What a great article. I spent a few years in the Army in field artillery. I am now a registered nurse and I was wondering how much morphine you guys carried on you? As I am writing this I am watching 'Dead Presidents' and the medic makes a comment that he cannot give another injection to a GI that was basically disemboweled because it would kill him. So that stoked my curiosity. Thanks again for the article!!
I didn't serve in Nam. I protested the war. Still the tears come, after so many years.
By the way, no one I knew ever blamed the grunts afterwards, or ever spat on anyone.
4
The lead,"a war I now consider pointless", gets buried yet again. The real story is this: the American war against southeast Asia slaughtered millions of Asians and 10s of thousands of Americans for a cause no more elevated than profits for the weapons makers and career advancement for military officers and politicians who serve the military-industrial complex.
Mr Matos was victimized by his government's lies including the essential lie: antiwar American's were hostile to victims like Mr. Matos. Until all of us face these painful truths, the U.S. will continue it's killing of foreigners for the profit of weapons makers and career advancement for career military officers and politicians who sever the military-industrial complex.
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I saw too many good men die in Vietnam for the geopolitical egoisms of those in power at that time. Read my novel saigon,song.com. It's free of cost.
2
A meaningful wonderfully written remembrance. Mr. Matos can and does
speak with authority his view of weapons and firearms that are founded on his wartime experience as a medic in Vietnam. All Americans should read this
article.
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Many thanks for you appreciation. Share the article with as many as you can, pls.
Thanks for writing what is a tough story and recollection.
It sounds like you would agree with Jimmy Carter's statement, given as part of his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech:
“War may sometimes be a necessary evil. But no matter how necessary, it is always an evil, never a good. We will not learn to live together in peace by killing each other's children."
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Wiser words are hard to find. Thank you.
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A wiser man is hard to find.
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This is one of the most accurate recollections of the real Vietnam War that I have read since I left it in September 1968. Mr. Matos' most compelling statement for me was, "The war had taught me to despise all firearms." I share his feelings exactly and, too, have never fired a gun since. I hope Mr. Matos has found, as I have, a VA Vet Center to help him cope with his memories.
5
Ironically, I chose a career in news coverage during the next 40 years of my return from the war theater. Again, I saw killings, touchings, riots and all the entire mess of human folly. I guess my Vietnam experience helped cope with such madness in the streets. Thanks for your words.
2
AVE...
USN 1967 - 71
Viet Nam 1968
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I had the Honor of delivering our Memorial Day 2017 Keynote address for the City of Hilo Hawaii. My memories of the Battle of Soui Tre during Operation Junction City March 1967, began with an Air Assault on what was called 'Landing Zone Gold' March 19, 1967. we lost 6 helicopters and 28 men, March 20, the 105s were lifted into position, sand bags filled with dirt, and trying to calm ourselves from the landing memory just the day before. 0545, Chaos / Confusion as mortar rounds and rockets began falling in rapid succession, machine gun fire erupting everywhere, dark becoming light in the fog of smoke from explosions that were no longer singular, but more a staccato sound like machine gun fire.... Human Wave attacks one after the other, the chaos becoming more chaotic by the moment... Cannibalizing our gun crews to buttress up the infantry perimeter positions that were so spread out, over 1000 mortar and rocket rounds were fired into our perimeter, , excess powder bags igniting, 105 ammo piles on fire, rounds detonating in the piles...
I was out of ammunition, two grenades and my bayonet fixed, when the Arty Commander LTC John Vessey commandeered me to help ready a damaged gun, and we fired 4 BEE HIVE rounds that decimated their final Human Wave assault on our weakened side... LTC John Vessey save our lives that day though we lost 33 KIA and 195 WIA that morning... John Vessey went on to become Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff during Reagan's Presidency...
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Ufff! You describe a Dantesque battle scene. Glad you made it back.
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Thank you.
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Someone send this to Trump. A guy from Puerto Rico stepped up. Trump? Well, everyone knows what he did. Don't let him forget it, as he lobbies his generals for the biggest, bestest parade, with tanks and everything!
