In fourteen hundred ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
In America the “Indians”, the “Reds”
Blissfully unaware of the impending Death.
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Read up on the Aztecs. Check out Xipe Totec "the flayed god") and the skull rack. Ask how a few dozen Spaniards were able to conquer an empire with tens of thousands of warriors - it's because they had help from thousands of people from those the Aztecs had conquered, who were tired of the skull rack, Xipe Toltec and the thousands of sacrifices every year that the Aztecs required. If we are going to distort history to fit some approved narrative, we may as well be Chinese communists.
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Oh of course, it’s the white man’s burden. I am sure the few Indians left are grateful for European intervention to save them from barbarism. Read up on gun powder. Read up on immunity against foreign diseases. Read up on the constituency of Pizarro’s army which certainly was not from the most enlightened echelon of European society. That’s how they won.
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Great story about a lighthearted moment of connection among New Yorkers.
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He maybe smart enough to remember the ditty, he certainly gets no points for paying $5.08 for a cup of coffee. Stop reading history and concentrate on economics.
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No offense, but you should have walked out with 13.92. Surely the moment she helped inspire was worth a buck...?
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Mr. Bailey: Did the person making change have to look at the register to see how much change was coming to you?
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No tip?
4
1492 was the year that Jews and Moors were expelled from Spain. Their property was confiscated. The Inquisition was extended to Spain. The end of El Andalus at the height of Iberian civilization. The beginning of the destruction of American civilizations and the loss through diseases and murder of tens of millions of native Americans.
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Did you give a tip.
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Wait! Am I missing something? $5.08 for a cup of coffee?
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The coffee was artisanal, organic, free-trade, picked by well-paid migrants, small-batch roasted, served in a biodegradable cup with milk from grass-fed hormone free cows and was served to Ron in a gratuity-free establishment that pays all their employees a living wage with benefits. $5.08 was a deal!
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Columbus sailed the ocean blue
In fourteen hundred ninety-two
For many weeks he was at sea
With sailing ships that numbered three.
That's the version I sang in school.
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Thanks for a delightful Diary entry Ron, though for an historian like myself the woman’s comment about 1492 that “not many would remember that one” is a bit deflating. When I looked for the latest Metropolitan Diary entry I found the Times headline “Making Change” and the description: “Buying a cup of coffee leads to a memory of history learned in grade school.” The thought popped into my head that I was about to read an account by someone who somewhere in the city had just been charged the classic (and of course very long gone) ten cents for that purchase!
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I think it is actually correct that Columbus was preceded by Eric the Red.
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MW--
True enough. When folks complain about how the Vikings and Columbus treated people they encountered, I explain that it is their seamanship that is being celebrated. Crossing uncharted oceans and sailing past the point of return is an amazing feat of courage and seamanship.
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Thanks, Billy from Brooklyn. I actually was not sure- I think I read about it somewhere. Also, now that you put the celebration of Columbus that way, I agree with you. Thanks for that!
5
Love this Diary story! On what came after those famous two lines, I remember a caffeinated finals time in the law school dorm, Ames Hall. In a late-night pizza break, during which a few of us in the same class were sworn to stay away from cheating on the 24-hour take-home exam by conferring on test answers, this popped out, like a punch-drunk nursery rhyme by way of “Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf”: (and we were in Massachusetts, after all)
In fourteen hundred ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue.
And when she saw what she had done,
She gave her father forty-one.
(puzzled look) Wait. That’s not right, is it?
But there was no internet back then to look it up, so we went back to our respective dorm rooms not knowing what the right lines were.
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That’s a truly bizarre couple to contemplate Freddie—Christopher Columbus and Lizzie Borden. That pair might make for a fascinating addition to the (early) Modern Love column in the Styles section!
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Allen, since there’s been all this controversy as Columbus is not admired by all: We just performed a Columbus number the other night about the controversy, assuming it’s in acceptable spirit for here: (people liked the number, but didn't seem to laugh)
Tune of “Before The Parade Passes By”
[Columbus:]
Before my parade says bye-bye
May I weigh in on all this indecision,
Before my parade says bye-bye
And cultures face a wild head-on collision,
Since some feel it’s time to move on
And there's no way to mend all this division.
So as tensions grow
And our symbols clash
And the protests multiply,
I feel their pride again,
I feel their scorn again
I see my checkered past
Has people torn again
So will my parade - wave bye-bye
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