The STOPit Solutions anonymous reporting app has been effective at combatting workplace bullies, harassment and abuse in the workplace. Another tool to empower employees and give voice to the the marginalized.
1
"Promote more women" is a strategy only if sexual harassment is actually rampant in your company or is the only concern your business has, both of which are highly unlikely. It's just gender bias masquerading as something more noble. It assumes that men are bad and women are saintly, neither of which are even remotely true. Some people in power will do bad things with their power, and that is not by any means exclusive to men. There are just as many bad women bosses as men, and they are no less harmful to the workforce.
I'd never work for an organization that promotes by gender and not leadership ability and effectiveness, and especially not one which throws a heavy blanket over a very fixable problem while potentially suffocating everything beneath the blanket. That's a company without a future.
2
Here's an idea - when someone in the office sexually harasses another, fire them. Don't send them to training, don't have a long talk with them, don't give them a second chance - fire them.
I bet the problem will clear up.
6
I find the cartoons for this article offensive. A male always saving the female? Seriously? I took the coffee one as an example of unsolicited attention, asking the woman out for coffee. As a manager, I've dealt with almost as many sexual harassment issues where young men (college students) were harassed by slightly older women (recent grads). Harassment works both ways.
3
I was an attorney at one of the largest companies in Connecticut right after Anita Hill. The training for the workforce stated that sexual thoughts constitute sexual harassment under new Connecticut Law. The rationale given was thoughts might lead to actions. I informed the division VP that this was nonsensical and dangerous. Soon thereafter this policy led to the corporation getting sued and paying a hefty judgment to an employee fired over asking a woman if she’d been a virgin when she got married. Such training should account for common sense, don’t you think?
Training doesn't work because decent people know you don't force yourself on unwilling people nor do you use your position of authority to ask for favors.
Decent people don't have to be instructed in those points, and nasty people won't listen.
10
The fear of being publicly shamed works. #metoo
2
I'd like to think all of these "action tactics" to defuse and flatten harassment would work. Would like to see more research on them. But, in the meantime, teach them loud and clear. However, the author is right about the standard seminar/lecture "trainings" being in place for organization CYA. No joke.
1
Does the Times really think that simply asking someone to go for a coffee is harassment? If so, then the findings here are much more interesting (at least to me). People in offices socialize all the time. They go for coffee, dinner, play cards and basketball. Inviting someone to socialize IS SIMPLY NOT HARASSMENT by any standard understood by most people. If that's what the author is studying then she's looking through the wrong end of the telescope. If a simple suggestion of coffee or lunch or dinner constitutes an act worthy of firing people, then it's wishful thinking that people will conform to that standard. A better graphic would show the man touching her or asking over and over again. Then you've got something we all can understand.
1
Assuming that it's the job of any and all women to provide coffee is inappropriate. Remembering some years ago where I worked one of the secretaries had a coffee maker behind her desk because she liked to drink it all day. If you threw in some money occasionally she'd share. One day she was out sick and a man at my same level pointed at me and said "She's out today, you better make some coffee". I informed him I don't drink coffee and had no idea how to make it, and that he should if he wanted some.
2
I think the harasser in all the graphics is the guy in the red shirt. Just below the headline, he is standing over the woman and she is looking uncomfortable. The illustrations below show ways the guy with the pink shirt could respond.
This just shows how ambiguous these situations can be.
I'm very skeptical. Mostly because in my own experience profit ALWAYS trumps (no pun intended) any potential action against a harasser. Mid or entry level executive harasser? Expendable. Revenue-generating? Look the other way, men AND women (equal-opportunity enablers). The only way I envision lessening the incidence of harassment, sexual or otherwise, is over-the-top transparency. Rare or non-existent two-person meetings, much less out-of-office 'team building' exercises. There remain more Larry Nassars in the world, lessening their opportunities to hide seems an actionable step.
2
People should be aware that this type of activity/crime, affects their IQ Scores, and their ability to get the Top Level Jobs. People hired at the Top Level are very well-mannered. It is unfortunate that Lower Level places of employment hire poorly educated people who behave like slobs/criminals, and even get Ivy League MBA's, (Trump). Because they still get hired, as President of the USA, for instance, then people do not care whether their IQ Score is lowered, and they do not get a Top Level Job. ----- As for me, a birth certificate labeled Female, I was a victim of sexual harassment and other crimes. I promoted my way out of that Lower Level. So, now I am on Top of "them", more higher ranked than "them", in the University Sector and BusinessWorld. It did get better for me, but I had to increase my IQ Score, to promote to The Top Level. It is sad, that that is what I had to do, for it to get better, and for me to be around well-mannered people.
Interesting article and comments--but the comment format and scrolling on the Upshot are user-unfriendly. If the NYT is considering this for other sections, I'll be sorry to see it--and won't look much.
3
I used to believe. I did. I was an infrastructure contractor for 20 years. My general contractor PM harassed several women on this federal job. I personally went to the CEO. By the end, all the women were dismissed. I turned them into the feds and two solid pages of other people filing for Title 6 protection. Senator Orrin Hatch office said it was the city duty to protect me. His office has had for two years with nothing being done. Not one thing. It's a game to them. I am discouraged. No one is accountableI used to believe. I did. I was an infrastructure contractor for 20 years. My general contractor PM harassed several women on this federal job. I personally went to the CEO. By the end, all the women were dismissed. I turned them into the feds and two solid pages of other people filing for Title 6 protection. Senator Orrin Hatch office said it was the city duty to protect me. His office has had for two years with nothing being done. Not one thing.
3
Sexual harassment training should be directed at women, telling them the steps they should take when subjected to it. What it is, why it should not be tolerated, how they should react, how it should be reported, the reaction they can expect and how they must demand meaningful action. That they shouldn’t sign a non-disclosure ever.
1
How about, and at the same time, it should be made clear to MEN exactly what is NOT acceptable? Women are not self-harassing. Someone is the instigator. And we know who it most always, always is.
We should also make clear to men and women that the workplace is for WORK. Of course, you can and should go out to lunch as coworkers, sit over coffee and chat. But your workplace isn't a bar, it's not a match-making club, it's for work.
