Family Dishes

Thanks to the author for this delightful piece. This love of dishes must be on the X-chromosome. All the gals I know LOVE dishes, myself included.

I loved this. I have just a few of my grandmother’s heavy Syracuse china plates and use them every day. Their 9” diameters (from the days when meals were reasonably sized), and their wavy surfaces, worn down over decades of knives and forks, remind me of visiting her in Staten Island and having pot roast with red cabbage and buttery egg noodles. You don’t need an entire set of dishes to keep memories alive.

Replacements.com helped me identify and complete my mother's 1948 wedding china/silver/crystal (Noritake "Lynbrook", International "Prelude" and Tiffin's "Cherokee Rose") At the advanced age of 57, I'm being married (for the 2nd time) next June. Those cherished items will be used to celebrate that new marriage. My friend and I run a rustic/French antiques booth at a local flea market - if you have no room in your heart or your home for things like these, we'd love to help them find a new home.

After my mother passed, I bought a new hutch to display the bone china dessert service that my grandmother had given her on her wedding day. It is my most prized material possession.

I have my great-grandmother's complete set for 12 of Homer Laughlin china, gravy boat, platters, serving dishes. Humble stuff but every piece is there. It's been through several Thanksgivings with me when I had a crowd but has been packed away for 10 years or so. The plates are small and crazed and have to be washed by hand. I was debating passing the set on, but after reading this article, I think I am going to keep it for awhile. I also have a wonderful set for four of blue and white featuring an octopus from Anthropologie. The teacups have tentacles for handles. Thanks for this article!

I can relate. My parents owned a small inn and I have Syracuse china that the salesman literally threw against the wall to prove it wouldn't chip. In addition, not only do I have oodles of sets of family china back to my grandmother, but my mother had a china painting studio. So we have several sets of hand-painted dinnerware for eight, complete with multiple serving dishes, both round and oval, and compotes in several shapes. Left in this world are only myself, my sister and my son. We will probably never use most of this collection, but neither will we part with it. So all that culling people praise will have to be done by someone else!

I love to talk dishes, as an only child, but now mother of three daughters, I'm fortunate enough to have inherited three very different sets of beautiful china all from very different walks of life to pass down to my daughters. One collected from boxes of powdered laundry soap, one purchased in Germany when my father was in the military and another purchased in Japan. I also have my own personal depression class and Fiesta ware fetish. I associate good memories with meals served on some of these dishes and in this time of fast food, disposable everything, I've done my best that my girls will have some of these memories as well. If they choose to get rid of these items that I will someday pass down to them, I pray they don't tell me!

A word or two of advice. If a relative offers to give you something that you've wanted, accept it. Don't do what I did and say, "I really can't, you still use it and enjoy it." My mother repeatedly offered me things and I would tell her that I couldn't accept something I knew she loved and used all the time. I deprived her of the joy of giving gifts to me. My mom passed away 16 years ago and I inherited many dishes and other things she tried to give me and somehow they don't have quite the same meaning as the things she gave me herself. I also made the mistake of not using various dishes she gave me and hand-embroidered dish towels she made for me. They sat in boxes for over 15 years. I finally unpacked them with my most recent move four years ago and I've been using every one of them. I know that if my mom were alive, she would be very sad to know I planned to keep them boxed up. Heaven knows I will never forget my mom, but it's nice to remember her every time I pull a dish towel out of the drawer or use one of her pots to make green chile stew.

I fell in love with my maternal grandmother’s wineglasses when I was small, just 5 or 6 years old. They are lovely, delicate crystal with daisies cut into the crystal and are now over a hundred years old. One of my joys is drinking rose from one of the five glasses I have. These wineglasses were the start of my obsession with all manner of dishes. To be honest, at this point, I’m not quite sure how many sets of china and pottery I have. But I love it all.

So pleased to know there are others who treasure old china for the associated memories. Nearly 80 myself, I have my grandmother's (a German immigrant farm woman) clear, cut glass 'raspberry bowls' which were used to serve canned or fresh fruit at the end of family Sunday dinners. The granddaughters/cousins setting the table were particularly fond of these bowls and gave them the name as ruby, home preserved raspberries with juice sparkled in these small bowls. I also have her black and white roasting pan, butter churn and wooden bowl and paddle for washing butter. Tho' I use the roasting pan infrequently, every time I see its bulk on the shelf, a wave of nostalgia for a more focused and connected way of living sweeps over me, something our busy with activities, city dwelling grandchildren will never experience.

