Perri, thank you so much for this article--and for the insight, humor, and perspective you've contributed to my life over so many years. On the former, my older son (13) and I are still arrested every time we hear a song from the "good night" CD his father and I recorded when my son was a baby. Every nap and every nighttime, we listened to it, over and over. My son loves music, and I can't help but think that part of it goes back to those early memories and the associated comfort.
On the latter, as a young woman, I read a story of yours in Mademoiselle in the early 80's (?) and thought, "This is a fresh, commanding voice, and it will go somewhere." So it has. I've read all of your published words and profited from them. My children are quite a bit younger than yours, due to my changing attitude and the wonders of reproductive endocrinology, and I'm so pleased that you are in front of me, offering a kind and thoughtful voice that helps me navigate the path.
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This projects is a replication, without acknowledgement, of a projects created by composer Shelley Olson and Lucy Aponte. It was a project that Olson and Aponte initiated at Siena House in the Bronx in 2007. At Siena House, single mothers composed lullabies for their children and composer Olson composed melodies for them. Many dozen lullabies were set to music in this project at Siena House in 2007. It seems to have been taken up by Carnegie Hall without acknowledging the originators of the project.
In fact, this lullabies project has a background that goes back many years. Initially it was called Lullabies for Free Children. That project collected "poems for a better world" written by children and set to music by members of IAWM (International Alliance for Women in Music).
See link:
http://www.geocities.ws/jyakkey/lullabies-2.html
These Lullabies was also broadcast by Daniel Pearle Foundation (established to honor Wall Street Journal reporter who was murdered in Pakistan) on the Internet radio for many years. It was later adapted for single mothers at Siena House.
I assume NY Times was not aware of the projects background.
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It must be 2018 in America! Not a mention of Brahm’s in this article! Not my Doctor!!! ( Another reason why, sadly, when it comes to the medical community, we are on our own.)
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The author of the article does not seem to be aware that the Lullabies Project has its origin in the "Lullabies for Free Children" project (link below), developed by composer Shelley Olson (myself), and widely heard on Daniel Pearl Harmony for Humanity Radio. In 2007, I brought the global Lullabies Project to Siena House in The Bronx, NY. In collaboration with Siena House Nurse/ Educator Lucy Aponte, we adapted and developed the original project into the format stated in the Times article. Lucy developed the idea of mothers writing loving letters to their babies; she helped them do so each week. I composed the music for the lullabies, using input from the mothers who had written the words. All mothers and infants assembled once per week in the common room at Siena House, dozens of lullabies were developed and sung there, and I accompanied on guitar. Lucy and I also developed and wrote the philosophy of the current Lullabies Project which I later read, with minor changes, and without attribution, in a playbill in Carnegie Hall. http://www.geocities.ws/jyakkey/lullabies-2.html
Submitted by Shelley Olson
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While I don't have children of my own, working with families in shelters, I've seen the power of lullabies as a mechanism for bonding and as a creative and emotional outlet for the mother. And Carnegie's Hall album of songs "Hopes and Dreams' is a must for parents and for music lovers in general. Beautiful melodies, incredible and heartfelt performances by an array of amazing artists from a spectrum of cultures. And knowing that the lullabies were written by moms struggling with poverty, homelessness and incarceration in collaboration with teaching artists, makes these pieces even more meaningful. I dare anyone to listen and not be touched.
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An informative and encouraging article. But I was sorry to see that the assumption seemed to be that only Mothers sing lullabies to their children. I used to sing "The Tennessee Waltz" to my daughter to help her sleep when nothing else would work. 30 years later, her husband (a professional musician) sang it for our Father/Daughter dance at their wedding. Now, he regularly sings to my 5 month old Granddaughter, often to good effect. Can we give Dads some credit too?
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Posting as the mom in the family with two adoptive sons, with dad doing bedtime reading to our oldest(age 8 at arrival) while I sang to our youngest (aged 3). After requests of a variety of songs we always ended with our own made-up song called "What did I do today?" that had me singing through all the activities of that day. Often my son prompted me not to forget some bit he was thinking about. By the time we got to the end when I was singing, "And now I'm going to sleep, and now I'm going to dreamland, and now I'm going to sleep, and it was a beautiful day" he would drift off to sleep without fail. Especially meaningful to me was the sleepover with his best friend when they were 12 and once more he asked if I would sing him to sleep, and it worked for both of them.
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Will be borrowing this gorgeous idea, and bringing it to a pre-release program for women, most of whom are struggling with the ordeal of addiction and the guilt of abandoning their children. This could be a natural bridge--music--soothing and fun--to the beginning of connection. Thank you for sharing the work.
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Music is magical, and singing to my daughter is one of the most precious memories I have of her childhood. I’ve been a singer since I was a child, and as my daughter grew, she eventually sang in choruses and in theater too, as I did, and we even did some shows together. In a few shows, we were arranged in “stage families” and groups of women sang lullabies to their “stage children”. Some of those songs became bedtime favorites of our family and others, and eventually, a CD on which I had the great pleasure of singing with my daughter. She was a high school senior about to head off to college, which made for some very poignant, and occasionally tearful, recording sessions. Here’s the CD link, if you are interested:
https://store.cdbaby.com/cd/bungalowens
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LOL. That Ricky Gervais lullaby to Elmo is anything but relaxing. Hilarious!
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That's exactly what I was thinking! The person who chose the photo obviously hasn't watched this episode of Sesame Street.
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One of the loveliest parts of parenthood is to snuggle your baby/child in your arms, rock back and forth in the rocking chair, and sing. Priceless precious memories! That's why I'm so heartbroken now that my youngest (aged 2) won't let me sing to him anymore. Instead he says he wants "phone sing! phone sing!" For the record, the only contact he has with a digital device is when I take pictures of him or play music on my phone (but no videos). Nothing else, ever. And still, even despite such dedicated and purposeful effort on my part, the draw of the damn device is already undermining our sweet, unique bond. So much for "mom's voice is special all on its own"... I don't even sing off key or anything. My resentment for digital devices only gets stronger as my kids grow.
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As a child Psychotherapist, the attachment that occurs between parent and child during the most quiet and often times the most vulnerable is limitless. With song, touch and soft sways, lullabies can be a key component to the child-parent attachment.
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Singing to a baby in the first year of life is essential for forming a solid attachment to a caregiver. The baby depends on this attachment for a happy and secure future. There is nothing more important than a secure attachment. This is the most important lesson in early childhood development. This should be understood by every parent before thinking about conceiving.
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