I think I've just been womansplained.
132
Wow! Thanks for this! It explains the creepy feeling and the emotions I had to Mr. Comey's testimony yesterday. I watched the entire thing with my arms wrapped around myself and feeling anger at what he had experienced and a sense of deep empathy with him that had not occurred in previous appearances. I'm an older American and was an adult before there were remedies for this sleaze. The White House has to be the most toxic work environment ever since Mr. Trump took it hostage. Thank you, Nicole!!
208
Brava! Brava! Brava! Signora Nicole Serratore.
85
This is an excellent article on how an abuser works, and a great counter to defenses like "he's new on the job, he's learning". For Paul Ryan to advance and perpetuate this is an insult, and just enables Trump. Trump knows exactly what he is doing in trying to get what he wants, although unlike the private sector, can't buy off, threaten, or bully anyone he wants.
Someone should have informed him about the independence thing with the FBI, and that there are people in the government who take their jobs seriously.
Someone should have informed him about the independence thing with the FBI, and that there are people in the government who take their jobs seriously.
188
This behavior by the president was publicly noted in Maine one month after the inauguration and nothing has occurred since then to contradict it, only confirm it. See http://bangordailynews.com/2017/02/20/opinion/contributors/its-time-for-...
51
Conjecture !
10
Another similarity to the experience many women have is the attitude of the inquisitors after the fact: Why didn't you speak up for yourself? Why didn't you tell him to back off? Mr. Comey was under oath, but I don't think that means he could not say: You weren't there, Senator. You might have read his unspoken message and his body language differently than I did, but we'll never know, will we? And even if you had said, Sorry, Mr. President, I can't continue this conversation without a witness in the room--we'll never know how that might have played out, will we?
For myself, the most poignant part was Mr Comey almost apologizing for 'not being strong enough'. I believe he said it twice. Having worked with and for abusive and predatory people, the constant questioning yourself and what did I do to bring on this degrading situation ramps up the anxiety. There is no plan that works in avoiding the bully. One must either confront the bully, and take the chance of being fired or leave on your own. I hope you see yourself as stronger now because you are stronger, Mr Comey. Pax, jb
123
Everyone needs to understand that Trump is a self admitted sexual predator he knows and understands the rules of engagement better than the vast majority of America.
Cardinal rule one make sure their are no witnesses other than the victim and should they talk attack their veracity quickly and loudly.
These actions look familiar to you?
Cardinal rule one make sure their are no witnesses other than the victim and should they talk attack their veracity quickly and loudly.
These actions look familiar to you?
178
What an excellent article and very well written. Trump is a large predator trying to feed off one of his own to keep his self imagined power and stature.
Comey has the power (honesty), while Trump flails in his lies.
Comey has the power (honesty), while Trump flails in his lies.
72
It's just DT's smarmy deal making behavior. Classic con man behavior.
This was brilliant.
88
Speaking of (white, male) abuse of power: As a confident, educated, retired white woman in her 60s, I have experienced mild annoyance due to men cutting in lines at airports and at stores a number of times. They always act entitled. I'm always happy when someone in a position of authority stops this behavior so that I don't have to speak up (which I have no problem doing). These are very benign abuses of power compared with other types of harassment in so many women's daily lives. I often wonder how these same men treat their loved ones, business subordinates, etc.
37
Thank you for this article. As a woman I have had my share of this kind of intimidation from men. Sad to say, when I was much younger I was subjected to bullying by other women who had more power than I. Power coupled with a lack of empathy is corrupting.
50
Abuse, including work-place harassment, can happen to anyone, at anytime, anywhere. Abusers and predators choose victims across racial, socio-economic and, yes, gender lines.
Men who are oblivious deniers of workplace harassment and domestic violence perpetuate its existence. Feigned innocence does not absolve guilt.
Men who are oblivious deniers of workplace harassment and domestic violence perpetuate its existence. Feigned innocence does not absolve guilt.
45
"His incredulity, mixed with President Trump’s circling attempts to get his way, were poignant."
Shouldn't it be "was poignant," since the subject is singular?
Shouldn't it be "was poignant," since the subject is singular?
17
If my boss called me into his office, told me to close the door and began a statement with "I hope..." or "I think ...." I would consider that an official order to be carried out. If that order asked me to do something that was not my job, it would be an obstruction of what I needed to do to do my job. I find Mr. Comey very credible.
97
Now we all know why Comey said he felt slight nauseated at the thought of being responsible for putting Trump in office.
87
Look at what Trump is doing in the picture accompanying this article. He's pulling Comey in, saying something to him he doesn't want to share with anyone else. Comey doesn't look comfortable. Even in this picture I can envision Trump whispering softly to Comey about something sinister or illegal. Even the body language is wrong for two people having a discussion among equals.
My guess is that Trump feels most comfortable when he has a lever he can press with someone, something to use to force them into doing whatever he wants done. In Comey he met someone who wasn't willing to bend. Comey had to be fired. And Trump had to concoct some crazy reason for firing him. Women experience this more often than not. A male coworker can turn on a dime and make passes at us or say something inappropriate and if we complain we're told we're too sensitive. Oftentimes we're fired for being too sensitive especially if we complained to the HR department. Unlike a company's HR department which will protect the company first and fire the employee, the GOP needs to stop protecting Trump and start protecting us. Trump is not worth protecting. He has no loyalty to anyone.
My guess is that Trump feels most comfortable when he has a lever he can press with someone, something to use to force them into doing whatever he wants done. In Comey he met someone who wasn't willing to bend. Comey had to be fired. And Trump had to concoct some crazy reason for firing him. Women experience this more often than not. A male coworker can turn on a dime and make passes at us or say something inappropriate and if we complain we're told we're too sensitive. Oftentimes we're fired for being too sensitive especially if we complained to the HR department. Unlike a company's HR department which will protect the company first and fire the employee, the GOP needs to stop protecting Trump and start protecting us. Trump is not worth protecting. He has no loyalty to anyone.
113
The situation and psychological response described are, of course, characteristic of any circumstances in which power is actually or potentially abused. Another example would be when a defendant is manipulated by the judge who largely controls his or her fate, while testifying regarding his or her criminalized speech, a phenomenon that characterizes dictatorships but which is somewhat less frequent in the United States, except in certain high-profile witch-hunt trials like the leading criminal "satire" case documented at:
http://raphaelgolbtrial.wordpress.com/
http://raphaelgolbtrial.wordpress.com/
12
Wow! It hadn't occurred to me that this was what he was experiencing. It makes perfect sense. Every day I learn something new to help me better understand the dynamics of power and privilege.
I wish that those who would decry "Political Correctness" understood that it's a matter of understanding the other person's situation and respecting them.
We live in a world whose history is full of subjugation and control of those who were weaker. We must be cognizant of this history when interaction with others.
I wish that those who would decry "Political Correctness" understood that it's a matter of understanding the other person's situation and respecting them.
We live in a world whose history is full of subjugation and control of those who were weaker. We must be cognizant of this history when interaction with others.
89
I think Comey's notes set a good example for anyone dealing with inappropriate behavior from a boss. He deliberately committed to memory Trump's exact words, scrupulously documented them directly after each encounter, and made others aware of his interactions and documentation as soon as it happened. As a white man in a position of power, Comey is bound to be able to speak up for himself in ways that a woman might not be able to, but a big part of his power comes from his documentation.
90
It wouldn’t be surprising if some of Comey’s subordinates felt about him the way he felt about Trump. It’s the nature of every power hierarchy—something Comey must know a thing or two about. Perhaps that’s why he was so sensitive about it all: he’s used to being the dominant one, the authority figure everyone defers to, and if he doesn’t feel in control, then a situation feels out of control to him.
11
Ed,
no.
no.
1
When Mr. Comey said he believed he was being invited to dine with several people but it turned out to be "just the two of us," I had a flashback. I was young and flattered to be invited to a New Year's party. The man was handsome and Ivy League. His friend drove. When we got there, the house was dark and empty. I turned, stunned, to my date, who laughed. Moments later, his friend left. My date refused to drive me home—the house was in a remote Virginia suburb. I was trapped. And violated, with force. Decades later, I'm still angry. That the scenario Comey mentioned can entrap an otherwise powerful man, too, is eye-opening. The bait and switch of a cunning and determined manipulator, who, sadly, is president. I empathize with Comey, and I believe him.
143
If it sounds like a creep, talks like a creep and looks like a creep it must be Donald Trump.
116
Love love this comment!
17
After hearing Comey was 'stunned' by the Predator in Chief:
"Amen," say all the women in the world.
"A man?" now say all the men in the world.
"Amen," say all the women in the world.
"A man?" now say all the men in the world.
46
A MUST read!
The problem is from the halls of Congress to the Army bases all over this world
No sex education ,no ethical standards for television, kids think sex is very day event , you can't turn on evening shows without watching people getting undress .............certainly not like tv in the fifties and sixties . The main problem is men are in charge and women are afraid they will lose their paycheck . Even women Senators are afraid to report.
Just a few hours after Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) went public with accounts of sexual harassment from her fellow lawmakers, male reporters question her credibility.
Politico’s senior congressional reporter, John Bresnahan, posted “I challenge this story. called it “moronic.”
New York Times’ Nick Confessore and Politico’s Alex Burns, have gone after Gillibrand for telling the truth, but not the whole truth.
“Shouldn’t Gillbrand name these Senate guys who fat-shamed her? Doesn’t she kind of have a responsibility to name them?” Confessore tweeted.
Current military leadership(particularly Army) maintains a control over sexual assault programs by assigning enlisted (E-7's) to positions (SACR) of authority over programs where many officers can inject and control the entire process. These E-7 SACR are also have authority over many victim advocates and SACR civilians GS-9-13. Military commanders (99%male)
, the rapist’s commander, not a legally trained prosecutor, has the power to decide if the case goes to trial. Men/women protect each other
26
The whole country is going to need a shower after this administration.
94
Just when I thought I've read some bizarre things, Serratore is really off the rails.
Comey, yes, the 6'8" Comey, a former Atty General, Counsel and Sr. VP of Lockheed Martin, Director of FBI overseeing 35,000 employees--is reduced to a poor little scared intimidated girl.
This is what the Left is famous for: creating victims.
Now Comey can hang out with Kathy Griffin and Hillary where they can wallow in their self-pity and victimhood together. They can brush each other's hair and pass around the hankie box.
When Rev Al Sharpton gets tapped to pay the 5 million he owes the IRS, no doubt he can join the mix, he'll be a victim too.
Comey, yes, the 6'8" Comey, a former Atty General, Counsel and Sr. VP of Lockheed Martin, Director of FBI overseeing 35,000 employees--is reduced to a poor little scared intimidated girl.
This is what the Left is famous for: creating victims.
Now Comey can hang out with Kathy Griffin and Hillary where they can wallow in their self-pity and victimhood together. They can brush each other's hair and pass around the hankie box.
When Rev Al Sharpton gets tapped to pay the 5 million he owes the IRS, no doubt he can join the mix, he'll be a victim too.
8
Actually, he was not intimidated and he did not allow himself to become a victim. He consciously took scrupulous notes and immediately shared his concerns with his peers. He refused to be manipulated and turned the tables on Trump. The end result is that everyone now knows exactly what happened and Trump is again outed as a lying, manipulative demagogue.
86
Wow, no sensitivity or understanding of the issue in this response.
42
MC ###
mc ... go hammer your head against the wall.
mc ... go hammer your head against the wall.
" ....................... ; we had that thing you know."
That statement, by Mr. Trump, sounds so "mafia".
That statement, by Mr. Trump, sounds so "mafia".
39
Lock him up.
47
Why didn't Comey speak up earlier? Because at first, you can't believe what just happened. Someone with whom you have had a respectful, professional relationship has suddenly treated you like a $2 hooker. A stupid hooker who doesn't recognize crude seduction. Why would he do that?
You keep mulling it over. Did you misinterpret what he said? Did it really play out the way you remember? Was there a subtle qualifier that would make what he did look okay to others?
What if you tell, and no one believes you? Angels in America is fiction, but the scene where Roy Cohn challenges his doctor to tell him he acquired AIDS because of homosexual sex is pertinent here:
"Say it. Say, 'Roy Cohn, you are a homosexual.' And I will proceed systematically to destroy your reputation. And your practice. And your career in the state of New York, Henry. Which you know I can do."
Roy Cohn was Donald J. Trump's mentor. Trump has a history, not just of winning battles, but of burning down the opponent's home and sowing his fields with salt. Comey didn't just think, "I could be fired." He thought, "I could be finished, professionally. My reputation will be dragged through the mud by an implacable, pathological liar."
And if you are fired, aren't the odds good that he will replace you with someone who is either willing to do his dirty work--damaging an organization you feel loyal to--or an innocent, who will be hurt?
So Comey did what we all do: He stayed and created a paper trail.
Thank god.
You keep mulling it over. Did you misinterpret what he said? Did it really play out the way you remember? Was there a subtle qualifier that would make what he did look okay to others?
What if you tell, and no one believes you? Angels in America is fiction, but the scene where Roy Cohn challenges his doctor to tell him he acquired AIDS because of homosexual sex is pertinent here:
"Say it. Say, 'Roy Cohn, you are a homosexual.' And I will proceed systematically to destroy your reputation. And your practice. And your career in the state of New York, Henry. Which you know I can do."
Roy Cohn was Donald J. Trump's mentor. Trump has a history, not just of winning battles, but of burning down the opponent's home and sowing his fields with salt. Comey didn't just think, "I could be fired." He thought, "I could be finished, professionally. My reputation will be dragged through the mud by an implacable, pathological liar."
And if you are fired, aren't the odds good that he will replace you with someone who is either willing to do his dirty work--damaging an organization you feel loyal to--or an innocent, who will be hurt?
So Comey did what we all do: He stayed and created a paper trail.
Thank god.
112
Comey is 56 years old, a man, politic and experienced. If you want to find a male victim to relate to, you could do a lot better than to choose someone so corrupt as to tolerate the intolerable because it benefited him.
He enjoyed it, the illusion that he had the president eating out of his hand.
He stood up to Clinton, proclaiming her moral failings,but never said a word, nothing, to trump. Victim? He is more likely a misogynist in an alter boy's clothing.
Ladies, don't be naive.
He enjoyed it, the illusion that he had the president eating out of his hand.
He stood up to Clinton, proclaiming her moral failings,but never said a word, nothing, to trump. Victim? He is more likely a misogynist in an alter boy's clothing.
Ladies, don't be naive.
15
That's why it puzzles us why Hillary stayed with Bill, despite his adventures with women outside his marriage. Sure it was consensual, they were all adults, but it also sends a message that when you are married to someone powerful, it is politically expedient to stay married to the guy. Many women like Hillary find themselves in that position where they simply smile and wave at the cameras. At least Hillary's aide Huma had the courage to cut the cord with her deviant husband, good for her.
9
Plays into the right wing media meme that Comey is "girly."
(Just pointing it out. I liked the column. No hate.)
(Just pointing it out. I liked the column. No hate.)
9
Melania, file for a divorce, please! in all of our names.
What Trump has done to Comey made me realize that men are probably harassed at work more often than we know because it is so humiliating to reveal. Men can be harassed sexually too, but it's likely more often by a predatory boss who wants a victim underling to do unsavory, unethical or illegal favors in return for a good review, raise, promotion, or referral.
55
We all saw Mr Bigly act his smarmiest with his fellow Saudi princes. They all suppress women as naturally as they drink water. And they are all most at home in an intensively hierarchically structured society that represses women and anyone who might venture to complain. Hopefully Comey's detailed notes will take the place of a rape kit in other circumstance.
30
I'm a woman, but....
this is like a Harlequin romance correlation.
this is like a Harlequin romance correlation.
5
What drivel. Conflating this matter to sexual harassment is pushing the limit.
5
Stop being so sensitive. Trump tries to dominate everyone, all the time. Comey had his wits about him.
10
.... Right down to Sessions's "What'm I gonna do" shrugged non-response when Comey DID report it!
28
I got that impression as well. It certainly doesn't help that Trump is a bona fide sexual predator with a history of making unwanted advances on women. Seems he has just as little restraint when it comes to ethical propriety. Poor Comey, those few hours spent in his majesty's lecherous presence must have felt like one big sweaty eternity.
29
Men/women must protect each other from predators like Trump
The problem is everywhere Congress to the Army bases all over this world
. The main problem is men are in charge and women are afraid they will lose their paycheck . Even women Senators are afraid to report.
Just a few hours after Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) went public with accounts of sexual harassment from her fellow lawmakers, male reporters question her credibility.
Politico’s senior congressional reporter, John Bresnahan, posted “I challenge this story. called it “moronic.”
New York Times’ Nick Confessore and Politico’s Alex Burns, have gone after Gillibrand for telling the truth, but not the whole truth.
“Shouldn’t Gillbrand name these Senate guys who fat-shamed her? Doesn’t she kind of have a responsibility to name them?” Confessore tweeted.
Current military leadership(particularly Army) maintains a control over sexual assault programs by assigning enlisted (E-7's) to positions (SACR) of authority over programs where many officers can inject and control the entire process. These E-7 SACR are also have authority over many victim advocates and SACR civilians GS-9-13. Military commanders (99%male)
, the rapist’s commander, not a legally trained prosecutor, has the power to decide if the case goes to trial. Men/women protect each other
The problem is everywhere Congress to the Army bases all over this world
. The main problem is men are in charge and women are afraid they will lose their paycheck . Even women Senators are afraid to report.
Just a few hours after Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) went public with accounts of sexual harassment from her fellow lawmakers, male reporters question her credibility.
Politico’s senior congressional reporter, John Bresnahan, posted “I challenge this story. called it “moronic.”
New York Times’ Nick Confessore and Politico’s Alex Burns, have gone after Gillibrand for telling the truth, but not the whole truth.
“Shouldn’t Gillbrand name these Senate guys who fat-shamed her? Doesn’t she kind of have a responsibility to name them?” Confessore tweeted.
Current military leadership(particularly Army) maintains a control over sexual assault programs by assigning enlisted (E-7's) to positions (SACR) of authority over programs where many officers can inject and control the entire process. These E-7 SACR are also have authority over many victim advocates and SACR civilians GS-9-13. Military commanders (99%male)
, the rapist’s commander, not a legally trained prosecutor, has the power to decide if the case goes to trial. Men/women protect each other
6
I'm sure Roger Ailes and Bill O'Reilly had similar one-on-one meetings with subordinates, all of which happened to be female.
You like your job? Let's be friends.
You like your job? Let's be friends.
Get that fraud's tax returns, then, it will be lights out for the grifters in the white house. Indict, prosecute, incarcerate.
18
Trump is a lying sleaze. This article sheds no new news. What difference does it make anyway? Trump seems to be getting away with it. Once the Dems find themselves and manage some attempts to take charge, perhaps we'll have an offense that can go up against the Creep in Chief.
14
I listened, heard, and sensed sexual predator. One of the ugliest excruciating tense seconds of shock. Thought immediately of his proven and unproven history as someone hoping never to succumb to that level of control.
13
WOW. I agree that sexual harassment shouldn't be tolerated and person charged. YET, there has not been a charge of guilty to Pres Trump therefore he has done nothing wrong.
For any woman who has dated a wealthy, powerful man it is a daily occurance that women trying to get his attention. In some circles they are called golddiggers and others opportunist. And it was obvious that the LEAKED private conversation where it has Trump saying he could do whatever he wanted to a woman....well it may be while she is throwing herself at him???
And yes, I'm am speaking from personal experience.......
For any woman who has dated a wealthy, powerful man it is a daily occurance that women trying to get his attention. In some circles they are called golddiggers and others opportunist. And it was obvious that the LEAKED private conversation where it has Trump saying he could do whatever he wanted to a woman....well it may be while she is throwing herself at him???
And yes, I'm am speaking from personal experience.......
7
In my day this was known as the "if you loved me you would" strategy. It took a whole women's movement to teach us to say, "this is wrong and inappropriate" directly to the predator and on the spot. No woman will find Comey's incomplete and perhaps demur response inexplicable
Dear NICOLE SERRATORE, thank you for a very astute observation. As a survivor of abuse by a paedophile married to my mother I can verify your observations of what life is like with intimidation and hints, words not spoken outright, and gut feelings not observable by others. The lies are the cover-ups. People like Donald Trump are very dangerous. Unfortunately Nigel Farage paved the way for this monster to do the bidding of a nation never blamed for anything.
Hopefully you have brave journalists not afraid of the truth able to expose the decade old con, eventually.
Hopefully you have brave journalists not afraid of the truth able to expose the decade old con, eventually.
33
Add to this Trump later calling Comey a nutjob. Here the victim must be crazy to reject the harasser's advances and/or the harasser thinks it's crazy that he wouldn't have been immediately persuasive.
46
An exceptionally astute comment.
16
Hooray for Jungle Jim:
From what I have read and heard about Jim Comey, he is sharp and alert; ergo, I believe that he already had Trump's number and recognized his behaviour as a predator. I congratulate him on being extraordinarily prepared to take on the challenge of knowing that "anything is possible" in the Trump Jungle.
I know that if I am invited to a Trump safari, I would be on full alert of the strong possibility of being challenged, and not the least, attacked.
Good going Jungle Jim!!
From what I have read and heard about Jim Comey, he is sharp and alert; ergo, I believe that he already had Trump's number and recognized his behaviour as a predator. I congratulate him on being extraordinarily prepared to take on the challenge of knowing that "anything is possible" in the Trump Jungle.
I know that if I am invited to a Trump safari, I would be on full alert of the strong possibility of being challenged, and not the least, attacked.
Good going Jungle Jim!!
11
Well maybe witness for yourself the hearing instead of hearsay . Jim Coney showed he is a weak, submissive, spineless, lawless and had abundant sore grapes and unethical. He LEAKED official records. That is a CRIME!
1
Finally, someone got it right, first what kind of male boss invite's another man the size of Comey to a private dining event? Secondly, what's with The kiss of death (Italian: Il bacio della morte) or an invasion of personal space or tactic of intimidation? Thirdly, the pledge of loyalty is another pressure tactic? Lastly, men can be victim's of sexual aggression -- remember Comey being forced in close quarter's alone with President Trump ---- he reacted like a normal Man --- frozen for a time not knowing how to handle Sexual aggression or unwanted advances. It is not uncommon for big guys like Comey or young men/women to be "Weirded out" by a grizzly old boss making unwanted advances. I represented victims in a few sexual harassment cases --- the scenario or assault pattern is the same. On the other hand, I understand why Naive liberals, Trump supporters, and Conservatives don't like this point of view --- however, victims of Rape, Incest, and Domestic abuse (know what I'm talking about)! Remember, Penn State, The Catholic Church, and The White House ----- institutions with a history of providing a setting for sexual predators. Pimping or Praying on venerable Men, Women and Children is not new ---- happens everyday. If we put ourselves in Mr. Comey's position for a moment ---- it is clear that he is a very Brave Man. In contrast ----- Remember; Bill Cosby, Donald Trump, and Bill Clinton were associates before 2016! Predator's of a feather flock together!
16
This resonates with both my wife and with me. Trump is a predator and a bully.
23
Wow! Brilliant article, and so revealing. The psycho-sexual dynamics of power on full display at the Senate hearing through the testimony of James Comey. I don't believe that Comey is a "pushover" in any way, but given the dynamics of hierarchical power, he must have been intimidated by DT, after all, he is the "boss," and this bossman must have blown the Director's mind during those intimate moments by his sheer brazenness. But we all could see the bully and swaggering macho of his strange persona on full display during the campaign, and heard the tapes of his offensive predatory boasting. Why didn't any of this make a difference to the people who voted for him? I know how most sensitive women (and men) are deeply offended by a Commander in Chief who behaves like DT, but how do his supporters justify any of this in their minds, do they really believe this is all fake news? Have they no shame at all? That is even more disturbing to me than the article's intent.
26
eerily familiar...how powerful to have it so clearly named...again.
20
A great mother would raise a good man. Where are all those great mothers? Why are the predators out there to begin with?
6
Don't blame Trump's mother for failing to train him not to be a narcissist and a bully. She may very well have tried, but she was probably bullied by Trump's father.
10
Nicole, thank you. Clear insight, clear words that really resonate. You've hit this in the meat of it.
18
Basically, you are saying Comey is as weak as a woman, and I find that offensive.
Just say he is weak, a beauracrat, and not a strong leader - then, call it a day.
Just say he is weak, a beauracrat, and not a strong leader - then, call it a day.
3
I would say that Trump attempted "mounting behaviour" on Comey, and Comey kept shrugging him off.
How someone treats you does not define who you are.
How someone treats you does not define who you are.
23
WOMEN From Trump's past came forward to allege that he had assaulted them sexually decades ago. Frankly I was surprised that their complaints were ignored. Had they been against Catholic priests or even Bill Cosby, the statutes of limitations would have been waived. There was reportedly a woman who came forth who claimed that Trump had raped her when she was 13 years old. The complaint was withdrawn for reasons which we can only imagine. By his own words, Trump's perception of women is that he is entitled to take from them whatever he wants with the rationale that he is irresistible. That's magical thinking; it's infantile, grandiose, extremely selfish and narcissistic. That's our President! Sexual assault is a crime that occurs when there is a power differential between the parties. So Comey's claim of being professionally pressured (i.e., assaulted) by Trump is true to form. Trump has an overweaning sense of entitlement and grandiosity. He can take whatever he wants, whenever he wants it from whomever he chooses. Including violating the law by pressuring the head of the FBI to drop criminal investigations of Mike Flynn, who may have engaged in serious violations of Homeland Security. A clearer picture of abuse of power would be hard to describe. Trump's overall intent is to bully people into submission to take what he wants, just like the psychopath he is. Trump shows neither empathy nor remorse for violations of any rules, regulations or laws. DUMP TRUMP!
24
This scenario had all to do with power.
Pay attention to the interchange between Maine Senator Angus King and former FBI Director Comey:
Maine Senator Angus King to Mr. Comey: But when you get a — when a President of the United States in the Oval Office says something like “I hope” or “I suggest” or — or “would you,” do you take that as a directive?
COMEY: Yes. Yes, it rings in my ear as kind of, “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?”
KING: I was just going to quote that. In 1170, December 29, Henry II said, “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?” and then, the next day, he was killed — Thomas Becket. That’s exactly the same situation. You’re — we’re thinking along the same lines."
(small correction: Archbishop Thomas Beckett, the former good friend of King Henry II, was actually murdered on December 29, 1170. Many historians have concluded that Henry asked the rhetorical question “will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?" or something along those lines. Having overheard these words, four knights were prompted to brutally murder Archbishop Beckett in Canterbury Cathedral. Henry was distraught that his rash words had caused the death of a man who he had once considered to be a good friend, and many rulers throughout Europe, including Pope Alexander III, shunned the English king in the aftermath of Beckett’s murder.)
On the other hand, King Donald was actually gleeful that he himself had got rid of that "nut case" and bragged so to the Russians.
Pay attention to the interchange between Maine Senator Angus King and former FBI Director Comey:
Maine Senator Angus King to Mr. Comey: But when you get a — when a President of the United States in the Oval Office says something like “I hope” or “I suggest” or — or “would you,” do you take that as a directive?
COMEY: Yes. Yes, it rings in my ear as kind of, “Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?”
KING: I was just going to quote that. In 1170, December 29, Henry II said, “Who will rid me of this meddlesome priest?” and then, the next day, he was killed — Thomas Becket. That’s exactly the same situation. You’re — we’re thinking along the same lines."
(small correction: Archbishop Thomas Beckett, the former good friend of King Henry II, was actually murdered on December 29, 1170. Many historians have concluded that Henry asked the rhetorical question “will no one rid me of this turbulent priest?" or something along those lines. Having overheard these words, four knights were prompted to brutally murder Archbishop Beckett in Canterbury Cathedral. Henry was distraught that his rash words had caused the death of a man who he had once considered to be a good friend, and many rulers throughout Europe, including Pope Alexander III, shunned the English king in the aftermath of Beckett’s murder.)
On the other hand, King Donald was actually gleeful that he himself had got rid of that "nut case" and bragged so to the Russians.
26
Brilliant artical. We were thinkinh the same thing while watching.
11
"Someday, and that day may never come, I'll call upon you to do a service for me. But until that day, accept this justice as a gift on my daughter's wedding day."
-Vito Corleone
-Vito Corleone
11
Makes me wonder about Sean Spicer. How many have written, while scratching their heads, about Sean's descent into the unthinkable reputation-ruin of the Trump world. Perhaps Sean is Trump's Laurie Luhn.
9
You can bet your patootie Natasha Stoynoff believes him. She's been there and done that. Invitation to his home ostensibly for a professional purpose (in her case, an interview for People Magazine)? Check. Luring her into a private room without witnesses? Check. Assuming consent when she had given none? Check. He smugly said to her afterwards "You know, don't you, that you and I are going to have an affair?" He didn't ask her if she WANTED to have an affair, but told her it was a done deal. Sounds a lot like "We had that thing, you know." And of course, the attempt to follow up the next day -- he knew she was going for a therapeutic massage before her flight home, so he went and waited for her at the massage parlor. Fortunately he had to leave before she got there, but when the staff told her he'd been waiting she left without her massage. Yes, Trump has lots of practice at abusive manipulation, but trying it on an FBI director might have been a bridge too far. He's now kicked a hornet's nest fully of highly trained, professional and skillful hornets.
30
Senator Ryan spoke about Trump yesterday like a kindly, understanding social worker who was defending his patient's bad behavior. Not admitting anything was wrong.
13
Trump reminds me of the Godfather.
So much for open government. How about cloak-and-twitter?
Like the Godfather, Trump took Comey's response -- Flynn is a nice guy -- to indicate that Comey understood what Trump was really asking and was on-board. Thus, they had a "thing," i.e., a tacit agreement of compliance with the ask.
So much for open government. How about cloak-and-twitter?
Like the Godfather, Trump took Comey's response -- Flynn is a nice guy -- to indicate that Comey understood what Trump was really asking and was on-board. Thus, they had a "thing," i.e., a tacit agreement of compliance with the ask.
11
Based on testimony Trump certainly engaged in typical power and control tactics for questionable reasons -from Trump's blatant use of intimidation like tweeting about tapes down to name calling that Comey was a "nut job" to the Russians and much more. Trump goes on to insinuate a dubious claim that Comey joined him and violated professional boundaries with Trump's remark -"remember we have this thing" to the FBI Director which is made to sound incestuous. This certainly hits below the crawl.
19
YES!!! All I could think of listening to Comey's testimony is my old bosses at a major oil company in the UK when I was in my 30"s. The sudden "oh, its just us for dinner", or whispers in the ear in very public places, or "you remember that thing we had" - all so familiar grooming behaviors of a predator circling prey. And the not wanting to cross the line into confrontation or aggressive responses, because these guys controlled my working life! To see this man so clearly in action with a senior law enforcement official as his prey was a shocker - and speaks to the level of disease brought into the US government by one very sick, very poisonous DJT.
21
So great to see my thoughts on your tongue. It's very difficult to put that icky feeling into words, but you've succeeded.
I was going to write in capital letters BULLY FOR YOU but subsequently got caught up in the the word BULLY.
