George Orwell just got year wrong. It should have been titled, “2018.”
37
I hear the next experiment in Sweden is to see if foxes and chickens can be trained to abandon their culturally-based instincts and be friends.
39
What an awful experiment.
34
The effeminization of the Western male will be especially useful when under attack by the Nations who foster natural gender models.
38
As a male and long time kindergarten teacher, I find lots of irony in the fact that all the teachers mentioned are women.
48
Just to set the record straight: please forget that experimental stuff about forcing girls to scream and boys to play in the kitchen. No Swedish preschools are doing that. Kids aren’t forced to play with toys they don’t like or to behave in ways that are unnatural to them. What the teachers are doing is just making sure that there is opportunity for all kids to explore all options, and that no one is expected to act in certain ways based on gender. Boys aren’t forced to play house or wear pink clothes, but they are shown that it’s perfectly ok for them to do so if they like. Girls and boys are encouraged to play together, girls are not expected to be quiet and are allowed as much space as boys. The basic idea is to really let all kids be themselves and to be allowed to develop freely.
Benefits for my son: he has friends of all genders and plays happily with everyone, he wears whatever color clothes he likes, he knows that everyone has a right to be themselves and to be respected. It gets harder to maintain now that he's in school with older kids around, pushing more stereotypes on to the younger ones, but the teachers still do their best.
60
Thanks for writing-in all the way from Sweden! Wow. Your son sounds like he had a really good Pre-School experience. I wanted to comment on how you described what is going on now with the older kids. I think it is more of a matter of your child doing very well in School, like a Valedictorian would do, in terms of learning the lessons. But, now he is stuck with Students who didn't do as well, they aren't doing their homework, like your son is doing his homework. So, it isn't a matter of them being older, it is more of a matter of the need to separate your son into an above average classroom, perhaps even School. I suggest you look into a change for your son. I am working on an All Academic Brilliant IQ Track Program, but I am not sure when it will be added to the World Curriculum. Your son sounds like he would be a great candidate for such a program. Your son needs to be tracked, to avoid obstacles from the Students who aren't doing so well. It sounds like he is on his way to a Top Level Job. The Students who are "pushing stereotypes" are not on their way to such fantastic employment, thus positions in Society.
1
We have been learning for the past several decades how cruel it is to force heterosexuality onto gays and traditional gender roles onto transgendered people. This is based on the idea that every person has an inborn nature that can't be erased through indoctrination.
Yet many of the same people who believe this, at the same time believe that traditional sexuality and gender roles exist only because of indoctrination. In other words, a person at birth is a blank slate.
These ideas directly contradict each other. Both can't be completely true, and it seems likely to me that each is partly true. To deny either has the potential to create a lot of misery.
45
These poor kids! Brainwashed to ignore their nature for the sake of some cockamamie gender theory. This is no better than the old-time "girls can't do math" stereotypes: same level of prejudice, different polarity.
53
This is ideologically-driven, authoritarian, scientifically ignorant child abuse.
"testosterone exposure during critical periods of early development produces permanent behavioural changes. In humans, affected behaviours include childhood play behaviour, sexual orientation, core gender identity and other characteristics that show sex differences (i.e. differ on average between males and females)...
prenatal exposure to high levels of testosterone has a substantial influence on sex-typical play behaviour, including sex-typed toy preferences..."
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/m/pubmed/17074984/
24
Untwist your knickers, People. This is a very interesting experiment.
Let's wait a few years, and see the results. Okay ?????
16
This article reports on one of the girls who went through the program.
She's so offended by her classmates who married, had children, and dressed girls and boys in traditional pink and blue that she went out her way to chastise them.
Conclusion?
The program produces insufferable scolds, just like its current leaders.
44
Already tried it. Sweden still has the same proportion of nurse and engineers by gender. You can't change it, only in a lab.
17
Yes, we may see the results in a few years. But in how many years, I wonder? Also, can minors give consent to be used in an experiment?
8
I once heard a colleague proudly describe his daughter as "compliant." Barf!
20
This sounds like some science fiction movie where everyone is sexually, socially and culturally amorphous - a dystopian equality for all. Maybe the Swedes have evolved into a higher form of life, but that's a dreary world I want no part of.
33
"Does a girl miss out because she's encouraged to play softly in pre-K? Clearly not."
Clearly not...suuure. But let's go for the complete package, then - a steady diet of slight subtle behavioral curbs for boys, from the top 3 of my elementary school experience as a girl:
- Don't keep raising your hand when you know the answer, no one likes a show-off.
- Don't get your clothes dirty.
- Sit like a gentleman (it's hard to translate 'sit like a lady').
9
Rather than "no," why aren't we teaching all our kids to ask "why?" That would be my kind of assertiveness.
School ought to be a civilizing and world-view-expanding influence. Kids need to learn that teachers can be wrong, too; but one can only learn that through the tools of discernment, and argument in its positive sense. Debating, not shouting.
Biological sex differences are broadly generalized though there's of course a whole spectrum of individuality. Boys and girls do tend to learn differently; do tend to mature at different rates; do often feel natural affinity for different activities. To be different is not to be wrong but to be typical is not criminal.
Channeling energy positively is good. Stifling nature is bad.
17
This is undoubtedly the craziest thing I have ever heard. Let it stay in Sweden.
21
My criticism is editorial. Reference is made in the article to one adult person educated in such a school.
" Elin Gerdin, 26, part of that first wave, is studying to be a teacher. In appearance she is conventionally .......".
Surely there are more such adults, and surely they have been studied. How can such crucial research not be referenced by the vaunted NYT?
8
I am astounded that this is so controversial.
We do the similar things in other ways. For example we put efforts into encouraging school age boys to read books. Sadly this is often labeled a “girl thing” in recent decades. It takes effort and focus to correct that idea that discourages many boys.
We put effort into school age girls learning sports and other exercise. This was labeled a “boy thing” in my mother’s age and before title 9.
This is NOT about forcing kids to go against their personality or interests. Boys are encouraged to read books even to expand their skills and opportunities and perspectives. Girls are encouraged to do sports likewise. Just 2 examples off the top of my head.
You can adjust and modify by interest and personality only if all choices are truly available.
It is about removing stupid gender scripts that arbitrarily label things for boys or girls. That limit choices because of the overt and indirect approach or disapproval or bullying.
36
It is only fair to give credit to the great thinker Nikolai Grundtvig; he challenged the traditional conventions and paved the way to Folkbildning. Now this. I love it. You Scandinavians rock. And I loved Norsemen. When fun is employed, everything is naked and authentic, which brings more fun. Can it get better? No wonder you guys are a happy bunch!
6
Sweden is destroying its society and creating its own conflict. To be different is reachness not a threat. You don’t have rights to make everyone the same.
13
Love this article and the end of gender stereotyping. I believe it will make happier adults and far more humane societies. We limit ourselves when we force people to play out roles based on body type. We are so much more than the physical container we inhabit. And will someone please tell me why men have nipples when they don't nurse? What's their function? Is it possible we are more interchangeable than we imagine?
8
I think the wording in the article is misleading. For example, it says that boys were taught to massage each others’ feet, but—based on my experience living here for almost 30 years—I feel sure that both boys and girls were included. It says that girls were taught to yell NO, but I’m sure that timid boys, too, were taught/encouraged to yell NO when necessary.
The point is not to teach boys to act like girls and vice versa, but to counteract the gender brainwashing that is otherwise omnipresent, even here in Sweden. We treat boys and girls differently, whether intentional or not, because of our own gender biases. It’s great that the daycare centers are trying to mitigate this.
I raised a son here. He’s always been what is thought of as a typical BOY (trucks, dinosaurs, sports, no hesitation in speaking up if he disagrees with you or with what’s happening). But he also liked cooking, glittery jewelry and ”cuuuuute” baby animals. He also had (still has) a strong compassionate side and could comfort and calm his friends if they were upset. My son was free to be who he was, expressing both ”masculine” and ”feminine” traits and being seen for just himself.
These preschools aren’t trying to make kids into something they’re not. They’re trying to counteract the messages that are telling the kids to act—to BE—be a certain way because of their gender. I think it’s laudable and am so grateful that my son was raised here.
48
This is as heavy handed as telling boys to play with toy cars and girls to play with dolls. Children should be encouraged to be who they are and given a menu of activities. Social engineering may or may not work in a place like Sweden but it would go terribly wrong in more diverse countries.
Trying to erase or have the new boogeyman of the left -gender- scrubbed clean is trivial. It appeals to fragile individuals who do not feel comfortable with themselves. We should protect those individuals but not bend all of us to their view of society.
8
What I find frightening about the Swedish experience is that the experiments on these young children will turn them into androgens, neither male nor female. Nature did not intend us to be indistinguishable from the opposite sex.
So what is it all about? If it about equality between the sexes then the premise is wrong. The objective should be equality of opportunity between the sexes, not a manipulation of genetically driven behaviour.
It will result in chaos. What will these children be like when they are adults? Will we have a generation of shouting women and submissive sexless men? Nature will disagree and the male and female hormonal impulse will reassert itself to the detriment of both sexes. I suppose the next step these misguided experts will suggest will be to address the question of the pesky hormonal impulses.
If I were a parent I would get my children out of the school now. And I mean now.
14
This is conditioning and social engineering. Except where the Swedish government decides otherwise, social skills appropriate to a situation are in themselves gender neutral. Responses of children to social interactions are deemed appropriate or not by an "in-house gender expert!" The goal of rampant Liberalism, its least in Sweden, appears to be molding children to have the placidity of ruminants. It makes them so much more predictable and easy to control.
9
I really do wish that the educators in Sweden would solve the problem at its root, instead of fooling around with interventions that are far too late to have an effect.
The problem with sex differences goes all the way back to our primate ancestors. It's been demonstrated that, even in the wild, chimpanzee girls are far more likely to use objects such as sticks as dolls than are chimpanzee boys:
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2010/09/101220-chimpanzees-play...
