Thanks Roger! Made my day.
Roger , I just wrote a response that was apparently too long and was discarded
I put a lot of thought and emotion into it , and don't think that I can replicate it right now . But the basic thoughts are these :
I often feel that I am living a nightmare with the Orange Slob threatening . . .
Reviewing American History , we have never had such a dishonest "leader"
He is totally bluff and puff ( Trump "University" - a total fraud and joke )
It is scary to have such a sick , needy , self-serving person with nukes
This joker came to power on a false story , the "birther " myth
He rode that myth , which fed on hidden racism within the Anerican heartland
New Yorkers for years had laughed and sneered at poser tRupm
The press gave him much too much coverage on that false story -> credibility
Many uneducated and poorly informed liked him ( "outspoken" , brash )
He became president amidst a lot of shady doings ( Flynn , Russia, Kushner )
This clown has in fat little fingers on the nuclear codes
His poor self-concept makes him ever so dangerous if cornered and unmasked
For those who were looking for a breath of fresh air in tRump , breathe deeply
For the rest of us , loyal to the Constitution and democracy and decency . . .
RESIST !
Let's return America to its senses , to decency , to good , honest governance
Let's elect rational , intelligent , democratic , decent and educated leaders
By all means lawful and legal RESIST !
I put a lot of thought and emotion into it , and don't think that I can replicate it right now . But the basic thoughts are these :
I often feel that I am living a nightmare with the Orange Slob threatening . . .
Reviewing American History , we have never had such a dishonest "leader"
He is totally bluff and puff ( Trump "University" - a total fraud and joke )
It is scary to have such a sick , needy , self-serving person with nukes
This joker came to power on a false story , the "birther " myth
He rode that myth , which fed on hidden racism within the Anerican heartland
New Yorkers for years had laughed and sneered at poser tRupm
The press gave him much too much coverage on that false story -> credibility
Many uneducated and poorly informed liked him ( "outspoken" , brash )
He became president amidst a lot of shady doings ( Flynn , Russia, Kushner )
This clown has in fat little fingers on the nuclear codes
His poor self-concept makes him ever so dangerous if cornered and unmasked
For those who were looking for a breath of fresh air in tRump , breathe deeply
For the rest of us , loyal to the Constitution and democracy and decency . . .
RESIST !
Let's return America to its senses , to decency , to good , honest governance
Let's elect rational , intelligent , democratic , decent and educated leaders
By all means lawful and legal RESIST !
21
Brilliant!
5
Donald Trump is the humorless Austin Powers. "Yech, Baby!"
4
"Nuking Pyongyang" is a terrible way to get out of a trap and a losing score.
3
I wanted to ask of myself many times, "How many Trump voters, not donors, play golf?" hoping to gain insight into his support. But that is the wrong question to ask. They continued to support him when he raged against Megyn Kelly, when he trashed the reputation of Sen John McCain, when the Access Hollywood tape was aired, and for countless other acts of what would be political suicide. And that base remains mostly loyal and dedicated.
They didn't vote FOR him for those reasons, they voted AGAINST urban, educated progressives. Well, maybe against just urban and educated. They imagined, and rightly so, that Trump would put his finger in the polite and thoughtful eye of all of them. Conservative, progressive, it doesn't matter if provided they are thoughtful, well informed and respectful. That is precisely what the base cannot stand.
Golf? That game of the privileged, the untold acres of green, resource consuming playgrounds of those who have, often in spades, what the base longs for? Trump they will say has earned it; he is a great businessman.
When we pull back the curtain (if there has ever been one!) on his wizardry we find only a huckster, a tabloid wanna be, a reality show entertainer. To us who are educated, thoughtful and respectful, he is an embarrassment and a fool albeit a clever one.
To his base, who read the tabloids, watch his shows, and eagerly buy into his con, they are only too eager to watch him tee up. On the course on on North Korea.
They didn't vote FOR him for those reasons, they voted AGAINST urban, educated progressives. Well, maybe against just urban and educated. They imagined, and rightly so, that Trump would put his finger in the polite and thoughtful eye of all of them. Conservative, progressive, it doesn't matter if provided they are thoughtful, well informed and respectful. That is precisely what the base cannot stand.
Golf? That game of the privileged, the untold acres of green, resource consuming playgrounds of those who have, often in spades, what the base longs for? Trump they will say has earned it; he is a great businessman.
When we pull back the curtain (if there has ever been one!) on his wizardry we find only a huckster, a tabloid wanna be, a reality show entertainer. To us who are educated, thoughtful and respectful, he is an embarrassment and a fool albeit a clever one.
To his base, who read the tabloids, watch his shows, and eagerly buy into his con, they are only too eager to watch him tee up. On the course on on North Korea.
19
Please send this to all the golfers you know. A lot of them like their gentlemans game, look backward to tradition as a behavioral guideline, and more likely live in warm weather states who voted decisively for Trump.
5
Would be would be hilarious if not true.
3
Hits ball. Blames caddy.
11
trump cheats at golf. That, in itself, should tell you what you need to know.
13
How do you know when the Prevaricator-in-Chief is lying? (Your answer here...)
4
Donald can play golf any way he wants (no rules, change the rules, whatever) on his very own courses, but he can't play with democracy like that. He doesn't own it. It belongs to "we, the people". He is supposed to be the steward of a document that founded our country. It is not a golf scorecard. It has my future and the future of my children and grandchildren embedded in it. His rally crews can cheer for his crooked golf scores. I want to cheer for what my country is supposed to mean for me...and the world.
8
Now THAT'S funny! Then Trump uses his actual score of 53 as his score for 18 holes. I wonder what a new set of golf clubs every day costs the taxpayers, as he no doubt snaps his clubs in frustration daily. Stupid, Democratic clubs.
8
Well done. Points straight to the fact that Donald is being recognized as his own worst feat: He is nothing more than a big bad joke. Worse than a loser, a laughing stock.
6
CNN had an article and video telling us that Trump cheats at golf! I'm shocked I tell you shocked! Don't tell his base.
6
Ridiculous waste of ink and or keystrokes
So, when Trump swings on a ball and shouts "Fore", what he really means is "Four", as in four more years of really bad "golf".
1
And he does all this with those painful bone spurs.
12
In case it isn't yet clear to everyone, Rodney Dangerfield's character from Caddyshack (Al Czervik) now occupies 1600 PA Ave and has the nuclear football in his golf cart.
7
They don't have golf in federal prison, do they?
9
Hole-in-One: Trump drives a nuclear weapon directly toward the center of North Korea but it veers off course and hits China (the sand trap). It's clearly a mistake; but Trump, unable to admit mistakes, claims it was designed to get China to see the how strong we are and how they should have used their influence to stop Kim from threatening us. China reacts; and the rest is the end of history!
10
Yesterday my brother had me in stitches over "Trump thinks Merkel is a man" and now this --- keep it coming. I need lots and lots of laughter!
4
Good fun but the reality is scary. He has now joined Kim Jong Un in singing a duet "Anything you can do, I can do better" but it may be far worse for all the rest of us.
5
Disgusting article and disgusting comments. I'm pleased that you are all amused by madness.
2
We need deeds, not words.
Anyone wonder why our democracy will take at least 4 years to merely hopefully stop (but probably not fully recover) catastrophic damage that just one bad sport can create each and every day.
Anyone wonder why our democracy will take at least 4 years to merely hopefully stop (but probably not fully recover) catastrophic damage that just one bad sport can create each and every day.
1
An analysis of his presidency that even Trump can understand.
However, he won't get past reading halfway into the second hole due to his short attention span.
FORE!
However, he won't get past reading halfway into the second hole due to his short attention span.
FORE!
3
For a in-depth look at trump's golf game (and other things golf-related) I suggest reading the article by Alan Shipnuck in the August 7 issue of Sports Illustrated. Much of this information was out there before the election, but either few knew about it or believed it. No way this fool should be in the White House.
2
Until Americans stop choosing their President like in the scene from the movie 'Moneyball", nothing will ever change. And you know what? Nothing will ever change. At the end of the day, and in their heart, American voters continue to be just a bunch of old 'p'arts like in the clip.
Search: Scene from Moneyball - What is the problem?
Search: Scene from Moneyball - What is the problem?
Once we get rid of the electoral college good ol' boys club our choices for presidents will finally make sense. W,jr. and djtrump didn't really win. They were appointed: Twice in W,jr.'s case with the Supremes and the e. college back in 2000, and so far the donald's luck had help from a red star and the e. college disease. I realize that continuing to mention, allude to, harp about, and generally distain are a working requirement to excise the M & M(malignant & metastasizing) constitutional cancerous tumor plaguing the nation's bid to enter the 21st century. Morally illegitimate, and medically killing the country as any patient on the O.R. cutting table.
When Obama played golf it was the greatest thing in the world, but when Trump play golf it's the worst thing in the world.
Uh ... the greatest thing in the world ... ? What newspapers have you been reading lately?
That being said, I took your second comment here as an occasion to go fact-checking what I just answered you below, when you claimed that Obama, contrary to Trump, golfed more than any other president.
Apparently, I was half right, half wrong.
It told you Trump already golfed 54 times. Actually, he went to a golf course 54 times, but as often he refuses to let the press in, it's not always clear whether he golfed or not.
So when it comes to real PICTURES of Trump golfing as president, we're at 21 by Aug. 1. By that time in his presidency, Obama golfed 11 times. And went 11 times to golf courses.
So Trump is at LEAST at twice the number Obama had by now ...
Next?
That being said, I took your second comment here as an occasion to go fact-checking what I just answered you below, when you claimed that Obama, contrary to Trump, golfed more than any other president.
Apparently, I was half right, half wrong.
It told you Trump already golfed 54 times. Actually, he went to a golf course 54 times, but as often he refuses to let the press in, it's not always clear whether he golfed or not.
So when it comes to real PICTURES of Trump golfing as president, we're at 21 by Aug. 1. By that time in his presidency, Obama golfed 11 times. And went 11 times to golf courses.
So Trump is at LEAST at twice the number Obama had by now ...
Next?
3
I would like to know how Trump actually does at golf compared with the Bushes, Obama and Clinton. The few times I've seen footage, he seems to have a really awkward swing. I'd also like to know how he did in school and on his college exams, including GREs, since his AG seems to be going after affirmative action. A humorist in the New Yorker made fun of his inability to speak in complete sentences, which I assume is why he announces his war plans on Twitter.
4
The problem with satire in the age of Trump is that it never comes anywhere close to suggesting the actual, horrible absurdity of the reality.
12
I have played golf now for over 30 years. I can only recall two persons whom I would never play with again. Both were cheats.
3
Can't wait for back nine scorecard....
2
"Yes you can", wait and hope nothing comes of it. Perhaps the best we could hope for is the demander in creep turns to 'Goofy Golf'.
1
..and the winner of the "Green Jacket" is Roger Cohen for this 'Master'ful and absolutely hilarious column!
3
Why is this not an Editorial Pick?
Best response to this brilliant column!
Best response to this brilliant column!
1
Remarkable that you missed the fact that he drove right off the course into the Repeal and Replace quicksand only to say that "Mitch McConnell was driving, not me."
7
Wonderful article. I understand that DJT has petitioned the PGA for a card so he can play in and win all the PGA events. However, he has asked for permission to drive his golf cart on the course as well as the greens because he has bone spurs. The PGA has requested certified x-rays of his bone spurs before it can consider his request. He has failed to deliver the x-rays. Therefore, the PGA has sent a team of lawyers to look into this, and they can't believe what they are finding.
Many people are saying this.
Many people are saying this.
23
There is nothing wonderful about any article having to do with our mad president.
The mere thought of him is frightening. The world laughs about him and trembles at the same time. And what do we and our representatives do? NOTHING. Truly disgusting!