And no, guys, just because you work crappy hours and we know you won't find a mate at the laundromat at 11 pm on a Wednesday (one of your two mid-week days off) you should make moves on a co-worker, even if you are 'equals.' How about you don't spit in the well from which you drink?
1
People are sending mixed messages on this. On the one hand, we gave "empowered" women equal to men, & OTOH we have vulnerable, delicate women who need protection. Grown women on the one hand, childlike women on the other.
4
@RichD, it’s not powerless or weak to need a little help. Think of women as teammates. Targets of harassment need an ally who sees what’s going on and acts as a teammate would, making an assist on occasion. They don’t need a deus ex machine style intervention because you’re right, they aren’t helpless.
1
I clicked through to the "Snackman" video. He does play a lovely, non-confrontational deescalating role. But, in the spirit of holding up the contributions of non-whites, can we also note the older black woman who gets the woman to move away and sit down, also puts herself between the two, and repeats the instruction for the man to get off the train. By my read, this was a tag team effort. Maybe there is a message in that too. Each reinforces the message that this moment is over.
1
Excellent article. Opinions, beliefs and behaviours are informed by so many (parents, peers, teachers, coaches, media...) during our formative years. Whilst there is much more we can do from a very early age, intervening at any point only works when we permit men the opportunity to deeply reflect on how these behaviours were formed, and how/why 'reform' is beneficial--particularly to them.
By the time people get to the workplace the kind of behavior we're trying to stop has been going on for years and was often learned at home. Perhaps it's time to start this kind of training in middle school.
8
Thank you, for concrete suggestions on how to stop this.
I've always thought that the "trainings" and "awareness" campaigns were ridiculous---if a person reaches the age of 16 and does not know that harassing a person is not ok, then they have very big problems---"awareness" is too little, too late.
11
We are definitely leaving a sad age. No balance.
Be prepare to hear too many false sexual harassment accusations made by promotion seeking loonies. As companies seek protection from lawsuits by empowering bystanders, even an invitation to have a cup of coffee will be considered a sexual advance.
Tell your sons - be as far as possible from any female...offering a lift to a colleague in a raining day will be the basis to loose your job...all you need is the "right (loony) bystander".
Here we go again, the culture of extremes...the same that helped to elect Donald Trump.
4
I'm surprised throughout all of this that there is no mention of retaliation against the intervening bystander, which would largely explain why many don't intervene. The majority of sexual harrassment cases happen due to a power imbalance on the part of the harrasser, which can affect the bystander as well as the victim. If you create a culture where bystanders can feel empowered to report harrassment, it will probably have become a culture where a victim feels empowered to report.
We need to create a workplace where victims of harrassment feel empowered to come forward. But it is the height of entitlement to say "Well I don't want to risk my job by reporting harrassment, but YOU should be risking your job to stick up for me", and it only contributes to the infantilization of women in the workplace and the idea that men exist to protect women. When I was harrassed in the workplace, I would never have expected anyone to risk their job to stick up for me, and I would have been horrified if they did. Create a culture where victims AND bystanders feel empowered to work together, but don't expect me to jeopardize my future if you won't risk yours.
8
None of the training discussed here is asking bystanders to report harassment if they feel that it will risk their job. However, a report from a relatively senior bystander with greater job security could be extremely useful to victims. Furthermore, one of the options suggested for bystanders--simply talking privately with the victim afterwards and acknowledging that the harassing behavior was unacceptable--is available to bystanders at all levels. The point of the bystander interventions is not to "infantilize" women but to break down the culture of complicity that has allowed sexual harassment to flourish and victims to become isolated. Bystander training demonstrates how even the most junior employee need not be complicit in continuance of a culture of harassment.
2
Thank you for outlining some of the issues leading to sexual harassment, and how to defuse it before it becomes uncontrollable, poisoning the environment. Just wondering if we could pass a law, for ethics sake, that all and any company must assign women to positions of control/supervision/guidance, to attain zero tolerance of abuse of power (sexual and otherwise), so women feel safe, worthy, and happy at work. It's about time we stop belittling women; instead, feel proud to have them enhance the workplace, allow production and commitment to shine.
1
Are you actually implying that women don't abuse power? If so, you've lead a very sheltered life.
1
We need to teach our kids (and adults) the ideals of feminism. Lawsuits work too, and outing these guys seem to shut them down, at least temporarily.
6
This addresses some questions I have had and is a clear discussion of an option that can/could help with harassment and bullying. Bystander training makes sense especially in areas where larger groups of men [and women] are in lateral positions of power. Finding solutions to stopping any examples of verbal, psychological, sexual abuse does not just benefit women, it will benefit everyone. Translating research into news articles, seeking what works and how to make it work helps everyone. Another plus for the NYT which is doing just fine. #realnews.
3
Good but unfortunate to say current training doesn't work. It works for it's intended purpose - put potential harrassers on notice that this is illegal and ensure that potential victims know their otions. For that, it works.
It might be possible to accomplish more thru other training but never underestimate the importance of making sure people know the risks and their rights.
1
The power of peers. The power of the group.
I think that’s what this article is getting at.
For example, if someone is a sexual abuser or deviant and seeks treatment, individual therapy is never the answer. Group Therapy is the only solution - IF it works.
That’s because a GROUP can confront a person far more powerfully than anyone else. A peer is more powerful than a victim. But a Group is the most powerful
3
Screw training. In the workplace, fire the offender immediately. Most states are employment at will' so not a problem. If the manager of the offender knew anything, fire them immediately, and so on. It starts at the top. Then fine the company harshly, the entire years net income. It's always about the money. That is all that will work, otherwise it's all silliness.
5
I've just read a nice article that talks about this at https://www.lemberglaw.com/what-is-workplace-sexual-harassment/. I think we gave little attention to this problem. I hope with these training, we all could realize how important this matter is, especially to women.
2
How about working to change the culture wherever you are? Call out boorish behavior everywhere. This should begin early in life. Parents should be talking about not being a lout at an early age.
If you are an adult and making people uncomfortable at work you should be intervened on by all of your associates if you did not get the message when delivered verbally and in writing.
It appears far too many are willing to overlook loutish behavior.