If the Swedes could adopt a program to make sure that chimpanzee girls no longer have access to sticks to turn them into dolls, then I'm sure that in a few million years, their descendants won't have any sex differences except in anatomy.
Because we know that non-anatomical differences between the sexes can't be biological.
Why?
Didn't I say, Because?
10
“Science may still be divided over whether gender differences are rooted in biology or culture...”. Patently false.
13
Intentionally or not, the author neglects information regarding how immigrant children from the Middle-East react to this teaching/ Sweden has greeted the largest number of refugees (relative to population) in Europe, primarily from countries with specific gender roles. Can their children be taught to accept these non-gender roles? Do immigrant parents accept this as part of integrating into new Swedish lives? This reader wishes the author had included a more diverse group of young students than just the stereo-type blue-eyed blonds shown in the photos.
12
Unfortunately Barry (and most commentators here) does/do not know the difference between sex, gender and gender identity, which makes this article meaningless…
Sex=boy or girl; Gender=socially constructed differences in expressions of one’s gender identity (clothes, movements, toys, game preferences etc); Gender identity= the sex that one feels one belongs to and wants to express, regardless of biological sex differences below the neck (that is: the result of biological sex differences in the head).
Only the individual her-/himself can decide its own gender identity. No one but me can feel MY feelings/decide MY gender identity. For most people their gender identity is in line with the sex they were ascribed at birth, but for many it is not. ”Gender neutral” actually refers to sex neutral preschools. Not scary at all!
6
The very idea of behaviorally monitoring young children according to ludicrous "theories" are of course reprehensible in itself. The fact that the proclaimed benefits of such brain-washing is built on nothing but imaginations by some postmodern feminists does it even worse. (Is the next logical step that students who show talent for math and science should be forced to major in arts, and vice versa?)
Gender studies have gained academic prominence in Sweden (and elsewhere, I take it). The scholarly work they produce are often mind-boggling (to name one: a dissertation about the gender of the trumpet), as far as they are comprehensible at all. The authors cite each other back and forth, and the proof of "truth" is often that Derrida, Foucault or Butler said it.
It's mostly women who staff these gender faculties. Tanja Bergkvist shows no mercy with her academic sisters, but her male colleagues seem to have more forbearance with even the obvious lunacies. Male courtesy seem to be a genetic trait, like so many others.
8
I was a stay at home father starting in 1980 and I still do all the cooking and most of the cleaning. Why is it wrong if people are different or if girls and boys are different. The problem is how we use artificial measures to discriminate against people. A woman does not need to be like a man to be a doctor or scholar but she does need to be a woman to have children and breast feed them. Women smell different than men because they produce different chemicals and men react to those smells unless the perfume hides the smell. I suspect that some people are more interested in exerting control over others than in equality. There is always some group claiming to have the formula for perfection if only they can rule. By the way I had a youth bowling program and the young girls were much louder than the boys and often more aggressive.
7
As an American living in Sweden, I am looking forward to my boy starting preschool next year and learning that girls are his equal, and that he can exhibit "feminine" traits and that this is considered acceptable in society.
15
This is the same Sweden that tried to ban men from urinating while standing. Google it. This is the same Sweden with signs in subways telling men to close their legs when they sit, apparently unaware that this is not good practice for men's reproductive health - but no matter, men are not the priority in Sweden - it must be assumed that if women can sit with their legs completely closed day after day without ill effect, then men must also, because no differences can be admitted. Science is just a patriarchal discipline, after all. No need to pay it any heed. It is only a matter of time before surgery is done at birth on all children to eradicate all those "socially constructed" sex differences.
7
Teach respect? Great!
Ignore human nature? Not so great.
9
So Conversion Therapy is a good thing when it's for The Good Ideology.
Right.
16
There are so many layers of absurdity to this, I won't even get started. It would be an endless rabbit hole and I'd be writing all night.
9
It would be interesting not only to run preschools that encourage the students to try out aspects of the other gender, but also in the US to work on race. The film's where teachers note their gender specific behavior, it would be so interesting to do more of that in integrated classrooms, and see where it leads.
10
It startled me that I responded very strongly to the mere mention of small girls being taught to shout NO. If only I had learned that; if only someone had cared enough about young girls when I was one to teach me that instead of the endless scolding to sit still and "act like a lady" and the wedding dress paper dolls etc. etc. etc. My life would've been different. I had to teach myself to say no, and it's a good thing I had the feminist movement to help me manage it. This effort to work against the deeply internalized and damaging restrictions of conventional gender roles is the best thing I can imagine for children. Hear, hear, Sweden, and maybe someday the U.S. will have the courage and decency to follow suit.
27
I find this article very interesting. Having always moved to a beat of a different drum, I think this concept is refreshing. In my day it was always blue for boys and pink for girls, maybe it's time to break patterns.
12
"counteract traditional gender roles and gender patterns.”--- Since traditional gender roles are products from people who are not very well-educated, this gender-neutral curriculum is a good thing. I actually would go even further, and expand the gender-neutral into a curriculum that teaches the skills of: Professionalism. The Top Level Jobs require professionalism. Gender is considered to be superficial. Intelligence is emphasized. Equality is a basic foundation. Currently, there is a problem with not enough people in the population... the world population, achieving the Education that is required for Top Level Jobs. I know this because people who are putting together a new curriculum, perhaps even a new school, are looking at the classes I took, all the way through 52 Grades of School --- past the Post-Doctorate. What was it, that helped me achieve the Top Score, thus Top Resume: Brilliant IQ? I am Generation X, so these classes are more current than what a Baby Boomer would have taken. I will say that as a Female, I did have to say No a lot. Saying No a lot, did not help me fit in with the average population. I really developed the need to try to find people who are more like me, who were very well-educated. Especially concerning Dating. Lets say, saying No doesn't help if the other person isn't on the same Brilliant Track page as me! These Swedish Pre-School girls are going to run into the same awkward situations as I did, I suspect.
1
I am deeply troubled by the practice of forcing children to assume roles of any kind when they don't want to, be it "boy", "girl", "gender neutral", or "counter gender". This doesn't breed open mindedness or flexibility; it's just another version of forcing an adult ideology on children. and ironically, it's just a mirror image of the old system where "traditional" gender roles were strictly enforced.
Why not just let the children decide what they want to do, and play, and who they want to be? Give them equality of opportunity in choice of toys, attire, and let them make their own decisions? And if boys like to play with trucks, and girls like to play with dolls, let them?
30
Becasue, left to themselves, they will choose the "wrong" things -- i.e. what biology has programmed them to do. These teachers are just replicating Mao's model. Children had to be taught very early to resist individualism in favor of whatever "group think" the leadership favored.
12
As a retired elementary teacher, I find this fascinating. I'd like to hear more about what happens after preschool. I taught in a school where my principal had a transgender daughter. I think we need to expand the conversation in elementary school to respect the gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender community. We also need to add to our elementary curriculum suffrage, the wage gap, patriarchy, and the viewpoint that patriarchy is a bunch of rubbish and let the students do science based research. I hope there is a follow up in Sweden of the students in the preschool when they are 18 years old to see what the real impact of the preschool education had on their gender roles.
17
I remember a sequence of short life skills courses in jr high in which boys and girls learned alongside each other in what could easily have been stereotypical gender-divided topics such as home ec, shop, auto repair, among others. To this day, I am thankful for those learning opportunities.
12
While I applaud efforts to encourage children to explore the other side of gender roles, it can be a tricky balance. Some kids simply seem to be hard wired to be poster children for the traditional roles of their gender. I have 5 nieces. One absolutely refused to wear dresses as a child, though she was sometimes 'made' to do so (she is now a lovely adult who wears dresses with ease when appropriate); another was a girly-girl from the start very into dresses, lace, and any bling she could find. The other 3 were somewhere in between.
While it is very important to mix kids activities, while all children should be encouraged to explore activities of the other gender, insisting that they all move to the middle can be a bit contrived and force some children out of where they naturally want to be. What we must do is encourage and support all children, maybe especially the kids who do not fit the stereotype of their gender, e.g., the "tom boy" girl or the boy who is quiet, introverted, and doesn't care much about rough-housing or sports. The biggest problem with stereotypes are the unfair expectations they place on those who don't fit the pattern.
22
Love your story it is very common and you told it very well. I am a manly type of guy and was a rough and tumble boy but i was a stay at home dad and do the cooking and housework and fix things.
3
Speaking as a product of swedish schools and as a rather shy girl, I can see both good and bad with this approach. It would have been immensely useful to from an early age know that it's ok to stand up for myself and take up space, to know that that wasn't just for boys. Making everyone the same is a running theme in swedish schools, not just preschools and that was at one point quite damaging for me, I was not allowed to work at my own pace and as a result of that found school to be extremely boring, which led to some acting out.
In response to some of the comments here, the children will see all the usual gender norms when not in school, so hopefully what the school does is widen the perspective and show the girls that they are allowed as much space as the boys and show the boys that it's not strange for them to be dancing and drawing. Gender norms is fine as long as it doesn't become limiting, so long as it doesn't shame people into acting "like a girl" or "like a man".
Well, this was rambling and not very cohesive but hopefully at least mostly understandable...
40
I have two girls 6 and 8 years old we are living in Stockholm, the girls have been at two preschools and what is described in the article have I not experienced, at some schools it can be more extreme than others, like in the article,true but at many others it is not like this.
Br
Pontus
4
@Pontu Skoglund--------------------------It would be interesting to read how your daughters are developing their sense of gender and how it affects them.
I grew up in the United States and decided young by myself not to be imprisoned in the rules of either gender. I did not wish to be either gender; instead, I wished to be myself.
Even though gender "rules" are quite ferocious in the States, I slipped by without problems and have had a pleasant life, possibly because I ended up in the arts where, nowadays, almost everyone in that venue is far more interested in things other than gender.
My pleasnt life included raising two wonderful sons 3/4 by myself (they lived with me) who are now successful, daring and copassionate men. They have gifted me between them with 5 grandchildren, two girls and three boys. I smile every day.