If I used it alternately as a noun, it would be a word to describe Trump's every day behavior, a person who is smarmy and intimidating, a harasser.
Twisting the use of the word though, is of like the way that the word HOPE was twisted.
So, SPOT ON! (Yeah, that sounds better...).
I was going to write in capital letters BULLY FOR YOU but subsequently got caught up in the the word BULLY.
If I used it alternately as a noun, it would be a word to describe Trump's every day behavior, a person who is smarmy and intimidating, a harasser.
Twisting the use of the word though, is of like the way that the word HOPE was twisted.
So, SPOT ON! (Yeah, that sounds better...).
15
An excellent observation: Comey was repeatedly grilled on "why didn't you ....." which is the routine police grilling every rape victim faces when reporting the crime against her. Not a single senator asked him what he meant by "the nature of the person I was dealing with." He said this several times; so many times to conclude the senators knew exactly what he meant and were choosing to ignore the gorilla in the room--that the nature of the President of the United States is sufficiently well known to be so devious and underhanded as to warrant officially covering one's self after each encounter.
1
I'm long retired now, but over the course of my working life sexual harassment was the norm. This article is spot on. The power dynamic between the harasser and the prey is the same whether sex is the goal or, as in Comey's case with Trump, blind loyalty is the goal. What I don't understand is how harasser's know just what to do? It's as though there's a secret play book they all share. Thank you for this article, and thank you for believing me.
64
Nicole, why did Comey not say anything to Trump at their meeting? If he felt so uncomfortable why didn't he walk out of the dinner? Comeys remarks were of his impressions not of fact.
1
and isnt the reaction of the GOP just like the men who turn their eyes and close their ears to what a woman says? Same crew that tried to discredit the women that said , "Yes he did that to me!" when Trump was caught on tape.. Same types that attack those that insist Cosby is also innocent...
12
Listening to the hearing yesterday reminded me of watching Anita Hill testify during Clarence Thomas's SCOTUS confirmation hearings in 1991. It had exactly the same vibe: a person's abuse of power to get something to which he isn't entitled. In Hill's case it was sex, in Comey's case obstruction of justice, but in both cases the dynamic was identical, and they seem to have responded in much the same way.
12
"By the way, how are your wife and kids?"
4
Thanks for sharing that twitter thread -- so insightful! The post that Trump's character flaws/disorders lead to both types of abusive behaviors rings particularly true. That a malignant narcissist, utterly lacking in empathy and with the power of the presidency, could try to intimidate the leader of the FBI (who also happens to be 6'8" tall)) comes as no surprise to anyone who's dealt with such sexual predators.
The connection came to my mind during that line of questioning from senators, both Republicans and Democrats, as to why Comey didn't respond more forcefully to stop Trump's inappropriate behavior. It was astounding to hear, from Sen. Feinstein no less, the question of how a big and strong man like Comey wouldn't stand up to the President when cornered alone by him in the Oval Office. My respect and empathy grew as I heard Comey describe how he just felt too stunned to react in real time. Anyone who has been harassed by a boss knows that feeling all too well.
The detractors on Twitter are apparently fortunate to never have had such personal encounters. Lucky them.
The connection came to my mind during that line of questioning from senators, both Republicans and Democrats, as to why Comey didn't respond more forcefully to stop Trump's inappropriate behavior. It was astounding to hear, from Sen. Feinstein no less, the question of how a big and strong man like Comey wouldn't stand up to the President when cornered alone by him in the Oval Office. My respect and empathy grew as I heard Comey describe how he just felt too stunned to react in real time. Anyone who has been harassed by a boss knows that feeling all too well.
The detractors on Twitter are apparently fortunate to never have had such personal encounters. Lucky them.
16
Brilliant, incisive!
10
Well said. Thank you. Abuse of power starts by setting up a victimized person to blame themselves, to bear all of the responsibility for being undone. What I do find fascinating is how people, men in particular do accept and BELIEVE Mr. Comey. That is good. Most women are not percieved as having sufficient credibility and therefore are less able to push back against blame game that foolish unreflective people heap on. Two reasons to consider, to begin with anyway. One: women may not be strong (confident) enough when responding to questions regarding why they weren't strong enough in the first place. And two, the paternalistic attitudes of those who judge women as less credible on the basis of their gender (bias and perhaps simply taking their worth for granted). And maybe a third: Mr. Comey took care to make sure that there was a record. He was uncomfortable, perhaps even afraid. but he did what he could to deal and document and did not hide in shame. Maybe there are other key differences: shame as well as blame, deep physical pain, insufficient support system, the terror that is the hallmark of sexual abuse and assault. Having thought about it now, I do not believe the situations are the same, due to physically meanacing aspect of sexual harassment, but women can take heart and lessons from how Mr. Comey navigated his ordeal, including the quality of the relationships, the support he had that have helped.
12
Poignant.
6
Nicole, there are many of us who think of trump that way, the predator.
You speak so well here for so many of us.
To those still in denial, you probably won't understand the abject similarities to a sexual predator in the way trump treated former FBI Director, James Comey.
I do believe James Comey was "strong enough" as were the many women who were sexually assaulted by trump.
To stun a victim into compliance, it only works in that moment, survival comes first.
It's time for truth; thank-you Nicole for trying to help the deniers see the predator.
You speak so well here for so many of us.
To those still in denial, you probably won't understand the abject similarities to a sexual predator in the way trump treated former FBI Director, James Comey.
I do believe James Comey was "strong enough" as were the many women who were sexually assaulted by trump.
To stun a victim into compliance, it only works in that moment, survival comes first.
It's time for truth; thank-you Nicole for trying to help the deniers see the predator.
16
Yes, yes, yes! Having worked in two male-dominated industries starting as an idealistic 23-year-old, these actions and reactions are all too familiar. The worst part about it all is the wondering why I am being punished, having to manuever my career around the actions of the predatory boss, only wanting to do my job and wasting hours/days/weeks/months trying to figure out how to attain my goals and do my job and have the opportunity to compete for the job I wanted next! My disappointment that Trump was elected is slightly tied to his policies with which I disagree, but in my gut, it is a huge and distressing awakening to the failure of my cherished notion that one day someone like Trump will have his shallow veneer stripped away and will be exposed as the crass selfish predatory opportunist that he is and then people all over will be horrified and shun him. Nope. They voted for him, made excuses for him, and continue to make excuses for him, all for the almight dollar. And it cuts me to my core to see this in my fellow man (and woman!).
16
So many of us thinking the same thing. He saw something coming, just didn't know exactly what it was. Hard to come up with just the "perfect" response. He has taught a huge lesson to employees of every ilk, document! It has a lot of value in legal situations.
13
Gas lighting plain and simple
7
This article is so important because it explains how people react to predatory and abusive behavior. It has happened to many people, myself included, and in my case it was also about power and not about sex. The same techniques are used. It's amazing that James Comey, the former head of the FBI, a strong and powerful man himself, is now a poster child for this experience. I believe he is a very good man. One of the things he said in the hearing, and I'm just paraphrasing, was about how early on in the relationship he had a duty to Trump to discuss the Russia investigation and that he, Comey, did not want to come off as a "Hoover", he did not want any appearance of a possible threat that he might abuse his power. (Hoover did abuse power for decades.) Yes, Comey is a good man and this experience is shining the light on something dark that needs to be acknowledged and discussed.
18
I was thinking of women who have been raped, as Comey recounted how many people at the FBI he told contemporaneously about his meetings.
When push comes to shove, don't the doubters always say, "Well, why didn't you tell anyone about it?"
When push comes to shove, don't the doubters always say, "Well, why didn't you tell anyone about it?"
16
Trump is, indeed, a predator, as he preys on others, either innocent of his ill-intent to hurt them, or intimidated by his petulant and abusive behavior...into submission. This abusive bull (a coward in disguise) must be brought to justice, and the sooner the better. Unless we choose to remain complicit in our silence.
13
Missing from this piece is the incredibly important instructive lesson in Comey's response to this harassment: document, document, document. "Skepticism, doubts, and accusations..." are undermined when there is contemporaneous documentation. In instances of harassment or potential harassment, all women should know that creating a record of your experiences, and sharing that record with a trusted colleague or friend, can make a really big difference down the line.
16
This is one of the best pieces written about Trump and how his behaviors affect others. Equating it with the experience of those who have been harassed is perfect. Trump always makes me feel queasy, whether watching or listening to him. Everything he does is a display of power and conquest.
While I am sorry he was fired, hooray for Comey. His foresight may help us regain our democracy.
While I am sorry he was fired, hooray for Comey. His foresight may help us regain our democracy.
15
As someone who has worked with many survivors and perpetrators of sexual violence, I was thinking many of the exact same thoughts as I listened to Mr. Comey's testimony. Indeed, the "Art of the Deal" for Mr. Trump is the art of coercion and the art of intimidation. Fortunately, he is not smart or savvy enough to be particularly good at either.
13
Incredibly insightful. Thank you so much.
All I have to say, is "No more 'God Bless America'".
From now on, it's "God help America."
AG
Canada
All I have to say, is "No more 'God Bless America'".
From now on, it's "God help America."
AG
Canada
17
Comey's statement and testimony about his interactions with Trump left me, a woman who has experienced sexual harassment, with the same impression. As senators questioned Comey on his responses to Trump's inappropriate and awkward advances and requests, I understood his feelings of incredulity and doubt that led him to freeze, withdraw and document the events.
Abuse of power, attempted coercion, disrespecting personal boundaries, lying, intimidation and, ultimately, aggression. It's astonishing - but not surprising - to see Trump behave with the FBI Director the way he does with the women he encounters.
Abuse of power, attempted coercion, disrespecting personal boundaries, lying, intimidation and, ultimately, aggression. It's astonishing - but not surprising - to see Trump behave with the FBI Director the way he does with the women he encounters.
24
You said it sister !
And yet HE persisted!
And yet HE persisted!
10
And here Paul Ryan thought Trump was new to this...
20
Superbly expressed. This is all about abuse of power and the reactions to that power imbalance. Trump acts despicably towards both men and women. But this piece illustrates the bizarre parallels between sexual harassment and Trump's treatment of "big strong" Comey. I hope it helps men understand a little better.
21
A clear portrait of the abuse of power in all situations.
12
What a guy. You wouldn't want to leave your teenage daughter or the head of the FBI alone in a room with him. He's not the donald, he's the don.
19
the don is even too respectful
he's the Con
he's the Con
5
Working for Trump is like working at Fox News.
15
And, remember Trump circling Hillary during the debate. Full-on predator mode.
20
Do you remember this article from October of last year? See similarities? http://people.com/politics/donald-trump-attacked-people-writer/
10
Thank you, Nicole.
7
Great work by Nicole Serrato. Just one note: Comey is not the only man who's seen this, either. That's why at least some men believe what women say, too.
14
Might I suggest a more accurate rendering: "I can definitively say the president is not a liar," White House Deputy Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee lied.
11
Trumps behavior with Comey is exactly what he has done and will continue to do to the people of this great country and the rest of the world. Worse yet, the Republican Party have become his enablers. We need an intervention ASAP if we are to survive.
11
If Comey was truly a pillar of morality, he would have declined the solo dinner with president Trump.
Fear is a reasonable explanation for sexually assault, but not abnormal FBI director behavior.
I'm supposed to believe Comey was scared of an obese 70 year old with record low approval ratings, so much so, that he completely lost his composure and froze up? Not buying it. If that's the case, he certainly is not qualified to serve.
Furthermore, it's widely known that Donald is a predator on many levels. Comey should have been better prepared for the president's tactics.
Fear is a reasonable explanation for sexually assault, but not abnormal FBI director behavior.
I'm supposed to believe Comey was scared of an obese 70 year old with record low approval ratings, so much so, that he completely lost his composure and froze up? Not buying it. If that's the case, he certainly is not qualified to serve.
Furthermore, it's widely known that Donald is a predator on many levels. Comey should have been better prepared for the president's tactics.
5
Your response clearly shows the need for more education on abuse of power, sexual or otherwise. Perhaps you are among the rarest of rare individuals on the planet who have not had this kind of experience. This is a teachable moment for you.
9
He didn't realize it was going to be just him at dinner with Trump. He was trying to be polite.
I'll bet you call your boss out every time he/she acts like a jerk instead of just saying as little as possible and getting out of the room.
I'll bet you call your boss out every time he/she acts like a jerk instead of just saying as little as possible and getting out of the room.
11
Blaming the victim..
8
I agree with Ms. Serratore's analysis and want to say that I found the whole process of Comey's testimony strangely comforting. When I was confronted with questions about why I did not speak out, I was not male, physically imposing, nor in a powerful national position. If even he felt the paralysis--maybe I can forgive myself.
12
Great piece. Thanks for writing it.
7
Nicole:
I think you are on to a very real thing. I am blessed enough not to have had this kind of harassment in my life -- and still, I caught those overtones. And there is one more similarity you could emphasize a little more: all the critics who say, as Senators from both parties did yesterday, "Why didn't you tell him this was wrong? Why didn't you report this?" Anyone who's been there (and anyone with empathy) will know that of course you can't do either of those things -- it would only make a bad situation even worse -- and that asking those questions is just another attempt to deny the direness of your situation. Thank you for this piece!
I think you are on to a very real thing. I am blessed enough not to have had this kind of harassment in my life -- and still, I caught those overtones. And there is one more similarity you could emphasize a little more: all the critics who say, as Senators from both parties did yesterday, "Why didn't you tell him this was wrong? Why didn't you report this?" Anyone who's been there (and anyone with empathy) will know that of course you can't do either of those things -- it would only make a bad situation even worse -- and that asking those questions is just another attempt to deny the direness of your situation. Thank you for this piece!
20
Comey's serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the harassment I cannot change,
Courage to report the harassment when I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Now that Comey has come forward, let's hope Republicans have a spine, a conscience, and we the people have an effective prayer:
God, grant Republicans the serenity to accept that the president cannot change,
Courage to oust the president when they can,
And wisdom to know the importance of their actions.
God, grant me the serenity to accept the harassment I cannot change,
Courage to report the harassment when I can,
And wisdom to know the difference.
Now that Comey has come forward, let's hope Republicans have a spine, a conscience, and we the people have an effective prayer:
God, grant Republicans the serenity to accept that the president cannot change,
Courage to oust the president when they can,
And wisdom to know the importance of their actions.
8
predator in chief......need I say more
8
Mr. Trump is fascinated by what people say about him. READ THIS SIR!
But it will not break his thick narcissism. If he did acquire real insight into himself he would be in danger of a mental breakdown.
Reality is something he has in his head with little touch with the outside world when it does not prop-up the world that is in his head. Reality TV is not reality. Money is not intelligence. But it is his domain and it is power. And such power can temporarily shape reality.
But this is too dangerous for our world now and our children's world. Somehow this man must leave the Presidency. It is no longer entertainment. -Rudy
But it will not break his thick narcissism. If he did acquire real insight into himself he would be in danger of a mental breakdown.
Reality is something he has in his head with little touch with the outside world when it does not prop-up the world that is in his head. Reality TV is not reality. Money is not intelligence. But it is his domain and it is power. And such power can temporarily shape reality.
But this is too dangerous for our world now and our children's world. Somehow this man must leave the Presidency. It is no longer entertainment. -Rudy
9
You could configure any situation to include harassment. No one has ever harrassed me, male or female. When you are vulnerable any situation could be a possible situation for harassment, bu a strong human being, male or female doesn't allow harassment just as you would put a layer of clothing on should you need to prevent being cold.
Thw Russua thing was created by Obama who wanted Hillary in the White House. It's not helping Trump and his agenda and it's natural he would discuss the status of the investigation with the FBI Director. No it's not harassment.
Thw Russua thing was created by Obama who wanted Hillary in the White House. It's not helping Trump and his agenda and it's natural he would discuss the status of the investigation with the FBI Director. No it's not harassment.
1
You might not have been harassed , however it sound like you've been seduced....
4
RIght -- you're above it all, as any "strong" person would be.
Thanks for showing us what the Republican defense will be.
Thanks for showing us what the Republican defense will be.
11
Obviously you have never found yourself in the position Comey, this writer, I or thousands of other people have. I hope you never are.
6
This really makes me wonder if Mitt Romney got the same sort of "attention" from The Grabber. You may recall that while looking for some of the few appointments he has made, Mitt Romney's name was floated, and Romney then had a private dinner with the Abuser in Chief.
Maybe Mitt could now come forward, as happens so often in cases of abuses of power, albeit usually in cases like the 11 women who testified that The Groper had sexually assaulted or harassed them after one gave a candid interview to the same effect.
Maybe Mitt could now come forward, as happens so often in cases of abuses of power, albeit usually in cases like the 11 women who testified that The Groper had sexually assaulted or harassed them after one gave a candid interview to the same effect.
12
Good point -- I bet a lot of powerful people, some currently in congress, got the treatment. Unfortunately, I bet a lot of them succumbed and we're all suffering for it now.
6
"Coercive seduction" -- what a horribly appropriate way to describe what Trump has done to women, the Justice Department, the Republican Party, and those who erroneously voted for him.
19
Trump is an unprincipled predator.As bad as it was, Comey should be thankful he wasn't an attractive woman being stalked and harassed by the president.
I'm a guy and had the same impression as Ms. Serratore.
17
Absolutely right! This is exactly what women go through when a boss behaves in a predatory way and she neither has the experience or the warning that it might happen. Stunned - then what do I say now? It's predatory and it's what happens to boys being approached by a pedophile priest or coach, a soldier or sailor approached by a superior officer, a new Fox journalist approached by Roger Ailes. When Senator Feinstein asked Comey "why didn't you say it was inappropriate?" She forgot what it takes to stand up to a predator when you didn't expect it at all. Just think about it - Dan Coats and Mike Rogers hasn't stood up to Trump if he did the same to them - they have kept their mouths shut. This is Trump - a mafia boss - a sexual predator - in any other place, Comey would have an EEO claim against Trump.
19
Mafia boss, that's a good one.
1
Ms. Serratore has nailed it--we believe Comey because every twist and turn, every nuance is only too familiar to us. We too have hoped and prayed some equivalent of the Attorney General would stay in the room. We too have been prevented by concerns about our jobs from responding to our own predator in the forceful words that ring in our ears only afterwards.
Comey has outed our own private individual nightmares. Now that they're out there, let's keep them in the light.
Comey has outed our own private individual nightmares. Now that they're out there, let's keep them in the light.
44
Serratore captures the essence of Trump in a way that others have not. In the February 14 vignette, for example, we have Comey publicly forced into a private encounter, already illicit because it broke the chain of command, followed by a 'walk of shame' past the crowd of onlookers: "I then got up and left out the door by the grandfather clock, making my way through the large group of people waiting there, including Mr. Priebus and the Vice President."
Trump likes to publicly 'violate' his colleagues and competitors: think of the sheepish, mortified Mitt Romney eating what Trump ordered at Jean Georges, his cowed rictus caught forever. The psychology of 50 years ago, now half forgotten, told us how to read the upside-down of Trump's world: spun from the 'narcissist' who hates himself and acts to destroy those around him along with the all-consuming self-disgust at its center.
Trump likes to publicly 'violate' his colleagues and competitors: think of the sheepish, mortified Mitt Romney eating what Trump ordered at Jean Georges, his cowed rictus caught forever. The psychology of 50 years ago, now half forgotten, told us how to read the upside-down of Trump's world: spun from the 'narcissist' who hates himself and acts to destroy those around him along with the all-consuming self-disgust at its center.
13
As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I, too, have recognized that Mr. Trump has characteristics similar to the man who harmed me: Narcissism, prevarication, bullying, pretend caring, anger, retaliation and violence, among others. It is no wonder so many of us have such a gut-wrenching response to him.
63
And to people who don't respond that way? or deny that such a response happens?
One wonders what harm they have suffered.
One wonders what harm they have suffered.
3
The word predatory says it all...doesn't matter gender or race...there are people out there that feel they are above morality and ethics and because they have money and perhaps lots of power and can do what ever they like to belittle and attack the real workers- bully's don't always win so lets hope justice is served and the American people are relieved of les 'incompetent- even their own party says he doesn't know what he is doing...then for goodness sake take control and do what is right for your country instead of only thinking of partisan ways.
13
I have a work colleague who intimated to me a while back that she was raped by her on-again, off-again boyfriend. At least she broke up with him permanently after the assault event. Interesting detail is that they met at their evangelical church, where he's an accomplished musician and singer.
I tried to tell her that she really needed to report this incident, since it's so obvious that she's not the first, nor will she be the last, to fall for this professional predator's ruse. Her reaction was, sadly, quite typical from what I read in all the comments here: She blames herself for being put in a compromising situation, and even many months later still feels more shame than anger, which might compel her to act. For every assault victim who comes forward to face the double-jeopardy of public accusations and ridicule to bring an assailant to justice, there's ten others who remain silent.
Time to change that dynamic and give these victims the support they deserve.
I tried to tell her that she really needed to report this incident, since it's so obvious that she's not the first, nor will she be the last, to fall for this professional predator's ruse. Her reaction was, sadly, quite typical from what I read in all the comments here: She blames herself for being put in a compromising situation, and even many months later still feels more shame than anger, which might compel her to act. For every assault victim who comes forward to face the double-jeopardy of public accusations and ridicule to bring an assailant to justice, there's ten others who remain silent.
Time to change that dynamic and give these victims the support they deserve.
16
Makes you wonder about the silence of so many republican legislators. Are they in denial? Have they been self-shamed into silence?
3
Excellent OpEd. I've been calling Trump the "Predator in Chief" for some time now.
8
I agree with your views. I always thought that Comey reacts more as a 15 year old girl than an experienced professional. On those texts to his wife I can picture him putting his hand to his mouth saying OMG
Its disturbing to say the least that you are reminded of a fifteen year old girl when you see a grown man.
3
Why? What's disturbing is a grown man acting like a fifteen year old girl
1
Why would that be disturbing? There is nothing wrong or shameful about being a 15 year old girl. Furthermore: teenage girls know the value of "tending and befriending." They instinctively grasp that it's better to navigate the high school jungle with a team of peers to at one's back than to go it alone. They reach out to their friends and allies in times of stress. They share documentation of the wrongs inflicted on them: "OMG can you BELIEVE what Mindi said to me???" Similar practices are the bedrock of protective and proactive responses to abusive incidents in the work arena.
He is a predator, and a manipulative bully. Comey's answers of "I don't know" when asked why he didn't do this or that in the moment is the same confusion and why I call 'brain static' when you're in the presence of a narcissist sociopath. They are signal jammers and use their power to intimidate and coerce. It's very analogous to sexual harassment but I would argue that this type of behavior is not sexual in nature. I'm sure Trump has used this type of tactic on business partners, rivals and 'friends' his entire life. Ask his biographer if it seems unusual.
13
That's the first thing I thought of when I read that Comey asked not to be left alone with him. How often women are in that situation AND have no one to go to who won't question them, tell them they are blowing things out of proportion, or instruct them to "just do your job."
12
Ask yourself this simple question. In a fair fight conducted respectfully within the constraints of our legal system, who would you choose to be in your corner, Comey or Trump? The name you pick will say almost everything about you.
Comey's opening remarks yesterday were so stirringly patriotic, what an exemplary personage. The only sign of emotion was when he uttered the word "lies", I observed the slightest quiver in his voice, did anyone else pick that up?
Comey's opening remarks yesterday were so stirringly patriotic, what an exemplary personage. The only sign of emotion was when he uttered the word "lies", I observed the slightest quiver in his voice, did anyone else pick that up?
14
Yes! And as with sexual harassment, it's never just one victim. It is part of a pattern.
I've thought about this every time someone says 'why didn't he go to someone?' You wouldn't ask that question if you understood sexual harassment and the power dynamics at it's core.
I've thought about this every time someone says 'why didn't he go to someone?' You wouldn't ask that question if you understood sexual harassment and the power dynamics at it's core.
11
Perfect analogy.
Tump is no doubt a predator and a manipulator - this is totally at odds with Paul Ryan's political posture that Tump is politically naive and does not know the protocol. Ryan is nothing but an enabler.
Tump is no doubt a predator and a manipulator - this is totally at odds with Paul Ryan's political posture that Tump is politically naive and does not know the protocol. Ryan is nothing but an enabler.
11
consider that Ryan has received the same treatment Comey did -- but reacted differently.
5
a chilling parallel. Trump is so accustomed to using these tactics on targeted females, he utilizes them on men as well, practiced as he is in manipulation and intimidation. "We had that thing" is enough to turn my stomach. The man in the White House is a dangerous person.
10
A boss always has power over someone who reports to him. Who could run a business if they were not able to tell their employees what to do, if it were related to that business, and threaten them with consequences if they did not comply ? Why do so many people equate all behavior to sex?
6
If you have to ask that question "why do so many people equate all behavior to sex" you haven't experienced sexual harassment or any other kind of harassment. As a woman I have had inappropriate comments directed towards me about my clothes, my figure, my choice of career, my manners, you name it. I've heard comments made about upset women being "on the rag", PMSing, too hormonal. I've seen and experienced male coworkers touching me in ways that were inappropriate and had sexual overtones. I've been told, to my face, that as a woman I don't need to make much money. I can get married. I've been molested. I've been physically abused. Most of this has been done by, guess what, the male of the species.
Men feel free to say and do things to women and others in positions under them that they wouldn't dare say or do to anyone else. I've had the experience, more than once, of being lied about by my supervisor to his supervisor. I've been interrupted and shut down by men only to see my ideas accepted if proposed by another man. And I'm not the only woman out there who can say this or more. There are millions of us who live through this every day of our working lives and sometimes in our private lives.
Men feel free to say and do things to women and others in positions under them that they wouldn't dare say or do to anyone else. I've had the experience, more than once, of being lied about by my supervisor to his supervisor. I've been interrupted and shut down by men only to see my ideas accepted if proposed by another man. And I'm not the only woman out there who can say this or more. There are millions of us who live through this every day of our working lives and sometimes in our private lives.
14
Giving employees orders to run a business is quite different from being a predator. Surely you can see the difference.
4
Of course a boss can and does and should tell an employee what to do. Doing it in secret, with a threatening manner is not normal, and in government, there are separations and protocol that are there for a reason. Have meetings, write memos, back it up! Trump has knowledge of all this, that is why he emptied the room at one meeting, and had a funky one-on-one isolated dinner on another occasion. He stated himself that he is predator and brags about his ability to take whatever he wants. Take him at his word -- I do!
3
I thought that Comey didn't want to be alone in a room with Trump because he could have feared that Trump would grope him. Actually, what it was obvious that Trump wanted to do was make Comey give up his integrity, which is worse than ceding one's virtue.
8
First thing I told my husband when I read Comey's testimony was "geez, it's so similar to sexual harassment. Every woman on the planet is going to make that connection." And it's so disgusting on every level. I think James Comey is an American hero and I feel like he is owed a massive apology for being a true patriot who had to withstand this corrupt man's vile advances, maintain his integrity and lose his job because of it. Trump needs to be impeached.
12
This makes me think of how Trump seems to revel in humiliating Chris Christie. He likes to control, manipulate and humiliate people.
13
And let's not forget how readily Trump spoke up in support of fellow predator Bill O'Reilly. Excellent op-ed!
12
It should be noted that Samantha Bee just made the same observation via comedy and got hammered for it. Some readers assumed that in doing so, she was trivializing their harassment experience. However, as was pointed out here, she was merely highlighting the consistencies in what happens when someone has enormous power, wields it against a "subordinate", and then tries to use his power and influence to discredit the accuser(s).
It therefore wasn't too surprising to see how Fox News, where this kind of behavior has infused itself in the culture, reacted to this news. The real reporters there saw this as a bad day for the presidency and our democracy. The President of the United States was called a liar by a former FBI Director under oath. (The "birther" debacle alone lends credence to that.) While the Fox commentators see this as Presidential "vindication" and think the entire Russia story is now game over.
Nevertheless, three investigations press forward, while the Republicans try to press forward on their agenda. Ryan sees this as simply Presidential "naivety" (though apparently not "naive" enough to forget to remove all witnesses from the Oval office before engaging in such behavior).
It's unfortunate that there isn't a "rape kit" for this, just as there isn't for many of the President's other alleged indiscretions.
It therefore wasn't too surprising to see how Fox News, where this kind of behavior has infused itself in the culture, reacted to this news. The real reporters there saw this as a bad day for the presidency and our democracy. The President of the United States was called a liar by a former FBI Director under oath. (The "birther" debacle alone lends credence to that.) While the Fox commentators see this as Presidential "vindication" and think the entire Russia story is now game over.
Nevertheless, three investigations press forward, while the Republicans try to press forward on their agenda. Ryan sees this as simply Presidential "naivety" (though apparently not "naive" enough to forget to remove all witnesses from the Oval office before engaging in such behavior).
It's unfortunate that there isn't a "rape kit" for this, just as there isn't for many of the President's other alleged indiscretions.
8
What a silly article that diminishes sexual harassment . Everyone experiences manipulation, intimidation, and other exercises of power by their boss- it is inherent in the power dynamics. To conflate any and every power play by a boss with sexual harassment , a unique form of power because of its use to get sexual favors, is not just simplistic, it is counterproductive. Stop trying so hard.
3
Actually, no, everyone does not experience "manipulation, intimidation, and other exercises of power by their boss." If you consider this to be normal, then it explains why you can't understand Comey's reactions. And the issue here is not sexual harrassment -- it simple harrassment - there are lots of varieties.
4
I am not objecting to Comey's claim he was intimidated; in fact I think the series of events and statements, were more-they were a threat-get rid of this(either the investigation of Flynn or the entire Russia investigation) or I will fire you. and no, I don't think its normal boss behavior. What I object to is the comparison to sexual harassment- two very distinct bad acts. if you compare an unrelated act to sexual harassment, you are diminishing the unique nature and evilness of sexual harassment.
1
Thank you, Ms. Serratore, for your op-ed outlining the isomorphism between Mr. Trump as President and Mr. Trump as predator.
1
Amen, amen, amen. I thought the same. And the senators who asked, "Why didn't you do xyz? have apparently never been in a similar situation.
I'm not a woman but, I totally got that creepy, helpless vibe watching Comey's testimony. Your analogy makes good sense,
8
As I watched Comey's testimony, I thought to myself "This has some of the same dynamics as sexual harassment." I was astonished. Ms. Serratore's piece shows me that I am not alone in my assessment. Trump is a predatory creep.
Yes, this is exactly how it happens-- sexual harassment. You're cornered-- alone, in a confined space and it's all completely unexpected. It takes a while to carefully compose a reply to the unwanted verbal approach that's aimed at you. It all feels so wrong, and you ask yourself what did I do or say that got me here?
The answer is simply that a predator was in your circle of associates, and he had power and he had no compunction about abusing that power to get whatever he wanted.
The answer is simply that a predator was in your circle of associates, and he had power and he had no compunction about abusing that power to get whatever he wanted.
134
Wow! I'm in tears.. this is so prescient.
5
This is just another aspect of the type of intimidation a dictator uses to control people. This was a very insightful piece that hit me in the gut. It doesn't matter your size or your sex, a predator can make you freeze like a deer in the headlights. You just wonder how you can get out alive and with your integrity intact. When will republicans in congress realize who and what they are dealing with; or maybe they already see themselves as that deer in the headlights and are too afraid to move. Unfortunately, our country's democracy is also at stake, so move they must.
