It's clear that sexual harassment is rampant in the tech industry, but there are many industries where it is just as bad or worse. Mine was the thoroughbred racehorse industry, which I was forced out of because I made a sexual harassment complaint. I've been out for a long time, but I seriously doubt anything has changed.
41
I've been sexually harassed at work several times over the years by women. It's not a one way street. It's not a matter of power. It's the organic animal in people regardless of gender. I don't see us breeding it out us anytime soon.
16
I recently read an article that pointed out that anti semitism was a characteristic of people on both sides of the political spectrum.
This article highlights how sexual harassment is often practiced by people from all walks of life.
It doesn't stop there.
We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants.
We are a nation that sanctifies private property but nearly our entire country was stolen from its original inhabitants.
We are a nation that claims all people are equal that has been built on slavery, segregation and the disenfranchisement of women, minorities and the poor.
Before we can stop hating ourselves and despising one another we need to be honest with ourselves.
I don't think we need political discourse as much as we need group therapy.
This article highlights how sexual harassment is often practiced by people from all walks of life.
It doesn't stop there.
We are a nation of immigrants who hate immigrants.
We are a nation that sanctifies private property but nearly our entire country was stolen from its original inhabitants.
We are a nation that claims all people are equal that has been built on slavery, segregation and the disenfranchisement of women, minorities and the poor.
Before we can stop hating ourselves and despising one another we need to be honest with ourselves.
I don't think we need political discourse as much as we need group therapy.
73
Well, it seems its going to be baby steps. But nothing will change until brave women like the ones outlined here stay the course. I hope most do. But if women don't go into the tech field, or if they quit once they make it there, nothing will change. Sounds obvious but change will not come if you just ask men to play nice. Also, I'm sure there are plenty of decent kind men in SV too. They just don't get highlighted.
19
Our country and culture was founded on the supremacy of men. I am glad that more women are speaking up. We need more men to speak up. If you are a man and you listen to, laugh at, don't challenge, or justify bias, sexism, racism, and other deplorable behavior by the men that you work with you are part of the problem.
63
And so it was and still is. I commend women who stuck with their goals. I was not that strong. 1982. In college my engineering physics lab TA refused to let me take measurements "because I was a female" also the lone female in the class. I took the class another semester. I also dropped my quantitative chem lab because the TA said I reminded him of a girlfriend who broke up with him. After two years of independent research with a chemistry professor receiving encouragement to pursue a doctorate in biochemistry, he let it be known he thought of me sexually. Real science or a lead on? Males work forward, women have hurdle after hurdle. Respect for their work or just their body? I never applied to graduate school.
72
I wonder if men are also harassed after receiving money for their start ups... Is sad that women receiving money for their entrepreneurial activities are seen as in debt in very different ways than men.
14
If aggressive homosexual venture capitalists were demanding anal penetrative sex from male start-up entrepreneurs as a condition of funding their fledgling companies, I truly think there would be the kind of outrage that the problem deserves -- but when it happens to women, everyone pretends it's "natural," it's "inevitable," it's not happening, it's the women's fault, women like it, it doesn't really cost the women anything to comply or otherwise tries to excuse it. It's just misogyny.
81
I'd like to see a follow-up story on FOX News. Have things improved since Ailes and O'Reilly's firings? I wonder if Kalanik's ouster will do anything to improve working conditions for females at Uber.
18
Should I believe this story? It so neatly fits with the anti-male ideology of the NYT that I can only wonder if this is creative writing.
13
I know two of the women and I can assure you it's true.
45
Said no one, ever, unless they are self entitled and presumptuous in their thinking about their inherent value.
32
There is simply no excuse for this - the problem of sexual harassment has been publicly discussed since the Clarence Thomas hearings. It is the subject of HR presentations and part of corporate policies and grounds for legal actions. if it goes to a physical point. Yet men - some of whom were not even born when Anita Hill made her claims and thousand of women started speaking up - continue to harass, abuse and degrade women. Because they think they can get away with it and often do. This harassment is a form of rape whether it is a crude e-mail or a physical assault. Rape and any form of sexual harassment is not about sex, but power. It has been nearly four decades since I was assaulted by an executive in a Fortune 500 company. Nothing has changed - if anything they are worse with a sexual predator in the White House.
37
I do finance. My goal is get rich. I will do anything to get rich that doesn't kill or hurt anybody and that doesn't poison the planet. That is the zero sum attitude of Wall Street. I share it.
What fascinates me about the comments here is that most people seem more concerned with fighting (perceived) injustice than getting rich. Presumably, most men and women who seek out VC funding are more concerned with getting rich.
I admire people concerned with fighting injustice, but that's not who I am. I kind of feel like once people enter the corporate world in pursuit of wealth (here, by starting a start-up), all bets are off. They enter the gladiatorial, eat or be eaten arena. Welcome to the thunder dome.
I'd have more sympathy for these women, if they weren't greedy capitalist pigs (like me) in pursuit of wealth. These are not special education teachers. Corporate life is savage and cruel. This is true, even for men. They may not get groped, but they get hazed and exploited. Once money enters the picture, I feel like all bets are off. There is no kind, gentle way to get rich, unless you can sing/dance like Justin Timberlake or hit three-pointers like Steph Curry.
What fascinates me about the comments here is that most people seem more concerned with fighting (perceived) injustice than getting rich. Presumably, most men and women who seek out VC funding are more concerned with getting rich.
I admire people concerned with fighting injustice, but that's not who I am. I kind of feel like once people enter the corporate world in pursuit of wealth (here, by starting a start-up), all bets are off. They enter the gladiatorial, eat or be eaten arena. Welcome to the thunder dome.
I'd have more sympathy for these women, if they weren't greedy capitalist pigs (like me) in pursuit of wealth. These are not special education teachers. Corporate life is savage and cruel. This is true, even for men. They may not get groped, but they get hazed and exploited. Once money enters the picture, I feel like all bets are off. There is no kind, gentle way to get rich, unless you can sing/dance like Justin Timberlake or hit three-pointers like Steph Curry.
18
Using your logic of dog eat dog, anything goes, it's all about the money capitalism - VCs should automatically rape every woman who comes in asking for funding. To ensure that those women are immobilized and terrified enough to not compete.
25
You seem to be a sociopath who belongs in prison. Probably, in solitary confinement. Your attitude is pathological. Normal humans have consciences, they have a sense of right and wrong, they have a desire for fairness and justice. Morality is not an aberrant or unusual human trait. Having morals is considered a minimum requirement for being normal.
You apparently do not have any.
Your thought processes are not normal and you should consider getting therapy before you get some forced on you by a judge.
You apparently do not have any.
Your thought processes are not normal and you should consider getting therapy before you get some forced on you by a judge.
69
You have to wonder what colleges are doing to prepare their female students for the job market. To prepare the male students for the job market so that they join the predators. What are high schools doing for all their students? What about churches? Community Centers?
OOPS. Maybe that's a bit of a stretch. Okay, I'm revising my syllabi so that if my nieces, nephews ask me what I am doing about this rapacious culture of American society, I can say, well, I started with my classes.
AAUP: http://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-on-campu...
OOPS. Maybe that's a bit of a stretch. Okay, I'm revising my syllabi so that if my nieces, nephews ask me what I am doing about this rapacious culture of American society, I can say, well, I started with my classes.
AAUP: http://www.aauw.org/what-we-do/legal-resources/know-your-rights-on-campu...
8
The stories I tell my daughter about working in the U.S. in the 1980s are unbelievable to her. In my first position after university, I had to find an attorney who helped to stop a male supervisor from harassing me. His outrageous verbal assaults were both ridiculous and hideous. He had six children, and portrayed himself as devoted religious man. I'm sorry to say but with Trump in power, men will be empowered to act their worst.
44
Forty years ago when I was a Princeton University engineering student working for Bechtel, my supervisor asked me (with male coworkers present) if I was a virgin. When I didn't answer, he asked again. The clerk and I were the only women on a floor of 150. I often worked in the restroom. I cried on my lunch time walks to Red's Java House. In 1979 when I was a oceanography graduate student traversing the East Pacific Rise on a research vessel, a young man I was training beat me up. The lead scientist advised me to hide my bruises and did not report the assault to the Captain (and neither did I). In 1988 with 7 years of construction engineering experience working for my father in Alaska, I was asked during an interview for a municipal job if I was married. When I said no the follow up was, "But you plan to marry, right?" The only man I scored better than that day was a young student without a college degree. -- It has gotten better. There are many decent and fair minded men in engineering, including my husband. I think the most powerful fairness accelerators are men with daughters in the workplace (or planning to enter it). But even today men often are not so much enlightened as smarter about what they say publicly and how they couch their actions. What is disheartening is that so many men in power still don't even know to keep their Cro-Magnon thoughts private.
96
How is this news.
Is it something new that men are attracted to beautiful women and will try to use what ever they might have to get them into bed
It's in academia.
It's in the military.
It's in the arts.
I am sure if you look hard enough you might find that its has happened at the Time.
I don't know if there is a place where it's not.
These women have very little to complain about.
I see nothing wrong if a guy expresses a desire to date them for example.
To make a big deal out of something that I consider normal tells me these women are looking for a cause and the New York Times is more than willing to help them.
Surprised Trump's name did not come up.
Is it something new that men are attracted to beautiful women and will try to use what ever they might have to get them into bed
It's in academia.
It's in the military.
It's in the arts.
I am sure if you look hard enough you might find that its has happened at the Time.
I don't know if there is a place where it's not.
These women have very little to complain about.
I see nothing wrong if a guy expresses a desire to date them for example.
To make a big deal out of something that I consider normal tells me these women are looking for a cause and the New York Times is more than willing to help them.
Surprised Trump's name did not come up.
11
If you consider this predatory behavior normal, then you are part of the problem.
Don't normal men want to have sex with women who are doing it because the women WANT to have sex, not because the women have been FORCED to submit to sex with a man they find disgusting because that jerk is using his control over something the women need as a weapon to coerce them into agreeing to tolerate his disgusting and unwanted proximity?
You seem to think that normal men enjoy coercive, unwelcome, purchased or forced sex.
I would say that makes you pathological and you should consider having yourself examined and treated before you get yourself into legal trouble at work.
Don't normal men want to have sex with women who are doing it because the women WANT to have sex, not because the women have been FORCED to submit to sex with a man they find disgusting because that jerk is using his control over something the women need as a weapon to coerce them into agreeing to tolerate his disgusting and unwanted proximity?
You seem to think that normal men enjoy coercive, unwelcome, purchased or forced sex.
I would say that makes you pathological and you should consider having yourself examined and treated before you get yourself into legal trouble at work.
59
"Mr. Canter, in an interview, said that Ms. Dent 'came on strong to me, asking for help' and that she had used her sexuality publicly. He said he disliked her ideas so he behaved the way he did to make her go away."
1. "He disliked her ideas so he behaved the way he did to make her go away." Oh, the poor, widdle power-broker (the founder "of a software company in the 1980s," who's now a "start-up adviser" with a large enough professional network to allow him to find co-founders for aspiring entrepreneurs) was forced to resort to a campaign passive-aggressive sexual harassment to get the big, bad witch-lady who desperately needed his help to "go away."
He couldn't just say "go away." He couldn't just say, "I'm not interested in your ideas." He couldn't simply stop responding to her her messages. No, he had to call her a "sorceress casting a spell," comment on how she looked in a certain dress, etc.
2. She "came on strong, asking me for help." Nice ambiguity. Did she "come on" to him? Or did she aggressively ask him for help?
3. She "had used her sexuality publicly." Oh, you mean she wore that blue dress? Or failed to button the top two buttons of her blouse? Please, sir, if you're going to engage in the ancient game of blaming the victim, you need to avoid being vague and generic. You need to cite concrete, specific examples. And since you claim it was "public," please provide the names of witnesses. Otherwise, we might, you know, suspect it was all in your head.
1. "He disliked her ideas so he behaved the way he did to make her go away." Oh, the poor, widdle power-broker (the founder "of a software company in the 1980s," who's now a "start-up adviser" with a large enough professional network to allow him to find co-founders for aspiring entrepreneurs) was forced to resort to a campaign passive-aggressive sexual harassment to get the big, bad witch-lady who desperately needed his help to "go away."
He couldn't just say "go away." He couldn't just say, "I'm not interested in your ideas." He couldn't simply stop responding to her her messages. No, he had to call her a "sorceress casting a spell," comment on how she looked in a certain dress, etc.
2. She "came on strong, asking me for help." Nice ambiguity. Did she "come on" to him? Or did she aggressively ask him for help?
3. She "had used her sexuality publicly." Oh, you mean she wore that blue dress? Or failed to button the top two buttons of her blouse? Please, sir, if you're going to engage in the ancient game of blaming the victim, you need to avoid being vague and generic. You need to cite concrete, specific examples. And since you claim it was "public," please provide the names of witnesses. Otherwise, we might, you know, suspect it was all in your head.
64
I find it disturbing that the NYT chose to use suggestive poses emphasizing women's legs and even one women stretched out on a coach to illustrate an article about sexual harassment of women. Women's bodies once again become the focal point. The NYT should use only professional business photos of all women and men it profiles to avoid contributing to the problem.
30
I agree. But, women should be able to HAVE bodies without that becoming the focal point. The photo I'm looking at right now -- one woman does have on a very casual and too-short-for-work jean skirt but the other two are merely attempting to go out into public without leaving their body behind.
10
Across the board, these Silicon Valley hypocrites hate President Trump. With all the meaningless accusations against the President, regarding his romantic entanglements and things he said in private, no one has accused him of hitting on employees or potential employees. Rather women who have worked for him have reported that they were hired or promoted based solely upon their abilities.
Truly the geeks of the Valley hate Trump because he is a real man, who does not have to resort to intimidation and coercion to get a woman.
Truly the geeks of the Valley hate Trump because he is a real man, who does not have to resort to intimidation and coercion to get a woman.
4
You're right: walking into a dressing room full of undressed teenagers who are part of his beauty pageant isn't intimidation or coercion at all. They probably loved it. It's what a real man does: uses their power to remind women that of course they want their rights to be trodden over because they simply can't resist this delectable hunk of a man.
54
Hhahahahahahhaaaa!!
That gave me a laugh!!!
That is the most ridiculous assertion of something blatantly preposterous I've seen so far this week and, in the current media environment, that's saying a lot!!
That gave me a laugh!!!
That is the most ridiculous assertion of something blatantly preposterous I've seen so far this week and, in the current media environment, that's saying a lot!!
17
I'm a software developer and the females in my work area gossip for the first and last hour of every work day. They shift project responsibility to male co-workers. The work they do submit is rarely clean, requiring male co-workers to devote their time to fixing. Because the average pay needs to be about equal, and we have fewer women than men, they not only make more, they boast about making than male co-workers. In a week, the men work at least 10 hours more than them. If anyone's getting abused in tech, it's non-exec, non-protected class men.
P.S. the 'American Apparel' photo shoot accompanying a serious piece on sexual harassment was a misstep.
P.S. the 'American Apparel' photo shoot accompanying a serious piece on sexual harassment was a misstep.
7
I worked in finance and the men in my workplace drank heavily after work nearly every night and came to work hung over, spaced out and unfit to perform. They spent hours during the day when they should have been working on their phones with the various women they were juggling and lying to, trying to keep them from finding out about each other. They used their wives as unpaid domestic labor while setting up "work" meetings with clients in strip clubs and whorehouses. But THAT'S ALL FINE. I'm sure you'd regard them has highly productive employees.
39
In an article about sexual harassment, NYT, adds the names and ages of almost every woman in the article, but not any of the men. Is their ages necessary information that aides in the understanding of this article? Although this is not harassment, this is not sexism or racism, it is an -ism of another kind, ageism I seen time and time again in reporting, not just in NYT.
41
I find this article very interesting because it caught my eye while scrolling through this weeks selection of stories. This one in particular caught my eye because of its appalling title, stating that women are getting harassed at work. Being harassed or assaulted as a woman has a much higher rate than if a man were to be assaulted. More and more stories come out today sharing the disgusting things that occur to women in their daily lives. Thanks to stories like these, exposing the people who send sexist things to others, we can prevent people from acting inappropriately on others. Women going into business or work should be able to feel comfortable and at ease to do their job properly and simply. Unfortunately, there are those people who make that impossible for others by being sexist and inappropriate. Rules should be set to punish those who make other people at work uncomfortable and possibly threatened. People who feel it is appropriate and not harmful to act disgustingly upon others are disgraceful, and are unfortunately employed at many places causing many to be harassed. This article interested me the most because I believe that women and anyone at the workplace should be able to feel comfortable doing what they need to do.
5
I have worked at startups the better part of a decade. These attitudes are endemic and speaking up results in being shut out from the conversation rather than any significant company culture changes. I was literally groped in front of the entire company at an offsite wine tasting and there were zero consequences at my very first startup. Personally I could list dozens of examples of harassment or sexism. The sexism is pervasive even for those who aren't harassed, making women feel very unwelcome. I'm glad people are speaking up but tech has been slow to change outside of the more egregious cases/companies like Uber. This is why many mid-senior level women burn out or leave technology - they just can't stomach it anymore.
17
Wall Street and international finance are just as bad. I quit due to this and due to the "mommy-tracking" which happens when a woman hits a certain age and all the men around her ASSUME (despite her specifically stating the opposite) that she will soon be unable to perform her duties or to undertake a good job because she will agree to work as an unpaid domestic slave to a man in exchange for socially-sanctioned (married) sex. Such garbage in men's heads.
16
As a woman, and having my own start-up, this story, along with other stories covered by the NYT, about women and sexism, really opened up my eyes to how deep this still really cuts in our North American society and how my story mirrors theirs on so many levels. I appreciate the NYT so much for having women's backs and telling these stories and fighting for truth and justice for all people with the across the board NYT coverage aimed at "integrity for all". Thank you, as a woman, for this really transparent and honest story.
21
I'm not surprised at the predatory behavior of these individuals, taking advantage of people because they have something that is wanted (money). I encourage women to stop looking for mates based on their financial assets. Once that stops, men will see that women are not to be bought.
Also, I don't see that this predatory behavior and the lack of women in tech are necessarily related. Women being encouraged and taking an interest in tech is a relatively recent thing. It will take time before the demographics show relatively equal numbers of men and women in this sector. Nursing, on the other hand, shows a preference for women. Men still have a way to go to have equal numbers in this profession.
Also, I don't see that this predatory behavior and the lack of women in tech are necessarily related. Women being encouraged and taking an interest in tech is a relatively recent thing. It will take time before the demographics show relatively equal numbers of men and women in this sector. Nursing, on the other hand, shows a preference for women. Men still have a way to go to have equal numbers in this profession.
1
In 1987 I worked in investment banking at Merrill Lynch. My manager, after hearing about some inappropriate behavior directed at me by one of my team and by getting a comment from a senior manager who said 'he was uncomfortable working with me' - fired me - because I was a 'distraction'. He also plainly told me that it was my fault. I was given the choice of signing a 'no fault/non-disclosure' for 10k or nothing - I consulted an attorney at the time and she suggested that while I had clearly been wronged, if I pursued legal recourse I'd likely never work in finance again. I took the 10k.
Years later I knew I'd encounter this executive at Merrill in an upcoming business-meeting, so I called him - to ask directly if he was going to be appropriate and honor our written agreement. When he heard my voice on the phone he immediately said 'Oh, first, last name (mine), are you going to sue me?' -
Years later, after Anita Hill reluctantly stepped forward to articulate what she had experienced at the hands of a male-superior, I again was placed in an awful, sexist situation at work where my male-peer threatened me for not 'putting out', my manager and HR ignored my documented harassment complaints and after being fired without cause, I sued under EEOC title 7. Five years later through mediation ordered by the federal judge, we settled confidentially. I'd rather have continued to work and be successful if it'd had been my choice.
Years later I knew I'd encounter this executive at Merrill in an upcoming business-meeting, so I called him - to ask directly if he was going to be appropriate and honor our written agreement. When he heard my voice on the phone he immediately said 'Oh, first, last name (mine), are you going to sue me?' -
Years later, after Anita Hill reluctantly stepped forward to articulate what she had experienced at the hands of a male-superior, I again was placed in an awful, sexist situation at work where my male-peer threatened me for not 'putting out', my manager and HR ignored my documented harassment complaints and after being fired without cause, I sued under EEOC title 7. Five years later through mediation ordered by the federal judge, we settled confidentially. I'd rather have continued to work and be successful if it'd had been my choice.
20
Over half a century in the work force I certainly experienced my share of sexual harassment and sexual discrimination and I know that the male-dominated culture of our society, not just the tech industry, enables that to continue. However, my introduction to the National Organization for Women in the 1970s came from a member who happened to be a man. I'm just sad that so little has changed as we have supposedly learned.
BTW, I read David McClure's apology at another site. Sounds to me as though he actually got the message. If you're going to apologize, do it right.
BTW, I read David McClure's apology at another site. Sounds to me as though he actually got the message. If you're going to apologize, do it right.
4
Reading these comments, I can't help wondering how they divide in terms of votes in the November election. There are some who seem quite Trumpian in their pessimism and sense of "get over it". And there are others who seem quite Clintonian in their sense of optimism and championing of change for women in a man's game.
5
Sounds like some of these women who want start-up financing are in a fix, much like an actress who won't get a part unless she gets on the casting couch. Some famous TV shows in the past could never be made today because they would not be politically correct. In today's workplace Mr. Waverly in "The Man From UNCLE" would probably be sued for only hiring gorgeous women to work at UNCLE headquarters. It isn't all bad for women in tech. Some editorial writer said that Marisa Meyer was perceived as a superhero who tried to save Yahoo. If a less attractive middle aged male CEO had been in charge of Yahoo's last days he would have been regarded with a lot less sympathy.
8
This sounds a bit like you're saying "get over it". Are you? If not, what exactly is your point?
9
It sounds as if you're trying to make excuses for the harassment, but your comment is too poorly written to be clear about it.
11
I spent almost 30 years at a much older, well established tech company. They had a code of conduct that one learned from Day One. On the very rare occasion when a colleague harassed me my manager took care of the issue immediately.
The company is considered "staid" but I always felt comfortable and respected. This was very different from my experiences in other companies or school situations.
The company is considered "staid" but I always felt comfortable and respected. This was very different from my experiences in other companies or school situations.
12
Apologies? Try paying damages. That would mean something.
Otherwise it's like the politician who stoutly asserts he "takes full responsibility" for his actions, but does nothing else. Nothing to rectify the result of his wrongful actions, nothing to compensate those hurt by them, nothing prevent such a thing from happening in the future. Empty words.
Otherwise it's like the politician who stoutly asserts he "takes full responsibility" for his actions, but does nothing else. Nothing to rectify the result of his wrongful actions, nothing to compensate those hurt by them, nothing prevent such a thing from happening in the future. Empty words.
21
It sounds this new "tech" economy worse than the old one. Given the social skills and streets smarts most of these people don't have it's not surprising. Maybe there's an app for that.
7
It is sad for me to read these stories. I worked in HR in an investment banking firm almost fifty years ago and it feels like very little has changed. I remember bringing a proposed policy to treat maternity like any other illness with the same kind of leave etc. it was a difficult conversation because everyone at the table were men whose wives didn't work. We did get the policy changed but it was like pulling teeth. And I naively thought that it was the beginning of the end of sexist policies. I was obviously wrong. Harassment, no promotional possibilities etc sounds exactly the same. Sigh...
18
Yet, kudos to you for your persistence and success!
It takes time, far too much time, but it is the accumulated efforts by people like you who have helped make the difference and brought about much-needed change!
It takes time, far too much time, but it is the accumulated efforts by people like you who have helped make the difference and brought about much-needed change!
12
This is and has been rampant in the valley since long before some of these women were even born. I have worked in IT for xx years and mostly in engineering. I can tell you that I ended up filing a case under Title 9 against one of the biggest. I did not understand my options then and there few at the time since Title 9 was quite new. Part of the 'settlement' was that I would never disclose what happened. If there is a reporter who is interested, I am willing to tell my story. My career was ruined - I was blacklisted for years. The man who harrassed me just ended up being 'transferred'. I got little support then - old ideas of blaming the woman were still the norm. We have made a tiny bit of progress but from what I can see, we still have a very long way to go.
38
There was a settlement where you agreed to confidentiality and yet you are asking for a reporter to contact you?
2
Bravo. So proud of the women who are standing up to sexism and ongoing abuse of power by men. Abuse of power lives only in darkness. Thank you for shedding light on evil. We, the women, are strong and smart and competent and deserve to be valued for the exact things that are deemed valuable in all human beings.
28
Sadly, although abuse of power certainly thrives in the darkness, it often survives under the brightest of klieg lights.
The most obvious example is the playground bully in the White House who claims to be POTUS.
The most obvious example is the playground bully in the White House who claims to be POTUS.
7
RadioLab podcasts have been opening up these problems for a while. Silicon Valley one of the worst offenders in bias problems.
5
Work places are mean, ugly places (even if the CEO is a woman),
If you can't stand the heat, then just leave the kitchen!
If you can't stand the heat, then just leave the kitchen!
6
This attitude is exactly why women often don't say anything. "The heat" of any job should not include sexual assault and harassment.
13
Are you arguing that when injustice happens, people just....deal with it? What a dark view of the world.
2
Good lord, why didn't I think of that solution? Just don't work! Be homeless! Starve!
13
I relate so much to the experiences that these women describe; I've fought the same battle as one of the few women working on a NYC trading floor the past 20 years. It seems to me that the fight would be so much easier if there were some decent men who were willing to speak out and corroborate women's accounts. Where are the decent men and why are they silent?!! Must we women fight this battle alone?
41
You are not alone. I helped several times in such cases to speak out, in Silicon Valley and New York. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. Corporate attitude is set from the top, it depends if they are willing to listen. The older I get, the more important I think it is to speak out. I will keep trying.
37
As a woman entrepreneur who in her day started and ran four successful businesses, I can only laugh at these silly women. For heaven's sake, go it alone! If you're clever, figure out how to self-finance or get women to be your investors. In my day, a woman couldn't even get a meeting with a male financier about starting a business. We couldn't even put our first names on our resumes and used our initials only in order to even try and get an interview for a management level job. Beat them at their own game, girls, beat them at their own game. Stop wasting energy on expecting men to change. It isn't going to happen.
16
Calling these women "silly" makes you part of the problem. And you're not nearly as empowered as you think you are if your solution is to avoid more than half the people in your industry.
48
So, you're saying that in your day a woman couldn't even get a meeting with a male financier. If women can now, doesn't that mean that men changed? Women too and the context has changed. Do you really think so little of men that you believe they cannot become better at evaluating opportunity through a less biased lens? You yorrself with your accomplishments have helped to give these young women a voice and a context in which that voice can be heard and respected. Do you really want to call them silly and laugh at them as most likely the men you initially encountered in your career probably did with you. Perhaps you need to change.
26
"As a woman entrepreneur who in her day started and ran four successful businesses...."
Such as?
If you're going to be specific with a number (four) you should include the industries and describe exactly HOW you "beat them at their own game." Did you start from nothing? Did you have a safety net in the form of a spouse with a second income or a family you could fall back on? Did you end up running four businesses simultaneously or one after the other, and if you ran one after the other, what happened to them? If you're going to belittle the women in this article as "silly" (mean girls never change either) you should describe how you're different.
Such as?
If you're going to be specific with a number (four) you should include the industries and describe exactly HOW you "beat them at their own game." Did you start from nothing? Did you have a safety net in the form of a spouse with a second income or a family you could fall back on? Did you end up running four businesses simultaneously or one after the other, and if you ran one after the other, what happened to them? If you're going to belittle the women in this article as "silly" (mean girls never change either) you should describe how you're different.
13
There isn't a man who won't try to look up the skirt of a passing woman. I don't condone it but I am not sure this basal nature can be put away. It will manifest itself one way or the other. Some stories will come out most will not. That's the way it is. The best that men can do is to consciously suppress instincts and try to be civil and the best that women can do is constantly strive to navigate the world and bring stories to light when possible.
4
BR, I think history is clear that men's "instincts" can and have evolved remarkably over the last several hundred years. I am not quite as resigned as you. I do agree bringing these incidents to light will help.
17
Stop making excuses for harrassment. Your "boys will be boys and girls should just deal with it" is ridiculous.
13
Overt sexual harassment is something most women will have experienced at some stage. Well done to these women for bravely standing up.
There is another form of sexism that is just as evil and widely practiced. It doesn't come with sexual advances but the sinister behaviors of exclusion, belittling, defense of aggressors and diminishing of contributions. Things like:
- holding men only meetings (so they can talk freely)
- asking the women to be 'nicer'
- not seeking contributions from women (even when at the level of males)
- suggesting that women in charge are not the right optics
- insisting on skirts and heels for women at work
- asking women to 'dial in' to meetings when the men are all together with beers and pizza
The list goes on. All of the above I have experience either directly or observed.
I've called it out several times and each time the impact was on me.
Women are partly to blame as well. Neither sex is reading business books written by women (unless they're about how to be more successful as a woman in the workforce).
Perhaps one way forward is for women to promote women - hey that's what the guys have been doing.
There is another form of sexism that is just as evil and widely practiced. It doesn't come with sexual advances but the sinister behaviors of exclusion, belittling, defense of aggressors and diminishing of contributions. Things like:
- holding men only meetings (so they can talk freely)
- asking the women to be 'nicer'
- not seeking contributions from women (even when at the level of males)
- suggesting that women in charge are not the right optics
- insisting on skirts and heels for women at work
- asking women to 'dial in' to meetings when the men are all together with beers and pizza
The list goes on. All of the above I have experience either directly or observed.
I've called it out several times and each time the impact was on me.
Women are partly to blame as well. Neither sex is reading business books written by women (unless they're about how to be more successful as a woman in the workforce).
Perhaps one way forward is for women to promote women - hey that's what the guys have been doing.
38
When took a CS class I two decades ago I had to share a computer and the male I shared with kept touch my hand by accident and reaching over me to as the mouse was shared. It took me a decade to realize he did it on purpose. Now when I work I have to be really careful. In theater computer settings for art the same thing still happens. Creepy.
6
A friend in the engineering side of the tech business left the field when she heard about "Aspbergers". She had thought that as more women came into the field, the sexist atmosphere would change. But once she saw how many men that she worked with appeared to have Aspbergers, she decided things would never change.
8
I congratulate these brave women for speaking out. The best weapon is for all of us to name names.
23
Why tolerate this? You could find an ambulance lawyer and sue sue sue! That is the only way these skin hounds will ever learn that in today's world women's rights matter. It's "hands off".
10
This story would be funny if it wasn't so annoying. I've been involved with several startups. Seeking first-round investment is a tiresome, humiliating process, involving a lot of groveling and self-debasement in front of people who you'd often rather punch in the face. It's a process that can make you question your business plan, your judgement, and your worth as a human being. It's brutally Darwinian. It's not for everyone, and it's definitely not for little snowflakes fresh from the Gender Studies department, thinking that the world should run according to Title IX.
15
As a woman in tech since 1981, I've seen it all. Written private placement papers, business plans, and helped boot strappers get multiple rounds of funding. Sure, it's brutal, but I doubt that male entrepreneurs get groped, kissed, and pressured to get naked in hotel rooms as part of the funding process. We have to be twice as smart, while fending off unacceptable behavior in a diplomatic manner. These women are not "little snowflakes," so cut the condescending comments. Walk in their shoes for a minute.
83
They'd like too !
1
These guys harass women because they know they can get away with it.
It might be just a game, but the time to stop playing it has come.
It might be just a game, but the time to stop playing it has come.
20
My deepest thanks to these inspiring women. It's about time! I'm 71 and long retired. When I was coming up, and got hit on, all I knew was to be flattered! Clearly I, like many of my peers, lacked faith in my own value, and in some sense was probably an enabler in this dynamic. Also clearly, the subjects of this article no longer suffer that lack of faith, and it's just lovely to read about their assertion of the contribution they have to make.
23
When I took a CS class two decades ago I had to share a computer and the male I shared with kept touching my hand by accident. He was reaching over me to share the mouse and keyboard. It took me a decade to realize he did it on purpose and it was harassment and prevented me from learning properly. Now when I work I have to be really careful. In theater tech computer work environments for art the same thing still happens. Creepy.
5
This is not about attraction, this is about intimidation and fear. Conflating the two is part of the problem.
42
In Sweden, this problem also exists. But being Swedes, they decided to do something about it, not merely legislatively, but baking it into the process of reviewing start-up grants. https://hbr.org/2017/05/we-recorded-vcs-conversations-and-analyzed-how-d...
We should do something similar in the U.S. Excerpt: :...given access to government venture capital decision-making meetings in Sweden and were able to observe the types of language that VCs used over a two-year period. One major thing stuck out: The language used to describe male and female entrepreneurs was radically different. And these differences have very real consequences for those seeking funding — and for society in general."
We should do something similar in the U.S. Excerpt: :...given access to government venture capital decision-making meetings in Sweden and were able to observe the types of language that VCs used over a two-year period. One major thing stuck out: The language used to describe male and female entrepreneurs was radically different. And these differences have very real consequences for those seeking funding — and for society in general."
27
So glad I'm out of the dating scene. Many of these stories relate detestable male behaviour, but, if I were 20 or 30 or 40, I would be terrified into inaction to demonstrate any kind of attraction to a fellow female coworker/colleague. Sorry to say, but I have been around the block on this and people generally complain only when they don't find the other person attractive, too. Just in my wife's university department of 50 faculty for instance, within the last decade, there have been up to five married couples that started out with one member being the professor, the other the student.
12
Haaaaaahahahahahaha. I'm sorry, I know you mean well. But to think that complaints generally happen because the other person is not attractive is so...right. Maybe not in the way you are implying.
There is a difference between pursuing mutual attraction, and persisting in an unrequited affection. Women and men have a right to say no to someone they aren't attracted to regardless of why. They have a right to say yes to someone. They have the right to ask someone out.
What is wrong is when the other party persists, or come at someone from a position of power implying a grade or funding or promotion or safety is at stake unless they say yes. Even if it's not explicitly stated...that implication can still be there.
And maybe it's good to 'feel terrified into inaction' when using your workplace as your dating pool.
There is a difference between pursuing mutual attraction, and persisting in an unrequited affection. Women and men have a right to say no to someone they aren't attracted to regardless of why. They have a right to say yes to someone. They have the right to ask someone out.
What is wrong is when the other party persists, or come at someone from a position of power implying a grade or funding or promotion or safety is at stake unless they say yes. Even if it's not explicitly stated...that implication can still be there.
And maybe it's good to 'feel terrified into inaction' when using your workplace as your dating pool.
8
The difference here is that harassment goes beyond flirtation or dating. Saying demeaning things in front of a group of women or groping a woman who has said she has a boyfriend is aggressive negative behavior. Stating that you are attracted to someone and would like to take them to dinner is respectful. Sounds like these women said no and were harassed for it.
Ironically, it's the same behavior you see in 6th grade boys. You tell them you aren't interested and then they dis you to all of their friends and tell you they weren't into you to begin with. Sounds like these "investors" have a lot of growing up to do.
Ironically, it's the same behavior you see in 6th grade boys. You tell them you aren't interested and then they dis you to all of their friends and tell you they weren't into you to begin with. Sounds like these "investors" have a lot of growing up to do.
4
No wonder so few women are majoring in Math and Computer Science. The clear message is that women are NOT welcome in Silicon Valley. As soon as the spigot of H1-B's is turned off, many of these companies will find themselves unable to recruit enough engineers and programers. If I was a Silicon Valley CEO I would immediately enact a zero tolerance policy for sexual harassment or other such misconduct. This will have a positive impact on company's recruiting and bottom line. Most importantly it's the right thing to do.
36
These stories about sexual harassment encountered by women while fundraising or looking for work in the tech industry is not just problematic for the attractive women who are being harassed. It is actually more problematic for the women that these investors and managers/directors find UNattractive. Why? Because it goes to show that many of them are only looking at women in a sexual way; and ultimately, they likely ignore the women they don't find pretty. The tech industry, because it is white and male-dominated, is biased toward "certain types of women." So, the same powerful man who will send flirtatious messages to a woman he finds attractive will ignore and discriminate against women he finds ugly or unappealing. Now, there's your real problem.
29
Good for the New York Times for naming names
27
During undergrad at a prominent CS college the two outgoing and flirty girls in my classes had shy soft-spoken boys do most of the programming assignments and homework for them. They'd shamelessly brag about using the boys outside of class.
6
Could the female students control the grades given to the boys if the boys refused? Could the girls fire the boys or affect their employment, promotions, or pay? Did the girls have authority or power over the boys other than their power of flirtyness? Do you also find boys who brag about their "conquests" (I believe the term is) shameless in their bragging over something for which you feel they should be ashamed?
24
You sound like you were jealous they weren't flirting with you. It's a well-known fact that males aggressively flirt with women more than women flirt with males. In order for you to accept the fact that you were rejected by these women and now you say that those other guys did their work?
Is this because it is unacceptable that the women are better than you or smarter? Or for them to chose another male?
There is no way of you proving that other men did these women's work besides another male telling you. You claim they said it - however that makes no sense.
This is mysogyny is in its purest form. Your words and your story reak of it - you are devaluing smart women in your classes in a far too common sexist strategy.
Is this because it is unacceptable that the women are better than you or smarter? Or for them to chose another male?
There is no way of you proving that other men did these women's work besides another male telling you. You claim they said it - however that makes no sense.
This is mysogyny is in its purest form. Your words and your story reak of it - you are devaluing smart women in your classes in a far too common sexist strategy.
14
No honey, I'm gay. They would gossip and brag to me because they thought I'd find it humorous (?) they were using/exploiting the "weak" and "wimpy" boys in class.
9
I am Facebook friends with two of the investors mentioned. I unfriended one immediately - his comment to NYT was nauseating. I decided to check out the other one on FB. He had re-posted his co-founder's public statement about his demotion. On his friend page, there were plenty of supportive comments from female co-founders. On the firm's public page, there were some negative comments. But, I didn't see any negative comments based on direct experience. And then there's the fact that co-founded a VC firm with woman - so, not a typical Bro VC. Moreover, their portfolio is incredibly diverse. So, I'm keeping that connection open.
7
This is NOT a new problem. The difference is that women now have some power where once power was exclusively a male prerogative. "Being a non white female founder" NEVER happened before recent times! The abused woman used to be a secretary and had no voice against her boss. I am a retired tech executive who proudly supports his daughters. At least now their voice might be heard but there is so much more that needs to change. I am hopeful but skeptical.
14
These women do themselves a disservice by choosing to appear bare legged, in shorts and casual clothing for this article. Rather, all three ought to have posed in business professional clothing. Women say they want to be accepted as professionals and peers while simultaneously choosing to participate in age old ways of competing: showing some skin. They have even chosen to do it for this article which is about the very acts photos like these encourage. Women who want to be treated equally should hide their sexuality (skin) in the business setting. It's always been accepted that women who stoop to short skirts and low cut blouses at work are not to be taken seriously. What has changed to make that untrue today, exactly? Magical thinking?
28
Women are people. They are not objects for the male gaze. Woman can wear whatever they want without an expectation of sexual harassment or your antiquated, misogynistic judgement.
7
Laura you do a disservice to all women with your words. You are a half the problem. No men in Silicon Valley wear business professional clothing. Stop blaming and shaming the victims. I don't see one low cut blouse so you're factually incorrect with whatever faulty argument you're trying to make. Two women are wearing skirts.
15
1. Not necessarily their professional wear, they are posing for this article
2. Tech generally encourages casual wear as appropriate for business
3. Ask yourself if you would react this way to a man in tech wearing casual shorts and a tshirt in a photo accompanying an article. Is that outrageous to you?
No woman/person deserves to be harassed and fend off advances in the workplace because of their clothing choices, their gender, or their appearance in general. None of these thing ha should be considered an invitation by people with financial and social capital to sexually pursue someone. Your comment is victim-blaming.
2. Tech generally encourages casual wear as appropriate for business
3. Ask yourself if you would react this way to a man in tech wearing casual shorts and a tshirt in a photo accompanying an article. Is that outrageous to you?
No woman/person deserves to be harassed and fend off advances in the workplace because of their clothing choices, their gender, or their appearance in general. None of these thing ha should be considered an invitation by people with financial and social capital to sexually pursue someone. Your comment is victim-blaming.
14
I am a man. But I just don't get it - what is it with these other men?? This is the 2010's, not the 1950's and 1960's. This behavior is totally inexcusable and totally unjustifiable. The women in the story and women like them, they could be someone's mother, sister, daughter. Definitely might have been my daughter.
And don't you dare try to tell me that the president does it so it must be OK.
And don't you dare try to tell me that the president does it so it must be OK.
22
The women in the story and women like them....they're somebody. Not defined by their male relatives.