8
Great for you and a nice story for others to hear, role models are important
3
this would be a phenomenal opportunity for a quasi experimental research design where the kids are given a baseline assessment and a post treatment assessment of their views on gender norm indicators. Otherwise this kind of practice will only TRIGGER those across the political and intellectual spectrum. granted, no amount of evidence will ever satisfy certain kinds of skeptics...
2
Honest Question: Why is it so important to actively counteract gender norms?
58
The reason is that much of what we internalize about right and wrong behaviors can limit us in life. That’s true for men and women. I nannied for a physician wife and husband. Their boys were friends with two girls, whose parents were both doctors too. Yet in play, the girl said to the boy, “girls are nurses and boys are doctors.” I realized despite having some strong examples to the contrary, she had absorbed this idea that only boys were doctors. The pressure to conform can be limiting, painful, and bewildering if you don’t follow the pack. Teaching children it’s ok for daddies to bake, nurture kids and do traditional dad things, and mommies to be doctors or weld and do girlie things leads to kids who worry less about what other people think, and focus more on what they can contribute. I’m the daughter of parents who bought me a chemistry set and a Barbie when I was 5. I was very girlie but I also knew I could be an astronaut. I was told I was smart, strong, and funny.....and pretty. All kids should be able to be well rounded, know they can do anything they want and not be limited by gender. Not every kid is given that encouragement!
6
I am just wondering how there are toddlers in preschool. I thought preschool was only for those around ages 3 and up when you're not a toddler anymore. Is it new because I didn't know a 1 year old can go to pre school?
1
Yup, fairly normal over here to have ~1.5 years parental leave with the toddler and then enroll them in preschool - both parents work more or less full-time after that. If the child gets siblings, they’re only entitled to a limited time in preschool - typically 15-20h/week.
Sure, some people stretch out the 480 days parental leave for years, but I’d say the norm is pretty much that within two years the kids are in preschool.
12
We all want the state to raise our children since government knows best after all we are created to have a career and then die before we use up health care dollars or pensions.
3
I’m a high school English literature teacher in a Chinese school in Beijing, and gender comes up frequently in the classroom. Ironically, my English Department has six male teachers and no females - pretty much the opposite of most departments in American or Australian English departments. But we teach our young adults about gender roles and social conditioning. Students are interested, but only superficially in my view.
China is very traditional when it comes to gender and other similar ideas of recent decades that are normative in the West. When you ask a Chinese Mum why her little boy has a plastic machine gun and is dressed in ‘boy’ colors, she looks at you uncomprehendingly. It’s not even a conversation here. If I brought this up with my kids’ kindergarten teachers, they wouldn’t have the vocabulary to have the conversation, in English or Chinese. This echoes many of the comments accompanying this article; many people don’t know what gender construction means conceptually. It’s not their fault. It’s an entire discourse that is fairly new if you haven’t spent four years in a humanities department.
16
I was a "tomboy"--a girl who wore miniature army fatigues or jeans and flannel shirts or t shirts. That was my father's influence but it suited me living in the country, running the fields, climbing trees, building forts. But my grandmother cared for me day to day, and while she never said a thing about my clothes, she bought me the most exquisite dresses of velvet and lace, which was what I wore weekends. I was given both choices and to this day I still feel comfortable either in jeans or velvet. Give me ruffles. And am so thankful for my grandmother's non-judgemental offerings.
When I went to school and was segregated from playing with the boys, though, I was miserable. I loved helping my grandmother cook and bake real food, but never was much interested in playing house. Later in life when the women and men separated to different corners or rooms after dinner I was bored out of my mind until I started staying back with the guys to discuss politics instead of fashion and food with the women. Not all of us are wired the same, and just letting children know what all the choices are is valuable.
36
Not arguing with you --I was a "tomboy" too-- but I think that girls do get more of this freedom than boys do, to go back and forth and try out different roles. We can comfortably wear pants or a skirt!
3
There is value in teaching people behaviors they need to learn, like saying NO. There is value in teaching them empathy by exposing them to what other groups experience. There is value in encouraging them to enjoy things they might otherwise avoid, like having fun in the mud. A lot of this just seems to be about showing kids that they don't have to instinctively limit their own experiences and behaviors along gender norms. That seems like a great idea.
Is it good or bad for society to associate a gender with a color scheme? I really can't find anything wrong with that, aside from the obvious risks of letting other people decide what we should think. As long as the schools are reducing outside influences and not generating new ones, this is probably a very mind-opening approach.
It's funny how some of us might recoil at the idea of boys in a kitchen. But in my personal life, I've found that some adult women love nothing as much a man who can cook for them... My schools did nothing to prepare me for that.
17
Interestingly, while Sweden is a model of state-sponsored egalitarianism, their gender 'wage gap' is toward the middle of the pack for OECD countries, and significantly behind those of countries like Latvia and Columbia. Much of this gap can be accounted for by a divergence in vied-for occupations between men and women. In fact, gender disparity by occupational category is greater than Sweden than in the United States.
In other words, in an egalitarian society where women and men receive identical benefits and are free to pursue their interests, there is self segregation in the occupational realm not dissimilar from many other advanced economies.
Perhaps societies should be focusing on basic moral lessons and personal responsibility. Men and women should be free to pursue their interests and carve out a life that works well for them while respecting and supporting one another.
Having the govt attempt to neutralize normal behaviors in children seems like an irresponsible experiment bound to go awry.
27
The line -state sponsored - says it all
PS: Science is not divided on whether gender differences are biological or cultural. All science outside the west links gender differences to biological sex.
Only a small number of western "scholars" still cling onto the outdated belief that gender is a purely social construct. I wonder why.
16
Sex is about anatomy and gender is about consciousness. Gender is neurologically determined rather than "just" a social construct. Gender and anatomy are not the same thing... and they don't always match.
1
Why not let the children decide for themselves what activities interest them?
33
Because children are political tools.
6
because they don't, they rely on what society/their family/the world at large has told them is acceptable for boys and girls to play with. Look at all the marketing kids are surrounded with - how much of it shows boys with dolls and dresses and girls with cars and superheroes? If they don't see it they can't be it. Do we really think boys 'naturally' dislike pink and skirts, as if it is some kind of biological need? It is because from the moment they were born they have been taught what is 'male' and what 'female'. Sigh.
4
It's good up to a point but since most of the teachers are women they model gender preferences at the same time they are supposedly fighting it. In some instances, the women teachers take out their man-hating on the boys. It is not surprising in the Swedish workplace that women are usually the behavioral problem. It needs to be researched and the results not hidden in the usual political correctness.
10
"the women teachers take out their man-hating on the boys."
"It is not surprising in the Swedish workplace that women are usually the behavioral problem."
Kevin... do you have any data to support these statements or do you just have a bad case of toxic manhood psychology?
36
“Results are unclear”
I’d like to eventually know how the children handle the confusion of crossing the border between their school house back to the surrounding world of adult role models
5
Why are we trying to deny gender? I really don't understand the obsession with this topic, I thought we were supposed to celebrate who we are.
30
@Terry Grosenfhelder-------------------------"I thought we were supposed to celebrate who we are.'
Supposed by whom, Terry? That is the question.
How disgusting. This is why I laugh when Europeans claim to have an advanced society. Goes to show that a country can have high living standards, but backwards morality at the same time. Even small animals understand gender essentialism.
Academia tends to attract childlike adults who fear differences -- in this case, sexual dimorphism. This is a growing problem in most developed countries, and a new is social paradigm to regulate runaway academia and prevent further radicalization.
21
@Ryan Wei---------------------1)" This is a growing problem in most developed countries" Who, specifically, Ryan, designates that this is a growing problem? Could it be a particular group that feels that this a problem?
2)" Even small animals understand gender essentialism." I am a large animal, Ryan. How about you?
2
We’re going to work on the animals next,
1
Why not destroy gender? Why is gender so great? Gender is a social construct and a lie. Maybe testosterone makes men angrier and more violent and estrogen makes women more submissive and loving, but isn't the goal of society to overcome our natural tendencies to be murderous animals?
I for one think an enlightened society would have no gender. Men would accept their biology and make efforts to become less violent and dominant, and women would accept their biology and make efforts to be less submissive.
What the heck is wrong with that? Please someone tell me WHY gender is a good thing?
12
I am all for mitigating gender stereotypes but this academically popular notion that gender is nothing but a social construct contradicts my empirical experience. 63 years ago today I was born with a male anatomy and a female gender. And my female gender didn't come from my culture or my environment. In fact it was abhorred by my culture and environment. It was and is neurologically driven. Because I don't invest in or collaborate with gender stereotypes I do not wear clothing which is culturally considered to be female. I don't have to dress up like late career Lucille Ball to have a female gender. But emotionally and psychologically I am female. My gender is going to be exactly what it is regardless of my wardrobe. Sex is about anatomy and gender is about consciousness. And gender is neurologically driven and not culturally determined. If it was culturally determined my gender would match my anatomy.
15
How would you feel if, sometime in the not-too-distant future, scientists could employ their new gene editing technologies and reconfigure your neurologically-driven gender?
This is what I find somewhat unnerving about those who favor the Swedish approach: where do they draw the line? Someday, perhaps, we will all look and behave exactly alike. How would you feel about that?
1
@TOBY--------------------Thank you, TOBY, for your lovely comment but I pose a question to you; what if the problem is that cultures have cruelly constricted the characters of both genders in order to validate a hierarchy of value that confers abundant benefits on one but not on the other? We're looking at greed, here, but greed, as you know, is very very powerful. It tries to justify it's self in all sorts of ways. A horrid one in our cuture tried to justify slavery by claiming the black people were only 5/8th human.
2
This sounds like a perverse social experiment from a sci-fi movie. Too bad it's true. When you send your kids to a gov't school you get govt programming.
