What a beautiful essay! I have tears in my eyes! Glad your brother is thriving and that you’ve become closer.
3
Smartly written and so well grasps the family dynamic, how we hold onto the habits of youth until events shake us out of the norm. Beautiful and witty!
2
Loved this essay by Sue. Really shows the layers of family and how every person in a family perceives those layers. These are the raw truths of family life.
2
I love this beautiful essay, Sue! It's one of my favorites. So glad Brian is well and your bosom cancer-free.
2
A beautifully-layed, thoughtful essay, all the richer for its honesty and ambiguity.
1
A gorgeous piece, so moving, funny and heartfelt.
2
The story flows but using one's family as props with half truths should be reserved for fiction.... The pockets of falsehoods that litter the story are cringe worthy to anyone who really knows the real life facts about her brother's family.
11
Beautiful piece with many layers touching on a universal theme- sibling rivalry. Shapiro manages to inject humor into two serious situations and the reader is relieved by the outcomes. Great writing!
12
From what I’ve heard, the NYT is known for scrupulous fact-checking. Besides, this is memoir; this is Shapiro’s truth and recollection. I had tears reading this. What a lovely tribute to her brother; it’s obvious she holds him and her family in high regard. One final thing. I don’t Shapiro’s family, but I’ve known her for 16 years since I took one of her classes in 2002. And what I know for certain about her is this. Truth and honesty to her are paramount, especially when it comes to examining one’s own culpability first. She’s a tremendous example of integrity in the writing and journalism professions.
19
Authors sometimes change some details to protect the innocent. Unless you are THERE or are really a family member you don't know. Now piece.
1
Such a beautiful, loving piece, Susan, despite the emotional dismissiveness you once had to endure from your parents. Thank you!
2
Sibling relationships are so fraught, and this piece illustrates it so well. Lovely writing and sentiment. I'm glad Brian is ok now.
4
Beautiful story. Can relate to it on many levels. Thank you for sharing this.
2
I'm sorry your parents favored your brother but glad you could work out your own relationship with him and his family.
2
Love it! Great exemplar of the writing principles you teach your students.
1
There seems to be a common thread to people that intentionally have no children... An unhappy childhood.
5
She never wrote she intentionally did not have children.
4
Yes, so true, Don.
1
Is the moral of this beautifully written piece we should all take emotional abuse from our parents and the siblings who thrive on it (by we I mean Jewish women who have only brothers and no children) because one day we will....have to give them even MORE of our selves???? Ms. Shapiro has made her peace wither her choice; the rest of us can choose another way.
Few writers are able to build a story brick by brick - piece by piece like Ms. Shapiro.
3
Everyone sing along now You can't always get what you want, You can't always get what you want, But if you try sometime,You just might find....."
1
Such a human and insightful piece. It would be nice if all siblings could feel close when faced with something like life threatening illness, even less. However, I have a brother whom I consider truly evil. If he died tomorrow, I would feel nothing, except perhaps relief.
2
I hit submit by mistake before I finished:
Few writers are able to build a story brick by brick - piece by piece like Ms. Shapiro. That kind of skill and patience is rare these days - it makes readers travel beyond happiness into feeling relief at the end of this piece, when we find out that you're both okay.
4
I see this dynamic in my teenage son and daughter. Try as I might to change the situation, my son is always the center of attention. I hope they eventually have a great relationship like you and your brother, beyond their flawed parents.
2
I'm glad he's well. Enjoy every second with your wonderful Family. My only sibling died 30 years ago, in a Jeep accident, while serving in the US Army. I miss him every day, but my daughter looks more like Him, than me. That's both a comfort, and slight heartbreak. Best wishes.
4
Phyllis Dalmatian -Wow that's so tragic. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for your kind words.
8
Oh my, Phyllis! So sorry.
2
Reminds me of the joke about the mother whose son is elected President. She attends the inauguration, and while he is being sworn in, turns to the person sitting next to her points to her son and says - "see that guy? His brother is a doctor."
8
No no! The joke is her DAUGHTER is the first woman president! That’s how it mirrors Ms. Shapiro’s piece!
4
Lovely essay, thanks for sharing it with us.
5
Beautifully written essay that gets to the heart of it all.
7
Touching piece! My own brother and I had a difficult relationship until he almost passed away from an illness.
Best to the author and her family.
4
omg... wonderful, surprising, heart-wrenching essay. I'm buying your books right now. thank you...
6
You are a good sister. Lymphoma is not hereditary or at least every doctor who I tell that my only sibling and older sister died from Lymphoma at 28 tells me. It is not hereditary - you didn’t do anything to get it. She is now gone 28 years which means every day forward from this year, she is gone longer than she lived.
