Holiday Tipping: A Fraught Apartment Building Tradition

I think educating your tenant is very important since many folks are not native NYers and don't know the proper etiquette. Also, if you're a long-time owner, a small holiday gesture is always appreciated.

Living in the suburbs, I received an envelope twice a year from the person who delivered the newspape, one in December and a second in July. No card that I recall, but the envelope had the sender's name and home address stamped on the outside. Very clear, very convenient!! Just add a stamp and a check.

I have given porters $25 I have given the head concierge $10,000 check Its up to me

my super lives in a 3 bedroom apartment rent free tax free. that is the tax law for full time supers. the apartment has a free market rent of 6k/month. the handyman does all the minor repair work. any major work the super calls a plumber or elevator repair. no tip for the super. handyman is a different story.

Moved to a Manhattan non-doorman building about 5 years ago and couldn't be happier. Used to spend about a thousand in tips each holiday season for them in the white-glove buildings. Don't get me wrong there were 2 or 3 that went the extra distance for me to make sure I got my packages, knew how to be discreet when necessary etc, but the rest were just lazy/entitled union workers. We do give a 'controlled' bonus to our building manager and part-time super currently, but it is totally controlled as coming from our entire small building with equal division from each unit.

I always accrued for the Christmas tips for my building staff over the course of the year and just thought of it as part of my monthly expenses. We had 18 -20 staff (doormen, maintenance folks etc.), and they were all fantastic. Everyone got at least $100 each. Some double that if they were exceptionally helpful over the course of the year. I felt the $2k or so I spent to show my appreciation each Christmas was more than worth it.

A total of 30%-100% of your monthly charges is the range. I began tipping everyone the same about 2 years ago. People who began work over the summer get 1/2. My thinking is that while I see and interact with the doormen most, the night porters who keep the hallways and building clean, and disappear the recycling from the storage areas contribute as least as much to my quality of life living here.

My co-op started a pool recently - the best thing they did, I never tipped before, it made me uncomfortable and I didn't want to ​deal with 14 people. Five -$10 seemed small and $20-25 too large even though it's not that much more with $225 for a one bedroon. The split i​s amongst everyone depending on time working​ for the coop,​ saves me the hassle and it's a lot​ less stressful. ​

For those commenters who list building tips as a CON for living in NYC, after 20 years in New York City, I can tell you that the suburbs are much more expensive. In addition to cars, insurance, furnaces, driveway paving, house painting, landscaping - a tree fell down across my yard, and the removal cost $2,000. It's not cheaper out here - we do have more space - we do have less odors and random noise - but if the sink clogs, I can't call the building handyman and give him $20, I need to call a plumber and it's $250. When I got locked out and the locksmith had to drill through my door, that $500 for drilling through the door and replacing the door knob and lock was a lot more expensive, and took a lot longer with my poor dog waiting inside, than going to the building office and grabbing the copy of my door key. And I suspect the siding on the north side of the house may have water dripping in from rain - which could be from the roof needing an early replacement or just a fall in siding and replacing both, if the cause is indeterminate, would cost about $40,000!) I would rather give the money to people I see every day and have a relationship with. All in all, just like anything else, it's the good with the bad. If it has been tough year financially for you, it's okay to say: here's a tip to thank you for this year - it was a tough year for us financially, but we want you to know we really appreciate you (and give the tip with some home-baked brownies!)

I live far away from NYC and in a private home. Do remember an anecdote about tipping. A resident got a Christmas card from the doorman. A week later he got a second card, with the notation. Merry Christmas, Second Notice. Tip the guy or gals. Or risk finding your packages in the dumpster.

How about we stop calling this particular exercise "tipping"? It's a gift. A holiday gift. Give a gift if you wish. But do NOT feel it's an obligation. It's not. The inclusion of this exercise in the "tip" category is ridiculous. Makes me happy to live thousands of miles from NY.

I am so glad to live in a non-doorman building.

I fail to see the point of tipping. These people are all making a wage, right? If they don't like how much they make, they should get a better paying job. If they can't do that, I fail to see how it is my responsibility to make up for that. If you are tipping out of pity, then I pity you. If you tip out of gratitude then I fail to see how anyone else should dictate your personal measure of that.

Ok, if you live in a Paris apartment with a concierge, and there are less and less of them, you tip, just the concierge. Having said that, I'm glad I don't and even gladder I don't live in the USA with this endless tipping for anything, especially restaurants. The USA is truly a third world country.

The great comedian Alan King once said, "New York is the only city where you can get a card from your doorman that reads, Merry Christmas. Second notice."

Oh, just do what David Koch does, write a check to the doorman for $50. Tightwads, unite!