4
Hi Iconoclast
In general you have a great idea. In practice it’s problematic in organizations where the bad behavior starts at the top. The guy who runs my company has an explosive temper which he uses to control and manipulate people. He does not sexually harass anyone as far as I know but he bullies people and because he is the boss no
one will say anything. He delivers great results. The board of directors thinks he walks on water.
7
I had not heard of bystander training so I googled it. It was disappointing to see that most hits that came up, especially at the top were all about college students. No doubt, it's needed, but the revelations coming out these days demonstrate that it's the adults who need it more. After all, they are responsible for the environments college students and, well everybody finds themselves.
And it needs to go far beyond sexual harassment. Bullying and undue pressures to do what you know isn't right, what Jesus would do, and influenced by personal gain, power brokers, trump is an excellent example, and other forms of influence peddling to outright extortion have become so ubiquitous, most people at work if they think about it at all know they are expected to do something that is just plain wrong.
These are the people raising their children, knowingly or not, to be bullies and play fast and lose with the rules, laws if not bending them to their pleasure.
2
I think empowering the bystander goes a long way. People who harass imagine they are being cheered on by some invisible fans when what they are really doing is betraying the people who really care about them. The bystander can help a person who is in the grips of making a decision that they think would please the crowd to making a decision that would please their own individual conscience. Thanks for the article. There are no innocent bystanders and there are no excuses to pretend that there are.
3
Although this article and its suggestions are well-intended, a strong commitment and willingness to do the work required to bring about positive change is a necessity that is nonexistent in a toxic workplace.
Entrenched employees in various positions of power, determined to maintain the status quo, will negate, silence and actively work against implementing an equitable environment, often coordinating directly with those at the top.
Supposed concerns for “the firm’s” reputation are overlooked in favor of a culture with no oversight or accountability.
That has been my experience.
9
All of these suggestions are for civil responses to uncivil behaviors. Sorry, and not meaning to be crude, but -- to really discourage unwanted sexual or suggestive behavior from men, you have to give it back where it hurts. (Trust me-- I have decades of experience with this). The simple dismissive, nonverbal STARE at the accuser (throw in a bit of distain for good measure) often reduces them to backing off uncomfortable. An more elaborate version of this is to LOOK THRM UP AND DOWN the way men often do to women. Trust me, THEY like to just but don't want to be judged. Verbal rebuffs rarely work, other than to further anger the fragile ego of the abuser. So snarky retorts should be avoided. A distainful brush off is all that is needed.
Of course, this relies on you to have PRACTICED your response beforehand, to be ready with it when and if the time comes.
And ladies, for goodness sake, to really protect yourselves in more alarming situations, take up karate or krav magaw (sp?) and carry mace or something like it at all times. I have said it before -- it is ALWAYS Open Season for predators, and you are the prey.
5
I am not the only human being in the nation to feel that Sexual Harassment Hysteria is destroying fairness and common sense as mob justice retaliates for behavior from innocence to grossly outrageous.
One thing training will not do: it will not change the complex, diverse and sometimes troubling nature of human beings.
We will never rid the planet of psychologically-damaged people like Harvey Weinstein, nor will all fanny patting, hugging, comments that might irritate someone be ended.
And conflict is built in to our lives. No matter your enthusiasm for attacking sexual misconduct, sexual abnormality, sexual just about anything - do you enjoy the movies, television, theater, novels and stories, Shakespeare?
A woman friend commented that when she was young she wished someone had explained to her that male nature generally makes men look at women's chests.
What seems lacking in this American Madness: interest in fairness, in reason, in common sense, in finding appropriate consequences if someone is truly found guilty of wrongdoing. Instead we are told we must accept what seems mob justice -- a new way of lynching without benefit of any process due. As that famous Queen demanded: Off With Their Heads!
For certain, "trainers" of every sort and ability will find plenty of employment as our new Era of Prohibition sweeps the land, destroying the innocent and the guilty as it tears relationships apart.
Doug Giebel, Big Sandy, MT
3
We're a punitive society. Somehow scorched earth is more satisfying to people than actually assessing and solving problems in an intelligent, thoughtful, and fair way.
1
The biggest problem with this piece is that it genders harassment. Perhaps it's because I'm a male, but 90% of my sexual harassers have been female. Women are very much guilty of this kind of behavior and the NYT would do best to get in front of all this by treating men and women equally.
10
Harassment won't go away until the male culture changes.
8
The online training I have to take every year (twice, for two different employers) is worse than useless. After a one-screen lesson, it asks a multiple-choice question, and /every single correct answer/ is "talk to your employer's designated Title IX coordinator." What this teaches me, and other people I've heard discussing this training, is that my employers are concerned with legal ass-covering rather than with the experiences of women.
26
Bystander distraction does nothing to challenge the culture that allows and supports sexual harassment and therefore does nothing to disrupt the systemic causes. Similarly, training by men because “men will only listen to other men” reinforces male supremacy.
4
Part 2 of 2
One of the ways of helping people to move from bystanding to understanding and action is to first help them move out of isolation.
Before taking any action (that may place them at risk) the person seeks others for support. Typically they begin a conversation with a colleague along the lines of . . . .
‘This happened / I have observed this . . . Have you seen or heard of others who have had similar experiences? Can we talk about it? Would you be prepared to do something about it? . . . and so on..
The next step is to frame an intervention to focus on protecting the organization. (Of course protecting individuals is really important but that needs to come second in this conversation.)
Powerful people find it easy to dismiss individuals bearing unwelcome news. They take groups of people much more seriously. They take groups who demonstrate that they have the best interests of the organization at heart and act on those interests very seriously.
So, if three or four people (or more) gather to meet with the CEO of a firm and they begin their discussions along the lines of,
‘We are here because we have observed behaviors that represent an immediate threat to the reputation and the efficient functioning of the firm . . .' something funny happens in the CEO’s brain that makes them more open to taking action.
http://www.leadershipaustralia.com.au/website/pdf/From_Bystanding_to_Act...