Thank you for this! I have my Grandmother's Rosenthal serving pieces that my mother always used- HUGE pieces that took up the whole table. My mom used them for making big batches of cole slaw. When she died I took them, not because they're valuable- they are all chipped and the gold edging is worn- but because of the memories they invoke- big heads of cabbage turning into a delicious childhood dish!

Lovely article in this day when so much is simply referred to as clutter. Marie Kendo not withstanding, using my Mother's and Grandmother's China connects me to them. Thank you.

From four full sets of china, an entire case of matching crystal barware, and the ancestral sterling flatware (which, as children, we HATED polishing every month), it is a pleasure to have six to fourteen people to dinner on a really nice mahogany table (my grandmother's) in a genuine old-fashioned dining room. She would have loved it. Recycling at its best. The guests will almost always remark about the formality of the "fancy" table. Our response is, invariably, "You don't have to dress up for dinner. The dinner will dress up for YOU!" Life's too short to not use the good stuff. Get it out of the boxes and put it to work!

Years ago, my mother gave me grand-mere’s (my great-grandmother) wedding China. She’d noticed that on holidays I would choose to use them, rather than other more modern sets. There’s a nick in the gravy boat, a cup and a few saucers missing, and years before that my sister dropped the lid to a serving dish which shattered. Two years ago I broke a plate. Other than that, the settings for twelve are intact. My grand-mere had 11 children. Clearly, these were not the plates they used every day, otherwise there’d be many more missing pieces. Likely she kept the set tucked away, used only for special occasions. I do the same, and think of her, who I never met, and my mother, every time.

When I got married 44 years ago, my mother cautioned me against registering for sterling silver, since it was too expensive to expect as gifts. So I was slightly envious as I went through life. When my grandmother died I asked for her silver plate, but my mother held onto it herself. Then my mother-in-law died and my husband inherited the service for 12 made in Japan after the war, monogrammed no less. Then his step-mother died, and her daughters passed on the box of two sets of silver and on of silver plate, so I rescued them from the donation pile. My mother died 4 years ago and I inherited not only her sterling, but, finally, my grandmother's silver plate (my favorite of all). Add all of that to the myriad sets of French silver tea spoons I collect (real tea spoons, not the shovels we Americans call tea spoons), and I'm set in the flatware department. Finally.

So true. Grandma's China set bought many, many decades ago (probably in the 1930s once they felt a little financially secure) is a treasure. Not trendy for sure. I can feel the aura of the Shabbat dinner when I set them for a holiday meal. Her spirit is somehow embedded in the flowers drawn on dishes. Thank goodness my daughter wants the three sets of family China. Someday they may end up in a thrift shop but not until we have left this physical earth! Thank you for your article.

Karen Stabiner, this was delightful!

When my husband and I married in 1968 and it was time to go from dishes purchased with green stamps to something fancier, we couldn’t agree: he wanted English bone China and I wanted Dansk. Then, in the Bahamas, we found them—dark green cabbage-leaf dishes made in Portugal. We bought service for 12 in B.Altman’s and still love them and use them.

I loved the piece but it makes me feel quite out of step and a failure - I don't appreciate the multitude of dishes in cupboards that are my fate. My mom and mother-in-law have cupboards filled with china - their own and from generations before them. They await me and I've got no desire to store or house or use them. I'm just not a "things" person at all. But this article makes me think again.

I too have a dish fetish that started with finding dishes for a future beach house. I was looking on ebay and stumbled across my everyday set; my husband and I bought an eight-piece complete set in 1984 for under $100. Lo and behold, these dishes made by Midwinter, Ltd in England, were now fetching some decent prices since the factory closed. It was then when I fell in love with the funky mid-century and later sets the company made since mine was plain white. I knew they were quality because, after almost 30 years of use, they still showed very little wear. I eventually acquired a huge set of Blue Dahlia over the years, along with some of their other patterns, Autumn, Nasturdium and a recent thrift store find, Moon. Instead of a beach house, our four children came out of college without any debt and I claimed the dishes in a divorce. When my mother moved to assisted living, I became the caretaker of her 12-piece Queen Anne and various luncheon sets from Royal Albert, in addition to my own set of Anysley. After she died, I really didn't want the Queen Anne set with the dull brown leaves; it never brought me any kind of joy. So I sent those out into the world to find the person that would love to have them via Replacements, Ltd. But oh the rest! My daughter seems to have inherited the gene, as she asked for both the luncheon sets and the Blue Dahlia. I was thrilled to give them to her! The things we have should be used and shared and, most of all, bring us joy!