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Mr Matos--
Thank you for your moving essay.
We should bring back the draft, no deferments. Unless every citizen has skin in the game, it's too easy to let old men in Washington order troops into danger for poorly thought out fights. Quadriplegic? Heel spurs? There are tasks you can still do.
6
True, old men start wars and the young must finish them.
2
Congress members should be cleaning up the blood and gore, whether Parkland, Florida or Vietnam/Panama/Grenada/Afghanistan/Iraq, etc. etc.
Oh, and their kin are the first to go to war, followed by the kin of lobbyists....
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I agree. That should be the order of battle. It would mean much less confrontations, I guarantee you.
1
Yes, When George Bush took us to pointless wars in Iraq, Afganistan, his daughters were military age but what did they do? Well,today the ruling class has no "skin in the game" We need to bring back the draft and the military should be more representative of all our citizens who enjoy the freedom bought by the youth of our great country, lest it become a country of Oligarchs and led by the "High and Mighty" fools like today!@SmartenUp
Thank you for your honorable service Mr Matos.
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Thank you
2
I like the part where you insisted on helping the Vietcong. This is the true spirit of a brave medic.
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You are a sensitive soul. Bless you. At one time I hand fed another prisoner who was tied up and emaciated and my fellow soldiers stared at me in shock. In decent war protocols, a wounded or captured soldier deserves humane treatment.
1
Hello My Friend, great Job of sharing our experiences so many years later. Every once in a while some bad memories return sprinkled with the good ones.
I just want to share that if God had not been with the both of us on that scary day, neither one of us would be writing. After all, 25 of our brothers did not survive. The issue worth mentioning is that two NVA soldiers were hidden in a sand dune no more that 60 yards from where we had fallen, each with rifles. As I was treating your shattered legs, a buck sergeant snuck up behind them and dropped a hand grenade on them. I like to think that God intervened on our behalf, so that these two enemies refrained from killing us.
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You braved all those dangers to treat my wounds and you saved my live. You deserve all the medals the US Army should dispense on a brave soldier, a great human being and a true combat medic. One of the things that still shock me about our war experience is that you were never deservedly decorated for you actions in Tam Ky, Vietnam that October day of 1967.
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I've seen way to many wounds from an AK strike but never one from an AR15. Have to believe they may be similar. My heart goes out to the men and women who had to go in that place and put together the pieces of those young bodies before taking them out of that school. Sandy Hook was worse still. I'll leave it to your horror to picture what multiple strikes from an assault rifle round, fired at close range could do to a small child. When the next murders occur, and they will, allow people like Alex Jones, LaPierre, and members of Congress a walk through before cleaning up the mess. With a common frame of reference, maybe we can get serious...
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Amen!
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Rafael, we salute you. Thanks.
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Mr. Matos, thank you for sharing your story. It has much in common with my story. Like you, I was a Combat Medic in Vietnam, 1967. I served with 2nd Platoon, Charlie Company, 4/12, 199th, L.I.B. As such, "Welcome Home!"
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Combat medics are special people. We were too young then to understand it, but we did our duty as expected.
1
I also was a combat medic in Vietnam, 101st airborne, 1970. I was assigned to an airmobile infantry platoon for the whole time I was there. We operated in mountainous triple canopy jungle west of Hue, usually out near the Ashau valley. Like you I was responsible for the day to day health needs of my platoon, as well as for combat injuries whenever they occurred. In our situation we only had what we could carry on our backs including all of my medical supplies, and so there were no beer, no duffel bags, no vehicles, but I do know well the sights, sounds and smells of combat which you describe in your article. We all did our jobs as best we could at the time, and I am proud to have been there when my platoon buddies needed me, but I still can't tell you what it was all about, why we had to be there at all. If I had to be there, though, I'm glad it was as a combat medic.