9
Hit the nail right on the head.
3
One comment for Nicole Serratore - Bravo! Well, two more words - thank you!
9
I too noticed the power dynamics often seen in sexual predatory behavior. Obviously this is not sexual in nature in this instance, however the coercive psychological pattern of predatory behavior in order to abuse power over someone seen as more vulnerable is. Now it makes sense why DT did not fire Comey in January. DT's predatory instincts would lead him to think Comey, after his HRC disclosures, is vulnerable and prone to be icontrolled. He thought he could trap Comey to shut down investigatorn. DT miscalculated on Coney's professionalism. DT left a glaring question as to why? What's he covering up?
It's quite appalling for the POTUS to call forward the FBI chief with open arms during a ceremony to blow him a kiss, pull him in fir a tight embrace and say in his earn, I'm really looking forward to working with you. Them, DT arranges a series of private meetings to press for loyalty and to let Flynn off. Comey tells Sessions not to leave him alone withn DT yet Session complicity does just so. Why didn't Comey say anything? Same psychological dynamic in victims who don't tell: pattern of fear, intimidation, and being "stunned." Comey was never in this position before. Being alone without witnesses sets up a he said, he said and so difficult to prove. Finally there's the subtlety of nuance in tone, facial expression, innuendo, what's implied beyond just words. Very confusing! DT is dumb as a door but wow how sinister!
It's quite appalling for the POTUS to call forward the FBI chief with open arms during a ceremony to blow him a kiss, pull him in fir a tight embrace and say in his earn, I'm really looking forward to working with you. Them, DT arranges a series of private meetings to press for loyalty and to let Flynn off. Comey tells Sessions not to leave him alone withn DT yet Session complicity does just so. Why didn't Comey say anything? Same psychological dynamic in victims who don't tell: pattern of fear, intimidation, and being "stunned." Comey was never in this position before. Being alone without witnesses sets up a he said, he said and so difficult to prove. Finally there's the subtlety of nuance in tone, facial expression, innuendo, what's implied beyond just words. Very confusing! DT is dumb as a door but wow how sinister!
6
Thanks, Pat.
great comment.
great comment.
1
We are well reminded of Donald trump's despicable attitude toward women by this op ed contribution, but linking it to James Comey in any way seems a bit of a stretch.
3
Well, those of us who have been in harassment situations don't find it much of a stretch at all.
3
My wife said this is exactly how she knew how Comey felt.
A truly great column that opened my male eyes to what women already know.
A truly great column that opened my male eyes to what women already know.
198
This was not sexual. I abhor coercion and manipulation, but this was not sexual.
Pragmatic Dad, I share your anger and revulsion at the very real indignities and degradations suffered by women victimized by men in positions of power over them. Nothing should diminish our moral outrage at these violations, or our commitment to see every perpetrator punished and the practice extinguished.
Ms Serratore's linkage of Mr Comey's experiences to those so often confronted by women offers us an invaluable, larger lesson: that the basis of this predatory behavior lies in a willful perversion of the dynamics of personal and organizational power, and the underlying social pathology is inherently gender-indifferent. The vastly disproportionate victimization of women by men does not diminish the the wrongness and unacceptability of these iniquities, whatever the genders of the perpetrator and the victim.
The fact that Mr Comey is a tall and dignified man of considerable personal (and, at the outset, organizational) power does nothing to diminish the seriousness and wrongness of the repeated indignities and ultimate degradation (in the dictionary sense of ‘deposition from an office or rank as a punishment’) that he suffered from Mr Trump, a remorseless serial predator, demonstrably indifferent to the gender of his victims.
Thank you, Ms Serratore, for saying a deep truth best told by a woman. Your explicit, point-by-point explication of Mr Comey's experience, from the female perspective, is a lesson that will resonate for me always.
Ms Serratore's linkage of Mr Comey's experiences to those so often confronted by women offers us an invaluable, larger lesson: that the basis of this predatory behavior lies in a willful perversion of the dynamics of personal and organizational power, and the underlying social pathology is inherently gender-indifferent. The vastly disproportionate victimization of women by men does not diminish the the wrongness and unacceptability of these iniquities, whatever the genders of the perpetrator and the victim.
The fact that Mr Comey is a tall and dignified man of considerable personal (and, at the outset, organizational) power does nothing to diminish the seriousness and wrongness of the repeated indignities and ultimate degradation (in the dictionary sense of ‘deposition from an office or rank as a punishment’) that he suffered from Mr Trump, a remorseless serial predator, demonstrably indifferent to the gender of his victims.
Thank you, Ms Serratore, for saying a deep truth best told by a woman. Your explicit, point-by-point explication of Mr Comey's experience, from the female perspective, is a lesson that will resonate for me always.
13
Every woman thought of this listening to or reading Comey's comments. Or at least the vast majority. This isn't a special insight - it's just a fact. "I didn't want to be alone with him"???? Yup. There's nothing terribly earth shattering about this opinion piece since so many of this had the identical thoughts - instantly - but it's worthwhile to point it out to people as some folks obviously can't comprehend being in this situation. I suspect that could be said of Mr. Comey until he experienced it first hand.
4
This article is spot on. I felt like jumping out of my skin reading it. #45 was so recognizable as a predator, that during the election, women all over the country were having nightmares of sexual abuse. It's clear that for this man, predatory behavior is serial and goes way beyond sexual (who knows. maybe some shrink could make some connections). In short, I appreciated James Comey's honestly expressed emotions and your excellent written opinion.
7
I agree completely with your point of view on this. As someone who was subjected to an employer who liked to shut the door and isolate, demand loyalty, and suggest inappropriate behavior, I can verify that Comey was put in a very, very difficult situation.
It becomes "my word against the boss" and if that boss is unscrupulous enough to behave in that manner in the first place, a part of you knows that person can absolutely not be trusted in any way. And a part of you knows that that boss will probably be believed (or at least not defied) over anything you say or do. Moreover, a boss who behaves like that is usually surrounded by a group of submissive staff members who are loyal to that boss.
It is an awful position to be put in.
In the end, I think sexual harassment is not really about sex at all. It is about power and making the other person submit to your requests. And I think that's what Comey sensed.
It becomes "my word against the boss" and if that boss is unscrupulous enough to behave in that manner in the first place, a part of you knows that person can absolutely not be trusted in any way. And a part of you knows that that boss will probably be believed (or at least not defied) over anything you say or do. Moreover, a boss who behaves like that is usually surrounded by a group of submissive staff members who are loyal to that boss.
It is an awful position to be put in.
In the end, I think sexual harassment is not really about sex at all. It is about power and making the other person submit to your requests. And I think that's what Comey sensed.
8
You are entirely correct about it not being sexual. It's all about pervert abuse of power to subjugate and control the victims.
I thought this same thing when I saw James Comey being grilled by the Senators. I felt my stomach tighten and felt immediate empathy toward Director Comey. We have all been there. Thanks for a beutiful analysis.
7
After watching Comey's testimony, and listening to a reporter who had covered Trump talk about how he would say things like, "you're my friend," "I like you," or other ingratiating comments, I said to my husband that Trump's behavior reminded me of an abuser. Abuser's try to artificially befriend you before they abuse you, to get you to trust them before they do you harm. Trump is not an honest man. His relationships with people are transactional at best. He is not to be trusted. With anything.
6
There's a psychological state called "learned helplessness" that is part of the experience of partner abuse -- where the abused person, over time, comes to feel that there is no recourse because her attempts to get help always end badly -- with the abuser able to convince others that she is lying or exaggerating, and attempts to escape always ending in retaliation. As a citizen I'm starting to get that feeling, as outrage after outrage comes to light, but his supporters and the Republicans in Congress just circle the wagons around him. Good grief, when do we get our country back?
6
Exactly what I was thinking too....the scenarios are very similar right up to victim shaming and discrediting. But bullying is bullying whether it's about sex or anything else. This seems to be Trump's only move.
6
Before Comey's testimony - in fact within a few days after he was fired - I made the comment to a friend that Trump was doing everything but sexually harassing the guy. If you expand the definition of sexual harassment somewhat broadly to include a situation where someone exhibits a display of power in an attempt to intimidate and control someone else - call it perhaps the whole "alpha male" intimidation tactic so many women are familiar with - maybe calling this "sexual" harassment isn't so far off the mark as it might first appear. It has all the hallmarks of one of "those" encounters - the smarmy "suggestions" about what they want you to do, the not-so-subtle threat that your job is on the line if you don't comply, the tactic of cutting you out of the herd and isolating you into a situation where it's your word against theirs. Sure passes the smell test for me, and I understood Comey completely when he described being stunned into that deer-in-the-headlights state that prevents your brain from firing on all cylinders. All you want to do is extricate yourself while doing as little (further) damage as possible. Over the years I've seen Trump types use these tactics on other men in the workplace as well as women and the end result, if you take sexual favours out of the equation (and sometimes not), is pretty much the same.
8
I also felt that creepy vibe during his testimony. Especially when Sen. Feinstein noted that he's a big strong man, why didn't he speak up and tell the president it was wrong. He blamed himself "maybe if I had been stronger". It felt very much like the interactions women have had related to their harassers.
I empathisize with Comey. He was increasingly uncomfortable with the unwanted, awkward conversations from the president and more uncertain with how to proceed. It seems to have "felt" like an attempt at obstruction to Comey, even if the words were not so direct.
I empathisize with Comey. He was increasingly uncomfortable with the unwanted, awkward conversations from the president and more uncertain with how to proceed. It seems to have "felt" like an attempt at obstruction to Comey, even if the words were not so direct.
5
Great article and interesting argument. Though I've got to say that the head of the FBI is too powerful to compare to a young woman being Trumped upon. Now if Comey said Trump had touched him inappropriately, that would have been darned interesting
1
No, he's not too powerful. And to suggest that the only women who are harassed are 'young' is to be intentionally ignorant. This happens to women of every age and place in hierarchical structures.
6
My mother is 68 years old, and had a man rub his parts against her in a grocery store last week. I suspect that anyone who would equate sexual harassment with youth (and assumed beauty) is somewhat ignorant with regard to what it is, and why people do it.
4
As a woman who had faced subtle and not-so-subtle sexual harassment throughout my career, and even worse, throughout my childhood, my FIRST thought when I read, then heard, Comey's testimony was exactly this--"finally a man is describing in excruciating detail exactly what I have faced so many times in the past, and then being asked to defend himself as if he is the criminal!" I have known at a gut-level Trump is a predator from his earliest participation in our political process. Those of us who have experienced predation have an internal meter that went into the red zone from the beginning. Sadly, people like Trump have a hypnotic charm for those who have never experienced abuse and harassment of this kind....and so here we are.
5
Exactly the same feeling from me- and I am a person who was diagnosed with Complex PTSD due to sexual abuse by my ex-partner, who happened to be in law enforcement.
The saddest part of the comments section is just how many women are saying "yes, this is it" and how many men (or "gender unspecific names") are basically doing exactly the same victim-blaming: "if you are a strong person, it won't happen", and blah blah blah.
One can only hope that Mr. Comey's reaction, and the outcry of all of the women out here in comment-space will render some people to wake up to the fact that sexual harassment is an actual thing, and that Trump is a terrifying human.
The saddest part of the comments section is just how many women are saying "yes, this is it" and how many men (or "gender unspecific names") are basically doing exactly the same victim-blaming: "if you are a strong person, it won't happen", and blah blah blah.
One can only hope that Mr. Comey's reaction, and the outcry of all of the women out here in comment-space will render some people to wake up to the fact that sexual harassment is an actual thing, and that Trump is a terrifying human.
7
Like Comey was stunned by Trump's question regarding Flynn, I was stunned when Comey was questioned about his response to his intimidating, bullying, underhanded creep of a boss (I chose each of those words very carefully). I've worked for an intimidating, bullying, underhanded creep of a boss. I can't imagine anyone being able to immediately 'slam' back in that situation.
4
Comey critics say that when Trump asked him to pledge loyalty and to stop the Flynn probe, he should have stood up and told Trump to take a flying leap. But there were legitimate reasons he did not, reasons I’m sure resonate with women.
In the instant he realized his boss was threatening his job, I’m sure it was flying through his mind what confronting Trump might mean – that Trump might fire him and stop the entire Russia investigation, in the process destroying the integrity of the entire FBI and harming the country. He might be thinking that he needs to get out of that room, go home and think through how to rally resources and find a strategy to effectively combat Trump’s leverage. Harrassed women have the same concerns – how can I keep my job and support my family, but somehow find a way to stop this abuser?
In the instant he realized his boss was threatening his job, I’m sure it was flying through his mind what confronting Trump might mean – that Trump might fire him and stop the entire Russia investigation, in the process destroying the integrity of the entire FBI and harming the country. He might be thinking that he needs to get out of that room, go home and think through how to rally resources and find a strategy to effectively combat Trump’s leverage. Harrassed women have the same concerns – how can I keep my job and support my family, but somehow find a way to stop this abuser?
That Comey described his meeting with Trump so similarly to the experience of a sexual victim with a predator is strong evidence of his honesty. He clearly had not seen the parallel. Comey was not challenged on what he meant by "the nature of the person I was meeting with." That is understood by even Trump's staunchest supporters. Thank you, Ms. Serratore.
6
These were my exact thoughts as I listened to the testimony. And I thought it was dense of those questioners not to realize the truth of this. Certainly, I would have expectedDiane Feinsteinto realize Mr. Comey's position and his dance to avoid confrontation from a man who clearly does not take no for an answer.
I do not doubt for a minute that Mr. Comey is telling the truth about his encounters and his wish to avoid future encounters. I am glad he has had a forum to clear his name.
I do not doubt for a minute that Mr. Comey is telling the truth about his encounters and his wish to avoid future encounters. I am glad he has had a forum to clear his name.
6
Bullying is bullying, often applied as sexual harassment.
Persons unaccustomed to being bullied might very well react with puzzlement and withheld response.
Persons unaccustomed to being bullied might very well react with puzzlement and withheld response.
4
The word that is missing in MS Serratore article is Job, it was also missing in Comey's testimony, as a matter of fact ,it is the shot in the head Comey needed to utterly demolish Trump.When asked why Comey did not tell Trump it was inappropriate to be asked to go easy on Flynn who was under investigation, he was at a lost for words & finally settled on he was weak.He would have be powerful if he replied , I was afraid he would fire me, everyone could understand that, especially, that he was fired for not following Trumps orders to drop the case against Flynn, which in spite of partisan Republicans attempt to twist Trumps words, is exactly what Trump said to Comey.
3
As someone who has experienced both sexual harassment and violent sexual assault, it's a relief to know that someone else sees in Trump the same patterns of behavior that serial predators show. Nicole Serratore's account is spot-on, and also, judging from the comments here, being met with the same scorn that many women encounter when they report sexual abuse by men in power. Here's hoping her article opens some eyes.
7
Even before Mr. Comey's testimony, I had concerns that Mr. Comey was being harassed. (Remember when he said he was mildly nauseous?) Sadly, we have laws against Sexual Harassment, but not really against "Harassment". (Nearly impossible to prove in court.) It's clear that Mr. Comey is a sincere, government employee who's loyalty to the United States is beyond question. Even before the election, Mr. Trump questioned the integrity of our our intelligence agencies. He physically pushed Mr. Comey around & he hinted that Mr. Comey could lose his job. It's important to realize that our president was NOT looking for a pledge of loyalty to our country, he wanted Mr. Comey to pledge loyalty to Donald Trump.
As a government employee, I can imagine that if I had a boss like that, it would pose significant problems. What if that boss did not care about or understand that the primary mission of government employees is to protect & serve it's citizens? What if that boss had "friends" in the private sector and he wanted to award contracts to them? What if the companies his "friends" owned could not pass the requirements to win those BIDs? This boss would probably try to get rid of those rules and he would target and harass the strongest, most dedicated, law abiding employees who stood in his way.
That said, I still believe that Mr. Comey threw Mrs. Clinton under the bus just to prove that he was fair & "non-partisan". It was an effort to save the FBI and to save his own job.
As a government employee, I can imagine that if I had a boss like that, it would pose significant problems. What if that boss did not care about or understand that the primary mission of government employees is to protect & serve it's citizens? What if that boss had "friends" in the private sector and he wanted to award contracts to them? What if the companies his "friends" owned could not pass the requirements to win those BIDs? This boss would probably try to get rid of those rules and he would target and harass the strongest, most dedicated, law abiding employees who stood in his way.
That said, I still believe that Mr. Comey threw Mrs. Clinton under the bus just to prove that he was fair & "non-partisan". It was an effort to save the FBI and to save his own job.
I see a linkage between Trump's attempt to intimidate Comey and how he has often treated women. He is a child in a man's body and his inherited wealth has often allowed him to simply take what he wanted. He has bragged about doing that to women, abused investors in his businesses without remorse and he casually lies and cheats as President.
It is all a part of a consistent pattern from a man who never has grown up and learned how ethical adults should behave. I think he is distasteful as an individual but I find him terrifying in one of the the most powerful positions in the world. Nothing good will come from any of this and I am certain that the worst is yet to come.
It is all a part of a consistent pattern from a man who never has grown up and learned how ethical adults should behave. I think he is distasteful as an individual but I find him terrifying in one of the the most powerful positions in the world. Nothing good will come from any of this and I am certain that the worst is yet to come.
7
The fact that this comparison can even be made just goes to show that sexual harassment in the workplace is about entitlement and abuse of power, not about sex. And Comey's discomfort with the situation probably arose as much from the shock of finding out that, despite being a powerful man in his own right, before his predatory boss he had no standing at all. When you're not expecting it, of course you don't know what to do.
5
Brooks seems to think lemonade is possible from the lemons souring the White House. He seems besmirched by Trump the bad boy, thinking he will somehow learn from all the bad news and do better. Think again. The fascination with Trump's fake "powerful rich guy" story about himself, echoed by those easily bamboozled or impressed by intimidation, reminds me of the wolf in Red Riding Hood. Except the sycophants surrounding Trump are not sweet and trusting. They are as corrupt as he is, willingly seduced to play their role in his fake administration until the last paycheck is cashed. It will be an agonizing experience for Americans and the world to watch as things unravel, but the lessons will be priceless, for the media especially. What a great time to be a journalist or student of history. Oops, just made some lemonade myself.
6
I was so happy to read this op-ed. I was wondering if I was the only one who had the same reaction.
There are lots of women who have been "propositioned" in a less than direct manner by someone (usually a boss or co-worker). The meaning is clear, yet the perpetrator can always deny that is what he or she meant. It leaves the target very uneasy many times with no clear course of action. And, as Mr. Comey indicated, if the target does report it, will she or he be believed. Maybe it was a misinterpretation. It can make you wonder if you're going crazy.
The most clear-cut example I have happened to a friend. Our boss and she had what she thought was a friendly relationship. Coming back from a meeting, he made a statement to her that was clearly a proposition. Yet, if she had reported what he said to her, people would have thought she was paranoid because he did not directly say he wanted to have a sexual relationship with her. Soon after, he started to scrutinize her work (and no one else's), clearly looking for a reason to have her brought up on discipline charges or fired. Luckily, she was excellent at her job and he never found anything.
So--there is clearly still a question as to what "I hope" meant. Taking into consideration that Mr. Comey was soon fired and the president called Comey "a real nut job" and stated that the matter of Russia was off his back, one can reasonably conclude that "I hope" was actually a directive.
There are lots of women who have been "propositioned" in a less than direct manner by someone (usually a boss or co-worker). The meaning is clear, yet the perpetrator can always deny that is what he or she meant. It leaves the target very uneasy many times with no clear course of action. And, as Mr. Comey indicated, if the target does report it, will she or he be believed. Maybe it was a misinterpretation. It can make you wonder if you're going crazy.
The most clear-cut example I have happened to a friend. Our boss and she had what she thought was a friendly relationship. Coming back from a meeting, he made a statement to her that was clearly a proposition. Yet, if she had reported what he said to her, people would have thought she was paranoid because he did not directly say he wanted to have a sexual relationship with her. Soon after, he started to scrutinize her work (and no one else's), clearly looking for a reason to have her brought up on discipline charges or fired. Luckily, she was excellent at her job and he never found anything.
So--there is clearly still a question as to what "I hope" meant. Taking into consideration that Mr. Comey was soon fired and the president called Comey "a real nut job" and stated that the matter of Russia was off his back, one can reasonably conclude that "I hope" was actually a directive.
7
As if "I HOPE we can be more than just workplace friends..." would not be considered sexual harassment coming from your boss!
1
Your insightful perspective instantly nailed the creepy sensation of recognition I had when Mr. Comey detailed his encounters with the president. In the workplace, I have been on the receiving end of the smarmy faux intimacy that reeks of sexual coercion based on hierarchical power. These encounters caused a hair-on-the-back-of-the-neck reaction that temporarily froze my responses. Recalibrating that an interaction is nothing about business but rather an ugly over-reach from one who can fire you causes precisely the emotions Mr. Comey described.
I resonated with Mr. Comey's attempts to signal his boss that he had crossed into unacceptable territory without a confrontational calling-out of his outrageous behavior for what it was - an abuse of power.
I understand the revulsion Mr. Comey expressed as he attempted to parry President Trump's unlawful demand that his personal loyalty trump the rule of law.
I resonated with Mr. Comey's attempts to signal his boss that he had crossed into unacceptable territory without a confrontational calling-out of his outrageous behavior for what it was - an abuse of power.
I understand the revulsion Mr. Comey expressed as he attempted to parry President Trump's unlawful demand that his personal loyalty trump the rule of law.
This seems spot on to me.
But Comey helped deliver Trump with his pre-election announcement - and unannouncement - regarding HRC's emails. How does that fit into this particular narrative?
But Comey helped deliver Trump with his pre-election announcement - and unannouncement - regarding HRC's emails. How does that fit into this particular narrative?
Thanks Nicole, way to wade deeply into OP ED writing! I believe him too.
I understand when he says, " I don't know", when asked why he didn't tell the president he was inappropriate with this power.
Faced with abusive power imbalances, or sexual harassment, the silent, walled in, fuzzy, confused, paralyzed fear that overcomes a person is something many of us understand.. Comey's testimony brought this back..
In the moment, time stops, calculating moves become fuzzy, and like the slow motion of a car accident, the damage has been done.
Big tall man, little tiny girl, its all the same people. fear is fear.
abuse of power is abuse of power, and this author hit the nail on the head.
This president is clearly a predator, as "what possible benign motive, made him clear the oval office."
This creepy president has to go, here's hoping Comey's testimony brings us a step closer.
I understand when he says, " I don't know", when asked why he didn't tell the president he was inappropriate with this power.
Faced with abusive power imbalances, or sexual harassment, the silent, walled in, fuzzy, confused, paralyzed fear that overcomes a person is something many of us understand.. Comey's testimony brought this back..
In the moment, time stops, calculating moves become fuzzy, and like the slow motion of a car accident, the damage has been done.
Big tall man, little tiny girl, its all the same people. fear is fear.
abuse of power is abuse of power, and this author hit the nail on the head.
This president is clearly a predator, as "what possible benign motive, made him clear the oval office."
This creepy president has to go, here's hoping Comey's testimony brings us a step closer.
7
I have never read an opinion article that so clearly expressed the queasy, uneasy feeling that comes over me when in the presence of such a man. Beneath this is the fear that if I give the wrong signal somehow, or speak in such a way that can (and will most likely) be misinterpreted, the consequences could be disastrous or at the very least embarrassing, and used against me. No apologies . . . This is just me saying, "Scary dude." P.S. I'm in my mid-seventies.
This analysis is brilliant. My internal recognition antennae are resonating with every word!
2
Anyone doubting the truth of this article need only read Kimberly Strassel's article in today's Wall Street Journal. A classic "blame-the-victim" response, including every line used on women including "Why did he agree to dinner with Mr. Trump in the first place?" And, "Why keep accepting the president's phone calls?" How sad that the response comes from a woman.
8
Yes, that "frozen in disbelief " component at the moment you suddenly realize the subtleties in the dynamic have shifted, the look in the eyes has changed, and the use of the word "hope" ( ( In this case, "I HOPE you can make this Flynn investigation go away", or "I hope you understand what I am REALY wanting from you" ) takes on the meaning of even more than a request...It's a threat of the use of power if you won't satisfy that hope.
Those who argue that Comey is larger than Trump and has a strong personality or that he and Trump are both males are missing the point, which is about power and the abuse of it. I have always thought it foolish to argue that rape is not about sex but about power. It is about both: sex is the object and power is the tool to assert one's will over that of another. In this instance, it was not a sexual "relationship" that was the object, but Trump's desire to make the Russia story go away and his manipulation of the situation (getting Comey alone with no witnesses so that it would be his word against Trump's; asserting, as Ms. Serratore points out that he considered Comey an ally because of his treatment of the Clinton emails; pointing out that if Comey will put loyalty to Trump ahead of his own morals, there will be "loyalty" in return) that are reminiscent of the actions of a sexual predator. Of course, we know that Trump has said that his power as a "star" and as owner of the Miss USA pageant gave him power to do as he liked with women (that this was dismissed as "talk" as if that makes it meaningless has always astounded me). Why would he not expect that his power over Mr. Comey's job would compel Mr. Comey to do as he asked?
111
Can the NYT JUST FOR ONCE not mix gender or race into issues of national concern which have NOTHING TO DO with gender or race?
The coercion and cornering tactics that Trump uses are common to all forms of bullies -- I have seen female managers and journalists do the same thing.
The coercion and cornering tactics that Trump uses are common to all forms of bullies -- I have seen female managers and journalists do the same thing.
4
Right -- it's about power, not about sex. So you agree with the author.
1
Oh no! You sound frustrated that many of the Times subscribers are women who read. Within the first few minutes of watching Comey testify, my thoughts were EXACTLY those of this author...
2
This is a great article in every way.
5
So on target. This is the perfect way to look at this situation. It also explains Mr Trump's success over the years. Success earned in spite of a derelict moral sensibility. Much like a spider, he ensnares his victims. Too bad he has ensnared a whole country this time around.
8
I hope David Brooks reads your column because he missed the underlying mechanics (not the word I want but give me a break I'm getting pretty old) of the situations
7
Ms. Serratore, I cannot tell you how relieved I am to read this piece, and that the Times published it. I have come to the same conclusion, but not just about Trump. The way the GOP treats the left is the same way misogynists treat women. We have a failure of balance here, where the predatory aspects of a patriarchal society (ours) go so far out of line that everyone and everything that attempts to stop them becomes the target, the victim. This is indeed what women experience. But now, it's a predatory movement. We would do well to consider this when calling out those involved in the Trump & Co messes, the Russia scandal, the purposeful dismantling of our government and its agencies. The first destructive step is to remove any recourse, and the next is to blame the victim. Trump is the face of it, the master misogynist, but the behavior of those falling in behind him demonstrates how pervasive misogyny has become in our society. It's not about women vs men anymore. It's about the values traditionally ascribed to women in a patriarchy that are at stake: care for others, cooperation, the importance of family and supporting the next generation so we all benefit. It's time for the Marlboro Man and all he represents--the rugged individualist against the rest of the world--to die. Such an approach is dysfunctional in our increasingly global world. It simply is not going to work to set the US up as a "loner" nation, seeing everyone else as an enemy to batter and suppress.
11
Ms. Serratore, thanks for this column. Trump is a predator in every sense of the word. Predators are individuals every female becomes attuned to from a young age and it continues, I believe, until death.
I'm not joking. While scouting for a new dentist, I had an unsavory experience and moved on until I found a competent professional. When the new permanent dentist tried to bill my insurance, we found out the unsavory dentist got there first. I decided I definitely was not going to pay for being harassed. So, I had no choice but to share (write, call, email) the gory details of my awful experience.
Finally, someone listened and supported my case.
So many of us try to blend into the curtains to avoid unwanted attention like Comey did, but thank goodness, he spoke up. There's no other choice.
I'm not joking. While scouting for a new dentist, I had an unsavory experience and moved on until I found a competent professional. When the new permanent dentist tried to bill my insurance, we found out the unsavory dentist got there first. I decided I definitely was not going to pay for being harassed. So, I had no choice but to share (write, call, email) the gory details of my awful experience.
Finally, someone listened and supported my case.
So many of us try to blend into the curtains to avoid unwanted attention like Comey did, but thank goodness, he spoke up. There's no other choice.
8
Trump's creepiness was also blatantly on display when he paced behind HRC in a debate while she was responding. Women commented they felt anxious and threatened by Trump's stalking behavior. This is likely akin to the attempted seduction of Comey. HRC didn't handle, challenge, or diffuse his ominous presence. She seemed to hope it would just go away. Comey's drapery camouflage seems a similar reaction.
The astounding thing is that people allow Trump to 'do his thing' unchallenged. When Trump alluded to "that thing we had" Comey should have asked: "what thing, exactly?" Journalists and interviewers tend to finish Trump's sentences in astonished horror when he says something outrageous. Rather than hold him accountable to explain and clarify. If invited to elaborate on his logic I'm sure he would. Trump produces a word salad of a non answer and it seems people try to make some sense of it while letting him off the hook.
At this point, it is senseless to try to get Trump to acknowledge truth. Better to encourage him to elaborate so much the better to incriminate him later. The same corrosive "charm" he exudes with women is evident in his efforts to obstruct. Comey speaking truth to/about power may have given some comfort who have been in that hot seat. Being a creep won't get you impeached but it might help you not get re-elected.
The astounding thing is that people allow Trump to 'do his thing' unchallenged. When Trump alluded to "that thing we had" Comey should have asked: "what thing, exactly?" Journalists and interviewers tend to finish Trump's sentences in astonished horror when he says something outrageous. Rather than hold him accountable to explain and clarify. If invited to elaborate on his logic I'm sure he would. Trump produces a word salad of a non answer and it seems people try to make some sense of it while letting him off the hook.
At this point, it is senseless to try to get Trump to acknowledge truth. Better to encourage him to elaborate so much the better to incriminate him later. The same corrosive "charm" he exudes with women is evident in his efforts to obstruct. Comey speaking truth to/about power may have given some comfort who have been in that hot seat. Being a creep won't get you impeached but it might help you not get re-elected.
107
Yes, Nicole, well done. I believe him, too. Thanks!
1
Wow! Talk about stunned! I so understand the author of this piece, and the disturbing situation Mr. Comey was up against. Wow. Down to the letter. Way to step up and distill it to writing so intuitively and true, in a way that women recognize the behavior - oh so well - and, perhaps, educate men to recognizable situations they may have had in the workplace as well. Wow. Well done!!
2
I think this analogy is brilliant and on the spot. This could be viewed as a work place harassment case played on the national stage. Of course Comey was stunned when that happened. He likely experienced that mixture of disbelief that something so wrong and untoward could even happen, then the magnitude of all that he stood to lose, then the realization he will have to find a way to work with the abuser even though this happened. And then came the abuser's denying. And then it became he said-he said. And then the victim of the abuser became accused of not speaking up or standing up to the abuser. It is a classic scenario.
