Of the sixty million people out there who voted for the president, likely a good two thirds or more of them will be slaving over their taxes, grumbling in unison and feeling the pressure of getting it done by midnight on Tuesday April 17. The sweet and beautiful irony in this is that they voted for a man who likely used any and all loopholes to get around paying any taxes at all and even if he did, we don't have a clue whether he and his accountants circumvented the IRS over many years and steadfastly refused to divulge his own taxes. What breathtaking irony it must be for those millions to wake up on the 18th of April and wonder why they voted for him and wonder why he refused to show his tax returns......
17
That's all good news at a time when good news is sorely needed. Laughter, too. Many thanks.
But shouldn't there be a separate multiple for confusion suffered in the course of trying to grasp and comment on things Trump?
I barely avoided a fopah, if that's the word I want, on hearing talk about Donald Trump's trip to Moscow involving some prostitutes, a bed, and a pea. I just naturally assumed that the young ladies had been tested to see whether they noticed one under the mattress.
But it wasn't that. Glad I didn't hit Submit.
7
Thanks for the laughs!
too bad some of the questions are just so terribly true, and I'm glad to say I cannot fill out form LOL.
6
I regard being an avid participant in the marketplace of ideas to be a form of service to my country. This is what we are about, right? A marketplace of ideas where we all contribute emotional labor. I don't need a tax write off though. Happy to contribute to democracy for free.
3
This reminds me of my first car. I so wanted to claim it as a dependent. The name would have been Chevy Che Vette. It was the most stress producing car I've ever owned. My friends and family informed me that a car is not a dependent. I still disagree but now that I own a less stress inducing vehicle I've given up the idea of claiming it as my one and only dependent. I will say that there was a ton of emotional labor involved with my first car. The suspense that came every time I tried to start it up while crossing my fingers and toes for good luck gave me panic attacks. Oddly enough the ones I have today when I think about Trump as president, are very similar in nature.
If I could claim my emotional state as a dependent maybe I could use the name Dee P. Ressed. I'll bet anything that Donald uses M. Anic Depressive as one his dependents.
21
My dad sold Chevies and even he tried to keep people out of Chevettes.
12
I have become very distressed trying to score my responses. In lieu of completing the form, please send me my $45 in your favorite cryptocurrency as soon as possible. Thank you.
12
If you call laughing at liberal hysteria labor, then I’m due a big refund.
4
I don't.
5
Fiction writers have to turn their stories into novels someone else wants to read before they get paid. Sorry.
4
Not bad...but I'm on Ms. Daniels side. Whatever it takes to bring the real slime-ball down. Pictures of him kicking puppies dressed in a ballerina outfit, anything..
Im off to file a tax addendum. Rebate for having to explain the Bill of Rights to self-proclaimed, too much flag-clothing wearing, flag-festooned car/truck driving, not active NRA paying members, but still possessing the bumper decal - uber patriots...!
Uber-patriots; who festoon their lives in flag imagery. Who never read the US Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, know what the Federalist Papers are, think SCOTUS is a rash, and use the words Communist, socialist and fake news at least in every other sentence. And get the first two wrong 99% of the times.
Rebate; $1200. (taxed of course at 80%)
28
Very funny, except for the extremely sexist and unnecessary comment about Stormy Daniels.
5
Care to explain how that was "extremely sexist and unnecessary"? Because that's a pretty serious accusation.
1
Great. Thank you for composing it.
4
How about a deduction for detours into bad places such as becoming a serial viewer of Stormy Daniels movies? If it hadn't been for President Trump's taste in extramarital vixens I may have spent more time at church. I have to say after the hours of viewing that I think that Ms. Daniels is a fine actress and could actually work in a movie with a plot.
9
It’s tax day.
So:
Whatever happened to his so-called tax audit. I assume it is still far from complete.
Or more likely, has never been begun.
I hope his supporters had a lot of fun filling out theirs.
14
Too late for myself to claim these deductions this year.
I sent my returns one day before the deadline and I do believe this is why their system went down today.