Journey with courage and kindness,
Peter Rennie
13
When I was a federal employee working with civilians and military personnel, harassment training was mandatory. But the videos and powerpoint used were so bad they were a joke. The examples were so blatant that they were bordering on criminal. Nobody at least in my workplace environment was that stupid. The training needs to be relevant and rules for appropriate behavior in the workplace need to be laid out. Also too many managers excused themselves from attending and many of the men in my male dominated workplace managed to come up with operational reasons for not attending. Perhaps thing have change but I doubt it. We have had to remind some of the men that the office was not a garage, a sports bar or their man cave. It is a professional environment where everyone is expected to do their job. Dirty jokes, inappropriate comments about female body parts, females, etc are prohibited.
9
What bystander? The predator chooses the time and the place. Most nasty, persistent behavior and physical confrontations occur without witnesses.
22
I had an HR manager say inappropriate sexual things to me about a coworker. When confronted, he denied it and I was reprimanded. Although now I go record any meeting on my phone, I’ll never say anything again. Appalled that I was punished for doing the right thing and in this administration that is likely to continue.
10
It's not "training". It is indoctrination.
The harassers don't just do it because they are men. They do it out of spite for those less powerful than them. It is a sick mentality. Putting more women in management positions could help only if the women have integrity. What if the woman boss feels she "gets the joke" whole her underlings don't (see the example cited in a recent NYT opinion piece )? What if the woman is bought off and gangs up with harassers for her own benefit, for instance, a free trip to Africa? Women can harass women by spreading salacious rumors and making the workplace hostile. In short, it is not gender. It is character.
5
There is a difference between sexual harassment and boorish, insensitive behavior. For example, an older, experienced woman might be subjected to boorish behavior and only feel anger or annoyance (which does not make it ok), whereas a shy or young woman might be very embarrassed, or reduced to tears. Boorish behavior is definitely not good and should not be tolerated in the workplace, but sexual harassment is more serious and involves a perceived threat of some kind. This can include physical intimidation like blocking an exit, or standing too close. It can also include coercive intimidation, like being being in fear you will lose your job unless you submit to unwanted sexual advances.
People can be educated out of boorish behavior, but sexual harassers need to be fired.
9
Agreed. What happens in public is more likely to be the boorish by men or the mean spirited behavior by women. It is the private behavior that is harder to prove and harder to get anything done about. The time stamping technique might be good for that.
1
I under went sexual harassment training as well as racial and religious harassment training, all of which meant nothing because HR was not going to fire someone for this. Training is great if the people that are being trained want to change and learn a better way of life, but most people having been brought up in a household where harassment was a way of life, will not accept it. This type of training needs to start at a young age or it will become a way of life that no training can change. Maybe if we can continue to keep talking about it, in a couple of generations it will change, but I wouldn't hold my breath while the good old boys are in charge.
2
I am not aware of any harassers or rapists yet I am aware from the media that we see them everyday. Perhaps women talk and it is common knowledge of who the problem men are in the workplace. Since I don't see it and don't hear about it (except from the media) it is hard to join the resistance to the behavior. It is the people who are aware that have the power to fight this.
1
I did several training sessions with Fran Sepler when our academic institution recognized the need. It included training on how to do an effective evaluation of complaints of harassment, and how to hopefully recognize and intervene early to stop harassing behavior before irreversible damage was done.
Ms Sepler's training was worth its weight in gold.
3
Most men are not like that. If they are doing their job and behaving properly, they typically don't want to get involved in messy problems at work. They expect the company to handle these problems without their assistance, while they continue to type in computer code and write status reports.
This may be cruel and selfish, but they do get a lot of work done and support the business of the company, which is neither sexual harassment, nor stopping it. There's trouble two cubicles over? Sorry, I got to get this system into production by the end of the month.
6
all nice motherhood stuff - 'if you see something, say something' - ya de yah
but - I have never seen this - and I'm an old retired guy.
my female partner was recently harassed by a bully temporary manager - he 'invited' her into a small back office room and then stood blocking the exit and starting talking in a quiet zombie voice to her for half an hour before anyone else (busy at the counter) noticed.
when she phoned me in shuddering sobs and I heard what happened, I got on the organisation's internet/Facebook/Twitter, wrote what had happened 'best worker reduced to shuddering tears by bully' and demanded this guy be fired.
a doctor - seeing her traumatised state - immediately gave her a week off work
next day the state boss came to the office and fixed it - and she was assured this guy would never come to her office again - he now had a permanent black mark on his file.
So yeah - take effective action - and get immediate results - but don't preach about bystanders - as most bullies chose a time and place where there will be NO witnesses !
9
He should have been fired or, at least, relocated to the Alaskan outback.
3
There are plenty of very complex problems in this world. Sexual harassment isn’t one of them.
1. Don’t do it. Just don’t.
2. Fire people who do. Get rid of them. Nothing they contribute is as valuable as what they are taking away.
3. Be kind. Hire kind people and treat them kindly. Kindness is contagious and happy workers are better workers.
If I can expect my child to get through the day at school without creating an incident and my dog to leave my food on my plate alone, adults can be expected to behave appropriately toward one another at work.
9
I like this approach. Because you make it gender-neutral. I am a woman and I have seen female-male and female-female harassment as well as what is described in the article. We must all be held accountable for our actions.
3
Yes, you'd think so, wouldn't you? But I've been surprised how many men are carrying on as if that's too much to expect, from feigned fear to angry vows never to speak to a woman coworker again. It's bizarre, and I have to say, eye-opening to anyone who didn't think there was a widespread tendency on men's parts to refuse respect and dignity to women. But seeing whom many voters chose over a sane, experienced woman for president--a man of ignorance, rudeness, a mentally disturbed sexual assaulter-- I guess it's obvious there as well.
10
And so many of those voters were women, go figure.
This is part I of a 2 part post
As discussed in this and in a range of other articles over the last few weeks sexual harassment has festered whilst many have remained on the sidelines. A rough statistic is that for every victim there are ten others, some of whom themselves have been victims, but who also become bystanders.
Five years ago I ran a number of seminars titled ‘From Bystanding to Understanding and Action’ all around Australia. I say this, not to promote, but to indicate that I have thought deeply about the issue. As one wise soul said, ‘If you want to really learn about a subject then go teach it’ – and I learned heaps.