The mere thought of him is frightening. The world laughs about him and trembles at the same time. And what do we and our representatives do? NOTHING. Truly disgusting!
wow - if true, he lies to himself about how to count to seven ... !?!?
reminds me of a disruptive boy at childcare (with a selfish neglectful drug addict mother, he's always seeking attention - his grandmother overcompensating, tells him he's wonderful and can do anything he likes) - during a group game, he got 'out' in the first round, but refused to sit down like the others. He just ignored the adults' repeated orders to sit down and continued to 'play' until the last round when the last boy got 'out'. His face lit up with surprise and he exclaimed 'so I WON !?!?!?' and did a little dance of delight to himself.
All the adults watching shook their heads sadly - what kind of person is this deluded little damaged individual going to grow up into ... ?
Now we can see - maybe the POTUS ... why destroy just one life when you can have the potential to destroy the world ... ?
reminds me of a disruptive boy at childcare (with a selfish neglectful drug addict mother, he's always seeking attention - his grandmother overcompensating, tells him he's wonderful and can do anything he likes) - during a group game, he got 'out' in the first round, but refused to sit down like the others. He just ignored the adults' repeated orders to sit down and continued to 'play' until the last round when the last boy got 'out'. His face lit up with surprise and he exclaimed 'so I WON !?!?!?' and did a little dance of delight to himself.
All the adults watching shook their heads sadly - what kind of person is this deluded little damaged individual going to grow up into ... ?
Now we can see - maybe the POTUS ... why destroy just one life when you can have the potential to destroy the world ... ?
8
No doubt, this is a clever article. But we're not talking about some quaintly, laughable oaf, here, we're talking about the actual President of the United States, and how he is a lying, cheating, stealing, sociopathic monster who is currently using Twitter to threaten another country with nuclear war - and there is nothing funny or clever about that.
20
Nothing clever about ay article regarding Trump. It is all frightening.
1
'I will not read another donald trump article, will not read another donald trump article....O.K., just one more'
14
mannpeter--It's like being unable to look away from a fatal, bloody accident.
4
After the audits, I trust Robert Mueller will say that POTUS actual score is 53, not the 36 fabulous, beautiful, outstanding, score. He may be the best golfer in the planet, but I am not sure if he is better than Putin. Now here's an ideia for a POTUS vs. Putin Golf Match. It would draw a HUGE crowd in New Jersey.
4
A very, very clever piece, Roger Cohen!!
5
What's the big deal? Obama played golf. Did Mr. Cohen write about that? Obama wasted more time on the links than any other president.
2
Except Trump
2
False.
Trump already golfed more in his first six months (54 days) than Obama in his entire two terms. Look it up, and you'll see.
Trump already golfed more in his first six months (54 days) than Obama in his entire two terms. Look it up, and you'll see.
7
Until Trump --- he is burning his golf time allocation at record speed.
3
Let him cheat to his heart's content, to the lowest under par score the world has never seen before. He will be so proud to be the best age shooter.
1
Who plays golf in a business suit and a baseball cap? Doesn't he like pink?
3
I would rank Trump's first six months as an 8. As in, he lowered his golf handicap to 8.
2
Absolutely brilliant
3
Absolutely frightening!
1
This will probably turn out to become the Times article that will set a new, unpresidented record in enraging Trump.
6
Fox News reports that Trump has set a new course record.
5
You mean a new Coarse record.
2
I can't see the eagles and birdies flying in the soon to be gone blue skies. I am deep inside my underground bunker, in my hole in the ground, hoping the war of the hair styles will be over soon. Events are on par with my prediction that the next four years will be a rough ride, with Trump's cart-blanche politics driving us down unfair ways. How this man is allowed to throw down the US flag repeatedly is a mystery, even as he putters away foolishly, turning away from all the progress in green energy and human rights......
6
Funny. But, of course, it is better that he isn't doing his real job. It's all like a horrible nightmare.
6
What's so funny about a mad man who is ready to burn up the world? I'm glad some dull-minded Americans are amused. I'm not the brightest like in the universe, but I am not amused by the danger we are in.
Strange sport.
I don't know anything about golf, so I can't really read this article as too many words used here don't have any meaning for a non golfer.
But this must be the only sport where, if I understood well, the higher your score, the worse you're doing?
NOW I see what Trump meant when he promised "so much winning" ...
I don't know anything about golf, so I can't really read this article as too many words used here don't have any meaning for a non golfer.
But this must be the only sport where, if I understood well, the higher your score, the worse you're doing?
NOW I see what Trump meant when he promised "so much winning" ...
4
Trump actually makes a hole-in-one.
Writes score as "Zero."
Writes score as "Zero."
7
The monocultural NY Times readership is well-displayed in the comments (with the exception of Eric, though honestly I couldn't bear to read through the entire list, so possibly there were others). One has to believe in a lot of silly, skewed, unprovable things to get a belly-laugh out of Mr. Cohen's effort at satire. As a Trump voter I have noticed what may be an irony: for all the charges of "hate" connected to Mr. Trump, I have never in my lifetime seen such a sustained hatred of a man as from those who must still be shedding tears over Mrs. Clinton.
2
Time to wake up: a lot of people hate him because of what he says he wants to do with this country.
In a democracy, you always have at least two visions for the future, politically, and trying to deny that fact, as you seem to be doing, won't help us moving forward. If you want to fight an enemy, you better first try to see him, rather than looking away.
Secondly, there's also a reason, of course, why the majority of the American people hate what Trump stands for. It's because just like most of today's Republicans, for the first time in history, proven facts and objective science aren't taken into account by them anymore. Never have conservatives had such a low confidence in their own philosophy that instead of constantly evolving and developing it according to the new facts that inevitably arise day after day (as conservatives all over the world and in America have done for centuries, which is why there's still around today), they prefer to stick their head in the sand and imagine that facts and science don't exist and are simply politics played by their "enemy".
In the same way, you clearly don't feel any need to try to prove where this satire would actually be wrong, unfortunately.
As far as I'm concerned, I hope that one day, a real, respectful debate among people who disagree will be possible again, because without such a debate, a democracy cannot thrive.
So with that ... any comments on substance? I'll be happy to read them (no irony).
In a democracy, you always have at least two visions for the future, politically, and trying to deny that fact, as you seem to be doing, won't help us moving forward. If you want to fight an enemy, you better first try to see him, rather than looking away.
Secondly, there's also a reason, of course, why the majority of the American people hate what Trump stands for. It's because just like most of today's Republicans, for the first time in history, proven facts and objective science aren't taken into account by them anymore. Never have conservatives had such a low confidence in their own philosophy that instead of constantly evolving and developing it according to the new facts that inevitably arise day after day (as conservatives all over the world and in America have done for centuries, which is why there's still around today), they prefer to stick their head in the sand and imagine that facts and science don't exist and are simply politics played by their "enemy".
In the same way, you clearly don't feel any need to try to prove where this satire would actually be wrong, unfortunately.
As far as I'm concerned, I hope that one day, a real, respectful debate among people who disagree will be possible again, because without such a debate, a democracy cannot thrive.
So with that ... any comments on substance? I'll be happy to read them (no irony).
16
President Trump decidedly does not want to turn this country into a likeness of the European Union. On the social front, he's opposed to abortion, and while not hostile to this newest craze of the left, clearly sees the folly of allowing "transgenders" in the military. And I suspect he would have the same wrenching reaction that I had to the video of a young, depressed, but otherwise healthy Belgian woman who was granted the "right to die" by the committee in charge of such things (at the end of the video she had changed her mind). What kind of country does that? Thankfully, not the United States.
Another thing he wants to do with this country is maintain it's national sovereignty. By definition a nation consists of a common territory, culture, and language. A country proud and able to share the glories of its past. As such he is opposed to the wholesale migration of the middle-eastern "refugees," a surprising percentage of whom are male and of military age. He wants to reduce the levels of immigration, because when 90% of immigration comes from the third-world we become an amalgamation of so many conflicting identities that there is nothing left to our national identity, or "out of too many, nothing." Some good restaurants, yes, but otherwise see Tower of Babel.
Russian collusion? Because he expressed admiration for Putin, the newest bogeyman of the left. Because he sees a common interest in fighting terrorism? The satire is a mass of cheap, partisan shots.
Another thing he wants to do with this country is maintain it's national sovereignty. By definition a nation consists of a common territory, culture, and language. A country proud and able to share the glories of its past. As such he is opposed to the wholesale migration of the middle-eastern "refugees," a surprising percentage of whom are male and of military age. He wants to reduce the levels of immigration, because when 90% of immigration comes from the third-world we become an amalgamation of so many conflicting identities that there is nothing left to our national identity, or "out of too many, nothing." Some good restaurants, yes, but otherwise see Tower of Babel.
Russian collusion? Because he expressed admiration for Putin, the newest bogeyman of the left. Because he sees a common interest in fighting terrorism? The satire is a mass of cheap, partisan shots.
4
I never shed tears over Clinton. I didn't care for her, but voted for her because there was no other rational choice. Sorry, but as Mike Bloomberg said, he's a con man. He still has you conned.
Comedy is our relief from stress. If you didn't like the column or the comments, why did you read them?
Comedy is our relief from stress. If you didn't like the column or the comments, why did you read them?
11
You left out one unforgiveable sin to golfers.
He ruins the greens for anyone playing after him.
Not only does he drive across the greens and the approach, he doesn't repair his divots.
The man doesn't care.
Kinda' reflects his mark in the real world off the course as well.
He ruins the greens for anyone playing after him.
Not only does he drive across the greens and the approach, he doesn't repair his divots.
The man doesn't care.
Kinda' reflects his mark in the real world off the course as well.
12
Golf is game that few are born to play. To play it well requires years of dedication ,concentration, and constant practice. It also, and above all, requires you to be honest. It is you against the golf course. There are many rules but there is one rule that takes precedent above all " you play the ball as it lies". You don't move it because you don't likes its position, you count the strokes every time you take a swing at it-even if you miss it. You record every stroke and you record it as it is. Trump lies all the time and I am quite sure he lies his way around the golf course. I know a few people who played with him-and he plays a creditable game of golf-but he is not a single digit player-more like mid to hi-80's. But no matter as he lies in life he lies on the golf course and is not to be trusted. It is as simple as that. I rather play with a 90 golfer who records every stroke. That is what we need a great 90s golfer-please where is Ike
3
This column probably was fun for Roger Cohen to write, and it certainly was fun to read.
I wonder if Donald Trump does cheat at golf. When I played a lot of golf, there was always a caveat among businessmen and professional people: “Don’t go into business with a man who cheats at golf or on his wife. He won’t hesitate to cheat you.”
Is it any wonder that Donald Trump – a double-dipper in the cheating department – built a career telling lies and leaving a trail of unpaid creditors and contractors?
I wonder if Donald Trump does cheat at golf. When I played a lot of golf, there was always a caveat among businessmen and professional people: “Don’t go into business with a man who cheats at golf or on his wife. He won’t hesitate to cheat you.”
Is it any wonder that Donald Trump – a double-dipper in the cheating department – built a career telling lies and leaving a trail of unpaid creditors and contractors?
8
SDW, I'm pleased that you had fun reading this nonsense while our president has put the world in the brink of disaster. I'm also please that he finds himself so perfect. Fascism is a many splendored thing. It becomes stronger while amusing you.
This is some of the most sparkling satire I have yet read on the Great Cheese Doodle - great job! I giggled all the way through this article. Brilliant? Yes!!!
2
Love it, A variation of this old golf joke?
Three guys are beginning their regular game. Starter asks if a fourth can join. The guys record two par 4s and a bogey five. Visitor scuffs it around and gives himself a 5-footer for a 7. He says, "Put me down for a six."