The system went into SHOCK because of the disbelief I could, or would ever do that...!
5
So does anyone think we will get to see trump's tax return(s)? Is the "audit" done? Does it matter anymore?
7
And the radio just forwarded the news that the IRS is having ‘technical difficulties’ with e-file. I knew that asking for my payment in Bitcoin seemed wrong. And I doubt that the Treasury has a P.O. box in Kenya. No collusion though. Our beloved country hasn’t been hacked by billionaires, I’m told. Not to worry.
17
Not amused. no, you should not care that im not amused.
I don't.
1
If you shut down your Facebook account not because they cannot insure privacy but instead because half of your friends feel compelled to report every conspiracy theory they read and you're so sick of it you could die, you get $10 from Mark Zuckerburg, but you have to reactivate to get it.
29
The agony of paying multiple healthcare providers after they've fought it out with your insurance. The agony of having to re-evaluate every year whether your insurance is as good as you could get. The agony of knowing that in other countries people just go to the doctor, bing bada, bing. And you know the doc is not a business man too.
28
I am beyond satire and humor caring for my mother dying of Alzheimer's at home 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, for which I receive no deductions or compensation. The Recognize, Assist, Include, Support, and Engage (RAISE) Family Caregivers Act RAISE does not authorize additional funding for the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services (HHS). It mandates the development of a strategy within a 3-year period, which does nothing to help us now.
11
I feel for you. I take care of my brother, who has advanced Parkinson's 24/7. As the old song said, "he ain't heavy; he's my brother." I don't resent him, but I resent a government that doesn't provide help for the caregiver. People can say what they will about the VA, but my brother is a veteran, and has a home health team that comes to the house. Even with that, I'm burnt out.
As far as paying taxes, we get a much smaller bang for our buck than any of the industrialized nations. I wish Americans would realize that paying higher taxes for healthcare, education and the other things Europeans take for granted, would be in their financial best interests.
19
Clearly, American productivity has taken a hit since Nov. 2016. I know mine has, between compulsive news reading and escapism.
And there's always the hope that he choke on a pretzel. That's what I hope to read every morning, just for a fraction of a second before I accept the new reality.
39
Pretzels are too healthy for him, but maybe the fast food diet will kill him? Alas, I fear he's like a cockroach and will outlast us all!
10
Yes Maybe he is the incarnation of the Kafka story Metamorphosis. Somehow this makes total sense to me!
5
How much emotional labor credit do I get for each time I feel compelled to write in a comment to this paper on Trump-related matters (or for slogging through the comments of others)?
37
Instructions for line 666:
To receive the full credit, your state must be both a gun and soybean producer. If your state produces:
(666a) Only one of these commodities, the credit is reduced to $15
(666z) Neither of these commodities, the credit is reduced to $3
The credit is payable, upon receipt of a:
> $4 shipping charge, for a $3 credit
> $20 shipping charge, for a $15 credit
> FREE shipping for any credit over $35
The credit will be delivered in US currency to a non-citizen who admits to living at your address
https://www.etsy.com/listing/491460750/100-trump-three-dollar-bills
7
"STOP. (Please!) You are not entitled to claim the credit." ... proceed to section D, line 37.
Brilliant essay all around!!
13
As someone who fervently has worked to defeat the actions of a deranged, criminal, traitorous US president I have earned a $2000 tax refund. I hereby grant anyone else by the powers vested in me to receive a full tax refund for the year 2017.
19
Should have a Part C. Are you part of a group affected by politics? And had to navigate more than normal adversities? If so, you might be entitled to reparations.
2
It doesn’t pay to feel sorry for yourself.
3
By the way, it occurs to me that Trump is a wonderful example of the Peter Principle. He has been a very successful liar, cheat and con man, moving up the ladder from a local real estate developer to a national TV star. But then he took one more step up and reached the level of his incompetence - not as President of the United States (though that, too) - but as con man. He advanced up the ladder to the point at which he could no longer get away with it. (We hope.)
