Really? Somebody actually had to spend money to verify "Happy Wife - Happy Life"? This has to be the most incredibly self evident study undertaken in the history of personkind.
Where is the illustration credit on the phone app??
Nothing worse than a grumpy hubby...
Especially if the happy spouse is one's self.
2
You needed a study for this? Anyone with life experience, relationships, and common sense recommends the same thing.
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But how do you distinguish cause and effect? It's likely the spouse of a healthy person will be happier than the spouse of someone really ill.
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Happiness is a personal choice.
Abe Lincoln said it first, "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
Abe Lincoln said it first, "People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be."
8
Your comment disregards the entire disease of major depression. I'm delighted for you that you don't suffer from this dreaded disease, but for those of us who do, happiness is not a "choice." It is a dream and an unattainable one at that.
Please try not to condemn others who suffer from illnesses from which you yourself are free.
Please try not to condemn others who suffer from illnesses from which you yourself are free.
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That's true if you carve out treatment-resistant depressive illness, which afflicted a number of members of my family of origin, not all of whom survived it.
And good old-fashioned bad luck can also destroy the happiness of people generally inclined to that state. For example, it took years for my best friend's wonderful, upbeat family to feel happy again after the shocking sudden death of his teen brother at the hand of a drunken truck driver.
No, upon reflection, happiness is not always a personal choice. Being judgmental, however, is.
And good old-fashioned bad luck can also destroy the happiness of people generally inclined to that state. For example, it took years for my best friend's wonderful, upbeat family to feel happy again after the shocking sudden death of his teen brother at the hand of a drunken truck driver.
No, upon reflection, happiness is not always a personal choice. Being judgmental, however, is.
8
Interesting Lincoln quote Janice...did not hear that one and I am a student of Lincoln.
I am a believer in the "equality of life" theory....ie...everybody gets an equal amount of "happiness" and "unhappiness".
I put the above in quotes because it is not what we humans think what happiness is but what nature or God does. In other words I could think I am very happy but don't realize I have less happiness than the average person. Only God and/or nature knows.
Lincoln had another quote...and I am paraphrasing him....we have shown we can endure great hardships and survive.
The person who gets a bad deal ie disabling sickness endures and finds happiness in other ways. God and or nature help them with this.
I am a believer in the "equality of life" theory....ie...everybody gets an equal amount of "happiness" and "unhappiness".
I put the above in quotes because it is not what we humans think what happiness is but what nature or God does. In other words I could think I am very happy but don't realize I have less happiness than the average person. Only God and/or nature knows.
Lincoln had another quote...and I am paraphrasing him....we have shown we can endure great hardships and survive.
The person who gets a bad deal ie disabling sickness endures and finds happiness in other ways. God and or nature help them with this.
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I'm pretty happy and have a wonderful wife.
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Well..Brad, that very well may be true but it is up to God or nature to make the call and if you believe in the equality of life theory like I do, you have other downsides in your life or will in the future..
It all equals out in the end imo....
It all equals out in the end imo....
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Who was unhappy first?
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A HAPPY WIFE IS A HAPPY LIFE!!!
A HAPPY HUSBAND
A HAPPY HUSBAND
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So where do I get myself a happy husband? Wal-Mart? These 'studies' are so much baloney. Just more propoganda to build up the overinflated egos of smug married people, while at the same time making unmarried people feel like failures because they don't have anyone!
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that's so sad desertrose!
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Or you could be married to someone who has depression and anxiety and my practitioners keeps saying (when I asked them for a referral for him, and they said, "No, you can't change him, this sounds dangerous, YOU need to leave), "It sounds like he has narcissistic personality disorder."
Being single just might be better.
Being single just might be better.
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no study applies in all cases. Studies just identify trends and groupings. So, this study doesn't apply to you. Your n of 1 applies only to you. But your assertion that your experience invalidates the experiences of others (proven in this study) indicates your anti-intellectualism and a frustratingly egocentric view of the world. Just curious - are you a trump supporter?
Well, duh! :)
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My mother lived until 102 and for the last 30 years of her life, she was a widow. Never sick. Please explain that...
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We are centenarians on both sides--& suspect it has to do w/ certain arrangements of engineerable adenine, guanine, cytosine & thymine.
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Dorothy...you just hit upon the endless combos of happiness and unhappiness, ie longer life is probably a reward for unhappiness. Your mother lost a spouse which is usually never good but nature/God rewarded her with health and long life.
Women on average live longer than men. This could be because men generally have a little more happiness in their lives and pay for it with shorter lives.