Understanding bystander behavior holds the key, to overcoming a range of organizational pathologies. From abuse (in all its forms), unsafe practices, fraud and poor decision making.
The bystander mindset creates beliefs and behaviors that reinforce a sense of powerlessness. In addition, the bystander commonly undermines colleagues who do act. After all, seeing someone take action when you didn’t is stressful. People don’t like thinking of themselves as ‘cowards’. So the bystander takes the view that ‘heroic actions are for “Heroes” that is people with status, not for colleagues on the same level’. This is the main reason why whistleblowers find life so difficult.
And this is why the South African activist Steve Biko observed, ‘The most powerful weapon in the mindset of the powerful is the mindset of the powerless.’
End of part 1
3
Sexual harassment training, sensitivity training, none of that works. Why? Because the message being given is lost on the people that are doing the harassing or being insensitive or creating an uncomfortable workplace.
A company I worked for had us do it online. That meant that there was no discussion about or assurance that management or HR would take the complaints seriously. I had serious complaints about my supervisor. He lied about me to protect himself. He gave me a hard time whenever I was ill, wanted to take vacation time, or needed to go to a doctor's or dentist's appointment. He was promoted and allowed to continue acting the way he did even though I complained about the way he treated me.
There was sexual harassment going on at work too. We were told during the online training that we needed to report sexual harassment we were told about. Someone told me about a supervisor insisting upon group hugs and how uncomfortable it made her and the others feel. I reported it. 6 months later I was downsized. During that 6 months the company had refused to train me for anything related to our switch to a new financial system despite my requests.
It was fine for an employee to post pictures of fetuses and anti-abortion literature in his cubicle despite our complaints. But it wasn't fine to follow training and report suspected harassment. Attitudes at the top must change first.
13
The idea around time-stamping a confidential non-reported complaint is very smart. I’m disappointed it’s the first time I’ve heard of it, it would be a very powerful tool that even skeptics of #metoo could seemingly support
7
I was an internal auditor at a major corporation 1980 to 1995. We had over 50,000 employees worldwide and over 60% were women. Sexual harassment at my company hit like a bomb on 1987 (exactly 30 years ago and just before Christmas). Our CEO was amazing. He immediately called in experts from outside the company to audit, as well as experts including psychologists on sexual harassment. Here is what the experts told us:
1. Sexual harassment is a form of predatory behavior not unlike what happens in prisons.
2. Sexual harassment is done mainly for power.
3. Sexual harassers cannot be reformed. Training does not work on sexual harassers.
4. Sexual harassment training is important so that women and males who are not harassers can recognize harassment and identify harassers.
Bottomline, harassers are predators and must be eliminated from "environments of opportunity" (often fired), while people who are not harassers but interact inappropriately can be reformed with training.
As a result in 1990 my company adopted a zero tolerance towards sexual harassers. If you were determined to have sexually harassed a fellow employee, client or business partner in or out of the workplace, you were fired period.
34
Excellent ideas, I saw nurses brutally bullied in very high tense situations and everyone scurried away like ants from a fire. Less apt to happen these days as nurses are more empowered (and less doctors are so god awful) but frankly they need to stick up for each other more even among their peers.
4
The fastest way to take care of this problem is to fire the harassers. That sends a plain signal to the rest of an organization - if you sexually harass someone, you’re gone.
8
I worked at a NYC law firm that had seminars that all employees from partners to support staff were required to attend. All of us were able to speak freely at these seminars. The results were that most of the men did not even realize when they "crossed the line" when interacting with the women at the firm and they came out of these seminars with their eyes wide open. The seminars did work.
16
Rape and sexual assault in the active Army, mostly reported by Soldiers, mostly female. especially in the last decade, and the Army's institutional response, would be an interesting topic for reporters to investigate and write about. Unlike large corporations, this has been a priority concern of top leaders (chief and deputy chief of staffs of the Army and the sergeant majors of the Army) in the past decade, despite egregious misconduct by senior NCO's and officers that make the Army look foolish. But the Army has put in place, at least on paper and institutionally, sexual assault and harassment training, reporting, counseling, and legal and non-legal protections for reporters of sexual harassment and assault. Like ethnic and racial prejudice, despite legal and non-legal prevention and and protections, it's almost only as good as the individual superivisors and superiors in the Army civilian and military chains of command. The code of silence is part of it, as well as other Army "traditions" and esprit the corps Army culture. I think reporters and sociologists/anthropologists should investigate, analyze and report on the Army's program. It really is well thought out, but it would be interesting to know how well it's working, as a work in progress, from a non-Army perspective.
5
sexual harassment training is like using psychologists to change a light bulb .... they can do it, but the light bulb really has to want to change. That is the root of sexual harassment training failures.
1
Every year at work we have mandated "training" explaining what sexual harassment is. But I've seen all the videos, from different vendors over the years, and have never seen one in which a bystander was portrayed as intervening.
This is a serious deficiency, if the goal is to stop sexual harassment.
We all know that peer pressure works; it stops us from doing lots of inappropriate things we want to do, and makes us more likely to do annoying things that we really should do. So let's do a better educational job. I'm sending this article to our HR department.
15
What should be added to this list is ... Get Human Resources and supervisors to do their jobs.
Although I haven't had to deal with sexual harassment in the workplace per se, I've had all too many experiences (as many people have) with aggressive or others disruptive coworkers.
And I can attest that most HR and supervisory people just want the problem to go away without having to confront the transgressor. So the victimized person is told to practice patience and foregiveness, etc
or is outright ignored.
This kind of moral laziness or outright cowardice by leaders especially enables sexual harassment.
22
This is so true. In the documentary "Bully", a teacher said there wasn't a problem and the kids were as good as gold. They just close their eyes.
8
I was a teacher - I never saw bullying in my classrooms - if it happens it will probably be elsewhere.
I was a child - I was bullied by bigger boys when then were no witnesses - that's usually how it works.
So please don't assume that teachers see bullying in their classrooms - I believe they probably don't.
9
In the modern world, it is very difficult to fire people. Companies are so afraid of lawsuits, and disruptions in the work process, that they put up with disagreeable and disruptive people far more than they should - "Yeah, he's a jerk, but he's the only guy who knows how to extract the data from the corporate database and create the monthly departmental financial reports."
