‘Big Little Lies’ and the Art of Empathy

Apr 02, 2017 · 90 comments
William Apt (Austin TX)
I just watched the entire season the other day on a return flight from Europe. How anyone can say a negative word about this series is beyond me. Everything - the acting, writing, directing, photography, editing - is remarkable. And then there is the sea, slowly washing back and forth, like the story itself.
SF_Reader (San Francisco, CA)
Although the environment - like the beautiful glass houses each of the women (except Jane) dwelled in - was over the top, the series was an excellent presentation of the book in the sense that it gave each actor the chance to fully interpret the character. The acting was brilliant from all the cast (one of Nicole Kidman's best performances), and look forward to more series like this from HBO.
Lisa (Cincinnati, OH)
This was an amazing cast and a great script. Reading the book currently. Also very good. Please give us more female centric plots with great female actors!! Please! And have a female reporter do the next review. Or at least someone who can understand how a kid could strangle another kid. James Poniewozik must not have spent much time on the playground. Working too much probably.
Jennifer (Florida)
I wondered why this review seemed a bit tone deaf.
MBR (University Place, Wa)
I liked it very much, although I wish -- especially with Madeline's character -- that more scenes from the book had been included. Also, I'm not sure why there was so much emphasis on the play -- and why an affair was created for Madeline. Still, it was a treat to see such terrific acting, and I hope there will be more like this from HBO.
Lauren (NYC)
I'm not sure I totally agree with the review. This was about being imperfect, but wanting to appear perfect--so much so that you would endure almost anything. The pressure on women is intense.

That said, this show was AMAZING, as was the acting. Let's hope this results in more shows produced by women, ABOUT women, and with female stars of all ages.
HOOVER (<br/>)
It was entertaining, cleverly filmed and gorgeous. But I hate be that person but I liked the book so much more as is the case very often for me. More depth of characters and detail.
jeremyp (florida)
Rich, shallow people, with only one character who elicits empathy. Shallow plot, meandering in numerous directions. It's only attraction, apart from the Stars, was it's glossy, sets and classy soundtrack. It opens with a soulful song, but never delivers more than a voyeuristic thrill.
Jen (Petaluma, CA)
"…performative parenting among the ostensibly laid-back grows organic and free-range." Living in "butter and eggs" land of Sonoma County, Northern California, this is spot on for the obsessive, perfection driven parenting that I watch on a daily basis and calls to mind Jennifer Senior's recent book All Joy and No Fun: The Paradox of Modern Parenthood.
Queens Grl (NYC)
IMO one of THE best new shows on TV. Love all the leads, writing direction and story lines. Justice has been served by the season's end and boy was it enjoyable. Just desserts one might add. Looking forward to season 2 should there be one.
Barry Ellman (Scotch Plains, nj)
"Big Little Lies"....... "Housewifes of New York"..... such a contrast!

SO refreshing to see such talented actresses and actors work their craft and entertain us with deep seated, complex relationships rather then the shallow stuff we see on reality TV. Let's hope the end of "The Kardashians" is coming soon.

It is always wonderful to see real artistry, whether it be in art, sculpture, music or acting.

BRAVO!
Karl (Melrose, MA)
Robin Weigert was magnificent in the role of Celeste's therapist trying to connect her abused client with denied realities.

In some respects, it was an elaboration of a small but indelible role from earlier in her career, when she played the Mormon pioneer woman come-to-life from a diorama, in a pivotal scene with Mary Louise Parker, in HBO's film adaptation of Angels in America.
Shellbrav (Buckeye Az)
And she was great in deadwood as well.
Mark (<br/>)
Yea, so cool to see her in such a turn-a-bout role from Calamity Jane!
Jennifer (Florida)
That interaction was so smartly written. So good. Both she and Kidman were perfect.
Gwe (Ny)
I would want a second season for one reason, and one reason only.....

there are not enough series like this on television. Series that analyze the condition of actual American women of privilege. Devoid of the need to work, these women isolate both the stereotypes we are subjected to and the roles we are expected to play. I struggle with this in my own life and thus enjoyed the series......
Tkpk20911 (Takoma Park MD)
It was fine. Photography was beautiful. The characters were 2 dimensional at best. It was a missed opportunity. Again showing women in a light of impossible beauty and still flawed with all the attributes women are perpetually accused of.