4
What?? This is different from college, high school, rap concerts, the entire entertainment industry, athletics, men and women, &ct.?
3
Why does this story bother me? Is it ONLY the content: that some women have been propositioned by some men in exchange for career advancement? That sex is a transactional tool in society for some, unmediated by morality? That power emboldens some to furtively engage in behavior that crosses a moral boundary? That my daughters risk being placed in an untenable situation by engaging in the workplace?
Or is it the sense that the article also attempts to apply a generalized morality play, that, not some, but rather “men” have power and use it against “powerless women” to cajole them into violating their principles at the cost of their livelihood. A play on the helpless, virtuous victim seeking respite, while held under the power of a monster. Generalization in this manner often leads to demonization. The term “Culture” is used as a catch phrase to incorporate this generalization: “rape-culture”, “Silicon Valley culture”. This creation of meme’s to rapidly spread a message, avoiding any complexity but generating a visceral response, and demanding action, is unfortunately commonplace in our society. Advocacy groups, not opposed to using “political truths”, more often then not, drive it. This entanglement of a serious issue, with the suspicion of it being driven by advocacy groups, gives me pause.
People in general seek a fair society. Freedom from repressive acts or dispersions; freedom from harassment or freedom from being falsely portrayed in a negative light.
Or is it the sense that the article also attempts to apply a generalized morality play, that, not some, but rather “men” have power and use it against “powerless women” to cajole them into violating their principles at the cost of their livelihood. A play on the helpless, virtuous victim seeking respite, while held under the power of a monster. Generalization in this manner often leads to demonization. The term “Culture” is used as a catch phrase to incorporate this generalization: “rape-culture”, “Silicon Valley culture”. This creation of meme’s to rapidly spread a message, avoiding any complexity but generating a visceral response, and demanding action, is unfortunately commonplace in our society. Advocacy groups, not opposed to using “political truths”, more often then not, drive it. This entanglement of a serious issue, with the suspicion of it being driven by advocacy groups, gives me pause.
People in general seek a fair society. Freedom from repressive acts or dispersions; freedom from harassment or freedom from being falsely portrayed in a negative light.
9
Typo: aspersions, not dispersions.
2
Lawsuits? Apologies? Decency Pledges?
Weak responses -- each and every one of these PREDATORS and the firms that look the other way/enable them should face criminal charges. Period.
Imagine if someone did this to your wife. Your mother. Or your daughter.
Weak responses -- each and every one of these PREDATORS and the firms that look the other way/enable them should face criminal charges. Period.
Imagine if someone did this to your wife. Your mother. Or your daughter.
10
It's not just the sexual harassment (which is rampant) it's a very male culture that I left when my daughter was young because it was cool (required) to work late every night and goof around playing multi-user video games during the day, so nothing was ever not hopelessly behind schedule.
10
What will stop this is if every woman who is treated badly goes public. I know it threatens their employment but if men see that abusive behavior will not be tolerated, perhaps we can make some progress.
13
It is disgusting and incredibly disappointing that these men haven't evolved yet. I wish I could shake hands with all the women that courageously speak out. These issues need to be highlighted in order to educate the ignorant.
15
I would never think of women as mere sex objects. But my aren't those ladies in the picture nice looking? An article criticizing men acting as men coupled with a picture of women that is sexually provocative is what we call a mixed message. The obvious truth is that there will always be a sexual element in relations between men and women. Sometimes this is to a woman's detriment. Sometimes a woman exploits this in a highly skilled manner. But that's just how it is. It makes life interesting. It's hardly the worst thing in the world.
7
And if one of the women pictured here was your daughter, wife, sister? Would you be going on about how attractive they are in your effort to absolve their male harassers? Your tacit approval of this "boys will be boys" behavior is as culpable as the harassement itself.
24
Men are attired casually in this environment.
Why can't women do the same?
Why can't women do the same?
16
some see nothing wrong with saying to a woman, "of course you won, you're a babe," if they would just switch it around and realize that if they said this to a man.....they never would say it to a man, that's the thing and doing this in a personal situation made me finally realize that it's absolutely not okay. I'm a sixty eight year old woman who is still learning!
6
It could also be that these are bitter women unable to spring forth only Silicon Valley to blame looking for some entrepreneur money. Go somewhere new and start afresh. Simple.
3
I saw a lot of this behavior first-hand during 20 years in and around Silicon Valley.
Many quite normal guys expect the fruits of their success include not just the hot car and the stock options, but women as well.
In some countries, hosting industrial companies actually supply male visitors with well-coiffed, intelligent 'escorts' as a matter of course, the details depending on the guest's scruples. I have seen this. Here we are more subtle. I have seen senior executives of Oracle enter the guest rooms of the Sofitel across the lagoon midday with women -- always comely, always young -- whom work for them as direct reports. These seem to be wholly consensual relationships.
Many guys seem to take these attentions for granted, assuming there's always willing consent. When there isn't, they lack the personal skills (and imho the character) to handle it well. Sometimes they are affronted. Aren't these the rules? Everything, everyone around them has always said so.
Of course none of this is an excuse. But it's important if we are to overcome it, to recognize this is something deep-rooted in our business culture, and practiced by many men who don't think there is anything especially wrong with it. Larry Ellison has explicitly said so. The crass, coercive ones are simply the outliers. It reflects a sexual dynamic that's all over the society, but like everything else gets amped up around so much money and power.
Many quite normal guys expect the fruits of their success include not just the hot car and the stock options, but women as well.
In some countries, hosting industrial companies actually supply male visitors with well-coiffed, intelligent 'escorts' as a matter of course, the details depending on the guest's scruples. I have seen this. Here we are more subtle. I have seen senior executives of Oracle enter the guest rooms of the Sofitel across the lagoon midday with women -- always comely, always young -- whom work for them as direct reports. These seem to be wholly consensual relationships.
Many guys seem to take these attentions for granted, assuming there's always willing consent. When there isn't, they lack the personal skills (and imho the character) to handle it well. Sometimes they are affronted. Aren't these the rules? Everything, everyone around them has always said so.
Of course none of this is an excuse. But it's important if we are to overcome it, to recognize this is something deep-rooted in our business culture, and practiced by many men who don't think there is anything especially wrong with it. Larry Ellison has explicitly said so. The crass, coercive ones are simply the outliers. It reflects a sexual dynamic that's all over the society, but like everything else gets amped up around so much money and power.
9
Video/audio record all interviews. Only fear of being outed will keep guys like this in line.
14
I am grateful to these brave women who have the courage to speak out about the sick behavior of these pigs in power positions. It's the only way this behavior is ever going to become unacceptable in our culture. Like the overt racism which took decades to become unacceptable throughout most of our culture, it's a good start.
6
Thank you, NYT for this article! Finally! I worked in SV startups for 20 years. I heard the line, "I don't know whether to date you or hire you" several times. I had an IP deal with a Fortune 500 company that "inexplicably" disappeared when a 23-year-old male colleague put up pornographic Post-It notes of me on an office wall. Yes, this happens in many sectors, but there's an appreciable loss when it happens in SV/VC culture: many of these women have rigorously vetted ideas that could disrupt industry for the betterment of society and the planet. I teach now and I see young women who are fully committed to creating positive change, who are silenced once they leave school because of this type of daily sexism. It wears one down.
21
It is a fact that primitive instincts will prevail...I know that that is disheartening...but, it is almost impossible to change the human brain...I am not making excuses...rape on college campuses, harassment of female officers, Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky, FOX news and these examples all make the facts rather stark...to the degree that we have human to human interactions these issues will be present...The percentages surprisingly are smaller than one would think, but they are there. I think the sooner we realize that and make appropriate adjustments to our expectations and how we police and punish this behavior the better off we will be. Moreover, these stories are themselves biased. We never hear of women (and men for that matter) that are propositioned by a VC and accept the offer and create great companies and live happily ever after. What about those people? Do they exist? The impact in all probability will be to reduce opportunities for female entrepreneurs instead of increasing them.
3
I do not regard these incidents as a result of "primitive instincts." They are a result of abuse of power.
Men certainly have plenty of opportunities to exercise their primitive instincts outside of the work place
Men certainly have plenty of opportunities to exercise their primitive instincts outside of the work place
16
Nothing new here. Women in business are treated like sex objects and 2nd class people in all organizations. It's wrong, and the men know its wrong but they have the power to get away with it.
14
These are the mealy-mouthed apologies of corporations and individuals whose PR directors and lawyers told them to say something that sounds socially responsible. Men need to challenge the behavior of these cretins when they see it and not laugh it off. We need banks and VC firms who will commit to funding women with great ideas with money equal to the amounts given to men while treating them as the equals that they are.
Guys -- don't any of you have mothers? Sisters? Would you want them treated that way? So why is it ok when you pull this garbage?
Guys -- don't any of you have mothers? Sisters? Would you want them treated that way? So why is it ok when you pull this garbage?
10
Look, these are exceedingly unattractive men physically who's only attribute is their financial power. (remind anyone of someone else?). Nothing will ever change because 'power corrupts' and Silicon Valley is one of the centers of power and thus corruption. Did we think those nerds were going to stay mute once they accumulated power and wealth? NOT!!!
Best thing women can do is promote 'harsh laws' which define what 'is is' and what isn't appropriate. With large fines. Perhaps 90% net worth fines not some meaningless million dollar fines.
Best thing women can do is promote 'harsh laws' which define what 'is is' and what isn't appropriate. With large fines. Perhaps 90% net worth fines not some meaningless million dollar fines.
8
"Rich, 'Masters of the Universe' types put the make on good looking women. News at 10!"
4
In one instance cited here, a VC guy gave a start-up woman 25 grand of his own money. Not company money. THAT is not an investment. That's a gift, like a man gives to a kept woman/sugar baby. It's not on the company books. It's personal and private. Also, 25 grand isn't enough for business cards or office toilet paper. If his company had invested 20 million of venture capital, It would be ENTIRELY different. The woman involved should have refused the money, because it was a personal gift and not company investment. Gifts like that come with strings attached.
Once, I went on an online date with a woman who told me about how a mafia guy in Brooklyn accidentally spilled coffee on her skirt at a dog run. The guy apologized profusely and pulled a couple hundred in twenties out of his wallet and offered them to her for dry cleaning or a new skirt of whatever. She declined the offer. She knew if she took the money, she'd be expected to have dinner with him.
Once, I went on an online date with a woman who told me about how a mafia guy in Brooklyn accidentally spilled coffee on her skirt at a dog run. The guy apologized profusely and pulled a couple hundred in twenties out of his wallet and offered them to her for dry cleaning or a new skirt of whatever. She declined the offer. She knew if she took the money, she'd be expected to have dinner with him.
3
Actually, that's called "angel investing" and it's an extremely common method of fund raising in SV.
5
that small amount? really? then I'm wrong. To me, 25 grand is a small amount. I was focusing mostly on the size of the gift. I was distinguishing between gift and investment based on amount.
1
Goes without saying, the behaviour of a lot of men is disgusting. You know what else is shameful? The women who do use their "charm" to try and advance their careers. We all need to change, men and women. Parents, educate your children to not prey on other people, in any way. It's not "flirting", it's inappropriate behaviour in the workplace and it only reinforces patriarchy.
9
This is sick sick sick! The "apologies" are deaf to the ear and insincere at best. These investors think they're so important with all their money and all their power. It is disgusting. Deep down they're just little men with no real meaning to their lives and no idea what true happiness and love is.
5
So beware wives and partners, if your male is successful or in a position of supervision or power, they could easily be doing just this. Do you think Melania has any doubts?
5
And beware men - your woman could be easily coming on to such powerful men. I've seen how women shred their dignity for a chance for 'validation' from the top dog. Many women, married women, are positively Pavlovian around powerful men.
6
It would be useful if one day SJWs used statistics because the rates of harassment define how bad any particular industry is. Domestic abuse between couples remains the primary source of sexual violence in America. That transcends any industrial workplace sexual violence and by a long long shot. But since this is about the supposedly rampant rape culture in Silicon Valley why not give us a breakdown of reported harassment per sector? Ex: Miliary, various private industry sectors, government, public sector etc.
2
Since my first summer internship in college I've witnessed female peers eagerly flirt with bosses, wear revealing clothing to the office, even hookup and date bosses ... and all were rewarded for their efforts. Must be nice to be able to play both sides.
14
There is a vast difference between what is being discussed here and your example. In your example, the women and men are both equally agreeable to the arrangement.
What is being described in the article is not a mutual agreement, but tyranny and blackmail.
What is being described in the article is not a mutual agreement, but tyranny and blackmail.
16
Francis- since my first job, I've seen bitter men like you resent anyone and everyone who is smarter and more capable than them. Especially if those people are female. Stop blaming others for your inadequacies.
16
Oh golly! You mean this stuff happens with rich people, too?!
5
This predatory behavior starts in middle and high school. I've witnessed privileged white male students -- many of whom come from upper middle class backgrounds -- often have their anti-social antics written off by family, teachers, coaches, and administrators as just youthful shenanigans and "boys being boys." I taught English in independent schools for years and found it disturbing how coddled and entitled they can be, the boundaries around them too loose and malleable. Once, when I was having an awful time with a group of 9th grade boys who insisted on disrespecting me (much of which I felt was grounded in my being a young black female teacher), I sought counsel from a middle-aged white male teacher, hoping he had strategies to help. "Don't worry about them, they're harmless," he said. "They're good kids, just dealing with too much testosterone, you know?" I was shocked. No, I didn't know. I was two seconds away from asking, "So, it'd be understandable then if I just smacked them with a book and blamed it on my period, right?" But like these ladies, I had to go along with it because I needed my job. A terrible trade off, stomaching abuse to survive, to keep the bills paid. Sadly, I ended up taking a stress leave and resigned my position before the school year concluded; it was the worst year of my career.
18
That's the kind of education our current president received
8
So we learned that men in tech can be boorish and rude and offensive. We confirmed that this behavior is abhorrent and has long lasting affects on the women singled out. Perhaps the next article can be about waitresses or nannies or women who recently arrived in this country unable to speak English. Perhaps that article would name names as well. If this is what men do to educated women powerful in their own right what must be occurring where the imbalance in power is enormous?
13
Very sad. Mr. Trump isn't so unrepresentative of the culture as we would wish. And it won't make America great again.
6
The problem is pervasive. Always has been and will continue to be as long as men get away with it. I am shocked that these young, smart, entrepreneurial women feel like they have to endure sexual harassment or they won't get their financing. We are our own worst enemies by not pushing back against against egregious behavior. These women have a choice. Push back and move on.
2
"I am shocked that these young, smart, entrepreneurial women feel like they have to endure sexual harassment or they won't get their financing."
They don't just "feel" that way; this is the reality
They don't just "feel" that way; this is the reality
7
Sexual harassment was beginning to be an open issue 35 years ago and a friend was an executive secretary for a mega manager in a large US sales organization where sexual tension is part of the office environment because emotional energy drives presentations and sales. People were just beginning to parse what constitutes harassment. There were many norms. From prickly puritancial to the opposite extreme. In between is family. How does one handle a propostion? It could be downright confusing. My friend described an encounter when a senior manager suggested she join him at his summer house for the weekend. She responded with warmly by describing how delightful it would be to meet his wife and children (whose names she cheerfully added). Her delicate manner reminded him of his family responsibilities and his spontaneous impulse subsided. Mutual respect increased. She was protecting him from himself.
She was highly respected & loved for her tact and cheerfulness. A marvelous person.
Our emphasis on STEM, MBAs, and competition seems to overshadow character development and families; citizenship and mutual obligation. In the absence of sensitivity and consideration, it's easy to make fools of ourselves. The oldest book in the World, the Instruction of Ptah-Hotep, addressed the problem 5,000 years ago. I recall one of its aphorisms: "Infidelity is like carryng hot coals in a wicker basket."
There are many stories.
We always treated our daughter as an honored guest in our home.
She was highly respected & loved for her tact and cheerfulness. A marvelous person.
Our emphasis on STEM, MBAs, and competition seems to overshadow character development and families; citizenship and mutual obligation. In the absence of sensitivity and consideration, it's easy to make fools of ourselves. The oldest book in the World, the Instruction of Ptah-Hotep, addressed the problem 5,000 years ago. I recall one of its aphorisms: "Infidelity is like carryng hot coals in a wicker basket."
There are many stories.
We always treated our daughter as an honored guest in our home.
2
" How does one handle a propostion? "
Your story about how your friend tells with the situation is touching, but the point is one should not have to "handle a preposition"
Your story about how your friend tells with the situation is touching, but the point is one should not have to "handle a preposition"
7
"She responded with warmly by describing how delightful it would be to meet his wife and children (whose names she cheerfully added). Her delicate manner reminded him of his family responsibilities and his spontaneous impulse subsided. Mutual respect increased. She was protecting him from himself.
She was highly respected & loved for her tact and cheerfulness. A marvelous person."
Not only is this woman made responsible for dealing with the discomfort this manager's inappropriate and disrespectful proposition has caused her, but also the discomfort her manager has caused himself. Our society still teaches women to assume the responsibility of damage control in these situations — women are often forced to bear the full burden of damage control for the very offenses being committed against them. As you explain, "She was protecting him from himself" — even as he was disrespecting her. That she had to do this isn't something worth celebrating, even if she did manage to some impressive social acrobatics in the process. When men stumble like this, women must let them take the fall.
She was highly respected & loved for her tact and cheerfulness. A marvelous person."
Not only is this woman made responsible for dealing with the discomfort this manager's inappropriate and disrespectful proposition has caused her, but also the discomfort her manager has caused himself. Our society still teaches women to assume the responsibility of damage control in these situations — women are often forced to bear the full burden of damage control for the very offenses being committed against them. As you explain, "She was protecting him from himself" — even as he was disrespecting her. That she had to do this isn't something worth celebrating, even if she did manage to some impressive social acrobatics in the process. When men stumble like this, women must let them take the fall.
8
It is incalculable the advances in science and arts and humanity which will never be seen from woman stopping their professions or backing away from the fight (as why keep fighting sometimes) OR from the purveying atmosphere of certain men in power.
I grew up with an amazing father and mother and felt empowered but I realize that is a bubble and life is not the way it is in the big world. Here's to the great men out there-- you hold a big key. And to the women brave enough to stay in the fight and speak up -- in the boardroom and courtroom and even on the internet where you must have courage as a woman... I thank you too.
I grew up with an amazing father and mother and felt empowered but I realize that is a bubble and life is not the way it is in the big world. Here's to the great men out there-- you hold a big key. And to the women brave enough to stay in the fight and speak up -- in the boardroom and courtroom and even on the internet where you must have courage as a woman... I thank you too.
4
Amazing how many commenters blame attractive women for attracting attention.
"Don't distract me with your beauty," they seem to be saying. "It confuses me and I don't know how to behave!"
"Don't distract me with your beauty," they seem to be saying. "It confuses me and I don't know how to behave!"
78
There is a solution. GOOD MEN, please be strong leaders, and speak up when you hear other men say something sexist.
As a white person, if I hear another white person make a racist remark, even if there are no racial minorities present, I say something, to make clear that comment will cost you social status. It's the same thing here.
This is not a "women's problem." This a crisis of male leadership. GOOD MEN, your voices have a special ring here. Please speak up.
As a white person, if I hear another white person make a racist remark, even if there are no racial minorities present, I say something, to make clear that comment will cost you social status. It's the same thing here.
This is not a "women's problem." This a crisis of male leadership. GOOD MEN, your voices have a special ring here. Please speak up.
19
Kudos to these courageous women for telling their stories and naming names. It's about time!
All of the men mentioned are married with children. I'm so sorry those women and their children have to confront these personal insults to their trust and love..
All of the men mentioned are married with children. I'm so sorry those women and their children have to confront these personal insults to their trust and love..
8
I'm a software developer and the women in my work area talk for the first and last hour of the work day. They make more then I do (they like to brag) because the average needs to be equal (less women's then men's). I literally (in the classic sense) work 4 hours more (because I stay for 10 hours a day and not socialize) than them and they make more. It's all I can do to not scream at them every day.
6
Most women I know get more accomplished in half the time, so they're still ahead of you
5
dude it sounds like you're really inefficient and require 10 hours to get done what they can finish in 6 plus they actually possess interpersonal skills
9
Blaming women for your own inadequacies. Does it ever get tiring not taking responsibility for yourself, Oliver?
2
And a recent East cost experience...being told I "would not be able to keep up wit the guys" by Hiring Manager only enables the problem to persist. I am experienced, competent, adaptable, flexible, and investing a career change this time.
2
The tech problem is broader and deeper than this.
For instance, I personally know of instances in which tech industry women were not given executive promotions that they deserved because they were pregnant. In other words, if the executives who were responsible for making the promotion learned of the pregnancy (and in one case it was made public by a man competing for the same promotion), then the woman was not promoted.
For instance, I personally know of instances in which tech industry women were not given executive promotions that they deserved because they were pregnant. In other words, if the executives who were responsible for making the promotion learned of the pregnancy (and in one case it was made public by a man competing for the same promotion), then the woman was not promoted.
10
It's not just women in tech who are harassed. I worked in biological and pharmaceutical research for years. Men feel perfectly free to handle women, to touch us, to ogle us, to treat us like we're goods in a marketplace and then, when confronted about it, lie or deny or blame us. It starts when we're children. We're expected, as girls, to follow, to flirt, to dress in clothes that are revealing, and to allow boys to touch us. Notice who in America takes the fall for unplanned pregnancy. Notice who is penalized for having premarital sex. Notice who is penalized for being a single parent. Not the men.
On the job watch who is ignored or interrupted. In politics, watch who is characterized as a screamer, or whose clothing is criticized, or who is supposed to act polite. it's not the men. I've been working for over 30 years. During these years I was never mentored, never offered the opportunities a male in my line of work would have been offered. I was told to get married, to have children, to shut up, to act like a lady, to stop whining. I've been told I have a great body. That's nice but it has nothing to do with my job since I'm not a model.
The culture of harassment will continue until Americans decide that it can't. It has nothing do with political correctness. Ending it has to do with respecting what each person can bring to the workplace no matter what gender they are. Women are as deserving of courtesy and respect as men.
On the job watch who is ignored or interrupted. In politics, watch who is characterized as a screamer, or whose clothing is criticized, or who is supposed to act polite. it's not the men. I've been working for over 30 years. During these years I was never mentored, never offered the opportunities a male in my line of work would have been offered. I was told to get married, to have children, to shut up, to act like a lady, to stop whining. I've been told I have a great body. That's nice but it has nothing to do with my job since I'm not a model.
The culture of harassment will continue until Americans decide that it can't. It has nothing do with political correctness. Ending it has to do with respecting what each person can bring to the workplace no matter what gender they are. Women are as deserving of courtesy and respect as men.
26
A recent study done by Prof Sahil Raina at the Univ of Alberta https://ssrn.com/abstract=2846047 shows that "VC gender composition has contributed strongly to the performance gap between female- and male-led startups, which could deter women from leading VC-financed projects and lower their participation." Clearly, the harassment faced by women in workplaces is all pervasive as it exists at various levels, from VC funding to sexual advances and innuendos. Raina's research could be groundbreaking as it could prove that discriminatory practices exist in VC funding for Women Lead startups!
8
Most humans grew up with no expectation of fairness in any context; this assumption of entitlement, be it access to food, healthcare, respect, safety, or anything else are all modern constructs imagined, typically, by those with the most resources, by those who have the means and freedom and time to ponder such ideals. We should all endeavor to achieve and maintain the best in our individual potentials. Unfortunately, many of our worst instincts, as defined in this current society, are the same instincts that served us so well for many thousands of millennia. These behaviors are innate, and for some of us, require continuous self-awareness and self-control to keep at bay. This article and the comments that follow it demonstrate the breadth of views, the complexity of human relationships, and the difficulty in reconciling the disparity in expectations we have for each other. All human behaviors are natural, regardless of how they make us feel, regardless of where they fall on the spectrum of acceptability, of ugliness, of beauty. There is no solution to that which we have no control over; keeping the dialogue open, the mind open, and vitriol to a minimum is one way to combat the worst of our natures. Unfortunately, men seem to house the worst of our natures. Perhaps it's because of our crippled Y-chromosome!
4
I cannot fathom the notion that such offensive behavior is the only reason or the main reason the technology field is dominated by men. It happens, for whatever reasons, long before that when the women choose a major in college.
Women have traditionally gravitated more to the Arts and Humanities than Math and Science, but I think that has begun to change and this trend will continue. The more that woman migrate to these disciplines, the more this bad behavior will subside.
Women have traditionally gravitated more to the Arts and Humanities than Math and Science, but I think that has begun to change and this trend will continue. The more that woman migrate to these disciplines, the more this bad behavior will subside.
2
You have the causation and the result backwards.
Ever consider, in your sexist brain, that women don't "gravitate" toward Math and Science because they know very well, as do you, that they will encounter this kind of treatment if they get out of the "female box," and try to make real money?
Ever consider, in your sexist brain, that women don't "gravitate" toward Math and Science because they know very well, as do you, that they will encounter this kind of treatment if they get out of the "female box," and try to make real money?
6
Your inability to fathom something says more about you than it does about the problem.
You've been watching this happen your entire life and still you can't see it.
It's YOU.
You've been watching this happen your entire life and still you can't see it.
It's YOU.
I suspect this problem is not unique to the tech industry. People like Donald Trump and Bill O'Reilly exist in all industries. Beware people with power.
6
As a professional woman who worked in the technology field, I can say that this culture exists because it has permission to exist. I worked for a Fortune 100's subsidiary whose newly appointed CEO was committed to a harassment-free workplace. We, of course, took this commitment with a grain of salt. Then, 3 weeks into his term, he fired the president because of an inappropriate remark he made about a women executive in a meeting. That was all it took. The message was clear and direct and had a chilling effect on harassment. That behavior was history.
54
A general lack of civility is pervasive. As a highly-qualified African American male in tech of many years, I too have experienced systematic attempts at exclusion through shameful, embarrassing, and humiliating comments and behavior in professional settings.
I very much appreciate women heroically coming forward with their stories because I believe that it will move us forward toward learning to respect and appreciate one another.
I very much appreciate women heroically coming forward with their stories because I believe that it will move us forward toward learning to respect and appreciate one another.
29
With due respect to problems of unequal weighting between the sexes in tech as well as many industries, it appears to me that many of the alleged abuses were flirtations. It's not a crime, to my knowledge, for a male make a polite advance (i.e. non-Trumpian). Some of the people quoted offer the impression that many Millenial women have not learned to say "no", perhaps with a polite smile. If the advance continues, the "no" needs to become more firm. If your business idea is not funded, but the suitor finds you intelligent, capable and attractive, and says so, please be careful to separate the business decision from a personal attraction. Learning to give and take rejection is a tough but necessary process in maturation.
8
"Flirtations" initiated by a person who a woman works for is a power play. It is wrong. Women should not have to dael with it in the workplace or anywhere else.
9
So flirtations or hitting on a female who is seeking a job or funding is OK? And if she rebuffs the flirts it's now ok to drop her for someone who will cooperate? Really?
10
Blame the victim. Typical. Would YOU be ok with a strange woman coming up and groping your private parts in a business meeting? If not, then it's not ok when genders are reversed. Period.
5
Oh, the generalities. Leave it to a story like this to inspire commenters, mostly women, to declare that every woman who has worked with, or otherwise had to interact with, powerful men have experienced sexual harassment, and that it is not about the sex, it's about power. No, ladies, only the sexually attractive have this experience, and it is more about the sex than the power. Not to defend any of the deplorable conduct described in this article, but it is indisputable that attractive people -- whether men or women -- have more opportunities than unattractive people, and with those opportunities come some downsides. It's a law of nature. Who will deny that everyone is generally and naturally sexually attracted to attractive people of the opposite sex (if heterosexual) or the same sex (if homosexual), and not so much to those who are not attractive? It is also true that biologically, men are, and always have been expected to be, the sexual aggressors. Many men have learned to tame those instincts but some have not. It's good that this issue is being aired, but let's acknowledge that attractive people are simply having to deal with some of the negatives that offset the advantages of being attractive.
10
So this makes it right or even excusable? Blame the victim.
3
Determining the line between sincere, spontaneous, innocent flattery and impolite erotic presumption can be difficult. If ever there were a gray area.... How to solve this problem, to know precisely where that line should be drawn? There is no solution. Personal relations between the sexes occur in a state of pure anarchy, always have, always will, so--good luck to one and all!
This is not true. Research has shown that it is not the most attractive, but the weaker, but still threatening, outside-the-female-box aspiring woman who is harassed. It's not about being sexy. It's about a man having something you need that he controls; he wants to threaten you with the retaliation of withholding that thing you need that he has to humiliate you into serving him sexually as the price you must pay to get what others get just because they deserve it.
15
I asked several straight male friends how they would react to the sexual overtures, acts or comments these women cite.
Most had experienced some forms of sexual overtures from female colleagues, including Managers. The expressed desire for sex were clear, though were not so explicit as, "I want to have sex with you." Some offers included touching.
My "poll subjects" had near identical reactions.
Had any such offers included a threat to their standing at the company, they would have been angry; but not hurt, humiliated or self-questioning.
Even if so threatened, several would consider or actually have sex with the woman.
Though note: whether they found the woman attractive was an important consideration for all.
But, absent a threat to their professional standing, and conditional upon the woman's attractiveness to them, all would be flattered, happy, and feel an enhanced self-image.
Three of the four friends who were married or in a relationship, would have declined; one would consider having sex.
Of the single "poll subjects", one would decline because he would not want such a relationship at work.
All others would have had sex, and in fact, those who had experienced such a circumstance arising at work, had done just that.
Those who had not experienced such occurrences envied those who had.
In all cases, unless their job status was explicitly threatened, they found the idea of their feeling hurt, outraged, indignant, ashamed, etc, incomprehensible.
Most had experienced some forms of sexual overtures from female colleagues, including Managers. The expressed desire for sex were clear, though were not so explicit as, "I want to have sex with you." Some offers included touching.
My "poll subjects" had near identical reactions.
Had any such offers included a threat to their standing at the company, they would have been angry; but not hurt, humiliated or self-questioning.
Even if so threatened, several would consider or actually have sex with the woman.
Though note: whether they found the woman attractive was an important consideration for all.
But, absent a threat to their professional standing, and conditional upon the woman's attractiveness to them, all would be flattered, happy, and feel an enhanced self-image.
Three of the four friends who were married or in a relationship, would have declined; one would consider having sex.
Of the single "poll subjects", one would decline because he would not want such a relationship at work.
All others would have had sex, and in fact, those who had experienced such a circumstance arising at work, had done just that.
Those who had not experienced such occurrences envied those who had.
In all cases, unless their job status was explicitly threatened, they found the idea of their feeling hurt, outraged, indignant, ashamed, etc, incomprehensible.
8
Look, it's not "harassment" if you're not being threatened.
The threat is assumed, because that's what makes it harassment.
You are confusing apples and oranges.
Of COURSE the women were being subtly threatened with the withholding of the object the man controlled that they needed/deserved/would have received without the sexual demand if they were male.
If not, there is no power dynamic and there is no sexual harassment and, of course, it goes without saying that there is no problem.
The threat is assumed, because that's what makes it harassment.
You are confusing apples and oranges.
Of COURSE the women were being subtly threatened with the withholding of the object the man controlled that they needed/deserved/would have received without the sexual demand if they were male.
If not, there is no power dynamic and there is no sexual harassment and, of course, it goes without saying that there is no problem.
6
So what. These women were explicitly not interested in having sex with these men and the men continued to harass them. For a woman to have sex she risks disease, pregnancy, slut shaming and destructive gossip. For what?
5
Ask these straight guys how good they would feel about those propositions if they came from a male boss or co-worker, instead of a female one. Get it now?
9
This article is excellent because it calls-out specific people, and thus might directly cause some needed change. This article is trouble, though, because it sentences these same people in the court of public opinion. The difficulty created for the women in this article, and any other article like it, is that when you make a public accusation of a person you open yourself up to liable lawsuits. Lawsuits are expensive, even for the 'winner', in time and money. We see here speaking, thus, only the women who can afford to tell the truth, and that is the sad fact of our justice system. We are, as a society, unfair; it is a fundamental structure of US governance. We can clean up this mess of discrimination and harassment one article at a time, but until there is an accessible justice system, we're doing laundry by hand, over and over again. Nice article. See you tomorrow for another one.
5
More workers need to "accidentally" turn their smartphones on and record the incident. In court a picture with sound is worth a thousand denials.
8
I haven't read all 761 comments, but have not seen any reference to medicine/health care. My first encounter (1955) was as a very young nurse in my first job. I was being backed into a corner in a room away from regular traffic by the chief of orthopedic surgery. The nursing supervisor, a very experienced and savvy woman came tap-tapping down the hall. He backed off very quickly and began making comments about the ortho supplies stored in that room. My first experience with male inappropriate behavior but definitely not the last.
I was so grateful for the supervisor's "intervention" that day.
I was so grateful for the supervisor's "intervention" that day.
26
Women are schooled from an early age to seek male approval for being pretty, undemanding, in awe or a little frightened as well as understanding about inappropriate-to-criminal male sexual behavior from men their own age or much older, even relatives; they are schooled to remain silent or suffer physical danger, shame, blame, exclusion, and poverty. They are taught to ignore as much as possible, and act as though complete strangers aren't catcalling in the street, making sexual innuendos at work and school, or grabbing at them on trains, etc. These behaviors are exhausting and oppressive. Women are supposed to seek relief in marriage and life-long dependence. However, the marriage plot is expiring like a dead elephant; getting married is no longer the goal of a woman's life if she has any imagination. As more women get higher education degrees and expertise across a range of disciplines, the tension between the old ways and higher expectations becomes more untenable. Women will become true competitors when they have more enterprises, better access to capital, more representation in government, and better public health, education, and child care policies. If men want to work collaboratively with women, they too have to speak up and educate their sons to be decent people. Many do, but many must also be poor role models for their sons, or this cruelty wouldn't continue.
36
Brilliant, Dr. Conde.
3
The old aphorism about power corrupting remains a truism, be it about about money, gender, race, religion.
5
Well, when we have the POTUS leading the way, why aren't the VCs getting a pass too ?
13
Women are strong and powerful as men! And yet, women are vulnerable victims who fold like flowers. Confusing! IMO the solution is to avoid any business dealings with females at all. If you don't meet with them or hire them, they can't sue you. Simple!
7
If you have learned to conduct yourself as a gentleman should, you will not need to worry about female co-workers. However, if you are still worried, don't get alone with a woman in a circumstance that could be misunderstood - have others around you as chaperones (or witnesses).
Or if this is all too confusing and frightening for you, you could just join a monastery in Tibet or someplace........
Or if this is all too confusing and frightening for you, you could just join a monastery in Tibet or someplace........
9
And you consider yourself a decent human being??
Ridiculous!
Ridiculous!
4
Yes
3
It would be better to have no rules other than banning physical assault. If you don't like it, male or female, then leave.
3
but this is what happens when society sets the rules to be that inappropriate behavior is anything that hurts someone's feelings.
1
Maybe the NRA should take up these women's cause. Reading all these stories just makes me feel so hopeless. Let's hear more success stories. I think the Uber harassment story is a success story in a way, even though she left the company, because it resulted in a lot of firings and shake-ups.
Another useful story type would be women who outwitted or turned the tables on their harassers. I mean… what the heck do you say in the moment when it's your mentor coming on to you? Why do we always need to go crying to the authorities as our first and only option? It has to start with us first – THEN we go to authorities, or the press, or getting the light on it as well.
I would also like to hear people like Cheryl Sandberg speaking up more about this instead of just telling us all to "lean in".
Another useful story type would be women who outwitted or turned the tables on their harassers. I mean… what the heck do you say in the moment when it's your mentor coming on to you? Why do we always need to go crying to the authorities as our first and only option? It has to start with us first – THEN we go to authorities, or the press, or getting the light on it as well.
I would also like to hear people like Cheryl Sandberg speaking up more about this instead of just telling us all to "lean in".
7
The problem is indeed pervasive, across all fields and specialties and generations, and it is both emotionally and professionally damaging to women. If I were to enumerate my own experiences over a lifetime, I'd exceed the word requirement. I completely understand the embarrassment one feels, the fear of speaking out only to be told you've misunderstood or you're making a false accusation. This is why many women just suck it up and keep moving forward. The strength it takes to speak out is tremendous. The consequences for truth telling can range from public shaming and embarrassment to loss of promotions and even your job! Think back to Anita Hill. I remember watching her and thinking, these men are going to eat you alive, and you are so much smarter, reflective, and better than they are! For years she was maligned and disdained by many. Sexual harassers are often exceedingly clever. And sometimes they end up on the Supreme Court and as President of the United States.
25
To all those who think it cuts both ways:
A woman is walking down the street by herself on her way home from work around dusk. Then walking the other direction on the other side of the street is a group of guys going out to the club for the night all hopped up and raring to go. They see the woman and make cat-calls, whistles and chant vulgarities. She becomes extremely concerned for her welfare, picks up the pace and fears for her safety when a few of them cross into the road to wave her over. She panics and runs all the way home.
Then the next day, a man is walking home from work at dusk along the same street and a group of women walking the other direction on the other side of the street is going out to the club for the night all hopped up and raring to go. They see the man and make cat-calls, whistles and chant vulgarities. He becomes extremely excited as his hormones kick in, he puffs up his chest, calls back to them, waves them over to cross the street, when they don't, he crosses over to them thinking he's gonna get lucky.
Both situations are ostensibly the same, but the power to do damage in the first version is real, and in the second version, the women are not perceived as scary, but rather exciting. In most all situations in life when women do what men do, it doesn't carry the same power to do damage the way men do.
Men are to death and destruction as women are to birth and creation. If you don't think so, then work on your own attitude and behavior, prove it.
A woman is walking down the street by herself on her way home from work around dusk. Then walking the other direction on the other side of the street is a group of guys going out to the club for the night all hopped up and raring to go. They see the woman and make cat-calls, whistles and chant vulgarities. She becomes extremely concerned for her welfare, picks up the pace and fears for her safety when a few of them cross into the road to wave her over. She panics and runs all the way home.
Then the next day, a man is walking home from work at dusk along the same street and a group of women walking the other direction on the other side of the street is going out to the club for the night all hopped up and raring to go. They see the man and make cat-calls, whistles and chant vulgarities. He becomes extremely excited as his hormones kick in, he puffs up his chest, calls back to them, waves them over to cross the street, when they don't, he crosses over to them thinking he's gonna get lucky.
Both situations are ostensibly the same, but the power to do damage in the first version is real, and in the second version, the women are not perceived as scary, but rather exciting. In most all situations in life when women do what men do, it doesn't carry the same power to do damage the way men do.
Men are to death and destruction as women are to birth and creation. If you don't think so, then work on your own attitude and behavior, prove it.
30
Making generalizations that men are about death and destruction and women are birth and creation is stupid. Of course there are boorish men and worse in many workplaces and articles like thiswill work to combat that. But if you count how many men each of these women have encountered in their careers against the number that made advances I think the percentage of boorish men would be very small. Still the behavior is pernicious and has no place in any work environment. Maybe the Times can do an article on waitresses or babysitters or with women who don't speak English to see what their experiences are like as well.
2
Would you kindly prove your contention in your last paragraph?
It's a gross generalization.
It's a gross generalization.
1
Hi Glenn and Robert,
Women have the power of the universe by virtue of their ability to create life, and men seek to match wits with women by the equal opposite act of destroying life, killing for food & revenge, waging wars, pillaging peaceful peoples, enacting slavery, colonialism piracy and running corporations to satisfy their rapacious nature. Men evolutionarily developed in a manner that tried to keep up with the silent power women wield in their non-violent work to create and sustain life, and men spend much of their time trying to tear it all down, turning the ecology into the economy & wasting the environment, seeking to find avenues of domination to equal women's quiet consciousness and habits of preservation.
Women have to endure the shameful behavior of men staring at them below the collar when in conversation every day, and men constantly objectify women in front and behind their backs. Sure there are men who work on their behavior to be better than this, and sure there are men who do not view women as sex objects, but I think the disgusting male attitude and behavior is the rule, not the exception.
Too many men look at women as their baby appliances, their dishwashers, laundry machines, nannies for their children, and this has been documented to have not gotten any better through time. Men have figured out they can control the power of the universe women possess, that's patriarchy, and that they'd much rather go hunting and fishing than do women's work.
Women have the power of the universe by virtue of their ability to create life, and men seek to match wits with women by the equal opposite act of destroying life, killing for food & revenge, waging wars, pillaging peaceful peoples, enacting slavery, colonialism piracy and running corporations to satisfy their rapacious nature. Men evolutionarily developed in a manner that tried to keep up with the silent power women wield in their non-violent work to create and sustain life, and men spend much of their time trying to tear it all down, turning the ecology into the economy & wasting the environment, seeking to find avenues of domination to equal women's quiet consciousness and habits of preservation.