Brian is so lucky to have had the time to pursue his career, marry for love, and have four terrific, brilliant kids. Enjoy them all - every minute
8
You're a good sister.
5
Beautiful story. Thank you.
5
Susan Shapiro's pieces are so chock full of insight, heart and humor. What a beautiful piece that brought tears to my eyes.
Her stories take me through comedic and sometimes dark caverns, yet they always emerge with poignancy and hope.
6
Gorgeous piece. Love the author's family for playing the disease game, but hate the disorders making up the answers.
7
Warm, funny, sweet.
2
Also, in terms of the rat, and your bosom, keep on taking it. But also dish it out.
8
Love this essay so much.
5
Whatever may come of Brian, I'm glad you've got one hand on him (so to speak) at all times. Also, it's good you're becoming a 2nd mama to your niece and nephews and fawning over their achievements.
8
Great piece...brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my own brother. Lost him 20 years ago to cancer.
12
Beautiful piece. So relatable. I have five older brothers I always thought were the favored ones. When my brother Michael was hospitalized for a serious brain injury years ago, I remember all the past hurts just melting away.
8
Another witty, heartfelt, beautifully written piece by Professor Sue! Reading this brings me back to the room I grew up in and also felt "homesick at home." Time gives us the opportunity to reframe the past and impact the future. I hope you have many more weekends exploring the city with your brother and nephews. Thanks for the inspirational read!
6
This piece nails the complexity and the and-yet-they-persisted nature of many families I have known.
8
What a beautiful story. !!! Really unexpected twist of fate - a testament to the hope that, sometimes, things really do turn around for the best when the mind and heart are open.
3
I cried at the end. I, too, lived sibling rivalry I gre to regret it. I think most of us have a story like yours to tell but don’t have the ability to write it so beautifully. Nicely done!
9
A stirring piece, beautifully written. I was moved by how the author outgrew her parents' imposed favoritism of her brother and came to love him wholeheartedly. Thank you, Sue Shapiro, for your fine prose and vital message.
18
What a beautiful essay. I need to read it once more, slowly. The first time I raced ahead because I needed to know that Brian was OK!
18
I love this exploration of sibling love. And this poetic line stopped me: "inventing excuses to drop by her dorm and spy my brother’s face in hers." Beautiful!
27
What a wonderfully honest exploration of the pains that family love and guilt can cause. Another articulate reminder that it's never too late to find redemption of one kind or another.
Jim Jennewein
Brooklyn
5
Family of origin dynamics are so hard to unpack. Thanks for giving me a break from my own family work to enjoy yours :)
8
I loved this piece. Affirms the hope that the love among siblings can puncture the bubble of rivalry.
4
Terrific, moving essay. Sibling relationships are so complicated. I know mine is with my own brother. What a great reminder to put disagreements/grievances behind in order to find connection and to celebrate this loving bond. Thank you for this piece! Calling my brother now...
6
A beautiful essay that is as artful as it is moving. I am going to go call my sister now, but first I will send her your piece.
5
Touching and so relateable. Life, your piece reminds us, requires a constant rethinking and discovery of what old frames we hold that no longer work. Made me want to hug my brother and you after reading.
5
Wonderful piece and I’m so happy this had a good outcome. Beautifully written.
10
Great piece with a surprising twist (at least for me). This has got to be the money quote: "... “Sue’s BRCA results and biopsies are negative,” he group-emailed our clan, my bosom now everybody’s business...."
12
WoW! Talk about a full circle moment. It's a rare and unique gift, to create a bond with the children of your siblings. I have the same with my brother's children.
4
Another gorgeous essay from master essayist, Susan Shapiro. And... brother love.
7
I love this piece, at the end I was crying! Beautifully written.
6
Terrific piece. A candid and loving take on sibling relationships that is filled with all the worry and wonder that come from the ties that bind.
4
I love the honesty in your essay. Beautifully written and painfully aware.
12
I am veklempt. Susan Shapiro's heartaching/heartwarming pieces touched me on the deepest level. She writes about universal themes – sibling conflict, illness, love, longing - with great perspective and humor. Chills!
7
This is so poignant and beautiful-- I loved it.
4
Sibling relationships are so full of tensions that change over the decades. I love how this piece captures that, so lovingly.
14
What a beautifully written, honest and heartfelt piece about the love between siblings and how it evolves—and often grows stronger over time.
5
Very touching, very funny journey as Ms. Shapiro takes over as Brian's champion. Her parents must have been proud -- or didn't notice.
11
Sibling relationships can be so complicated. It's amazing how near-tragedy forces us to finally put everything in perspective.
4
Beautiful, funny, charming and touching. A perfect piece!
5