I don't want more women obsessed with perfection and perceptions. I want Last Tango in Halifax women, Hapoy Valley women, Prime Suspect women. what is the point of creating a vehicle for women if it does nothing to portray women in a different light. I expected more from HBO and David E Kelley.
Shellbravq (Buckeye Az)
This series was adapted from a book. It's not original content.
Nan (Canada)
But it was so obvious that Perry would be the rapist. Enjoyed the series, but wish there had been more of a twist.
Kally (Kettering)
Was he actually the rapist? Or was this more of Jane's paranoid imagination? It seemed he was far too hung up on Celeste to be Jane's rapist, more that Jane recognized a type. If there were clues that indicate he really was the rapist (his shoes?), let me know, because I didn't see it this way.
Gail (Beaufort)
I totally agree with Kally that Jane's reaction was more to Perry's PTSD-triggering behavior in that moment with Celeste, and probably to Celeste's fear, which Jane would also recognize, and which could cause her to flashback. It seemed so unlikely that Perry was really the guy who raped Jane (a guy who was also married to/abusing one of her only two new friends in a new town she'd just moved to? AND who was the father of the REAL bully her son was falsely accused of being?) that I interpreted her response as a pretty common one for survivors of sexual violence, which is a sort of predator-dar. It seems especially likely given that she had just had the experience of being prepared to kill "Saxon" when she went to meet him and had been trying to convince herself and others that Ziggy didn't have his father's violent DNA. That said, I may be giving too much credit to a show that had many merits, but subtlety was not among them.
Ellen (nyc)
I found it believable that Perry was Jane's rapist. Celeste had been having miscarriages and was possibly pregnant then with the twins (the boys are all about the same age - first graders) Perry might have gone looking for another woman to take out his rage on.
Gail Gibson (Seattle)
James,

You are so entirely off of the mark on this. There should have been at the very least a female perspective on this! You just don't get it.
Acid Black (Boston suburbs)
I'm a man. I enjoyed the show! Never been a fan of Kidman but was impressed with her performance. Loved Reece since Legally Blond! The kids were great too! Call me sexist, but I wanted one of their idiot husbands to see what was happening and off Perry. But Bonnie did it. Perhaps I'll read the book after I finish the Clancy and Lee Child novels in the queue.
gopher1 (minnesota)
I read the book and was interested in what David Kelly would do with the material. I have two quibbles with the series. I found Madeline's affair unnecessary and kind of cruel to the character of Ed. Second, I realize I'm in the minority, I thought casting Laura Dern as Renata was uninspired. It was a Laura Dern performance of a Laura Dern character.
JJ (Chicago)
The men were good too...Alexander Skarsgard and Adam Scott especially.
MPS (Philadelphia)
I differ from most of the comments. This was a show that easily could have been much better in 2 hours. There was too much sophomoric visual symbolism and the lighting for many scenes was poor. This detracted from the actors' efforts and made me struggle to see their faces. I certainly have seen people who resemble these characters, but I try to avoid them. Watching them for seven hours was very challenging and had no reward for me as a viewer. It's difficult to watch a long form show when all of the characters have so few likable traits.
E (California)
Then why did u watch it??
MPS (Philadelphia)
I kept waiting for it to improve. It didn't, but I tried to keep an open mind.
Jan (Oregon)
I would have given up the murder intrigue for more of the series. It was humorous at times, with the recognition of me and some acquaintances in the mix, along with the attendant guilt. My envy however was limited to the stemware and the views. Let's have more of this please! A great team!
Dena M (NY)
Began watching the series late and had to slowly catch up. Totally taken in.
Well acted and believable. I looked forward to each new episode with all the drama about these women their children, families and their lives.
The final episode was intense. Very emotional. I congratulate them on all their efforts. I will miss them all.
Sara T. (Boulder CO)
The finale was haunting . . . I woke up in the middle of the night afterwards feeling devastated. Not a good choice for late night Sunday viewing . . . as Kidman said, it is a visceral viewing experience. But I loved these women and loved seeing them come together in the end . . . the trifecta of Dern, Kidman and Witherspoon was a tour de force. The finale wrapped everything up pretty tightly, but I wish there was more.
Queens Grl (NYC)
Judging from the last scene from the detective vantage point it looks like there just might be a second season.
SD (LA)
I loved this show. All the actresses, superb ... as a great fan of In Treatment, an actor's Master class, I thought the nuance and quiet of the therapy scenes with Kidman and Weigart was amazing.
So my only teeny real world quibble is - I never saw this as a Monterey set of women. Malibu, yes -- LA yes, maybe Silicon Valley ... but I know Monterey / Carmel and I think Shailene Woodley's character ( out of Santa Cruz) reps the much more laid back, less glam gal who resides in Monterey/Carmel/Highlands areas.
Or maybe things have changed in the part of the Pacific ... except for the beauty of it.
ling84 (California)
Agreed, in real life, people in this socioeconomic class probably would have chosen to live in Atherton or Woodside, or even Marin county. It's telling that none of the fancy houses were actually located in Monterey. I forgave the misleading location since it gave us lots of gorgeous unique Monterey scenery.
Penny (Bay Area)
Loved the show. Was disappointed with certain aspects of the finale. In terms of creating a more robust narrative structure, I wish that there had been hints that Perry was Saxon, Jane's rapist. Not obvious hints that we would have picked up on at the time. But I love that satisfaction of looking back at a series or a movie and saying, "Ooohhh....." and you put the pieces together about how it was there but you didn't see it. In this case, the only hint was a similar physicality and men who like violent sex. Also, is this why Jane moved to Monterey? Did she have a hint that he might be there?
Really People (New York, NY)
Spoiler from the book.