Women have to endure the shameful behavior of men staring at them below the collar when in conversation every day, and men constantly objectify women in front and behind their backs. Sure there are men who work on their behavior to be better than this, and sure there are men who do not view women as sex objects, but I think the disgusting male attitude and behavior is the rule, not the exception.
Too many men look at women as their baby appliances, their dishwashers, laundry machines, nannies for their children, and this has been documented to have not gotten any better through time. Men have figured out they can control the power of the universe women possess, that's patriarchy, and that they'd much rather go hunting and fishing than do women's work.
1
Can we just put Justin Caldbeck and all of his ilk in jail? After taking away ALL of their money?
8
One would hope, friend, one would hope.
7
My son's godmother works in a male dominated field. She is a urologist, the first of her family who went to college, which is a big deal when your are poor and black in Brazil. She have heard all kind of "jokes" about the reasons why she chose to be a urologist usually made by her male colleagues. When we started working together in a emergency room, all female doctors made clear that we won't tolerate this kind of "joke"! We are stronger together!
17
Unless genetic engineering takes over XYchromosomes would get attracted by XY chromosomes wherever and whenever opportunities present itself. Such animalistic behaviour is instinctive unless motivated by over-riding commercial mega profits which is the only nown antidote to genetic instinctive attractions . Biology at work and in active operation.
Robots could be another alternative to the situation.For the gentler gender , the only advice is that they become indispensable by superior technical abilities that in tech industry they become like automated efficiency machines that no one can mess up with.
Women techs should should not put themselves in situations that hey seek funds.Let funds seek their technical talents instead.Funding agencies are filled with machomen who has not much scruples nor education to adjust or to undertsnad educated work force and they try to satisfy their basic instincts whenerver they meet with vulnerable people irrespective of gender denominations.
Its not worth the time and effort to try to reform such sick minds for whom human beings means nothing because they worship money which is the only thing meaningful to them.Women shoulld just SHUN them and steer clear of the predators who dont see the technical and administrative capital that a woman can bring which they dont have it in them .
Hence talent should not go after money .Let money be made to come after talent.Their money has no value unless they have your technical talents .
Robots could be another alternative to the situation.For the gentler gender , the only advice is that they become indispensable by superior technical abilities that in tech industry they become like automated efficiency machines that no one can mess up with.
Women techs should should not put themselves in situations that hey seek funds.Let funds seek their technical talents instead.Funding agencies are filled with machomen who has not much scruples nor education to adjust or to undertsnad educated work force and they try to satisfy their basic instincts whenerver they meet with vulnerable people irrespective of gender denominations.
Its not worth the time and effort to try to reform such sick minds for whom human beings means nothing because they worship money which is the only thing meaningful to them.Women shoulld just SHUN them and steer clear of the predators who dont see the technical and administrative capital that a woman can bring which they dont have it in them .
Hence talent should not go after money .Let money be made to come after talent.Their money has no value unless they have your technical talents .
1
Not a practical solution in a world short of investment capital.
2
Yes, this problem exists in all industries, but the reason this is important in tech startups is this is the innovation engine of our economy. Bad enough this behavior is exhibited in the Whitehouse, but growth potential being tampered with because many of the men in power here (the ones with the money) are sexist idiots who can't objectively recognize an investment without tripping over their libidos. A correction is needed whether that can happen on its own or through some sort of regulation.
65
Thank you! This but me too thing is irritating, and not helpful.
So where are the Sheryl Sandbergs of Silicon Valley who purport to help women? Surely there must be some women venture capitalists.
That being said, men who value business should behave like business people. I worked for a major brokerage firm where in our particular office there were over 100 men brokers and three women brokers. There was no problem, the office culture was very professional.
Where's Gloria Allred and her ilk? They'd love to go after these guys. Surely there'd be money in it for them to go after venture capitalists.
When we hear of so many harassment cases going to court, why aren't there any in these instances?
These women are highly educated and accomplished in everything else, what is holding them back from seeking damages?
Our society become so politically correct that people who defend themselves against violent thugs are often criticized. Police officers are routinely excoriated for shooting guilty thugs.
I think the media and PC culture have brainwashed women into being willfully defenseless and encourage whipping out the victim playing cards.
Once a guy goes groping or caressing your face, he ain't forking out any VC dough regardless. He could use a few Krav Maga moves. Or a court case.
Make it hurt.
That being said, men who value business should behave like business people. I worked for a major brokerage firm where in our particular office there were over 100 men brokers and three women brokers. There was no problem, the office culture was very professional.
Where's Gloria Allred and her ilk? They'd love to go after these guys. Surely there'd be money in it for them to go after venture capitalists.
When we hear of so many harassment cases going to court, why aren't there any in these instances?
These women are highly educated and accomplished in everything else, what is holding them back from seeking damages?
Our society become so politically correct that people who defend themselves against violent thugs are often criticized. Police officers are routinely excoriated for shooting guilty thugs.
I think the media and PC culture have brainwashed women into being willfully defenseless and encourage whipping out the victim playing cards.
Once a guy goes groping or caressing your face, he ain't forking out any VC dough regardless. He could use a few Krav Maga moves. Or a court case.
Make it hurt.
11
OMG, 24 people! It's a crisis above all others needing immediate front page attention! Let's generalize all over the place and feign outrage over how bad women have it! Most important thing on the planet! Outrage for these poor helpless creatures now!
16
OMG, the outrage of one poor man having to read a front-page story about harassed women fighting back!
37
I only know what things are like in academia...and from what I read about the outside world. But here's the way it is On The Inside...dunno whether it generalizes:
(a) The majority of both men and women--mostly sane, reasonable, and basically good. Then there's (b) men who harass women. And then there's (c) the extremist leftist / PC / feminist crusaders against harassment. Those of us in (a) are locked in a struggle against (b) AND (c)...who...I *guess* are technically at war with each other...but, from where I'm standing, it really looks like (b) and (c) rarely actually engage with each other. (c) doesn't seem to have much of an effect at all on (b). Unable to catch them, they pick the soft targets in (a) instead--e.g. by expanding the conceptions of sexual harassment and rape until every man is "guilty."
I'm a man in (a)...and I routinely encounter (c), but almost never (b). (b) stays under the radar, and they're wily and often powerful. (c) is ascendant culturally--they have the power of institutions and public opinion behind them...they can do the most unreasonable things without losing power or authority. On a *personal* level, (c) poses a much bigger threat to males in (a) than (b) does. Our careers and lives can be ruined by an accusation, no matter how insane and obviously false. All the existence of (c) seems to have done is harmed males in (a)...and left us with less incentive and energy to worry about (b)... I'm still WAY anti-(b)...but (c) isn't helping.
(a) The majority of both men and women--mostly sane, reasonable, and basically good. Then there's (b) men who harass women. And then there's (c) the extremist leftist / PC / feminist crusaders against harassment. Those of us in (a) are locked in a struggle against (b) AND (c)...who...I *guess* are technically at war with each other...but, from where I'm standing, it really looks like (b) and (c) rarely actually engage with each other. (c) doesn't seem to have much of an effect at all on (b). Unable to catch them, they pick the soft targets in (a) instead--e.g. by expanding the conceptions of sexual harassment and rape until every man is "guilty."
I'm a man in (a)...and I routinely encounter (c), but almost never (b). (b) stays under the radar, and they're wily and often powerful. (c) is ascendant culturally--they have the power of institutions and public opinion behind them...they can do the most unreasonable things without losing power or authority. On a *personal* level, (c) poses a much bigger threat to males in (a) than (b) does. Our careers and lives can be ruined by an accusation, no matter how insane and obviously false. All the existence of (c) seems to have done is harmed males in (a)...and left us with less incentive and energy to worry about (b)... I'm still WAY anti-(b)...but (c) isn't helping.
20
i agree with your classification - class a is the majority, thank goodness. but there are plenty in class b - usually we tend to be absorbed in our own issues and routines, and stuff like that tends to go under the radar. you might be surprised of what you might find out by asking directly female friends and colleagues about this topic...
LOL
I've worked in the tech industry for 30+ years. This is rubbish
I would say that many tech workers have long workweeks and less opportunity to socialize outside of work. That coupled with the fact that fewer women find themselves in tech, means that many of these somewhat socially inept and grossly overworked tech men will make innocent advances on women. I don't see why this is an issue.
Women actually have an advantage in the tech industry, because those who enter tend to have the social skills that men entering lack. Companies also like to promote them ahead of men.
Finally, I have gotten some very unwanted sexual advances from gay men at work. I'm not gay. So I politely and firmly declined and we moved on. Maybe, the ability to move in is somewhat gender specific.
I don't think it is unnatural or unhealthy for men to approach women (or men) in the workplace. Especially in our overworked tech culture.
Perhaps there is the odd and rare man who is sexual predator who finds his way into tech. But, there is hardly a pervasive culture among these introverted 80-hour a week number crunching math-genius code jockeys.
It's odd, that the New York times takes aim at the tech industry. When we have so many men who refuse responsibility for their children and themselves and are physically and psychologically abusive to women.
I've worked in the tech industry for 30+ years. This is rubbish
I would say that many tech workers have long workweeks and less opportunity to socialize outside of work. That coupled with the fact that fewer women find themselves in tech, means that many of these somewhat socially inept and grossly overworked tech men will make innocent advances on women. I don't see why this is an issue.
Women actually have an advantage in the tech industry, because those who enter tend to have the social skills that men entering lack. Companies also like to promote them ahead of men.
Finally, I have gotten some very unwanted sexual advances from gay men at work. I'm not gay. So I politely and firmly declined and we moved on. Maybe, the ability to move in is somewhat gender specific.
I don't think it is unnatural or unhealthy for men to approach women (or men) in the workplace. Especially in our overworked tech culture.
Perhaps there is the odd and rare man who is sexual predator who finds his way into tech. But, there is hardly a pervasive culture among these introverted 80-hour a week number crunching math-genius code jockeys.
It's odd, that the New York times takes aim at the tech industry. When we have so many men who refuse responsibility for their children and themselves and are physically and psychologically abusive to women.
20
Do you think the advances depicted here are "innocent"? Do you not understand the difference between workplace advances by peers and those where there are power differentials, as in a VC situation?
Finally, you're comparison to receiving a couple of advances from gay men is laughable. You're not being gay is why they move on. Women can't say they're not women, and even if they say they're gay, that often doesn't stop the advances.
Finally, you're comparison to receiving a couple of advances from gay men is laughable. You're not being gay is why they move on. Women can't say they're not women, and even if they say they're gay, that often doesn't stop the advances.
34
James you make some reasonable points. The trouble is, is when the predator (man or woman) is in the power position and threatens either overtly or by implication that a 'no' from the victim will mean a 'no' from them on whatever the victim is seeking.
There is a clear distinction between respectful pursuit (again whether by a man or by a woman) of a personal relationship and what is being discussed in this article.
A sexual predator will rarely be a peer - almost always a power player.
There is a clear distinction between respectful pursuit (again whether by a man or by a woman) of a personal relationship and what is being discussed in this article.
A sexual predator will rarely be a peer - almost always a power player.
16
James, also read this: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/10/upshot/its-not-just-fox-why-women-don...®ion=EndOfArticle&pgtype=article
I've been harassed my entire life, reporting it twice.
1. Sought out an attorney who took a $5K retainer, waited two weeks, and then said their was nothing he could do, and kept the money. I suspected at the time it was because when he found out who the harasser was, a high level very public executive at very very big brand, he decided against. it.
2. I was physically blocked from leaving my office by a male underling at another company, who reported to me, and when I reported it, excused were made for him, I was marginalized and eventually fired.
It is very hard for good men to believe how pervasive this is. How much damage it has and will continue to do as long as it is accepted as 'boys will be boys'.
I've been harassed my entire life, reporting it twice.
1. Sought out an attorney who took a $5K retainer, waited two weeks, and then said their was nothing he could do, and kept the money. I suspected at the time it was because when he found out who the harasser was, a high level very public executive at very very big brand, he decided against. it.
2. I was physically blocked from leaving my office by a male underling at another company, who reported to me, and when I reported it, excused were made for him, I was marginalized and eventually fired.
It is very hard for good men to believe how pervasive this is. How much damage it has and will continue to do as long as it is accepted as 'boys will be boys'.
5
Reality check the attraction between men women is natural occurance . Lite my fire or the fuel turns people on comes many ways one which is top list whos smarter. Women rule in this an men find it attracting .
5
I think there are a range of different situations here-- in some cases, we have well-substantiated claims from lots of people about bad behavior by Caldbeck and a few others. Still, the NYTimes seemed very willing to publish unsubstantiated and not very alarming claims (like that Sacca touched someone's face). There is no reason to drag people's names through the mud like that.
13
Sacca wrote a long mea culpa blog post saying he was sorry for being part of the harassment problem.
But yeah. Bummer that his reputation was sullied, huh.
But yeah. Bummer that his reputation was sullied, huh.
2
Men start businesses to make money to attract women. For a man, EVERYTHING is about sex and mating. Why do you think these entrepreneurs work 90 hours a week on their company? Look, if these men looked like Tom Brady, I think fewer women would complain. How many Jon Hamm looking bosses get cited for sexual harassment?
Also, consider this: You're a woman and you will be hired SOLELY on your intelligence and ability (blind hiring). Chances are a lot of very unattractive (conventionally speaking) female candidates will be smarter and more qualified than you are. In many cases, your ONLY hope of getting your foot in the door in a very competitive industry is your looks. There's always a woman who is obese and with acne scars and balding who is more qualified, more Ivy League, more intelligent. If hiring were ONLY done on merit and not appearance, many of these women would probably be unemployed.
Also, consider this: You're a woman and you will be hired SOLELY on your intelligence and ability (blind hiring). Chances are a lot of very unattractive (conventionally speaking) female candidates will be smarter and more qualified than you are. In many cases, your ONLY hope of getting your foot in the door in a very competitive industry is your looks. There's always a woman who is obese and with acne scars and balding who is more qualified, more Ivy League, more intelligent. If hiring were ONLY done on merit and not appearance, many of these women would probably be unemployed.
11
My time as a former startup CEO with a minor public profile was a real eye opener into the psyche of the human female. The amount of unsolicited come-ons, nude selfies and propositions from female co-workers and acquaintances was astonishing and in often downright tawdry. Guys once your venture has traction, you'll likely find that female companionship is oversupplied. In this situation, you gotta be smart and cautious and practice self-restraint. Every female proposition is a potential law suit that could blow up in your face.
3
Obese people are among the most discriminated against.
You, richguy, don't know much about human beings, do you?
You, richguy, don't know much about human beings, do you?
1
what does that have to do with my comment, smithereens? I am saying that obese women do NOT get hired because of their appearance. I said that attractive women are MORE likely to be hired. Please, reread my post with more comprehension on your part. Thanks.
3
These companies hide behind rainbow flags and pretend to be so enlightened. Mostly run by guys who couldn't get a prom date back in the day, for good reason.
10
This is like our chicken yard, the couple roosters who "own" the hens and have their harems, jump on them, bite their neck to hold on, forcibly rape them and then move on with a sense of entitlement pecking away at the dirt for bits of food.
These vulture capitalists have the power because they wave the money around, and with startups run by men, these vultures are content to just profit off them. But when the startup is run by women, there's an extra caveat: not only do they need to put out profit, they need to put out sex, which the men reportedly conflate, making the whole fundraising business sex-for-money.
Generally speaking, I think too many men are disgusting, I have always appreciated the company of women, and I don't see what they see in most men. I think this is why my partner keeps me around, despite the fact she thinks I'm handy and have contributed to producing children she loves more than all that can be found in the infinite expanse of the universe.
These vulture capitalists have the power because they wave the money around, and with startups run by men, these vultures are content to just profit off them. But when the startup is run by women, there's an extra caveat: not only do they need to put out profit, they need to put out sex, which the men reportedly conflate, making the whole fundraising business sex-for-money.
Generally speaking, I think too many men are disgusting, I have always appreciated the company of women, and I don't see what they see in most men. I think this is why my partner keeps me around, despite the fact she thinks I'm handy and have contributed to producing children she loves more than all that can be found in the infinite expanse of the universe.
3
As a woman in tech, I have to say I am not surprised at all by this news. And I have to say that sexual harassment is only aspect of the gender issues in tech. Women have to try harder than men, women are mansplained, women are interrupted in meetings, women get promoted on performance while men get promoted on potential, and the list goes on.
These women are heroes for bringing up this issue so publicly. We need more public discussion about how to move forward. I'm not sure how tech companies think they can market and sell the women when women aren't helping to build their product.
These women are heroes for bringing up this issue so publicly. We need more public discussion about how to move forward. I'm not sure how tech companies think they can market and sell the women when women aren't helping to build their product.
156
So, the really obvious question is, why the heck did the NY Times choose to show these women for their beauty and not for their tenacity as high-tech entrepreneurs? Why not show them hard at work? No need to change hairstyles or clothing choices, only to present them as entrepreneurs. Yes, high-tech misogyny, sexual harassment, and disrespect for women are rampant in the industry-- not just startups, but definitely in startups. I've worked in high-tech in Silicon Valley since 1976. It was bad then; it is bad now. This is not only a problem of treating women as sex objects. It's treating them in other demeaning and condescending ways. It's taking advantage by giving women the less interesting and challenging projects whille advancing males into management who have nearly zero social awareness, much less social skills. No need to wonder why the system is self-perpetuating.
10
Why do they need to be anything but what they are?
One needs to disguise one's beauty for the optics to perpetuate erroneous perceptions of beauty and competence being mutually exclusive?
This is the kind of thinking that gives life to the idea that women deserve what they get and should expect it.
It is shocking to me that a woman would have this viewpoint.
One needs to disguise one's beauty for the optics to perpetuate erroneous perceptions of beauty and competence being mutually exclusive?
This is the kind of thinking that gives life to the idea that women deserve what they get and should expect it.
It is shocking to me that a woman would have this viewpoint.
2
So unless you see three attractive female entrepreneurs actually working, you do not take them seriously?
That's twisted, man.
That's twisted, man.
1
Also, re/ the CEOs t-shirt - Led Zeppelin was infamous for its mistreatment/disrespectful antics with women. Doesn't prevent some from celebrating their music, but it's an ironic choice for this article.
6
This isn't about sex -- I'm sure these men have enough money to ensure they get what they want in that department -- it's purely about power, and "because they can." Being in control of all those investments and keeping all those start-up founders on a string isn't enough? They remind me of the 6-year old i used to carpool when my son was in elementary school, who treated me like I was his personal chauffeur as he sat in the backseat, making demands and complaining rudely. It's probably too late to reach these grown up valley guys -- entitlement and personal shame, or whatever it is they are trying to quell by belittling women, start early.
12
It's about sex.
Did the six-year old proposition you for sex while you were presenting your business to him to get funding, or grope you?
Explain to me again why this isn't about sex?
Explain to me again why this isn't about sex?
Too often power and wealth are co-occurring with nauseating narcissism. These are probably the same guys that treat waiters and waitresses like dirt. Actually, they treat everybody "beneath them" like dirt.
4
I listened to a recent podcast of TechCrunch and the woman who was talkint about this issue sort of proclaimed: that is just the way it is. Someone needs to reach out and remind her that NO, this should not be acceptable.
Wives need to seriously talk about this with their husbands - NO, this is not acceptable, not about sex outside the marriage, but using Sex as power over women, especially in business, is wrong.
Wives need to seriously talk about this with their husbands - NO, this is not acceptable, not about sex outside the marriage, but using Sex as power over women, especially in business, is wrong.
8
The concept of "dirty old men" comes to mind. It is about power with some men. These men regard women as mere tokens they can take liberties with - to be sure there are women who have not experienced sexual harassment because they were too powerful or too rich or too old or considered physically unattractive. Being a working woman is not easy.
7
Very gratifying to see these images of brilliant unpainted women who demand the world deal with their intelligence, integrity, and capability, not their looks. The first step toward equality is to just say No to the daily ritual of painting on a socially acceptable "pretty face" before leaving the house. It is not women's job to be pleasing to men.
9
So what you're saying is that the act of wearing of makeup or looking good exacts an implicit unspoken demand on men. And that this is unfair.
Did I get that right?
Did I get that right?
This point may be difficult for men to interpret correctly.
I refer to an explicit social demand that women embellish their face and do their best to "look good" at all times, particularly when in public.
I refer to an explicit social demand that women embellish their face and do their best to "look good" at all times, particularly when in public.
3
This is pervasive in every field. Women go through this every single day. Tech is just the most recent industry highlighted. Shining a light on it, again and again, is the short term answer. When women are equally represented in all levels of all industries, then real change might start.
6
If I had a child, I would have "the talk" about sexual harassment and gender power plays. I'd help her or him prepare not to freeze in stunned shock (like I did) in the face of harassment.
Anyone, male or female, needs to practice what to do and say when someone else is trying to dominate with sexual harassment.
Before an interview, new job, meeting, etc., rehearse a few responses in case you are sexually harassed. Your harasser may not deserve courtesy, but the most professional response is to be firm and courteous. I really wish that, when I was younger, I had had the following rules in my head:
1) It's always OK to state how you feel about a situation. You don't need to be polite, spare the other person's feelings, etc. Nor do you need to attack the other person with a stinging insult or physical violence (unless you are truly in danger). Say something to indicate you noticed the behavior and it was not welcome:
"That comment made me uncomfortable."
"I'm here for a business discussion."
If you prefer to use humor, practice some good comebacks:
"If long, red hair were relevant to the success of this project, no one at this company would be bald."
"My jeans jacket brings out the blue in my eyes? Your comment brings out the Neanderthal in your genes!"
2) If you do freeze, there is no statute of limitations on confronting harassment. You can always tell someone that what happened yesterday, last week, a year ago was not welcome.
Anyone, male or female, needs to practice what to do and say when someone else is trying to dominate with sexual harassment.
Before an interview, new job, meeting, etc., rehearse a few responses in case you are sexually harassed. Your harasser may not deserve courtesy, but the most professional response is to be firm and courteous. I really wish that, when I was younger, I had had the following rules in my head:
1) It's always OK to state how you feel about a situation. You don't need to be polite, spare the other person's feelings, etc. Nor do you need to attack the other person with a stinging insult or physical violence (unless you are truly in danger). Say something to indicate you noticed the behavior and it was not welcome:
"That comment made me uncomfortable."
"I'm here for a business discussion."
If you prefer to use humor, practice some good comebacks:
"If long, red hair were relevant to the success of this project, no one at this company would be bald."
"My jeans jacket brings out the blue in my eyes? Your comment brings out the Neanderthal in your genes!"
2) If you do freeze, there is no statute of limitations on confronting harassment. You can always tell someone that what happened yesterday, last week, a year ago was not welcome.
10
In the mid-70's I worked in accounting at a local cable firm. I was young and eager, and effective at my work. When pay raise time came around I was told I would receive an additional $10 per week, and that I was getting twice as much as the "other ladies" in the office because of my efforts in reducing outstanding receivables five-fold during the past year. I asked what the installers and technicians (all male) were getting and was told $15. I requested the same $15 raise. The GM was mildly shocked. He told me this could not be accommodated because "then we'd have to give the other ladies more, too, and the cost would be too high". I asked if he was sure that was his final answer - and respectfully asked him to reconsider. He said he could not. I gave my notice and left two weeks later.
Speaking up is a good thing. Making workplaces transparent, accountable, and healthy for all takes effort and, at times, courage. As does moving on when your values are way ahead of your employer's and your employer isn't going to catch up anytime soon.
Speaking up is a good thing. Making workplaces transparent, accountable, and healthy for all takes effort and, at times, courage. As does moving on when your values are way ahead of your employer's and your employer isn't going to catch up anytime soon.
8
Because sitting in climate controlled office is as difficult as working outdoors in the elemement and contending with insects, dogs, snakes, etc.. etc... So of course you should have make what the installers made. It's not sexism. It's logic.
This needs to become a MAJOR issue for the DNC platform! In order to take back both the House and the Senate- we must make this the centerpiece issue for the 2018 election cycle!
Also equally important is free college education for all undocumented immigrant workers, more transgender car dealerships and a law that guarantees "farm to table" food in every soup kitchen or shelter which caters to the homeless. While were at it- We need rent free homes for 10 years for every Syrian refugee and free airfare for people who fly with their emotional support animals.
Also equally important is free college education for all undocumented immigrant workers, more transgender car dealerships and a law that guarantees "farm to table" food in every soup kitchen or shelter which caters to the homeless. While were at it- We need rent free homes for 10 years for every Syrian refugee and free airfare for people who fly with their emotional support animals.
5
The only defense we have had as professional women (I sincerely hope until now) has been to brush it off or summon the courage to tell the offender off. The latter usually only results in ridicule or worse. The damage this causes is so profound. I lost almost all faith in men because of those situations and have struggled to find it again. It has absolutely negatively impacted my personal life and my career.
18
This is pervasive in so many industries, but especially those which are both dominated by men and dominated by money.
I work in a male-dominated field but the pay is nothing like law, banking, or tech startups, and so the explicit sexual harassment is more subdued. Of course, the sexist comments that men say when not in mixed company are evidence of closely-held chauvinism, but, with reprimand (from other men, like myself) and time, I have noticed they've gotten less frequent. I do consider myself a feminist - a man who believes women deserve equal pay and treatment. I have argued for better benefits and pay for women. I have yelled at my superiors when I've discovered the disparity in pay between recent male and female hires. I have pointed out the "business case" for greater diversity to my old white male bosses (a group to which I now belong). And I am glad this issue is getting more press.
Let me also point out that it is also challenging to be a man in this environment. Men also get mixed messages: many women want powerful or aggressive men as life partners, but whether use of that power or aggression is appropriate or not is quite nuanced. Beauty and youth are prized in our society, and attraction is biologically ingrained, yet in the office we are expected to ignore these traits, somehow. I am not excusing bad behavior, or proposing that we pity the titans of business, but it is helpful to look at the complexity of the issue and it's greater societal context.
I work in a male-dominated field but the pay is nothing like law, banking, or tech startups, and so the explicit sexual harassment is more subdued. Of course, the sexist comments that men say when not in mixed company are evidence of closely-held chauvinism, but, with reprimand (from other men, like myself) and time, I have noticed they've gotten less frequent. I do consider myself a feminist - a man who believes women deserve equal pay and treatment. I have argued for better benefits and pay for women. I have yelled at my superiors when I've discovered the disparity in pay between recent male and female hires. I have pointed out the "business case" for greater diversity to my old white male bosses (a group to which I now belong). And I am glad this issue is getting more press.
Let me also point out that it is also challenging to be a man in this environment. Men also get mixed messages: many women want powerful or aggressive men as life partners, but whether use of that power or aggression is appropriate or not is quite nuanced. Beauty and youth are prized in our society, and attraction is biologically ingrained, yet in the office we are expected to ignore these traits, somehow. I am not excusing bad behavior, or proposing that we pity the titans of business, but it is helpful to look at the complexity of the issue and it's greater societal context.
11
I have been working at tech companies (in non-technical roles) for about 3.5 years now. In that time I have witnessed a lot of inappropriate behavior (not all, but mostly, from men) in the workplace. When I first started at a big tech company when I was 24, I didn't think it mattered what I was hearing (or the emails I was receiving), that the colleagues who made inappropriate or sexist comments were just young, that I was young, that we were all immature. Overtime, I've come to recognize the insidious nature of those early comments from young coworkers, and the insidious nature of my "it doesn't matter" response. The truth is that this behavior starts early and young and there are no consequences for it because young men and women often don't have strong female leaders in their organizations to look up to and respect. Young women are too afraid to speak out lest they are labeled as "uncool" or even worse, unfit to do their jobs because they stir the pot. When women don't speak out, men assume what they are doing is ok and they continue with their behavior. It's a vicious cycle, and it doesn't only take place in the elite upper echelons of the tech world or just to female engineers. It's pervasive in the culture of tech companies.
18
It is not a totally one way situation; there are guys who are propositioned, probably more subtly because of anxiety certain types of women would experience if exposed. It is unnatural for young pretty women to be entering the plastic, materialistic, ego-driven world of big business especially if they are financially and emotionally insecure in their own ways. In the internet age with the sordid realities of the largely unregulated porn business in the San Fernando valley, most jaded males' expectations are fantasy based and unrealistic. As a society we should be having debates on this cultural crisis but that is verboten because it is "adult" and full of stigmas.
5
I can't wait for the breathless expose investigating why there is a "gender imbalance" among primary school teachers, health care workers, administrative support, and social services.
9
It's because general social attitudes tend to presume men in those fields are weak or pedophilic. Not a mystery. It's also /completely unrelated/ to the issue of rampant sexual harassment in tech fields.
5
Oh surprise. Instead of starlet on the couch, we now have entrepreneurette on the couch. Where are these jerky guys' wives and mothers and even mistresses that they think women appreciate their behaving this way? or are they misogynists -- who hate their wives, mothers, mistresses? Conflicted? and sadly as a female one has to be super careful with how one dresses and what one says (being polite can create problems) if one wants to avoid unwanted, unwarranted and unnecessary advances. Here are some ways not to get advances -- interrupt frequently -- men hate that, be distant not too friendly, always costume conservatively, do not drink any alcohol, do not get personal. OTOH once a second person opens up and starts blabbering, one usually has achieved her goal and gotten whatever she wants/needs.
3
Wearing shorts as short as those shown in the picture of the aggrieved woman, Silicon Valley must literally be as hot as a real sweatshop. What's there even to notice dressed like that? Perhaps it's the "style" but people still choose themselves what they wear and why.
11
Sexual harassment of women at work goes beyond men with money and power. A man at any job and income level is capable of harassing a woman, and it often comes down to individual control of one's sexual filter. Just because a guy has urges, or is sexually attracted to a woman, doesn't mean he has to act inappropriately. Self control is a disciplined form of behavior that is missing from too many men.
13
And male managers who support their female colleagues and team members are often perceived as weak by other men and derided for advocating for women.
They need to sue all these silicon valley millionaires and billionaires for huge money for harassment---they can really cash in with some nice money.
3
We need to fight back harder than we ever have before. We have re-entered an era of high misogyny, where men dominate, subjugate, and shrug their shoulders when caught. It is time to out the offenders on a massive scale, publicly, and repeatedly. If we fail to do so we will be stuck for another generation, or more, with Mad Men era behavior towards women. If we want reform we need to carry a big stick and use it, or they will never listen.
Before I became disabled by SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosis) I spent 19 years as a physician. Like tech, medicine is a largely male domain, and a highly sexist one. I experienced sexual harassment in the form of sexual advances, comments, fondling, and even one event where the resident physician standing behind me during a long surgery masturbated against my back. I've been slapped for falling asleep after a 48 hour shift. I've had my glove and finger punctured by an attending physician during a surgery but was not allowed to scrub out per protocol to attend to the injury because the problem was "my fault." I've been threatened with retaliation for complaining about several of these abuses. My career never became what I once hoped it would be and I'm not sure if it is because I didn't stand up and fight, or if it is because I didn't smile pretty and go along with the program.
I will never know. It is far too late for me. My career is over 15 years ahead of its time. I just hope this next generation of women will pull together and fight.
Before I became disabled by SLE (Systemic Lupus Erythematosis) I spent 19 years as a physician. Like tech, medicine is a largely male domain, and a highly sexist one. I experienced sexual harassment in the form of sexual advances, comments, fondling, and even one event where the resident physician standing behind me during a long surgery masturbated against my back. I've been slapped for falling asleep after a 48 hour shift. I've had my glove and finger punctured by an attending physician during a surgery but was not allowed to scrub out per protocol to attend to the injury because the problem was "my fault." I've been threatened with retaliation for complaining about several of these abuses. My career never became what I once hoped it would be and I'm not sure if it is because I didn't stand up and fight, or if it is because I didn't smile pretty and go along with the program.
I will never know. It is far too late for me. My career is over 15 years ahead of its time. I just hope this next generation of women will pull together and fight.
7
I would expect this type of behavior among old men, who hold preconceived notions of gender inequality and other such stereotypes, but not among young groovy hipsters, who supposedly embrace equality and do not hold to the stereotypes of previous generations. I must be wrong.
1
"I must be wrong."
Indeed. Probably about more than just this.
Indeed. Probably about more than just this.
3
For whatever the reason I am surprised to see so many female rather stay in the same job rather than quit and look for another better place or greener pasture to work. Social behavior works on both ways. Put a stop immediately after male improper behavior. Most of the people will get the picture and stop. Unless one doesn't put a stop and pretend to be ok, then this bad behavior will continue. With our culture encourages outgoing, aggressive and persistent doing things, we will not see the end of this bad behavior until female strongly put a hint or single stop in response.
1
Exactly WHY should the victim seek other employment or opportunities?? How about making the PERP move elsewhere!
7
For over thirteen years I worked in a two person office as an assistant to financial advisors in a small town. I was a good twenty years older than one married, newbie advisor who despite the firm implementing sexual harassment protocols would come behind me and massage my shoulders. I cringed every time but allowed the behavior to continue because as a single mother in a small town, he payed well, the bonuses were exceptional and the company had extremely good benefits. I knew I was compromising myself , but his tender ego would have been compromised so I stuck it out.
5
There's this idea that men who are into technology are shy "good" guys who are gentle and sensitive. This has been promoted by the entertainment industry forever, basically. We've all seen it in tons of movies and TV shows - geeky tech nerd is awkward around girls, bullied by sexist jocks who treat girls like trash, but eventually wins over the hottest one in school and becomes a hero. This is nonsense. Anyone who has ever lived in a college dorm with computer engineers or any tech people knows that they're just as sexist and disgusting as any athlete or rock star or Wall Street hot shot. If anything they're even worse because they lack social skills, and have no idea how to behave around women, either inside or outside the work place. Good article, and thank you for putting a spotlight on this.
10
This is a very fascinating article. Great job to the author of this piece. It's very information and very revealing. It mostly left with mixed, rather torn feeling and a bit ashamed of my gender. I think, that men; for the most part will always be little immature boys deep down inside. Whether as adults they're still filled with personal insecurities or whether men feel a sense of intimidation at being in the company of women. Personally, I have often wondered why don't women band together and form their own tech companies. Run by women. Controlled by women. But of course, the issue of funding comes up; right ? It's a dicey situation. My heart truly goes out the women in this story. Being a victim isn't a way of life and men need to learn a little more sensitivity towards their better half. I also think, that men in general; will never truly understand women until they start having daughters of their own. Sadly, men are pigs; and social status neither the size of their bank accounts; will ever change that.
29
It's pandering to say, "...men need to learn a little more sensitivity towards their better half." THIS is part of the problem, assuming that there actually IS a "better half" because of gender, and also that it merely takes "sensitivity." As a female, when people refer to a woman as the "better half," I see this as a mere flattery in order to shut me up, because shouldn't I be happy that he's complimenting me?
Dealing with an immense power imbalance takes hard work, rational thought, cooperation, risk, and integration at every level.
I know the idea of women-run companies may sound good as a solution, but let's think about that in terms of if one said instead, "....why don't men band together and form their own tech companies. Run by men. Controlled by men." But wait--they already have. Why do we think control by a particular gender is ever going to provide the final solution when cooperation is optimal?
I also know men who do not have daughters who think that the behavior described in the article is abhorrent. There are also plenty of men who have daughters, but see those who are not as "others" and therefore fair-game for their power plays. So having children is not a solution.
The greater solution is the bravery of these women who are speaking up and of their colleagues and society who are not hesitating to support them. There is no other way to convince the powerful that a particular bad behavior they indulge in as if by right is no longer acceptable.
Dealing with an immense power imbalance takes hard work, rational thought, cooperation, risk, and integration at every level.
I know the idea of women-run companies may sound good as a solution, but let's think about that in terms of if one said instead, "....why don't men band together and form their own tech companies. Run by men. Controlled by men." But wait--they already have. Why do we think control by a particular gender is ever going to provide the final solution when cooperation is optimal?
I also know men who do not have daughters who think that the behavior described in the article is abhorrent. There are also plenty of men who have daughters, but see those who are not as "others" and therefore fair-game for their power plays. So having children is not a solution.
The greater solution is the bravery of these women who are speaking up and of their colleagues and society who are not hesitating to support them. There is no other way to convince the powerful that a particular bad behavior they indulge in as if by right is no longer acceptable.
1
You sound sincere in your concern. But your comments reflect the old "Boys will be boys!" saw: they're just doomed to be immature, so women have to grow up, be the Adult in the room? That's a cop-out. Old, tired, well-worn, often thinly disguised, and exhaustingly persistant Cop-Out. Grow up if you want to, or remain a Boy, but please don't spread the idea that It Just The Way It Is. Unless, of course you want it to stay that way.
2
To the courageous ladies whom decided to come forward. Keep up the fight, be strident, and be vocal. They will seek to buy you off, to silence you, and deny you your worth as a woman and as an equal. The greatest asset in our country is an empowered and independent woman. #StandUp!
5
Women must realize that Human Resources works for management not the rank and file. They are there to protect the company from law suits, etc. They are not your protectors or friends. As you complain they build the file which is then used against you. Have trouble with a well respected boss, then look for a new job. Don't depend on the kindness of HR strangers. As a retired executive, that is my advice.... sorry to say. Good luck, and there are great companies out there that you can thrive in.
11
First of all most of the guys I worked along side with, the developers and product guys, are great. I was not lucky, good professionals simply want to work with other good professionals. ... But yeah the VCs are pretty bad. I heard one say they liked hiring women "because they work harder and will take less money." Fortunately I don't work with the VCs.
6
I see some common ideas in these comments along the lines of, "You won't like this advice, but dress modestly." The problem is that this advice has been given to women for centuries now, and it has never solved the problem of sexual harassment. That's because the issue has nothing to do with sex or attractiveness or the myth of men not being able to control their sexuality; it has everything to do with power dynamics and the threat to male egoism.
Time, I think, for women instead to dress however they like, and for men to take the responsibility not to harass women in the workplace. Let's stop judging the women in this photo for "not looking professional" or "looking provocative" (seriously? they're just people who are sitting who happen to have legs. This looks normal to me) and start judging the workplace cultures that permit this--and the companies that only apologize or take steps to address it once the issues have been made public.
Time, I think, for women instead to dress however they like, and for men to take the responsibility not to harass women in the workplace. Let's stop judging the women in this photo for "not looking professional" or "looking provocative" (seriously? they're just people who are sitting who happen to have legs. This looks normal to me) and start judging the workplace cultures that permit this--and the companies that only apologize or take steps to address it once the issues have been made public.
11
I think the problem is they look like they are going to the beach, and not an interview with the NYT about industry practices. If you want to be taken seriously as a businessperson, you should look like a serious businessperson. The problem is not that they clothes are revealing, but that they jarringly too casual.
9
I can understand this perspective, but they work in Silicon Valley, not on Wall Street. The cultural expectations are completely different-- men wear hoodies and Vans to work at their tech jobs, and nobody cares at all, or sees that as a reason why men should expect harassment (or even just being taken less seriously in the workplace...)
1
As women, we need to hear and believe what other women are telling us about their experiences. Having been in the tech industry longer than I care to think about, my worst experiences came about not as a result of sexual advances, but of unscrupulously ambitious men who convinced female superiors that my achievements were theirs, or that my complaints were imaginary. If you hear it, believe it is possible. Make a thorough investigation. There are many many tools and resources out there now to help you keep track and keep men accountable.
6
I was listening to an interview yesterday about the making of the movie Thelma and Louise describing how film director Ridley Scott didn't believe women would be subjected to the verbal abuse the characters endured from a truck driver in the movie.
It's long past time to face it: we live in a culture steeped in the denigration of women. This article exposes it. Our President brags about assault and reinforces his misogyny every day, hitting on blonde journalist in the oval office the day after he invokes his revulsion for "bleeding" women. Hilary Clinton was reviled and attacked and ultimately, rejected, in a way no other male candidate ever would be. This is one of the core cancers in our society, and it's time to face it. ALL women in the work place experience what these women describe. All young women who dare to leave their home and walk down the street are subject to verbal harassment from men. We say we are different from the middle east, but a woman who leaves her home is considered fair game, a woman who gets a job is apparently "asking for it." And when men prey on women, we ask "what was she wearing?"
I have a smart, beautiful young exchange student living in my home this summer and it's bringing it all back to me. This morning she asked me what she should say to a man on the train who asked her if she was married and persisted in talking to her when she tried to set some boundaries. It made me sick that this is what she is experiencing, and I remembered it well.