Women on average live longer than men. This could be because men generally have a little more happiness in their lives and pay for it with shorter lives.
If a happy spouse is good for your health, then can you imagine what the death of a spouse can do to your health. It is not surprising that, especially in the elderly, a widow or widower frequently die within a year of the loss of their husband or wife.
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Exactly. After 35 years of marriage, our moods are intertwined so much that when one of us is traveling away from home, the other can tell how the other one is feeling.
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Spooky action at a distance. Einstein knew all about this.
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A new, ten year study indicates the sun rises in the east. A new study just launched to research where it sets.
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It's obvious that a spouse's happiness would likely correlate with one's own happiness. It is not obvious, however, that it would correlate with one's own health outcomes. This study examines the latter issue.
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great article
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Then if you marry someone who has a chronic illness are you destined to be unhappy from the get go? There seems to be a constant tethering of happiness and health, which is an unfair picture to paint for all people with illnesses.
I have a chronic condition but am very upbeat and happy with my life. my husband knew he was marrying someone with a chronic illness from the time we were dating--it doesn't seem like he's suddenly become unhappy and unhealthy because of my health. I am more than just someone with ankylosing spondylarthropathy.
I don't believe all illnesses are equatable with one another--cancer vs arthritis or asthma for example. It makes sense that a couple dealing with a terminal illness would be dealing with unhappiness and stress which could lead to unhealthy eating, etc..
I think there are far too many variables for this to be a blanket statement about all couples dealing with illnesses.
I have a chronic condition but am very upbeat and happy with my life. my husband knew he was marrying someone with a chronic illness from the time we were dating--it doesn't seem like he's suddenly become unhappy and unhealthy because of my health. I am more than just someone with ankylosing spondylarthropathy.
I don't believe all illnesses are equatable with one another--cancer vs arthritis or asthma for example. It makes sense that a couple dealing with a terminal illness would be dealing with unhappiness and stress which could lead to unhealthy eating, etc..
I think there are far too many variables for this to be a blanket statement about all couples dealing with illnesses.
"Happy wife, happy life!"
Causation or correlation? It seems equally plausible that the causation arrow points the other way--an unhealthy spouse leads to less happiness.
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Might it be the other way around? I might be happier when my spouse is healthier and I don't have to do extra chores, push the wheelchair, etc.
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Ah you hit the magic button Liz... Happiness is not defined by man, it is defined by God and/or nature.
An example, somebody here can honestly feel they are happy, ie a happy spouse, happy home life but don't realize the guy next door has extremes highs and lows with happiness....ie...may fight all the time with their spouse but are free from physical sickness or can drink, smoke and take drugs with little effect on their life...etc....the parameters that go into happiness or unhappiness are endless...
An example, somebody here can honestly feel they are happy, ie a happy spouse, happy home life but don't realize the guy next door has extremes highs and lows with happiness....ie...may fight all the time with their spouse but are free from physical sickness or can drink, smoke and take drugs with little effect on their life...etc....the parameters that go into happiness or unhappiness are endless...
Okay... interesting... yet it seems particularly crucial that one is able to "be happy" on one's own, as well. A spouse is no guarantee.
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Bingo Fiona...you hit it on the head...a spouse guarantees nothing...other than having a spouse. You could be happy or unhappy with one or any number of endless combos in the middle.
Another study on heterosexual couples.
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Study simply mentioned "spouse," how is that limited to heterosexuals?
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They're all that matters evolutionary or morally.
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"Researchers used data from a survey of 1,981 heterosexual couples" - bagmind was correct. However, I believe all couples regardless of their sexual orientation (and I say this as a heterosexual woman who has been married for 33 years to a happy spouse) are happy or sad in the same way.
3
I've lived the last 4 years with a very moody, depressed spouse. He has all the money in the world, me, our children, and options to live or do whatever he wishes. None of that matters because his head isn't well. It's absolute hell trying to keep a family "afloat" when one of the parents is going through difficult and unhappy times. I often feel great envy when I am around my friends who have positive, upbeat husbands. I constantly have to remind myself to be compassionate and patient with my own. It is not easy.
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See a therapist at once for sikogenic aspects & a doc who can prescribe anti-depressants.
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You can't make a person who refuses treatment for depression take anti-depressants or even enter therapy. I have had to deal with what I call "second-hand depression" for years, until I was finally able to separate emotionally from my chronically depressed spouse.
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That must make for tough day to day living. I hope your spouse snaps out of it and realizes how good he has it.
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This is beyond obvious.
Anyone who has ever lived with someone they care about suffering from depression knows how hard it is to do so.
