The question which should be put to all Republican legislators is not whether or not Trump had sex with porn stars or committed adultery, but,
Would you leave your 19 year old daughter alone with Trump for a day?
19
I hope that Melania dumps Trump the minute he's out of office. She'd be stupid not to. Unless of course, she's made a bargain with the devil.
10
The Porn President and the Porn Star
(fixed it for you)
24
He has to pay his sex partners a lot to have relations with him. From porn stars to Melania. Ten grand to millions. That buys a lot of McDonald burgers.
24
Really Michelle, sex with a porn star seems like minor news for Mr. Trump. The religious right is playing a new game called Donald Trump Ten Commandment Bingo. Square one, worshipping only God, the dollar and wealth win here. Adultery- this square has been x-ed so many times that there is a hole in the card. Keep the sabbath- more rounds of golf on Sunday than church services. Thou shall not steal- just ask Trump University students, hired construction workers, and former business partners. Thou shall not murder- as far as we know he only fantasizes about this one- on the streets of New York no less. You shall not give false testimony against you neighbor- 2000 lies and counting with his major targets being President Obama and Hillary Clinton. For Bingo officianados the game is black out where all 10 boxes must be filled. How ironic is that- black out -after the hate speech about Haiti and Africa.
29
What I don't understand is this: Why did Donald Trump think he had to pay off the porn star? The episode was consensual. It didn't involve harassment or assault. It wasn't as bad as other things he's done, like walking into beauty contestants' dressing rooms or grabbing women by their private parts. Why not just let Stormy Daniels go public and then deny it happened? That's typical Trump!
19
Ironic, that Republicans got so much political mileage out of Hillary 'fecklessly standing by her man' during the Monica Lewinski debacle, and now we have a 'First Lady' whose stated pet project is to end 'bullying', listening daily to reports about her predatory, rakish boor of a husband, indiscriminately grabbing women by their genitals, 'because he's famous', and paying off porn stars to keep them quite about his, um, 'indiscretions'.
And all we hear are the crickets.
36
The president and the porn star. The president and the Miss Universe contestants, the president and the women he groped, the president and shitholes, the president and racism, the president and both sides, the president and Bannon and Ivanka and Miller and Flynn and Manafort, the president and the Mexican rapists and Pocahontas and, and, and...
I cry for our beloved country.
45
Its not the sex, its the cover up. Did the money come from trump's campaign or trump himself? Knowing how cheap trump is with anyone but himself, I wonder who footed the bill to keep all those women quiet.
Open your mouths concerning Clinton you hypocritical republicans...I dare you.
27
How about this hysteria-meter?
Clinton having extra-marital sex with an intern: bad! Because he increased TAX on the rich (right).
Trump having extra-marital sex with porn star: acceptable! Because he reduced TAX on the rich (right).
26
Let us not confuse consensual sex with a woman not his wife, who happens to be a porn star, with his admissions of sexually abusing women, which deserve to be censured by Congress at the very least.
9
Trump is gutless and does not champion free love or embrace sex. He is a gigantic fake as are most US politicians.
It reminds me in a worse way of Bill Clinton's shameful cowardice toward Monica. He denied her and lied and we got G W Bush from that. And now we have Trump.
Obama at least loved his wife and was OK by her.
If you like free love at least be open about it. Trump is a sneaky liar about everything. Trump is worse than a bad teenager.
13
Conservatives and Republicans have sold their souls, made the metaphorical pact with a devil. It is always easy to criticize bad behavior in others. Remember the republican litany of ‘character matters’? Where are those voices now? Where are those critical of Hitler’s advisors and supporters who overlooked his tantrums and strangeness in order to wallow in power.
Human nature is such it is willing to go to extremes to pick and criticize those they don’t like. yet overlook their values and the faults of those they like and find useful. Where are the honorable voices that will gather up momentum and say enough?
15
The one good thing you can say about Catherine Deneuve's critique of the #MeToo movement is that it underlines how Americans really got off on the wrong foot about sex since the Puritans. And it's only been downhill since then, for both sexes, as the Trump, Clinton, and Ansari cases all illustrate.
Perhaps we should pass a constitutional amendment outlawing sex altogether and establishing a right to artificial insemination. That would have the additional merit of finally ending the abortion wars.
4
Trump is a symptom, a suppurating pustule, warning our body politic of an internal rot that is sickening America and will destroy us unless we can completely muck it out.
[18.0116.1435]
14
Blackmail lurks around this peculiar man. The Steele Dossier, something Trump and how sycophants call "fake news" contains an account of his bedroom ramble with Russian prostitutes at the Moscow Ritz. Trump is reported to have mentioned-and-denied this in discussions with James Comey. Sally Yates testified that she feared blackmail and so informed the White House which cost her her job in the Justice Department and earned her a vulgar epithet from Mr. Trump. Now, we discover that the leader of the free world in the middle of his election campaign paid hush money to a porn star via the auspices of Mr. Cohen, who also appears as an actor in the dossier. John LeCarre and Ian Fleming couldn't better these "fictions." Dicky, Chuck and Nancy may soon realize what Congressman John Lewis warned: you can't make a deal with the devil.
19
The stories about Trump and the porn stars should make Evangelicals pause for a moment and wonder exactly whom they are selling their souls to support.
8
“Sleeping with a pornstar”? Nice kid gloves. That is certainly not the euphemism that the President himself would have used to describe his dalliances in wink-wink nudge-nudge boasting in the Oval Office with the “boys”. Sex is not evil, but that man is.
18
Where are the partisan hearings?? Where is the salacious innuendo of behind-the-wife's-back dalliances? Where's the Family Values crowd when you need them to hold the occupant of the most powerful office to some degree of accountability? If Obama paid a prostitute 20 bucks for a quickie, he'd be out of town on the next rail. The lawyer didn't pay the woman out of his own pocket! We have a slime ball liar - who has yet to deny or confirm the encounter - again make a mockery of the family unit. I get the Tweet fatigue, I get the dog whistle racist rant fatigue. But this clown has just got to go and anyone standing beside him for whatever reason needs to follow him out of town.
25
The president of 36 percent of the country lies every hour, every minute of every day. He makes light of it all, as you can see in his face when he tells us, "I am the least racist person you will ever interview." I'd rather we focus on his big lies, not this one about a dalliance with a well endowed porn star. Let's see his taxes. Let's see if he's spending time in the morning dealing with his businesses. Let's get to the bottom of what he knew when he had Jr. tell lies after the meeting with the Russians was divulged.
17
Presidential sexual ethics are an oxymoron. Donald Trump, the barbarian clown with the long red tie, demonstrates the nadir of Republican corruption with his $130K pay-off to the beautiful porn star - "Stormy Fields" - during the last month of his campaign for our presidency. The Republican Party, already circling the drain of the "outhouse" (sic), doesn't give a fig or a horse apple for Trump's seamy behaviour. President Sleaze? Male sexual license? It's just America's trashy Porn Culture exemplified by Donald Trump, the president pro tem today. Sex scandals come and go. So do presidents. Outrage won't cut the mustard any longer.
9
"In the 1990s, porn culture seemed subversive and chic." I think that sentence from the column is the icing on the cake.
3
What I find astounding is that the average Trump working stiff base supporter out there in Trump Country probably doesn’t even own a home that is worth $130,000. But their President dumps that much money on a porn star liaison to keep her quiet and they are perfectly okay with it. Some folks should have their heads examined.
31
I honestly think our country's wildly frightened, FOX-addled, revengeful, sleep-deprived brains have finally atrophied to little nubs so we elected our reflection: an old racist man with a little nub of a brain. What next, people?
8
The Republicans will never be outraged because their goal is power, and with majorities in both houses of Congress as well as the presidency, they are OK with anything Trump does unless that is threatened.
Today's Republican Party is not what it was ten years ago, pre–Citizens United or pre–SpeechNow.org v. FEC.
The former Supreme Court decision allowed huge donations from corporations, labor unions and associations (with disclosures) while the latter U.S. District Court (D.C.) decision (post-Citizens United) allowed certain "social welfare groups" and nonprofits -- 501(c)4s and 501(c)6s -- to make the same without disclosing their donors. Both decisions led to the creation of super PACS, and massive sums of money -- from known and unknown quarters -- were unleashed into the election process.
Remember, Hitler was elected.
14
And every day we get “53% of white women voted for Donald Trump” rammed down our throats. The truth, sad to say.
What is wrong with you, %53 %?
How could you?
14
First, awesome headline, but then one thinks, swap out the word "porn" with "movie" and it quickly reveals just how readily it could be filled----as history has shown, by a wide array of professions.
Ultimately, the lack of Republican outrage, as it relates to Trump's malfeasance, misfeasance and sheer buffoonery unbeknownst to any US President since George Washington underlines why even Senators Cotton and Perdue are now starting to lie for Trump. If Trump claimed buying the porn star's silence as a business expense on his taxes, it probably would be allowed. MAGA indeed.
6
Liberals have tons of rage about Trump's messing around with porn stars. For one thing, it's a power trip of wealth and privilege, the use of women for ego and via money. It's completely a sleazy and deceptive way to cheat, and just because we're liberals doesn't mean we condone cheating. Also, he lies like a man whose lies got him what he has, and will get him off he hook for this. Greed and waste, complete objectification, the confusing of fantasy with reality...There is NO collective shrug from the left over this backsliding behavior from a pig of a man trying to set back American cultural progress by about 75 years.
5
trump can bed all the porn stars he wants, as far as I'm concerned. If it contributes in any way toward preventing him from pushing his big button, we're all better off.
But here's the thing. Does anyone really believe that the notoriously parsimonious trump would pay out his own money to silence these women? No, of course not! We've already seen indications that he viewed campaign funds as an all-purpose slush fund, so why not use them for this?
Presto! Problem solved!
If it turns out that trump used campaign funds to pay off his porn stars -- which his lawyer would probably say was his fault -- wouldn't that be a fun bit of political theatre?
16
I don't care how many prostitutes the president had sex with or who he paid off. I care, and I care deeply, that for some reason he has decided not to go forward with DACA. I know he blames it on the Democrats, but honestly I don't see the connection.
3
The common sexual behaviors exhibited by many men in power point to something in our culture they wished to mimic. Which seemed to be some affinity for acting out their own pornographic scene with a sexual object of "strange".
You can bet that Trump bragged up his exploit of "porn strange" to the boys in the locker room.
The stranger in the White House ain't such a stranger in our culture of decadence -- unfit to be president yet strangely fit and selected for celebrity and entertainment value in our colosseum of freaks.
4
Consensual sex with a porn actress when your wife has a new baby, and then a payoff to the actress to stay quiet. Well, he knew he was up to something no good, did it anyway, and then gave her money to keep quiet about it. What a guy.
Now, what if Obama had done it prior to becoming President? Can you imagine the incredible outcry, the prudish crawl strips at the bottom of Fox News, the furious Republican pundits, the outraged conservative women?
Its okay if you are a Republican, and if you are Trump, there could be "a dead hooker in the bed next to him" and just worthy of a yawn. And as for his marriage vows, I imagine Trump forgot them right after he said them.
17
Far from this codger from giving celebrity dating advice, but maybe a better plan would be to see her home and see if you get invited in or at least get some encouragement. In 2018 every date for a celebrity can turn into your own not so private Louella Parsons.
Just imagine if Barack Obama was found to have paid hush money to a pornstar to coverup a sexual encounter while his wife was pregnant. Christian Evangelicals, FOX News, and depraved blowhards such as Newt Gingrich and Sean Hannity would be frothing at the mouth and having seizures. Trump himself would be Tweeting 24/7 about it. But with Trump the reaction is a mere shrug as the presidency is further debased and his hubris continues to metastasize. I suppose its one of the perks as the figure head of an illegitimate atrocity machine regime. Mere personal depravity is obscured.
14
When the issue is baked, frosted and displayed in the window, we can trust The Times to partake of the obvious and write a review.
Ms. Goldberg is once again way behind the point. Fun though it is to present yet another case study in Republican hypocrisy, it's not as though we need more evidence of it to see the big picture. So let's just sum up. They aren't hypocrites. They're at war, and lying is consistent with their purpose. They are separate from us, judging themselves by their own standards and not by ours. They will not be accountable under the common rules of our society because in their minds, "our" society is over.
It's easy fodder for a newspaper constantly in need to content to do yet another review of yet another cupcake, and thanks to the Trump Right, they're a factory for these toxic confections working every day. But it's nothing but grasping the obvious, and Ms. Goldberg's calling whatever new low they sink to "repulsively presidential" is of no value as a prescription for what the American people need to do next.
I can't think of a more damning word to use here: The New York Times in its coverage of Trump has been irresponsible. That's the word: irresponsible.
4
Nice tie. So tell me again how this guy got elected President? Isn't he like the very "Hee-Haw"-iconic prototype smarmy New-Yawker mook that everybody in every fly-over state (including mine to be sure) virulently hated, just a year or two ago? I'm confused...
7
What about Trump’s alleged 13-year-old rape victim, “Jane Doe”?Hmmmmm?
Trump’s lawyers pay off one woman (a “porn star” who engaged in consensual sex) “a month” before the elections; a second, Daniels, goes quiet after her pay-off on Nov 3.
“Jane Doe”, the woman who, in an affidavit, swore that Trump had raped her, at age 13 — and whose hearing date was fixed for early Dec after the election — cancelled her news conference and withdrew her suit, just four days before the election.
4 Days.
On Nov 4. The day after Daniels is paid off.
Come on, news media. Find this woman. Ask if she received a pay off too.
14
When Trump was first elected, I figured he should have a chance. Obama said he wished Trump would succeed because if so, the country would succeed. I thought the gravity of the office would straighten this cretin out and he would rise to the occasion. However, he has sunk below my lowest expectations. He is the most hateful, mentally and morally unfit president in our nation's history. The presidency is about charater.
8
Has anyone asked Cohen if he made the payment?
4
Some 50 years ago a man I was dating told me that if a man would cheat in the bedroom he would do so in the boardroom.
6
The only bright side of our not-very-bright Fake POTUS is that he exposed the GOP for what it really is and what it stands for. They're a bunch of colluding hypocrites, phonies, liars, and cheats who sell their votes and souls to the highest bidders (who bid the highest because they tend to be the most corrupt, immoral, and dishonest business types imaginable who resent any efforts to keep them from polluting and destroying in order to fatten their bottom lines).
There's no ideology, integrity, morality, or beliefs on the right other than money.
10
If just before the election the public knew of hush money paid to a porn star, might enough women have paused and not voted Trump in those states that gave him the electoral win?
6
The Dems gave Pres. Clinton, and the then Mrs. Clinton, a pass by saying these were “family issues” and not as Bennet wrote “[P]residential adultery as corrosive. Clinton’s promiscuity, [Bennet] argued, implicated his fitness for governing: “Chronic indiscipline, compulsion, exploitation, the easy betrayal of vows, all suggest something wrong at a deep level — something habitual and beyond control….”
And certainly NOT ONE DEM was woke enough to say that a 22-year old female intern repeatedly fellating the most powerful man the world, at work, in his office, could NEVER be consensual based on the almost incomprehensible power differential. That was a family matter and not even a high crime and misdemeanor.
And where would a multi-billionaire come up with $130,000 if he needed it without a trace? Under the sofa cushions at Trump Tower? Hock an unused watch? Good luck on the financial smoking gun.
The Dems gave Pres. Clinton, and the then Mrs. Clinton, a pass by saying these were “family issues” and not as Bennet wrote “[P]residential adultery as corrosive. Clinton’s promiscuity, he argued, implicated his fitness for governing: “Chronic indiscipline, compulsion, exploitation, the easy betrayal of vows, all suggest something wrong at a deep level — something habitual and beyond control….” And certainly NOT ONE DEM was woke enough to say that a 22-year old female intern repeatedly fellating the most powerful main the world, at work, in his office, could NEVER be consensual based on the almost incomprehensible power differential.
And where would a multi-billionaire come up with $130,000 if he needed it without a trace? Under the sofa cushions at Trump Tower. Hock an unused watch? Good luck on the financial smoking gun.
1
Elliot Spitzer had to resign after his indiscretions with a hooker....Why is trump exempt from charges of sexual harassment against several women? Why is Trump exempt from his sleazy behavior? Trump is not above the law and he needs to be held accountable.
11
Paying hush money to porn stars. Threatening to sue women who speak up about being sexually assaulted. Purchasing a beauty contest so he can barge into the dressing room to leer at naked teenage girls. Boasting he can do anything, grab them by their...All lend credence to the alleged Russian prostitutes performing an "orange dance" for the orange man with hair on fire. What does this add up to?
It is a window into the debasement of Christian morality; a view of what is not just acceptable, but what is admired by evangelical Christian conservatives and Republicans at large. Trump is not just Dear Leader, he is savior of their peculiar Christian sect. He is leading them out of shame, shunning and banishment to proclaim an age of new morality for America.
In this new morality HYPOCRISY is not the eleventh commandment, it is the only commandment. They vilify others of all sins they deny but happily traffic in and secretly celebrate. LYING is their language. WHITE is their badge of exclusive membership. Male DOMINANCE is their holy grail. Female SUBMISSIVENESS is the word of their lord.
This new morality is in conflict with reality, in conflict with American values, in conflict with the US Constitution, in conflict with legitimate Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, Humanism, and all other beliefs that elevate the human spirit.
But sadly and dangerously, the new Republican evangelical Christian conservative morality has infected America, holding it hostage.
12
What we know: Trump is a racist, a liar, a bigot, a misogynist, a cheat. It's all out there for us to see. What we also know: the GOP supports him, lies for him, tolerates him, enables him, and covers for him. What we need to do: Vote in 2018 and 2020 and end this nightmare.
9
Who ever expected someone would be elected who would make Nixon look like a pillar of sobriety and Bush a genius? It is astonishing that millions of Americans continue to support such a repulsive affront to anything decent and who is detested not only by 60% of our population but world wide .
7
Trump is encouraging Putin’s aggression in Ukraine, insulting world leaders and entire countries, playing chicken with a nuclear power, and I should worry about his consensual relationship with a grown-up woman? Not only do I not consider it insignificant compared with everything else this President is guilty of; I do not consider adultery immoral, period. It Is between Trump and Melania; and if she is on board with it, why should I care? Some marriages work pretty well with both sides having an occasional fling; some marriages collapse despite mutual fidelity. The problem with this new wave of American Puritanism that has the temerity to appropriate the name of feminism is that it forces women who have no use for fainting couches and smelling salts to conform to its grim precepts. I honestly do not consider sexual relationship of any kind problematic unless there is coercion or blackmail involved. But by forcing a cultural change toward the perception of women as weak, easily shocked and undersexed, these new “feminists” force me and other normal women into the unwanted role of perpetual victims. Leave the porn star out of it and go after Trump for his horrible policies. And leave other women out of your crusade against bad dates.
2
"a posture of hardheaded moral realism": Don't you mean "relativism"? (And perhaps flip-floppy would be more apt than harheaded.)
5
If Trump did offer Jessica Drake $10,000 for sex isn't that solicitation which is actually a crime rather than merely a personal matter?
11
We'll never see his tax returns because payments to women and Russians and illegals dealings with banks would bury him alive. But I sure wish we could bury all of this mess, let him have his shady business and life, and go back a few years. Please, wouldn't we like to start over...
15
If you take Trump's words and imagine them coming from the mouth of a thirteen or fourteen year-old, they surprisingly fit. His inability to stop kissing women, his word war with Kim Jong-un, and his recent comments about Haiti and Africa would all be normal for a teenager. Obviously, Trump's no teenager, and his words and actions are totally out of place for an adult president of the United States. Unfortunately, a certain percentage of Americans are chauvinistic and racist - and are perfectly comfortable with Trump's childish ways. If there is a God, it would be a good time for him/her/it to step in and help us.
See:
RevolutionOfReason.com
TheRogueRevolutionist.com
4
"I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the right’s tacit embrace of a laissez faire approach to sexuality — at least male, heterosexual sexuality — coincides with attempts on the left to erect new ethical guardrails around sex."
I believe you mean the right's tacit embrace of WHITE, wealthy, right wing, heterosexual sexuality.
6
I find it hard to believe he's as healthy as his fast-speaking physician claims, and had to turn down the sound so I would not pick up all those thousands of "you know" utterances this man used at rapid pace. Find it hard to believe this president did well in cognitive evals. Felt gas-lighted.
8
Males are more likely to act assertively to achieve what they want while females are more likely to seek consensus to achieve what they want. Both are making efforts to achieve satisfaction of similar needs but the means used tend to result in males forcing things to the conclusion which they seek while females may find that their preferences have been ignored. It goes beyond culture because it occurs in almost every culture. It's something that evolution has produced which may not adversely affect procreation but it does create disharmony between the sexes.
This tension is expressed in complaints about how male domination of societies deprives females of their ability to succeed and achieve their potentials, and attributes the inequities to systematic male control of all the ways in which people may succeed and achieve their potentials in society. Males are the oppressors and must be opposed to free females to reach their potentials.
When males see women in terms of their sexuality, they are diminishing their individual personalities by emphasizing one part of who they are, and it contributes to the oppression of women. Pornography focuses upon sexuality and is thus diminishes the women involved as people, so it represents a deprivation of the rights of women who are being exploited to serve the base desires of men, their oppressors.
Thus part of the importance of the #MeToo movement is overcoming gender inequities that is caused by male domination of society.
Trump is "having his way" with the children in the CHIP program, the DACA people, and even the environment. The prostitutes don't concern me - at least they'll be able to afford some health care this year. Furthermore, illicit sex is the only truly bi-partisan effort in congress! Don't spoil the one thing they are capable of agreeing on.
1
It seems this nation will never get past being a country full of prudes. That's how we started out, and that's what we still remain. I didn't care about any consensual relationships Clinton might have had, and I don't care about any consensual relationships Trump may have had. More power to them. Forced relationships, however, are a different matter, if we could talk about them tationally. But we're too prudish to even do that. Sad.
7
If his affairs and assaults were truly irrelevant, there'd be no need for hush money. They are relevant. How he treats half the human race is relevant. But he immunized himself by surviving the Access Hollywood tapes and still winning the presidency. So, unless he lies under oath about his sexual behavior, there is little to be done about it other than vote him out of office in 2020.
6
The media has yelled out "Fire" so many times now with such overwrought drama about everything that people have gone deaf. It's difficult to take any of it seriously anymore.
7
Oh, how far the hypocrites have fallen, now that they are exposed for the frauds they truly are (and always have been). Here are a few items the Republican Party used as political cudgels and fig-leafs for decades but has absolutely right to lay claim to based on its actions:
Morality? nope
Fiscal responsibility? nope
Patriotism? nope
Just like Trump, the GOP is the exact opposite of what it claims to be.
11
In the scheme of things, Trump will go down as an anomaly but I question the bad precedents he's setting with extensive lies, disparaging ad hominen comments, voicing racist beliefs, not divulging his tax returns, running his businesses while in office, etc. He's making good behavior non-mandatory in the Oval Office, now where almost anything goes. I don't think his supporters understand how fragile democracy really is and how it depends upon the bona fides of its participants.
5
(correction of previously submitted comment)
Oh, how far the hypocrites have fallen, now that they are exposed for the frauds they truly are (and always have been). Here are a few items the Republican Party used as political cudgels and fig-leafs for decades but has absolutely NO right to lay claim to based on its actions:
Morality? nope
Fiscal responsibility? nope
Patriotism? nope
Just like Trump, the GOP is the exact opposite of what it claims to be.
Maybe pick your battles. Whether the sex is consensual or not, paid off or not, it's not a partisan issue. Members of both and all teams do it. What i'm interested in is the release of details of the payouts made for members of congress over the past years. The ones that they set up to keep hushed. What a loathesome, self-dealing bunch our congress is.
4
There is something unsettling about this trend as I watch with dismay so many intelligent and brilliant women fall into the trap they appear to be laying for themselves.
I am sickened to see young women practically starving themselves to fit a certain proscribed image of sexiness as hemlines fly up into the crotch and necklines drop to the navel. Meanwhile, more of the augmented breast is exposed. Which is it, brain or brawn? And just how do women want to be perceived - as intelligent powerhouses deserving of respect and attention or distracting shrews based on an image that is fleeting.
1
These events give additional credibility to some of the events in "The Dossier" that have not already been validated. If these events are true, there's a pattern of extramarital sex that Trump is willing to pay to hide. That makes Trump appear to be a rather viable blackmail target.
8
I guess I fall in the generation that feels "Grace" had a terrible date and needs to get over herself. If this is what 23 year-olds think is sexual harassment, they have lived privileged lives, indeed. What happened to personal agency? You're on a date, it is terrible and you are uncomfortable - say something and then leave. According to her own reportage, no one was threatening Grace if she refused her date's sexual advances. To publish this story using a fake name while attacking someone using their real name is an act of self-important malice. Young women - do not go home with someone you have just met; do not confuse your admiration for someone with intimacy; do not stick around if someone is pushing you to have sex and you don't want to have sex with them; and do not think having a bad or awkward date gives you the right to destroy someone else's reputation.
14
"They are, it seems to me, trying to impose new norms of consideration on a brutal sexual culture, without appealing to religious sanction or patriarchal chivalry."
At first blush, this might seem sophisticated. But really, t falls apart of its own weight. If there's no higher authority to mandate new norms, then what is the basis? A few feminists who claim to speak for other women? Why do they get to set the agenda?
Ms. Valenti's tweet is even more absurd - if normal (by which I assume she means casual) sexual encounters aren't working, the solution is easy: Don't pursue them.
Maybe the rules that were challenged as outdated relics of oppressive patriarchy are just more suited to functioning human societies than anything that's been tried to replace them.
3
The stock market just broke 26,000. As long as it continues to hum along like that, nobody much cares what Trump does or says, or who he paid off. As James Carville noted, "It's the economy, stupid."
2
“A lot of men will read that post about Aziz Ansari and see an everyday, reasonable sexual interaction. But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers ‘normal’ sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.”
-------
Why anyone, male or female, who pushes for sex on a first date thinks that there is a guarantee that it will be wonderful, is beyond me.
In this Ansari case, it seems like it was the woman who initiated the encounter, and expected him to be able to read her "non-verbal cues." On a first date?
Please.
He stopped when she expressed herself clearly by saying "No." That should have been the end of the story. For him it was. For her, apparently not.
6
By supporting Trump the religious right condones a man who acts contrary to their most well defined moral principles with respect to conduct between the sexes. The hypocrisy is so flagrant, that it makes them appear to not believe in what they have claimed to believe. He may sign anything that Republicans send him to sign from the Congress, but he's a man who exhibits no convictions, nor ethics, nor morality.
4
Besides wanting the hypocritical conservatives and religious right to finally stop trying to dictate mores to the rest of us, I would also like us to finally have insurance companies to stop financing their Viagra through our insurance premiums. They have succeeded in allowing anyone to opt out of covering birth control for women (and other female related medical coverage such as prenatal care) so they should now allow the option for insurance companies to drop coverage of male enhancement medications. It is time for them to equal up the playing field on all levels now that we have the most immoral president ever and there is nary a peep out the conservatives.