21
If we are dealing with nature vrs nurture what about neurologically driven gender differences? Should they be nurtured or suppressed? Especially when anatomy and gender are different. I was born with a male anatomy and a female gender and it definitely was not something that I picked up from the environment. It was also not the result of desire, determination or decision. It was preconscious... like writing with your left or right hand. It was not a choice. It just was. Mitigating gender stereotypes definitely seems like a good thing, but as someone who was harmed by growing up having my neurologically driven gender reality seriously suppressed by my culture and environment, not to mention educational system, I am concerned that this pedagogy may fail to respect the natural neurologically driven gender differences in some of these children. And obviously this applies equally to children whose gender matches their anatomy.
8
I don't remember my Pre-School curriculum, but I can say that whatever it was, it did not prevent me from achieving the Top Standard Test Score: Brilliant IQ. So, thank you Jewish Center Pre-School in Bexley, in Columbus Ohio. I remember my favorite time, was celebrating Shabbat by sitting around the table with everyone, and drinking wine (Grape Juice). I liked the Grape Juice! ---- Having the curriculum emphasize Equality is on the right track. Actually, understanding Equality is a requirement in higher level testing. Thus, it is a requirement for Top Level Jobs. The problem becomes which curriculum is the best curriculum? Is it Sweden's? Is it France's? etcetera.... Right now, there is too much variety of curriculum choice. And that is not fair. Every Student in the World, should receive the same, best curriculum.
1
Children growing up, of all genders and sexualities, are forced into roles and behaviors that aren't just uncomfortable, but can be harmful. Girls who are taught to be ladylike and non agressive might be easier targets of sexual abuse in life, and boys removed from enforced macho behavior and attitudes might be less inclined to bully, or harrass.
I think the type of progressive education featured in this article is as a step forward for humanity. A future of more enlighted generations, not tied to their born or chosen gender and all that entails,or expecting other's to be, can only be a good thing.
17
Boys and girls are not the same. There are consistent difference between them across virtually every cultuers that appear in the earliest years -- most markedly, for example, in small boys rough and tumble play -- that are amplified through the life cycle. According to the article politically correct school systems now manipulate play groups, dress and the language itself to force children to conform to the currently fashionable ideology of how children "ought to be." The chance of success is modest, but the cost to children is likely to be substantial.
15
Well... obviously you have your own ideology, whether fashionable or unfashionable. as to how children "ought to be." What make yours better than theirs?
5
@Publius----------------------You must be a boy defending your privileges. Yup, privileges. Example: when I started teaching my salary was 20% lower than the salaries of the male teachers hired the same year and with the same credentials as mine. I asked the principal why. " Because", he said, "men have to support families." "But", I replied, "I am supporting my family." He did not reply to me and certainly didn't raise my salary
5
Thank you for providing this powerful argument against public funding of childcare centers, as this debate is now ongoing in the USA.
With government funding comes government mandates.
The mandates promote the interests and values of the dominant power in government.
What Sweden is doing here is nothing less than an uncontrolled, unregulated social science experiment on children – the outcome of which will not be known for decades.
20
Sadly, private enterprise also likes to experiment on the population, or get them hooked on their products. Why do you think Google and Microsoft are so keen to be in American classrooms?
14
"The mandates promote the interests and values of the dominant power in government."
You sound like you are as afraid of Betsy Devos as I am.
3
I think it is good to expand the range of a child's behavior and experience. At pre-school in the US we teach children to share and be kind and not to to hit or steal toys from each other. I see this Swedish pre-school as expanding the range of behavior that is allowed for both boys and girls, not restricting or forcing. It is teaching and encouraging. Let the boys and girls try new and different things! I am surprised at the all the responses which view this as indoctrination that is against nature.
14
"I am surprised at the all the responses which view this as indoctrination that is against nature."
I am surprised that you find nature surprising.
2
I find this approach interesting - I like that teachers are trying to be more self-aware of what they are saying and to whom. I don't know why so many commenters have a problem with moving away from traditionally gendered thinking. Ideally, we should treat all children as individuals who can choose to become who they want to be, but no one is raised in the absence of many many gender-conforming stereotypes, however conscious the adults around them may be. There are many studies that show the pernicious effects of implicit bias. As a female physicist, I am acutely aware that even in the physics classes I teach, the women students are less willing to speak up for fear of being wrong than the men - speaking out of turn has been programmed out of them since an early age.
15
It seems seems to me that children are being urged to do the opposite of what comes naturally to them. So boys should be in the kitchen, and girls should be screaming. Instead, why not encourage both sexes to be calm and considerate, with a diverse range of hobbies, from fixing cars to whipping meringues?
39
It is incredible how far the dogmatic will go to deny reality. Now speaking scientific truth is being criminalized in some countries when it contradicts the ideological imperative of those in control. So boys, you like to do 'boy' things? So, girls, you like to do so-call 'girl' things? OK then, we will MAKE you do the opposite, because we really wish you weren't different as that is very inconvenient to our political views.
7
Let’s try to raise all children to act like men - real men - intelligent, decent, responsible, logical, tough, and hardworking.
If all kids were raised to think and act like real men, America would be even better !
5
I think real women are pretty tough, intelligent, kind, and hard working too. If all kids were raised to treasure those values, rather than a particular activity — whether it is watching football or making pies — there might be an improvement.
7
Laughing!
4
I agree that the qualities you mention are all laudable in people of any gender and should be encouraged! ..... If there was only a way to for "real men" to somehow unlearn the propensity to murder and rape - which, interestingly, women seem to be largely immune to - the world would truly be a wonderful place.
6
In my youth all left-handed children were forced to write and paint with their right hand. This was in the behaviorist and rather cruel 1950s. Then we saw liberation on many fronts, and could never imagine that a similar kind of sociologism would ever return. But with postmodernism it did, this time in so called gender theory.
This gender madness, as Tanja Bergkvist rightly calls it, has got a foothold in top political circles in Sweden, and directives are issued to preschools. Luckily it's mostly in Stockholm and some other places that these ludicrous "theories" are taken seriously. In small cities like the one where I live, the preschool teachers just smile with leniency and do an excellent job without postmodern eccentricities.
The gender madness is not limited to preschool pedagogy; it takes all kinds of unbelievable forms. Tanja Bergkvist, who has a PhD in mathematics, and a great sense of humor at that, kills these esoteric fantasies with wonderful satire in her blog (it could almost be worth learning Swedish just to enjoy her writings).
33
This is a good initiative on Sweden’s part, and the reactions from American NYT readers are as might be expected, at least on the surface. Look deeper, though, and you find a different pattern: Collaboration amongst the rich who could afford good good schools, and rationalization of the existing order amonst those who couldn’t. Acceptance of divisions between men and women is like acceptance of divisions between races or ethnic origins. It’s made to look like wisdom derived from ages of experience, when in fact it’s merely conditioning that the recipient has failed to adequately examine.
7
Stand naked in front of a mirror beside someone of the opposite sex and then tell me that men and women are the same. Oh but that's not meaningful? The insistence that the difference in the sexes is only visual and has no other dimension, none that could affect the interests of girls on average versus girls on average, is absurd. This is simply ideology in denial of science. No different than flat Earthers or climate change deniers. It is the same psychological phenomenon, but on the left rather than the right.
4
All this has come a little too late to protect me from freezing on the way to school in Noo Yawk, all those winters ago. We couldn't wear pants. Even in HS a teacher sent a classmate home for wearing culottes one spring.
Ah well. I was glad to get my son's hand-me-downs (hand-me-sideways?) during that brief period of time when we wore nearly the same size. I've still got those Taz crew sox and Bugs Bunny t-shirts, and his sweatpants have turned out to be remarkably durable.
I do think it's reasonable to recognize that we recognize sex differences as part of the biological imperative to find mates, though there is of course plenty of room in life for individual variations that may happen to preclude natural reproduction. We're not likely to run out of new generations any time soon.
Male chefs have always been a societal norm so that kitchen shouldn't distress anyone; rural women everywhere have always hefted dangerous tools; save yourself angst and buy baby clothes in tasteful shades of green so nobody yells at you.
6
As the world changes, so will its pre-schoolers who become future citizens. My own pre-school boy, who once had to see a substitute doctor at a clinic visit, remarked that “he didn’t know that a man could be a doctor.” This same boy, now 13, is beyond thrilled to see the new female Doctor Who.
6
So comforting to know that Sweden cares enough about girls to teach them to be expelled from school at the same rate as boys, to become homeless at the same rate as boys, to be sent to prison at the same rate as boys, and to commit suicide at the same rate as boys.
Frankly, Swedish - and American - society should spend more effort on addressing the REAL gender inequalities before obsessing about gender roles in primary school.
10
Perhaps most important, we should also prepare girls to expect to die a violent death at the same rate as boys. Contrary to most people's norms, at present, in the US, boys now have the clear advantage, being up to three times more likely. This is manifestly unfair.. Gender equality! One wonders is trans-sexuals take this into account.
5
This comment thread shows that America desperately needs schools like these. The article clearly outlines how gender roles are influenced by how children are raised, including how teachers treat girls and boys differently, and yet commenters are eager to claim "biology" makes girls draw female faces wearing makeup and boys avoid playing in kitchens.
9
The role of a school is to teach academics, not to impose the value system of extremists - either right wing or left wing - onto children. And any program or class that has as its aim the overthrow of current social norms that are deeply rooted is extremist. It is no different than imposing religion in the public schools. You may do that with your own children at home (or in some private school you pay for) but not with mine in public school.
8
Why are children who don’t conform to their gender roles any better than those who do? It was even said in the article that children are indoctrinated to not conform to gender roles. This makes it seem as though boys who act boyishly (can we still say this?) and girls who act girlishly are somehow defective.
Old Hegel was right: every idea, when it leaves the abstract and becomes concrete, eventually becomes its opposite. The fight against the orthodoxy — the gender roles — is already becoming another orthodoxy: the orthodoxy of non-conformity. This will not lead to a more artistic and creative society. It will lead to a society of confused and, perhaps, dysfunctional adults, who were raised to be disorderly in a world where order is scarce everywhere, and urgently needed.
37
So if girls are being loud, that's great. And if boys are being loud, they need to paint and play in the kitchen?