From what I recall from the book, Jane saw him looking up houses in the area the night of the rape.
Emily (Texas)
Yes, the book does give some additional hints, one being the brochure for houses in the city. Another is that Saxon Banks, the name Perry gave her, in the book is the name of Perry's cousin.
Vladimir Kobsev (Moscow, Russia)
I find it funny but nonetheless incredibly satisfying that only after Ms Kidman went to television did people notice how great she is at portraying smart, complex, deeply nuanced characters. And she's almost 50! I encourage people to go and watch her in Birth, Dogville, or Margot at the Wedding. Those are the movies where her "Celeste" comes from.
E (California)
I lived that life and this is an unfortunate state that many well educated women of the upper class in the U.S.and Europe aspire to.
I am an older boomer and had 2 children 5 years apart. That put me into the mommy pool with 2 separate generations. With my first child the moms were actually older like Renata and 12 years later (after H.S. grad) we r all in contact.
With my younger child my life was a copy of the series. It was a younger generation of Boomers who never struggled with women's rights and just felt entitled. I fear that this group created Millennials the way Celeste feared her husband's behavior might create a monster son.
Louise (Val des Monts)
A lot has been written about Ms Kidman, and rightly so, but I want to give a shout-out to Shailene Woodley for making us love her so much.

So many great moments! From the time that Ziggy makes his mom pull the car over to help the injured Madeline, setting up Ziggy as a kind child, even as she begins to doubt his innocence as the abuse of Amabella continues. Her ferocious love for him in spite of the rape. Her delight in his talent and humour, yet tinged with sadness.

Her own evolution from rage and wanting to shoot her rapist, and doing it many times in her fantasies, to berating herself for almost shooting a stranger whom she suspects of being her rapist. That marked a turning point for her character and demarcated a new life beyond the rape.

I loved how she almost rolled her eyes when Renata's husband threatened her, knowing that she and Renata had already made their peace, and that she holds the truth about the abuser. And I loved that Tom steps in to rescue her when she's already handling the situation well, but then is really there for her later after she faces down Perry and does need comfort. Tom has been in love with her for a long time but she hadn't been ready to see it. (Bravo to Tom for his amusement at besting Gordon, and Gordon's petty reaction.)