4
Trump is a narcissist, a bully, a spoiled brat and certainly not stable and not brilliant. Here’s an opportunity for many of us to raise our hackles. Then what? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Sometimes I think the best thing that we can do is scream, “Eat Donald, Eat.” The political will on the part of his party to hold him accountable is non-existent.
When’s the next election?
Am I being prematurely nostalgic to say I so miss the Obama years. No scandals. No outlandish statements. Presidential behavior every day. Hate his policies if you want. But you must admire the man. And his family. What great examples for our children.
12
Given how the left has methodically tried to marginalize traditions moral values on sexuality, I would say this is not a stone they should be throwing at Trump.
2
Time to vent. Sorry.
BUT LORD! All this stuff--and I do mean ALL--creates in me a profound longing to live in another country. Another time period. Another century.
Anyone miss the Victorian age?
No, I'm not serious. Not altogether. But I remember twenty years back--when talk of "Monica" ruled the airwaves, dominated every newspaper and magazine in America. Back when stains on a dress were subjected to DNA analysis. Back when the question "Does oral sex count as sex?" was batted about from pundit to pundit.
Back when we found ourselves murmuring, "This is a dream. The presidency of the United States has not ACTUALLY--sunk to THIS."
But it had.
A British paper--can't remember which one--came out with some remarks I found ineffably sad. "The America of the Puritans," it said, "has now vanished. Irretrievably vanished. It's gone."
I am not an unreconstructed Puritan. I am not pining to see stocks and the whipping post--and the lurid A for adultery--smuggled into American life. No--not this child! Not a chance.
But I'd love to see--oh, how to put this?--a little more old-fashioned PURITY--in our homes, in our life, in our leaders. As exemplified by. . ..
. . . . Harry S Truman. "A man who cheats THAT way," he wrote to his wife about some adulterous politician, "usually cheats in other ways as well."
Preach it, Mr. President!
Not that I think it'd do much good. We are what we are.
And I regret this.
A lot.
2
I wasn't in the bedroom with Grace and Aziz so I can't possibly know to what extent he was being a cad. But two things are likely: His behavior did not rise to the level of sexual assault and if he were not a celebrity, Grace would not be talking to reporters and Aziz's reputation tarnished. The #MeToo movement produces a new victim whenever a gratuitous, public charge is made against somebody.
6
Tony Clifton has more class than the president. By a wide margin.
3
Well, of course he had to pay for it. Who -- man or woman -- could possibly enjoy intimacy with him?
15
Religions around the world, have in their foundational 'holy" books , assigned women as either subject to, or less status than, men ... is it any wonder we feel allowed to do with women what we will ... where is the out rage directed at these excuses for male conduct ...
5
How much easier to be a gay man who either missed sexually receptive non-verbal cues entirely or got punched on the nose for catching them -- or both.
Women aren't the only people dealing with men.
3
Include me in the "collective shrug" group. I don't think it's illegal to pay someone to keep their mouth shut about an incident (consensual sex between two adults) that itself was not illegal.
Who cares.
6
Here's what I don't get; Whenever Trump's sexual antica are brought up, the default answer is some version of "The people knew this about him and voted for him for president anyway, so the matter is dead."
OK, let's accept that voters knew of his affair with the porn star during the campaign.
If it was known, then why pay the hush money?
14
I believe that some Democrats should invite all the women who have accused President Trump to his next State of the Union Address. These porn stars can be added if necessary.
He played ugly hardball with Hillary for something that was no fault of her own. He is deeply at fault (self-confessed) and he should be confronted on this the way he confronted her with her husband's alleged sexual transgressions..
17
trump is proud of another notch on his belt, and loves that she's labelled a "star"!!
3
The evangelicals have shown what they are made of...... the moral “low ground” is where they have parked themselves....
16
Why is it so shocking? When Republicans complained about Clinton's bad behavior, they were scolded and ridiculed as prudes by "modern" women. Feminists, as you noted, defended Bill Clinton despite allegations of rape and physical assault.
So, 20 years later, Republicans aren't going to exorcised about Trump having sex with a porn star before he was in office.
You reap what you sow.
3
Bennett long ago revealed himself as one of the leading morally bankrupt hypocrites of this or any other era.
9
The NY Times needs to spend more attention on 'policy issues' of our nation and less on 'tabloid style' news of politicians. Who cares that Trump is a typical politician that sleeps around? Not me.
I care about saving DACA and keeping immigrants safe within our borders. I don't care about Trump's sex life!
11
Don't forget that professional scold William Bennett was busy being a compulsive gambler losing 8 million bucks while finger-wagging the American public and Bill Clinton in particular.
When is America going to catch a break from men who have no self-awareness? It is the ultimate luxury to just work out your inner garbage in the public realm instead of just growing up and having some realistic idea of your faults and limits before you get naked and make every look at your every weirdness like we are now suffering through with stories of Donald Trump sleeping with hamburgers instead of his wife. It is truly time for some other genders and races in the mix, because this is just ridiculous.
8
Sigh, so little time and print space, and so many exposed Trump offenses. Consensual sex between adults aside, Trump has no respect for women or womanhood. This is what I find most disgusting about the man and his misogyny. His public statements made throughout his adulthood are aimed to diminish, objectify, and demean women.
Adultery is the lesser of many of Trump evils as actions of an amoral sociopathic narcissist. Money wounds all heels so I am betting the payout hurts worse especially as it means sex was paid for and not given freely. Doesn't that deflate his male ego?
4
Among other things, Trump is a reprobate.
4
Thank you for tintillating, timely reporting. Today our zeitgeist is invaded by hypocrisy, double talk, mendacity, vociferous verbiage disgrace, dishonor, & excess. The impudence of bigotry & moral & immoral shenanigans makes luminaries look like snake oil salesmen. Informed, inspired, light workers who attempt to catalogue & collage the pornographic political Punch & Judy shows must assume the role of tricksters. Responding to our demolished, decimated, dyslexic democracy new forms & new vocabulary & terminology are needed. Honoring the human spirit in an era of vulgarity, outrage & outrageousness is a challenge to be met by innovators. Theater must be created at the speed of decision making, gunfire, mud slides, sound, light & sexual violation. We are all being tested & a new inventive improvisation must create art fast, Our popular culture seems to be informed by snuff films. The Playwrights Sanctuary ignited by St John s University Dr Larry Myers has gone on the road to trouble spots helping newbies compose plays about the accelerated Now---spirituality & activism....with words & prayers like grenades.
3
Nobody cares about Trump’s sex life. Keep it out of the news. There are more important topics that demand attention.
RESIGN NOW!
8
We know who he is. She on the other hand is what she is and that’s a pornography star gold digger looking for money in paid interviews beyond the money she got to not reveal a personal relationship with Trump prior that had to have money or the equivalent involved. Let’s never see or hear from her again. There’s no feminist angle here.
6
Good old America, where the public cannot be informed of the hush money paid out by a person seeking the highest office in the land to cover up an extra-marital affair (nothing to see here, besides, you're not qualified). Aren't these people supposed to be vetted before they throw their hat in the ring? Hello? FBI? Homeland Security? Anyone? How many were there? A dozen? A hundred? What if such a candidate had paid off a child to keep him/her quiet? Would we be entitled to know about that before we cast our vote? Never mind, I already know the answer. We, the People, just don't rate.
5
Still I have to wonder whether, had the news about Trump's interaction with and paying off the prostitute had come out a week before the election, like Comey's release of the Clinton investigation, it would have swayed the election the other way.
5
I've been reading your pieces and I like them very much.
1
I would love to hear whether the payment originated from his charity and went through the law firm before being paid out. Or was paid by the law firm and reimbursed by the charity. That would be fun.
9
I am fond of old B&W movies, in particular British comedies. While for 2018 viewers they are simplistic, they contain much witty and clever criticism of UK politics at the time. Recently I watched Norman Wisdom's "On the Beat", in which he played a policeman. On his beat, he kept arresting individuals at random and, when asked what crimes have they committed, his answer was: "Nothing yet, but they were thinking about it".
As argued by Bari Weiss in another NYT article, Mr. Ansari can be faulted only for his inability to read Grace's mind. She believes that Mr. Ansari has committed a crime because, in their encounter, he could not pick up on her "non-verbal clues". I am not a lawyer, but it seems to me that this logic fall into the same category as that of Mr. Wisdom.
Let's face the fact: if bad or unsatisfying sex can be grounds for accusing one's partner of sexual assault, then the number of cases that the US judicial system - or that any other country, for that matter - has to handle will be astronomical.
4
I'd rather people not publish the sex they have. However, not that sex is about politics, there is no stopping it. Sex+politics can't be good, and all the "Graces" will keep getting disappointed and losing sympathy.
1
One commenter here says she never wants to hear another word from the likes of "Gingrich, Falwell, Huckabee" etc. Do I ever agree with that! I'd add the Rev. Franklin Graham to the list. And what a nasty blast from the past to see Bill Bennett's name in print.
5
Trump simply cannot tell the truth.
5
Moral compasses have become moral spin tops.
5
A President with no "morals" or "integrity" sits in the White House. This has been blatantly clear from the beginning of his announcement, if not before. For those that argue, "We knew what he was like and voted for him anyway!" Did you?
For those that truly uphold their marriage vows, "forsaking all others", still should mean a great deal! Clearly, Trump justifies every despicable act he has committed by lying or deflecting blame onto others! This is NOT normal behavior, nor should we accept this from the President!
He is sorely lacking in all areas of his life and Presidency! We deserve better, and it certainly does not come from the Republican Party. They have shown themselves to be who they are and what they stand for!!!
5
"I can sympathize with the younger feminists who are pushing the limits of the #MeToo movement. They are, it seems to me, trying to impose new norms of consideration on a brutal sexual culture, without appealing to religious sanction or patriarchal chivalry."
A lot of those younger feminists were too pure to vote for Hillary Clinton. Every one of them that stayed home or voted for Jill Stein or whatever was a half a vote for Donald Trump. So they elected Donald Trump, who has elevated brutal sexual culture -- and an entire armada of accompanying awfulness -- to the White House.
3
Maybe this particular deficiency of Trump is indicative of others, but it is the others that imperil the Country, and it is the ridiculous venal billionaire-vassal GOP Congress that is indulging these other deficiencies of Trump at the expense of America.
5
Wasn't 2006 the same year that donald was alleged to have assaulted a minor? If so, is this 'revelation' just more stage management from Roger Stone?
2
the lack of outrage over this president's pay-off-for-play sex isn't an outrage because there are far more serious problems --like Russian collusion, resignations of diplomats and incompetent agency heads--to claim our outrage. The average American has just so much energy per day to spend on outrage against this President.
2
There are still outrage hurled at politicians for consensual adulterous sexual relations, just not at the presidential level. This is both for the Democrats and the Republicans, because the stake is too high and adultery or even criminal sexual assault simply doesn't measure up. As such, women are clearly still the inferior species because even offenses against us are lesser crimes, mean less.
Having said that, the conservatives and the Evangelical Christians are particularly hypocritical in their claim for morality. And this pre-dates Trump. I would in fact argue, if not for their moral failing in being the true vanguard of our values -- not just in sex but values like honesty, honor, principality, integrity, compassion and wisdom, Trump would not be in the White House.
Which is worse, failing to live up to our image made in God, or making God in our image of failings?
1
'Bennett described blasé attitudes toward presidential adultery as corrosive ... then condemned “Never Trump” conservatives for their “terrible case of moral superiority.”'
Bennett's wild double standards aside, Trump's moral inferiority undercuts just about everybody.
5
For Katrina. Contraception needs to be taught and the pills need to be bought. Just because you know how and have cash does not mean all girls and women are as hip. Send your check to Planned Parenthood or don't preach.
2
As with so many other Trump behaviors - the bullying, the boasting, the lying, the racism, the indifference to suffering (Puerto Rico, California wildfires, for two examples) - how each of us judges this revelation is diametrically divided. For those who, like me, have always known that Donald Trump is a sleazy, selfish, corrupt, immoral human being. For his base, this is either fake news created by the media and the Democrats, or it is of trivial importance when weighed against his amazing successes. For these people, I have a question: Is this the moral and ethical example you want your children to follow?
2
Everyone who knows how to read and/or who have listened to Trump's revelations during the past several decades can not be surprised at what a misogynistic cad he is... albeit a filthy rich misogynistic cad. Paying off his sexual innuendos is disgusting but WE THE PEOPLE must not lose sight or track of the REAL & DANGEROUS QUESTIONS at hand. Did Donald Trump and/or his family collude with Russia to intentionally interfere with the 2016 Presidential Election? Is he being blackmailed by the Russian Government and/or Russian Oligarchs? Is he guilty of laundering money via Russia? If the answer to any of these questions is yes... He is likely guilty of obstruction of justice and possibly treason. Let's stay focused on what's really important and not get distracted by his sexual improprieties, which again can't really be a surprise to anyone.
2
Divorce of a sitting president? That would be in keeping with the reality drama in the WH. Think of the leverage Melania would have.
7
Thank you for putting these situations in the context of their times. It is easy to apply today's perspective on history especially if you're not a deep thinker like our president.
I guess nobody really needs to wonder why Melania won't hold the infants hand.
1
I think the simplest distinction that many Christian conservatives draw between politicians who "sin" sexually is between those who are staunchly anti-abortion and those who are not.
For many conservative Christians, either having an abortion or facilitating one is the very worst thing that a human being can do. The sins of rape, torture, or even murder pale in comparison, and lesser sins (corruption, lying, exploitation of the powerless, et cetera) are not even relevant.
For this kind of single-issue voter, the unsanctioned sexual behaviors of anti-abortionists may be sinful, but their sin is far outweighed in the moral scales by their virtue in at least attempting to prevent the occurrence of even a single abortion.
This explains why the sexual sins of Trump and Moore can be overlooked, while those of Bill Clinton cannot be.
If Trump or Moore supported a woman's right to choose, then the Christian right would repudiate them immediately.
10
Let's consider a little perspective:
If this had been revealed about Barack Obama while he was president, it would have been the most damaging scandal erupting in his eight years in the White House. Sean Hannity, among others, would be bleeding out the ears, nose and eyeballs in outrage and he wouldn't let it go for a year.
With Trump, it wasn't the worst, second, or even third worst controversy of the week, and it was mostly shrugged off. That's where Trump and his value-free Republican poodles have taken us in just one year.
16
Unfaithfulness and the Presidency stretch back over a century. Mr Trump didn't invent it, nor did Mr Clinton. There was JFK, Mr Harding, and those are just the standouts in a slew of infidelities of former US Presidents.
There is nothing saintly about the former US Presidents, they all to some extent represent the best and worst of what man has to offer voted in by the best and worst of humanity. Neither political party has taken the moral high ground, but in all honesty, personal fidelity is less of an issue than the underlying feeling and fear that if they can betray the person closest to them, what chance do we as the citizens they are supposed to represent stand?
If you voted for Trump and just got laid off by Walmart at a Sam's club store, a coal worker for Murray Energy, or dozens of other companies that just got a huge tax cut that then continued their layoffs and gave the money to shareholders then you too feel betrayed by Trump and the rest of the GOP.
If you voted for Obama and lost someone in the wars started under Bush, then you too feel betrayed by the government for its so-called War on Terror where it turned out we were the terrorists to much of the world.
It is a betrayal of our principles that we claim to be about but do otherwise in the name of profit, expedience, and/or self interest. Any wonder then who we elect to represent us?
2
An agreement to have sex should be a kind of joint venture - which means that Both parties are responsble to make their interests and limits clear. Grace did not, and her complaint just seems to be a variant of morning-after regrets.
I do not believe she was a victim in this case - she did not act responsibly.
Next time, perhaps she will speak-up and own-up to her actions?
4
In his defense, Trump has probably done more than any man in the history of Manhood for Hot Women. Scores of attractive women who had no hopes of ever attending college won scholarships through the Miss Universe Pageant that Trump generously owned, closely monitoring the dressing rooms of the contestants. Many, many young women, some mere girls, who never knew they were "hot," got a chance to make big money from their looks through the Donald J. Trump Modeling Agency. Without Trump's keen eye for "Hotness," many of these lovely females might have wasted their looks on ordinary tasks that average-looking woman (or worse) might have done. No one in the history of capitalism has ever shown a keener eye for finding the hidden value in a female asset! All he asks in return is a simple, "Thank you!"
3
Do you really care...it's sex...thats all...so do you really care ?
3
Look, I am not a Trump fan (consider the fellow an absurd president), but I don't see much wrong here. So what if he had a one-nighter with a porn star (many men fantasize about it) . . . let's focus on other more pressing matters shall we (of which there are many beyond Mr. Trump's comprehension and ability to manage).
5
So the "jounalists" at the NYT assume it is ok to basically reprint a article with a single, unidentified source, from a hit piece done by the WSJ.
Pathetic. MAGA!
5
"[P]rofessional moral scold."
Goldberg nailed Bennett. Her discipline to resist the cheap shot as to the self-confessed gambler's own "indiscipline" and "compulsion" was also impressive.
As for the "sexually libertarian"–"aggressively prudish," whose-ox-is-being-gored philosophical flip, it's a feint on both sides.
If the right-wing prudes hold their collective nose much longer, they will turn blue.
As for the feminists' newfound aggressive prudishness, Deneuve and the rest of those horrified French women should relax. It's only about The Black Dress. The Black Dress was less about Hollywood victims avenging the Hollywood Weinsteins than craven arrivistes obscuring their Faustian bargain.
2
One thing left out is that except for a few counties in Nevada it is still illegal to pay (either before or after) for sex. No matter the gender of either, or multiple participants. If a gal pays a guy, it’s prostitution. If a guy pays a gal, it’s prostitution. If a gal pays a gal or a gal & a guy it’s prostitution. If a guy pays a guy, or a a guy & a gal it’s prostitution. That’s illegal. With all those women happy to give it away free, it’s also stupid. To overpay ($10,000 is over paying, $130,000 is just ridiculous, & proves the genitals involved are probably sub standard). If it’s wrong for liberals to do it, then it’s 10X as wrong for conservatives as they yell the loudest when the other side does it. If you are going against your own parties so called morals, then the party should immediately ban the participant from ever running for office, & if in office demand they resign forthwith. Including those as stupid as Trump. Stable genius my Aunt Annie’s Fanny. Needs to be kept in a locked ward, in a rubber room. Then cremated for probable diseases upon death, with ashes mixed in special concrete & sunk just off of Mari Lag OH! Then burn that down for it is full of toxic substances. Then his apt in NYC & all other Trump abodes. All toxic. Don’t forget before the next president moves in to fumigate & wash the whole place down with pure bleach. The republicans in congress can do that without masks or rubber gloves.
1
The mainstream media, including the NY Times continues to shelter Donald Trump and fellow criminal Jeffrey Epstein from accusations made under oath that they both engaged in the brutal rape of a 13 year old girl.
5
This is a good point. “Jane Doe” cancelled her press conference and withdrew her rape suit against Donald Trump only 4 days before the election. About the time one of these “consensual” complainants, Daniels, was being paid off.
Someone doing real journalism needs to find and interview this woman.
The collective shrug is due to the fact that Trump is a textbook Republican. We deal with these filth in our lives every day. The country is infested with them.
4
Kindly retitle this article - The Average American and Internet Porn
4
Why would you bring up a woman’s past? Surely, it must be possible to argue a line of reasoning without reprising people’s sexual history.
1
In a recent discussion with a smart and energetic young man, we touched on Bill Clinton's legacy. He pointed out that it's ironic that the two perhaps best-known "mistakes" that Clinton made were also the things that made him most human: having sex in the Oval Office and smoking marijuana as a college student. His point was that these were things that were clearly driven by Clinton the man, rather than Clinton the politician.
3
The president's actually getting a lot of negative criticism on conservative blogs, focusing on ] the fact a sex scandal such as this is related to his long since worn out brand. He almost looks ridiculous:
He's clearly a much older man on his third marriage, and while married acted as a playboy setting up and having affairs with his friends wives, then letting the men know in quite a cruel manner.
It is not at all like JFK and his dalliances. Imagine Trump during the Cuban Missile Crisis. We'd have been blown off the earth and not here to type on our computers + phones on Michelle's article.
So many levels to this, but it seems rather down to earth and final his third wife was quoted saying “if I weren’t beautiful, do you think he’d be with me?”
4
I wonder if the liberal darling John F. Kennedy's well publicized sexual exploits (far too many to count) affected his fitness to govern given he's been hailed by so many on the left (and some on the right) as among our greatest presidents? And do Trump's various dalliances play a role in his ability to govern? The answer is no. The quicker we retire the moral police force the quicker we can focus on things that are important. Not someone's personal life.
3
Sorry Matt but morally corrupt countries with morally corrupt leaders and morally corrupt citizens are inevitably headed to junk heap of history.
The election of 2018 will arrive. You can express you opinion of Mr. Trump by your vote against the Party which supports him. The election of 2020 will arrive. You can express your opinion of Mr Trump and of the the Party which supports him by voting against both of them. Do so with enthusiasm.
17
I don't think it is a collective shrug; it is just that the left has no power to do anything.
5
Re. Goldberg's final words: presidentially repulsive, perhaps--certainly not fit to conclude that Trump's behavior reshapes the term or office itself by ending this op-ed with "repulsively presidential" since that's the point you're trying to get across--that all that activity is indeed not presidential.
1
Since Trump was obviously blackmailed by "Stormy Daniels", it is important that the details of these other 100 women that Bannon mentioned be investigated as well. Lawyer/client privilege may not apply here if the payments were part of a criminal conspiracy.
10
It wasn't Bill Bennett but Ross Perot who earlier noted the link between marital fidelity and fitness for election. "If a may can't keep his promises to the most important person in his life, what makes us think he'll keep his promises to the voters?" Bill proved unable to keep his promises either to Hilary or to his voters. Trump is proving he's cut from the same pathetic mold.
American politics is so polarized now that outrage over flouted moral values will no longer matter. Conservatives will retreat into religiosity and selective amnesia. Liberals will be unconstrained by any standards, (Oprah for president?), while justifiably denouncing republican attacks on character and fitness as hypocrisy. The media will play both sides against each other, for ratings, because it is no longer the fourth estate.
Once upon a time we had a presidency untouched by personal scandal with a family that was an outstanding example of universal values. Obamas. But we the people selected Trump. If we the people do not insist on much better, then we will deserve everything that follows.
6
ANYONE who violates their marriage vows because they can't exercise self-control, lying to the person to whom they've made the most sacred & intimate promise is likely to be deceptive with everyone, in business as much as the bedroom.
But we must hold everyone to the same standard. How can Republicans in Missouri criticize Eric Greitens just one year after they voted for Donald Trump? The Evangelical Conservative GOP, which has declared there are no moral standards in politics, needs to be consistent in this decision.
1
None of this matters. There is nothing --- NOTHING --- Trump could ever do that would cause the Republicans in Congress to agree to move against him.
I would love to be wrong, but I don't think I am.
14
Agreed, As some have observed, he is the Republicans' useful idiot allowing them to get their dirty work done on taxes, medical care, the environment.
Why talk here about “male sexual license” without also talking about “female sexual license?” That makes sense only if the norm is that sex happens in committed relationships except it’s OK for men but not women to cheat. I don’t think that’s true. If you think it is you should establish it with sound empirical work, not narrative. (A survey that caught my attention as a young man found that the percentage of women who thought it was OK for women but not men to cheat slightly exceeded the percentage of men who thought it was OK for men but not women to cheat.)
Why should one gender “impose new norms of consideration on a brutal sexual culture” on the other? Men are people too. Each gender should be considerate of the other. If a person due to inclination, upbringing, or experience prefers serial monogamy or marriage to hookups, that person should communicate the fact clearly and the other person should truthfully respond.
I don’t see a basis in modern America for one gender to seize the moral high ground and put the other gender on the defensive here. I don’t think most men want sex in brutal hookups while most women want sex in considerate relationships. Again, if you disagree then establish the case by sound empirical work, not by spinning a narrative.
2
I think we have all just become so used to his behavior, language, antics that we've just tuned it all out. Can you imagine that?
I am old enough to remember that Nelson Rockefeller was deemed unelectable and therefore could not be nominated for president because he was divorced and remarried. Horrors! Have things deteriorated that much in my lifetime? I'm afraid the answer is, "You bet your life, they have!!"
Things weren't perfect back then - but I think our elected leaders were held to a higher moral standard than what we have now.
4
Much of the current acrimony and strife in relations between the sexes flows from one major flaw in the progress made since WWII to repudiate and demolish millennia of patriarchal norms.
Intent on liberating themselves from the control of their parents and husbands, envious of the sexual freedom enjoyed by their male counterparts, women bought into the notion that male and female sexuality are one and the same. Women fought for and largely won the same sexual freedom that men had, including open participation in pornography, only to find that living out male-pattern sexual licence leaves them unsatisfied, even embittered. Yes, women enjoy sexual freedom, but in its exercise they need to be loved.
Trump’s grotesque ascension to the presidency, a pornocratic cartoon showing how transactional and loveless our society has become, is galvanizing women to demand better both politically and personally. To succeed they are going to have to honor the vital differences between male and female sexuality while at the same time resisting the temptation in their anger and disappointment to cast men as enemies from whom they need protection and instead recognizing men as the essential allies with whom they need to communicate as honestly and forthrightly as possible.
[18.0116:1412]
1
Consensual sex should be OK between any two or more people as long as there are no legal reasons for the opposite such as not being of age of consent. However, nondisclosure agreements shouldn’t be approved in case of nonconsensual sex. In particular, Trump’s consensual sex life is nobody’s business (although his wife can punish him for it) but the public has the right to know all the nonconsensual cases. It appears that quite a few ladies were paid off to remain silent.
3
The check didn't bounce! That's the only news in this Trump tale.
Can we now move on to reporting what effects most of us? The tax breaks for anyone wealthy enough to put away a stash of cash and send their tikes off to private K - 12? Nanny write offs for the wealthy? Oil Rigs off every coast that isn't Florida's ? The Russia investigation? How working class Americans will get hosed by Trump Tax changes? The joke on those people waving flags outside of Mar a Lago as if DACA kids were the enemy?
15
This sort of makes anyone who rushed to the judgment that Al Franken had to resign immediately look a bit hasty, doesn't it, Michelle?
44
Let's make a deal. No man should be castigated or publicly shamed for cheating on his wife as long as all lawmakers don't interfere with a woman's right to choose. The only time we should punish men is when there is rape, or assault and/or payoffs made with taxpayer money. The same thing should be true of abortions. Just don't use taxpayer money. Most women don't because they are either on employer health insurance, college health insurance or their daddy's allowance. Poor women and girls are the only ones that should be able to get abortions at will as long as they have to pay for it themselves. That may make them think twice about the economics of getting pregnant because they didn't use contraception. They should only get public assistance if there was rape or their health or their baby's health is at risk. Let's make it a moral TABOO to judge other people's sex lives unless we want to go back to the Dark Ages which was ruled by celibate clerks, who also cheated on God.