Lovely, and glad to know I'm not the only one who loves old dishes. Interestingly my maternal and paternal grandmothers had the same silverware which I now have. On family occasions, we enjoy using both sets- makes the meal more special.

So enjoyed reading this article. I don't have a lot of dish ware but as I entertain a bit more than previously I am adamant about using the "nice" dishes. My guests usually notice and appreciate the setting. But one thing that has confounded me is the reluctance for people to use the cloth napkins. I've had quite a few discussions with other friends, both my contemporaries and older generation, about this. We're all stumped as why guests will ignore them or even go into the kitchen for a paper towel! I've assured guests that the napkins are easily washable with the rest of the sheets, towels, etc. Yet time and again folks will eat without them. Although I would never say it aloud to guests my inner voice is practically yelling I don't care about your soiled clothes, I do care about my soiled furniture and floors! Oh well, folks do seem to enjoy themselves at my gatherings, at least they always stay late. And I have a great time too.

When I married, my husband and I were poor college students. My wonderful mother-in-law gave us the remains of an old set of Calyx Ware dishes so we would have at least a few plates and cups in our grubby first apartment. Over the years, and long after my husband divorced me, I have added to my set, collecting many pieces and patterns from estate and yard sales. I’m retired and thinking about downsizing. The Calyx Ware is not going.

As I get older, I am rlmore and more appreciative of the importance of the decorative arts. When efficiency and casual manners are one's highest and best aspirations, one is mere steps from eating take out from the container over the kitchen sink or drinking soylent. Brings to mind the old German saying "Menschen Essen, Tieren fressen."My gratitude to all who cook and set a proper table as time as circumstances allow.

Thanks for this article. I need to bring my dish collections back to life! Out of the cupboards! For some reason our grandmothers, aunts, senior neighbor ladies took such delight in using their best dinnerware. Why have we lost the tradition? Time to get unbusy. Time to set the nice table. Time to enjoy those precious pieces of glass and porcelain and crystal. Those old cookbooks even direct us on how to lay out the pieces. Let me revive. I’m tired of worrying about what my three minimalizing daughters will say behind my back about all the fussiness that they think I may portray. Call me eccentric! When we take a sip from those old cups, or serve a piece of cake on the pretty instead of plain, which the young use for the sake of being plain, let us rejoice! Toss away at the estate sale? No. Serve a beautiful dinner with beautiful dinnerware and memories? Yes. And granddaughter - may you always remember this with joy, no matter what your mother, my daughter, says. :)

When my wife and I married in 1979 we got a few pieces of china and crystal. When I broke a piece of crystal I started looking for a replacement on line. I became obsessed with picking up odd pieces here and there. Many came with unspoken stories. Wrapped in newspapers from the 70's they spoke of families who moved about somehow explaining why a piece mailed from Austin was wrapped in a Rochester newspaper. Every night I have my bourbon in a Waterford Old Fashioned tumbler.

When we cleaned out my mother’s home, we knew the dishes would be everywhere but finding six sets in the master bathroom vanity was a surprise! There were hobnail milk glass ones, clear hobnail ones, Depression glass sets in many colors (a pink dogwood pattern predominated), enough Blue Danube to start a restaurant, my Grandmother’s China - with pink and green flowers with gold edges, the Christmas plates, the Rosenthal rose dishes my Dad brought from his Army tour in Germany, and the Japanese tea sets he brought back from Japan. There were special picnic dishes, ones shaped like flowers for the garden club, complete with flower pot cups, and the Blue Willow ones she used for everyday, not to mention a few of the heavy plastic ones we’d used in the ‘50s. They represented a lifetime of dinners, parties, laughter and tears. It comforted me knowing she’d been surrounded by her prized possessions.....until we had to pack them all!

I used to help my grandmother set her table for family get togethers. As we put silver and China and crystal on the table, she said always treat your guests like royalty, don’t save these treasures up but use them to dine rather than merely eat. People would stay at the table talking for hours!

Great article-I grew up in a poor family and somehow my Mom aquired three sets of Wimbledon China-They are lovely and I have added to these three sets over the years via EBay-I have enough for each of our two daughters to get 8 settings plus bowls, etc-I also am a big fan on McLaughlin china-dishes, glorious dishes, I love them-thanks for sharing your story-

I am a confirmed dishaholic, and every set of China , every mug, and piece of pottery comes with lovely memories of a family member or a wonderful trip. It’s asparagus season, and I can hardly wait to use my special platter.