In Ms Woodley's eyes we saw the rape, Perry's violence, his son's violence, her son's kindness, that her friend is married to this monster, and sharing it all with her friends without a word. Brava!
Ken Hughes (Arlington VA)
All five actresses playing the mothers were marvelous. Shailene Woodley is so talented at such a young... It's almost frightening. The actress who played Nicole Kidman's therapist was also superb. I wish there were more mini-series and movies that portrayed the inner lives of women so well and intelligently. I hope Ms. Kidman and Ms. Witherspoons will continue to executive produce such high quality work. The courage, love, and solidarity of these women in facing down Perry together was magical and inspired.
Pocopazzo (North Northwest)
I was impressed by Ms. Woodley's performance, too. It was subtle and very natural IMO.
DD (NY)
Definitely the highlight, agreed. It was a book club read for me that I never finished. I found many things implausible...I don't buy for a second that Madeline would have admitted her affair to her 16 years old. The father being "proud" of his daughters decision to auction of her virginity for charity, um, NO. Absolutely ZERO chemistry between Ed and Madeline...no surprise she wandered. Nothing about the relationship between Celeste and Perry rang true for me, though Nicole was wonderful, as usual. They are a rich, high profile couple. Would Jane never have seen them photographed before the party? Also, I find it very hard to imagine that any woman who was raped, brutally by a stranger, would choose to keep his child. All that said, I loved the ending...
MJ (<br/>)
The show was brilliant - I wish it didn't have to end. It so easily could have made the women two dimensional as they usually are portrayed on TV. Even the so-called "reality" shows with women on them are two dimensional: they play to stereotypes and are ultimately not reflective of real women. I love that each of the women was both likeable and unbearable at the same time. And the chorus was so horribly catty and ultimately turned the mirror on us, the viewers, to remind us that we can all be equally as shallow when only viewing a person through a limited lens. More of this, please!
jdm (NY)
Nicole Kidman is amazing - her performance in Lion was incredible and now this! Reese, too, was wonderful. We were so relieved it ended the way it did - tied into a nice little package! In real life in America today there are way too many unanswered questions and this is causing an abundance of stress - the ending to this show brought lovely closure and hope - Bravi to all who made it happen. Great TV!
Andrew (Connecticut)
I watched the first episode mainly because it was an HBO show, but had no expectations. By the end of the first episode I was hooked. Being from Connecticut I know these women, different versions obviously, but I see the judgment, the obsessive parenting, and the absurd extravagance every day. On every level I think the show hit the mark and the ending was not at all what I expected and the final scenes with all the women and kids on the beach was equally telling.

I certainly hope there is no second season. This was a stand-alone story that cannot be credibly rehashed. The basic theme can be redone I suppose, but not with these characters, it would only lessen the impact.
Kate Berg (New York)
It's based on a book. There is no second season.
Amy (Denver)
I enjoyed this series, and found Nicole Kidman's performance all season long to be nothing short of amazing. She is smart, loves her family, yet doubts herself and fears the man she married. I love Laura Dern in everything, and I figured that her character had to have redemption and be more thoughtful, or Ms. Dern would not have taken the role. (And I'm showing my age by admitting that every time Bonnie came on screen I'd instantly think "That's Lisa Bonet.")

The Greek Chorus of witnesses was fantastic and a very clever update, and I like that it was even an unreliable chorus at times. Other times they were simply hilarious. "We are reviewing our alcohol policy for school functions."