It's long past time to face it: we live in a culture steeped in the denigration of women. This article exposes it. Our President brags about assault and reinforces his misogyny every day, hitting on blonde journalist in the oval office the day after he invokes his revulsion for "bleeding" women. Hilary Clinton was reviled and attacked and ultimately, rejected, in a way no other male candidate ever would be. This is one of the core cancers in our society, and it's time to face it. ALL women in the work place experience what these women describe. All young women who dare to leave their home and walk down the street are subject to verbal harassment from men. We say we are different from the middle east, but a woman who leaves her home is considered fair game, a woman who gets a job is apparently "asking for it." And when men prey on women, we ask "what was she wearing?"
I have a smart, beautiful young exchange student living in my home this summer and it's bringing it all back to me. This morning she asked me what she should say to a man on the train who asked her if she was married and persisted in talking to her when she tried to set some boundaries. It made me sick that this is what she is experiencing, and I remembered it well.
15
This totally explains Donald Trump. What is difficult is how many women voted for him knowing the extent of sexual harassment in our society.
Are these men fathers? Is this the example they wish to promote to their sons and the experience they wish for their daughters?
Are these men fathers? Is this the example they wish to promote to their sons and the experience they wish for their daughters?
8
"The [two dozen] women’s experiences help explain why the venture capital and start-up ecosystem — which underpins the tech industry"
There are 1.5 million jobs in Silicon Valley. EEOC data show that the high tech industry employs approximately 36 percent workers identified by employers as "women." So if all of the jobs in SV were tech jobs, the Times talked to 24 out of 500,000. Given that at least some SV jobs are unrelated to high-tech, the ratio is probably closer to 24/200,000.
This kind of inference from statistical data may explain why the U.S. needs to rely on foreign-educated H-1B workers...
There are 1.5 million jobs in Silicon Valley. EEOC data show that the high tech industry employs approximately 36 percent workers identified by employers as "women." So if all of the jobs in SV were tech jobs, the Times talked to 24 out of 500,000. Given that at least some SV jobs are unrelated to high-tech, the ratio is probably closer to 24/200,000.
This kind of inference from statistical data may explain why the U.S. needs to rely on foreign-educated H-1B workers...
4
Philip,
The conclusion I draw from your assessment is that the remaining 199,976 women (by your guesstimate) have likely not experienced harassment, due to the fact that the Times did not speak to them. Is that what you are inferring?
If so, consider that "no available data" is not the same as "no experience of harassment." Also consider the general reluctance of victims to speak publicly about it.
Lastly, based on the quote you referenced, your statistics fail to differentiate SV tech jobs funded by VC from those at non-VC-funded companies. So, technically, your guesstimate should be a smaller number.
The conclusion I draw from your assessment is that the remaining 199,976 women (by your guesstimate) have likely not experienced harassment, due to the fact that the Times did not speak to them. Is that what you are inferring?
If so, consider that "no available data" is not the same as "no experience of harassment." Also consider the general reluctance of victims to speak publicly about it.
Lastly, based on the quote you referenced, your statistics fail to differentiate SV tech jobs funded by VC from those at non-VC-funded companies. So, technically, your guesstimate should be a smaller number.
1
The article specifically, repeatedly, and throughout uses the terms "entrepreneur" and "venture capitalist". Your expanding this to all jobs is a red herring. Also, the sentence just below the one you excerpted says that female entrepreneurs received $1.5B last year compared to $58B for men. This doesn't establish discrimination, necessarily -- we don't know how many of each gender sought funding -- but it does indicate that "the venture capital and start-up ecosystem [...] is [...] lopsided in terms of gender".
One woman sexually harassed is one too many. We can't necessarily change individuals, but we can change the culture that considers such behavior acceptable. It starts with recognizing that there's a problem. Anecdotes may not tell us the exact extent of the problem, but they are plenty to show that the problem exists.
One woman sexually harassed is one too many. We can't necessarily change individuals, but we can change the culture that considers such behavior acceptable. It starts with recognizing that there's a problem. Anecdotes may not tell us the exact extent of the problem, but they are plenty to show that the problem exists.
1
Erin: I would hope that a person who'd passed the applied probability class that I used to teach (or the high school senior whom I recently tutored in AP Statistics) wouldn't make any inference at all from soliciting horror stories and getting 24!
Women should not be harassed in the workplace. However, people do have a right to be friendly. That is what your parents did, which is the only reason you exist. There is a difference between "unwanted advances" and sexual harassment. Unwanted advances are often perfectly honorable and legitimate. Again, many of us are products of that. But harassment, much less rape is totally unacceptable. It boils down to a clear statement of rejection and a demand to not repeat the advance. And no retaliation for having done so. Does it sound unrealistic? Maybe it is. But too often we put then entire human race on the exam table and declare that basically every human interaction (again, YOUR parents met as strangers once, subsequently had sex and made you) is a legal offense and a sexual depravity. It's not really so. In some cases it's not okay; in many cases it absolutely is.
11
Nothing new here. I am a woman of a certain age and every woman I know has been harassed, assaulted, paid less than her male counterparts, given menial tasks to do, endured comments about her body and dress, and otherwise mistreated. I despair: will things ever change?
10
I cannot understand the desirability of attempting to be intimate with a woman who has no interest in you. It's repulsive and twisted behavior. There is no reasonable excuse for this in any situation.
3
It's about putting women in their place--and showing them they are just meat no matter how accomplished they are.
2
Thank you NYT!! Without you, Americans wouldn't hear about this abuse and the abusers. Our legal system is "ONLY FOR THE WEALTHY" so often the abused can't win in court. Wondering how long it will take for men and women to accept partnership roles and relationships instead of the oppressive roles and relationships in a fading culture of domination?
4
This is not news. I got my computer science degree in 1981. I got groped in an elevator, hit on by a professor, and continually had guys asking me if they could "help me with my homework". I got an advanced degree before going to work in 1984 where my first boss tried to convince me to share a room with him at a conference "we always share rooms to cut costs" was his pitch. It goes on. I kept working but it was tough.
My point here is that I hope these younger women entering the field don't just complain about it and file lawsuits. I hope they keep trying. My guess this is also occurring to minorities. I know that when I worked at a web startup in the nineties and at a very well-known software company there were several people from India who were making lower wages but didn't fight it because they were on a visa. This is just a symptom of the deep racism and sexism in this country and I these women can make a dent in it.
My point here is that I hope these younger women entering the field don't just complain about it and file lawsuits. I hope they keep trying. My guess this is also occurring to minorities. I know that when I worked at a web startup in the nineties and at a very well-known software company there were several people from India who were making lower wages but didn't fight it because they were on a visa. This is just a symptom of the deep racism and sexism in this country and I these women can make a dent in it.
112
Any attempt to pursue a relationship when the power differential is so obvious is, indeed, harassment, so these women have taken an important step in bringing it into the light. Establishing the standard of behavior would allow any real, non-exploitative relationships to develop after the parties actually know each other and establish mutual respect. However, Ms. Meyer indicates she was willing to be groped and kissed if that's what it took to be funded. For the behavior to stop completely, women would have to stop accepting it.
1
Mr. Cantor said "he disliked her ideas so he behaved the way he did to make her go away."
Why not just say, "I dislike your ideas so go away." Would he have behaved the same way towards a male person? He excuse is disingenuous at best.
Why not just say, "I dislike your ideas so go away." Would he have behaved the same way towards a male person? He excuse is disingenuous at best.
205
Agreed. Plus, adding to his aggression against women, Mr. Cantor had to say he disliked her ideas. Yeah right.
6
As the article briefly discussed, many of these venture capital funds aren't apologizing because they think what was done is reprehensible or sexist. They are apologizing because the hedge and mutual fund companies investing in them won't hesitate to pull the plug on bad behaviour.
The faster people realize the little emperors of Sand Hill Road wear no clothes, the sooner real investors can start cleaning up the industry and bringing tech's sky high valuations back to earth.
The faster people realize the little emperors of Sand Hill Road wear no clothes, the sooner real investors can start cleaning up the industry and bringing tech's sky high valuations back to earth.
3
What's weird to me is that these particular men think that's the way to interact with women. Did they grow up with a constant undertone of misogyny?
1
I'm surprised that anyone is surprised by this behavior, especially after the 2016 election.
It is simple: in its collective behavior, Americans hate women, and even more than they hate minorities or the LGBT community. The evidence is there every day.
Until this changes - and the bulk of the world is way, way ahead of us in this - we cannot be surprised.
It is simple: in its collective behavior, Americans hate women, and even more than they hate minorities or the LGBT community. The evidence is there every day.
Until this changes - and the bulk of the world is way, way ahead of us in this - we cannot be surprised.
5
Well, the thing is: men are pigs. We are. But most of us (the so-called 'decent guys,'--still pigs though) do that in their heads ("I would love to...and then...and then...and...") That's nature. The smart men (I wonder who that could be--moi?) treat women one way and one way only--with variations for personality, of course, but that way--and I am talking about older men and younger women--that way is to treat women with absolute, undeniable respect.
Look stupids, women detect EVERYTHING. It's nature. They've been practicing that since age 2! you think they're not on to you? Do you know when doing THAT and saying THAT is going to succeed for you? Never.
Not in a business environment or any environment with smart women. So stop it! Do everything business-like. That's all, and that's all women want from you. Act like you're doing what you should be doing. That's working by the way.
You do that and you may or may not work you're way into a woman's heart at work. At the very least, you will have gained her respect.
And I mean ALL OF THEM! Including the hot young receptionist! (See what a pig I am.)
Otherwise, man, break out that roll that makes you feel so hot and horny, and go you know where and PAY FOR IT!! But if that's the way you're going to act at work...just don't do it anymore.
Look stupids, women detect EVERYTHING. It's nature. They've been practicing that since age 2! you think they're not on to you? Do you know when doing THAT and saying THAT is going to succeed for you? Never.
Not in a business environment or any environment with smart women. So stop it! Do everything business-like. That's all, and that's all women want from you. Act like you're doing what you should be doing. That's working by the way.
You do that and you may or may not work you're way into a woman's heart at work. At the very least, you will have gained her respect.
And I mean ALL OF THEM! Including the hot young receptionist! (See what a pig I am.)
Otherwise, man, break out that roll that makes you feel so hot and horny, and go you know where and PAY FOR IT!! But if that's the way you're going to act at work...just don't do it anymore.
2
In the early 90s, I pitched to an elderly VC pioneer, whose primary advice was that I did not need to be "aggressive", and needed to understand that misogyny was all in the past.
3
Thank you for this important piece which has been rocking Silicon Valley even before it was published. All of a sudden denials became mea culpas, written in Marianne Williamson-like saccharine language . Solid reporting following the courage of the first women to speak out in tech blogs like Pando.
1
While there is so much to say on this topic, I would also contribute that perpetuating sexual harassment and discrimination in the workplace is not only the fault of men. By this, I mean that merely being a woman does not automatically make one an ally for women's' rights. I've known many a woman who has put down a fellow woman for complaining about harassment and sexism, insinuating that such as woman is "weak" and "can't hack it". Consequently, a woman that doesn't complain is strong and can "make it in a man's world".
In sum, we need to teach men primarily, but also young girls and women how to treat women better and more like the human beings that we are.
In sum, we need to teach men primarily, but also young girls and women how to treat women better and more like the human beings that we are.
12
Females are not about to stop using their gender and sex for preferential treatment in the workplace or in life. They understand from an early age that these things are the most powerful weapons that they have to negotiate with males who are larger, could be physically dangerous and have testosterone pulsing through them. We all know this but won't admit it because it undermines rational argument in favor of an ideal system based only on merit, fairness and objectivity. When females lose control of their negotiation with males they understand, too, that the culture allows them to cry foul, and although that fall back power tactic is less effective and messy because it requires a sympathetic audience, it is still one that some stubborn players use who refuse to accept defeat in the negotiation. We are not gods living in a Platonic ideal state; we are animals, and we behave like what we are. Unti we are extinct as a species both genders will keep dancing this biological dance to gain social advantage. How well we cope with it is a gauge of how important civilized behavior is to our survival.
19
Your remarks might make more sense if there weren't such a power imbalance.
2
You argue that women 'use' their gender for gain --the classic argument blaming women for simply possessing attributes that men find sexually stimulating -- but you don't define 'use.'
A similar argument is made when women are forced to cover themselves in places like Saudi Arabia -- that simply existing in a man's world is to tempt men beyond their abilities to control themselves. Where does this logic stop?? Is having money too great a temptation to the thief? Is being Black too great a temptation to the racist? Because we can reason and we can choose we are greater than just animals. It's our choices that define who we are, not our urges.
A similar argument is made when women are forced to cover themselves in places like Saudi Arabia -- that simply existing in a man's world is to tempt men beyond their abilities to control themselves. Where does this logic stop?? Is having money too great a temptation to the thief? Is being Black too great a temptation to the racist? Because we can reason and we can choose we are greater than just animals. It's our choices that define who we are, not our urges.
3
wow. you really don't get it do you? these men, just like in Hollywood and DC, have the money, and the power. and think they are God's gift, and that the women "like it" or are "asking for it", just like you imply above. too bad these guys don't realize, it's ONLY their money, and not who they are as people, that is working for them, and under duress, not because the guys are worth it. Sad.
3
But, hasn't the current President of the USA said/implied this behavior is OKAY?
17
Yes, of course - that must be it. Because we all knows that sexual harassment never existed before Trump became President
1
Long overdue. I cringe a little every time I hear a woman say she feels she can't say anything to stop inappropriate behavior. I understand why, of course. She has to support herself and possibly a family. But if it happens to her, it's more effective in stopping harassment if she speaks up, names names, and documents everything.
If she can't speak up, someone else has to do it for her, and that sends the message that women in the workplace need men in the office to shield them from unpleasantness.
If she can't speak up, someone else has to do it for her, and that sends the message that women in the workplace need men in the office to shield them from unpleasantness.
14
Sexual harassment in the workplace needs more teaching about it and how to oppose it in high school and in college. Too many women and men are not prepared for it or worse, they grew up in an environment where harassment was acceptable and something you have to live with if you want to advance within your place of employment.
6
Obviously, things haven't changed in 50 years.
The same sort of things happened when I started work in a research lab in the early 60s. Fortunately for me, my first boss alerted me to which ones to avoid. Also some in the group were well known adventurers with women. I quickly learned which men to avoid or always keep a safe distance from. My boss helped by informing each of these boys that I kicked.
The same sort of things happened when I started work in a research lab in the early 60s. Fortunately for me, my first boss alerted me to which ones to avoid. Also some in the group were well known adventurers with women. I quickly learned which men to avoid or always keep a safe distance from. My boss helped by informing each of these boys that I kicked.
15
You could have easily obtained just as many horror stories from men in technical fields.
The plural of anecdote is not data.
The plural of anecdote is not data.
12
Really? If you have data, feel free to share it. Generalized statements without specifics don't even count as anecdotes.
21
Thanks for the reply Avarren - you really think that neither I nor any males worker can provide anecdotes of bad bosses?
They have made entire movies and written books about the subject.
They have made entire movies and written books about the subject.
1
If we can't quantify it with a significant sample, then it's not worth our time? What a twist on silencing what has been a historical and persuasive problem for women.
2
As a retired classroom High Schol teacher, I believe we do need to address this issue. Having taught in both parochial and public schools, there is a big difference in preparing young people for the life ahead of them. Perhaps we should be teaching the same universal values in public high schools which are taught in parochial high schools. Growing up as a bilingual French speaker, my father taught me to avoid harassment by not speaking English as I attended high school in Southern California. I have personally experienced this ignorance in the professional world and was given advice by a professional female mentor in education in 2010 at a conference. The comment was "Ignore ignorance." which is good advice but this does not change society. Teaching philosophy and ethics in public high schools as is taught in parochial high schools might help with this societal problem.
10
I was hired to teach math. I was not hired to do a parent's job of teaching morals and appropriate behavior. Parents are responsible for teaching their children how to behave. Why don't you call out parents for their neglect in doing this? And, just, exactly what are your "universal values" taught in a parochial school? I'm not about to introduce religion into a public school classroom. Again, that is a parent's responsibility.
11
The arts and humanities aren't any different. We all know about the film and TV industries, but it's in the universities and the museums, and in publishing, too. Tech gets a lot of attention because it's an economic darling, but it's not just tech.
25
In my 30+ years in tech (much of it academic) I have never seen this. I don't deny that it exists: I have heard about it once or twice from a victim, and have avoided the perpetrators. The many-layered challenges women face as minorities in tech is well documented and understood by those paying attention (e.g., see the book "She's Such a Geek"). I hope for a more welcoming environment and greater participation for women in tech, and freedom for women to be who they are and express themselves without fear. And they are much more prominent in tech than they once were. But this issue needs more attention. What is described here is clear misconduct given the power relationships, and should be punishable, and would be in most workplace settings. The larger question of how men and women navigate/balance personal+professional relationships seems a much deeper question. It is a question of manners, decency, courtesy, respect, and it needs to be taught frankly at an early age. The deep fear of sexuality in our (US) culture makes this necessary education taboo, and the value placed on dominance within our culture promotes an "anything goes" mentality among too many of our men. I hope that women recognize that it is not all of us, and that they have the personal power to "take back the night" and assert their right to respect and courtesy and freedom from coercion and harrassment when they perceive that a man is crossing the line.
12
Yes we know that, but we always pay the price for it regardless.
In 1976 I was the first woman hired as a sales representative for the market share leader of a male product in the consumer-packaged goods industry. As I worked the northern California territory, rarely did I encounter another woman as a sales rep, store manager, or category buyer. I attended national sales meetings with 599 men and me, not everyone saw me as their hardworking peer. I encountered company policies written for married men with families. I faced off with cigar-smoking buyers who tried to corner me in the warehouses--egos were bruised. With no female role models or mentors I had no choice but to write my own rules. I fought every discriminatory policy--yep, got the manual revised-- battled sexual advances from buyers and peers and when promoted to a headquarter position I faced a different set of challenges from guys who worked the factory floor to those who ran the company. Moving on in my career, I had men sitting next to me in meetings slip me notes with their hotels and room numbers. In a new business meeting, a prospective client told me I had the business if I would go away with him. Oops, I didn't mean to spill the glass of red wine all over you. I traveled with male bosses who asked if I want to share a room with them. All of this is to say, this has gone on long enough. It exhausting to have to fight these battles when all the energy should go to the business you are creating.
78
Sexual harassment is a serious problem that needs to be fixed wherever it happens. It would be nice if this story gave us an inkling of its frequency, but it does not. This anecdotal data is intriguing but in the absence of actual statistics ultimately not really informative.
12
'It doesn't contain statistical information. Therefore it is not informative.' Have to say I disagree with sweeping statement. The article contains plenty of information.
3
Neither technology nor money is ennobling. Why does any of this come as a surprise?
12
We live in a money society. Money bestows power to those that have it over those that don't.
As Goethe noted, the enfeebled noble can purchase with silver coins the fleetest of horses and speed through the night while the noble's peasant hand makes his/her way but slowly through the mud. Money makes the weak strong and the strong weak.
However, power is not necessarily, and indeed, rarely coincident with wisdom, grace, and decency. Granting power without those moderating influences leads straight to abuse. Contemporary American politics is an object lesson on the grandest of scales.
The freedom of a money economy is a very peculiar, one-sided, and narrowly defined sort of freedom. If money has no conscience how can the market always be right? That's an illusion and sophistry of the worst sort.
The restoration of liberty, fraternity, and equality as social goals should rightly triumph over the unalloyed pursuit of money and all the egregious consequences. Kudos to those that fight against such abuses in all its forms.
As Goethe noted, the enfeebled noble can purchase with silver coins the fleetest of horses and speed through the night while the noble's peasant hand makes his/her way but slowly through the mud. Money makes the weak strong and the strong weak.
However, power is not necessarily, and indeed, rarely coincident with wisdom, grace, and decency. Granting power without those moderating influences leads straight to abuse. Contemporary American politics is an object lesson on the grandest of scales.
The freedom of a money economy is a very peculiar, one-sided, and narrowly defined sort of freedom. If money has no conscience how can the market always be right? That's an illusion and sophistry of the worst sort.
The restoration of liberty, fraternity, and equality as social goals should rightly triumph over the unalloyed pursuit of money and all the egregious consequences. Kudos to those that fight against such abuses in all its forms.
12
Where are the men? Where are the men who know good and well this is happening, who actually witness this happening and stay silent? A few "Hey man, that's not cool." comments would go a long way. I'd like to see an article about men coming forward to speak out about sexual harassment in the workplace. Or would that be one short article?
68
I've worked in tech for 30+ years. I don't know what this article is talking about because it is inconsistent with my observations.
Of course, we would not tolerate abuse of our colleagues female or male. We spend 80 or 90 hours a week working with them and we are generally highly intelligent people.
Perhaps they are talking about what goes on at that the executive level. Sadly, I can't comment on that.
A culture of harassment? Among the 99% of tech workers who are not executives? Not on this planet
Of course, we would not tolerate abuse of our colleagues female or male. We spend 80 or 90 hours a week working with them and we are generally highly intelligent people.
Perhaps they are talking about what goes on at that the executive level. Sadly, I can't comment on that.
A culture of harassment? Among the 99% of tech workers who are not executives? Not on this planet
6
I work for a technology company — our CEO (male) made a very clear and forceful statement against the behavior of Caldback and others like him yesterday in a company meeting. It wasn't just a throwaway comment. He took the time to say more than once that absolutely everyone should feel comfortable at work and report anything that made them feel uncomfortable, always, and that any kind of harassment or discrimination was unacceptable. It's not a perfect company and we could make improvements on diversity and inclusion, but I was very proud that he took the time, when we were celebrating a big success and he could have ignored it, to say this and make our company's values clear.
153
I work in the architecture/engineering industry and sexual harassment happens on a daily basis. Many times fellow colleagues don't see it happening because while some of the harassment is in the open, a majority is subtle, happening in private. A lot of women in my field knew what was happening, recognized they were feeling bad for years but couldn't quite put their finger on it. We has a culture think this is how things are and don't even notice what is wrong until people are awakened to the problems. Folks, plenty is wrong! Let me tell you...the world could be so different but we as Americans think this is the best we can do. We must do better!
In my field, sexual harassment is rampant and so rampant that lawyers come into the office and give talks to the firm yearly about what is and isn't appropriate. It's a sad world we live in, when grown professional adults need to be told how to act.
In my field, sexual harassment is rampant and so rampant that lawyers come into the office and give talks to the firm yearly about what is and isn't appropriate. It's a sad world we live in, when grown professional adults need to be told how to act.
5
Fintech is rampant with sexist VC/Leadership. I've been able to monetize the ineptitude and incompetence of male investors and leadership by simply shorting their stocks. Lending Club and Ondeck are great examples.
19
If there are no laws, and there is no enforcement, then there can be no justice. The tech industry should be made to finance a legal team to deal with such sexual harassment problems.
8
It will work itself out eventually. It will take growth and adaptation on both sides. If you don't think alpha type guys "harass" each other guess again. Girls be less sensitive, guys be more sensitive.
4
Be less sensitive? Come live and work in this environment and THEN tell us that.
2
This is just baffling to me and I suspect many other men. I worked in finance all my life (1 commercial bank then 2 investment banks then two private equity financed roll-ups) and never ever saw any kind of harassment like this or heard it joked about. In every situation I have been including my fraternity more than 20 years ago, if your advances are not being reciprocated and you continue to make them then you are considered a loser at best and more likely a creep. I've worked with George Clooney type studs and shy geeks but never ever sent this. Not disputing it just saying I think may men don't take action or even sympathize because they never see this.
8
The point of the article is advances shouldn't be made at all in a professional setting, especially with these huge power imbalances between investors and the women seeking funding. It makes them feel obligated to comply or lose funding or possible future funding.
29
I appreciate hearing your perspective, Aurther. Now that I think about it, I have never been sexually harassed in front of others. It has always been when I happened to be alone with a co-worker - in a one-on one conversation or on the way to a meeting. I worked at a private religious college in my late 20s. One day as I was microwaving my lunch in the break room a coworker about 30 years older happened to be there at the same time as me. We started talking, and he suggested that he take off his clothes! I just remember looking at my chicken noodle soup in the microwave and trying in shock to find the right words. I finally said, "That is not appropriate for the workplace." (I did report him to HR.)
Apparently, a lot of men know what they are doing is wrong since they keep their actions a secret from other men.
Apparently, a lot of men know what they are doing is wrong since they keep their actions a secret from other men.
4
What makes you think you would "see" this? It's not like a guy who does this is going to blatantly do it in front of you.
2
This is true of every industry, every science, academic or not. Some people in power try to use their for the sexual benefit. It's sad, but true.
11
My male gentleman friend quotes a stock exchange mentor: "Don't dip your pen in company ink." Nice! Pass it on!
I personally have been propositioned/sexually harrassed by my bosses, colleagues, yard men, friends, guests, family members...mostly male, but not exclusively. (Luckily, I was raped only once.)
Sexual tension between the sexes seems universal and eternal; in my experience, it's not exclusive to any environment.
I personally have been propositioned/sexually harrassed by my bosses, colleagues, yard men, friends, guests, family members...mostly male, but not exclusively. (Luckily, I was raped only once.)
Sexual tension between the sexes seems universal and eternal; in my experience, it's not exclusive to any environment.
17
“I felt like I had to tolerate it because this is the cost of being a nonwhite female founder,” said Ms. Meyer, who is Asian-American.
Non-white or white, the disadvantage is being female.
Non-white or white, the disadvantage is being female.
18
Asian Americans have higher average incomes, so I'd say on the whole that is definitely not a disadvantage.
4
So, it's all about the money. Because Asian-Americans have a higher average income that means it is not an issue? Or shouldn't be an issue?
2
This is all about greed and power. It's not enough that venture capitalists want to make their money on the backs of others. You must apparently be on your back as well.
8
These most often aren't sexual advances, they are smackdowns. They are putting women in their place, telling them they do not belong in the world which they are attempting to enter. Yes, they may be objectifying them, but with the purpose of ostracism, not conquest.
30
The uncomfortable "elephant in the room" in this recurring issue of sexual harassment is the fact that men are seething beneath their breath that why women would dress and behave the way they do to provoke them, taunt them and then complain that they reacted in predictable way ?
I am a woman but I do sympathize at some level at this simple logic. Men successful in tech VC world, especially, are the ones who drove hard after what they found attractive and were handsomely compensated. It is not surprising they apply this logic to women. At the same time, women, or men for that matter, should not be punished for making themselves attractive as that is a desire fundamentally human. The lesson therefore that needs to be taught in society early on is the one that you learn to appreciate physical attraction of other people but separate the attraction from your business, what you are paid to do. That lesson unfortunately seems to be largely missing in American education system.
I find it akin to men holding doors for women -- OK we can actually open doors ourselves, come on, but still it is nice that men hold doors for courtesy. It is "play" that we both enjoy under the common understanding that it is indeed a play. But why not ? World is full of crude behaviors, why not enjoy a little piece of courtesy ? Somewhat akin to this, appreciating physical beauty of other should be considered an oasis, a bonus in one's life, not something you should go after like an animal.
I am a woman but I do sympathize at some level at this simple logic. Men successful in tech VC world, especially, are the ones who drove hard after what they found attractive and were handsomely compensated. It is not surprising they apply this logic to women. At the same time, women, or men for that matter, should not be punished for making themselves attractive as that is a desire fundamentally human. The lesson therefore that needs to be taught in society early on is the one that you learn to appreciate physical attraction of other people but separate the attraction from your business, what you are paid to do. That lesson unfortunately seems to be largely missing in American education system.
I find it akin to men holding doors for women -- OK we can actually open doors ourselves, come on, but still it is nice that men hold doors for courtesy. It is "play" that we both enjoy under the common understanding that it is indeed a play. But why not ? World is full of crude behaviors, why not enjoy a little piece of courtesy ? Somewhat akin to this, appreciating physical beauty of other should be considered an oasis, a bonus in one's life, not something you should go after like an animal.
12
Again, it is not my responsibility as a teacher to teach your children morals. That is YOUR job as a parent.
1
"Saying anything, the women were warned, might lead to ostracism."
this is the basic conundrum of the whistle blower, male or female.
more violent groups have snitches or omerta, and most violence other than domestic violence male-on-male violence.
it's really about basic civility--not killing, not raping, not stealing, not coercing, not deceiving.
but a basic biological problem is that men are more aggressive sexually and aggressive otherwise. maybe unpleasant, but true. otherwise, the article would not have been written. that is why rules and laws (such as marriage) have to be set up and enforced by the government or another third party.
this is the basic conundrum of the whistle blower, male or female.
more violent groups have snitches or omerta, and most violence other than domestic violence male-on-male violence.
it's really about basic civility--not killing, not raping, not stealing, not coercing, not deceiving.
but a basic biological problem is that men are more aggressive sexually and aggressive otherwise. maybe unpleasant, but true. otherwise, the article would not have been written. that is why rules and laws (such as marriage) have to be set up and enforced by the government or another third party.
7
No thats just an excuse. The problem is our patriarchal and religious beliefs condone this behavior.
1
It's not just tech; this behavior occurs wherever there are men with too much power and too little integrity. Men use and abuse women to prop up their fragile self-esteem, and society lets them. I've had to quit more than one job because my boss was harassing me. One day, I had enough. Months after settling a sexual harassment lawsuit at Fox, however, I was groped and kissed at my next job, by a professor at the UCLA School of Law who led me to believe he wanted to mentor me. This--THIS is why women cry at scenes of female heroism and empowerment in "Wonder Woman."
34
I am very proud of these women. Sexual harassment has been around even during my time working in NYC in the 60s when 19 and attractive. Several times I was close to being raped, I was harassed and quit a job I licked because of same. Discrimination in the workplace apparently is as rampant now as it was then. Women and sane Men need to speak out and decry sexual advances. Keep fighting, young women, it is not over yet. Discrimination in all areas and sexual harassment should not be tolerated.
14
After college I went to work in the Garment Center. It was 1975. The harrasment was endless. Young men, old men co-workers and clients. Business trips were the worst. And it didn't end in the office. A walk on the street brought cat calls from the cart pushers and construction workers. Some days you just wanted to go back to your apartment and not leave. I can't believe so little has changed. Don't these men have mothers, sisters, women in their lives that they wouldn't want treated this way. Frankly it's just depressing.
22
I have been working as a programmer for 30 years and I am going to tell younger women something they don't want to hear. Dress conservatively on the job. Avoid tight or revealing clothing. No, it isn't fair and yes, you should be judged on your work alone. But then there's reality. The woman on the left in the photo is wearing a skirt that will cause her to be taken less than seriously. I say this because I want you to succeed and men have not changed that much in the past 30 years.
28
When I worked at the NYSE in 1981- 1982 I invested in a wardrobe of Dress for Success Michael Malloy long or knee length conservative wool suits. I really liked them as daily wear but there were still inappropriate comments.
9
So, by your suggestion, we should treat men as children, with no self-control, no levels of professionalism, no personal morality or ethics? I think that once you go down the road of putting the onus on the target of such behavior and not the perpetrator, you are in the wrong.
This is part of the problem - women who buy into this kind of thinking, judging other women by the standards of some men. How does that not make you complicit in such behavior? Many of us already live constrained lives, afraid to do or say the wrong thing, lest we be accused of flirting or "asking for it". Do you get to decide how long our skirts are, if we wear makeup or heels, if we smile or not? Where's that list of rules we have to follow? Do you see how problematic your line of thought is?
This is part of the problem - women who buy into this kind of thinking, judging other women by the standards of some men. How does that not make you complicit in such behavior? Many of us already live constrained lives, afraid to do or say the wrong thing, lest we be accused of flirting or "asking for it". Do you get to decide how long our skirts are, if we wear makeup or heels, if we smile or not? Where's that list of rules we have to follow? Do you see how problematic your line of thought is?
3
Then they need to.
2
The only Americans I see who deny that this is an issue are usually Republicans. Everyone else, whether apolitical, Democrat, or what have you, acknowledges that this issue, like racism, is still a widespread national issue.
9
Someday I will understand the dichotomy of the situation. Women make themselves attractive and desirable (nothing inherently wrong here) but then take umbrage at the fact that it has been noticed. Example: In the picture the attractive Ms. Humphreys is dressed and posed in such a manner as to draw attention - and admittedly has succeeded. I suspect that this comment alone will draw negativism. And there, simplistically you have it.
But yes, professionally one must stick to the business at hand but understand that not all complements are leads to something else.
But yes, professionally one must stick to the business at hand but understand that not all complements are leads to something else.
13
Did you not read the part about the repeated and increasingly sexual messages being sent some of these women? Spin it any way you want, it's simply inappropriate in the workplace, especially when the imbalance of power is obvious. Men need to stop making excuses for their bad behavior as well as that of their colleagues. "She dressed provocatively" is number one in the list of invalid excuses.
3
I notice attractive men all the time, but somehow I've figured out how to keep my admiration to myself. I manage not to cat-call them or approach them with demands for sex, and in fact it has never occurred to me to do so. You know, because I'm an adult with self-control and respect for others.
5
Any fisherman knows that they have to bait the hook with something they know the fish will bite at. Anything he doesn't want to keep he throws back. In fisherwoman's case, file a complaint and sue for harassment. Who needs fish when you can have hard cash instead.
The women who have been harassed need to speak up and make it clear that there is a level playing field. No advantage or disadvantage to being male or female, no mixing of business and flirtatious behavior, no quid pro quo period for mentors or investors. Too many are cowed and some encourage the attention they claim to revile as the world of wealthy young successful men makes them lower their own standards of behavior. Be forthright and take no bullying.
That sounds great! Where will you be depositing the funds women will need to live off when their standing up for themselves leads to being dead-ended at work, fired, unfunded, etc.?
3
Congratulations to these courageous women for naming their harassers and to the Times for its reporting.
The behavior of these investors and advisors is unacceptable. I hope that the financial repercussions suffered by Binary Capital will become routine in the case of firms that harass female entrepreneurs and job seekers. Without bright lines and financial or professional repercussions, nothing will change.
Also very sad: that many/most of the victims felt that they had to tolerate their harassers to acquire capital. Lindsay Meyer's comment that she had to further accommodate harassment because she is non-white is heartbreaking.
As to the photographs accompanying this story: 1)It would have been appropriate to include photographs of the harassers, not just the victims; 2)the decision to photograph one of the female entrepreneurs in cutoffs was a poor one-- even if unintended, the photograph sexualizes this very serious problem.
The behavior of these investors and advisors is unacceptable. I hope that the financial repercussions suffered by Binary Capital will become routine in the case of firms that harass female entrepreneurs and job seekers. Without bright lines and financial or professional repercussions, nothing will change.
Also very sad: that many/most of the victims felt that they had to tolerate their harassers to acquire capital. Lindsay Meyer's comment that she had to further accommodate harassment because she is non-white is heartbreaking.
As to the photographs accompanying this story: 1)It would have been appropriate to include photographs of the harassers, not just the victims; 2)the decision to photograph one of the female entrepreneurs in cutoffs was a poor one-- even if unintended, the photograph sexualizes this very serious problem.
17
It’s simple, you don't flirt or hit on someone you have power over. This article, which consists of a few disturbing anecdotes, does not convince me that this is pervasive in the valley. Some men and women will always behave badly and it will always be possible to find horror stories.
When you are dealing with any kind of workplace harassment you are dealing with perceptions and people react differently, what one woman is offended by, another may just shrug off. People are often unsure of how to behave. The situations are often he said, she said and that makes it harder to eliminate them. I would love to live in a world where no one is ever offended or treated unfairly but I don’t know how to pass laws to perfect human beings. It is too easy to lump the innocent in with the guilty when it comes to seeking out harassers. We cannot let horror stories lead us to throw away the presumption of innocence.
Companies must investigate complaints and educate their workers and maybe one day the culture will change. My parents taught me to be polite and that what I try to be, especially with my fellow workers. No one can succeed all the time, people have bad days. However, teaching little boys and girls to be polite might be a good place to start.
We live in culture where violence and pornography are pervasive, we are coarse and uncivil in our politics and yet we are constantly surprised when people aren’t nice.
When you are dealing with any kind of workplace harassment you are dealing with perceptions and people react differently, what one woman is offended by, another may just shrug off. People are often unsure of how to behave. The situations are often he said, she said and that makes it harder to eliminate them. I would love to live in a world where no one is ever offended or treated unfairly but I don’t know how to pass laws to perfect human beings. It is too easy to lump the innocent in with the guilty when it comes to seeking out harassers. We cannot let horror stories lead us to throw away the presumption of innocence.
Companies must investigate complaints and educate their workers and maybe one day the culture will change. My parents taught me to be polite and that what I try to be, especially with my fellow workers. No one can succeed all the time, people have bad days. However, teaching little boys and girls to be polite might be a good place to start.
We live in culture where violence and pornography are pervasive, we are coarse and uncivil in our politics and yet we are constantly surprised when people aren’t nice.
12
Wow, you sure managed to throw in a lot of the "she's lying!" and "both sides!" and "it's just human nature!" and "Well I've never seen it!" arguments that men have used for eons to get away with improper behavior. It's not a "bad day" when a man takes a woman aside and harasses or threatens her livelihood. It's not a lack of politeness that forces women to grin and bear it if they want to advance. We live in a systemically sexist culture that you refuse to stipulate to. You are part of the problem.
3
If you are indeed a male, as your screen name suggests, then you are probably never going to have the proof that is so obviously needed unless you start having very upfront conversations with the women you know. I guarantee you will be shocked to learn how many of the females you interact with on a daily basis have been harassed, assaulted, and raped.
3
Benjamin Greco: Let me assure you that this sexual harassment behavior and other verbal degradation is alive in the law firms in Palo Alto and SF.
2
Is it me, or is the picture im this story sexist? I don't recall a shot like this of men, posed. So ironic...sigh.
65
The photo is sexist!
2
Not really. What do you want, dress them in Burkas? The women can choose what they want to wear, how to dress, whether to wear a suit or not. We are a species of mammal run by the biological imperative, like the other mammals, so when you see someone of the opposite sex who is still at the reproducing stage/age, you might notice. It's how you act or don't act on that, in given circumstances, that writes the story of sexism.
3
Is it the clothing that appears sexist to you? Their postures? I see women in casual or workout clothing; one woman appears to have just completed a series of stadiums (?). I didn't see any of the photos as inappropriate or flirtatious or provocative.
2
Look at the POTUS. He thinks treatment of women with integrity is a joke. So should any of this surprise us? Even his wife joked, locker room behavior, as if it's all just ok. It's called trickle down morals.
When I was a young healthcare provider we were supposed (and required) to jump up off our chairs to give male doctors a seat. They sure didn't try to kiss us though. That I know of....maybe some did!
Will this ever end?
When I was a young healthcare provider we were supposed (and required) to jump up off our chairs to give male doctors a seat. They sure didn't try to kiss us though. That I know of....maybe some did!
Will this ever end?
7
This reminds me of a braggart, lazy, uninformed, incurious 71-year-old privileged white guy who thinks he can say, do, take or grab anything he wants without anyone else's permission because he's the "only one who can fix it." ... and, he claims to have money!
Is this socially responsible behavior?
Oh, wait ....
Is this socially responsible behavior?
Oh, wait ....
14
From catcalls in the street to Anita Hill to high school hallways, sexual harassment (and more) happens whenever the sexes meet. Some women might use their sexuality to their advantage (no judgement) while others would rather die than do that to get ahead. Men get mixed messages. However this does not excuse the behavior written in this article. But we should also admit that many people meet and begin dating in the workplace and sometimes there is a power differential. How do we navigate that while still maintaining a safe and respectful environment? Some institutions offer sexual harassment courses so that men and women can at least try to get on the same page. At least everything is out in the open. It couldn't hurt.
2
And yet the current vice president was heavily criticized for never being alone in a room with a female other than his wife.
I suspect if this "men are all harassers and should be punished for it" narrative is increasing drummed into all of us, the end result will be that men will limit ANY interactions with women at work, to avoid career-ending, reputation-damaging accusations from a female coworker or subordinate.
If you don't want men to talk to you at all, at work, columns like these are a great way to accomplish just that.
I suspect if this "men are all harassers and should be punished for it" narrative is increasing drummed into all of us, the end result will be that men will limit ANY interactions with women at work, to avoid career-ending, reputation-damaging accusations from a female coworker or subordinate.
If you don't want men to talk to you at all, at work, columns like these are a great way to accomplish just that.
Clearly this is just the tip of the iceberg. Why limit this coverage to only the realm of CA VCs and tech companies? This is also happening in tech startups in other parts of the US. It's also a reality at companies large and small in other vertical markets, and covering those stories instead of just tech would help to illustrate how pervasive and insidious this is. Unfortunately fellow women sharing their past experiences with this behavior in these comment threads is unlikely to yield the change that's needed. That said, sharing our stories does validate that this is happening every day in US workplaces. During my twenty plus years of corporate work experience, much of it in sales roles at tech companies, I was sexually harassed by male colleagues, and unwelcome sexual advances were made by male clients and potential clients. I grew a very hard shell to cope with the toxic environments. It was small consolation that I won sales awards and my sales performance far exceeded that of these male sales representatives. It is important for society to support ethical men who speak out against this behavior.