It wasn't unusual for Jewish families to have five sets of dishes: Everyday meat dishes Everyday dairy (milk) dishes Pesach meat dishes Pesach dairy (milk) dishes Fancy dishes for holidays and entertaining (virtually always meat dishes) Even in these casual times, dairy Jewish homes still usually have three sets of dishes. Finally, observant friends of mine who grew up in Baltimore told me about "observant" homes that had three sets of everyday dishes: meat, dairy, and crab!

we are downsizing and perhaps un-memorying: anyone want my grandmother's ruby glass pesach dishes?

So touching! Thank you for sharing this.

Oh, how I loved this article! As a self-professed “dish nut,” I too have many sets of dishes I have known and loved over the years, actually USING them all for various occasions. But now we entertain less, I don’t have as many occasions and am starting to downsize. Haven’t actually done it yet, since it’s so hard to part with them, but I’m just about ready to make some beautiful tablescapes with them to photograph, so I can enjoy them that way now. One of my biggest problems is finding younger people in the family who want them or would care about them. I just want them to go to “good homes.” I was able to give a very nice set to a coworker whose own dishes had become a mishmash over the years and she was excited to have them; that made me happy.

Family dishes once seemed to last forever. Break a piece and a replacement was readily available at the local china shop. Good dishes were green dishes. Sadly, that is no longer the case. Many of the exquisite, fine china patterns once made in England are now out of production. The English pottery factories are closed and what remains of the operations has been moved to Southeast Asia. My grandmother had dishes she handed down to my mother and my mother handed these down to my sister. Each generation replaced missing pieces as necessary. But the Royal Doulton Fusion my wife bought in 2000 had but an eight year production. These dishes are not going to have a life spanning three generations and more than a century of regular use at family holiday dinners.

Thank you Karen, lovely and though provoking story. Growing up in Rogers Park was very similar.

What a charming story! It speaks to so many of us reaching a certain age as well. Many thanks to Karen Stabiner for directing my attention on a busy Saturday morning to my displays of china so familiar to me I no longer see them as I walk by the cabinets in which they live. When I married in 1969 registering for china was the last item on my to-do list. My husband and I were still in college and protesting the Vietnam War was important to us. Eventually-- since it seemed our two sets of parents were "in charge" of everything about our wedding"-- we registered for a new Corning product called Centura--guaranteed unbreakable and sold in hardware stores and stainless flatware from Denmark. After 49 years most of the dishes are still whole and still in use despite not being microwave safe. Centura is a popular product on re-sale sites, but ours will be donated since we don't have children. Formal dinners were not a part of our early married life; we were the only married people of our age we knew. Since so many of our friends were hungry students, informal gatherings were often at our apartment. As our careers matured most of our entertaining became business meals at restaurants or the rare large party at our home. I collected china for parties, not dinners. I have since passed on to relatives of the age to give large parties the sets of wine and cocktail glasses with the linen napkins, the small plates and special flatware. I love to hear about their parties!

A few years ago I bought a service for twelve at an estate sale. The grandchildren were there and no one wanted all those dishes. They are from the thirties with grandma's initials on them. I asked them to tell me about her and I think of her every time I use them. Someone else's memories for $40? I think that's a great deal.

Once married, you’ll learn that there is a different spoon for cream soup, and that a Tom Collins glass should never be confused with a highball glass.

I love pulling out assorted plates, glasses, platters and silverware. They are the perfect merger of my now and the people whom my husband I came from. We have my grandmother's china, my husband's grandmother's silver, another set of china from my grandmother's friend, my mother's platters and candlesticks. A meal with family extends to being an inter-generational event. It connects as much as the many fading photographs.

For my great-grandmother it was a few items, a celery vase, large perfectly white linen napkins, ice cream dishes and spoons, that signified her aspirations to a more genteel life. For my grandmother it was the paper-thin china from Limoges, and the heavy silverware - enough for 12 people and ONLY used for special guests and holidays. My Mom never used these. All that was stored away in the china cupboard, too fussy and old-fashioned for Mom's tastes and our modern world. Mom had her own newer, simpler china and sliver, and she added crystal glasses, a daring thing to do when you have five children! And we used it all every Sunday, making Sunday dinner very special. Yes, a lot of this is now stored at my house. We have a more casual life-style and these possessions are less of "signifier" and more of an encumbrance. But when I do get them out and use them, celery vase, fish forks and all, I have this object in my hand that is bond with two generations of women before me. And I won't give that up.