With all of that, I hope that there is not a season 2. They told the story. Now that the women have a detente and a bond, there really isn't any reason to continue, other than producers wanting the money.
A B (Seattle)
Maybe a plot line with the spying female detective...
Ann (Towson, MD)
An excellent analysis of an excellent series. I identified with the pressure, judgement and fear the characters experienced with respect to their children. It mirrored my life and my community in the '90's . It makes me sad that the women of my generation couldn't see beyond our lives to the legacy we were handing the mothers of the next generations.
stephen (savannah,GA.)
Well, since the entire series was based on a stand alone novel, I would hope that this could be a one time series. It doesn't need a second season.
RS (Beachwood Oh)
I agree they should end the story.
Claire Stancampiano (Vermont)
I hate-watched the first episode of this show for a good laugh, and it ended up being one of the best series I've seen on HBO. A masterful portrayal of feminism in a misogynistic world dominated by power, control and entitlement. I can't wait to read Ms. Moriarty's book!
jdm (NY)
Same!!!!!
fastfurious (the new world)
Far from perfect but I loved everything about it.
Ella (New York, NY)
Did Bonnie really need a special motivation beyond noticing what was happening and taking the necessary initiative?
robin (new jersey)
The book provided Bonnie's motivation.
JKF (NYC)
In the book, Bonnie was abused as a child. When she saw Perry hurting Celeste, that all kicked in and she ran at him.
Ship Lair (NY,NY)
Totally agree.
Mel (Detroit)
*spoilers*
Were we to understand that Perry, not Saxon, was Jane's rapist and used the fake name? I thought it was Perry from the beginning!
I wish this show could continue!
JKF (NYC)
Yes. In fact, I thought those silent minutes were among the most powerful of the series, when Jane registered the fact that Perry was 'Saxon', and the women saw her, exchanged glances, reached an unspoken consensus and then went at him. I don't remember if she saw him earlier in the season, at school, e.g.
KHE (San Diego)
This was the first time Jane had seen Perry... but more importantly the first time she heard him. That's why she remembered... she heard his voice
LHan (NJ)
Excellent program. Last Episode the most suspenseful TV in a while. All acting great especially Nicole and Reese.
The five coming together at the gala and then on the beach was wonderful.
ekhilton (Houston)
I enjoyed this analysis, and I've read many of them so far from various sources. The "judgement" angle rings true for me. As a woman who has chosen to remain child-free, I was gleefully judging the heck out these women! "Why so obsessed with your offspring like they're some precious Gods who make the world rotate and then you cease to exist?" But I don't live in that world or share that burden, and "the view is always better from the cheap seats." Had I made other choices, it would likely be hard NOT to succumb to this child-obsessed culture that pervades every aspect of society today, because then I'd be judged just as badly for not "performing," and that sucks.
Liz (<br/>)
Rape. Use the word "rape." Shailene Woodley's character was raped. Nicole Kidman's character was raped.
Sabrina (California)
I thought it was interesting that they chose Monterey (the book was set in Bondi Beach in Australia). As a resident of a wildly affluent coastal suburb of Los Angeles, it easily could have been set in my town. "Fetishizing the beach" is spot on. So much "aren't we SO lucky to have such perfect lives and be so fortunate." But a lot of sadness, emptiness, and bad marriages underneath. And let's not even discuss the mom social scene.
Kate Gunn (Myanmar/Australia)
I always took the location in the book as more northern beaches - maybe Avalon.
Jane moved from Newtown and you get the sense she is a long way from where she use to live and where her parents currently live.
I felt the characters were much more northern beaches than eastern suburbs.
Zoe (NJ)
Fantastic review and fantastic series. It had me totally hooked. Let's hope there will be more!?
justC (new york)
It's well into the morning after this finale and it is still haunting me, and this comes from someone who read the book so I knew "who done it." Still, the tv series adaptation was phenomenal. The performances of the actors was stellar, especially Kidman. I am in awe of her talent. Both the book and this series were so revealing of the violence women still face at the hands of men they should be able to trust. I appreciate the author, Moriarty, and HBO pulling back the curtain on all that glimmers and shines to reveal the raw ugliness that lies behind. Well done.
Zeya (VA)
While Big Little Lies portrayed the complex dynamics of domestic violence in a laudable way, I really wish the mini-series would have included a link at the end of each episode (or the series finale) to the National Domestic Violence Hotline (NDVH) for any victims/survivors who might need help in accessing safety and supportive resources. The NDVH is available 24/7 in over 170 languages. And confidential support is available at www.thehotline.org or 1-800-799-7233/1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