Why not encourage all kids to play in the kitchen, and be loud, and all the rest?
79
I wanted to play with toy soldiers and cars with my friends when I was seven years old in 1957. Tomboys would have been welcome. As far as I recall, I just wanted to. Maybe "Have Gun Will Travel" planted that fascist patriarchal need in my subconscious. So what. Oh, dear me, nobody told me this was wrong, and I should have been wearing tutus while the girls beat me up. The girls did that to the boys in junior high school anyway, due to growth and physical development spurts. This is not about diversity; it's PC run amok. I recall a TV report about PC in the British classroom, where textbooks were not allowed to show girls being kind to horses. I suppose Sweden is rich enough that they can transcend Maslow's hierachy of needs and create new Orwellian nightmares.
38
Good luck with trying to undo the gender stereotyping. I've watched my friends and relatives interacting with their babies, from their very earliest days. Mothers boasted whenever their infant sons hit anything with their tiny fists that they were 'real boys', but hushed their infant daughters if they shouted, using their own hands to confine the movement of their daughters's. I could not believe how early all this started: right from the start of life.
We could use a little Sweden over here.
44
My son, who is now 22, was fortunate to attend a school in the U.S. that operates on a very similar model to the one described here. He spent pre-K through grade 4 in the most inclusive, gender neutral, kid-oriented learning environment I have ever encountered in these United States. The result? I have a son who is thoughtful, respectful, smart, sensitive, and equipped to live in today's world. Adults routinely compliment my husband and me on how well we raised our son - polite, erudite, informed, well-spoken and caring are words we hear repeatedly.
My ONLY regret/sadness about my child's elementary education? He attended a very small, private school. Although the school had generous financial aid and a practice of admissions that maintained a diverse student population, the reality was that the school could only serve a tiny sector of my city's children.
I fervently believe that EVERY child's school should be this good. If one little school can do it -- and on a shoestring budget-- then it should be possible this kind of quality can be replicated. Public education in the U.S. fails our children daily, even when kids are not being shot in their classrooms. Gender stereotyping is just the tip of a humongous iceberg.
59
E, you might find this hard to believe after your N=1 child rearing experiment, but millions of males have turned out exactly like your son without all this gender manipulation, biology erasing "education."
His character and temperament is probably more a reflection of you and your husband, than any few hours a day in school.
6
My father didn't care whether his kids were boys or girls, and he treated us all the same. We all learned how to change tires, cook, operate a sewing machine, and repair toilets flappers, and were ferried to the sporting activities of our choice. Dad also vacuumed, did dishes, and gardened alongside my mother. When we grew up, we were all expected to attend college.
That's how you teach gender equality.
150
Males and females are biologically different. That is fact. That one is better or inferior to the other. That is nonsense.
32
the point is, my dear Fred, biology is NOT sociology. Pretty simple, right? Why lose half your IT specialists in training, because they were shouted own in math classes and assigned to take cooking classes.. For that matter, why lose half the master chef's because they don't want to work with the roughness of the male professional kitchen?
13
Do you have any idea of how biological development works? The brain is not fixed at birth but forms its circuits as a direct consequence of experience.
Biology will trump ideology every time. So sorry. (I’m Canadian)
Cheers
7
For all those who seem so down on this gender-neutral approach to preschool, please consider the cost and benefits. These children will have the rest of their lives to be as "manly" or as "womanly" as they want. Does a boy loose out on anything by being encouraged to be more patient, artistic, or nurturing than might come naturally? Does a girl miss out because she's encouraged to play hard in pre-k? What an opportunity this is for the vast majority of children who don't completely fit either mold to learn, grow, and mature into themselves without the confines of gendered expectations! Gender can be a vice. It shapes who we grow into, and often not for the better.
And for those who favor a more traditional approach, look where that has landed us: toxic masculinity, a gender wage gap, eating disorders and body dis-morphia, and the need for a #metoo movement. Do you think treating preschoolers as equals regardless of biological sex would be worse than all that?
231
This is a pretty quintessential New York Times comment. The costs of this gender-neutral approach to preschool are making a bunch of boys do things they clearly don't want to do - not to mention the monetary costs of hiring in-house gender experts.
Does a boy lose out on anything by being encouraged to be more confident, active, and curious than might come naturally? Does a girl miss out because she's encouraged to play softly in pre-K? Clearly not. At best, you're saying that everyone should be forced to be a certain way, for the benefit of the relative few that are; and that might be fine in and of itself, but the problem is that the people who are pushing this theory clearly have greater plans. I don't have a problem with people being allowed to be themselves, but gender experts obviously do, as you can see in this article.
For those who favor a more traditional approach...look where that has landed us: the Internet, a near end to world hunger, a near end to world disease, near-limitless energy...really, I could go on. But this is really where it becomes the quintessential NYT comment, because you're assuming that gender-neutral preschool would actually fix these problems...even though what's actually made these problems better is the "traditional approach". Do you think there was less sexual assault and gender discrimination 100 years ago? Anyways, even while trying its hardest not to, this article basically admits that gender-neutral preschools don't change behavior.
14
Well said, Andrew.
how is encouraging activities based on gender, albeit opposite to our stereotypes, gender neutral?
5
The most important thing anyone rearing a girl can do is to teach her to say no. Some of the saddest stories coming out of #metoo involve women, usually young women, who felt that they had to endure groping or sexual threats because they had been taught - by all of us - that women mustn't make a scene.
I'm happy for the little boys who enjoy playing in the kitchen, but it's women who can shout "No!" who will change the world.
174
The most important thing anyone can tell a girl child is that she owns her destiny, that her opinions are important, and that there are boundless opportunities out there for her, if she can just figure out how to express what is of interest or important to her, and then go after it. I only have sons, and they’re progressing fine. I have a granddaughter, and seriously want her to absorb this message. ...but I trust that her father, my son, will plant the requisite thoughts.
11
"The most important thing anyone rearing a girl can do is to teach her to say no."
This is definitely true, but I'm skeptical about theories that argue that oppressive gender forces are why women don't come to it as naturally as boys do. Speaking of groping, some women have said that they're afraid that if they say no, their partner would hit them. Even if my partner was a man, my automatic response would be "OK, let's fight then", not to avoid the fight. And that's not because I'm confident that I'd win; it's just that until I wrote this comment and thought about it, I didn't realise I could lose. Maybe that's society, but I don't buy it.
2
As a girl growing up in the 60's and 70's, I was raised to be polite, well-mannered and avoid being too loud. As a young woman, my default response was to be polite and resist meekly in instances where I should have been assertive and insisted that my first "no" be respected. Fortunately, I was never assaulted. Years later, when Gavin DeBecker, author of Gift of Fear, gave an example of the woman who is too polite to persist in saying no to a man who just wants to "help" her by carrying her groceries into her apartment, even though she feels uneasy, I knew that could be me. Hearing DeBecker was a light-bulb moment for me.
9
The absence of male teachers in this article is striking.
223
Regarding the comments observing that there are only women teachers here:
Part of what this is program trying to correct is the stereotypes of only girls or bits can do certain things.
Teaching boys it’s ok to do art and play in the kitchen is a foundational step for being ok to have a job that was labeled “not for boys.”
We have to break those rigid gender scripts. Only after that will be be more men and the general population think it’s ok to be a preschool teacher.
6
You don´t need males anymore, when "female gender" issue can mitigate heterosexuality.
Unfortunately, that's common in all Scandinavian countries. Part of the problem is, that even men who do want to work with children, stay away from the profession. That is primarily due to their fear of being accused of being a child abuser/paedophile.
When men do work in pre-school institutions, they try to make sure that they're never alone with a child, without a female colleague being present at the same time. Not least in situations where a child needs to be comforted, go to the bathroom, or have a change of clothes.
2
Such programmes drive insecure men insane.This would never work in the US where the proportion of men insecure about their masculinity is exceeded only by the proportion in the Middle East and India.
10
I don't like this. There's nothing wrong with teaching boys to be more considerate and gentle, but forcing them to play in a kitchen because you saw them getting rowdy on a playground is stupid. That's what boys do. You can go find the most isolated native tribe in South America or Africa, that has had no exposure at all to the outside world's strict gender norms, and you will see boys behave more or less the same way they do here. Let the girls say no and the boys dance, but recognize that at least some of this behavior is innate. Nothing wrong with that. We don't need to beat ourselves up every time a boy kicks a ball.
103
Every little boy I've known has loved toy kitchens. I've also noticed quite a few men who can cook.
15
Native tribes are pretty big on gender discrimination. One example: the Himba women of Namibia have been banned by the men from using any water due to some great drought a long time ago.
3
It's not only about what boys do. There are girls there too, doing what each of them already does, or might learn to do if given the chance. Who knows what's "innate" for any particular toddler other than bodily functions?
2
Most of the master chefs of the world are male so of course boys should run the play kitchen, am I right?
15
The irony here is that that the empirical evidence shows that, in gender-liberal countries such as Sweden, psychological gender differences are actually LARGER. To quote researcher David Schmitt, "Empirically, sex differences in most psychological traits—in personality, sexuality, attitudes, and cognitive abilities—are conspicuously larger in cultures with more egalitarian sex role socialization and greater sociopolitical gender equity." Source: Schmitt, D. P. (2015). The evolution of culturally-variable sex differences: Men and women are not always different, but when they are... It appears not to result from patriarchy or sex role socialization. Source: Chapter in T. K. Shackelford & R. D. Hansen (Eds.), Evolutionary psychology. The evolution of sexuality (pp. 221-256).
22
Wow, it's almost as if testosterone makes the boys more boisterous than the girls, who will eventually develop instincts to mother their children. The NYTimes doesn't like that, because it would prevent women becoming the assertive office drones that American society so idolizes.
20
Funny. Sad. Insane.
25
How is forcing kids into rejecting gender roles better than forcing them to acceot them? Seems to me the goal is to destroy gender and these kids are only the tools. Thats rather disgusting if you ask me. Let the kids have a choice, but that means respecting what they choose.
