A Place of Healing

It's a fact that positive things come from suffering. Godspeed.

Meadow, I knew you years ago when you were a reporter at the Times Record and I was at the Press Herald. I have nothing but admiration for how you've come through the other side of this tragedy, if there truly is another side. I also have a daughter with disabilities. She is nearly 22 years old, and has a rare genetic disorder called Dup15q. Another girl in her small community died in her sleep at the age of 18 last week. I go to sleep each night dreading leaving my daughter alone in her room, and I wake up each morning dreading what I will find there. We have no choice but to treat each new day as a gift. Thank you for sharing your story.

Thank you for sharing this beautiful essay on loss and revival. I also find great solace, courage, and beauty in tending to my garden in Los Angeles.

SO profoundly sorry about your sweet girl. There is a beautiful farm just for traumatic grief run by the MISS Foundation and the vision of Dr Joanne Cacciatore called the Selah House Carefarm. This concept has helped support and connect so many grieving families, parents, and they rescue severely abused animals. So powerful. Google it and you can watch the video.

Thank you.

Through your loss You found your Self~

Thank you for this lovely hopeful story. I am so glad you have begun to heal.

My folks purchased a tiny farm after they married because they thought that was the best place to raise kids. Tragically, she lost her first two babies. Her mother had died when she was 11 and had no sisters or aunts to turn to for support. She thought her broken heart would never heal, but also realized that the farm and the animals needed daily tending to. So, every day, all day, she was outside, feeding and tending to the cows, chickens, pigs, and assorted barn cats. She also started a garden. In summer and fall, she made jam and canned pickles and beets. Eventually she gave birth to a healthy third baby who grew quickly and fully like the weeds in her garden. My mother said being outside in the fresh air, working the land, caring for the cattle and other animals lessened her grief and pain. The daily physical activity made her tired, but a healthy and fulfilled tired. She was able to sleep and rest soundly. She didn’t have time to feel sorry for herself or lament the deaths of her first two babies. She always said to never underestimate the value of a long walk in the fresh air. To this day, whenever I feel overwhelmed or sad, I go for long walks or long bike rides to clear my head and sooth my soul. I too tend to sleep more soundly and peacefully after being outdoors. I miss our farm, truly miss my mother (even after 40 years), and miss the farm and the garden, smelling that sweet, rich earth, and feeling the cool, damp ground between my fingers.

Thank you for sharing. There may be times when it seems filled with sorrow, but there is also love in the world.

I am so glad working on the farm has done this for you. I admit that I am still looking in my life for what will have the same effect for me. I have undertaken yard work and other physical work, a departure from life centered firmly in matters of the head. I have drawn pots from a ball of clay, have volunteered, and have written. There are things I do that take me away from pain for the moment but I have not found yet a path that is therapeutic beyond the moment. It is a blessing to have found yours.

This makes me want to move to Maine and have a garden! Thanks for a moving and inspiring story!

Maine is a special place. Thank you for sharing.

Someone once said that it is impossible to be a gardener and not be an optimist. I have found that to be true. Sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing.

Thank you so much for sharing your story! I was very emotional.

This beautiful story reminds me of author Ben Logan's very interesting and ultimately poignant memoir "The Land Remembers" about his teen years on a farm in the Kickapoo valley in southwestern Wisconsin.

But have you really convinced yourself of this? Or does that depend on convincing others of it?

I deeply appreciate this beautifully rendered piece about your grief and your healing on the farm. I will be sharing it with clients who have also lost a child, so know that your words will be traveling far and helping many.

"But as I looked at the rows of vegetables and vines bursting with life around me, I knew the answer to grief was not in locking myself away but in opening myself to whatever came next. If a tiny seed could grow strong by reaching toward the light, maybe I could too." I'm so grateful that you chose to share your journey with us. Thank you and blessings as you continue to heal from this tragic loss.