33
Good to have a laugh. Maybe Mueller and the New York federal and state prosecutors can get us some money for pain, suffering and emotional distress.
7
"When you were arguing about politics, were the arguments with your parents? By refusing to talk to them, have you lost free child care?"
This hits a little too close to home. Something about this administration has exacerbated an already bad political situation.
I asked my parents - who believe every conspiracy theory the right-wing comes up with - not to talk politics with me. Its exhausting. They literally have nothing else to say except "Obama is a communist!" and [insert whatever talking point Fox News or Breitbart is pushing]. They refused, and accused me of being a brainwashed coastal liberal who needs a safe space.
So we just don't talk. At all. They've rejected a relationship with me and my children over ... what? The right to continue getting on their soap box without restraint? I don't know how long this familial cold war will continue. Unless Fox News tells them they should change course and be tolerant of their "snowflake" liberal children, I don't see any reconciliation.
Sadly, I don't think my family is an isolated case. I'll take my EL credit, along with millions of Americans, thanks.
69
I think you should attempt to reopen communications with your parents by reciting your recipe for tuna casserole. That should get them worked up, and once they start talking about something other than the latest Fox news conspiracy theory, they may be unable to stop. Hey, it worked for me!
6
Hi Boston,
I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. How sad that your parents think that scoring points (or at least yelling and screaming) in political discussions is more important than maintaining a loving relationship with their children and grandchildren.
I hope they come to their senses before it's too late.
20
Everyone has an opinion. Why are some more important than others?
How sad you would let Fox News disrupt your relationship with your parents.
Just shrug and move on. Like an adult.
Brilliant! Without wanting to be a wet blanket, you do realize that taking a tax credit for Emotional Labor reduces the federal tax revenue and would likely cut benefits to those that need them most. (Fat chance that a general will have to settle for fewer bombs.) Now if you could just rewrite the tax code to get Trump to pay for all these Emotional Labor credits, it would be a win-win: more money in our pockets and cathartic justice. But that has about as much chance of happening as Mexico’s paying for the wall.
20
Enjoyed this gallows humor!
I can claim most of these "tax credits," like a lot of readers. The difference is that I gladly pay my regular taxes, for bridges, roads, good schools and medical care. These "Trump taxes" have extracted such a high cost that I wonder if I will ever be thin, sober, or calm again.
17
Cool! Just did all the math - comes to a total of two cents. Which, these days, is worth even less than it's always been during my 67 years on this planet. But it was fun to take a few minutes break from the trials of citizenship!!
13
What? "Did you spend at least one hour per week in 2017 engaging in any of the following activities: texting Congress, etc." Only one hour?!?! If I'd have limited obsessing about our political situation to one hour per week - I'd still be sane and sober!
13
I guess the author is trying to say that emotional labor is actual labor the way tweeting about Trump is actual protest.
I would expect that 90% of comments will say what I will: "Thanks, I needed this right now."
P.S. My wife was born in Canada and became a U.S. citizen. Can she blame her parents for coming here against her will? Or, is there a reverse DACA bill I can send to Congress. Can she claim "nightmare" instead of "dreamer" status. Please wake ME when it's over.
18
Alas, she is doomed. She may even be conscripted to help build that Canadian Wall, which is designed to keep drug runners from smuggling crates of Viagra into he U.S. Oh... and it'll keep the rapists out, too.
6
If she was a Canadian citizen, she is still a Canadian citizen. Unless she formally renounced her Canadian citizenship, which the US State Department doesn't require anymore. So she can sponsor you for Canadian citizenship, and you can move to Canada !
ps. I know this stuff as I have dual citizenship.
3
I've thought of sharing this one with the woman who cleans our apartment building. She recently told me about being tired, having worked two jobs and to stay over after cleaning at a recreation place because the patrons wouldn't leave the swimming pool at closing time. (Staying over would include having to clean the pool area again for no overtime pay.) I don't know about her voting record, but the ultimate tragedy would be that she voted for Trump and Republicans. (But, Oh! the promises of stopping abortions, gay marriages and gun control!)