As they pull their carts to the second tee, visitor counts on his fingers and says, "No, I recounted--and that was a 5.
One of the threesome replies, "Here at (insert name of snooty club), Sir, you are not allowed to improve your lie."
Three guys are beginning their regular game. Starter asks if a fourth can join. The guys record two par 4s and a bogey five. Visitor scuffs it around and gives himself a 5-footer for a 7. He says, "Put me down for a six."
As they pull their carts to the second tee, visitor counts on his fingers and says, "No, I recounted--and that was a 5.
One of the threesome replies, "Here at (insert name of snooty club), Sir, you are not allowed to improve your lie."
5
Nice. I thought this golf tale would just have Trump hitting bad shots and throwing away/destroying each and every one of his clubs (named after various members of his administration and political allies) until he had none left to finish his round. He then declares would have set a club record but for news casters in their soundproof studios talking during his backswing and all the non-member staff secretly rooting for Obama (who is nowhere on the club grounds). The story ends with Trump muttering something about how he could've been a contender instead of a bum and stomps off, kicking divots into every fairway and green he can on the way out.
Club management subsequently finds that Trump had failed to settle over 10 years of bar tabs and that his contact number leads to some Russian call center asking for bank account routing number.
Club management subsequently finds that Trump had failed to settle over 10 years of bar tabs and that his contact number leads to some Russian call center asking for bank account routing number.
5
Funny and so true to his character. Wouldn't ever play with him nor make a wager with him: he'd cheat and lie and beat his chest. You'd think he would have learned some humility while playing the game. Maybe some honesty, too. But no, all he cares about is his reflection in the nearest pond.
1
Real insight into how he comports himself on the gold course would be insightful, but this is a cheap-shot article, and I am no fan of Trump.
Remember, Paul Ryan lied about his marathon time.
5
. . . and chips to within 10 feet of the pin and drives his cart onto the green, wrecking the putting surface for the golfers who follow. "I'm the president, they're not!" Trump blusters.
1
Readers please weigh in:
Which is worse?
Trump lying about his golfing scores or Paul Ryan falsely claiming to have run a sub-3 hour marathon? ( I vote for the latter)
All I can say is my dearly departed WWII veteran Dad who had high moral character,took up golf at age 40 and NEVER cheated on his score.Just sayin'.
Which is worse?
Trump lying about his golfing scores or Paul Ryan falsely claiming to have run a sub-3 hour marathon? ( I vote for the latter)
All I can say is my dearly departed WWII veteran Dad who had high moral character,took up golf at age 40 and NEVER cheated on his score.Just sayin'.
2
thank you! nothing harder than making something enjoyable out of trump.
1
Cohen's satire, based on Trump's golf game, fails. Trump is a duffer who owns golf courses. And now, he's living in one he owns whilst on vacation. He golfs like he manages, like he's governing, by total ignorance as no one can advise him. Notice he doesn't play team sports because there's no 'i" in team and the Narcissist in chief has to be the center of attention and adulation. Sick. Is he getting the bunker ready for his occupancy--gold-plated everything-while N. Korean missiles fall."
'
'
1
I have to echo other comment writers, Brilliant!
10
The single, most brilliant Trump analysis I have ever read. Bravo!
As always, I appreciate Mr. Cohen's satire. However, I have to add that my father introduced me to golf 50 years ago, not only a sport but a game of honor. My dad taught me it was better to lose than win by bending the rules to my advantage. You win respect by taking the high road and that is more important than a low round.
Trump plays better courses than I do, but he'd never be welcomed to play with any of the golfers I am proud to know.
Trump plays better courses than I do, but he'd never be welcomed to play with any of the golfers I am proud to know.
30
Brilliant Mr. Cohen. I certainly enjoyed the humor today of all days!
23
A clever bit of satire, but a little bit unfair. I spend one day a week except during summer cussing out little white balls, and I don't mock anybody who might or might not struggle on the course.
My view is that everyone who plays golf recreationally (not for money) has little lies and personal exemptions to the rules in order to keep the inner rage below flip-the-table (or throw-the-golf-bag-into-the-lake) levels. With my uncle, it's winter-rules lies 11 months out of the year; for me, it's floating mulligans off the tee and a fairly broad definition of ground-under-repair free drops.
I would and do blame Trump for many things, but mulligans on the golf course aren't on the list. So long as no money is changing hands on the course, a golfer's personal sins remain his or her own, and they're nobody else's business at all.
Now, forcing the Secret Service to spend millions at Trump properties to carry out legally-mandated protection? Disrupting and destroying local businesses on a weekly basis with his junkets? Working three half-days a week and then going on four-day vacation weekends? That's not just a private sin in a president; in fact, in any functional democracy, it would be impeachable nonfeasance of office.
My view is that everyone who plays golf recreationally (not for money) has little lies and personal exemptions to the rules in order to keep the inner rage below flip-the-table (or throw-the-golf-bag-into-the-lake) levels. With my uncle, it's winter-rules lies 11 months out of the year; for me, it's floating mulligans off the tee and a fairly broad definition of ground-under-repair free drops.
I would and do blame Trump for many things, but mulligans on the golf course aren't on the list. So long as no money is changing hands on the course, a golfer's personal sins remain his or her own, and they're nobody else's business at all.
Now, forcing the Secret Service to spend millions at Trump properties to carry out legally-mandated protection? Disrupting and destroying local businesses on a weekly basis with his junkets? Working three half-days a week and then going on four-day vacation weekends? That's not just a private sin in a president; in fact, in any functional democracy, it would be impeachable nonfeasance of office.
34
Why play golf if you don't take the game seriously? You must have a hard time finding people who will play with you.
Both golf and tennis (my particular obsession), when played at the self officiating amateur level, are tests of character as much they are of athletic prowess. Flaunting one's bad character on the golf course neither excuses nor negates it as we are discovering to our detriment. Trump is our Goldfinger, without the need for Oddjob to do his cheating for him. Like an overgrown infant, he just changes the rules.
1
People who bend the rules in so-called little ways on the course or with their score more than likely will do so in larger way elsewhere. Either you have integrity or you don't. Trump is dishonest. Period.
2
Brilliant! Delicious!! Can't wait for the tale of the back nine . . . if we last that long . . . Well Done Roger Cohen!!!
13
Have you ever seen his swing? No way that belongs to a low single-digit handicapper. Or even an 18-handicapper. Many golfers keep vanity handicaps, but this is ridiculous.
This reminds me of the first time Kim Jong-il (father of Kim Jong Un) ever played golf. He made five five holes-in one and shot a total score of 38 under par.
This reminds me of the first time Kim Jong-il (father of Kim Jong Un) ever played golf. He made five five holes-in one and shot a total score of 38 under par.
18
That story has been debunked as nothing more than the tall tales of one club pro. It never appeared in N.K. media and was never actually claimed by any N.K. outlet.
Picture worth a thousand words. trump looks like weary old man in golf cart photo.
20
No make-up artist on THIS vacation. Also, notice the cap. No hairstylist.
18
They all do. What's the point of playing if you're going to ride around in a cart?
Why is No. 1 using a golf cart marked No. 2???
1
Is Gail Collins on vacation this week?
4
Hon. Donald J. Trump has a handicap on www.GHIN.com for all the world to see, along with the list of all of his many club affiliations.
As of August 1, 2017 his handicap is 2.8. It is obviously a fake handicap since the 20 scores posted (20 most recent scores are used to calculate a handicap) date back to September of 2009, almost 8 years ago. The United States Golf Association has strict rules on how scores are to be posted. He does not follow those rules given the amount he plays. It is also clear that he maintains an artificially low handicap for purposes of his ego since it results in a clear competitive disadvantage.
It is said that golf exposes a man's true character. It certainly does.
As of August 1, 2017 his handicap is 2.8. It is obviously a fake handicap since the 20 scores posted (20 most recent scores are used to calculate a handicap) date back to September of 2009, almost 8 years ago. The United States Golf Association has strict rules on how scores are to be posted. He does not follow those rules given the amount he plays. It is also clear that he maintains an artificially low handicap for purposes of his ego since it results in a clear competitive disadvantage.
It is said that golf exposes a man's true character. It certainly does.
25
Please take onboard: There is no British Open. It is properly named The Open. It is administered and run by the Royal and Ancient Golf Club of St Andrews, located in... Scotland.
13
Sorry but I no longer find Mr Trump interesting .............
Golf might be one area he can't " purchase"
[email protected]
Golf might be one area he can't " purchase"
[email protected]
5
Though obviously *he* tries to & sometimes succeeds. Check *his* handicap.
Hopefully Scotland will gain independence, the way we did, not by begging for a referendum, then 'the Open' will become the Royal Scottish Open, & *he* will be banned.
Hopefully Scotland will gain independence, the way we did, not by begging for a referendum, then 'the Open' will become the Royal Scottish Open, & *he* will be banned.
Mr. Cohen might have mention that Golf Digest rated Trump the best golfer of all the presidents.
2
Your post adds to the fun! Thanks!
1
Since you live in New Jersey would you be willing to chip in the extra fees Trump's golf fetish is costing the rest of us? Just sayin'
3
did you see the size of that crowd ? HUGE ! The Greatest Ever !
Roger Cohen might have mentioned that Trump built Bedminster - in addition to many other fine courses throughout the world - and that it recently hosted the LPGA.
2
Will Director Mueller subpoena the President's caddy?
2
Roger finishes 6 under to WIN!
4
Very cleverly done.
9
How boring it must be to be Trump. Never having any challenges in his life. All his biological wants satisfied with little effort and able represent reality any way that he wants without anyone challenging him for nearly all the eight decades in which he has lived. It's so self indulgent as to make anyone with a functioning mind want to scream at the utter sameness and sleep inducing repetitiveness of a life lived in that manner. I really pity the poor rich man with a nothing existence to endure.
12
Hand hand it to Trump. He's found a way to play the game that strokes his fragile ego while adding to his bottom line. And he's put his cowardly fellow Republicans in a position where they have to play along and even apologize for his many gaffs and shortcomings.
8
Has anyone actually see Trump play a hole of golf? Perhaps, he's just too modest....
3
Some of us were shouting "fore!" back when the deranged narcissist first came down the escalator of his gaudy tower to announce he was going to run for president.
Too many people did not listen to the shouts, and too many still think he is the greatest man to ever hit the links.
We need a Jack Nicklaus to walk to the 10th tee and tell him the course has requested he please leave, immediately. And take his family of flattering caddies with him.
Too many people did not listen to the shouts, and too many still think he is the greatest man to ever hit the links.
We need a Jack Nicklaus to walk to the 10th tee and tell him the course has requested he please leave, immediately. And take his family of flattering caddies with him.
14
"We need a Jack Nicklaus to walk to the 10th tee and tell him the course has requested he please leave, immediately. And take his family of flattering caddies with him."
Jack Nicklaus is a Drumpf supporter.
Jack Nicklaus is a Drumpf supporter.
5
Metaphors really start to not work when you taken them literally. Just a heads up.
Please , keep him on the golf course and out of DC
13
And off twitter.
Brilliant!
3
Roger...this is life imitating art.
President Trump is simply channeling Judge Elihu Smails from 'Caddy Shack'....."Do you know what a gopher can do to a golf course?"...ooppss my bad... I believe the Trump mis-remembered version of the line is, "Do you know what a leaker can do to an administration?" ...
Let us not forget the Trump/Smails mantra: It's easy to grin when your ship comes in and you've got the stock market beat....But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat"....
YEAH, Kim Jong-un...he's talking to you !!
BTW...is it too late for a national election 'mulligan' ??
President Trump is simply channeling Judge Elihu Smails from 'Caddy Shack'....."Do you know what a gopher can do to a golf course?"...ooppss my bad... I believe the Trump mis-remembered version of the line is, "Do you know what a leaker can do to an administration?" ...