99
By that logic, I'd let my kids "choose" to speak 6 languages but shucks, they are only immersed in one. (Translation: gender labels are their own form of immersion.)
5
As a mom to a 2 year old, I’ve been amazed how much time adults spend policing my son’s gender.
Almost every day, we receive some kind of comment like “that’s not for you!” from an adult just because he likes to carry a pink and purple dump truck he found somewhere. (I doubt we have much longer with the truck before he discards it out of shame.)
He’s never once received a piece of clothing, toy or book that didn’t scream “all boy!!” Everything is about bugs, dinosaurs, trucks or trains. And strangers constantly ask him if he likes those things too. He does like them but I cannot tell if it’s organic - there’s been too much reinforcement around what he should like/ how he should behave as a boy.
Before I had a child, I knew to expect this insistence on gender norms from other children. But I’ve been very surprised how pervasive it is from adults, especially in a fairly liberal community.
189
Women are the ones who bear the children. They have a special status during pregnancy. They nurse children after birth. This is biological. They have different hormones, different attention patterns, different bodily functioning. Not inferior, just different from men.
And, this is statistically true. However, there will be outliers, there is a bell curve along which individuals are located. But the generalization is a central tendency that is reliable.
Sweden is doing an experiment. Ok. But it does seem silly in some ways. Why prevent girls and boys from dividing up along traditional gender lines? Why not let them make their own choices about activities and playmates?
If societal messages about gender roles has been holding girls and boys back, then the answer is to just let them follow their own desires and true selves about what they find to be comfortable, gratifying, pleasant.
Things will sort themselves out...but men will never bear the babies or want to try. And few women will best men on battlefields, or want to try.
Biology is partly destiny....
23
“Biology is partly destiny...”
Yes, but culture is partly destiny too.
It is the cultural part this program is focusing on.
So that each child is really free to follow their natural instincts.
4
Women only bear children for a few years of their entire life. I had two children, that was technically only about two years of my life. And we have birth control. So why is the biology of childbearing supposed to determine what we do for the other 78 years?
8
Because it's biology. You don't become a woman only the day you become pregnant and you do cease being one the day after you give birth. Speak to an MD.
Yes, you can change the environment in a preschool, but you can't change the world. The children will see how men and women act and look differently everywhere they go, and they will see it in every movie and television show.
I think transsexuals can be instructive here. If a biological male identifies as female, he will want female clothes and toys. So why wouldn't a biological female who identifies as female want female clothes and toys. As hard as parents try to change their transsexual children's preferences, they can't, and I don't think a few hours of encouraging young girls to draw pictures differently is going to make much difference in the long run.
5
It's interesting that the social and ideological construct at work in these Swedish preschools views conformity as the goal and gender as the enemy. In other words, it's not just sexist, but genuinely and truly misogynistic (as well as misanthropic). It also makes me wonder: who do they imagine taught the male and female chimps their deeply gendered behaviors?
72
Culture is not unique to humans. Animals (e.g., birds, non-human primates, elephants) also learn and pass down customs and behaviors from generation to generation. But what is uniquely human is thinking and theorizing about the causes of our behavior and working to consciously improve our culture.
5
I'll allow there may be something about chimp behaviors that it's not completely ridiculous to call "culture" (although I am not aware of any diversity between chimp "cultures"). What about the ants? And the gendered flowering plants?
1
The adult chimps taught them, I'd guess.
1
As it should be. There are many such reasons why Swedish children receive a better education than American children, and why there is so little violence in Sweden.
15
By all means, teach girls that it's OK to get dirty and boys that it's OK to paint. But it's a shame that people feel the need to go to such absurd extremes as those described in the article, and point to the one case where a boy likes to wear dress as some kind of proof that it's working.
24
This comment is slanted towards boys because I am a man. I think it goes both ways.
There are real biological differences between boys and girls. Instead of denying and repressing these differences we should be celebrating and encouraging people to be who they really are. Boys need to be taught how to be men. We need models of good men. If we do not do this then the role models come from mass media and “exciting outlaws” (think rap music). Trying to convince boys to be the same as girls and trying to deny the goodness of femininity will only alienate or confuse many. Boys should know that feelings and other things assigned to women are an integral part of being a man. If the boys in the classroom are loud and restless teach them to be polite and sit quietly. That is part of being a man. Give them more PE so they can be boys. I am concerned that efforts to denigrate men will have an opposite effect of what is intended.
21
In my experience everyone who considers themselves to be a man has a different idea of what it means to be a "good man." Males and females do not have to be taught to be a good man or a good woman... all they need to be taught is to be a good human being. This obsession with gender is not healthy. It leads to toxic manhood psychology.
7
Toby. I agree that we should all be taught to be good humans. The article is about trying to change biological differences and trying to make males and females fit into the same mold. My point is that we need to recognize the differences between boys and girls and not try to change nature. Girls should be confident and be proud of femininity. Boys should be confident and proud of masculinity. Those are not bad words but are an important part of who we are. It has nothing to do with intelligence or competence (although some interesting differences in male and female brains have been found). We need to examine ourselves and not deny who we are.
Obsession with gender? That seems to be the focus of this Swedish school.
Gender neutrality by offering varied activities seems easy enough to achieve when gender is a biological non-factor in many ways like it is for boys and girls at this age. Just offer an opposing view to whatever the mainstream view is; that's all these little kids will be able to base their assumptions on and one fairly reasonable view is as credible as another.
When puberty kicks in it's a whole different story. Guys start trying to impress girls by doing manly (i.e. often stupid and risky) things and girls start to want to look "sexy" (or feel the peer pressure to do so especially from other girls) and perhaps play down their intelligence. It's the dividing point where girls and guys go their separate way in a lot cases.
I think the best way to achieve equality is by showing that girls can participate in the workforce without giving up their own uniquely feminine qualities that they really come into as they mature. Enjoy makeup AND coding. Have long, nice hair AND like math. Like talking about dresses and fashion while also having an interest in space and technology.
I think people get the idea that makeup, looking nice, dressing well are burdens society imposes. I don't think that's the case but if it is these are things that most girls I've known actually enjoy.
The article a few days back about a model having a camp or a program for girls wanting to code seemed like a brilliant step in the right direction for me.
5
Isn't being human an attempt to escape, or at least control, nature?
Does this--will this--carry over when they apply to enter Uppsala?I It would be interesting to know.
YEA! I want this for all children. Thank you, Sweden.
8
Hmmmm - 82% of primary school teachers in Sweden are female - maybe they should start there.
35
Hasn't Sweden learned enough about disastrous social engineering projects with the unmitigated mess of their immigration policies? Now they want to change evolutionary development...Leave the kids alone!
16
I completely agree with your point about denying nature, hormones, gender roles etc but your crack about 'the unmitigated mess of their immigration policies?' has nothing to do with that other point.
The problem with refugees needs to be solved by NOT creating refugees in the first place, which means less nations wrecked by aggressive 'nation building' (read destruction) of their home nations usually in the ME or Africa (as ever, see since Lawrence of Arabia and Sykes Picott). What you are calling for is the ignoring of basic human rights and is indeed a recipe for more African's dying on the shores of Libya or dying in Syria, Yemen etc.
Social engineering has nothing to do with this, unlike this extremist feminism, but your racism, because that what ignoring the HUMAN rights (see UN rules created by the WEST post WW II) of non whites is.
There is a problem of integrating large numbers of kids damaged by the horrors of wars but the solution is to STOP THE WARS!
2
No matter what we do in life, we can only get so far away from our morphology-genetic-endocrine-based identity. Gender-based privileges are entirely societal constructs, and we should continually rethink them. As all transgender people could attest, or gender-based behavior is largely ingrained in our biological self. Behavior modification can only go so far and pushing that too hard can destructive. What will people do with boys that can't become more gender neutral? Neuter them?
5
I grew up under the tutelage of an angry feminist mother, so much of this seems familiar. But I was so feminine. And what happened was that I felt rejected for who I was. My entire teens I was told to stop speaking in such a “girlish” voice (amongst other modifications) — by teachers and relatives. I felt like adults were trying to rip my very selfhood away from me, so I rebelled.
The funny thing is that being feminine has mostly stood me in good stead in my life. People like agreeable and pretty women — many times it clears a path for you. My sister became far more aggressive and less interested in appearance, and interestingly enough I think it has made her life harder. Ironically she feels she has been frequently bullied and sexually harassed (which I have not).
We all want to be accepted for who we are. We also all need to survive our world. Femininity touches on both these issues. My daughter still speaks with rage over how she was not allowed to play house in kindergarten. We are what we are. My son is actually a lot like me and loves art and friendships with girls and talking. Why is he suddenly more acceptable today than my daughter?
I also compliment my kids all the time on the way they look. It’s a high card that they’ve drawn in life. They have had school and health problems but they’ve always been so beautiful that they turn heads. This can be a strength in life, equal to other innate abilities. Why should I not be truthful with them?
21
" Sweden’s government-funded preschools are doing what they can to deconstruct them. State curriculum urges teachers and principals to embrace their role as social engineers, requiring them to “counteract traditional gender roles and gender patterns.”
This is deeply disturbing and akin to the indoctrination in the Soviet Union government controlled schools. As a parent I would not let my child anywhere near these schools and the "social engineers" dressed in teachers clothing.
19
Kudos to these teachers for their bravery and kudos to Sweden for fostering an environment that allows such a thing to happen. So hard to imagine in the US, but maybe someday.
Other commenters seem to take for granted a priori that children are biologically wired into gender concepts, presumably because it looks and feels so natural when watching children. One real shocker for me was to go through old NYT articles and see how clearly established it was in NY a hundred years ago that pink was for boys and blue for girls. Likely these teachers in Sweden will teach us all a few things about which traits, if any, truly are hardwired.