I thank the author of this article for her perspective. This situation, played at a national scale, is already so dangerous and embarrassing at so many levels. This perspective also brings up a profound human element we all can relate to. No matter that it was the Oval Office. Being bullied and harassed at work can happen everywhere. Even to a mighty, former, director of the FBI!
We all need to be vigilant that this could happen and plan accordingly. Being warned might help us more effectively reflect these attacks in real time and protect ourselves if needed.
One lesson from this point of view: say it is wrong right when it happens; you will lose the job anyway but at least keep your dignity.
I thank the author of this article for her perspective. This situation, played at a national scale, is already so dangerous and embarrassing at so many levels. This perspective also brings up a profound human element we all can relate to. No matter that it was the Oval Office. Being bullied and harassed at work can happen everywhere. Even to a mighty, former, director of the FBI!
We all need to be vigilant that this could happen and plan accordingly. Being warned might help us more effectively reflect these attacks in real time and protect ourselves if needed.
One lesson from this point of view: say it is wrong right when it happens; you will lose the job anyway but at least keep your dignity.
12
Anyone who was abused as a child can relate to this. Anyone who was harassed on a job can understand what Comey was referring to, why he reacted the way he did and why, thankfully, he kept a record of what was said and done. Why didn't he do anything? For the same reason anyone who has been subjected to such behavior by those who control something important don't: they're shocked, don't know if they will be believed, may need the job, the place to live in, etc. Intimidation and bullying, unless practiced on another bully, leave most of us stunned when they happen to us.
I remember being harassed on the job, molested by the family doctor, beaten and verbally abused by my parents. Why didn't I do anything? The doctor was an adult. I was a teenage girl. My parents were middle class and educated. I was their child. The person who harassed me on my job was a man with many more years on the job than I. He had friends. In each case the question was, who would believe me? And each time the answer was the same: no one. It's a very difficult and disturbing situation to be in when one's superiors use their power to harass, intimidate, or otherwise prevent one from doing a job, or if they expect special treatment. The implication here is that Trump, as president expected Comey to do his bidding. When he asked Sessions not to leave him alone with Trump, Sessions refused.
This may not be sexual harassment but the results are the same. Comey felt he couldn't say no.
I remember being harassed on the job, molested by the family doctor, beaten and verbally abused by my parents. Why didn't I do anything? The doctor was an adult. I was a teenage girl. My parents were middle class and educated. I was their child. The person who harassed me on my job was a man with many more years on the job than I. He had friends. In each case the question was, who would believe me? And each time the answer was the same: no one. It's a very difficult and disturbing situation to be in when one's superiors use their power to harass, intimidate, or otherwise prevent one from doing a job, or if they expect special treatment. The implication here is that Trump, as president expected Comey to do his bidding. When he asked Sessions not to leave him alone with Trump, Sessions refused.
This may not be sexual harassment but the results are the same. Comey felt he couldn't say no.
18
I agree with almost everything in this article - I have dealt with harassment and abuse of power in the workplace. However, this does not REMIND me of sexual harassment; sexual harassment is a TYPE of abuse of power - the overarching argument in this article has it backwards. We don't need to argue that women understood what he went through because we deal with sexual harassment (and let's not forget, men deal with it as well); what we need to put forth is that anyone subject to abuse of power of any form has similar experiences - then work on changing that dynamic and prevailing social attitudes (disbelief, skepticism, the what did the victim do line of questioning) and strengthen the laws that protect workers who report.
8
It's interesting to listen to the those attempting to diminish Comey's reaction and responses to what Comey clearly understood as Trump's emerging plan to intimidate and unbalance Comey's duties. Clearly many of the Republicans looking to cast doubt on Comey lack the emotional imagination to conceive the inner dialogue of any normal person when faced with manipulations of a predator psychology that are cruising just faintly below the surface.
The predator relies on the innate decency and reluctance to confront the behaviour of someone who is operating outside societal norms. Trump clearly set out to place his powers over Comey to obtain his wishes. Comey, as any normal person would, reacts with alarm and slowly develops the mounting defenses to counter Trumps ploys. It is exactly the same dynamics experienced by women everywhere at the hands of men who are willing to abuse their power for personal privilege and benefit.
Any normal, decent human - regardless of having 6 foot, 8 inch height, is at an initial disadvantage when faced with the bent psychology of a persistent abuser of power, position and official office.
The predator relies on the innate decency and reluctance to confront the behaviour of someone who is operating outside societal norms. Trump clearly set out to place his powers over Comey to obtain his wishes. Comey, as any normal person would, reacts with alarm and slowly develops the mounting defenses to counter Trumps ploys. It is exactly the same dynamics experienced by women everywhere at the hands of men who are willing to abuse their power for personal privilege and benefit.
Any normal, decent human - regardless of having 6 foot, 8 inch height, is at an initial disadvantage when faced with the bent psychology of a persistent abuser of power, position and official office.
28
"...innate decency and reluctance to confront" says it all.
It's amazing what a powerful person can get away with because his victim doesn't want to make a scene--or doesn't have the experience to confront the situation.
It's amazing what a powerful person can get away with because his victim doesn't want to make a scene--or doesn't have the experience to confront the situation.
9
If the FBI Director is so easily "victimized" he has no business in that position anyway.
12
There is one person in this story that has no business in his position; and it's not James Comey.
6
Excellent article! Yes, exactly what I was thinking --- this scenario of intimidation was all too familiar. Many Men I've spoken to ask why didn't Comey just get up and leave, if he was uncomfortable. It may be difficult for a powerful man to understand, but for some of us Women who have experienced this over a Lifetime, not just with bosses, but with intimidating males, it is all too familiar and all too understandable.
Mr Comey, I get it.
Mr Comey, I get it.
21
Excellent analogy. And very creepy. Thanks.
26
Yes, this expresses exactly what I was thinking. Comey's situation so much the same as my daughter's harassment case. Just because the victim didn't handle it perfectly does not make it any less egregious.
36
After his experience with the President Mr Comey did what women who have experienced sexual predation are urged to do- -he went public with his experience by writing about it, telling colleagues what happened and then going to the news media via a friend. The backlash against these actions by the President's cheerleaders demonstrates why many women stay silent.
302
Actually, Trump seductive powers are well known since the "Access Hollywood" tapes were broadcasted. Their use with Comey is their first known use with a man, in this case, to control his investigative capacity. Unfortunately, the President of the United States is not a mature human being, he is a narcissist, of a dangerous kind. Everyone should pay attention to his actions and react to them appropriately and take moral responsibility for the results achieved.
16
Perfect, spot-on analogy and essay.
And if you don't agree, it's never happened to you.
And if you don't agree, it's never happened to you.
25
I know that frozen feeling. It is a self-protective response to an abuse of power. My guess is that most women, and some men, can relate. But not all men.
22
Three things stand out: (1) The White House power setting, (2) the way Trump was keeping Comey off balance regarding his employment, livelihood and reputation, and (3) Trump's long, sordid history of womanizing, lying and firing people at will, which is all public record. Henry VIII is alive and well and living in the White House.
19
Add that Trump wanted to make Comey "the girl". An under current of putting Comey one down by an implied middle school sexual ploy was at play. Not an insult Comey is used to. No wonder Comey froze given his power, authority and height (even in middle school I suspect). It was new, unexpected and so inappropriate in the White House. And yes, women do see this all the time and are also aware when such behavior is used on male co-workers.
22
In the same way there is no 'statute of limitations' on reporting harassment (as it's a common defense of a harasser: "It took her so long to report it, it proves she liked my behavior at the time!"), there should be none considered about why it took Comey 'so long' to respond to Trump's inappropriate behavior.
14
The so-called president has a very limited playlist. And he's made the Oval Office into a shark tank.
11
Human beings are predators. Should we not want a president who is exemplary at this, who brings the predatory skills of our most successful corporations and crime syndicates to the White House?
1
Short answer? NO.
2
We should not.
To what end? The President represents America and Americans. Are you actually endorsing this dark and sordid behavior as American? It's not. It's a universal baseness that American exceptionalism rejected in the 40's.
He's not a winner, and we are not winning when we lower ourselves to normalizing him, oe even worse exceptionalising him.
I wish the President worked harder for decent Americans than spending all his time embracing dictators and protecting his own self interests. Firing Comey was about protecting his interests and not about what is best for America.
Meanwhile the opiod crisis is worse. We've left the Paris Climate Agreement and 20 million people may lose healthcare coverage,. It's not even a year, but, wow, that hearing got great ratings!
He's not a winner, and we are not winning when we lower ourselves to normalizing him, oe even worse exceptionalising him.
I wish the President worked harder for decent Americans than spending all his time embracing dictators and protecting his own self interests. Firing Comey was about protecting his interests and not about what is best for America.
Meanwhile the opiod crisis is worse. We've left the Paris Climate Agreement and 20 million people may lose healthcare coverage,. It's not even a year, but, wow, that hearing got great ratings!
1
Does anyone wonder if the Senate or House members have reached the same conclusion, i.e., that we have a highly skilled predator/manipulator/bully in the White House? The fact that European leaders weren't fooled says a lot. They have seen "him" before in other personifications. Everything Trump does and says makes evil sense when viewed from this perspective. At what point do our government leaders put the welfare of the country above someone who thinks he is a king with absolute authority? There is no naïveté in his approach to governance. It's a power grab, plain and simple, until someone, in this case, Comey, recognized he was going to be the next victim of the "predator in chief".
16
It's ironic that the Republican Senators repeatedly asked Comey why he remained silent and didn't speak up after experiencing Trump's inappropriate behavior when, in fact, the Senators are doing the same thing - remaining silent about Trump's behavior - every day. Weekly, they witness Trump's egregious and dangerous behavior yet, when asked about it by the media, or worse yet of their own volition (that's you Ted Cruz), they support Trump or make excuses for him. Why? They, like Comey are acutely aware of Trump's power and his willingness to abuse that power. They don't want to be on the wrong end of his bullying/vilifying tweets. They refuse to speak out against him for fear of angering him, the GOP, and their constituents, which would put their re-elections at risk.
But I've got news for them. Their re-elections are at risk anyway. This Texas Republican will not be voting for Cruz, Cornyn or Culberson next time. I want to elect someone with a spine who will speak out against the man in power that is single-handedly destroying this country and its diplomatic relations around the world.
But I've got news for them. Their re-elections are at risk anyway. This Texas Republican will not be voting for Cruz, Cornyn or Culberson next time. I want to elect someone with a spine who will speak out against the man in power that is single-handedly destroying this country and its diplomatic relations around the world.
40
So true. Ironic that Bill Cosby is on trial right now for his alleged predation. America is based on rebelling against tyranny. Corruption of power is insidious and can occur on many levels.
3
This is EXACTLY what I thought, too!
6
Spot on. The analogy of sexual exploitation of power, and the methods of manipulation, are completely congruent. It's even kinda funny that the key event was the Valentine's day dinner.
13
To read this as analogous to sexual harassment is fine but also kind so what. The same type of intimidation this author speaks of exists in numerous types of relationships so why connect it to only one type. You can't tell me you have never felt intimidated when called into your boss's office or called on by a teacher to stay after class. Hierarchies exist and always will.
1
This guy says, "Ms. Serratore, thank you for this invaluable insight!"
I thought similar....This was a predatory power move. I am not surprised that he was "stunned." I am surprised that he thought he could "manage the situation." (But please note that Trump's threat to Comey's dignity did not include the baseline physicality that lies beneath sexual harassment.)
The truth is that Comey had options, and he could have served his country best with a principled public resignation.
I and others have been in that moment. For me, it was an invitation to sit in a "pool of blood" beneath my bosses chair. You can say "No!" Maybe not in the moment. Maybe not the next day. But you can find the courage in time. You can preserve your principles and dignity by doing more than writing "memos to self."
Comey stayed "in" when he should have slammed the door of the Oval Office in the face of his "predator."
The truth is that Comey had options, and he could have served his country best with a principled public resignation.
I and others have been in that moment. For me, it was an invitation to sit in a "pool of blood" beneath my bosses chair. You can say "No!" Maybe not in the moment. Maybe not the next day. But you can find the courage in time. You can preserve your principles and dignity by doing more than writing "memos to self."
Comey stayed "in" when he should have slammed the door of the Oval Office in the face of his "predator."
And isn't it interesting that it was a woman, Senator Dianne Feinstein, that asked, "Why didn't you stop and say, 'Mr. President, this is wrong'?"
133
I thought that same thing, but perhaps her intent wasn't to really question that behavior, per se, but instead to give him a chance to fully describe it. Not an unknown trial lawyer trick.
2
Di Fi knows how to ask a leading question. She got the answer she was seeking, when Mr. Comey-- powerful, strong, manly-- confessed that he felt paralyzed by the situation, cowed by the man but also by the office. That line of questioning did not diminish Comey, it humanized him in a way that many of us can relate to, as this column explains. This is why nobody should count Di Fi out-- why she will be remembered as a uniquely great senator. What a contrast to the bumbling McCain of the same vintage!
46
I wonder whether the question was accusatory or an opening for further description of Trump's creepy effect?
2
An excellent and skillful analogy. Trump is a predator with a self-admitted history of sexual assault and harassment. It is no surprise that he would exhibit equally predatory behavior when it came to trying to shut down the Flynn investigation and Comey.
13
Yes! This is so accurate; the comparison is exactly right.
10
So true. And well written.
11
This is a brilliant insight and well said. Thank you!
18
Do the people who work for Trump now record their conversations with him or take Comey-like notes after each interaction? Self-preservation is the least of reasons to do so.
9
I had that exact same thought. Absolutely. And while I can't say I've been in that situation in work, I've been in situations in life where all of that applied, where I've had all those feelings. I didn't question any of his responses. I understood it completely. I believed his reactions/exchange completely. (And I'm mad at him about the saying HRC was under investigation 2 weeks in).
We knew this about Trump but I mean really even to his FBI director?
Also, I want to call out and shame the Senator that suggested that Comey would be thankful for having his plans with his wife cancelled to spend time with the President? What's wrong with you sir?
We knew this about Trump but I mean really even to his FBI director?
Also, I want to call out and shame the Senator that suggested that Comey would be thankful for having his plans with his wife cancelled to spend time with the President? What's wrong with you sir?
33
The senator did not suggest that Comey should be thankful for having to change his plans with his wife to dine with the president. He called it a good excuse line.
1
All day yesterday I was hearing commentators on TV saying, Why didn't James Comey stand up to Donald Trump, why didn't he confront him more. His behavior in response to Trump's pressure seemed to me completely understandable, but I couldn't articulate why; this column does.
51
This is the most absurdly over-the-top piece of tripe in today's NYT edition, and that's saying something. You guys must be having a contest for hysterical hyperbole.
Tomorrow's another day and we'll have a new set of contestants....
Tomorrow's another day and we'll have a new set of contestants....
9
Apparently you're male and/or have never been there, or the article hit close to home because your own behavior has crossed that line. I have been in business 30 years and it is not hyperbole to say that every single one where I had any significant tenure has been marked by some type of sexual advance, harassment, or outright discrimination, beginning with my first job at 21. I was shocked then into non-reaction, and that was generally the case from then on. When I complained, at my job in 2012, I was fired.
15
real american
consider yourself lucky. it appears you have never been harassed or abused.
I love this piece. it IS familiar & TRUE to this REAL american WOMAN.
consider yourself lucky. it appears you have never been harassed or abused.
I love this piece. it IS familiar & TRUE to this REAL american WOMAN.
2
Real American Male???
I haven't really thought of it this way, probably because I'm male, but Nicole may very well be right. It wasn't a sexual thing....but the way the POTUS comported himself during this situation smells to high heaven of self-interested abuse of the throne. Ummmmm....so to speak.
Our POTUS knew what he wanted and, having zero experience in any form of elected office much less knowing (or caring for) how things function in such a sprawling apparatus as our government, he went with his private family fiefdom business practices and experience. He pushed, and not even in a subtle fashion, either; which is the hallmark of a mind insulated his entire life within a bubble of elitism and privilege.
In that space between his ears he's right and powerful, everyone else is wrong and better cater to him. The attitude, that mind-space, comes with his particular lifestyle. He's 70 years old. It's all he knows, and he won't be changing. He'll deny, deny, deny that there's any problem.
So I expect this sort of thing to continue so long as he is alive, as women will tell you is the way it always is. Hell...just look at Bill Cosby. Even now the man refuses to admit anything is/was wrong.
I hate to say it (to the women) but, so it goes. At least until we lock him up or remove him from that throne.
John~
American Net'Zen
Our POTUS knew what he wanted and, having zero experience in any form of elected office much less knowing (or caring for) how things function in such a sprawling apparatus as our government, he went with his private family fiefdom business practices and experience. He pushed, and not even in a subtle fashion, either; which is the hallmark of a mind insulated his entire life within a bubble of elitism and privilege.
In that space between his ears he's right and powerful, everyone else is wrong and better cater to him. The attitude, that mind-space, comes with his particular lifestyle. He's 70 years old. It's all he knows, and he won't be changing. He'll deny, deny, deny that there's any problem.
So I expect this sort of thing to continue so long as he is alive, as women will tell you is the way it always is. Hell...just look at Bill Cosby. Even now the man refuses to admit anything is/was wrong.
I hate to say it (to the women) but, so it goes. At least until we lock him up or remove him from that throne.
John~
American Net'Zen
38
He is also deeply insecure .
1
This is so interesting. Yes, power is relative. The director of the FBI is a powerful person but compared to the president, he is an at-will employee whose reputation could be tarnished at any moment.
Ultimately, this is a story about power, who has it, who doesn't, and who uses their power over less powerful people. When you are a billionaire running your own family business with no shareholders to satisfy, you really are treated like royalty by your subordinates. Trump believes he can transfer that power to the Presidency except he is blocked by our constitution and all the checks and balances that come along with it.
If you add Trump's psychological make up to his holding and exercising Presidential power, we now understand what we are in for. Lord help us.
Ultimately, this is a story about power, who has it, who doesn't, and who uses their power over less powerful people. When you are a billionaire running your own family business with no shareholders to satisfy, you really are treated like royalty by your subordinates. Trump believes he can transfer that power to the Presidency except he is blocked by our constitution and all the checks and balances that come along with it.
If you add Trump's psychological make up to his holding and exercising Presidential power, we now understand what we are in for. Lord help us.
44
This was very interesting, because that's exactly what I was thinking but didn't have the courage to say--it reminded me of a series of unwelcome, predatory sexual advances where ultimately my best course of action was to physically remove myself from the possibility of ever crossing paths with the individual again. What Comey described is not sexual harassment, but it most certainly is
predatory behavior that can be described as harassment. It seems that there is a common playbook--the difference is in the area of specialization.
predatory behavior that can be described as harassment. It seems that there is a common playbook--the difference is in the area of specialization.
71
Ms. Serratore's puts words to the feelings I had yesterday while watching the Senate Intel hearings. Predatory is exactly right. Mr. Comey's uneasiness is so evident in the video in the reception room when he was beckoned to cross the room by President Trump who then whispered in his ear.
Yes, uncomfortable, yes, stunned, yes, relentless.
Comey's precise memos will hopefully point the special counselor to the truth on the entire Russian matter at the heart of Trump's behavior and presidency.
Yes, uncomfortable, yes, stunned, yes, relentless.
Comey's precise memos will hopefully point the special counselor to the truth on the entire Russian matter at the heart of Trump's behavior and presidency.
45
Spot on observation, but the Republicans (majority of whom are men) are still circling the wagons in Trump's defense. Every citizen that has concerns needs to call or write their Senator or Congressman or woman and express their outrage. Only when Republicans feel the pressure and are concerned for their own seat in government will they act to remedy the disaster we have in the White House.
52
Amazing perspective. I'll readily admit that because Director Comey is not female, that this correlation was the last thing I would of thought. Given this well written article's ability to, without fail, place Director Comey in comparable situations women face daily, I now view this president differently. And as a male, I'm now educated even more about the powerful ways people with power wield it. Thank you!
116
Having worked in both the legislative and executive branches, I can tell you that this is spot on. I could regale you with stories of these types of interactions all day.The fact that Trump has admitted to being a serial sexual harasser made it was obvious he had the moves down and they were transferable.
3
Brilliant. Thanks. I wish you had pondered whether this was candle lit and tossed in a Shakespearean reference or two. But brilliant.
17
As an older, white male I thank you so much for sharing this perspective.
I, for one, needed to read it.
I, for one, needed to read it.
103
Amazing perspective that as a male I had not even thought about. But in James Comey's description of the moment in that dinner in which he found himself paralyzed by the affront, this take amplifies the sinister undercurrents swirling around the victim of which I intrinsically had a vague sense as Mr. Comey was talking about it.
64
This is what Social Darwinism looks like. Winners/Losers. Bullies/Bullied. Healthy/Sick(dying young). Rich/Everyone Else. Master/Slave(wage slave for now but for how long?). Harassers/Harassed.
This is the Republican agenda of Social Darwinism coming to fruition.
This is the Republican agenda of Social Darwinism coming to fruition.
74
Great insight. I totally saw what you saw, having been in that boat before, treated just as Comey had, but both male and female supervisors and bosses. One's only recourse is to start keeping a diary and hope you never have to show it to anyone. Thank you for this piece. It helps us to identify how predatory behaviors have been driven underground, but they still terrorize. They even terrorize the Director of the FBI!
82
Mr Comey is a bigger man than most and even Mr Trump, also a big man, has to literally look up to him.
I don't think any man of Mr Comey's size is easily intimidated and while he may in some way be surprised to have Mr Trump as his governmental superior I doubt he was cowed in any way.
Mr Trump and Mr Comey are both grown men with sufficient experience that neither will openly tip their hand.
While Mr Trump certainly appeared to have wanted something he was smart enough not to openly ask for a favor, at least in front of witnesses.
Thie Democrats should be careful this doesn't take on the appearance of a tempest in a teapot with Mr Trump and the Republicans walking away cleaner than when this began.
I don't think any man of Mr Comey's size is easily intimidated and while he may in some way be surprised to have Mr Trump as his governmental superior I doubt he was cowed in any way.
Mr Trump and Mr Comey are both grown men with sufficient experience that neither will openly tip their hand.
While Mr Trump certainly appeared to have wanted something he was smart enough not to openly ask for a favor, at least in front of witnesses.
Thie Democrats should be careful this doesn't take on the appearance of a tempest in a teapot with Mr Trump and the Republicans walking away cleaner than when this began.
2
No worries, Ian, no worries. Dealing with Trump is like dealing with the Mafia. Es beschmust direckt.
7
I find it interesting how people can see a work of art from so many different points of view. It seems this thought applies to interpreting behavior as well. I clearly agree that Trump's behavior was inappropriate and predatory. I can understand why a man might question this, but remember Director Comey was accustomed to polite behavior, the basic rules of society. Comey had what one would call " intuitive knowledge" of the President's intentions from the beginning of their meetings. Later he found it was more than intuitive, the President wanted something from him - to give up the investigation into Flynn.
21
Being taller affords little protection when faced with the awesome powers of the presidency in the hands of an abuser. Isolated by Trump during that cozy dinner, Comey wisely retreated and fought back from his position of strength -- his knowledge of how our system of justice works.
8
Trump is an abusive man.
He has been taught by the king of abusers Roy Cohn!
He utilizes Coercive Control over his human interactions.
Melaina Trump displays extreme anger and frustration when she must be with him.
I doubt she would have stayed if he had not got elected.
He has no character.
But unless republican. Get real and moral he will destroy us and make us all abuse victims on world stage proportions until he pushes the bomb button.
Only a matter of time.
He has been taught by the king of abusers Roy Cohn!
He utilizes Coercive Control over his human interactions.
Melaina Trump displays extreme anger and frustration when she must be with him.
I doubt she would have stayed if he had not got elected.
He has no character.
But unless republican. Get real and moral he will destroy us and make us all abuse victims on world stage proportions until he pushes the bomb button.
Only a matter of time.
11
I had a similar sense of creepiness yesterday. Trump's words are eerily like those of a sexual predator. A long time ago, on my first job, I had a creepy boss. I told my trusted colleagues - please don't leave me alone with him ever. My boss also said "we have a thing" and "nobody would understand what I'm saying but you." The point that this drives home for me is that this type of behavior indicates that Trump shows the classic pattern of an abuser.
88
Remember his prowling around on the debate stage behind and on either side of Mrs. Clinton? Creepy.
2
Yes, yes, and yes,again. I'd like to know how many of those senators would have been able to resist Trump as well as Comey did in a similar situation.
45
good point - maybe a lot of senators have not been able to resist Trump and have been compromised -- and now have a "thing" with Trump.
5
When I heard Comey's testimony regarding the intimate dinner my mind instantly flew to a situation my daughter encountered when she was a college student home on vacation. A lifelong friend of hers invited her over to the place where he was housesitting, telling her that others would be there too. When she arrived, it was just the two of them and the predictable happened. Fortunately their long-standing friendship prevented anything significant from occurring, but she was and still is, years and years later, shocked by the attempt. Poor James Comey. What a world.
26
Thank you for putting into words what I have been thinking. I kept waiting for them to ask Mr. Comey what he was wearing.
126
From the moment I saw that picture of Trump "kissing" Comey, I could think only of one thing: Judas kiss!
58
Maybe Comey was doing the same thing to Hillary Clinton by bringing up the emails that were already behind her at a crucial time in the election. There was plenty of Russian involvement to expose.
12
This does not ring true. There was no previous kissing up
1
It is not just sexual harassment. For me who was a victim of bullying by a member of upper management it also brought back memories. Afraid of phone calls, the " I hope you.." to start threatening requests, the familiarity in front of other people, the character assassination (Comey via TV, me via emails to all), the firing via someone else etc. etc. But people like that have usually a long list of victims. I wonder who in the Trump organisation was obliged like I was to sign a promise of not suing in order to get a decent severance. I am sure Mr Comey is far than alone. Good that he could come forward.
59
Apt analogy--the situations are the same; the reactions are the same.
41
Thank you for this excellent editorial dealing so effectively with culture , atmosphere, sub-text. Words are only 10-20% of the communication , the other 80% - private dinner , at the White House , two key advisers asked to " give us privacy" . I hope you will do this for me , incidentlly I am the President of the United States.
58
When people in power use their position to try and intimidate, it is harassment, sexual or otherwise. Sadly, not impeachable on its face. Jail, however . . .
28
Trump was a spoiled brat who was allowed to bully his nannies, kick his music teacher, and do whatever he pleased. He later avoided the Vietnam draft via fake bone spurs documented by a quack doctor. He has used his money to buy influence. His "gimme hats" were bribes via promises of factory jobs which went to Mexico; Carrier kept approx. 1,000 jobs for the engineers needed to run the robotics which replaced human workers. He did the same thing in West Va. He is a grifter, a liar, a damaged human being. He did not manage to fool our allies in Europe. If we withdraw from NATO, Europe will go on; they will develop the military they need. They do not need an American boor to run their governments, or their military. If his tax cuts for the already rich decimates what is left of the middle class, he will lose the foundation of the United States. He is 70 yrs. old and will die before his terrible policies take a final toll. His sons are predators; his daughter is a predator. The whole Drumpft family derives from a German draft dodger, a crooked real estate developer. Corruption is in their DNA.
1
I found it repulsive that Comey, a man in a position of power himself could react in such a weak submissive way. My initial response to hearing his testimony was that he was like a teenager with no self confidence. Grow up and take charge of your life! He deserved to be fired.
4
Have YOU ever been coerced by the POTOS? I didn't think so.
42
Comey's reaction during that cozy dinner may appear weak and submissive, but only in the moment. In fact, when faced by the awesome powers of the presidency in the hands of an abuser, Comey wisely retreated and fought back from his position of strength, which is his knowledge of how our system of justice works. And look at the result. Donald now has not only Comey to contend with, but investigations by Special Counsel Mueller and Congress, and a world of bad press.
274
Honest people are often taken by surprise situations that would compromise them personally and professionally. Are you saying he should have known the POTUS would behave like this and he should have been prepared? This involves a superior that you expect to behave ethically. Your characterization of Mr. Comey as "weak" implies you believe a confrontation was the solution. If Comey had spoken the word 'coercion' outright, Trump would have denied that's what he was doing and then continued to press for what he wanted. Or Comey would have been fired immediately. Instead Comey did what many people do in that situation-try to deflect the unwanted attention or inappropriate request, keep doing his job and hope it would end there. Or do you think 'he was asking for it'? The real question is - if Trump wasn't under investigation, and he was warned repeatedly that Flynn was compromised, why insert himself into a situation that would have been resolved without involving him directly? Fire Flynn with your personal regrets and go about your business. Let the FBI do the job. Consider this: ìf Trump believes the FBI should serve him in this fashion then he could just as easily believe the FBI is a tool to target enemies. Checks and balances are there for a reason.
12
I am probably saying nothing new here, after nearly 600 previous comments.
But I still want to comment, if only to say that I think this editorial opinion is a very original, startling but "oh my god why have I never seen it that way" text.
It is not obvious to consider the interaction between two men of considerable power in awkward confrontations along the lines of sexual harassment.
But if you strip the narrative of sexes and genders, yes, then the pattern is there. Glaringly so.
Mr Trump casting himself as the alpha male who thinks he owns the tribe, can help us understand so much in his behaviour (also the aggressive handshakes, the push-aside of others, the looming over adversaries).
But I still want to comment, if only to say that I think this editorial opinion is a very original, startling but "oh my god why have I never seen it that way" text.
It is not obvious to consider the interaction between two men of considerable power in awkward confrontations along the lines of sexual harassment.
But if you strip the narrative of sexes and genders, yes, then the pattern is there. Glaringly so.
Mr Trump casting himself as the alpha male who thinks he owns the tribe, can help us understand so much in his behaviour (also the aggressive handshakes, the push-aside of others, the looming over adversaries).
106
Notice the white knuckles on Trump's hand!
When Comey was being asked repeatedly if he could think of any situation where "hope" meant a clear directive, I immediately thought, "hello, sexual harassment!" How comforting is was to wake up and read this. Interesting that many male comments say they hadn't made the connection before. Can the EEOC compel Trump to give Comey his job back?
56
Spot on. It does not matter that Comey is a very tall man. What matters is that he was immobilized, shocked by the assault on his morality, and he sat there, mind racing, on what to say (or not to say) to get out of the situation. Perfect description.
89
Being a big make, this might have been even more disconcerting for Comey. Women, smaller guys, whoever has less power... we've been there, done that. Likely not something Comey had encountered much before.
3
For sure, Comey is accustomed to polite social behavior. Trump does not practice this type of behavior, i.e. Shoving the Ambassador to Moravia aside to be front and center of the photo.
4
My thoughts exactly, although I could not have expressed them as well. Mr. Trump is a predator to the core. Wake up America. We have been violated, to say the least.
71
Chilling. Difficult for any human being with an ounce of empathy to not relate to Director Comey and likewise to any woman who has been subjected to that type of abuse.
40
Thank you for this enlightening viewpoint. When listening to Mr. Comey's description of these encounters I kept wondering why Trump would try to get what he wanted in such a heavy-handed way. Although I could not identify it, I felt there was some technique that I was missing.