Let us not forget the Trump/Smails mantra: It's easy to grin when your ship comes in and you've got the stock market beat....But the man worthwhile is the man who can smile, when his shorts are too tight in the seat"....
YEAH, Kim Jong-un...he's talking to you !!
BTW...is it too late for a national election 'mulligan' ??
6
Everything is a mulligan to Trump. He's always claiming the extra free stroke for a bad shot,except he never admits a bad shot.
There is no mulligan in nuclear war.
There is no mulligan in nuclear war.
23
What, does his cart say #2? Does The Donald know it says that?
9
Doesn't seem to notice the dark clouds looming either. Could be an electrical storm. We should all pray for rain.
Perfect analogy for the clown "president". Tells his tale as it really is.
45* is an average to below average bloke...with enough inherited money/power to paper over and literally cheat past his sub-mediocre reality!
Unfortunately for us, 45* believes his own fake "scores" and his sorry crew of sycophants do back flips in pretend agreement!!
America, as a nation, how low are you willing to sink???
* = totally illegitimate!
45* is an average to below average bloke...with enough inherited money/power to paper over and literally cheat past his sub-mediocre reality!
Unfortunately for us, 45* believes his own fake "scores" and his sorry crew of sycophants do back flips in pretend agreement!!
America, as a nation, how low are you willing to sink???
* = totally illegitimate!
9
I need a glossary of golf jargon to get the full effect. But clever nonetheless.
11
I wonder how/if he even learned to play golf. Or does he really play--upi know, club, ball, all that?
And I wonder how he can keep track of everything all at once--cart, swing, cart, swing, without talking full speed. Or does he talk while he's playing? Does he ever shut up?
These are the questions I'd like answered. Not how we're going to get by after a nuclear holocaust. Or the next great republican great recession/ depression, which in Trump speak will be the greatest, deepest, and worst recession in the history of the universe. And before.
And I wonder how he can keep track of everything all at once--cart, swing, cart, swing, without talking full speed. Or does he talk while he's playing? Does he ever shut up?
These are the questions I'd like answered. Not how we're going to get by after a nuclear holocaust. Or the next great republican great recession/ depression, which in Trump speak will be the greatest, deepest, and worst recession in the history of the universe. And before.
4
You kept my interest up to tee off.
Is the NYT expecting we will eat this dogfood for three and a half more years?
I'm tired of it. Find people offering solutions. We all know he's a lying idiot. All your paper is selling is dog bites man. Find man bites dog.
Is the NYT expecting we will eat this dogfood for three and a half more years?
I'm tired of it. Find people offering solutions. We all know he's a lying idiot. All your paper is selling is dog bites man. Find man bites dog.
20
the alternative is to ignore him?
4
You are almost right.. I think he hopes we will tire of it. He creates so much distraction that our heads are spinning. I would advise to continue to point out his faults and add your suggestion to find a way to "bite" back as well. We can and should do both..
8
I love this photo even more than the column. Great choice.
8
Well played Roger. The real shame though, is that we are all playing in the group behind him and may not be able to get off the course to shelter when the storm sirens go off.
24
Nice.
Speaking of holes - has anybody asked Trump who will fill the giant hole he has dug for us with his mouth in the past several days?????? On another subject: I see Israel is going to build a wall. Do you suppose they got Mexico to pay for it. Well, Trump could not get them to pay for HIS wall............
7
"The rewards of golf, and of life too I expect, are worth very little if you don't play the game by the etiquette as well as by the rules."
Bobby Jones
'nuff said.
Bobby Jones
'nuff said.
12
Golf is just another thing Trump can cheat/lie/steal/boast about...I'm sure pros who've played with him are amused but would kick him off the course if he tried his shenanigans on the tour. He demeans the game just as he demeans reality just by existing.
3
Sadly all future dialogue on international relations will be done by twitter with bombastic hype from our tv president who still does not accept his job as the most powerful leader in the world. This will eventually lead to a military misadventure to assure TRump's base of his hyper masculinity and sexual prowess beyond any mortal man. Of course many will die but the the smirk on our dyed blonde old Mussilini wanna be will be carved into Mount Rushmore in his mind anyway.
6
17 over sounds sbout right and I'm sire as hell not looking forward to the back nine.
1
According to an online web source of information on celebrity golf ability, Don has a handicap of 3.4. I wonder how far south of the State of Reality that
figure really is.
figure really is.
6
On his courses he a 3 4 handicap.
Back when I was a child, in the early 1950s, there was a popular expression for illogical behavior: "He/she has a hole in his/her head." Indeed, it was a 1957 Broadway play and a 1959-released film with Frank Sinatra, directed by Frank Capra.
Perhaps Trump's tenth "hole" is the scar from an unsuccessful lobotomy attempt when he was a teen-ager?
Perhaps Trump's tenth "hole" is the scar from an unsuccessful lobotomy attempt when he was a teen-ager?
7
Does Trump know that Kim Jong-un scored 18 holes-in-one in a single round of golf?
If he did, he would probably claim he had 36 in a row.
If he did, he would probably claim he had 36 in a row.
6
Don't exaggerate. It was his father:
In 1994, Park Young-man told Australian journalist Eric Ellis that Kim Jong-il once scored a 34 on the course. Park continued that Kim achieved a Birdie or better on every hole and had five holes-in-one.
In 1994, Park Young-man told Australian journalist Eric Ellis that Kim Jong-il once scored a 34 on the course. Park continued that Kim achieved a Birdie or better on every hole and had five holes-in-one.
6
One thing that has puzzled me during this entire Trump administration, why does he not ever blame Jimmy Carter for the problems he is confronting.
8
No need to.
Ronald Reagan cleaned up the mess Carter left behind.
Ronald Reagan cleaned up the mess Carter left behind.
2
Wrote a comment re Mr. Cohen's article which I believe fails as satire, because ridicule, irony is not his "genre," is not what he does best. Moreover, there is an undercurrent of malevolence, "mechancete which is unfair to the President Elect and which follows a pattern inn that they all tend to be disrespectful, questioning his legitimacy as our c-in-c duly elected by over 61 million of us. Hunch that author , to the manor and the manner born , has never shown a great deal of sympathy for those not born with the same advasntages in life and it shows. When he conducts interviews,they are always with establishment figures, not with common, everyday folk' When he was Paris correspondent.he did not inform us of the real news, demopgraphic shisft resulting in forced evacuation of working class folk from Paris centre tnto dangerous HLM's "en banlieue," by the winners, wealthy folks who took over city for themselves. Finally, understand loyalty to his father, Sydney Cohen, but we deserve an explanation why he leftm his comrades in arms in the "Republic" when they were risking liofe and limb to dismantle apartheid system put in place by "verkrasmpt " Afrikaanner leadership of the National PARTY. Sydney Cohen left Suzman. Paton. Mandela. Tambo and ANC in the lurch at a critical time to emigrate to GB. What were his motives. I am asmong his fasithful readers and would like to know.
We don't have a "president elect." We have an electoral college president, who only got the majority vote in a very few states. Hillary had over 3 million more votes than trump.
13
Trump, to the manor and the manner born, was put in power by the electoral college, over the objections of over 64 million of us, who rightfully question his legitimacy. As for Cohen, his spelling is good, and he knows how to write complete sentences.
10
Huh?
2
Thanks ~ I'd thought he was still swinging wildly in a sand pit on Hole 1 and viciously throwing clubs at the hecklers in the crowd...
4
No new information and not even an interesting way of reviewing the old one. If you play gulf when its raining, your game will suffer.
Excellent piece Roger. Well done. Thank you Roger.
8
Poll says: 67% of Americans would like to take a Mulligan for November 8, 2016. The neon orange ball is just not working for us.
96
There's no small irony and a little comfort in the fact that Trump, in all his bloated self-regard, has put a big fat nail in the coffin of white supremacy. The GOP, his staff and his base have a lot to answer for. They've stunk out an entire nation.
15
"little comfort" in the "big fat nail in the coffin of white supremacy"?
If ANYTHING, the clown has highlighted (for the benefit of the truly deaf, (stupid) and blind) the naked illegitimacy of white supremacy. LOL!!
He's replacing a black president (remember???) and single-handedly DISPROVING any/all quixotic notions of racial supremacy!! ROFL!!!!
If ANYTHING, the clown has highlighted (for the benefit of the truly deaf, (stupid) and blind) the naked illegitimacy of white supremacy. LOL!!
He's replacing a black president (remember???) and single-handedly DISPROVING any/all quixotic notions of racial supremacy!! ROFL!!!!
1
Also has Don put a nail in the coffin of the idea of the legitimacy of presidential power?
2
Well, that's kinda what I meant. Read it again.
quote from Samuel L. Jackson who played golf with Trump: Golf's a very moral game. You kind of police yourself out there, and he didn't police himself very well out there. Once he started to espouse his political opinion or his general opinion of the world, the state of the people who live in this particular country, based on that, not such a great person in my opinion. But that's my opinion.'
17
I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for quite a while.
Keep yapping about unlimited economic immigration into this county and you'll give Trump another round in the White House.
3
You have captured Trump's personality and lack of character here. It is humorous but painful as I realize this is exactly how he runs what is left of our government. Being president is not a game, but Trump deals with it as if it is. God help us all on the next nine...
20
We can only hope what we're going thru now makes us stronger...somehow.
1
I thought I was reading a new column from Art Buchwald! Roger Cohen, you nailed the late, great Buchwald's style. Loved it. Thanks!
15
I knew I read something like this before in the NYT. Only it dealt with Nixon, late '60s or early '70s and Mr. Cohen almost got away with it.
There is no small irony that Trump actually looks up to Tricky Dick.
There is no small irony that Trump actually looks up to Tricky Dick.
2
Gallows humor is about all we have left.
19
The Trump tragedy is that this incompetent is still supported by the people who voted for him, regardless of the chaos he unleashes. Perhaps they'll wake-up when his folly is expressed in a mushroom cloud. But then again, are they capable of any self reflection? Probably not, since telling it like it is replaces rational action, and shaking it up replaces meaningful policy prescriptions. For his supporters, Trump is them, and like him, they know more than anyone else.
4
I would never play golf with Donald Trump, golf is an honorable game where the player calls penalties on themselves. Trump lies and cheats at any and all opportunities, even when people are watching. He violates the spirit of the game and he is a disgrace its integrity and its fundamental principles of truth, honesty and humility.
11
Better golf with Trump than squash with Donald Rumsfeld.
Those are know facts, he kicks balls back to fairways,ignores missed strokes.But these are his courses,and he's the boss, who's gonna argue.I will say he has a nice straight drive...
1
Trump treats the United States as if it is one of his properties and the government is his personal golf caddy. If Trump's political accum was translated into a PGA card, he would have been barred from the links shortly after he took office.
7
A golfer has one advantage over a fisherman.
He doesn't have to produce anything to prove his story.
He doesn't have to produce anything to prove his story.
11
Ah, satire rules. Unfortunately, so does Trump. And if he is disqualified and thrown off the course, we always have Pence, his fawning follower, to take up the clubs.
6
Brilliant!
4
Trump is America's mulligan. She cannot afford another.
9
I used to like golf. Trump has ruined it for me.
2
I only wish American could take a Mulligan on the 2016 election.
8
life is such a game.
1
Brilliant!
4
The next ball at the tee is nuclear.
2
Trump's been destabilizing the US; now he's begun to destabilize the world.
When will this loser leave us all alone? Go play golf somewhere. On Mars.
When will this loser leave us all alone? Go play golf somewhere. On Mars.
2
Ah, if his presidency was only a golf game but alas it is not. It is serious, very serious business. He can cheat all he wants out on the golf course where lives are not at stake. He thinks the presidency is a golf game where he can continue to "play" the American people.