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Thanks. The KIA rate in my company would have been twice what it was without our medics. And after them I don't know how the surgeons at 24th and 93rd Evac hospitals in Long Binh held lives in the bodies they received. But they did. I believe you guys invented modern trauma treatment. Thanks.
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When I became a wounded war casualty and hopped from recovery ward to recovery ward, I witnessed how those dedicated surgeons at the field hospitals stitched us together and made us functional again. Miracle medicine, in my book.
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It takes many years of silent sorrow and sad memories until it all sinks in, bounces out and allow our soul to understand what the unnecessary gore of war is all about. And then, we need to start all over and try to understand some more.
Thank you for sharing your story. I was moved to tears reading your account.
It is admirable that your volunteered to serve your country at a time when so many chose to avoid going to war. I salute you sir.
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Many of us "chose to avoid going to war" for very good reasons.
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I gather many of the draft dodgers had valid moral reasons A few little were plain cowards.
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Thank you for sharing. But for a year of age I would have been there. It is none the less disturbing to know what we had done to you and our current friends, the Vietnamese. Wm. S. Madison
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I was an Army physician at the 12th Evac hospital in Cu Chi during 1967. Your essay was most eloquent,and it is a moving tribute to all the medics who gave their all for their brothers in that senseless war. Thank you.
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Hey Doc, you guys who served in the Evac Hospitals never got enough credit for all the hours spent saving countless lives.
I remember being taken into surgery late in the evening, because lives were at stake, whereas my injuries were not life threatening. I was OK with that, but could not help but notice how exhausted the Xray technician was. Ahh! The anesthesiologist was the greatest.
Thank you, sir.
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Thank you, doctor for saving so many lives and making broken men workable again.
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Very much in gratitude for the many comments by NYTimes readers about my essay. I wish one could extend arms through a computer screen and give a brotherly hug to all. For those, like myself, that have experienced combat, your heartfelt words of understanding make the burden of sad memories much lighter. So many good men and women and their kin, on both sides, suffered so much throughout this conflict and all for naught, except egoistic geopolitics. I thank the NYT for giving me the opportunity to reach out to the hearts of its many good readers.
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Thank you for acknowledging that very important and necessary point of "many good men and women and their kin, on both sides, suffered so much throughout this conflict".
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Like you, I am glad the NYT published your story and like you I served as a Combat Medic in Vietnam 1967. Welcome Home!
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Glad you also survived the combat grinding machine. My gratitude to you, too for your service.
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thank you
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This essay should go into the curriculum along with the Ken Burn's Vietnam seires -- boring, riveting, mostly painful to watch, which IMO should be required viewing by member of the entire administration -- maybe once a years.. what was shocking was the LACK of communication amongst Ho Chi Min and Johnson. etc. in DC -- underlings usbverting messages.. why Donald tweets??-- and also part of the high school or is that too late-- Jr high curriculum -- 9th grade and their parents.. No more glories of war. I wonder if the Arab regimes supporting ISIS might also not benefit from seeing these.
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jr. high or high school curriculum... I refer you to All Quiet on the Western Front The teacher himself encourages the boys to enlist.
Wm.S. Madison
Good luck and thanks for sharing your story.
Perhaps some of those reading it will apply your insights to the wars we are in now.
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Thank you for serving your fellow combatants, both US and Viet Cong, in keeping with your training.
Thank you for sharing the horrors. I believe doing so not only educates us, but, like draining an abcess, helps with the pain you sustained.
Y gracias por serviendo nuestra nation que, a veces, no serve toda la gente.
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Mr. Matos, thank you for your column and for sharing your experience in Vietnam. My Grandfather was a medic in the Pacific during WWII and came home an alcoholic wreck, so I have some small understanding of the effect of the job on the human soul. Ten years ago my husband and I traveled to Vietnam to adopt a two year-old child. The destruction of the countryside during the war lead, indirectly, to the poverty of his birth parents who could not care for him. The futility of the war is not lost on us. May the good you know you did and the care that you provided to your fellow man on both sides of the conflict outweigh the terror of your memories.
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Much in appreciation for your thoughts.