4
Forgot one thing. Planned Parenthood provides abortions with money from donations, not taxpayer dollars. They use any money gotten from government for other exams, treatments, & contraception for women. Can’t be against both abortion & contraception. That shows you up to being a nasty, hateful, rich person. Who wants low income babies to be born in the millions to do the dirty, nasty work the rich want done. So, until you will clean public toilets with no rubber glove, facemasks, & just a sponge & toxic chemicals, don’t deny low income women contraception. Question for you: if you had just enough money to 1. Feed your kids. Or 2. Buy full price contraception. Which would you choose? Only choice. Oh & you also feel married women, do not have the right to say no. They must ‘service’ their husbands on demand. To keep low income men from heading uptown to rape upperclass women, which is what you believe they will do. Right? Pitiful.
3
Katrina. You seem to know little about human behavior, sex, contraception or abortion. And yet you are quick to preach. You do not have the right to dictate the lives of others. If you want to teach join Planned Parenthood.
1
Baloney. He parades around as if a sanctimonious evangelical and is plagued by sex scandals a mere month before the election, not to mention that disgusting Access Hollywood cheating admission. He's creepy and keep your daughters away. Advocate for what you want, but not in manner that exonerates this predator.
Anytime a situation like this surfaces, I substitute the name Obama for Trump. Would the reaction to this type of thing be different?
17
I *think* Socrates has taken JB's point the wrong way; totally the opposite (as I read it).
7
Of all the travesty conducted by this sitting POTUS, this is among the least of concerns. No one was harmed. And I doubt his third wife cares much given that she knows his history when marrying him.
When it comes to family value, politicians both parties have plenty of counter examples when hormones overcome brains.
Why should we care at all?
5
We should care because it shows that the man sitting in our highest office is dishonest, devoid of decency, lacking in judgement and holds in contempt those closest to him. Clinton's affair(s) validated my decision not to vote for him in 1992 & 96; Trump's life made it impossible for me to conceive of ever supporting him for anything.
1
Jane Doe.
Avi, you don't have a problem with a major presidential candidate, a week before the election, paying a porn star $130,000 hush money to silence her? Sad! How much lower must our standards go, to protect this monster?
And yet religious conservatives still consider this man worthy of their admiration. It just proves, again, how deeply corrupt their values and this administration are.
26
Maybe it means that religious conservative men share a lot in common with Trump and their wives who are very familiar with the behavior accept it as it is their role to forgive and accept. I can think of no other excuse, can anyone else?
Ever since Second Wave Feminism came along and asserted that women were just like men Feminism has been unable to think clearly who it represents and what it believes.
5
Just like men? I think not. Have the same rights as men? I think so.
Baloney. He dallied with a porn "actress" just before the election. Having "survived" the Access Hollywood video where he bragged about his exploits.
Don't use your 50's era thinking to blame women for this latest scandal of this so-called president. We women know exactly what we know and believe.
Mark me down as offended by your comment.
A wonderful, twisty, and luminous essay. Thank you Michele Goldberg.
Far from being "hardheaded moral realists," Republican supporters of Trump who shrug at his many violations of moral norms are moral relativists. They seem not to recognize objective standards of right and wrong, and ignore moral facts in order to sanction his erratic acts, which a moral realist cannot.
A "hardheaded moral realist" would say there is a right and a wrong, that statements such as marital fidelity is good, compassion is good, and honesty (looking at you, too, Secretary Nielsen) is bad express propositions that are true or false. A hardheaded moral realist would say the equivocating apologists bend the rules of logic and ignore moral facts. They are morally compromised.
The equivocating apologists may be called hardheaded realists, or hardhearted realists, but they cannot be called hardheaded moral realists.
6
Is it that people have become so desensitized to sensationalism that they need more and more like a drug? For some trumpsters, Trump fulfills this addiction. Fox News, Breitbart, InfoWars, Rush Limbaugh. The Trump presidency is like a never ending, bad, dangerous drama. If only people would fill their lives with more meaningful activities than watching and listening to this "noise," maybe we could get down to understanding the real issues this country faces, like the rising tide of authoritarianism.
10
"... trying to impose new norms of consideration on a brutal sexual culture, without appealing to religious sanction or patriarchal chivalry." Substituting feminist rage doesn't seem like much of an improvement. The world is receptive to your words, ladies; dialogue and understanding on the part of all concerned might prove helpful.
2
I have a teenage son. I recall pumping up the courage to ask a girl out, and the intracies of a first kiss. My son, and -- if the Michelle Goldbergs of the world, so eager to prosecute, would just stop and consider -- his potential girlfriends as well, are now going to have a nearly impossible time, in effect re-inventing human relationships. Of course sexual predation is a crime. OF COURSE! But confusion, naivete, rejection and disappointment shouldn't be.
I assume, going forward, that such encounters will occur only in a doctor's office, accompanied by attorneys representing both sides.
4
@Geraldine Bird, you wrote: "You may think it's impudent for a non-citizen to write possibly my thousandth comment about djt..." No, it's right on the mark. We need to hear from the rest of the world what they think of this loathsome creature who is temporarily inhabiting the Oval Office. Our world is smaller and flatter than in the past, and we are all citizens. Also, it reminds us Americans that others share, at least somewhat, in our suffering.
Now, go back to bed, and pleasant dreams. Thank you.
9
I totally agree!
"But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers ‘normal’ sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.” This is a true statement and it is perfectly reasonable to want this to change. But is it reasonable to make public accusations when the behavior doesn't rise to the level of harassment as seems to be the case regarding Mr. Anzari, and the effect is possibly career and reputational destruction? Do we want to live in a society where every bad date is a news story? Is there not a better way to improve our dating behaviors without being ready to go nuclear in response to the most minor bad conduct?
5
I'm just so disgusted I can barely stand it.
12
Linda: Disgusted at what? Men who ask for some kind of a sexual encounter, or women who when it doesn’t end up being as good as your favorite fantasy, screams ABUSE!
Men can ask. Women can say no, & if he continues to ask, can leave. Every female child should be given martial arts defense training, so they can say no without fear. Or maybe training in the use of firearms. Or both. An adult woman should have the strength of body & mind to take care of herself. This is one ‘Just Say No’ that should work. On every date a woman should know where she is going & have the money on her to get home, & know how to do it. If it is with a new man, she should think seriously of either driving herself, or in big cities, taking public transportation to where the man will be. If she doesn’t like the neighborhood when told, she can say no, I don’t go there. If a woman can’t take care of herself, she shouldn’t be going out at all, let alone with a strange male.
It’s good to be reminded of prominent Republicans who never tired of giving lectures on morality to the likes of Bill Clinton, but who in the Age of Trump studiously maintain radio silence.
Thanks to Michelle Goldberg for reminding us of William Bennett, author of “The Book of Virtues”, oh, and a compulsive gambler.
19
Reason we see such silence from the Right and its allies is thus: Trump gave the Christian Right a seat at the table. Trump gave voice to white supremacists and nationalists among his base. Trump allows talking heads on Fox News to shape his foreign and domestic policy. With all that in place they wont call him out on his past infidelities from sexual affairs to sexual predation. Even the rank and file among his base are blinded by his wealth, skin color, and his beautiful family to care. Even his own wife wont call him out because she made a business decision to marry Donald Trump. Trump will not be the first or last president to have extramarital affairs.
6
Powerful men having affairs is just not a big deal to republican women who are among trumps most loyal supporters. And the press looks a bit silly hyperventilating over it. THe bar is set pretty low thanks to bill anyway.
3
They need to quit telling the rest of American women what to do- About Anything. They are not qualified.
Disagree with you---Trump has aligned himself with evangelicals, and his behavior is antithetical to what you'd think these people would value or disdain.
Three marriages, five kids to three different wives, the Access Hollywood audio and video right before the election where he described himself as a predator, and paying a porn star a month before the election? He looks like a fish out of water in church, couldn't name a favorite bible verse, treats his family as if they are nothing burgers. Ever see him hug his kid?
The press SHOULD hyperventilate. He's a full blown hypoocrite.
As far as I know paying for sex is illegal in this country outside of Nevada - whether or not the payment is made before or after the act. Maybe not a "high crime" but certainly a "misdemeanor." Impeach now!
14
Does anybody believe Russian intelligence was not also aware of these one hundred plus two women whom Trump paid off? What good would it have done to pay the women, if Trump had not also paid off or made promises to the Kremlin? Compromising material of this kind is the bread and butter of Russian intelligence. Mr. Mueller, please follow this lead!
9
"...pitting a sexually libertarian left against an aggressively prudish right."
Hypocritically prudish--i.e. prudish in word but not deed. Failing to practice what they preach because they don't believe it.
But when caught, they confess that their flesh too is weak, and beg for forgiveness--which the party faithful grant.
Neat--they cover all bases. They can castigate OTHERS for weak flesh AND get forgiven for THEIR weak flesh.
Foucault (L'Histoire de la sexualité) noticed that Christendom condemned lust as a deadly sin; but condemning lust was big business and good entertainment. Thus all the lust-sins of the Church--from popes to priests.
3
Evidently, blackmailing Big-time tail-chasers like Trump has become a well-paying Business, Now that these payoffs have become so public and common, the price will be going down. Where is the shame and shock anymore?
3
Patton Oswalt's comment regarding Trump's lawyer paying the actress hush money was that she was the first subcontractor that he actually paid what was owed.
11
Ah for the days when we were taken aback to hear Jimmy Carter confess he has had lust in his heart. Watching the Carters relate to one another confirmed that that lust was well under control. That Jimmy and Rosalind care deeply for each other has always been obvious.
Perhaps the focus on sex is not how we should look at Trump's relationships with women, especially his wife. I watched a short video on Trevor Noah's show, where Trump is walking "with" Melania from the helicopter across a lawn. I re-ran it several times. He has a vice grip on her hand, with an angry look on his face, and clearly pushing downward, as he pulls her up next to him, the way I've seen parents move a wayward child forward, is telling. She looks distressed. In fact that she rarely looks happy or content. Frankly, she almost always looks pretty miserable. No wonder she frequently lags behind him.
Do we ever see pictures of them together looking comfortable? Looking like they actually like each other? Is her smile ever not forced? She frequently looks like she will shatter if she even moves. It seems to me that she is more window dressing than happy, loving wife.
We need to pay attention to this behavior, not whatever goes on or whether Trump has bedded other women, something we all know. Most of us agree, his bragging copiously about his power to do whatever he wishes with women is disgusting. How much longer will we continue to tolerate this man?
10
According to Michael Wolff’s book “Fire and Fury” they were living separately lives at Trump Tower, rarely saw one another, until he became president, and he didn’t even interact with his young son Barron very much. He didn’t expect to win and she was very unhappy he won because it would wreck her life and that of their son who she is very much devoted to. Even in the White House they have separate bedrooms and live apart, don’t eat meals together, etc. He considers her and openly calls her his trophy wife. She has been forced into this impossible situation of First Lady given their relationship and has to make appearances. It’s hard not to feel sorry for how he treats her and Barron.
1
I understand the selective use of William J. Bennett's words on infidelity to underscore the hypocrisy of those who support DT.
But Bennett disqualified himself as a source when, after publishing The Book of Virtues, it was revealed he had a chronic, uncontrollable gambling problem.
His excuse? I'm not hurting anyone.
Done with Bennett. Done with Gingrich. Done with outed hypocrites.
30
How about done with one sided propaganda.
"I went on a date with a famous person & didn't like the sex" is a ridiculous complaint.
Grace, described as a "young photographer," seems pretty inexperienced. clueless, & foolishly judgmental. Anyone who has sexual relations with relative strangers is in for a surprise, often an unpleasant one. If you want to increase your odds for a pleasing sexual experience, choose a partner whom you like & who seems to like you. You'll accommodate each other to the extent each of you is willing, & you'll each respect the other's limitations.
31
Yes! I thought the same. He didn’t know what her nonverbal cues meant because he didn’t know her!
6
Also don’t jump into bed with someone on the first or second date. Get to know them first and become friends first unless you are just in it for the sex, in which case be prepared to be disappointed after it’s over. There’s a reason it’s called casual sex or a one night stand.
2
I cannot help but wonder: Were Stephanie Clifford to declare this income on her taxes, what kind of income would she call it?
18
Which raises several interesting questions. Did she declare it? And did Mr. Trump indicate the payment on his own tax forms? If they did not declare it, or did not honestly describe it, then were any tax laws broken?
24
self employment income? a gift? there also is another line for other income, i.e.payoffs.
Even if the payment-for-sex was illegal in the jurisdiction where it went down, Trump for sure will deduct it as a cost of doing the business of getting elected.
‘While embezzlers, thieves, and the like are forced to report their ill-gotten gains as income for tax purposes, they may also take deductions for costs relating to criminal activity. For example, in Commissioner v. Tellier, a taxpayer was found guilty of engaging in business activities that violated the Securities Act of 1933.[8] The taxpayer subsequently tried to deduct from his gross income the legal fees he spent while defending himself.[9] The U.S. Supreme Court held that the taxpayer was allowed to deduct the legal fees from his gross income because they meet the requirements of §162(a),[10] which allows the taxpayer to deduct all the “ordinary and necessary expenses paid or incurred during the taxable year in carrying on a trade or business.”[11]’
I wonder what the pre-nup states?
7
Many women (men as well) in porn are victims of childhood sexual abuse. To disrespect them by using their bodies for sex amplifies the original injury. Trump could care less about the damaging effects of his behavior on others. Self-gratification is his natural bent from the moment he rises out of bed. He sleeps very little because dreams often have narratives that are contrary to what he wants.
8
The profound difference between any sexual dalliance of Bill Clinton and Donald Trump is that there was in all likelihood a smidgen of Bill's DNA deposited on the carpet or the furniture in the Oval Office. Liberals are so quick to forget and amnesiac about that significant fact. There is no evidence and there have been no allegations or complaints, statements or incidental indications that Donald Trump has had sex with any of his staff members, or prostitutes, while serving as commander in chief after his election.
5
I have to laugh when Trump's Holy Roller fundamentalist pastors/enablers are asked about the misdeeds of a man who is the living and breathing example of the Seven Deadly Sins and they excuse him as a "Baby Christian". Wrong. My three year old cousin is a "Baby Christian", Trump is just a baby, and one that has been spoiled rotten.
31
They enable and give him a pass because they believe he will enact their agenda. They trade in their morality for access to power.
12
Feminists won't want to admit this, but the reality is that "sexual liberation" has only hurt women in every way.
1
Speak for yourself. I'm just fine and refuse to let right wing, faux Christian politicians have any say over my body and what I do with it.
3
"If it turns out there were payoffs to hide non-consensual behavior, there may be an uproar." Ms. Goldberg, I doubt it. Why? Because, in the same sentence, you write "That’s what everyone expects of this president."
Donald Trump is less a president than he is a libertine. The nexus of this sewer that is the Trump presidency is the indifference of the Republican Party which has accepted this immoral behavior and its presidential execution. Perhaps it's a necessary (and desperate?) part of their diversionary tactics to draw attention away from the Russia probes. But now, the moral stench and rot of the party has devalued whatever fearful currency that once attached itself to the GOP, particularly in matters in which lust played its hot role.
Bill Clinton's sin with Monica Lewinsky was that he was both seducer and liar. His word could no longer be trusted and his partisan message blunted. Now compare and contrast that Republican outrage then, 20 years ago, with the acquiescence of the GOP with their president. He has long been known to be aggressively on the other side of the truth, yet, as Shakespeare wrote, they bind themselves to him "with hoops of steel." They don't care that he has disgraced his wife. They don't care that he has disgraced family. They don't care that he has disgraced his party. They don't care that he has disgraced America. They have in place the perfect tool, the puppet, who will be animated by the pulls on the strings by the Koch Bottles, etc.
Sex? Ha!
14
Please the attitude of the phony holier than thou Evangelicals that support Trump is “Morality for thee not for me.” Their embrace of Jesus is so they can spend their lives judging others not living by some moral code. In fact, with their devotion to greed, bigotry and intolerance, Evangelicals are probably the most immoral people in the US.
29
I think men should just abandon women and all go Gay. They would certainly have less of an issue trying to figure us out.
3
Adultery and the subsequent lying are solid reasons for Mr. Trump to step down.
8
I'm not a Trump fan.
But Bill Clinton was the ultimate Sleaze-in-Chief, getting sexually serviced in the Oval Office. That's just how classless he was. Hillary, with no self-respect and hungry for greed and power, decided - instead of leaving him - to ride his coattails to a Senate Seat in NY. After all, she owed him.
Lyndon Johnson and John F. Kennedy were both known for their sexual appetites and extramarital sexual escapades in the White House.
This thing about Trump - if it even happened - was long ago and did not happen in the White House with an intern young enough to be his daughter. That's the difference.
He's 70 years old. He's had a sex life...like every other male in the U.S. As long as it was consensual and his wife allowed it (according to rumors, she accorded him some freedom during her pregnancy), I really don't see what business it is of ours.
Let's stay focused on the issues, please. His recent comments about third world countries was appalling. Let's go after him for things that matter.
5
The $130,000 payment was only one month before the election— so, this is not nearly the old news that these defenses of Trump are claiming it is. Also, as someone else mentioned, how was this listed (or not listed) on Ms Clifford’s tax returns?
10
"A man's gotta have his bling and floozies."
-- Bender, on "Futurama"
(Bender was a clear-eyed realist, who, if he weren't a cartoon robot living in the future, would probably have calmly accepted the behavior of Wild Bill Clinton and DJ "Let's get this party started" Trump.)
4
Can we please stop equating Trump to Bill Clinton? Bill Clinton had consensual affairs with adult women w/o need to pay hush money (other than to his wife, perhaps). I am of the mind that, because it was consensual, Trump's dalliances with porn stars are none of my business, only Melania's, just as I felt Bill Clinton's affairs were none of my business and had no bearing on what kind of president he'd be. Powerful men have had mistresses forever.
But to equate affairs with porn stars and paying them off, not to mention Trump being heard admitting to serial sexual assault of women, including one of those adult film actresses, and Trump's relentless verbal and vulgar attacks on women, with Bill Clinton having had two consensual affairs, is reckless and it completely waters down Trump's behavior by jacking up Clinton's.
19
In today's piece, Michelle Goldberg says, "Still, I can sympathize with the younger feminists who are pushing the limits of the #MeToo movement. They are, it seems to me, trying to impose new norms of consideration on a brutal sexual culture, without appealing to religious sanction or patriarchal chivalry." I agree, and further I agree that new norms must be adopted for that very reason, we have a brutal culture. Perhaps the appeal should be made a wider one, for democracy's sake, by including a thought from Thomas Mann, “The Coming Victory of Democracy,” 1938, as quoted by David Brooks, in his column on the 14th. Original sin “is the deep feeling of man [i.e., mankind] as a spiritual being for his natural infirmities and limitations, above which he raises himself through spirit.” No religious sanction or patriarchal chivalry required.
3
Kennedy shared girlfriends with his fathers mob friends and indulged in drug fueled sex acts. Clinton was clearly an abuser who had the backing of his wife. What did we hear from progressives? It is just sex! Trump has conformed to progressive moral standards. The bed has been made, sleep in it.
4
One difference: the AMerican public, voters, didn't learn of Kennedy's actions until well aftere the fact. Re clincon and trump, we know what they were like before the elections.
Do ya think the Trump base might begin to even reconsider their loyalties if Trump were to be caught in flagrante delicto with Mike Pence? Right now, nothing would surprise me.
6
What better way to make America great again than with three value payments of $43,333 to a prostitute named Story Daniels to keep her mouth shut so that she won't ruin Trump's deeply committed marriage and derail his much-heralded run for the Oval Office?
13
Women need to get over the idea that if they're nice, and behave themselves men will respect that. Men, will always, be sexually oriented and perhaps behave badly if given the opportunity. It is up to Women to set the standard of what is acceptable. If you as a woman aren't up to standing up for yourself and screaming at the top of your lungs because you fear that you'll be making a scene, then you need to rethink who you are as a human being.
3
However we got to what this column dances around, namely, “political porn,” I must say it’s a marvelous metaphor, allowing awareness of a whole range of behavior that the country formerly lumped under the label “private.” But we need a better understanding of what it is. Compromise, for example, is not generally degrading. Denying Obama his Supreme Court appointment was degrading. The latter was porn politics. That our politics is so “stormy” today may well be a good sign that we’re becoming better at understanding what’s going on—as distinct from a Wilbur Mills era when we too often didn’t want to know what was going on. Trump is making us aware of porn politics—self-interested degradation—by example.
2
The double-standards & hypocrisy are always astounding.
The marionettes of the 'moral majority' will stop at nothing to raise ire & outrage among their rabidly radicalized cohort against what they're told to despise, while 'forgiving' the 'flawed Christians' who do far worse.
The Democrats in their misguided snow-flakery impotent efforts to claim some moral high ground, are forever eating their own.
We desperately needed Eliot Spitzer just when some consentual 'scandal' that was no more outrageous than any of Trump's typical pitstops at the 9th hole every weekend for half a century. Forcing out Franken for a flubbed comic photo-op was pure folly.
Democrats are systemically unprepared to fight the foe they face in the radicalized red-state right. They have failed to defend the republic against deceptive, hostile, lying, propagandizing racist reactionary regression.
And as long as Trump's market-bubble makes them money, democrats will continue to be Dinos, Linos, Pinos, effete fakes.
4
Why do you think he stays at Mar-a-Lago every weekend? These gals are probably being shuttled up and down his back steps every night.
10
I believe the reason this report elicits just a shrug from many is that it is one of many outrages on the spectrum of fantastical outrages. The outrage for me - more of a haunting concern is the low level of standards that is now acceptable to run for public office of any sort and especially the highest office. Threatening a democracy is nothing to shrug about.
3
Bill Bennett (who clearly has outlived his principals) says conservatives who won't support Trump “suffer from a terrible case of moral superiority and put their own vanity and taste above the interest of the country.”
http://www.nationalreview.com/corner/439360/bill-bennett-donald-trump-wrong
3
During the republican convention during the election run analysis was done from internet servers in the area during that period. Porn usage was off the charts.
Porn and republicans apparently go together. Big money in both. Who do you vote for republicans of course.
6
The left's indifference to Bill Clinton's actions, which involved a subordinate while President, set the thumb on the scale for moral equivalence. Sexual proclivities are now a non-issue for Republicans, and if the left brings them up, it's hypocritical.
This kind of tit-for-tat bar lowering of politicians is the simplest answer why we're here. Now all that remains is we get the policies we want and nothing else matters. Reap the whirlwind you've sown.
3
As a strong Democrat and Catholic feminist—yes, we exist—I found Bill Clinton’s exploitation of a young intern absolutely repulsive. His behavior and the subsequent political fallout resulted in irreparable damage to Al Gore’s presidential race.
What feminists so long have battled for is an end to sexual double standards for women as opposed to men. What we do work for is the establishment of respect for personal boundaries. This is where Mr. Trump’s behavior with respect to women is clearly deficient. So the question of sex workers demanding cash for silence is actually interesting from a national security standpoint.
The dossier and now those familiar with Mr. Trump’s personal behavior are suggesting that Mr. Trump is susceptible to Russian blackmail and his own obsequious behavior towards Mr. Putin suggests they are right.
As for the so-called “religious” right who defend man without a moral compass, there’s your answer regarding the depth of their “moral” beliefs.
11
Hmmm. We have " a hundred women" that lawyer Kasowitz took care of? Besides being paid to keep silent, how many of these women, I wonder, had their abortions paid for. We'll never know, but all the "pro life" voters still stand behind this evil man.
9
One has to wonder about the Lawyer who arranged to put the non-disclosure agreement in place and the wording of the actual agreement? Does the agreement list specific acts that cannot be discussed? It must read like a "Dear Penthouse" letter. I cannot imagine that as a Lawyer arranging for "hush" money for this type of behavior/activity can be very satisfying.
1
With MLK Day past, It looks like the DEFCON 10 racial outrage over the President’s description of certain “problematic” countries has now pivoted on schedule to sexual assault and harassment to coincide with the Women’s March next weekend. I fully expect a growing crescendo of emotional, fact-lite stories linking President Trump to every sexual harassment story generated over the past 50 years. Stay tuned.
Congratulations to Michelle Goldberg for being the first out of the gate.
3
There is propriety.... and there is law
1
What's so striking about these narratives is the stark difference in how such encounters are experienced. Women describe the experience in terms of disconnection: of feeling attacked, their sentiments and desires ignored, while men are simply pursuing an erotic object with zero evidence of emotional attachment or loving connection of any kind.
Otherwise I agree with Michelle Goldberg that this behavior does not rise to the level of assault and that "Babe" was imprudent in publishing this story. Yet I also sympathize with younger feminists who are struggling to understand the scope of not only the #MeToo movement but to identify the deep reach of patriarchal norms and how to change them.
3
This is an interesting column and your writing is superb. Since I first read about the "hush" money, I have wondered about the tax treatment of this expense. Is this an allowable legal expense under current tax law? The President's taxes are a black hole but I think treating this kind of expense as a legal one under current tax law encourages the kind of behavior that is being highly publicized.
1
Trump would have made FDR and JFK proud considering their out in the open marital affairs; and yes, JFK's love interest, Marylin Monroe, was no girl scout, having posed for Playboy probably more than once.
I hope the White House physician tested Trump for sexually transmitted infections. For Melania’s sake, though some are known to affect central nervous system and cause dementia - so maybe for our sake too.
1
“But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers ‘normal’ sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.”
American woman are a huge waste of time. Mostly entitled, stuck up, thinking they are better than men, and many come with some weird twisted puritan thing going on.
Go get a passport, travel the world, you will see what I am talking about within a month or so.
Trump has repeatedly betrayed his marriage vows to three different women.
If he has affairs behind the back of a woman that he loves (theoretically) most in this world, why does the gop and his base continue to believe that he won't betray them also? Especially the pious out there that see no fault in him after he consistently does things that go against his promises and their so-called religious beliefs.
His approval rating is at 33%... 33 people out of 100 believe he's doing a good job. This is more frightening than anything else. Sticking with the sexual theme, perhaps we have a greater number of masochists in this country than we realize. It certainly seems that masochism (and hypocrisy) is alive and well in the gop... especially in congress and Trump supporters.
5
I'm a liberal and I think I can work up some moral outrage pretty easily.
3
As for "other encounters Trump has covered up," I wonder how much it's costing him to keep DNA evidence of paternity buried under reams of non-disclosure injunctions. And this is an ongoing expense, not merely a collection of one-time payoffs.
4
Trump is nothing more than a modern day "robber baron" walking the planet with enough money, fame, and low moral character as to feel untouchable and thus feeding on the marginal in society or those also with low fortitude as to make a buck. Interesting his son is named Barron - perhaps a nod to the original?