2
Gorgeous. Full marks! Perhaps even tyrants fall to irony and the golf gods. Thank you.
4
MAGA. Make America Golf Again. "Unlike Obama, I won't be playing golf all the time because I will be too busy working at the White House."
9
Good God, just take a gander at that old coot in his club car. One wouldn't think there were enough deplorably stupid people in the poorly educated United States to vote for this guy as their president. Well, you'd be wrong. There were, and he was, though by the fluke of an outrageous notion by the Founders known as the Electoral College. Yes, that's the guy - "that guy" - who millions had more faith in then someone who was prepared to be president for decades; someone who had put in the time, did the homework, knew how government worked because she had the experience any rational person would look for to lead the most powerful nation on Earth. How can so many Americans be so completely ignorant? Let us count the ways.
DD
Manhattan
DD
Manhattan
26
They aren't. They are misogynists. Old white guys think women belong in the kitchen or bringing them beer. I'd say chained to a bedpost but they are long past that nonsense.
This column adds no value, whatsoever, except to scratch the itch of the increasingly unhinged, immature, and thoughtless commenters.
And yes, I hate Trump as much as anybody.
Also, in a note to the Product Manager at the NY Times, the inconsistency in the process of displaying postings in the comments section severely degrades the user experience. Some comments take two seconds to post, others take two hours, and some others take two days.
This, along with the collapse of civility and plummeting quality of the comments in recent months, is ruining what used to be the best part of this newspaper.
And yes, I hate Trump as much as anybody.
Also, in a note to the Product Manager at the NY Times, the inconsistency in the process of displaying postings in the comments section severely degrades the user experience. Some comments take two seconds to post, others take two hours, and some others take two days.
This, along with the collapse of civility and plummeting quality of the comments in recent months, is ruining what used to be the best part of this newspaper.
2
Golf is a game that allows the player to keep their own score and as such demonstrates a lot about the player's honesty. Any person who cheats at golf, cheats only her / himself.
As a semi-serious duffer, who accepts every bad shot and penalty imposed by my own behaviors, both on and off the course my golf scores are bad; my is integrity intact, and I have no concern about labelled "club champion" any time soon.
As a semi-serious duffer, who accepts every bad shot and penalty imposed by my own behaviors, both on and off the course my golf scores are bad; my is integrity intact, and I have no concern about labelled "club champion" any time soon.
5
Funny stuff. I have to think, to take seriously, the notion that Putin may have a 'tape' of some kind on Trump. From his golf course yesterday, Trump made the odd comment thanking Putin for expelling our diplomats from Moscow. Was it Trump's poor attempt at some kind of humor? What it was is another pathetic fail by Trump to stand up for America and those who serve.
You have to ask over and over Why? will Trump say NOT ONE WORD of even the mildest rebuke to Putin.
You have to ask over and over Why? will Trump say NOT ONE WORD of even the mildest rebuke to Putin.
7
Watching old Trump campaign blurbs,( WHY do I do this to myself??) I noticed that he uses the term "making deals" when others might say they are complying, enforcing or discussing. . He applies this approach to golf scores, international tension, environmental protection and healthcare. In his mind its all a game to play to see who has the upper hand.
4
A cheat is a cheat, is a cheat and he cheated in business in marriage, and politics. He is what he is and will never, ever change. This is a man who is totally without honor and he has an obsession with winning. No one has told him that if you cheat to win it is not a win.
11
A most enjoyable tirade of crooked lying Trump's outbursts defying reality, a special golf course favorable to any and all devious shots by our most 'celebrated' vulgar bully in the White House. Once a cheater, always a cheater; at least, there is consistency there, considering his routine 'shooting from the hip' nonsensical verbiage of foul- mouthed behavior.
2
To a real golfer the act of striking the ball is the least important aspect of golf. The essence of golf is integrity, honesty and honor. Trump is no golfer.
Trump owns golf clubs, golf carts and golf courses and considers a person who imposes a penalty on himself/herself that would otherwise have gone unnoticed, weak and a loser. Trump would no sooner penalize himself a stroke during a round than he would return a 5 dollar bill he snatched up from the ground after seeing it fall from the hands of a 7 year old preoccupied by the box of popcorn he/she was carrying back to his/her seat at Yankee Stadium.
While I appreciate your effort and creativity Mr. Cohen, I take exception to any reference to Trump as a golfer.
Donald Trump is no golfer.
Trump owns golf clubs, golf carts and golf courses and considers a person who imposes a penalty on himself/herself that would otherwise have gone unnoticed, weak and a loser. Trump would no sooner penalize himself a stroke during a round than he would return a 5 dollar bill he snatched up from the ground after seeing it fall from the hands of a 7 year old preoccupied by the box of popcorn he/she was carrying back to his/her seat at Yankee Stadium.
While I appreciate your effort and creativity Mr. Cohen, I take exception to any reference to Trump as a golfer.
Donald Trump is no golfer.
8
Score 36! Trump celebrates by driving home over all nine greens and firing the caddy!
Brilliant, and I thank you.
Brilliant, and I thank you.
3
Hole 10, Par...
"By August 15, 2017, the White House mail room and the Washington Central Post Office were overwhelmed by tens of thousands of parcels sent by patriotic Americans taxpayers in support of the President's stance on the "firing" of US diplomats by Putin. They all contained variously flavored Russian made leather boots intended to further the American president's pleasure in licking his payroll master's paraphernalia"
"By August 15, 2017, the White House mail room and the Washington Central Post Office were overwhelmed by tens of thousands of parcels sent by patriotic Americans taxpayers in support of the President's stance on the "firing" of US diplomats by Putin. They all contained variously flavored Russian made leather boots intended to further the American president's pleasure in licking his payroll master's paraphernalia"
4
Hey Trump
Show us your golf score!
A concerned citizen
Show us your golf score!
A concerned citizen
4
I've heard and read that Trump is actually a pretty decent golfer (proving again that if you do something often enough you're bound to get pretty good at it), so we have to ask ourselves: Why does he cheat?
1
A number of years ago Kim Jong Il, the late despot leader of North Korea and father of the current Ding a Ling, played his first round of golf, ever. The official government account of the Dear Leader's round that day said he recorded 5 aces and shot 34 for 18 holes.
Frankly, I believe Trump can do better, and I'm sure Kellyanne Conway will have the alternative facts to prove it.
Frankly, I believe Trump can do better, and I'm sure Kellyanne Conway will have the alternative facts to prove it.
5
We have an incompetent and dangerous serial liar as POTUS who is making our nation look like a joke. I don't find it funny anymore. It's a serious matter that Congress needs to address ASAP.
6
I was a caddy at a private golf club when I was a teenager. The members were all successful businessmen, doctors, lawyers and such. Us scruffy kids saw them all as rich and so we were supposed to be polite and respectful at all times.
But in between rounds back in the caddy yard where we hung out, playing cards, smoking, telling raunchy jokes, we would assess the various characters we would soon be carrying the bags for. Some we liked, others we were indifferent, and some called for total disdain.
I met several who were very much like Trump, just as loud and obnoxious, insecure and arrogant. The guys gave them no respect at all.
We were mostly teenagers. But there were other older men, broken down alcoholics from skid row in San Francisco, unhealthy from lives of poverty and despair. They scared me at first, the first adults I ever met who swore and told dirty jokes. But in an odd way I learned a lot from those pitiful guys. And one thing was that they knew all about guys like Trump. They knew a fake and a phony when they saw one.
They were only interested if a member delivered the goods: if they gave a big tip. I haven't seen Trump deliver any goods yet. We would have called him a hacker and a stiff. No respect from the bums and the kids in the caddy yard.
But in between rounds back in the caddy yard where we hung out, playing cards, smoking, telling raunchy jokes, we would assess the various characters we would soon be carrying the bags for. Some we liked, others we were indifferent, and some called for total disdain.
I met several who were very much like Trump, just as loud and obnoxious, insecure and arrogant. The guys gave them no respect at all.
We were mostly teenagers. But there were other older men, broken down alcoholics from skid row in San Francisco, unhealthy from lives of poverty and despair. They scared me at first, the first adults I ever met who swore and told dirty jokes. But in an odd way I learned a lot from those pitiful guys. And one thing was that they knew all about guys like Trump. They knew a fake and a phony when they saw one.
They were only interested if a member delivered the goods: if they gave a big tip. I haven't seen Trump deliver any goods yet. We would have called him a hacker and a stiff. No respect from the bums and the kids in the caddy yard.
205
America is not a golf course. Trump is the one and only executive branch Article II President of the United States and the Commander-in-Chief of the American armed military forces.
Like North Korean President Kim Jong Un and Chinese President Xi Jinping Donald Trump inherited his wealth and power. None of these 'princes' have ever had to fight on an street nor in any national military uniform nor in any ring nor on any playground.
Instead of golf this corpulent trio are best physically fitted for the sport of sumo wrestling. And the only 'fighting' the triumvirate ever engages in is verbal.
Like North Korean President Kim Jong Un and Chinese President Xi Jinping Donald Trump inherited his wealth and power. None of these 'princes' have ever had to fight on an street nor in any national military uniform nor in any ring nor on any playground.
Instead of golf this corpulent trio are best physically fitted for the sport of sumo wrestling. And the only 'fighting' the triumvirate ever engages in is verbal.
2
Too Right Mate . . . same experience here, only our "older man" -- Benjy -- was more like Faulkner's mentally challenged caddy in the opening to "The Sound and The Fury" or to complete the title per Wm Shakespeare " . . . signifying nothing." Just like Trump.
I was 19 the last time I swung a golf club. That was...let's see, borrow the one, subtract two times my shoe size, and round up...something like 51 years ago. I broke 50 for nine holes once, on a par 35 nine. I don't remember if it was the front or the back nine, or if I just added up my best 9 holes out of 18 to get there.
But I never cheated on my score card.
Based on that little bit of honesty right there, I think I'd be better at playing president than Donald Trump.
But I never cheated on my score card.
Based on that little bit of honesty right there, I think I'd be better at playing president than Donald Trump.
9
Trump cheats at everything else in life, we can be sure he does on the golf course, bigly.
12
When you elect an unstable ignoramus as President everything Roger mentions is "par for the course." Should you now be in search of a little temporary solace, please proceed to the "nineteenth hole."
1
you didn't mention his throngs of fans hugging the ropes in red hats and pick up trucks.
4
Cheats at golf.......oh my goodness, really. Lying, heating, bullying etc. that's his modus operandi.
2
Of course he cheats at golf. He currently occupies the Oval Office because of cheating. He is the best cheater ever. He owns cheating and he's proud of it. He printing new red hats right now with a "Make America Cheat Again" slogan on them. His supporters can't wait.
12
I heard Obama had the golf cart wiretaped.
9
Now I get it! Thanks! Trump wants war with Russia, NK, any country who will make holes for free, with missiles or anything else they can devise. Man, just think about it! The entire USA- Mar a Lago on steroids.
2
Noticed the Shanker-in-Chief was playing alone. He's exactly the kind of guy you'd see at a course who, when the good players see him coming to first tee, hide.