12
Do I get emotional labor credit for each time I feel compelled to submit a comment to this paper on a Trump-related matter and to read the comments of others? If so, assuming my emotional labor credit exceeds the total tax that I owe this year, can I carry over these emotional credits to next year(when hopefully there will no longer be a Trump presidency on which I will have to expend emotional labor)?
3
This made me chuckle! Although humorous, it is very true for me.
16
There is a thin line between truth and humor. This essay is proof of that. I wish governments all over the world would be more sympathetic to ideologically driven angst and neuroses but alas in our country the idea of actually compensating people for emotional troubles remains just that-- a joke.
Having said this, the humorous intentions of this essay are much needed. As Mark Twain once said "against the assault of laughter, nothing can stand"; not even the craziness of the Trump White House and our ideologically founded national zeitgeist. Perhaps it is only humor that can break down our divides.
20
I dig your point, but isn't compassion a kind of 'compensation?'
2
That's not what emotional labor means. Emotional labor refers to the process by which *workers* are expected to manage their feelings in accordance with organizationally defined rules and guidelines. It is a labor issue. Saying "my friend needed advice but didn't want to pay me for my emotional labor" isn't about EM, it's about being a bad friend. Stop trying to monetize civic engagement. It's every citizen's duty to contribute to our politics.
5
Um, satire?
6
See also:
/sat·ire
ˈsaˌtī(ə)r/
noun
noun: satire
the use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people's stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues
12
Probably not.
Well, no. Why give people a tax credit for doing something that they enjoy so much? Most of these ranters would have nothing else to do if it wasn't for ranting about Don T. They would be sitting around staring at the walls. Their lives would be meaningless. Why don't you write another little column making the case that all the anti-Don Trump ranters should be paying him due to all the enjoyment they get out of criticizing him 24/7? Really, Don should charge his anti-fans for doing his act. But I guess he is a nice guy. He does his act for free. I am not defending Mr. Trump. I am commenting on how skilled he is at driving his opponents completely nutty.
5
His act is anything but free. Whether it's the countless golfing trips to Mar-a-Lago, the parade of appointees who believe their only job is to lavishly spend taxpayer dollars, or the travesty known as tax reform, we're paying a very high price.
5
Nutty? Watching Trump's performance is more like watching an untalented clown. He's at times funny but you cringe laughing because he's probably going to hurt himself or someone else eventually. He's also not performing for free. The White House has been quite lucrative for Donald J. Trump and company.
3
You err is supposing that the disappearance of Don T. would leave us staring at walls with nothing to do. He's just one man. Look at all those hundreds of GOPhers in Congress, free of ridicule because Don T. is hogging the stage!
3
Brilliant, thank you. A much needed light moment.
I'd add:
-if you have stopped discussing American politics with European/foreign friends because you are: ashamed, have run out of explanations/excuses, are tired of reminding them you didn't vote for him, tired of explaining that you can't keep him off Twitter, or are afraid that they may lose entry privileges to visit you if their emails are critical of the govt...you may be eligible for a credit.
-If you are tired of debunking bizarre conspiracy theories for the umpteenth time.
-If you have started to feel like a civics, government, or history teacher...you may qualify for a special educational tax credit for providing free tutoring services online.
94
If you tell people you are Canadian while traveling in Europe.
I did this.
30
Bravo!
6
Why is this available only for US citizens? Tax-paying, legal non-citizens perform far more emotional labor of the types listed here and many others that natural-born US citizens will never fully understand.
44
See above, Re: "Satire."
1
LOL. Thank you for lightening up an otherwise stressful Trumpified week. Let's have more lighthearted pieces to help us keep our sanity. And congrats to all your reporters and editors on their well-deserved Pulitzer Prizes. It's the Times, the Post, and dogged regional newspapers that help us remember we are a nation of (mostly) law-abiding citizens who value morality and the rule of law. A special shoutout to Michael Schmidt, for TWO Pulitzer Prizes!
82
Yes Thank you for Times Reporters for your amazing work
4