In Spain, Secrets and a Possible Betrayal

Surprised someone with a PhD on sodomy would cheat? seems a little naive.

I love this so much. You are so poetic. I hope to write like this one day.

One of my favorite lines: "And the streets paved with stones taken from the river, smooth and shining in the dark, like the backs of fish."

Dude!

Man up.

"But why was it Granadian exclusively? Why would their disappointment be greater than that of all of Spain? We never found the answer."

Fed up with the tourist hordes I suspect.

A text written by an American for American tastes (the liberal version, in this case), all the cliches about Spain in one short piece. Perhaps my problem is this subscription to an American newspaper?

Two small errors in this essay. The poet's last name is Garcia Lorca, not just Lorca. And there aren't lots of cathedrals in Granada. A cathedral is the seat of a bishop, so only one cathedral in Granada. Little errors undermine the reader's confidence in the accuracy of the rest of the paper's content. Please bring back the copy editors.

So you had a wonderful relationship - and - were open to non-monogomy. I think forgiveness was in order here - why throw out something wonderful (and rare) if you're​ both on the same page. Everything and everyone has become disposable in the modern age.

I spent a night in the parador in the Alhambra and walked the moonlight gardens overlooking the city. Memorable.

The Alhambra is like no other place on earth -- it's stunningly beautiful.

Re "mala folla." I'm from Madrid (lived abroad most of my life) and they have that type of waiter all over Spain. My Latin American friends have also pointed it out. Waiters in Spain have a way of being proud, as if they wanted to say: "I might be serving you but I'm not your servant". You will have noticed that a lot of them are middle-aged men, not happy-go-lucky twenty-somethings. Serving tables is a proper job in Spain, and a very common one in a country so reliant on the hospitality industry. So I guess it's a type of class pride, and a very charming one, to me at least (I'm biased, obviously). In mala folla, there's also an element of very old fashioned gender role play (Muslim heritage?). A common sight in Spanish supermarkets: an amazingly pretty checkout girl who seems to despise each of the male customers, all of whom have fallen for her while queuing. That's malla folla too.

Wonderful. Brings back my own vivid memories of Granada.

A nice read. We go to Spain every year to travel and visit family. I fell in love with Galicia and Galicians last year. No mala folla there (or many other places I've spent time in for that matter).

Coming off spending March in Spain, we decided that it is cheaper, and more fun, to vacation in Spain than live in the US.

In Granada, check out Poe, a tapas bar. (you can find it via Yelp). My wife and I had two glasses of wine; you get a free tapa with each glass. We then ordered two more (for a total of six tapas). Total bill was 18 euro. Poe opens at 830 pm. It looks very much closed prior to that time. Don't worry, after a week in Spain, you'll be eating at 10 pm as well, the country does that to you.

Definitely book tix for Alhambra ahead of time, even off season, as we were. The ticket machines are a bit of a trip. If you can, print out tix at your hotel/Airbnb. If not, the machines are kinda fussy; we ended up in the regular ticket line, since we couldn't get any satisfaction from the machines. Best to go in morning if you like to avoid crowds. The gardens are wonderful. And, definitely walk down the "secret" way, to Albaizin (sp?).

Although I can't afford it there is a wedding I have been invited to near Bilbao.
I have been there while in the Navy and loved Spain since

Reminded as nothing ever did as closely -of the overwhelming emotion and my tears as I watched the perfect beauty of Alhambra at sun set ....some 45 years ago! Thank you!

Granada is wonderful!

Luscious writing! We recently went to Spain and Granada seemed full of mystery. Now it looks even more tempting.

I'm 70 today but this beautiful story takes me back to when I was 19 and in my freshman year studying Spanish at Antwerp University. That summer of 1965 I spent 6 weeks as a paying guest with a family in Santander on the Costa Cantábrica, following courses at Las Llamas University during the day. It was also the year that I fell in love with a boy for the first time. Two of them actually .. and the experimenting, inexperienced young individual that I was back then couldn't make up his mind. The end of the summer class and my return to Brussels took the decision for me. I finished my studies in Belgium and took up teaching Spanish in evening classes for a while before embarking on a carreer in Advertising, PR, Marketing and Government Relations. I didn't commit to a permanent relationship until I was almost 30 and I'm happy to report that 40 years on it's still going strong. He's not Spanish ... but loving and caring and a joy to be with ... and that's enough to take you through life. Today I still regularly travel to Spain ... but I never returned to Santander nor did I ever hear back from those summer romances. Thank God that fate was watching over me !