And suddenly, in this Rosetta Stone of an article, it has all been revealed - Trump was using his tried and true tools, abusing his power to gain what he wanted from a less powerful person. We can all see can all see the technique of a predator - the steps to seduction, the display of power by making the person come to him at a moment's notice and by making everyone but the victim leave the room after a meeting; the random calls to remind the victim they are not off the hook, the subtle intimidation transitioning to not so subtle as the abuser thinks he is winning; the then the retaliation, and finally the public humiliation and threats of "tapes" to inoculate himself from complaints if the victim doesn't keep quiet. All laid bare.
I have no doubt this has worked for Trump many, many times in the past. This is our great negotiator. What a despicable human being.
And suddenly, in this Rosetta Stone of an article, it has all been revealed - Trump was using his tried and true tools, abusing his power to gain what he wanted from a less powerful person. We can all see can all see the technique of a predator - the steps to seduction, the display of power by making the person come to him at a moment's notice and by making everyone but the victim leave the room after a meeting; the random calls to remind the victim they are not off the hook, the subtle intimidation transitioning to not so subtle as the abuser thinks he is winning; the then the retaliation, and finally the public humiliation and threats of "tapes" to inoculate himself from complaints if the victim doesn't keep quiet. All laid bare.
I have no doubt this has worked for Trump many, many times in the past. This is our great negotiator. What a despicable human being.
119
Wonderful piece. Perhaps the most insightful (and inciteful?) column I've read this year.
43
The NYT is far too liberal in it's views. The paper does not respect the office of the President & such articles where the Times refers to Trump as the "Predator in Chief" only widens the divide in this country.
3
On the contrary, the more one respects the presidency, the more one is compelled to speak out when it is besmirched by its occupant.
79
Disagree-I am not a Trump lover, but he is our President. Give him a chance. If he fails, throw him out in 4 years.
2
I respect the office of the president. That is why I will not tolerate it being misused and degraded by an unprofessional, predatory person. Trump demands that people respect him because he is unable to earn respect. The most noble presidents served America. They did not behave like entitled princes.
Americans should hold the office of the Presidency to the highest standards. Preserving those standards is far more important than coddling the demands of a needy, greedy man. If we want better presidential choices in the future, we cannot excuse and elevate this type of behavior. We must have the highest expectations; that is what it means to respect the office of the Presidency.
It is up to Americans now to require our elected officials to uphold the highest standards for every elected and appointed office. THIS is what can unite us.
Americans should hold the office of the Presidency to the highest standards. Preserving those standards is far more important than coddling the demands of a needy, greedy man. If we want better presidential choices in the future, we cannot excuse and elevate this type of behavior. We must have the highest expectations; that is what it means to respect the office of the Presidency.
It is up to Americans now to require our elected officials to uphold the highest standards for every elected and appointed office. THIS is what can unite us.
Ms Serratore has spoken the truth. I listened to the hearings and I understood at the gut level how Mr. Comey froze when he heard Donald Trump speak of loyalty to him. Mr. Comey was stunned, paralyzed. Something happens to the brain while at the same time trying to maintain one's composure. The effect is the the victim feels psychologically violated and disgusted by the attempt at seduction. Trump's perverted mind is on display in this episode.
537
We need to remember that Trump lost the popular vote by 3,000,000 votes. He squeaked into the WH via the Electoral College, a remnant of Reconstruction when former slave States were offered voting rights for slaves; slaves were counted as 2/3 of a person, thus giving the South undeserved voting power. The Northern industrialists still needed Southern cotton. We now need to focus on electing Democrats to Southern governorships and legislatures where they can draw honest voting district lines, eliminating the gerrymandering which sends these Southern dinosaurs to Congress every year. We need to end this voting disgrace in a free Republic. End voter suppression; rural voting venues too distant for old people to use; illegal purges of voting rolls in some States, i.e. Florida. This is the last gasp of a dying Party to cling to power. The GOP is a 21st Century version of the Whig Party.
4
I literally gasped while reading this - the stunning accuracy of this comparison froze me in my tracks. The anguish of Mr. Comey's revelations absolutely read like a stream-of-consciousness mental discussion of a woman who questions her interactions with a predator. Fabulous article!
82
you're dead right! I didn't see it until reading your piece. been there, endured that, wished for a do-over! thanks
22
One could also make a "connection" between how a grad student is treated by his or her professors, or how employees wanting to keep their jobs are treated by employers. There is plenty of instances of "misuse of power" or of coercion in the good ole USA. No need to make it a "feminist" thing unless that simply resonates and has become one's agenda in life.
Better to say that now knowing (as if one didn't already know) Trump was quite friendly with coercive behavior, no one should be surprised that he is a pig. Rhetoric is unnecessary.
Better to say that now knowing (as if one didn't already know) Trump was quite friendly with coercive behavior, no one should be surprised that he is a pig. Rhetoric is unnecessary.
17
Not to detract from the conversation (that Trump is an abuser and has a pathological need for controlling others), the reason there's a difference between what women experience and what men experience in this venue is that when men complain about it, society automatically accords them more credibility.
Getting back on task however, you are correct in noting that many people experience coercive behaviors from abusers in many ways, so why do those abusers keep getting power? It's because we have a tendency to accuse the victim on "bringing it on her/himself" rather than jumping two feet first on the neck of the abuser.
Getting back on task however, you are correct in noting that many people experience coercive behaviors from abusers in many ways, so why do those abusers keep getting power? It's because we have a tendency to accuse the victim on "bringing it on her/himself" rather than jumping two feet first on the neck of the abuser.
"No need to make it a "feminist" thing unless that simply resonates and has become one's agenda in life."
You do realize that it's ok to look at something from a woman's perspective, right? It's not automatically bad to look at something from a woman's perspective? And that there's nothing wrong with feminism? You know that, right? You also know that sexual harassment is most commonly, but not always, perpetuated by men towards women? Because this is SO COMMON and resonates with so many people, the article is effective and illuminating.
What is the point of this pointless adhom?
You do realize that it's ok to look at something from a woman's perspective, right? It's not automatically bad to look at something from a woman's perspective? And that there's nothing wrong with feminism? You know that, right? You also know that sexual harassment is most commonly, but not always, perpetuated by men towards women? Because this is SO COMMON and resonates with so many people, the article is effective and illuminating.
What is the point of this pointless adhom?
1
Is it any surprise that a predatory 'businessman' or CEO would not also be a predatory male, who subjugates women. To him women are one more thing to conquer or own.
16
Although this is an interesting take on how to view the relationship between a "commander" and a "subordinate", when both expect different things from each other. I still think there's something worth mentioning that doesn't fit in this comparison.
Hearing Comey talk about how uncomfortable he was in his meetings with Trump, I cannot stop thinking about the fact that; He had no problem "influencing" the election (let's be honest, he did), he had enough experience in meeting with presidents (Obama, Bush), and he has enough experience with politics when working at the DOJ and FBI.
All these facts make me thing about why Comey wasn't more strict with Trump. The president is more afraid of Comey than vice versa. And he should/would have known that. So why don't act differently..?
Hearing Comey talk about how uncomfortable he was in his meetings with Trump, I cannot stop thinking about the fact that; He had no problem "influencing" the election (let's be honest, he did), he had enough experience in meeting with presidents (Obama, Bush), and he has enough experience with politics when working at the DOJ and FBI.
All these facts make me thing about why Comey wasn't more strict with Trump. The president is more afraid of Comey than vice versa. And he should/would have known that. So why don't act differently..?
6
Obama and Bush, no matter what you think of either, functioned in the realm of a normal human being. Comey, ever the earnest Boy Scout ( protecting that FBI and screwing up the election was part of that tendency of his) had no clue how to deal with predatory behavior. He's a big male. Likely he hasn't dealt with this dynamic much if at all.
9
Similar circumstances with Loretta Lynch if you call it sexual harassment!
3
No one called it sexual harassment. You missed the point.
8
One of the more insightful articles I've read recently ...
20
The exchange between the President and Mr Comey, as detailed in your pages, recalls the exchange between soon-to-be king Macbeth and Banquo in Shakespeare's Scottish play, Act II, sc 1:
Macbeth: If you shall cleave to my consent when 'tis/ It shall make honour for you.
Banquo: So I lose none/In seeking to augment it, but still keep/ My bosom franchis'd and allegiance clear."
Macbeth: If you shall cleave to my consent when 'tis/ It shall make honour for you.
Banquo: So I lose none/In seeking to augment it, but still keep/ My bosom franchis'd and allegiance clear."
9
Oh, yes, in a Facebook post i drew comparisons between Trump and Macbeth. Thank you UK.
Great article - very punchy line about coercive seduction.
13
Yep, good analogy. Except Jim Comey is six foot eight inches tall. I doubt he felt intimidated in the same way a five foot two inch woman would.
5
It's not about physical strength.
9
This is not about physical intimidation, it's about psychological intimidation, ambiguous communication with implied threats and demands that Trump could back out of if he felt the need (I didn't mean it like that, you misinterpreted what I said), and abuse of power. Trump is the president of the United States and was Comey's boss at the time. By the way: Trump is quite large himself and he also has all the means to "solve" the Comey "problem" in a "final" and physical manner. I think Trump would have made his outrageous "request" in an almost off hand, conversational manner, underplaying it's outrageousness, more like planting a post hypnotic suggestion, adding to Comey's confusion. It's how predators operate.
15
I don't think his height is relevant. It was the assault on his morality, conscience, sense of duty, and just being slimed. Height doesn't help, as there was no physical assault, and he could not stand up and tower over djt. In fact, Comey does not appear to be one of those really tall guys that uses his height to intimidate.
12
Nicole, thank you. This resonates. Jim Comey, and I am no fan, seemed ashamed that he did not do more. I hope in his next role he becomes an advocate for workers who have been harassed, as he was, by their employer.
25
Abuse of power -- indeed, abusiveness itself -- knows no gender.
I think it is important to note, it is power, not gender, which is the primary intoxicant for such people. Just like rape is not about sex but domination, these abuses are not about make or female.
I have been stunned over my life at how regularly men in positions of power have felt they have a right, and that it is indeed somehow a virtuous skill, to intimidate and be a predator towards women.
But I have been at the other end of that dynamic myself, and it was not pleasant either.
Power corrupts. That power is so often gendered in society is a historical fact that will, hopefully, disappear.
But if you think that eventual day will mean the end of power's corruption, well, grow up.
I think it is important to note, it is power, not gender, which is the primary intoxicant for such people. Just like rape is not about sex but domination, these abuses are not about make or female.
I have been stunned over my life at how regularly men in positions of power have felt they have a right, and that it is indeed somehow a virtuous skill, to intimidate and be a predator towards women.
But I have been at the other end of that dynamic myself, and it was not pleasant either.
Power corrupts. That power is so often gendered in society is a historical fact that will, hopefully, disappear.
But if you think that eventual day will mean the end of power's corruption, well, grow up.
28
I am sorry, but I am a woman and I listened to the same thing, and I never thought of sexual harassment, although I experienced it many times.
Comey is straight, if anything he was harassed by Loretta Lynch who had ask him to-miss label the criminal investigation into Clinton last year and call it with a name borrowed from the HRC campaign PR: a matter. He complied.
It makes no sense why Comey didn't come out and said there was no investigation into Trump since there was none, and why he didn't correct all the falsehoods about this case that he saw in the press. His silence hurt Trump.
Comey is straight, if anything he was harassed by Loretta Lynch who had ask him to-miss label the criminal investigation into Clinton last year and call it with a name borrowed from the HRC campaign PR: a matter. He complied.
It makes no sense why Comey didn't come out and said there was no investigation into Trump since there was none, and why he didn't correct all the falsehoods about this case that he saw in the press. His silence hurt Trump.
4
Your observations are so right on, Nicole Serratore. Point by point, You reminded me how tough it can be for even a self confident person to recover from similar encounters.
Even after "escaping" such unpleasantness, I've replayed over and over in my mind every moment of the encounter. And, sadly, I'm left asking myself, "What brought that on? What could I have done differently?"
Intimidation and power plays are a bully's favorite weapon.
Even after "escaping" such unpleasantness, I've replayed over and over in my mind every moment of the encounter. And, sadly, I'm left asking myself, "What brought that on? What could I have done differently?"
Intimidation and power plays are a bully's favorite weapon.
35
Sorry found this to ridiculous to comment on but not unexpected from the "we hate Trump" NY Times
4
No, you didn't.
21
Don't mean to be "elitist" but has anyone noticed that pro-Trump comments are usually ungrammatical, and have words spelled wrong? Harry, you found it "TOO" ridiculous. And probably a comma should go in there after the word "on." And a period at the end of a sentence, that helps know when you're finished. Language matters.
I will ask you what I have asked various Trump supporters. "Are you proud?"
So far no one has been, they just say "at least he's not Clinton."
And Harry, you DID comment!
I will ask you what I have asked various Trump supporters. "Are you proud?"
So far no one has been, they just say "at least he's not Clinton."
And Harry, you DID comment!
2
Trump's approach to Comey wasn't substantially different from his attempts to grope women. Most women won't slap the assailant, deserved as it may be, but rather attempt to graciously explicate themselves. Comey couldn't walk away, but attempted to discourage Trump, who apparently understands nuance even less than he is capable of utilizing it.
26
This perfectly describes the immediate visceral reaction I had when I started reading about the hearing.
Almost every woman will relate to this at a personal level. There's no extrapolation. This isn't a forced linking of unrelated issues or some kind of stretched analogy
Thank you.
Almost every woman will relate to this at a personal level. There's no extrapolation. This isn't a forced linking of unrelated issues or some kind of stretched analogy
Thank you.
28
I have to wonder if Comey didn't record all his interactions with Trump himself. I mean, he worked for the FBI. His recollection was word perfect. He even stated that he hoped Trump had a recording. If he's worth his weight in salt, I'd wager he recorded the conversation. He can't bring out a recording because that would be too obvious.
3
Well said. Thank you.
8
This article makes a very persuasive argument that Comey's experiences with Trump follow the a pattern similar to that of sexual harassment of women by men, and it is clear that Trump was using those tactics to sway or coerce Comey to comply with his wishes. That said, Comey himself is hardly a powerless figure, although Trump had the power to hold his job over his head and did so, ultimately of course taking it away from him as a way of expressing his disappointment and displeasure. I was disturbed by the line of questioning in the Senate hearings on Thursday that seemed to suggest that Comey was somehow responsible for Trump's inappropriate advances or did not do enough to stop them, which in itself is an acknowledgment of Trump's wrongdoing. I hope that Comey does not suffer psychologically from his encounters with Trump, whose tactics in this case luckily failed to produce the results he hoped for.
26
Former FBI Chief Comey's strongest testimony to the Senate Intelligence Committee is that this is not a partisan issue.
Putin's Kremlin is attacking western democracy directly and with purpose. If we do not respond now, our nation and our freedom, and all free nations, remain at risk.
Putin is using cyber-warfare to hack private voting registration records, hacking political operations and operatives, bribing elected and appointed officials directly or through state-owned banks, and using an army of Russian trolls to shape public opinion through orchestrated disinformation campaigns.
I suspect the connection to acts of terrorism on the eve of critical western elections is not coincidental either.
Putin went to extraordinary lengths to help Trump win office. Since then, quid pro quo, Trump has been doing Putin's bidding: undermining free trade agreements, the Paris Agreement and the critical NATO alliance that has acted as a counter-weight to Russian aggression since the end of World War II.
Putin has created a mafia state in Russia, a kleptocracy, where graft and corruption, suppression of political dissent and murder of political opponents and journalists are commonplace.
This is a pivotal period in history:
Does the NATO alliance respond to Putin's aggression?
Will GOP "leaders" choose to continue to support an incompetent, corrupt, inveterate liar advocating pro-Kremlin positions and undermine the security apparatus of every Western ally?
Putin's Kremlin is attacking western democracy directly and with purpose. If we do not respond now, our nation and our freedom, and all free nations, remain at risk.
Putin is using cyber-warfare to hack private voting registration records, hacking political operations and operatives, bribing elected and appointed officials directly or through state-owned banks, and using an army of Russian trolls to shape public opinion through orchestrated disinformation campaigns.
I suspect the connection to acts of terrorism on the eve of critical western elections is not coincidental either.
Putin went to extraordinary lengths to help Trump win office. Since then, quid pro quo, Trump has been doing Putin's bidding: undermining free trade agreements, the Paris Agreement and the critical NATO alliance that has acted as a counter-weight to Russian aggression since the end of World War II.
Putin has created a mafia state in Russia, a kleptocracy, where graft and corruption, suppression of political dissent and murder of political opponents and journalists are commonplace.
This is a pivotal period in history:
Does the NATO alliance respond to Putin's aggression?
Will GOP "leaders" choose to continue to support an incompetent, corrupt, inveterate liar advocating pro-Kremlin positions and undermine the security apparatus of every Western ally?
25
Mueller will eventually get Trump's tax records; he will expose those Russian loans to a bankrupt Trump via Deutsche Bank. He will expose Putin's hold over Trump via financial obligations. Trump and Jared ought to be very worried right now; they are crooks, and they know they are crooks.
It's not all about you and your social causes.
1
I love you Times, truly I do, but can we SERIOUSLY put a stop to this "any woman" thing?
Stop telling me what I'm thinking because I have a vagina and so do you. I DID NOT THINK OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT ONCE DURING THIS HEARING. It's not because it's never happened to me and it's not because I'm less of a woman than you are. We are, I thought we made this clear ages ago, simply not a monolith, and what offends me more than anything, and what I get, on a regular basis, more often than any dismissive treatment from men, is women telling me what I should *obviously* feel. Please stop parading your own feelings and associations around as though they're some universal default.
Stop telling me what I'm thinking because I have a vagina and so do you. I DID NOT THINK OF SEXUAL HARASSMENT ONCE DURING THIS HEARING. It's not because it's never happened to me and it's not because I'm less of a woman than you are. We are, I thought we made this clear ages ago, simply not a monolith, and what offends me more than anything, and what I get, on a regular basis, more often than any dismissive treatment from men, is women telling me what I should *obviously* feel. Please stop parading your own feelings and associations around as though they're some universal default.
8
Sarah, I am a woman to whom this thought had also never occurred. But when I read this article and its comments, I thought By George, they've got it.
I learned what I hadn't seen myself. I am insufficiently social to get myself into situations to be harassed very often. I'm usually already on the sidelines. But I can see how it goes when you are trying to keep your feet under yourself when you are in the thick of things. Im sorry that you get harassed by people who tell you what you think, in this case fellow women.
I learned what I hadn't seen myself. I am insufficiently social to get myself into situations to be harassed very often. I'm usually already on the sidelines. But I can see how it goes when you are trying to keep your feet under yourself when you are in the thick of things. Im sorry that you get harassed by people who tell you what you think, in this case fellow women.
Oh, I didn't think sexual harassment. I did however think abuse. Abuse follows similar patterns, but is wider spread.
Brilliant article. EXACTLY what I was struck by listening to Comey this morning. Reminding me of my own awkward backing out of situations I just didn't want to be in. It was fascinating to watch one of the most powerful men in the world (Director of the FBI!) describing being confused, doubting himself, and stunned into silence by being manipulated by a man of greater power. Now - add the gender factor with a woman and there you have it ! - the humiliation and degradation of sexual harassment. Thank you Nicole - this is a very important exposure of the subtle dynamics of predatory domination.
31
This is nothing to do with sexual discrimination. This is the testimony of a poor incompetent loser. He loved to grandstand and play the big shot. Comey was not a good leader and I am glad the Mr. Trump fired him. The new director is extremely competent with an impeccable background. I say there is a security job waiting for him at one of our fine casinos here in Las Vegas. He may not be able to pass the background check.
3
Thank you! For putting into words what I intuitively knew. When one Senator was discussing 45's use of the word 'hope' in its academic definition, I immediately disagreed: 45 was using the word hope as a euphemism for 'demand' or 'command'. This was apparent to me, but I wondered why the Senator and the media were even debating this....because it is so clear to me as a woman--this sort of thing happens ALL THE TIME. Women are expert at reading the implications of words and actions, simply because we have to be good at it. James Comey: I thank you for showing how it is and what it feels like to be a woman EVERYDAY.
45 is a predator. He preys on everyone. He is preying on the people of the US for his own good. We must get rid of the predator.
45 is a predator. He preys on everyone. He is preying on the people of the US for his own good. We must get rid of the predator.
24
Right on! I had exactly this same response and told it to my husband who has never experienced workplace sexual harassment as I have. Especially the statement "... we had that thing" chilled me. Comey's reaction mirrored mine, and I suspect many women's, who are left speechless and venerable following this kind of unexpected encounter. And then Sen. McCain wondered aloud what was meant by "that thing" - he hasn't been there so he wouldn't know. That thing is the prize the winner takes home, leaving the loser without pride or control over their own self-determination. Cosby, Ailes, Trump, male or female - I applaud Comey for his courage to speak truth.
18
Out of all the ridiculous media coverage on this administration, this may be the most insane comparisons of a legitimate news story I've seen to date. This is more revealing to your bias against the President than anything else. Stick to critiquing theater, that definitely suits you better.
You must consider the fact that Mr. Comey was being very misleading in his opinions because he is trying to distort the facts. He has over 25 years of experience in Washington DC politics. He's hardly new on the scene. Everyone is propping this guy up like he's Woody from Toy Story. He's hardly that at all and if you take the time to do your research you would come to a very obvious conclusion that Mr. Comey again played his special brand of politics on the hill and now it seems clear that he's less Woody and more so J. Edgar Hoover. He can't be a hero one month and a zero the next. You can't just see him as credible on Trump and not HRC and vice versa. He's either credible or not. He has a history of playing politics and now admittedly leaking confidential information to the NYT.
That being said, if you were indeed a victim of such an act, I am very sympathetic because that is indeed a real ongoing problem in the workplace. I wish you had chosen your framework to cover the story more wisely to raise the serious concerns that many share. The way this article is framed makes light of something very serious and I'd hope in the future you would raise awareness with the platform you have.
You must consider the fact that Mr. Comey was being very misleading in his opinions because he is trying to distort the facts. He has over 25 years of experience in Washington DC politics. He's hardly new on the scene. Everyone is propping this guy up like he's Woody from Toy Story. He's hardly that at all and if you take the time to do your research you would come to a very obvious conclusion that Mr. Comey again played his special brand of politics on the hill and now it seems clear that he's less Woody and more so J. Edgar Hoover. He can't be a hero one month and a zero the next. You can't just see him as credible on Trump and not HRC and vice versa. He's either credible or not. He has a history of playing politics and now admittedly leaking confidential information to the NYT.
That being said, if you were indeed a victim of such an act, I am very sympathetic because that is indeed a real ongoing problem in the workplace. I wish you had chosen your framework to cover the story more wisely to raise the serious concerns that many share. The way this article is framed makes light of something very serious and I'd hope in the future you would raise awareness with the platform you have.
6
I absolutely believe Comey's statements about Trump's attempts at coercion. But to liken his reactions and feelings to those of a subordinate and helpless female employee faced with sexual harassment is absolutely offensive and demeaning to women who have actually dealt with sexual harassment and sexual assault in the workplace or elsewhere, including Trump's countless victims. Give me a break.
Mr. Comey is a 6 foot 8 inch career prosecutor and FBI agent; along with that history comes a comfortable retirement package and years of experience dealing with criminals and predators of all sorts. It's ridiculous to suggest that he was intimidated or personally frightened by the prospect of dealing with a bombastic buffoon like Trump.
I found the portion of Comey's testimony regarding his reasons for not confronting Trump to be disingenuous. As a former prosecutor and director of the FBI, he may have decided to play along to see how much Trump would incriminate himself or others around him. More likely, I think Comey the career political animal thought that he could still walk a tightrope and keep his position. I think his own self-interest and sense of self-importance handicapped him in dealing with the situation. If the whole investigation tanks and Trump gets away with selling out US interests to Putin, responsibility will largely rest on Comey's large shoulders and his misplaced focus on himself at the expense of citizens who relied on him to protect our interests.
Mr. Comey is a 6 foot 8 inch career prosecutor and FBI agent; along with that history comes a comfortable retirement package and years of experience dealing with criminals and predators of all sorts. It's ridiculous to suggest that he was intimidated or personally frightened by the prospect of dealing with a bombastic buffoon like Trump.
I found the portion of Comey's testimony regarding his reasons for not confronting Trump to be disingenuous. As a former prosecutor and director of the FBI, he may have decided to play along to see how much Trump would incriminate himself or others around him. More likely, I think Comey the career political animal thought that he could still walk a tightrope and keep his position. I think his own self-interest and sense of self-importance handicapped him in dealing with the situation. If the whole investigation tanks and Trump gets away with selling out US interests to Putin, responsibility will largely rest on Comey's large shoulders and his misplaced focus on himself at the expense of citizens who relied on him to protect our interests.
5
I've seen a few comments of the "Comey is too experienced/powerful to feel victimized in this situation," and as someone who has been on the receiving end of predatory sexual behavior, this analogy has been dead on to the kind of internal monologue that happens throughout the life of these encounters. That also includes, every time, a stream of well meaning people asking, "well what exactly did you do? Why didn't you say this with he did/said this? Why did you choose that particular thing, he may have been able to read it as 'X'," etc. That is often the most hurtful part of the whole encounter, feeling as though you are required to defend your logic and stunned/confused in-the-moment reactions with the same cool clarity as someone asking hypothetical questions from a non-threatening setting after the fact. The situation only requires a relative power differential. To most people, Comey may be a very powerful man. But it only takes someone with greater power to create the same dynamic.
4
Thanks for having the intestinal fortitude to speak out against this biased and self serving analysis.
I especially enjoyed your remarks about how the 'former prosecutor decided to play along to see how much Trump would incriminate himself'.
Speaking of well honed coercive tactics....
I especially enjoyed your remarks about how the 'former prosecutor decided to play along to see how much Trump would incriminate himself'.
Speaking of well honed coercive tactics....
Took me back many, many years ago to being in a similar situation as a young woman out of graduate school. I felt like a deer caught in headlights by the "opportunity" I was being "offered" if I gave the "right response." I gave the wrong response and was out of a job within days.....
13
I'm so glad you wrote this article. That is exactly what I was feeling when I read Comey's statements and why it was so obvious to me why he did not tell Trump to back off more forcefully. It also saddened but did not surprise me that the other powerful men in the room didn't feel it or understand it. In truth, I suspect they did understand it but did not want to admit to themselves they could also face a similar "assault" by a person more powerful then themselves.
13
IMO, all the honchos in the Republican Party are embedded in this predatory system. Chris Christie is a fine example--a bully to his subordinates, and a toady to Trump. Those who condemned Trump during the long election season hastened to kiss his nether parts once he'd sealed the nomination.
Interesting that so many of my fellow citizens--including men--are willing to stand up and say they believe the 6'5" male James Comey. I don't think Anita Hill got that kind of support, except from already committed feminists.
Interesting that so many of my fellow citizens--including men--are willing to stand up and say they believe the 6'5" male James Comey. I don't think Anita Hill got that kind of support, except from already committed feminists.
13
I am not sure how James Comey would like being compared to a woman...however I get the analogy. And yes, it gives me the creeps. A man who got his own way his whole life figured he would have his way with Comey as well and greedily wrapped him in his ravenous claws...to consume him and save him for his later use as he demanded "loyalty" from him. He knew he was doing wrong- that's why he sent others out of the room...let them not catch me in the act- forbidden, naughty behavior eclipsed from others' view behind the privacy of closed doors. I have to go throw-up now..
15
I thought of the same analogy and pattern when hearing M. Comey repeatedly say "I don't want to be alone in the room with him".
10
Oh this is the creepiest side of Donald Trump.
Most women know exactly what Donald Trump is like.
Most women know exactly what Donald Trump is like.
10
I didn't imagine it possible to find a sexist/racist/homophobic angle in a story about two rich and powerful white men but yeah let's make this about sexual harassment. That's what's important here.
Just because you personally can't relate to the situation Comey found himself in, doesn't make the perspective of the author wrong. Sadly, many folks can relate to the power dynamic that played out between Comey and Trump, and for many it is precisely in the context of a sexual harassment, which is why it's resonating with so many commenters. Count yourself lucky if it hasn't happened to you.
21
Sexual harassment is only partly about sex - although that's a nice by product for the person foisting him/herself upon a subordinate (and lots of men think ANY woman is a subordinate). It is about power, and being on top, and sometimes about humiliation. 80 year old women are raped, hardly sex symbols. That's about power and domination and usually topped off with a lot of contempt for letting oneself get overcome. Read some rape trial transcripts and it will be revealed unto you.
1
Myron, many people who have experienced sexual harassment definitely recognize this classic pattern of predatory behavior. If you've never been subjected to that form of abuse of power then you may lack the ability to recognize it. (If you are in the habit of misusing power for your personal gain, we don't give a whit about your need to avoid recognition of the behavior pattern). But assuming you just innocently lack context, its important to understand this isn't about sex. It IS about a certain type of modus operandi used by some people who abuse power. Since you mentioned "rich and powerful" perhaps you can use whatever experience you have with that to try to understand the author's point. A lot of men who are commenting here have been able to do that. If you have no relatable experiences at all, than you're not really in a position to judge the veracity of the author's assertions.
There are times when connecting certain dots or comparing one thing to another can seem like a bit of a stretch. This isn't one of those times. You're spot on, Nicole Serratore. Today on some CNN round table thing with Anderson Cooper, they were talking about the hearing and whether Comey should have immediately told the Justice Dept. about what Trump said. Why didn't he act immediately? And I just thought, "It's like when someone says something so inappropriate that you simply have no idea how to react, so you just freeze up and wish later that you'd had the nerve to say something back." This typically happens when the thing that's said is obscene or crude. The two guys on the left (I don't know who they were, but you could tell they supported Trump) were wondering why Comey didn't "man up" and report it immediately. Such an insensitive response. It's amazing how certain types of people will always support the perpetrator and place the blame on the victim. Anyway, thanks for writing this article.
18
Trump plays hardball to get loyalty oaths. That's obvious, but Trump and his apologists further pretend that he gets to live in a world of his own making, like "The Apprentice", where Trump is omnipotent. No, he is not omnipotent in the public service domain.
Of Trump's loyalty test, Ms Serratore says: "There you hear the eternal voice of the predatory seducer: the man who knows how hard he can make it for a woman to refuse his needs."
I do not disagree that great parallels with sexual harassment are in Trump's loyalty tests. However, I think the ownership of a subject's loyalty is foremost the objective of the insidious tyrant.
If an insidious tyrant can 'bed' a new protégé and begin their control by controlling "the secret", then the tyrant has what he/she wants most, absolute fealty for spying, reporting, and doing exactly as instructed. Those enslaved by their fealty cannot interact with the outside world as a forthright professional, but what does the tyrant care about "professionalism"?
It's not even necessary for the secret to be sexual, the protégé just has to be utterly under control.
AND, the most sinister aspect, is that our new world of death-by-defunding and rebirth-thru-privatization, is attempting to end public institutions where there are protections and where careers can thrive. And replace them with the owned franchise, where favors are granted and where managers can use every sort of tyrannical control on the protégé, your daughter/son. Wake up.