My father was held the title of Personnel Director, back in the hold days, and he told me the key to success in a company was to get rid of bad people without hesitation, and give the good ones raises and promotions. Many companies fail to follow this simple principle.
11
This article alone might be more effective than the online click-through sexual harassment training that I've seen. It's great to see ideas for preventing harassment that acknowledge the incentives of the target audience. Another win for behavioral economics!
11
Sexual harassment training used to be great places to get dates.
1
My observation is that there’s an important factor you’ve overlooked: namely, for every nine women, say, who are mortified by a boss propositioning them, there’s a tenth who’s game, who will take advantage of such opportunity to advance her career, which it will. She is the woman every other woman hates, and, to be frank, that 10% (which may be low) is an important reason harassment continues.
5
Ah, you 'observed' this, huh?
What is your point? That an 'important reason' why slavery and segregation continued, is because there were Uncle Toms?
Really, is that what you were trying to say?
10
Wow. You know who is responsible for harassment, Ed? Harassers. You're bringing blaming anyone but the perpetrators to a whole new level. And that's not okay.
5
I agree that it is important for women to give appropriate feedback. One of the big themes that has emerged is that a lot of women don't speak up at the time. But I think you are off the mark here, Ed. You are not exactly qualified to speak for "every other woman".
1
Sexual harassment training as a "cure" reminded me of the slogan "just say no to drugs". So many times, especially with repeat offenders, there are deep, deep issues that are driving these behaviors. Sexual harassment training teaches awareness but does not address the deeper psychological, emotional issues.
3
Harassment along with Diversity training fails on all counts because most individuals do not see themselves as predators. I find that its not the older generation , but the post-civil rights/women's rights have become the worse perpetrators. There is so much harassment and silent racism being committed by the recent generations that it explains so much of the current state of our political dialogue.
4
I suffered great emotional distress after I reported working conditions to HR. My company mandated I report violations through a new HR Policy they communicated in written and video format. I was rather inexperienced when this new HR policy was implemented, and took the company at its word when the HR partner encouraged me to name names and be as specific as possible as means of improving the culture. After the investigation was complete, I was told I had no choice but to move to a much smaller and less desirable location.The company simply did not have the resources necessary to manage the following chain of events. Time spent addressing the friction that ensued robbed the authoritative piggy bank. Further damage occurred due to abandonment of basic managerial responsibilities.
The whole thing was a disaster, and while the EEOC told me I had all the necessary elements to report retaliation, I felt so drained from the tears I cried in front of my family and friends that I could not muster any more energy to bring justice to the conditions. I chose to leave after an inability to obtain promotion after promotion. Sad to think that the very virtue that rendered me an invaluable asset to the company in terms of my performance metrics—my honesty--became a liability when applied to their new HR policy. HR policy which requires all employees to report any violation costs energy. If you can’t afford the time, don’t mandate that your employees report the crime.
4
People are over thinking this. Enforce civility at work, don't be "cute" (snide jokes, off color comments), and keep the focus at work on work. This solves many more problems than just M/F interactions.
6
Helpful and actionable advice. But the illustrations look like they are promoting creepy behavior. Why is Redhead touching body parts and crouching over a person?
9
While I applaud the attention on sexual harassment in the workplace, I think the focus should be on simple CIVILITY in general. I've experienced numerous, sometimes scary, incidents, of harassment and bullying by men and women. The norm for the workplace seems to be heading toward a highly toxic, contentious environment. We should focus on making it a better place in general. Seems that would be better for our economy as well as our society.
37
I agree. The worst bullying I ever received was from a woman and she was the boss's wife. (She even yelled at him when he stood up for me.) Small, family-owned businesses are some of the worst places to work as far as bullying and harassment are concerned.
7
If a male co-worker came up to me after a harassing situation and actually uttered, "Are you alright?" I'd say "I'm fine" even if I wasn't. "Are you alright" said by a male co-worker AFTER the incident sounds too much like Virtue Signaling. He clearly just wants to look like a good guy to me AFTER the incident. Fact is if I wasn't afraid of being labeled "an angry woman," I would've instead responded, "Where were you when it happened. Why didn't you say something then? Are YOU alright with that?"
48
So training would help you realize that instead he was avoiding escalating the situation, a good thing.
8
Excellent article. Why not more than 16 comments, eh? Not sensational enough? Prevention is always best.
Article gives bystanders ways to influence things and it does not limit harassment to the sexual. Workers , especially females, are so often harassed in so many other ways as well - belittled, not being listned to. “She just raised that same idea. Would she like to expand on it?” would be great help for many women who do not feel empowered enough to take the table.
i like the emphasis on everyday techniques rather than the "big' trainings, which, as described, do not achieve much. Just this short intervention" "This joke is not funny" is a game changer! Does the supposedly brave gender have the necessary courage to say that at the right moment in the right place?
We need more of this proactive thinking.
4
What works is to fire any employee who sexually or racially harasses another employee -- instead of paying a termination settlement to the victim in exchange for a forced resignation, as has been common.
9
An inescapable fact is that what is optional to report is optional to leave unreported. Any reporting scheme that authorizes reporting something harmful without mandating the reporting, also authorizes not reporting it .
Observation: When a pre-existing pre-known harmful condition is revealed, it is proof positive that all measures that could/should have resulted in reporting the condition between its creation and its revelation failed.
Observation: Most workers in the high hazard industries have no spare time. Optional reporting can be deferred until spare time is available for it.
Quotation: “When you see something, say something.”-A law enforcement/ security maxim
Quotation: “Tell me if you see something dumb, dangerous, or different.”-Part of the implied Fire Boss Briefing
Quotation: “A word to the wise is deficient.”-Bill Corcoran
Quotation: “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Genesis 4:8-10
Observation: Optional reporting is not a measure “to assure that conditions adverse to quality are promptly identified and corrected .” Optional reporting assures nothing. Optional reporting supports plausible deniability.
Observation: The Honor Code at the U. S. Military Academy (West Point) comes close to creating an affirmative duty to report lying, cheating, and stealing. It is unusual in the more usual culture of Omertà .