Visiting Granada first with a girlfriend and then many years later again with my wife certainly left different impressions. But memories of the beauty of the Alhambra remained.
And while I did not remember the mala follá from the first time, I did the second time, relating it however more to an attitude towards tourists as you can find in other cities and countries as well.

Unfortunatelly Granada is not really the place for monogamists and i am sure that even if you dont know that on advance you go there and find out.I believe you capture the essence of the city beautifully and it took me years back,thank you!

I'm from Granada. Let me explain you what "mala follá" really is, because it has nothing to do with apathy or economic reasons. Mala folla is just a general state of mind and behaviour towards others by which you feel disgusted or picky towards anything that may potentially bother you. Hence, is something very similar to the that kind of "new yorker anger" that is well-known in the US.

An example: this evening a worker was cleaning the street with a pressure washer (karcher type) and an old woman was passing by. The worker diverted the pedestrian circulation with some cones and tape, buy inevitably some water drops were sprayed over the passing people (a minimum amount, because he wasn't pointing towards anybody). She said something like: "Watch out! I'm getting soaked, boy!". He replied in a very scornful way, without even making eye contact, saying: "Yeah, you are drowning for sure. Go and get an oilsking, you are needing it". She resumed walking in a very angry mood, but no argument broke out.

To sum up... that is what "mala folla" really means. People from Granada often feel disgusted and behave in a very mean manner towards others for no reason. We accept that, because it's just the way people is here. No offence intended.

"At first we imagined this practiced detachment was a legacy of Franco, and of socialism — a reluctance to participate in capitalism?"

WHAT!? Seriously, it´s amazing the extrange perception that people from US has about capitalism/socialism. It looks like when you hear about socialism you imagine something like North Korea o Stalin´s URSS O___o this is not socialism, this is dictatorship.
Socialism doesn´t has to mean unhappyness as US radical capitalism isn´t a wonder.

"Malafollá granaína" (bad mood from Granada) is not unhappines, is an attitud about life, is something similar to be "grumpy" and "picky". Granada, during rennaisance was repopulated by people mainly from Castilla (wich are curt, serious and less expresive people) and in 18th century by germans and other people from central-north europe, so... this explains the historical background wich generates this characteristical personality from Granada.

I didn't go to Spain with a lover, nor acquired one there: it left my heart wide open to fall in love with Spain herself for an unforgettable year. This story captures her charms perfectly.

Not bad. But nothing of this sort will ever equal the last chapter of Hemingway's "Death in the Afternoon."

Really lovely & evocative essay. I will be checking out Alexander Chee's other books.

Spain looks like such a beautiful place but often beauty kinda has hidden pains,what do you think?

I enjoyed reading about Granada in this very evocative essay by Alexander Chee. It's a place I have not yet seen, though I spent time in Spain some years ago, for some reason it has eluded me. Lots of intriguing details here: the dead roses in Lorca's house, the expression of 'malla folla' on the faces of Granadians, (and yes, I do remember those indifferent Spaniards). Shame about the relationship - makes me wonder what happened next. Perhaps it was a little too textbook perfect to begin with: 'good in bed, funny at dinner, smart about books' a literary gay man's very own Stepford wife! Only this had a mind of her own and went a roving. Lovely piece.

In college, I spent a year in Barcelona and traveled a lot, including to Granada. I went to push back the onset of employment (I already had my B.A.) and to fall in love with a Spaniard, the best way, I believed, to ward off an ordinary life. That didn't happen, but I cherish the time I spent immersed in the sheer pleasure that is Spain. Alexander Chee's delicate essay is beautiful. Thank you.

I thoroughly enjoyed this story and it brings back so many memories of the time I spent in Granada. Wonderful writing!