I am a regular listener to the MFM podcast. The hosts Karen and Georgia hit the right note, combining empathy and humor. I would not say that they or we listeners are fascinated with murders. The podcast conveys sympathy for the victims. A key to their appeal is the story telling. It is human nature to enjoy hearing well-told tales. The MFM humor is not telling jokes, nor making fun of people, but is witty, situational, often self-deprecating. I take walks listening with my earbuds, often laughing out loud, sometimes sobbing, or crying out "oh no!" And every episode concludes with a Siamese cat meowing on cue. (posted by Mme. Ledocs)
30
This journalist, Alex Hagwood, really failed to get his ear to the ground here. He should have had the humility to realize that he had almost nothing in common with most MFM fans and put in some more effort to make sure he wasn't missing anything. Just googling the hosts to see what other journalists have written, listening to the intro to one episode, going to one live show, and asking a fan what her "toxic masculinity" shirt referred to weren't enough here. The result is that this piece seems more focused on reinforcing his own first impressions and writing in a way that would create "indignation porn" for the average NYT reader. Yes, this show has a superficial layer: it's two comedians talking about murder. If that's all I knew about it, I'd probably come to similar conclusions about how it's wrong to make jokes about murder. But that is not what happens on this show. It's not like millenials and thirty-something women have suddenly lost all empathy (funny how these two groups are also frequently criticized for being TOO sensitive or "snowflakes"). As a good journalist, Hagwood should have tried a bit harder to understand the appeal rather than brushing off the 19 MILLION listeners as fad-following fangirls. This article, for example, captures the appeal much more clearly: https://www.nashvillescene.com/arts-culture/features/article/20990015/mu.... The show gives listeners a non-judgemental community. It empowers women in a world that devalues them.
57
One thing this article does not highlight well enough, which is a key characteristic of the show, is that it’s not about glorication of violence or the people who commit these heinous acts, far from it. It’s about the women (and men, boys and girls) who weren’t able to share their potential with the world because they lost their lives too soon and about the incredibly strong women who have faced the most dire circumstances, survived and defeated evil. The show is not for everyone, but to jump into all of negative assumptions about the hosts and the fans is unfortunate, especially when people don’t really understand some of the underlying reasons for the popularity of this show (or that they don’t even attempt to look at it from that perspective) such as mental health support, feminism and helping on another.
41
If you have known the scorching grief of a family member being murdered, it is unlikely you will ever find anything about any murder funny ever. Laughing at someone’s terror or shattering pain, or a family’s grief, or a life gone horribly awry, reflects a breathtaking lack of empathy.
8
I understand where you're coming from, but if you listen to the show (and I completely understand if you don't want to), the hosts make a point not to laugh at the idea of murder itself or anyone's suffering. The jokes are always non-sequitir and a sort of comic relief.
37
I agree completely. I knew the family involved in the so-called Los Feliz Murder Mansion case. Even all these years later, it's nothing to laugh about.
2
I completely understand where you’re coming from, but i assure you that the MFM hosts are extremely respectful when telling these stories, often even crying during the taping.
They once told a survival story and the woman it was about loved it and even went on the show. She loved how respectful they were in recapping it. Just wanted to clear that up fir you :)
31
I'm a regular listener. These ladies don't purport to be investigators or experts. They are two women talking about real horror and dealing with it how we all do - with shock, humor, anger, and revulsion. What makes their podcast listenable is its familiarity - two friends sharing their take on horrible stories. Clearly there's an audience for women talking about dread. Psycho-analyzing it feels reductive and pointless. Monsters exist and any of us are fascinated by them. Not much else needs be said.
36
Monsters, or more accurately humans who commit monstrous acts do exist. It is up to us as fellow human beings to resist giving into our impulses to rubberneck at crime scenes for our own entertainment.
1
Seems to be one more element of millennial FOMO on the most current "cool trend," as in being seen walking a dog on a leash while seeming to be talking into one's cell phone. Reminds me of a dorky high school A/V club for lonely young adults. There is nothing funny here that I can read into. Families lost loved ones in the most horrible manner imaginable.
Some people have said that fascination with serial killers is like going on a roller coaster - a kind of controlled danger that gives us thill but leaves us unharmed. While it's rare for people to ever encounter a serial killer, if you do fall into one's clutches you have about a 15% chance of surviving. They are not roller coaster rides. They are an of evil that defies description.
While we celebrate these mad men and women in media and print (Dexter is a case in point.) what about their victims? If your child, spouse, friend or neighbor spent their last moments on earth in extreme terror and pain, if they were tortured, their bodies defiled and thrown away like garbage, how would you feel about serial killers then?
The hypocrisy is amazing. We go nuts when someone shoots up a school - but we consume serial killer movies, books and TV shows like candy. We criticize gun owners as "Being in love with death" but claim our own attraction to savagery and evil is just a benign form of entertainment. Grow up.
Stare into the abyss and it stares into you.
2
If you’d ever actually listened to an episode, you would discover that the victims are usually the focus of these stories. The hosts go to great lengths to learn as much as they can about their lives, their families, their interests, etc. They approach every story with the upmost level of respect and empathy.
I can’t speak for all listeners but as for myself, I’m not interested in the glorification of these murderers. I’m interested in learning more about the psychology behind the mind of a serial killer. I’m interested in learning more about the victims of these heinous crimes. Part of me hopes that’s by listening to these stories, I can perhaps protect myself or someone else from suffering a similar fate. And yes, the comedic elements in this podcast provide a measure of levity in a world that seems to be going insane. Comedy can be an incredibly powerful tool when it comes to coping with trauma and it can be done in a way that does not disrespect the memories of those whose lives were tragically cut short.