12
Good luck earning a living!
4
Regrettable stories, but good that these women and the NY Times publicize these allegations. I think the Times is correct to name the alleged perpetrators.
12
And they all wore make-up to the interview
5
What's wrong with that? Men shave their faces? Is that an issue? Most women wear makeup for themselves, because they like it. They don't wear it to please some guy.
14
"They all wore makeup to the interview" Not sure if you're implying that makes their harassment valid, justified, or what?? You're very sadly mistaken and possibly part of the problem, if you feel that makeup is a signal that a woman wants to be hit on or harassed in any way. Makeup is just makeup. Really. Like wearing shiny shoes or a watch or a certain color.
1
Toughen up a bit, or you're really not going to succeed.
6
I copied explicit emails and asked "what did they mean" to force them to clarify. Then I sent the emails to wives. Is that what you meant by "tough up"? The wives often just wanted to hold on for the money but at least they had information for the inevitable eventual divorce.
2
For more insight read the cover article "Why Is Silicon Valley So Awful to Women?" in the April 2017 issue of The Atlantic.
8
Men are also subject to harassment. A male photographer friend once comlained to me that he was being propositioned by male Art Directors.
14
Its not the first article about herrassememt in the nyt. But all this article common is the extrem scale making every word or glimpse an attack against "women". I can't support that.
For me it has been always the thrill of life and what the nyt is complaining is in principle sexual incompetence of a few women. Women in leading positions i know are mostly single . They are fighting all around 24h day and night ending in burnout some day.
A successful man is supported . Without coarseness life would be boaring. Don't let us end like in Saudi Arabia.
For me it has been always the thrill of life and what the nyt is complaining is in principle sexual incompetence of a few women. Women in leading positions i know are mostly single . They are fighting all around 24h day and night ending in burnout some day.
A successful man is supported . Without coarseness life would be boaring. Don't let us end like in Saudi Arabia.
2
Again, stop bringing up Ellen Pao. Ellen slept with her boss, a fact she admitted in trial, which shot her credibility and led to the jury disbelieving her follow up claims of sexual harassment. Every single one of the women in this article have more credibility than Ellen Pao, who actually damaged the claims of other women around the real issue of sexual harassment in the Valley.
18
Thank you. The Pao case was a travesty for Silicon Valley women.
2
I watched with my own eyes a comely female attorney take up with a prominent, much older Valley VC, break up his marriage and maneuver herself into a substantial promotion (now a startup CEO). That was 17 years ago. She is still doing great. Sex and all its fathomless complexities is not going away. Meg Whitman, Carly Fiorina, Carol Bartz, Sheryl Sandberg, Marissa Meyer, Ginny Rometty, K Harris, Diane Feinstein, Nancy Pelosi,...sure, i'll bet each encountered multiple louts along the way. They handled it along with the other obstacles life throws at you.
13
Generally speaking, I agree that sexual harassment needs to be dealt with. But I just googled one of the woman mentioned in this article, and several photographs show her wearing a very low cut, cleavage-baring dress. If the women in Silicon Valley (and Hollywood, and other places) do not want to be sexually objectified, then they need to stop contributing to the problem by sending mixed messages about how they want to be viewed. Do they want to be seen as professional businesswomen, or do they want to be seen as sexually flirtatious "babes"? When I go to work, I always dress professionally, so my intentions are crystal clear. Even when I go out socially, I am not magically transformed into a sex kitten with side boob and thigh-baring skirts. I have always been taken seriously as a professional, and I have never been sexually harassed--whether young or middle-aged.
31
Sheena, if you haven't had this happen to you, you've just been lucky- during all my years working so far I've worn only highly conservative clothing, covering up nearly every inch of my body, yet this still happened to me. Stop with the false assumptions about clothing, and stop with the victim blaming.
13
Sheena, I agree with you to some extent. However, not all women wearing revealing clothes are asking to be hit on. It can be distracting, but men will just have to learn to control their impulses. In an ideal world, we should all wear whatever we want and be treated with respect and equality.
12
I don't think everyone should be able to do anything they want and we should all live in peace and harmony. There are cultural expectations for different industries, and by opting to join an industry one is opting to meet those cultural expectations. If I don't want to curse and rap, I don't become a rap artist. A college professor who is female should not wear a miniskirt to lecture to her class. And a male college professor should not lecture to a class in tight shorts. Adults have to make their own professional choices and expect to meet the consequences of those choices, and dressing appropriately for one's professional culture is one of those consequences.
I understand these men and their companies are really really sorry. Their words would mean more if backed up by actual funding. Put $$ where apologies are and then maybe something will change.
7
Where are the stand-up men who will come forward and say OK, Enough is Enough! We support fairness in the workplace for women and mean it with action following words!
7
I don't want to hear these guys are getting counselling or have regrets. I want to hear that they're getting fired. Every. Last. One of them.
23
To all women everywhere. Please let me apologize for my gender's continued bad behavior in this area. This is more complicated than most people consider which is why it's still a problem. For whatever reason, be it historical treatment of women as possessions, men's yearning to be "studs" or some genetic hard wiring we don't yet completely understand, the first thing that enters the mind of a typical man when encountering an attractive woman is sex. Business matters somehow become a secondary issue under these circumstances in spite of the new ideas, input and endless revolutionary benefits of supporting women in business. I'll never understand why any man would chose to lose out on these business possibilities due to a simple rejection of a come on. And what man really wants to be with a woman who doesn't have the same attraction to him as he may have to her? It makes no sense. Please consider how long it took for women to get the right to vote. The majority of decent males are getting the message, aside from the few who are empowered to always have their own way, so please continue to expose those men and continue to tell your stories and hold your ground. All women are truly a gift that have been taken for granted for too long. The more pressure you apply the easier it will be for the rest of us to shame the fools that behave in this inappropriate way into changing their behavior. You'll get there and most of us guys do have your back so just keep it up.
7
A former student of mine applied for a job at one of the CUNY colleges. One of the women on the interviewing committee wanted to "fix her up" with her son.
This was not sexual harassment as such, but it was inapopriate use of the interviewing woman's power.
She did not eventually take the CUNY offer, but what deterred her was not the suggestion of a "fix" with the woman professor's son, but the humongous teaching load for the faculty at CUNY.
This was not sexual harassment as such, but it was inapopriate use of the interviewing woman's power.
She did not eventually take the CUNY offer, but what deterred her was not the suggestion of a "fix" with the woman professor's son, but the humongous teaching load for the faculty at CUNY.
2
In an industry dominated by men, the sexual harassment is not surprising. There are those men who would do this anyway, regardless of the industry. Then there are those like Billy Bush, who are encouraged by the bullies to indulge in their fantasies. Adhering to a higher moral code requires maturity, wisdom and choice. It's not easy to be Christ-like all of the time. We humans have to "re-win Heaven" every day. I think that's the point of being a spiritual being who is having a human experience. God didn't create women for men to oppress and torment. Trump's nastiness toward women should be a warning to all of us to be more charitable. Melania's behavior should be a demonstration of the damage done to many women when they live under this oppression. Does she really condone sexual violence toward women, as her comments seem to indicate? Or is she a victim of oppression and is embracing the oppressor?
2
I have a slightly different observation. First, I'm not surprised in the slightest; Silicon Valley is filled with young, wealthy, powerful men, men who have arrived very quickly into their wealth & who surround themselves with other people who think they're awesome. Arrogance, power, & inscrutability is always a bad combination.
But to me this also highlights something else. Silicon Valley nearly all contributed to Hillary. What this highlights to me is the extreme disconnect between ideals and the reality right before our faces. This is the danger of confusing posting slogans on social media & the occasional appearance in a rally (with a picture proving you're there)-- with actual actions. As someone who works in the inner city, I see this all the time amongst my white liberal friends, who - to use one example - have literally never set foot in the inner city, and, when they want to 'help' impoverished Black folks, will literally fly halfway across the world rather than drive 5 miles. They post "This home knows no hate" on their front lawn, and truly believe that this means they are virtuous.
The Silicon Valley culture that embraces this toxic sexism is the exact same Silicon Valley culture that - with exceptions - loudly embraced Hillary & continues to embrace establishment Democrats. Of course, one can argue that "at least" they are voting for a woman so there's hope. But not when it stands for actual change. It's so easy to post things in social media & twitter.
But to me this also highlights something else. Silicon Valley nearly all contributed to Hillary. What this highlights to me is the extreme disconnect between ideals and the reality right before our faces. This is the danger of confusing posting slogans on social media & the occasional appearance in a rally (with a picture proving you're there)-- with actual actions. As someone who works in the inner city, I see this all the time amongst my white liberal friends, who - to use one example - have literally never set foot in the inner city, and, when they want to 'help' impoverished Black folks, will literally fly halfway across the world rather than drive 5 miles. They post "This home knows no hate" on their front lawn, and truly believe that this means they are virtuous.
The Silicon Valley culture that embraces this toxic sexism is the exact same Silicon Valley culture that - with exceptions - loudly embraced Hillary & continues to embrace establishment Democrats. Of course, one can argue that "at least" they are voting for a woman so there's hope. But not when it stands for actual change. It's so easy to post things in social media & twitter.
19
There's no excuse for sexual harassment, but let's not forget what's happening here: Immature Silicon Valley persons of all genders are for their own satisfaction and financial gain leading us, unimpeded and unexamined, into a world of artificial intelligence and super-mechanization that will totally unhinge America.
19
Unwanted sexual advances are disgusting but they happen in every walk of life. One thing these women could have done was to take a male companion with them to meetings. If the male investor didn't want to meet with them along with their companion it would be a pretty good indication the money was in exchange for sex which by the way some women don't object to that type of arrangement.
4
Dear Men,
Please speak up against harassment when you see it happening. We know that this is difficult for you. We know that you can lose macho points. We know that if you speak up against it, there is a good chance that the harasser will turn his attention to you and start to question your manhood; we know that denigrating women is often held as a measure of manliness, and support of women supposedly makes you weak. We know that you will be looked at differently for daring to "be on the wrong side". We know that other men may ostracize you.
Please know that these things you may experience, while difficult and unpleasant, do not even touch what many women go through almost everyday. Yes, it may be scary for one man to stand up to another, but this has to happen. We cannot do it alone. Please do not stand on the sidelines any longer and say, "oh, that's just Bob!" when you see a colleague being a creep. If you are on our side, please speak up and let that be known. Thank you.
Please speak up against harassment when you see it happening. We know that this is difficult for you. We know that you can lose macho points. We know that if you speak up against it, there is a good chance that the harasser will turn his attention to you and start to question your manhood; we know that denigrating women is often held as a measure of manliness, and support of women supposedly makes you weak. We know that you will be looked at differently for daring to "be on the wrong side". We know that other men may ostracize you.
Please know that these things you may experience, while difficult and unpleasant, do not even touch what many women go through almost everyday. Yes, it may be scary for one man to stand up to another, but this has to happen. We cannot do it alone. Please do not stand on the sidelines any longer and say, "oh, that's just Bob!" when you see a colleague being a creep. If you are on our side, please speak up and let that be known. Thank you.
322
I've spoken up when a coworker was harrassed. Not only was I ostracized, but lost my job and was solely responsible for children at the time. How exactly is this problem worse for women? If you are going to address men, do not presume that what you go through is more difficult that what we go though. That doesn't promote unity any more than when men do that to women, even when true in the majority of cases. Try instead to realize most of us are on the same side. We don't have power either and still want to help you even when not doing so hurts us and our families. Who is braver, the person who speaks up or the person who speaks up when they have nothing to gain and everything to lose?
7
You are probably unlikely to get much support if you paint all of us with the same brush. Or if you ignore women who use the gender or their sexuality to get ahead, then cry "harassment!" when they don't get their way. We are targeted enough already, when the phrase "white male" is used as epithet.
Women who are sexually harassed can simply say "no thank you, I'm not interested" or "this makes me uncomfortable, please stop."
That we men would all support.
Nodding along in agreement with blatant misandry or supporting still more laws that harm us are obviously not things we'd endorse.
Women who are sexually harassed can simply say "no thank you, I'm not interested" or "this makes me uncomfortable, please stop."
That we men would all support.
Nodding along in agreement with blatant misandry or supporting still more laws that harm us are obviously not things we'd endorse.
2
Collectively as a country, we are not at a point where we have the will to confront this situation. As proof, we elected a president who engages in this behavior and yes, he sets the tone.
14
You must be referring to President Clinton. Am I right?
1
Him and others.
1
My friend in Silicon Valley has 20 years of tech industry experience, two engineering degrees and an MBA. And she can't get a job.
She tells me that male executives welcome her into interviews, but then act weird and strangely friendly/smiley while they visibly struggle to relate to her as a professional.
Other men are harshly judgementsl and scrutinize every interaction, taking any error or mishap as confirmation of inferiority and incompetence. Next!
So based one these small samples it does seem that the men of SV are paying attention and trying to right the situation - but most of them have spent their entire lives assessing women for their sexual compatibility. They are struggling to relate to any female as a professional and intellectual peer.
Sigh.
Grab a Snickers bar. Equality is going to take a while.
She tells me that male executives welcome her into interviews, but then act weird and strangely friendly/smiley while they visibly struggle to relate to her as a professional.
Other men are harshly judgementsl and scrutinize every interaction, taking any error or mishap as confirmation of inferiority and incompetence. Next!
So based one these small samples it does seem that the men of SV are paying attention and trying to right the situation - but most of them have spent their entire lives assessing women for their sexual compatibility. They are struggling to relate to any female as a professional and intellectual peer.
Sigh.
Grab a Snickers bar. Equality is going to take a while.
33
Ageism rears its ugly head.
20 years of experience means you're in your late 40s which is about the worst thing you can be in Silicon Valley. Even worse than being a woman.
1
While the PR departments and senior executives at the big name tech companies give lip service to attracting talented women, these companies fail to make sure that these women have a positive experience when they arrive, or to retain them. I don’t mean special treatment. I mean the basics like keeping the promises made during recruiting, giving women who are highly accomplished similar work to similar male counterparts, making sure that they are treated as well as men, and not tolerating inappropriate/sexist comments. To really attract and retain top women, that has to begin with the first day of work for the summer interns and new hires, because that is where future great employees come from.
I have spoken with women who are among the most elite and accomplished CS students in this country who will describe in detail how they were undermined and mistreated from day 1 until they had no interest in returning. In the long run this is damaging to women and to Silicon Valley, but it happens repeatedly. Are managers held accountable to ensure that promises made to interns are kept? Probably not. Are these women mentored and given someone they can trust to talk to if they are having a problem? Probably not. Are they isolated in an almost all male group? Probably. Invited to go to lunch with the team? Probably not.
Then when the women leave, management trots out empty platitudes like “We have to do better.”
Rinse and repeat. It is disgraceful. This must change.
I have spoken with women who are among the most elite and accomplished CS students in this country who will describe in detail how they were undermined and mistreated from day 1 until they had no interest in returning. In the long run this is damaging to women and to Silicon Valley, but it happens repeatedly. Are managers held accountable to ensure that promises made to interns are kept? Probably not. Are these women mentored and given someone they can trust to talk to if they are having a problem? Probably not. Are they isolated in an almost all male group? Probably. Invited to go to lunch with the team? Probably not.
Then when the women leave, management trots out empty platitudes like “We have to do better.”
Rinse and repeat. It is disgraceful. This must change.
26
I became a consultant so I could come and go as I pleased. No health benefits but I have my sanity.
6
These guys need monthly sexual harassment prevention training. And clear and certain penalties for misbehavior.
16
While sexual harassment of women has occurred since the beginning of time, the sexual revolution may have added some unique aspects to this problem of sexual harassment. Firstly, the idea that men or women should delay having sex until they are married is widely dismissed as out dated and unrealistic. And for some people, the idea that you should restrict your sexual activity to you spouse is also considered unrealistic. Men who prey on women can be punished if they violate the law, but in a society which encourages people to engage in as much sex as they want, how do we draw clear moral limits which will inhibit the actions of men towards women in cases where the man's action do not violate the law,but are actually sexual harassment.
6
You're conflating consensual sex with sexual harassment. They are not the same thing. When a man is unable to view a woman through any but a sexual lens, even in a professional environment, and he acts out this view with comments, assignments, and feedback that reflect his sexualized perceptions rather than her work, his limitations can and often do result in women whose contributions are overlooked, and whose worth -- as an employee or fundee -- is undervalued. This dynamic, when it's pervasive enough to be culturally pervasive and accepted, drives women away. Seeing women as good for sex and not much else is an impoverished view. Leaving 50% of your human capital on the table is wasteful.
As you say, sexual mores in the US have changed over the years. Many people are able to satisfy their sexual appetites more fully now. That we still have groups of men in positions of power who believe they are entitled to sex with women at work -- or entitled to deny women who refuse them, or aren't attractive to them, solely on the basis of their sexual availability -- shows that such men haven't matured beyond that point in childhood when humans tend to sort themselves by sex and view the other as icky-slash-desirable. They haven't worked through that early developmental phase in which boys and girls see one another as "boys" and "girls" rather than as people; they're stuck there. They need to grow up and get on with adulthood.
As you say, sexual mores in the US have changed over the years. Many people are able to satisfy their sexual appetites more fully now. That we still have groups of men in positions of power who believe they are entitled to sex with women at work -- or entitled to deny women who refuse them, or aren't attractive to them, solely on the basis of their sexual availability -- shows that such men haven't matured beyond that point in childhood when humans tend to sort themselves by sex and view the other as icky-slash-desirable. They haven't worked through that early developmental phase in which boys and girls see one another as "boys" and "girls" rather than as people; they're stuck there. They need to grow up and get on with adulthood.
9
A key point not emphasized: all corporations are hierarchies. The culture is set from the top, and the CEO sets the tone. If the type of sexual harassment is being tolerated, it can be laid at the feet of the CEO, VPs and department heads. This type of behavior could be nipped in the bud if the company leaders let it be known that such would not be tolerated. HR policy should be clear and training on the subject mandatory for everyone. All it would take is a few firings for the word to trickle down that such boorishness is not only unacceptable, but illegal.
But we don't see much of that, do we?
But we don't see much of that, do we?
36
Best to keep relationships separate from the workplace, especially with the imbalance of power here.
7
I am only too grateful that the truth is coming out about Justin and others. I worked in Venture Capital for nearly 18 years mostly on Sand Hill Road. I can say with all candor that I hope and pray Justin does NOT squeak by on all his outrageous bad behavior that 99% of his colleagues, friends and family have ignored acting like Ostriches sticking their heads in the sand and turning a blind's eye. I have signed too many NDAs...but will say that it is about time the Dominoes start falling.
28
Sexual harassment should not be tolerated. On the other hand, companies routinely celebrate special programs for women, quotas for their advancement, and publicly calling for more women in leadership ranks.
Where I work, the the most senior woman in the company (second in command next to the CEO) has made female advancement her cause. She took half a day at a leadership meeting to talk about her female leaders and showcase them. She also bragged about how they found a female pilot for her corporate jet (yes.... she did). So only women get mentorship programs, get fast tracked. One year ago, in my group, there were 4 male VPs and one female VP. Now there are 5 female VPs no male VPs. There hasn't been a man promoted to VP in the last three years. All have been women.
Just imagine if a male leader had been so obvious in his intent about male advancement. I'm strongly in favor of equality of opportunity, but this goes well beyond that.
The narrative of course is that only men show bias, so there's never
Where I work, the the most senior woman in the company (second in command next to the CEO) has made female advancement her cause. She took half a day at a leadership meeting to talk about her female leaders and showcase them. She also bragged about how they found a female pilot for her corporate jet (yes.... she did). So only women get mentorship programs, get fast tracked. One year ago, in my group, there were 4 male VPs and one female VP. Now there are 5 female VPs no male VPs. There hasn't been a man promoted to VP in the last three years. All have been women.
Just imagine if a male leader had been so obvious in his intent about male advancement. I'm strongly in favor of equality of opportunity, but this goes well beyond that.
The narrative of course is that only men show bias, so there's never
11
Sweetie, the culture at large has been quite obvious about male advancement since the beginning of time. The default has been that men get the opportunities and the slack, while "girls" get to hover at the edges of commerce/power, if they're sexually appealing enough. There's a bunch of men, still, as shown in this well-researched and written piece, who behave as though their position of power at work entitles them to treat women as sexual beings rather than work colleagues.
If you work for a strong, successful woman who is bringing qualified women up behind her? Well, congratulations, you've got a seat at the future. Put your head down, work hard, keep your interactions with co-workers friendly and professional, and maybe you'll go as far as your female counterparts.
If you work for a strong, successful woman who is bringing qualified women up behind her? Well, congratulations, you've got a seat at the future. Put your head down, work hard, keep your interactions with co-workers friendly and professional, and maybe you'll go as far as your female counterparts.
7
The irony being that women have typically been treated in the way that you complain about. Sorry that this is happening to men at your company, but hope that you'll use the experience to protest and prevent sexism in any form.
3
Who are these articles supposed to enlighten? Are they supposed to convince men that misogyny is rampant in American society? In a week with Bill Cosby's mistrial and Trump's blatant misogyny, how are these stories supposed to put a dent in American misogyny?
Any woman who works in a male-dominated field, namely with White men, has been subjected to sexual harassment. My experiences began in graduate school given the power differential between myself and an established professor. Unfortunately, they have continued but now I am savvier and easily recognize when they are occurring.
Any woman who works in a male-dominated field, namely with White men, has been subjected to sexual harassment. My experiences began in graduate school given the power differential between myself and an established professor. Unfortunately, they have continued but now I am savvier and easily recognize when they are occurring.
13
"Any woman who works in a male-dominated field, namely with White men, has been subjected to sexual harassment."
This comment is ironic, especially since you specifically mention the Cosby verdict. What does race have to do with it?
This comment is ironic, especially since you specifically mention the Cosby verdict. What does race have to do with it?
9
I don't think the point is "See what happens when you're a woman at work?" The women who gave their names and named the harassment they've endured are putting Silicon Valley and other male-dominant fields on notice. Change is possible; indeed, it's happening.
I am a man who finds the behavior described despicable.
Fight back!
Name and shame.
We all have rights but only so long as we fight for them.
As a senior manager I encountered 1 case in the course of my work, where a male employee of another manager was harassing a female member of my staff. I approached the other manager and explained to him what was going on and that if he did not rein in his employee I would take matters to the top and have the engineer in question fired. There was never a problem again.
I was only able to do this because my staff member told me what had happened. Had she not told me the injustice would have gone unpunished and no doubt the harassment would have continued.
Bring it out in the open. You may find you have more allies than you realize.
Fight back!
Name and shame.
We all have rights but only so long as we fight for them.
As a senior manager I encountered 1 case in the course of my work, where a male employee of another manager was harassing a female member of my staff. I approached the other manager and explained to him what was going on and that if he did not rein in his employee I would take matters to the top and have the engineer in question fired. There was never a problem again.
I was only able to do this because my staff member told me what had happened. Had she not told me the injustice would have gone unpunished and no doubt the harassment would have continued.
Bring it out in the open. You may find you have more allies than you realize.
17
Excuse me, these women don't work for these people. They have every right to hit on them all they want.
Unless a crime of assault occurs- physical in nature - that's life.
Nothing wrong with it. You being annoyed that the world Delaney perform to your standards: irrelevant
Just creepy and gross.
Unless a crime of assault occurs- physical in nature - that's life.
Nothing wrong with it. You being annoyed that the world Delaney perform to your standards: irrelevant
Just creepy and gross.
2
No, what's "creepy and gross" is your belief that it's OK to "hit on" any woman you fancy as long as they don't work for you.
Here's s radical concept: treat women, and get to know them, as people. They're not toys for your amusement.
Here's s radical concept: treat women, and get to know them, as people. They're not toys for your amusement.
14
This type of article is invaluable. These predators should be named and shamed. That's the only way to stop this behaviour; drag them into the light and let the world know about how they operate behind closed doors. I don't think this behaviour is exclusive to the tech industry either.
17
It's not confined to tech. I worked in journalism and healthcare and faced the same type of behavior with the same lack of consequences for the harassers. Now I that I am a high school teacher, I can tell you it starts young. The male students sexually harass the female staff. For the first time I haven't faced harassment from my co-workers ... but then, they're mostly women!
7
First, I believe many of these stories having seen it and felt it first hand. However, I want to post a recent event I witnessed that I have also seen too many times. I was eating out at a fine dining establishment when in came a large group of men and women apparently having a company party. The women would be described as "hot". All ranging in different ages. They all sat close together on couches doing a lot of touching. It became obvious to me that it was in fact the women hitting on those men. While the men did not protest, they didn't look all that happy about the aggressive behavior. I wanted to get up and slap those women for becoming what many women say they hate. It was so bad, I finally could not stand it. I had our waitress find out who they were. Now I know what business in our city to avoid. I am talking about women using their bodies to get attention whether at work or after hours. This is common. I worked for many years as an outside contractor and saw sex for sale to move up the ladder. It made me mad then and still does. If there is confusion about sex in the workplace, often both sexes are guilty. Yes, I know all about sexual harassment at work. I took those issues up with HR, or I directly dealt with the person. I never wanted those men to be fired, nor embarrassed. I just wanted it to stop. It did. I have always been a strong woman. No man, or event is going to take that away from me.
18
I can't express just how glad I am that women are coming forward and speaking out. As much as we may all wish for a world in which wealthy, powerful men do not try to use their position to extract (!) sex out of younger, less wealthy, less powerful women such a world is not in our nature as humans. We cannot hope that these men will somehow just wake up and 'learn' that this is wrong. The only hope we have of ending (or at least, severely curtailing) this predatory behaviour is for women to more readily come out, and for these powerful men to more quickly feel the stiff consequences of their actions.
Biology and culture will always push some powerful men to try to coerce women into sex. What we need is the power of consequence and publicity to stop them from acting on their impulses. Yes, this means placing even further burdens on women to come out and expose this sort of behaviour, which almost always happens in private. Yes, it is grossly unfair to ask even more of the victims of sexual predation. Unfortunately, force, consequence, and publicity are the only things these predators understand....it is the only way they can be reliably stopped.
Once people start getting fired, or prosecuted, and more women start moving up you'll see the laddish culture die pretty quickly. This has to be a sustained effort, not one that comes and goes in starts and stops.
Biology and culture will always push some powerful men to try to coerce women into sex. What we need is the power of consequence and publicity to stop them from acting on their impulses. Yes, this means placing even further burdens on women to come out and expose this sort of behaviour, which almost always happens in private. Yes, it is grossly unfair to ask even more of the victims of sexual predation. Unfortunately, force, consequence, and publicity are the only things these predators understand....it is the only way they can be reliably stopped.
Once people start getting fired, or prosecuted, and more women start moving up you'll see the laddish culture die pretty quickly. This has to be a sustained effort, not one that comes and goes in starts and stops.
15
I am a programmer in SF. I have been asked out on dates out of the blue by married directors and officers when we are alone in the elevator or outside the building. My married boss IMed me with a drink and plate icon writing, "how about this after work?" I saved the message to show to HR. The icons disappeared. He knew how to do this without being caught. I was groped by a new director during a 1 on 1 meeting with him. I walked out straight to HR to report him. I was grilled as if I had committed a crime. Lucky for me, he groped others later who likewise reported him to HR. He was finally fired.
34
You're shaming a married person for hitting on you based on what... your own moral beliefs? Obviously groping is (a crime) and completely unacceptable. Flirtation is risky but ultimately IS allowed in most workplaces, probably including yours. What is not allowed is continued advances after being warned to stop.
During the late 70s and early 80s, I was subjected to many "inappropriate" comments, passes at work, etc. I worked at one place that covered the computer room with Playboy centerfolds. A coworker said management would give me $10,000 if I slept with a certain person and got the designs he was working on. I went to dinner with a senior manager and two co-workers and the manager suggested we go to a sex club together. Everyone told me at the time that if I complained I wouldn't be able to get another job.
11
Questions we need to ask if we are honest. Besides men exploiting women, can we deny that some women choose to sleep to the top too, which is exploitation? Do we deny that sexual attraction doesn't work in both directions in business? Can the business environment be asexual, given human nature? Do we honestly believe that men and women can work together without the underlying sexual pulse?
5
Better screening and supervision would help. And, perhaps, much more willingness to quickly report such behavior. But the best deterrent is to have very much more severe and swift punishment for those proven guilty.........
2
The behavior of the harassers described in this piece is unprofessional, replete with clumsy pickup lines and innuendo more befitting barroom than boardroom.
The dress of one or two of the people pictured is also unprofessional. If they're worn as work clothes they're sending an un-worklike message, whatever the generation. It's a fine and honorable message, one we're all entitled to - but not a particularly businesslike one.
The harassers are oafs, no matter the dress. But one unprofessional expression will invite another. Excuse, no; invite, yes.
Sorry if this states the obvious. Maybe people were just dressing for the photo shoot. It would have been a less provocative pic for the paper to run if everyone had dressed in business suits. Then again- isn't that what the article is arguing for?
The dress of one or two of the people pictured is also unprofessional. If they're worn as work clothes they're sending an un-worklike message, whatever the generation. It's a fine and honorable message, one we're all entitled to - but not a particularly businesslike one.
The harassers are oafs, no matter the dress. But one unprofessional expression will invite another. Excuse, no; invite, yes.
Sorry if this states the obvious. Maybe people were just dressing for the photo shoot. It would have been a less provocative pic for the paper to run if everyone had dressed in business suits. Then again- isn't that what the article is arguing for?
14
We don't wear business suits in the Silicon Valley.
2
Do you view these outfits as sexualized or flirtatious? (I don't.) If these were pictures of men in cargo shorts, would you be suggesting that, regrettably, it's just to be expected that women would sexually harass them? Casual dress isn't the problem, as it happens in virtually all co-ed work environments. Business suits, scrubs, army uniforms -- none of these prevent certain men from objectifying women at work. It's probably not your intent but your line of reasoning here comes uncomfortably close to, If women don't want to be treated as sexual objects, they should just [fill in the blank]. I hope you can appreciate that the women in the article are bright and driven; they've thought about how to make unwanted overtures stop. If the fix was as simple as wearing formal business attire, this article wouldn't have to exist.
2
They work in Silicon Valley. The male engineers dress the same casual way. They would be totally out of character in suits because NO ONE in Silicon Valley dresses that way.
2
Sexual harassment is about control and power, not sex, in the workplace and anywhere. And it is particularly present in fields where men want to excel and professions that offer prestige: the visual arts, academia, etc. Many ignore and deny this factor that prevents men from accepting and respecting women as human beings: ignorant women who support men as superior beings including mothers. As long as these women support the concept of men as superior, women will not be able to win the battle.
3
The issue surely is the attempt to use power ( to hire, promote or to invest)to proposition women for sex. This must stop and should be punished. Another issue is the prevalence of men who actually think their 'power' attracts. This is far more widespread than the tech/financial industry and says something about the wider society.
1
It is great that articles like this and others have started meaningful conversations. There must be a zero tolerance for harassment of any kind. If anyone is found guilty of such claims, moving aside is not, in my opinion, adequate. There must be atonement and unreserved apologies to those directly impacted, and where fitting, punishment in accordance with the laws of the land. For many that comes too late, with suicide sometimes the result. I have heard first hand many investors who not only use their funding power for sex, but also intimidation, bullying, coercion and leverage for personal gain. The shock I had was how many of these people exist, seeing start ups as fertile hunting grounds. To speak up can kill your business so most don't. Personally I have committed to tackling this issue head on and embrace diversity with a meaningful ratio of not less than 40% women in management and on any future board. Behavior of this nature cannot survive transparency and oversight. This quote is appropriate, but deserves to be read gender neutral "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men (people) do nothing." (Edmund Burke)
2
If SV and companies were serious about addressing this they would adopt a charter like the one from PWC Australia: https://www.pwc.com.au/about-us/diversity-and-inclusion.html
1
It's probably not going to stop anytime soon unless we stop worshipping people with money. Let's be honest, the only job women had from the early ages was prostitution, and they worked for money. Women did housework for free for their family. We're all working for money and if entrepreneurs cannot fund their own business, they have to ask rich people, and many of them happened to be arrogant and sexually frustrated men with no social skills. If they have social skills, they would have a successful and loving family (no affairs) in addition to all that money. Maybe they want to raise daughters with some women they helped financially support. But they just can't help expressing their financial power and sexual interests to their business partners because that's the only place they can actually approach women. Rich geeks only has power on their turfs. I chose not to pursue the engineering field because it's filled with nasty men and I can't wait for them to change so that many women can enter that lucrative field without fear.
1
Women did not historically "do housework for free". As they did not work outside the home, they did it in exchange for food, clothing, and shelter provided by their husband, and the companionship of their husband and children. That was the universal division of labor until very recent times.
The statement that women "do housework for free" is actually a little more accurate today, as they usually work outside the home but still do most of the housework. Even that claim is strained, as their household work is balanced, in part if not entirely, by the husband's equally stereotypical role as a handyman providing household services - mowing, painting, making home repairs, maintaining the cars, etc. - for "free."
The statement that women "do housework for free" is actually a little more accurate today, as they usually work outside the home but still do most of the housework. Even that claim is strained, as their household work is balanced, in part if not entirely, by the husband's equally stereotypical role as a handyman providing household services - mowing, painting, making home repairs, maintaining the cars, etc. - for "free."
It doesn't take a genius to realize that the tech industry, much like the finance industry, or any industry predicated on the exploitation of the many for the benefit of the few, is going to attract unsavory characters. These women are walking into a pit of snakes and wondering why they're being bitten. There are plenty of things one can spend one's short time on this planet doing. Jettison the ego, the materialism, the drive for power, and leave these losers behind. Humble yourselves and go out and help some refugees or the many homeless people you step over on your way to work each morning. The world doesn't need any more apps or gadgets; it needs human beings.
7
I would like to add that, as a man, I have experienced sexual and emotional harassment in the workplace. Three different men during my career pinched my butt, invited to me a hotel room during work hours or stared/glared at me with a look I can only describe as "not cool." Yet the workplace bullying I experienced was from women I worked for, which, for me, was far worse. I won a small settlement and, in the process, realized the old adage "power corrupts," whether a man or a woman is in charge.
8
The description of these encounters must acknowledge the courageous crime fighting in the corporate environment that these women are working to abolish. All to often they are branded "victims"; isn't "heroine" a better label?
1
To MH: Believe it or not, sexual harassment among working people is against the law. These men should absolutely be named as well as fired, that's what will stop them and others like them.
4
I have never been treated with anything but respect in Silicon Valley and in Dubai ...it all depends on how you conduct yourself...I am a very serious and dignified woman and I have been treated as such. I just closed my 41 Million Series B. This is my second startup.
3
How do you avoid this without stopping office dating in general - which is where about 18% of people find their SO's? It's just a blurry line (with exception of physical touch and repeat advances), and men are expected to make the advance. It's a brutal thing to deal with for women, but this isn't about power or keeping women down, it's about dating and sex. So is most stuff.
You take the awkward/nerdy kid from high school and college, worship his skill set, and reward him handsomely with cash and status. That takes a low confidence 22 year old (these aren't your prom kings) and turns them into a confident 30 year old.
Dating's a game of attraction unless you've known someone for a significant period of time. I've heard more than once from women here that "the odds are good but the goods are odd" when referring to men.
The engineering culture that pervades the valley is very direct. It helps tackle problems.
String that all together, and you have over-confident guys, many of whom are downright ugly, awkwardly propositioning a set of successful, pretty women (confident men are all the same, in dating they go for the pretty ones) that would never go out with them regardless of setting. Since 1/5 of their friends met their SO at work, men don't see any harm in asking the women there out, and since they're engineers, they're very direct.
When coworkers can date, these troubles of regular dating arise in the workplace. There's power imbalances in all relationships.
You take the awkward/nerdy kid from high school and college, worship his skill set, and reward him handsomely with cash and status. That takes a low confidence 22 year old (these aren't your prom kings) and turns them into a confident 30 year old.
Dating's a game of attraction unless you've known someone for a significant period of time. I've heard more than once from women here that "the odds are good but the goods are odd" when referring to men.
The engineering culture that pervades the valley is very direct. It helps tackle problems.
String that all together, and you have over-confident guys, many of whom are downright ugly, awkwardly propositioning a set of successful, pretty women (confident men are all the same, in dating they go for the pretty ones) that would never go out with them regardless of setting. Since 1/5 of their friends met their SO at work, men don't see any harm in asking the women there out, and since they're engineers, they're very direct.
When coworkers can date, these troubles of regular dating arise in the workplace. There's power imbalances in all relationships.
8
This is brilliant. Thanks for posting. Not enough people will read it, but know that at least one person did.
4
So what's wrong with men using their wealth and power to do whatever they like with women. POTUS does it, doesn't he? And Republicans are supporting him. So it must be OK.
I just turned 40 this year, and I've never been sexually harrassed at work.
No one has ever propositioned me; has ever threatened to fire me if I didn't sleep with them; has ever felt me up, inappropriately grabbed me or tried to kiss me. No one has ever demanded sexual favors from me; sent me sexually appropriate IM/text/email messages.
Now I was born a woman, have been one my entire life, and worked my own way solidly into the upper middle class workforce. I've never encountered anything like what these women have described.
I don't think I believe them.
No one has ever propositioned me; has ever threatened to fire me if I didn't sleep with them; has ever felt me up, inappropriately grabbed me or tried to kiss me. No one has ever demanded sexual favors from me; sent me sexually appropriate IM/text/email messages.
Now I was born a woman, have been one my entire life, and worked my own way solidly into the upper middle class workforce. I've never encountered anything like what these women have described.
I don't think I believe them.
8
This is a great post because although their story seems credible to me -- for every women receiving too much attention from men, there are 1-2-3 women wishing for more interest from men, and thinking about how to accomplish that as soon as possible.
2
Your experience is rare.
5
It's not about sex. It's about power.
The men have it, and they use it.
The women don't.
The men have it, and they use it.
The women don't.
4
It's not just sexual harassment. It's this patronizing attitude that a woman's presentation is akin to watching children perform. After humoring you, ok now it's time to listen to the grown-ups. My first ever VC pitch and the only comment I received was "charming presentation". Charming! Would a man get that same feedback?
6
Go look at the photos and profiles of the "Masters of the Universe", the young guys who work at these VCs. They are beneficiaries of a 10 year bull market. The next crash will send many of them scurrying to Starbucks for jobs.
4
Women need to form more VC firms and fund raise like you want to change the landscape to capitalize your funds. The next step is to fund and mentor women and minority owned startups. Rinse and repeat.
2
It is bothersome to me that Lindsey Meyer stated that she believed that the harassment she endured was not only due to being female, but also due to race; the "cost of being non-white" Not only do women face challenges entering tech fields, but then, Ms. Meyer would make it a competition and discourage white women from coming forward because what they experience isn't "that bad" in comparison to what minorities experience. Rubbish! Stop with the white guilt already. I find that men who objectify women rarely care what race a woman is, only that she is available and he has power over her. As a woman, I also believe that there are few circumstances in which women do not have a choice. Sometimes career altering, unfair, and frustrating - but better than being an unpaid prostitute.
3
Being propositioned at work. Is that harassment ? Really! I'm not being facetious. What if someone tries to kiss you? Or asks you out more than once, even after you said no? The people at work see you more than anyone else does. You're attractive. Do you want to live in a world where no one notices? Those women in the picture are all pretty and they all wear nice clothes and they are outnumbered at work. How is anyone supposed to meet anyone? They are probably the only females their co-workers get to see close-up what with all the hours everyone puts in. And the women are entrepreneurs and engineers and educated. What if these guys -- some of them: I mean some of them -- just like you? Or maybe they are just attracted to you? I mean what's he supposed to do? I mean some of them. For crying out loud
3
if you make it know expressly that advances are to wanted,it is harassment. otherwise it is flirtation/pursuit. Simple concept
7
The workplace is not these guys' tinder. Period.
2
OK. I know I'm going to get flamed for this because I'm "blaming" the victims, but here goes. Women should fight back, literally. Take some self defense courses and learn how to kick a man in his nether regions. This situation is not going to get better as long as people think they can talk it out of existence. Our society seems to love watching violent entertainment, and then engaging in violence in criminal ways (road rage, racially motivated attacks, etc.). I'm calling for righteous violence executed by confident women who know when it's time to correct a situation once and for all (I'm referring to a specific situation involving a specific attacker). That's it; I'm done.