jv (Philadelphia)
The moment in the climactic scene when Jane recognizes her rapist, and Madeline, and then Celeste recognize that she has, is superb. Wonderful wordless acting.
jdm (NY)
Agreed! Beautifully done.
Robert in Brasil (Brasil)
Best acting without words in a long, long time! but it shows just how well developed the characters were. And wonderful performances from women that I never appreciated enough. But will now! Amazing!
Meg8 (LA)
I loved the book but was afraid this would be a soapy version. I was wrong! I was moved by the deep reflections on the trauma that women face from violence, judgment, guilt and the unrelenting pressure to keep EVERYTHING running perfectly even though no one could. Lots to think about, and some terrific performances, especially from Kidman and Skarsgard.
doug (tomkins cove, ny)
Has a show ever caused me to detest a community and population more than this program? If I were a citizen of Monterey I'd like to think I would be a little chagrined about how my town was presented.
I found the confrontation scene on the patio during trivia night surprising and perplexing a bit. When Jane registered shock, fear and revulsion at seeing Perry and putting 2+2 together my first reaction was- this can't be the first time she's seen him- after mulling it over I realized that with all Perry's travels that was in fact the case, still I will watch the series again to confirm my conclusion.
Hope there isn't a second season, it was hard enough putting up with the obnoxious parents and self absorbed brats this time.
ling84 (California)
If it makes you feel any better, the real-life Monterey is still a working-class tourist town, with all of the lovely beaches but none of the fancy huge glass houses. Those are all located in Malibu in real life.
Ken Calvey (Huntington Beach, Ca.)
Why Bonnie? It seemed like any of the women could have given the push, but why her?
Betti (New York)
In the book, Bonnie has a history of domestic abuse from her father who battered her mother. When she see Perry attacking Celeste she cracks and pushes him down the stairs.
Sandy Matuschak (St. Louis)
It reminded her of her childhood abuse by father. It's in the book and think it should have been explained, but perhaps not as think they made the ending more about the women being there for each other and the book ending was a bit different
Pocopazzo (North Northwest)
I liked the sound editing that linked one scene to another (Citizen Kane-esque). At one point, I thought Jane would off the teacher-moron. Too bad it's over!
fran soyer (ny)
I liked how Perry's requiem was Trump's rally song. Tied the whole thing together.
Betti (New York)
Really? How telling! I found the 'elimination' of Perry by these women who banded together to defend another woman to be an analogy of what is happening now with Trump. And Alex Skarsgard in an interview compared Perry's dealth scene to a predator being killed by several dogs: one dog would never be able to kill the predator, but all of them together have the power to do away with it.
lucyjune (newport beach, ca)
I thought the acting, aside from Ms Kidman, was below par. Ms Dern and even Ms Witherspoon seemed forced. Ms Woodley, for having had her son accused of continuous bullying, seemed quite passive and wooden. The homes were what I liked best. Sorry
MAS (New England)
Spoilers. I watched the last hour wondering how they were going to introduce Bonnie's motivation. They didn't. It still worked as a series but for those of us who knew which character got offed and "why" there wasn't much of a cliff-hanger other than how it was going to get resolved in one final episode.

More interesting, and transparent, was the final shot. A second season must be coming.
DW (Rancho Mirage)
I certainly hope there won't be another season of this show. It was pretty good and Ms. Kidman was spectacular but there must be other stories.
S Anne Johnson (Oakland. CA)
They communicated Bonnie's motivation without saying a word about it. I haven't read the book, but I understood from the moment that Bonnie began tracking Perry's violence toward Celeste at the fundraiser that Bonnie had a history with domestic violence. She saw Perry be rough with Celeste, who was not of any special importance to Bonnie, and was on it from that moment. You were to know from Bonnie's reaction that she had a special sensitivity to the violence born of personal experience. Also, how she just charged Perry, yelling, "Stop it!" Brilliant filmmaking--and acting--that communicated so much.
Maxine Durst (Chicago, IL)
Have read there might be a second season. Hope so..
Ed Bogus (LA)
Was always a limited series, never was there a 2nd season planned.
nj (Madison, WI)
This review made me love the series even more. Outstanding, all the way around. Thanks especially to Kidman and Witherspoon for bringing this to the fore and for superb performances. Brava!