5
Teflon Don, that's Trump alright. He'll get away with this along with his other transgressions. Just another day in Trumpland.
2
“A lot of men will read that post about Aziz Ansari and see an everyday, reasonable sexual interaction,” tweeted the feminist writer Jessica Valenti. “But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers ‘normal’ sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.”
Could you be a little bit more specific? Isn't your sweeping breezy statement precisely the type of unhelpfully vague moralism that many commenters are pointing to that caused the Ansari imbroglio to become controversial? What "normal" sexual encounters would you want to be as part of this conversation? Isn't clearer communication the point?
3
We need to create new words to express the level of extreme disgust
with Donald Trump.
5
Is this the same Bill Bennet who as Secretary of Education declared ketchup to be a vegetable?
4
What I am appalled of is the fact that this is becoming so normal behavior from this man that we are getting desensitized by the erosion of honesty and ethics from all these people who claim thy are only working for us. And the worse of all lots of women don't seem to get tis. Maybe it has to do with the low auto self-esteem that blind them all.... Shameless people.
2
Clear non-verbal ques? Is that like mind reading? If you are so ashamed of sexuality that you cannot converse like an adult you should consider that you may be controlled by a cult.
I seriously doubt feminists are truly about an honest discussion of sexuality. It seems more like they are just doing some sex shaming. It's an old tool, used by cults for many millennia. It is almost exactly what a priest or a GOP politician might do (in normal times).
Many of us are unable to read minds and if everyone has a child's version of reality that includes magical communication abilities it is nearly impossible to know anything real.
It will be extremely difficult for women to manipulate as they typically do if open and honest discussions of sexuality occur. The "mystery" is simply a tool of manipulation.
Well said. What has destroyed the playing field is electronic social media. Too easy to post material (true or false) that can get to too many people too fast. Genies out of the bottle. Only solution, if you go on a date he/she has to sign a non disclosure agreement. Make sure all levels of contact (hand holding/ kiss on the cheek all the way to porn level acrobatics) are covered. Makes spontaneous behavior a thing of the past but might get rid of the problems we face.
1
So ironic that Bill Clinton was impeached for an apparently consensual sexual act by the Republicans. 25 years later they stand idly by as their president demeans the office, and shreds the constitution on a daily basis. God help us.
10
Unfortunately Bill Clinton set both parties back decades. His corrupt wife stood by her man and castigated the women who accused him. He regretfully set the stage for this vile man to become president. No one wins in this.
3
I'm way too old for these nuances. In my day, one didn't have sex before at least being engaged. That kept things pretty simple.
3
"Liberals, in general, can’t work up much outrage"...No they are too busy cannibalizing their own, e.g., Al Franken.
1
With a total creep for President, we are all being dragged down to new levels of degradation. Above all else, what kind of man is out carousing with porn stars and hookers while his young wife is at home caring for their newborn son? It wasn't that long ago a divorced man could not even consider running for President. With the new standards set by Trump's Republican supporters in Congress, the devil himself could lead their party if he's willing to work in the White House a minimum of eight hours per week and will sign any documents placed before him. Additional provisions in such an unholy alliance would allow a demonic President to slander, insult or cast out any humans individually or by ethnic, religious or political group. Total disregard for the safety of the human race would also be fine, as would removing any social safety nets regarding impoverishment, health, education or the well-being of the environment. After all, its not as if these lines haven't already been crossed.
6
So I guess it's not just Fox News Trump is watching on those big screens in his bedroom at the white house. That's a mental picture I can do without.
5
Trump's new found opposition to abortion rights is hilarious. I bet he's paid for dozens of them.
5
Continuing on that Trump as trustee for Wendi and Ruperts' kidz theme...that can get ugly.
When Mary Duke tossed out her husband for cheating on her with Aunt Peggy, she still had to endure his seat on her sister Doris' trust board. Biddle still got to fiddle with the Duke family's properties!
So imagine what trustee front men like Trump can get up to using family trusts to keep things low down. Murdoch leaked word of Tony and Wendi spending the night together. He also enjoyed leaking medical data on PM's children.
Can't wait for summer. Murdoch always blows something up to raise sales in the dullest of doldrums.
1
So in 2016, the president's team ensures another scandal involving sex does not emerge, as a woman is paid for her silence and promises of non-disclosure. Which would explain her alleged letter of denial.
And in 2016, a leaked audio tape has GOP's Kevin McCarthy saying Putin pays Trump, swear to God. Paul Ryan tells the room to be quiet: "No leaks. ... This is how we know we’re a real family here."
So this week, McCarthy becomes Trump's latest protective sidekick, bearing gifts of cheap candy. McCarthy revealed in 2015 the GOP's Benghazi special committee was their political stunt to destroy the Clinton candidacy to elect a Republican.
And as author David Frum writes in his new book: "A president beholden to Russia had been installed in the Oval Office: the most successful foreign espionage attempt against the United States in the nation’s history. And from beginning to end, the president’s political party rallied to protect him — and itself — from investigation, exposure, and consequences.”
6
The Republican view of sex is obvious--just look at the barrage of all-white-male GOP politicians in photos from any executive order signing. This is no accident. Minority males are not invited into the "white boys' club," nor are women. They have to learn their place, which isn't in the White House or Congress. Meanwhile, the GOP males in Congress look enviously at Trump's sordid little porn star affair and wish they could have one, too.
3
Right wing ideologues are okay with Trump or any man paying hush money to cover up trysts with porn stars or even prostitutes, but God forbid women should be allowed to make decisions about their reproductive health. In their Handmaid’s Tale-like view of the world, womens’ bodies are exclusively for men’s pleasure and for making babies.
6
If it was consensual, why pay 130k to hush it up?
5
Is anyone surprised? At all?
4
With respect to Trump and the Porn Star...wouldn't be the first time something like this surfaced with respect to a US President.
I would be the last person to want to defend Trump's behavior in any respect -
but to suggest consistency in behavior : wasn't the book and subsequent movie, "Primary Colors" about another president's indiscretions before he took office - in similar terms? And didn't it evoke the same collective yawn?
In this one respect - the public has already shown its (unfortunate) indifference.
I think it's the hush money and the reluctance of the press to report this during the election that is the problem.
It delegitimizes the election if it was bought with hush money and media bias.
2
"But sleeping with a porn star while your wife has a new baby, then paying the porn star to be quiet? That’s what everyone expects of this president."
Can anybody imagine the outcry from the right if President Obama did something like that? He would be impeached in no time and Republicans would use the scandal as an example of liberal moral failure for decades to come.
Yet, under Trump this isn't even the top scandal of the week and will be forgotten by the next.
5
All I can say is 1099 before he is out!
1
"Welcome back to the Studio". The only question is are we watching 'Mr Trump goes to Washington' to negotiate a "love" bill; or 'Porn Stars of (insert your city)'. If you haven't figured out by now that Trump is a pathological liar you are free to pick and choose the story line from the many options available that suits you (and him at the moment) and blame Democrats for not working with the script. At the end of the series (four seasons? EIGHT?) Trump declares victory and retreats to his gilded tower and golf courses. OR, the Executive Director, Robert Mueller gives Trump the roll he has been perfecting his entire life: The Gilded Fraud. But " When do I get my Emmy?", demands Trump.
2
Hush money, porn stars, shady lawyers, an indifferent president (and fed up electorate), pliant legislature, nepotism, etc.
Interesting that this describes America -- while a casual reader would simply think its just another African country being described. Is that what America has sunk to?
4
Thank you for an essay that actually gets at the nuances here. It would be great if we could get rid of porn culture at last. I don’t understand the impulse of baby boomers to rush in and defend it. Is it so important that the sexual mores of your youth continue for all eternity?
3
The problem seems to be that she decided, finally, the next day that whatever passed between her and Mr. Ansari was unacceptable. I don't hear even a whisper that there was physical coercion, which would change everything.
Just imagine, for a moment, that it was Mr. Ansari who decided the next day he was wished he'd walked out on a female celebrity and then called her out, in detail, publicly, anonymously!
Sigh. This doesn't mean that Mr. Ansari is a true gentleman. I don't know. But if everyone who was unhappy about sex with some guy or some girl wrote a story about it, anonymously, and got it published. Oh boy.
3
Two faced approach to viewing sexual misconduct by a politician. Democrat caught doin' it - very bad. Republican caught doin' it - well that's OK. Throughout time morality never has been looked at objectively, no need to change now.
3
The important point to consider is, why did he have to 'pay off' the porn star or campaign entertainment, to avoid blackmail or embarrassment. Ergo, he can be blackmailed. And what if the activity were not sex, consensual or not, but say, hmm, espionage, a pay-to-play-President with say, hmm, a National Security threat like, ah Russia?
This is the important fact. Our President knows he can be blackmailed. He takes action to avoid it. He caves in other words. Trump's total disregard for any other living being is evident. He has no moral compass, no true North. His illusion of reality is looking in the mirror and seeing a young Robert Redford looking back at him.
5
The history of presidential sexual dalliances is quite a long one that even was used, also unsuccessfully, against Grover Cleveland. What I really hope is happening now with Donald Trump is that women, as in the #MeToo movement, are saying "No" to serial sexual predators and bsnishing them from the public square. It seems that we've reached a real "tipping point" where successful women like Gretchen Carlson and others are courageous and confident enough to say the days of the "boys will be boys" privileged, powerful patrisrchy are over. Let's hope that the good legacy of the Trump era.
1
Trump is the GOP and the White Evangelicals tool. Ethics and morals are immaterial to their desire. They don’t care what he did, said, does, or says as long as they can pursue their agenda.
2
Is anyone surprised that Trump pays off porn stars to keep them quiet about consensual affairs? This is the guy who bragged about grabbing women because he was rich, famous and could get away with it.
Sleaziness isn't illegal and it isn't assault. We can argue - and I do - that it shows a lack of character and judgement, but it doesn't rise to the level of impeachment. It shouldn't have risen to that level back in the 90s either. And that is where people have a right to get angry. Trumpistas busily defend Trump against all sorts of inconvenient truths with excuses like Hillary did it first, or Bill did it, or Obama did. But they forget that they excoriated Hillary, pilloried her, and impeached Bill. Our sleazy guy is OK, yours needs to go.
For women, we need to stick to the point. The porn star is irrelevant (to us: Melania can have an opinion) if the sex was consensual. The women whom he grabbed because he could? That is the story. Women must have the right, under all circumstances, to say no without negative consequences. They can't get killed, beaten, or lose jobs, as examples, because they were unwilling and said so.
We fight for the freedom to say no or yes with impunity. Sleaziness won't go away.
3
Hear, hear, Cathy! This is the best comment on the thread. Thank you!
As far as consensual goes, this liberal finds the fact that our amazing president spent his life cheating on his wife (wives), plenty outrageous. And what is even more outrageous is that fact that so many people voted for this disgusting man. Character matters.
3
Bill Clinton's sexual misadventure with Monica Lewinsky was found after 5-6 years of White Water digging by Republicans using the Special Counsel. When the first one couldn't find anything criminal, Kenneth Star took the helm. He was given tapes of private phone conversations between Lewinsky and her spy-friend, Linda Trip. Trip had lost her job at the W.H. and hated Bill Clinton. Fox News got its start by houding Lewinsky and ruined her. I will never forget the years of scrouging the Republicans did, usng the government like Senator Macarthy did to root out Communists. The Republican party did not care how they got Bill, whether it be a bad check, loan, sex, whatever. Everything was looked at, trashed, and digested. Monica Lewinsky's ruination by Kenneth Star and the media far exceeds anything Bill Clinton did with her. Amid the obsession to get Bill, Susan MacDougal was jailed by Starr for two years. Let's not forget this.
5
Also, Monica was 24 when this happened. SHE pursued Bill & saved the blue dress with her souvenir.
More revenge from someone who was basking in the glow of celebrity...another example of the witch hunt on steroids...
1
Uhh ... the money doesn't lie. If the payment was made, we've all been betrayed.
We're becoming France.
You wish. France has an intelligent, centrist president that speaks better English than Trump and has only been married once. He has disclosed his assets. He is presiding over a country that has universal, high quality healthcare, free universities, heavy investment in early education in poorer areas, gun control, restrictions on lobbying, a credible environmental protection plan, etc.
2
Oui! Merci! I can only WISH that we are becoming France. I am currently learning the language because I may end escaping from here to there!
Moralizing from no lesser "authority" than Bill Benett, an admitted gambling addict.
Different strokes for different folks?
Interesting that MSM like the NYT, not strangers to sexual harassment and assault themselves, are still acting as if they had the right to be judge, jury and executioner in these cases..
What's that phrase about putting your own house in order first?
Trump is a foolish, indulgent man and should not be POTUS. But let's be fair. He is not the first to occupy that office who has practiced reckless and unacceptable behavior. In more recent times, Bill Clinton did so - before, during and, according to some reports, after he left the office.
It's okay to slam Trump, but let's put things in perspective. When Clinton was reelected after Monicagate, and a long, line of extramarital affairs, he set a relaxed standard for the position of the highest office in the world.
Wait. Voters set these standards.
We all knew in the 90's that Republican condemnation of Clinton was utterly hypocritical. Newt Gingrich's reputation for promiscuity long predated his getting bj's from his social-climbing secretary just before going to the House floor to vote for impeachment. William "Book of Virtues" Bennett was a compulsive gambler. Bill Livingston, who loved to rant righteously about Clinton's immorality, had to resign from his new appointment as speaker of the house when his own adultery and promiscuity was exposed. The list goes on and on. When Evangelicals called Trump a "baby Christian" (by way of excusing the fact that he didn't know a single verse of the Bible and had never once displayed Christian principles in his behavior) they didn't tell us something we hadn't already learned from the many sex scandals involving televangelists in the 90s. The spectacle of those Evangelical women laying their jewelry-encrusted hands on that crude old lecher and "blessing" him was one of the most nauseating spectacles of the Trump *presidency.
The public shrugs at Trump's bad behavior toward women. Not so by the way regarding racism. That generates outrage. Then you have too many Republicans swallowing their dignity to shift their view of him, at least in public. 180 degree shift from before the tax cut passed to today. At least with some Rs publicly and most privately. Now they are willing to lie for him (Cotton and Purdue) and cast dispersions on the only Democrat in the room. And this Republican shift toward Trump happens when far more is revealed about what actually goes on in the White House, whether through the Fire and Fury book or information on his meager schedules or fly on the wall reporting from the Thursday immigration Oval Office meeting. Each new detail, each new event adds to the huge preponderance of evidence of Trump's unfitness for anything adult, especially the most important job in the country. When will it finally be enough with the American people? This man is single handedly turning democracy and decorum on its head. This stupid, vacuous, acutely narcissistic, unstable, incoherent, unempathetic jerk. When will it be enough? And how on earth is this country giving him the power to do so?
Serioulsy?
This is a distraction.
I would be more surprised if The Donald was not cavorting with porn stars and hookers.
I am more interested in his tax returns.
Where are they, and what is he hiding ?
No POTUS in modern history has refused.
Why is Congress not subpoenaing them?
Wat do the "tax cuts;so flipped the bird to voters.
This is a distraction.
I would be more surprised if a guy like Trump was NOT cavorting with porn stars and hookers. And I could care less.
I want to know - WHERE ARE THE TAX RETURNS ? AND - WHAT IS HE HIDING?
No POTUS in modern history has ever refused.
"repulsively presidential". that's how Michel ends her piece here. she's refering to sexual behavior of Trump. i'd add that Just about everything surrounding this
person is repulsive. and, its offensive that the country has to keep on tolerating
all that repulsiveness since the "law- makers" don't do their job : speaking out, curbing Trump's grossly unacceptable conduct.
1
Sexual equality on the male level creates a mating battlefield where women get to pretend they are "one of the guys". That this turns out to be unsatisfactory should be an eye opener for anyone who equates feminism with sexual liberation.
Until women control their family names again sex will always put them at a disadvantage. When women pass their family names down to their daughters then we will see sexuality flowing in a natural pattern again.
"The President and the Porn Star" --
Laurence Olivier and Marilyn Monroe must be turning over in their graves. 'The Prince and the Showgirl' movie was a lighthearted fantasy. Trump's escapades are an evil, vulgar reality portrayal of the movie's message. BTW -- If I were Melania I'd be kind of wary of Hope Hicks.
1
The publisher for 'Grace's' story goes by ... Babe?!
What percentage of Millennial women would consider that kind of name calling by a man ... Harassment?
3
This is the guy who spoke at the Boy Scout convention?
3
And who cares and why should I? Presidents have their private sex lives and their spouses have to figure out what they accept or not. Bill Clinton's was accused of rape and Hillary helped him silence the women that spoke out, now THAT is a problem.
There is a word for your phrase "aggressively prudish:" "Puritanical."
1
It doesn't matter who you are. If you become a public personality your open to the tabloids. That's what a free press means. Some of what comes out may be embarrassing and, as we've seen, some can be scandalous if not criminal and SHOULD come out.
Trump is a criminal, a charlatan, a conman, and, as Maxine Waters has said, a truly despicable human being. He is Roy Cohn and Bernie Madoff and John Gotti rolled into one awful enchilada.
Exposing Trump is at the heart and soul of what a true press should be. Clinton deserved, in my opinion, the embarrassment of discovery. I mean, seriously- receiving oral sex in the oval office? I know Trump is not even close to the competency of (either) Clinton, but Bill should have known better for heaven's sake.
Trump is corrupt on so many levels and so damaging that his sexual dalliances pale. The free press must push forward and do what it can to help impeach this disaster and as soon as possible. Never give up.
1
Donald Trump on his billionaire friend and convicted sexual predator/pedophile/registerd sex offender Jeffery Epstein:
“I’ve known Jeff for fifteen years. Terrific guy, he’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side. No doubt about it — Jeffrey enjoys his social life.”
Trump had reportedly attended a number of Epstein's sex parties in 1994, featuring very young, underage girls as sex slaves. A civil suit filed by a girl, age 13 at the time, alleged that Trump violently raped her at one of Epstein's parties. Her suit in California was dropped on a paperwork technicality. Re-filed in NY in 2016, the plaintiff, "Katie Johnson", dropped the lawsuit when threats were made to her life.
Why pay $139K when you can just scare your victim into hiding.
3
Uneven. If you agree with The Atlantic that the Ansari date gone bad is a non-story and certainly no crime, then why did you bring it up especially within to never-ending sleaziness of POTUS? Go interview Melania (who has been suspiciously silent given the alleged pornstar dalliance was only about a year after she married Trump. Can't dismiss this a locker room talk.) And why does the right, which embraces religion and morality, still embrace this guy?
3
I seem to recall that William Bennett had gambling losses in Vegas that were similar to his winnings from his screed of scold.
1
"A lot of men will read that post about Aziz Ansari and see an everyday, reasonable sexual interaction..."
This man does not see that.
Although I do not believe Ansari's actions were criminal because he was pursuing what he believed was a consensual encounter and that Grace bears responsibility for her own unhappiness because she, though free to leave at any moment, nonetheless stayed and engaged in sex, I do believe that Ansari's approach to sex is a typically ugly approach common of people who have consumed way too much porn.
This type of sexual interaction may indeed be an "everyday" occurrence. However it is in no way "reasonable". And importantly, it is not criminal either.
We need to have a serious conversation about the way porn has destroyed people's idea about how to relate to each other sexually, in a way that provides personal fulfillment and strengthens positive relationships. We need that conversation desperately. Criminalizing behavior like Ansari's is not going to get us there. Talking about what is wrong with it might get us started on the right track though. And while we're at it, we need talk about what was wrong with Grace's behavior as well. She has some serious emotional issues that she needs to confront, issues that have to do with self-imposed disempowerment.
In some parts of our country he’s a hero for treating women like dirt.
I am not fooled.
3
I think there is definitive proof that at least white women will vote for louts like Trump and Moore since they did with majorities in their two elections.
And to the extent minorities and Democrats vote against Trump things like the porn star payoff don’t matter. Even if Trump won husband of the year we would still vote for virtually anyone else.
The best we can hope is that some more folks will be motivated to get out and vote where apparently they were too apathetic before.
2
MeToo has rapidly come to mean "I'm inauthentic too." Margot, in that New Yorker story "Cat Person," with whom we're told many young women of the New Yorker-type cultural trope instantly identified, is a well rendered portrait of a lost, schizo-affective girl utterly incapable of experiencing any encounter in the moment, honestly and unselfconsciously. It is emblematic of a kind of plague of emotional anorexia, that young feminist women would embrace Margot as their spirit animal.
Eloi. There seems to be a movement afoot to turn women and gay men into Eloi, while transforming straight men into Morlocks. Meanwhile, we have some sort of Caligula/Jabba-the-Hut hybrid disporting itself on the off-White House lawn as flames leap ever higher.
Me, I'm praying for the ice to hurry up and melt, seas to rise and the tides to rush in to wash all our sins away. As a certain presidential candidate once approximately remarked, it takes an ocean to raze a rotten village.
1
Definitely not easy being a woman. Grace has guts for taking on over eager men that are clueless about women. I have never needed verbal cues from a women, it’s not hard to tell if a girl isn’t into going the whole way on the first date. In fact, I respect a women more for not doing it, which probably makes me a sexist pig ironically. Oh well, I love women and it’s part of the fun but I have never wanted to have sex with a woman who wasn’t just as eager and into it as I. I’m still going to watch his show but it was obvious to me from the first season that this dude is not a ladies man and that’s OK!
Michelle, how does "male heterosexual sexuality" work...I thought heterosexuality was "sexual attraction or sexual behavior between persons of the opposite sex or gender"?
Well sure enough! There's a female at that party, too:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosexuality
"But sleeping with a porn star while your wife has a new baby, then paying the porn star to be quiet? That’s what everyone expects of this president."
Who is "everyone"? Perhaps the 81% of Evangelical Christians who voted for Trump can point us toward Jesus' teachings where He praised this type of behavior.
2
This president is, every new day, revealing himself to be an absolute miserable representative of the male sex. As a racist, mysogenist, liar and narcissistic individual he would be an embarrassment and a disgrace to any family.
A thousand times I have asked myself how such a crass individual could become, and stay, the 'leader' of a country that prides itself on being a democracy, a country where the voice of the so-called ordinary person would be heard. Well, we've seen how he subverted the wishes of the ordinary person in making, and breaking, the promises of his campaign.
When I clicked on the screen to make a comment this evening I stared at the blank box and then exited after some minutes having made none. Then I came back. I'm tired and need to go to bed but came back for another try. It is vital to stay actively naysaying in spite of tiredness, of the weariness and oh not againness reaction to yet another seedy story about this grubby man.
You may think it's impudent for a non-citizen to write possibly my thousandth comment about djt, but as Pink Floyd put it, I want to put another brick of protest in the wall around him, each keystroke is this particular pensioner's protest against allowing his egregious behaviour to go unnoticed. A small thing but mine own. Any advice about doing more to protest from this distance will be welcomed.
318
Impudent? Not at all. Whomever sits in our White House has an out-sized effect upon the world for better, or in Trump's case, the worse. All citizens of this world should be commenting on, and in whatever way they can resisting the cancer that is the Trump Presidency. Encourage your leaders to cut diplomatic and trade ties with the U.S., so long as Trump is POTUS. It's a start...
4
International pressure does make a difference, especially from governments friendly to the U.S. Speak up within Ireland or the U.K. about diplomatic dealing. You can oppose any visit to your country by Trump. You can share the benefits of your country's political / election system with us, so that we may come to our senses and reform ours. Your voice is welcome.
5
Dear Geraldine: Thank you.
1
It just goes to show how incredibly ugly and demeaning the Trump presidency is when a scandal involving Trump paying off a porn star takes a backseat to his racist remarks and other ridiculous rants spewing from Trump's junk-food junkie pie hole. If one were assessing Trump's qualifications to enter this country, I would have more than second thoughts. I view Trump as a clear and present danger to society. In the UK, Britons have petitioned Parliament to have people like Trump, including Trump himself, banned from their nation. And I would agree. Since Republicans have resigned themselves to playing the "good soldier" to their Fuhrer, going so far as to lie for him, a congenital liar, it is incumbent upon not only Dems, Independents and those who abhor Trump to take action. As for foreign countries, I would hope they had some chutzpah and declared Trump persona non grata. We Americans understand. We would not be offended. The inaction by Republicans in Congress is abominable. All we can do is bide our time till November and make sure our anger is expressed peacefully in the polling booth in earnest. Until then, we can only hope this unstable incompetent leader of the Free World is restrained from doing more harm to this nation than he already has.
DD
Manhattan
7
If this incident had happened to any other President, or Congressman, Senator, Governor, General, Head of Federal Agency, etc etc and so on, it would have been a big deal. But it happens to Trump and it gets buried in the Other Stuff that Happened Lately File. He is a daily embarrassment, a daily bad joke, and so anything he does is prioritized accordingly. This porn star thing is the least important scandal he is involved with. But if it had happened to Obama?
10
"Sleeping with a porn star while your wife has a new baby, then paying the porn star to be quiet." Perhaps now we know why Melania was crying after learning that Don J[uan] Trump has won the election, and why her face seems frozen in photos of her travels with the father of that "new baby."
6
Well, Trump married a woman who posed nude cuddled against another nude woman and pinching her own nipple. At least some people might call that pornography. It apparently didn't bother Trump, and he clearly treats Melania like arm candy. The fact of using porn stars and bragging about sexual assault just says to me that Trump has to pay for sex or take it by force. Truly a loser in the romance arena, and a real threat to women who want to be seen as people, not objects.
18
In today's climate Trumps having a consensual romp or a hump with a porn star does not equate with depravity. However, his use of shithole/shithouse in DACA negotiations certainly does.
We have a deranged leader of our country. Someone who is undermining our democracy on a daily bases with threats against the judiciary, the media and any group or individual who dares to disagree with him. That is depravity.
14
The fact is all we can really do is impeach the guy, and everyone knows that's not going to happen. But the public is chomping at the bit to vote the bums out in 2018 and 2020.
10
A big part of the problem, in my view, is the new penchant in the US of levelling accusations without evidence, accusations that might be believed by the person who has redescribed themselves as a victim, but not proven and often impossible to contest. Some of these accusations get actioned, dismissals, organized attacks, without any due process, not a shred of natural justice, complete disregard of rule of law. And so more follow, an avalanche of hatred and malice, maybe grounded, maybe not. The entire moral and legal currency is debased; it all comes down to: well people behave badly, who knows where the truth lies, let's move on. In other words, Trumpism -- evidence, truth, process, justice, accountability all go out the window. So did Trump insult and threaten Africa, Africans and Haitians, or did he assault legions of women? Who knows. Just more waves in the vile sea of he said/she said/tut tut/striking out to wound. The entire culture has turned toxic.