Of Trump's loyalty test, Ms Serratore says: "There you hear the eternal voice of the predatory seducer: the man who knows how hard he can make it for a woman to refuse his needs."
I do not disagree that great parallels with sexual harassment are in Trump's loyalty tests. However, I think the ownership of a subject's loyalty is foremost the objective of the insidious tyrant.
If an insidious tyrant can 'bed' a new protégé and begin their control by controlling "the secret", then the tyrant has what he/she wants most, absolute fealty for spying, reporting, and doing exactly as instructed. Those enslaved by their fealty cannot interact with the outside world as a forthright professional, but what does the tyrant care about "professionalism"?
It's not even necessary for the secret to be sexual, the protégé just has to be utterly under control.
AND, the most sinister aspect, is that our new world of death-by-defunding and rebirth-thru-privatization, is attempting to end public institutions where there are protections and where careers can thrive. And replace them with the owned franchise, where favors are granted and where managers can use every sort of tyrannical control on the protégé, your daughter/son. Wake up.
19
Comey claims that Trump was trying to intimidate him. Trump threatened to fire him if he didn't back off the investigation.
Trump says he didn't.
And yet! Trump attempted to intimidate Comey into silence by saying "Comey better hope there are no tapes."
This of course was a bluff by a mental midget. Comey was never worried about tapes because he knew he gave an accurate recitation of the facts as he remembered them. Think about it - if you lie as often as Trump does, the last thing you want is a recording of what you said.
The fact is that Comey has worked for years in New York and DC. Trump is a notorious liar. Law firms that have done work for Trump have frequently not been paid. There is an established "Trump Protocol" among New York Attorneys. You have to get paid up front and you neve meet with him alone. Comey knew exactly what to expect from Trump and of course Trump performed. Sadly, he is all too predictable.
Personally, I don't think Trump should be impeached for this. He is just getting started. There will be plenty of more dramatic reasons to impeach him going forward.
Still, it is staggering that Republicans who were so eager to impeach President Clinton for lying are suddenly so comfortable with the serial lying of Trump.
Trump says he didn't.
And yet! Trump attempted to intimidate Comey into silence by saying "Comey better hope there are no tapes."
This of course was a bluff by a mental midget. Comey was never worried about tapes because he knew he gave an accurate recitation of the facts as he remembered them. Think about it - if you lie as often as Trump does, the last thing you want is a recording of what you said.
The fact is that Comey has worked for years in New York and DC. Trump is a notorious liar. Law firms that have done work for Trump have frequently not been paid. There is an established "Trump Protocol" among New York Attorneys. You have to get paid up front and you neve meet with him alone. Comey knew exactly what to expect from Trump and of course Trump performed. Sadly, he is all too predictable.
Personally, I don't think Trump should be impeached for this. He is just getting started. There will be plenty of more dramatic reasons to impeach him going forward.
Still, it is staggering that Republicans who were so eager to impeach President Clinton for lying are suddenly so comfortable with the serial lying of Trump.
7
First I thought the analogy was far fetched. But the author's nailed it!
10
I found it ironic that a woman, Senator Diane Feinstein of California, should use reverse sexism in calling out that Comey was a big and strong man, so why didn't he draw a clear boundary for Trump. Comey, despite his gender and size, was in the place of expected submission by the dominant President, who felt that he wielded dominance over him, so that unlawfully he could make him acquiesce to his demands. Comey was on a "date" with a powerful predator who tried to undermine his morals but was unsuccessful. Comedy has managed to keep his dignity intact but not so this low life liar.
9
Brilliant, cogent analogy,
7
Trump is just a real creep what a world wide embarrassment
Well written and to the point thank you keep it up NYT "all the news that's fit to print"
Well written and to the point thank you keep it up NYT "all the news that's fit to print"
8
Exactly what I thought of as I heard the testimony this morning. "I wish I'd been stronger".....words that echo in the ears of so many women....the frozen face....the stunned silence.....all part of the power intimidation of the harasser. No matter how physically imposing you are, if you are not in the "power position" in a relationship, this is coercion, plain and simple.....the intimate dinner, the "hug",.....very, very icky.
14
When a brazen sexual predator and liar is given the highest position in this country, is it any wonder that the FBI director would be stunned into saying "honest loyalty" and then leaving the scene to document the incident.
It is exactly what many women feel and do when confronted by a man that has power over them and Mr. Trump was given the job even after the tape of his comments was made public and more than a dozen women stepped forward to corroborate that he did indeed touch them without their consent.
It says volumes about the state of morality and ethics in this country that he is the President and it tells our children who we are and what we value. Mr. Trump believes he can do and say anything he wants and his apologists in the GOP and the right wing media go along in lockstep.
This is a shameful chapter that is being written in the history of this great country,
It is exactly what many women feel and do when confronted by a man that has power over them and Mr. Trump was given the job even after the tape of his comments was made public and more than a dozen women stepped forward to corroborate that he did indeed touch them without their consent.
It says volumes about the state of morality and ethics in this country that he is the President and it tells our children who we are and what we value. Mr. Trump believes he can do and say anything he wants and his apologists in the GOP and the right wing media go along in lockstep.
This is a shameful chapter that is being written in the history of this great country,
13
Very perceptive, and right on the money. Now shift this perspective one more move.
How do such men present this behavior to other men? The bragging on the
Access Hollywood tape displays that presentation. But here's the thing: it's one thing to brag and another to do. Most braggarts are liars (and that was Trump's defense,"locker room talk", that he was a liar!) but some walk the walk. As this column shows, women recognize these men, and still get trapped. Men recognize them too because the aggressive love to brag. About their conquests yes, but also about their daring which makes the conquests possible and frequent.
Daring means being willing to go so close to transgression that you sometimes cross the line. It's dangerous and inevitable if you are going to go so close to the edge, but exciting and rewarding. To the less adventurous, the envious, the unethical aggressor will seem unfairly successful. To those PCs, the losers, the predators implicitly say: I'm brave. I took the risk, psychological and maybe even legal. But look at what I got. There's only so many 10s around. Look at how I've done with them. How you doing? When you're 70, how's your lady looking?
Same of course, man to man, in business. You trick, you say this and mean that, find their weakness, check with the lawyers so they cover your back. And the real estate taxes and bankruptcy laws are pretty sweet.
But government! Hypocrites and do-gooders playing gotcha and lying to a lying press.
How do such men present this behavior to other men? The bragging on the
Access Hollywood tape displays that presentation. But here's the thing: it's one thing to brag and another to do. Most braggarts are liars (and that was Trump's defense,"locker room talk", that he was a liar!) but some walk the walk. As this column shows, women recognize these men, and still get trapped. Men recognize them too because the aggressive love to brag. About their conquests yes, but also about their daring which makes the conquests possible and frequent.
Daring means being willing to go so close to transgression that you sometimes cross the line. It's dangerous and inevitable if you are going to go so close to the edge, but exciting and rewarding. To the less adventurous, the envious, the unethical aggressor will seem unfairly successful. To those PCs, the losers, the predators implicitly say: I'm brave. I took the risk, psychological and maybe even legal. But look at what I got. There's only so many 10s around. Look at how I've done with them. How you doing? When you're 70, how's your lady looking?
Same of course, man to man, in business. You trick, you say this and mean that, find their weakness, check with the lawyers so they cover your back. And the real estate taxes and bankruptcy laws are pretty sweet.
But government! Hypocrites and do-gooders playing gotcha and lying to a lying press.
2
Well timed article. When I listed to the testimony today, especially how Comey found himself alone sitting at a small oval table for dinner with Trump, I thought this sounds like he's about to get raped or something. I guess, it is this mindset of claiming dominance. It's pretty repulsive all around. And I'm glad I read this perspective.
12
I have a friend who worked with Mr. Comey, and has stated that he is one of the most ethical, moral person's they have ever worked with; and found it exceedingly painful to watch as this president and his administration have sought to impugn his record and reputation. We have a man in the White House who so obviously has none of the character of Comey. As time goes on, it becomes readily apparent that any person with any shred of integrity will become defamed by the man at the top. Long past time to move to remove #45.
10
Trump can't even get legitimate, respectable law firms to represent him. He doesn't pay his bills; and now any association will leave a permanent stain. Trump is done; he is exposed as the grifter, crook and bully he has always been.
I cannot fathom a man so powerful, so versed in crime, politics, psychology and subterfuge as James Comey - fully stunned, deer-in-headlights agog by President con-man Donald Trump. Our dear leader is not smart, but he is an absolute savant bully...off the charts. So much truth per word in this column, it hits like a shot.
8
I'm not sure of the need to conflate Comey's testimony with sexual harassment. By the very fact that he had an opportunity to publicly testify it seems to make his situation quite different. I think that the issues raised by Comey's testimony are serious and need to stand on their own and be investigated in a non-partisan fashion. Comey gave me additional confidence that this will happen. By conflating Comey's serious charges with other injustices it seems like a partisan attempt by the NYT to start a Trump bashfest. It should be about the constitution and the rule of law not a partisan political attempt to vilify.
1
Spot on!
This is the best description of Predator Trump. He has no boundaries.
Heaven help us all.
This is the best description of Predator Trump. He has no boundaries.
Heaven help us all.
10
I just want to know: Did Trump send flowers to Comey the day after having dinner with him, with a note saying, "You were great last night; let's do it again soon".
2
There are times when connecting certain dots or comparing one thing to another can seem like a bit of a stretch. This isn't one of those times. You're spot on, Nicole Serratore. Today on some CNN round table thing with Anderson Cooper, they were talking about the hearing and whether Comey should have immediately told the Justice Dept. about what Trump said. Why didn't he act immediately? And I just thought, "It's like when someone says something so inappropriate that you simply have no idea how to react, so you just freeze up and wish later that you'd had the nerve to say something back." This typically happens when the thing that's said is obscene or crude. The two guys on the left (I don't know who they were, but you could tell they supported Trump) were wondering why Comey didn't "man up" and report it immediately. Such an insensitive response. It's amazing how certain types of people will always support the perpetrator and place the blame on the victim. Anyway, thanks for writing this article.
4
Oh my. Somebody who has been sexually harassed I can tell you the article really enlightened me. The comparison is so so accurate can you only imagine if the FBI director was a young attractive woman as well???!!!
When he made a grown man feel that uncomfortable!!!!
When he made a grown man feel that uncomfortable!!!!
10
Exactly what I was thinking! I hope as the head of the The United States Department of Justice that Jeff Sessions knows that James Comey was fired in Retaliation. Look it up. Trump fired him because he wasn't a player. Ever hear of Retaliation? https://leb.fbi.gov/2010/february/retaliation-in-discrimination-cases-el...
6
I thought I was alone in being brought back to the harassers and creepy supervisors I fended off in my 20s and 30s as I listened to Comey. The former director of the FBI was so careful to sound calm, rational, understated, not the victim, all of it - Comey sounded just like a woman trying to get someone in HR to believe she was harassed by her handsy boss. One good thing has come of Trump: we realize we didn't ask for it and there is no "right" way to handle his ilk in the workplace.
11
As a female physician, I have been there with Mr. Comey, great job explaining this bizarre situation! Nicole is exactly right! Mr. Comey's testimony had the ring of truth, Republicans can try to spin it any way they want, but the truth hurts.
12
Thanks for this, it identifies the weird vibe I could not quite define. Once Trumps dance is seen for what it really is, an attempted seduction, the pattern makes complete sense in light of Trumps history. It is easy to imagine this same scenario played out many times over this mans' career, and there have been many women who have described similar, though more overtly sexual, encounters. Trump has a limited repertoire of controlling behaviors, mainly centered on his higher status, but he seems to have a genuine attraction to Comey, and after being rebuffed in a friendship attempt, went to plan B and used his private date trick to coerce the man into joining the team. When Comeys moral standards proved insurmountable, he quickly rid himself of his embarrassing failure, and covered his mess with a predictable tweet about how the man was a complete wacko. How may women have suffered that fate in Trumps prolonged adolescence? How many men?
704
This is not seduction. It is coercion. The two are entirely different.
1
You nailed it. And such "seduction" is always about power over another, and not about any kind of real love, friendship, or appreciation. Thus Comey's radar--hairs up on the back of his neck--was completely accurate right from the beginning.
1
And yet, women knew this about Trump prior to the election and still voted in favor of him (at least white women did). So, what's the problem here? Why can't we get this right?
5
I hate to say this because it's bigoted in and of itself, but white straight men are creeping me out lately. This campaign and election skewed my view of things. Whites women in many cases do what women often do,. We overlook things so much, we work so hard to find the good, that we can't see the monster in front of us.
1
So it's their fault? (Answer: no)
I believe it too! And I'm not surprised that 45 acted that way. He's probably done that his entire life to get his way, taking from others without remorse and just because he could. A bully from way back!
4
Wow, you really hit it on the head here. Thank you.
8
It is about power and control and manipulating those less powerful to get what you want--obediece, sex, money, etc. Trump respects no boundaries. Nothing is sacred including our nation.
6
Predators. The whole Republican Party is filled with them. The person or group that turns their back on these predatory situations are complicit. They blame the victim. They say its just natural and you are a big boy or girl so deal with it. They use any sort of excuse to wiggle out of their responsibility. Republicans turn their backs on the disabled, the poor and suffering not acknowledging that as leaders they are responsible for doing what they can for those victimized by their situations. They give tax breaks to the rich who do not need it while slashing food stamps. They become predators to our society.
7
This article resonates so much with me - the abuse of power, the confusion, the creepiness...
Almost 20 years ago a supervisor who was a "friend" of mine came over to my apartment with a six-pack of beer to hang out and play backgammon - something we had done several times. Around 11, my roommate went to bed and I went to the bathroom. When I came out I could see this man in my room, naked on my bed.
To say I was stunned is an understatement - I couldn't reconcile it at all. As I stood in the doorway, he kept motioning for me to come in and told me he knew that I wanted him and started acting aggressively. I asked him to leave - he would not - so I went into my roommate's bedroom, locked her door and stayed there all night.
At some point, I fell asleep and he finally left. The next day at work he initially avoided and then refused to even look at me, but later reminded me that as it was budget season, I was up for a raise and it would be "wise" of me to forget what happened the night before.
And you know what? For all intents and purposes that's what I did. I never told anyone at work, I had to continue working with this creep for two more years (I outlasted him), and I had to pretend (even to myself sometimes) that nothing ever happened.
I was powerless. I couldn't call the police to kick him out of my place - he was my direct supervisor. Same reason I couldn't tell anyone at the time. It's a terrible feeling to have, and it's not totally exclusive to women.
Almost 20 years ago a supervisor who was a "friend" of mine came over to my apartment with a six-pack of beer to hang out and play backgammon - something we had done several times. Around 11, my roommate went to bed and I went to the bathroom. When I came out I could see this man in my room, naked on my bed.
To say I was stunned is an understatement - I couldn't reconcile it at all. As I stood in the doorway, he kept motioning for me to come in and told me he knew that I wanted him and started acting aggressively. I asked him to leave - he would not - so I went into my roommate's bedroom, locked her door and stayed there all night.
At some point, I fell asleep and he finally left. The next day at work he initially avoided and then refused to even look at me, but later reminded me that as it was budget season, I was up for a raise and it would be "wise" of me to forget what happened the night before.
And you know what? For all intents and purposes that's what I did. I never told anyone at work, I had to continue working with this creep for two more years (I outlasted him), and I had to pretend (even to myself sometimes) that nothing ever happened.
I was powerless. I couldn't call the police to kick him out of my place - he was my direct supervisor. Same reason I couldn't tell anyone at the time. It's a terrible feeling to have, and it's not totally exclusive to women.
8
Comey's testimony took me back to my own deposition in a workplace sexual harassment suit nearly 20 years ago. All those feelings reemerged, the worst being the feeling of inadequacy in preventing the unethical proposition from having occurred in the first place, even though you did nothing to incur it. The part that really got me was needing to defend the very reasonable tactic of pleasantly agreeing [that Flynn was a "good guy"] as a way to expedite the encounter, rather than doing something much more flamboyant like slapping him in the face or storming out, like you might see in the movies. For me, the parallels were stark and disturbing.
495
Tina, your comment helped me understand my discomfort over the questions from a couple of senators about why Comey didn't just tell Trump that it was wrong for him to be making demands for loyalty and for suspending the Flynn investigation. Then we heard Comey virtually apologizing for not having been stronger. Just like a rape victim being asked why she didn't fight back, and being made to feel complicit in the abuse for not having done so.
And of course the implication of these questions is that we're supposed to give the abuser Donald a pass because of course he didn't know any better, and after all, this is the way he's been acting in the business world all his life. The victim Comey, we're supposed to believe, is somehow at fault for failing to instruct the ignorant Donald, just as women are somehow expected to prevent or deter inappropriate sexual behavior by men.
And of course the implication of these questions is that we're supposed to give the abuser Donald a pass because of course he didn't know any better, and after all, this is the way he's been acting in the business world all his life. The victim Comey, we're supposed to believe, is somehow at fault for failing to instruct the ignorant Donald, just as women are somehow expected to prevent or deter inappropriate sexual behavior by men.
"Why did he ask?" is the right question.
Brilliant piece . I actually replied to a commenter on another NY Times article who blamed Comey for not resigning .
Not resigning ? As if the onus is on the one being abused to quit rather than putting the blame where it belongs , on the abuser . In this case , the blame falls squarely on our corrupt President Trump .
Not resigning ? As if the onus is on the one being abused to quit rather than putting the blame where it belongs , on the abuser . In this case , the blame falls squarely on our corrupt President Trump .
9
I have to admit, that while I watched the interviews, I could see the discomfort he was describing, and I kept being bothered by it. I was frustrated with him. Why weren't you stronger, why wasn't your intuition better, why, why, why. I kept thinking why a man would be so afraid of another man - after all Trump is not a known predator with men....or is he. This truly resonated with me. I could not believe how much I kept thinking that I had never seen, what looks like such an honorable man, looking so unable to stand up for himself. And yes. When I read Serratore's piece, I thought, NO, ha, not really, and it's worse, etc...but it sort of reminds me of the years where I was not sure if I had really did something I didn't want at that time, because of the power, the lack of my own power, and so yes, in the end, my much older self sees it, sees this. I know we don't get to take notes in those types of situations, and really, I can see these 35 years later, 30 years later, still as plain as day. I didn't need note cards to remember. Yes, he did need the note cards, I get it. No one was going to stand up for me, or hear my case or let me leak it through a professor... this is very interesting. Anita Hill changed all this for me. I remember that as plain as day. Anita fought power plays like that; I could too. No one paid attention to her notes, and someone is still a Supreme Court Justice. I thank you Anita, and thank you James, for showing all the cards.
3
I hope Paul Ryan reads this. If there's one thing men can't stand is being perceived as weak like a woman (did you catch Putin the other day saying he never has a bad day because he is not a woman?).
Maybe when Republicans in Congress realize that all this time they've been getting"whipped" by Trump, they'll fight back, no matter how many nasty things he might say about them.
When Comey said he wore a blue suit to the 'event' on January 22nd at the White House -- because he knew the drapes in that room were blue and he was hoping not to be noticed, I have to admit I thought that was weird.
But now I get it. Thank you, Nicole, for putting it into words we all now "get."
Maybe when Republicans in Congress realize that all this time they've been getting"whipped" by Trump, they'll fight back, no matter how many nasty things he might say about them.
When Comey said he wore a blue suit to the 'event' on January 22nd at the White House -- because he knew the drapes in that room were blue and he was hoping not to be noticed, I have to admit I thought that was weird.
But now I get it. Thank you, Nicole, for putting it into words we all now "get."
4
Wow -- this is brilliant. A bull's eye!
Trump uses this tactic all the time with the American people. He says something preposterous then "flatters" them by including them in the crowd of those in the know.
"Look -- the moon is made of green cheese. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. All the farmers in this state certainly know it -- I hear it all the time. And finally, we're going to deal with it. (Applause). Isn't it about time?" More applause.
He has used this con man trick from Day 1. He has groomed his supporters like a molester. And now they have shame for falling for it.
Think about it.
Trump uses this tactic all the time with the American people. He says something preposterous then "flatters" them by including them in the crowd of those in the know.
"Look -- the moon is made of green cheese. I know it, you know it, everybody knows it. All the farmers in this state certainly know it -- I hear it all the time. And finally, we're going to deal with it. (Applause). Isn't it about time?" More applause.
He has used this con man trick from Day 1. He has groomed his supporters like a molester. And now they have shame for falling for it.
Think about it.
6
Trump is doing and saying anything he wants, and his people support him by saying he is not familiar with politics or the way government works because he is new to the processes that are basic to a president. The Obama birth certificate foolishness was one of our first windows to his lies and now the window is wide open. Bugs are flying in because there are no screens. It's a mess. What a world.
5
My husband just asked, as we watched the news, why Comey didn't say, "No, Mr President, that would be wrong!" And I told him that I believe that whether child or adult, boy or girl, man or woman, when a powerful abusive energy, that holds power over one, wants something improper, words tend to freeze in the throat. Thus even a strong, independent person such as the FBI director could be reduced to acquiescing to "honest loyalty" or just staring wordlessly.
331
Fear responses and Voice come from different parts of our Brain, and when cognitive dissonance occurs --- humans freeze up like a deer in head lights. No matter what myths we have about men --- we are human and often have baggage (being traumatize).
1
And then berating himself for not being stronger. As if anyone has shown sufficient strength to stand up to the mob boss in the Oval Office.
Jesus wept.
Jesus wept.
1
IT would have caused a futile time wasting argument. Better for Comey to have escaped as quickly as possible to take his detailed notes!
1
Brillant juxtaposition. It puts things in context and show how sexual harassment fits in the wider umbrella of coercion.
One critique, however, it's 2017 and not 1967. Sexual harassment is not solely exerted by men predators on women prey. You will find men harassed by women, women harrassed by women, and men harrassed by men. The narrowness of how this aspect was written made the opinion sound from another era.
One critique, however, it's 2017 and not 1967. Sexual harassment is not solely exerted by men predators on women prey. You will find men harassed by women, women harrassed by women, and men harrassed by men. The narrowness of how this aspect was written made the opinion sound from another era.
3
Trumph proudly relates how he employed women in project management jobs in his construction business. These women do not seem to relate any offensive stories about their experiences working for him.
It's because he requires non-disclosure agreements.
2
An interesting analogy. I didn't think of sexual harassment while I listened to Comey's testimoney, but I did think of the Godfather movie. With all the stuff about loyalty, I half expected Comey to tell us that Trump wanted him to kiss his ring. This whole Trump family saga just gets oilier and oilier.
The Trumps are helping themselves to US-taxpayer provided bodyguards as they traverse the globe cooking up deals with various despots.
I'm still digesting the New Yorker story ("Donald Trump's Worst Deal", March 13 issue) about the fake Trump hotel in Azerbaijan, built in the wrong part of the city, with no real way to even get there. The implication is a lot of dirty money laundering, involving Iran. Then we have the recent Forbes story about the Trump family charging usurious rates to host a charity golf tournament. They always get their cut.
I really hope that Mueller's investigation forces the release of this crooked family's tax returns.
The Trumps are helping themselves to US-taxpayer provided bodyguards as they traverse the globe cooking up deals with various despots.
I'm still digesting the New Yorker story ("Donald Trump's Worst Deal", March 13 issue) about the fake Trump hotel in Azerbaijan, built in the wrong part of the city, with no real way to even get there. The implication is a lot of dirty money laundering, involving Iran. Then we have the recent Forbes story about the Trump family charging usurious rates to host a charity golf tournament. They always get their cut.
I really hope that Mueller's investigation forces the release of this crooked family's tax returns.
6
This analysis is spot on in my view.
6
Great article.
Further illustrating your point, I couldn't help notice that some of the questions directed at Comey were almost carbon copies of the ones used by Bill Cosby's defense lawyers earlier this week. Andrea Constand was also asked why she didn't alert the authorities immediately after it happened, and why she willingly participated in one-on-one phone calls after the incident.
Coincidence? After considering your thoughtful article... I think not.
Further illustrating your point, I couldn't help notice that some of the questions directed at Comey were almost carbon copies of the ones used by Bill Cosby's defense lawyers earlier this week. Andrea Constand was also asked why she didn't alert the authorities immediately after it happened, and why she willingly participated in one-on-one phone calls after the incident.
Coincidence? After considering your thoughtful article... I think not.
16
While this situation is resonant for women who've been subject to sexual harassment from powerful, I'll tell you one group for which it is much more closely resonant: MEN who've been victims of such sexual harassment from powerful men (such as the cases involving Rep Eric Massa and Rep Mark Foley, for example). The language of this article excludes such cases, and leaves such victims unacknowledged. Why?
4
Concur. Trump was relying on his power to coerce Comey. Just hearing Comey's description of Trump asking Kushner and Sessions to leave the room for privacy with Comey was a triggering event for me.
19
Maybe people haven't been exposed to people like Trump in their lives.
Maybe they have, and blamed themselves for weakness when being bullied.
I recognized him immediately for what he was.
And yes, he's a predator.
And now he's at the top of the food chain.
Maybe they have, and blamed themselves for weakness when being bullied.
I recognized him immediately for what he was.
And yes, he's a predator.
And now he's at the top of the food chain.
32
Only one way he can go now.
This analysis nails the creepiness that Trump exudes and why it's difficult for decent, morally upstanding principled people to associate with hm.
60
Analogies can illuminate. Abuse of power happens every day, from overbearing clerks to presidents. Hold on, indeed.
18
Nicole Serratore, you have absolutely nailed it! Brilliant! And yes, we've all known "that guy".......
46
When trump doesn't get his way with lies, false promises, wining and dining, he tries to intimidate people into doing what he wants them to do. In this case, he picked on the wrong man, Comey wasn't going to take trump's lies and threats laying down, or stoop to his level.
25
Brilliant article.
31
Yes, yes, yes. Comey's statements reminded me of when I have been most shocked by harrassment and assault - it is base, predatory and TOO commonly experienced by not only women. Stomp it out!
16
Truly brilliant.
24
Even 6'7" Comey does not want to be in a room alone with Trump. Very telling.
40
I believe come too and trump's attorney knows we believe him and that is why today he started to attack Comey's credibility. That is this administration only hope, for now.
3
Thank you, Ms. Serratore! I expressed this very reaction to women friends all morning during the testimony. As the victim (Mr. Comey) was blamed and questioned by senators for seemingly leading his unwanted suitor on, I recognized exactly the dilemma Mr. Comey faced. Most women have been in this very place in their work or social life. Power is power whether it is your supervisor or your child's baseball coach. It goes all ways that it can when power has no moral guide nor empathy for others, and only seeks it's own greedy ends. Today was a powerful illustration that the element isn't restricted just to women -- but I maintain that many women recognized it's insidious process as Mr. Comey spoke about being too stunned to fight back and immediately searching his mind to stay sharp and preserve the self.
47
Perhaps what can be expected by a President from the Director of FBI is "critical loyalty"?
1
This is an excellent article with many excellent comments. I would like to add a point that may add to all these. In a simplistic male versus female model, w might think that all men are alike and exert powerful control over society. In fact, male culture enables a heavy stratification of power among men.
Lower class male workers are completely controlled and dominated by their supervisors and the business owner. Supervisors by the owner. And so on up the corporate or organizational power chain.
Here with Comey and Trump, we see male domination at the highest levels of the social hierarchy unveiled for all to see. As with women dealing with sexual harassment and bullying from males at work, Comey feels violated and stressed. Men at the bottom of the social and work hierarchy experience this as well. All the time. Maybe that's why they try to exert the same control on their wives and families. The bullied bully.
In other words, what I'm saying is that maybe 10% of men have most of the power in society. These like Trump are the top of society. It's a mistake to lump all men together. The rest of the population - men and women - are harassed, bullied and controlled in similar fashion, whether they're male or female. What was illuminating was watching Comey as a man who isn't used to being bullied and manipulated having to accept it and not say anything. And then explain and acknowledge their subservience in public today on national TV. Enlightening.
Lower class male workers are completely controlled and dominated by their supervisors and the business owner. Supervisors by the owner. And so on up the corporate or organizational power chain.
Here with Comey and Trump, we see male domination at the highest levels of the social hierarchy unveiled for all to see. As with women dealing with sexual harassment and bullying from males at work, Comey feels violated and stressed. Men at the bottom of the social and work hierarchy experience this as well. All the time. Maybe that's why they try to exert the same control on their wives and families. The bullied bully.
In other words, what I'm saying is that maybe 10% of men have most of the power in society. These like Trump are the top of society. It's a mistake to lump all men together. The rest of the population - men and women - are harassed, bullied and controlled in similar fashion, whether they're male or female. What was illuminating was watching Comey as a man who isn't used to being bullied and manipulated having to accept it and not say anything. And then explain and acknowledge their subservience in public today on national TV. Enlightening.
65
Nicole Serratore, exactly my thoughts watching Comey's testimony. And like so many people who tell the truth about the unjust use of power, the victim becomes the accused.
55
Thank you for expressing my exact thoughts and emotions while watching the hearings today. It was uncomfortable to feel such anxiety vicariously for Mr. Comey. I knew that I was not alone in this.
41
When Comey was asked why he didn't tell Trump it was wrong as to what he was asking him and why he didn't tell someone what Trump was asking of him I empathized with Comey. Is there anyone who has never been blindsided by something someone says which leaves you so shocked that you are speechless and feel at loose ends? I have.
82
Those were exactly my thoughts. That part of the testimony gave me chills and nausea, it was so evocative of my experiences with harassment.
29
I hate articles that presume to speak for "every woman". I don't see many that try to speak for "every man"; and isn't the point of feminism that we are as different as men and should embrace our differences? I have never been in a situation described by the author and when I read Mr. Comey's testimony, sexual harassment never once crossed my mind. Instead I was thinking of a story told me by my mother who was a dissident in the USSR. The KGB tried to enlist her into betraying her friends by tactics very similar to the ones described here: phony confidences, subtle pressure, veiled threats. Of course, she refused but for a while, until we immigrated, she was in real danger of being arrested. I was proud of our system because Mr. Comey, though he lost his job, was able to speak out in public without fear. So is my mother's experience any less significant than that of a woman whose boss makes inappropriate suggestions to her and who can resign or sue him? The USSR is gone but there are many countries today where KGB tactics are alive and well (including, partially. Russia itself) and reducing this to a sexual harassment scenario diminishes the seriousness of a threat people in autocratic regimes face.
7
You underestimate the power of sexual harassment to destroy an individual.
1
Aren't you dispensing with the author's excellent viewpoint here, in favor of your mother's experience? This isn't to say that your mother's experience in the USSR is any more or less relevant that what the author has written. It's also not to say that just because you personally haven't experienced harassment, that you should take umbrage with the author. I find your mother's experience as interesting, and the point you make as valid, as this article. Neither point need be exclusive of the other. And let's not forget -- this President is autocratic, and a serial sex offender.
Your argument is that comparing the scenarios in Comey's testimony to sexual harassment cheapens... what exactly? Our ability to recognize the current president's autocratic leanings? I'm not even going to touch on whatever value system one must possess to consider sexual harassment "cheap" and insignificant, because the broader point is that more than one comparison can be made at a time. Yes, all women are different. You see things differently than the author of this piece, and that's fine. But you are also the only one claiming that other people's interpretations are inferior to yours, which is wonderfully ironic.