Not sure why there is so much fear here of brainwashing or experimenting on children. As the article mentions, all education and parenting is brainwashing to begin with, and this is a great step in examining some of that. Experiments in education at all levels have long been a tradition in America—Montessori, Waldorf, liberal arts colleges—not sure why this particular one freaks so many out. People forget how adaptable children are. It is no foregone conclusion that a boy that is allowed to wear a dress at the age of three will be tortured and tormented through their childhood—they may just as easily be more confident and assertive by not having to suppress their own preferences at such an early age and being given the freedom to suppress/express their preferences to adapt to social norms as a matter of choice instead.
12
There is much I have admired about Sweden over my life. I used to drive a Volvo (when it was still a Swedish car!). I own a Viking sewing machine. I have a kitchen island/cart from Ikea. I really like that young Swedish children actually play outside in the winter and are not magnolia blossoms such as we have in the US.
But I don't like that their children can spend 12 hrs daily in daycare from age 1 (do they ever bond with anyone?) and this gender neutral stuff...well, it's plain nonsense.
Males and females ARE different! Even very young children will be attracted to particular toys, for the most part. A few will choose toys typically preferred by the opposite sex, and that's just fine. But I don't see sexual ambiguity being a benefit to ANYONE in the world today. We're having a hard enough time dealing with our own sex, and it's certainly far easier for a child to know which sex that is.
In the end, I think they are going to discover that females are far more malleable than males - they will adapt to what is expected of them. Thus, in such situation, they will just become more aggressive females.
Thank you, but no. Leave the social engineering in Sweden and lets just teach civilized behavior, learning colors and letter of the alphabet in the US pre-schools.
17
in swedenmothers are guaranteed a year off for maternity leave before day care starts. think about that
3
This is just absurd, political correctness run amok.
Stereotyping is one thing, but undoing millions of years of evolution is quite another.
Men and women are not the same in our species any more than they are in others.
Rather than trying to defeat genetics, we should recognize that there is a great deal of overlap between individual men and women and that people should not be shoved into stereotyped categories of gender behavior, whether traditional male and female roles or some kind of fantasy behavior in which gender differences are effaced.
19
Men and women are not physiologically identical; however, there is no rational reason for treating men and women differently solely because of gender. Overcoming the ingrained stereotypes of women as passive, frail, soft, etc. is just a start. People need to be treated as equals and encouraged to explore all realms of human behavior without fear of ostracism or negative criticism based on gender stereotypes. Boys should be able to love the color pink; girls should be able to choose to be jocks. If equality is a fantasy, count me in, or have you missed the whole of the last few decades?
9
E, you've rather missed the whole point of my post.
I did after all write "we should recognize that there is a great deal of overlap between individual men and women and that people should not be shoved into stereotyped categories of gender behavior."
Is it really too much to ask that people read what I said before criticizing it?
4
all true and well said. but imposing behaviour -like running in the snow without shoes is bonkers.
1
I remember when I was four my kindergarten teacher trying to make me write with my right hand. Even at that age, somewhere deep down I knew she was well outside her prerogative for doing that. The three 'R's, and playtime. Everything else, leave them kids alone.
25
I'm left-handed and fortunately no one ever tried to make me right-handed. Bur I never understood why it was tjat just because I was agirl I had to dress in stupid, ugly, uncomfortable girls' shoes and dresses. Boys' clothes made so much more sense!
6
I was telling a young Girl Scout selling cookies how much more sense her outfit made than mine same age--even her Mother was horrified at the white gloves we had with our GS uniforms--and had to wear shorts under dress to play on monkey bars at school.
Since it was late 60s, 70s we kept shortening our dresses and I even recall having them measured, with us in them!
--Both handed, a pain
1
I applaud this school's treatment of children. If it is "indoctrination," all I can say is that such is a necessary balance to parents' indoctrination in some cases.
When I was about 8 years old, the woman next door had a baby that I and mother adored because he was so sweet and loving. But his interests in toys were markedly feminine. In fact, he liked toys less than his mother's discarded mops, which he held upside down and carried around. He referred to them as his "girls."
I cannot tell you how heartbreaking it was to watch his father insist that he try to play baseball in their backyard. He would put down his "girls" and try, but he always got upset when the ball came his way; he would drop the bat and run away.
It was quite clear what the father was thinking. And although he tried his best to change his youngest son, the changes were nonexistent other than the trauma he inflicted.
Fast-forward 12 years or so. By then the neighbors had moved into a larger house, and I had moved out of state. I encountered the little boy, no longer little, because he worked in a shop that I visited on a trip home. He was a good-looking kid and a huge flirt. He seemed to be well suited for sales because he liked women and understood them. He later married (yes, a woman), had three children, and is now growing old with his wife. And I have it on good authority that they reared their children to become the best people they could be--and without stereotyping them in childhood.
27
"I cannot tell you how heartbreaking it was to watch his father insist that he try to play baseball in their backyard."
But it doesn't break your heart to see kids who like to run around outside, be forced to cook and dance?
Again, it's one thing to say "people should be able to do what they want". It's another to say "people should do what I want". Gender theorists seem to get around this by saying that people are being told that by the dominant culture and that they're just resisting it, but actual proof of this is pretty scarce. I mean, what are we given as proof in this article - one kid wears a dress, one kid learns how to say "no"? But the vast majority of boys still seem to want to do what boys do and have to be coaxed and cajoled out of that, and then when they grow up they all act stereotypical. And that's from this article itself! Even the best case for why this is a good and necessary thing, basically ends up admitting that actually the impact is limited...which means the theory itself is probably false, or at least there's no reason to believe it's true. Leave the kids alone!
4
Sorry, John, but my example had nothing to do with your agenda in this comments section. The kid I knew was who he was, and he seemed to come out of the womb that way. He was not one of the "vast majority of boys," but he certainly endured a lot of pressure to become just like them. You seem to want to see all comments in terms of a framework for "gender theory." They aren't.
I'm not in favor of "indoctrination," but our social world is such that it's hard to avoid it, isn't it? So yes, I think it's good that people explore possibilities that aren't gender bound. My brother and I had little exposure to such when we were kids, but he still learned how to cook, and I still learned how to use a chain saw. But both would have happened a heck of a lot earlier had we not been constrained by rigid ideas of what's appropriate for boys and for girls.
Leave the kids alone, you say. Yes, let's do. But let's give them options, and let's do it without imposing stereotypes of what "the vast majority" of children with similar genitalia do.
1
We are all products of our environment. It takes a really special individual to go against that grain and become independent of the conformity all around them,
Scandinavian countries ( in general ) are creating ( for a better word ) individuals that are tested from a young age to be diverse in all things. They learn cooperating skills and to explore what it means to be not scared to try. The statistics that continually show their dominance in reading, happiness and community make me think that many of the comments here are but tinged with too much protestations.
I say this first hand, because my children have gone and are going through the school system and they are a joy of independence. I can't help but think that any one of them is capable of ruling the world.
If they so choose, which is what the whole thing is about - making them ready for a world and a culture ( many ) that tut tut anything that is not the ''norm''
16
I run a preschool for children aged 2-3. We aren't fanatical about erasing gender stereotypes among the children, we simply let them do their own thing during open play as long as they're being safe, caring members of the community. That means that boys put on tutus in the dress up area and girls play aggressively with cars. In my experience children will gravitate to things on their own, or not, but I hardly see the point in making children play with toys they don't like or telling them to scream "no!" We teach children to tell their friends what they want without screaming. That goes for both the girls and boys. And we call each other "friends" not to avoid a gendered pronoun, but because we're trying to build a classroom community. All of these things that are described here sound like they will create different hang ups among the children, and make it difficult for those who are trying to bring equality to classrooms to be taken seriously.
52
Readers: What is perceived as nature, biology, and DNA IS changeable. Our genes interact with our environment. The lives we lead, and the experiences we have are extremely important to how we will become.
14
Although I am not a biologist, I think I can say with a reasonable degree of certainty that neither I nor any man in the history of the world has interacted with our environment and 'changeably' become a female.
3
"...the scientists found no difference at all in the children’s’ tendency to notice gender, suggesting that may be under a genetic influence".
But girls and boys of this age only differ outwardly by appearance (clothes, hair) and that is cultural. So, maybe the tendency is for the kids to categorise by the differences they see.
7
I can understand why this sounds a little ridiculous to many but I believe that the underlying instinct is a good one. I got to observe my son as he attended a truly amazing preschool. The teachers did a lot of the same things. The difference is that they didn't focus on the concept of gender. They helped the shy kids to assert themselves and taught the overly aggressive children to express themselves in other ways. Yes, a lot of these traits cut down gender lines but never cleanly.
What those teachers were really teaching is how to be part of a productive group of people. If you value the prospect of healthy communities that aren't based on rigid hierarchy, as I know many do in Sweden, than these are important lessons to teach early and often. Luckily, this can be done without focusing on gender.
66
Aren't we fortunate that there ARE excellent learning communities for our youth in various locations around the U.S.? The ability to function productively within (a) community is a tremendous skill, and it is one that all the advocates of testing, common core, etc. have ignored completely. To my mind, this is one of the major failings in education today, for while students are being crammed with facts, they are being left without the functional skills needed to succeed in a world of people dealing with people.
and the teachers, who are models for children, were mostly if not all female.
I think what many commentators fail to recognize is that society— largely the media but also parents — is constantly indoctrinating our children with stereotypical gender roles. From a very young age, children are bombarded with messages that girls and boys “do” or “don’t do” one thing or another. It is sad and scary to see preschool girls (as young as the age of two) wearing high heels, halter tops, mini skirts and dresses, and bikini swim suits. Why should girls be called tomboys (by girls, boys and adults) because they wear comfortable clothes and like to run around and play with boys? I, for one, am glad to hear that Sweden is trying to counteract societal messages that have been holding back girls and boys.
166
In that ssme vein why should boys be called "sissies" just because they don't conform to male gender expectations? The shame and effect on boys self esteem can last a lifetime.
8
The reason all those messages exist is because innate psychological and physical differences exist. It is not indoctrination.
All animals have innate gender differences. I guess they all got the wrong messages, too, eh?
Gimme a break.