6
Satire, ridicule, irony r not your thing, Mr. Cohen, the style of writing which you are best at, especially when there is an undercurrent of malevolence, as is the case for your present piece, , disrespectful of the President, and therefore of 61 million of us who view him as a tribune,vox populi, even those who never took a course in ancient Roman history!The Donald, moniker invented by the late, great reporter and muckraker, Jack Newfield, speaks for us in our language!At risk of having my comment deleted by EB which has been more or less fair with Alexander Harrison, let me enumerate your flaws as a journalist and as an "etre humain!"First, failure to return to S.A.as an adult to take part in struggle to end apartheid,, and Sydney Cohen's absconding to GB when he was needed there as well.Helen Suzman, Alan Paton, Olivier Tambo, Mandela , Sobukwe were his comrades in arms, but your father left them in the lurch. You followed suit. Second, your obtuseness, no disrespect intended, in overlooking dramatic demographic shift in Paris centre in 1960's and 1970's which resulted in "Francais moyen"being forced to leave the city in favor of the rich, relegated to dreary, dangerous HLM's "en banlieue!While u were writing about Guillaume Apollinaire. As if anyone cared!Take my opinions for what u think they are worth,but believe that, since u r so quick to judge others, we deserve an explanation from you re the above!
1
Mr. Harrison, your response to the op-ed piece illustrates so well the standard Trumpian technique, rather childish I think: when attacked or criticized, change the subject to whatever flaws you can either discover or invent in your critic.
8
@Nate SMITH: I am saying two things. Sydney COHEN, a pillar of the community in South Africa after WWII, and a fierce opponent of apartheid which was institutionalized after the victory of the Afrikaaner led National Party in 1948, should have remained to fight the good fight for the dismantling of separate development alongside his comrades in arms
;Helen Suzman, Mandela, Sobukwe,Tambo,Steve Biko and the ANC.Instead, he decamped for the UK, where there were no risks, and earned a nice living as an m.d., able to send his son to the best private /public school and then to Oxford.But he let down his fellow freedom fighters in the Republic. Second point is that Cohen missed the dramatic socio economic changes in Paris in the 1960's and 1970's which resulted in formerly working class neighborhoods transformed almost overnight into chic quartiers for the wealthy. Residents, unable to afford the high rents, were forced into dreary, dangerous HLM's "en banlieue!"
;Helen Suzman, Mandela, Sobukwe,Tambo,Steve Biko and the ANC.Instead, he decamped for the UK, where there were no risks, and earned a nice living as an m.d., able to send his son to the best private /public school and then to Oxford.But he let down his fellow freedom fighters in the Republic. Second point is that Cohen missed the dramatic socio economic changes in Paris in the 1960's and 1970's which resulted in formerly working class neighborhoods transformed almost overnight into chic quartiers for the wealthy. Residents, unable to afford the high rents, were forced into dreary, dangerous HLM's "en banlieue!"
Take away his golf cart and he would" have the strength to make it to the first tee.
2
You do a disservice to the beloved and venerable art of golf. Real golfers know that honor is paramount and if you cheat, you may be hitting a ball with a golf club, but you are not playing golf.
2
If only President Trump restricted his cheating and his score-settling to the golf course! What a brighter world it would be.
6
Well done, Roger Cohen! As all of us golfers know: you can tell a person's character by how he or she behaves on a golf course. He is a lying, cheating, uncouth excuse for a golfer and Leader.
10
Billiant, Mr. Cohen. I don't play golf, don't understand most of the jargon, but this almost had me laughing out loud. Then I remembered that this is not a fantasy of funny...this is our president, and the situations are all too true. I almost wish for the old days when two adversaries were the only ones, along with their seconds and a doctor, out in the mist of dawn with dueling pistols in hand. At least they were the only ones who where in danger.
2
I wish I understood the game of golf. But I do sure understand Trump's lying and cheating. If you lie and cheat in your job and caught, you get fired on the spot. Did not happen to Bill Clinton, did not happen to George W. I can only hope that this time out that "three's a charm" and Trump is drummed out ot the White House.
And then after that just maybe the Electoral College will be thrown out as well.
And then after that just maybe the Electoral College will be thrown out as well.
2
was he playing from the women's tees?
no senior discounts for his round?
no senior discounts for his round?
2
While a cute way to put the fact that he's an inept President but good at cheating and lying, it could have been said in far fewer words. As I said...
1
Somewhere along the line he should have fired his caddy for bad advice...
Here we are, teetering on the brink of nuclear oubreak, sped up by remarks made by an out-of-touch vacationing president who is more concerned with his golf score, than reducing this world to a burned out cinder; while an in absentia Secretary of State tells us all not to worry, and go to sleep.
At this rate, the problem is we might not wake up.
Isn't it amazing that after criticizing his predecessor for occasionally playing the game while in office, Trump not only appears to play non-stop, but actually OWNS the golf courses.
After six months of this, one can only hope for this game to end -- before we all end up in the bunker.
At this rate, the problem is we might not wake up.
Isn't it amazing that after criticizing his predecessor for occasionally playing the game while in office, Trump not only appears to play non-stop, but actually OWNS the golf courses.
After six months of this, one can only hope for this game to end -- before we all end up in the bunker.
7
my favorite part is the fat man with the stupid hat and child in the golf cart next to an SS agent, fit and walking fast.
4
This is probably too accurate to be much other than sad.
It is difficult to imagine trumpsky doing anything fairly and by the rules.
It is difficult to imagine trumpsky doing anything fairly and by the rules.
3
Speaking of The Mooch: recall his first time before the podium professing love and reliving trump's football/tire prowess and "sinking three foot putts"....well, wouldn't ya know it...the White House Transcript of the Mooch's performance changed those "three" foot putts to "30 foot putts".
I don't know what is more pathetic....Trump's neediness or the willingness of these White House worshipers to cater to his every pathology.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/white-house...
I don't know what is more pathetic....Trump's neediness or the willingness of these White House worshipers to cater to his every pathology.
http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/white-house...
4
My favorite part is "doesn't like his lie, so he adjusts it." It must not have been impudent enough to suit him.
5
So far it would seem DT has spent 1/8 of his presidency golfing. In all fairness, if we're not allowed to see his tax returns how's about televising his golf games (unedited). Does he play with Spicer who let's him win? With seriously handicapped Pence? DT needs to prove to We the People that his golf game isn't all talk and no golfballs.
3
Talk, talk, talk... we are losing everything that all those people died for, you blithering babblers!
2
Trump assails Obama for playing golf and McConnell for not getting back to work. I guess he's unaware of the maxim He who lives in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Now he's launching salvos at Kim. It's come to the point where I'd rather see Trump golfing all the time than making cataclysmic threats. Fore!!!
7
If Trump takes us into war, we and he will end up in the biggest sand trap ever created, once known as North America.........
7
A LAMENT IN HONOR OF SPICER SCARRAMUCCI, AND PRIEBUS:
ALL THE KING'S CADDIES
Where have all Trump's caddies gone?
Short time passing.
Where have all Trump's caddies gone?
So short their show.
Where have all Trump's caddies gone?
Trump handpicked them every one.
When will Trump ever learn?
When will Trump ever learn?
Where will now the Donald turn?
Short fuse burning.
Where will now the Donald turn?
So short fused now.
Where will now the Donald turn?
He'll tweet out to every one.
Whom will he never spurn?
Whom will he never spurn?
Where will all the spurned ones go?
Short time passing.
Where will all the spurned ones go?
Short time their show.
Where will all the spurned ones go?
Writing memoirs every one.
On whom will their rancor turn?
On whom will their rancor turn?
Where have all the Trump’s caddies gone?
Short time passing.
Where have all the Trump’s caddies gone?
Short time their show.
Where…
ALL THE KING'S CADDIES
Where have all Trump's caddies gone?
Short time passing.
Where have all Trump's caddies gone?
So short their show.
Where have all Trump's caddies gone?
Trump handpicked them every one.
When will Trump ever learn?
When will Trump ever learn?
Where will now the Donald turn?
Short fuse burning.
Where will now the Donald turn?
So short fused now.
Where will now the Donald turn?
He'll tweet out to every one.
Whom will he never spurn?
Whom will he never spurn?
Where will all the spurned ones go?
Short time passing.
Where will all the spurned ones go?
Short time their show.
Where will all the spurned ones go?
Writing memoirs every one.
On whom will their rancor turn?
On whom will their rancor turn?
Where have all the Trump’s caddies gone?
Short time passing.
Where have all the Trump’s caddies gone?
Short time their show.
Where…
2
Cute editorial, but I have one that I think might even be better.
Time: Monday Morning
Location: New Jersey
Daily Staff meeting.
Trump: "Good morning, lets get on on with our business as I'd like to get 9 holes in before it rains. Everybody take a look at our distraction list for the week. Comments?"
Tillerson: "Mr. President, the North Korea situation is working out very well, I believe we can squeeze another week out of it."
Trump: "Great, Kellyanne, all set with the surrogates for cable news?"
Kellyanne: "All set, except I believe you should add some tweets to your tweet list about Anderson Cooper. It's been a while."
Bannon: "I agree but lets add a reference or two about Cooper's homosexuality as the Christian and alt right groups eat this stuff up".
Trump: "Okay, now what's on the schedule for next week?"
General Kelly: "Continue the McConnell attacks and lets add Justice Ginsburg, it's been a while. Stephen, see if you can find some dirt, best is some type of reference to her age and perhaps her previous bout with cancer".
Stephen MIller: "will do General".
Trump: Kellyanne, can you have the tweet list for the next 3 days to me by 10AM?
Conway: "Sure!"
Trump: "Good...and Kellanne, tell my kids, no tweets this week. Also Kellyanne, tell Jeff I'll lay off him this week, he's had enough. How bout we go after Rick Perry a bit?
Bannon: "Hannity has been bugging me for another interview".
Trump: "Tell Hope to send one of her girlfriends over. And where's my Egg McMuffin?"
Time: Monday Morning
Location: New Jersey
Daily Staff meeting.
Trump: "Good morning, lets get on on with our business as I'd like to get 9 holes in before it rains. Everybody take a look at our distraction list for the week. Comments?"
Tillerson: "Mr. President, the North Korea situation is working out very well, I believe we can squeeze another week out of it."
Trump: "Great, Kellyanne, all set with the surrogates for cable news?"
Kellyanne: "All set, except I believe you should add some tweets to your tweet list about Anderson Cooper. It's been a while."
Bannon: "I agree but lets add a reference or two about Cooper's homosexuality as the Christian and alt right groups eat this stuff up".
Trump: "Okay, now what's on the schedule for next week?"
General Kelly: "Continue the McConnell attacks and lets add Justice Ginsburg, it's been a while. Stephen, see if you can find some dirt, best is some type of reference to her age and perhaps her previous bout with cancer".
Stephen MIller: "will do General".
Trump: Kellyanne, can you have the tweet list for the next 3 days to me by 10AM?
Conway: "Sure!"
Trump: "Good...and Kellanne, tell my kids, no tweets this week. Also Kellyanne, tell Jeff I'll lay off him this week, he's had enough. How bout we go after Rick Perry a bit?
Bannon: "Hannity has been bugging me for another interview".
Trump: "Tell Hope to send one of her girlfriends over. And where's my Egg McMuffin?"
5
Look, high in the sky! It's a flock of Canadian geese over Morristown, heading southwest towards Bedminster, homing in on an alien orange thing currently located on the 18th hole, with their bomb bay doors open, ready to drop their loads.
4
Fat golfer!
2
I equate this President more with mini-golf.
You know the one. ~ that guy that blusters he is going to set the record on the course, or just beat you, because he is so much greater.
;Meanwhile, he is the guy that can't get it through the windmill hole and jeeps hitting the blades, no matter how hard he tries or how many chances he gets.
You know the one. ~ that guy that blusters he is going to set the record on the course, or just beat you, because he is so much greater.
;Meanwhile, he is the guy that can't get it through the windmill hole and jeeps hitting the blades, no matter how hard he tries or how many chances he gets.
1
You can always tell which columnists inhabit a bubble of privilege (Cohen, Collins, Brooks): they find humor in horror.
We have to wait for Charles Blow's columns to capture, accurately, what we're all up against with this Imbecile in Chief.