Better to just pay them a living wage.

wow. to those of us who live outside NYC, this is a whole new world. I tip my yard guy and housekeeper one extra payment at the holidays. the mail carrier changes every few weeks, so no tip. I tip the regular garbage men 10 bucks each as a gesture of good will. holiday tipping seems to have disappeared where I live, perhaps because workers are more mobile and so there are fewer relationships developed. and for me, tipping is personal.

I have lived in NYC for almost four years now, and haven't been able to AFFORD to give tips; at least not what I'm afraid people would be expecting. I'm almost afraid to give anything. Maybe people will just view me as rude rather than a cheapskate. I'd go broke giving tips to everyone in my building. Isn't that part of what our rent pays for?

I absolutely hate this custom. Our building staff have generous union contracts and benefits. Even staying in the low end of the tipping pool, our large staff often costs me more in tips than I can spend on my kids for the holidays. I don't get tips or holiday bonuses in my job, it's not like I magically have more money in December. Then there are expectations to gift/tip teachers, school bus drivers, babysitters, etc. etc. etc. etc. Wages should be reasonable to start with, and ditch the tips!

My approach, living in a condo, has been to take the value of one month's maintenance and divided it among the staff based upon relationship and services provided.

Thankfully having never lived in NYC or in any residence other than a private home, I am amazed at the idea of paying someone a bonus to do their job. I rarely dine out, but feel that restaurateurs should simply pay a living wage to their staff instead of diners having to subsidize them. The last time I went for a take out meal, the server wanted me to tip her for handing me a styrofoam container. Note that she was not having to refill my water, top off coffee, carry a tray of food, or bus my table. Of course, since now so many people have a Go Fund Me page, begging has become a national pastime.

On the tipping pool idea: my guess is that once you remove names from the contributions, most will cut back on the dollars or even give nothing at all. People do want to reward and thank building employees, but they also want to purchase some good will...and maybe a little bit of extra service. Be honest. I think tipping expectations have gotten out of control. My hair stylist is really blunt about expecting Christmas cash. Quite rude about it, in fact. I haven’t given her a gift yet and don’t know whether I will. She’s the owner of the salon, yet I tip her every appointment (it used to be that owners were never tipped). She’s not my friend, just someone I pay to fix my hair. At least with building employees you have a sort of relationship, since you interact with them every day. That is a tipping practice I agree with.

My husband manages a high end, full service building, with a staff of 15 including concierges. There are just under 75 units, most occupied on a year round basis. We laugh at the "research" suggested by various real estate spokespersons. Annual Christmas gratuities, from tenants, average well over $30,000. I'm not remotely suggesting his situation applies to anyone but him and his commitment to his job. I mention it only because the real estate industry remains so completely out of touch with expectations, both resident and staff, in A level buildings.

Here in the suburbs, the staff cuts the grass, rakes the leaves, and plows the snow. Since the residents have little idea who does what, a tipping pool makes sense. It is managed by the condo association, and is generally thought to be cleanly and fairly run.

We moved into a fine building with full-time door staff, an onsite building manager, and engineer and assistant. Never having gone through the holiday season, the first year I asked the doorman I was most fond of how much people generally tipped. I said that since everyone was equally sweet to us, we felt we wanted to give everyone the same amount of money. I said, "We're not rich, but we don't want to be seen as the Scrooges of the building." I threw out the amount of $120 for each person and the doorman said that that was right in the middle, towards the high side of what most residents gave. So, everyone got $120. It IS a lot of money - a little over $1000, however we get fabulous service and the whole staff is incredibly kind. Of course, we treat them equally kindly and respectfully. Just the other night, I brought down tea with lemon and honey for the overnight doorman because he had laryngitis. I think treatment like that, in addition to tips, goes a long way as far as being treated like royalty.

I live in a pre-war rental without a doorman and a live-in super paying $5700/month. He does shoddy work in our apartment when there is a problem such as a broken toilet and routinely needs to come twice to fix the same issue. He does a decent job keeping common areas clean. My wife wants to give $200 to the super. I want to give $100. That might be on the low end of the scale, but I do not think we will get better service with a higher tip.

This data is from 2012 (our last year in NYC), but if it helps even one person, then I'm happy. We lived in a doorman building on the UWS where the rent was anywhere from $3,200/mo (1/1) to $10,500/mo (PH). We were somewhere in the middle. We had 4 full time doormen, 1 nighttime doorman, a super, and a handyman. We tipped each of the fulltime doormen $300/ea, the nighttime guy $200, the super $400 (he allowed us to add a washer/dryer against the rules), and the handyman $100. For the record, this was one of the items we listed in the CONS side of the ledger for staying in NYC. Good luck.