2
"... companies need to create a culture in which women are treated as equals and employees treat one another with respect ..."
Amen to that. I may be a straight white male (odds are about 100%), but I've still had to deal with tons of disrespectful and demeaning behavior from the fools called management.
Women and all others who don't meet my profile generally have it worse, yes, but harassment is part and parcel of an unjust system where the undeserving get to lord it over other people for no sensible reason at all.
No doubt you can diminish sexual harassment by itself. But without a wholesale remaking of the idiocy called corporate capitalism, there will always be too much opportunity for people to mistreat others in this and a million other ways. And if it can happen, it will happen.
10
Yes- the Risk Management perfunctory online 'training' to cover an organization for liability is ineffective. Yes- bystander/milieu awareness is ideal.
But what needs more attention- more than 'believing the women,' amplifying their grisly tales and designing punishment- is the strange often delusional mentality of Men.
Most men seem to have a real blindspot to their offensive behavior--often imagining they are giving a compliment or acting as a man always has...flirty, desirous, admiring, cajoling. Of course there are serial predators, abusers and compulsive masturbators. But there is an obliviousness, self-justifying cadre of immature guys who live in a high school oogling world..trying to grab a feel or talk a girl into yielding--believing this is the game they must play.
Powerful longing and - among older men- a reversion to disinhibited erotic urges is difficult to reform with New Rules.
How difficult it will be to also convince many women that using their wiles to gain 'power' is regressive & self-defeating.
2
Actually, I do think the training works. It stops nice guys from saying really stupid things that make women uncomfortable. It stop not nice guys from making those comments and having people let it slide because it is only 5% worse than what person X said.
It makes people less likely to see work as some kind of meat-market or socially acceptable Tinder or even a dating pool. We meet 1000s of people in our lives and date very few (or if people date many, they probably find places that other people that date many hang out). So, no the secretary or the young intern or your boss or your peer likely do NOT want to date you and no, you should not be asking ... and if you do ask, you can only ask once, not weekly .. It gets those sexy calendars put away and maybe hung up at home instead, it keeps people from having porn on their computer during work conversations.
What today's revelations also likely will do is make most people aware that if you are a jerk or worse a molester or a groper or a run around naked guy, you might just lose that great job .. because someone will turn you in.
Sure there are people who grouse about the training, but so what !
1
The harrasser should be told to speak to her the same as he would a man and stay away from terms such as honey, baby and sugar. This is an immediate signal that he feels he has more power than a woman. I don't think these terms would be used if the conversation was man to man. The woman should not wear revealing clothing to work such as short skirts and low cut or backless dresses. This type of dressing gives an unprofessional signal to a man and actually puts her in a less powerful position regardless of job performance and education. If a man touches a woman inappropriately, management should intervene and in extreme situations, the police should be contacted. I disagree with the statement in this article that noisy options such as dropping a box should be used; this just disturbs other employees.
6
I agree but only if there are objective standards of what requires intervention. Asking someone for coffee is not one of them. Where I worked we were very aware of not saying jokes or even compliments to females. Why? Because we believed that we could get in real trouble. Consequences are the best form of action to prevent future harassment. But they need to be objective and have a process to back them up.
2
Who is the harasser in the first illustration?
Is the red haired person a harasser for inviting the woman out for coffee and touching her arm? And the black haired person is supposed to intervene?
Or has the black haired person beem harassing her and the red haired person is getting her away from that?
22
When this latest wave of accusations began I was genuinely curious what it's like from a professional, attractive woman's perspective. So, I directly asked a few who I know well. Every one of them told me they have easily handled men who have acted appropriately. They firmly asked them to stop. That was before the current movement. Now that this movement has begun, it's as easy as stating that if the behavior doesn't stop they will be reported. This is not difficult stuff unless you want to make it that way.
4
You didn't ask the right ones, Jeff. I worked with a man who was told repeatedly to stop by victims, slapped by victims, shoved against a wall by 1 irate husband, given a black eye by another irate husband, etc. He might, MIGHT, leave some of those few alone but every new woman and all less assertive women were harassed by this man. He could never accept the idea that it wasn't "just a joke" and all the women who objected simply had no sense of humor. His behavior was so embarrassing that his daughter refused to live in the same town with him when she because an adult.
26
Oh, well if the women you know haven't run into major issues, there must not be a problem.
If this were easy, we wouldn't have such a widespread problem. Women differ, workplaces differ, harassers and abusers differ. This is a complex issue that puts millions of women in difficult spots and can have serious effects on their careers. Try to open your mind to experiences outside your immediate or it.
30
Jeff: Part of the difficulty is making the decision to say something. That changes the dynamic of the 'victims' workplace after having to put a co-worker in their place once the damage is done. The 'victim' has to come to work and will always view that co-worker differently. It is difficult stuff.
5
Simplistic and . Mostly the creeps that do this are The Bosses and rarely do people want to stand up to The Boss.
12
We're required to complete a series of online interactive training videos where I work (community college). What I found helpful was simply learning all the things that constitute harassment. I teach gender studies, yet there were things I learned and still think about. The whole thing is geared toward an assumed by-stander viewer, which now that I think about it, is pretty clever.
6
One of the most useful elements of sexual harassment policies and trainings goes like this, "The Company does not condone sexual harassment and will not pay your defense or settlement costs. The average settlement is $400,000."
Most people are likely to remember a simple number like that.
When the company and not the perpetrators pays, a culture of tolerance for sexual harassment is created.
33
This is not an accurate statement. Say it, if you don't mind lying to your employees. Individual harassers cannot be sued under Title VII. Only the actual employer can be sued, and it is the employer who is legally responsible for ensuring a professional work environment. Individuals can be sued for claims such as assault but most harassment does not qualify as assault and, even if it did, many lawyers/plaintiffs will not bother suing an individual employees because he/she lacks the resources to pay any judgment.
8
Like any form of PC standard, trying to change others thinking to match your own-- through training, counseling, therapy, forced medication, lobotomy, generally only satiates those looking to change others. PC standards gloss over things on a public level but generally just send "offenders" further into the shadows.