We have to wait for Charles Blow's columns to capture, accurately, what we're all up against with this Imbecile in Chief.
3
When composing the narrative for next 9 holes, don't forget to mention how he rudely drives over greens.
4
equate this President more with mini-golf.
You know the one. ~ that guy that blusters he is going to set the record on the course, or just beat you, because he is so much greater.
;Meanwhile, he is the guy that can't get it through the windmill hole and keeps hitting the blades, no matter how hard he tries or how many chances he gets .
You know the one. ~ that guy that blusters he is going to set the record on the course, or just beat you, because he is so much greater.
;Meanwhile, he is the guy that can't get it through the windmill hole and keeps hitting the blades, no matter how hard he tries or how many chances he gets .
2
RE: Hole One, Check with Spicer
At his first press conference Anthony Scaramucci spoke on camera about Trump's many skills as an athlete, e.g. I've seen him throw a football through a tire (cf. Levitra ad) and "sink a three foot putt." Curiously, when the official transcript was released by the White House, like his inaugural crowds, the length of that putt had grown-- for the record-- and will for all history be reflected as a "thirty foot putt."
http://deadspin.com/white-house-alters-transcript-to-clarify-that-the-pr...
At his first press conference Anthony Scaramucci spoke on camera about Trump's many skills as an athlete, e.g. I've seen him throw a football through a tire (cf. Levitra ad) and "sink a three foot putt." Curiously, when the official transcript was released by the White House, like his inaugural crowds, the length of that putt had grown-- for the record-- and will for all history be reflected as a "thirty foot putt."
http://deadspin.com/white-house-alters-transcript-to-clarify-that-the-pr...
1
Nice metaphors but we are seeing a very dangerous event unfolding around North Korea. Trump really does think that diplomacy is a game and like a bad real estate deal you can simply walk away from your mistakes.
But you can't just walk away when your mistakes set in motion a chain of events with potentially horrific consequences. The greatest irony is that while Trump claims that he is open to negotiating with North Korea, at a recent meeting between Chinese and North Korean diplomats the US was absent.
Not only did we miss that opportunity, the State Department is under staffed, under funded and lacks leadership at every level. So who is supposed to initiate these talks that Trump is allegedly open to? I'd say Trump has hit a double boggy on hole 8.
But you can't just walk away when your mistakes set in motion a chain of events with potentially horrific consequences. The greatest irony is that while Trump claims that he is open to negotiating with North Korea, at a recent meeting between Chinese and North Korean diplomats the US was absent.
Not only did we miss that opportunity, the State Department is under staffed, under funded and lacks leadership at every level. So who is supposed to initiate these talks that Trump is allegedly open to? I'd say Trump has hit a double boggy on hole 8.
2
:-) :-) :-) thx Mr Cohen (all nine holes)
1
I can't wait until the lying cheat we call president is out of office so I can take in a column like this and enjoy a genuine laugh. Everything about this man makes me tense and sick to my stomach. I am humored by every stupid misstep outlined here. At the same time, though, I sit terrified knowing he's emotionally overtaken by the ego stroking he gets putting on his tough-man persona and playing with nuclear fire. None of us gets a mulligan on that one.
3
"Hole10" : Trump's latest braggadocio tweet, re the U.S. is "locked and loaded" to take military action against North Korea, is translated into that country's native language. Of course, our impulsive, ignorant President has no idea, nor given any thought, that a rough translation of that imprecise phrase into Korean turns into the dire, threatening "We will not hesitate to to attack you first, with all the military might at our disposal, at a time of our choosing".
North Korea does not wait for the U.S. first strike, and launches preemptive operations against South Korea, Japan, Guam, etc. "Hole 10" is the last one to be played, as "fire and fury" consumes the entire Trumpian course. MAGA!
North Korea does not wait for the U.S. first strike, and launches preemptive operations against South Korea, Japan, Guam, etc. "Hole 10" is the last one to be played, as "fire and fury" consumes the entire Trumpian course. MAGA!
2
Love the tone and tenor of this piece. Remember that Bond outwits Goldfinger in cheating in the game, so Trump had better protect his backside from Putin, who hasn't even begun to swing yet.
1
Mr. Cohen, thank you for attempting to inject some levity as we head into our weekend. Still, there is absolutely nothing funny about this president or his administration and the path he seems hell bent to travel.
While I sit on my patio enjoying the morning cool air, sipping coffee, listening to the silent sunrise, reading, all I can imagine is what our nation will experience when trump decides to show the globe how to win with fire while Congress fiddles.
Perhaps if DC were on the West Coast, Congress would be a bit more vocal.
While I sit on my patio enjoying the morning cool air, sipping coffee, listening to the silent sunrise, reading, all I can imagine is what our nation will experience when trump decides to show the globe how to win with fire while Congress fiddles.
Perhaps if DC were on the West Coast, Congress would be a bit more vocal.
4
The rest of Trump's foursome (the citizens of US) ask the refs to correct the scorecard - "He's new at this. He doesn't understand the rules. He's shaking things up." Tump's foursome realizes they are in for the long haul on a 27-hole course.
It's finally over and Trump pays the bar tab at the club house with Putin's credit card. Denied! Trump's golfing buddies get stuck with the bar tab - the likes of which the world has never seen.
It's finally over and Trump pays the bar tab at the club house with Putin's credit card. Denied! Trump's golfing buddies get stuck with the bar tab - the likes of which the world has never seen.
6
Waste of precious journalistic real estate. Couldn't make it to the end.
And I despise Trump as much as anybody.
There's quite a lot going on in the world right now. To say that Trump is well-covered in this newspaper is a gross understatement. This column adds zero value.
Cohen used to be thoughtful, and can be insightful when he wants to. In the past, even though he was usually wrong, as recent events across the world have made abundantly clear, he made you think. Now he's descending into childish rants, like everybody else, and silliness like this. It greatly diminishes someone of his intellect to be reduced to this by a charlatan.
I'm looking forward to his status update on his idol Macron, who was portrayed as the savior of western civilization just a few short months ago.
Might I suggest a clever and witty soccer analogy, to keep the level of discourse on a downward trajectory.
And I despise Trump as much as anybody.
There's quite a lot going on in the world right now. To say that Trump is well-covered in this newspaper is a gross understatement. This column adds zero value.
Cohen used to be thoughtful, and can be insightful when he wants to. In the past, even though he was usually wrong, as recent events across the world have made abundantly clear, he made you think. Now he's descending into childish rants, like everybody else, and silliness like this. It greatly diminishes someone of his intellect to be reduced to this by a charlatan.
I'm looking forward to his status update on his idol Macron, who was portrayed as the savior of western civilization just a few short months ago.
Might I suggest a clever and witty soccer analogy, to keep the level of discourse on a downward trajectory.
12
This was an opinion piece, dude.
3
I was getting ready to respond, but then I said to myself,
"Hang on, TB, you're about to respond to someone with a handle of PoohBah2, who just called you "dude"", so I hesitated.
I mean, I might feel differently if it was PooBah1...
But yes, I could tell it was an Opinion Piece, by the part up top where it says "The Opinion Pages".
Dude.
"Hang on, TB, you're about to respond to someone with a handle of PoohBah2, who just called you "dude"", so I hesitated.
I mean, I might feel differently if it was PooBah1...
But yes, I could tell it was an Opinion Piece, by the part up top where it says "The Opinion Pages".
Dude.
Sorry but it was clever.
Not even close to funny.
13
You really think Trump can hit a 53 on the front nine? I think you give him too much credit. Admittedly though, playing one day in four will improve your game. You'd think the old man was retired.
2
Wait til you see what Donald Trump does on the back fairways (assuming Kim Jong-un doesn't irradiate them).
1
Would that this were the true story instead of what actually is.
The reason Trump loves golf so much is obvious: it's the one "sport" that allows a player to lie and cheat at will--unless of course the player is in an officiated tournament, none of which Trump is likely to qualify for or enter since people would then see what a huge fraud he is as a golfer. Trump undoubtedly believes he is a "great" golfer, just like he disingenuously says he is a "great" businessman despite all his bankruptcies, stiffed creditors and the laundered money of Russian oligarchs that he's needed.
And I'll wager all those Trump voters also think he is a great golfer. When will they ever realize they've been had by the Donald? Are they even capable of coming to that realization? Even Trump probably secretly marvels at the gullibility of his supporters.
The country is clearly far better served the more time Trump spends on golf courses. At least there his incompetence, lying and cheating is more likely to be relegated to the "sport" of golf, not to the governance of our nation. So I say we should refrain from complaining about or even mentioning how often he plays golf.
And I'll wager all those Trump voters also think he is a great golfer. When will they ever realize they've been had by the Donald? Are they even capable of coming to that realization? Even Trump probably secretly marvels at the gullibility of his supporters.
The country is clearly far better served the more time Trump spends on golf courses. At least there his incompetence, lying and cheating is more likely to be relegated to the "sport" of golf, not to the governance of our nation. So I say we should refrain from complaining about or even mentioning how often he plays golf.
5
The assessment of Trump's persona is good but the satire is heavy handed - Jonathan Swift you are not
2
A welcome effort. Practice, practice. Meanwhile, Mueller may serve as the republic's accountant, but his client is the people. They decide; anticipate inclement tournament weather.
1
Good read of the greens, Roger!
2
Republicans and Donald Trump never saw a war they didn't love. Now Korea? This can't end well for anyone, but trump, will have his cover and his minions will be in awe. But will they all sign up for the army?
5
Notice the number on the golf cart. Am amazed that trump does not insist on number 1.
4
Most of us cannot wake up from our long national nightmare.
3
The last sentence made the article, and time spent reading it, worthwhile.
2
Don't forget the quicksand trap of Afghanistan and the rapidly rising water level of global warming.
6
It would be funny were he still an alleged real estate mogul, but he's the president. The time for laughing at his behavior is gone.
6
Trump has essentially stopped all mass multiple murder in the USA since he was elected when under Obama these occurred weekly, riddle me that. Before many now none?
Is that you, Kelly Ann?
3
Actually, you can tell a lot about a person's character by their behavior on a golf course. The liars tend to drop a few shots here and there. This article no doubt accurately describes Trump's behavior on a golf course. His partners probably have to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
3
Ok. Easy article to write but you need to appeal to the baseball cap crowd. I tell my friends, is this how you run your business where I can't tell if you are telling the truth or not, you work four days a week, your employees are afraid to give you bad news and worse, have to lie for you?
6
TRUMPING--THE DON'S FAVORITE SPORT
A Trumping we will go! A Trummping we did go!
Low-ho, it's scary-o! Low-ho, it's scary-o!
We'll watch the idjet box! And then perhaps detox!
But sheeple come in flocks, in flocks! Come in flocks and flocks!
Low-ho, it's scary-o! Low-ho, it’s scary-o!
The nation's sunk so low, low, low! Slunk and sunk so low!
A Trumping we have went! The Trumpimg now is spent!
No wonder all is bent, bent, bent! No wonder all is bent!
A Trumping we will go! A Trummping we did go!
Low-ho, it's scary-o! Low-ho, it's scary-o!
We'll watch the idjet box! And then perhaps detox!
But sheeple come in flocks, in flocks! Come in flocks and flocks!
Low-ho, it's scary-o! Low-ho, it’s scary-o!
The nation's sunk so low, low, low! Slunk and sunk so low!
A Trumping we have went! The Trumpimg now is spent!
No wonder all is bent, bent, bent! No wonder all is bent!
4
I've always enjoyed Roger Cohen's prosaic writing. He has to be one of the best journalists on the planet but I had no idea he could be so funny. The problem is this is so close to truth it hurts to laugh. How did we allow trump to happen. Where is our missing in action congress.
