Why isn't anyone asking WHY CHILDREN are using phones after 10pm at night? Our children say they are the only ones in the world not allowed to have their phones in their bedrooms, and yet they wake up easily and on time, get themselves ready for school, and are not involved in any of these apps or issues. Parents need to control the expensive devised they provide as a privilege to their children and be responsible parents.
29
Totally agree! My 3 kids (two middle schoolers!) have no phones at all other than one shared flip phone for emergencies. They have iPods for audio books and approved games. No social media + we talk about the dangers of it (because someday they will have all that and I want them to be good online citizens). No doubt I'll have a trickier time as they get older. But I'm going to try to hold the line as long as I can.
20
Not giving my kids any phones or tablets until they're old enough to earn to pay for one themselves.
Parents, you are enabling your kids by handing over to them these devices.
Don't go there. Yes, it CAN be done. Did you grow up without a cell or smart phone? You're still alive, right? Old style flip phone will do fine if so needed.
Parents, you are enabling your kids by handing over to them these devices.
Don't go there. Yes, it CAN be done. Did you grow up without a cell or smart phone? You're still alive, right? Old style flip phone will do fine if so needed.
19
The thing is, they are still likely to see and perhaps participate in these apps even without their own personal device. I agree with holding off as long as possible, but it's important to be realistic about what they may have access to in spite of your plans.
12
I know many, many parents who give expensive iPhones or similar, to children as young as 7 and 8. For pre-teens, say 10-14, it is now a must -- like breathing oxygen. Schools no longer prohibit phones or make you turn them off. I've been in my local schools and see kids openly using phones, even in class.
When I ask "why" -- being an old fuddy duddy -- I am told "if my child does not have the latest phone with every feature and wi fi and unlimited data....what if they need to reach me in an EMERGENCY????"
I ask "what emergency could there be IN SCHOOL, and furthermore, wouldn't a simple flip phone allow them to call you?"
And I get the nastiest stink eye you can imagine -- as if I called them or their children stupid or racist names.
Helicopter parents like to TELL THEMSELVES that stranger abductions are very common (when in fact, they are VERY rare) and that if their child IS abducted....they can save them, because the child will CALL THE PARENT on their expensive high tech smart phone.
Just think for a minute how utterly stupid that idea is.
When I ask "why" -- being an old fuddy duddy -- I am told "if my child does not have the latest phone with every feature and wi fi and unlimited data....what if they need to reach me in an EMERGENCY????"
I ask "what emergency could there be IN SCHOOL, and furthermore, wouldn't a simple flip phone allow them to call you?"
And I get the nastiest stink eye you can imagine -- as if I called them or their children stupid or racist names.
Helicopter parents like to TELL THEMSELVES that stranger abductions are very common (when in fact, they are VERY rare) and that if their child IS abducted....they can save them, because the child will CALL THE PARENT on their expensive high tech smart phone.
Just think for a minute how utterly stupid that idea is.
1
I think it's funny that this Dawn Dunscombe lady believes with zero evidence that it wasn't actually her daughter's account. Merely because she thinks her daughter would never talk "rude". Even 30 years ago, we all used to blame things on our friends when we got caught by disapproving mothers, and as far as our mothers were concerned, we never swore. I thought parents today were less naive but I guess not.
9
They are MORE naive.
If only there were a dollar for every parent who swore their child wasn't having sex yet (but the child is pregnant!) or isn't interested in boys (when they are sexually active) -- their child would NEVER EVER drink or smoke (and they get drunk every weekend, and smoke like a fish).
Parents are not only naive about kids -- it is the really smart, clever kids who are absolutely expert at lying and deceiving parents with an innocent look on their faces.
If only there were a dollar for every parent who swore their child wasn't having sex yet (but the child is pregnant!) or isn't interested in boys (when they are sexually active) -- their child would NEVER EVER drink or smoke (and they get drunk every weekend, and smoke like a fish).
Parents are not only naive about kids -- it is the really smart, clever kids who are absolutely expert at lying and deceiving parents with an innocent look on their faces.
The apps and the hardware are just tools for better or worse, and while they should be monitored, that is often a difficult task. What really should be worrying parents and educators is the rampant, cold hearted cruelty expressed through them by way too many of our children against their peers. Will this enabling of sadistic behavior - because there is no other way than sadistic to describe the cyberbullying that does on - create a generation of sociopaths or at least a great many people with sociopathic/psychopathic tendencies?
17
Children have always bullied -- look at "Lord of the Flies" -- but giving CHILDREN a powerful social media tool like a smartphone, texting, apps, etc. is like pouring gasoline on a fire. Social media plus technology and smartphones, have made bullying 1000 times worse than before.
God, I miss the 90s.
39
My 9-year-old has no devices with internet access. But of course, that day will come. She has a curious, outgoing, and somewhat risk-seeking personality. This article frankly terrifies me.
9
It should terrify you!
BE STRONG. No child under 16 "needs" the latest smartphone with every feature.
Due to the lack of pay phones today....yes, a child over age 10 should have a simple, basic flip phone (the kind you can buy at the Dollar Store) and a enough minutes that they can make basic calls to parents to let them know about rides and such.
THAT IS IT. It is just the worst idea in human history to give naive kids without moral guidance, a device that is a PORTAL to pornography, and to doing things like sexting, bullying, sending nude photos, flirting inappropriately with much older men, etc.
BE STRONG. No child under 16 "needs" the latest smartphone with every feature.
Due to the lack of pay phones today....yes, a child over age 10 should have a simple, basic flip phone (the kind you can buy at the Dollar Store) and a enough minutes that they can make basic calls to parents to let them know about rides and such.