Comey's testimony and this article should be taught in high school classrooms this fall. Comey perfectly articulated the sense one gets when instinct kicks in screaming danger, danger and the logical mind is still trying to interpret those signals. Whatever the details of the situation when this occurs, reconciling the mind and heart takes time.
73
Betsy would never let it be part of a curriculum in "her" schools.
15
Absolutely. Thank you, Ms. Serratore, for recognizing this and stating it so clearly. The President of the United States is an authority figure, whether or not in direct authority over the person, as Trump was over Mr. Comey, and as the male boss or supervisor is over the female employee. The relationship isn't limited to male authorities over female subordinates, and the emotional reaction of the subordinate to an improper or unwanted "advance" isn't limited to women.
61
This is so smart and so true. Thank you.
60
Brilliant. Why didn't I think of this myself? Well, at least I recognized it once it was spelled out for me.
30
"We had that thing" tells you everything you need to know about Trump's character. He has certainly gotten his way thousands of times by defining a "thing" where all the winnings go to him and the other person ends up poorer or exploited. This probably never backfired on him -- least until now.
98
My thoughts exactly!! Thank you!
34
Wow! As Comey was describing the unexpected dinner for two, during which time the other person spelled out their demands, and the subsequent meeting during which everyone else was asked to leave the room, I was thinking of (actually reliving) similar situations. It's creepy.
119
Yes. Manipulation comes too easily for him.
17
The image here is well chosen - it isn't hard to see the physical power play going on, and it is evident Comey is uncomfortable and wants his hand back as soon as possible.
26
Nailed it. Am sending this to my eighteen year-old daughter right now. Four thumbs...
41
Its funny how Republicans like Christie and Paul Ryan and others are trying to cast Trump's meetings with Comey as just naivete and a typical outsider New York talk. Seems to me the same defense they offered at Trump's lewd behavior as just innocent locker room talk when the Billy Bush tapes came out. Unfortunately, a predator then, a predator now. Sick and Sad!
105
If Christie's and Ryan's wives read this, I'm sure they'd understand. Maybe they'd pass it on to their husbands and we'd see some changes.
Also, I bet Christie and Ryan succumbed to Trump's predatory behavior. That is, he used the same techniques on them -- and it worked! Now they are too involved and too shamed to admit it.
Also, I bet Christie and Ryan succumbed to Trump's predatory behavior. That is, he used the same techniques on them -- and it worked! Now they are too involved and too shamed to admit it.
1
"Any woman hearing Comey’s testimony thinks of one thing: sexual harassment."
? But this wasn't sexual harrassment, and bringing up sexual harrassment with that in mind undercuts the case for sexual harrassment, short of groping. This type of thing happens to men too, although not as often and usually free of the fear that a sexual favor will be asked for or a physical advance, though occasionally that happens from female and male bosses.
? But this wasn't sexual harrassment, and bringing up sexual harrassment with that in mind undercuts the case for sexual harrassment, short of groping. This type of thing happens to men too, although not as often and usually free of the fear that a sexual favor will be asked for or a physical advance, though occasionally that happens from female and male bosses.
3
I had just the opposite thought: That showing the striking similarity between Comey's experience and sexual harrassment makes sexual harrassment become just another species of abuse of power. That's a good thing, if it makes those who doubt or criticize it stop and recognize the parallels. Then perhaps there will be more sympathy, and empathy, for women who make these claims. With that, we could have a generic, all purpose template for teaching bosses and employees right and wrong without getting into gender or identity politics. Abuse of power is wrong, and it doesn't matter who the victim is.
16
Hmm, right...except the author isn't undercutting anything. She's simply stating that the way Trump behaved towards Comey, and the way that Comey reacted to that behavior, is similar to sexual harassment. There's this amazing process that we call an "analogy," which allows us to understand one thing by comparing it to something else. Are you familiar with analogies?
While it wasn't sexual harassment, the techniques Trump used on Comey are the same as those used by sexual harassers, including behaving in a way that made Comey prefer to avoid being alone with Trump.
8
As in many instances of sexual abuse or harassment, Comey fielded the same 'why didn't you tell anyone right away' questions. And as in such situations, the answer was somewhat obvious: perhaps I misread him; the wrongdoer will deny and call me a liar; I will lose my job; I will be better off trying to move on.
Trump's biggest mistake was pulling the plug on Comey and publicly announcing why he did it. As Comey emphasized, at that point all Comey needed to corroborate his version of events was Trump's own words.
And therein lies Trump's fatal flaw: his boundless hubris and sense of entitlement. He repeatedly undercuts those who attempt to explain away his most outrageous statements and conduct by announcing, en haut voix, 'I did it, I said it, I meant it, and I have an absolute right to do so.'
We shall see.
Trump's biggest mistake was pulling the plug on Comey and publicly announcing why he did it. As Comey emphasized, at that point all Comey needed to corroborate his version of events was Trump's own words.
And therein lies Trump's fatal flaw: his boundless hubris and sense of entitlement. He repeatedly undercuts those who attempt to explain away his most outrageous statements and conduct by announcing, en haut voix, 'I did it, I said it, I meant it, and I have an absolute right to do so.'
We shall see.
106
profound insight. thank you Nicole.
31
Clearly Trump has done this before...perhaps this time he won't get away with it. The world is watching.
23
That's it. Exactly. Took my breath away.
18
Comey even went to his "HR Department" - Jeff Sessions - and the HR Department wouldn't help! HR Department is always there for the company, not for the employees!
55
Brilliant essay, Ms. Serratore! Thank you. The parallels between Trump-Comey and boss-woman, physician-patient, therapist-client, or any other imbalance in power relationship are uncanny, and are far more insidious and dangerous than is generally recognized. You nailed it in your analysis.
Comey, a man gifted with a fine education, long experience, physical stature, and an impeccable reputation, was intimidated but not shut down. He is in a position to speak truth to power. Not so the great majority of people, especially women, who find themselves targeted in very creepy ways.
Comey, a man gifted with a fine education, long experience, physical stature, and an impeccable reputation, was intimidated but not shut down. He is in a position to speak truth to power. Not so the great majority of people, especially women, who find themselves targeted in very creepy ways.
32
Of course Comey was stunned. He is more accustomed to investigating crime, not witnessing it.
46
Brilliant. Nailed it.
23
The comparison is reasonable. But when I heard the details of the "I hope you can see your way clear to ..." conversation, I heard a loan shark or mafioso, whose victim knows he means, "I hope you can do it, because if you don't I'll break your knees."
49
The parallels are so striking I am reminded of the Anita Hill travesty.
Only this time the Dems aren't rolling over and playing dead.
For some reason.
Only this time the Dems aren't rolling over and playing dead.
For some reason.
23
As a man, I thought this whole thing was very parallel to a sexual harrasment - all the same patterns and power-plays, just a different goal.
54
Is the goal really different? In sexual harassment, I think the goal is more about power and control than sexual gratification.
1
Very powerful opinion article and thank you. I cringed every time I saw that video of don trump pulling Comey to whisper in his ear. It was replayed over and over again in the mainstream news. Look at don trumps knuckles in the picture, they are white. it feels brutal to me. and then the unwanted 'kiss' or whisper. You can see Comey recoil in disgust in the video. He doesn't want to be anywhere near that creep. I am reminded of the French President holding on to don trump in that clasp and staring him in the face. That took guts. We need our representatives to have that kind of strength. Stare that creep down. Thanks Mr. Comey. You did good today.
85
Ms Serratore, brilliant commentary! Being a woman who has been in the workplace from small town California to big city New York for more than 60 years I have experienced all that you relate to in the world of male predator/female prey. It's not surprising to see input from male commenters defending the most powerful predator in our nation - what man wants to own up to using such power over woman who are often desperate for their paycheck to feed their kids. But we know the truth of what you amplify so clearly in your work. And BRAVO for Mr. Comey for shining the klieg light on this monster madman in the White House. Exposing vermin is the first step to ridding ourselves of toxic waste, yes? Heartfelt thanks, Ms Serratore.
369
Ms. Colville, I am a male of an age relatable to yours, and I detest and deplore everything Trump - the person, his institutions and his desecration of our government. To use your terms, I think he and the crew that came with him are both the vermin and the toxic waste.
And Ms. Serratore, thank you for the thoughtful insight from an unexpected source.
And Ms. Serratore, thank you for the thoughtful insight from an unexpected source.
1
Same thoughts here, Ms Serratone.
Thank you for your crystal-clear writing.
Thank you for your crystal-clear writing.
25
Complete and total predation. We've all experienced it in our lives, no? The subtle ask, followed by the implied threat, followed by the urge to flee. This column was brilliant. Thank you.
136
Brilliantly written. All women could commiserate with Comey. We've all been there. Thanks for writing this, and publishing it.
31
I was aghast at how any woman could have voted for Trump after his "grab them by the p..." interview. But a macho guy used to getting people to fawn over him and bully his way mistakenly believed he could act this way as the President. Demand loyalty or be fired.
Now a towering guy, Comey, cornered in a room by himself with the Predator in Chief is treated in the same modus operandi that worked for business. But this time, Trump forgot that his actions are scrutinized by every news outlet in the world and his actions have consequences beyond dalliances. Firing in order to obstruct justice is unquestionably an impeachable offense.
Bittersweet for Trump, he achieved his ultimate goal of becoming President, only to see that his job, his business, and most painful for this narcissistic man, his reputation and name are about to be dragged through the mud and forever sullied. Shakespeare would have found it too rich to believe.
Now a towering guy, Comey, cornered in a room by himself with the Predator in Chief is treated in the same modus operandi that worked for business. But this time, Trump forgot that his actions are scrutinized by every news outlet in the world and his actions have consequences beyond dalliances. Firing in order to obstruct justice is unquestionably an impeachable offense.
Bittersweet for Trump, he achieved his ultimate goal of becoming President, only to see that his job, his business, and most painful for this narcissistic man, his reputation and name are about to be dragged through the mud and forever sullied. Shakespeare would have found it too rich to believe.
27
Yes, yes yes. It's the Trump way-to manipulate, twist, and jerk his germiness all around to bring the environment under his ugly and criminal control. Then his claim "not nice to me" to those who dare to not comply. That's what the monster handshake is all about - dirtying and asserting control over each and every acquaintance that holds as its foundation potential/eventual degradation, humiliation, verbal assault, threat, attack for faltering or his perception of betrayal (witness treatment of Spicer, Christie, recently Sessions). No wonder Merkel, May, and Macron, are among those he considers not his friends... they are independent and won't subject themselves to, they won't play a part in the intimidation-subjugation game. Trump, Ailes, O'Reilly... the same abusive ilk.
23
Ailes was disgraced and now deceased. O'Reilly lost his job.
Trump -- yet to be determined.
Trump -- yet to be determined.
1
Dead is where we all get. Neither of them will get the retribution and consequently the signal of utter rejection from society and humiliation they deserve. O'Reilly will soon be putting big bucks back in his pocket, (as if he isn't in or near the .1% already. He, Ailes, Trump--they PROFIT from abuse--whether it's of women (and it always seems to include women, regardless of the other victims).. from their bigotry, intimidation, and fraud perpetrated on investors, consumers, audience, politicians. In the case of Trump, either he will have added the GOP to the very long list of the conned, (voters are a given) or the GOP will impeach him and make him a public loser. EIther way it could work for those of us with a modicum of integrity. Of course--it could all just go on as is in this very stable horror of qpq's between the dump and the republican worms.
1
This is the Director of the FBI! Intimidated into silence? Please.
3
So you would not feel a bit intimidated if your boss, the President of the United States, suggested you do something you may feel uncomfortable doing???!!
3
Comey was in charge of a very important investigation. An investigation into a cyber attack instigated by a foreign adversary and directed against the United States of America. Trump's implied threat to comey's job was real. It was as real to him as an abuser's threat to harm the children or kill her is to a woman. When I hear someone question the victim of a predator as to why they didn't "just leave" or "report it" or "fight back"... I know that they simply don't understand the 'threat level' ...predators have absolutely no qualms about carrying out their threats. They are psychopaths. That's what Comey should have testified to today-Donald J. Trump is a psychopath.
2
Yes Mike, he was only confronted by the man in the most powerful office in the world. Where's the pressure in that?
4
I thought the same thing as Risch is badgering Comey about asking him specifically what he meant when Trump said, I hope you are going to be loyal to me or whatever he said. I'm sure Comey is thinking, Is this really happening. What do I do to protect myself and how do I get out of here as quickly as possible?
15
Thank you. You are right on. The most poignant words to me is when Comey said you tell the jury to look for a pattern. Well, his pattern has been clear as day and some how he got in the White House and now we are all suffering. Maybe now that a man experienced the "Predator in Chief" more people will stand up for what is right for democracy. Though I would not be surprised if he bullied other men before he entered politics.
22
Here's the part that bothers me about the idea that women are leading the resistance. Trump got 53% of the white women vote. He couldn't have won without them. That totally surprised me. After all that had come out documenting Trump's abuse of women, I had thought he would have lost that demographic by a considerable margin.
I keep wondering how those women feel about their vote now that they have seen more evidence of what kind of man they have elected as their president.
I keep wondering how those women feel about their vote now that they have seen more evidence of what kind of man they have elected as their president.
17
Some women are attracted to men who are rebels, who seem so self confident nothing could ever phase them. They want a protector, they don't mind being dominated if the intent is to keep them safe. Some men are also attracted to that personality, in an employer or friend, if they themselves are not confident. It's not surprising to me that roughly half of the population can overlook bad behavior in those they deem to be "strong", it seems that each group needs the other.
1
Mark, predators who dominate never intend to keep their prey safe.
2
This is standard dominance behavior; we are still animals don't you know?
2
Excellent piece with great insight. I thought a similar thing when he was answering Feinstein..... on why he didn't walk away then and there. It's not that easy if you want your job. Many women know this.
Trump is once again proven to be appalling.
Trump is once again proven to be appalling.
41
While the parallels are clear, a power monger is a power monger and what this situation truly demonstrates is that men are not immune.
16
Thought the exact same thing... "don't leave me along with him"
25
Union organizers always tell people who are trying to start a union at their place of work to document every encounter they have with management, as the drive for the union continues.
This documenting can be very helpful in making a case that an employer violated federal labor law with unfair labor practices.
Reporters also know that their notes of interviews can save their jobs, if someone interviewed for a story starts calling the managing editor screaming, "Your reporter misquoted me!"
Taking notes is a good idea in a lot of situations, come to think of it...
This documenting can be very helpful in making a case that an employer violated federal labor law with unfair labor practices.
Reporters also know that their notes of interviews can save their jobs, if someone interviewed for a story starts calling the managing editor screaming, "Your reporter misquoted me!"
Taking notes is a good idea in a lot of situations, come to think of it...
25
Maine Senator Angus King asked James Comey, about the Valentine Day meeting when Trump told Comey: "I hope you can see your way clear to letting this go, to letting Flynn go."
When King asked: “Do you take that as a directive?”, Comey replied: “Yes, yes! It rings in my ears as kind of ‘Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?’ ” King replied: “I was just going to quote that.” Henry II’s exasperated utterance in 1170 which inspired the murder of Archbishop Thomas Becket is one of literature's most celebrated euphemisms.
Coffey’s interpretation of Trump’s words would be shared by at least 90% of the English speaking population even if some of the Republican Senators engaged in linguistic duel to dodge the clear intent of the words of their President.
Lady Macbeth counsels her husband, Macbeth to kill King Duncan that very evening with these words: Duncan "must be provided for", carefully spoken so that the words would not convict them:
“He [Duncan] that’s coming
Must be provided for; and you shall put
This night’s great business into my dispatch,
Which shall to all our nights and days to come
Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.
Duncan does not arise from his bed the next morning. Would the Republican challengers protest, “But the Lady Macbeth didn’t say to ‘kill the king!”?
James Comey could also have invoked another famous line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet: "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark." That’s no euphemism.
Robert F. Lyons, Kennebunkport
When King asked: “Do you take that as a directive?”, Comey replied: “Yes, yes! It rings in my ears as kind of ‘Will no one rid me of this meddlesome priest?’ ” King replied: “I was just going to quote that.” Henry II’s exasperated utterance in 1170 which inspired the murder of Archbishop Thomas Becket is one of literature's most celebrated euphemisms.
Coffey’s interpretation of Trump’s words would be shared by at least 90% of the English speaking population even if some of the Republican Senators engaged in linguistic duel to dodge the clear intent of the words of their President.
Lady Macbeth counsels her husband, Macbeth to kill King Duncan that very evening with these words: Duncan "must be provided for", carefully spoken so that the words would not convict them:
“He [Duncan] that’s coming
Must be provided for; and you shall put
This night’s great business into my dispatch,
Which shall to all our nights and days to come
Give solely sovereign sway and masterdom.
Duncan does not arise from his bed the next morning. Would the Republican challengers protest, “But the Lady Macbeth didn’t say to ‘kill the king!”?
James Comey could also have invoked another famous line from Shakespeare’s Hamlet: "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark." That’s no euphemism.
Robert F. Lyons, Kennebunkport
38
I listened to the bulk of the testimony, and I was struck by Comey's inability to put to words at some points the awkwardness that resulted from compulsion. He is so articulate, yet the situation defied his ability to describe it. Many of my female colleagues find themselves in similar situations where things are implied, perhaps not even sexual, that draw their coercive power from a kind of default masculine behavior that assumes feminine weakness and conciliation. Thank you for pointing out a parallel that is so common it is taken for granted as normal by many of us men as the way men and women behave. It's not right, and your article points us all towards empathy and change.
42
Exactly what I thought, but more articulate.
17
When listening to Mr. Comey, I felt exactly the same.Ms. Serratore. And correctly stated– there was/is a poignancy that resonates, particularly with women.
Perhaps those men (mostly all of them) who didn't believe Anita Hill's testimony, may see something in this moment that finally gives them pause.
While Trump's behavior with Comey does not meet the legal requirements for workplace harassment (sexual and non-sexual) laws, there's another law, which is beginning to look a lot like Christmas: "Obstruction of Justice."
Perhaps those men (mostly all of them) who didn't believe Anita Hill's testimony, may see something in this moment that finally gives them pause.
While Trump's behavior with Comey does not meet the legal requirements for workplace harassment (sexual and non-sexual) laws, there's another law, which is beginning to look a lot like Christmas: "Obstruction of Justice."
32
Wow!!
Ms Serratore, you have done a great analysis! Are you a psychiatrist?
We should all learn from this analysis.
Ms Serratore, you have done a great analysis! Are you a psychiatrist?
We should all learn from this analysis.
15
I thought the same thing. And it doesn't make any difference that James Comey is a (very tall) man. The issue is who has the greater power to harm someone. Clearly 45 was in a position to damage Comey's reputation--or Comey's beloved FBI.
32
Thank you for providing me with a startling new insight into the mind of a predator. How tragic that in this case the perpetrator is the President of the United States and the object of his unwanted attention was the former Director of the FBI.
25
Trump is a bully and a baby. Can only dish it can't take it. Of course he will say that is fake news. Loyalty to Trump?
Really, a deal with the devil.
I praise your honesty Comey, without honesty loyalty is false praise.
Really, a deal with the devil.
I praise your honesty Comey, without honesty loyalty is false praise.
15
Chilling, and an incredible parallel that I had not put my finger on but completely resonates. Of course there was no sexual overtone--it's about power, same as it is with rape, which really isn't about sex either. I'm positive the comments below will be full of men saying this is an inappropriate metaphor, but I think you're right on.
31
On the contrary, any honest male who is not at the top of some hierarchy, will recognize this scene as very familiar.
2
No one ever seen this coming. I wish I could get in a room alone with a creep like this, just once.
5
I read his prepared comments. I hope this does not come across as weird, but my initial read was that this sounded like a weird erotica novel.
So, thanks for your perspective. Kind of sounds right.
So, thanks for your perspective. Kind of sounds right.
14
Wow, I honestly thought I was the only one with this reaction. Whenever someone pushed Comey about why you didn't do this or that, I knew the answer - shock.
53
I can see the point of view in this article but I really think it is a bit of a stretch to compare it to sexual harassment. The issue between Comey and Trump was a power play where one person was crossing legal and ethical boundaries and trying to use his power to force compliance. This isn't sexual harassment. It may be harassment but comparing it to the violation and indignity of what some women have to endure in the workplace ..... enough with the interpretive antics.
Common to sexual harassment, sexual assault, abuses of power, and child abuse are the violation of boundaries and norms that protect the person in the more vulnerable position. In all these cases the one who has a lower status or whose position is dependent on the one abusing his or her power, regardless of whether the institution is in interpersonal relations, the family, the workplace, or the executive branch of the government.
39
I agree with you. Although I did chuckle at first because I thinking it was eerily close to an encounter I experience every day at work where I have to take the tunnel under the building to get to my desk because I'm trying to avoid interaction with a particular person. I think sexual harassment is a much more permanent and emotionally traumatizing violation than professional intimidation.
1
Diana, Ms. Serratore is saying that Trump's interaction with Comey is analogous to sexual harassment, and she's saying this because the two interactions share a similar dynamic. She isn't taking anything away from women who have been harassed in the workplace by comparing that experience to this particular interaction. Comey, it appears, did feel trapped, afraid, uncomfortable, and unsure of how to respond, which is, essentially, exactly how you feel when you've been sexually harassed. She's also saying that this role of harasser is something that our president is familiar with. It's a really solid analogy.
14
Thank you Ms Serratone. I had similar thoughts while watching the Comey hearing today but you nailed it with "he psychology of coercive seduction". Trump is a predator.
31
Grab 'em by the… Shoot somebody on 5th Ave.. Those weird pumping handshakes. Shoving a dignitary aside and pushing in front of a crowd. Juvenile offensive tweets every morning. Lies, lies, lies. Stalking around on a debate stage, behind a female candidate while she speaks. Lies, lies, lies. Mocking a disabled person in full view of a TV camera. Name-calling on a third grade level. Why will the GOP not take action about this irrational man who 'leads' their party? How is it that this man's deranged behavior is known worldwide, yet we are powerless to stop him, powerless to defend ourselves from this madness?
157
Please send this to all the republican representatives in your state.
2
This is a brilliant article. It perfectly articulated why I find Trump so creepy.
Another germane metaphor for him, by the way, would be "mob boss." In the 1950s the sociologist Edward Banfield argued that rural Italian society was plagued by "amoral familism," a mindset in which only the needs of one's immediate family (or tribe) received attention and the good of the country, let alone civilization more generally, was entirely ignored. This perfectly describes Trump. It also perfectly describes the Republican Party.
Another germane metaphor for him, by the way, would be "mob boss." In the 1950s the sociologist Edward Banfield argued that rural Italian society was plagued by "amoral familism," a mindset in which only the needs of one's immediate family (or tribe) received attention and the good of the country, let alone civilization more generally, was entirely ignored. This perfectly describes Trump. It also perfectly describes the Republican Party.
41
The whole GOP is trying to craft legislation to harass and intimidate women.
3
Clearly, Trump's approach toward Comey was a well-practiced choreography. He just picked the wrong mark this time.
23
Well-practiced choreography, from years of manipulation, intimidation, and power brokering - whether in business or sexually. It's not all that different. It's about exerting his desires, without exception, but perhaps RESISTANCE gives 45* that extra satisfaction desired, not unlike rape.
2
When I read that Mr. Comey immediately wrote down a narrative of his first one-on-one with Mr. Trump because he knew the interaction was deeply inappropriate, I was reminded of an very similar incident in my life when my response was precisely as Mr. Comey's. Been there, done that.
Thank you, Ms. Serratore, for your spot-on analysis of this predatory behavior.
Thank you, Ms. Serratore, for your spot-on analysis of this predatory behavior.
51
You are spot on. I was thinking this as I listened to the testimony and got chills as I saw how it correlated with my own experiences. To hear one of the most powerful men in America reflect he might have acted differently if he had been "stronger" was somehow comforting, because it demonstrated to me that lack of strength isn't the problem that causes people to freeze in the face of harassment--rather it is our strength and our dedication to treating others with respect that is confounded in the face of the weakness and selfishness of the harasser. How base and purile Trump seemed in comparison to the estimable Mr. Comey. How I wish a man or woman like Comey would be our president.
78
Very insightful, and well put.
37
This article is brilliant. Thank you, Nicole. It took a woman to notice what was going on. It offers a key to Trump's behavior in other contexts: the deals, the stiffening of creditors, the attempts to make everything personal and confidential. And so, the bragging about sexual conquests extends to all else in Trump's world, which is in his inadequate mind.
34
Typo: I meant "stiffing."
4
Totally agree. I don't know how I didn't see it before. It's exactly how the few predators I have run into have acted. And how I felt.
51
This had not occured to me but the similarities are unnerving. I remember many years ago having a boss who told me that he would be "nice" to me if i was 'nice" to him. I went to a more experienced woman in tears who recommended I document the conversation, seal it in an envelope and she and I would sign the envelope. Documentation, like Comey, if I needed it. Luckily, the boss didn't last long. I recently retired and found that 20 year old envelope. Not the greatest career memento.
55
This is an absolutely fascinating comparison between Trump’s predatory behavior as controller-in-chief over Comey’s career and the sexual harassment that women are subjected to by powerful men in the workplace – something that Trump has also been accused of in his prior life as a rich, successful businessman.
This commentary helps us understand why Comey might have been reluctant to speak out when Trump invited him to a private dinner at which he made some preposterous requests to Comey. What makes Ms. Serratore’s narrative even more compelling is that just like a woman who refuses to acquiesce to the demands of a predatory boss, Comey too lost his job for rejecting Trump’s advances that hinted at job security for loyalty.
Sadly, even if it’s found that Trump did not technically obstruct justice, he still wickedly ended Comey’s career to salvage his own.
This commentary helps us understand why Comey might have been reluctant to speak out when Trump invited him to a private dinner at which he made some preposterous requests to Comey. What makes Ms. Serratore’s narrative even more compelling is that just like a woman who refuses to acquiesce to the demands of a predatory boss, Comey too lost his job for rejecting Trump’s advances that hinted at job security for loyalty.
Sadly, even if it’s found that Trump did not technically obstruct justice, he still wickedly ended Comey’s career to salvage his own.
75
I am grateful that, as a nondescript male of a certain age without power or wealth to be desired by others, I cannot recall such a thing happening to me. It behooves everyone like me to be grateful to Ms. Serratore for identifying what has happened.
46
IT is all too humorous to read all of the responses of undue pressure and other unseemly types of actions supposedly exerted on the DIRECTOR OF THE FBI... when did anyone much less democrats start defending the FBI? Anyone want to speak of agencies exerting undue influence over anyone need only look to the FBI beginning with J Edgar Hoover and work forward... the FBI exerts more unseemly and illegal influence in one day than will ever be exerted on Jim Comey.
2
Moral people of every stripe seek justice.
8
The Trump version: "I hope you don't resist if I sexually harass you."
His lawyer will later explain that he didn't threaten, he was just hopeful.
His lawyer will later explain that he didn't threaten, he was just hopeful.
40
Indeed, I e of the senators said, 'No one has ever been convicted for hoping.'
7
Decades ago as a very young lawyer I was sexually harassed by my boss--who took me to a conference room on a different floor of our office tower for my performance review and then suggested we go to a hotel. "Nobody knows what the lawyers do all day anyway." I recall not moving a muscle in my face, using every effort I could muster to maintain a totally neutral expression, neither acquiescing nor offending, finally moving my review ever so slightly to his attention. "Why don't we do this?"
No woman who has ever experienced such an abuse of power doubts for an instant Comey's account of his dinner with our president. His testimony brought back my own experience in stinging recall and validated everything else he said.
No woman who has ever experienced such an abuse of power doubts for an instant Comey's account of his dinner with our president. His testimony brought back my own experience in stinging recall and validated everything else he said.
591
Macron dealt beautifully with Trump's attempt to dominate . IT's worth watching that handshake again.
2
hello,
I had the same impression and the same take regarding predation and victimization as Comey spoke.
If you watch the tape where Comey is called over by Trump at the White House in January- the scene where he tried to avoid a hug from Trump-
as he walks away Trump is speaking to him. If I read his lips correctly Donald Trump told Comey "I love you" as Comey walked away from him after the handshake.
I had the same impression and the same take regarding predation and victimization as Comey spoke.
If you watch the tape where Comey is called over by Trump at the White House in January- the scene where he tried to avoid a hug from Trump-
as he walks away Trump is speaking to him. If I read his lips correctly Donald Trump told Comey "I love you" as Comey walked away from him after the handshake.
14
Any woman would think of sexual harrassment? Um, no.
4
I did.
9
Or to put it another way, the women who voted for Donald the Grabber didn't think of it. We already know that!
8
First thing I thought of - there are many power plays - sexual is only one of many. Almost every woman has experienced that, usually multiple times and only that if they are very lucky.
11
Great insight. The arc of the encounters is very well described.
Many of us would use the same word--stunned--to describe the reaction to the verbal encroachment. It is always later that one finds the words that should have been said, and phoning/writing/emailing then seems ill-timed and useless.
This man must go. There is no redeeming feature.
The embarrassment is, if not the worst burden, considerable. My friends in Canada approach me, a dual citizen, with horror-tinged sympathy as they might if my family member were afflicted with a dire and morally reprehensible illness, such as tertiary syphilis.
Many of us would use the same word--stunned--to describe the reaction to the verbal encroachment. It is always later that one finds the words that should have been said, and phoning/writing/emailing then seems ill-timed and useless.
This man must go. There is no redeeming feature.
The embarrassment is, if not the worst burden, considerable. My friends in Canada approach me, a dual citizen, with horror-tinged sympathy as they might if my family member were afflicted with a dire and morally reprehensible illness, such as tertiary syphilis.
32
I had a similar reaction. When senators asked Comey why he didn't quit, that made me think of the Trump team's comments when asked what Ivanka would do if she were harrassed at work. First they said it wouldn't happen because she was too strong; then the response was that she would just quit and find another job. Put the burden on the victim.
51
The Republicans are Trump's enablers. I wonder how many admire him in private, how many do the same things. They are a despicable lot, a bunch of old frat boys who tried to get their dates dead drunk so they could molest them. Not for nothing did Trump try to dismiss his Access Holywood tape as "locker room talk", and dear little Billy Bush went right along with it totally titillated and admiring. I have known and despised this type of male since I was old enough for them to notice me. The only feeling they arise in me is utter contempt. Yes, Trump, you too.
3
Brilliant. Women are always put into the "he said, she said" position, and to be fair, everyone outside the room can't know what actually happened, they must choose based on the context and past behaviors of both parties. What is disgusting is that the powers that be will side with one guy against several, or in the case of Cosby, dozens of women telling the same story.
What shocks me most is the women who defend this behavior in men. Not denial that it goes on, but actually excusing it, defending the perpetrators and blaming the women for being complainers, irrational and unreasonable. As long as women are willing to stab each other in the back this way the problem will never go away.
What shocks me most is the women who defend this behavior in men. Not denial that it goes on, but actually excusing it, defending the perpetrators and blaming the women for being complainers, irrational and unreasonable. As long as women are willing to stab each other in the back this way the problem will never go away.