We are all codependent, it is part of what love is.
Anyone who has ever lived with someone they care about suffering from depression knows how hard it is to do so.
We are all codependent, it is part of what love is.
31
agreed - I've kept my partner happy for the last 25 years - and she's kept me healthy - literally - I pay her bills and she's a great cook as well as a great advisor. We laugh together every day.
an unhappy relationship - my previous job where I and my boss were like cat and dog - he barked, and I jumped - I hated it - unhappiness/stress in a relationship can raise cortisol levels which can damage tissues - like adrenaline is great in small doses but it too frequent doses is actually a highly toxic poison - no proof but I had a theory that resentment caused cancer.
they say happiness is associated with health and a longer life, so conversely unhappiness is probably associated with unhealthy shorter lives.
an unhappy relationship - my previous job where I and my boss were like cat and dog - he barked, and I jumped - I hated it - unhappiness/stress in a relationship can raise cortisol levels which can damage tissues - like adrenaline is great in small doses but it too frequent doses is actually a highly toxic poison - no proof but I had a theory that resentment caused cancer.
they say happiness is associated with health and a longer life, so conversely unhappiness is probably associated with unhealthy shorter lives.
14
My great-grandmother who was born in Russia and became an American died peacefully in her sleep at 98 years old. She had neither a happy spouse or an easy life. She struggled through The Depression raising 5 children, 2 died of breast cancer before reaching 40 leaving her children to raise when all her children were grown. She was very overweight, she grieved deeply over her the death of her children, she fought like the Tolstoy's with her husband, she adored me, said I was the joy of her life and we were extremely close. She ate the wrong foods, ate too much of them, sat for long hours every day when she was older and looked out the window on the world passing by. It "may" be good for your health but I'm so sick of reading health tweets like this one.
Health is truly a gift. I'm 60. I don't think that my spouse is responsible for making me happy inasmuch as that is my personal responsibility. I share this happiness with everyone around me and give generously of myself daily. What does "well-validated scales mean? If my spouse chose to engage in bad habits is this contagious like catching a cold? I think not. I haven't had one in nearly 30 years or anything else. I haven't taken an aspirin in over 30 years! I sleep 8 hours and feel joy during the day. I'm happy and so is my spouse but he has his own aches and pains even though we both have healthy lifestyles and he is younger than I am.
I'm looking forward to 100! Its in my GENES, not my happy spouse!
Health is truly a gift. I'm 60. I don't think that my spouse is responsible for making me happy inasmuch as that is my personal responsibility. I share this happiness with everyone around me and give generously of myself daily. What does "well-validated scales mean? If my spouse chose to engage in bad habits is this contagious like catching a cold? I think not. I haven't had one in nearly 30 years or anything else. I haven't taken an aspirin in over 30 years! I sleep 8 hours and feel joy during the day. I'm happy and so is my spouse but he has his own aches and pains even though we both have healthy lifestyles and he is younger than I am.
I'm looking forward to 100! Its in my GENES, not my happy spouse!
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Recom one 81-mg enteric aspirin per diem for cardiovascular &, for those w/family histories of cancer, intestinal prophylaxis.
4
Happy wife, happy wife. Common sense, says my husband :)
1
Happy wife: happy life.
1
It certainly helps when times are tough if your spouse is supportive. It helps to be able to share the good times too. However, in our country people tend to run from anyone who is not always happy, bubbling over with joy, and who has serious problems that cannot be solved in 10 minutes by reading a self help book. So sometimes we are better off alone, especially if we've seen the inside of an unhappy marriage as children or as an adult.
What we really need as human beings is to feel that we are worth caring for. What we need to be able to do is to care for others as well. There's no getting without giving back at some point. But again many, especially women, face the problem of being the caregivers with the husband running in the opposite direction if the wife doesn't come out of her funk soon enough for him.
What we really need as human beings is to feel that we are worth caring for. What we need to be able to do is to care for others as well. There's no getting without giving back at some point. But again many, especially women, face the problem of being the caregivers with the husband running in the opposite direction if the wife doesn't come out of her funk soon enough for him.
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humans need to feel worth caring for ?
I volunteer at child care and frequently observe tiny kids light up when they see me watching them - they want to show off their cartwheels skills, etc. - today a young girl looked a bit lost and lonely - when she saw me looking at her she suddenly lit up with a smile and started skipping happily towards me. So yeah - we need simple recognition and acknowledgement. Even eye contact - I usually don't say much - and they just love it.
I love to give compliments - a quick genuine compliment to a stranger usually lights up a big smile - some folk aver to give compliments saying 'I don't want them to get a big ego' - yet most people rarely get genuine compliments.