Every year the Times publishes some version of this article without ever actually mentioning the amounts that are average, normal, generally used; whatever one calls them. Maybe there are anti-trust laws preventing publication of typical tips (darn regulations), but really: these articles are useless. Everyone wants to know what others give and what the porters and doormen receive, and NO-ONE, including this newspaper, ever answers this question. I gave my super $260.00 I gave the assistant super $100.00 I gave the doormen $75.00 each I gave the part-time porters $40.00 each. I have no idea whether I’m a cheapskate or generous, but here it is.

I bought a condo in the Flat Iron District 35 years ago. I always tipped most to day doormen and the manager, then less to the night doorman and maintenance men (who were Hispanic). I gave extra tips to maintenance men who repaired something in my unit. Then I married a Peruvian and the Hispanics were suddenly extremely friendly with me and we would talk in Spanish. So my wife increased what they got since they were always there for us. Meanwhile, the manager had been replaced with a dominatrix and one of the Caucasian maintenance men ripped me off. So their tips went to zero. Sixty percent of the owners rent while they live in Florida (a bad choice nowadays). The owners leave tips to renters who do the most damage in a condo and common areas and do not tip. If one has little money, giving a gift, even one you can make, is fine. After all, some owners at my place actually give gifts made for the company employees such as calendars imprinted with the company name.

My second apartment had doorwomen when I moved in--Mary and Blanche--and I didn't know much about tipping staff and I didn't have much money, but I got a nice box of chocolates from a famous candy shop nearby to give them at Christmas, only to be told by Blanche that they couldn't accept any kind of gift from us tenants, on threat of being fired. Not even a box of candy! Then, a couple of years later, the door ladies disappeared and doormen were hired. And it was made clear that they expected holiday tips. But if the women weren't allowed to take them, why should men get them? I never tipped. Now I have a condo, and I tip the part-time doormen (who double as porters) and the super--it's a three-person building staff, so it's not a problem, though I can't afford more than $100 for each, with a bit extra for the super.

I am a Scrooge. I don't give out tips. I never got a holiday tip or bonus for doing my job; most workers don't. My building's workers are represented by a union and get a good wage. They shouldn't expect tips for jumping up from a chair to open a door for me that I am well able to do myself. The staff is so huge, anyways, that I would go broke giving even ten dollars to all.

The way I see it, the whole holiday tipping thing in residential bldgs is not that different than tipping in restaurants. Either way, the management and/or building/business owners typically aren't paying their staff a living wage, and then 'pressure' us to make up the difference in their employees' meager salaries. The idea that any workers should need 'motivation' to do a good job, in order to receive a good tip, is hogwash. The one time I lived in a 'luxury' apt bldg (for just 2 years...I knew it would be a temporary stint), I had to chuckle when shortly before the holidays, the building management sent all the tenants a nice letter 'reminding' us of the importance of showing the staff how much we appreciate them. You see, so long as the staff have a decent amount of holiday tips to expect and depend upon each year, they will be somewhat satisfied with their jobs and overall annual salaries. If we don't tip the staff, management knows they run the risk of having unhappy, resentful, less motivated employees and more chance for high turnover. The solution is that business owners should simply be paying their workers a higher salary. In the meantime, I think vis-a-vis apartment building staff, it's really a toss-up as to whether or not to tip, whom to tip, and by how much. Depends on the building, how long you've lived there, how well you think the staff are paid (Park Ave. doorman vs. Astoria doorman?)

Also, establishing a pool of tips to be distributed gives you the opportunity to let others contribute. You can be a free rider!

I never agreed with pooled tipping. You tip your building staff as the service you receive. You will find you have different relationship with different workers, so you tip accordingly. Workers know No one has to tip at Christmas. Having said that Workers do look forward to the generosity of Holiday Tips.

My bldg. has 24 staff. I have to take a part time job just to give out tips. The doormen, 2 per shift I give $50.00 each x 3 shifts. The super, porters, maintenance workers. I end up spending close to $1,000.00 in tips. It ruins the Holidays for me because I work so hard just to pay out tips. They are all very nice. I just wish there was a better way.

You tip for next year. In other words, the better tip you give, the better service the building workers will provide to you. Unfair as it may sound, it's only human.

In our building, we get a memo from the management company that a discretionary bonus has been paid to the staff. This comes out of our maintenance. The memo also suggests, if you wish, you can express your appreciation to the staff individually. The memo contains the names and positions of the staff.

At the suggestion of our management company, we contributed to a general pool but have given additional gifts to those who were especially helpful to us this year.

Generous tips are one way of showing appreciation for the service provided by building staff; an anonymous tipping pool distributed in accordance with a formula frustrates that purpose.

In my building, we have pooled tips handled by the management. The amount suggested is $250. I was told that the total is disbursed according to seniority.

Oh pooled tips: I lived in a lovely building on W58 circa the late 1980s. The gent in charge of distributing was subsequently charged with theft as none were dispersed to his team.