It can be easy to forget in the isolated cocoon of liberal NYT, that the entire world does not necessarily think like you, and many do not want to. Trump was elected president, even though the entire country disagrees with him and his politics, right? In reality, almost half the country wanted him.
And in the work place sexual harassment training is forced on all employees, along with your signature. HR will have a huge issue if you don't sign the employee attendance list. Does anyone really think that changes your thinking? It may make you less vocal about things, but it just pushes things into the shadows.
6
Who cares what you "think", unless you can read minds you don't know. It is what you "DO" that counts. So think whatever you like, do what is acceptable or else.
11
In reality, which is where I live, 25% of the country voted for him. In reality, 25% is not "half".
Since we're talking about reality, I'd also like to mention that in reality, most women don't want to be grabbed by their privates, even if the grabber is a rich guy with an ego visible from the ISS. (We have a space program in reality.)
13
Considering the low voter turnout in this country, the fact that less than half the actual voters went for Trump means he was elected by fewer than 25% of us—far FEWER than his opponent.
And unless you have some data to back up your assertion that offenders will be pushed 'further into the shadows' by training, you're just blowing smoke.
Oh, and the fact that this training is necessary means they're not even IN the shadows at present.
4
Hopefully, all harassment training starts with these four simple workplace rules:
1. Do not expose your genitals to your coworkers (except in the course of performing normal bathroom functions).
2. Do not touch you genitals or ask or cause anyone else to touch them.
3. Do not discuss your genitals or anyone else's.
4. Do not interact, in any way, with pornography.
Then, from there, we can proceed to other important topics
29
Surely you joke, these are only a very few of the things that can be considered harassment. Even giving a compliment could be considered that if done consistently.
2
Most of your suggestions are code words for "playing the card", ie women need special treatment and everybody but them must come to their aid.
What is really needed besides regular training is how not to be a co dependent or enabler training for men and women.
Claire, I think you should be the first student.
Pre 1980, the predator ruled.
Post 1980, although justice finally came to many women, the co dependents and enablers of all types male and female from powerful higher ups to the woman who takes 30 yrs to complain or worse when the promotions stop or worse still initiates the sexual activity, started to come out of the woodwork and let the predators back in.
I saw many women receive justice in my corporation post 1980, some of them against higher up men. This is the way to go, not "playing the card" ie women are fragile beings that can't fend for themselves.
5
Yup. My tiny grandmother knew the many uses of a nice sharp hatpin.
3
Since we recognize a spectrum of gender identities and there is an enormous range of personalities in humans, the examples and cartoons in this article seem very limited.
Consider using some aggressive female on shy male examples, for example.
1
Hey NYT, can you guys do a follow up piece on next steps if reporting sexual harassment in the workplace is ignored? I am an attorney at a law firm who was inspired by all of the women coming forward lately and reported a superior for sexual harassment. The head of the firm swept it under the rug. Not sure what to do next. Thank you for focusing on such an important issue.
43
Find another job in an organization that values you more would be number one on my list. Very Simple!!! If you are an attorney you should know suing is possible, but difficult.
1
"Another found a backlash against training when it was done by a woman but not a man." What!! Does this line in the article raise anyone else's hackles?
24
You actually have to read the primary article. The author simplified it significantly. Be prepared however--it is in the "sociolegal" literature and relies on standard statistical methods to infer conclusions from a study done with college undergraduates. Incomprehensible social science jargon aside, there were a couple of interesting conclusions...but you'll have to read it yourself....too painful for me to summarize here!
5
We've had it where I work and a VP came out of his office after having taking the training and said "where was the sex in the sexual harassment training; I needed to see more sex." And then he kept on laughing about how witty he was. Yet I've been in meetings with the same man where he asked for the person showing slides of people for a potential marketing campaign to zoom in "real close on her breasts." Sexual harassment training is a start but a very poor one because it doesn't encourage anyone to put themselves in the other person's shoes for a moment.
18
You had traditional sexual harassment training, or bystander training like this article suggests? Bystander training focuses on how to respond to what is happening to someone else, so it does involve putting yourself in another person’s shoes. I’m not surprised if your VP reacted like a defensive jerk to traditional training. If he responded that way to bystander training... I’m not sure what to say.
6
Bystander training could be effective but only if those trained want to get involved and consider the actions to be inappropriate. Insisting on intervention from everyone is foolish.
As a Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer, I designed, and we regularly offer, a case study based, interactive workshop for staff titled "Active Bystander, Active Self." The workshop empowers both bystanders and targets of harassment, demeaning or disrespectful actions or remarks. Staff feel relieved to have tools they can use in real time. Some are similar to those described in the article. However, the article seems to suggest that distraction or other forms of indirect interruption, or chatting with the initiator of the problem afterwards, are usually the best strategy. Between colleagues, however, rather than in a stranger situation, it can be important to interrupt in a way that allows all present to know the matter has been addressed. This is especially true for blatant conduct. We include a simple formula I learned years ago from Amherst Professor Austin Sarat, that I have taught to adults and to youth as young as seventh graders to address behaviors: Name it, Claim it, Change it. In other words: Name it = "That's disrespectul" or "That's sexual harassment". Claim it = "We don't do that here" or "That's inconsistent with our core value of respect". Change it = "Please don't make that kind of remark again" or "Don't touch anyone like that at work."
52
Chief Diversity and Inclusion Officer - what a laughable title. Translation - try to protect the company from lawsuits.
5
No. It means improving the company by making sure that the best people are hired rather than the people most similar to the people doing the hiring.
1
Another approach is to treat sexual harassment as what it really is: an abuse of power. By addressing the abuse of power root-cause the discussion gets to the point where both genders realize that abusing whatever power they have is wrong and the abuse isn’t always men abusing women and it isn’t always about sex. Humans, given power, will do things with that power. As Robert Caro noted: “Power reveals.” What it reveals is something about the person with the power and their character.
In the end any session should wind up with the recognition that the age old dictum of: “Do not do to others that which you would not have done to you” still applies to all human interactions.
FWIW: In my career I have found myself in very uncomfortable situations with women in the workplace abusing their power both administratively as well as sexually. This is not a one-way-street.
22