5
The wonderful side of the tech industry is the innovation and the desire to make people's lives better. The dark side of the tech industry is the greed and a desire for power. The sexual harassment that women are experiencing is coming from that ugly side of the tech industry. By bringing these things out in the open, it will help all of us, it will help entrepreneurship and innovation, and it will better for the industry.
I worked for tech companies in the automotive industry for many years and never once experienced harassment in the very male-dominated auto industry. But I did from a VC at a cleantech investor conference. I thought - how odd that I experienced sexual harassment in a supposedly "modern" industry vs. a much older, more traditional industry. It was actually very alarming. As a society, we still have a lot of work to do when it comes to treating people with respect, decency, and equality.
I worked for tech companies in the automotive industry for many years and never once experienced harassment in the very male-dominated auto industry. But I did from a VC at a cleantech investor conference. I thought - how odd that I experienced sexual harassment in a supposedly "modern" industry vs. a much older, more traditional industry. It was actually very alarming. As a society, we still have a lot of work to do when it comes to treating people with respect, decency, and equality.
11
Power sits at the center of this landscape. Until far more women are in business and executive jobs everywhere, little will change. We need a sea change in numbers, but it is hard to generate when women face this kind of harassment. The problem starts long before the workplace. We need feminist classrooms from school through college. The rising interest in gender studies at colleges is a hopeful sign of possible change in the future, but we need to make sure that such classes include discussion of "old fashioned" topics like sexism and harassment. And business schools should devote courses to workplace harassment: feminism doesn't just belong in gender studies departments.
3
This doesn't confine in tech. It is about money and power. It points to the perpetrators' immaturity when they were rewarded for their one-dimensionality. But then, However, it doesn't explain why the academia are also littered with harassment cases. Business school deans and esteemed philosophers.
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely
Power corrupts and absolute power corrupts absolutely
1
One of the issues that became apparent to me was that while the issue seemed to abate (or at least go underground) as American men found that is was no longer socially acceptable to blatantly intimidate, marginalize, harass, and discriminate against women was that as men from countries that currently blatantly discriminate emigrate to the US they bring their country's attitudes with them.
A couple of decades ago it was Mexican "elevator eyes" and comments, and then that diminished. Then it was Indian men, who tended to be very rude until they found out that one had power, and then they became very obsequious.
What didn't change was that working as subordinates under these individuals pretty much guaranteed discrimination that was apparent in sexist comments, diminished selection for plum job assignments, etc. What do companies really think happens when they outsource jobs to these countries and allow them to cherry pick people who are RIFed?...
I never dreamed that discrimination against women would remain so stuck over the decades, but very little has changed. A lot has gone underground but the snickers, comments, etc still bubble up frequently enough that it's apparent this is a larger problem than women at least would like to believe, even discounting attitudes brought by immigrants. Working in IT and in companies with entrenched cultural attitudes just makes it more difficult.
A couple of decades ago it was Mexican "elevator eyes" and comments, and then that diminished. Then it was Indian men, who tended to be very rude until they found out that one had power, and then they became very obsequious.
What didn't change was that working as subordinates under these individuals pretty much guaranteed discrimination that was apparent in sexist comments, diminished selection for plum job assignments, etc. What do companies really think happens when they outsource jobs to these countries and allow them to cherry pick people who are RIFed?...
I never dreamed that discrimination against women would remain so stuck over the decades, but very little has changed. A lot has gone underground but the snickers, comments, etc still bubble up frequently enough that it's apparent this is a larger problem than women at least would like to believe, even discounting attitudes brought by immigrants. Working in IT and in companies with entrenched cultural attitudes just makes it more difficult.
12
Appears some of these ethically-stunted guys conflate money and the power of their position with entitlement. Such sleeze ball behavior would be utterly pathetic if it didn't have harmful consequences to others.
1
Thank you for speaking out! It's not easy but it helps everyone to know that this happens.
16
Kudos to these women for speaking out. It obviously cost them when they lost funding or other men protected their buddies by warning the women to not complain. There are nice men in the business world who treat women, and everyone, with respect. Those gentlemen are ethical human beings, as are the women who spoke out.
10
Maybe VCs, like the academic publishing community, should engage in blind peer reviews of the proposals put forth by potential entrepreneurs before deciding who to fund or follow up with. That might help curtail much of the sexism and ageism in terms of who and what gets funded, or at least force them to acknowledge their own biases and discrepancies. They should also develop strong policies with clear consequences for partners exhibiting discriminatory and predatory behavior.
35
I've been in tech for over 30 years and I'd like to say that sexism (and every other ism) has been going on since I started work. That would be true except that each year it has gotten worse... much worse. I used to see women in tech and now I rarely see any. As much as I like to think tech is awesome for bringing us all benefits of increase efficiency in our lives, at the same time I'm ashamed of how too many of my white male peers act. The only thing I would add is that as a white male myself, every time I've spoken against this sort of thing, I've been punished too. This isn't just a problem for women and minorities, it's also a problem for us white males that were born with a social compass. We all need to join these brave women and speak out and act in unison every chance we get.
152
Thanks for speaking up as a man. I know it's not easy either.
3
Now all a man has to do is claim to "identify as" a woman and he can harass and threaten women with impunity. Trans is regressive and very prevalent in STEM fields, and it is pushing women from those fields even faster than before.
terfisaslur. com
terfisaslur. com
2
Thank you for being one of the few who speak up....even knowing the consequences.
1
At the time of writing this comment, the total number of comments reached 310 and all of them spoke strongly for the equal rights of the women. My question is: When the recent election gave an ample opportunity to the citizens of the USA to empower a woman to occupy the Oval office, what made them hesitate to give her an edge ?. When Sri Lanka, Burma, India, Pakistan, Germany, UK and Spain empowered the women to the highest office, we couldn't find a Woman President in the communist China, the oldest democracy the USA and also in Russia till date.
55
More Americans voted for HRC than for DJT, as you must know. Our Electoral College has produced the election of Trump, unfortunately. She got three million more votes than he did. More importantly, why did so many people buy the baloney that Trump was selling? I think it was not so much gender bias as dirty tricks. He did the same to the GOP field: name calling, lying, etc.
22
It is not enough to empower "a woman" to occupy the Oval Office. That makes it sound as though any woman will do just because she's female. I think Clinton was a terrible candidate, although I voted for her simply because she was the lesser of two evils. We didn't deserve either of them though.
.
Our problem is not that we can't find a woman to elect, it's that we are offered a terrible slate of candidates in almost every election, irrespective of gender. If we can get one of the parties to give us a highly qualified female I have no doubt she'd get elected.
.
None of this explains how Trumpy the Clown got elected (Electoral College), but it helps explain why more people weren't on Clinton's side. She was terrible even for a man.
.
Our problem is not that we can't find a woman to elect, it's that we are offered a terrible slate of candidates in almost every election, irrespective of gender. If we can get one of the parties to give us a highly qualified female I have no doubt she'd get elected.
.
None of this explains how Trumpy the Clown got elected (Electoral College), but it helps explain why more people weren't on Clinton's side. She was terrible even for a man.
12
They didn't pass on the chance to elect and empower a woman. There just aren't enough people willing to empower a woman. A perfect example of the issue at hand, really.
To be fair, men treat other men awfully. Harassment and intimidation is not confined to women.
But.
Only women are targeted specifically because they're women.
Religion bears a lot of responsibility for entitlement behavior.
But.
Only women are targeted specifically because they're women.
Religion bears a lot of responsibility for entitlement behavior.
48
Not sure citing the Ellen Pao case really helps make the argument here.
As the journalist states, Ms. Pao lost the case. But the journalist uses this case as the chief example in a paragraph with the topic sentence: "Some venture capitalists' abuse of power has come to light in recent years."
It was determined there was no abuse of power, and specifically no gender discrimination or retaliation. The journalist links to an article about how the case sparked a debate about unequal treatment that was written before the jury concluded there was no unequal treatment. And the journalist quotes Gesche Hass referencing Ellen Pao about how "these things indeed happen," when a jury determined there was no harassment? A jury with 6 men and 6 women.
No doubt harassment of all sorts happens in many workplaces every day but citing the Ellen Pao case does not advance this argument.
As the journalist states, Ms. Pao lost the case. But the journalist uses this case as the chief example in a paragraph with the topic sentence: "Some venture capitalists' abuse of power has come to light in recent years."
It was determined there was no abuse of power, and specifically no gender discrimination or retaliation. The journalist links to an article about how the case sparked a debate about unequal treatment that was written before the jury concluded there was no unequal treatment. And the journalist quotes Gesche Hass referencing Ellen Pao about how "these things indeed happen," when a jury determined there was no harassment? A jury with 6 men and 6 women.
No doubt harassment of all sorts happens in many workplaces every day but citing the Ellen Pao case does not advance this argument.
29
Juries do of course make mistakes. This one found it hard to credit a privileged woman's story of being intimidated. That doesn't mean they were right.
2
We live in a patriarchal society. Religion is sexist and perpetuates sexism. Ever gone to apply for a loan with your husband and the banker (usually male) talks to him even when you, the woman is the breadwinner. Sexism is everywhere and we have a president who exemplifies it. Its good that women are speaking up but unfortunately these women will pay a price in their career which will affect their income, investments, SS etc. Its still very much a man's world but things are slowly changing. People with power (men) won't give it up easily.
23
Please use common sense here. Statistically speaking men generally are the breadwinner's. The bankers generally deal with the men because the men generally deal with the finances. They are put in a habit of doing so because that's generally how it's been for the last ever. It's not an attack on women. You're trying to find sexism in something that isn't sexist. It's just a numbers game.
I waited tables for years. Men generally paid the tabs. Women for sure do sometimes. But mostly men do. Guess who I'm going to hand the bill to. The men. Not because I think you're incapable of paying. It's because 99/100 times it's the right move.
Men don't care if you want to be a CEO or a lawyer or a clown. If you got the skills to back up whatever you're applying for youre in.
I waited tables for years. Men generally paid the tabs. Women for sure do sometimes. But mostly men do. Guess who I'm going to hand the bill to. The men. Not because I think you're incapable of paying. It's because 99/100 times it's the right move.
Men don't care if you want to be a CEO or a lawyer or a clown. If you got the skills to back up whatever you're applying for youre in.
1
The issue is that men in the tech industry feel they can date who they work with. As a woman working in Silicon Valley I have encountered this issue and have been met with surprise by colleagues when I argue that working and dating should not mix. Men in tech seem to believe that the workplace is a good place 'to meet women'. Until this mentality stops, this sort of behavior will continue.
The fact is that women need to be respected as intellectuals in the workplace. It should not be viewed as a potential meat market where you can meet someone to date/sleep with/etc.
The fact is that women need to be respected as intellectuals in the workplace. It should not be viewed as a potential meat market where you can meet someone to date/sleep with/etc.
57
But today, this kind of high-powered, highly paid professional works 90 hours a week or more. They LIVE in the office -- where else would they meet women? in church?
20
Working 90 hours a week isn't an excuse for turning your job into a tinder swipe game. Choosing to work so much that you aren't able to date should not affect women in your office.
5
On dating sites and apps! Some of these harassers probably started some themselves!
3
So many times; so many places. On the train as a 14-year old, while other riders looked away uncomfortably. In graduate school--my advisor. At work: the project managers complained that I wasn't pretty enough. Their WIVES complained, that I wasn't perky enough on the phone. The way Trump behaves is exactly what I associate with "the good ole boys" complex...
74
My first job out of college when my make boss said I was doing a great job but I should wear make up. He said his wife was willing to "give me some tips" -- sigh.
3
In my career (25 years) with an international Fortune 100 company I have never faced the sexism that I experienced in the Bay Area in the early to mid 80's. Not in Atlanta, New Orleans, Dallas, Kansas City or Austin. It was terrible internally and nearly unbearable with customers. While I became among the first females in the company to reach executive status, only stubborn determination and thinking on my feet got me out of California successfully. Lest you think California has evolved, think again.
Two of my male managers were promoted to Regional VP's in CA 5-10 years ago. One in particular (Bay Area) phoned me for counsel shortly after his arrival regarding a disturbing cultural acceptance of sexism. It was even evident among his senior management team. As he related incidents I recalled many of my own experiences. It was indeed ingrained in the culture.
He rightly cleaned house.
I fear I never had enough compassion for the few women that preceded me in San Jose. Fortunately, I also ever never had an occasion in any other city to have remorse for that omission.
After graduating from Kansas University I accewith a Fortune 100 Company. My husband was offered a job in Silicon Valley with a start up called Intel so we moved from Lawrence, to Santa Clara. Mine was a male dominated industry (
I worked for this wonderful company for over 25 years
Two of my male managers were promoted to Regional VP's in CA 5-10 years ago. One in particular (Bay Area) phoned me for counsel shortly after his arrival regarding a disturbing cultural acceptance of sexism. It was even evident among his senior management team. As he related incidents I recalled many of my own experiences. It was indeed ingrained in the culture.
He rightly cleaned house.
I fear I never had enough compassion for the few women that preceded me in San Jose. Fortunately, I also ever never had an occasion in any other city to have remorse for that omission.
After graduating from Kansas University I accewith a Fortune 100 Company. My husband was offered a job in Silicon Valley with a start up called Intel so we moved from Lawrence, to Santa Clara. Mine was a male dominated industry (
I worked for this wonderful company for over 25 years
26
typo-I meant THEIR
7
These topics are disturbing about the culture of any industry, but why must it be written in the fashion of shaming men one after another by name? Public shaming is not the answer, just another form of harassment.
These men are probably domineering jerks, but they act like any man wants to act, just with the luxury of power and place. Naming and shaming won't make this go away. Sexuality will not go away, nor has it ever.
These men are probably domineering jerks, but they act like any man wants to act, just with the luxury of power and place. Naming and shaming won't make this go away. Sexuality will not go away, nor has it ever.
5
Public shaming can go too far at times, but it's very effective and has been throughout human history - ask any good historian or anthropologist. Public shaming of those who engage in such totally egregious behavior is exactly the answer.
14
Sorry, naming names calls them out, which may cost thhem their jobs, which may make the other jerks think twice about their juvenile behavior.
2
@ MH
If public naming of the predators isn't the answer, can you provide a better one? These men, and who knows how many thousands more like them, aren't the victims of harassment -- they are the perpetrators. They are a new generation unwilling to remain silent and suffering for decades, like the accusers of Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, Bill O'Riley, and yes, Donald Trump.
And have you noticed, of this outstanding group, only Bill Cosby was actually brought to trial, and none has been convicted.
These younger women are showing courage and strength in speaking truth to power.
As for your comment that these men " . . . act like any man wants to act" and adding your misguided opinion that their behavior is simply part of "sexuality" marks you as another unfinished boy who hasn't yet become a man.
If public naming of the predators isn't the answer, can you provide a better one? These men, and who knows how many thousands more like them, aren't the victims of harassment -- they are the perpetrators. They are a new generation unwilling to remain silent and suffering for decades, like the accusers of Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes, Bill O'Riley, and yes, Donald Trump.
And have you noticed, of this outstanding group, only Bill Cosby was actually brought to trial, and none has been convicted.
These younger women are showing courage and strength in speaking truth to power.
As for your comment that these men " . . . act like any man wants to act" and adding your misguided opinion that their behavior is simply part of "sexuality" marks you as another unfinished boy who hasn't yet become a man.
2
Hey, we should take this up with our esteemed President and Congress!
18
No one should be subjected to sexual harassment. Having been in a professional business occupation for over 30 years, I know too well some who have power will abuse their standing and believe they have the privilege to do just that. My wife works in a male dominated industry, so I’m aware of the difficulties, and resilience, required to succeed and survive in such an environment.
I also understand the symbolism of the defiant pose by the Wethos partners seemingly staged for this article. I even share Ms. Renock’s appreciation of Led Zeppelin. Having seen many of my clients’ younger employees more casual attitude toward workplace attire, I realize the requirements in the workplace are much different than when I began my career. I also imagine the Wethos partners were professional in substance, style, and appearance during their search for funding. Yet even with those disclaimers, I can’t help but speculate their attire in the photo, more suited to a private setting, hinders their justified protest.
I also understand the symbolism of the defiant pose by the Wethos partners seemingly staged for this article. I even share Ms. Renock’s appreciation of Led Zeppelin. Having seen many of my clients’ younger employees more casual attitude toward workplace attire, I realize the requirements in the workplace are much different than when I began my career. I also imagine the Wethos partners were professional in substance, style, and appearance during their search for funding. Yet even with those disclaimers, I can’t help but speculate their attire in the photo, more suited to a private setting, hinders their justified protest.
20
Hey, if it were me in this article (and I am glad it is not!), you bet I would be dressed more professionally as I agree some readers may judge, rightfully or not, my views based on how I am dressed.
However, the tech culture of Silicon Valley is quite relaxed (I live there albeit in a more conservative field) and we routinely see articles about tech issues here where they men are dressed just as, if not more, casually. And yet, it's less likely they were taken less seriously based on how they are dressed.
However, the tech culture of Silicon Valley is quite relaxed (I live there albeit in a more conservative field) and we routinely see articles about tech issues here where they men are dressed just as, if not more, casually. And yet, it's less likely they were taken less seriously based on how they are dressed.
12
I think you should consider very carefully what you're saying and why, because you're perpetuating a double standard. Men in T-shirts and jeans are ubiquitous in Silicon Valley (I know, I live there). Why should women have to dress better than men to be take seriously?
1
Ah, the "if you didn’t want to get raped you shouldn't have dressed that way" response. How do you think their male colleagues dress?
2
I was listening to several of these women talk on NPR this week. A caller identified himself as a founder of a venture capital firm and said - this is why we never hire women. We don't want to get sued. Threats and intimidation have certainly worked and continue to be brazen.
62
Venture funds need accountability.
16
What "threats"? People should have the right to employ anyone they want.
3
The venture capitalist should be sued just for saying that they didn't hire women because they didn't want to be sued.
How about just not hiring, or quickly firing, the men who sexually harrass? Why should all female applicants suffer because of the few men causing the problem?
How about just not hiring, or quickly firing, the men who sexually harrass? Why should all female applicants suffer because of the few men causing the problem?
4
Hmmm... The more things change, the more they stay the same.
It is really up to the men who are NOT sexually harassing women to fix this problem! Women can speak out, but they have no power to make change. Only the men have that power. So where are they?
It is really up to the men who are NOT sexually harassing women to fix this problem! Women can speak out, but they have no power to make change. Only the men have that power. So where are they?
56
One is right here... and those of us who speak out get marginalized and fired too.
1
I'm glad this is brought out in the open, and it must remain exposed. It certainly doesn't help when the leader of our country gets away with what he does. (Sorry for the politico.) Expose, expose, expose, and pray for a better role model next time around.
14
The working world has changed a lot, mostly for the better, since I entered the corporate workplace 42 years ago. A lot of the behaviors that were pretty common when I was a junior exec at a bank in the '70's are in disrepute and most major companies seem to have embraced a much more proactive stance in dealing with the issues of race and gender discrimination. No doubt that bad behavior still exists but I think at a much reduced level.
Except in the tech and VC worlds. Big money and success at a young age seem to bring out all the worst traits in these characters. There isn't a lot of maturity in these groups to begin with and the money, fame and power make it so much easier to believe that the world is your oyster. Boards need to be especially attentive to problems if the nature discussed in this article in the ranks of their senior execs. Failure to reign in this behavior has too many negative consequences to ignore.
Except in the tech and VC worlds. Big money and success at a young age seem to bring out all the worst traits in these characters. There isn't a lot of maturity in these groups to begin with and the money, fame and power make it so much easier to believe that the world is your oyster. Boards need to be especially attentive to problems if the nature discussed in this article in the ranks of their senior execs. Failure to reign in this behavior has too many negative consequences to ignore.
22
Sexual harassment in the heart of the liberal Bay Area in the blue state of California, who would have thought! I assumed that all these tech companies that claim to be so progressive would never allow or even hire males who would practice such Neanderthal actions! This sounds more like something that would happen in a conservative red state like Texas or the deplorable South Eastern states!
21
Dear still rocking: There are A-holes in all political persuasions. To make it a left-right thing is to miss the point. But, hey, you get to feel superior for a minute.
8
It happens everywhere in every profession, in every state but most of all it is perpetuated and promoted by religion. Name one religion that doesn't have women less than. There aren't any.
2
@Barbara,
Why wouldn't I make it a political thing? The left is constantly reminding us how progressive they are. As for feeling superior, hardly, just stating a factual point!
Why wouldn't I make it a political thing? The left is constantly reminding us how progressive they are. As for feeling superior, hardly, just stating a factual point!
2
Thank you for speaking out. Please make sure that the message gets out, especially to male friends and relatives. There is a false perception out there that says that this isn't a problem.
I also appreciate those who have apologized and those who are changing their behavior.
I also appreciate those who have apologized and those who are changing their behavior.
25
How could Mr. McClure, or anybody else in his kind of position, be confused? If you have any sort of business, professional, workplace etc. power over another person, they're off limits for "hitting on".
If it seems to you that they're flirting with you, you'll just have to wait until forever (most likely) or until they say it plainly. You're probably mistaking politeness and being on edge for "interest".
The women in the article are beautiful, smart, young---ideal mates. Everybody else sees this too. They'll find somebody without your trying to cut in line backed by your power.
If it seems to you that they're flirting with you, you'll just have to wait until forever (most likely) or until they say it plainly. You're probably mistaking politeness and being on edge for "interest".
The women in the article are beautiful, smart, young---ideal mates. Everybody else sees this too. They'll find somebody without your trying to cut in line backed by your power.
27
Many many times the women start the flirtation, and then complain when the man pucks up on the hints and innuendo - only to be accused later. That risk is what many investors avoid by not engaging with wonen founders. Not right but sensible..
2
Why does Ms Meyer feel the need to mention she is non white? Raising money in any industry is tough for anybody, no matter the sex or race. She should stay on topic about how she was not treated right by Caldbeck, and leave racist comments out of it.
21
I found it odd too, given how many women mentioned in this article are white and were also subject to harassment.
4
Non-white women often suffer a double whammy of both sexism and racism. I think she gets to mention whatever she wants.
30
I agree, I had the same reaction. As if white women are not vulnerable to sexual harassment? Her double victimhood takes something away from what actually matters in this case.
2
RIP it up, friends!
Resist!
Insist!
Persist!
R-I-P!!!
Resist!
Insist!
Persist!
R-I-P!!!
15
Bay Area, and particularly South Bay Area, suffers from a significant imbalance of ratio of male to female. This imbalance brings several peculiarities to this society, one of them is sexual harassment. In short, this imbalance has created a sick society in which both sexes suffer. Woman suffer from constant attention and/or harassment, men suffer from difficulty in finding mate and satisfying their sexual needs. Relationships suffer from constant interference by pool of single males. For more information, we can refer to similar societies such as army units.
18
So they need a lot more women! Good idea, Mir.
3
"Men suffer from difficulty from finding a mate" woah stop generalizing all men and using Darwinism ideas to justify sexism is a thing to be tolerated.
2
No excuses! Abuse of power in any circumstances cannot be condoned. And frankly I don't think the population is unbalanced, even though certain professions may be.
1
As an investor in one of these funds, and as a woman, I am extremely unpleased right now.
48
When we're young & inexperienced, we got uncomfortable but kept quiet and tried to steer clear of the back rubs or grabbing of hips while passing us in a large enough room. We tried to ignore the sexist jokes or comments, and wore conservative clothing thinking maybe that would stop it. We tried to smile off the comments from clients, customers, colleagues. What do you do when your boss asks you to turn around so he can "admire" what you're wearing when you're 21 & desperately need that job to carry you through school? Even female bosses and colleagues join in on jokes, blow things off, so we sat & wondered, is it just me who's feeling sensitive here? Later through career progression and motherhood, we work long hours and nurse the baby while tapping away on our laptops in the middle of the night because we have a mortgage to pay and student loans & a family to care for & feed. One day we rise to the executive team and feel honored & where we should be yet it doesn't end there. We're told when trying to hold people accountable that we're "exhausting" and what do you do when one of your superiors takes the team to a strip club after a work dinner as a "team building experience?" You make up an excuse to leave. You find excuses. You excuse it. Then your colleague who's also married with kids & you thought a friend hits on you relentlessly. You say I can move forward & ignore this but then he belittles you at work.HR says we'll deal with it but he's a rainmaker. You leave.
158
Wow, that was a powerful and truthful recap of one woman's experience as a bread winner in a man's world. Thank you.
7
Sounds like a typical episode from Madmen TV series! Such is real life right now as it was in the 1950s.
2
You either never saw the show or you are not in the workplace right now. You think a woman in 2017 has the same problems a woman in 1957 had?
I love that these bold and talented women are naming names. They are doing so knowing that there may be a risk to them professionally. Hopefully, their courage will mean that there will be a price for the bad behavior which will have a deterrent effect. If people know that every time someone Googles "Justin Caldbeck" that the issue of his alleged sexual harassment will come up in the Google search, maybe they will refrain from bad behavior.
54
Suggested solutions to this universal and enduring problem:
1. Single sex education (like in the old days when Harvard was for men and Wellesley was for women)
2. Single sex companies (i.e. All male Uber, male VC firms, female VC firms,etc. Male VC firms fund Male startups and Female VC firms fund Female startups)
1. Single sex education (like in the old days when Harvard was for men and Wellesley was for women)
2. Single sex companies (i.e. All male Uber, male VC firms, female VC firms,etc. Male VC firms fund Male startups and Female VC firms fund Female startups)
4
So, separate but "equal."
23
To@jsabinus
No, as history suggests, the gender segregation, in terms of achievement, would prove to be "separate but, ultimately, unequal". (e.g. Theranos + Elizabeth Holmes)
In fact, equality has nothing to do with this suggested gender segregation. It is a time proven method of resolving this endless, mindless and tiresome whine of "sexual harassment". I noted how, in the article, some "educated" women now consider the mere acknowledgment of "affection" harassment. Perhaps they need a "safe place" to retreat. They won't find it in a company of "Super Achievers" in Silicon Valley. Now the privileged women of Silicon Valley complain of harassment.. As if they didn't know what they were getting into when they forcibly joined the fraternity of testosterone filled "Super-Achievers". BTW, can you publish their incomes so we really know the "compromises" they have each made?
Can you publish what the incomes are of these women so we can determine whether they have the financial wherewithal to hire legal counsel
No, as history suggests, the gender segregation, in terms of achievement, would prove to be "separate but, ultimately, unequal". (e.g. Theranos + Elizabeth Holmes)
In fact, equality has nothing to do with this suggested gender segregation. It is a time proven method of resolving this endless, mindless and tiresome whine of "sexual harassment". I noted how, in the article, some "educated" women now consider the mere acknowledgment of "affection" harassment. Perhaps they need a "safe place" to retreat. They won't find it in a company of "Super Achievers" in Silicon Valley. Now the privileged women of Silicon Valley complain of harassment.. As if they didn't know what they were getting into when they forcibly joined the fraternity of testosterone filled "Super-Achievers". BTW, can you publish their incomes so we really know the "compromises" they have each made?
Can you publish what the incomes are of these women so we can determine whether they have the financial wherewithal to hire legal counsel
2
... or, you know, maybe, men could stop harassing women.
Is it so impossible to believe that a man can interact with a woman without harassing or assaulting her, that you are suggesting extreme sex segregation? And if so, what does that say about our culture in this moment?
Is it so impossible to believe that a man can interact with a woman without harassing or assaulting her, that you are suggesting extreme sex segregation? And if so, what does that say about our culture in this moment?
4
Here is my own experience. Last fall I taught a course on game theory and had two women in my class. During the final examination, one of the women finished early and so I graded her exam on the spot. The other woman looked at me with curiosity and I showed her that the first one had got 49/50. Then I said to her, "Can YOU do better?" This was a challenge since there was not much room to do better.
But she managed and got 50/50.
Both women got an A+ and one woman who was taking the same course but by mail got an A. None of the men got a straight A.
But the woman who got 50/50 is not a feminist. She goes by her husband's name and when I discuss issues with her, her viewpoint is pragmatic rather than "progressive" or "feminist".
She knows that life is complex and putting labels on people is not the right way to understand them. Indeed The only woman to receive the Nobel prize in Economics, Elinor Ostrom also took her husband's name.
Feminism does not equal achievement. It may help to achieve and it may hinder achievement. Depends on the individual case.
But she managed and got 50/50.
Both women got an A+ and one woman who was taking the same course but by mail got an A. None of the men got a straight A.
But the woman who got 50/50 is not a feminist. She goes by her husband's name and when I discuss issues with her, her viewpoint is pragmatic rather than "progressive" or "feminist".
She knows that life is complex and putting labels on people is not the right way to understand them. Indeed The only woman to receive the Nobel prize in Economics, Elinor Ostrom also took her husband's name.
Feminism does not equal achievement. It may help to achieve and it may hinder achievement. Depends on the individual case.
17
Sorry, what does this have to do with the topic of this article? You taught a brilliant woman and she is not a feminist. So ? This article is about pervasive sexism and harassment in my field. There are plenty of feminist women and non-feminist women in this field - none of them deserves to be harassed, propositioned, ogled, treated like property or a pet. This is about extending them the courtesy of seeing them as what they are, people. The same way we treat the men in this field like people.
69
What is the point? Plenty of smart women are feminists. Because some aren't, does it prove anything?
32
What is your point? That the women in your class shouldn't care about equal pay or equal job opportunities or whether they are harassed or groped?
Moreover, as an academic, why are you relying on this limited data set for your dubious claim about feminism and achievement?
Moreover, as an academic, why are you relying on this limited data set for your dubious claim about feminism and achievement?
45
Crazy world.
Male dominated tech industry where women are sexually harassed and female dominated teaching industry where students are raped.
People, regardless of gender, need to learn learn basic decency and character.
Male dominated tech industry where women are sexually harassed and female dominated teaching industry where students are raped.
People, regardless of gender, need to learn learn basic decency and character.
5
So, in the teaching industry, are the children overwhelmingly raped by their female teachers?
14
@Seriously: That's a good question.
3
You've introduced the term "overwhelming". Are you implying that an overwhelming number of females are harassed by an overwhelming number of males in Silicon Valley? Or an overwhelming number of females in Silicon Valley, due to the fact that their representation is limited, are harassed by small a percentage of men?
These articles often lack clarity due to their search for a compelling, but simplistic, 'us against them' scenario. "Good people against bad men." That evil "male culture". Sexual harassment is wrong, whether it's perpetrated by some Silicon Valley exec or a school teacher.
The issue, whether in Silicon Valley, NYTimes Boardrooms, Hospitals, Wall Street, Academia, is character and basic common decency.
These articles often lack clarity due to their search for a compelling, but simplistic, 'us against them' scenario. "Good people against bad men." That evil "male culture". Sexual harassment is wrong, whether it's perpetrated by some Silicon Valley exec or a school teacher.
The issue, whether in Silicon Valley, NYTimes Boardrooms, Hospitals, Wall Street, Academia, is character and basic common decency.
6
I'm an IT professional. Outnumbered throughout my career. I've heard countless times that women in technology is decreasing. Not surprised. I'm also not surprised by the stories in this article. What I AM surprised about is the comments expressing shock or disbelief that this is happening. Women in business tolerate quite a bit - sexual harassment, passed over for promotions, marginalized. All the while hearing other women's and men deny that sexism or misogyny exists. It exists.....
86
The Times should start interviewing women in Academia too. I'm sure these cases are not limited to Silicon Valley or start-up culture.
39
You certainly have that right.
14
The difference is that instead of a group of young guys with power, you have a group of older men with power and all of the generational differences that also brings. Very similiar to the Tech Industry, especially in the sciences.
8
It's everywhere! I'm a lawyer and throughout my working life (in law and elsewhere) I've experienced sexist remarks, sexual looks, come-ons, unwanted touching and kissing. It's no wonder many women who have the choice throw in the towel and stay home, which is where many of these men probably prefer them to be. Stand tall ladies and keep fighting. Don't let these morons win!
2
The following might not be the most popular opinion on here, or the most politically correct, but please, cry me a river.
There are so many advantages that women get here in the tech industry just because of their looks and the fact they are female. A cute girl applying for a job? Much easier to get a job offer. Is she an engineer? Well, come to the front of the line as there are so few women engineers, you are needed to increase our diversity.
There are countless times a woman is given a better performance review rating than their male counterparts (especially in tech), because they can use their looks to get ahead. If anything it is much less of a problem in the tech industry as most of the guys are awkward nerds when it comes to social interactions.
There are so many advantages that women get here in the tech industry just because of their looks and the fact they are female. A cute girl applying for a job? Much easier to get a job offer. Is she an engineer? Well, come to the front of the line as there are so few women engineers, you are needed to increase our diversity.
There are countless times a woman is given a better performance review rating than their male counterparts (especially in tech), because they can use their looks to get ahead. If anything it is much less of a problem in the tech industry as most of the guys are awkward nerds when it comes to social interactions.
15
After 20 years, I can categorical confirm your anecdotal observation is not supported by data. "Cute" women do not get jobs faster than the brocoder. Awesome female coders do not get jobs that pay more. When they are hired finally, they are routinely paid less. When it comes time for promotion, the brocoder gets the nod. Not only does data support that conclusion, it happened over and over in my long career, and I'm fairly well recognized for my expertise. I saved and made my company millions. But the bro that plays boys-only softball gets the boost.
Have you ever heard the saying "backward and in high heels?" Ginger Rogers had to be as proficient and graceful as Fred Astaire, but backward and in high heels. This is the life if any woman I know in IT. I know hundreds.
Let's trade privilege and see how you do backward and in high heels. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Have you ever heard the saying "backward and in high heels?" Ginger Rogers had to be as proficient and graceful as Fred Astaire, but backward and in high heels. This is the life if any woman I know in IT. I know hundreds.
Let's trade privilege and see how you do backward and in high heels. Metaphorically speaking, of course.
20
What data do you have to back that up? Show me a study that proves attractive women get more job offers than attractive men.
10
How are these looks 'used'? Young women tend to be attractive to heterosexual men. Please suggest your solution to this issue rather than just complain. Would you suggest burkas etc? Women present to work in the morning with the face and body God or nature granted them. If a man is foolish enough to give a women a high performance rating because of this (I challenge you to back if this assertion with data) then he has no one to blame but himself. You seem to be suggesting that sexual harassment and worse is justified by such nonsense. Grow up.
27
The attitude of VC and tech Moguls illustrated in this article has consequences in addition to abuse of women entrepreneurs and employees. These VC, and tech corporate leadership are swimming in money from pension funds, and 401K money of hardworking citizens. The fact that they demonstrate such poor judgement and impulse control bodes ill for pensions and retirements of worker bees nationwide. Ultimately, this long standing behavior indicates severe lack of regulation and rule of law on corporate vultures playing with other peoples money.
14
And yet the California high tech jobs engine fueled by VC is held up as an example to flyover country of how things can work in their progressive state.
Go figure.
Go figure.
4
I have a hunch the on-the-job abuse can be found in plenty of "flyover" states as well.
California is not flourishing because of this abuse. It's flourishing for a myriad of other reasons. Maybe there is something the "flyover" states could learn from those.
And meanwhile, it needs to keep raising its standards by eliminating injustices such as those described in the article.
California is not flourishing because of this abuse. It's flourishing for a myriad of other reasons. Maybe there is something the "flyover" states could learn from those.
And meanwhile, it needs to keep raising its standards by eliminating injustices such as those described in the article.
3
"California is not flourishing because of this abuse"
Correct, it's flourishing due to a VC machine driven by a new generation young-old-boys network.
Gotta love those networks and Manifest Destiny!
Correct, it's flourishing due to a VC machine driven by a new generation young-old-boys network.
Gotta love those networks and Manifest Destiny!
I have been sexually harassed in so many ways by so many people I could write a book. I am completely average looking and pushing 50, i.e. living proof that this happens to everyone. I applaud these women for naming names, and the NY Times for putting this piece the home page of the digital edition, but let's not forget this is just the tip of the iceberg. We still live in a world where it is quite damaging to one's career to do more than say we're flattered, but not thanks.
72
Thank you to all of these women for going public. It's a scary risk to take.
351
It's not just a risk; it's pretty much a guarantee that a woman will be sidelined, blacklisted, and lose out on future opportunities.
4
It is indeed. I'm still trying to understand CNBC anchor Michelle Caruso-Cabrera downplaying the fact that a woman called out Uber's sexist culture. She stated that it was easier to call out the conduct because Uber was a relatively small company.
It made my week when her follow anchor Jon Fortt replied that the size of the company didn't matter since complaining could result in the woman being ostracized from her profession. Great observation Mr. Fortt!
It made my week when her follow anchor Jon Fortt replied that the size of the company didn't matter since complaining could result in the woman being ostracized from her profession. Great observation Mr. Fortt!
3
Sexism, like racism and many other ills of our culture, is so deeply ingrained it has become second nature for men. So while it's bad and should be rooted out, don't expect things to change in hurry. It would help if men were more sensitive, and women a bit less.
4
It would help even more if parents ingrained somd decent values, other than 'win at all cost'.
1
Historically any institution where men have power over women this kind behavior is unfortunately too common. I don't believe it is isolated to Silicon Valley based on my 25 yes working in Silicon Valley.
9
"I don't believe it is isolated to Silicon Valley"
No it's not. Just look at WJC's predatory behavior while serving as POTUS. But at least he had Hillary defending him, And she got a run at the White House out of the deal. So there's that I guess....
No it's not. Just look at WJC's predatory behavior while serving as POTUS. But at least he had Hillary defending him, And she got a run at the White House out of the deal. So there's that I guess....
3
I worked for a very large restaurant owned by a large corporation. I started as a hostess, worked as a waitress, and then was "promoted" to work in the office doing the daily audit and sales report. In all of my positions I worked very hard because I was a single parent at the time raising two small children and receiving no child support.
I decided to apply for a management position because the pay was twice what I was making in the office. The hours were horrendous, but I needed the money. When I applied for the position, one of the current managers asked me why I didn't just get married again rather than taking this route. Eventually the person who was hired for the management position was a man that was not only younger than I was, but that had absolutely no restaurant experience. He came from the construction sector.
Ironically, I did eventually end up re-marrying, and the marriage has lasted 34 years. I married one of the kitchen managers several years later, but as soon as upper management found out that we were married, I was asked to leave since his position in the company was so much more vital than mine. There was no consideration given to which one of us had been there longer. It was the "woman's place" to bow out while the man / husband carried on for the company.
You might say that things turned out for the better for me, but I would have preferred to have been judged then and in all future positions in academia by my merits and not by my chromosomes.
I decided to apply for a management position because the pay was twice what I was making in the office. The hours were horrendous, but I needed the money. When I applied for the position, one of the current managers asked me why I didn't just get married again rather than taking this route. Eventually the person who was hired for the management position was a man that was not only younger than I was, but that had absolutely no restaurant experience. He came from the construction sector.
Ironically, I did eventually end up re-marrying, and the marriage has lasted 34 years. I married one of the kitchen managers several years later, but as soon as upper management found out that we were married, I was asked to leave since his position in the company was so much more vital than mine. There was no consideration given to which one of us had been there longer. It was the "woman's place" to bow out while the man / husband carried on for the company.
You might say that things turned out for the better for me, but I would have preferred to have been judged then and in all future positions in academia by my merits and not by my chromosomes.
44
This is an important first probe into the issue of white male dominance of Silicon Valley - hopefully your next piece will focus on racial inequity - African American women and men are noticeably absent from this profile. Let's hear more about why there is such a glaring lack of diversity in the Valley.
17
The best thing you could do to remedy this situation is to encourage African-Americans to pursue engineering and computer science degrees.
Yes yes some of the wealthy in Silicon Valley did not finish post-secondary education or have degrees other than STEM but the reality is that in order to take part in the wealth engine there, engineering is still the best path forward.
But the NY Times never seems to print the breakdown of demographics of grads from Stanford when they do their periodic expose' of the injustices in Silicon Valley.
Yes yes some of the wealthy in Silicon Valley did not finish post-secondary education or have degrees other than STEM but the reality is that in order to take part in the wealth engine there, engineering is still the best path forward.
But the NY Times never seems to print the breakdown of demographics of grads from Stanford when they do their periodic expose' of the injustices in Silicon Valley.
6
Saddened but thankful for your article. I imagined these high tech companies were being led by sophisticated liberal individuals who valued equality and respected one another and others. Alas, the culture of self interest and taking all you think you are entitled to has taken hold. It's time for accountability, enforcement and education for folks who still don't get it.
8
Progressives in California behaving worse than badly. Who knew that could happen.
9
Nah, most of the VC crowd are libertarian and lean conservative. Hardly progressive at all.
21
Progressive men are still men. I have had liberal men put me down and insinuate that I am not able to think for myself. It is a problem across the board. It is not political, it is how men are raised to think they are entitled and everyone else is their servant. White men are the worst.