Thank you. You are a hero to me.
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Extremely moving words for which I can't summon an appropriate response.
What should be a response from all, though, is a refusal from all Americans to never again permit our illustrious Congress and President to aggress against any other people or country for any other reason than legitimate self-defense of this country or other sovereign nation.
It should be difficult to wage war. And we'd be wise to demand much from our leaders before we'll send our sons and daughters, and selves, to war.
It's always those who do not fight who start the wars. There's something inherently wrong with that.
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Awesome story. All of America needs to know these tragic effects that war has on the human psyche.
And I had an uncle who was "never the same again" after WWII.
ll war is senseless. In this 21st Century, you'd think people could communicate better with those who display animosities toward them.
But that would require better leadership--No Trumpet, no Putin, no Kim, ad nauseam.....
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Correction: "All war is senseless." Sure wish the NYT could offer a second chance to edit when we see our statements highlighted in yellow, prior to publication. A simple second click, Edit now/ Publish now would help. Thank you.
2
Just a word of thank you to Mr. Matos, and to all the medics of that war, and any war. I served in the Americal Division in DaNang as a combat infantryman, and hold combat medics in the highest regard of all. You were all brave and dedicated men, so many people owe so much to you. At one time, the medic in my long-range patrol platoon was a conscientious objector - he would not carry a weapon, but said he felt morally that he had to help his fellow young Americans as best he could. A brave young man, dedicated to his beliefs and to his brothers...as you all were. Again, just...thank you.
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Welcome home Brother
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I also was raised as a conscientious objector, but struggled with that concept from early on. Who would protect my home, my family should the unthinkable strike. At times I felt like a coward, who might hide behind my defenders.
As it turned out, my brief stint as a medic allowed me to help others, whether Vietnamese or my "brothers." I survived without inflicting harm on anybody. For that I thank God. Must have been his plan all along.
2
Amen, Simon.
I very much appreciate your recounting of such harrowing times. I am also thankful honorable people such as you are able to make your stories known. Everyone needs to understand the realities of war. It is very obvious you are an individual with much integrity - again THANK YOU.
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This excellent essay is absolutely heartbreaking; heartbreaking in so many ways. Heartbreaking that this pointless war happened at all. Heartbreaking that the war remains with Mr. Matos - and so many others. But most of all, heartbreaking because after all the suffering, waist and sacrifice of so many young Americans (it's not lost on me that Mr. Matos is from Puerto Rico, an entire Island America has recently forgotten) was for nothing in our national consciousness. Nothing.
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It would be a great honor if you dragged me through the mud to save my life.
I have met a few Viet Nam medics who later went to med school on the GI bill.
I think PTSD affects everyone who was under fire and am glad I was not exposed.
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A great account--and a great reminder that tens of thousands of Puerto Ricans served while Trump, Clinton, Bush and Quayle chose not to, even if it meant lying about bone spurs.
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So many lives were saved by Corpsmen and Medics and those brave men also suffered the most when they could not save a Marine or soldier. Semper Fi.
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Doc Matos
Your experience sacrifice and service continue to resonate today with the Combat Medics in every branch of our military and modern Para-medics. Just know that thousands of people are saved and rescued every year around the world because of the hard lessons you endured in Vietnam. Your experience and immense sacrifice and those of countless other “Docs” have inspired modern medicine to develop techniques which continue to evolve. I know there is a special place in heaven for every Combat Medic and in hearts of every GI.
With respect and gratitude - Col Bob Roland, USA Ret.
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I salute you, colonel.
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...and with me. Thank you Rafael. You and yours were our angels.
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Welcome home, brother.
Medic with 1st Bn, 5th Inf (Mech), 25th Inf Div from May 1968 - May 1969
Recently retired as Professor of Emergency Medicine at major trauma center
Career started and ended taking care of young men being shot.
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I commend your incredible trajectory. You've probably lost count of the many lives your knowledge, experience and hands helped save.