35
Their behavior is called Stockholm syndrome.
2
Embarrassed to say that I would not have made this connection on my own. That's male privilege for you. Once I read Ms. Serratore's column, it was face-palm obvious. Thank you.
Sexual harassment is basically bullying, a special bullying reserved for women. Some men get bullied, but it was probably a new experience for the physically and intellectually imposing Comey.
57
A very insightful piece and a very unique perspective. Trump is used to being large and in charge. He takes what he wants when he wants regardless of how willing the other party is. I'm reminded of his testimony to the Scottish Parliament about the windmills near his golf course. Trump kept insisting that he was all the proof they needed and he truly expected to be given his way.
Hopefully Comey takes a much needed breather after he's done testifying before starting a new job. He's going to need time to process what happened to him during his brief time with Trump as his boss. In time it will sink in that he's not the crazy one and Trump really was entirely out of line.
The most disturbing aspect of today's hearing wasn'tTrump or his actions. The fact that the Republicans don't seem to be taking this seriously doesn't bode well for the future. How can Americans protect themselves from Russian interference in our election if our elected officials don't seem to care.
Hopefully Comey takes a much needed breather after he's done testifying before starting a new job. He's going to need time to process what happened to him during his brief time with Trump as his boss. In time it will sink in that he's not the crazy one and Trump really was entirely out of line.
The most disturbing aspect of today's hearing wasn'tTrump or his actions. The fact that the Republicans don't seem to be taking this seriously doesn't bode well for the future. How can Americans protect themselves from Russian interference in our election if our elected officials don't seem to care.
41
Trump's Republican enablers are part of the sickness. They seem to think if he's throwing his wrath somewhere else they're in the clear. They don't seem to realize that when the top is sick the whole system is endanger of being quickly compromised.
4
This is the most insightful, fitting and airtight hypothesis for Trump's character I've ever read. What's most disturbing is that such behavior can so easily hide in plain sight, if not be an acceptable, even respected, sign of "strength" — to say nothing of being such a common source of dread for half of the human population.
44
This article makes an excellent point, and lines up completely with the pressure of a predator in sexual harassment. Comey may have been a man, and a tall man, but the intimidation of being in front of someone with the power to ruin your life in some way is just the same. And look at exactly what Trump did to Comey to ruin try to his reputation and fire him from the job he loved. Trump has truly proven that he is untouchable and we all know that.
29
Interesting how those in power demand one-way loyalty and have no qualms about stabbing those most loyal in the back, even out of a whim.
Ms. Serratore's analysis is right on, calling Trump a predator. Unwittingly Trump's own predator is Putin and his own mind - making him most unfit for the office and responsibility he holds.
Ms. Serratore's analysis is right on, calling Trump a predator. Unwittingly Trump's own predator is Putin and his own mind - making him most unfit for the office and responsibility he holds.
27
Great analogy but my take is Bully, Bully, Bully. Trump is a bully pure and simple
9
This is so True about Comey and Trump interaction. I agree with Emcee ( illustrates that sexual abuse is primarily about power). Thank you Nicole Serratore for revealing that for me.
16
Comey took the measure of Trump and found him to be a liar. Seems a reasonable conclusion.
12
Wow this is powerful!
16
Every word you write is true.
Working with predatory men is a
tightrope too many women deal
with multiple times a day.
Working with predatory men is a
tightrope too many women deal
with multiple times a day.
15
Here is a fascinating and thoroughly convincing argument. Upon reading, the comparison may be immediately grasped. As a man, I had some inkling of what Serratore described, but it hadn't been clear until reading her contribution here. Damning, as it is magnificent in its reasoning. Thank you!
31
I believe Comey too. And his portrayal of Trump as some sort of weird bumpkin rings true.
But, honestly, to compare Trump's conversations with Comey to "serial sexual harassment" is to take metaphor into the realm of hysteria and obsession.
But, honestly, to compare Trump's conversations with Comey to "serial sexual harassment" is to take metaphor into the realm of hysteria and obsession.
DLS, the author wasn't calling it sexual harassment. She was comparing the reactions of Comey to women who have been sexually harassed by a boss. And that feeling of being "stunned" followed by absolute rigidity of posture, trying not to reveal a thing in your face, to move a muscle is what I experienced when it happened to me, and from my conversations with women is fairly common.
In fact, resorting to absolute stillness (essentially playing dead) has even been documented by researchers in the animal world as a last ditch attempt to save yourself from an overwhelming predator. Sometimes the reaction in our brains is not just fight or flight but to freeze. Apparently it sometimes works.
I don't believe comparing these reactions can be called hysteria or obsession. It's an observation about what can happen when a human being encounters a foe in a position of extreme power.
Not saying Comey was sexually harassed, but his initial reactions and response may be similar to women who have.
In fact, resorting to absolute stillness (essentially playing dead) has even been documented by researchers in the animal world as a last ditch attempt to save yourself from an overwhelming predator. Sometimes the reaction in our brains is not just fight or flight but to freeze. Apparently it sometimes works.
I don't believe comparing these reactions can be called hysteria or obsession. It's an observation about what can happen when a human being encounters a foe in a position of extreme power.
Not saying Comey was sexually harassed, but his initial reactions and response may be similar to women who have.
21
I wonder who set up the room and chairs for the Comey "testimony". It appeared that Comey's chair was just a little bit lower than others. Was it a subtle attempt to intimidate him, the guy who dares to be a lot taller than Trump? Was the seat extra hard & uncomfortable, causing him to "squirm", throughout the session? If they were attempting to distract Comey, it certainly did not work.
I can only hope that Trump, watching the hearings, sent his minions up to his private quarters to start packing up his stuff, preparatory to leaving out the back door before the ship sank.
I can only hope that Trump, watching the hearings, sent his minions up to his private quarters to start packing up his stuff, preparatory to leaving out the back door before the ship sank.
11
So this person, who now disgraces the presidency, used the same sleazy tactics that he repeatedly used as an admitted sexual predator to try to "get his way" with the Director of the FBI. After all, to paraphrase his Access Hollywood boast, "If you're President, you can do anything". Here's a news flash Mr Trump: contrary to what your role model Nixon said, it is not legal just because the president does it. America is still a country of laws, not men. And in your interview with Lester Holt, you admitted that you obstructed justice. You will be remembered in infamy. And you will be fortunate if you escape imprisonment, and that the worst sanction that you face for your misconduct is impeachment.
12
Wow! Thank you for crystalizing what should be obvious to anyone who has felt intimidated by someone in power, men included.
19
I wish I could; but, I can not find any parallels to sexual harassment in the experience of Mr. Comey. He is not a victim as far as I can imagine. He is a snake in the grass! He snake bit the "careless"
Ms. Clinton and you know it. He tried to snake bite the "lying" Mr. Trump by leaking to the press so as to get a special prosecutor to spread his poison. These are the marks of a master manipulator and he has lost all credibility in my mind.
Ms. Clinton and you know it. He tried to snake bite the "lying" Mr. Trump by leaking to the press so as to get a special prosecutor to spread his poison. These are the marks of a master manipulator and he has lost all credibility in my mind.
I disagree. Comey is a man of honor and integrity. He rings true no matter whether you agree with him.
Did he make a mistake in his handling of the Hillary email investigation? Let's look at it. Certainly, Bill Clinton's (another manipulator) talk with Loretta Lynch on the tarmac was problematic for him, as was her request that he call the email investigation a "matter". That term was the one the Clinton campaign used to obscure the fact that it was an investigation. At that time, Comey was awash in evidence of Russian tampering with the election. He knew they were hacking computer systems, and he had reason to believe that the one Hillary had set up at her house was vulnerable. His agency determined that she was not deliberately using it to make information available to foreign agents, but given the circumstances at the time, he was entirely correct that she very careless.
Also, consider the reason Hillary gave for having a private server. Does anyone really believe she doesn't know how to use technology? Anyone in a professional capacity - and who has to let everyone know how brilliant she is - has been using it since the late 80's at least. No, she didn't want the public to be able to file a FISA request. It was part of her own nearly pathological secretiveness. So, she was hoist on her own petard, friends. I do not believe that Comey acted out of maliciousness, just an abundance of caution.
Did he make a mistake in his handling of the Hillary email investigation? Let's look at it. Certainly, Bill Clinton's (another manipulator) talk with Loretta Lynch on the tarmac was problematic for him, as was her request that he call the email investigation a "matter". That term was the one the Clinton campaign used to obscure the fact that it was an investigation. At that time, Comey was awash in evidence of Russian tampering with the election. He knew they were hacking computer systems, and he had reason to believe that the one Hillary had set up at her house was vulnerable. His agency determined that she was not deliberately using it to make information available to foreign agents, but given the circumstances at the time, he was entirely correct that she very careless.
Also, consider the reason Hillary gave for having a private server. Does anyone really believe she doesn't know how to use technology? Anyone in a professional capacity - and who has to let everyone know how brilliant she is - has been using it since the late 80's at least. No, she didn't want the public to be able to file a FISA request. It was part of her own nearly pathological secretiveness. So, she was hoist on her own petard, friends. I do not believe that Comey acted out of maliciousness, just an abundance of caution.
Sorry, but grown, well seasoned men, esp a man who has made his way as the leader of the FBI, may have been stunned, but in no way does this compare to the way women 'feel'. He's 56, has been in govt circles for years. He knows the ropes.
His testimony that he was stunned and didn't know what to say is a bit much and is something I don't want to see in the FBI.
Absolutely nothing to do with women. False equalvancy.
His testimony that he was stunned and didn't know what to say is a bit much and is something I don't want to see in the FBI.
Absolutely nothing to do with women. False equalvancy.
what an amazing and thought provoking piece!
Of course it makes sense - T does not take no for an answer, and Jim Comey is much too decent to punch DJT in the face. Not saying he would, but that is what every predator deserves. Actually a punch a bit lower than the belt would be better.
I believe James Comey 100% and hope to heavens there are tapes ... somewhere
Of course it makes sense - T does not take no for an answer, and Jim Comey is much too decent to punch DJT in the face. Not saying he would, but that is what every predator deserves. Actually a punch a bit lower than the belt would be better.
I believe James Comey 100% and hope to heavens there are tapes ... somewhere
18
I wrote this same sentiment on Twitter! Comey's experience reeks of harassment. As a victim of sexual harassment from a male professor when I was in graduate school, I get it! Given Trump's background as a sexual predator, this manipulation and seduction fits his pattern.
20
Trump is a classic predator, figuring out quickly what a person's vulnerabilities are. Wanting to keep your job would be something he would salivate over. Also, demeaning Comey on tv and to the Russians as a nutjob was a classic move. How many predators excuse their behavior by saying the woman was crazy?
25
Rings so true
10
Wow, framed as written, it does sound like what women experience.
13
The worst Sociopath I've ever seen, NOT behind bars. Yet.
15
I know a fairly large number of women. I have discussed Comey's testimony with some of them. Not a single one brought this up. The author is projecting her own experiences, or obsessions, onto many millions of women who might well recoil at the comparison.
Dan Kravitz
Dan Kravitz
1
Might the fact that "not a single woman" you know brought up this comparison merely mean that your friends lacked the insight of this author, and not that the author is "projecting"?
21
...and yet, to most of the women commenting here, it seems to ring true.
6
So what? Hundreds of women did think of this, me included. Who cares that none of the few women you spoke to brought this up? What does that prove? You don't sound like the type of man I would be candid with if I knew you.
3
This is exactly what I thought when I watched Comey say today that he was stunned, and froze. I didn't know how to describe the feeling it evoked and I wondered if any man would understand Comey's reaction to be something women often experience. Thank you for putting this so well into words.
21
Excellent analysis, I hadn't bought of it quite this way but it is a perfect analogy.
14
The similarity occurred to me too, Ms. Serratore, while listening to the beginning of Comey's testimony. (though I'm not a woman). At times in my career when I received pressure such as Comey did, I pushed back, sometimes at cost.
11
I'm a man and have never experienced this. Thanks for this article as it gives me a sense of how women feel in such situations.
26
Thank you for this article---there are pundits and some Senators or are taking the position that Comey should have taken a stand in those meetings. Your description is a much more nuanced, and I believe correct, reading of the dance that was going on between a very powerful predator and a weak victim. Let's be honest, not one of those Senators across from the table from Comey, placed in that same Oval Office position, would have acted differently.
41
Exactly-- and thank you for writing this.
As I listened to comey today, I was reminded of a senate internship I had I college: I resisted, but I was stunned, left speechless, and had to struggle to maintain composure while combatting sexual harassment by a politically powerful man on a nearly daily basis. It was interesting today to hear another politically powerful man describe having an experience so psychologically similar to my own. My experience made me change my mind about pursuing a career in politics. Nothing that happens in Washington surprises me.
As I listened to comey today, I was reminded of a senate internship I had I college: I resisted, but I was stunned, left speechless, and had to struggle to maintain composure while combatting sexual harassment by a politically powerful man on a nearly daily basis. It was interesting today to hear another politically powerful man describe having an experience so psychologically similar to my own. My experience made me change my mind about pursuing a career in politics. Nothing that happens in Washington surprises me.
40
This essay expressed my deep feelings about Mr. Comey's testimony. My experience, especially as a new manager in the 70's, tells the story Mr. Comey did not know he was telling.
18
What an interesting perspective. This would have never occurred to me, but now that it's been pointed out, I can totally see it. What an apt way to spread empathy and compassion.
37
Are they really the same? At any time he could have told him "No, I won't be part of this" and left. At some level, I think Mr Comey enjoys the spot light and attention.
Yes. They are. Both are about a power differential.
17
Really? Disrespect the President? Also note Trunp started the conversation with a discussion of whether Mr Comey wanted to stay in his job.
I think you miss the point. One party had power over the other that they use to coerce into doing something they don't want to or know is wrong - a circumstance that describes both sexual harassment in the workplace and The Trump/Comey interaction.
I think you miss the point. One party had power over the other that they use to coerce into doing something they don't want to or know is wrong - a circumstance that describes both sexual harassment in the workplace and The Trump/Comey interaction.
12
They are the same. In both cases there is exploitation of a power imbalance, in which the dominant party tries to intimidate the subordinate party into compliance.
10
This article and the comments are extraordinary and have helped me see Trump's power plays in a new, clearer, way. There can be no trust in the actions of Trump as this is how he really is, unsafe to be with.
44
Chillingly accurate comparison. Thank you for this.
50
Note Comey also said he remembered another conversation with Trump-- that when Trump called him forward out of the curtains and hugged him Trump whispered in his ear "that he was doing a great job"-- another predator move- "that thing we had"-- look at the photo,
42
Good point about the photo. Trump's m.o. is to get photos of himself with others to put himself at an advantage. Note how he had his critics into the White House, Romney, Gore and others. Once he got the photos and some favorable words, he promptly dismissed these people as if they were used kleenix. He's a predator through-and-through.
2
So. True.
20
A brilliantly accurate observation, masterfully spelled out with great clarity. And I would take things a whole step further in the same direction. Trump's family entourage and his inner circle of sycophants seem to have become so inured to his pathology that they no longer know what is abnormal and what is not. And that same enabling behavior is now also enacted by all the republicans, not one of whom seems able and willing to counter Trump's contemptible overall conduct and to call him on it. As a result the whole country is now forced to live the sickness called Trump. We are now one big pathological family on a national scale because we cannot escape the daily vulgarities and abuses that come from our predator in chief. So much for American exceptionalism. We cannot even seem to make it to normal everyday decency anymore.
115
the republicans & his inner circle ARE his enablers in a ploy to get that which each wants from him. The Republican Leadership IS COMPLICIT as they slash and burn our democratic institutions & benefits! All they need to do is formulate a new executive order, slide it under his hand & pen at the desk in the Oval Office and let his narcissistic,ego driven persona sign away the peoples' rights & benefits! They are shameless!
3
It's the sickening discomfort of realizing he's a loose cannon with no scruples whatsoever - and all the power in the world.
But the real moral of this story is - there's far more formidable power in documenting and reporting the sleaze.
But the real moral of this story is - there's far more formidable power in documenting and reporting the sleaze.
26
My exact reaction. Plus the fading into the drapes story has currency for me because I have a creepy neighbor. I have actually jumped behind a bush to avoid him. Every woman has experienced the icky feeling from some overly attentive guy. The looming male power presence, the mansplaining and the talking really loud to prove that they are right tactic of a few men are a common experience.
35
Add me to the list of people who immediately thought of someone being harrassed by a superior. You're uncomfortable, you can't quite believe it's happening, and you're trying to figure out how quickly to get out. You think of telling your boss, but you worry your boss will put his own career ahead of doing what's right. Then people come in after the fact and claim you should have done x/y/z, as if you weren't under duress.
40
Absolutely. The BOYS doing the " questioning " could have been any small town Cop, blaming the victim while simultaneously attempting to brush everything under the proverbial rug. Welcome to Woman's World, guys. Every single thing we do or say, OR DO NOT, is scrutinized, analyzed, weighed, measured and parsed for meaning. It's really inescapable. As I tell my Daughter and two granddaughters, often, I wish that we were all lesbian. The Husband is both amused, and slightly frightened. Cheers.
26
I wonder how many of the senators questioning Comeys reactions have been the harasser in the past?
1
I thought the exact same thing when Comey's statement was released: Gee, this sounds awfully familiar. I imagine that Trump's sexual assault victims were thinking this too. The similarities between Comey's account, those of sexual assault survivors, and Trump's own admission of guilt on the Access Hollywood tape reinforce the fact that sexual coercion is not about sex: it's about power, manipulation, and subjugation.
33
Wow! This accurately describes the facts of life. It is disgusting that the president of the United States uses the same power play on 6'8" Comey that he confessed to having used on women in the "Access Hollywood" tape. And yes, every woman has probably had the experience of a predator failing to read the "NO" signals that Comey tried to convey. Trump's primitive instincts insult the human race.
38
Nixon and Clinton both learned the hard way that while they may have held the highest office in the land, they were still held accountable when they abused the power entrusted in them as President. It may be that Trump has finally come to a place where lies, bullying, money, and even all of his power can't get him out of this enormous hole he dug himself.
Spot on. My exact experience and feelings: "For a woman who has spent a lifetime wrestling with situations where men have power they can abuse, this was disturbingly familiar." Thank you to Nicole.
32
As I watched Comey's testimony today and heard one senator after another ask slyly, "Why didn't you confront the President; why didn't you tell him that he was doing something wrong,...?", I thought immediately about the way we blame the victims of many crimes, including but not limited to harrassment, bullying, and sexual assault.
I had a bit of a knee jerk negative reaction when I started to read this. (My first reaction was that it was off topic.)
Then I kept reading. Ms Serratore gives a very compelling comparison. James Comey might not like being compared to an abused women, but the comparison rings very true. As other commenters have said "this is about power". And the 45th president likes power; the 45th president also seems to like to abuse that power.
As a man raised in Virginia, I offer this most profound insight to the 45th president, "You Sir, are no gentleman." What a shame.
Then I kept reading. Ms Serratore gives a very compelling comparison. James Comey might not like being compared to an abused women, but the comparison rings very true. As other commenters have said "this is about power". And the 45th president likes power; the 45th president also seems to like to abuse that power.
As a man raised in Virginia, I offer this most profound insight to the 45th president, "You Sir, are no gentleman." What a shame.
43
Really excellent.
25
So, Trump is being painted as a "predator in chief", by the same people who were fine with Bill Clinton's actual sexual activities in the Oval Office and apparently with Anthony Wiener's activities everywhere.
Nothing could be further from the truth.
15
a) yes, I am painting him that way
b) I was disturbed by Clinton's actions
c) that's separate from thinking that they were grounds for impeachment, which was a power-grab by men often just as guilty as Clinton
d) no one is fine with Wiener
e) it's 20 years later - we've grown as a country in terms of what we know is unacceptable from sexual predators
f) wasn't Trump supposed to be *so* much better than either Clinton? And now your defense is that he's the same so we should shut up? The low bar he's being held to only proves he's a toddler in a grown-up's job.
b) I was disturbed by Clinton's actions
c) that's separate from thinking that they were grounds for impeachment, which was a power-grab by men often just as guilty as Clinton
d) no one is fine with Wiener
e) it's 20 years later - we've grown as a country in terms of what we know is unacceptable from sexual predators
f) wasn't Trump supposed to be *so* much better than either Clinton? And now your defense is that he's the same so we should shut up? The low bar he's being held to only proves he's a toddler in a grown-up's job.
16
Actually Clinton was impeached. Not for his Monica activities, but it is not accurate to state that he was not impeached. And all I am doing is pointing out the raging, out of control hypocrisy among Dems. (And I am still registered as a Dem, btw.) I'm sure that you and NYT would be fine with ANY amount of "predation" from a Democrat or POC. And I still wonder what the Dem end game is here. So you all want Mike Pence to be POTUS? Or you want Paul Ryan? Which? Because I know you all disapprove of Mike Pence's marriage, so I'm thinking you must really want Paul Ryan....
"Why didn't you tell the President that what he was asking was inappropriate?" Let's see....He's physically intimidating... He tends to lie....He doesn't listen....He appears to have no sense of decency, honor or integrity.... He's known for unending vindictiveness....He's extremely sensitive....He's very mean and liable to attack.... He's obviously unstable... He seems to think that he is above the law....He is not afraid to use his considerable power to rip apart every inch of your life....And he is mad, bad and dangerous to know. So under those circumstances, why would you even risk telling the President that what he was asking was inappropriate, when you know that he would destroy you?
38
Thought for a moment it was the Cosby trial.
9
On the money comparison of the power play and confusion that happens during inappropriate exchanges between the powerful and subordinates. Thank you for the excellent opinion piece.
19
This resonated with me. I've been in situations when a superior said or did something inappropriate. I thought of all the clever responses later, at home. But in the moment I just sat there in stunned silence. That line "I wish I had been stronger" played over and over in my mind.
13
This is a really insightful column. Thank you for your thoughtful analysis!
33
"I hope..." are the words used by DJT to brave James Comey, indicating his desire to have the Russian probe of Flynn stopped. I had a new hire "check in" lunch recently with the top executive where I work. It was supportive and affirming - but there were implicit "I hope..." type statements sprinkled in with regard to what is expected of me in my role at the company. I took those to be "implicit" directives. There was no question in my mind that. although not delivered as 'orders," I should do as implicitly directed. So, Mr. Comey's interpretation of his then boss's "I hope..." statements as implicit orders was a natural response - any employee would see it that way. Of course, he was uncomfortable because his "boss" was crossing well established boundaries that would make any employee uncomfortable with such a boss. Thank heavens he acted on it for the sake of our nation as well as personally. Thank you James Comey.
40
I found Nicole Seratore's point of view illuminating. Logical. It rings true. But as shaken as Comey clearly was during and after his encounters, Trump and his advisors ultimately misjudged Comey's strength and abilities as a long time operator in the politically deadly game of politics. But what is making Comey even more effective at persecuting Trump, is his deeply held convictions about the American democratic framework of checks and balances. It's now a story of redemption - not long after his fall from grace as a result of his missteps with Clinton's email server investigation.
39
I was more focused on the constitutionality of the exchange, but, as they say, every crisis is an opportunity. In this case, for an impressive reach.
1
It's not a reach to compare the President to a serial sexual predator. It's a simple statement of fact, verified by his own recorded statement.
2
I agree that most women have been there. I remember one particularly standout incident from my past. The confrontation itself was stunning and disturbing. But the perpetrator's denial that it ever happened when I reported it was even worse. It changed my life.
75
Wow. Ms. Serratore has articulated what I vaguely felt but had not formulated into words. When I read hers, there was the immediate ping of recognition: yes. That's it.
Mr. Comey, I too believe you.
Mr. Comey, I too believe you.
133
Trump turns on everyone sooner or later. Comey figured this day one. Republican sycophants trying to walk the line to get what they want from Trump will go down the tubes later and harder. Harassment is abuse of power and position. Women know this all too well. The Senate's cut off of Kamala Harris, 25 years later, is eerily like their disdainful treatment of Anita Hill. Same old.
58
OMG - yes, of course you are right. And the use of predatory behaviour between Trump and Comedy also illustrates that sexual abuse is primarily about power.
84
And deconstructing Comey's response to one of the questions as to why he did not say anything "I was so stunned that I just took it in." No explanation needed,language speaks for itself given the context of this article. This also shows that in a patriarchal society, the worst thing you can do to a man is to put them into a female position. Very astute article.
128
I was also struck by how uncomfortable it was when some members of the committee tried to twist the plain language used by Trump -- "I hope" -- to mean Trump was making a simple mild request that Mr. Comey had grossly misinterpreted. The entire dinner meeting had a mobster-like quality of insinuation explicitly designed to avoid overt threat, eg, "Nice Directorship of the FBI you've got there, Mr. Comey, it would be a shame if anything were to happen to it." In questioning the validity of Mr. Comey's instinctive (and no doubt accurate) interpretation of Trump's request, some members of the Committee displayed the A+ sort of gas-lighting women who attempt to report harassment must expect.
195
Think of possible synonyms for hope....expect, wish, desire, want, need......and you see GOP committee members are trying to make words mean what they want them to mean and totally ignoring the context which actually clarifies their meaning. Based on all the words when ch came before "hope," Trump was making a courteous but firm demand.
16
It's the first thing I thought of--and I'm sure many other women did, too--when we heard Comey felt "uncomfortable." Most women have been there, desperately trying to become invisible when someone is intent on pursuing you.
65
The nub of what former Director declared today had to do with his sense about "the nature of the person." To me that said it all, but it was a message that has been in-our-faces obvious for a very long time, certainly since the vile, loud and totally unsubstantiated birther harassment and pursuit of our one and only African American president. Hey; who knows? He's have African. Maybe he was born in Africa.
Come to think of it, maybe Trump was born in Germany. Where's his long-form birth certificate? And while he digs that out of his safe deposit box, let's demand his academic transcripts from the Wharton School of Business? He says he's smart. How do we know that?
Come to think of it, maybe Trump was born in Germany. Where's his long-form birth certificate? And while he digs that out of his safe deposit box, let's demand his academic transcripts from the Wharton School of Business? He says he's smart. How do we know that?
24
Thank you for a fantastic association that I certainly would never have made. It is telling of both Trump's psychological toolbox that he doubtless have operated with his entire adult life. President Thug.
55
Word.
27
Nicole, you nailed it!! Thank you!!!
65
I believe you, Mr. Comey, I believe you!!!
67
Thank goodness the NYT finally allowed the Access Hollywood quote to be printed with the word "pussy". I used to try to include that quote in my comments, but the NYT never published them.
I think it is critical for opinions like Ms Serratore's to be published since this is what so many of us are dealing with. We know Trump is a creep, he reminds of us so many creeps we have had to dealt with in our lives. To have so many Americans vote for him despite him being a creep makes me sick.
Lets not every be so stupid again, eh America?
I think it is critical for opinions like Ms Serratore's to be published since this is what so many of us are dealing with. We know Trump is a creep, he reminds of us so many creeps we have had to dealt with in our lives. To have so many Americans vote for him despite him being a creep makes me sick.
Lets not every be so stupid again, eh America?
63
What this highlights is that sexual harassment of the quid pro quo type is not about sex but about power.
Trump was pulling a classic power play. When a subordinate whose career is dependent satisfying the boss, it is essential that the boss play by the rules. When the boss steps outside the norms, the subordinate either suffers the boss' breachs to keep the job or loses the job. It is a terrible dilemma for the subordinate.
Trump was pulling a classic power play. When a subordinate whose career is dependent satisfying the boss, it is essential that the boss play by the rules. When the boss steps outside the norms, the subordinate either suffers the boss' breachs to keep the job or loses the job. It is a terrible dilemma for the subordinate.
77
@Rita
Thank you!
Yes, rape, sexual assault--ALL power plays.
Like watching Christian Bale in “American Psycho.” Trump is proving every day that he is close to sociopathy. That soulless body is so NEEDY. That frightened our lawman, Comey. Because FBI agents and cops have to deal with sociopathic criminals all the time and Trump caused Comey’s hair to stand on end!
This is DEFINITELY Trump’s “Art of the Deal.” The entire book is about how to maneuver to a power position over a subordinate OR to show power in a business deal.
I had to read this ghostwritten book. It’s short.
Like needing to read “The Satanic Verses” by Salman Rushdie!
Sold a lot of books for sure!
Thank you!
Yes, rape, sexual assault--ALL power plays.
Like watching Christian Bale in “American Psycho.” Trump is proving every day that he is close to sociopathy. That soulless body is so NEEDY. That frightened our lawman, Comey. Because FBI agents and cops have to deal with sociopathic criminals all the time and Trump caused Comey’s hair to stand on end!
This is DEFINITELY Trump’s “Art of the Deal.” The entire book is about how to maneuver to a power position over a subordinate OR to show power in a business deal.
I had to read this ghostwritten book. It’s short.
Like needing to read “The Satanic Verses” by Salman Rushdie!
Sold a lot of books for sure!
4
"Power over others is weakness disguised as strength" —Eckhart Tolle
5
Excellent article. What Comey testified to is exactly the intimidation tactics that most women have dealt with at least once in their lifetime. It is much easier to understand the testimony when it is put in this context. Thank you.
46
seems to me an inappropriate comparison. i have noticed a distinct decline in journalistic standards and decorum lately, in the times and etc. i still appreciate the times for its representing a particular mindset: but since the election, i do not think this newspaper even pretends to objectivity. this paper now indulges in the same excesses, inuendos, and conspiracy theories that far right pundits once did under obama.
2
Keaton, you must not be a woman. This column brought back many situations in my life that had left me feeling weak, powerless, not knowing how to express my ideas or actually answer to what had happened. Men with power take advantage of women subordinates. Think about this: Comey was a subordinate to Trump.
15
What's inappropriate about it? Do you mean because a president would never sexually harrass? Oh wait, this one does, by his own admission. Do you mean that there was no power differential being exploited for personal gain by the more powerful person in the room?
12
thank you for your responses i appreciate the opportunity for dialogue. i think that to conflate political pressuing with sexual harassment is inappropriate in the sense that political pressure may come to beneficial ends while the same cannot be said for sexual harassment which is always egregious. (politics is not zero sum and the public good often is advanced even in uncomfortable situations like those Comey has been subject to) whether or not we agree with trump's policies, i do not think it is in the interest of honest journalism to allege that any time a president uses his position to influence another's actions that it is tantamount to sexual harassment. would anyone here make that comparison with Johnson's congressional cajoling in getting the civil rights bill passed?
Brilliant analysis. Thanks.
37
trump's mere handshake (a power grab, no pun intended) is predatorial in nature.
46
So is this how Trump feels about Putin?
3
No, I did not think of sexual harassment. Actually it is misleading and demeaning to write "Any woman thinks of sexual harassment."
Completely in context, I've thought of workplace harassment, where a woman in power attempts to abuse a position and manipulate another woman; mostly though I just took it at face value. Can you not twist it into something on your agenda?
Completely in context, I've thought of workplace harassment, where a woman in power attempts to abuse a position and manipulate another woman; mostly though I just took it at face value. Can you not twist it into something on your agenda?