I doubt that anyone reading this hasn't noticed that traditional gender roles are reinforced by society. The interesting part is that the writer of this comment doesn’t realize this. It mimics the “saving us from ourselves” mantra of so many these days.
It is interesting to read this and reflect on my memories of childhood and what behaviors were encouraged at home for me and my siblings, and at school. Seeing a full gamut of "appropriate" ways of being in the world, kids will find their preferred ways. I would love to have the US consider the value of "gender neutral" educational spaces more widely than we do now. If I were to be concerned with anything in the classrooms described in this article, it would be that there will inevitably be tension caused by societal values that continue to be reflected in rigid role expectations which also include behavioral norms of girls not being mouthy and boys not wearing dresses But this may be a healthier tension than that routinely experienced by children of color who negotiate a bigoted world outside their families, and girls who are sexually harassed and assaulted and objectified.
23
Well, that didn't take long. Race is once again needlessly injected into the conversation.
2
For people who were wondering what the U.S. would have been if Hillary had been elected, just look at Sweden. We'll know what these kids are like in 20 years.
24
That's unfair and I think sexist. Hillary Clinton never suggested doing anything of this kind.
3
Probably they won't be invading schools and murdering children with assault rifles, at least.
11
The scary spectre of a Hillary presidency pales in comparison to what we are already observing with "The worst president ever". In other words it couldn't possibly be worse. Therefore predicting that we would have turned into Sweden has no scare value. (It's also ridiculous Breitbartian paranoia)
12
What could ten million years of mother nature know anyway? The hubris of humans never ceases to amaze.
78
Intolerant indoctrination of young children is the wave of the future ?
Biology is Biology and no amount of behaviour modification is going to
change that.
70
Please educate yourself! Biology NEITHER determines which gender likes pink NOR what they like to do!. We are socialized to do this. Children who are conforming to gender-normative roles are rewarded aka. praised, whereas those who don't are chided and strongly encouraged to change their behavior. Another example would be, why do most young women in the U.S. have long hair? Men grow hair on their head just like women do, we just make it our social norm that they need to keep their hair short.
7
Intolerant indoctrination or freedom from stereotypes? We
don't have to believe there are no differences to believe that culture has grossly exaggerated them.
6
There is nothing "biological" about wearing tiaras and dresses and overalls, or cooking.
8
I understand the motives here, but I am not fully in agreement. We are once again faced with the age-old dilemma of nurture vs nature. We can indeed tweak the nurture side, of course. But nature is nature, inherent, etched in one's DNA. There is a reason why the female is born with more estrogen, the male with more testosterone. No one can or should change that reality of nature.
Finally, I had the instinctive feeling that these preschools were trying too hard and perhaps crossing a behavioral and developmental line. Yes, we can encourage boys and girls to play and communicate with each other. If we remember, they do that naturally when young. And, yes, we should teach them respect for each other's uniqueness. But is it our place to forcefully change their innate identities? I think not.
62
And it doesn't seem to work, as many parents who tried to raise their kids in gender-neutral ways will tell you. Instinct is a powerful thing.
5
This is true for the most part. However, nature itself is variable as we have seen. DNA makes "mistakes" from the norm. There are lots of sex organ oddities that show up, for example, as well as genetic mistakes that have serious metabolic consequences. I do agree that nurturing only gets one so far against the thrust of natures forces.
When I was in grad. school, one of my absolute favorite feminist instructors would often talk about how having her own children had been one of the biggest challenges to her dogma: nurture-trumps-nature! Boys should be encouraged to play with dolls and girls with toy trucks. Much to her chagrin, her boy popped the heads off of the dolls, then pointed their torsos like rifles and yelled, "Bang, bang, you're dead!" Her girl fastened ribbons to the plastic trucks and loaded them up with Barbies. Changed her feminism forever: equal rights, yes. Sameness, no.
3
- Sandberg seems unaware of the hypocracy of promoting a genderless environnment when all the teachers are female. the kids see this and develop the very assumptions regarding gender that Sandberg and her ilk decry.
- "Many found that they used more words, and more complex sentences, with girls." yet only report being shocked when they dress a boy and not a girl.
this also speaks to the differences in physical development between males and females that are not addressed in classrooms, leaving males at disadvantage.
- Ms. Sandberg's bias that being loud and cheeky was a male trait is uninformed, simplistic, and ignores individual differences. primary school teachers are not trained or qualified for make such radical behavioral changes.
- i think its quite possible that this social engineering may trigger genes that directly or indirectly lead to lower birth rates when the kids grow up, but Psych prof Jordan Peterson found that "in the countries where the most has been done to equalize the playing field between men and women, they get more different rather than more the same."
- i would hope that the long term effects of these interventions are considered more carefully before being implemented
30
Attempting to promote "equality" is interesting but this kind of academic silliness ignores eons of biology and sociology, as well as reality. The real world is far larger than the little playground and school.
All they are doing, of course, is substituting their biases and views for those of the family and their own communal society.
No one is going to change the millennially adamantine biologic and cultural truism that "boys will be boys, and girls will be girls".
My bet is there will be a lot of very confused kids in a few years, and I feel sorry for them and their families.
56
Bob--With small children, you start with the SMALL stuff, and work your way up to the complicated. The children will not be confused, but you seem to be. Ridiculous comment, I'm sorry to say.
10
I just feel sad for the little kids who are being told that what they like, how they prefer to express themselves, doesn’t matter — they need to be someone else. Awful.
81
I envy these kids! Even if they conform to societal and corporate pressures later, they've been exposed to something diiferent.
4
And they will still tell the girls to stop being so bossy.
2
I do not think anyone is being told what to like or dislike. Kids are merely being encouraged to explore things they might not otherwise think of on their own - the fact that boys have eyelashes, too, for example, or that boys may like cooking and kitchens (they can be really fun places, after all). I see no problem with encouraging children to think and to try new things, especially if it gets kids to re-think suppositions based on stereotypes. If a kid believes that pink is for girls and blue is for boys, I think they should be challenged to explain why they think that is so. There is no reason for such a rule; the declaration recites an outmoded custom that has no purpose whatsoever. That's not awful; it's liberating, especially if you are a girl who loves blue or a boy who loves pink!
5
Bravo! I’ve no doubt these Swedish pioneers will have wiped out 4.6 billion years of evolutionary biology by next Thursday.
108
"Boys massaged each other’s feet. Girls were led in barefoot walks in the snow, and told to throw open the window and scream."
"...she often catches herself saying the wrong thing, like an offhand compliment on a child’s appearance."
I thought I was a liberal, but this is cringeworthy Breitbart fodder. What happens to the boys who don't participate in the foot massages or the girls who refuse to scream? This model certainly doesn't feel like the opposite of imposed conformity.
148
Seems likely that a bunch of these kids will be in therapy later in life
5
I’m as far left as they come and I think this is ridiculous and dangerous. Why try to make everyone the same? Instead, why not teach respect for differences?
158
At least the kids are spending plenty of time playing outside, in the snow. Hopefully, this positive experience will counteract the extensive brainwashing that they are receiving from the well-meaning but overly zealous adults.
43
It’s going to take a lot more than preschool activities to address gender disparities and norms in the US. This kind of program would be cruel in the US considering what will happen to these kids after preschool.
16
I feel like this approach is based on a misunderstanding of what "equality" is - or at least, a reading of that word that doesn't make sense. One doesn't have to throw out all differences to treat men and women as equally worthy of respect. You don't have to try to work against natural impulses to avoid pigeonholing people into stereotypes. I think it's well-intentioned but ultimately a futile attempt to undo what nature has already given us - specializations geared broadly towards making sure humanity has both competitive and cooperative interests in good measure.
If they want to engage in social engineering, I suggest they focus on working against the idea that "different" means "inferior", or that women *must* do what men do. Instead, why not simply value what (many) women do more highly, while making sure no man or woman feels badly for choosing not to be in a traditional role.
165
Thank you Joshua. A completely reasonable comment, especially the last paragraph.
5
This misses the point. There's nothing inherently more "natural" about the social conditioning the kids are absorbing from the rest of society that steer them into different sets of behavioral norms based on whether they are boys or girls. These schools are trying to mitigate that.
If by "natural" you literally mean that different behavior norms for males and females it resembles the way things were "in nature" eons ago, then you should likewise be outraged by such things as processed food, written legal codes, racial equality, and the microchip. All of those are thoroughly unnatural in the same sense.
Most of us don't mind those things, though, because the reality is that humanity is distinguished from other animal life precisely because of its capacity for innovation, self-reflection, and shaping the world around it.
So if you want to advocate that girls should behave differently from boys, go ahead, but don't mask it in some lazy appeal to "nature."
5
I think you have missed the entire point. They are not attempting to "undo" what nature has given. They are attempting to avoid "doing" what is a social construct about gender. The subconscious choices parents and society make about children are not "natural." What they are doing is allowing children to develop naturally by limiting the external forces that force gender identity into pre-determined boundaries.
5
I wish them luck but some things are innate. I was a tomboy but am Mom to a girl who likes all things girly. Despite my gender neutral attempts at raising both my son and and daughter, their preferences and temperament were declaring themselves well before preschool. If you want to effect change, then address the societal labels we give to strong girls and and sensitive boys. Ban the word bossy in preschool. It hurts strong girls. It's ok for boys to have feelings and cry. They are not sissies. You can't change what is innate to a child, but we can change our words and attitudes towards behaviors that don't fit comfortably into our gender stereotypes.
142
Agree, except that it isn't OK for boys to express feelings (they have them, of course) and cry -- they'll be bullied by other boys if they do.
1
Those who cry - regardless of gender - will only be bullied by mean boys, or mean girls. We can hope that teachers will explain that crying because one is unhappy is not weakness, and bullying is not acceptable.
3
Agreed with everything you said with the exception of banning the word bossy. It's a legitimate adjective to describe someone who hasn't mastered the art of leadership in a non-obnoxious way. If a kid (boy or girl) is bossy, they need to be called out on it with helpful guidance on how to more effectively lead or get buy-in from their friends and classmates.