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It was the Medics, the guys we all called "Doc", who were there for us whenever we got into a combat situation. My personal experience was, thankfully, very limited, even though I was an 11B, Infantry, soldier. The Docs were our lifeblood, the guys we expected to be there when the stuff hit the fan.
Thank you!
And Welcome Home, Brother.
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I hope you have had a good and rewarding life since you got out of the service.
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Thanks to the efforts of Navy Corpsmen just like you, Doc, I am alive these 50 years later. You are truly an angel.
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Nobody was braver.
1LT CE, 1969-70
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An essay that conveys the intense and horrofic nature of combat with the madness of our strategy in trying to find an acceptable political solution or "win" in the war as he hints and alludes to in his depiction of the search of the village which was often counter productive. This essay also informs the public about the nature and scope of the war as in 2 or 3 months may go by with nothing happening and then all hell breaks loose meaning the NVA has picked the time and place to engage-they almost always had the initiative in wheter to engage in combat or not about 74% of time. Finally, we appreciate the sevice that those from Puerto Rico rendered and hope the current President will read this. A lot of Puerto Ricans served in Airborne units. Medics were the unsung heroes of the war.
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Your words reach my heart. Thanks.
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as a stand-in for the medic's who cared for us during my tour - thank you! only a good medic, the stupidity of youth got me through hell.
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While you were serving your stretch in hell, Mr. Matos, I was a high school student becoming "woke", to use today's parlance. I was aware of friends' older brothers signing up or getting drafted, and watched "Uncle Walter's" nightly recap of the first war to be televised. I became a college student who attended sit-ins and teach-ins, and protested the presence of ROTC at my college.
I confess that I hurled epithets including "baby killer" at your returned comrades when I encountered them. I am much older and hopefully wiser now, and I apologize for my actions. We were all caught up in that giant display of geopolitical hubris. I agree with you and that Vietnamese bus driver, to the extent that nobody won, but I believe that everyone lost. The greatest tragedy is that nothing was learned, and we have spent the last 15 years mired in another pointless war.
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Why it is so very important to not only "volunteer," but to actively resist draft. Every soldier that did not go makes it harder to wage these carnages we call by a supposedly noble name of "war." Nothing noble there, as we have seen.
I actively counsel young men and women to NOT "join up" for the education benefits (often less than promised), the great training, with no guarantees, (if they need truck drivers and not electronic techs, there goes your training), the lifetime health benefits--we all know the shortcomings of the VA system!
Stay out, go to jail if necessary, just do not feed this war machine.
7
One of the things that bothered me the most was the generalization that we were baby killers. I recall going into villages for "sick call" and treating small children for a myriad of infections. I even showed a young mother how to wash her baby, and I was just a "kid" myself. Going into villages was almost more scary as being in combat. You never knew if the enemy was hidden among the hootches.
5
Dear Mr. Matos,
It is difficult to write this with tears in my eyes, but your article was extremely moving and so close to what my brother experienced when he too was a combat medic in the First Cav during the Vietnam war.
I think your closing sentence, "A war that remains with me" sums up so much of what my brother has been struggling with from the time he was in Nam (1967 - 1969) and since he's been home. He used to train members of LRRP (Long-Range Reconnaissance Patrol) teams. He used to say he never felt more alive as when he was being shot at. He too carried a sidearm because he said when they're shooting at you, you have to shoot back and defend yourself.
I can only imagine the struggle and strength it took for you to write and share your experiences on paper. Your level of detail and imagery truly painted the most honest and realistic picture of life as a combat medic while serving in Vietnam. Sometimes I wonder how any solider ever made it out of there alive. For some unexplained reason, my brother never incurred as much as a scratch while in Nam or even at Walter Reed when he returned to the States.
I sincerely wish and hope you have or will find some sense of peace and contentment. Thank you for sharing your thoughts and opening up your heart to us.
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After all these years, I still well up with tears. So your emotions are appreciated.
PS... I'm the guy who was credited with saving Rafael's life.
