before hand to make sure the spilling is correct. It is an old Spanish name. My father as the story goes, named me after a Cuban relative hoping for some $$. None came. I read it is the 2336 th most popular name. Oh, I get things addresses to “ Mr”
9
Names can make or break a youngster. Selfish parents who are social climbers are immune to the hurt and social ostracism that comes with an odd name. My mother fancied herself as an aristocrat, which she certainly was not. But the weird names she branded my brother and me with were way beyond the pale. Boys thought we were sissies and girls said we were lame because of our "aristocratic" names. Our mother dismissed these boys and girls as ignorant and without proper breeding. We were prime targets for schoolyard bullies. We were social pariahs and wallflowers at parties and dances because of our names. Our mother was our worst enemy.
The defensive saying "what's in a name?" offers no comfort to the estranged child. It is beyond insulting to expect a boy or girl to accept themselves when their peers do not.
An odd name is akin to having acid splashed on one's face at birth. The horror never fades, at least, not in this lifetime.
36
Yes, parents should consider how a name will sound to the peers of a child, not just those of a parent.
My sister-in-law, who is from Russia, came up with a list of names for the boy she was pregnant with. She said they were important in Russia, but my mom and I pulled no punches and told her how mocked these names would be for a child living here - Uri, Lev, Ratmir, Igor, names that would make her child isolated. We prevailed and my nephew is Mikhail. Phew!
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@NM -- in more than one way, Gorbachev is better than Putin. I'd take Mikhail any day! Congrats on your Pick!! Keep the great posts coming!
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Names go in and out of fashion, though. My first name, which I hate, was very unusual when I was growing up. Now it's fairly common. For some reason, the zeitgeist picks up a name. Just as Henry Higgins boasted he could place a person by his accent within a neighbourhood in London, sometimes within two streets, you can guess the age of a child whose name is some variant of 'Caitlyn'. One year every boy seems to be 'Timothy' and every girl 'Emily'. And in African-American families, novel spellings and punctuation and similar innovations often result in unique names, which are a source of pride and individuality.
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Well, sir, look at it this way: the Arthur for whom you are named—I assume it’s the mythical British king—was begotten by Uther Pendragon. Arthur is a solid, sturdy name. I never associated it with age. It’s from Le Morte D’Arthur (The Death of Arthur by Thomas Malory—a splendid read, by the way, in spite of its length). He peopled his long story with Gawain and Aggravaine and Tristan and Agglovale and Kay and Galahad. Please consider yourself fortunate.
There are Francis (Dolarhyde) and Hannibal (Lecter) from Thomas Harris, two psychopaths who may have been led to their bloody careers because they found shame in their identities. Having an ugly name might do that to you.
Then there are the imperial, peremptory parents who name their children to conceal their own inadequacies. In loathing the common, for example, a parent may strike out at those from exclusive social circles that deny the aggrieved parent anything like the time of day. In a rage of rejection, said parent may think that an odd or off-putting name may be a retaliation for their being excluded from society’s privileges. Or something like that. But consider the unhappy bearer of the daily ill tidings that Dale Carnegie never considered: the outright rejection of a name so ludicrous and ridiculous that becomes something other than “the sweetest sound.”
So Arthur isn’t bad. I have known boys who wish that it may have been theirs. Their lives would have been a royal carnival in contrast to their shrinking shame.
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You are right about considering the context of a name's legacy. Wasn't Arthur one possible name for William and Kate's third child (Louis)? Wouldn't it be great if more people knew the history of first names?
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Henry VIII's unfortunate older brother was also Arthur. Having been betrothed to Catherine of Aragon, he caught cold and died before assuming the throne, thus sparing the English a debate on whether he would be Arthur I or Arthur II. Prince Charles is 'Charles Philip Arthur George' and could choose any of those names when he eventually ascends the throne.
What's in a name? Being named 'John Wayne' after an icon of American virtue didn't inspire Mr Gacy to a virtuous life.
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I once worked for a small company that knit names into hats. An order of two dozen hats came with the names but not the color choices. We had a great time fitting a personality to the name and then decide what color combos best suited that individual. I remember that we decided "Joan" played tennis; that "Ramsay" played music ; that "Bobby" was a kid missing a tooth...
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I have hated my name my whole life.
It's Greg. Not Gregory or "Gregg with two 'Gs'." Just plain old Greg. I asked my mother many times "why?!?" when I was growing up. It was always a mix of reasons, none of them -- in my opinion -- were any good.
I hate when people call it out. It grates on me. It sounds like something that if you looked up the definition you'd see the phrase "adjective - meaning: blah."
Sadly it's probably far too late to revert to my middle name -- something my own dad did when he was young because he also didn't like his first name. The irony? His middle name is... Gregory.
Funny how that works.
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Female perspective: Greg is a beautiful name. Firm and masculine. Not the least bit blah. Always been one of my favorite names for boys/men.
Think Greg House, MD. A bit eccentric but definitely not blah!
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Hate both my names. Hatehatehate them. Bimbo names. 'Playmate of the Month' names. Names that are just silly for anyone over 20 or so, and even worse as I am an androgynous type female with little 'girlyness' to me. I'm not even named after a relative, which might at least have justified it. And though my first name is now somewhat common, it was unusual in my youth (born 1955) and lent itself to various mean nicknames. I generally was called by my middle name, but I despise that almost as much. For 40 years, I've gone by my initials. When people ask what they stand for, I say 'if I wanted you to call me by those names, I'd use them'; if people do find out, they often burble, 'oh, but that's so pretty!' or some similar inanity. One of my professors in college insisted on calling me by both my names, in full. (I liked him regardless, but in retrospect he was something of a bully.) I have few regrets, but one enduring one is that I didn't change my name legally decades ago.
So I understand *exactly* where Mr Brooks is coming from.
Have you tried getting a cool nickname? I had 'Ace' for awhile. :)
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Great article! Very Arthurian, too (with a nod to another great Arthur - King Arthur). I remember as a child being very jealous of a girl named Jennifer Page Wood because her name dripped like so much honey off a leaf. But I didn't envy Mona Way, even though it too was easy to say. I shudder to think what line of work she ended up in. My own name is filled with k-k-k-k - a gagging dorsal velar stop. In 7th grade French class, we got to choose a French name, and I chose Genevieve (pronounced je-ne-vee-ev'). Ah well - it was nice while it lasted!
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The Romans knew: “nomen et omen.”
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PART I:
Poor, poor Arthur.
Yes, it’s stodgy. Yes it’s dull. Yes, it betrays the utter lack of originality on the part of his parents (that last part’s on them, but it’s also a virtue as will be explained presently).
And, yes, it’s soft. Do you think George Clooney is a big star, and a success in life? Just imagine what he might’ve achieved had his parents given him a name with a hard consonant, or a plosive in it: Mike, Mark, Craig, Kirk. Issur Daniellvich didn’t become Kirk Douglas arbitrarily. Now, THERE’S a movie star.
And George is soft, too. No wonder he farmed out his presidency to a Dick with a hard constant who ran it into the ground for the greater glory and profit of Halliburton and the Neocons (who have their own collective had consonant).
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