12
I know that Roger Cohen intended this as satire but it strikes too close to home to produce a belly laugh. Numerous executives, politicians and sports figures who've played with Mr. Trump over the years complain that he is the biggest cheater they ever took a round with,
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Actually, Trump's opponents claimed that the Russians hacked into their clubs and scorecards.
3
Cheating and the Donald go together like fries and a Big Mac.
8
That's an idea. Since he likes golf more than governing, he should simply do what he likes best. He scores his card he way he scores his actions...always more than he has actually done.
21
Maybe offering Trump a HUUUGE Billion $ golden parachute and rights to build himself a new Trump golf course, "the likes of which nobody has seenz", in his favorite country, Russia, would entice him to resign as POTUS. After all, it appears those same bone spurs that got him so many deferments from military service are acting up again...this time in his head.
2
A hole-in-one essay of sport imitating life. Unfortunately Trump treats life as imitating sport, might be fair game in some places, but not here and not now. Will Trump be playing golf as the world burns, akin to a modern-day Nero with his alleged fiddle in Rome?
What would be worth watching would be a match between Presidents Obama and Trump. It would be interesting to see who could teach whom how to play the game.
What would be worth watching would be a match between Presidents Obama and Trump. It would be interesting to see who could teach whom how to play the game.
13
Trump would lose Bigly to President Obama. And blame his loss on his foot's bone spurs. Not sure which one. But one, for sure, is in his mouth.
4
Trump isn't teachable. He already knows everything and seems to make his own set of rules.
4
We should be thankful that President Trump has his favorite and most time consuming activities--playing golf, reading his twice-daily-delivered fan clippings, watching cable news and tweeting--to distract him from causing far greater harm to the nation's interests.
He is the epitome of a hollow man, distracted from distraction by distractions. If only he would amuse himself to the point of total ineffectiveness and thereby improve the prospects of the rest of us.
He is the epitome of a hollow man, distracted from distraction by distractions. If only he would amuse himself to the point of total ineffectiveness and thereby improve the prospects of the rest of us.
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Unfortunately, trump is now distracted by one-upping North Korea's atrocious leader. trump's tweeter war with North Korea is daring Kim Yong Ung to go ahead and reach Guam with his toys and trump (sounding like Hitler) will retaliate with ours.
If we could get them both on a golf course and let them destroy each other however they choose, it would be a better world.
If we could get them both on a golf course and let them destroy each other however they choose, it would be a better world.
2
Well said. Can we now have Twitter account revoked. Please?
If anyone benefits at all in a geopolitical - certainly not a humanitarian - sense from a confrontation that kills untold numbers of Koreans and maybe Americans, it will be China.
If trump is still allowed to tweet from his jail cell, we'll doubtless be treated to a bunch of "who knew?s"
If trump is still allowed to tweet from his jail cell, we'll doubtless be treated to a bunch of "who knew?s"
25
Fun stuff and most likely completely fair in the manner a person like Trump would manage scoring. Gotta love those mulligans. They can make even the worst golfer look great. And we all know that appearances are everything to Trump. Even if they are not mired in any reality. Reality is whatever he decides it should be. Whatever it takes to make him the greatest that ever was at most everything. He exhibits on a daily basis that he is without a doubt a very seriously compromised person and president. Certainly no one to be admired.
39
Mr. Beck, if appearance is everything to Trump, why doesn't he remove that dead furry pelt from his head? Could Donald the Bald possibly be more unattractive than Donald the Pelted?
4
Rick--Once a cheater, always a cheater. Surprising how often cheaters regard themselves as "winners."
8
I am going to guess that his head pelt is a product of vanity. But then vanity is a fault and we all know Donald the pelted does not have any. Thanks for the laugh!
1
The Board of Directors at my senior golf league would have him disbarred from participating in further League events.
30
A great report from the course so far Mr. Cohen. Here he is swinging on the course:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/opinion/2017/08/05/cartoon-050820...
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/content/dam/opinion/2017/08/05/cartoon-050820...
12
Great!
Roger, you've got a problem on the first hole. Based on your scenario, Trump's score actually is a 5. Was that the point, that he can't count?
14
No problem here!
He "duffs his sand wedge but opts NOT TO COUNT..."? That makes a FAKE par...in the REAL world.
He "duffs his sand wedge but opts NOT TO COUNT..."? That makes a FAKE par...in the REAL world.
1
Funny how his life imitates his golf game. This guy should never be president - he should be selling used cars somewhere.
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Rather brilliant, Roger!
42
Let's think of it this way: On the scale of America's great disasters, he does not yet outweigh slavery, the Civil War, the Great Depression, World War II or 9-11.
But the day is young, and he still has miles to go and promises to keep before he sleeps. (With a tip of my hat to Robert Frost.)
But the day is young, and he still has miles to go and promises to keep before he sleeps. (With a tip of my hat to Robert Frost.)
72
A. Stanton....you may be be right for the moment. However, let's see what happens when people start dying from poisoned streams, lack of health care, are suffering sexual attacks at schools, drowning in floods, committing suicide because they have no food or nor housing. By the way, Hate crimes are up, so your slavery example may not hold water. What he is doing to our nation IS a disaster, it is just that it is one of long- term damage and may not be as dramatic until we are all history.
6
@A Stanton: if Trump keeps any promises, it will be a first for him.
3
I am not sure that Trump hasn`t outdone 9-11. If not there is plenty of time to make it a sure thing.
1
Too bad we can't declare the election a mulligan and do the whole thing over.
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Excellent comment. If only we could.
25
Yes, he plays golf, but America has the handicap
132
Clever.
So along the same theme, his multiple wives are simply well-deserved mulligans, his multiple bankruptcies are mere shanks and his ludicrous orange face a bold attempt to imitate a Ricky Fowler outfit.
So along the same theme, his multiple wives are simply well-deserved mulligans, his multiple bankruptcies are mere shanks and his ludicrous orange face a bold attempt to imitate a Ricky Fowler outfit.
83
My dad's time in the Army Air Corps was 6 years through the second World War.
He spoke of bombing runs as 'going to golf' and it always amused me to hear that particular recollection.
It looks like the USAF is going to golf, except that most tees will be much better than par; how about holes in one?
He spoke of bombing runs as 'going to golf' and it always amused me to hear that particular recollection.
It looks like the USAF is going to golf, except that most tees will be much better than par; how about holes in one?
1
This is mildly funny: Trump has spent a lot of his lifetime on the golf course.
He hasn't spent very many minutes on studying history or government.
His supposed "wealth" has insulated him from reality and from the consequences of his actions. He lives in a fantasy world. But he wields enormous and real power and we are all going to suffer the consequences.
He hasn't spent very many minutes on studying history or government.
His supposed "wealth" has insulated him from reality and from the consequences of his actions. He lives in a fantasy world. But he wields enormous and real power and we are all going to suffer the consequences.
72
Hole 1, Par 5.
There is some debate around whether or not his caddie, Mitch McConnell, placed the ball back in the same location after picking it up and cleaning it for Mr. Trump. When questioned later Mr. Trump tweeted, "12 inches, 12 feet,what's the difference? It's all fake news. I won. And if it wasn't for 3 million to 5 million illegal grains of sand I would have won the birdie too"
There is some debate around whether or not his caddie, Mitch McConnell, placed the ball back in the same location after picking it up and cleaning it for Mr. Trump. When questioned later Mr. Trump tweeted, "12 inches, 12 feet,what's the difference? It's all fake news. I won. And if it wasn't for 3 million to 5 million illegal grains of sand I would have won the birdie too"
70
In Ian Fleming's "Goldfinger", if I recall correctly, Bond realizes that Auric Goldfinger is a man without ethics or decency when he plays golf with him and Goldfinger cheats.
272
Perhaps an adolescent Trump read "Goldfinger" as autoerotica?
4
Well, to be fair, Bond helped that scenario mightily- he covered Goldfinger's ball with his foot. Ne'ertheless, one's golf play does show character. Our presently selected POTUS has none.
3
Russian President Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin has a black belt in judo to go along with his KGB training. Leading an aging shrinking nation of 143 million people against an America with 15x the annual Russian nominal GDP and 9x the annual Russian military arms and personnel is the ultimate in athletic global socioeconomic diplomatic military strategic victory. Punching above his weight made Trump Putin's selected puppet dummy.
5
Roger Cohen, there are many millions of Americans who don't give a shizzle for golf or for their 45th President.
27
The scary part, it is probably close to the truth. Never trust a guy who cheats at golf. They are the lowest scum of the earth.
148
Clever, if forced at times. My favorite: "Sends his approach into the McCain bunker, and decides nuking Pyongyang would be simpler than health care."
Ah yes. When the ultimate diversion is war with a fellow madman, who can say no?
I hope that Mueller, whom Trump appears to be trying to "cultivate" as he did Comey, gets a chance to complete his audit.
Not only of this amazing 25% of his days spent at his own golf courses while in the White House, but of all that went before. Including the moment in the exact year when Trump's greed and financial desperation won out over common sense and he made his devil's pact with corrupt Mother Russia.
We know Trump to be a gambler--too bad for him he didn't recognize just how deep that financial sand trap is.
Ah yes. When the ultimate diversion is war with a fellow madman, who can say no?
I hope that Mueller, whom Trump appears to be trying to "cultivate" as he did Comey, gets a chance to complete his audit.
Not only of this amazing 25% of his days spent at his own golf courses while in the White House, but of all that went before. Including the moment in the exact year when Trump's greed and financial desperation won out over common sense and he made his devil's pact with corrupt Mother Russia.
We know Trump to be a gambler--too bad for him he didn't recognize just how deep that financial sand trap is.
147
Mr. Cohen left off the part where Trump aces the bridge obstacle, after putting through the windmill and lighting up the clown's nose.
Trump is well known in the upper-crust NYC golf set for cheating, on his own golf courses or any other. Ask anyone who has played with him.
Those same folk also agree that his golf courses are beautiful. One canceling out the other can only be a thought of the blisteringly rich.
Those same folk also agree that his golf courses are beautiful. One canceling out the other can only be a thought of the blisteringly rich.
166
Well that's good advice, we should, all of us, call our friends who golf with Trump and ask that question. Thanks!
Way to set the world straight.
Golf was dying before Trump. I gotta believe it's just about dead now, but will civilization go first?
Way to set the world straight.
Golf was dying before Trump. I gotta believe it's just about dead now, but will civilization go first?
This article might be funny if Trump didn't have the ability to plunge the world into nuclear war, or by denying climate change make it unlivable for our grandchildren.
I'm sorry, but I can't laugh at Trump - the stakes are too high....
I'm sorry, but I can't laugh at Trump - the stakes are too high....
283
You're sure you are not Gail Collins in disguise?
79
Gail Collins is funny ... you ain't
2
I'm sure he doesn't mind being called a liar almost every day by everyone but Faux News, but he would probably ask Sessions to investigate anyone suggesting he cheats at golf!
99
Are his verbal mulligans lies?
A bit of truth stretching comprise
His games fire and fury
His tipping penury
A great golfer mulliganwise.
A bit of truth stretching comprise
His games fire and fury
His tipping penury
A great golfer mulliganwise.
152
"Only the fake news NYT would call that a 6"
Rate this a 10 out of ten, or, this being golf, a 6 under. On the first nine. Can you top yourself on the back nine? I don't think I'll read any other Trump commentary to day.
Rate this a 10 out of ten, or, this being golf, a 6 under. On the first nine. Can you top yourself on the back nine? I don't think I'll read any other Trump commentary to day.
74
Trump's mentality is a sand trap at Bethpage Black.
63
And his first term feels as interminable as that famously long course.
4
We may not survive the back nine. I can't take so much winning.
349
An apt metaphor for Trump's approach to the presidency--as a game he can cheat at, play without regard to other players, and define "winning" however he wants.
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