Wife in a funk ? Not sure what you mean - but it makes me think of wives who avoid the husband (stay out of my kitchen, etc.) to focus on the kids, and then wonders why one day he walks out and doesn't come back.
As Dr. Phil said - relationships are negotiated every day - and every day you ignore your man - is one day closer to him choosing to leave. Give him a genuine compliment - chances are he's rarely heard any from you - and watch him take a deep breath - make him feel good - and he'll want to stay - with you.
I volunteer at child care and frequently observe tiny kids light up when they see me watching them - they want to show off their cartwheels skills, etc. - today a young girl looked a bit lost and lonely - when she saw me looking at her she suddenly lit up with a smile and started skipping happily towards me. So yeah - we need simple recognition and acknowledgement. Even eye contact - I usually don't say much - and they just love it.
I love to give compliments - a quick genuine compliment to a stranger usually lights up a big smile - some folk aver to give compliments saying 'I don't want them to get a big ego' - yet most people rarely get genuine compliments.
Wife in a funk ? Not sure what you mean - but it makes me think of wives who avoid the husband (stay out of my kitchen, etc.) to focus on the kids, and then wonders why one day he walks out and doesn't come back.
As Dr. Phil said - relationships are negotiated every day - and every day you ignore your man - is one day closer to him choosing to leave. Give him a genuine compliment - chances are he's rarely heard any from you - and watch him take a deep breath - make him feel good - and he'll want to stay - with you.
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Excellent comment, @Hen3ry. Spot on!
1
Same applies to one's careers at work or at home. It all has to do with yin and yang.
Agree completely , esp unhealthy is when parents have their grand kids used as pawns . This has to be a large factor to ones mental and physical health too . When a parent is so stressed from this what will the health system agree or refute . We knew for year a happy environment is better all around , another funded study to print what was there prior . Rehash recycled info for today's drones and their phones . It's not a may be linked it is linked .
"The lead author, William J. Chopik, an assistant professor of psychology at Michigan State University, said that a happy spouse provides social support, and encourages you to eat a healthful diet and exercise, all of which can contribute to your good health."
This is not a logically valid conclusion and not a leap most psychologists would make. We have no way of knowing what that happy spouse is saying.
This is not a logically valid conclusion and not a leap most psychologists would make. We have no way of knowing what that happy spouse is saying.
Exactly! They can be perfectly happy eating chips and cake together while watching TV all day. Happy doesn't mean they are healthy in the stereotypical "eat well and exercise" way at all. Their health probably has more to do with lower stress and anxiety levels, which are also good for you.
Surely they have some data...
Furthermore there is no evidence in the article to support the purported causal direction. I would think that if, God forbid, my wife's health took a turn for the worse it would negatively affect my happiness.
9
Indifferent, contemptuous partners trigger depression & undermine immune resistance, culminating in the cachexis of slow suicide...elder gents w/money should refuse to fund their perfidious gallivants--& trust none who dubs herself a 'digital entrepreneuse'...true friends will point the way toward an early egresse...ignore them & you'll wind up on a steam-grate,
Painting women as money hungry predators is not cool, it's 2016! I also think it's a pretty safe bet that no woman is dubbing herself a "digital entrepreneuse".
Contrary to Trumpidon, women are no less honorable or talented than men...but she who imagines herself as a businessperson--w/o the slitest training, background, vision, brains, contacts, values or typal personality is bound to waste her youth & squander her partner's estate...then there's the hand of kismet [e.g., criminal interference abroad]...the real world is a brutal place that gives no quarter & will butcher you like a dog for fun--if it can...on the other hand, if you really do know y/self, survival is not out of the question--some of your grandkids might even cross the threshold to H. transcendans elysio [v. Bostrom, Church, deGrey, Doudna, Hawking, Koch, Kaku, Tegmark, Venter]...scan respondent's 114,000 pp on the matter--& prep for a shock...gradatim ferocitur!
Poor Melania...
15
So, if I'm unhealthy then it's her fault!
Who said so?
Living with your own happy self (even better: with a dog who makes you laugh) and having relationships with upbeat people—avoiding having too many Debbie and David Downers—I think is similarly good for your health.
Change that to kitty cat and I'm with ya 100%
3
Happy wife. Happy life.
One would think so . And the same can be said about having the right spouse .
An unhappy spouse ( partner) raises stress levels: moreover, when spice are happy and there is a good relationship, home is a refuge, a place of comfort; if otherwise, it's just another workplace, and not a pleasant one.