23
You don't know much about Silicon Valley, do you vulcanlex?
6
Applauding the times for reporting and valuing women's issues and making it present that problems and solutions exist to better the lives of women.
32
“We failed to follow up on information about Mr. Caldbeck’s personal behavior,” Legacy said in a statement. “We regret this oversight and are determined to do better.”
---
"We are a-okay with Mr. Caldbeck's personal behavior. Heck, we all do it!" Legacy said in a statement. "We regret we got caught and are determined to pretend we will do better."
There, I fixed that for you.
---
"We are a-okay with Mr. Caldbeck's personal behavior. Heck, we all do it!" Legacy said in a statement. "We regret we got caught and are determined to pretend we will do better."
There, I fixed that for you.
192
So glad these women have the courage to speak up. More female VC's should seek them out and invest in their companies.
17
I worked at one of the hottest ad agencies in NYC right after college, in 1970, and my boss wanted to help me become a copywriter. He asked the creative director to work with me. The creative director, who was going through a divorce, propositioned me. When I turned him down, he offered me money. Then he kept stopping by my desk, offering me more money, and telling me that if I didn't sleep with him he wouldn't help me. I said something to my boss, who just laughed and said that the creative director was having a hard time because of his divorce. This was back in the day when the help wanted ads in the NY Times listed jobs separately for men and women, and when copy like "Bright, attractive young girls for front office job" was commonplace. Less attractive women were relegated to back office jobs. All of this was legal, and done openly. When I asked the personnel director for a raise, she said, "Don't you realize that there are married men working here who don't make any more than you do?" Much has changed since those days, but much has not. Old battles don't stay won, but must be fought anew by every generation, and at different levels.
648
"Old battles don't stay won," is a classic and succinct description of what we all face, every day. Sadly every generation. Thank you for the thought, it puts into words what I have been trying to tell my children, then grandchildren, and hopefully the new great grandchildren one day.
29
In the 1990s I was a Sr. Lecturer teaching in the business school at Arizona State University. I had been asked to design and manage a weeklong exec ed program for a fee. After I had decided on the theme, lined up the speakers and written the brochure copy, my dept. chair told me he was re-assigning the program to a male colleague who needed the money because he had 4 kids. I was single. The next day I went to his office and, to make a point, I told him I was pregnant and wanted to know what he was going to do to increase my income since I would be a single mom. He told me to get out. Will this never end?
4
That was 47 years ago, when Nixon was President.
1
It's just shocking--shocking I tell you--that this kind of behavior persists in a species evolved from a common ape ancestor. Defies explanation really. I'm sure more education and political activism will completely overwrite the faulty biopsychological wiring in just another few years.
12
I read this and felt as if I had been transported to the 19th century. How naive I have been. But wait, if I had a twitter account, I would understand...right? If POTUS can grope and brag about it...then it's OK, right?
16
You are of course misinformed, the president was talking about what the famous could probably get away with, not what he did. And Bill Clinton had sex with an intern in the oval office and is still admired by folks.
5
Better comparison:
The 13 white male republicans making health care policy for women.
The 13 white male republicans making health care policy for women.
1
Thank you New York Times for zeroing in on this human rights issue. The Equality March in Washington & the Dyke March & Trans March & Pride Parade in San Francisco address more than LGBTQIA. Heterosexual women also feel the brunt of patriarchy. Playwright Dr Larry Myers is in San Francisco all summer with his Playwrights Sanctuary which is mentoring unheard voices & unseen faces-- tent city dwellers & homeless gay teens. Add women of cyber land to this mix. Professor Myers (of St John's University in NYC)'s Playwrights Sanctuary was endorsed by the late legendary Edward Albee before his passing. Myers was the first to pen plays about Silicon Valley shenanigans -- "twitter theater" & "Facebook Puberty." The Times interviewed him twice re: twitter play but printed zero. With all the talented neglected actresses around a third play should complete these as a trilogy.
5
Sure there is sexual harassment here. But there are also some women who have become CEOs on the strength of their relationships with engineers and others who have sued for sexual harassment one minute and benefitted from it the next.
We women do not benefit from this hypocrisy and inconsistency. This over compensation brought us Trump.
I wish that every real sexual harassment case is brought up and every fake one is dismissed.
We women do not benefit from this hypocrisy and inconsistency. This over compensation brought us Trump.
I wish that every real sexual harassment case is brought up and every fake one is dismissed.
12
Sure blame the current president, not say Bill Clinton who had sex with an intern in the oval office.
7
vulcanalex And furthermore, so your understandable reaction against PC opportunistic behavior, which made you vote for Don the Con, will mean that healthcare costs will go up, many will lose coverage, your clean air and water and healthy food will no longer be protected, lots of people will have unwanted and unloved babies because Planned Parenthood wont be funded, these unwanted babies will be angry and more likely to turn to crime, and for that the NRA will give them guns so every dispute becomes a fatality, and climate change will come sooner, and the only thing the GOP cares about, tax cuts for the superich, will make the country poorer by putting it into the pockets of wallst and valley gamblers not your average american....sorry but you gotta see the light!
1
vulcanelex, Thats not want I meant. Clinton is worse than Trump as a rapist and sexual harasser.
What I meant is that women who trade on their sexuality one minute and sue for sexual harassment the next minute have made a lot of people very angry against what they see as being PC, I mean politically correct. You guys are made angry by this. And I understand your anger. And it is this anger that has reacted against anyone who is left of Genghis Khan and made you vote for a dishonest Don the Con.
What I meant is that women who trade on their sexuality one minute and sue for sexual harassment the next minute have made a lot of people very angry against what they see as being PC, I mean politically correct. You guys are made angry by this. And I understand your anger. And it is this anger that has reacted against anyone who is left of Genghis Khan and made you vote for a dishonest Don the Con.
1
I haven't doubt that these VC nerds are guilty of the despicable acts described herein. It must stop. Now. But I also think we are naive to the point of willfully blind to think that female entrepreneurs in Silicon Valley and Alley are walking a very fine line and they know it. The batting of the eyelashes and shaking of tail feathers are real and calculated. That should stop too if we're going to address this once and for all.
10
Stop justifying the behavior and start taking responsibility. You're part of the problem!
20
To Heidi. No. I'm not. I'm just capable of thinking critically. Something that is in urgently short supply at this cultural moment. Stop pretending this is an easy,
One-sided issue. You're part of the problem.
One-sided issue. You're part of the problem.
1
Another version of "what were you wearing the night you were raped?" So if women would just stop being women, then men would know how to behave around them?
3
I hope that some of these women will file suit against the people who committed these acts and the companies that employed them. Hit them in the two places where they are most sensitive: their reputation and their checking account.
But a public trial would be best. On criminal charges...
But a public trial would be best. On criminal charges...
8
What criminal charges? Otherwise I agree but bringing up things that are impossible makes you seem overly emotional and incorrect.
7
Earth to vulcanalex: sexual harassment is illegal. Over.
13
Exactly what law are these guys breaking? Hitting on someone who's asking you for money is not against the law.
4
The Primal Question of Existence is Survival, Growth, Evolution. Sexual activity is next to being fed.
What world are these women living in? They have chosen to live an artificial lifestyle by emasculating their womanhood in service of Corporate Capitalism that considers family, children to be bad for the bottom line. Pregnancy costs money. CC encourages un-productive same-sex unions.
And these women want men to do the same. Good luck. Lord's Law will always trump man's law.
The faithful (Jews, Christians, Muslims) have a better idea - follow Survive, Grow, and Evolve with traditional gender roles. There is time tested wisdom in that. Corporate Capitalism flaunt it at its own peril. No sex, no children, no future. No wonder the society is below replenishment. That is short term gain for long term pain.
What world are these women living in? They have chosen to live an artificial lifestyle by emasculating their womanhood in service of Corporate Capitalism that considers family, children to be bad for the bottom line. Pregnancy costs money. CC encourages un-productive same-sex unions.
And these women want men to do the same. Good luck. Lord's Law will always trump man's law.
The faithful (Jews, Christians, Muslims) have a better idea - follow Survive, Grow, and Evolve with traditional gender roles. There is time tested wisdom in that. Corporate Capitalism flaunt it at its own peril. No sex, no children, no future. No wonder the society is below replenishment. That is short term gain for long term pain.
6
So you're saying they deserve sexual harassment because... they're women with a career?
19
His point is so much more nuanced than that! *eyeroll*
I think he's saying that god wants men to harass and assault women. You know, to punish them for being in the workforce.
I think he's saying that god wants men to harass and assault women. You know, to punish them for being in the workforce.
3
As several have pointed out, this is not a problem that is isolated within Silicon Valley. However, it should also be pointed out that this is not a problem perpetrated only by men. For instance, within the last 30-days there have been at least 6 documented court cases across the country where FEMALE teachers have be accused o fhaving sexual relations with their teenage/underage male students. I would venture to say that there are also many men in subordinate positions that have been propositioned, harassed, or groped by women in power. Of course, given our culture, it takes a very brave man (or boy) to come forward and make those claims public.
While I am not trying to minimize, and certainly not condoning, the behaviors described in the article, one must realize that we are talking about a human condition that transverses sex and location. Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
While I am not trying to minimize, and certainly not condoning, the behaviors described in the article, one must realize that we are talking about a human condition that transverses sex and location. Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts, absolutely.
136
I appreciate your comment and criticism. As someone that identifies as a woman in a male dominated field (economics), I found the times reporting on an issue like this was extremely satisfying and comforting. Looking at the larger picture, your criticism is still on point but I think the piece does more good than harm. Thoughts?
1
No one have to tolerate sexual harassment period. Since women in executive management across Fortune 500 companies is 14%, in financial or healthcare industries 12% and this is the trend across every industry...and it's not because we're not as smart because more women are graduating from college then men and at the top of their class. It's just that women aren't usually in a position to be sexually harassed because we're not the ones in leadership positions.
2
So following what you are saying, if women have power, they'll start acting like all these men? Interesting. You may not be trying to minimize it, but you really are. I don't deny anything about what you're saying with the teachers and those boys. It is wrong. It's obvious to me these women are financially dependent and that is why they've put up with it, which is the same reason anyone would not report harassment. I would contend it's far more common for men to harass women, but perhaps it's just a matter of power.
8
I wish I could say I'm surprised at these revelations, but I'm not. At least I retain the ability to be shocked - shocked that men are still pulling this stuff, giving all men a bad name.
I'm glad the women are speaking out, and they should continue to, starting at the instant the harassment - call it abuse, because that's what it really is - at the instant the abuse takes place. Call it out, loudly, to their faces, to anybody in the vicinity, make it loud and clear.
Men would not tolerate that kind of abuse directed toward them, and women shouldn't either. They don't have to anymore. Whatever restrains a woman from making a huge deal of this kind of behavior - fear of retaliation or of being blamed, socialization, embarrassment, whatever it is - don't feel restrained. These men are bullies, and bullies back down quickly when someone fights back. Bullies are weak, and they're actually easy to overcome. Shout it out - if you're in public when it happens, slap his face hard - report him to his bosses, board of directors, his (unlucky) wife, his friends, sue him into bankruptcy, call Gloria Allred. If enough women get aggressive in response to this abuse, sooner or later a critical mass will be reached and the men who think they can get away with it will think twice.
I'm glad the women are speaking out, and they should continue to, starting at the instant the harassment - call it abuse, because that's what it really is - at the instant the abuse takes place. Call it out, loudly, to their faces, to anybody in the vicinity, make it loud and clear.
Men would not tolerate that kind of abuse directed toward them, and women shouldn't either. They don't have to anymore. Whatever restrains a woman from making a huge deal of this kind of behavior - fear of retaliation or of being blamed, socialization, embarrassment, whatever it is - don't feel restrained. These men are bullies, and bullies back down quickly when someone fights back. Bullies are weak, and they're actually easy to overcome. Shout it out - if you're in public when it happens, slap his face hard - report him to his bosses, board of directors, his (unlucky) wife, his friends, sue him into bankruptcy, call Gloria Allred. If enough women get aggressive in response to this abuse, sooner or later a critical mass will be reached and the men who think they can get away with it will think twice.
14
Women do speak out, we do report. We document, we yell, we sue.
... But nobody believes us.
And people blame us. Read the comments here -- there are more than a few suggesting that women in tech bat their eyelashes and flirt just to get jobs or funding. And therefore this "harassment" is really all our fault.
When a man says something happened, he is believed by default. Not so for women. Look how many women came forward saying Donald Trump groped them and assaulted them. Were they believed?
You call these men bullies and say they're "weak" -- but they have all the control in these situations. They choose whether to fund, or not. Whether to hire, or not. That is power. Sure, they're weak when it comes to character, but they have real power in the real world.
You are wishfully thinking that women can make men stop abusing and harassing. As if it's the responsibility of women. As if we're to blame for this, too. Why not lay the blame -- and the responsibility to change behavior -- at the feet of the harassers, where it belongs?
... But nobody believes us.
And people blame us. Read the comments here -- there are more than a few suggesting that women in tech bat their eyelashes and flirt just to get jobs or funding. And therefore this "harassment" is really all our fault.
When a man says something happened, he is believed by default. Not so for women. Look how many women came forward saying Donald Trump groped them and assaulted them. Were they believed?
You call these men bullies and say they're "weak" -- but they have all the control in these situations. They choose whether to fund, or not. Whether to hire, or not. That is power. Sure, they're weak when it comes to character, but they have real power in the real world.
You are wishfully thinking that women can make men stop abusing and harassing. As if it's the responsibility of women. As if we're to blame for this, too. Why not lay the blame -- and the responsibility to change behavior -- at the feet of the harassers, where it belongs?
2
Slapping a man in the face is considered to be assault and battery and can get a woman arrested. Suing the wrong-doers and taking their money is a method that capitalists and men understand.
1
This is nothing new. Ages ago, interviewed with a firm, didn't get an offer, then the hiring manager asked me out on a date. Maybe he thought he was being ethical by not dating a new hire? Either way I lost out on a good job.
9
Wow!!! The nerve of that hiring manager! Thanks for sharing that story
6
Or maybe those two things aren't causally linked? Just kidding--obviously one has to have caused the other because they both happened.
1
Hmm, yes, Wam, except I did get an offer from one of the top three firms in the industry, and my first supervisor there said that guy had done the same thing to her! So male predators in positions of power are nothing new.
4
Rich people are terrible and get away with it. Until justice is just, rich, entitled, delusional, jerks, everywhere, will do whatever they will without consequences, especially if they are white. (Or Bill Cosby.)
3
Poor people are terrible too. Actually, I believe people are by and large pretty horrible. That includes black people too. And religious people. They are probably the worst and the biggest hypocrites.
5
Every day women become the property of men, the moment they throw away their own name and become Mrs. Insert husband's name. This practice was an outgrowth of Coverture which we adopted from the British who in turn got it from the Norman's Femme Covert (a married woman ceased to be a human under the law and she became her husband's property so he could claim the property she brought to the marriage - property cannot own property). We celebrate this practice of turning women into property every day and then are amazed that men act as if they can do as they like with women. Barack Obama - the poster boy of "equality" erased Michelle Robinson and replaced that human being with his claim to a piece of property "Mrs. Barack Obama" (with her consent) - in Atwood terms "OfBarack." Ironic isn't it. (Also, men are fully aware that they get to own their children by putting their last name on them even though it is the woman who does all the work, the 35 years of bleeding, the pain etc to bear the child - Meritocracy or unearned privilege? Would we let our children take credit for the work someone else did? ). . If we don't acknowledge that we celebrate men owing women as property, we cannot be surprised when men feel they have the right to act as if women are something they can own.
402
This has inspired me to write a play Thanks.
6
Wow great criticism. Obviously name taking has become so habitual. Conversations about its consequences should defiantly be considered. Obviously that is one example of one of the many problems women and men promote women as less than.
4
What's interesting about your ideas is the fact that in 90% of all the married couples I know, the women pressed the men to get married.
5
Clearly as these men demonstrate, money can't buy you class nor self-esteem. And it's just as well demonstrated by our current president.
14
I will not deny that there is a problem in the tech industry and in other industries. I've been in the tech industry for 35 years. As in any other industry, there are a lot of men in the tech industry who encourage and support women. Unfortunately, it is the most powerful men who think that they can get away with anything and so try do do so. And specifically in the tech industry, much of the success of these men has to do with luck. They were in the right place at the right time and made a fortune out of it. But they think that they are more brilliant than any other in the room. Further more, many of those most successful men are pretty much jerks (I could use a stronger word) in all aspects, not just the way they treat women. Get rid of the jerks, and you get rid of a lot of the sexual harassment problem. Of course, there is no easy way to get rid of the jerks.
7
Apparently money doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with maturity.
Do the rich men in question really have trouble getting non-coerced dates?
www.thewaryouknow.com
Do the rich men in question really have trouble getting non-coerced dates?
www.thewaryouknow.com
5
It has been a man's world since history began. We may want to change that fact but it will never happen.
We'll keep trying, if it's ok with you.
32
As a man who has worked in supervisory and other jobs for 40 years in journalism and legal, I believe I have never remotely engaged in this type of behavior and now I'm proud of it. Thanks, Mom and Dad, for raising me right.
52
This is not a matter of California or any other part of the country. It is about money. Money is power and power breeds lust. It takes an honorable human being to behave decently. Possession of money and common decency don't always have to go together. Look at the man in the White House.
Partners in VCs have long been known to behave like their counterparts in I-Banks. It is only now that there is some renewed scrutiny around such behavior. Will it change? Ask yourself if attitudes in I-Banks today are any better than what they were 20 years ago.
Partners in VCs have long been known to behave like their counterparts in I-Banks. It is only now that there is some renewed scrutiny around such behavior. Will it change? Ask yourself if attitudes in I-Banks today are any better than what they were 20 years ago.
12
This year 2 plays by women came to great prominence. "Sweat" (about working class women) & Paula Vogel's great lesbian Jewish theater play. Women of the theater must write about this. These are unheard voices & invisible women.
people are deceived that Silicon Valley is all about inclusive success. Wrong!
people are deceived that Silicon Valley is all about inclusive success. Wrong!
7
We men must also stand against this improper behavior, which has no place in the workplace. Not only is it disgusting, but also reflects poor judgment, a lack of moral standards and is action which is nothing short of pathetic (the geeky joker who prefers blackmail to real dating -real macho) Where I'm from men like that weren't tolerated by other men. Time to man up nerds. Every one of these women is somebody's daughter, somebody's mother, somebody's sister...
35
Great.I know there are more decent men than these idiots that keep making headlines
I know three. My sons.
I know three. My sons.
6
Every one of these women is somebody.
19
Where are you from please? I have never been to a place where this type of behavior did not occur. I've worked with many men who did not behave like jerks, but I can recall only once that a man stood up and called other men on their behavior toward women in the workplace. That was in Denver.
1
I was in living and working in the Silicon Valley 45 years ago, and sexual harassment was happening then. For that matter, it was happening when I lived in Albany, N.Y. prior to that. Only recently, prior to the November 2016 election, it took those allegations by several women vs. Trump and his denials for me to selectively speak of my experiences to friends. What's new now is the bravery of the women willing to speak out while risking being shamed in the same way that we would have been in the "olden days" had we not remained silent.
53
put it this way. a lot of men at like donald trump in the UT world. Don't let my name fool you. every woman engineer has a stripper club story ie where all the guys invite the sole woman on the team for dinner and suprise surprise its a strip club.
19
sorry spelling mistakes. are like Donald Trump in the IT world. I thought maybe things would get better if Hilary was elected but no.
2
It is the new, millennial generation's time to take up the torch that their mother's and others have proverbially handed over to them. Feminism or women's rights, like Democracy, must be constantly fought for or lost.
I think many of these young ones just took for granted what their foremothers had worked so hard towards for several generations.
It is not much different today, just a different era. Also they're not in a protective college setting anymore. It's the real, work world and it is tough out there. Welcome to the reality of being a young woman in a modern man's world. Same as it ever was.
Unite your money, minds and talent then make work for yourselves.
Be your own bosses.
I think many of these young ones just took for granted what their foremothers had worked so hard towards for several generations.
It is not much different today, just a different era. Also they're not in a protective college setting anymore. It's the real, work world and it is tough out there. Welcome to the reality of being a young woman in a modern man's world. Same as it ever was.
Unite your money, minds and talent then make work for yourselves.
Be your own bosses.
30
That's depressing since not many Gen Y'ers seem to want to stand up for Democracy.
1
When ANYONE can't determine what is a pass and what isn't and also handle that pass, then they have no business BEING in business. I have made a few passes, some of which were accepted, such as dinner, drinks, or gaze at the moon and also had women say no, and politely change the subject. That's life. If they are attractive women, they need to be prepared for someone to make a pass. Some men are rude, crude, and their "technique" is unacceptable and should be rebuked accordingly, but to call a lawyer to represent you? Not so smart. By the way, I have had women make passes to me...even when I was married....and they got politely turned down and there was never repercussions....most of the time, we laughed about it later! You need to toughen up ladies and realize you are part of the game of life.
16
Keep personal life and business separate.
20
This guy sounds like Trump. At no point is making a pass at a woman who is applying for a job acceptable, ever. No matter what they look like.
26
@Mickey
You seem to have missed the reports by women quoted in this article about the nearly universal consequences of rebuffing unwanted advances in business situations: damage to the woman's career.
As for not recognizing a pass -- it's you and other immature men who need to learn the difference between asking a woman out for a drink and making unwanted sexual advances.
You and your frat boy bros need to GROW UP and realize you haven't learned that women are the equals of men -- and superior to little boys who "make passes"
You seem to have missed the reports by women quoted in this article about the nearly universal consequences of rebuffing unwanted advances in business situations: damage to the woman's career.
As for not recognizing a pass -- it's you and other immature men who need to learn the difference between asking a woman out for a drink and making unwanted sexual advances.
You and your frat boy bros need to GROW UP and realize you haven't learned that women are the equals of men -- and superior to little boys who "make passes"
24
Thank you for your courage ladies in sharing your stories and in naming and shaming. You should be applauded.
Coming from a background in banking and now working in tech....I've seen it all.
The power imbalance makes it SO hard to speak up because more often than not, management is dominated by men who instinctively take the side of the perpetrator (because he's one us "us" and anyways...she thinks she's too good/can't she take a joke/she should be grateful we're even talking to her and offering her funding).
So the perpetrator is never punished, the behavior is in effect provided acceptance to continue - then the worst part? The whistleblower gets labeled a "trouble maker" - and all your career progression prospects fall away.
And people ask why women struggle to climb the ladder or choose to walk away from big careers.
Coming from a background in banking and now working in tech....I've seen it all.
The power imbalance makes it SO hard to speak up because more often than not, management is dominated by men who instinctively take the side of the perpetrator (because he's one us "us" and anyways...she thinks she's too good/can't she take a joke/she should be grateful we're even talking to her and offering her funding).
So the perpetrator is never punished, the behavior is in effect provided acceptance to continue - then the worst part? The whistleblower gets labeled a "trouble maker" - and all your career progression prospects fall away.
And people ask why women struggle to climb the ladder or choose to walk away from big careers.
564
also a key factor in the persistent wage gap between men and women with similar education, work roles, and skills. the wage gap perpetuates the paradigm that keeps men in the power positions, and helps keep women in positions where they are faced with yielding to abuse in order to succeed.
The public discourse in the past 18 months, especially in the political arena, shows significant backward movement.
Continued attempts at control of women's reproductive abilities by men with power will ensure continued backward motion.
The public discourse in the past 18 months, especially in the political arena, shows significant backward movement.
Continued attempts at control of women's reproductive abilities by men with power will ensure continued backward motion.
2
I thought that sexism, misogyny, male chauvinism, or men being pigs in the workplace was on the wane over the last 4 decades. It seems as though money and power still colors how men see women. President Trump, Arnold Schwarzenegger, the ex-IMF chief Dominique Strauss-Kahn debacle, and the never ending Weiner news, Bill Cosby, Bill O'Reilly, Roger Ailes, are just more confirmation that not much has changed.
Working in the 60's & 70's was as much about hand to hand combat as it was about getting the job done. There were some situations that were so frightening that being forced into having sex was most certainly the lesser of the potential evils!
In male dominated industries ( I worked in electronics manufacturing and distribution for most of my career) women just expected to be subjected to this mauling and were expected to roll with it or find a way to handle the situation so that the abuser was not exposed or embarrassed if you wanted your job. There was little recourse since the majority of the abusers were the key executives.
The abusers are still hiding in plain sight. All the while seeking more power and gaining access to the highest offices. This same leadership that is so intent on legislating morality, has demonstrated that it is insecure, deficient, and gets its sense of superiority at the expense of others, especially women.
Working in the 60's & 70's was as much about hand to hand combat as it was about getting the job done. There were some situations that were so frightening that being forced into having sex was most certainly the lesser of the potential evils!
In male dominated industries ( I worked in electronics manufacturing and distribution for most of my career) women just expected to be subjected to this mauling and were expected to roll with it or find a way to handle the situation so that the abuser was not exposed or embarrassed if you wanted your job. There was little recourse since the majority of the abusers were the key executives.
The abusers are still hiding in plain sight. All the while seeking more power and gaining access to the highest offices. This same leadership that is so intent on legislating morality, has demonstrated that it is insecure, deficient, and gets its sense of superiority at the expense of others, especially women.
46
My mother tells the story of being a grocery store cashier in the 1960s. A young female co-worker was subjected to constant harrassment and groping from the stock boys. My mom and her other female cashiers dragged one of the boys into a stockroom and stripped him to his underwear over his protestations. The little stud didn't like that. Maybe if more women got together and ganged up on these clowns physically we wouldn't have these problems.
29
Ha, good of your mom for standing up to him.
4
Jen, I've read about 400 Comments so far. Many got a click. But only yours gets my full approval. Good Mom!
2
Well. I am a woman. I have and still do work in silicon valley. Believe all of it. It is sickening and frustrating how women are viewed as unimportant, not worthy of the same "serious" contributions, etc. One case in point that gets me to this day: As an art director, I inherited a team from a defunct project who moved to my team to work. One was a young man, a designer. My job as art director, of course, is to edit the work he contributed which I did, to this young man's furor. He complained to my senior coworker, a fellow male art director. That senior male art director pulled me aside in a conference room and screamed at the top of his lungs, "you have no right to edit so and so's work!". (it was actually way more vulgar than that and lasted at least ten mins). When I complained, nothing, and I mean nothing, was done. I was told by the company, "well just try to get along with them". That's it. This was in the heart of silicon valley, Palo Alto. I left the company of course but I am still very angry. These men literally do not women to do their jobs.
70
It's amazing to think (and heart-warming in its own way) that each of those men was woman-made. That's probably why they resent women so.
8
yep. When I started working for the IT department of a local municipality I put up with jokes about installing a stripper pole in my cubicle. I was detained in a room by a man who wouldn't let me out of the room. When I complained about it nothing was done. And I was eventually fired because I refused to have anything to do with this guy who was married and hit on any woman within striking distance. They got rid of me because of the "tension" whenever he was around. I was the impediment to his career. I don't think I ever worked in a situation where I was not harassed. Blonde women are not supposed to be smart. I literally had to tell someone that I know how to power on a computer.
17
This is a societal problem that allows males to treat females as unequal. It starts with fathers who mistreat their wives, especially in front of the kids. And with mothers who have issues with believing they are lower than men (internal sexism). The cycle continues through each generation.
It is not only male-dominated fields where women suffer careerwise. At one point, I was preparing to go for a masters in Social Science Research. One professor found out where I worked part-time in a public setting and showed up frequently uninvited to pester me for dates, "...because it would be good for my grade." Another, who was the head of our university research lab, told me to "...forget about it because women cannot do the statistical math" and refused to let me in the program. This was despite my being nominated for "Outstanding Student" by the university.
It is not only male-dominated fields where women suffer careerwise. At one point, I was preparing to go for a masters in Social Science Research. One professor found out where I worked part-time in a public setting and showed up frequently uninvited to pester me for dates, "...because it would be good for my grade." Another, who was the head of our university research lab, told me to "...forget about it because women cannot do the statistical math" and refused to let me in the program. This was despite my being nominated for "Outstanding Student" by the university.
35
The wink wink nudge nudge attitude that companies display instead of cracking down on bad behavior is what foments the formation of men like Trump. Men like this are never stopped and in many cases are rewarded financially and just keep ratcheting up their behavior because there are no consequences. They then begin to feel it is their right to behave so boorishly.
These men are oblivious to the damage they do. They are the top perpetrators of toxic masculinity. Time to name and shame.
These men are oblivious to the damage they do. They are the top perpetrators of toxic masculinity. Time to name and shame.
44
When a Silicon Valley start up I worked for in the 80's was for sale. We found out the potential buyers referred to the female employees as "The Women of ...". Openly oggling us.
10
Just look at the box office for "Wonder Woman" if you want to gauge the frustration of smart accomplished women in this country fighting the troglodyte male power structure and fed up to the teeth.
https://www.theverge.com/platform/amp/2017/6/30/15903092/wonder-woman-bo...
https://www.theverge.com/platform/amp/2017/6/30/15903092/wonder-woman-bo...
12
Right, because only angry women went to see it. Your troglodytes must have been too busy plotting to keep the male power structure together to go leer at Wonder Woman.
2
The jig is up. Thanks to these brave women - they are changing the world with their bravery.
18
I looked up Justin Caldbeck. I know not to judge a book by its cover, but he just looks creepy and dweeby. Perhaps he feels he has to abuse his position in order to get anywhere with women, given his inadequacy.
22
The flip side to this pervasive problem in the tech industry is that women over 40 are sexually "undesirable" therefore not a "culture fit" and denied opportunities accordingly. I've listened to numerous founders and decision makers dismiss experienced female canddiates who would have been valuable additions to the company because they were 40 and automatically not hot - so not a fit here. So much for disruption. #pathetic
181
@Dana --
What can you expect when television, movies, the advertising industry and other industries where women -- and images of women-- fail to show women past 40 or 50 who are vibrant, beautiful, accomplished and sexy?
Things aren't going to get better when POTUS #45 is on record as saying that age 35 is the "sell-by" date for women.
What can you expect when television, movies, the advertising industry and other industries where women -- and images of women-- fail to show women past 40 or 50 who are vibrant, beautiful, accomplished and sexy?
Things aren't going to get better when POTUS #45 is on record as saying that age 35 is the "sell-by" date for women.
9
My daughter is a programmer in Cupertino. On several occasions she has asked my advice about what to do about unwanted advances, rude comments, quid pro quo offers. My first bit of advice was to report it to HR. She was retaliated against. At her new company she let everyone know she is a lesbian, complete with fake partner. It seems to be working. It isn't fair. As a father I really want to come to her rescue and punch these mouth breathers in the head.
244
As a female with Architecture and a graduate engineering degree since the early 1980's, I could sure tell you stories.
At my first job out of Engineering School, I used to close my office door and slam my phone down after I got off calls with sexiest white men calling me Honey, Sugar, Babe etc... I also got counseled for going out to lunch with the female secretaries, I was the only professional female. I was told we don't mix and lunch with the secretaries. I just went home for lunch, mainly to have a break.
Now that I am in my mid 50's I have started to reflect more on the subtle sexual harassment and discrimination that I just left fly by. I never would have survived if I didn't.
One thing I have noticed over the 30 plus course of my career is that it is not just white males that are the sexual harassers. Now the minority males all are empowered and feel that they are Gods gift to woman kind too. They all come after the white woman too.
At my first job out of Engineering School, I used to close my office door and slam my phone down after I got off calls with sexiest white men calling me Honey, Sugar, Babe etc... I also got counseled for going out to lunch with the female secretaries, I was the only professional female. I was told we don't mix and lunch with the secretaries. I just went home for lunch, mainly to have a break.
Now that I am in my mid 50's I have started to reflect more on the subtle sexual harassment and discrimination that I just left fly by. I never would have survived if I didn't.
One thing I have noticed over the 30 plus course of my career is that it is not just white males that are the sexual harassers. Now the minority males all are empowered and feel that they are Gods gift to woman kind too. They all come after the white woman too.
40
You mean it isn't just white men who harass women? I don't know if I believe it, but you've definitely given us all something to think about.
"Now the minority males all are empowered and feel that they are Gods gift to woman kind too. They all come after the white woman too. "
...and the black women, are they invisible to you?
And what does the amount of melanin in your skin got to do with it?
And how many "minority males" are actually hired?
...and the black women, are they invisible to you?
And what does the amount of melanin in your skin got to do with it?
And how many "minority males" are actually hired?
When I was a first year law student at the University of Michigan, a partner from a top litigation firm propositioned me for sex during a group interview. This firm was desperately trying to sell the image that it was the “cool” firm where attorneys could wear jeans to the office. To support that idea, the firm made the decision to do away with the traditional interview process and instead hold a group interview in a bar with drinks and appetizers. I took our career counselor’s advice and nursed a beer the whole night. Unfortunately, one of the gray haired partners from the firm didn’t have such good judgment, and drank in excess. During the interview, this drunk partner approached me, put arm around my lower waist and started to whisper in my ear. I froze. Even with all of our great career advice, I wasn’t sure how to handle this situation in a way that would allow both the partner and I to save face in a public place. I was 24 years old, and it was the first time that a man my fathers age had ever hit on me so publicly. Attorneys from his firm saw this all happen and did nothing. Luckily, one of my friends from school also attended this interview and had the courage to intervene and (politely) tell him off.
Neither one of us got an offer from that firm. In the end, that’s fine -- I’m now at a firm that respects me and other young attorneys. Even so, I take great pleasure in seeing the “cool” firm lose big cases.
Neither one of us got an offer from that firm. In the end, that’s fine -- I’m now at a firm that respects me and other young attorneys. Even so, I take great pleasure in seeing the “cool” firm lose big cases.
98
I am the mother of two lovely and very, very smart daughters. Both experienced significant sexual misconduct repeatedly in their 20's and early 30's. One was fired after rejecting an outright request for sex. The other resigned from a very good Wall Street job after six months. Both left the corporate world, one to start her own business and one to work within a woman led (and thoughtful) small firm. That was 35 years ago.
I was still being "propositioned" until well into my 50's. It changed the way I dressed, talked, laughed, or showed emotion in my professional life.
How many decades does it take for so many men to learn that this behavior is unwelcome, disgusting and repugnant? Having power does not make it any less offensive -- quite the opposite.
I was still being "propositioned" until well into my 50's. It changed the way I dressed, talked, laughed, or showed emotion in my professional life.
How many decades does it take for so many men to learn that this behavior is unwelcome, disgusting and repugnant? Having power does not make it any less offensive -- quite the opposite.
879
And in the last two days Donald Trump, apparently our president, has once again blasted the media and personal communications systems with overt, revolting sexuality based statements against a woman who has broken through the levels of male TV journalists because this is how he uses his power and position instead of solving immense national problems. This particular woman dared to criticize Trump's blaring lack of skills required for his job and he reacted by lying about her pestering him to spend time with her and her male co-anchor, called her stupid and insisted she appeared at his side with her femininity bloody and scarred. The "at least he apologized" rejoinder familiar in Silicon Valley is pathetic and yet stratospheres beyond what women all over the world are hearing from the leader of our country.
14
Any woman who wants to work in the U.S. who works is exposed to this. It is so sad. To know also that it will be the same for your daughter. To watch as your friends pardon this behavior in their husbands.. most of these men are married no - what about their wives who look the other way who know this goes on when they send their husbands out the door to work.... to their colleagues who don't say anything..to their managers who say nothing bc it will affect their performance reviews and then cite their daughters in the NYT
2
After 35 years in the investment business I saw little of what was described here but it is wrong nevertheless. What I also witnewas single women throwing themselves at married men in power and breaking up marriages. There are two sides to this story.
1
These Silicon Valley types are the supposed innovators, the change makers who think their ideas will make the world a better place. Your investment models and technologies may be cutting edge, but your treatment of women is stuck in the Stone Age.
24
Nothing about these people is cutting edge.
8
Actually the previous poster pretty much nailed it with a nice rhetorical flourish, and then you came along and said something 1) false, and 2) not clever. Way to take it down a notch!
I agree with William, testosterone has now become poison. Ok when we had to battle saber-toothed tigers, now causing our species problems.
10
1st rule of misogyny: Women are responsible for what men do.
2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
3rd rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
4th rule of misogyny: Women's opinions are violence against men thus male violence against women is justified.
5th rule of misogyny: Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
6th rule of misogyny: Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breast feeding babies deserve punishment.
7th rule of misogyny: Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
8th rule of misogyny: Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
9th rule of misogyny: Men always know the "real reasons" for everything women do and say.
--tehbewilderness
2nd rule of misogyny: Women saying no to men is a hate crime.
3rd rule of misogyny: Women speaking for themselves are exclusionary and selfish.
4th rule of misogyny: Women's opinions are violence against men thus male violence against women is justified.
5th rule of misogyny: Women and Feminism must be useful to men or they are worthless.
6th rule of misogyny: Women who go around being female AT men by menstruating and breast feeding babies deserve punishment.
7th rule of misogyny: Women should always be grateful to men for everything.
8th rule of misogyny: Men are whatever men say they are and women are whatever men say they are.
9th rule of misogyny: Men always know the "real reasons" for everything women do and say.
--tehbewilderness
3
Silicon Valley is about money, not so pure but still quite simple. Perhaps especially in the "valley" (as we around here call it), money is gotten by grabbing--grabbing in one form or another. It's hardly surprising that money grabbers also grab whatever else they want. Sexual harassment (what an anodyne term) is neither merely bad manners nor merely about sex. It's about power, and it's about capital (and those who control it). It's about market penetration and "owning" customers, employees and start-ups. It's about island-hopping -- controlling whole oceans by controlling multiple beachheads. And, sadly, it's about looking and feeling virile and manly, as a result.
How did Tantrum Trump put it?--"When you're a star, they let you do anything." That's pretty much what the American dream has become, has been reduced to -- at least in the valley.
How did Tantrum Trump put it?--"When you're a star, they let you do anything." That's pretty much what the American dream has become, has been reduced to -- at least in the valley.
45
Women are neither pets nor playthings. Men had better start growing up and learn adult self-control. They are no longer 15 yr olds confused and frightened of their sexual urges.
How do lechers rise to such positions of authority that they can intimidate, harass, and denigrate women? You'd think people with "heads on their shoulders" would have more dignity.
Shame on these "men" who suffer from arrested development. Why are they not in jail? Oh, yep--it's because they believe they did nothing wrong. Touch me and you are dead meat, all you fools who think I exist for your pleasure.
How do lechers rise to such positions of authority that they can intimidate, harass, and denigrate women? You'd think people with "heads on their shoulders" would have more dignity.
Shame on these "men" who suffer from arrested development. Why are they not in jail? Oh, yep--it's because they believe they did nothing wrong. Touch me and you are dead meat, all you fools who think I exist for your pleasure.
37
A 15-yr old who does this stuff should be punished, and severely. "Confused and frightened by sexual urges" -- give me a break! Boys are taught practically from day one not to hit girls in the stomach. And, in case you haven't noticed, they fight and beat up each other plenty, but they don't fight and beat up girls. This isn't about lack of (self-)control, It's about wanting power over others and believing we (boys and men) are entitled to it.
16
I throughly agree
4
"Lindsay Meyer, an entrepreneur in San Francisco, said Mr. Caldbeck put $25,000 of his own money into her fitness start-up in 2015. That gave Mr. Caldbeck reason to constantly text her; in those messages, reviewed by The Times, he asked if she was attracted to him and why she would rather be with her boyfriend than him. At times, he groped and kissed her, she said."
Wow the Times reviewed texts that contained come-ons by males - call out the National Guard. Then you end up with with a "she said".
Meyer, you tolerated it. Now you want to play to downtrodden non-white female role. Well at least you're reserving your place in the victim hierarchy. Hey Silicon Valley there's a shakedown coming.
Take a cue from a former misogynist POTUS - "you better put some ice on that". BTW, the predator in chief was defended by his wife after he committed perjury. The subject was a chief executive going after an unpaid interns. And she's the one who goes around pretending to smash glass ceilings.
Wow the Times reviewed texts that contained come-ons by males - call out the National Guard. Then you end up with with a "she said".
Meyer, you tolerated it. Now you want to play to downtrodden non-white female role. Well at least you're reserving your place in the victim hierarchy. Hey Silicon Valley there's a shakedown coming.
Take a cue from a former misogynist POTUS - "you better put some ice on that". BTW, the predator in chief was defended by his wife after he committed perjury. The subject was a chief executive going after an unpaid interns. And she's the one who goes around pretending to smash glass ceilings.
12
Your comment scares me.
3
Thank you for reminding all the outraged feminists that their beloved Bill Clinton was at the head of the class when it came to using power for sex.
As for Hillary's role, she actually set up a war room to go after women sexually assaulted by Bill.
