If You Don’t Have Children, What Do You Leave Behind?

My advice on this matter is to start giving away personal possessions before age 75. If a niece or nephew has an interest in your possessions or is acquiring an apartment or new home help them out. For those without relatives or who choose not to give to relatives find a charity you admire as there are many. As a traveler I will leave a good part of my estate to Doctors Without Borders along with St. Jude's Children's Hospital. If you are childless enjoy your life and do not work until 70. There is a lot more to life than work.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I am mother of two adolescents, the oldest (21) diagnosed with Autism, because of his diagnose I decided to provide educational and emotional support and guidance to families whit children with Developmental disorders. In the las 2 years I have been supporting with workshops an organization named Iluminemos de Azul, what they do is help low income families to find the best way for their children to obtain therapies and medical services for their children with autism. During this 2 years I have found hundreds of families who's income are so low, that they have to choose between paying their rents and services or providing speech, occupational or behavioral therapy to their very severe children with the disorder. I live in the USA and my children too, I feel bless to have access to services for my son Eric however, that is not the same case in Mexico and in many other countries in Latin America, where only people who can afford to pay for therapies and medical services can have a chance to improve however, what happen to the rest? People with not enough income have the right to help their children? is it their fault to have children with a disability and not to have the money to leave will and a trust fund to secure their future...?

An article accompanying this one asks if people plan to leave their children an inheritance. People have strong feelings about the benefits or downsides of leaving their kids money. I'm a SINK (non-parent!), and will leave my remaining assets primarily to my nieces. In my family, the non-parents leave money to the children of the parents. It's a way to help. If I did not have them, I would probably focus on the children of friends--especially single parent friends or those in more difficult financial circumstances. I joke that it now takes three earning adults to support a family. But I'm also trying to be involved in their lives (they are still very young). I do believe that young people need someone who is not their parent to take an interest in them and believe in them. It could be a coach, a pastor, a teacher, or the parent of a friend (as it was for me). It could be a neighbor who shows them a different way to live (also for me). Even if you do not have relatives living near you (or relatives at all), you still impact the lives of others. These opportunities will find you, even you keep your eyes open for them. They might not come in the form in which you expect.

With income inequality as stark as it is these days, we know that for each commenter who is wondering who and what to give to, there are so many families and kids for whom $15,000, or $50,000 or $100,000 would make a world of difference: in-state tuition; down payment on a home; a new roof or car; extra help caring for a disabled relative. In many cases, direct gifts are the best charity. If you don’t have beneficiaries, ask at your local church or school about families, or individuals, in need for whom a little help would go a long way. After scholarships near home, or whatever moves you as worthy, remember the even starker economies of this world - on your list of charities, the dollars sent to the poorest parts of the world may help the most people in the most life altering ways.

I have three children. But I am always struck by the need children and young adults have for people who are NOT their parents to advise them, take an interest in their dreams and plan, validate them. These relationships can be especially meaningful as they are free of the weight of family expectations. Providing the means for younger people to pursue their dreams, or to organizations that help them do so, is an extraordinary way to be remembered.

You shouldn’t be having children for your legacy. If you want to have a legacy, do something, anything, to change someone’s life in a positive way. No matter how small the act is, you will be remembered.

I'm divorced, childless, and live alone with a 7 figure estate so am starting scholarships at 2 of my alma maters, leaving money to Planned Parenthood as I'm pro choice, and gifting to several other nonprofits including my local church, it's school, and my local animal shelter. But it is a concern as to where the leftover money and other assets will go even though I have a will.

My husband & I are non parents, my brother never married or had children. He had a good job & head for investment. I found this out after he ended up in assisted living, & I (little sister) became his financial & physical guardian. He has very good health insurance & long term care. So chances are, when he passes (oh God not soon, but, oh God before my husband’s health kills him), my husband will finally be able to retire. I’m disabled. We’ve talked about what to do with any money left over when the second one of us dies. We both belong to an organization that always can use money, but, has very stringent rules for accepting it. Only so much per year, only so much in a bequest. So, we are thinking, when the time comes to making two trusts. One for the early donations (hopefully in perpetuity), one for bequests. From each of us. Which will double the amounts. There may be nothing. But, if there is we’d like to see it go to an organization that saved us both. 28 years now. Things? What will I care about things after I die? We have a very large collection of teddy bears. After we die, I expect their souls to join us wherever we are. For all stuffies have souls in my world. I think I will donate their bodies to Good Bears of the World who donate bears to police, fire, nursing homes, after disasters, to those who need some constant love. And never tell any secrets. Other than that, I won’t know, so I don’t care.

Interesting, thoughtful article. For my fellow travelers (SINK, DINK, estranged from family, etc)- please do not believe, or plan "around" dying in your sleep without having endured some period of "disability". And do not underestimate what the expense of long(er)term care will be. We're on year 8 of full time, live in care for my Mother, and that's with significant family involvement on a daily basis. Bottom line- there's nothing that will be left to "give out".

Writers need to name a literary executor, also. Young people need something to read, you can always help them that way. Even print books are making a comeback (some say they never left).