7
#HIMTOO
You cannot write, “I agree with Flanagan that the bad behavior Grace described doesn’t rise to the level of assault or harassment, and I don’t think Babe should have published the story” and then begin the next sentence with “Still… “ without too casually dismissing the wrong done to Aziz Ansari. That “Still…” opens the floodgates to the lack of due process, proportionality, and the right to privacy that defines the shadow side of the #MeToo movement. If #MeToo criminalizes every form of sexual bumbling and misunderstanding because it cannot differentiate them from genuine assault or harassment it will end up reinforcing the sexist stereotypes men have used to corral women for thousands—yup, thousands—of years. And if the response to these words is that they are dismissing assault and harassment when they are really defending due process and proportionality, then that only proves the point. Human beings are complex. Human emotions are complex. Human interactions are complex. Mistakes are inevitable. They happen every minute of every day in all human behaviors. There has to be an emotional border space crafted where mistakes are allowed to be made without being demonized in sexual behaviors as well.
Otherwise, fundamentalism.
9
One month before the 2016 election, Mr. Trump paid a porn star $130,000 not to talk about the fact that they had had a sexual relationship. Before the election, he paid another porn star not to disclose the fact that Trump had offered her $10,000 for sex. All in all, according to Mr. Bannon, the president paid off or otherwise silenced "a hundred women." Add this to what else we know about Trump, namely, that an additional 24 women have accused Trump of sexual assault.
Does this describe a man who should be president? Why was this not made public before the election, so that we could make an informed selection? Don't these activities open up the possibility of blackmail and worse?
11
You (we) knew all we needed to know about DT well before the election. Anyone who claims they were kept in the dark about his character were living on Pluto -- that's not even another "planet" anymore.
Once DT opened his mouth or the least information was provided about him, it took all of two seconds to figure out who he is and how unacceptable he is.
3
The publicly prudish Right and publicly promiscuous Left have switched positions - now it's the Right that's OK with whatever boorish, good-old-boy behavior is revealed of its politicians, comfortably willing to brush off adultery, hiring of prostitutes, flirting/harassment, etc, while the Left is now attempting to micromanage every potential sexual encounter between two adults, equating all sex with rape and preemptively infantilizing women while presuming that men are merely unthinking, unfeeling beasts driven to mate. Trump is the new Clinton, blithely immune to the culture wars swirling around his behavior. But the rest of us will have to contend with the surreal media and legal circus that America's fearful/gleeful obsession with sex is currently fueling.
3
Has to rank as one of the most expensive escort date ever.... but really, this is vintage Trump - do something self gratifying, betray your marriage vows while your 3rd wife is pregnant, deny it, have a rich friend cover for you, have plausible deniability, and yet your religious and social conservative supporters don't care. what's new here? Lets move on... this is the new normal in American political life.
9
Seems like every man's Time's Up except Trumps. This president is America's mudslide. The irony is that his unblemished deficiencies are exactly what will see him through because we can't see beyond the fog of his foolishness.
The daily drumbeat of this man's inadequacies is too much for the human mind to absorb. And even though our founders' best-laid plans provided for getting rid of a horror like Trump, that can only be accomplished with help from our legislators. If you're holding your breath for that, unless you wish to die, take a breath and move on.
6
Anybody notice the ironic (possibly meant ironically itself) of a publication entitled "Babe" publishing this. I would never call my female colleagues or students "Babe", as it is on the inappropriate list at the workplace, is it not? Confusing times...
5
now that the Trumpster has delivered tax cuts to WallStreet, they no longer need him as he threatens NAFTA and wants to build a wall...this recent immigration statement is final proof.....think Pence, he knows when to back off from big business as he did in Indiana over the liberty religious bill being quashed.....
3
The two topics feels somewhat shoehorned here. Perhaps the way to connect them is this: "When you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything." A cohort of the president's supporters celebrate his lifestyle (from Studio 54 to Stormy Daniels) and female "companions" as a triumph of a particular form of American capitalism, when all of the allegations of assault and harassment instead show that the buying of consent co-exists with repeated non-consensual abuse, abetted by hush money, NDAs, supermarket tabloids, and a culture that failed (and still fails) to punish rich white sexual predators. The man has admitted that he treated teenage pageant entrants as his personal chattels, to be gawped at while they change.
5
No apology to Al Franken ( no, one isn't enough, not while you are still at this job ) ? Then no interest in what you have to say. I just assume you will retract eventually.
3
"Grace" in the Babe article does a real disservice to women who are actual victims of sexual assault. She could have left at anytime, but she really, really wanted a celebrity boyfriend. If Ansari wasn't rich and famous, the chances of that encounter happening are zero.
Likewise, Melania who has become the poster girl for disrespected spouses is free to leave anytime. She could be a First Lady who models self respect instead of victimhood.
9
Now we know the meaning of "slippery slope".
In the 90's, Bill Clinton was a serial womanizer outside of marriage, was credibly accused of harassment, had oral sex in the Oval Office with a young intern who worked for him (and lied about it under oath), and was even accused of rape. And the left forgave him and defended him, and attacked his accusers, because he was one of theirs. Not because it feared some creeping conservative prudishness.
Now, Donald Trump is a serial womanizer outside of marriage, and is credibly accused of harassment (and may have lied about it, not under oath). And the right forgives and defends him, but seems less inclined to attack his accusers, because he is theirs. Not because of some discovered libertine awakening.
Perhaps both sides are just partisan hypocrites. But the precedent was set twenty years ago.
5
Wanna bet a majority of white women would still vote for trump if an election were held today? The feminist echo chamber goes no where.
2
Yes, republican, conservative and Christian white women.
A completely unsubstantiated rumor presented here first as a news report about what was published in another publication (not us, we wouldn't do that) and now expanded upon and capitalized on further with an opinion piece.
I fail to see how anyone can have any opinion about a completely unsubstantiated rumor -- let alone a meaningful enough one to bear publication in the New York Times.
This is the sort of "news" that makes the alt-right so very very alt-right. It also makes it very hard for any sort of legitimate news organization to wring their hands and raise a fist in self-righteous indignation and support of "the truth".
3
Please, ck, don't confuse an Opinion Piece with "news." I know Fox has muddled the two, but no reason for us all to do that.
Critical thinking seems to be the real American deficit.
Can you imagine what Republicans would be saying if this were President Obama?! Extramarital sex? With an adult film star? Paid off to be quiet? Not adding to the disgusting "Access Hollywood" recording? Let's just say that conservatives would not be too tepid or too inured to weigh in on his character.
Just as bad is how these same figures in the GOP treat LBGT people based their supposed respect for the "sanctity of marriage." Mike Pence, Trump's apologist, used his time as Governor to grandstand against marriage equality. It is just meanspirited bigotry and hypocrisy. They couldn't care less how many women Donald messed with in the course of his multiple marriages.
5
I'm glad you brought up the Bennett comments and their glaring hypocrisy. But it points out a factor that the media overlooks and the Democrats ignore at their peril.
The Republicans play his game to seize power. Bennett's self righteous moralizing was never honest. It's intent was to fool the public along with "family values" slogans "right to life" and similar phrases that had no more honesty to them than the typical advertising campaign.
Their approach is simple. Trump is a dog, but he's our dog, so let's get behind him and we'll just shift the ad campaign when we have to.
The Democrats are too interested in drawing fine lines and shifting through results of focus groups to 'broaden their message.' The GOP are bare knuckle hard liners who follow the same aggressive path that right wing movements have since Mussolini marched on the Parliament in Rome.
While in Trump we don't quite have Mussolini, we do have our own version of Berlisconni. And in addition to being a admitted sexual predator he is now an out of the closet white supremacist. But don't worry, the Bennett's of the GOP will try and dress that up as well.
4
Everyone is missing the chilling national security point
The real issue here (as it is in the Russia probe) is Trump's large exposure to potential blackmail. What else may be out there lurking in his libertine past that he (or we) may not even know about and that may come back to haunt him?
Also, on the financial blackmail front, the pornography industry and the billionaire playground world of high-end, $10,000 call girls is in large part funded by organized crime and other sources of dirty money. Anyone who gets caught up in this world, whether he is president or not, is playing with fire.
What did we get ourselves into when we (or I should say the Electoral College) put this morally compromised individual in office?
7
Sex is never ever the problem. Without sex the human race would end. The problem is sex that is really an abuse of power or sex that betrays the trust of another person, a spouse for example.
Donald Trump has betrayed his spouse(s) that is public knowledge. One good rule for judging character, if someone will betray their family they will certainly betray you.
4
Donald Trump's coarseness & fourth grade level communication skills, whether genuine or manufactured television reality show outrageousness or some combination of both, the real or feigned reprehensible behavior doesn't mitigate the inappropriateness for the office of the Presidency & carries real world potentially devastating consequences.
Trump's alpha male lothario persona appeals to those Americans who feel threatened by a brave new world where human sexuality is more fluid & dynamic & females are regularly matching & outperforming male counterparts in traditional male dominated fields. While dalliances with porn stars, multiple marriages to fashion models & boasting about one's caveman moves to dominate women sexually won't win admiration from most educated adults, Trump's adolescent male bravado & conquests do represent a sort of reassurance for his lower educated working class base. They mistake his penchant for breaking Presidential protocol & speaking in unfiltered terms as recognition of their struggles & anger. A majority of Americans can indeed see Trump as the charlatan he is, playing to the emotions of his angry base but ultimately ignoring their needs entirely.
The sexual assault boasts made by private citizen Trump, along with his long list of female accusers are in large part responsible for the #MeToo movement, in addition to the symbolic "assault" on Hillary Clinton through her loss. In the meantime, what happened to all the Bill Cosby outrage?
2
Was public discourse in Rome during its fires and Nero's fiddling as
empty, hollow, and vapid as it is here, in 2018 America? At a certain point disgust simply enervates the will the resist. Hurry sundown, that sort of thing.
Some fool in Hawaii 'simply pushed' the 'wrong button' during a shift change and we rub up against nuclear war. Kids in the USA go hungry while a military industrial complex is so awash with tax payer money, they push pallets of it off helicopters in Afghanistan. Meanwhile, we have one of the two major political parties conceding that it was never about their values, those were just a ruse used to dupe working and middle class voters too stupefied to know how to fact check.
The Russians are coming? Looks like they've been here all along, DBA republicans with more than a few democrats enjoying the ride.
3
Contrary to what Goldberg presumes, I have no difficulty summoning outrage. The outrage is at the failure of conservative voters to demonstrate any principles whatsoever in supporting a president who defiled his marriage, committed the crime of solicitation, paid money to hush witnesses and then brazenly lies about it. This capitulation is intended to buy a slice of political power. And then many of these hypocrites insist on imposing their morally bankrupt evangelical philosophy on the rest of us.
Those who bring up Bill Clinton miss the point -- Clinton could not have been reelected after his dalliance with an intern was discovered, let alone his lying about it. Democrats were livid at the damage he did to the Democratic party and the dignity of the presidency, and would not have supported him. Their objection was to the naked and dishonest abuse of power by Republicans in pursuing impeachment over it.
6
How much do you suppose Marla Maples was paid for her silence? That's one autobiography we'll never see.
3
"Liberals, in general, can’t work up much outrage, because the encounter between Trump and Daniels was by all accounts consensual."
Thank you end of story- hence NO STORY!
The alleged Ansari behavior does not rise to the level of harassment or assault. Therefore, the article draws legitimate criticism. HOWEVER, it sketches a fairly accurate portrait of "hookup culture," a phenomenon that has been given critical examination in some circles, but is not yet a part of our mainstream dialogue. In a nutshell, "hookup culture" is one where men push very, VERY hard for physical intimacy on the first encounter. This is done in lieu of more "old fashioned" trappings of romantic intimacy, such as "dating" or being "boyfriend-and-girlfriend." That pushing for immediate sexual intimacy is INTENSE and makes many women uncomfortable. And, when women give in to that pushing, even a little, it makes them resentful, having had an intimate encounter that was more capitulation to manipulation than gratification. Again, that's neither assault nor harassment, but it is not good for women either. And, in many circles (ahem, college kids), that is ALL the "romantic" activity that happens among men and women. Women feel objectified because they ARE objectified. Objectifying women is a form of gender bias. What this woman experienced was gender bias played out on the most intimate and personal ground. Every woman I know can tell a variation of this story. There's a 2016 pop song about it: "My name is no/My sign is no/My number is no/You need to let it go." Let's change "hookup culture" while we're at it with the #metoo business - cut it out by the roots.
4
The shoulder shrug has nothing to do with our continuing contempt for trump. It is because we're pretty sure that those that COULD do something about it don't seem to care. The Republican party.
2
Part of the issue may be that so many of the scolds turned out to be liars and hypocrites, which itself led to a coarsening of standards and a lowering of expectations. it's not the sex that's the issue in this instance: it's the lying, lying, lying, lying. That's what the legal issue was with Clinton, too.
1
How does Melania Trump rationalize her ongoing marriage to this sad excuse for a man? When his cheating and lying is on display for the whole country, how can she bear it? No amount of designer clothes can make up for the insult. I just hope she gets regular medical checks.
3
Has anyone queued into the fact that exchanging $10,000 for sex is illegal? It's called prostitution. The non disclosure agreement appears to be an attempt to conceal the fact he has "allegedly" committed a crime.
4
Dear M F, I think generally the "indiscriminate" exchange of money for sex is illegal. Men were always allowed to set up their mistresses in apartments, etc. Thank heavens for little girls, and all of that stuff.
Looking at the US from abroad it has become obvious to me, at least, why Trump supporters are so loyal to him. One reason could be that These supporters are exactly like Trump: obsessed with sex and money.
2
A few commentators bring up the argument that Republicans would have been outraged if Obama had been accused of the same type of transgression. But here's another point - if Obama had ever been accused of paying off a porn star, it would have NEVER received much of any coverage from the mainstream media. Rather, it would have been dismissed as a salacious fantasy orchestrated by the alt-right.
300 million people in this country. 150 million eligible to be president. 37% of those identify GOP. 56 million republicans. This huckster is the best they could do?
3
Good point!
First as a survivor of a devastating sexual assault in my teens I would say that what Grace describes is a far cry from assault - and I am outraged and disgusted at any woman who would conflate her story with a real life altering assault. Just microagressions, pseud assaults -this generation is seemingly ill equipped for the real world - yet they should no longer be indulged or tolerated. As for Trump - there are a million things to despise about him - but consensual sex among adults is their business not mine. I have never wavered in my defense of Bill Clinton - and for this issue Trump gets the same defense. If - as he's been accused - there has been a rape and a coverup - then throw the book at him. You can't hush money your way out of a crime.
2
Well...during the campaign, we did hear about the young woman who has accused him of raping her when she was 13. trump allegedly offered to help her get into modeling & he took her to a "party" at Epstein's where the young women there were expected to provide sex to the men. Her first lawsuit was dismissed due to some technical error. When she tried to sue again, she received death threats. So, one can threaten physical harm or death their way out of a crime.
Hi Michelle
I think your essay confused John F. Kennedy and Donald Trump. Please feel free to interchange these names at will in your piece! Thanks
An Enlightened Reader
2
It all looks like yet another reason to legalize and reasonably regulate prostitution.
With my head still spinning from the pairing of the Simpson case with the Steele Dossier along comes this, which starts as a bit on the (race, not gender) imbalance of the US (In)Justice system! Chutzpah...
I am bummed by the Liberals who talk out one side of their mouths on the prejudice of the system then Say Simpson did it. There is a court verdict that by definition legally means he DID NOT. And that continuing to say bluntly he did is slander. But Liberals don't seem to care about such fine points as law, or ethics, than Conservatives.
In fact it amazes that anyone ever could believe that one man with a knife could kill two adults without any screaming heard for 911. It would take two killers, at least. And killing quickly with a knife (forget the terror wounds) is a pro thing.
And Ms G ridiculed the drug crime aspect without laying out the full montey...that Ms S was hungry for money and tattling to LA Confidential, telling too true tales of sex, drugs and gambling about a Large Sports Industry...
Why Did both teams run away so fast from LA?
(Of Course, with respect the Russia thing- inquiring minds will be attracted more to the new tale of "who is Mr Steele, and how does he know anything" given it is Ian Fleming sexy where the tawdry rumors on Trump are oldold news...& the retirement figleaf is a dupe lure...even Le Carre, decades later, has to have his novels approved by his old spy masters... Steele was dealing in product or pure fiction, there's the story)
What writers like Bennett ignore is the earlier way of hiding human foibles, of selective outrage only towards those designated outside (often women, minorities, gay) while pretending others were free of vice, a false front of morality, was every bit as corrosive and more.......
1
I never cared one way or the other about who Bill Clinton was having sex with. I don't care who Donald Trump has sex with. I don't care who he pays to keep them silent as long as he does not use taxpayer money to do it. Bill and Donald's infidelities are their wives business not mine. What I do care about is that these men take care not to compromise United States security (think JFK) and that they don't lie about what they have done. Both of them lied. Clinton suffered more consequences than Trump because the Republicans held the congressional majority in both cases. Considering what a lying sleaze Donald Trump is nobody is really surprised by much of anything that he does. That we have become so complacent and immune to this man's outrageous behavior is the real tragedy here.
9
There's a huge difference between consensual sex and rape but there are numerous steps between these two ends. As a woman, I know that there is a very uncomfortable step and that should allow a woman to voice, "No or I changed my mind". These words and circumstances sometimes are truly difficult and men are very rarely intuned to woman's initial change in comfort level. This makes the male, female relationship a minefield. Most men fail in consideration beyond their immediate sexual release and self-satisfaction.
This is the complicated map men and women must learn to navigate in this twenty-first century world we find ourselves in. That said Americans particularly and the World in general lack civility and thinking, empathic men. Certainly, our President is no poster child on civility, thinking or empathy.
2
After the Lewinsky affair there was a lot of talk about how Hillary could stay with Bill after that humiliation. But I haven't seen a word about how FLOTUS can stay with POTUS after this revelation. Perhaps she knew what she signed up for, but her silence is quite revealing.
6
America is rotting away. Hypocrisy, lies, deception and meanness are now its staples. Trump didn’t create this situation but he is exploiting it. Rather than being distracted by these kinds of stories, the press might help refocus America’s attention to things that actually matter: re-opening the arctic to drilling, changing America’s nuclear policy back to Cold War era standards (first strike), the list grows longer every day. Everyone knows that conflicts of interest are every where in this administration. That members of the administration are enriching themselves. Also, even a casual observer knows what’s in Trump’s heart. The video of him bragging stands as witnesses to his behavior. And he still managed to get elected!
4
And yet he is above the law.
2
Please tell me why again the GOP is the party of family values and morals? It’s okay, I’ll wait.
10
Clever column. But where in any of these conversations about changing sexual mores does the female sex drive come in? If hook-ups were only about acquiescing (or not) to the patriarchy, men wouldn't be having all that much sex.
1
Meanwhile.... McConnell aided by Democrats rout financial protections.
3
What's often missing from these exposes of hypocrisy: the double standard. Not gender or party, but career and profile. A career politician like Clinton was provided zero wiggle room in his (mis)behavior. He was held to a standard deemed central to the politician's ethos, a kind of purity of purpose and ambition. Trump gets a pass because he's an outre entertainer, a "businessman" who isn't judged by the yardstick held up to politicians. Listen to the Evangelicals pretzel themselves into acceptance of Trump's appallingly boorish MO. Trump is "real," in this case "real" a stand-in for "not-a-politician." The reason he's exonerated: he's not part of a loathed class of Washington-tethered men. Sometimes, repulsive as it is, the answer is that simple.
2
Assault and battery should be submitted to a jury, unless reasonable minds cannot differ as to their existence in any given case. Where a statute exists, defining sexual criminal behavior, it should be used to bring additional counts in the indictment/information for the jury to consider, unless reasonable minds cannot differ as to their existence. There should be no statute of limitations for criminal sexual conduct. The watering down of such conduct, through the use of terminology that mitigates it seriousness, e.g.; groping, by the male dominated world, is disgusting, and its own indictment.
U.S. moral standards have declined immeasurably. Jeff Sessions' war on Marijuana, which is far less damaging than alcohol, has reopened the path to discrimination and incarceration of minorities. The Evangelists preach modesty while their presidential standard bearer rampages across the land like a gorilla on heat.
The nation officially aspires to the noble cause of 'spreading democracy' while its soldiers and bombs kill and displace millions in the interests of Big Oil.
My nation has been held hostage for 4 decades to the 'Hostage Crisis' in which no U.S. citizens were harmed, while other nations bomb U.S. cities with impunity and fete the U.S. President as if he owed them something. (Maybe he does).
Israel murdered 34 crew members of the USS Liberty and there wasn't even a Congressional Investigation!
U.S. moral hypocrisy and double standards would be amusing if the results were not so tragic, not only for the world but for the U.S. which is digging its own grave in blissful ignorance.
A sea change in political education would help avoid disaster, but looking at U.S. congressmen and senators I don't see any hope for a catharsis that would purge the nation of its ghosts.
3
These are sad times for people who value role modeling and trustworthy good examples of leadership and how to live a good life as a public servant in this country. Evangelicals are losing the cultural war, by their very votes. This bears further fruit in American culture and behavior. Go to any pro sports game, the ticket prices are outrageous and the effort on the court or field lackluster half the time. But there always sit the Johns with their arms around young escorts in some of the better seating, the escorts dolled up in beautiful makeup. By 2018 standards who looks to be the winner (?), as Charlie Sheen likes to say. Answer: The John who can afford $300 to $4000 an hour for the escort's 'company'. What used to be Vegas is now Anytown, USA, through the penetration of media in all it's forms to even the most rural places in America, and the expansive nature of gangs, small rackets, drugs and prostitution into even the smallest cities who lack funding for effective law enforcement. Maybe all of us are being groomed as future victims by aggregate society. Sanctity of marriage is diluted. Trust between genders is coined in cash, security and/or the threat of pay backs. As scattered as my comment is, it's all connected that way in real life. It's about money, power, media, and preying on the weaker ones in society. Here's to those who remain strong, despite all we read, hear and see almost daily.
2
Something has gone tragically wrong. Trump, a product of the 60s has totally misinterpreted that iconic dictum from our youth - "We've got to get back to the Godhead."
1
This is a wide-ranging essay if it not only touches on the new scandal (?) involving Aziz Ansari, but also mentions Bill Clinton, Hillary, The Donald, notably stiff and silent Melania, and then reminds us of William Bennett, a man I’ve tried to forget along with Pat Robertson, Newt Gingrich, Rush Limbaugh, and Charlton Heston.
But there is one aspect of this new discussion about men, women, and sex (which echoes so many old discussions about men, women, and sex) that the columnist doesn’t mention.
If Trump’s lawyer did pay off over a hundred women to keep their mouths shut about illicit sex with our current Coiffed Commander in Chief, this increases the credibility of the Steele dossier reports that Trump sported with Russian prostitutes, games that might well have made him subject to blackmail.
This angle is speculative, and I can understand why Ms. Goldberg wouldn’t bring it up, but it does reconfirm that many people are now tracing Donald Trump’s past trails, and these are wide, trampled, dirty ... predictable. You don’t need a hound to find them. Signs are everywhere on the ground.
3
A generation of women who don't know how to call a cab, indeed.
2
Trump has no limits and no truth. He lies for practice. Putting Bill Clinton in Trump's league, in truth and sex is like a poodle versus a wolf. In the Ansari story, where are the self-imposed limits of a person checking out the other?
This woman pursued Ansari, went to his house, allowed him to undress her and then claims to have said no. What happened to first date discussions, getting to know each other? It looks very much like she wanted to have a story to tell and not a relationship. She looks like a predator, of a sort, not Ansari. Where were those written consent forms when we need them?
1
Haven't we gotten the clue? At this point, this "man" could molest the daughters of Trump Country, and their voters will blame the girls. WE MUST ACTIVATE AND VOTE.
4
We have a saying here in Australia. The dingo waits.
5
We already know that Trump is immoral - he’s broken every “thou shalt not...” for those who don’t recognize the words - the Ten Commandments. He’s clearly dumbed down and demeaned the Presidency and White House. Ms. Huckabee Sanders and a few fawning Senators defend acts that are an affront to decent people. The people he publicly ridicules slog around the golf course to curry favor - knowing full well that he despises their shameless behavior. It’s the big American sellout. The public acceptance of this lack of morality will exact a toll. Watch the Letterman interview of President Obama. Now that was a shining Presidency - despite Republicans policy to discredit him. The Republican legacy is mired in dirt - Bannon, Moore, Trump, Flynn ... and the list goes on.
3
Let's face it, after the continued support for this president the right has lost all credibility on being the party of family values. People have consensual sex outside of marriage all the time. Get over it.
What we need to focus on is making sure that women stop treating sex as something to be endured. Sex is something that both parties should enjoy but women need to learn to speak up about what they do and don't enjoy.
I think that for a very long time sex was a form of rebellion. The left embraced free sex without any boundaries as a way of separating themselves from the conservative right. We need to find a healthy balance and perhaps the current movement will lead to that.
the question is where did the money come from to pay her off?
Trump Floundation? a crime
Campaign Funds, another crime?
it never ends
5
NYT, please pursue this story, it is not irrelevant with regard to this poor excuse for a president no matter how much we might shrug at this type of behavior in general. Again follow the money and the non disclosure agreements, I am sure this is just the tip of the iceberg, and it lends more credence to the juicier part of the Russian dossier.
5
Wish some investigator reporter could figure out where the 130,000 came from. My guess is Trump used campaign funds.
4
So, where is William Bennett now? Why is he not screaming bloody murder at the moral bankruptcy of our current President?
It couldn't be that he is sitting by quietly because he is just a right wing political tool, could it?
2
The more things change the more they stay the same. David Letterman apologized to his wife in 2009. What happened to the women he sexually harrassed? He's honored in Washington and all over Netflix as if #metoo was just a diversion.
What's more, the corporate system of shills that have protected the abusers and silenced the oppressed are more entrenched than ever.
Seth Myers may be right. Weinstein may be front and center again, having worked the system, like Trump, to destroy anyone who dares to tell the truth.
Where are the people of courage, principles, values? What is it to be an American?
1
It is not beyond the imagination with this “President” to envision a “Dr Trumplove” future in a nuclear dystopian world where the survivors have to repopulate the world. Oh all the Hard Hard work these men will have to do. I wish this was a joke.
The #MeToo seems to represent the edge of a major change in American life in American life in the area of sexual relations, particularly in the workplace. However, if it does not topple Him at the Top it has failed.
2
If there is one sliver of nuance that needs to be stated, it is that trump hasn't - yet - been accused of any sexual improprieties, consensual or not, while he's been in office.
That said, just about every square inch of his behavior toward women going back decades, can be described by most reasonable people as nothing short of repulsive.
8
I meant '*that occurred* while he's been in office'
1
Does the lassie-faire “let trump be trump” equate to a hall pass for his personal actions?
What new exposure or expose could jolt the audience into recognition that the canard of a president for all is really a president for one?