30
Exploitative. Crosses the line turning pain and suffering and crime into entertainment. Dressing it up as warm fuzzy just makes it even worse.
1
My college freshman daughter turned my onto MFM a year ago. I feel like they are my best friends (which I know sounds weird). They have made long car rides and plane trips so much better. I know they focus on murder but their attitude of victim empowerment with a user friendly feminist vibe is irresistible. They are the new (darker) Amy Pohler and Tina Fey. SSDGM.
32
Since Trump gamed (er' gained) office--I've become addicted to watching Netflix crime series from around the world where women solve the crimes with their smarts, morality, compassion, and intelligence. It might be fiction, but gainst Trump's lies and criminality, it's very satisfying.
14
"Toxic Masculinity"?? they apparently have missed all the female murderers and serial killers
6
Nope they do all those too.
35
Why dont you try listening to it before you pass judgement.
25
Where would grotesque entertainment like this be without toxic masculinity? Seems weird to be denouncing the very thing that makes the show possible at all what with its focus on rape and murder.
Also, every woman in this article looks exactly like who I'd imagine liking a podcast like this. Pale (i.e. white) cosmopolitans in dark clothing and Doc Martins: the very same people least likely to experience all of this violence.
6
They would probably be perfectly happy if their podcast ended bc “toxic masculinity” wasn’t an issue anymore.
Also, I’ve been to a show and can tell you your assumption of their audience is off base in a number of areas.
15
That’s how they dress of the live shows, but they do not dress like that in their daily lives. Such a lovely person who draws such conclusions about someone based upon how they dress.
8
Not interested.
There may be a morbid fascination with serial killers among a certain segment of the population. But if you look at the numbers, you'll find that Young Adult is equally if not more popular at the moment.
What made Serial compelling is the investigation into a case where the convicted killer was likely not guilty.
6
More upwardly mobile white people capitalizing on pain and suffering, just in a different fashion for the times. I wonder how it feels to hear these two gab casually about your murdered loved one.
12
Actually, one of the victims (they also recount tales where people survive horrific attacks) heard the episode about her. She went onstage at a live show to publicly thank them, and said that she was touched by how they talked about her like she was their friend. If you try listening to the podcast, you'll find that the humor never comes at the victims' expense.
33
They'd do well to do begin some basic research by reading the classic works of the FBI's original serial-killer profilers, Robert Ressler ("Whoever Fights Monsters") and John Douglas (Mindhunter) so that they actually know what they're talking about.
4
Actually, they've talked extensively about both.
35
They've read both books and have talked quite a bit about them and the two authors. They do not claim to be experts at all, just two women talking about murder. If you're not into it, don't listen.
35
Everyone commenting on this article would do well to actually listen to the show or at least do more research about it before passing judgment. They do not glorify murder. They also discuss, and recommend that fans read, “Whoever Fights Monsters” among numerous other books.
It’s so sad to me that America has become this place of judgment and hate. Newspapers used to be a source of information, as in, “I read interesting an article, I am going to research more about the topic before coming to a conclusion.” The vitriol in these comments against two women, the commenters have
never met and clearly have had no other exposure other than a brief article in the Times, is deeply disturbing.
Perhaps consider reserving your judgment for your own conduct.
Sincerely,
A Non-Millennial, Mentally Sound Professional
SSDGM
30
I'm betting 95% of these girls and women have suffered physical or sexual abuse and are drawn to violence. I know it sounds like arm chair psychology but from my own experience with two former women, both of whom were abused and had "daddy issues"that went with it, and both of whom were surprise -obsessed with C.S,I. and grisly crime shows, movies, zines, etc.
There is psychology that says victims of violence and sexual attacks want to "get close to it again but control it on their terms". Seeking out s&m partners, focusing on violence in media and or porn (“Yes, lots of people here are into abandonment porn,” etc.)
The profile is too close to home when I read this. Normalizing and making a fellowship "cult" glorifying violence is not cool in my book ever. Especially when and if, fueled by what I see as unresolved sub-conscious drives. Sad that there are many people for who the shoe (black leather usually) fits.
3
Ooh you may be on to something here. It’s like how men love watching sports because 95% of them are professional athletes.
104
Explains men's fascination with violent video games as well! Lots of daddy issues there too, unsolved subconscious drives (toward toxic masculinity?), and it normalizes friendships around cultish video games if the shoe (usually sliders) fits.
(The above was sarcasm. I think the comment section is a good example of why this show is popular. Women are supposed to not discuss let alone find dark humor in violence or death lest they be seen as doc marten wearing misfits. SSDGM for the win!)
32
Nope... I love MFM and I've never suffered any type of “abuse.” Stop judging unless you’ve actually listened to it please.
12
I enjoy the show tremendously. Women are also the biggest fans for Law and Order and all of its spinoffs. Not sure why. Maybe because we are so seldom the perpetrators of violent crime, yet so often its victims. There is a need to make a narrative, I guess. To see these things as not random.
39
I've been fascinated with true crime since I was very young, but I really wish that My Favorite Murder was not what everyone thought of when they think "true crime podcast." It's unfortunate that Ms. Kilgariff and Ms. Hardstark seem to focus more on being funny than accurately representing the crimes they talk about on the show-- I used to be a big fan until I realized that their research seems to only be reading a Wikipedia page.
9
I completely agree. I used to listen to MFM, but the hosts are just too snarky and self-amused - the tone just doesn’t seem appropriate, and it gets tiresome. There are tons of true crime podcasts out there that actually are trying to do good - often the families of the victims reach out to the hosts and they work together to spread the word about the case and try to bring it to some conclusion. For those interested, try True Crime Garage, The Vanished, or Truth and Justice.
4