This is hilarious.
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Siblings Without Rivalry! By Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlisch
The ideas in this article seem pretty froufrou. Maybe they'd work once or twice.
The ideas in this article seem pretty froufrou. Maybe they'd work once or twice.
Just imagine, if the warring parties in Syria practiced this, why peace would breakout all over. Why doesn't the U.N. simply suggest everyone take a deep breath, turn up the music and dance! I think they would agree to that, just like typical kids would.
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Are you kidding? Separate them! They've had enough of each other and need a break. Give it to them.
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As a parent the job is to manage the kids and perhaps if you value a serene home, end the noise. Breathing and dancing , I suspect don't work for us normal people with normal emotions. above all remember this is not about you.
I have a couple of methods.
First off. intervene if it looks like injury could occur. Hollering "stop that right now!" is acceptable to let the kids know that someone is in danger, as is dragging away from the danger. Kids pick up the tones of terror in your voice and respond.
Second, if it looks like something they can work out, communicate that and leave to give them a chance. (my second favorite. it works about one time in ten.)
Third, send everyone off to their rooms if they have different rooms. Otherwise separate them. My favorite. by four, the kid will storm off to his/her room on their own. Quiet all around and a chance to cool off.
I have a couple of methods.
First off. intervene if it looks like injury could occur. Hollering "stop that right now!" is acceptable to let the kids know that someone is in danger, as is dragging away from the danger. Kids pick up the tones of terror in your voice and respond.
Second, if it looks like something they can work out, communicate that and leave to give them a chance. (my second favorite. it works about one time in ten.)
Third, send everyone off to their rooms if they have different rooms. Otherwise separate them. My favorite. by four, the kid will storm off to his/her room on their own. Quiet all around and a chance to cool off.
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Mmm several snarky comments when I think the suggestions of the article could be helpful. In my experience kids (and adults too) just want to be heard. Slowly things down with a little breathing provides an opportunity for that to happen. The dancing provides a happy release to encourage discussion and/or reconnect after the chance to express concerns. Maybe try it or some variation before discounting the potential benefits.
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In my experience as a kid, parent and grandparent, and also as an attorney, people fighting want to win. To get their way. To have the rightness of their position and the wrongness of the other position affirmed. To be the ascendant, most loved kid.
The teaching/learning experience is that usually that doesn't happen. and that compromise is what you get. Dancing has nothing to do with it. Phrases like "I hear you" can be maddening.
The teaching/learning experience is that usually that doesn't happen. and that compromise is what you get. Dancing has nothing to do with it. Phrases like "I hear you" can be maddening.
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This hippy nonsense is pathetically out of touch with actual children and family life.
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"If you can't say anything nice, I don't want to hear you say anything."
"Go to your room."
"One more peep out of the pair of you, and you are both getting no ________."
These also work.
"Go to your room."
"One more peep out of the pair of you, and you are both getting no ________."
These also work.
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Seriously? What kids would agree to either breathing or dancing in the middle of a fight? And what parent wouldn't get embroiled in the attack for even suggesting such a thing?
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'Turn up the music and start dancing.' Yes, that will definitely work....
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Is this satire? Hilarious!!
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Sometimes, you have to ignore their skirmishes. They usually resolve themselves. They're just itching to get you involved and take sides. Raising a large family involves keeping the family ship steady and not allow turbulence to sink it. Oftentimes, the punished child is grateful to spend time away from his/her siblings.
I was the oldest of eight and in turn raised thirteen. I'm far from an expert but some suggestions seemed comical and farcical but possibly solvable depending on the situation.
I was the oldest of eight and in turn raised thirteen. I'm far from an expert but some suggestions seemed comical and farcical but possibly solvable depending on the situation.
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My suggestion to my psychotherapy clients is for families to practice mindfulness together before untoward events occur. Mindfulness is a perfect practice for the entire family to do together. I have been recommending this to my psychotherapy clients for over 35 years. Often it is very helpful to have some sort of audio guidance during these mindfulness meditation sessions so I recommend the guided meditation audios at www.lightunlimitedpublishing.com. There are many topics to choose from which can help create interest for everyone in the family. It takes practice to see results but it is well worth the effort for everyone.
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What is the success rate? Are the results published anywhere that we can see?
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