The NYC area had two shows in the 60’s/ 70’s that come to mind. Bozo the Clown and Wonderama. Those shows are a prism in understanding trumps persona.
4
The term is "laissez-faire," but I like "lassie-faire" in this context, though the relevance is probably unintentional. I've been tempted by a fair lassie once or twice in my life.
"attacks on reproductive rights have grown only more intense. "
Perhaps because reproductive rights are actually a euphemism for killing fetuses?
I was thinking of the strange custom of pardoning turkeys by presidents. Why pardon ONE turkey - which has done no wrong - while millions of other turkeys are being killed on the same Thanksgiving weekend and eaten in some kind of celebration?
America is awfully comfortable with killing, and uncomfortable with those who oppose killing.
2
Keep your grubby hands off of my right to choose what happens in my body.
Reports say Trump paid money to Clifford to keep her quiet, and that Clifford said when the money wasn't forthcoming, she was planning to go public:
How is this not blackmail? If Trump is susceptible to blackmail about this incident, are there other cases, as Wolff's book suggested? Shouldn't there be an investigation about this? If the president is susceptible to blackmail, doesn't that affect the whole country?
6
Maybe young women should refrain from engaging in these casual sexual encounters if they aren't enjoying them. If they did, guys might up their game. Right now, they don't have to work too hard. Women need to accept responsibility for that.
1
When a woman says she’s not interested in going further, there’s the stop sign in front of your nose.
2
Isn't soliciting against the law? Why has there not been an arrest?
2
You agree with Flanagan and sympathize with the younger feminists. What, if any, are your feelings towards Mr. Ansari?
2
"To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public. Nothing but the truth should be spoken about him or any one else. But it is even more important to tell the truth, pleasant or unpleasant, about him than about any one else."
3
There is an underlying construct; it refers to a combination of cognitive and emotional sense - and a fairly absolute one - of entitlement to decide everything that occurs in America and the rest of the world, rule everything, profit from everything (regardless of effort expended, and risks taken), and decide what should and should not occur.
Republicans possess this attribute. Democrats are totally devoid of it. Rather they possess its mirror opposite. An overwhelming desire to function as obsequious, teary eyed losers in search for one sorry story after another that they want someone else to fund.
Given this rather large divide, there is no moral failing, no crime, that a republican can commit - which is not explained away as inconsequential by the American right. There is not so much as a hiccup from a democrat that republicans could not paint into a complete moral scandal.
I have struck up conversations with people who voted republican and probed their concerns about Hillary's emails and Benghazi. They lack even a descriptive understanding, but possess an absolute sense that it signaled her corruption. There was simply nowhere to go with Trump's daily disasters; they are all inconsequential to them.
William Bennett has no job, but boy he can profit from the above seeming dichotomy. Same with the religious right; that shares all its values with republicans; except they feel they are entitled by god herself.
Kalidan
2
It seems to me that modern feminists, like this columnist, frequently conflate cultural conflict with personal relationships.
On the latter, if you know what you want, then go for it, girls, and if your date is going badly, politely end it or clearly communicate your wishes for how to correct course. Rape and harassment are forms of violence, and there are established legal ramifications for these behaviors. They should be clearly differentiated from more common flaws in human personalities, like stupidity, boorishness, selfishness, immaturity, greed, etc..
And yes, many politicians and entertainers apparently suffer from these human failures. Perhaps they correlate with the narcissism that drives some to run for public office or perform before an audience.
1
What's important here isn't the sex. It's the fact that one party to the transaction felt so compelled to hide the sex that hush money was used to cover it up.
If Trump were a mid-level bureaucrat with a security clearance working for the Department of Defense, paying hush money to cover up behavior that might subject him to some unwanted personal consequence (a divorce, social ridicule, being cut out of a will...) would be a reason to revoke his clearance.
People with secrets they do not want exposed -- for whatever reasons -- are people who can be blackmailed. People who can be blackmailed don't belong in positions of public trust.
6
Ah, yes--the same William Bennett who also had a huge gambling addiction that left him deep in debt:
https://washingtonmonthly.com/magazine/june-2003/the-bookie-of-virtue/
William Bennett and Trump, along with most of today's GOP, share something in common. We have a special word for people like Bennett and them: Losers.
3
Goldberg's column points out to me again how the media failed to seriously vet Trump in the primaries and general election. Instead of spending all their spare time hawking Hillary's emails, perhaps, if some of any of the media had bothered to take a serious look at Trump--not just with these women he paid off but his ties to Russia and Russian money--maybe we wouldn't be where we are now. This column reminds me just how must the media is responsible for the Trump Administration and all the destructive ugliness that goes with it. No lessons learned so far.
5
Are we sure there's no crime here? What if this woman, or other women, demanded a payment from Trump to keep quiet? If the President of the United States has been/is being blackmailed, don't we need to investigate this?
2
I would wish to live in a society of a more elevated moral base than that provided by organized religion. But one has to realize that religion is a powerful influence, and perhaps narcotic, for the mass of society — religion can say, do and influence out of all proportion to the content of its message. And yet, in the midst of the daily degradation and immoral treatment of others we see before our very eyes, even at the highest level, where is the voice of religion — is it too fearful of its remaining adherents to stand for anything ? Is it still no more than a tool of authority to keep its masses quiescent ? Does it have no ear for blatant hypocrisy ? Can it offer any hope ?
1
William Bennett lecturing us on “Chronic indiscipline, compulsion — something habitual and beyond control,” was rich given his gambling addiction, but we have come to expect such hypocrisy from Republican scolds. Some say it is the human propensity to despise in the culture what one most despises within oneself. This is readily apparent in Republican double-speak about all sorts of issues, from abortion and same sex marriage to deficit spending. The latest hypocrisy comes in the form of a tax overhaul which is expected to increase the deficit by $1.5 trillion.
Bennett was right; “the easy betrayal of vows ... suggests something wrong at a deep level.”
4
In the past few weeks, down here in the shadow of Trump's Xanadu, I've heard essentially the same justification for Trump's sleazy behavior from a half-dozen or so members of the "one per cent." it goes like this: "Personally, I can't stand him. But some of his policies are good." Not wanting to get into a discussion, I drop the subject because I realize that what this person is actually saying is that the Trump tax "reform," so favorable to the already wealthy, outweighs everything else about him. You might call it taking a bribe on an unprecedented scale.
4
So, as I understand it, “few social conservatives are interested in criticizing the president, since they’ve talked themselves into a posture of hardheaded moral realism in order to justify their support for him.”
They support him because they want judges on the bench who will erode, if not overturn, Roe v. Wade and make access to birth control harder. For those who think the latter goal is a stretch, I refer them to the story of Teresa Mannings’ removal from the Ttitle X program at HHS.
So zealous have some right to lifers in the GOP become that they are willing to support a men like Trump and Moore to achieve their goal.
It has long been a cliche to point to the obvious evidence concerning how little many of these same people care about children once they are born.
6
It's probably even worse than simple promiscuity. Remember the scene in "Chinatown" (1974) where Faye Dunaway is prompted to alternate "My sister!" an "My daughter!" Think of that scene, and the inappropriate poses of Ivanka and her father.
1
I think may progressives were quite upset with Clinton's behavior as many Americans were when they discovered Kennedy's affairs and those of other presidents. It did not give a go ahead as this opinion points out. No, I do not think it is okay for presidents to take or have taken advantage of women because of their position or money. They are supposed to set an example for the people, especially children, of this country rather than making unacceptable behavior par for the course.
But it does a disservice to our cause when women, like Grace, accuse a man of ignoring nonverbal cues when she could have said no. Non verbal cues matter when someone is forced and cannot use verbal cues.
2
Al Franken was pushed out of the Senate for what? Seems almost quaint now after all these weeks.
9
I keep looking to the future, beyond this nightmare. How will the Republicans and the Right ever be able to use any moral outrage against their opponents again? It will be laughable. Meanwhile however...
4
With all the talk about sexploitation of women, the word which I find missing in the discussion is the word "respect." I am admittedly old-fashioned, but I like to think that respect has two sides: the obvious one is respect for others, in this case, women by men; the other, not so obvious one, is respect for oneself, in this case, men by themselves. (And, in this comment, "men" and "women" can be substituted for one another). But to speak in terms of self-respect is to assume that the person has character and has the capability of self-reflection on his or her conduct. With self-respect in short supply, the abuses that result will continue without, as we increasingly but ineffectually rely on, external controls, like complaint processes and legal action.
8
short of murder, nothing damages this president. worth noting though in the future, GOP outrage about nearly anything will be hot air
35
Cause some damage. Quit calling them a Grand Old Party. If that's not too much trouble, of course.
1
What about when he shoots somebody in Times Square (or was it on 5th Avenue)?
2
You write, "I can sympathize with the younger feminists who are pushing the limits of the #MeToo movement." As a writer, you can afford to do so. But if those limits are pushed to the point of wanton intimidation or ridiculous hysterics, thereby discrediting the movement in the eyes of most women and men, liberal politicians who have embraced it are liable to pay dearly. So are those of us who want to see liberals elected.
31
The Stephanie Clifford / Stormy Daniels payoff is important because it highlights why the Michael Steele dossier is so important: Trump pre-POTUS behaviour has created a climate where blackmail is not only possible, but probable. It's not about the sex, it's about the leverage.
82
It's Christopher Steele.
1
I had the same thought. It makes those most salacious details of the dossier that much more plausible. It’s hard for Trump to take the high road about Russian prostitutes if it’s true that he’s paying porn stars for sex.
It is mostly a waste of time to talk about conservative " hardheaded moral realism." It is funny to even use the language to suggest that morality of any kind was involved here. Every man who is not a sociopath knows how he should behave with women, children, cats and dogs. To talk of establishing new guidelines is just silly. Acting with decency towards women is standing up for one's own rights. The real deal here is that is a fight for decency in the most basic sense of respect for the dignity of the people we share our lives with. Men who do not live sup to their duty to be decent partners or co-workers know that they doing harm to others. What they don't accept is that they are harming themselves in the process. Most men want to do the right thing and they know when their male friends are being fools and worse. Men need to show solidarity with male and female friends who support decent standards of behavior.
33
following Trump into the gutter when liberals and defenders of democracy need to focus on a positive alternative -- I worry much more about this that the latest "hot news" about Trump.
12
Bennet's bona fides as a moral scold were later damaged by revelation of failings of his own as I recall. Neither irony or hypocrisy are part of the conservative lexicon.
27
Goldberg choosing Bennett as her moral arbiter is laughable and only works without context and deeper knowledge of Bennett's cynically motivated, fundamentally amoral actions and beliefs. He's an unabashed GOP partisan, and is now an unabashed Trump defender.
RE:Roy Moore for example:
"...40 years of what appears to be a pretty good character record..."
https://billbennettshow.com/past-episodes/
I expected nothing less from Comrade trump. With regard to Aziz Ansari - like most famous people he works very hard to cultivate a positive public image. A young lady called him on it, and that's the price of fame.
4
Op ed writers who are compelled by their trade to navigate these fast shifting sands of moral rectitude and perfect correctness may be forgiven for sometimes getting it wrong as Michelle Goldberg did only weeks ago by being the first to suggest Senator Al Franken resign, not for what he did but in order for Dems to establish a moral high ground. Gee, Michelle, looks like the Repub poobahs were truly impressed!
18
This tabloid story certainly is not getting the audience the left hoped for; and there is a reason. People care about the POLICIES; we do not want socialism, wealth redistribution, illegal immigration, big government, bankrupt blue states, etc. The left just refuses to get it and they are not inclusive of anyone who does not agree with them. The left is hypocritical.
6
I believe Trump's supporters want the same things that the "socialists" want... good schools, access to health care (without high"Obama" premiums), job training, and public funded infrastructure. The GOP just has hoodwinked them.
1
Yes, that's what you say now, but last week "the people" were only concerned about moral rectitude and the insidious pervasive creep of "leftist moral relativism," so the claims of radical conservatives regarding religiosity or morality are just not believable anymore. Similar claims by the left were never believable, but at least they quit making such claims before they completely lost credibility.
1
Possibly. But the right is amoral.
2
Despite attempts by the mainstream media to push this story, it has gone nowhere, just another distraction from an otherwise successful presidency. I support the President. I support Trump. Thank you.
8
Supporters of the President are disconnected from reality.
4
When belief is indistinguishable from satire...
5
You support racism. You support sexual assault. You support lies. You support hatred. You support enslaving women through forced childbirth. You support involving yourself in other peoples' sex lives. You support overthrowing the Constitutional separation of church and state. Why aren't you embarrassed?
Why aren't the Dems screaming at the top of their lungs about the double-standard here: it's okay for Scrump to have as many extramarital affairs as he wants - about which he is also willing to lie and pay hush-money - but conservatives clutched their pearls and declared the end of morality when it was revealed that Bill Clinton lied about one consensual extramarital affair.
20
And if Trump should lie about it under oath, liberals would do the same. Not to condone or condemn any of this, it might still be pointed out that Clinton was doing it IN the Oval Office, which even some liberals might think was just a bit too much!
I've come to realize that it makes no difference if we point out the abject hypocrisy of conservatives on these things. They are all inveterate liars, not just the politicians and their henchmen lawyers and other fixers, but all the fundamentalist preachers that support them, the crooked business "leaders" and financiers, the economists and philosophers of "conservatism," the conservative journalists and other "thought" leaders, most of the conservative jurists, and, of course, those who vote for and support the whole lot. While some on the left lie too, few are as shameless about it as the average rank-and-file conservative. I will be pleasantly surprise if a conservative doesn't reply to this comment with reference to "if you like your doctor, you can keep him," the go to "lie" that they all resort to as an example of their own rectitude. Just remember the conservative definition of truth: It's not a lie if you can convince others that you believe it and that they should too.
3
Probably because they (Dems) are all hoarse.
The daily, weekly, monthly, now yearly outrage du jour has been non-stop.
When calling out hypocrisy to those that don't care, that claim "god" yet couldn't recognize him/her if she/he knocked upon their door... how much energy does one spend upon wasted efforts?
We all know.
We all see.
They. Don't. Care.
1
Trumpism is the abandonment of all virtues and standards in exchange for bigotry and resentments.
This scandal du jour hardly cracks a 3 out of 10 on the Trump Vileness scale. More will surely come out in the months ahead — payoffs, Mueller indictments. Will the GOP and “Christian” right ever, EVER find a moral compass and a backbone again?
37
No. Today's Republican Party exists only to defend Trump no matter what he does. It's almost like those GOP senators and representatives are on his payroll or something.
3
Evangelos,
Based upon a history of lies, deceit, hypocrisy and grift...
No!
Never had one (compass & spine) to begin with.
1
Because you wake up in the morning and decide you didn’t like the sexual experience you had the previous evening does not automatically make the encounter sexual misconduct. Ansari’s accuser essentially suggested he failed to understand her non-verbal insinuations that she wanted to stop. She texted him the next day saying: “Upon further reflection, I felt uncomfortable”. Felt uncomfortable? Who hasn’t?
25
There once was a man with skills ample
To serve just as a bad example
Unfit for other tasks
So this citizen asks
That he’s gone before the next scandal
7
As much as Trump is unfit to lead even a scout troop or hold any political office, whomever he grabs with those tiny hands, as long as it is an adult and consensual, whether as a private citizen or illegitimately elected White House resident, it is his personal business which should only be debated between him and Melania. I don't even care if Trump lies about his adulterous affairs before Congress, either. The Bill Clinton impeachment was a travesty. Unlike Trump, Clinton was a very good President with political qualifications and skills, respected by world allies.
What is particularly delicious about Trump's adulterous affairs and especially those affairs with porn stars, is listening to his evangelical base continue to validate him as a great President, no matter the sins which are piling up with each new passing day. There is absolutely nothing virtuous or good Christian-like about Donald Trump but listening to his base which often identifies as good Christians and dedicated mothers and fathers or husbands and wives, is so entertaining.
574
A good president? You mean for his entertainment value?
His administration set the wheels in motion for the 2008 financial meltdown. Study up on your presidential legacies before making those statements. For Bush, it was a failing economy he inherited from Clinton, though no one cares to concede this, and the wars. For Obama - well, he actually has no legacy. For Trump - we shall see. My take it that we have had four sub-par presidents in a job that should be held by the best of the best. How do voters get it so wrong, and more so every presidential election in the past 25 years?
To lie under oath about anything insignificant is OK....so being under oath means nothing? It just depends?
2
Ditto. It is shocking hypocricy of biblical proportions. And the example of male privilege, money privilege and now partisan privilege. My only hope is a proportional payback in 2018 and 2020 with women leading the charge.
5
Prostitution remains illegal in most of the country. But it isn't the crime, it's the cover-up.
22
In this, Trump seems less offensive than Bill Clinton. Trump just paid his girl, while Bill and Hill attacked Bill's assault victims. And Kennedy's women had the class to largely stay quiet on their own. What a sad reflection on these men, and on the women who stand by them. None of this would be tolerated if Jackie, Hillary, or Melania stood up, called it out and left. Their acceptance is the lynchpin to this whole sick behavior, liberated feminists, career women, or spouses, they need to call out their own men.
4
You are saying that Trump hasn't v really attacked his accusers? You know the 20 of them that came out during the campaign? Have you been living in a barn?
1
But, but, but, but what about Bill? As if he got off Scott free. I was one of those who didn't want it to be true - but sadly found out it was and my outlook and opinion of him changed forever. Not true with the Trump crowd, not only does their opinion not change it only seems to harden and solidify further.
It seems Trump and the Republicans have discovered the best get out jail free card by pointing to others that they should be held faultless because someone at some time they claim was worse then them. Its part of the same thinking that allows people not to be racists, liars, thieves, abusers, harassers, adulterers, etc. in their own minds because they picture someone worse themselves which isn't them, so they aren't that and its OK.
I guess these are the kids when they said "Johnny did it too" their mother's said, "Well that's OK then. Did you have a good time shoplifting, breaking the neighbor's windows, getting drunk?"
20
The truth is that without an early education of the nature of the human animal, and that sex is the strongest drive there is, the puberty of males, and the age of consent, discussed openly by parents, educators, the media, etc., we have lived in both the dark ages, and an attempt by Hollywood the last 40 years to make those that watch their moves exposed to a freedom of sexuality, without themselves really understanding that those who were in these movies, both females and males, were being subjected to unwanted advances, emotionally, sexually, sexually assaulted, bullied, used as leverage for their careers. The very fact that this was kept hidden for so long, shows that those who consider themselves liberal, were the last ones who really should of been telling the American people what was acceptable. What is acceptable, is an education about human nature, evolution, and everything in between. We are a very ignorant, dishonest, and hypocritical society, that, I hope moves in a new direction.
5
Another aspect of our Alice In Wonderland role reversals between left and right is condemnation of Russia. Today, its xenophobic dictator is lauded as a "strong leader" by Trump and his cult.
21
The Righteous Right was RIPE for this kind of moral comeuppance at the hands of their Trump. It is incomprehensible but hilarious too to watch those Republican bible-pounders run to the really awful DJT's defense. No one escapes.
23
Problem is, IMHO, his base and many Americans have adapted to the new normal brought about by the right's recalcitrance to do the, so-called, right thing...
3
Moral comeuppance is impossible for the truly morally corrupt. Watch the "religious conservatives" and see how it's done.
2
This is actually one of Trump's lesser evils so far.
9
Is this really where the New York Times and the focus of the American people need to be right now?
Your character could be described as what occupies your mind.
Granted, we have Trump in the highest office. Don't we have something more urgent or more important to talk about?
1
I don't know about you, but I want to to know about all the news involving the so-called leader of the free world. It is kind of important.
Millenials were all raised in a "everyone wins" climate. This is the fallout
5
"Repulsively presidential." Not words I would have ever thought to see together. We live in strange times.
7
I'm beginning to resent the strictly female interpretation of human sexuality. We seem to have drifted off topic. We're supposed to be talking about institutionalized sexual predation. Not bad ideas with Aziz Ansari. This is not a uniquely female problem. If you don't have a horror story, you're not human. Gender really doesn't factor into the equation as much as some would have you believe. No offense to Jessica Valenti but "normal" is a figment of everyone's imagination.
If you want 3,000 words on abnormal sexual encounters, I can write you an encyclopedia. I'm rather proud of some of the more clever diversionary tactics. The point is, in the "normal" course of events, things are not necessarily easier on the other side. The conversation really isn't constructive until both men and women acknowledge the vulnerability and embarrassment of their opposite number. The discussion needs to be equal parts "I" versus "You." Otherwise, feminism is going to stay stuck in limbo indefinitely.
8
Repulsively presidential pretty much says it all about the rapid evolution of conservative sexual values. Considering that a broad segment of republicans support Trump it is only fair to imply that they also accept his very loose approach to sexual encounters. They no longer have any right to push their so called moral superiority on anyone. The man they support as the leader of this country and their representative is far less principled and morally correct than the vast majority of Americans.
12
They do recognize it, always have but DO NOT CARE - they elected him knowing this. If we do not understand this, we will never get rid of him. I agree with the poster that has taken the MSM to task. They are starting to nick pic him to death. His supporters believe HIM - “the news about his outrages aren’t true, unimportant or exaggerated.” Most people will see a little more in their take home pay (yipee!) & their investments (yipee!) never mind that it won’t last. Never mind about health insurance for all, DACA, CHIP, the environment, leadership in the world or the fact that money isn’t the only measuring stick of success. Media, please, stop focusing on twitter etc. Dig into the money laundering, the Steele dossier, NK, contacts with Putin & other Russian officials. The list is enormous. Sink your teeth into something really important!
3
You can thank Bill Clinton for making moral character irrelevant to electability.
You can thank Hillary for blaming the "vast right wing conspiracy."
There is no one to thank in this presidency. Just a very sad little boy and his mother trailing an old man and his umbrella.
3
Your kidding, right? You can't believe Bill Clinton was the first president to have private peccadillos? And what do you call millionaires paying people to write books and articles attacking the clintons even if it means making things up?
2
Late last night, there was a gathering in my street. Several dozen bare chested males in their late teens and early twenties were spilling out of a house party, and kicking a football loudly up and down our quiet residential street. On the tray of a nearby ute, a throng of giggling girls lay there drinking, giggling and screaming wildly.
I bumped into the girl gaggle later. They were all looking the worse for wear. They were all dressed in next to nothing. It was a hot humid night. Most of them were about fourteen. Many were clearly only twelve or thirteen.
Nobody made these young females d3cide to spend the evening noisily and riotously with a gang of guys up to ten years older. Many of these youngsters I recognise. Most of these kids up here have been brought up by their single mothers. Poverty is widespread. Education levels are low. But it’s warm all year round and fairly cheap to rent.
Most of these girls will be pregnant, unmarried and have given birth before they are twenty. I don’t know what the solution is.
7
Moral outrage and double-standards aside Trump is a walking, talking security risk. All of his behaviors leave him open to some form of extortion whether from "models" or Russians. This is well-known in Intelligence circles and certainly part of the early exposures. Republican "Christians" are operating in a moral limbo where risk is sublimated for some vacuous hope. What good can that be?
17
The only import of this knowledge is that the final few pages of the "dossier" which were still considered "salacious" and "not likely", because Trump never had wild in hotel room parties, being a germophobe, are now up for grabs.
10
The best thing that can come out of all of this is to remove sex from political affiliation. It should be clear to anyone with a pint of perspicacity that a broad cross section of politicians and others have crossed moral, ethical and legal lines with regard to sexual encounters and regardless of whether the perpetrators or ally (or lie) with Democrats or Republicans.
1
It appears that when there is a pay-off of money, someone is trying to hide something.
Why pay money if there is "no there, there"?
How many women of power have made pay-offs to men? Can anyone answer that question.
4
There is nothing surprising in Trump’s payoff to Stormy Daniels. I am sure she is one of many others. I’m not sure it is necessary to tell all of the names. The whole world doesn’t need to know what a cad we elected for our president. Oh, wait. I guess they already know.
14
And, we DO need to know.
“Chronic indiscipline, compulsion, exploitation, the easy betrayal of vows, all suggest something wrong at a deep level — something habitual and beyond control,”... Wow, what a perfect description of Trump.
12
What stands out to me, at least with the “president’s” dalliances is that his campaign knew they had to keep them quiet. It’s all such a mess.
6
We are in the middle of a sexual panic. And as with all moral panics, assigning blame for it is misguided. The only solution is to get past it and return to reason, and figure out new and clear legal processes to separate the wheat from the chaff. Otherwise the panic very quickly devolves into a fiasco, and any kernel of truth and justice that was at stake risks being lost.
"Believe the children" was noble but horribly destructive motto during the daycare panics of the 80's. "Believe the women" is equally foolish.
We need to get rid of NDA's and get this matter into the courts, where we can follow the much more rational motto of, "believe the jury."
8
I'm an ole hippy. I believe in "make love, not war". I don't think I have the right to judge anyone's consensual, adult sexual choices. But adultery is different.
A marriage is the most intimate relationship one can have with another human being who is not related by blood. Intimacy, true intimacy, involves the freedom to speak and act freely, without the fear of judgement, to admit your worst errors and share your most outlandish dreams. And what a gift that is to give each other - a safe place - physically, mentally and emotionally, provided by one you love, and who loves you.
But immediately, with adultery, you deprive the other spouse of any chance at that experience of intimacy. Your spouse fervently believes they are living one kind of life, not aware that they are actually living something entirely different. You become a fake, a phony, a fraud - true intimacy cannot withstand that.
If you are awaiting a tryst with a lover, or have just come from one, and you have a little smile on your face - what do you say when your spouse asks you what you're so happy about? Or if an affair has come to an end, and you are sad, you cannot share the pain with your most intimate partner.
Everything you say and do must be passed through a filter, to make sure your secret is safe. You must look your beloved in the eye and lie.
Someone who can do this to the one they love most in the world is capable of great dishonesty with the greater world. It IS an indicator of character.
557
Where did you get the idea that the transactional marriage of the Trumps has anything to do with love? It is an arranged marriage. The arrangement is that she gets to live the lifestyle she dreamed of as long as he gets to have her as arm candy and "never has to say I'm sorry" about his sexual or other transgressions. She has her way in raising their son and decorating their home; he does as he pleases. She has to remain slim and fit, too, of course.
I wonder what her bonus was last year for moving to the White House? It must have been pretty generous.
8
Thanks you....beautifully put.
2
Your point about intimacy is powerful but...not all marriages are monogamous by choice and sometimes the policy is don’t ask, don’t tell. This is common among gay male couples. And then there are the difficult cases of married bisexual men who don’t or can’t tell their wives they also need physical intimacy with men. These men aren’t happy about the duplicity but it seems better than hurting their wives who no matter how much they love their husbands can’t give them that needed male contact. It’s a very difficult moral dilemma.
1
To explain and define women's - and men's - sexual mores in the 90's and the decades before and after, to me is a misuse of our gray matter when compared to the actual "deeds done." And right up there with sexual exploitation and harassment is adultery. And, yes, I know of Clinton's trespasses, and, yes, rightfully so his reputation was tarnished. It is a shame because I feel that he had what it took to be a very fine president and leader except for his philandering.