Hillary proved it's not gender that causes people to victimize women and treat them like dirt. (She treated those women worse than many men would have.) Bill proved even the most liberal-minded, ideologically acceptable male can be an offender.
As for Hillary's role, she actually set up a war room to go after women sexually assaulted by Bill.
Hillary proved it's not gender that causes people to victimize women and treat them like dirt. (She treated those women worse than many men would have.) Bill proved even the most liberal-minded, ideologically acceptable male can be an offender.
8
You have no power.
1
Its not about sex, its about power. Any woman in a field in which men predominate has experienced this multiple times. In media production I have experienced this for over 30 years in many many forms. Its disgraceful, wasteful of our talents and energy, and a drag on the entire society.
671
I was sexually harassed by a 14 year old neighbor when I was 30. It was NOT about power. It was about sex.
9
Please. It's about sex, too. The power just makes them think they can get away with it.
13
Have to agree with you there, Dan. We guys, at least some of us, let the little head do the thinking for the big head too often. Seems to be wired in, to some degree. Takes decades to grow out of it, honestly, sadly. Mea culpa.
Put a bunch of men in a room, make them the majority, and this is what you will often get. It's always been this way, the only real measurable social "shifts" we have seen are the result of accountability, not romantic notions of moral and ethical progress. Want proof? Look no further than the man elected to lead our country.
And I worry about a certain feigned outrage found in articles like these. As if we were being presented with new information that every single woman on this planet hasn't known since childhood. Things we don't encounter on a daily basis.
These women should be speaking out, and I love that they are. But their speaking out should not be *the* news so much as a reason to make *real* news and go after these perpetrators with the same purposefulness in which they go after these women.
These allegations should be investigated, and for those where ample evidence exists, the men involved should don a scarlet letter, their friends and families (and wives and girlfriends) should be ashamed, their investors and coworkers should go elsewhere — and fast. Their transgressions should emblazoned on their curriculum vitae as a mark of disgrace, and no woman should ever be put in a position to find herself alone with them.
When will enough be enough? When will this disgusting legacy finally succumb to the disgrace it truly deserves?
Shame on these men. Let's make sure they know it.
And I worry about a certain feigned outrage found in articles like these. As if we were being presented with new information that every single woman on this planet hasn't known since childhood. Things we don't encounter on a daily basis.
These women should be speaking out, and I love that they are. But their speaking out should not be *the* news so much as a reason to make *real* news and go after these perpetrators with the same purposefulness in which they go after these women.
These allegations should be investigated, and for those where ample evidence exists, the men involved should don a scarlet letter, their friends and families (and wives and girlfriends) should be ashamed, their investors and coworkers should go elsewhere — and fast. Their transgressions should emblazoned on their curriculum vitae as a mark of disgrace, and no woman should ever be put in a position to find herself alone with them.
When will enough be enough? When will this disgusting legacy finally succumb to the disgrace it truly deserves?
Shame on these men. Let's make sure they know it.
29
Keep it up, ladies. It's clear the only path to change is public embarrassment and humiliation. Turnabout is fair play.
38
It's the new casting couch. Still in California mostly. You want the job, you had better put out. Which makes me wonder about Marissa Mayer. The fact is, the people of Silicon Valley tend to think they are smarter than everyone else in America. They aren't.
16
No matter how much money or power these men have, they are still a bunch of losers if this is how they behave.
35
18 years ago, a client invited me to lunch - I though to discuss our project. Instead, after we ate, he forcibly kissed me in the middle of the restaurant. When I told the (male) partner at my firm, he laughed. When I was younger, I was routinely propositioned by clients. I remember one who used to stare at my (well covered) chest while speaking to me. A partner at my last firm used to make lewd jokes and then dare me to call HR. My current boss routinely tells me to "be nice" and talks over me during presentations he asked me to make. At least now that I'm "of a certain age", the sexual advances have abated. I am not unique. Every woman has stories. Why should Silicon Valley be any different? These young women risk being branded as "difficult" by telling their story. Until men start holding each other accountable for their behavior, I worry we fight a losing battle. And given the election of the current occupant of the White House, I fear what little ground we've gained has eroded.
119
I read the article, and then decided I would read just what Mr. Curda said in his apology. I clicked on the link and read the story on BusinessInsider.com.
At the bottom of the story was a video available to watch. The title was:
NOW WATCH: The Scientifically Proven Way To Flirt Better
Surely this can't be true.
At the bottom of the story was a video available to watch. The title was:
NOW WATCH: The Scientifically Proven Way To Flirt Better
Surely this can't be true.
14
As a senior female CEO, VC, entrepreneur and board member, I naively thought I was immune to this type of behavior from male colleagues. I was flabbergasted, hurt and disappointed when a longtime VC mentor (married) who I also considered a friend took me out for what I assumed was a business dinner but then proceeded to take my hand and tell me he was "very attracted to me". The oversized egos these people have make them feel invulnerable and entitled, and this has got to stop. We all need to keep speaking out.
985
Grace: I am wondering how you handled this statement...if someone is attracted, should they keep it to themselves? I think this is a difficult situation..sometimes feelings happen. I happened after a long time of knowing him. IT may be different than the men who just routinely hit on women and expect to be rewarded. I am not sure, but this is a little bit of a grey area, what you described. Taking your hand and saying that could be awkward, but if handled well, could be fine and clarifying for the person. Married or not. Your description just seems a bit different from sexual harassment, though maybe it was exactly that. But it could really actually be a compliment in the sense that, after all that time, he just wondered, as he found it worth the risk to say something.
11
It's not a compliment to have a man come on to you when you're trying to get business done. It's a distraction; it's pressure; it's very very awkward.
6
I am honestly trying to understand. I acknowledge that sexism is rampant and is a serious problem in Silicon Valley and elsewhere. But does the author of this post envision a situation where a married man will no longer seek to take the hand of a female "mentee" and tell her that he is "very attracted" to her over dinner? Or, for that matter, that a married female mentor wouldn't do the same thing with a male mentee? But is this "sexism?" If so, is sexism defined to include any time a person makes an unwanted sexual advance to another person? I can imagine a situation where the conduct described here will "stop," as the author says it must, but only when the mutual desire of men and women to fulfill nature's purpose of procreation has stopped, too.
2
The fact that people assume men who are young or work in innovative companies, or are interested in doing good for the environment or have a daughter or whatever you think that makes you assume a man isn't sexist is a real problem.
187
This comment is not about workplace "stalking" itself but about when I was an older student in college. A young woman I knew slightly came to me and said she was being stalked by a male student and pointed him out to me. And there he was, waiting for her to go into an elevator and she wasn't going to go in. This was a scary situation and one I had never encountered before as my older generation had not done such predatory actions. The young woman said to me she was leaving this school and this city to escape from him. And she did. Some men just don't get it that their actions will actually frighten women away.
13
Does this article remind anyone of #45?
18
No. This article reminds everyone of #45.
15
I do business in Silicon Valley (and elsewhere). There are so many talented, brilliant women. Maybe if these male investors thought, "Hey, how much richer will I become if I invest in these women rather than proposition them," the problem would go away. Oh, right, it's always been a problem, in every industry, everywhere. It's never going away.
280
Could it be that there are other motivations in people besides money, and honest lust is one of them?
It WILL go away, once our society becomes matriarchal. It's just a question of when.
1
Silicon Valley and finance are closed shops. Rather than union rules, they use predatory behavior and harassment to keep their shops limited to "their kind" of men and a select few women. This limits the talent pool and creates an artificial scarcity that leads to wage inflation. Nice work if you can get it.
21
This is why undergraduate programs need distributive requirements. Being able to code and/or write a business plan *and* appreciate the experiences of others and understand the history of civil struggle are both important skill sets for American entrepreneurs.
18
Why are the women's ages mentioned but not the men's? Give me one good reason.
96
Because it is irrelevant.
5
And why weren't the women's?
4
As with many of the commenters, I don't really think this is a problem with the tech business. I really believe, and my experience has been that the people in tech are, if anything, more sensitive and modern-minded than those in most industries. So the fact that women in tech are speaking out about this really just indicates how universal the problem actually is.
9
I disagree. Many of the males in Tech (I am one) are backwards nerds who spent many a night perusing playboy while the jocks had the cheerleaders. Once you are established, and the nerds now have the upper hand (money) they think they can use it to lure (abuse) women. My Mother taught me better than that. Respect women in the workplace and never use your position or money as a tool to get sexual favors.
8
That's what happens when guys with undeveloped social skills acquire money and power.
765
Do guys with developed social skills behave like "Mad Men". Don't just stereotype this as bad social skills.
5
I assure you this isn't just a nerd problem. Read Susan Antilla's "Tales from the Boom Boom Room" she wrote in 2002 about women in Wall St firms in the 90s. Equally harrowing stories about men with supposedly everything going for them.
7
Man have a sex drive that is greater than that necessary for propagation of the species. They must control it, granted, but why did it evolve over human history?
1
Women should also speak out forcefully against other women who gladly wiggle their wares to advance professionally. I've known women who do this because they can, not because they had no other options. The comments here indicate that many women live in a fantasyland in which their gender exhibits uniformly unassailable morals and professional conduct, whereas most men, apparently, are drooling beasts.
15
Women who wear stilettos and short skirts, tight suits with low blouses still walk the halls of the corporate world, and shamefully get ahead on primarily those attributes. I've seen it happen often, and no one dare call out the HR department SVP, or the C-Suite executives that promoted them. Because nothing will happen, and the whistleblower just gets a reputation as a jealous whiner.
6
I agree. I am a woman in IT and found it much more difficult to work for other women. It took the form of hazing, one female executive told me that I had it easy because she had broken the glass ceiling and I needed to understand how difficult it was for her. She was jealous of me being younger and vilified my looks and said I was trying to use my body to get ahead.
So the problem is one of power in my view. For men, they use it to get sexual favors and for women they use it to control and keep other women from competing with them.
So the problem is one of power in my view. For men, they use it to get sexual favors and for women they use it to control and keep other women from competing with them.
4
So, let me get this straight: All women are held accountable for those few women who "wiggle their wares" -- but "not all men" are harassers, am I right?
4
This is nothing new to any female who is employed, let alone tech. Patriarchy has a firm grip on our culture and society as a whole. We just got the movie Wonder Woman in 2017. TWENTY SEVENTEEN. And even that cast has more men than women. We don't have a long way to go, we have a millennia.
15
Just in case any man reading this article thinks that these problems are limited to Silicon Valley, I want to tell you that they are not. This is what women experience every day, in every profession, and at all levels of hierarchy.
I know, it's not all men, and there are a lot of good guys who are going to read this comment, along with me. The Good Men of America need to stand up and push back whenever they see a male colleague mistreating a woman, or making sexual advances in the workplace. Let your colleagues know that You don't think their behavior is acceptable.
It's going to take the efforts of strong women and strong men working together to eradicate this disgusting Behavior. Count Me In.
I know, it's not all men, and there are a lot of good guys who are going to read this comment, along with me. The Good Men of America need to stand up and push back whenever they see a male colleague mistreating a woman, or making sexual advances in the workplace. Let your colleagues know that You don't think their behavior is acceptable.
It's going to take the efforts of strong women and strong men working together to eradicate this disgusting Behavior. Count Me In.
20
I am President of a financial services company and more importantly father of two accomplish daughters, a medical doctor and a corporate lawyer. Perhaps because I am the father of women, I have always been very sensitive to this subject. The issue is not male testosterone or anything of that sort it is simply the behavior of humans when they believe they have power over others. I have taught my daughters to always feel as equals without regard to gender, race or otherwise and to stand up and fight on the basis of your worth and smarts not your looks. And in the end it is the same advice I would have given my sons.
724
Congratulations on your accomplished daughters, sir. As you raised those daughters, you became spectacularly wealthy in government and private banking in Puerto Rico. A quick review indicates that your company controls perhaps half of all investment banking in PR. Might I suggest being more "sensitive" in your role in PR's collapse and the desperate situation that most of it's residents are now facing. "The behavior of humans when they have power over others." Indeed.
2
Great job. Changing this behavior requires men standing up to other men as well.
1
That's the crux of it - power. Power is a corruptor, an impairer of judgment (although it doesn't have to be with self-awareness and discipline). It has nothing to do with sex. Boys grow to men knowing what power and its entitlements feel like, even as they're unaware of this gift. Women do not. If they seek power (versus it being granted by birth), it comes from a conscious decision to acquire it. If they express power, it's often at odds with social norms. They're misunderstood, even disparaged... But first thing's first. Don't tolerate bad behavior - either in small, off-putting increments or full-blown abuse. Start by taking up space. Plant yourself, shoulders back, chest out (yes, chest out). Look at others straight in the eye, even lean-into a bit. It sends wonderfully effective message and it feels good.
1
If this happens in the most Liberal, Progressive area of our most Liberal, Progressive state, where are women treated fairly in this country?
13
But the so-called "men" in Silicon Valley come from all over.
Anyone who would do this is a pathetic excuse for a human, nevermind a man.
Anyone who would do this is a pathetic excuse for a human, nevermind a man.
3
The geographic area might be liberal, progressive, and all-around wonderful, but finance is an absolute cesspit of sexist, racist, and even feudalist attitudes. VCs live in both worlds. In terms of their behavior, they tend more toward the norms of their own industry than those of the people they finance. Women do best when they are furthest from the lizard people of finance, but of course that's unjust in its own way. That's only one of many reasons why reining in the arbitrageurs and rent-seekers, and relaxing their grip on the real economy, is so important.
4
This happens everywhere. Not just in Silicon Valley.
2
From what I can tell, we are in an era in which many, many men (and some women) believe it is ok for men to harass or degrade women. We can speak out until we are blue in the face: the men in charge won't change unless forced to do so, and there's no one to force them since they are in charge. Meanwhile, younger men learn the same bad behavior and are promoted faster and more frequently than women, continuing the cycle. It feels quite hopeless to me.
24
If you get caught, fellas, you can always run for president. It's the last place apparently where this behavior is entirely acceptable.
16
Let's support these women with our comments and not take away from them, especially with what they are doing to support women in EVERY industry! Each woman coming forward to tell her story is doing a service to EVERY woman in every job. This article is about Silicon Valley, it has to be about somewhere, and it shows that women are coming forward, so thank you so much you brave women, and may women in every industry take courage from what you have done. May those men who don't yet know, learn that it is they who will be
ashamed of their actions, and it is they who will have much to apologize for and make up for. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing and thank you to future women who stand up to or bring to the public the unfair and abusive treatment by men who have gotten away with it and will soon not be able to anymore!
ashamed of their actions, and it is they who will have much to apologize for and make up for. Thank you thank you thank you for sharing and thank you to future women who stand up to or bring to the public the unfair and abusive treatment by men who have gotten away with it and will soon not be able to anymore!
7
It is sad but true, but throughout recorded history men in positions of power have consistently and frequently sexually exploited women and generally taken advantage of others in ways to satisfy their other desires. It is a tendency that never will change, despite all the public outcry to teach the children. Fundamentally, most men think like how the President acts and speaks.
5
Like this is new?!? What rock has the NYTimes been living under? I'm no Spring Chicken but have been dealing with the issue of sexual harassment for more than 50 years. From bosses who demoted or fired or failed to promote me for not sleeping with them to donors who felt that a quick "touch/feel/kiss" was permissible for their six figure donation to the charity I ran, sexual harassment has not only NOT diminished over the years, it has amplified -- in large part -- thanks to Donald Trump and Fox News.
21
And we have Donald Trump as a role model for our youth.
People seem to say he can do what he wants as long as he supports something for me. How have we lost track of our way that we can put up with this.
People seem to say he can do what he wants as long as he supports something for me. How have we lost track of our way that we can put up with this.
3
Yes sunlight. Dare I hope that this sunlight has already cleared a path for at least one man?
Mr. Sacca, an investor and former Google executive, touched her face without her consent in a way that made her uncomfortable. ....... After being contacted by The Times, Mr. Sacca wrote in a blog post on Thursday: “I now understand I personally contributed to the problem. I am sorry.” In a statement to The Times, he added that he was “grateful to Susan and the other brave women sharing their stories. I’m confident the result of their courage will be long-overdue, lasting change.”
Mr. Sacca, an investor and former Google executive, touched her face without her consent in a way that made her uncomfortable. ....... After being contacted by The Times, Mr. Sacca wrote in a blog post on Thursday: “I now understand I personally contributed to the problem. I am sorry.” In a statement to The Times, he added that he was “grateful to Susan and the other brave women sharing their stories. I’m confident the result of their courage will be long-overdue, lasting change.”
2
I'm skeptical of true change in Mr. Sacca, who likely put this apology in a blog post to appease his wife and do pre-emptive damage control.
4
I have never met a woman in my life who has NOT been sexually harrassed. And that starts with my mother, who was sexually harrassed in her workplace in the late 1930s and early 1940s, and extends to myself, my sisters, and ALL my women friends. Most women are afraid to come forward with their stories because they are afraid they will lose their jobs. Even now, as a retired woman, I've experienced sexual harrassment in the form of "jokes" told in meetings of volunteers. I immediately call out the man, in front of everyone. Brava to these women for coming forward. It would also be nice if men addressed their colleagues in private about comments. Then, if it didn't change, the men should call out their male colleagues in public, the minute it happens. Why is the burden always on the women? If words are not addressed, then it can progress to sexual assault.
113
I have never been sexually harassed, even when I worked in high tech. But then, I've always been overweight. I think that men only go after women they consider good looking.
2
These women should be commended for their bravery of speaking up. They should be invested in because of, not despite their ability tell the truth.
There plenty of venture capitalists to choose from and as such women should never be subjugated to such behavior.
This type of behavior should never be tolerated, especially in such a "progressive" like "the valley".
There plenty of venture capitalists to choose from and as such women should never be subjugated to such behavior.
This type of behavior should never be tolerated, especially in such a "progressive" like "the valley".
13
As a CEO and investor, I have been the subject of much flirtation and touching by women who wanted my investment. One Stanford MBA, a very famous woman Internet CEO, spent time leaning up against me and making suggestive remarks. I feel deeply for any woman who believe she must provide favors for investment. However, we should recognize than many women offer them as well.
11
You should also name names.
4
"Spent time leaning on me". At what point did you say, "Stop"?
4
I highly doubt that the two are evenly matched. All for the simple fact that men outnumber women VASTLY in The Valley. Regardless, would you ever consider that this behavior comes as a necessary means to an end? All perpetuated by the long lasting toxic environment that men create, here in The Valley?
Women are barely represented as employees and founders. As a founder with the end of the runway in sight, playing into that toxicity is an unfortunate survival method. It's incredibly sad that it has to be one but that is indicative of how toxic things are out here.
Women are barely represented as employees and founders. As a founder with the end of the runway in sight, playing into that toxicity is an unfortunate survival method. It's incredibly sad that it has to be one but that is indicative of how toxic things are out here.
1
I'm tremendously impressed that these women were willing to name names and provide evidence, which I hope will cause a small dent in this type of culture. But nothing else here is new -- powerful men in every field behave this way toward subordinate women, even more so when the field is heavily male-biased. It's definitely true in my field, biology, and women in many fields have similar stories. A group of women writers recently published a series of short essays documenting their experiences, which are strikingly similar to those described here (http://lithub.com/roxane-gay-aimee-bender-and-more-on-assault-and-harass.... This is not unique to tech nor to Silicon Valley.
103
A decency pledge? Signed by investors? So does this mean that investors who don't sign are allowed to behave . . . indecently? Appropriate, respectful behavior should be the baseline in every workplace, indeed, in all interactions that involve human beings. The idea that a decency pledge is somehow a necessary precursor to ensure a bias-free, harassment-free work environment is just bizarre.
42
Young men and boys are not taught in most cases how to healthily and respectfully interact and treat girls and women. Oddly enough, it starts with mothers, not fathers. Women are tougher on women than are men. Women will more often than not blame the girl who gets pregnant out of wedlock than the boy. Hillary's harshest critics were women, not men. This has gone on a long time and no matter how enlightened we may think we are, we're not that evolved.
50
Sadly, what you say is true -- because we females have the view (often correct) that males cannot be trusted to always behave themselves in the face of temptation or even what they perceive as an opportunity. When it comes to male-female interactions, the responsibility lies with us. Like a labor union, we unite to obtain power, and we punish those who cross the picket line because that threatens our unity, our power. Until recent times women as a group relied on all females to require respectful behavior from men and require marriage before sex. Women who stepped outside these norms were tarts and home-wreckers; they let men have what they wanted, without having to work for it, without having to follow the rules.
3
...and this comment certainly is a validation of that theory. Very meta.
1
Sexual harassment a/k/a incredible arrogance and overly inflated egos in those who believe others are drawn to them for reasons other than what they offer startups. Seriously, these guys live in their own little world.
That industry is obviously in its nascency. Those guys need to grow up and come down to earth.
That industry is obviously in its nascency. Those guys need to grow up and come down to earth.
24
I agree... I have a feeling these men were the super smart but socially awkward boys in school who never quite matured in their relationships with women. I applaud these women who are speaking out.
4
When I worked in IT, I found most management types in the industry to be backstabbing, weird and with mother issues. They did not treat women as a gentleman should.
30
I applaud these women for their courage in revealing their experiences and thank the NYT for this article. No matter how wealthy, accomplished, smart and educated a woman is, going through sexual harassment is grueling and painful. It's all about a man trying to assert power over a woman, nothing more or less. It is despicable to treat another human being that way, and our culture needs to change so this is not acceptable. Your revelations will provide untold benefits to women everywhere (it sounds so trite to say it but it really is true)....the student intern, new associate, experienced office manager, bus driver, waitress, CFO, engineer....all are exposed and at risk of abuse in this culture and you've helped them all. Transparency and supportive camaraderie is essential, as is punishment for wrongdoers.
95
" It's all about a man trying to assert power over a woman, nothing more or less"
So true. That probably explains why there doesn't seem to be even of anything that might involve interest and consent. I was particularly struck by the e-mail proposition demanding sex and calling it a "deal".... It's not only unjust but it's so gross!
So true. That probably explains why there doesn't seem to be even of anything that might involve interest and consent. I was particularly struck by the e-mail proposition demanding sex and calling it a "deal".... It's not only unjust but it's so gross!
2
Even with apologies and promises to never do it again, I promise you these men will continue to abuse women whenever and wherever they think they can. The best thing that helps to curtail this behavior is sunlight.
These women are not only brave, but are helping other women to not feel alone and to hopefully tell their story.
These women are not only brave, but are helping other women to not feel alone and to hopefully tell their story.
971
The book, "Sex in the Forbidden Zone" by Dr. Peter Rutter should be required reading in any business (or religious or academic) setting where men have power over women. It was one of the most thoughtful I've read that lays out what respectful behavior looks like and why it needs to be followed.
2
I would think that jail time and massive, company-breaking fines are not just the best, but the only way curtail this behavior.
Without this, what is the penalty? Some bad PR? The really smart people of Silicon Valley have determined that bad PR won't hurt their bottom line. That is why this sort of harassment, unacceptable in every other industry, continues brazenly.
And the price of being found to have committed sexual harassment should include deportation of foreign-born harassers and loss of H1-B visas by the employer. That would send a very loud and crystal-clear message to an industry that prefers to not hire American workers.
Without this, what is the penalty? Some bad PR? The really smart people of Silicon Valley have determined that bad PR won't hurt their bottom line. That is why this sort of harassment, unacceptable in every other industry, continues brazenly.
And the price of being found to have committed sexual harassment should include deportation of foreign-born harassers and loss of H1-B visas by the employer. That would send a very loud and crystal-clear message to an industry that prefers to not hire American workers.
6
jail. fines. unemployment... doesn't appear that any of them have received any punishment actually
3
Not so very long ago, graduate schools across the country threw women out for getting married. When that stopped, they threw married women out for getting pregnant. It wasn't uncommon to graduate with a summa degree and be asked how many words a minute one could type.
I don't for a minute suggest that women should not speak out - indeed, having been through grad school - I am delighted that they are. But I do suggest that it's important to keep on speaking out regardless of what industry, profession, race ... you name it. If one goes quiet, one loses what one has gained.
I don't for a minute suggest that women should not speak out - indeed, having been through grad school - I am delighted that they are. But I do suggest that it's important to keep on speaking out regardless of what industry, profession, race ... you name it. If one goes quiet, one loses what one has gained.
108
The only job Sandra Day O'Connell could get after she graduated from Stanford law school was as a secretary. She graduated top of her class, right before William Rehnquist.
11
Of the responses by harassers, Marc Canter's is the most outrageous and laughable. Did it ever occur to him to just say no? His ends-justifies-the-means excuse for his own predatory behavior is a dog that won't hunt. From beginning to end, he is completely pathetic.
206
Finally! Finally this wretched behavior is getting some press. Twenty-five years ago I won a sexual harassment suit in Silicon Valley for being physically attacked at a senior management dinner by a peer. Fortunately there was a parking lot full of witnesses. But I spent the next horrible 9 months going to work everyday while being shunned by fellow employees. The settlement won me enough to put my son through college at Johns Hopkins. But it also ruined by career. I still can't talk about the court case or its results. And I never really was able get my career back on track. Maybe things will be different for my granddaughter. But at least now people are starting to speak out.
659
"I still can't talk about the court case or its results."
You just did.
You just did.
4
Did you read any identifying details? Name of person or company or particulars of her case? No, you didn't. She can say it happened. Put your hostility in a more intelligent reply, and readers might respect it. No dice this time.
11
@Kathy B: You sure do sound defensive.
2
Good for these women for standing up and speaking out. Unfortunately there is often a cost for doing so, which keeps many women quiet. However, when we stand up for ourselves, we are also standing up for future women. Maybe, just maybe, we can greatly reduce the harassment if it actually becomes socially unacceptable--especially by other men in positions of power. This happens to women in all fields, and we all need to be willing to speak out. My sister was just demoted from her position on a police force for calling out harassment. I've been harassed at various jobs because I'm a woman in the trades. These stories get old and it is long past time for change.
173
Your sister needs a lawyer.
10
I would like to say this surprises me. But none of it does. My very first job ever I was fired because I rebuffed the manager's advances. He said it was for cause. I knew otherwise. I was 18 and it was 1975.
I joined the Air Force and became an aircraft mechanic. All these stories and more would play out throughout my career.
No, what surprises me is that more people aren't aware of this and that there are actually people that deny it's an ongoing problem that women face every single day in any field that has been traditionally occupied by men. Tech, science, engineering, doctoral programs, you name the field and you will find women in those fields/careers being under paid, played upon and sexually harassed or simply over-looked because of their gender.
I joined the Air Force and became an aircraft mechanic. All these stories and more would play out throughout my career.
No, what surprises me is that more people aren't aware of this and that there are actually people that deny it's an ongoing problem that women face every single day in any field that has been traditionally occupied by men. Tech, science, engineering, doctoral programs, you name the field and you will find women in those fields/careers being under paid, played upon and sexually harassed or simply over-looked because of their gender.
386
It happens in ALL fields, not just those that were "traditionally occupied by men". I've never met a woman who has NOT been sexually harrassed.
16
In 1976, I literally fought off the senior partner in a small law firm where I worked. He thought it was funny and that I was "spunky". I thought he was an old creep. I came away feeling I had won that round. I certainly didn't feel "sexually harassed". I felt like an old fool had seriously misjudged whom he was dealing with.
11
"[Marc Cantor] said he disliked her ideas so he behaved the way he did to make her go away."
Sounds like something Trump would say. Pathetic.
Thank you to the women willing to speak out!!!! It takes courage and sacrifice, and your sisters thank you.
Sounds like something Trump would say. Pathetic.
Thank you to the women willing to speak out!!!! It takes courage and sacrifice, and your sisters thank you.
482
I totally agree!!! Thank you ALL for speaking out!!! &, this could affect how women customers perceive Uber... If an org's internal culture has been so rampant, what impact will that have on potential women customers?????
1
The problem is pervasive, and it is because of a percentage of men--not sure if I'd want to guess how many--who can only think of a woman in terms of engaging with her sexually (or finding her sexually unattractive, is the flip side). Such as our "president." Men who don't have this problem, you need to recognize that it exists and speak out, and train your sons to know that women are human beings.
1180
I never think of women as mere sex objects. But, then, I'm gay.
3
"who can only think of a woman in terms of engaging with her sexually"
But this is blatantly false. True, Trump does often think of women sexually and his behavior is not exactly admirable.
But the word "only" is totally false.
Our ambassador to the UN, appointed by Trump, is a woman. So is the person in charge of Medicare and Medicaid. So is our surgeon general who is a black woman.
Moreover, Trump's campaign manager Kellyanne is a woman and the first woman to win a presidential election.
So you are quite right that Trump's sexual behavior has not been good. But it is absurd in the face of all this evidence to think that Trump sees women ONLY as sexual objects. Being attracted to the body does not preclude respecting the mind.
But this is blatantly false. True, Trump does often think of women sexually and his behavior is not exactly admirable.
But the word "only" is totally false.
Our ambassador to the UN, appointed by Trump, is a woman. So is the person in charge of Medicare and Medicaid. So is our surgeon general who is a black woman.
Moreover, Trump's campaign manager Kellyanne is a woman and the first woman to win a presidential election.
So you are quite right that Trump's sexual behavior has not been good. But it is absurd in the face of all this evidence to think that Trump sees women ONLY as sexual objects. Being attracted to the body does not preclude respecting the mind.
2
I don't think Trump really respects anything, but it's true, he does have women working for him with real responsibilities that he seems to treat OK.
1
Hooray for these women who have come forward. They may have more power than they realize. No legitimate company wants a sexist pig in its midst--if nothing else, harrassment lawsuits don't help the bottom line--and so, to the degree that these scuzz wads have been outed and, hopefully, blackballed, everyone is better off.
31
I would like to think that nobody wants a "sexist pig" in their company, but I am cynical enough to think that their solution would be to hire more sexist pigs and fewer women.
5
Look at the example at the example set by the countries chief executive. Should we expect anything less?
40
Testosterone is the root of 90% of the problems with the world today.
It's a drug designed for 50,000 years ago. It's human form is a poison to the planet today.
It's a drug designed for 50,000 years ago. It's human form is a poison to the planet today.
92
Thank goodness yours is in remission, William. Godspeed.
2
William shows no sign of testosterone poisoning...
Testosterone may drive violence, but it also drives courageous action, productive risk-taking, and most of the exertions that led to human progress and civilization.
A human culture dedicated only to nurture and hand-holding would still be sitting around camp fires and spinning yarns.
Testosterone may drive violence, but it also drives courageous action, productive risk-taking, and most of the exertions that led to human progress and civilization.
A human culture dedicated only to nurture and hand-holding would still be sitting around camp fires and spinning yarns.
2
No, testosterone is not the problem. It has nothing to do with exploiting and demeaning subordinates. It's not an excuse for that behavior.
Also women too produce testosterone and men too produce estrogen... What we are talking about here is a socially constructed mode of exploitation using gender that is similar to exploitation based on the construction of "race" " or "social class" or caste etc.).
Also women too produce testosterone and men too produce estrogen... What we are talking about here is a socially constructed mode of exploitation using gender that is similar to exploitation based on the construction of "race" " or "social class" or caste etc.).
2
Dave McClure comes as a shock to me. If I believed him when he boasted 500 Startups' "equal" representation and finger wagging whenever a misogynist VC or CEO got his due, I'd think he was one of the good guys. Goes to show...
27
As a woman in engineering It sounds exactly the same. It has not changed much and it's really time that it does.
127
When I worked in Silicon Valley, I met many men who used their position of power to pick up on women. Many women on the other hand were attracted to these men because they were in powerful positions and had money. Perhaps part of the problem is a result of an imbalance of single men to single women as most techies are men.
15
Sounds like the Bill Clinton White House.
7
Please don't blame the victim.
4
@Onthecoast:
Just said it sounded like the Bill Clinton White House. Which it did.
Just said it sounded like the Bill Clinton White House. Which it did.
3
Seriously? Name an industry in which women are respected. We have to stop expecting that change happens without direct confrontation.
318
Yes, and isn't it good that industry by industry women are talking publicly about what is happening to them. Keep those complaints and articles coming till we have heard one by one from every industry!
Just because it is happening everywhere does not mean you need to diminish it happening to these women in Silicon Valley. They have dreams too.
We also need to show support for women every time they show the courage and speak the truth. Let's support these women with our comments and not take away from them, especially with what they are doing to support women in EVERY INDUSTRY!
Just because it is happening everywhere does not mean you need to diminish it happening to these women in Silicon Valley. They have dreams too.
We also need to show support for women every time they show the courage and speak the truth. Let's support these women with our comments and not take away from them, especially with what they are doing to support women in EVERY INDUSTRY!
5
I work in the telecom industry where women lead many successful companies. I think they get respect. Take the target off your back. (I agree the men discussed in this article are a problem.)
1
Medicine.
2
Thank you, brave sisters.
265
Twenty years ago I discovered, because the company's accountant was a woman and thought my treatment was unfair, that I was paid far below what the men at the same executive level were being paid (I was the only female).
On top of it, the men were also getting their healthcare paid for by the company.
I went into the head of the company's office the very next morning and presented my case to him, how this was unfair, that I was the first at my desk every morning and usually the last to leave, that I didn't even receive any benefits, that I loved my job, but deserved the same compensation that the men were getting.
The head of the company leaned back in his chair and said:
"You get benefits."
I said, "What benefits?"
He said, "Free parking."
Then he paused and said, "You know what your problem is?"
This didn't sound promising.
I said, "What is my problem?"
He said, "You need to get married."
Twenty years have passed, and I'm still angry.
I'm glad the women of Silicon Valley are speaking up. All women need to speak up.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant.
That's the only way things will change.
On top of it, the men were also getting their healthcare paid for by the company.
I went into the head of the company's office the very next morning and presented my case to him, how this was unfair, that I was the first at my desk every morning and usually the last to leave, that I didn't even receive any benefits, that I loved my job, but deserved the same compensation that the men were getting.
The head of the company leaned back in his chair and said:
"You get benefits."
I said, "What benefits?"
He said, "Free parking."
Then he paused and said, "You know what your problem is?"
This didn't sound promising.
I said, "What is my problem?"
He said, "You need to get married."
Twenty years have passed, and I'm still angry.
I'm glad the women of Silicon Valley are speaking up. All women need to speak up.
Sunlight is the best disinfectant.
That's the only way things will change.
1035
Well said, V.
Your old boss was low-life.
Women need to continue to speak up to male cockroaches.
Your old boss was low-life.
Women need to continue to speak up to male cockroaches.
12
Yes, but sunlight would include the name of that awful man and the company.
19
The power of this article is that the women name the men. Anonymous accusations don't solve the problem. It takes real courage to stand up.
172
After so many celebratory accounts of Silicon Valley companies and individuals it's refreshing to read about areas that clearly need improvement.
71
Good that a spotlight is being put on discrimination against women, as has been heavily reported in the media as of late. However consider that this attention is possible because it's largely driven by white women who more easily gain a sympathetic ear from white men. Two groups who, together, wield an enormous amount of political power. There is just as, if not more, discrimination against racial minorities (men and women). And they don't get a full spread in the New York Times or letters of apology from the offender. Glad that women have a champion. Minorities, keep your head down and carry on.
26
Clearly some of the women in this article aren't 'white women'
1
Three of the women interviewed here are Asian.
1
For the record, one of the women discussed in the article is African American; another is Asian American.
2
Why so much concern with Silicon Valley? Have you talked with a woman in advertising? Women working on Wall Street? I applaud these tech women for breaking down barriers in their field but their stories can be told by women in a wide variety of professions every day!
324
For sure! A woman at a presentation or a board meeting faces similar obstacles. And it needn't be a proposition to be harmful. A flippant dismissal of a woman's comment is a great way for an insecure male to think he's made a contribution.
71
Talk with women in k - 12 too.
3
There are very few women in tech. At AWS, women were 4% of the technical employees (engineers and programmers). They would let people bring their dogs to work but didn't hire women. Do I seem bitter? I even wrote an email to Jeff Bezos about it but he ignored me.
2
Can we see this broken down by gender and race? The hostile work environment for women in tech is on a spectrum. Often times this is overlooked. It'd be nice to see this through an intersectional lens.
Either way. Its always been a frat party. Women have always been vocal about this. Investors have always know and never really cared until now. Possibly because the scandals started to hinder their chances at getting 3x
Either way. Its always been a frat party. Women have always been vocal about this. Investors have always know and never really cared until now. Possibly because the scandals started to hinder their chances at getting 3x
14
WOMEN HAVE NOT ALWAYS BEEN VOCAL!! 30 years ago in financial services, women were NOT speaking up. That keeps the practice in place!!
6
What is with powerful men? Why can't they realize that with great power comes great responsibility? They could user their power and money to do such good in the world. But somehow they feel the need to possess everything they can, including women who need them for their counsel and funding. Sexual advances should be made on a basis of equal power. Anything else is just unethical behavior.
67
And you would think that the boys in the tech industry would be more than familiar with Spider Man!
1
It's high time we started naming and shaming these Neanderthals.
For goodness sake, it's 2017...get with the program, guys.
For goodness sake, it's 2017...get with the program, guys.
289
This is good. If people ACTUALLY care about stopping bad behavior, they must be upfront, clear, and consistent in denouncing it and refusing to deal with it.
70
And there are plenty of opportunities to do so.......especially lately.
3
ACTUALLY, if people actually care about stopping bad behavior, they should stop behaving badly. Why put the onus on the victim?
9
I did exactly that when in the military. I was reporting to a senior officer to discuss my work with him. When he made a remark about my legs, I firmly said, "Sir, I came here to work with you. When you can act like a gentleman, I may return. Good-bye." Saluted and went back to my office. About three hours later, he came to my office to apologize. I had my male Sgt sit in on our business discussion. Never had another incident again. And this was a Maj on the General Staff, and I was a 1LT managing the Commander's official social affairs.
14
I have only begun reading "Disrupted", a short text by a fellow "old guy" getting (then leaving) a job at a tech start-up, but I have read enough to see that the "anything goes" or "disrupt yourself" culture could produce this sort of vile behavior. There are things called ethics and the pop culture parents (myself probably included) who love, love, loved their little babies probably need to take responsibility some. This is sad and angering and why we have presidents who mistreat women. I'm embarrassed.
90
This behavior has been going on for centuries. It has been a very long and hard struggle to get the word out, but it's is getting out. Consider that the word "sexual harassment" did not enter our lexicon until 1974. You cannot solve a problem until it is identified.
5
I read 'Disrupted'. Absolutely disturbing how ego and power ran that place. More disturbing, it's not an anomaly.
2
Love is necessary. Giving lots of love to your sons is not what causes this behavior. The cause is not teaching them ethics and respect for women. (I've always given my 25-year-old son lots of love. But I taught him to behave well and to respect women; he treats the women in his life well, including me.)
We live in a culture in which money is power and power is money. For many in our culture, there is no religious, moral or spiritual dimension -- just the endless quest for more money and more power. The fact that many men use their money and their power to demand sexual favors is neither surprising nor new. However, the extent to which this phenomena has gone is, I think, new. In the past there were plenty of folks with no spiritual purpose, but I think that percent has increased in our current times.
When the Democrats try to pass laws about all this, the Republicans are going to blame them for slowing down the wheels of the economy. Money and power can not only demand sex, they can purchase more power.
When the Democrats try to pass laws about all this, the Republicans are going to blame them for slowing down the wheels of the economy. Money and power can not only demand sex, they can purchase more power.
105
Not so sure this is a unique problem in Silicon Valley- it basically happens to most women in any male -dominated profession- politics, academia, engineering
I could go on- same stories, different fields
I could go on- same stories, different fields
571
I'm glad these women came forward (it takes serious guts to do so). These revelations may not come as a surprise to women, but they certainly surprised and angered me. A little side dish of irony is that many of these men (investors in technology) incriminated themselves in easily preserved texts and emails.
88
It's about diminishing women by sexualizing them; demonstrating alpha power; reminding women what their ultimate worth is "really" about (male attention or inattention); seeking affirmation of their status by demanding compliments/compliance; having the luxury of being able to deny/diminish women's authentic voices, and giving non-apology "apologies" only when they feel like it.
Gee, I could be talking about our current President.
Gee, I could be talking about our current President.
255
So could I. So could any woman in most fields, especially male-dominated ones.
HOWEVER, Silicon Valley has always prided itself on its progressive ideas--it's a meritocracy!, they like to claim. What's being reported directly contradicts that.
HOWEVER, Silicon Valley has always prided itself on its progressive ideas--it's a meritocracy!, they like to claim. What's being reported directly contradicts that.
59
Boy-kings in hoodies (today's equivalent of horn-rimmed glasses), with little intellect in the humanities, history or human relations, built Silicon Valley. Nothing in today's article surprises.