Learning to Sing Again

As a singer and a soprano, this makes me sad and so very heppy that there is at least a partial happy ending. For me, there is no greater joy than singing, and no greater worry when I could not sing -- literally was unable to sing -- due to 3 surgeries requiring intubation in 12 days. I developed a node on my vocal cord, which an ENT glibbly informed me was because of "silent GERD," as if the trauma of the intubations was of no importance. I spent 6 months on voice rest, and am just beginning to get my full voice back. How I wish I'd been with the author in that chapel!

Welcome back to sining!

Making music with one's own body is an exquisite joy. I'm so happy that you've found your way to this. Thanks for writing.

Oh, Anne Kaier, you were my professor at Bryn Mawr for the survey of British poetry my freshman year. When I said I wanted to teach, too, you warned me "You'll be able to paper a living room with rejection letters," and of course you were right, and knowing that helped me persevere. I am delighted by the thought of your singing, and of you, singing. After getting the second promotion in my mid-forties I began studying the cello as a way to be with people, and it has brought singing back into my life at a time when I need it. Thank you for the memories and the reminder.

How lovely to read this! It is such an upbeat column, so self-affirming, and elegantly written, too.

What a wonderful essay in so many ways. I also sang in a choir in my childhood and even into young adulthood, but acid reflux has taken my voice away - I think. Now that I'm reading this, I may reconsider. Beautiful - thank you.

The human spirit conquering our, by force, physical limitations. My hat off!

I wanted to cry when I got to the part about school. I am from a family of singers: my brothers were tenor and baritone, my sisters alto & soprano. I sang too, but when I tried to join the school choir, the director made me sing scales in front of 180 fellow students. I had/have fear of public speaking, so the notes that came out were week and off-key. He told the whole choir that I was "tone-deaf," and had me stand between the altos and tenors so my voice would be drowned out. Someday, if I have the time and $$, I would like to have a voice coach help me find a way to sing on-key,even just for me.

ANNE KAIER Has shared a story of great courage, rare beauty and the ecstatic rejoining of her voice in her expression of joy and love. As an avid amateur musician who has studied extensively, i can identify with the thrill of rediscovering parts of my musical self I had literally lost. Several years ago I bought a harpsichord and studied it with the most amazing teacher I have ever experienced. I had to discontinue lessons due to family emergencies. When we were discussing a piece on day she said to me, You know what, you could compose music. I'd forgotten that when I was about 13 I had composed a mazurka, had gotten a scholarship to play the organ and had co-composed a choral piece that was performed when I was in high school. I tried my hand again at composing with mixed results. But I deepened and expanded my musical skills, learning a great deal from watching masterpieces you YouTube at musanim.com. I finally learned how to practice correctly and gained a greater appreciation for the structure of the music that I had loved. Experienced with passion always, now with a greater understanding of how the masters put their ideas together. My struggle since childhood has been with depression. i'm like a diabetic with my antidepressant. Fortunately, my mood level is stable, unlike the shifting sugar levels diabetics have to navigate. I, too, reencountered and strengthened my connection with music, a passion for which flooded into my soul in my grandparents' shul.

The cruelest thing we do to one another is to make ourselves self conscious- and therefore reluctant- to laugh or sing out loud. It is good to do both!

So uplifting to read your story, thank you for this ray of light in difficult times.

Ms. Kaier, thank you for sharing your story with us. Every person needs to be able to create beauty for themselves and to enjoy it no matter what their particular problems are. May you always hear your self singing and, in so doing, sing.

Singing to yourself opens doors of perception to your inner persona - and you'll be amazed at what lies hidden in there. Let it out, for pure enjoyment! Nothing to do with esoteric philosophy, just everyday experience. Thanks for this!

I cried after I read this. Singing is the most transcendent thing I have ever done. I have not sung with a group for 7 years now for a variety of circumstances, but it will always be the activity that gives me the most joy. Thank you for reminding me.

I wanted to sing as a child, but my mother told me to stop. This desire lay dormant until years after college, when I decided to try again. Many lessons were needed, since I had never learned how to sing. Persistence had its rewards; I loved singing so much that I took 2 year off to study music full time. Now I teach adults to sing who can't even match a pitch when they start, who have been told that they can't sing. I am convinced that anyone who enjoys listening to music can be taught to sing. I am sad that music has become a spectator sport, a commodity that we purchase rather create ourselves. To create music with one's own voice is one of life's greatest joys.

I don't sing; at least not in public. It all started about 45 years ago when I was in the second grade and the music teacher stopped playing the piano and thereby stopped my class from singing and said one of the girls sounded like a boy. After going through all the girls she pinpointed me and told me not to join in. Thus, my singing pursuits (not that I had any at the time) were quashed. I'm very shy about singing in public to this day: I just mouth the words if I find myself singing a hymn at a church service. Oh well. Great article BTW.

Beautiful in so many ways. Thank you for sharing this.

I'm a voice teacher. Stories like this one breaks my heart; it's a story I hear over and over from people who say, "I can't sing." My answer to them is, "Who said so?" Usually the reply is, "A sister/brother," "A friend," but the worse of all, "A teacher." When my husband was going through puberty and his voice was changing, a priest told him, "Just mouth the words; don't sing." He shut up and wouldn't sing again till he met me, some 20 years later.

It has been my experience, choir directors are usually pretty clueless on how the voice actually works. All they seem to care about is making the sound blend. That's why there's the current drive to make everyone sing straight tone -- so they don't have to deal with competing vibratos. Very lazy approach, and it's hard on the singers who don't know how to do it correctly.

The joy I see on people's faces when they finally open up and "let it out" is why I teach voice. I congratulate this writer on listening to her friend and taking that first step into vocal freedom.

The world would be a much better place if people only sang.

Beautiful!

Thank you for this lesson! You've also found a way to be with other people, to become an important part of a human group, in a very profound way.

I spent my youth studying music, voice in particular. I loved singing and it brought me a kind of transcendent joy. But after the birth of my second child I stopped singing. It was a combination of factors -- debilitating back surgeries, work and a son who didn't want to hear me sing. For 30 years I didn't sing; my vocal chords atrophied. And something important to me was simply missing. Last year after I retired from teaching law, I started singing lessons at the local university's community music school. My atrophied vocal chords started to awaken; my voice started to recover some of the beauty it once had. I rediscovered a dormant part of my soul. Like the author of this article I found that it is never too late, even with disabilities to sing.

Is there anything more therapeutic than throwing your head back and singing unselfconsciously? Congratulations on finding your voice again.

I've been thinking of finding a choir to sing in. You have inspired me.

Thank you for sharing your story. From another singer with a (less severe) skin condition- keep on singing!

Singing is one of my joys; this article resonates.

Thank you for a beautiful piece that has meaning for me and I suspect, many others.