But if there are degrees, Trump leads the pack. Thrice married, two divorces thanks to his wandering eyes and hands, and now this. If one is to take every thing into account, we are experiencing a lying, cheating, bigoted, corrupt man. Frankly, he makes my skin crawl. Yet, life goes on for his supporters. He is forgiven in the "confessional" of his followers, with no 10 Hail Mary's or any other penance, and certainly never, never Mea Culpas on his part. I do not know what is in the hearts and souls of his Congress, Cabinet, and voters. But if I were to take a peek, I'm pretty sure I would not like what I see.
19
Perhaps the first step in a cultural change is becoming aware of the need for change. Sadly, Bill Clinton and Donald Trump were not the first presidents
using the power of their office to take advantage of women. The press colluded with other presidents, and the public only knew about these indiscretions after the fact. That we are seeing outrage , rather than silence and acceptanc, to me is an indication that the times they are a changing.
89
But there is no outrage over Trump's peccadilloes, just move along folks, nothing here.
The Fake President's wide swath of licentiousness, including alleged sexual assaults, has already negatively impacted him and his Party, as revealed in national polling and recent electoral results in Virginia, New Jersey, and other locations, particularly amongst suburban female voters and the college educated. Add to that the promiscuous Daniels/Drake Affairs (and probably others awaiting discovery), tawdry and hurtful public humiliations for Melania, and one can envision a voting bloc of revulsion cast against all Republicans in the proxy 2018 midterms. Trump may, as he often boasts, be able to "shoot" someone on Fifth Avenue and suffer no consequences, but at his great political peril he systemically beds people other than his spouse, and without the slightest sign of regret or contrition. This could be that Achilles's heal that accelerates the peeling away of his sacred "base", and the resulting abandonment of him by Congressional Trumpsters.
5
"I agree with Flanagan that the bad behavior Grace described doesn’t rise to the level of assault or harassment"
You are probably right about that. The problem is that you can draw a straight line from that low-grade sense of entitlement that tells a guy he can and should keep pressing past a woman's objections and reluctance to sex on a date, to Harvey Weinstein. Because what are the Weinstein's of the world, if not precisely that sense of entitlement writ large, and backed up by lots and lots of power and money.
I agree that we can't cry "assault" for every instance of caddish behavior on a date. But if we don't call it out, call it what it is---essentially nascent Weinstein-ism---then it will continue to evolve into a sexual power dynamic where the stakes are much higher.
3
Trump is the harvest of years of moving the US society back to the moral standards of the 1700s.
In a time in which you need a pre coital agreement confirmed by at least one lawyer for each partner involved just to find a new partners for having sex and in which every thought of bodily contacts is being scrutinized by the public and in which a consensual interaction runs the risk of becoming rape a few days later on because one of the persons involved changes his/her mind later on, Trump is no more than a way to project his supporters fantasies.
In a time like this, a person like Trump, who lives the dream of taking it all at his leisure, lives the secret and not so secret dream of the less political correct of his voters.
Which does not change anything in the way one still will rate his sexual "adventures" but al least explains why people still have no problem voting for him.
He has become a projection of the sexual fantasies of his supporters.
Which tells you more about this part of US society, at least a voting majority, than about Trump.
Trump is the way he has always been but his supporters have finally found someone who the share their fantasies with.
Something that would never work for Hillary Clinton or Bernie Sanders.
1
How about the young lady saying "I'm outs here" rather than coming up with some after the fact flimsy story which sounds as if it could be nothing to see here. However, Ansari could take a hit over something which hit the young lady as uncomfortable after the fact.
1
Perhaps, after all is said and done, we do get the government we deserve. I would be loathe to admit that, but it seems to be true. Until enough good men in Congress ( is that an oxymoron?) stand up to this man, what we are seeing is
the norm. And God help us all.
3
What we must remember is whatever this President is doing is trying to divide and conquer. There is overwhelming evidence he cares nothing about anything except how affects him and his bank account. How much more do people and our legislators need to know to kick him out of office at the least!
5
A lot more than his sexual exploits! We need to uncover PROOF of his nefarious deeds - collusion with Russia, shady deals, unlawful acts etc. his supporters don’t believe anything else. Each group of supporters care only about their agendas: coal miners getting their jobs back, -Catholics & Evangelicals- abortion. The heck with his behavior , our standing in the world, the environment, DACA, immigration ( no citizenship for any illegals - NO)equal pay for equal work, & so many important things outside of ourselves. We have arrived at a destination that is so wrong - we are better than this.
Bill Bennett apparently forgot all about that book, which I often see at charity book sales and in the book section of my local Goodwill store. The following quote from early in the book about the Lewinsky story is wonderfully ironic in retrospect:
"In the seven months since the story first broke, we have gradually seen illusions give way too reality, as finally they must. What have been revealed, through this scandal and others, are the worst elements of Bill Clinton's private and public character: reckless and irresponsible private behavior; habitual lying; abuse of power. Bill Clinton is a reproach. He has defiled the office of the presidency of the United States" (5).
4
I agree with your article, but disagree with your proposed inception point. Didn't it all start with Ben Franklin getting it on with everything that moved, Alexander Hamilton doing the same and Thomas Jefferson raping his slaves.
Conservatives love to talk about the intent of the founding fathers. Well, what do you think the intent of Franklin, Hamilton and Jefferson would be on such topics?
3
It has been such a chore existing as a sexual being in a society which has no idea what the courtship rituals should be, let alone the rules, if any, of sexuality itself. For me as a heterosexual male, the rituals have seemed to vary from one encounter to the next.
So far as I know, I have managed to avoid criminal behavior in the many and varied searches to find individuals with whom to share the joy genetic selection gave us to help induce perpetuation of the species. But only the Almighty knows how many women I have offended in my pursuits. Or how I have offended them.
Where the GOP stands on sex has long been clear. It is and has always been dependent on the ability to use it as a political club against ones enemies. For friends, it is the Edwin Edwards rule of not getting, "...caught in bed with either a dead girl or a live boy."
So with Trump, Republicans will need at least video. Some would question anything short of a live broadcast before invited guests. Some wouldn't be moved to be critical, even if they were in the audience. GOP morality hasn't changed.
For the rest of us, the changes mean accepting that, "No!" means "No", no matter what the subtext might be. It also means a woman you might offend may try to tell the world what a cad you are.
I think sexuality remains a messy way to perpetuate the species. Physically, it is joyous. In every other way, it's just nuts.
5
I won't judge Mr. Ansari on this. Maybe he thinks he did ask her and that she gave assent. Maybe she doesn't remember other parts of their interaction. A single story shared anonymously that is based on a dividing line in the moment between clear and implied consent shouldn't condemn someone. But behaviors like the ones Grace alleges need to be condemned if true.
If you assume her story was true than Ansari was more than a boor. He did not ask his partner if she wanted to have oral or vaginal sex and he tried to proceed without her consent. A reasonable sexual interaction is just that -- a two way street where both partners confirm actively that their passions and desire are shared. By that definition,this was not consensual, at least not in the context of lack of a long term relationship where desires and non-verbal communication are established.
I understand very little about our collective morality anymore.
Donald Trump has his words from the 2005 tape, has repeatedly cheated on his wives, has many women coming forward claiming he was, at a minimum, sexually aggressive if not assaultive, and has made numerous remarks indicating his disdain for women. No problem, say his supporters, 35-40% of whom are women--it's all liberal lies and locker room talk. When the Stormy Daniels thing came out a couple of days ago, it was met with a big shrug. Nobody seemed even mildly surprised, let alone outraged, even though this is our president.
On the other hand, virtually everything alleged about a number of other successful men has been assumed to be entirely true and has effectively been a death sentence for their careers. Almost daily we see another allegation, with some, like the recent Aziz Ansari story, being little more than an anonymous, unsourced accounting that leaves the accused zero chance to defend himself.
Our nation seems to be engaged in a tug of war between shameful blind eye turning (to Trump) and the Salem male witch hunt (for everybody else).
Given this environment, I am thankful for two things. First, I am in a committed relationship with a wonderful woman, so my risk of being accused of anything untoward is reduced. Second, the women in my office actually hug me more now, joking that these are "consensual moments of genuine affection" and that no legal release for my behavior is needed.
390
Your touching comment has made my day! I applaud the women in your office who have perspective about these "interesting" times. Genuine, affectionate hugs shouldn't be forbidden, and your female employees have a sense of humor to boot! Good for them and you.
2
Even Senator Graham is falling for the dark side. He admits that Trump is bad in almost every aspect but goes along with him because he likes his policies.
I think that Trump's policies include his policy of lying and demanding that people like Cotton and Purdue lie for him. If lies succeed what happens; it is shown to be a successful technique and more will do it. Human nature follows success.
Our country is in deep trouble.
4
Bravo. You speak for what I hope are the majority of American husbands.
1
Can it get any worse? You bet it can. Unless there are a sufficient number of good men and (a few )good women in Congress, this moral tragedy will not end--- more disclosures, more irrational behaviors, more efforts to support the unsupportable... who will have any desire to lead this great nation following such debasement to the office and who will wish to lead a country of fools who elected him?
8
In the run-up to the presidential debates in 1976, Gov. Jimmy Carter let it out that he had great respect for the presidency but not for its incumbent, Gerald Ford. It was a swipe about pardoning Richard Nixon, not the personal qualities of the president. In response, the nation made a collective gasp at the effrontery of the upstart from Georgia. But enough about those quaint times and our nation getting the vapors.
Today, we have to deal with racism and misogyny on a daily basis coming from the highest elective office. Whether thinly veiled or naked in their pride, these terms and stories march across the news feeds unhindered by even civility. (We gave up on polite a long way back.)
The idea of the president having multiple extramarital affairs, even consensual ones, causes at most a ripple. The private life of a public figure used to be off limits to the legitimate press unless there was a pressing public issue involved or the story literally emerged from the DC Tide Pool. (Yes, I’m looking at you, Wilbur Mills.)
Scandals used to be scandalous. No more. Now they emerge every week with desensitizing regularity. We are collectively suffering from outrage fatigue.
Where’s the handle we can push to flush this all down the hole?
373
Outrage fatigue! It might be wise to accept human sexual behavior for what it is and not for what some folk might like it to be. Nature's concern is the reproduction of the species and Nature is blind to the niceties of accomplishing this goal. The long human gestation period and the years it takes to raise a child justify society's attempts to keep the human sex drive in check. The adolescent's hormonal sex drive, however, refuses to be ignored. Nature doesn't want to wait for him to complete high school, go to college and get a post graduate degree before losing his virginity and masturbation is only a short time answer to prolonged celibacy. Expecting the married male's sex drive to be reserved for one wife (at a time) is also unnatural and unreasonable. Couples should decide for themselves whether or not to have an "open" marriage and women, in particular, must recognize that sex and love are NOT the same thing. Men already know this and that is why they wander. Women ARE sex objects when the men's hormones go into play. This is nature's way, the way that is and not the way some folk would like it to be. Accept it - don't judge it.
All of us, however, can use a little self-control and if we want respect from others we must respect them as well.
The sleaze goes largely unremarked because we have bigger fish to fry -- like defending the vestiges of democracy as the Sleazeball-in-Chief tries to take us off the rails. Not due to some ideological motive, but from his sheer wretchedness, which he excels at spreading onto others, including the entire world.
The handle (or whatever) it takes to signify your vote for Democrats in the 2018 and 2020 elections is what it will take to turn this ship of state toward the center, where members of government will engage in a cordial partnership and actually govern. (I wish.)
2
What amazes me in this discussion of the Me Too movement is the absence of any discussion of race and the ways in which hyper sexuality has been used to depict men of color, especially black men.
As an African American, I grew up hearing stories of the false accusations of rape and sexual assault thrown at the Scottsboro boys and Emmett Till.
Whats curious to me is that I see a group of (mostly white) women going after a person of color for something that does not even constitute sexual assault without any recognition of the long history in the US of weaponizing such allegations to incarcerate or even kill black men. This, of course, does not discredit the Me Too movement, but it does raise the question as to why we are so quick to "believe" the women when anyone who has read a US history book knows that this can lead to catastrophic consequences. It seems like the Left applies a Jeff Sessions "law and order" paranoia to sexual assault that is completely out of whack with its belief in due process. Yes, this is "the court of public opinion" and not an actual court, but it too should have some rules of evidence for goodness sake. Instead, I am reminded of the McCarthy era––there were some Soviet agents in the government, but people accused of being communist agents had careers or reputations ruined in an authoritarian lynch mob with total intolerance for any criticism. Maybe instead of "believing" the women we should take their allegations seriously. There is a difference.
5
Another sizzling headline to an opinion piece. Under consideraton? Trump's business doing pleasure. The old idea that the man serves the business world and the woman makes the home turned out to be a model that was simpler in theory than it was in practice. People turned to God for help with this, with uncertain effect. Yet the model remains the dream of many. May their dreams come true. As to those who who insist that others conform to their standards, I hear you, and wish you well.
Yes, the president is simply repulsive and out of the norm.
As to Ansari, and the rest of us women and men, there used to be this great thing called "manners." Manners were a set of culturally agreed upon rules. Children learned them when they were young. They had to do with treating others with respect and dignity ("others" as in every man, woman and child you encountered regardless of the situation), learning to recognize and then not crossing boundaries, and not hurting feelings.
Manners....
6
Whatever the argument, the analysis or the spin, it points to a decline of public morality. The system throws up Trump to punctuate that point. And the system is in structural decline to get him into the front page in the first place. No point describing the trees if we cannot see the forest.
2
Close. Trump is, in the end, just a scapegoat. Everything we've done. Everything we've tolerated to be done. The rapid and largely unregulateded saturation of our culture by the internet. The death of privacy. The coarsening of our discourse. Our wealth worship and ravenous consumerism. Not unpredictably, an insecure "bridge and tunnel" kid raised by a Klan member with several million bucks at his disposal crashed Manhattan's elite social circles, built name recognition and ultimately a valuable brand by attracting and manipulating local media coverage, parlayed that brand into a licensing business, and became a national media figure by pretending to be the successful business man he never was. America made Trump. He's no random mutation. He's the direct and eminently predictable product of a culture so morally unmoored, so addled by misguided ambition and unrequited wealth fantasies, that it elected as leader a reality television personality. He's precisely what we deserve.
10
Very true! But now what? If we don’t get cracking our “great Experiment - Democracy” will be no more. Like other empires ( British, Roman etc) we will destroy our great nation. We need a plan of change. If ever there was a need for a third party, a national movement, a peaceful revolution - it is now!
If you have self respect then you also respect others, "do unto others as you would have them do unto you". This has always been the guiding principle of my social interactions. When the other says no it clearly means to stop whatever you are doing that illicit-ed the no. But then where does that leave persuasion? We are supposedly allowed to use persuasion to change the others opinion, so that leaves the gray area of where to stop trying to persuade. The sex drive is one of the strongest urges in the human, second only to survival. It is understandable then that the urge to persuade is strong also. But it is not acceptable to cross that line of doing to someone else what you would not want done to you. Here is where a clear line of communication is important. We should raise our daughters to express themselves without hesitation about their sexual desires, and we should raise our sons to respect their wishes. Both of these behaviors can only be accomplished if our sons and our daughters are raised to respect themselves. It is the fault of our society that we do not show the will to see that all parents live in a safe and humane environment conducive to teaching children the value of self respect. The inequality of wealth in this country is the root cause of this problem. Those with more than they use care not for those with less than they need.
3
I take issue with "Liberals, in general, can’t work up much outrage, because the encounter ... was ... consensual." Nobody, liberal or conservative, cares much about private, consensual adult behavior. In fact we expect it of celebrity adults like Mr. Trump. What we do ask for though is honesty. As in: "Oh, yeah, that's how I choose to behave," not sneaking around or fake moralistic posturing and denial. Or paid cover-ups.
Save the outrage for coercion. (Which, liberals and conservatives surely agree, is always reprehensible.) And which Mr. Trump has admitted to.
3
When even the deeply religious people succumb to the attractions of relative morality, I think we can say that the Christian Right has pretty much lost.
5
There is nothing wrong with moral superiority, as long as it is sincere and not just a negative catch phrase. Someone has to set the example.
2
Many Americans, both progressives and many conservatives, have been pushing for a secular society, for several decades. Secular is defined as attitudes and values that have no religious or spiritual basis. Apparently that goal has been achieved. If there is no God centered foundation for a culture then there can be no absolute right or wrong. What may be seen as horrible conduct today may be seen as acceptable next year and the opposite is true. It all depends on who is making the rules at any one time and who becomes the rule maker is constantly changing.
God is not a necessary foundation for societal standards of right and wrong.
4
So, Aaron, is a secular society somehow worse than people who falsely claim the mantle of religion while spurning its teachings? I would suggest that we would be way better off spurning hypocritical religion.
Or better, simly choose religion, atheism or anything between for oneself while having no say about others’ personal choices.
1
When my father, now 101, was a young father and I was a teenager, I was instructed that if a Lady says "no" she means "maybe;" if she says "maybe" she means "yes;" and if she says "yes" well, that means she is not a Lady.
As a young man, I quickly learned that my father was quite wrong. "No" meant "no," "yes" meant "yes," "maybe" meant "lets talk about it" and being a Lady had nothing to do with it. Under this system, I thought, women had freedom.
Now "no" means "no" and "yes" means "yes" but subject to a post hock review of context which may involve the internal uncommunicated feelings of one party or the other. Did I feel I had to? Was there a power relationship that could be inferred? Was I intimidated? Did I feel that I could not object?
We seem to be abandoning language in favor of . . . what? Emotional communication between people who are just getting to know one another is not very reliable.
7
As William Goldman wrote in All the President's Men, "Follow the money."
A hundred women?
Those bank records exist.
I wonder how many of those women live in states with Democratic AGs? I wonder how many reported the payoffs on their state taxes?
Follow the money.
I wonder if Trump took money from the RNC to make those payments, or from his family foundation?
Follow the money.
18
The Ansari/Grace story is a bit much for me, as it seems to further convey that women are helpless and should be submissive. i am not excusing Ansaris behavior, but with all this stress that Grace describes throughout the date, I have to ask: could she have left whenever she wanted?
6
We need women in the lead. We need them in all societal areas. Not leading by themselves, but beside men. We all need to lead.
I see women's fierceness straight-on the powerful forces aligned to combat breast cancer and sexual harassment/assault. Good for them. Good for us.
My dream is to see women so committed, so strong, so noble as to lead us into the morass of solving poverty and inequality. We've been led astray, partly by the women missing in leadership positions. We need your vision.
Solving poverty and inequality, giving all people good and decent lives, jobs, housing, education, health care, etc. This is our moral imperative. We need everyone speaking, listening, helping: the common good, the more perfect union, the love of all.
3
I can't be outraged, because Trump has always made a show of his pursuit of women and what happens after he catches them as long as he's been in the public eye. New Yorkers of a certain age can still remember his reveling in ongoing coverage in the NY Post of his "relationship" with Marla Maples while still married to Ivana. As I recall, one of the on-the-record interviews involved how great the sex was with her. (The two divorced after what even for Trump was a short marriage; during the election, Maples said she had a nondisclosure agreement with her ex, that if she spoke about his character, she'd lose her alimony & child support.)
4
I admit that this is a tedious trope, but I simply can never get past comparing the reaction from the right to Trump's misdeed to what their reaction would've been had Barack Obama done the same. Imagine, had we learned in late 2008 that Obama had paid hush money to an adult film star with whom he had an affair. Imagine, had Obama brought his pregnant unmarried teenage daughter and her thuggish "fiance" to the 2008 Democratic convention. Imagine, had Obama paraded five children by three different women across the stage of that same convention. The list goes on and on on.
Most distressing, however, is the almost certain knowledge that such hypocrisy is not dead; it is simply dormant until we know the next Democratic nominee. The right will revive their evangelical-fueled condemnations, and the Fox-addicted audience will eat it up as always.
The more things change, the more they stay the same.
1540
Of course, but you need not compare the right's behavior about Trump to what they would do about Obama--we can already see the contradiction with Clinton. The right would never have sought to expel a Republican president with Clinton's scandals.
3
I would add Hillary Clinton in comparing what the right's reaction would be.
You forgot to mention that it is all about race. As long as you are entitled you can say that you don't remember what was said in a meeting where everyone heard something different but united they stand to defend this very sick president.
3
The hush money allegedly paid to Ms. Daniels is important because it takes us one step closer to firming up the credibility of the Steele dossier and Russia's possible blackmail of Trump.
When you put together Trump's own words on the "Billy Bush bus", his willingness to serially cheat on Mrs. Trump (to whom he was newly married at the time of this encounter) and his prior affairs when married to his now ex-wives is it really a bridge too far to disbelieve the dossier's allegations about Trump and prostitutes in a Russian hotel room?
So, yes, the hush money is just what we'd expect of Trump and his fixers, be they Kasowitz or Cohen. But the body of evidence to suggest that Trump's incredibly poor judgment may have resulted in his ensnarement by Russian intelligence (read:Putin) takes his garden-variety immorality to a whole new level - the possible compromise of the leader of the free world.
14
I remember William Bennett.
"In 2003 it became publicly known that Bennett was a high-stakes gambler who lost millions of dollars in Las Vegas."
He is definitely a moral leader.
11
There's just so much bad "big data" on this president that us humans shrug it now because we simply can't process it all.
Plus, Trump has made us all doubt facts by lying fake news at every occasion and a chorus of right wing media backing his claims.
So don't judge us for letting this one go. We are victims of a manipulation strategy that's far bigger than us.
The silence from the Evangelical leadership is deafening. Come to think of it...refreshing too. Let's hear no more from those who preach one thing while silently accepting something different. They endorsed the serial philanderer knowing full well his history. He is their guy and a better pairing has yet to be seen. That I can tell you.
6
Amen. The evangelical endorsement of our pathetic President has confirmed once and for all the complete moral bankruptcy of that movement.
2
Trump has always used his money as an empowerment to muzzle the many abuses he has either leveled on his female victims or his affairs. This sense of privilege was always going to undermine the good intentions of our cultural revolutions. They couldn't compete with these buyouts; and, the women decided to forgo any responsibility and take the hush money instead. Money talks and morality rides in the backseat of inconvenient truth.
2
Trump's abuse victims, like all victims, should be heard and should be applauded. They give courage to other victims. I was repeatedly molested by my aunt when i was a small child. I felt so alone, and wish this movement had happened years ago. Maybe i would have felt able to speak up, and would have endured less pain. Many will be surprised as more men begin to come forward with stories like mine. Boys make up 1/3 of child victims. They and their attackers should not be ignored.
9
Did Bennett ever offer an opinion about Newt Gingrich's adultery while his wife was dying?
I also wonder what are the distinctions between conservative and liberal politicians these days. One difference appears to be that conservatives believe that they are above both the law and the spirit of the law. But freely use law and the spirit of the law to bludgeon anyone they dislike.
6
This sounds a lot like feminism being defined as opposing whatever Republicans are saying about sexual mores at any given time. Feminism had better be more than simply opposition to certain powerful men, or to men in general. If all you can do is react to conservatives, you're not setting an agenda.
.
The greatest problem with the story about Aziz Ansari is that it is all about him, and judging his actions. Feminism needs to be about women taking charge of their own lives, not simply reacting to the actions of men. How are men supposed to embrace feminism when women like Grace are so passive and reactive? Why didn't she decide what she wanted and take it? I really don't care to hear what she thinks Ansari should have done better. If Grace is a modern feminist, then modern feminism is a dead end.
2
Trying to equate Trump’s behaviour with Clinton’s is beside the point. The white, Christian male is loosing his dominance over America and his socially conservative, anti gay marriage, anti woman’s rights, anti gun controls, anti pollution controls is a loosing cause. The Evangelicals are growing older and the millennials are not taking up their cause. Trump is their last, best hope for temporarily clinging to the vestiges of their former glory. They dare not condemn him for his immorality. He is perceived as carrying their standard and they cannot afford their colours to fall to the ground. Time, demographics, & gravity alone will, however, prove their downfall.
5
Republicans and Democrats don't show much outrage over Trump's bad behavior because there is just too much bad behavior to be angry about and it is all about power and the economy. First, the 24-hour news cycle has become the Trump news cycle and I think everyone is just tired. His bad behavior has made people numb. It is almost as if everyone knows he is a joke and we are just waiting until he is out of office in 2020 for America to become normal again. Two, in the modern world the economy is so bad for middle and lower class Americans that they just are trying to get by. If Trump can deliver that, they will look past all sorts of problems. In addition, if Trump can deliver pride in one's race and country, they will look past all sorts of indiscretions. Pride in one's race and country for some makes up for the economic suffering.
235
Trump is not adding pride to either my race or my country.
7
Perhaps repubs are sick of having to play by a different set of rules. What Trump has done in terms of his sexual dalliances pales in comparison to Clinton. To date, no one has suggested that Trump is utilizing the oval office in the same way. So the right is resistant to being manipulated by the left's #metoo movement, which they see as another example of fake outrage and strategery.
That the source of the metoo movement is Hollywood further undermines its credibility. This afterall is the industry where its most famous movie and perhaps its most famous line is provided in the context of a 60-year-old director having a sexual relationship with an underage child actress. And that's the movie the right finds the least offensive in terms of pushing leftist ideals.
They know that absent Trump, sex in Hollywood will go back to being business as usual. We all do if we are honest with ourselves.
Republicans let Trump get away with 'bad behavior' because they know and have always known he is a clown. But he's their clown and he's popular with their core supporters. As long as he lets right-wing Republicans deliver their agenda, Trump will continue to garner their support which includes their slavish display of veneration regardless his behavior. But this is something right-wingers got good at during W's tenure when 'if you're not with us, you're against us' was the marching order.
Another thought, I not think Trump is beneath collecting Kompromat on his friends and supporters in congress and the cabinet. He might even have an entire offshore spy agency willing to help endeavor. Question: If the Trump Campaign created a secret back channel to Putin, would we know about it?
3
I love that when the “morally superior” William Bennett expressed disgust at Bill Clinton’s behavior in his ‘98 book, many leading Congressional Republicans were engaging in similar transgressions. Still waiting for the sequel, Bill.
Bill Clinton didn’t pave the way for casual acceptance of Trump’s alleged affair with a porn star. Donald Trump did, by piling one outrage on top of another. Who’s got time to worry about presidents and porn stars?
15
The right or almost all republicans have no moral standing. Their actions don't match their rhetoric. Particularly galling is the support they get from the Evangelicals. Their stance on women's issues is archaic. Particularly on birth control and the morning after pill. Apparently they support the "Me Too" movement only when a Liberal male is involved. As Trump has implied, it's OK if conservatives deny.