THAT IS IT. It is just the worst idea in human history to give naive kids without moral guidance, a device that is a PORTAL to pornography, and to doing things like sexting, bullying, sending nude photos, flirting inappropriately with much older men, etc.
1
As someone from a younger generation, allow me to offer other readers as well as current parents of teenagers a different perspective. This article speaks about terrible stories that have happened to kids/parents as a result of a misuse of apps and technology. It’s almost as if Krischer wants parents to try to limit their kids use of these apps and technology.
What if the issue isn't with technology, it was in our approach to it. Everyone is so quick to blame the technology, but never the kid. Your kid is always the victim. Well I hate to break it to you parents out there, but your kid is the perpetrator at times too. Look at the Harvard students who had their admissions taken away. We could blame facebook. But the cold truth is on a more fundamental level, had they not done the profane things they were caught on camera doing, they would be at Harvard right now.
How can you seek to limit your child's activity online, when they are growing up in a world in with which these technologies are ever more used. You are fighting a battle you cannot win. If your kid isn't in front of you doing these things, then he’s at the library on the computer doing it. She’s out of the house doing it on her mobile device, and deleting it before she gets home. Bullying, sexual harassment, and the like can happen anywhere. Rather than controlling your children’s devices, teach your child to be intelligent, have self respect, be honest and to recognize signs of potential dangers online.
What if the issue isn't with technology, it was in our approach to it. Everyone is so quick to blame the technology, but never the kid. Your kid is always the victim. Well I hate to break it to you parents out there, but your kid is the perpetrator at times too. Look at the Harvard students who had their admissions taken away. We could blame facebook. But the cold truth is on a more fundamental level, had they not done the profane things they were caught on camera doing, they would be at Harvard right now.
How can you seek to limit your child's activity online, when they are growing up in a world in with which these technologies are ever more used. You are fighting a battle you cannot win. If your kid isn't in front of you doing these things, then he’s at the library on the computer doing it. She’s out of the house doing it on her mobile device, and deleting it before she gets home. Bullying, sexual harassment, and the like can happen anywhere. Rather than controlling your children’s devices, teach your child to be intelligent, have self respect, be honest and to recognize signs of potential dangers online.
40
It's very simple. Go to the hardware store.
Buy an inexpensive hammer.
Put the iPhone on a sturdy work table.
Smash the iPhone with the hammer.
Problem solved.
NO child "needs" a fancy smartphone, data plan, unlimited texts, etc. At most, a child over 10 might need the most basic flip phone.
Computers can be monitored by parents. Most children do not do homework at the library -- I know, I go to the library often AND I am a volunteer at the library helping kids with homework. All kids at the library are doing is playing video games, downloading junk, sending IMs and so on. You do not have to let your child go to the library unsupervised!!!
Buy an inexpensive hammer.
Put the iPhone on a sturdy work table.
Smash the iPhone with the hammer.
Problem solved.
NO child "needs" a fancy smartphone, data plan, unlimited texts, etc. At most, a child over 10 might need the most basic flip phone.
Computers can be monitored by parents. Most children do not do homework at the library -- I know, I go to the library often AND I am a volunteer at the library helping kids with homework. All kids at the library are doing is playing video games, downloading junk, sending IMs and so on. You do not have to let your child go to the library unsupervised!!!
12
I recall a quote from about 25 years ago. I believe it was attributed to Bill Gates, but perhaps not. It went, "Technology just makes you who you are, only more so."
I am so glad my son is 31. All I had to deal with were flip phones.
Best of luck folks. I'm rooting for you.
I am so glad my son is 31. All I had to deal with were flip phones.
Best of luck folks. I'm rooting for you.
21
Why are your kids awake at 10pm?
14
And, P.S., anyone who DOESN'T have a teen right now who is using electronics shouldn't be saying this is easy or a "no brainer." I invite you to give it a try. It is very difficult to stay abreast of quickly advancing technology, the proliferation of apps, the ease of setting up stealth apps, etc. The only "easy" solution is to prohibit smartphones/iPads/laptops. But good luck with that. It is not only how kids communicate today (they NEVER call each other and don't even text that much anymore), putting your kid at risk for being the one who isn't part of the social milieu of his peers, but access to some of these devices is required for schoolwork!
76
Monitoring teens' activities is a parent's job. If I had teens now, they would be required to place their phones in a recharging station in a common area every evening, not take into their bedrooms. No computers or TV sets either. It seems like a no brainer.
29
Yes, those steps are "no brainers" for overuse of electronics, but do nothing to address the issues raised in the article - apps with content that disappears or is difficult to monitor.
35
Bingo...technology goes in my wife's office every night at bed time.
4
Although I agree that making sure technology is tightly controlled at night - part of problem is the rampant use of technology is so pervasive for kids it bleeds into everything. If you go to a football or basketball game or other teen gathering place where it used to be about interacting and socializing together- a lot of the kids aren't watching the game, they've all got their phones in their hands, looking down and might even be sharing content with the person sitting right next to them, instead of leaning over and just talking. The best my husband and I can do is to keep talking with our kids and let them know our expectations of their social conduct, both in person and online. We reinforce the message that "if you think you or someone else is 'only mean online' you're wrong- they're just mean". The other helpful strategy we use is to keep in touch with the parents of our kids' good friends so we can let all the kids know that as a group of adults we have similar expectations of their behavior and like parents in a physical neighborhood, we keep an eye on the kids digitally, as well.
17
They screamed for a few days, but I told them either you deal with it or you pay for it. They stopped complaining.
Sure they might use a locally installed app in the after hours but at least they're not connected.