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Seeing the pain, the guilt, the haunting reminders my brother struggles with every day since he came home in 1970, I can't help but have similar feelings for each and every vet and solider, especially fellow combat medics. His nickname in camp was "Bones". To this day, whenever he hears that name from some of his friends, he smiles through watery eyes. Guys like you, Mr. Britts, and Mr. Matos are truly unsung heroes in my eyes and in my heart. A heartfelt thank you for your service. Thank you kindly for your comment.
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One more thing Marge, just tell Bones he done good.
3
Beautifully, beautifully expressed. The best of all of these wonderful essays so far. Thank you.
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If David Shulkin can still look himself in the mirror he should have this read to him. Rafael Matos and his brethren have earned the honor and respect that is being frittered away by the entire administration of the current president. Mr. Matos - and those he served with - have more honor as individuals than the entire bunch of them.
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Thank you so much for sharing this. My husband, who passed away in 2014 was a combat medic and paratrooper in the Green Berets and in Vietnam for three months as apparently was the custom for Green Berets. It wasn't until we were married in 1971 that I learned his story but that he had never told anyone about his Vietnam experiences- not family or close friends. They just knew he had been in the army for two years. It wasn't until years later that he would speak about it and then it was to high school students in the school where he taught Chemistry and Physics. Like you he had hoped to become a doctor but teaching was a calling for him and he was beloved by so many of his students. The experiences you relate sound so much like the ones he slowly started sharing with me over the years. He also believed that the war was pointless and mourned the men that he could not save even when repelling from helicopters into the jungle to pick up the wounded. As with you the war remained with him alway.
And finally, in a final blow, a man who was in incredible health and strong and fit was gone in 4 months from Acute Myeloid Leukemia. To this day I believe that some chemical agent lurking in his body from that war finally reared its head and killed him. Another casualty.
Thank you again. Reading your story brought tears for both you and him and all the others who suffered and died.
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What a tremendous essay. I'm sure I will never forget this story and its many lessons. Thank you, Mr. Matos, for sharing this.
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Soul moving and humbling Doc. Thanks so very much for sharing it. I was close to Doc Reed when he was shot through the chest in June, 1969. The spray of tissue and blood exiting his back is an enduring memory. How you guys managed is beyond me. Infantrymen gained the composure of walking dead after months in the field, but medics exhibited an emotionless resignation some degrees darker than we did. I'll love you guys till I'm dead. Thanks again.
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Dedicated to Docs Reed and Woodruff whom I so much and always admire, but as much to Jim "Doc" Rothblatt whose friendship over the years, with other members of our "cyber" squad, has meant so much to me. All these decades later being at war just never quite goes away.
25
My story is way too similar as a Marine tracked vehicle repairman in 69-70 in Qua Viet, then Da Nang, except I was luckier - I didn't get hit. But many of my friends did, and some of them have their names on the wall. Our corpsmen (docs) were the best. They really cared about us when our country did not. Some of them should have received Medals of Honor for what I saw them do under fire. My brother was an Army medic a few years after I was in country. He still carries those scars.
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stunning. absolutely stunning.
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Your story moved me deeply and I am so sorry for your pain. Like Trump, I was a draft dodger and never served. In 1974 my wife and I adopted a Vietnamese orphan who has given us two handsome grandchildren. Her natural affinity for children lead her to a career in a Head Start center helping less fortunate children have a better life.
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Mr. Henry, you are nothing "like Trump" - from your words, we can all envision a caring, intelligent gentleman, with equal admiration for your wife. You contributed to the world in a positive way through the adoption of your daughter. Congratulations and best wishes to you all. This is from a combat veteran who served in DaNang...most, if not all veterans would not hold any negative thoughts about your choice in life.
16
Thank you Mr. Matos for your story. It is one of courage and caring. You may have been young and undertrained, but it sounds to me as if you were the person for such a demanding and dangerous job. I hope you find some peace in knowing that you served not only your country, but most importantly, every victim, despite nationality, of that tragic and, in your words, pointless war.
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