18
The left and feminists lost all of their moral standing when they supported Clinton as it was revealed that he was using his power as President to seduce women far younger than him, then lying about it and accusing the victim of fabricating the story. That event remains a serious impediment to the #metoo movement today, as we remember how angry feminists and the elite left proved to be very situational in their ethics. So now we can all live together in our mutual hypocrisy.
"Still, Trump has reconciled reactionary politics with male sexual license. In doing so, he’s made such license easier for feminists to criticize."
I never want to hear another word from Gingrich, Falwell, Huckabee, or any one of the right's favorites moralscolds.
Their hypocrisy has a stench all of its own. We've entered a new Brave New World when one's "conservative agenda" justifies bad behavior is simply a price to be paid in exchange for pushing laws and regulations that remove a woman's right to control her own body.
454
"I agree with Flanagan that the bad behavior Grace described doesn’t rise to the level of assault or harassment"
This dates you. As I understand it young people today are taught the Yes means Yes rule; and under this rule, Ansari did commit assault.
20
No, he didn’t. He stopped when she said no.
7
Is that true? You write "as I understand it"-- that seems to suggest a peripheral knowledge?
I assume the writer is aware that they just accused an actual person by name of sexual assault in front of hundreds of thousands (maybe millions) of readers? Did the writer spend a lot of time mulling it over? Did they factcheck with the authorities (apparently young people in this case) to see if what they were saying was on target?
Journalists reporting on sexual assault and bringing critical attention to the issues have a responsibility because of their reputations and the publications they write for. Social media (and comments pages with anonymous "writers") on the other hand don't require that of their authors. Note Valenti's quote—which was in support of the idea that the encounter was not "okay"—did not do that. But here it was just a few clicks on a keyboard and boom.
If pursuing a man, going on a date, going up to his apartment afterward and taking off your clothes equals "no" then there is something seriously wrong with the way young women understand dating and sexual dynamics. When "Grace" did say "no" Ansari stopped. There was no assault. He respected her boundaries when she finally got around to verbalizing them. It's what adults do.
7
What Bennet said about Bill Clinton does not apply to Trump. "Clinton’s promiscuity, he argued, implicated his fitness for governing."
Bill Clinton did it in the Oval Office as President and as Governor, in a course of conduct lasting years.
Donald Trump was a partying playboy. He seems to have had a deal with his wife during her pregnancy too, which is when this happened. https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/04/donald-melania-trump-marriage
There are no stories that he has contineued that way while President, mis-using the power of the office.
There is nothing to like about Trump in this, but it is completely unlike what Bill Clinton did.
60
I think you're missing the point - "Clinton’s promiscuity, he argued, implicated his fitness for governing: “Chronic indiscipline, compulsion, exploitation, the easy betrayal of vows, all suggest something wrong at a deep level — something habitual and beyond control". The same applies to Trump, whether or not he does it on the taxpayers dime isn't relevant. It's who and what he is.
10
No its not. Its the same behaviour with different timing. you draw weird and arbitrary lines around it to justify trump's behaviour as acceptable and clinton's as not acceptable.
10
In terms of the morality, ethics, decency, the women involved, the difference between using the power of one's wealth, position, celebrity, and that if political office is a distinction without a difference.
If Trump treats the women closest to him, his wives, in this manner, repeatedly, serially, what can the rest of us expect from him?
5
On my personal list of Donald Trump's hundred biggest outrages, this consensual, if adulterous, liaison comes in at number #103. No, make that #104, right after that fox-pelt he has velcroed to his scalp. My disgust here would be leveled at Bill Bennett and other such hypocritical advocates of "family-values." Please, Lord, let us never hear from them again!
488
We will most certainly hear from them again, as soon as a candidate wins the required delegates for the 2020 Democratic nomination. To think otherwise is to overlook their history. One would think a serial adulterer like Gingrinch would hold his cousel, but his own words and deeds show otherwise.
There is far too much money to be made on the conservative media circuit to let their opponents off the hook because to not do so would be hypocritical or opportunistic.
8
Amen! They are holier than the rest of us!
2
I just watched I'm Not Your Negro on PBS. It ripped me apart. I was filled with dread and shame for the way black people have been treated in this country. Most of the film showcases scenes from the turbulent 60's.
Fast forward to today. We have the nation's paper of record publishing articles and editorials about bad dates, and consensual sex. We need to get our priorities straightened out. This is what happens when a society lives in a virtual world inside our cell phones.
475
Can we walk and chew gum at the same time?
3
@Bruce Rozenblit: The "paper of record" also reports daily on how Trump's racism is reshaping immigration, unleashing hatred across the country, and trashing America's reputation throughout the world -- in addition to other myriad aspects of his inept and corrupt administration.
The NY Times is right to cover all these issues, including the hypocrisy of the GOP regarding politicians and sex scandals in this article.
4
We are an incredibly self absorbed nation thinking we are the center of the Universe. Navel gazers.
1
Yet another reason to see Trump's tax returns. Here's what we can anticipate:
Under Business Expenses:
Marketing & Brand Consulting: Stormy Daniels ($130,000) and 99 other NDAs (see "Bannon: campaign expenses" for total)
Marketing Intelligence: GRU Fancy Bear (see "Manafort: misc laundry charges" for total)
Financial Restructuring: Deutsches Bank / some Russian guys in black leather jackets (see "Kushner: his dad's bright idea")
Cash Flow Management: (see "Felix Sater: Bayrock")
Charitable expenses: (see: Trump Foundation donations to Trump hotels, Trump golf courses and some women in Moscow, and that's not me in those fake p-tapes)
351
Not every allegation is true.
Anyone who has sat through a trial knows how one side's truth seems less clear after the other side speaks.
No decent reporter goes with a single-source allegation.
This issue, of sexual predation, deserves deeper thought than social media usually generate.
69
You are correct, not every allegation is true. However, when a reputable newspaper reports something, there is a good likelihood it is accurate. The payoff was reported by The Wall Street Journal. This is a reputable news outlet that is not generally accused of "liberal bias."
13
But trumps reputation precedes him.
3
"Not every allegation is true."
Unless it's about a Democrat. And that goes double if her name is Clinton. Right?
5
Trump’s dealings with women echoes his general behavior. Trump has always been a character in a real life melodrama in which we are the audience and extras. He is the caddish leading man who does whatever he wants. If he is caught he has his lawyers deal with the fallout or attacks his opponents or lies about whatever he did or all of the above. Every day we tune in to marvel at the latest plot twist and are shocked, shocked. As long as Trump can scare his Republican allies, feed red meat to his base and delegitimize the press this reality show will have a long run.
211
Yes, but...
What is going on with our”Government” behind the scenes?
1
No "ethics" have been "killed," just because that phraseology suits some prefab narrative serving no real purpose except the indirect (and ethically questionable) normalization of a monumentally shameful American disaster.
Trump has (1) unethically kept his tax returns hidden, and by all indications (2) violated the emoluments clause of the Constitution, and appears likely that the first is, in part, in order to cover up the second.
And the Democrats in Congress are too weak, spineless and/or too addicted to inane political correctness to press him on it.
171
The first two things are true but the third point is not; reading the email-newsletter posts from Senator Harris and Feinstein--there is a lot they are doing to pass legislation and stop Trump and Republicans one-party assault on democracy.
104
Yes. The Dems are in the minority. Do you think the GOP has any responsibility to support the Constitution at all? Or is it all the fault of the minority?
8
I think the Republicans take the spineless award. No outrageous action,sexual or racially bigoted or any untruth I has been questioned by the majority in Congress. Where is integrity? Political expediency has now replaced reason and even law.
6
Sad to say, but people are getting either bored or accustomed to whatever obnoxious behavior by the "president" is revealed next. They know he will lie and deny, they know he will try to deflect and attack the media, HRC, Mueller or whoever and whatever else happens to be handy. I think it's safe to say that most are convinced that, if put under oath, he'd still lie, and his GOP sycophants will nod in agreement, and at the best term it as "unhelpful". Remember this November, and put the shackles on this poser.
500
"His lying is as compulsive as Clinton's"
That's a cheap shot! djt is a sleazy racist and compulsive liar beyond compare.
Read Nicholas Kristoff's, "Clinton’s Fibs vs. Trump’s Huge Lies" for a more balanced assessment of their respective honesty. "Trump has nine times the share of flat-out lies as Clinton." and that number has probably increased since last Nov.
https://www.nytimes.com/2016/08/07/opinion/sunday/clintons-fibs-vs-trump...
193
Really? I don't seem to recall 1600-plus 'deviations from the truth' from Clinton in all his 8 years. False 'equivalence' seems not to have even a numerical basis.
10
I hope you're not suggesting Bill Clinton's faults justify Donald Trumps'. Two wrongs don't make a right.
10
$130,000 for the cover-up plus how much to purchase consent to that consensual activity?
163
It was a 50/50 proposition, Half and half -
"If there’s a significant scandal, it will lie in the origins of the $130,000, or in other encounters Trump has covered up. There’s a sentence in Michael Wolff’s book 'Fire and Fury' that hasn’t gotten the attention it deserves. It comes toward the end, when Steve Bannon is praising Trump’s lawyer Marc Kasowitz: 'Kasowitz on the campaign — what did we have, a hundred women? Kasowitz took care of all of them.' "
Not only this, but there are rumors that Trump paid this hush-money out of federally-overseen campaign money through the RNC, thereby potentially opening him up wide to federal bribery charges and misappropriation of campaign funds.
821
Is the $130,000 tax deductible? Was a deduction taken? If it is not deductible and a deduction was taken, shouldn't someone go to jail?
8
Trump is so cheap. He used his Foundation to make illegal contributions to FL DA campaign. So maybe he very well did use campaign funds to payoff women. Mueller follow the money.
5
But, precisely who would be bringing these charges? Certainly not a justice department headed by Jeff Sessions. Certainly not any GOP-led committee in Congress. In these days when even the FBI is being sorted into pro-trump "loyal patriots" or anti-trump "deep state" subversives, where is justice? When "I don't recall" means "yes, that is true," whether from Sessions or Cotton or any other Republican with a dirty laundry hamper about to be overturned, and no one is left in the Senate to call a spade a spade, who will bring these charges?
1
I am embarrassed to admit that I once believed a word William Bennett said.
I thought Bennett actually cared about ethics, and character, and honor. That was my mistake, and I've hopefully learned from it.
204
He is known for gambling millions. .
Bill Bennett was and is a creep par excellance. He notoriously spent huge sums of money gambling while all the time ranting morally against Democratic, never Republican figures.
Gambling in and of itself is a moral issue that has long been debated. No one has ever said it is immoral NOT to gamble.
1
But then we also have all the other leaders who endorse Trump, Franklin Graham, Jerry Falwell Jr, Huckaby, Robert Jeffris, Pat Robertson and a multitude of righteous Christians who preach thinly veiled hate.
I can no longer think of any comment to make around the issue of sexual politics is to deplore the hypocrisy of the right and the left. Enough, already.
18
Will the 'moral majority' religious right condemn these actions, or just find another reason to keep supporting this man and his behavior ?
True moral convictions are expressed through action, not words.
156
Amazingly, it is not likely. How do “moral people” to reconcile such disparate “values” ?
4
They have already forgiven him!
1
Don't hold your breath. Their allegiance is faith based.
2
No mention of "professional moral scold William Bennett" can fully convey his hypocrisy without mentioning his addiction to high-stakes casino gambling.
I wonder how many hundreds of thousands of dollars he lost in Donald Trump's casinos.
394
William Bennett captures perfectly the fecklessness of the Republican stance. Whatever it takes to get the job done. Lie, cheat, steal--no morality here, folks. It suggests something wrong at a deep level—something habitual and beyond control….
292
"If it turns out there were payoffs to hide non-consensual behavior, there may be an uproar."
Not among Republicans.
352
The most informative part of the Stormy Daniels leaks was about the location of Trump's bone spurs.
63
The hypocracy of the "Christian" Right on the issue of Trump's sexual appetite & lercherousness is deafening. It is also appalling that those same people who try to control women's sexuality & their bodies by interfering with their reproductive rights defend Trump or are silent, for the most part.
Most Republicans have lost all moral authority to legislate what they say are moral issues, especially, abortion rights. And those "pro-life" women who support Trump are unfathomable. How can they respect themselves & support Trump.
688
Exactly. And they blame HRC for things her husband was accused of doing way back in the 1970s and 1980s!
3
For 80% of Evangelicals, character doesn't matter. Yes, deafening hypocrisy.
1
If you can believe there is an all knowing man in sky watching everything you do you can believe anything.
Another excellent column by Goldberg.
Let's add a little about President Trump's current wife, who also worked in the sex industry. She was a "model", and no, that does not mean she modeled clothes. When asked about this, Trump bragged about how beautiful she looked in the photos. She met Trump when she was working as an "escort". But the real kicker, in my opinion, is that as several have noted, the sort of visa she had at the time did not allow her to hold a paying job. Each time she renewed that visa she had to swear that she had not worked for money. I assume therefore that she did not pay the taxes she owed, and that perhaps payments from Trump and others were made in cash.
Remember also Trump's mother, who came here on a tourist visa and then illegally overstayed and also illegally worked. Then she got herself an anchor baby. Both women used their having relatives who were American citizens to themselves become citizens. Trump claims to not like this sort of thing at all.
But hey, Trump's complaints about immigrants are directed mainly at blacks and hispanics, and do not apply to white Europeans at all.
1448
Reminds me of a Paul Ryan’s war on Socual Security and Medicare after his family benefitted from SS survivor benefits after his father died.
Perfect case of pulling up the ladder once you’re on top.
592
Marvant, regarding Mary Trump, while at least one source indicates her citizenship status was apparently incorrectly documented in the 1940 United States census, no evidence suggests Donald Trump's mother was ever in violation of any immigration laws prior to her naturalization in 1942.
https://www.snopes.com/donald-trumps-mother-illegal-immigrant/
Obviously, Trump doesn't care about anyone but himself, but we should all be careful about the facts, even if our Toilet-In-Chief is happy to flush facts down his schiesse-hole.
5
Paul Ryan is something soft you don't want to step in...if you do you might as well throw away your shoes.
11
"“Chronic indiscipline, compulsion, exploitation, the easy betrayal of vows, all suggest something wrong at a deep level — something habitual and beyond control."
Has Ms. Goldberg really forgotten that when William Bennett published these words, he was a pathological gambling addict? Readers may wish to revisit the quote armed with that knowledge.
The moral rot and near-comical projection of conservatives and Republicans didn't start with Donald Trump and won't end with his imprisonment.
257
A payoff signals either guilt, or the perception of guilt, and the need for a cover up. Trump has two positions when he is caught red handed. He either starts a lawsuit or he has his attorney negotiate a payoff. No need to be introspective with that modus operandi. It’s a trumpism.
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Great case to try with Stormy Daniels as your key witness who allegedly executed a nondisclosure agreement. The two attorneys are barred from speaking and if subpoenaed to testify will claim attorney/client privilege. As much as DJT is a despicable human being, this smacks of another desperate attempt like the dossier. Come back when there is a real case.
1
upstate: courts have frequently held that agreements or contracts against public interest of those that obstruct justice are invalid and unenforceable.
5
I am neither a lawyer nor privy to the details of any relationship between Donald Trump and Stephanie Clifford a/k/a Stormy Daniels, but I have to ask: if a woman demands payment for not revealing embarrassing information about her affair with a man, is that demand not extortion and illegal?
44
She probably didn't 'demand' it; once Trump was aware she might go public, the money was offered to keep quiet. There's a difference.
13
Maybe it was a Trump offer to pay, not a stormy demand.
6
Please. I'm sure she didn't demand anything; it's more likely trump's lawyers fell all over themselves with an offer of hush money, and it probably is nmot the first or the only time.
5
I think we have to look beyond the blame game and "simple" norm setting to the underlying uncertainty and insecurity of being a human being - which we can exploit with power, or respond with compassion.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-pacific-heart/201801/cat-person...
11
There is a lot to be said for the"agreeable preliminaries," of the days of old.
12
The U.S. Constitution states in plain American English that Presidents can be impeached for committing acts of treason, bribery, or other high crimes and misdemeanors, which is simply another way of saying that an impeachable offense is anything that Congress says it is.
All this twaddle about Trump’s tweets and Flynn’s interactions with the Russians is beside the point and dangerous as it will likely lead to endless trials and few convictions with Trump remaining in office.
So what should we do? I would have Mueller and Democrats leave off from the question of “High Crimes” and seriously examine the question of “Misdemeanors.”
Misdemeanors for the purpose of impeaching Trump are anything Congress makes them out to be. They could include uncontrolled lying to the American people, present or former violations of the Mann Act, insulting Gold Star mothers, draft dodging, unpaid parking tickets, formerly operating a bogus university, tax cheating, acts of disrespect to slain CIA officers, anything at all including wearing a bad hairpiece that brings the Presidency into a condition of disgrace.
Jack Johnson and Chuck Berry were convicted under the Mann Act, albeit selectively and unfairly. Al Capone was finally gotten rid of for tax evasion. I don’t care which model Mueller chooses to pursue, as long as it’s soon.
135
Please visit billmoyers.com timeline and peruse the 600 documented contacts proving a long conspiracy between Trump and the Russians to steal the election. His fluke electoral college "victory" by 77,000 votes spread over 3 states proves that Russia's massive help was decisive.
4
Great idea, A. Stanton. Your way, his supporters can say "they're persecuting him for jaywalking!" and call for the violent overthrow of the government.
1
"They are, it seems to me, trying to impose new norms of consideration on a brutal sexual culture, without appealing to religious sanction or patriarchal chivalry." Also, as pointed out by another Times author, trying to make that imposition of norms without the facility of speaking words.
10
An excellent editorial, thank you. It really is amazing isn't it?!
19
I can not see how so called Christ Followers could vote for Trump in the first place. But then I couldn't see how they could vote for Obama and his thoughts on policies. So let us face it there is a big cultural move going on at all levels of America. If you do bad things morally you will be given a pass and allowed to go hold public office.
The end of Empire is written all over this nation. We are morally bankrupt like so many of Trump's businesses.
29
Don’t hear conservatives moaning about moral relativism any more, do we? Must not be on Fox’s broadcast agenda these days.
102
It would seem that money absolves the careless rich of all their sins.
74
Along with a non disclosure agreement
2
And not just the careless ones.
Anything goes as long as you're a Republican.
Michelle, Paul Krugman has provided us with the all-purpose acronym that comes in handy for situations like this: I.O.K.I.Y.A.R. (It's O.K. If You're a Republican).
Keeping this in mind helps avoid whiplash when one hears all the pious radical rightists that used to bray on and on about 'character counts' stroking djt's ego in unison - 'character counts' was obviously just a fund-raising slogan and commercial-selling cry for Faux Noise Machina's 24/7 foghorn of miasma.
But we should keep in mind that we are witnessing epic sedition, as an entire party and a cadre of aides and handlers are conspiring to perpetrate a fraud upon the public (throwing their sworn Oaths to the wind) to conceal the instability of His Unhinged Unraveling Unfitness.
Which is when it is helpful to remember that there were no political parties when the Founders composed the Impeachment language in the Constitution.
296
Permanent political parties, which control participation in government, and the rules governing elections, have done nothing but harm to our country. The demise of both major parties can't come too soon.
4
Brad - The key to unlocking the parties' stranglehold could well be enlarging the House of Representatives, as Bruce Bartlett (Reagan veteran) discusses, and as George Washington (talk about Founders' Intent !) insisted upon:
https://economix.blogs.nytimes.com/2014/01/07/enlarging-the-house-of-rep...
The Constitution specifies 1 Representative for each 30,000 people (not voters, not citizens, but people) which was limited by Congressional law in the 20th century.
If we ever won the lottery, we'd try to prove Congress's arbitrary law on Apportionment is unconstitutional - would be nice if some Billionaire would take up the cause :)
A much larger House would dilute the power of special interests, and decrease the power of the current 2 parties.
5
R. Law--
Article One, Section2, does not specify that there be 1 representative for each 30,000 people-- it specifies that the NUMBER of representatives SHALL NOT EXCEED more than 1 per 30,000. --A little bit of a difference.
Decreasing the power of the current 2 parties ( I think there are at least 15 in Texas) would not occur. The only thing that would change would be the already out of hand back-room dealing. And slicing large urban areas into smaller slices, as small rural districts would change not at all. There would just be more of them.
I certainly hope that you don't want that 1:30,000 ratio because having 10,333 representatives in D.C. would have most of the country suicidal. Mentioning, in-passing, an Electoral College of 10,433 (and increasing after every census) would be near impossible to comprehend. The abject horror, everyday and seven times on Monday, would put me in a coma.
Imagine what just a doubling of representatives would do. Twice as many staff, twice the cost of supporting them, trying to house them all. The obstacles would be impossible to live with.
I wish I had a magic wand to make everything better, but I suspect that everyone would want one and we would be right back to where we are now.
Trump is just trying to make America great again. Let's get back to the good old days when powerful men could do, and get away with anything they wanted vis-a-vis women. Can't blame him for that. After all, his idol Putin has a love child with a former Russian gymnast living in Switzerland, and look at how great Russia is.
But some words to the wise for the #METOO generation of feminists. Stay true to the principles of fairness. Al Franken was railroaded out of the Senate partially on the basis of anonymous accusations, possibly made by operatives working for Trump acolyte Roger Stone. (Or, maybe working for Putin. Who knows, anymore?) Franken asked for a hearing, and didn't get one. If this becomes the standard operating procedure the new wave of women's liberation, there will be a backlash which, from a purely realpolitic viewpoint, means a setback for the movement.
AND, your worst enemy might not turn out to be men at all, but other women, especially comfortably situated women. 53% of white women voted for Trump. Are you old enough to remember the name Phyllis Schlafly? If you don't, look her up. She was instrumental in killing the Equal Rights Amendment to the U.S. Constitution which would have ensured, among other things, equal pay for equal work. That was in the late 1970s, more than a generation ago. Does her ghost linger in today's suburbs?
907
You got it right re what happened to Franken--to the best of my knowledge it wasn't Stone exactly but a right-winger in L.A., working with Frank's accuser Tweeden, who likely is friendly with Stone.
12
Well said, Phillip. This woman thanks you.
8
I remember Phyllis.
6
Thank you for reminding us of the slimy faux-moralist, Bill Bennett. That his preaching only applies to liberals is exactly where the GOP, and its absurdly-tagged "conservatives" are today. And which brings us a Trump and his boot-licking defenders in Congress and on the air. Only winning matters. All's fair in war, but it wasn't war, it was disagreement and debate, until the GOP declared war on Americans who don't agree with them, i.e., most of us. They all must be defeated, exposed, trounced, if we want this to be a nation again.
402
You got that right. Remember, back in the 1980s, when they came up with "the L word," meaning "liberals." We who wanted a better country for all no longer had different solutions to social problems — we were evil people.
Well, it's easy enough to see who the "evil people" are now. Time to get them out of our government.
75
especially out of the media and Hollywood.
Yes Yes Yes
I defer to accomplished Republican political scholars on the subject of of the opposite sex and sexual assault:
“If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down." Former Republican House Representative Todd Akin - Missouri
"Just grab 'em by the pussy" - Donald Trump
"I only dine with my mother (a.k.a. my wife)" - Mike Pence
“Well, you know God created man first. Then he took the rib out of man to make woman. And you know, a rib is a lesser cut of meat.” -- South Carolina Republican state senator Thomas Corbin
Asked whether he remembered dating women in their teens when Roy Moore was in his 30s, Roy Moore told Sean Hannity: “Not generally, no.”
I think it's fair to say many of our Republican friends have a troubled relationship with sexuality and females... as well as with telling the truth, reality, patriotism and paying taxes.
Nice GOPeople.
1239
I think it is 'more fair' to say politicians of both parties have a troubled relationship with sexuality and females. From JFK to Trump, the list of men behaving badly is as bi-partisan as it gets. And don't forget Niki Haley who proves what is good for the goose is good for the gander...
Are you supposed to be enlightened or something? The gutter wouldn't even have you.God didn't create man first, he created your dad the father of lies first.
Well, okay. Mistakes were made.
But howsa 'bout that stock market!
1
Something else that has changed since Bill Clinton's time in office is that I remember the public, and some editorials, giving Hillary Clinton hell for not leaving Bill.
Melania puts up with much worse behavior. Yet the best the public comes up with is "poor Melania" or "free Melania." Well, Melania is a grown woman and can free herself if that's what she wants. But I don't see the public giving her hell like they did Mrs. Clinton for not leaving her husband. Why was Clinton trashed and Melania is pitied?
1848
I think everyone always accepted Melania as some sort of trophy wife for a very shallow man. Hillary was always pushed to the world (even in the 90's) as a smart forward thinking woman.
Expectations of Hillary are much higher. This was set up, not just by Bill himself, but the media, fellow politicians and Hillary herself.
71
I think it's because Hillary was widely respected as an independent, intelligent and strong women. I, for one, thought she stayed with Bill in order not to imperil her political career. That was disappointing. Melania, on the other hand had to know she was marrying a very flawed but rich man. Very bad decision at the time, and it turns out that he is even worse than we thought. But contrary to Hillary, we had no expectation about Melania. thus the pity.
16
I can make a guess that Hillary Clinton was castigated in part because she is a smart and independent woman. Melania is perceived to be more akin to a kept woman. Hillary chose to stay with Bill in spite of his actions and maintained her strength and independence. Melania is perceived to not have the same strength or for that matter, options. Hence the lambasting of Hillary for being too much of her own person and the pitying of Melania for being incapable of breaking her dependence.
Maybe I'm wrong, but I don't think so.
13
Pregnant wife
Free sex life'
Porn star to Qvetch on the side
Dumber than dumb
Number than numb
Payoff means plenty to hide.
Groper, Grabber
BIg mouthed blabber
Wash out your mouth with soap,
Horror, schnorrer,
Self-adorer,
Deny that you’re a dope.
Hotel lodger
Scared draft dodger
Dumbest in your class,
Witless tweeter
Big debt cheater
Taste is chintzy, crass.
1032
Your best yet, Mr.Eisenberg !
These nursery rhyme rhythms & rhymes are very successful.
How about a limerick or two to add to your collection?
26
Outstanding! You sir are amazing. Thank you!
4
Mr. Eisenberg, thank you again for your insight and your gift!
3
“But part of what women are saying right now is that what the culture considers ‘normal’ sexual encounters are not working for us, and oftentimes harmful.”
Thank you for including that quote in your always most wonderful column. I would add that Catherine MacKinnon's "Toward a Feminist Theory of the State" belongs on the second to top book shelf in everyone's home library for easy and frequent access. MacKinnon explains how the domains of the public and the domestic intercept, that what is private (like domestic violence) when it happens all over is really a public issue. I hope your column motivates more readers to learn about the legal repercussions of this realization.
61
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the right’s tacit embrace of a laissez faire approach to sexuality — at least male, heterosexual sexuality — coincides with attempts on the left to erect new ethical guardrails around sex.
********
You left out "white." It should read "— at least *white* male, heterosexual sexuality —
219