It is interesting to assume that legacy means money and the author’s egocentrism about how to be remembered. I do not have children, siblings nor money. I live paycheck to paycheck and do not expect to have anything of monetary value to leave behind at all. Nor do I expect that in generations after my death will anyone remember me. But I do know my legacy is sealed by my behavior as a person and my striving not to have anything left when I take my last breath. “The root of suffering is attachment” - Buddha

Humans are among only 18 known species that are nearly identical genetically. We are 99.9% genetically identical, one from another, and this explains our tremendous altruism. Only one other mammal has our genetic identity: the blind mole rat. The other 16 species are all social insects. Bzzzzzzzz!

We do not have children. The only thing that worries me is becoming ill and/or senile. I love my books, photographs, jewelry (not expensive), and art (not expensive). I have a nieces and nephews (and they have children), but from my experience, it is usually women that care about the items of those left behind. I have my father's and paternal grandmother's photographs and other items. My brothers were not interested in any of the photographs, old jazz albums, and other items, though someone was interested in my paternal grandmother's fur coat. My plan is to never get sick, stay strong and healthy, and quietly go in my sleep when I'm in my late 90s, after a good meal and a strong martini. I try not to think about how most of "my stuff" will end of in the trash because no one will really care.

We do not have kids, and frankly I do not care whether I am remembered by others after I am deceased. What matters is the quality of life I have and share with others while we are alive and cogent. We have opened a small investment fund for a niece graduating from college. We were donors to many charities and cultural groups during past decade of our highest income. We need enough resources to have hired help and senior assisted living take care of us when we become feeble. So we are careful with savings and long term care insurance for my husband. We made certain our house is not our largest asset. A fellow who lived with us as a college student will be executor of our estate, and he is one of 4 beneficiaries, too.

I'm childless, and I don't care who gets my money or possessions after I'm gone. I'm nearing the end of a career as a public school teacher, and while I don't care if students remember my name or anything about me, I hope they've taken away some academic and life lessons -- take off your hat inside, no swearing -- even if they don't remember exactly where they learned them. It's about them, not me.

Good article. After my parents passed away two years ago I created two endowments, one with my alma mater and another with a local charity clearing house. Both provide annual scholarships for high school students pursuing post high school education. So far this has been a rewarding experience. I was fortunate in that I did not have financial concerns in pursuing an education up to the graduate level. Why not help students with financial need? Neither of my parents were charity oriented but I created these endowments to honor them; hopefully they would be happy to know my memory of them will live on in perpetuity and do some young people some good.

Nonparent? Just call me a human being.

I have been thinking quietly to myself and discussing out loud to my husband the same questions. What will I leave behind and who will take care of me when I get old? In terms of what will be left behind, it won't be a lot of stuff. Nothing really to pass on. In regards to who takes care of me when I'm old, I have no clue. I have some fears about this as I don't want to end up in a nursing home. I don't have any nephews or nieces now and don't foresee my only brother of having any kids. Husband's sister also doesn't have kids. Even with my secret free of no one being able to take care of me when I get old, I am so happy being a nonparent and would not change it for the world.

There is no better legacy than leaving money to charities you love and admire. I'm an unmarried non-parent with no nieces or nephews. All my money will be left to smaller animal rescues, hopefully they will be able to rescue animals in my name long after my death. I won't be remembered by children or grandchildren, but somehow I know the animals will feel loved and safe.

My daughter died after she graduated from college. My wife and I have 5 nieces and nephews. They’re all finished with their education and adults. We can leave our money to them, but what of the things that are priceless to us, but not necessarily to them? Our daughter created what we think is beautiful artwork, had lovely clothes and jewelry, and a library worth of books. Of course this started when my dad sold the house and down-sized after my mom died. They too had a house full of memories but by then our house was full so many of our own. We need to write a new will and like the author we’re in a quandary for which there is no elegantly simple answer.

This was an interesting article. I'm also a non-parent. Or a SINK, maybe? I think about what will happen after I'm gone, but in all honesty I have no interest in helping children. It may sound cruel to some with more traditional sensibilities. However, this piece tacitly emphasizes the heteronormative model of family and the obligations created by society's traditional family structure. For many of us, family and legacy do not include caring for children or "future generations." My contribution in those realms comes in the form of taxes, strong support for public schools and the social safety net.

Gee I have often thought about this situation. The first thing that comes to mind, is what to do with my parent's photographs. Ant suggestions?

This whole essay was good, but the part that immediately stuck with me was the bit about those without kids calling themselves "nonparents". My wife and I are also DINK's (so the article was quite relevant) and I too, am struck by the amount of media that would refer to us as either "childless" (implying that not having kids means something is missing) or "child-free" (which to me implies that kids are a noisome burden). "Nonparent" is indeed a much better way of phrasing it.

Step one: talk to the parents of the children you are thinking if leaving money to and find out what their wishes are. Money is a powerful force both for good (ex. go to college, match savings for a house) and for bad (ex. skip finding a job to stay home & slack instead of growing up and getting on with life, incentive to divorce early and keep all your inheritance rather than work out problems). Do it intelligently with the parents input and the well being of the child in mind - do what will be best for the child and not what makes you feel the best or the most generous. Otherwise, don’t give at all.